#its genuinely something physically pain adjacent like. tension. like when u pull a rubber band super far apart and it cant fucking

[thewickerking]

OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)

#updates on my last posts tags: i dont like actually see spiders i just see movement out of the corner of my eye that isnt there and then my #brain always categorizes it as spiders and its nearly never spiders but it makes me rlly on edge and scared 4 no reason #itll just like be a little black blur out of focus (when theres genuinely nothing there other than like. my white sink or bathtub) and my #brain is like 'ah oh no spider' and my pulse quickens and i get scared and think its gonna kill me cause im sooo normal btw #i joke abt being scared of spiders n stuff but theres genuinely terrifying to me and have given me super bad panic attacls : #anyways. #erm abt the last thing abt Bad Sounds ik its probably a symptom of something but i havent heard of anything that sounds right except maybe #overstimulation but very rarely feel overstimulated im usually very understimulated and its not that theres too many sounds its just theres #one really bad one that sets me off like weird random things like snoring and certain dripping faucets and breathing and like. certain ways #people brush their hands together when they have something on them but they do it for too long and the sound is horrible but subtle #and also certain times people are tapping against fabric like. stuff that ppl overlook and u can barely hear but it drives me off the walls #like idk what common thread they have other than NORMAL EXISTING HUMAN SOUNDS but like. idk if pain is the right word to describe it but #its genuinely something physically pain adjacent like. tension. like when u pull a rubber band super far apart and it cant fucking #stay like that like cmon it hurts it needs to snap please let it out. but letting it out is like. erm. not good and if the sound doesnt end #after u let it out like it didnt do anything it just goes back. ough idk idk idk. i used to not tell anyone this stuff cause i mostly did l #it at night and i think ppl will say im exaggerating and faking cause they dont witness it and my mother doesnt do it i think so its not an #acceptable form of mental illness /s but like genuinely i dont feel like im allowed to mention it but whatever!!! #anyways this is rlly long if u read it. hi. i love u. i hope u have a good day/ #night also hmu if u know what whatever this is called i wanna talk about it in therapy and i think my words dont feel professional enough #ik u shouldnt have to act professional in therapy bur erm. i feel like i need to in some ways its complicated #.ares