#Its like the whole argument about “we don't want them to be mates” “we don't want another mated couple”

[romanticatheartt]

You know what's so funny to me? The amount of times I've mistaken E/riel art with Feysand...

Idc what people ship. They have the right to ship any characters with each other and I wouldn't bat an eye because its not my business but drawing Elain with Feyre's light blue starfall dress and Azriel in all black and blue glitter on their face?... Or Elain in CoN style dress with a crown and Azriel in a suit?

Yeah I don't care what you draw AT ALL but it all proves to me that you don't want anything unique with your ship...

Or you don't care about the description of the characters in the book and we're the one who get accused of character assassination. Interesting.

Honestly asking, don't you want something unique for your ship?

I was on Pinterest and I got so happy to see a new Feysand art just to realize its not them. And it took me 10 seconds to realise it because it was THAT similar.

I'm saying this again because I don't want to deal with people who says "people are entitled to draw anything they want" and you're right!! But it just very VERY telling...

I suppose its not your fault really... because Azriel is really a rough draft of Rhysand with all the shadows, which also Rhys has. Or how Feyre was bride of spring and bla bla bla

Like it's not your fault the aesthetic is there (kinda?) But I don't think sjm will do another ship with the same aesthetic just saying...

#I hate to say this #But they want a second feysand... #This is not just a one time thing #It's happened A LOT #Its like the whole argument about “we don't want them to be mates” “we don't want another mated couple” #But at the same time creating the theory about mother mate Cauldron mate and bla bla bla #And already believing them to be mates? #lmao please #like bffr #Everything you need to know about the characters are already in the book #Ignoring them and call others out for not ignoring them as well is just straight up hypocrisy #feysand #This is the first anti E/riel I've made? #But it's really not #Idk how many time I said this but the reason people start hating something #Is their fans behavior lol #At least this is the case with this fandom... #elucien #gwynriel

[daliasmay]

The most ridiculous arguments I've ever seen from E/riels is not about "the smell of bread and roses", no, but about the sunshine she needs in her life, black dress and about that godforsaken city. It takes a megamind to use such arguments.

"Velaris has sunshine", "There's sun in the NC too", "The NC is a sun court we remind you", "Some flowers can bloom in the dark"

Even if the NC has a sun, it it still a night fucking court. n-i-g-h-t. This word means something, isn't it? Spring also has nights and it wasn't a right place for Feyre anyway. And you'd think Elain and Elucien's words about sunshine are just about only the damn flowers and the sun in the sky that rises in the morning and goes down in the evening. Please!

"They dressed her badly so that Eris would ignore her, lol", "They dressed her like that on purpose because they didn't want Elaine's beauty to overshadow Nesta's"

What the fuck?

Eris is completely indifferent to Elain as a woman. It isn't difficult to understand. And he is Lucien's brother, just fun to remember, who saved his life, looked at him with sadness in ACOWAR and visited him in ACOSF. Eris was interested only in Nesta. He is also a fashionable male and he looked at Elain with ✨assessing gaze✨. I suppose he's also noticed how much the black colour doesn't suit her (She used the perfect complement to her black dress - pearls - but even that couldn't save her from the colour that sucked the life out of her), not to mention the fact that he probably knows that she's his brother's mate. So delulu and simple demonstrating a zero reading skills if they understand the text like that. Basta!

It is also equally unfair to both sisters to say that. Nesta is a queen without her sisters, she is amazing woman by her own without any "help". She doesn't need any favours.

Elain is amazing woman, no need to dress her badly on purpose to make someone shine.

Sisters are amazing by their own. They all have their own powers and characters. I feel so sorry for those who don't understand it and use such stupid arguments to explain their ship.

"She is ok in Velaris, Velaris is her home, no need to worry about the Hewn City", "Her home in Velaris and in the NC. She doesn't want to leave the place where her family and nephew lives!!! She has a work - tending to Feyre's gardens and helping people in Velaris with theirs. She is happy!", "The Hewn City is not Elaine's place, that's why she was ridiculous there, Cassian meant that", "She can live in Velaris, she was healthy there!", "You want to take her away from the family that she loves and that loves her. You are a misogynist and Elain hater!", "Cassian is an unreliable narrator, he understand nothing in fashion. We can't believe him!"

PLEASE!

Night Court is her home, but not the Hewn City and Illyrians lands. Night Court is her home, but only in the borders of that retched city. How can they claim that the Night Court is her home, and at the same time erase most of the Court, including its official capital and royal residence?

Velaris is a huge hole that has been closed for thousands of years, and The Night Court is not Velaris, ThE CoUrT oF DrEaMs, how SJM called them, who loves to segregate their own citizens and think about 90% of the Court as scum and lowlifes, and do nothing to make their lives better.

If the Night Court is her home, don't sort its parts.

Cassian is an unreliable narrator, but Feyre with her fantasies and "What if the Cauldron was wrong?" is a very-very reliable narrator, yes-yes. Selective reading will strike you one day and it will be very hurt.

And here we are, with Elain and flowers, when she said the opposite to Nesta in ACOSF. Being Feyre's gardener and personal family baker aren't about her personal growth. Like being Azriel's personal houseplant.

The black dress was a metaphor. It is so cute how they can see things that are not there, but miss the log in their own eyes. (the rose necklace and the whole Azriel's bonus chapter, I can't).

I really don't know how they came up with that.

#anti e/riel #pro elucien #elucien #dasha: acotar thoughts #pro nesta archeron #lucien vanserra #eris vanserra #anti inner circle #anti ic

[acourtofthought]

god THANK YOU for pointing the whole Bryce and Azriel situation. Even tho you needn't to go this hard lol its basic logic!! Bryce lives in another whole universe is desperate to save her mate and brother. She's worried sick for them do you think she will forget about them to what? catch feelings for Azriel? I'm pretty sure the time she's in Velaris she'll try to save her mate and find some answers! LIKE BE SERIOUS FOR A SECOND!!!

Why sjm fandoms have an obsession about fated mates not being mates lmao idk how many times sjm wrote "MATE" in Bryce and Hunts pov the word that everyone keep saying is overused! well honey if she doesn't do that ppl won't believe they're mates! Like now, ppl are reaching with their theories that they're not mates. Same goes about Elain and Lucien so you see... SHE HAS NO OTHER CHOICE bc ppl have tendency to go all blind over that word lmao

And what is really amusing is that the arguments are so contradictory.

Bryce and Hunt have chosen one another and as a result, they ended up sharing a mating bond that is similar to what the Fae experience with their mates (scents merging, Hunt going crazy to protect his mate, SJM actually calling them mates/ true mates and all that jazz) yet some in the fandom insist they are not endgame because they believe they are not actual mates as their bond reads somewhat different than the Prythian bonds (which to me makes sense considering they are farther from magic than the ACOTAR characters and neither is 100% fae).

BUT......with Elucien, they'll say that they won't end up together because even though they are actual mates in canon with a bond that snapped and everything, they didn't CHOOSE to be together.

....................................................................................🧐🤦‍♀️

We're damned if we do, damned if we don't.

Somehow Feysands love is valid even though Rhys knew she was his mate almost immediately. No one claims his love for her is lessened because he suspected they were mates from the start.

But Elucien can't fall for one another because then, it's "just because of the bond".

But Bryce and Hunt can't end up staying together because even though they chose one another, their bond came about differently, and that means there's someone else out there she's meant to be with just because she shares a true bond with them.

This fandom is enough to give you a headache some days.

Maybe people need to realize that SJM is simply giving us a little variety in how these bonds all come about.

One is where the female was first enemies with, then friends with, then knew before the male because he thought he had already lost his mate so he was closed off from seeing who was in front of him the whole time.

One is where the male knew first and he hid it from the female until she fell in love with him.

One is where both the male and female suspected something from the get go but it was never confirmed until they chose to be together.

One is where both the male and female had it immediately snap as strangers and SJM created a storyline where neither was ready to deal with their bond so she's temporarily driven them apart.

One is where the male and female never suspected any bond, chose to be with one another after getting to know each other as friends even though they shared a mutual attraction early on, then had their mating bond begin to solidify after committing.

I don't understand why people think SJM is tossing around the word mate for her characters like it's an interchangeable accessory. If SJM wanted multiple mating bonds then why did Jesminda NOT turn out to be Lucien's mate? Why not have his first mate murdered then give him a second mate? Instead, she made it so he was waiting for the bond to snap into place but it never did because she was never actually his mate, Elain was. Why did Rowan only have a fake mating bond with Lyria? Why not allow Lyria to be his first mate, have Maeve coordinate her death only to trap him so that when his second mate came around, she'd still have control over him?

Instead, SJM has written it so these characters only have one actual mate.

