#ID came out during a time in which my focus was not on RE at all

[sapphire-weapon]

am i really about to fucking sit here on my day off and rewatch fucking infinite darkness

lord help me

#it occurred to me that i remember almost nothing of ID #i remember the ending really well because it pissed me off because leon's justification for what he was doing made no fucking sense #and i remember the blink and you'll miss it ashley cameo #and i remember that scene in that shitty apartment where leon hauls off and fucking murders a man #(well no he lived but for A GOOD CHUNK OF TIME the show leads you to believe he's dead) #because my heart rate kicked up and my breath caught in my throat #because that was the single hottest thing i've ever seen leon do in this entire fucking series #and it took me by surprise because like #ID came out during a time in which my focus was not on RE at all #and hadn't been for like #YEARS AND YEARS by that point #and now suddenly out of nowhere i'm sitting there fanning myself #and looking up at my monitor with my eyes wide and a scandalized little smile as my jaw hangs open #just all like #'mr. kennedy you behave yourself *i am a lady*' #but that's it that's all i remember about infinite darkness LMAO

[drakothedragon55]

Because some people (on Discord) really like my silly goofy AU robot man, I decided that I was gonna do this! Y’all know who you are, and this is for you :)

— Skeletons in his Closet —

A robot fitted with cowboy-esque attire wandered through some mostly desolate plains. Radge was made with the intention of hunting down anyone who displeased his master, and for the most part, he did his job well.

There was only one teeny tiny little issue: Radge wasn’t alone.

Before the game was modified (which he referred to as ‘the change’), the bot had been working on his own little creations. However, he could hardly recall anything about them because most of his memories had been wiped, and the rest were corrupted.

But the Uberbots? He couldn’t forget them. Mainly because sometime during ‘the change’, their files had somehow become unzipped, and were now living within his mind.

“Movement spotted. Potentially the target.” The Photographer said. Due to his sensitive optical sensors, he had been helping Radge with hunting down their most recent target: an oddly small Smiling that had wandered from Pafjyn’s island and was now intruding on Krozzar’s land.

They had been stalking the infected for some time now, and nearly lost it when the Photographer offered his assistance. Radge was cautious when it came to letting an Uberbot take control, so he only did it when on a mission, and away from his master.

“Hey, Radge?” When G0lly abruptly spoke up, she inadvertently ‘booted’ Radge into the inky black confines of his synthetic subconscious. He was only there for a moment, but it felt like an eternity without his optical or auditory sensors.

“Jeez, G0lly! You can’t just butt in when another Uberbot and I are both piloting. You might throw off Photo’s focus.”

“I’m sorry….I just thought of a question and reaaaaly wanted to know the answer.” This time, G0lly had the decency to send a direct message instead of taking control of his speakers.

“Fine, fine.” He replied. “But make it quick.”

:0 “Thank you!!”

”So…how come you only let Photographer help you out? Why can’t we do one of your super cool missions?”

Radge pauses for a moment, before sending a private message to the Photographer asking him if he could be the sole pilot for now (to which he responds with a thumbs up emoji.)

“…Well, I’ve given an offer to the Archivist in the past, and she politely declined. And you know how Canvas can get sometimes. I didn’t want them to get overwhelmed—“

“That’s weird. I never got an invite. How come?”

Oh, G0lly. She was much too pure for this cruel, dark world. Radge promised himself that he’d keep her safe from the horrors he and the others had to experience because of Krozzar.

And h̵̬̹͋͋i̴̡̺̖̔̏̀͘m̶͇͚̔̑̕͝ͅ.̶̞̟̠̝͌

“Oh. Well, I probably just- forgot. Yeah.”

“…Come to think of it, you never invite me to do anything. You don’t even let me pilot.”

Radge noted that G0lly sounded like she was on the verge of tears, even though she was physically incapable of doing so.

“Why…why do you leave me out? Do you hate me that much?”

“What? No. Why would you think that, G0ll—“

“Target acquired.”

Seeing his chance to leave this awkward situation, Radge goes to re-pilot his body alongside the Photographer. Once he reconnected to his optic sensors, Radge notices the limp figure laying on the ground in front of him.

“Is it-“ ”Unconscious. Krozzar requested it be taken alive, correct?” ”Y-Yeah…”

They were essentially a robotic hitman, but Radge could never get used to the feeling of actually eliminating a target.

“I can take it from here. Thank you, Phots.” ”No problem.”

With the small infected slung over his shoulder, Radge thought that things would get easier from here. “WH#T DID YOU S#Y TO HER?”

Nevermind.

“Heyyy there, Canvas! I thought you were taking a rest.”

“S#rry for yelling, but G0lly’s gon# quiet. She s#id that she ‘finally g#t her answer.’ W#at did you say to #er?”

“G0lly sent me a notification. Is something wrong?”

“None of your business, Archivist. Now can you please just—“

“I have received a notification as well.”

“You’re all here! Awesome!!” ”I’m trying to convince Radge that I’m tough enough to help him with his missions, and I thought that you guys can help me with that!”

“Tough enough? Oh, G0lly…”

Every wire in Radge’s body felt like it was melting. His system couldn’t handle the strain of everyone attempting to pilot at once. The bot froze in place, twitching. It’s screen flickering from one set of eyes to the next.

“I agr#e with G0lly. It’s #nly fair that she g#ts to do a mis#ion.”

“This work…this world…it’s all too much for her. I’m sorry, G0lly, but I’m siding with Radge on this one. What do you say, Photographer?”

“I have little opinion on this matter, as long as our tasks are still completed.”

“-and I can complete them!”

“Can you aLL JUST SHUT UP!?!”

Silence.

“Please….just *hhh* stop. All of you. Just stop…”

“We appear to be overheating.”

“Perhaps we overdid it a bit..”

One by one, the Uberbots slowly receded back into their shared digital headspace, leaving just Radge.

And G0lly.

She didn’t say anything, but Radge could sense that she was still there.

“…G0lly?”

“…”

“I— I won’t beat around the bush anymore. I’m sorry. You’re just…so positive. You’re the only ray of sunshine we have in this miserable world, and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you like how I lost mys-“

“…..”

“Do…do you want to look at animal pictures when we get back?”

“That’s all you had to say.” :)

And with that, G0lly was gone as well. But not before sending one last private message.

“I’m still kinda sad…but I get it. Can I at least help you and the Photographer find targets?”

“Maybe.” Radge replied as the familiar sights of the heart of Krozzar’s domain faded into view.

“Just maybe.”

#apocalyption #inscryption au #radge #story #long post #this was way longer than i thought it would be lol. oh well! #i cant promise that all my future works will be as long as this one

[dreamgirledward]

12, 14 and 16 for the movie asks

hi!! thank u :))

12: Which movie has your favorite soundtrack?

ooohhh SUPER hard to answer but probably a tie between lotr and the holiday (i am a hoe for nancy meyers) :')

14: Who is your favorite director? Why?

to probably no one's surprise, taika waititi (sofia coppola is a close second!!!). i think i realized he was becoming my favourite when i saw wwdits in theatres back in high school. a couple years after that, boy was screening at the tiff lightbox (tiff screens theatrical releases but also will have more themed or event-based screenings of all kinds of films) and i was feeling kinda lost at that point in my life - this was before i made the change to study film, i was in university but was kinda freaking out about my future because of how unhappy i was. anyway, i knew i loved wwdits and didnt think id have a chance to see boy in theatres before since it came out years prior - id seen boy at that point but never on a big screen, i mean - so i got a ticket on a whim and i just remember crying my eyes out the whole way home (which was a mortifying hour long subway ride 💀). then hunt for the wilderpeople came out a year after that and the rest was history lol. he's described his films as stories that focus on people on the fringes, people who are different, but there's always a family dynamic to be found no matter what it may look like for these 'outsiders', which has always drawn me to his storytelling technique, but there's also the added element of playful whimsy that provides so much comfort even when the story itself can get quite dark or sobering (a perfect example of this would also be jojo rabbit). i tend to like stories with that kind of balance, and i think he excels in that regard. he was also an artist before he ever considered filmmaking, an aspect i can (kind of) share as I used to want to be an artist when i was a kid. i used to paint and draw constantly but stopped a long time ago. aside from all the typical stuff about him everyone knows, i do admire filmmakers/editors that share a similar characteristic, which is that if they could choose, they choose to work with and support people they care about (within their own community, their friends, etc) and that's how i hope to continue to be as I build on my career. he's been very transparent about taking jobs that pay the bills (re: marvel) but repeatedly chooses to work with old friends and be drawn to more indie projects that reflect his roots, which i respect as someone who wants to make my passion projects a reality, but on the side as I work towards a more stable career.

16. How do you feel about people talking during movies being watched at home?

it depends! if it's something someone hasnt seen, im always gonna be shushing other people (or THEM) to pay attention. i personally hate having to pause and explain things for someone when they arent taking the opportunity to actually listen but will ask a bunch of questions anyway. my parents are especially bad with this 🥲 so im used to getting frustrated and having to pause and explain. it's even worse if you're the one showing someone a movie that you love and they're talking throughout because you want them to enjoy it properly :') but if it's a movie we've all seen, i dont really care about talking throughout lmao

movie questions ask game!

#ask game #weeee i love talking about movies!!!

[lamarkeu]

Episode Summary: We meet Soonyoung, our final Superman for episode 2 as he tries to tire out his triplets.

Genre: Fluff

Masterlist for SVTTROS Series

Italics: Narrators Boo Seungkwan (BS) and Lee Minhyuk (LM)

Bold: Staff

Regular: What family member says / what camera films during the show

🎶 Listen To: Phonecert by 10cm 🎶

LM: The Return of Superman, “Growing Pains” Part 3

BS: Hello wide open spaces and an open yard, this Superman spends most of his free time in this modern Hanok style house just outside of the city.

LM: The rustic, stained wood accents are found all throughout the house as well as the toys that cover every inch of the sun room.

BS: It provides almost a path towards the backyard.

LM: Which is quite huge if I do say so myself, they even made use of the space with a patio, garden and gazebo.

Soonyoung pushes away the large amount of sweat that seemed to form after wearing a cap. He attempts to cover his eyes while trying to avoid bumping into the cameras.

The sound of whispers could be heard within a foot radius, causing the cameras scattered amongst the trees and bushes of the backyard to turn. Three little heads can be seen peeking out from a large tree closer to the back fence.

LM: Their little round faces are so adorable.

Soonyoung slowly creeps towards the back trees, before yelling “I found you!”

“Appa!” One of them exhales loudly in disbelief. It was obvious to Soonyoung that Taeyoung didn’t expect to be found so quickly.

Miyoung joins in by complaining loudly, “That’s not fair.” Her pigtails bounce around as she turns to face her brothers. “I told Jinyoung and you to hide somewhere else.”

“I was here first.” Jinyoung timidly answers as the three walk away from the tree.

Soonyoung can’t help but laugh at his little mini-me’s. Before things escalate too fast he attempts to re-engage their focus elsewhere. “Don't fight, if you guys want to try again we can do another round. How does that sound?”

BS: Our new Superman is a full time dad of triplets that is known for shaking the stage. Everyone say hello to our performance team leader, Kwon Soonyoung!

LM: Soonyoung-shi! Welcome to the show. If your life is anything like the time me and my daughters came over, I’m sure you’ll have no problem gaining the hearts of our viewers.

The sound of a familiar ringtone breaks any tension between the trio, as they begin to tug on their dad’s shirt. Soonyoung on the other hand is smiling way too wide at the ID on his phone to even notice.

BS: This means that his partner is none other than internationally acclaimed comedian and actress, Y/N L/N.

“Hi. Taeyong-ah, Jinyoung-ah, Miyoung-ah. How are my babies?” Soonyoung crouches down to their height in order to see the face that belonged to a high, soft spoken, baby voice.

“Eomma misses you all very much. I should be home by tomorrow evening. Can’t wait to hold you and give you kisses again.” Miyoung practically sings in her sweet voice.

“Me too!” Taeyoung chimes in beside his sister.

Lastly Jinyoung pushes past his siblings to share a quiet “I love you Eomma.”

“Yeobbo,” Soonyoung pouts. It was evident in his face that he wanted your attention. Before you can even let out a response, Miyoung takes the phone out of his hand and hangs up. The two laugh at their sisters antics, their father's mouth left open in disbelief.

“What time is it?” Soonyoung yells towards the camera as if he were performing at a stadium.

You and the little ones can’t help but giggle at their father, proudly yelling, “10:10!”

“Hello everyone my name is Kwon Soonyoung but you might know me as Seventeen’s performance leader, Hoshi. My kids Taeyoung, Jinyoung, and Miyoung on the other hand know me as appa.”

“And I’m their mother Kwon Y/N.”

How did you two meet?

Soonyoung chuckled as all the memories flooded back, “I’m glad this was brought up. There have been so many rumours about how we met.”

Looking at the director who asked the question, “We knew about each other for a long time.” You turn to see your husband's face all flush as you go on. “Our mutual friends would always tell me how I’d get along with Soonyoung. I really did want to meet him but our schedules almost never aligned.”

“It wasn’t until Mingyu’s wife tricked us into going on a blind date that we had time to meet one another.” He continued, his smile getting wider as he spoke.

“We walked around the zoo together and then ate at one of their animal themed cafes.” A rather loud laugh escaped your lips as Soonyoung went into detail.

“When she picked out the tiger themed one I instantly knew I wanted to marry her.”

What was it like for you guys when the two of you started dating in the public eye?

Soonyoung takes a moment to adjust himself after two of the twins start falling asleep against his chest. You went ahead and answered to the best of your ability replying, “I was actually more open than Youngie was to revealing our relationship, I didn’t want my comedic sets and other acting jobs to affect his career or vice versa.”

Just as you turned to your husband you noticed a piece of his hair out of place. With your free hand you tuck it behind his ear while balancing the other. You swear he had seen the moon, the sun and all the stars in your eyes as he spoke. “It was a matter of if I wanted to share this part of me to the world.” He exhales the breath he had been holding in, speaking comfortably when he intertwined his hand in yours. “Y/N loves to laugh off the hate she receives even if it really digs into her in hurtful ways. As her fiancé, I wanted to shield her away from all the negativity.”

“I don’t think I would've been happy being kept away,” you reassured the viewers, “There's no need to hide something as beautiful and as special as love.”

How did you react to finding out you were expecting triplets?

“I honestly think our fans were more shocked then we were.” Soonyoung walks back in after putting the triplets down for a nap, you calmly and quietly continue speaking to the camera. “We got together later than most people our age so I struggled getting pregnant for a while. After a few attempts and no results we decided to consult with our doctor who suggested IVF.”

“For those of you who don’t know, IVF has the tendency to produce multiple pregnancies. It’s almost 40% more likely than a natural birth.” Soonyoung says enthusiastically, “Y/N and I definitely knew that possibility but it didn’t really become real to us until we saw it on the ultrasound.”

“Soonyoung cried for a good hour or so after that appointment. The only time he cried more than that was when I went into labor.”

“You were having a hard time pushing because Minyoung came out first. How could I not react?”

“She was blessed with a big head just like the two of us.” You try your best to lighten the mood, knowing how much he hated looking back on your pain. “Aside from the initial struggles of birth we’ve been so lucky that our children are so well behaved. So taking care of them has been easier for us than most parents.”

Would you want more kids?

“Yes,” Soonyoung smiles sheepishly.

“We’ve always dreamed of having a big family.” You explain to the viewers “Obviously not right now given the size of our house but later down the line when we move out and the kids start kindergarten I wouldn’t mind trying again.”

Do you have anything you’d like to say to the viewers of Return of Superman?

“I hope we can provide you with laughter and happiness when you watch our daily antics.”

You follow suit, bowing politely, “Please love my family.” Sticking your neck out more, you direct your attention to the staff behind the camera, as they work away at audio, “I’m sorry in advance if my husband and children are very loud, I hope that doesn’t make your job difficult. If there's any trouble please let me know. Thank you.”.

