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#IM SOOO MENTALLY ILL ABT THEM
pansy-picnics · 2 years
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ugjggngg thinking abt. doug n dylas. and how they always get done so DIRTY
like everyone only ever talks abt the homoerotic fighting and the tension and like yea its funny but its not ABT that. like they dont even have a logical reason to hate each other bro they’re just gay and emotionally constipated
bc its not abt the aggressive tension its abt the deep similarities the shared tragedy of losing ur past. youll never get to show him your childhood home or introduce him to your parents etc etc. that life u once had is gone and there’s nothing u can do about it but you CAN build a new life and find a new home in him and you can build your own family here TOGETHER.
its about overcoming when u feel like you’ve lost everything and being able to make a new life with someone who truly understands you better than anyone else. yes they fight over what to eat for dinner every single night but they are stupid husbands and they are so deeply in love
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rodrickheffley · 16 days
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good lord my mental health has been bad lately
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puppygirldanhowell · 1 year
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vent complain right now release your inner hater WHERE'S YOUR ANGER? RISE! RISE! RISE! RI
LSBSLAHDKE AH UHMB HHHHHH
LIKE FR OR ABT DUMB SHIT????
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gayspock · 2 years
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im going 2 have a meltdown over applying for jobs <3
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thewickerking · 2 years
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OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)
#updates on my last posts tags: i dont like actually see spiders i just see movement out of the corner of my eye that isnt there and then my#brain always categorizes it as spiders and its nearly never spiders but it makes me rlly on edge and scared 4 no reason#itll just like be a little black blur out of focus (when theres genuinely nothing there other than like. my white sink or bathtub) and my#brain is like 'ah oh no spider' and my pulse quickens and i get scared and think its gonna kill me cause im sooo normal btw#i joke abt being scared of spiders n stuff but theres genuinely terrifying to me and have given me super bad panic attacls :#anyways.#erm abt the last thing abt Bad Sounds ik its probably a symptom of something but i havent heard of anything that sounds right except maybe#overstimulation but very rarely feel overstimulated im usually very understimulated and its not that theres too many sounds its just theres#one really bad one that sets me off like weird random things like snoring and certain dripping faucets and breathing and like. certain ways#people brush their hands together when they have something on them but they do it for too long and the sound is horrible but subtle#and also certain times people are tapping against fabric like. stuff that ppl overlook and u can barely hear but it drives me off the walls#like idk what common thread they have other than NORMAL EXISTING HUMAN SOUNDS but like. idk if pain is the right word to describe it but#its genuinely something physically pain adjacent like. tension. like when u pull a rubber band super far apart and it cant fucking#stay like that like cmon it hurts it needs to snap please let it out. but letting it out is like. erm. not good and if the sound doesnt end#after u let it out like it didnt do anything it just goes back. ough idk idk idk. i used to not tell anyone this stuff cause i mostly did l#it at night and i think ppl will say im exaggerating and faking cause they dont witness it and my mother doesnt do it i think so its not an#acceptable form of mental illness /s but like genuinely i dont feel like im allowed to mention it but whatever!!!#anyways this is rlly long if u read it. hi. i love u. i hope u have a good day/#night also hmu if u know what whatever this is called i wanna talk about it in therapy and i think my words dont feel professional enough#ik u shouldnt have to act professional in therapy bur erm. i feel like i need to in some ways its complicated#.ares
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annytheseal · 2 years
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thwre has been something liek. wrong with my brain recently