No, not every bond looks the same or snaps the same but in the end, if they have an actual bond where the FMC / MMC character as a couple confirms it's a bond on page, that's the game. Bryce loves Hunt so much she feels that he is her mate and even though it came about differently it is still a bond others can scent and that causes a physical reaction in Hunt, shouldn't that be enough? Where another character confirms they are True Mates in the way fae are? Lucien and Elain confirm they feel a thread /bond between them (terminology used by both Nessian and Feysand) and where it is confirmed they both know what the other is to them. Anyone trying to denying those things as fact is someone who is being driven by disappointment because they were hoping for a different outcome rather than using logic. And yeah, it's never fun when the outcome isn't what we wanted but that still doesn't change anything. Team Jacob fans get it.

#elucien #quinlar #feysand #sarah j mass #nessian #rowan and aelin #mating bond #acotar mates

[hjparisian]

high infidelity- harry j potter x reader

"do you really wanna know where i was april 29?"

p: harry j potter x reader w: cheating, angst, hearts being broken whoops, not proofread a/n: i wanted to do something for this song cause it's april 29 and its been stuck in my head for a week. so i kinda threw whatever idea i had in my head lol

Harry Potter and (Y/N) (L/N) were two names you did not hear without the other. Ever since their fifth year, the two seem inseparable. Harry loved them and didn't know what life would be like without them (though he wouldn't want to think about it). After the end of the second wizarding war, Harry proposed to (Y/N) and life seemed to be perfect.

Or at least that's what it would seem from an outsider's perspective. Lately, there seemed to have been some trouble between the two wizards. Harry was busy as an auror in training, putting in the extra work to prove himself (even though he already did as The Boy Who Lived), which meant he wouldn't get home til late. Meanwhile, (Y/N) decided to become a healer, having a knack for healing and had already done some work with Madam Pomfrey during Hogwarts. The hours were long, but (Y/N) still had some spare time, though it was difficult to be able to spend time with Harry with his work.

Lately though, it seemed like (Y/N)'s hours were getting longer and longer, often not coming home until the middle of the night and being called in on days off. There was even a day in April where (Y/N) was gone the whole day only to return the next morning saying they wanted her to help a terribly sick patient.

Harry had found this odd, he wouldn't expect St. Mungo's to overwork (Y/N) like that. Hell even the ministry didn't overwork the people in training unless severely necessary, which was rare.

On his off day, Harry decided to visit Ron in his shared apartment with Hermione, since (Y/N) is at work and he hasn't seen Ron in a minute. He brings up (Y/N)'s long hours to Ron.

"I never seen them much anymore. It's always we see each other in the morning and then right before we go to bed. But lately they've been getting home really late. I don't know, I'm just worried Ron." Harry says.

"Well have you talk to them about it? Can't you guys request time off to spend time?" Ron asks him. Harry shakes his head. "Every time I say something they get mad and we have an argument." This was true. The perfect couple was no longer perfect. There were more arguments than they ever had during Hogwarts. To Harry, it seemed like the love was fading.

"Really?" Ron was a little astound by this, seeing as (Y/N) and Harry always hated being mad at each other and arguing. "And you say they've been coming home later?"

Harry nods his head again. "There was one night where they didn't even come back til morning." Ron started piecing the puzzle together, but did not want to believe his assumptions. Poor Harry would be heartbroken if it was true.

"Mate." Ron started. "Do you think they could be cheating on you?"

Harry felt his world stop at the thought of this. His precious (Y/N), in bed with another man? Spending their precious time with someone else? But it would make sense. Why they would come home late, the calls saying they have to stay later than usual. More particularly, where they could've been April 29.

Ron could seeing the pain and tears forming in his best friend's eyes. "Hey Harry, I could be wrong. Maybe they truly are busy." Saying anything to save Harry's pain.

"No Ron, I think you're right. I have to talk to them tonight."

So Harry sat in the living room of their home, waiting to (Y/N) to arrive. He hears the door unlock and sees the person he was looking for. He stands up.

"Hey Harry," (Y/N) says while hanging up their coat. Harry decides it was now or never.

"Have you been cheating on me?"

(Y/N) stops and looks at him. "What?" Harry speaks. "You heard me. Have you seeing someone else?"

There was a flash of fear and nerves in (Y/N)'s eyes. "Why would you even think that, Harry?"

He scoffs. "Why would I think that? Well, how about the fact that you're always at work? That you always seem to have to stay later and don't even come home til the middle of the night?"

(Y/N) interrupts him. "That's cause I'm busy treating people! They keep me late because they think I'm one of the best trainees and could use the work. And what about you? You never seem to have time for me cause you're too busy with auror training."

"We're not talking about me (Y/N), we're talking about you. You know how intense auror training is anyways. It feels like you work way longer hours than me. And everytime I bring something like this up you always seem to get upset."

"Of course I'm gonna get upset when you're attacking me like this!" (Y/N) screams.

"Well it wouldn't feel like I'm attacking you if you told me what's going on." Harry says. "You never even told me where you were that one day in April. You didn't even come back until morning."

(Y/N) responds, "I was busy at work." Harry felt himself getting more and more frustrated by the minute. "Bullshit, there's no way they kept you at St. Mungos for practically a day."

"Now I'm gonna ask you again, where were you April 29?"

Harry could see the (Y/N) finally exploded. "Do you really want to know where I was on April 29? You really want to know?" They scoff before continuing, "I was out with someone, getting the love and pleasure I haven't gotten for ages!"

Harry was shocked. So (Y/N) really was seeing someone else. The only thing he could say was "Who?"

They stood silent, avoiding eye contact with Harry who asked them again. "Who were you with? Who was giving you the love that I 'apparantly' didn't give you when it was you who wasn't appreciating me?

"Theodore Nott."

Theodore Nott was a Slytherin who was in the same year as both (Y/N) and Harry, though (Y/N) already knew him through family members and the occasional parties their families hosted.

Harry tried to hold back the tears of frustration and sadness. "You slept with Theodore, because you thought I wasn't loving you enough? (Y/N), you could've fucking told me. You knew I would've done anything for you. I would've made time. Here I was, wondering if I was overthinking that you didn't love me anymore, when I guess you really don't."

"Harry-" "No (Y/N), you made your choice, and it wasn't me. I want you get your stuff and leave."

Harry could see the tears welling up in (Y/N)'s eyes. In any other situation, he would've tried to cheer them up, make them laugh, comfort them. But right now, all he could do was watch them flow before letting his silently fall.

He watched (Y/N) go into their room and gathered some of their stuff in a suitcase. "You can get the rest of your stuff another day." (Y/N) just nods as they zip the suitcase close and walk to the door.

They open the door before looking back at Harry. "I'm sorry, Harry." He shuts the door behind them before sliding to the floor, letting his sobs fill the empty room.

There was so many different ways that this could've gone, but Harry would never thought it would end from not loving each other enough.

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry james potter x reader #harry james potter #hjp x reader #hp fanfic #hjp #high infidelity #hp fic

[hexsstuff]

Wild thought just launched out of me:

"what if the cauldron was wrong?"

Well, if we want to take the idea that Elain and Azriel are actually mates then the cauldron was never wrong in truth.

Now, small disclaimer, cause i saw quite often a big debate into who with who should be and in truth all ships actually feel plausible until we get THE TRUTH itself. So, i don't deny any of the ships that are being theorised, but Elriel is just a bit closer to my heart than the others. I just wish to see those two together so let me delulu on this platform for a few text lines.

*ahem* so let me unload now:

My biggest wish would be that Elain would choose Az above the mating bond, to have that forbidden love that in the end is accepted, or they both die for it. Hope more for the former as i still like happy endings.

But, in an interview, we have been told that we already met Az's mate, so now my idea popped into what if Elain actually is Az mate.

Well then that means the cauldron was wrong?

No, not at all, if the Elriel bond exists as a mating bond casted by cauldron itself, then it was never a wrong.

But then what about Lucien and Elain?

They make sense, there are similarities. And they have stuff in common just as Elain has with Az and just as Az has with Lucien himself. They are plausible as bond truly so i don't deny being a truth.

But if i want to say Az and Elain are the real mating bond, then (if we exclude the possibility of a double bond, but that is more for spicy writing than actually helping the plot imo) Lucien and Elain are a fake bond.

Now, how do we even bring arguments at this statement. How can a mating bond be fake, if not if was casted as a spell itself. But, again, who would cast it and why in the world a fake bond would have been casted in the first place.

The idea of this spell has been talked before from my scrolls into other people's theories. Some say is Lucien the one who did it, and i find it impossible, some say is Koschei, which i do believe he is aware of Elain existence i can't accept that he doesn't have anything else better to do than that, so not him neither, or the Cauldron, in desire to protect, which it might be the most plausible but we are missing a last suspect.

The one i believe has casted the fake bond, my dear Watsons is Elain herself.

The girl, who in the whole books has found safety into being coddled and protected by others, got dragged out from her bubble and thrown into the Cauldron's cold water.

When Elain got out she was fae, shocked and terrified of what just happened, hit by the cold air on her wet clothes and completely lost by everything she was taking in, both the stuff that was going around outside her, and also inside her, cause we know cauldron gifted her powers we don't even know.