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen #seventeen series #lamarkeu series #dad!svt #TROS #TROSSVT #lamarkeu ros #seventeen reactions #seventeen requests

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Cleopatra (Mankiewicz, 1963)

To be honest, I struggled with Cleopatra for the first half of its four hour runtime, finding much of the proceedings, if nice to look at, a little annoying, for lack of a better word. Only once I reached the midpoint did it start to click for me, and my problem with the earlier sections came into focus: Rex Harrison's performance as Julius Caesar. In scientific terms, he fucking sucks. Perhaps I hold some pent up resentment from being forced to watch out of context snippets of My Fair Lady in high school while my eleventh grade English teacher did an abominable job of teaching us Pygmalion. But even without relitigating teenage grievances, I think the true measure of his performance is what he gives his costars to work with. A good actor can elevate the work of their costars. Harrison sinks them. Ostensibly madly in love with Elizabeth Taylor's Cleopatra, his smug, self-satisfied demeanour conveys only infatuation with himself, and makes the attraction Taylor is supposed to feel for him and the grand gestures she makes in the name of love feel inexplicable. I understand some reviews at the time were unkind to her performance, but they should have looked elsewhere.

When Caesar is killed during the Ides of March (which I guess is a spoiler, but it's also a historical event, so not really), it's less the tragedy the movie positions it as than his murderers doing everybody a huge favour. For one thing, it means the arrival of Richard Burton as Marc Antony, who becomes Cleopatra's lover for the second half of the movie. The difference between Burton and Harrison is vast and illuminating. Both have an undeniable theatricality to their performances, but where Harrison seems mostly impressed by his ability to deliver the florid dialogue he's given, Burton can imbue it with real feeling. The attraction between him and Taylor have the intensity of two lovers who were having a torrid affair offscreen and got married, divorced, remarried and re-divorced. The grand, nutty gestures they make in the name of love feel a lot more convincing, is what I'm saying. It's also worth noting that Burton plays one of the more credible scenes of drunkenness I can recall, likely because he had a lot of practice himself. The other major performance in the movie belongs to Roddy McDowall as Octavian, who has an off-kilter energy that complements the intensity of the central relationship without being overshadowed.

Speaking of grand, nutty gestures, there's a scene where Cleopatra's arrival is marked by a grandiose ceremony, including a giant sphinx brought forward through the crowd, and you look at all those extras and the elaborate sets and props that have been constructed, and it's hard not to have your breath taken away, at least a little. This was made in an era when movies could have ungodly amounts of money sunk into them and it could bear tactile rewards like this, but beyond the level of pure spectacle, I think it colours the movie pretty interestingly. I understand this was a notoriously troubled production, and scenes like Antony deciding to wage a battle on sea despite its strategic imprudence or Caesar railing against the limitations imposed on him by the Senate play like a director trying to assert his will over a production and battle with the money men. (It goes without saying the sea-set battle is one of the movie's highlights.) And in the closing stretches, the cavernous sets the characters find themselves in seem to amplify their emotions. Which is appropriate because this is a movie about characters who are larger than life and can shape history on a whim, consequences be damned. Is that a very democratic message? Absolutely not, but it does make for compelling cinema.

#film #movie review #cleopatra #joseph l. mankiewicz

[an-svu-sideblog]

Women of SVU Week - Day 1

Priorities

Characters: Kat Tamin, her girlfriend, Fin Tutola, brief Olivia Benson

Warnings: language, almost smut but not quite

Dua Lipa blasted from the phone lying on the bathroom counter amongst scattered makeup brushes, eye shadow palettes and fake lashes. The bass sounded thinner than it should through the small speaker.

Kat leaned forward toward the mirror, her mouth forming a small “o” as applied her eyeliner, tapering it to a perfect wing. “Is Kristina bringing her new girlfriend?” she called.

“What?” a voice called back from the adjacent bedroom.

Kat finished her makeup and strode into the bedroom, leaving her phone near the sink. “I asked if Kristina was bringing her new girlfriend.” She approached the bed where her girlfriend was perched on the edge, currently pulling sheer tights up her calves. Kat reached into her purse and began shuffling around for her earrings.

“Which new girlfriend?” Jo asked derisively.

Kat paused, wrist deep in her purse. “Wait, another one? Isn’t she dating that nurse from Queens? The one she brought to the Halloween party?”

“Turns out the nurse was fucking an EMT so that didn’t end well. Now she’s dating a girl she met at that bar uptown. You would’ve met her at the New Years party if you had been there.” Jo’s statement had little vitriol in it, but it stung nonetheless. The frequency at which Kat was suddenly called into work was often a source of contention in their relationship.

Kat tried to ignore it. “Okay, what does this girlfriend do? She’s not another bad tattoo artist is she?” she asked, half-joking. “Kristina doesn’t need another Chinese character that says ‘water buffalo’ on her ankle.”

Jo laughed snidely. “No, this one is an Instagram influencer. Don’t let her start trying to sell you her miracle juice cleanse mixes. Kristina says her intestines haven’t been the same since.”

“Noted.” Kat replied with a wince. “I’m just glad she has someone. She’s so busy all the time; it’s good that she can make time for a girlfriend.”

Jo didn’t reply.

Earrings in place, Kat gave her tight dress one last adjustment and turned to face her girlfriend. She threw her hands out to the side, asking for Jo’s opinion. Jo smiled and lifted herself off the bed to close the distance between them. Kat, already in her heels, gazed down at her girlfriend, her hair hanging down to frame both their faces.

As they met, Jo ran her hands across the smooth fabric that was hugging Kat’s hips and pulled her body even closer.

“You look so good,” Jo said, her voice low. “You’ve been so busy lately. I’m glad I finally have you to myself for a night.”

“I’m all yours,” Kat matched her tone and leaned in for a kiss. Their hands roved over each others bodies as the kiss deepened. They pulled each other close; any space between them was too much.

Jo started pulling Kat toward the bed, craning her neck to ensure their lips never parted. “We’re going to be late,” Kat murmured into the kiss.

“So?” Jo retorted with a smirk. Their knees met the mattress, and Jo pushed Kat down to sit on the edge of the bed. She straddled Kat’s lap, her dress riding dangerously high around her thighs. Kat’s hands slid slowly up her girlfriend’s legs and hips, tracing the folds and seams of the dress now bunched around her waist.

Jo gently gyrated her hips to the still-blaring pop music from the other room. Kat moaned slightly into their kiss.

“You’re fucking kidding,” Jo said with a sharp sigh. The music had suddenly been interrupted and replaced by a harsh vibrating sound against the porcelain counter.

Kat paused, her eyes still closed as if she could ignore the ringing phone. The woman sitting on her lap was more determined to ignore the unwelcome distraction. Jo kissed her harder. Kat allowed herself to succumb for a moment before her rational brain won out.

“I have to get that,” she said ruefully.

Jo groaned and leaned back to give Kat a disappointed look. “You said you had off tonight.”

“I did have off, but if we catch a case I have to go.” Kat lightly patted her girlfriends thigh, a gentle request for her to vacate Kat’s lap. “C’mon, I have to see who it is.” Jo didn’t move. “Jo,” Kat added with a stern look.

She let up, and Kat rushed to her phone, her heels clicking on the tiled bathroom floor. It was, of course, her Sergeant. When she returned to the bedroom, her face said everything that Jo needed to know.

“I’m sorry,” Kat insisted, grabbing her bag off the bed. “I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

Kat was rushing too fast to see the utter defeat on her girlfriend’s face. Jo didn’t say anything as she watched her girlfriend disappear from the apartment.

***

The fluorescent lights of the precinct were a harsh contrast to the darkening sky outside. The squad room was mostly empty as she arrived. Only Fin and Benson had arrived so far, and Benson was busy in her office preparing to brief her squad.

Fin looked practically scrubby in his jeans and button-up compared to Kat’s elegant and very low-cut dress. She hadn’t had time to go home and change, and he didn’t waste the opportunity to comment.

“Which club is missing you tonight?” Fin asked with a sly smile on his face.

“None you’ve heard of,” she retorted.

Fin winced dramatically, “I’m not that old!”

Kat smirked. “When’s the last time you stayed out past 11pm?” His wounded silence was answer enough. She moved past him, still smirking at his defeat. “I have clothes in my locker; I’ll change before we start.”

Kat returned from the locker room, looking much more professional. She shed her party clothes and adopted her usual steely attitude, now ready for the job. The only tell that her night out had been abruptly interrupted was the heavy makeup that still adorned her brown eyes.

Benson briefed them on the situation. A brutal rape/homicide had culminated in the victim stumbling, bleeding, into a corner store. After being rushed to the hospital, she died in surgery. The victim was left with no wallet, no ID. There were no solid suspects.

With no leads on where the girl came from, Benson directed Fin and Kat to start at the corner store.

***

In the midst of an unhelpful interview with the store clerk, Kat felt her phone vibrate several times in her pocket.

After discovering no helpful leads, Fin thanked the clerk for their help and they moved to leave. He and Kat stepped back out into the cool night air, hypothesizing what to investigate next with such little info.

Kat ventured a glance at her phone and felt her heart jump into her throat as she read the notification.

from: Jo <3

9:21pm

[I’m sorry Kat, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t feel like a priority, it’]

The preview ended there, but Kat had seen enough. A surprising mixture of emotions cascaded over her. She felt disappointed, confused, and overwhelmingly indignant. A breakup by text? Seriously?!

Fin had gotten ahead of her on his way back to the car. He quickly realized she hadn’t kept up. “Tamin, you have an epiphany or something? Let’s go.”

She wordlessly closed the distance and joined him in the car. She worried her expression was giving away too much, but she couldn’t seem to collect her focus enough to erase the emotion on her face. Her heart may as well have been on her sleeve.

As the car pulled away from the curb, Kat started out the window, hoping her Sergeant wouldn’t pry.

“You good?” Fin asked after a long moment of silence.

She internally cursed the occupational hazard of having coworkers who were very insightful. “Fine,” she replied shortly.

“You’ll do your job better if you’re not distracted.”

Kat paused a moment to consider the veracity of his statement. He was right, annoyingly, and she knew he was also implying that talking about it was the remedy to the problem of distraction. Giving up on hiding her sour expression, she turned to him. “Well, I’ll have a lot more time to do my job. I won’t need time off for date nights anymore.”

“Did you just get broken up with by text?” he asked incredulously.

Kat lifted her phone and gave it a little shake to indicate that she had indeed.

“That’s cold. You’re too good for her,” Fin said adamantly.

She scoffed in response. She knew he meant well, but it sounded like the kind of compliment that a mother gives: genuine, if not cloying, and completely subjective.

“I’m serious. The job is hard, but you deserve someone who can handle it just like you do. I lucked out with Phoebe; she knows exactly what the job is like. Not everyone can get it.”

“I just don’t know if it’s worth it. Dating is so much time and effort. Meeting someone you’re actually interested in seems impossible, and then as soon as they realize the work schedule is insane and unpredictable they bail.” She let her eyes follow each street light as they drove through the city. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the job. I just don’t know anymore...”

“Once you find that someone, it is worth it.” Fin’s voice was softer than Kat was used to hearing it. The seasoned Sergeant with a killer quip ready for any perp was being uncharacteristically soft. “Even if you only get to see that person for a few minutes when you wake up or for a quick coffee at lunch, it’s worth it. For both of you. The right person will get it.”

Kat felt the anger in her ebbing away, leaving only the sadness in its place. “Thanks Sarge,” she told him sincerely.

“Now you owe me fifty bucks. Therapy’s not cheap.” He said this with an even, serious tone, but the shit-eating grin on his face said otherwise.

“Ha ha,” she replied sardonically. “Don’t quit your day job.” Her tone was dry, but she was thankful for his attempt to lighten her mood. It worked, if only for a moment.

The details of the surrounding city faded from her focus as Kat tried to push the breakup from her mind and refocus on the case at hand. She failed and instead, she found herself re-living every suddenly canceled date, every small argument, and every time a tough case had consumed Kat’s mind and prevented her from being fully present during what little time she had with her girlfriend.

They say hindsight is 20/20, but it felt like these memories were viewed through the wrong prescription lenses; whatever the opposite of rose-colored glasses are.

She unlocked her phone once more and swiped the notification away, willing her eyes not to read the letters as they scanned the preview once more.

She does deserve better.

#wsvu week #kat tamin #svu #law and order svu #fin tutuola #my fic

[heat0death0of0the0universe]

i gotta talk about Narrative Telephone

I. Fucking. Love. It.

when my extreme dislike of second-hand embarrassment takes a loud backseat i can fin so much that i love about it. 

but what i love most isn't the humor. or even the continued critical role content. no, i love the allegory and the metaphor of the whole concept. 

all my life i loved the concept of watching time move forward. seeing evolution, hearing language change, watching cultures rise and fall. but what i dont like is time and the fact that im along for the ride. id rather watch evolution, not be step 48801 of a process with no end. and sadly most media and general public doesn't like watching time change. no one wants too see how the English language evolves with a rise in Spanish speaking folks and pop culture creating new idioms and words. everyone would much rather watch something with the same animals with the same people walking the same cities speaking the same language, albeit maybe with a few more neon lights and holograms to make you feel like its in some vague ~future~. but narrative telephone gives me the change i like to see. i can finally feel like im watching a story going through the times and changes of a culture.

im gonna need to explain a little more. what better way than to show off all the current episodes.

episode one is simple, pumat and the big bad wolf. the sorry starts with pumat on a stroll through the woods. he finds a talking wolf and they fight. the story ends with the pumat eating a nice mushroom and wolf stew. but the changes to the story are what get to me. i love ashley, trust me i really do. but in this context, she’s basically the dark ages. everything crumbles and the story follows in the crash. this point is when the more brothers grimm tales and nonsense folklore are added in. people dont like the night, so the seen changes to match. suddenly the wolf not only speaks, but has a beak! the fighting through being somewhat vague in the original story now is lost to time and is none existent. taliesin builds off it, changing it ever so slightly from a garbled to a more of a warning story. a story that reflects a change in a cultures thoughts on the woods. when everything was all writings and giant building the woods where just a place to rule over and harvest, but after the fall now its returned to the unexplored. the place of fey and monsters that should never be explored at night. marisha adds winter and gives it just the smallest bit of added context. a man in the woods during night before might have been seen as mad or crazy, but a man scrounging for some mushrooms in a dead forest in winter isnt tempting fate, he’s struggling to live. a shift in view also makes it so that the beaked magic wolf is just as weakened by the winter, and is easily turned away by just a voice. sam is..something. if ashley is the dark ages than id say sam is like a renaissance. specifically a very drunk renaissance. the kingdom was risen and is filled with hubris and pride.its gained a very “man falls for his hubris” greek vibe to it.  pumat has gone from scavenging to walking unbothered by cold dead winter. the kingdom has lost its enjoyment of strange creatures, monsters are still around in legend, but most have been replaced with magical people, with a clear rise in “person in an animals skin” tropes. the original fight has been mostly lost, now the story is that of a magic hunter who eyes the mushrooms taken by pumat and gives a chuckle and permission to continue exploring the woods unimpeded. pumat eats just the mushrooms, which now have gained the lupine taste, and the vague description of “he became something more” giving the idea of some sort of curse for his nature. Laura has added back the wolfs anger, but removed the suspicion of pumat. the curse is still in the end of the story though. this could be a change into more of a forbidden fruit trope. because pumat still trusted strange mushrooms in a dead forest with a magic guardian, he paid the price. travis is a sort of close to modernization of the story. its the point in time when its nonsensical nature and magic was viewed as weird and convoluted.  similar to when we look at older myths with long intricate plans and think “nice story, but poor pacing”. liam goes for the “granddad telling stories by the fire” vibe. the tale has died down and is being co-opted for new use. now the rather dark tale has turned into more of a children's storybook with messages like not to trust strangers and to not do drugs being tagged on. 