#ive turned into a tiktok white girl ☹️#im all like. aesthetic drinks and mental stability and colcored markers for my notes#i woked out both yesterday and today and am probably going to make it a thing. what is wrong with me#i started knitting?????????!?! I HAVE A SKINCARE ROUTINE. wtf#at least im still likw. a little unhinged. and gay . two important factors#but there's been umm an upset in the world i think. i need ro start talking abt block men more maybe that will fix me#im soooo excited for this mcc. GREEN!!!!!! im so excited genuinely i might break my streak of watching [redacted] every time#so i can watch foolish. like i think i might do it . or at least watch the first game or two#also i didn't pay attention to anyone else on that team besides foolish and tina so um. ill have to look at that again but !!!!#aurr its sapnap and michael okay !! yeah theyre cool but. likeee. foolish and tina.#i kid you not i SCREAMED. when i saw that team. likw im mentally ill but i think this shows my level of mental illness. im going to use thi#s to get me through finals season i think#i looove foolishs pregame streams dont get me wrong it's a tradition to watch them but likeeeee. likeeeeeeee. hes in mcc. im just so#!!!!!!!!!!!#ALSO. punz and gem. PUNZ AND GEM. im going to have to look at the reat of that team too but PUNZ. AND GEM. like im losing it im so excited#ahubble and cub!!!!!!! they rly went yeah we'll mix and match ! punz can go w them 👍 and i am SO glad they did i want more team mixing in#the future#SPEAKING OF MIXING AND MATCHING. oli and tommy and purpled and captain sparklez. 10/10 best team im sooo. like !!!! likeee!!!!#okay done mcc ranting. this is going to be the best mcc ever tho . and now that foolish is here i can root for him being on teams w certain#people and !!!!!!!!!!!!!! im soooo sosos o so so excited for this. like i wasnt expecting it honestly but this is so cool and great and i#gen cannot wait for it#like idk if im conveying my energy wnough but im soooo. im like vibrating waiting for this . okay. tahts it. idek how i got on this train#of thought but im just going to atop writing tags or ill be writing forever#o/
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hnrye · 1 year
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WATCHED THE NEW TOH EP !!!!!!!
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seaquestions · 2 days
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girl help im thinking abt my ocs again.
i feel like i need to give blake more hardships beyond the rookie year concussion bcos compared to how i treat conor, he rly is the favoured child of god (me)… i kinda wanna say he never wins the cup his whole career no matter how amazing he is but that makes me sad bcos he’s my number 1 baby and i want it for him. i think maybe the pines win the cup while he’s super injured (again) and can’t be there. and he has to live with that disappointment in himself… i think maybe blake just keeps getting hurt all the time lol. my lil bad luck omen. “i love him sooo much” i say as i slowly break every bone in his body. and then meanwhile conor is gonna be living in hell on earth with the weight of the world on his shoulders rawdogging his mental illness all the while… until he finally requests a trade and makes it all the way w/ his new team, with management that treats his physical and mental health better…. Conor Will Go To Therapy! for his anxiety and various other issues! they will no longer be dismissed or taken lightly! REAL!!
i also kinda want them to play together at some point but i also dont think that’s ever happening. just all star games probably. they have to live their own lives and find their own identities beyond ‘im really good at hockey and im obsessed with my rival’.
hhuauaghhh….. this isnt even anything im gonna be writing… this is future shit, sequel shit… i wanna keep writing but i keep editing the first chapter cos. it has to make sense!! i need to keep a timeline!! switching out the linemates, changing it to an away game, also blake’s a winger now when i started writing he was a centre…. 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️
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heinrix · 5 months
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people you'd like to know better tag ♥
was tagged by @maxthetruman tysm <333
three ships: the ones im currently rotating constantly rn are oz/enver (ofc, they’re a staple in my brain), samael/konrad (a fungus taking over my brain fr), & one i haven’t really talked abt but have had in the back of my brain for sooo long now, osmond/miguel. my oc x canon swag will never be defeated
last film: i need to watch more movies :( but the last one i watched was videodrome. david cronenberg movies save me
currently watching: im still getting through exu: calamity and fantasy high, idk when of if i’ll ever finish them lol (<- is trying to resist the urge to watch a crown of candy again)