I can't put myself truly in her shoes but i believe that in those moments her biggest wish might have been that this was a nightmare only. She wanted home, she wanted protection she wanted to be safe.

Her "maybe true" mate, Az, was close to stepping in the afterlife so not like we had any chance for those two to lock eyes and snap a bond.

But she locked eyes with Lucien, and she was having powers she had no awareness of what they were, how to use, or even if that she cared about them in that moment. She wanted to be safe. So Lucien only looked at her and whispered "my mate" as the spell was casted and hit its target. Soon after, he offers his coat just to bring warmth. He was ready to protect her, instinctually to keep her safe, even tho' he was still remembering his past lover, and questioning why the bond didn't snap for her.

After that we know what is happening in the story.

Now i feel, that we had Lucien to be the one hit, instead of, i don't know, Tamlin!?, mainly because it opened to plot into adding another reason for Lucien to help Feyre, and not start an even bigger war that we were already in. But also them having similar traits made them make sense.

Also, if we look now at Az, while taking the spell mating bond as a truth, things start to look different. He feels like he should be her mate, maybe even thought about it in the first interaction with her, but our man woke up to life only to see his girl with another, and a bond existing. He questions it, maybe he was wrong, maybe what he felt wasn't the mating bond. But he is still attracted to her, wanting to be with her. When he says Lucien doesn't deserve her, it's because he feels he should be her mate, not because 3 bats 3 sisters, but because instinctively he felt her as his mate at one point and maybe he still has. But the bond is not snapping and there is already another, whose scent clearly makes him not want to be in the same room with them.

Now we can only wait and see what will be the truth.

PS

I feel Elain admitting her mistake or trying to find a solution in her head is why she can't properly push Lucien, and apologize. And i have more headcanons to speak about her but that is all for now.

#elriel #elain archeron #azriel #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #lucien vanserra

[k00297635]

3D Material workshop Concept development:

During the week I met with Ashling for a peer review meeting. I explained my idea of looking at not necessarily disrupting things but how things that cant speak say so much about disruptions. I explained that I came home one weekend and when I went to the bathroom I saw two tubes of toothpaste a a ring that marked where the third one used to lie. I knew at that moment I was in for a quiet weekend. I did not know where the other girl had gone but from one item missing in our busy house I knew there was going to be a weekend free of arguments and disruption. We decided it would be interesting to cast some tubes of toothpaste. I wanted one that was full and one that was squeezed empty. I would like to place them together next to a ring of toothpaste that can imply the third and final toothpastes existence. The remaining two toothpastes belong to two girls who have a beautiful, long friendship or supporting each other through thick and thin. The empty(ish) tube of toothpaste is mine. I am so poor (I love college but I am so poor) and every time I look at my toothpaste I am just determined to squeeze more out of it because if I give up looking after my teeth and keep smoking I'll grow up and they'll all fall out. The other tube belongs to my beautiful house mate. Even though its full (because shes working full time) she is running on empty (emotionally). I know that seems like a big long ramble but being this age is so difficult. There is so much to do everyday and thats ignoring all the time it takes to attend to your basic needs. Taking that time each day can feel so exhausting but every time I do it I try and think of how this disruption will be worth it in the long run. I also think its so interesting and strangely insightful to look at different objects that belong to very different people and see the level of giving a fuck to these annoying disruptions they give. I don't know if people are aware of this but Corsadyl is expensive but my dentist (also expensive) told me to use it. Maybe the crack in the tube a represent the disruption to my bank account its causing.

Casting process: We decided to use Alginate with is a seaweed powder that gets mixed with water (water is poured onto the powder, always). I glued the tube of toothpaste to a board and attached a cylinder piece of card around it and poured the mixture in. It sets in about 4 minutes and then you're ready to take the object out and mix up some plaster to create the piece. Below is a video of me chuffed pulling the toothpaste out.

I understand how influential art is and how it's crafts and skills that are taken seriously to move people into thinking, feeling and questioning, but, if you can't tell from this video I was actually just having so much fun with this whole process.

Afterwards I repeated the same process but casted a bread roll (another staple and I know its weird to put bread in the fridge but food goes off so fast and bread just lasts longer if you keep it in the fridge and I have no time to go to Lidl more than once a week). The mould looked good so I mixed up some plaster. Mixing plaster is the opposite to mixing Alginate as you start with water and slowly add the plaster powder in. You fill your mould with water and then you pour that into a bowl so you have an idea of how much plaster you'll need. You slowly add the powder in in circular movements until it started to sit on the top. Then (and only then) can you stir it gently by placing your hand in and mixing under the surface. If you're taking your hand in and out you're going to add air in and you don't want air bubbles in your piece so you have to be gentle and careful. For the full tube of toothpaste I did a wax cast because i wanted to try a different material. I wasn't happy with how it looked because it doesn't really look like toothpaste but I might etch some toothpaste resembling things (disrupt the surface) onto it so the viewer knows its toothpaste. I wanted to use red wax because I thought it would be an interesting way to demonstrate that just because you're put together enough to regularly restock your toothpaste does not mean you are physically and mentally doing so great. These are the final pieces. I but the bread roll back into the bag I bought it in and I'm chuffed with how it turned out. For the afternoon I made some beer bottles that and delicately kissing. I would rather talk about this subject in person.

[unstabull]

TW victim blaming, mis-gendering in screenshot

TW personal mentions of my own abuse /trauma

warning for a long post

So I was going to just block and move on but considering @bcbdrums decided to post a screen shot with my username and tag the whole soul eater fandom in an attempt to, I dunno, shame me? I feel I need to at least say SOMETHING on my own behalf. I am trying to learn I matter and can stand up for myself and I think this is a good time to practice that.

So when the original post was made, in my head I was thinking to myself "I didn't tag or say who said the thing, I simply made it known the thing was said, so I could give my own opinion" and although I was a bit nervous in the end I decided this is my blog and I am allowed to have and even share an opinion.

I am a nervous mentally ill trauma survivor myself hence why I love Crona in the first place, so when I first even noticed the comment on my original post I was filled with immediate fear, because I had already openly disagreed with this person before. Now after some hours of panic and my mate waking up, so they could tell me what the comment said in the first place, (I was too frozen with fear to even go on the app), they suggested I not delete my post (which was my immediate reaction) and instead just block and remove the comment.

I did this because one I wasn't looking for an argument or a discussion, if I was I'd of reblogged the original post where the original thing was said. Two the reply itself was talking about how "the quote in that book meant adult child relationship-" I literally addressed this first thing by saying that no adults, in the universe in which we are discussing, are offering that help. So by starting with that they were ignoring what I already said. Three if you innately hate Crona why are you even near my blog? Personally I hate soul x maka and I could go comment on everything to do with it, but guess what? I don't, because I don't need to.

Now, when I was shown parts of a post, you ask why no one will talk to you about this ship, and instead they block or ignore you. From just a small search from back at our first interaction, I found many posts proving it would of been pointless to try discussing anything with you. One of the most concerning to me was this one:

you clearly hate Crona (and misgender them). In this post, you victim blame an abused child saying that they're willing in their actions? "Dont care if (their) mom was horrible that's no excuse" You are blaming an abused teen for doing what their abuser tells them they must, this kid is 15 and been groomed since day one of its life, and you're calling them cold blooded and willing? meaning they feel nothing no remorse and want to do these things? that's literally not true you are just insanely bias by your hate. If you actually understood what abused kids go through and feel you would know Crona had no options and deeply truly felt it had no choice. Even Maka understood this.

Now I'm not gonna continue about that or even go out of my way to pull any "evidence" for you on why Crona was clearly unwilling, because of posts like this:

"Crona should have died" like why the hell should anyone even attempt talking to you about this subject, when you're saying stuff like this? "It would have made Crona's story meaningful" you've obviously made up your mind that Crona is some heartless monster undeserving of forgiveness, and will forever be guilty in your eyes, so the idea you really believe you are capable of discussing this topic is ridiculous. And I'd like to stress again, you are talking about a mentally ill, abused 15 year old in the above post... fictional or not, I find your hate towards this abused teen disturbing. I really can't even imagine how you would view and treat real victims of abuse. I mean again even if it's fiction, you openly think a teenager deserves to die because in your eyes its the only way they can, what? "repent"? Like honestly that's pretty ableist in my opinion. The fact you can't accept that Crona is worth helping and deserves to be saved shows just how little you got out of this series.

Now I am going to discuss more personal topics and down to why I felt I truly needed to say something in the first place.

As previously stated I am an abuse and trauma survivor myself, I have been through a lot, and my first abuser was my older brother, and therefore I could not get away from him. Having a family member abuse you from day one and constantly be in power of you, and above you, and stronger than you, is extremely detrimental. I had him bullying me almost 24/7 growing up until I was finally about 11 or 12 when he went to live with my bio father. I was SO relieved he was leaving I cried with relief and couldn't wait till he left. And It wasn't until a couple of years later when I was about 14 that he came back. I was terrified. Now here's where people assume I should have said something or done something or perhaps even isolated completely to get away from my abuser (I did that near the end).