ep. 2: jesters ability to say 1000 words a second. pickadors plume is a story in a story. a story about gaining a treasure through a complex and detailed series of events  with lots of loaded lore about the world with no clear description of what the treasure truly is. liam is the first few generations. the generation close enough to the original to try and remember, but not enough to keep every detail. the best example is of the ending, where the treasure should be. humans love rewards, so a story with a vague reward isnt enough for people. in liams generation transition to the griffon, travel, and fruit specifically being the treasure begins to lay its foundations. since this is already so long i will also mention that the transition from stone shaped like a heart ---to----> stone shaped like a hut could be an example of a changing dialect and language. sam, travis, and marisha are clear evidence of a shift in culture. jesters complete backstory wasnt introduced till now. and in it comes the cultures want to explain this event. humans love simplifying, but we also love to describe things. if we want to, we will add words just as much as we remove them. the dialect changes just as much. the new word of “schtupping." has either replaced or become a synonym of the word fucking, the name of the plum as even changed too. the treasure has gone from “lost to time” to “there is treasure, i just wont name it”. but fret not, for the mystery aspect is still in the story. for now everything will disappear like it never happened, or did it? though travis specifically specifies that you keep the treasure. humans love rewards, it was gonna come back eventually. matt is the sorta an enlightening moment in the society. at the very least its the point in time where people who know geography and history say “wait, that layout doesnt make any sense”. taelisan and ashley are the beginning of the end. the slow fall into the dark ages. the story becomes vague and small. slowly becoming more of a statement and less of a story. the society is forgetting large chunks and its bleeding out into other legends. there maybe a sort of thanksgiving/ christmas sort of event spawned from or because of the myth, but the story itself isnt going to live every far (hence why its ending in a dark age and not somewhen else)

Ep. 3: boy do humans enjoy rich’s, love, and drama. sam’s story comes from a society that warns against wanting what you wish for without expecting some strings attached and features a evil ruler to boot, just so they can date the legend. the story of a delivery boy who invents a pair of glasses to see through objects and uses them to win rewards and gives them all to a rich woman that only loves him for the money, and really loves the prince. matt changes the story so the two are already in love. but also changed it so that it was the greed of the prince and the wife that lead to the heartbreak rather than the delivery boys naivety. travis changes delivery boy from a clever inventor to just already owning the glasses. both matt and travis with there respective fictional cultures are showing how humans like to remember the stuff they liked in a story, so when they forget when something specifically came in, they just fill in the blank and assume its always been there. travis specificaly begins the stories slow march to a less heartbreaking story by adding a joke to help give the couple a more flushed out relationship. this is also the shift in cultural perspective. the antagonist began his life as a evil prince, but now is simply a rotten neighbor. this could mean the myth was co-opted to fit a better role, possibly after the removal of monarchy or just of a specific bloodline.the rich wife becomes just the wife, no money involved. this is also the beginning of what a full fledged re-write of the story. now the delivery man has gone from giving up to still being in love with the wife and now even standing up for himself. (possibly a mix of when the story was of a prince and used to promote the common folk to rise up against the kings, leading to the theory of a removal of the crown). ashely...oh ashely. this moment in history atleast solidifies the love between them, and even brings back delivery husbands inventor skills. liam is the slow clawing climb back up out of the collapse. he’s still very much in the collapse of the kingdom. but aleast its just before when begin to solidify into the new meta of the era. laura and taelisin’s era is a complete re-write after the collapse of the society. the focus has moved to more of a folk-hero style legend about rising above through theft and cheating (could mean that after the collapse the culture around theft changed from crime to fighting to survive. the antagonist has really changed from being the bad guy to just in the love triangle. the society seems to agree with every polyamourous person when we all say “this how drama triangle could have been avoided if you guys all just got together”. marisha’s only real change a more modernization from “specticals” to “goggles” and that the culture either wants to make half-orcs feel more inclusive or just really dont like goliaths and changed it. 

ep. 4: deargodfinallyigottheneedtowritethisoutofmysystemsoletsspeedrunthisshit. liams story is an analogy for the horrors, pointlessness, and sacrifics of war. but over time the story shifts from a “we did this to ourselves” narrative to a “an outside force did this to use”. this shifts the goal from a need for peace to a need to protect everyone for the sake of the many. ill write more later but dear god i my hand might fall off soon

#cr #critical role #narrative telephone #telephone

[xb-squaredx]

B-Squared’s Top 10 Games of 2020

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that having something to distract me from the genuine horrors unleashed during 2020 was vital to staying alive, and for me that means a lot of video games! I played…a lot of games last year, but I spent a lot of time playing older games, so I didn’t get a chance to check out a lot of high-profile games that launched this year. Still, I do want to shine a light on the games that managed to resonate with me even a little bit, that somehow managed to launch this year. So let’s get to it!

#10 – No Straight Roads

Rarely have I been struck by a single trailer for a game like I was for No Straight Roads. Produced by industry veterans under a new studio, this is a rare game that’s not quite an indie game from a studio full of newbies, but it’s also not produced with the same kind of budget and resources of a Triple-A project. What do we call this? A Double-A game? Single-A? Regardless, I have to give the team at Metronomik some props for delivering a super stylish game in the midst of a very challenging year. No Straight Roads is a rhythm-based action game where two up-and-coming musicians fight to bring back Rock and Roll to the people of Vinyl City. I absolutely adore this game’s presentation, with each major boss being visually unique and having their own feel that compliments the music they bring to battle. There’s some real energy in these animations with character designs that ooze personality, and being a game about music the soundtrack is great! All that being said though, I have to admit I wasn’t a huge fan of the gameplay when all was said and done. It leans way more on the rhythm side of the equation than I was hoping for, and the action felt very shallow. The fixed camera made some phases of some fights a real problem, and the Switch verison, which I played, is plagued with a lot of issues that really brought the game down for me. If the game interests you at all, give it a shot on PC or PS4; I hear those versions are a lot better. Still, I liked the potential I saw in this game and in this studio, so I can only hope they did well enough to continue on. This definitely feels like the kind of passion project that deserves more recognition.

#9 – Streets of Rage 4

OK, so full disclosure: I didn’t grow up with 2D beat-em-ups. I missed out on all of the greats of the genre back in the day. No Final Fight, no River City Ransom, no Double Dragon, and definitely no Streets of Rage. In more recent years I have tried to dip my toe in the genre, as I did in 2019 with River City Girls. However, I came away from that game a bit disappointed by the overall gameplay and wondered if 2D beat-em-ups were for me. Seeing so much praise heaped onto Streets of Rage 4 had me curious, so I knew I had to try it, if only to broaden my experience in the genre. In many ways, this game is the perfect sequel to a franchise that hasn’t seen any signs of new life in years. It retains what made the series beloved with satisfying combat and challenge, but with a modern touch. The overall art style of the game and music work out pretty well, and I found the act of comboing enemies to be really satisfying. It really doesn’t overstay its welcome either, which is very appreciated in an age of endless timesinks. I also struggled a fair bit with the game, even on Normal, and well after some patches that seemed designed for more casual fans like me. Had this game not had online co-op as an option, I don’t know if I could have beaten the final levels. So my time with this game was pretty rough but despite that I can still see this was a game made with care, and if this game DOES do something for you, there’s plenty of reasons to keep playing on higher difficulties, unlocking more characters and even playing online with friends. Let me put it this way; I’m not all that sure I like the genre and I still liked this game, so I think that counts for something!

#8 – The Wonderful 101: Remastered

…this one is kind of cheating, I’ll admit! I had a lot of trouble thinking up ten games that really stood out to me this year, honestly. That said, I’ll definitely use loopholes to plug one of my favorite games from years ago. Seven years ago, PlatinumGames launched The Wonderful 101 on the ill-fated Wii U, where it bombed harder than just about anything on the system. For those that gave the game a shot, however, they were quick to discover a deep, complex, and charming action game that plays like nothing else out there. Controlling a team of 100 heroes at once, players form weapons out of the various Wonderful One’s bodies, smacking around giant robots and aliens far larger than them with the power of teamwork! How could you not love that, right?! Now, years later, PlatinumGames is aiming to become more independent and their first act was launching a Kickstarter as a way to get this game on newer platforms. While we may never know why Nintendo gave Platinum their blessing to release this game on non-Nintendo platforms (being as this is still, as far as I know, a Nintendo-owned IP), I’m just glad more people can have access to one of the most unique action games I’ve ever touched.

To sell it another way, this game combines the overall aesthetic of Viewtiful Joe with the shape-drawing action of Okami but with a bit of Bayonetta flair on the side. Basically, this is the culmination of everything director Hideki Kamiya has ever worked on. The Remastered version fixes some issues present from the game’s original release, and while I do think they could have gone a bit further with some changes, it is likely the best way to play the game for many. All those sections that made heavy use of the Wii U GamePad are a tad awkward though, but that held true even back on the Wii U anyway…d-don’t worry so much about that, though! I’d still recommend this game to anyone looking for the type of over-the-top action that only Platinum (and occasionally Capcom) can provide! So please consider joining the Wonderful Ones and Unite Up!

#7 – Paper Mario: The Origami King

Discourse around the Paper Mario series is…more than a little rough, honestly! Many fans have been quite vocal about not liking the direction the series has been heading with the last few games, but I went into The Origami King with an open mind and ended up really enjoying the game for the most part! What the game lacked in a developed storyline, it made up for with some really strong character moments and memorable setpieces. Bobby and Olivia are among my favorite partners in ANY of the Mario RPGs, easily, and the entirety of the Great Sea section of the game was a really fun adventure. I love the highly-detailed paper-crafted enemies and locales, and the soundtrack really didn’t have to go as hard as it did. While the battles against common enemies didn’t quite click with me, the boss battles throughout the game constantly surprised me with interesting twists on the ring-based combat and are a real highlight for me. I know this game is pretty divisive amongst Paper Mario fans, but I think the franchise has a pretty bright future ahead of it!

#6 – DOOM Eternal

Fair warning here, but I haven’t quite managed to beat DOOM Eternal at the time of writing this, but what I’ve played so far tells me it definitely belongs here. I think Eternal is hands-down the most intense game I’ve played in a long time. It gets my blood pumping as I dash about, shooting and slicing through demons that are extremely eager to rip and tear me to pieces. I don’t play many shooters in general, so I knew I was going to be in for a rough time, but DOOM Eternal brings it to another level right away. In some respects, I don’t quite agree with various aspects of the core game design that makes the game harder than I think it needs to be at times. The scarcity of ammo, and thus the constant need to use the Chainsaw weapon in order to gain more ammo gets tiring, though that somewhat levels off as more weapons are acquired and players learn of more efficient ways to take out the hordes of Hell. The game’s fantastic soundtrack by Mick Gordon definitely elevates the experience, so it is a huge bummer knowing that he and ID Software had a falling out and he won’t be coming back. I really dig the game’s expansive levels and more focus being put on exploring every nook and cranny for secrets, and certain old-school touches like finding extra lives or cheat codes definitely makes the game feel like it was ripped out of a bygone era and given a modern paintjob at times. Doom is eternal, and with it, so is pulse-pounding shooting action!

#5 – Xenoblade Chronicles: Definitive Edition

Compared to the other re-release of an old game on this list, I think this particular title had a lot more time and care put into it…and it also happens to enhance one of my favorite games on Wii as a bonus! Xenoblade Chronicles on Wii was a game that almost passed me by but even years later, I still adored the characters and world it introduced, and I’ve been happy to see what started as game that was almost stuck in Japan eventually grow into a full franchise. I consider the first game to the best in the series, though it was held back by a few issues later games would iron out. Chief among the problems was the visuals, particularly the character models and…wow does ten years make a world of difference. The Definitive Edition does more than just clean up everyone’s faces, it also cleaned up the game’s cluttered UI, made it easier to track quests and materials for said quests, and added some fun optional challenge missions for veterans to tackle. The bow that adorns the top of this package, however, is the epilogue story Future Connected that serves to tie up some loose ends and gives a particular character some great closure. If you love massive worlds to explore, a compelling, at times over-the-top story, and a deep, rewarding combat system, I can’t recommend THIS version of THIS game enough. If you’re going to give the Xenoblade series a try, there’s no better place to start.

#4 – Ghost of Tsushima

When Ghost of Tsushima was first unveiled years ago, I didn’t exactly have a high opinion of it. It seemed like a game that put more emphasis on visuals over gameplay, and I was almost certain it would launch as a PS5 exclusive so why bother getting excited when I probably wasn’t going to be an early adopter of the system? To my great surprise, not only was this game confirmed for PS4, it wound up being one of the prettiest games on the platform and well-optimized to boot, even on my old slim PS4. Playing as lone samurai Jin Sakai, players try to repel the Mongel invasion of Japan, but are forced to adopt less-than-honorable tactics to take on this ruthless enemy. Usually when I play stealth games, I find myself frustrated. I feel weak, or limited, and often the games feel overly harsh. If you get caught once, game over and there’s little salvaging being seen. In Ghost of Tsushima however, there’s a great deal more care put into stealth, and at times I’d argue it’s almost too fun to pass up over the sword play. Very few missions in the game force you to go completely unseen, so stealth just because yet another tool rather than a limitation imposed on you.

Swordplay felt a bit less engaging against common enemies (typically just being Simon Says, switching to the appropriate stance for a given enemy), but the one-on-one duels throughout the game were fantastic and I almost wish the game was all about them instead. I can’t overstate how gorgeous this game is either, with a world that feels like it is breathing, as the wind whips through the tall grass, the moon penetrates fog overtaking a creepy forest, or seeing the smoke from an enemy camp wafting over the distance. Hands-down one of the best-looking games on the PS4, and I’m particularly happy that developer Sucker Punch managed to land a hit with a new IP, as those generally feel more risky as times go on. While I’d argue that Ghost of Tsushima doesn’t really redefine how open-world games should be designed, it is an extremely polished experience and manages to do it well, with plenty of opportunities to grow in a potential sequel.

#3 – Animal Crossing: New Horizons

If there’s any one game that people absolutely needed in 2020, it was Animal Crossing: New Horizons. While there are other games of this type, like Stardew Valley or the Harvest Moon (and later, Story of Seasons games), Animal Crossing is one of the few games that gets mainstream attention while simultaneously running counter to most mainstream gaming trends. No conflict, no combat, no overarching story really…just a game that lets you live your live, day by day on your own terms. I tried getting into the series before with New Leaf but just didn’t stick with it, but New Horizons launched at the perfect time in an imperfect world. Being able to escape the uncertainty and dread that enveloped the world as the pandemic spread for even a little while was a necessity, and thankfully New Horizons had plenty to do to keep idle hands busy. Changes like item crafting and eventually limited terraforming of your island paradise give players so much more agency in decorating their homes and building up something they can be proud of.

We all start as nothing but a small tent on a mostly-empty island, but seeing what people were able to do even in the first few weeks or so was nothing short of amazing. We need more unflinchingly wholesome games in the world, and I’m thankful for Animal Crossing for being there when we needed it, and considering how well it sold and how much post-launch content is expected to be added with time, it remains a sanctuary to return to even now. Just…please let us craft in bulk? Pretty please, Nintendo?

#2 – Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity

Last year, Nintendo released Astral Chain, a game that no one knew about before release, which was revealed and released with very little gaps between them. It was a game I didn’t know I wanted until it was presented to me, and that trend continues this year with Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity. The first Hyrule Warriors was a fun, surprising spin-off of the main Legend of Zelda series, and Breath of the Wild was a fantastic game that shook up the core of the Zelda franchise, so in hindsight it really does seem like a no-brainer to combine the two into one package. Age of Calamity, for my tastes at least, cuts down on the repetition and overall stressful atmosphere of the first Hyrule Warriors and instead focused on fleshing out it’s core combat and crafting more creative main storyline missions. It helps that the game reimagines iconic locales from Breath of the Wild from before their destruction, and really makes you feel like you’re fighting through actual places rather than just a collection of random keeps that most Warriors games use.

Bringing in aspects like the Sheikiah Slate and Elemental Rods allows players to control the flow of combat more directly on top of letting them be more creative. Freeze enemies standing over water with the Cryonis rune or burn some grass with the Fire Rod to distract certain enemies, among many other things. Each playable character is also very distinct, even in cases where I could have forgiven the developers for reusing some attacks or traits. For one, Link has different movesets for his Sword and Shield, Spear, and Two-Handed weapons, but none of his attack overlap with the other Champions who use similar weapons. Some people might be put off with certain aspects of this game’s story and ultimately not everyone likes the overall structure of the Warriors spinoffs anyway, but for my part, Age of Calamity was one of the best surprises of the year, unveiled right at the end of the year in the nick of time. Of course, there was one game this year that surprised me more than any other.