currently reading: the night haunter by guy haley. im such a slow reader but it’s everything i want in a book: father issues, complex sibling relationships, cannibalism, & the most mentally ill man in fiction (konrad curze). also it’s incredibly well written going through the most important moments of konrad’s life through flashbacks & his monologues at the corpse statue he created to look like his father
currently consuming: warhammer 40k stuff mostly, technically 30k since im going through primarch lore and horus heresy stuff…there is so much lore and i rlly wanna read the horus heresy books but there’s like 50 of them😭save me audiobooks
currently craving: my friend and i are going to this mexican restaurant in a couple hours so im craving that
never know who to tag for these but uhh @deaths @astarionz @eastgaysian @devonrubinart @baneschosen :3
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meowsticmarvels · 3 months
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im curious. who are your fav characters from each mainline persona game that you have played 🤔🤔 (take this as an invitation to ramble about them)
YIPEEEEEEEE here we go will be long so im hiding it under a readmore again. also since you said mainline im not including toshiro or eri but you Know...... im abnorma, abt them
i have NOT played p1 and i've just barely started p2is (though ive watched snippets of someone elses's playthrough) but i will say. based on my limited knowledge i rly like hidehiko, ayase, naoya, tatsuya, jun, eikichi, yukino, maya, and lisa
p3 and p4 are difficult bc theyre the ones im the most autistic abt and the main entire casts as a whole are comforts for me. but anyways. going to talk about p3 first Yes I Will Include SLs too. im abnormal. top 3 main insaners for p3 though are akihiko, yukari, and junpei. for me
makoto/minato sooo so gender envy. im obsessed with his design a lot. his character i do also like hes a little goofy and so mecore but mainly his design is something i love a lot
same with kotone. also love how she has a sort of distinct personality that you can tell with slight dialogue changes that her counterpart doesnt say. shes rly real. love reload but i miss her...
as stated yukari's one of my favs. she didnt Use to be (i did like her but Not as much) but she's slowly become one and man. i love that silly girl. her haters will not survive the winter actually. it does piss me off though because like. yeah shes not perfect no character rly is but she's a traumatized mentally ill teenage girl with a dead dad and a neglectful mom cut her some slack maybe? god forbid women do anything. idk. but im obsessed with her. her character is actually so interesting to me and not a lot of people talk about it? like her whole fear of death causing issues with summoning her persona like at the beginnning, her dad being involved with the kirijo groups shit, how she puts on a cheerful front but is actually deeply really lonely :(, her kinda playful insult friendship with junpei (deep down they do care abt eachother. i wish that was explored more. i found a rly good fic abt it once.) and etc etc. idrk what to say but shes sooo. i also love how she initially HATES mitsuru and is super jealous of her and then. Well. gay tension is real. anyways shes a transfem lesbian to me btw. yukamitsu ftw
junpei's also become one of my favs. somehow. in a similar vein to yukari in that he wasn't initially my main fav character but i think his character's also pretty interesting and has. a lot of unexplored potential. he's very silly and i love him for that a lot but something i don't see many people talk about is like. his Issues. like yeah hes silly but he's also got some fucked up self-worth issues!!! remember the scene on 5/9 where he kinda gets really upset and goes off on his own and stuff. for example. like i think him being imperfect and having these moments where he's NOT cheerful and goofy all the time and actually deeply really jealous of you because he feels that fighting's all he's good for and he's not worth much else is what makes him interesting. do you get it. like him being tbe silly funny guy isn't all he is as a person yk!!!!! also as far as characterization I point a lot to the scene where yukari's more than willing to go confront the people in the alley while junpei's worried, or scene near the end of the game where yukari teases junpei and he snaps at her, confessing that while he doesn't show it he really is terrified. they all are, at that point. yk what I mean? also people don't acknowledge his trauma with his father enough (maybe because it's only really discussed at all in femc's route... his SL is so good but not enough ppl see it... BUR YEAH did not think I'd go off on a tangent about junpei fucking iori tonight but he's real. hashtag brokeback tartarus. also he's an adhder to me. (oh yeah also want to point out this line in his SL where he says "maybe I have anxiety or something". yeah. that's a line!)