Well as a survivor of abuse I tend to always blame myself by default, and back then I had no confidence, I was pretending to be cishet, and also hiding that I wasn't "normal". So when my brother came home I was subservient to him almost immediately. I kept his secrets, I played the role assigned, I was his punchline, I was his errand boy.

Like Crona I felt I had no options and my best choice was to protect myself and to do whatever my abuser wanted and keep them appeased. Even if that meant hiding everything and pretending we were close. Yes Crona is fictional but their character means a lot to people who have been through or are going through abuse like that especially familial. And your comments that Crona is a willing participant and guilty because they do what their abuser says, really is insensitive to people who have been in a situation or are still in a situation in which they must do what an abuser wishes, or believe they must do it.

Now another point you keep bringing up is how "Crona needs therapy" an argument that is moot because no one in the universe in which this character lives is offering such help. And even if they were openly offering therapy to Crona it's still not the only thing mentally ill abused people need. Especially ones that have gone through childhood trauma and continued abuse.

I first went to therapy when I was about 15 or 16, because I was young I was treated as if I had no need to depressed or struggling in the first place. My first counselor not only taught me that masking was best so that I didn't make others uncomfortable, she also would talk about other cases she was working on. I decided to find another. Again because I was young I was not taken as seriously, and because I had learned to mask so well from my last counselor my new one didn't recognize any signs and after a year she "graduated" me. I've tried a few others throughout the years and all to no avail. It took me a bit more than decade from my first counselor to finally find one that knows what they're doing, has been through trauma, and is actually helping me.

"Go to therapy" isn't the magical fix neurotypicals think it is. And asking us to completely open up to strangers in a system that could possibly lock us up and harm us for our thoughts and feelings is such a ridiculous request. Most mental health providers I have met are not trust worthy.

Now that doesn't mean I have said anywhere that therapy doesn't work, or should be avoided or disregarded. But I am also not going to pretend like it's all we need either. I am a mentally ill, trauma survivor and I am so tired of people telling me what I experienced, and what I need. I know exactly what I needed, I was there. And I know what it's like asking adults for help and looking to adults for help and getting none. I don't need to have someone come at me on my private blog trying to convince me that I'm wrong and that I don't know what I'm talking about when I have literally been through a lot of what I discuss. Also I don't need someone framing it like me posting on my personal blog about a book on trauma and a fictional character is "spreading misinformation" that's ridiculous. I have done nothing wrong.

As someone with experience being abused and being through trauma I know for a fact if I had, had someone near me, near my age to befriend me, and that I could trust, that would have done me a lot of good. Not because they would have "fixed" me but because I would have gradually started to learn that I am capable of being loved, and that I deserve good things. A very important step for those of us with trauma.

And in conclusion I want to say this whole thing has been quite ridiculous. The fact there was even a need to publicly post the screen shot with my username included in the first place, along with adding the tags to the main fandom to, again I can only assume, try to shame me? is just weird to me in general, and all this because I blocked someone for my own wellbeing. This is all I have to say on the matter, I felt I should stand up for myself, and after seeing a screen shot of this person saying they "really want it to be explained to them" I decided to give the reasons why I don't bother discussing topics with people like that, and people who think in the ways shown in the above screen shots, there is nothing to be said, because they are never going to listen. I hope this marks the end of whatever this has been, I have said what I feel I not only have a right to say but honestly should say.

I want to thank whoever reached the end of this post I appreciate your time, and if you agree with either of the screenshots above we should now part ways.

#UNSTABULL #mental illness #mental health

[nightlyponder]

even as a meat eater the arguments that are pro-meat eating that happen On Here are not the strong arguments people be tryna make them out to be. even without seeing the counterarguments from the vegans/vegetarians i follow, which i dont follow many, the pro meat arguments dont stand on their own.

there are extremists in the anti meat camp for sure but it annoys me to know they are a minority in that camp and i actually dont hear from them as often as i hear people complain bout them.

what irritates me most though is that i saw a post come across my dash that was a criticism of veg* folk where the tone was very much in line with how capitalists talk about capitalism + anti communist rhetoric. its the lack of imagination in envisioning a world beyond what currently is. the post was very much 'how can the world exist without animal agriculture, its impossible'. maybe it is with that attitude. and the fact that it was reblogged by a solarpunk person too grinds my gears. like arent we here for supporting new technologies that reduce harm and that is efficient? there are beasts of burden that folk rely on because they dont have other technology to use but isnt that something we could work toward?

(also meat eaters also eat non meat products, aint nobody out here eating nothing but meat and if they are, their body isnt doing well i can promise you that so those arguments bout people's veggies/fruits bein picked by exploited workers, girl do you think your veggies/fruits are comin from somewhere different?? but i digress)

and i dont even wanna get into the posts that say "nature is unfair" as a defense to eating meat because theres a lot that goes on in nonhuman animal lives that we as beings with morals and complex understandings that we don't do because we understand its wrong (talking about sexual assault and murder, like come on sis. male lions naturally kill a lioness' cubs before mating with her to take over the pride, what does that have to do with how humans govern themselves.)

im okay with saying i eat meat because i like it and its easier for me to find food options without worrying about animal products and that eating animals has ties to cultural practices, rather than using a 'these are our animalistic urges therefore we're right to do it' defensive. thats too close to arguments that justify misogynist bullshit too ('men are animals, they cant help their urges that why he assaulted her' like hello? do you see the dots connected the bullshit to the other bullshit).

these are the goal posts im talking within. not gonna go into dietary restrictions based on (dis)abilities because thats a different argument than the arguments im annoyed at, as stated above. but also every vegan i follow makes it abundantly clear its about reducing as much harm as possible so you do the best you can and theres no one who can do it 100% but the whole point is to try, and that veganism isn't a diet, its an ideology that includes addressing how we eat because it can't be separated from the ideology.

i just want more good faith arguments from my fellow meat eaters. cuz if there's anyone who has been successful in pushing me toward a more vegan lifestyle its the weak but strangely strongly supported arguments of other meat eaters.

#im not interested in poking the bear on the conversation of veganism but i have thoughts #so this is not rebloggable and its goin under a read more #jericho.txt #it wasnt supposed to be this long

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I can't help but think back to the beginning of the series, or throughout episode 1, we are never shown the face of the Darkling. We discover it at the same time as Alina. This, in fiction, is a technique usually used for the heroine discovering her romantic interest.

Also, Alina's Scarf literally flying in the direction of the Darkling, subtly indicating that they will be bonded, literally screaming soul mate bond!

With such a presentation how am I supposed to consider them other than the center of the series?! They are the center of the series. Literally. As well as the main relationship. No offense to the author herself.

For me Darklina is the main relationship, the center of this whole story. They are literally a tragic romance. They are coded like this.

I don't even see how anyone can claim that Malina is the center of this story. He's Alina's love interest, that's all.

I swear that if the writers haven't planned a sequel for Darklina, as well as a moving ending for both, I'm going to have a very bad time. Because I refuse to believe that episode 8 of season 2 was the end of their story. I refuse to believe it until I see it myself.

Anyway, going back to the first point, seeing the Darkling's face through Alina's eyes really cemented that they were the main romantic (albeit tragic) relationship. They literally used a technique that relates to this...

I mean you've made some good points here especially about how they delayed us seeing Aleks for the first time until we see him alongside Alina seeing him for the first time. It also means that we see that connection between them at the same time that Alina feels it for the first time. So it very much makes it seem like we were coming along on the journey with her. Also as you mentioned there's the scarf flying back towards Aleks which I actually made a whole post on way back when the first season came out (its here for anyone who is interested) but it really does scream tied/bonded to each other symbolism, like a lover's favour.

I do think it is very easy to see them as the centre of the show. I know that I do and always have. Especially with the way Netflix is always promoting them, they are always paired together in interviews, and they even, after season 1, did a break down of their first kiss, which was funny to me because it was after season 1 came out, so post black heretic reveal/collar scene had already been seen by audience's. Which if they don't want the audience to see this as a romantic couple is an odd move to make.

I am too hoping that season 3 is going to give us some good darklina content with an emotional ending. I really don't think their story is over, I said in another post that I feel like season 1 set up their relationship, season 2 broke them apart and season 3 will bring them back together again. Think about the formula of pretty much every romance movie ever, it starts with the couple meeting and developing feelings, then mid-point to 3/4's through they break the couple up somehow whether its they discover a secret/ there's a reveal, or there is some kind of miscommunication, the couple go their separate ways usually after a huge and emotional argument. The in the final act the miscommunication is solved or they both realise that their feelings for the other is bigger than any disagreement they have had, that they can understand the others side and that results in the couple coming back together again in some big romantic scene that ends in a kiss. I really do think they are following this formula with darklina its just drawn out over several seasons as opposed to one movie. Right now we are at the point in the movie where they have been broken apart. But that means the big reunion is still to come. With Alina's corruption arc I think this makes that reunion even more likely.