#1 – Hades

I’ve known of Supergiant Games for quite a while and very recently began looking through their catalogue of games. They’re known for well-crafted narratives and satisfying combat, and yet when I first saw Hades when it was released in Early Access I was tepid on it. It didn’t look bad or anything, but it didn’t exactly blow me away and even now, I think a random screenshot or quick clip of the game might not do the game justice in explaining the appeal. I already wrote about the game at-length (as my only real non-retrospective blog post of the year, oops!), which you can read here if you want more in-depth praise, but to summarize…Hades is the total package for me.

Playing as Prince Zagreus your end-goal is to escape the puts of Hell, and more specifically get away from your overbearing father, Hades. It’s a rogue-lite, meaning you’re expected to finish the game in one shot and if you die you lose any upgrades you picked up along the way and have to start from scratch…to a point. Hades does allow you to keep a fair amount of items you pick up which can towards small, permanent upgrades or even gifts for various NPCs that can deepen your bond with them. Unlike most other games of this type too, the story constantly moves forward, even after death. The game is about dying over and over and then dusting yourself off to try again, all the while other characters remark on your progress or lack thereof. I grew to really enjoy this cast of characters, a fun spin on the Greek pantheon, paired with excellent voice acting for the entire cast. From the imposing, if somewhat sultry Megaera, to the nervous wreck that is the maid, Dusa, to the pompous ass Theseus, I looked forward to each new run just to learn more about this world and those within it. For once, death wasn’t really a punishment, but a reward, and just part of the process.

Of course, incredibly satisfying combat is ALSO part of the process and it just gets…addicting; muttering “one more run” over and over as you try out different weapons and boons, discovering what works well together and what doesn’t. While at first beating the game felt like it would never happen, I grew from my failures, adapted and eventually overcame. Multiple times. If you want the “full” Hades experience, this game can really demand a lot of time out of you but at the same time it stays fresh, so I can’t really complain. With new gameplay mechanics unlocking as time goes on, to the Pacts of Punishment players can trigger if they want a bit more challenge (or a lot more), Hades is that rare game that just keeps giving and giving. Before I knew it, I had dumped well over 50 hours into it, and I STILL need to get back to the game if I want that epilogue.

Compared to every other game that came out this year, Hades is the one game that grabbed me from moment one and would not let go until I hit credits. When I wasn’t playing this game, I was counting down the minutes until I could play it again, and let me tell you that is rare for me these days. At this point, Hades is clearly the breakthrough hit for Supergiant and I couldn’t be happier. The fact that this game got to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with industry titans at The Game Awards is kind of surreal, but I can’t think of many who deserve that recognition more. It helps that Supergiant is a studio that actually takes care of its employees, which is way rarer than it should be. I don’t mean to hype this game up like it’s the cure for COVID or anything, but I mean it with all my heart that this was the best game I played this year, and I’d recommend it in a heartbeat. I couldn’t stop talking about it for months after playing it, just ask my friends! So yeah, it’s pretty OK I guess.

CONCLUSION

I’m sure my Top 10 List looks a lot different from most out there, but that’s what’s great about games! So much variety and so much quality no matter where you look! Every year, without fail, there’s always at least a small handful of games that come out that I don’t get to, and try as I might I’ll never trim that backlog down. I want to keep playing games for as long as I can, trying out so many different experiences and seeing what this wonderful pastime can offer. For a good chunk of 2020 I was more than a little down, not just because of…you know, but a lot of games that were coming out weren’t appealing to me. That said, seeing as this was the year of shadow drops and announcing things at the last minute, I ended up loving a bunch of games I hadn’t already spend months hyping myself up for, which definitely helped to lift me up this year. Already, 2021 has a lot of titles I’m anticipating though, so it’s sure to be an exciting year.

Happy Gaming.

-B

#top ten list #gaming #animal crossing #paper mario #xenoblade chronicles #ghost of tsushima #doom eternal #no straight roads #hades #streets of rage 4 #thewonderful101 #age of calamity

[studylizziee]

Starting University

Having started uni last year, I can really relate to the anxieties/fears that people have towards the start of September. So I decided to make this post which is a compilation of tips and advice I’ve accumulated over my first year of university. I hope it’s helpful :)

What to bring

it’s a difficult thing to strike the right balance between bringing too much and too little, but my advice is to err on the side of too little, as you can always buy things you’ve missed once you arrive (the only exception imo being decorations for your room from home)

a doorstop is a must! when you’re moving in my literal number 1 tip is to have your door propped open virtually at all times - it makes such a difference because then people will just stop to have a chat, or wave and say hi as they go past, and it just sends a friendly vibe

things that will personalise your room and make it feel like your space. This was one of the biggest things that combated my homesickness, because I created a sort of safe space for myself. So for me this was cosy lighting with lots of lamps (I brought 2 in addition to the one my uni provided) and fairy lights, posters on the walls, books on the shelf, pictures of my friends, cushions and blankets, and lots of cute mugs 

in that vein, get some command strip hooks that you can stick onto the wall - I used small ones to put my fairy lights up and larger ones to hang my jackets on 

for posters and pictures for the wall, I used blu tack

keep the storage boxes that you use to move all your stuff in with (I put shoes in one, misc stuff in another), and drawer dividers are a really handy buy too (I used them to separate my underwear)

don’t forget important documents/ID like your passport and driving license. There’s usually quite a lot of admin when you first arrive so it’s important to have these kept safely with you

if you drink, bring some alcohol and a mixer you like for pres

a bumbag for nights out is pretty essential - it’ll keep your phone, ID, keys and money safe, as they’re difficult to steal from and far more secure than your pockets!

make sure you have a medicines bag stocked with paracetamol, plasters, antiseptic cream etc, because the last thing you want when you feel sick for the first time at uni is to have to go out and buy medicines

I brought earplugs because I like quiet when I’m trying to fall asleep, and halls of residence are not exactly known for that.. also, walls are thin

there are nowhere near enough coat hangers provided, so bring some from home

I also 100% recommend taking a bike to uni! I cycle everywhere around campus because it’s faster and good exercise, and I also sometimes cycle into town rather than getting the bus (& if you bring a bike, bring a helmet, front and back bike lights, and a D-lock! They’re worth investing in I promise)

lastly, I recommend that the first thing you do when moving in is to do a big food shop! I arrived on a Friday night and planned for my parents to take me food shopping on the Saturday, but I forgot I needed something to eat for dinner on Friday and ended up having a freebie pot noodle that was in my room...

What not to bring

shared items like a kettle, toaster, toastie maker, blender etc (until you’ve communicated with your flatmates)

before I came to uni, in august I think, a few of my flatmates and I made a group chat on facebook (unis normally make a fb page with your halls of residence and you can find your flatmates from there), and sorted out who’d bring shared items. It was really helpful because the last thing you want is 5 kettles taking up loads of space in the kitchen! 

if you’re not able to/don’t want to message your flatmates before arriving at uni, I still wouldn’t bring these items as you can buy them once you’re there if no one else has them (which is pretty unlikely)

a bin and desk chair - they’re provided

too many clothes/shoes: I know it feels like you’re going away for a really long time but try to think realistically about how many things you’ll actually wear. Instead focus on making sure you have lots of layers, and clothes for all weather possibilities

an iron - I literally never ironed once while at uni - and yes, that’s as a person whose course requires me to go on placements and look formal fairly regularly 

unless you’re an avid baker I wouldn’t bring baking equipment like scales/mixing bowl etc. I only had a measuring jug and a roasting tin, which was enough to make cookies ;)

Freshers

Ah, freshers. The most over-hyped week(s) in existence. As an introvert, it was an exhausting period of time for me. Although I had fun meeting people and at the events I went to, it left me drained, and I also felt pretty anxious a lot of the time, especially during the first week. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy the whole freshers experience because it was, frankly, pretty overwhelming. Just remember that freshers is not at all representative of the rest of your uni experience, and it’s okay if you don’t love it.

Meeting people/making friends

I was equally excited and nervous when I moved in, and I was particularly worried, as most people are, about making friends. The first thing to say is that everyone’s in the same boat. Everyone is anxious to be sociable and make friends, especially during freshers, so make the most of this time to start conversations and get chatting with people. Although don’t feel you need to make long-lasting friendships during freshers - often people find that their uni friends aren’t the people that they hung out with in freshers.

Don’t feel pressured to go to loads of parties/nights out if it’s not your scene; there are other ways of meeting people, the biggest one being societies. My biggest regret from first year is that I didn’t try enough societies - I did choir and went to one netball training session (rip) because I thought I didn’t have time for anything else. I wish I’d taken up more opportunities and tried more things, because it’s such a great way of meeting like-minded people (and people from other courses)! 

When to leave your parents

This is a difficult one, and I know this was one of the things causing me the most anxiety. I’d read somewhere that you should just say bye to your parents when they drop you off and get on with it, because you have to grow up now. The truth is, everyone is different and needs a different amount of time in order to say goodbye. For me, my parents helped me move in on the Friday, and stayed the night at a hotel while I went on my first night of freshers, a pub crawl. The next day they helped me with my food shop/buying other things I needed before they left in the afternoon. I know both people who spent the whole first weekend with their parents, not coming to any freshers events, and people who said goodbye the minute they walked into their flat. Neither choice is right or wrong - just think about what’s best for you. I knew I needed a bit more time but simultaneously wanted to be part of the big first night, and I found a happy compromise for me.

Dealing with homesickness

I was really homesick for, I’d say, the first 2 weeks. One of my big mistakes was that my dad came up a week after I’d moved in to bring my bike (don’t regret that bit, my bike is great), and it was actually more difficult saying bye that time around. It was wayy too soon. My advice is:

give it a bit of time before you see your family

facetime/call home regularly to start off with, and over time it will naturally become less often. For the first week, I facetimed my parents every night, and after that it was every 2-3 days, and by the end it was every one or two weeks

get busy! the absolute worst thing you can do is isolate yourself in your room doing nothing, because it gives you too much time to overthink. Especially for the first few weeks, keep yourself busy and take advantage of all the events on offer

Things to make sure you do during the first week or so:

Even though freshers is super busy, it’s important to make time to do some bits of admin

Register at your university’s GP/health centre

Find out where the student support service is/the telephone number you can reach them on

Get a phone number for maintenance of halls because you never know when something might go wrong (on literally my first night the shower didn’t work)

Find the library, cheapest food shop, launderette, and explore campus

The academic jump

The jump from school to university can be quite a considerable one. It’s not only harder content, but also a different way of learning from what you’re used to in school, with much more reliance on independent study. Don’t worry too much about the first term, because that tends to be a sort of re-cap where they bring everyone onto the same page. Use that time when the content is not as difficult to 1) have fun and do lots of non-academic things, and 2) attempt to develop your style of learning. People underestimate sometimes the fact that you have to learn how to learn. So try different things and see what works for you, so that by the time you start the ‘real work’ you’ll be a bit more prepared. Tips:

have a system - by second term I decided that my system was to make a summary, somewhat condensed document of notes for each week, which I filed in folders for each module. This works for my course, but what the system is doesn’t matter - the most important thing is to have a tangible goal of independent work (usually notes) that you want to achieve 

keep on top of things - I was sooo bad at this in first year, and have resolved to change things next year... I would do my set work for the week, but I didn’t do my weekly summary notes until the end of term and it was a mad rush. It would have saved me so much pain to do it as I went along

pay attention to feedback and learn from your mistakes

lecturers are an amazing resource and they love their subject, so if you have a question ask them! (either in person after a lecture/seminar or if that’s too much send an email)

make friends with your coursemates - you’re all in it together and it’s amazing how much you can learn from each other

BACK YOUR WORK UP! it doesn’t matter if it’s an external hard drive, dropbox or google drive as long as it’s somewhere! 

Cooking/Food

bring recipes or a cookbook - these are pretty essential for when you’ve run out of ideas (or if you haven’t done much cooking before!). My friend got me ‘The Hungry Student Vegetarian Cookbook’ which was great, as is ‘The Green Roasting Tin’. I especially loved the concept of the latter because it’s so simple - put everything in a roasting tin and bang it in the oven

cook in bulk! this is my number 1 tip. Put whatever you don’t eat in tupperware containers and freeze it - then, as my flatmate said, you have prepared your very own ready meals

most people have heard of the ‘fresher five’ (5kg put on in first year), but this can so be avoided by making sure you have your 5 a day, not having takeaways too often, and not overdoing it with alcohol

as I said, don’t get takeaways too often - it’s tempting, I know, but they’re mega expensive so you’re better off saving it either for when they’ve got a really good deal on, or as a special treat

consider eating less meat - any meat of a good quality is far more expensive than vegetables are! I’m vegetarian and slowly becoming more plant-based as I cut out dairy, and among its other benefits it’s so much cheaper

making meal plans can be really useful - you don’t have to have an elaborate chart, but when you do your weekly food shop, plan what you’re going to eat during the week. This also helps reduce your food waste

freeze your bread! I got this tip from @muststudy, who has a great post on cooking tips linked below, but this is such a good idea to stop your loaf going mouldy before you can eat it

cook with your flatmates/friends - around dinnertime was by far the most social time in my flat, as we all congregated in the kitchen to cook and have a chat. If you have similar tastes to a flatmate, consider shared cooking! My friend and I virtually took it in turns to cook for each other, or we’d cook a shared meal together, and it made what can become a chore a fun thing to do

General

There can be a pressure for uni to be ‘the best years of your life’, and to be having a great time 24/7. It might be like that for you, but don’t worry if it’s not - it’s perfectly normal to feel sad or lonely at times. I definitely did. If you feel that way, reach out to people and don’t keep things bottled up. Try to make the most of opportunities, and enjoy this exciting and novel period of time in your life :)

Useful posts / websites:

Budgeting: how to manage your money at university by The Complete University Guide

Cooking: essential cooking tips for uni students by @muststudy 

tips for starting university by @quilavastudy 

tips for freshers week by @dxmedstudent 

What to bring to university checklists: one, two, three 

#mine #starting university #freshers #freshers tips #freshers week #uni #starting uni #my tips #studyblr #studyspo #study blog #studivation

[ozzdog12]

2019- Top 7 (And 1)

  Another year has come to an end and thus the hotly anticipated Top 7 (And 1) from your ‘average at best’ Ozzdog12 is here for you to feast your eyes upon. 2019 was an extremely odd year for me, gaming wise. As parenthood has taken the full brunt of my time, my gaming time and the choices of what games I decided to play, have changed. I played several games this year that, under any previous year I may have stuck with longer or tried again, but as time for gaming has become more and more thin, I now have less ‘patience’ to stick with a BIG RPG (Disco Elysium, one day I’ll get to you). Now I’m going to contradict my previous sentence with this next sentence. I was unemployed for a stretch of 5 weeks and in between looking for jobs I also found myself with a decent amount of time to play some games. What I did with that time is played 2 games that ultimately made the list, for two very different reasons. I also cleared out a chunk of backlog games (Finally beating Diablo 3 for one, thank you Switch) and played several, shorter smaller games in the process. If interested in my previous Top 7 (And 1) 2017 & 2018.

And now on to the And 1 this year

Favorite game that came out in 2019 that actually came out 20+ years ago: Legend of Zelda: Links Awakening (Switch)

This one was actually a hard one to decide as Age of Empires 2: Definitive Edition also released this year. AOE2 is the one game I may have put the most time into ever, cumulatively. But I’m giving the nod to Link’s Awakening simply because its BRAND NEW to me. I did not play the original release and this has been an absolute joy to play and is by far, the best Zelda available on Switch. The updated graphics are gorgeous and the art style is great. I haven’t completed the game yet, but I’m slowly chipping away at it at night. It feels and plays like a Zelda game but updated properly to a modern console to make it feel like a brand new game released in 2019 and not just a reskin/up-resed re-release. The game is also structured in a way that appeals to me more than Breath of the Wild was (see 2017 And One for reference). The world feels big, but is contained in a clever way to make it FEEL bigger than it actually is.