akihiko fucking sanada. ohhhh man. this guy. where do i even START. he's so so crazy like what if your local high school upperclassman boxing champion guy was also really gay for his dying childhood friend and autistic as hell and also traumatized. and he's doing boxing in the first place to overcompensate because the death of his sister made him fear losing anyone else again snd he needs to feel like he has power. he needs control. yk? like this guy made me insane for like several months straight in 2023 and he still makes me ill. to this day. as you can probably tell by my distaste for people seeing yukari and junpei at face value you can probably gather that I hate the protein jokes and i Do. he said it like. Once in p3. it never rly was funny????? and what they did in spinoffs esp p4a to just make him look like a gym rat and nothing more makes me upset bc of the REASON he's obsessed with fighting. he's not just a dumb jock (he also isn't dumb lol he canonically scores very high on his exams) he's overworking himself because feelings of self doubt from trauma have caused him to feel the need to overcompensate so he never loses anyone again. you know? it would've been interesting to see him relapse in p4a if theyd actually done it well. like he doesnt rly give himself time or room to grieve in game (theres rhat onw scene on 10/5 and then he barely talks about it again. man i wish it was developed more...) so realizing that grieving isnt a linear process that he can just repress for a long time and even years after it can still hurt would go INSANE. but no they just turned him into i love protein joke number 20. okay!!! (im very angry) thinking about when my non persona friend after hearing me explain some of the plot described p3 as like a greek tragedy because like. damn. he and shinji were doomed from the start with personas like polydeuces and castor huh. anyways. yeah. continuing writing now that i've watched october 4th in reload AND akihiko's breakdown as a reuslt and i wanna scream and cry and throw up that will be for another post but ooh man it mad eme cry like 3 times. and I KNOEW WHAT HAPPENS. THEYRE SOOOOOOOOOO if you know me im an insane akishinji truther. im just. i wanna talk abt other charactrs so ill stop here but always ask me about akihiko + akishinji + ships i like in general. i am really normal. oh btw transmasc akihiko is forever real to me. also he's autistic and a ptsder. to me (tbf what persona character Doesnt have some form of truama but like. this guy in particular). up there with my highest blorbos
i dooont wanna go on for too long abt every other character in p3 so ill keep this next part short and sweet but if u wanna hear me talk more abt any of them. feel free to. starting with fuuka i love he rmy transfem autistic girlie who has every disease. i also love mitsuru a lot who i Wish had people acknowledge her deeper aspects more. like. she was experimented on and also very sheltered and also a little bit of a girlfail. shes not fully the girlboss you all say she is shes also just a teenage girl!!!!!!!!!! koromaru can do no wrong hes forever the best. i love that dog. ken makes me so so sad he is just a kid!!! what the hell!!!!!! :(. and oh man. shinji. guy who is so wracked with guilt. guy that is dying no matter what happens. guy that dies in his lover's arms
as far as non-sees characters. i rly like strega. esp jin and chidori. dont think abt them enough. also as far as SLs i like keisuke, hidetoshi, bunkichi and mitsuko, kazushi, yuko, and etc etc...i need to see rio and saoris links too they look real. oh also i LOVE ryoji
p4 time !!!!!!