#darklina #s&b season 2 spoilers #answered

[mebiselfandi]

Out of the league(s) you watch, are there any clubs other than your favourite club that you can tolerate/enjoy? Whether it’s the fanbase or the players or the club itself, I’m curious!

Hi anon!

This is a fantastic question cause now I can rant about Liverpool.

Well I support Liverpool in the prem but when I first started watching footy I actually watched arsenal quite a bit but idk I just never got into it but I do have such a soft spot for them. Like I'll rib my arsenal mates about them sometimes but honestly if they won the league I wouldn't be mad. But Liverpool stays on top. Those are my boys. My star players. Look at how they're all improving with each game. Sure we have a couple rough spots and we ended last season terribly but we are sooo back. I mean rn we're only 2 points away from winning the league. They're my broski's fr and if I feel like crying when I watch them play cause I love them we don't bring it up.

I also watch la liga kind of. Its complicated. I started out watching rma a whole lot more than I watched Liverpool and when they played each other last season I was literally giggling cackling over Liverpool's demise. But nowadays I almost never watch them. I just keep up with the scores but that's about it and atp I just say I follow madrid to vex my barca friends. Now considering I don't really watch them but they are my chosen team, I have no sense of rivalry especially in the Spanish league. I do like barca in a sense. Do I want them to win like I want arsenal to win? Goodness no. Not in any world. Couldn't care less about their footy and probably wouldn't defend them in am argument like I would arsenal. However, they're team is full of lil guys and I can't hate them really. If someone was just blatantly being mean and rude then yeah I'd probably be like shut up. But really I've never watched them outside of el classico and if el classico comes up you best believe I hate those guys strongly. But if I see them being gay on my dash, I'm just a girl and I will rb it 100%.

Also if someone invited me to watch arsenal I would cheer them on. If they lost to Liverpool if feel maybe 🤏 this bad cause I do love them but the happiness for my own team far outweighs whatever affair I have with arsenal

#anon asks :) #lemme not cry about liverpool again #ALSO FUCK CITY #i should mention they're really like the only team i genuinely cant stand at all #i hate those dudes sm

[cassandrajoybellbittner]

All It Took Was One Look - Chapter 38b

*Warning Adult Content*

Liam

I stared up at the ceiling as I laid on the hospital bed.

It's been a week since Brent confessed.

Aiden's parents were livid to learn what Brent had did and they immediately called his parents.

I would have reported him to the police if I was them but I know one thing... Brent was never coming anywhere near Aiden again.

My dad comes by lately, ever since our talk I've tolerated his presence in the room.

I talked to him about what happen to me when my wolf took over like he did and he told me that he's heard wolves going crazy with rage even though they don't turn rogue.

They can experience it if they're threatened severely enough or angered... the will take over your body completely for a period of time.

Then there was Dominic who had changed his ranking in a matter of seconds.

My dad didn't really have an answer for that one.

I always dreaded the fact that Kyle was going to be my Beta since I hate his guts.

Dom and I have been friends for so long I always wanted him to be my Beta even when Kyle had been my friend once upon a time.

I sat up and hopped from the bed pacing the room.

I couldn't take it anymore.

It's killed me that I couldn't do anything to help Aiden in this situation.

He had to come back to me.

My parents accepted us... we can be together without the thought of them hating us for it.

I kicked a chair out of my way watching it crash to pieces against the wall as I stalked back and forth in the small room like a caged animal.

Again the constant beeping of the heart monitor grated on my nerves, reminding me that my mate was in danger.

"What happened?"

A nurse came running in the room with a worried expression on her face.

She looked from Aiden to me then the chair laying helplessly in pieces.

She sighed and gave me a tired look.

"You can't keep destroying the hospital furniture or we'll have to escort you off the premises," she warned me.

She was like a broken record... I've heard it more than a hundred times already.

"Then quit putting more chairs in here," I growled at her.

She rolled her eyes and pointed at me.

"Just stop."

And left with the damn door open.

I gritted my teeth as I stomped to the door and slammed it shut.

"And quit slamming the door," she yelled from the hall.

Jeez she's worse than my mother.

I rested my back against the door and closed my eyes for a second.

I feel suffocated being in this little room but as we all know I can't leave.

I looked back at my mate, what can I do?

How do I wake him up?

Walking over to his bed I sank to my knees.

'Please spirits help me. You matched us together, you can tell me what to do,' I was begging but I'd do more than that to have him with me.

I grabbing his hand between both mine.

"You have to help him, please. I can't live without him," my voice was becoming tight.

I couldn't stop the tears when they started to come.

"Don't take him away from me before I even got to know him... have our first argument as a couple or come out to my pack. Before he can rule by my side. Before I get to even say... I love you."

Hot tears slid down my face as I laid my head on his chest as I sobbed.

Beep-beep Beep-beep

My head shot up at the sound of the heart monitors first irregular beep.

I looked at the machine but it was back to its normal pace.

I frowned and peered at Aiden.

The doctors did warn me that the monitor would have fluctuations and it could mean a lot of things.

Like a dream the patients having or if you talk to him.

But that's never happened before.

Everyone has tried to talk to him but there has never been a response to our words.

"Aiden?" I said to him but nothing.

I reached up with my other hand to comb my finger through his hair.

"My parents want to talk to you... they want to meet their next Alpha. They're thrilled about it, so you don't have to be scared about anything, I'll be there the whole time. We can do this together Aiden... I'll never let anyone touch you again. All you have to do is wake up so we can move forward together."

My thumb caressed his bottom lip.

"I'll always be here for you... even if you never want to wake up. I'll be here by your side ready to leave whenever you are."

I bent close to his mouth so our noses were touching.

"Do you know why baby?" I asked.

I pressed my lips to his softly feeling the sparks igniting between us before pulling back.

"Because I love you," I whispered, my eyes closed and I placed my forehead on his, finally coming to terms with the situation.

I will be by his side no matter what, no matter if he's awake or is asleep I'm not leaving him.

I felt something on my hand, looking down but there was nothing but his own still hand.

Then it happened, his hand twitched in mine.

My heart jumped at the sight as my eyes widened.

Please don't let this be a hallucination.

Again, I watched as his fingers weakly curled around mine.

I couldn't stop staring at our hands.

Was this is really happening?

"Aiden?"

I looked up to his face to find sky blue eyes staring at me.    

[edelweissacermacrophyllum]

Genesis 34-35, Psalm 10:1-11, Matthew 12:46-13:17

As much as I am a pacifist and don't believe in killing, I have felt hateful towards those who sexually assault people. So when, in this story, Jacob's daughter is taken by a man from a tribe she was visiting, I can't help but cheer a little at what her brothers did. They didn't just kill him. No, they convinced him and his supporters to curcumcise themselves. And then they killed them while they were still recovering.

It was a squabble between tribes, and without any institutions to mete out justice, this was as close as they were likely to get. But Pierce Brown wrote that, "Justice isn't about fixing the past. It's about fixing the future." And I can see the argument that the death penalty for these things might fix the future. But Jesus has other ideas when he told us to love our enemies a few chapters ago.

I've said before that these stories make a whole lot more sense when you understand the tribal semi-nomadic setting that they took place in. Cities are not cities, towns are not towns. There are landmarks, but the people follow the good grazing. There is not that much agriculture going on at this point. I don't think. They still have bread, so it must have been practiced a little. What we see here is Jacob's tribe, excercising its influence over the neighbouring tribes and having conflict with them from time to time.

Jesus has other ideas of the sort of tribe he wants as well. In this passage he seems to reject his biological family for those that have chosen to follow him. There's been a housing crisis in my city for a while and I heard recently that one of the causes is family breakdown. Five people who used to need one home now need four or five and our social services can't keep up. The solution I've become attached to is found family. A bunch of young people live together in a more intentional way than just room mates. We have lived together for a couple years now, basing our community off shared values and practices. I like to think that Jesus celebrates this kind of life. Communities in his day were much closer out of necessity and families were multigenerational and very tight. But today this sort of life is seen as something you do because you can't afford to be independent.

I'm soapboxing about one of my favourite topics, and being rather isogetical at the same time, so I'll stop. We are supposed to live in community and support our siblings who are hurt. We are also supposed to support our enemies, whatever that means.

#bible in a year #pacifism #Jacob #Dinah #God

[bookofmirth]

What pisses me off about the El/riel fandom is that they sh*t on Rhys and say " Oh, so he's allowed to steal Feyre from Tamlin but Azriel isn't??" and then call him a hypocrite.

Rhys's situation:

- He and Feyre share a mating bond.

- He loved Feyre and was even willing to let her be with Tamlin, just for her happiness.

- Tamlin was very abusive towards Feyre and she was doing not okay.

- Feyre herself begged for not Rhys, but literally anyone to come save her.

- Feyre has great powers that would have made her hurt herself and others if Mor and Rhys didn't save her, because she wasn't allowed to lern how to control them.

- Not only did he save her because of his love for her and her health but also because she's needed for war with her powers.

Azriel's situation:

- Elain shares a mating bond with someone else.