Number  7: Rage 2 (PS4)

Rage 2 is a very weird game. I don’t mean it’s weird in the sense that nothing clicks or that its bad. In fact, it’s a joy to play (especially is you love iD shooters). It’s weird because outside of the gameplay mechanics, it’s fairly barren (intentional or not). And I mean that in terms of both story, things to do and the world itself. Having very little to do with the previous Rage (which I really enjoyed on the 360), Rage 2 starts off quick and with a bang. You choose which version of the character you want to be, learn the mechanics and then are eventually sent to a town. There are a total of 6 ‘story’ missions that are stretched out by requiring you to complete tasks for one of the 3 town leaders who you’ve enlisted for help to take down the General. Once you do this, you fight the General and that’s kind’ve it. Now along the way, you will kill a bunch of mutants and humans alike. There are 3 factions (4 if you count the Ghosts in the DLC) that are in an ever engaging gauntlet to the death and you get to play janitor by spilling more guts and blood, but none of it really matters, the Factions I mean. There are a few Crusher Mutants (BIG MUTANTS) to also fight, but they are essentially extra heavy bullet sponges. Now, I know I haven’t really sold you on it, but here’s the thing. I REALLY enjoyed RAGE 2. It was the perfect game to play during the summer. Due to a personal situation I was dealing with (the looming unemployment) it was nice to just sit down at night, turned my brain off and just kill things. It reminded me of a simpler time in my youth playing games like Doom. Same vibe honestly. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a story and narrative driven player, but Rage 2 scratched a nostalgia itch for me at the perfect time. 

Number 6: Concrete Genie (PS4)

Concrete Genie is a game that is honestly out of left field for me these days. Not that I don’t like these types of games, it’s just as previous stated, time is somewhat of a precious commodity and had Concrete Genie come out in any other year, I probably would’ve skipped it entirely. However, it didn’t and I’m glad I picked this up for $20. It also scratched a nostalgia itch and reminded me very much of the PS2 era of games like Sly Cooper and Jax and Daxter. You play a kid who is bullied (something I am familiar with first hand, sadly) for being a loner and an artist. His creature drawings come to life with the help of a magic paint brush and your objective to put color back into an abandon town and bring it back to life. There is a VR component I wasn’t able to play because I don’t have a PSVR. The game is fairly simply and doesn’t deviate far from that formula. There is very little combat and just enough variety in the monster’s you can make to keep you going. It’s also fairly short. I was able to complete and collect everything in around 7-8 hours. Having a complete game in a bite size package is something I long for these days. 

Number 5: The Outer Worlds (PS4)

This game should be higher on the list but I put it here simply because while I have played it a fair amount, I haven’t played it enough to warrant it being higher. I’m maybe halfway through? I love Bethesda Fallouts (And Obsidian’s New Vegas) and this is an improved New Vegas in space with a more cheeky approach. The Outer Worlds never takes itself too seriously and revels in its sarcasm. The companions are all mostly likeable enough and each planet has felt distinctive enough to entice me to keep exploring. The mechanics are improved and the overall gameplay is better than New Vegas.  Its structured just like a Fallout game, so there is a lot of comfort there. However,  just like any open world RPG, sitting down for less than an hour and trying to accomplish anything is hard. The Outer Worlds is best played in big chunks. It’s at the top of my list to finish in 2020. 

Number 4: A Plague Tale (PS4)

A Plague Tale was THAT game that was on everyone’s ‘Hidden Gems’ list. I had seen a trailer around E3 and it intrigued me enough to check it out. I completed it over a whole weekend, a rarity. The game isn’t perfect, but everything is serviceable enough to work within the confines of what it’s trying to accomplish. It has some technical flaws and the occasional hiccup, but I’m a sucker for 3rd person action adventure games. The game is mostly centered around stealth with combat as a mostly secondary option. The game takes place in France in 1348 during the rat plague. You play as the daughter of an alchemist and your brother has been sick since birth. Once your village has been raided by the Inquisition, you are cast out to find help. The plague has taken over the majority of the country, but it isn’t until later in the game where the game takes a turn into the fantasy in a major way. You meet up with some really likeable characters with different personality traits along the way that really kept the story moving in an interesting way. The story was really grim at times, but honestly kept me hooked until the final chapter. The boss battle was extremely frustrating. With a sequel being announced, I am extremely interested in where they take the next chapter. 

Number 3: Katana ZERO (Switch)

Katana ZERO rules. There is a fine line where a game is challenging and when a game is unfair. I like a challenge, but I don’t want to work (games like Dark Souls are work). KZ is very similar in style, gameplay, tone, and even music to Hotline Miami. The difference being KZ is a side scroller instead of top down. You play a samurai in a quasi-dystopian future after a war. You are programmed killing machine…or are you? The story is fairly heavy and can bring up some tough subjects. KZ is pretty challenging, especially later in the game, but never once did I feel the game was cheap or unfair. Every time I died (MANY, MANY TIMES) it was always my fault. Either I didn’t plan my attack correctly, I hit the wrong button, took the wrong path, or didn’t time it right. The game has a nifty way of dealing with ‘deaths’ in the game using a neat rewind feature. When you complete a level, it shows you a replay in ‘real time’ giving you a nice recap of your work. Every time I completed a level, I felt a sense of accomplishment. My Switch says I put around 5 hours or more into it once I completed the final level, but it honestly felt longer than that, in a good way. KZ is an absolute blast to play and you should go play it right now!

Number 2: Gears 5 (Xbox One)

I’m a fan of the Gears of War series. The first Gears of War still being my favorite of the series. As time has passed, I’ve become less interested in the series as a whole but still interested enough to play every entry. I thought Gears 4 was the Force Awakens of the series. Essentially a retelling of the same story, with a new coat of paint and new characters with the old ones sprinkled in. Gears 4 was ultimately, fine. So I was actually excited for Gears 5 was going to go and to see how they built upon 4 with a focus on Kait instead of a Fenix. Halfway through the story, the group is divided and it starts to take a different tone. Gears 5 experiments with a first of the series, a semi-open world. I thought it broke up the monotony of wall hug, shoot, reload, repeat. I finished the story in a few days and had a good time with it, though once again, the ending being kind’ve abrupt. The series has a knack for being sort’ve slow, then suddenly turning it to 11, then ending.  I wished the campaign was longer, but it’s still solid. Gears 5 introduced a new mode called Escape, where you and two other players plant a bomb and try to escape a level with limited ammo. There is weekly a revolving door of new levels, which is nice, but each level is just reusing assets. I suspect with time and each new Operation (Season) that will be expanded. Horde mode is back and the character classes are fun. New characters have been added and will continue to be added, but they are an absolute grind to unlock (But you can always pay for them!) The reason Gears 5 is this high is mostly due to the amount of time I spent playing multiplayer. As stated, I loved the original Gears of War and put an insane amount of time into the multiplayer. That was in 2007 and the older I’ve gotten, my desire to invest into multiplayer has waned, almost completely. Once again though, right time, right place. I spent almost the entire month of October, logging on every night, completing challenging and playing online. Something I haven’t done since I was a freshman in college. I had an absolute blast. While I don’t delve into online as feverishly as I did in October, I still occasionally dabble when I get the chance.

Number 1: Mortal Kombat 11 (PS4)

As if this was going to be anything else. I’m a Mortal Kombat mark, plain and simple. I’ve loved the series my entire life. I love the lore, I love how ridiculously violent it is, how goofy and bat shit insane the story has evolved. I love it all. But its not all gore and lore, Mortal Kombat is a supreme fighting game. It’s not a nuanced as the likes of Street Fighter, but its infinitely deeper than a game like Smash Bros. Mortal Kombat is in a good sweet spot for both casuals and hardcore fighting fans. MK11 has maybe the greatest in-depth tutorial that has ever been made in any fighting game. It not only teaches you how to play, it teaches you the terminology. The story picks up right after MKX, with Raiden upset with everyone and taking matters into his own hands by torturing Shinnok. Liu Kang and Kitana rule the Netherrealm. Raiden plans an attack where he is essentially the Trojan Horse. All goes according to plan, until Kronika, The Time Keeper, decides she doesn’t like this anymore and eventually brings back some old friends to help her change time (again) and finally eliminate Raiden from existence. In doing this, Kronika has made all those mirror matches from previous games cannon. The production level and story mode in Netherealm games are on another level compared to other fighting games and they continue that trend in MK11. They implement the gear system from Injustice 2 into MK11 and its fine. The Krypt is amazing and is full of secrets. The Living Towers have returned, this time in the form of the ever changing “Towers of Time”. The roster, which is what everyone really cares about isn’t the worst but isn’t the best. None of the new characters are all that fun (Cetrion, Geras, & Kollector) and the returning roster was missing some notable characters. The DLC thus far has been fairly underwhelming compared to MKX. It was nice to see Shang Tsung, Nightwolf, & Sindel return (all 3 should’ve been in the main roster) but Terminator is lame. MKX had the likes of Tremor, Tanya, & Predator. MK11 seems to break what was a fun tradition in DLC having new, MK characters (Skarlett and Tremor, respectively). While I do think there is another set coming after Spawn, if the leak is true, then it seems underwhelming. I played MK11 pretty religiously for almost 2 months and still play at least once or twice a week. I love MK!

#mortalkombat #mk11 #gears of war #gears 5 #katana zero #a plague tale #rage 2 #legend of zelda #links awakening #concrete genie #ps4 #switch #nintendo switch #sony playstation #xboxone #videogames #gaming #games #2019

[michael-langdon-appreciation]

Honey give us prt 5 plz

Honey...here it is. Part 5 everyone!!! 

WARNING: Features some sad content, a little fluff and a little smut! You’ve all be warned... 🙈 I’m SORRY BUT IT HAD TO HAPPEN! Also will be making this into a masterlist or something soon so LOOK OUT FOR IT! 😘💕

Michael could feel something was horribly wrong upon arriving home. He had never returned home to find Y/N missing. What life did she have but him? No friends, cut off from Jim and Duncan, he was her life force and Michael was proud to hold the leash tight. His feet carry him straight into her room, the bedroom neat apart from one earring dropped onto the carpet. Michael picks it up, holding the little drop earring up to the light. It’s one Duncan bought her, a pretty little drop. 

The memory assaults Michael at once, Y/N above him sliding down on his cock as those earrings wave back and forth with every thrust. Jim’s fingers trailing up Michael’s chest as drags Michael in for a kiss. He can practically hear Y/N singing for him while Duncan pounds on the door from outside, desperate to join in. 

Happy times. 

Simpler times. 

The urge hits him, the earring getting warmer in Michael’s hand the longer he holds it. Just a simple spell, child’s play to him and he’d know exactly where Y/N is. Divination, one of his earliest masteries. But no, Michael won’t do that to her. He slides the earring into his pocket and heads for his usual vice, a giant glass of red wine. He pours it, tying his hair into a bun and unbuttoning his shirt. Michael leans on the countertop, taking measured gulps as he checks his emails. 

Cooperative bullshit, a text from Dominos that should have been for Duncan really. He pushes his phone away, unable to think about Duncan. He drains the wine glass and pours another immediately. Michael’s sure that tonight he’ll finish the bottle and he’s half-way through his second glass when a faint buzzing catches his attention. It’s coming from the hallway, Michael investigating with all the grace of a panther. 

Y/N’s handbag, the one she uses most days sits on the mantlepiece in the entryway, next to the vase that holds their keys. Michael had been so disturbed upon entering that he didn’t even notice it. He fishes inside, retrieving Y/N’s phone which is vibrating in his hand.

Ice slides into his heart as Michael stares at the Caller ID - ‘Beach Boy’, Jim. 

He’s been so good. Michael’s resistance has been iron-clad. He hasn’t read a single message from either Jim or Duncan and he knows that Y/N hasn’t either… But calls, he didn’t even think about her secretly calling Jim at night. When he’s asleep or out of the house. Michael knows that neither Jim nor Duncan have been inside the house. He’d know in a second if they had, but what has Y/N been filling her time with? Sexting Duncan, his Duncan? Planning her future with Jim, a future without him?

He sees red, nearly crushing the phone in his hand and before he can gain any self control Michael’s typing in her password and re-dialing the last number. It picks up almost immediately, ‘Listen to me you little fucker-’

‘Michael?’ 

He blinks, taken aback by the voice on the other end. ‘Medina?’

‘Oh thank God. You need to get Y/N now, she’s with you right? You live together?’

And suddenly the feeling makes sense. It wasn’t Y/N, Michael was feeling at all. Jim’s presence still wafts through the air, vibrant and hollow. Michael swallows, ‘He’s not okay, is he?’

Medina’s clearly been crying, ‘He’s in hospital, Michael. I found him in the bathroom, he hit his head on the sink. There was blood everywhere, choking on his own vomit. I…Y/N’s his emergency contact and I had to let her know cause she’s all Jim’s been talking about.’

‘I don’t know where she is.’ The fear grips his voice, ‘She’s been out all day.’ 

‘You need to come now, Michael.’ Medina says, ‘Find her however you can. I…I don’t know if Jim’s gonna make it past this one. There were pills everywhere.’ 

‘I’m on my way.’ 

He ends the call, already feeling faint. The world is tilting on it’s axis, because Jim’s in serious trouble and Y/N’s missing and Michael doesn’t know how the fuck he can help or why it’s always left to him to clean up everyone’s mess. His hand retrieves the earring, turning it over in his fingers. Michael’s eyes slide shut as he focuses. 

It’s not an invasion of privacy…not when it’s life or death. 

When Jim comes around there’s a figure slumped in the chair and a weight on the bed. An IV sticks out of his arm and Jim can hear the ever-present beep from the heart monitor. His heart thumps as he takes in the two figures, but it’s too dark to make out much. He reaches out, his fingers running through their hair, ‘Y/N?’

They lift their head and then scramble for the light switch, ‘Jim?’

It’s Medina. 

Disappointment sits on his tongue, like when you swallow sea water. He opens his mouth to ask when golden curls come into view, ‘Michael?’

The Antichrist looks reserved, hands behind his back but Jim knows better. He hasn’t slept, there’s dark circles under his eyes. For the first time, Michael Langdon looks unwell, sickly. Jim never wants to see it again. 

‘I tried to reach Y/N and he picked up.’

‘Did he?’ Jim pushes down his retort, that no one should be answering Y/N’s phone but Y/N.

‘He’s done more for you in two hours than any of the staff.’ Medina continues, pushing Jim’s hair off his forehead. ‘Healed your forehead and made sure the drugs left your system, his knowledge of medicine is…wow.’

‘Isn’t it just?’ Jim’s eyes are still on Michael who eyes him hard enough for Jim to get the message, Medina has no idea who he really is. 

‘He’s…amazing.’ Medina praises, throwing Michael her kindest smile. Jim’s mouth drops a little. Medina, his sister who snarks and judges everyone likes the Antichrist. Not that she has any idea who Michael really is. 

‘Harvard.’ Jim supplies, ‘Top of his class.’

Medina nods, squeezing the back of Jim’s hand. She looks to Michael and then to Jim and picks up on the atmosphere instantly, ‘I’ll let you both…talk.’

Michael takes her place sitting on the edge of Jim’s bed. The moment Medina’s out of the room, Jim’s hand flies across his cheek. 

The sound echoes off the room, as does his yelp of pain, ‘What the fuck?’

Michael hasn’t moved an inch, his eyes glowing with pleasure, ’You deserved that.’ 

‘I’m in hospital, you prick.’

‘Of your own doing.’

Jim’s speechless, ‘Fuck you!’

He remains as stoic as ever. Then Michael’s fingers reach out, trailing over Jim’s legs. He can feel the warmth from under the blanket and Jim finds himself fighting off a blush with a hard cough, ‘Stop it.’

’I thought you were past this.’ Michael’s fingers trail up to Jim’s shoulder, ‘Why would you do this?’

Jim swallows. There is no way he is going to admit the truth to Michael, that it was just simpler. That ODing meant that they had to speak with him again, if he hit that balance just right so he’d wind up in hospital. If he could see Y/N again, speak with her, touch her. 

‘I missed you.’ His words have more truth behind him than he thought, ‘All of you.’

Michael doesn’t catch his meaning. His fingers play with the thin hospital gown Jim wears, ‘We missed you too, dumbass.’ Michael won’t look at him though, ‘Y/N especially. It was so hard for her to ignore your calls, your messages.’

Hope ignites inside Jim, catching onto him as if his insides were made of oil. 

‘Are Y/N and Duncan coming?’

Michael looks to the door, ‘Yeah.’

Jim frowns, Michael-eloquent-Langdon being so casual is a rarity. ‘When?’