again gonna cut this short so i can actually Fit it all in one post. but wow. i do like all of the IT so so much but im just focusing on my favs. anyways i love yu so much his autistic swagger esp in the animation is amazing. like he is not a "chad" he's just an autistic teenager. ok. also the animation broke me when nanako gets kidnapped he sounds fucking distraught there. love when people delve into yu's issues also bc hes a bit fucked up but Man. ouch. just like me fr tho
i love yosuke in a similar way to why I like junpei because he's kind of a loser /pos snd has some insane issues that his shadow delves into that are Kind of Insane for the FIRST shadow of the game. like ok damn. i really do love his social link in general tho his was the first one I maxed out in my (unfinished because i didn't want to finish it) p4g playthrough so!!!!! many things wrong with him and also the lgbt community has forgiven yosuke hanamura. also similarly to junpei he's adhd as hell. souyo ftw
naotos probably my fav p4 character I think which is Pretty Painful Sometimes. sometimes I need to kill both other persona fans and atlus if ykwim. but anyways i hc him as transmasc for one thing but also if atlus weren't cowards and actually made his story abt rhat it would've hit so hard. his shadow in general is often overlooked apart from that bc what about the part where he talks about being mistreated by others and feeling utterly alone and not allowing himself to act like a kid!!!! it fucks me up!!! he's also super autism btw like god damn. but YEAH point is I love naoto so much and i hate how both some fans and atlus tjemself treat him because his whole arc and shadow had the potential to be super compelling
apart from who i listed above i do like the rest of the IT so much they're such silly friends (i love you chie i love you yukiko i love you kanji i love you rise i love you teddie.). can't think of any SLs off the top of my head that were crazy but I do like daisuke and kou. OH ALSOO the dojimas..... 😢💧😢😢💧 love them
p5 time :3 I'm into it less so than p3 or p4 but Still
yusuke's my favorite p5 character probably. i domt know what it is apart from the common trend of my favs being autistic as hell (see: akihiko and naoto) but he's like. such a fucked up guy. he's traumatized. he loves art. something is deeply wrong with him. obsessed with this gug
i also do like ren/akira, ryuji, futaba, and also mishima (unfortunately. but in my defense there is something deeply wrong with him slash positive). i don't know a lot abt all of p5's confidants but i like iwai I think.... this reminded me I need to make more progress in p5 what the hell. i miss you futaba (i haven't even got to her palace yet im still on kaneshiros LOL)
but YEAH! thank you for asking!!! from the ones I've played my top favs are akihiko + naoto + yusuke respectively so👍👍👍 loved answering this :3 if u have any thoughts on a particular character feel free to ask and ill elaborate :3
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kachimera · 4 months
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Honestly, I've been referring to N!Trevor as Trey most of the time. You have no idea how salty I still am about the Trevorcard thing. Like, i don't have issues when it's the Main timeline, but there's no chemistry with N!Trevor and N!Alucard.
N!Trevor had potential, but it got squandered into the punching bag for the Girl Boss™ and the Boss Twink™ (Yes that is an actual thing I've heard people call N!Alucard)
Trey sounds good it's a fine nickname
And yea! Losing a tag to mid content is surely. Annoying :) rip cv tag
It's kinda funny bc i do remember reading plenty of n!trevorcard fics back when i still liked the show in s2 and im realizing now that, most of what i liked abt the ship was just fanon. A lot of fics often change their dinamic to a) Make n!Alu less of an asshole and more of a suave smug cool but broody guy, b) make Trey be cool w Alu's previous assholery, treating it as teasing (and believe me if a friend told me his bf used to call his dead fam mentally ill hoarders i'd be concerned abt domestic abuse). And c) a lot of it is Trey bullying time anyways but oh its sooo cute n wholesome without a hint of irony. IMPORTANT Not saying you cant write toxic couples with tons of bullying <3 (Celiakado best sorrow era ship) but the way its done and framed simply gets me the wrong way. There are also some fics with a more show canon accurate dynamic where both do got tension n vitriol (but also the hots for eachother bc this is male leads shipping) but my point is, the sort of deep mutual trust bond that most of the nfcv fandom believes in is mostly collective hallucination (and from what i know in s4 they made a trephacard reunion scene so. Fanservice wins lol)
Meanwhile canon Trevorcard ship is simply. Well just look at their Grimoire of Souls dialogues. Or even small details in SotN. You dont need to get told Alu n Trevor deeply respect n appreciate eachother bc you can see it and experiment it. The them :)
And i'll be honest; a lot of talented writers n artists do wonderful nfcv fanworks n analysis, but vry hard toget into those for me, bc the source material is bad and keeps leeching of cv like some sort of parasitic mushroom puppeting a corpse in a mokery of a loved one.
Anyways. Boss twink. Im taking psychic damage sbfjsjxakdk
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Thots on Kevin? (I miss my fucked up boy)
I also miss him its ok if we close our eyes and hope really hard-
But i have so many thoughts.