- Elain is doing fine and she does not need saving.

- Elain can reject the mating bond and do whatever she whishes. She would have the IC's full protection if she did.

- Lucien keeps his distance and lets her have all the freedom and time she wants.

- Rhys would have let el/riel be happy if Azriel just told him the right reasons. He gave him a goddamn chance.

- Azriel feels entilted to her and the only reason he could give Rhys was "my 2 brothers got 2 of her sisters, so the third sister should be mine"

- Azriel never thought beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to, which shows that he does not have any deep feelings for her.

Like- their situations are entirely different. If Rhys had allowed Azriel to be with Elain after all the crap Azriel has told him... believe me when I say that this relationship wouldn't last long. They wouldn't have a HEA.

(I don't like Rhys that much, but since he did the right decision in the bonus chapter- I defend him only this time)

Rhys lost the majority of his rights after acosf, BUT we do have books and books of him doing the right thing. We know exactly how Rhys behaved when his mate was in love with someone else, about to marry someone else. The whole "what if the Cauldron was wrong" argument holds ZERO weight with Rhysand when that does not matter. When Elain can say "fuck the Cauldron, it's always been Az!" So why does Az mention the Cauldron at all? Or the symmetry? He's desperate and not thinking clearly, and certainly not thinking about what Elain wants or needs - and that in comparison to what you've said about Rhys, who thought of NOTHING but what Feyre wanted and needed.

Honestly, the more I think about it, Az saying "what if the Cauldron was wrong" was like... the last fucking thing to say to Rhys, a dude who was about to let his Cauldron-"given" mate marry someone else. The Cauldron doesn't fucking matter when it comes to love, Az, and you shouldn't have to throw its importance behind your argument when that's the literal opposite of what your bestie and High Lord stands for.

I mean, if the Cauldron was "wrong", then what, Azriel Shadowsinger? Do you think that's a good argument for Rhys to then strong-arm Elain into being with you? Because I think the implications there are nasty, you're desperate and lonely and sad, and it's showing.

Know your audience, Azriel! Rhys was about to suffer for the rest of his life letting Feyre marry Tamlin despite the Cauldron/Mother/whatever pairing them. The fact is that Elain has a mating bond, and knowing it's with someone different wouldn't necessarily change her mind about the concept. If she wanted to be with you (Az), she already would have been because no one is making her act otherwise. Just like Feyre was with Tamlin, despite her bond with Rhys.

Meanwhile, in comparison to how Rhys treated the Feyre situation, Az has done the opposite. Just because he's being quietly disrespectful (not just of the elucien mating bond, but of Rhys, Feyre, Lucien, and Elain as individuals too) doesn't make it any less impactful. And the fact that he was willing to say "what if the Cauldron was wrong" isn't sexy, it's him saying "what if I'm actually her mate and she is forced to consider me instead of Lucien". I think that he was speaking out of desperation and wouldn't actually go so far as to rely on the Cauldron in that way, but why does his mind go there? It's just a sign of his overall mental state, imho.

#antielriel #ask #anon #acotar

[nikethestatue]

just saw a post that apparently az gave up on mor for g**n. as if sarah didnt scream at us in acosf that its because of elain💀

Yep, I saw it and there are a lot of incorrect assumptions and information in it.

Firstly, Azriel actually met Gwyn FIRST, before he ever met Elain. The attack on Sangravah was before they went to the sisters. So if he was so taken with her (of mated! more about that later) Elain wouldn't have happened at all.

The argument of why he 'didn't fall in love' with Elain quicker--he met her in approximately February and she was turned about May-June. She was a human woman, also engaged, so I don't know how he would've gone about falling in love with her (having seen her, we assume once). I believe the war was in September. By the time the war rolled around, he was willing to risk his life for Elain in Hybern. Prior to that, he went along with Rhys AGAINST Mor and did not discourage Rhys from engaging both Kier and Eris in his plans.

Within about 2.5-3 months (putting aside Elain's near-catatonic state for over a month, and his own recovery after being shot in the chest) Azriel is so smitten with her, he flies to Hybern to save her with no care about himself AND his court/Rhys, knowing that his absence and potential death may lead to losing the war entirely AND then gives her TT.

By the time the first Solstice rolls around (3 months after the war), we know that he is avoiding any spying on her/Lucien, he is worried about getting her a gift for Solstice, and during Solstice it becomes evident that both of them are very much into each other. (Read the entire ACOMAF) Mor and Azriel are not mentioned even then as a 'couple'.

In the POV, he HIMSELF says to us that he's been avoiding Elain for a year, since he is beside himself with want, like, love, lust, whatever. He can't help himself and gets her a gift, which he doesn't give her in front of anyone else. He certainly gives Mor his gift in front of everyone. He doesn't give a gift to Gwyn.

Addressing the whole mate nonsense. Mated men do not masturbate to and think about other women, when they are mated. They don't attempt to pursue other women. They don't think about having sex with other women. We know that men are aware of mate bonds before women (Rhys, Cassian, Lucien) regardless of acceptance or 'snapping'. If Gwyn was his mate, he would've known pretty much right away, back in Sangravah. He also wouldn't have been able to live for a year at the House of Wind (while avoiding another woman wtf), while his 'mate' lived in the same building, and not seek her out. It's essentially biologically impossible. (Think Lucien and how he and Elain were, btw, IN THE SAME HoW and the IC were taking bets on how long it would take him to seek her out. Same with Cassian and Nesta--took him actually no time at all) And even if Azriel had some monumental self-control over himself which is off the charts, he certainly would be snarling more at Cassian when he trained Gwyn. And...oh, yeah, NOT FANTASIZE ABOUT ELAIN for a year and have no other relationships. And avoid any mention of Mor.

Love Interest vs Nesta's friend and maybe a mentee. That's the difference between the two relationships.

#elriel #pro elriel #that's not how it works #that's not how any of it works #elain archeron #azriel and elain #elain x azriel

[sillyrabbit81]

The Pull

Summary: Alternative Universe. Vampire Henry. Henry, Crown Prince of the Vampires is avoiding his responsibilities because of his mother's fate. When Henry finds his mate, the circumstances are eerily similar to his mother's. Rather than risking his mate's life, Henry chooses to run, but can he run from his fate?

Pairing: Henry x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Warnings: off screen death, mentions of slavery, implied blood drinking

Authors Note: Thanks to @henryobsessed for beta reading and support!

Masterlist

Part 19 Part 21

Part 20

Henry

A week after our initial meeting with Alex; Felix, Fawn and I were forced to return to court. It wasn't ideal but we had a plan, and my poor Little Fawn was going to be integral to its success or failure. I wish she had more time to prepare but circumstances forced us to act quickly.

During the week, Lawrence and David had arrived, bringing Angelica with them. Felix and Angelica's reunion was so intense that we all left the house for half the night. Fawn in particular was affected by it, being such a new Vampire meant her Lust was easily brought on either by hunger, desire or heightened emotions. Other than that one evening, we all stayed together in the lodge.

Fawn and Angelica got along well too, which was perfect for our plans, her knowledge of women and their activities would play a part if our plan to overthrow my father with as little bloodshed as possible could be achieved.

The past week was tough on Fawn. She would spend her days with Charlie at Alex's house, I would spend most of my time in meetings with Alex, his two guards, Felix, Lawrence and David. When Fawn would arrive home, she would get lessons on how to behave in court, how to address people, Angelica taught her about the machinations of the females in the court as best she could, although I can't imagine much has changed in 120 years. We, vampires, tend to move slowly. Then she would meet with Lawrence and start preparing for her role in the uprising.

We had an argument about what she was expected to do. I almost put my foot down and refused to allow her to be involved, but I was the only one who said no. I even implored David to ask her to stop, but he wouldn't.

On the fifth night, we heard a rifle shot. Felix was patrolling the area around the lake house and cried out urgently, "We may have been discovered."

I told David to come with me and told Lawrence to stay with Angela and Fawn. I expected a fight from her, but she didn't argue.

David and I ran to Felix as we ran David spoke to me, "This is the first time we have been alone and I wanted to say, thank you for treating my sister so well."

"Did you think I wouldn't?" I asked annoyed. David shrugged. "And yet still offered her to me as you did that night."

He shook his head, "It's not what you think Henry, I had no idea about the political aspect of Lawrence's plan. All I knew was how happy being with Lawrence made me, how whole I felt after finding him. I wanted that for Row. I knew she was increasingly lonely with me not being around the last few years. I thought she had suffered enough and deserved happiness. You had always seemed like a good male to me."

We were close to Felix, but I thought David and I needed this chat. I checked that Felix had the intruder under control and slowed to a walk. "Have you and Lawrence discussed what he did?" I asked David.

He nodded, "Yes. I made my displeasure known, but I couldn't stay mad at him. The only person he loves other than me is you. But more than both of us, he loves Vampires and loves our world. I think he would destroy anything and anyone to maintain who we are and our way of life.  He loves humanity, and what they offer, culturally and scientifically. For some reason I don't understand, it seems despite our long lives we have little interest in that."