‘Soon.’ 

Jim’ll take it, because he has nothing else left. His fingers remove Michael’s from his hospital gown, starkly aware that he’s naked underneath it. The stray thought shows on Michael’s face and Jim looks away, unable to watch the smirk dawning on Michael’s face. But neither of them let go of their intertwined hands. 

Duncan hasn’t let go of Y/N’s hand. Not during the phone call, the taxi ride, not even as they storm through the hospital. All it takes is a fat wad of bills and Jim is upgraded to a private suite in the hospital with as many visitors as he desires. Not ethical, not fair but Duncan Shepherd has never done fair before. 

Y/N’s a mess, her cheeks crusted with dry mascara and eyes that look like two massive bruises. Her make-up’s run together from wiping at her eyes and she won’t accept any of Duncan’s tissues. Her sole focus is on Jim Mason, on finding him. Y/N drags Duncan through corridor after corridor till they find Medina waiting outside. She knows who they are, or at least who Y/N is. Intelligence so fierce sparkles in her eyes and Duncan is instantly transported to Annette and how she looks at him with that eagle eyed glare. 

‘You’re Y/N?’ Medina asks, standing at once. She takes in the state Y/N’s in, ‘Jim uh…he has a picture of you two as his background, on his phone.’ 

Duncan bites down hard on his lip, hard enough that he can taste blood.

Of Y/N, not him.

‘Is he…okay?’

Medina nods, ‘He’s gonna be fine.’

Duncan’s hand finds Y/N’s back, ‘Go in.’ He encourages, ‘I…I should wait.’

Y/N takes his hand, ‘Wait?’

‘After…everything.’

Understanding dawns on her. Y/N pulls him closer as if she’s considering something, but her eyes slide to Medina and then she’s gone, disappearing into Jim’s room. 

Duncan’s eyes fall to the two of plastic chairs sat just outside Jim’s room. Medina kicks her legs about, avoiding eye contact with him for a while. ‘So who are you?’

He wants to tell her. That he loves her brother so fucking much and how he fucking ran to hail a taxi on hearing the news. Duncan plasters a smile on his face, ‘Just a friend.’

Medina nods and Duncan thinks he’s got away with it, but then Medina cocks her head to the side. ‘A friend like Michael is?’ She laughs a hollow, low sound. ‘You clear don’t have siblings. Never-mind a twin.’ 

It’s the first time he’s let himself smile since news came. They fall into silence, Duncan staring at the door to Jim’s room while his mind races through today. Meeting with Y/N, taking her and how fucking incredible it felt to be completely encased in her again. Draining the champagne together while they both lay, languid and saited in each others arms. God, it was like the cheesiest romance movie. Until Michael’s call came, shattering Duncan’s perfect illusion and bringing them crashing to earth. 

Jim, overdosed, in hospital.

He’d nearly abandoned Y/N all together in his frenzy to dress, grab his wallet, phone. His mind was only on getting to UCLA Medical as quick as he could, forgetting the young woman crying on the bed. Duncan had been forced to dress her, Y/N beside herself as she spluttered her thoughts out to both of them. He’d fought back his own tears in the taxi and Duncan closes his eyes to stop them from spilling forth now.

Why had he left? Why had been so prideful? Why had he ever thought sleeping with Y/N was a good idea?

Because you missed her. His conscience has been nagging him constantly, You wanted her, to be the one to get her back. To claim her. To rub it in Jim’s face.

It’s sick, it’s so fucking cruel of him to tangle his heart with Y/N’s again. No, he hadn’t expected those feelings to slam into him again, to look down at her and have missed her warm body against his, how she smiled up at him and made Duncan forget he wasn’t wanted by his family. That he was the black sheep, the outcast. With Y/N he was just Duncan, accepted. 

When he looks up, Medina’s gone and Duncan can finally wipe away the tears that are threatening to fall. He takes his time, rubbing his eyes till they’re raw and little stars dance across his vision. Duncan knows what to expect when he’s looking up, so he stands and brushes his coat down and looks up into the eyes of Michael Langdon. 

You cradle Jim’s face in your hands, ‘Hi, Jimmy.’

He cracks a smile, ‘You came.’

‘Of course I did.’ Your thumbs stroke his cheeks, ‘Jim, you stupid stupid boy.’

‘M sorry.’ Jim’s eyes burn into yours, ‘I just….’

‘What?’

‘Didn’t see anything left for me.’ He confesses, ‘No reason to go on.’

You slide your hand down to rest on Jim’s heart, ‘Never, ever think that.’ 

Jim’s hand hovers over yours, ‘I’m so sorry I took you away.’ He says, ‘I panicked when I saw those plans…when Duncan-’

You hush him, not wanting Jim to work himself up again, ‘I know.’

’Now I’ve lost you.’ Jim mumbles, ‘All of you, maybe.’ You can’t bear the thought of it, of Jim ending his life because he thought no one loved him. A couple tears escape, dripping down your cheeks ’Don’t cry.’ He says, wiping them away. ‘You’re here now.’ 

‘You haven’t lost us.’ You reaffirm, ‘Duncan was trying not to cry in the taxi and Michael…well, he was the first person here.’

‘Where were you? Why didn’t you answer?’

You can’t tell him…can you? It would ruin him. You can see it in the way Jim leans forwards into your touch, the light back in his eyes. He looks at your as if you’re the sun, beaming and showering him in your warmth, ‘I was with Duncan.’ The admission falls out because you can’t hold back the truth. You can’t lie to Jim, the boy who was so scared to lose you he stole you, kicking off this entire fiasco. 

The life died in Jim’s eyes, ‘With Duncan.’

You tell him everything, the hours spent curled up and wan in Duncan’s arms flowing like a river from your lips. Jim listens to everything, silent and with a face of stone, ‘He fucked you.’

‘Mutual, uh…fucking.’ You correct, ‘It was never meant to happen like that.’

Jim considers you, his eyes roving from your eyes to how you’ve clenched your hands together, ‘Do you love him?’

You flex your hands, staring at your fingernails, ‘I don’t know.’

‘You used to.’

‘I love you all.’ You admit, ‘But I don’t think I should.’

‘Why?’

‘Because it’s not right.’

Your vision blurs with tears. Guilt eats away at you, ‘I’m so sorry, Jim.’ 

‘You don’t want the three of us?’ He summarises, ‘You want to start over? Fresh?’

‘No!’ You don’t think about it, you reach over and peck Jim’s lips. ‘I’ve only ever wanted things to be like how they were before.’ 

There’s a thud from the doorway that has you jump. Jim too glances over, ‘Well, at least I got us all together.’

You can’t help a chuckle, ‘You did that.’

‘Redeemed myself.’

Jim leans up, pushing his soft lips back onto yours. This time you pull away, ‘I can’t do that again, I’m living with Michael.’

‘Do that mean you two are off-’

‘No.’ You say quickly, ‘We haven’t done anything at all.’

It’s music to Jim’s ears, ‘Nothing?’

‘No, we’ve waited.’ 

Jim’s head falls to the side, ’And Duncan?’

You grimace, ’I’m sure he just did it to get back at you.’ It’s been floating round your head for a while, the elaborate set-up. Why Duncan would choose to woo you over Michael, why he would risk the Antichrist’s wrath. 

Jim’s persistent though, pushing himself up the bed and letting his fingers run up your arm, ‘Then what’s stopping us?’

You shudder under the oh so familiar touch, ‘Michael. I can’t hurt him anymore.’ Jim’s lips find your collarbone, his teeth rolling over the skin as he suckles it, ‘Jim. Stop.’

‘They don’t have to know.’

You feel a chill enter your bones, ‘No.’

Jim’s tongue slides all over your exposed skin, ‘I’ve wanted you for so long. Hungered after you, craved you.’

‘You’re not well.’ You excuse, ‘There’s still medicine in you probably, Jim. I can’t.’

Jim’s fingers dig into your arms, ‘You’re not leaving me again.’

Your mouth drops open a little, ‘I didn’t want to-’ But there’s a storm in Jim’s blue eyes, something dark. Something you’ve never seen directed at you, in fact the only time it’s ever been present is when Jim outed Duncan. 

Jim’s kisses remain feather-light, dropping down your arm to kiss your hand, then he starts on the other side. You let him, caught up in this Jim, the boy you haven’t seen before lurking underneath. ‘What are you doing?’

His teeth sink down, deep into your neck and the gasp that leaves you is high, the pain making your legs shake on the bed, ’Claiming what’s rightfully mine.’ When he breaks away, the skin on your neck is already beginning to bruise. The hickey is in plain sight, for all to see. There’s no hiding it, not from Duncan or from Michael. 

It’s exactly what Jim wanted. 

TAGGING: @michael-langdon-owns-my-soul @langdonsinferno @pastel-cloudz@misslanabananaa @lovelykhaleesiii napping-is-my-favorite @tickled–pinkmoodpoisoning@lvngdvns @ccodyfernn @asstichrist@yourkingcodyfern @langdonsdemon@satcnas @russianspacegeckosexparty @rosy-pugs @luxuryglitterhoe@langdonsoceaneyes @sodanova@petersfern-fics@avesatanormalpeoplescareme@sassylangdon @confettucini@sammythankyou @wroteclassicaly @Sloppy-Wrist @Langdonalien@alexcornerblog @sevenwondr @queencocoakimmie@sojournmichael @langdonsdemon@satcnas kinlovecody @kylosbabe @americanhorrorstudies@xxpixiefromdixiexx @elenareginaauditore @dadddysprincessss @gremlinkween@readsalot73 @astir-bread @i-will-die-for-jim-mason @ms-mead @mega-combusken@hanhanxx @kahhlo@thelangdoncooperative @sojournmichael@langdonsrapture @ritualmichael @cryptid-coalition @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26@infernal-langdon @jim-mason2@duncandimension @dark-jim@jimmlangdon @xtheinevitableprophecyx@moontheweirdpan @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown @bbyduncan @divinelangdon @theladynymph

[fimblo]

Observations and reflections - DevOpsDays Stockholm 2019

Last time I attended a DevOpsDays conference was in Gothenburg, 2011. At the time I worked as an Operations engineer, and the conference was really inspiring and useful for me for my day-to-day work.

When I heard that DevOpsDays was coming to Stockholm some six months ago, I decided to treat myself with it - with the hope that it would be just as good as last time. I had my doubts - after all, in the eight years since I last attended, I had worked mostly as a manager and toward the end, an Agile Coach.

I needn't have worried.

If you put lots of awesome people in a venue, give them space to talk, feed them and supply them with interesting subject matter in the form of presentations and lightning-talks, the result can't be anything less than motivating.

Here are some of my observations and reflections - some of them organisational, some of them technical, and the rest perhaps a little random.

The understanding of DevOps culture isn't as pervasive as I thought

After all my years at Spotify, where we built up this devops/agile/trust-based culture over time, it's easy to forget how it was at other workplaces. The wall between developers and operations. The paperwork and risks involved in deployments.

After working at a place where devops was so ingrained in how we worked, it became so easy to take it for granted. The problems some participants brought up in the Open Spaces were nightmarish - and I was surprised over how surprised I was.

It was a humbling experience.

Your "code" in your VCS for a project/epic should (must) be more than just the business logic. Your code needs to include config, tests, deployment logic etc.

This should be obvious, but I guess it isn't in some orgs. If you need to go back in time in your VCS to get a earlier working version of your project, you'll likely want to see how that version of your business logic was brought to life in prod.

DevOps is a culture where everyone works together to deliver and operate a feature for the customer.

… and automate the crap out of everything.

If your Definition of Done doesn't include the code hitting prod, you're misleading yourself.

Also, something something "adoption by at least one user"

If you have a dedicated DevOps team alongside your Ops, Dev and QA teams, you're doing it wrong.

… congrats, you just added another silo in your org.

Overheard: References to "Accelerate" by Nicole Forsgren et al

… awesome book, not surprised it came up here. If you haven't read it and you're an engineer(developer,sysadmin,tester,etc), or you're a manager or agile coach, it's definitely worth the read.

Some participants didn't see the connection between Agile/lean and DevOps

… while for others, of course, it was so obvious that it was difficult to explain, much like a mathematical axiom. Both require concepts such as:

Continuous improvement through reflection, sharing, and experimentation

Relationships based on trust

Feedback culture between individuals and teams

Failing fast.

Two different mindsets in orgs: Role and Mission mindset

Role mindset: I do what my role prescribes. This works (?) in orgs operating in ossified commodities markets, where the org/product/technology doesn't change very often.

Mission mindset: I do what I can to achieve the mission. This mindset works if you're doing something new, experimental, or risky. If you don't know what the market will look like tomorrow. Why limit yourself to a role generated by an organisational system designed (even with the best of intents) to solve yesterday's problems?

Overheard about hypergrowth: Throwing people at a problem only introduces more handovers.

Fun way of expressing the problem. Here are my thoughts on what happened during early Spotify days on the matter:

Growing the engineering org to add capacity often leads to people using recruitment as an excuse to not have to sort and truncate the epic backlog, leading to an org unable or unused to the difficult task of prioritisation and saying no to important initiatives.

Also, hypergrowth will unfortunately lower capacity initially thanks to time spent on recruitment and onboarding. The more you hire during a short period, the deeper and longer the cost in capacity. Also, # of incidents due to lack of tactile knowledge will rise, pulling focus away from new deliveries in favour of stabilising the system.

Was surprised when I found out that a Post-mortem at Google was a document, not a meeting

At Spotify, the term "Post-mortem" refers primarily to a meeting. At Google, it refers to a document. The purpose of the two are the same - to fix the root cause(s) and enable learnings from failures. The main difference IMO seems to be the scope of the post-mortem. At Google, the post-mortem document is written primarily by one person and shared with the whole org and posterity. At Spotify, the result of a post-mortem is a shared understanding among engineers and stakeholders of why and how the system failed. The focus is on raising empathy thereby lowering the threshold for sharing learnings in person.

Even if I knew that Google conducted post-mortems, it had never occurred to me that it could be done differently. How many other assumptions have I made over the years?

Overheard: Can DevOps culture happen in a centralised command-and-control org?

This question was discussed or touched upon multiple times during the two days, and the discussions leaned strongly toward the opinion that the engineers who write, test, deploy and maintain the code are best suited to make the decisions necessary to do their work. If they are given relevant information (business info, purpose of the project, who the end-users are, budget, etc) they will make good decisions.

My own musings on giving people mandate, or empowering people:

What we want to do to enable the above is to remove the obstacles which hinder people's natural propensity to take initiative. If you are discussing 'giving mandate' or 'empowering' your staff, there's already something iffy IMO. Mandate isn't something which is given - it's something humans innately possess. Instead of telling someone they now have mandate, consider how your organisation removes mandate from a person. What control mechanisms do you have in place? Identify these, and for each consider why said mechanism is in place. What problem did they solve? Is the problem still a thing? Is there another way of solving the problem without depriving mandate from your teams?

Also - What is the social cost of failure in your org? How do formal and informal leaders react to failure? People can have all the mandate in the world and still feel disempowered if they are scared of public shaming.

Overheard: "Distributed monolith"

In the attempt to transform a backend from monolith to microservice, there's a risk of ending up with a distributed monolith - where one suffers the disadvantages of both monolith and microservices.

If your microservices operate with knowledge of the internals of other services,

If your microservices know what services exist upstream,

If many microservices share a database (or worse, share tables (or gasp, write to the same tables)

… then you probably operate a Distributed Monolith.

On scary deployments

Fear of failure drives out creativity and smothers innovation. And you're likely to be working in an environment where innovation and creativity is paramount. Fear isn't binary - it's a spectrum with with gradually increasing magnitudes - from slight nervousness all the way up to sheer panic. So you might not be terrified when about to deploy something to prod, but anxious. Or nervous.

But this tension shifts our focus from what we like to do - create, experiment and learn. From the company perspective, the fear of failure in teams leads to deploys once every couple months, during a weekend, in the middle of the night.

So what we want to do is change how we do things to decrease our fear and raise our confidence. Each thing below can help you and your team do this:

Release smaller changes: This will make it easier to review your code and understand it. Also, the potential risk of failure becomes smaller since the release is a small one.