I really like how, hes like messed up and they keep those traits, like they never change him to make those traits rlly go away, but you get more info and learn little things about him. Its just neat i like how he doesnt Change, but you still kinda get endeared to him!
Another thing is, i know why people ship him and carlos, because of the DOW Ep with them, but personally i think he's just bpd-ing, expecially because its not like, dangerous or unhealthy either. He just gets sad when Carlos leaves him. Fp leaving would make him sad. I personally see it as carlos is one of his /p fps!
Grips the plot point of The Smiling god rebuilding him whenever he dies vs Huntokar replacing cecil. Thats a whole nother post tho.
I saw a post abt this a while ago and idk it stuck with me which was, Cecil unlearned/questions the things that were drilled into him growinf up, because of Carlos, who is a scientist and therefor questions Everything, but Kevin Will not, because Charles is a theologist, aka he studies God, aka the smiling god. He'll never unlearn/question it because Charles wont.
I really just love perma smiling character designs, or characters who are smiling until something Really hits them hard. Idk im sure theres a mental illness/trauma reason behind that kne but!!
And to finish off!!! In the episode where we hear from Pre-Strex Kevin, i couldn't help but think, When Strex was taking over night vale but they fought back and WON, was he envious? His town tried to as well but they failed, and probably assumed it couldnt be done, so when Night Vale did it, how did he feel? Did it hurt him? Does he even Remember Desert Bluffs fighting back?
Anyways thag ks all for now ive been writing for 20 mins and i need to get home from work! Ty for askimf tho hes sooo special to me:) there r more thoughts abt him tho
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rt-lots · 6 months
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Joining in on the Ian and Rammy ask train… 🌂✏️ (and 🍎 specifically for Ian!)
TW for a fair bit of suicide talk!!!
umbrella - i assume this doesnt need an answer for both of them, bcuz they belong 2 the same story. i imagine ian and rammys story being a vidya game, and i guess itd b a psychological horror? which feels like, pretentious to say but the main scaries of the story are how much ians life sucks and he wants 2 die. so... i think itd count. thats all overarching stuff tho... most of ian n rammys time spent together is lightheared, i think. theyre two dudes hanging out and one of them is slowly coming to terms with the fact his suicidal thoughts won. whatever genre that is
pencil - WAHHH it depends a lot of the time... ian and rammy have definitely made a big resurgence in my brain recently (past month) bc im 18 and can post bout em, but also just cuz i love them sooo much and want to chew on them constantly. id say i write abt/draw them pretty frequently tho!! i doodle them on my school work and in notebooks a lot and they have some of the bigger galleries on my toyhouse lawl. i dont write much directly for their universe, but ive typed... many paragraphs to my friends just braindumping the shit i think about them. so, yeah, less often than id like, but theyre up there in my priorities of ocs :3
apple (for ian) - GRAHHHHHHHHHHH u dont know what demons uve unleashed w this. i already twed this post for suicide but im gonna move this part under the cut bc mentioning ians dad specifically ties a lot into the suicide aspect of the story
OKAY SO. ians family consists of his mom, sister, and him. his dad was in the picture when he was a little kid, like early elementary age, but ditched after some time. his relationship with both parents was relatively normal, they definitely couldve done a better job raising him, but they were never intentionally hurtful nor did they scar him at all. (well, correction, his MOM didnt scar him at all)
after ians dad left, though, his side of the family still kept in touch... they gave very flimsy reasonings for his fathers absence, why he couldnt make it to holidays, why he wasnt saying all these things directly, etc. it kept things strained and tense as the family knew things were being kept from them but never got to know why. the last interaction ian ever had w his dads side of the family was on his 18th birthday, where his uncle gifted him a silver handgun with his name carved into the handle. it was a hollow attempt to connect with ian, a display of violent masculinity that ian would later use to try and take his own life.