"The only fields we seem to thrive in is philosophy, music and the arts. You'd be surprised how much comes from our kind. But you're right we don't make full use of our lives the way humans do. And I also think we would be poorer if they were not free to make their own world." I said. "I'm glad you and Lawrence have reached an understanding. You are right, Lawrence does love Vampire society. He can be very single minded as you say, but he is a very good man, with a good heart."

David and I found Felix and I hissed when I saw whom he had captured. "How on earth did you manage to kill Louis?" Louis was my father's assassin. He was beyond deadly and my mind reeled at how Felix could have stopped him. He was dead with a hole in his chest.

Felix looked as confounded as we were. "By accident really, poor Louis here is getting a bit long in the tooth it seems. Or cocky, I'm not sure. Anyway, he had a silver accident." Felix held up a sniper rifle and said, "I smelled him as he approached and grabbed this from our stash."

"Well, I suppose we have no choice now," I said. "Tonight, we return to court." I hoped my Little Fawn was ready. "I have some arrangements to make, can you two take care of the body? Burn it?"

They agreed and I returned to the house, calling Alex on the way.

"Henry," Alex said, "to what do I owe this phone call at 1.24 am."

"Sorry, I didn't check the time. I would have called anyway. My father sent an assassin after us. I don't have any more details as he is no longer able to speak."

"That's a shame, he may have been good company."

"It is what it is. Anyway, we have to move, we will be returning home and presenting Fawn to court. Are you ready for that? Do you need me to leave Felix with you.?"

"No, I think we will be fine."

"Alex, I'm sorry you have to go through this tomorrow. I'm sorry, you couldn't work out another way as we did," I said with sincere sorrow.

"Just promise me you will take care of my family if all goes to shit." Alex just as sombrely. "I'm trusting you not only with my son but with my mate, daughter and mother."

"I know Alex, but I know you will be there for Fawn if anything happens to me." Shifting my tone, I said, frustrated, "Couldn't you have tried to talk her out of it?"

Alex surprised me by laughing, "Henry, she stood up to me in the middle of my first transition period, and you know how volatile young wolves are. She's not only stubborn but courageous as hell. I think she needs a new nickname, she was never really a Fawn, more of a lioness."

Despite everything that was happening, Alex made me chuckle, "Yeah you're probably right." I wondered if he knew about her calling me a Lion.

"Keep me updated tomorrow."

"Will do," I paused hesitantly. "I wanted to hate you, Alex, I really did. But I understand why she was with you."

Alex was quiet a moment and then spoke honestly, "The way I treated her and Charlie is the biggest regret of my life. I felt so guilty, but she has forgiven me, and I'll never understand why. I'm so grateful she has you now, I can see you appreciate her." He chuckled, "I will still fuck you up if you hurt her. My boy needs his mother."

"I would expect nothing less. Make sure you explain to Charlie why she couldn't come to see him before she left. I imagine we will be away for quite some time before she can see him again."

"Tell her I will," Alex said. "Good luck."

"May the Goddess bless you with abundant hunting, a warm fire and a fertile mate," I said, in the ancient wolf tradition of goodbye.

"And may She bestow that and more unto you," Alex said reverently and we hung up.

I pulled everyone together and told them we had to leave immediately. Work began fast and the cars were packed quickly. Felix and Angela went in David and Lawrence's car leaving Fawn and I alone.

My Fawn was holding back her tears, but I know her thoughts were on Charlie, knowing that she may not see him again for some time. She had been strong in front of the others, but now she was falling apart.

"You can cry, Inamorata. You don't have to hold your tears back," I said.

"I know," she said. "I'm so worried about everyone."

"I know." I slipped took her hand in mine, giving her a comforting squeeze. I wanted to tell her it will work out, that we will make it, but with our bond, she would know the hollowness of the promise. But we had done all we could to ensure that at least Charlie and Sierra would be safe. They would leave with Alice at first light, only to return when the turmoil was over.

"Your father terrifies me," she admitted.

"He won't hurt you, Fawn," I said. "Not in front of the court anyway. He won't get to you I swear it."

"But what if the plan doesn't work?" She asked. I knew I should have fought harder; we were all expecting too much of her.

"Fawn, we can stop right now," I said, perhaps with too much hope that she will agree. "You don't have to go through with it."

"I do, though," She said and by the set of her jaw, I could see how determined she was despite her fear. That was her true courage. She wasn't brave because she felt no fear, she was brave because she felt fear and acted anyway. "What about you? Who will protect you?"

"I will have Felix and my guard." I felt her body relax a bit at that. "You were scared for me?"

"Of course. I was. I mean Alfred could kill me, but you would still be a threat. If I were him, I'd kill both of us, followed swiftly by Lawrence and Felix. If he only kills me, he will have to deal with you, either now or soon after. He's better off killing both of us than just me."

I was shocked by her words. "Little Fawn, where does this ruthless streak come from?"

"It's not what I would do. It's what someone like him would do. He's obviously a narcissist, and he has had absolute power for over 500 years. It's almost no wonder he is how he is."

I couldn't disagree with her analysis, but I thought it was time to tell her more about my father. "Do you know why he hates humans?" I asked.

Fawn shook her head.

"He's over 800 years old meaning he survived the middle ages, a time of very high superstition. Many died, burned at the stake or shot with silver arrows. My grandparents were killed this way."

"Oh, that's awful. I'm sorry Henry."

I shrugged, "I never knew them obviously, but it seemed to have truly affected my father. Ever since he hated humans so much I think he avoided them or bided his time until he could strike back at humanity."

"It's horrible that his parents were killed, but that doesn't excuse him wanting to turn us into blood slaves."

"No, it doesn't. but it explains much of his behaviour. Especially towards my mother. I think he hated humans so much he didn't succumb to the mate bond. But, like human royalty, a bastard wouldn't do. So, he took her mated her and abandoned her as soon as he could."

"Well, now I know why you are so empathetic to humans."

"Most of us are Fawn. Especially the women and male mates like David. Which is why I need you to gain their support."

Fawn nodded, "I understand." Then she blushed, "It's stupid, I know, but I think I'm most afraid of having to exchange blood in front of everyone."

I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat. I wasn't sure how I felt about it either. I probably wasn't concerned for the reasons she was. The thought of my father seeing her being taken like that made me furious. "I know," I said gripping the steering wheel tight. "But we must. Even Lawrence and David had to do it."

"But it's such an intimate thing. It would be like having sex with you in front of the court."

"Even humans had that tradition for royalty for a time. Be thankful we also stopped doing that."

"Are you kidding? You used to have to fuck in front of everyone?"

I nodded. "My father got rid of that tradition. The only good thing I've seen him do. But the marking must be confirmed in front of everyone."

"Thank God for small mercies."

"Lilith," I reminded her. "The first Vampire. Kind of our patron saint." I smiled.

"Ok," Fawn said sarcastically. "Thank Lilith then. Although, other than bringing me you, I'm not too happy with her at the moment."

My Little Fawn continued to ask questions and reinforce what she had learned about court life on the way home. I didn't mind her babbling because it seemed to keep her occupied and not dwell on Charlie or her fears. However, as we approached home about two hours later, she was getting more and more anxious.

"Will we have to do the ceremony straight away?"

"Yes, Father will be in court until just before dawn. You will have just enough time to change into the dress and then we must begin."

"The dress?" Fawn asked.

"Yes," I said. It was supposed to be a surprise but, I thought it might help with her nerves. "I had my mother's dress altered to fit you. I wanted her to be there in some way and it will help with the plan. I don't have much of hers, just that and a book."

Fawn's eyes filled with tears and she remembered the image I had sent her of my younger self, crying into the dress. "That dress?" She asked.

I swallowed. We were too close to home to allow myself to be swept up in the emotions and my Lust. "Yes, Fawn. That dress."

"Oh Henry," she said. "You didn't have to do that. I know how much that means to you."

"You mean more to me than the dress, my love," I assured her. "And you will get to meet Jane."

Her voice was hard as she said, "Jane?"

"Yes, Jane, she runs my apartments for me and has been busy preparing them for you. She has been with me since I was a child, her mate Dante runs my personal guard. Between them and Felix and Angelica, they raised me."

"Well, then I can't wait to meet her," Fawn said and I suppressed a laugh at her jealousy.  She looked in the distance and saw the castle loom on the horizon, "Is that your home?"

"No, Little Fawn," I said, raising her hand to mine I kissed her knuckles. "It's our home."

Part 21

Tag List

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#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #vampire!henry #henry cavill vampire #henry cavill x ofc #vampire x human #vampire #werewolf #alexander skarsgard

[yazthebookish]

Let's talk about unhealthy emotional attachments

Hi everyone, well... here is the controversial post I spoke about before. I wouldn't consider it controversial but I know how divided the fandom is about Azriel's chapter but this is my own interpretation.