Release often to production: You'll find bugs in your release process much more often if you go from one release a month to multiple a day. And you'll start to trust your process more if you do it often,

Automate your release process to reduce human error.

Use feature flags to apply your changes to a smaller demographic, and to be able to decouple deployment of code from when it impacts the user.

Write tests to verify the knowns.

Ensure that monitoring of the service exists from the get-go to detect early signs of system failure or degradation and to get data for troubleshooting and later, for your blameless post-mortem.

All in all, the conference was fun and inspirational. It felt good to be able to both learn from others and at other times, to share my experience and thoughts with others. 10/10, will definitely do this again :)

#devops #devopsdays

[bounnostra]

bluebell O bamble O chapter 1 trial O re: hootie hoo attn: sort of anyone who sparred with runa/saw the knife/saw people during motive

“...Hey. Ana. I got some more paper for you here. Haven’t even been using it myself this whole trial, so. May as well donate it to a good cause.”

Because among all of this bullshit that kept falling off rails and landing miraculously on even more disastrous ones - around cards to vote for gangs and names and a Grand Don and questions to weirdly pleased murder owls - what easier thing to focus on than something as mundane as noticing one of the more chill people she’d spoken to was struggling a bit with paper?

A word with her hoot produced a journal that, true to form, Bams didn’t appear to have been using for notes this trial at all. Still, she took a moment with the attached pen to scribble something out (accompanied by a shake of her head, as you might rereading an idea that sounded fucking genius at 3am but doesn’t hold up in the light of day) before ripping out a few sheets of paper, reaching across the table as far as she could to slide the paper donation to Anastasia. 

...Okay. Enough procrastinating. he should probably address their latest runaway train. 

“Look. Guys. I’m going back to short sentences again because honestly, my brain is short circuiting on this one. But you all heard Gambit just now, right. If, you know. The one who seems to know far too much about all the bullshit here is hinting in no uncertain terms we should leave alone the how it happened and cycle to the why. We should... probably do that?” 

“...Which would take us mostly back to our behaviour during the motive, surely. Because even if we just shrugged and said ‘well duh, Bams, they killed because we would forget everything, go play a video game’, it probably should still be acknowledged that we were being twisted into forms more suitable for a murder game. Even if I want to just really put myself out there and suggest that our killer possibly wasn’t one of the ones losing themselves much faster than others, what with this whole knife going missing early thing. In terms of why Runa, well. For one thing, I talked to her on the first day of the motive and one or two times before that. She was really of the opinion than this scenario wasn’t anything bad and that the whole idea of someone murdering another person could be circumvented in weird ways. Even came to apologise to me for not thinking this was serious. If you were going to be looking for someone to kill that wasn’t expecting it. Runa’s unfortunately seemed all too good a bet.” 

“Out of the people I saw during this motive, though. Not sure how much useful information I have. Can at least confirm that Mav was pretty much a man of the woods just as he said, because he tried to shoot me in a similar way too. Just classmates hanging out in a normal way. Duck I think a bunch of us saw, since, you know. She was hanging out on the chandelier playing vampire but being super weak about it. Not really in the easiest position to kill someone by the lake in.” 

Bams took a brief pause to idly rub at her wrist. 

“Rookie and Ivey between them seemed to be on some kind of individual superhero kick, I guess would be the term. Unless Runa was clearly being evil in a way directly in front of their faces, not sure that helps. Pip I found in the graveyard training rats to sing and looking far too scientific for such an activity. I don’t fucking know either. Sea and Orwell I only saw briefly at the vampire duck’s altar. But Sea just seemed like he wouldn’t be too out of place sneering ‘later losers’ as he skateboards out of frame in some shitty American teen film after stealing a nerd’s lunch money. Orwell seemed like the rule-sticking nerd that could’ve had his lunch money stolen. But like, weirdly robot oriented. Right down to saying he didn’t have blood and all. Least that deals with his fear of blood, I guess. Not a bad deal.”

Strangely for a girl of her profession, Bams’ mere discussion of Orwell’s mental shift into being a robot caused her to shudder; all too visible an action even if she tried to disguise it by folding her arms that little bit tighter. Still, it seemed to give her time she needed to think, and her head tipped in curiosity with her gaze a little more directed at Orwell. 

“...You know. There’s a bunch of weird rules by the lake. Don’t swim after dusk, don’t use it as a bathroom, that kind of thing. One of them tells us ‘Only you can prevent shoreline fires’. Is fire safety something a robot who previously gave two shits about alcohol ID and party permissions. Whether Runa found the killer on her walk and she got a bit wild or if she had already started a fire. Either way. Actually, about the wild thing. How many people tried to spar with Runa, exactly? Was this just a preferred activity of hers, or. Yeah. Uh. Maybe I should’ve gone with that rather than assuming reckless fire safety. Orwell’s probably gone through the wringer enough right now, huh. Speaking of fighting though. How easy is it to catch a punch? Can't say I've ever tried.” 

Moving... very swiftly on from accusing her roommate of being a rule-sticking nerd, then.

“Can anyone confirm where the ‘DO NOT USE THIS’ note was before we found it in the pot, by the way. Was it already crunched around the handle and the killer may have just not seen it? Or was it somewhere else entirely. Like put as a warning to try and deter people, or something. If it was put there as a deterrent for us using things that could kill someone, surely there would've been more around the place. I don’t know. I guess I’m just super stuck on the fact that, whichever way we look at it, this knife was taken down to the woods today.” 

#boun #ch1 #obama #submission

[especially-heinous-ada]

A Police Gala, pt. 13

I’m BACK! *bursts through door* I have returned from my hiatus, with a somewhat long Chapter 13 of APG. Just in time to celebrate my 200 followers milestone! Yaaay! I love you, everyone! Thank you for the support! 

Approximately 2600 words. In this Chapter, Rafael attends Kazuma’s dinner party, determined to find out once and for all whether his mysterious neighbor can truly be trusted. 

As always, feel free to holla at me in the comments, and I’ll do my best to holler back at everyone. I love reading everyone’s reactions. :) It motivates my writer’s soul. Lol. For any new readers, you can find the first 12 Chapters here.

And so, here it was: the eve of the highly-anticipated dinner party. Rafael anxiously pulled at his tie for practically the twentieth time that night. This had to go well. He had to get Kazuma’s fingerprints so that he could figure out who this mysterious neighbor really was. The safety of the both of you depended on it. It was all he was able to think about at the office today, resulting in an unproductive day of obsession and worry. Accordingly, he was in a rather foul mood.

He had bid his goodbye to you and sent you off with your police detail and a bodyguard quite some time ago now and you weren’t due back until near midnight. Rafael had explained the dinner party business to you and although you weren’t overly enthused about the idea, you agreed it was important to know who you were dealing with—especially given your circumstances.

The lack of your presence was certainly not helping Rafael’s mood. Feeling quite like a massive bundle of nerves, he paced back and forth, mind racing a mile a minute. It was the only thing he could do to try and calm himself.

“Damn it, where is he?” Rafael thought aloud.

Almost as if on cue, a rap came at the front door. Like a spring-loaded trap, the sound caused Rafael to launch into action. He lunged to the door, pulling it open to reveal Sonny Carisi.

“Hey, Barba. Sorry if I’m late, but that’s kinda the point, isn’t it?” Carisi laughed. Although he was relieved to see Sonny, Rafael’s sour mood didn’t sweeten much at the sight. He was still too wound up about going into the enemy’s lair.

“Let’s just go.” Rafael grumbled, pushing past Carisi into the hallway.

“And Y/N is gone for the night, right?”

“Yes, she’s out with some girlfriends. Rollins said they won’t be back until midnight, so no need to worry.” Carisi nodded as they stepped in front of Kazuma’s door. Rafael let out a massive sigh before knocking loudly.

A few beats passed and the door swung open. Behind it stood Kazuma, dressed in the suit he had picked up from the boutique that eventful day. Rafael’s eyes narrowed.

“You like it?” Kazuma asked with a smile, noticing Rafael’s focus.

“Oh, yes. Very stylish.” Rafael answered halfheartedly. In truth, it was a beautiful suit, however, he wondered if there was a purpose in Kazuma’s choice of attire tonight. Perhaps it was intended as a warning.

“Come on in, Rafael.” Kazuma invited. His gaze then turned to Carisi and he frowned. “And who is this?”

“Ah. This is my friend, Sonny. Y/N couldn’t make it on such short notice—she already made plans—but she sends her regards. I assumed you wouldn’t mind me inviting someone else, since you’d offered the option of a plus-one?”

Kazuma chuckled, motioning for the two to come inside. Once he closed the door behind them, he turned back to face the two.

“Well, I suppose it’s fitting, given the circumstances. My girlfriend couldn’t make it tonight, either; had to put in some overtime. Business is booming this time of year.”

Rafael’s eyes narrowed. How convenient that Kazuma’s girlfriend mysteriously couldn’t make it. Though he was probably thinking the same about your absence. As the three moved into the dining area, Rafael’s gaze darted to the table, where he found only three place settings.

Had Kazuma put away the fourth when his girlfriend called to cancel? Was there ever even a girlfriend to begin with, or was it his way of luring you into his apartment? Well, two could play the manipulation game; this was Rafael’s chance to search the premises without needing a warrant and an assist from the NYPD. Now it was time he took the matter into his own hands, he thought, as he chose a place setting to sit in front of.

“Sorry the place settings are right next to each other; I set it thinking it would be you and your lady friend.” Kazuma apologized, taking his seat at the head of the table. “Feel free to move around if it makes you more comfortable.”

Carisi took him up on the offer and slid his setting to an open chair across the table. When all three were seated, Kazuma raised a hand and snapped his fingers twice. A door on the other side of the room flew open and out emerged a chef with a large, covered platter. He hurried to the table and set the platter down, removing the lid and revealing a delectably cooked roast.

The scent that rushed out when the roast was exposed was intoxicating. Rafael hadn’t eaten since that morning; he was too worried about tonight. For a brief moment, his hunger made him forget the true reason he was here. The chef then busied himself with pouring each man a glass of wine.

“That roast looks delicious,” Carisi announced, “My compliments to the chef.” Having finished pouring, the chef set down the bottle and gave a small, awkward bow, seeing himself out of the room.”

“A private chef? I’m flattered. That couldn’t have been cheap.” Rafael schmoozed, wanting to keep his host in a good mood.

“Ah, well—he’s my own, personal chef. I’m a terrible cook.” Kazuma chuckled. Rafael and Sonny both joined in, though to varying degrees of sincerity.

Piercing through the laughter in the room, a phone rang loudly.

“Oh, that’s me.” Kazuma said, retrieving his cell phone from the breast pocket of his suit. Glancing at the caller ID, he stood. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to take this—an important business call.”

“That’s alright, we get it.” Carisi replied diplomatically before Kazuma dismissed himself from the room. Rafael downed his glass of wine.

Sure. Right. ‘Business call.’ Rafael scoffed inside his head, though he gave no outward sign he disbelieved the legitimacy of Kazuma’s “business.” He had become skilled at hiding his inner thoughts as a result of his years in the courtroom. Attorneys whose emotions got the better of them always had a tell that could be used against them, but not Rafael.

No sooner did the door swing shut after Kazuma than Rafael and Sonny stood to begin searching their surroundings. Deciding it would be better to split up and cover more ground, Rafael went back out to the living room area. He needed an item that would have a clear fingerprint from Kazuma on it.

The remote? No; that gets used too much. He’d know it was missing for sure.

They needed something used often enough for him to leave prints on, but not so often as to be obviously missing following their friendly visit. Rafael’s eyes darted around the room, searching for a viable option, when suddenly, they froze on a small, black picture frame on a shelf. He stepped forward to get a better look.

There were two young boys. They appeared to be sitting on a set of rusty, worn out swings at a park. One wore an ear-to-ear smile and the other an “I’m-too-cool-for-this” sneer. It was a look he’d seen often growing up, from the wannabe gangsters of his neighborhood.

Kazuma has children? No. They can’t be his; they’d have to be about ten, and there’s no way he’s old enough for that unless he became a father before 18. Not that it’s unheard of, but I don’t see him as that type.

Frowning, Rafael pondered the photo a moment more before Carisi entered the room.

“I think we should sit back down before he—those his kids?” Rafael shook his head.

“I don’t think so. But we can’t rule it out for certain unless we ask him… which we can’t do, because he can’t know we’ve been poking around.”

“I couldn’t find anything good in there. It’s all expensive—way too conspicuous if I take it. What about you?”

“I haven’t been able to find—” Rafael was halfway through his sentence when Kazuma walked through the doorway. “—the bathroom.” He altered, seeing Kazuma’s figure appear. Carisi frowned, not having seen Kazuma enter the room. Rafael’s eyes darted toward the doorway to send Carisi a nonverbal message. Luckily for him, Carisi understood and turned, seeing Kazuma for the first time since he’d entered.

“Hey, uh, Kazuma, where’s your bathroom?” He asked. “We’ve been trying to find it. I’ve been holding it all through dinner.”

“Well it’s right over—” Carisi’s cell phone began to blare in his pocket. Alarmed, he reached for it and answered instantly, cutting Kazuma off.

“Carisi.” He announced. In the silence of the room, Rafael could hear a woman’s voice barking orders on the other line—Liv.

“Right. You got it, Lieu. I’ll be right there.” Oh, no. Sonny ended the call, stuffing the phone back into his pocket and darting his gaze back and forth between Rafael’s and Kazuma’s faces. “I gotta go; there’s an emergency. They need me at the precinct.” Kazuma frowned.

“How disappointing.” He turned to Rafael. “Well, I guess it’ll just be me and you dining tonight.” Rafael shot an exasperated look at Sonny, who sent an apologetic one back before rounding and exiting the apartment. Rafael cursed his rotten luck; neither he nor Sonny had been able to secure a fingerprint during the search.

Kazuma motioned toward the dining room and, resigned, Rafael re-entered the room, taking his seat once more at the table. Grabbing the wine bottle, he poured himself another glass, downing it quickly in frustration. The two resumed eating and it was silent for what seemed an eternity. The waiter brought out a second bottle of wine and Rafael sipped at a third glass, when Kazuma finally broke the silence.

“So. How long have you been dating Y/N?” Caught off guard, Rafael stuttered slightly, setting down the glass before managing a coherent response.

“Ah—it’s still pretty new.” Kazuma nodded.

“And what’s that like? Dating a celebrity?” Rafael cleared his throat before answering.

“She’s amazing—practically perfect in every way.” He mused, unable to hold back a proud smile.

“I have to say, I’m in awe of you. How did you get a woman like that? I mean, she’s a literal supermodel.”

“Uh, luck?” Rafael chuckled, lifting a brow. All these questions about you were setting off alarm bells in his mind. Why was Kazuma so curious about you? He’d better keep his answers short and vague. Kazuma opened his mouth once again, but before he could say a word, a loud clattering sounded off in the distance and a woman’s voice cried out. The two men instantly turned their attention toward the noise, standing and moving to the exit of the apartment. Once Rafael stepped into the hallway, he saw the source of the commotion.

On the floor outside his apartment was a tangled mass of limbs. Three women were in a pile after, he supposed, tripping and falling atop one another. At the bottom of the pile, he spotted you. His heart skipped a beat and he rushed to pull you free.

“Ow.” You muttered as he stood you up, pulling you in to lean against his chest for support.

“Y/N. Are you alright?” Rafael asked, nervous for your safety. You looked up at him. It seemed to take you a few moments to recognize him, but when you did, you beamed brightly.

“Heyyy, Rafael.” You giggled, swaying in place a bit. Rafael could detect the smell of alcohol on your breath. He frowned. Now was not a good time to walk around inebriated. Though, he couldn’t say he blamed you for wanting to drink and forget your litany of worries. He sighed.

“You scared me.” You frowned.

“I’m sorry, Rafi.” By now, the other girls had stirred to their feet.

“Where’s Amanda?” Rafael urged, trying not to make it obvious he was referring to Rollins, who was supposed to be your detail for the night. You giggled again.

“We gave her the slipppp~”

Kazuma chuckled.

“Looks like you’ve got your hands full there, Rafael.” He said, raising his eyebrows. “How about we just call a raincheck on dinner?” Rafael gave a quick nod of agreement before turning back to you, sweeping you into his arms.