i dont have it fully figured out what this *means* for ians character, but its something i go insane about. ians only memories of his dad are him doing stereotypical masculine dad things w him, like fishing. maybe he didnt interact w ian ass if he was his child, but if he was his son, and that improper socialization is part of the reason he hates himself- why the gun is what kills him. but... i dunno really. ians social anxiety, addiction, and general collapsing in on himself are cuz of a life time of mental illness that went unchecked until he successfully isolated himself to the point no one *could* care, not just cuz daddy give him gun.
okay! that is NOT what u asked at all but now u know it. hehehe. of course ian and rammys story is a big wip forever so excuse me for any side tangents and/or general plot points w loose ends
but! as for his actual relationships w family (ill include sister since his relationship w mom isnt rlly fleshed out yet):
he and his mom havent spoken in 6 years, nor have he and his sister. he slowly faded out of their lives when he moved away, partly out of a subconscious desire to isolate and partly due to just not having the social confidence or energy to maintain regular communication w his family. his mom is the first person he talks to when he escapes his Puter, and she's his rock in his remaining months of recovery. shes very underdeveloped as a character atm, but what is certain is she tries her hardest to understand her sons struggles and support him, offering to pay for therapy for him. ian loves his mommy lalala
ian and his sister are... dddifferent. ian also had an average relationship w his sister, but shes a lot more upfront with him when it comes to talking about how his 6 year absence effected her than their mom. their mom, while wanting her children to seek help for their respective struggles, doesnt really want to actively talk about those things with them. shes terrified of saying the wrong thing, and it doesnt help that she doesnt even have a clue what *to* say. ians sister, though, isnt afraid to tell him "hey man we fucking missed you. your absence hurt a lot because i didnt have any friends either, and i wish we couldve had eachother. jackass" post main-story they are friendly and hang out. during his time w rammy, ian does talk about his thoughts on his sister before he left, that being that shes a "crazy bitch"... family <3
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meltamorphosis · 1 year
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NIKI BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOES
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CONGRATULATIONS KADE U BEAT ALL MY ENSTARS MUTUALS TO IT !!!
favorite thing about them: AUUAUAU WHERE DO I EBEN BEGIN !! i love him i love how silly he is i love how he is unthinkingly kind and so simpleminded yet just so genuinely Good its the best kind of character for REAL adn he doesnt even realize it !! he makes me so happy
least favorite thing about them: his self-esteem is so so low :( i consider it to be very important to his character so its not like "ooughh this shouldnt exist >:((" it Should exist . i just want him to eventually learn how to be nicer to himself
favorite line: ive decided to go with just menu voice lines for this prompt when it comes to enstars characters bc otherwise id go insane and reread every story nikis ever been in . but anyway
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auuuuruauuuuuuu hes so sweeetttt hes so kind and considerate DOES HE KNOW HOW LOVED HE IS?
brOTP: niki w all the bees!! also niki & tetora adn niki & hiiro go soooo hard
OTP: take a wild guess buddy (hint: it starts with an h and ends with an imeniki)
nOTP: i dont really have one for niki? i dont think i have any ship i actively hate for him! im very open :3
random headcanon: i olve his low ponytail i think its great its iconic . But what if he ties it up into a high ponytail whenever hes cooking . what if he ties it up into a bun, even. take my hand. i will show you the wonders
unpopular opinion: i feel like its only unpopular by virtue of the afct that people just Dont Read Enough About Niki to care abt this the way i do but as a fat person . Really do not like the fat niki hc i see people use sometimes. i feel like it has Good Intentions but i do see it as an erasure of his disability - you can make any other character fat ujst perhaps not the guy who canonically has such horrifically high metabolism that he has nearly died from it
song i associate with them: ok well ive gotten permission to kin assign him to ai no material . omre like a song directed At him than a song about His feelings specifically but it gives me niki vibes ok!! (sorry for only linking a no-sub version . go read the lyrics somewhere else im just Desperately avoidign looking at them out of fear of it activating my mental illness)
favorite picture of them: SOOO HARD TO CHOOSE THIS IS EVIL . BUT OK LOOK HE IS LITERALLY THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD LOOK AT HIM !!!!