Before I go ahead and start, this is a post I wanted to write to share my point of view on this and not to get myself into arguments. This is a heads up that if you are on-board with Elriel, don't waste your energy reading a post you'll likely disagree with. I warned you, don't come over and rant I'm done with this kind of energy.

I'm gonna start right away by saying Azriel showcased his unhealthy attachment to "E" in ACOSF and his chapter.

That's a bold statement to make right? Well.. all will be explained.

Is Azriel fond of her? yes. Does he respect her? yes. Does he have feelings for her? yes.

If you're looking at it from a romantic lense, it's very easy to assume that character A is in love with Character B.

Having feelings for someone does not necessarily mean they are in love with them. Having feelings and loving someone are synonymous but they are definitely two different things.

Feelings are borne of attraction, fantasies, admiration, and feelings vary in its intensity. Sometimes you would develop intense feelings for someone believing that you are falling in love with them. It's easy to believe you are falling for the one when they are showing you only one facet of them, the one that you are attracted to.

I think the type of attraction Azriel feels is sexual bordering to romance kind of attraction.

Feelings can also lead to emotional attachments to someone. These attachments could be healthy and they also could be unhealthy and it all depends of where these emotions stem from: is it attraction? is it protectiveness? is it entitlement?

Azriel has no notion of what love or what it should be. He pines after Mor for 500 years, that's 5 centuries and within those centuries Mor has shown time and again her disinterest in him. I mean I don't know what some dialogue between them would've costed but she sent the signals to him, and he is not so dim-witted as to not realize those signals but he still chose to clutch onto her and kept holding into the hope that at some point the mating bond would click for them, which it never did.

His love for Mor bordered to obsession, or was indeed obsession if he held into a female that kept sending him signals of her disinterest and he waited and hopes for a mating bond to chain her to him.

Not saying that I do not love Azriel, and this shows how desperate he is to have love. Despite his sense of worthlessness, he still held onto hope that someone like Mor may reciprocate his feelings.

This wasn't true love. His feelings are borne of his attraction and desire for Mor. Nothing romantic happened between them in all those centuries so what kept him tied to Mor? I think the answer to that would be his fantasies.

He probably fantasized about the day Mor will accept him. He fantasized about the day the Mating Bond would click and he will finally claim her as his. He probably even planned their Mating Ceremony all on his head.

So, now that it's been highlighted that Azriel's romantic attraction can turn unhealthy that he would attach himself to a female and allow himself to live through the fantasies that will make him turn obsessive with the whole idea of being in love.

Again, this comes from his own desperation of finding love and someone to love him back.

This the first example of a unhealthy attachment where a female did not reciprocate his feelings.

Moving on to "E", to start of their part of this essay by saying that no, there was no stable romantic build-up to what we have now. Everything, for me at least, felt platonic. But it's also possible for something platonic to turn romantic.

To Azriel, he is someone that is understanding of another person's trauma. The person that was at their lowest during ACOWAR was "E". Knowing that this is not only a person living through their trauma but also someone that you have seen as kind and tender, you'll immediately felt a protective instinct towards them. Again, this does not stem from love as much as it is understanding the trauma and wanting to help that person who I find to be kind to feel better.

Let's skip ahead a little, and we know that Azriel and "E" are fond of one another. Azriel gave "E" Truth-teller as show of faith and to not allow them to feel helpless during an inevitable bloody war because she is the most inexperienced and vulnerable one in the group. It was a sweet gesture from Azriel's part.

But let me address something: despite them spending time with each other in ACOWAR, they do not really know one another even up to ACOSF. Azriel acts differently around her, he is being his best-self around her and that does not necessarily mean it's a good thing because he is not being true self because we know Azriel isn't the type that is polite and gives small smiles every now and then and some points he even comes off as stoic. Azriel usually as a sarcastic and snarky sense of humor and we don't see that side of him with "E".

It's pretty relatable no? when we are around someone we like we bring out our best side to them, especially like Az, we don't have much sense of self-worth so we try our best to let that good part shine. We seem to be one our best behavior but the fact is we are not being our true selves, we do not feel confident enough to be normal ourselves.

Azriel with "E" shows him his best side, but I doubt she ever saw his true side or him in all of his states within those two year. So, her attraction to him would come from the fact that she is seeing one facet of him and not the whole person. She is seeing the friend who spent time with her when she was down, her savior and protector, and a very attractive male. Yet, she does not know all of him and I'm not sure how she would react if she saw his other facets, especially the dark side of him. That is the side he is most insecure about and that is the side she never saw.

For Azriel, his lingering feelings for Mor are still there even in ACOFAS but he might've been starting to feel this attraction towards "E" because she is the other female that he was close to. He finds her sweet and kind and seeing his brothers with her sisters might've prompted him to entertain the idea that if Mor was not meant for him, then this female might be the one, even if she was mated to another male.

So, what is unhealthy about his attachment to "E"?

It's more evident in ACOSF and I will address them in the following points, these are scenes that can be easily taken as romantic but for me I feel like an exclamation mark pops atop my head.

And I am not invalidating these to prove a ship, this is my own interpretation so here goes:

• Azriel's reaction to learning that "E" and Nesta had a fight was exaggerated. Yes you read that correctly; the sisters had a fight so why are you being all grim about it especially when you do not know the context of what went on?

• Azriel's shadows ready to strike at Nesta while she was arguing with "E". The shadows weren't exactly protecting "E", they were reacting to Azriel's anger and that anger was directed at Nesta. A tad extreme won't you say?

• Azriel mentions it himself that between them there were nothing but fleeting glances and a brush of their fingers, there was nothing more until that Solstice night. If they had barely talked, If they hadn't gotten to know each other better then on what basis are their feelings coming from when they do not know each other all that well.

• Azriel even explains that he spends nights pleasuring himself to fantasies about her. Sexual attraction here is at its peak but is it sufficient enough to be called love? Is fantasies all he has to go by like he did with Mor? Let me clarify that sexual attraction is very normal when we like someone. But having feelings that are shaped by sexual fantasies while sentimental feelings are not that strong is not a good balance for love.

• What we got from his POV in his scene with her is that his carnal desires stood out more than his sentimental feelings for her. You'd really want to understand how a character feels for this person and seeing only the carnal part of it is a red flag. After two years, you'd want a confirmation of whether this character actually feels true love or it's another case of obsessing over the idea of it rather than the reality of it.

• He is desperate for love but another red flag was his entitlement to her. Yes she got you a gift but didn't get one for her mate. Yes her mate in your opinion who was nothing but courteous with her is unworthy of her. Yes, she is the last sister which two of them ended up with your brothers so it's only logical you get her too. This a very wrong way of thinking. It hurts that he is desperate but his approach to it is wrong.

• The fact that Azriel was willing to get into a Blood Duel with Lucien without considering the impact of "E"'s mate death on her and how it would devastate her is another redflag. He is more than 500+ years old he knows all about the mating bond and it's workings. Even Feyre and freaking Nesta herself were worried about Lucien dying when he embarked on his journey to find Vassa and were worried what his death would do to "E".

• Another point I do not want to miss addressing is Azriel feeling stiffened and wasn't happy about Helion asking about Mor knowing about their liaisons. Isn't this supposed to be a male that moved on? let's keep in mind that he never got closure and part of his sense of worthlessness and insecurities comes from the fact that his love was not reciprocated.

• Last point would be his whole "to hell with the consequences" attitude would harm him and harm his family and Court. His recklessness blinded him from thinking logically.

This is my own interpretation and I've come to the conclusion that: Azriel is not at a good place and especially not in the romance area. Many of his actions scream redflag and this is to show that he is a male that had endured a lot, he has deep unhealed wounds, his sense of worthlessness and insecurities are tearing him apart and he is overwrought by his emotions.

It's easy to point out Azriel's unhealthy attachments as of now that he is not a healed male nor does he know what true love should actually be. Same thing could be said for "E". It could be that they actually have feelings for each other but it doesn't mean they're compatible and will be happy on the long-term. It could be that they are rebounding since both are moving on from past love interests. There is no balance between them, "E" seems to thrive on Az's attention and affection which he had shown from the very beginning while Az is content to grab onto any shards of attention from her and treat her like the untouchable pure flower she is to him.

That's what always bothered me about them. They see one side of each other yet do not know and see one another as a whole especially with Az showing one side of him to "E", for two years she had only known that side that gave her small smiles and helps her and not the side that displays his sarcastic humor, banters with others or the rage and iciness from coming from a mission or a torture session. If you consider Feysand and Nessian, each had saw the different layers of who they are as a person before they fell in love. When SJM puts several redflags there, you know she's sending a signal saying this is not what it seems, pay close attention to the signs.

I hope I've summed this up well.. sometimes when I write these long essays it feels like I get lost midway. Again, this is my own interpretation and I understand why many felt uncomfortable with his chapter and just saw it as a redflag.

I'm tagging this in the Azriel tag only since it is a very divided topic among the fandom, again, if you disagree with everything I said please spare yourself and spare me from the long-ass arguments that will likely happen. Allow me to have my own opinion and express it as I have every right to.

#azriel #my post