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idyllic-affections · 7 months
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🌻 its cruel of anyone to push someone away from their own culture just cuz they dont fit the "standards" or whatever other shit 💔 ohhh u dont know the language— stfu first of all learning a language is hard. im bilingual and its hard for ME to learn any other language. i had german and spanish in school and i simply could not learn any of them and same goes for any other language i tried to learn on my own!! i learned nothing in the end even tho ive been learning english since first primary, meaning i already should have some experience in learning a new language. but i dont. and second of all no one should ever demand proof from anyone that they are a part of this culture or whatever like!!
it’s not only annoying but also fucked up that people have the sheer audacity to set stupid requirements for OTHER PEOPLE'S identity. one's identity can be so hard and sensitive of a topic and having someone try to police u in this matter, try to tell u that no sorry u dont know the language/culture so u cant call urself that— i genuinely have no respect for people who act like this
and third of all idk man if someone came to me and said "hi i want to learn more about poland and the culture because i have polish family" (because suurprise!! im polish too!!!!) id be more than happy to tell them everything i know. even if i might not be the best knowledge source AHAJSJDKDK they dont know polish? or anything abt poland?? they just learned their family is polish??? it simply doesnt matter this person wants to learn more about themselves and im more than happy to cheer on them and hope that theyll learn everything they want. and that theyll never feel excluded out of something they deserve to have place in
this got a little long but as u can tell i got very passionate about this topic 😭😭😭 it annoys me so hard how unhuman some people can be
SOO TRUE it's so invalidating ESPECIALLYYYYY when it's always other latino or hispanic people telling me. bro please. i am doing my best here 🙏🙏
i tried for years to learn spanish and it NEVER clicked in my brain. i know basic spanish and basic french (i had to take a foreign language class a few years back so i took french 1) that's it. Please. learning a language takes so much practice and patience and the issue with learning spanish is that my pronounciation will inherently be more "white" because erm. yeahh. english is the only language i've ever spoken fluently. and for some reason, there are many native spanish speakers think it's funny to make fun of mispronounciations? so now i'm scared to practice because of that. 🫶 it's not cute or funny and it's never been in intended an affectionate way. but i am also mentally ill and neurodivergent so that probably doesn't help AJKSFBJSLSHNFM idk man but it is NOT "all in good fun" it's EMBARRASSING!!!!!
IT'S GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATING why should i have to prove my ancestry to you? like. first of all that's really none of your business and second of all i literally do not have to prove anything?!?!?!?! no-one does?!?!?!?! no-one is somehow any less of their heritage simply because they don't know much about it. literally. it is so upsetting why can we not just let people live peacefully fr.
SOOO REALL i need to ask about it again because my maternal family is generally very open about this kind of thing, and it's easy to communicate with them because there is no language barrier between us. i would love to know more about myself. because my culture is something i deserve to have a part in, you know? it's literally in my blood. it is something i always was and always will be, and i feel like i have a right to want to learn about it.
nooo it's okay!!!! i completely get it. i feel like it's becoming very common for people to be less and less human. and it makes sense, given... you know. politics and everything lately. not to be political /lh but there is just a little too much hate being spread and i dislike that so much. many people have forgotten how to be kind and it's just???? very sad and upsetting.
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sanchoyo · 10 months
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ugh im so sad watching other ppl prep and announce theyll be doing art fight this year. bc i KNOW i dont have the mental energy/time I'd need.....I rly do love doing art trades tho. i just never do and its so sad to me that back in the dA hayday art trades were sooo common and now its like. i only ever see them around art fight time and i feel weird asking other artists to do them any other time and asking abt that in general. its so painful being awkward when I talk to ppl and busy at the same time </3 cries
maybe when im less busy ill make a more formal announcement/post asking who would like to do a trade, like on my insta or smth bc other artists seem to interact a bit more on there? 🤔
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