Oooh, he’s so warm. You thought, as you felt Rafael cradle you in his arms. You felt a little disoriented. The room seemed to swirl and sway around you, but you trusted Rafael’s steady strength. You could hear his dress shoes clack across the hardwood of his apartment as he moved. A long, slow creaking noise signaled that he had gently pushed the bedroom door open.

How come he always seemed to be carrying you into the bedroom? You pondered for a fraction of a moment before deciding you didn’t care. Being doted on by Rafael was the best thing ever, in your mind. You let out a big, contented sigh, throwing your arms around his neck. He stopped in place and looked into your eyes.

Those lively, stunning eyes. He knew he’d never get over them. As worried as he’d been when he’d found you out in the hallway, he was relieved to see you again. To hold you close and feel your reassuring warmth. As he laid you down on the bed and loosened your arms from his neck, he couldn’t help but wonder who was rescuing who in this situation.

“I loooove youuuuuu~” you sang through a cheesy grin as you looked up at Rafael from where he sat down next to you on the bed. “You’re the greatest.” He couldn’t help but laugh, laying back and settling in next to you.

“The greatest what?” He prompted, needing an ego boost after the day he’d had.

“The greatest everything!” You responded, snuggling into him. He let out an amused sigh as you slung a leg over him, pulling him closer. “My everything, and the greatest~”

Though it didn’t entirely make sense, Rafael was still flattered by your tipsy singing. It was dangerous for you to be drunk while dangerous men prowled the streets, waiting to exact revenge. He was petrified when he’d seen that Rollins was missing from your company. However, despite all that, he was glad you’d been able to have fun and escape the terrifying reality of your current situation, if only for a short time.

“Rafi’s the beeest~! Best around! Boyfriend in tooown~!” You sang quietly, though enthusiastically, and the vibrations rumbled into Rafael’s chest, creating a pleasant, heartwarming sensation. His eyes fluttered shut for just a moment before his phone sounded off in his breast pocket. He reached for it without opening his eyes and held it to his ear, answering absentmindedly, unwilling to pull himself from the contentment of this moment. His face felt warm, and he wasn’t sure if the heat was caused by you, or the wine.

“Barba.” He answered lazily.

“Oh, my god, Barba, it’s Y/N! She—!”

“I know, Rollins, she’s with me.” Rafael knowingly eased. Rollins let out a massive sigh of relief from the other end.

“That girl is going to give me a heart attack. You’ve really got your hands full with that one, you know that?” Amused, Rafael let out a single chuckle—a quick, sharp exhale of air.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” You gave a dainty little yawn and stretched before returning to your tired, inebriated, almost whisper-like singing. “You headed over to guard the apartment?”

“I’m about to step into the elevator. You’re probably safe going to sleep now, if you’re tired. I’ll be in in a few.”

“That’s alright, I don’t think I’m going to be sleeping any time soon, if Y/N gets her way.” You giggled as you climbed on top of him. “Speaking of which, you should probably wait outside for a while before coming in.” He added as you tossed your dress to the floor beside the bed.

“Gross, Barba.”

He hung up the phone with a grin, wondering how he ever got so lucky as he looked up at you straddling him.

#barba x reader #svu fanfic #a police gala #part 13 #action #drama

[shadesofdeviant]

My Body Is A Cage, But My Mind Holds The Key --| Chapter 1.

Pairing: Connor x Markus Rating: Mature

Connor Stern is a technological engineer and lineage acquisition programmer working on perfecting the Animus project for Abstergo Industries, when he is granted first hand experience of its work on "Subject 200" also known as Markus Manfred. But as the pair of them delve into the history of Markus' Brotherhood ancestors, secrets come to light, dangerous discoveries are made and somehow along the way, hearts are exchanged.

Detroit: Become Human AU set in an alternate Assassin's Creed Universe.

Can be read here or over on AO3 or FF.Net whichever you prefer.

The languid legato of a violin concerto echoed around the frosted glass walls of the laboratory, originating from the old-fashioned docking system dwarfed amongst the rest of the machinery where an incredibly scuffed once-blue iPod sat persevering through a now familiar playlist despite the early hour of the morning. The majority of the laboratory was taken over by a large ergonomically shaped examination table, clearly designed for its extended periods of usage; the thick coaxial cables that had originally remained hidden beneath the chassis of the machinery connecting monitors to transmitters were now snaked across the slate tiled flooring, whilst various components, processors and circuitries lay scattered like forgotten Christmas gifts. Yet despite this, Connor had somehow managed to not only find enough space to sit comfortably but to fan out blueprints, data sheets and printouts around him on the floor.

Fingers tapping idly against his kneecap on the beat as the next movement of music began with an up-tempo staccato display of the unknown musician’s dexterity, Connor took a moment to blindly reach for his flask of coffee and swallow a large mouthful before returning to his work. His eyes, narrowed and sharp, scanning rows upon rows of painstakingly typed coding, trying to find something—anything—that could be adjusted without ruining the overall functionality of the systems. He was close to finding it, he knew he was, and he was determined to find it tonight, even as his eyes started to burn from the strain.

Ever since he’d graduated with honours from University, proudly holding a double major in Computer Engineering and Computer Science, Connor had felt like he was starting to climb the walls in boredom from a lack of mental stimulation when he moved from job to job over the years as each one failed to mentally satisfy him. His Mother, sick of coming home to find various appliances, tablets and computer devices in pieces because he’d torn them apart simply to put them back together again, managed to secure him a job at her company researching a way to enhance and perfect their technology. She had originally suggested it simply to placate his need for intellectual activities with the hopes he would get his fill during the day and become less of a nuisance at home; she probably hadn’t quite meant for him to be holed up at 3am running on caffeine, on the verge of pulling his hair out because he just couldn’t see where the issue was.

Connor had always held a fascination for the work of the company his Mother worked for, his extensive intelligence and need for stimuli had led to Connor branching out into various fields throughout his educational years; teaching himself languages and conducting little scientific experiments, learning to play a variety of instruments and delving deep into history. And it had been the last one which had led Connor to an article debating the potential of Abstergo Industries attempts to extract ancestral memories from a subject’s DNA and utilising them to get personal insights of history, the likes of which have never been achieved before. The name of the company had leapt out at him, and it had been with a strangely emotional lump in his throat, that Connor had raced to his Mother’s study and rather unceremoniously stuffed the holopad displaying the article under her nose and asked if it was the company she worked for.

She’d quickly confirmed his queries and had even offered to let him take a look at the coding and blueprints for the machinery they’d been using for years to see what he thought of them, without him needing to ask. Of course, at age 17 Connor hadn’t quite realised it had been a test, even as his Mother placed everything across the table in front of him like an intellectual feast and perched almost regally opposite him. Not even as she’d so readily given up confidential answers to his curious questions, her eyes glinting when Connor had grabbed his holopad and started to make annotations on what he would potentially change to have the programs working more efficiently—and that had been before he’d even started University.

The idea of the “Animus”, as his Mother later informed him of its project name, was absolutely fascinating to him. Memories extracted from a person’s DNA, through their genetics passed down from generation to generation, using that to search back hundreds or potentially thousands of years to find out where they really came from, to experience first-hand what life was like in those ancestral times and to aid in the development of a greater historical understanding of the world. The potential was endless, all those minute details that were lost in history: colloquialisms and stereotypes, personal things that were not deemed important enough to scholars, philosophers or artists of the time and consequentially lost forever, could be re-discovered.

So, when the opportunity to join the company had been presented to him, with the stipulation that his role would solely focus around the Animus project, Connor had almost ripped his Mother’s hand off in his eagerness to agree. All Connor wanted was to help history expand the way technology had, it was 2038 and yet there was still so much that was impossible to work out in history. So many mysteries still remained unsolved: where was Cleopatra buried? Who was Jack the Ripper? Who actually killed JFK? Did Atlantis ever exist? And Connor was determined to solve them all. And now, as his ID badge proudly stated 'Connor Stern: Technological Engineer and Lineage Acquisition Programmer', he could potentially do that. However, he hadn’t been granted access to the previous subjects involved in the project, so whilst he was trying to find what could be altered to ease the acquisition and exploration of the DNA memories, he didn’t truly have any data on what needed altering and that was where his frustration lay.

As the staggered pattern of detaché style notes suddenly cut off mid-bar, Connor’s head snapped up in aggravation, a curse forming across his lips as the instantaneous ringing silence cut off his train of thought just as swiftly, only for it to promptly drop into oblivion at the form stood framed inside the now open doorway. His Mother, stood draped in the long flowing multi-layered satin of her tunics, in shades that complimented the cool almost silver undertones to her rich brown skin; the deep fires in the smoky quartz jewels of her eyes and the meticulously braided charcoal of her hair only adding to the constant regal elegance of her figure as she peered down at him in disapproval.

“Connor, what are you doing?” She questioned, the tone of her voice almost cutting through him like a knife despite the lack of force or volume behind it. He was almost thirty-one years old and yet that lilt to her voice still made him feel like a pre-pubescent being scolded for not doing his homework on time. “It is nearly four in the morning, and you’re broadcasting this cheap imitation of an Antonio Vivaldi masterpiece without any kind of consideration for the rest of the staff still working.”

“Excuse me, Professor Stern. But I made sure to adjust the insulation of the room accordingly before I allowed my music to start playing. The docking system is running at sixty percent of what it normally does during official working hours and the nearest co-worker is two corridors away and often uses sound cancelling headphones to help himself concentrate on his work.” Connor explained as he scrambled to his feet, slightly less smoothly than anticipated as his legs protested from being curled under him for so long, knowing better than to refer to the woman as ‘Mother’ when she was visiting him at work. Even if he was off the clock.

His Mother didn’t speak for a moment, her shoulders rolling back slightly as she drew herself up defensively at the fact he’d had the gall to answer her back without so much as an apology, before Connor watched as her eyes flitted around the frosted walls of the laboratory and round onto the small electronic panel screen beside her at the door informing everyone who looked at it, that the room was now fully sound-proof insulated. A sharp exhale from the strong line of her nose is the only indication she’s accepted his explanation before she was turning her focus solely back onto him once again.

“That still does not tell me what you are doing here at four in the morning when you supposedly finished at 9pm yesterday and aren’t due back in until 9am today.” She repeated, the bite to her words lessening as she allowed her arms to unfold and to gracefully manoeuvre to rest on Connor’s shoulders in a rare sign of concern. “You have been warned before about the dangers of overworking yourself, and if your health takes another setback I will have to discontinue your involvement with this project.”

“What?! No Amanda—You can’t do that! Not when I’m so close to perfecting the program!” Connor’s heart clenched tightly in his throat as he moved to quickly clasp her hands beneath his, taking them from his shoulders to hold them close to his chest as he intertwined their fingers, stepping closer to his Mother, his own Umber brown eyes shining as he pleaded silently with her, not missing the way her gaze lowered to the contrasting hue of his pale ivory fingers curled around her own.

That was another reason Connor hadn’t succeeded in perfecting the software yet; his health. Ever since he’d been a young child he had suffered with his lungs and immune system, having to be home schooled with private tutors for vast amounts of his childhood because he had simply been too ill to risk leaving the house for up to ten hours a day for school. But with the familiarity of his problems, came an almost resigned apathy from his Mother, where she became so accustomed to him rapidly becoming ill that it stopped worrying her and she simply stepped away for a few moments to notify the school and organise his tutors once again, before she was sweeping off to work in a swirl of satin without so much as a backwards glance to his bed-ridden frame.

In fact, the only time he could recall seeing her worried about him had been when the new Sports teacher at School had refused to accept he was too ill to participate, called him a liar trying to get out of class, and promptly forced him to join in with the long run around the School campus. It hadn’t taken long for him to realise Connor was telling the truth once the young boy had promptly collapsed to the floor wheezing, his chest rattling as his lips turned blue from lack of oxygen, and it hadn’t been long before he’d been fired once Amanda came blazing into the nurses room where an Ambulance crew were working on trying to stabilise Connor and verbally ripped the poor man to shreds for his idiocy and demanded he be removed from the School. Yet, once again, when Connor was back home and feeling much better in himself, she simply left him to it and placed the phone within arms reach in case he needed to contact the emergency services should he have a relapse. So, it was strange to see her so concerned in that moment when he was feeling rather well in himself for a change.

Amanda had never been particularly driven by maternal instinct. For the majority of his childhood, Connor could barely recall referring to her by the moniker of Mother, choosing to instead simply called her by her given name and not seeing anything wrong with such an act even as the rest of the students—and some of the teachers and parents—gasped in horror at the idea of a child doing so. She wasn’t his Mother, so he had not seen the need to call her so, and Amanda had not seemed to wish to be referred to by such a title either, even after she made it official and adopted him into her family name.

Connor had come to her before he’d had time to properly settle into his first year of Kindergarten, bruised and shaken, wanting his Mother even though his young intelligent mind had already started to comprehend why she wasn’t here and why he was now with this strange woman. As he’d gotten older, he’d slowly been drip-fed information about his former life; his parents and himself had been driving towards the Canadian border to visit friends for the Christmas holidays when the car behind them had skidded on black ice and slammed into the back of their car, causing his Father to lose control and slip across the frozen road, only to break through the barrier separating road from hillside, the car had tumbled towards the frozen river, smashed through the ice despite how solid it should have been at that time of the year and rapidly started to sink.

Connor didn’t have any recollection of the accident, nothing remained except a lingering dislike of ice cold water, but Amanda had eventually confided in him that the car had been submerged for an incredibly long time, his Father had died on impact crushed beneath the crumpled front of the car where it had concertinaed back in on itself, whilst his Mother and he had been trapped, battered and broken as the water steadily filled the vehicle. The coastguard had been quick to respond, but the time it took for them to get into the necessary hypothermia prevention gear had allowed the car to completely fill with water that at its warmest temperature was just below freezing. Both Connor and his Mother had fallen unconscious by the time the divers reached them, and being a child, his retrieval had been prioritised, which had unfortunately left his Mother to suffer from irreparable damage that had ultimately claimed her life a few days later in Hospital.

Connor had remained unconscious for nearly two weeks, battling pneumonia and sepsis, body damaged from severe hypothermia and broken bones; but his young body was resilient and untainted by toxic substances that adults liked to fill their bodies with, and before long had started to show signs of improvement. But the whole experience had left him without a fully functioning immune system, weak bodied, asthmatic and prone to viruses and infections potentially for the rest of his life. The only reason he’d been given into Amanda’s care was that he had no extended family, and the only other family friends were up in Canada and couldn’t afford another child to care for. She’d clearly not wanted a child, even Connor at the tender age of five had been able to see that, but she’d still taken him in and kept him well fed, warm and safe and let him grow in a secure environment with the proper care in place for whenever he was at his lowest health wise. She might not have ever been overly affectionate towards him, and had only really started to take a proper interest in him when it became apparent that his IQ and general intelligence were far above average for his age, but she had gone out of her way to commission the pharmaceutical branch of Abstergo industries to create medication for him to help with his health issues. And that’s what mattered to Connor in the end.

“You keep saying you are close to perfecting it Connor, and yet I am not seeing any results.” Amanda’s voice turned sharp once again as she detangled her fingers from his own, her eyes narrowing in on the organised chaos of information scattered around them. “I’m starting to think this is too much for you to handle.”

“No! It’s not that. Amanda I—Professor Stern, I’ve requested on numerous occasions to be allowed to observe the Animus in use to see how the program properly worked, but yet you have refused my requests. How am I supposed to adjust it if I cannot see how it needs adjusting?” Connor sighed as he ran his fingers back through his hair, this argument had been going on ever since he joined the company, yet his Mother had remained stubborn in her refusal to let him observe a session. “If I’m not allowed to observe the Animus in work, can I at least test it out myself?”

“Absolutely not!” The venomous reaction to his question had Connor taking a slight step backwards in surprise, having not expected such a response from the usually stoic woman. “You are not healthy enough to use the program, it puts a lot of strain on a subject’s physicality and you would not be able to cope. I will not have a repeat of your childhood Connor!”

“I—My apologies Amanda. I just know that I will be able to adjust the systems and coding and software if I could see how they actually interact and work with each other when a subject is exploring their lineage.” He spoke softly as he shifted to play with the line of his work lanyard tucked beneath the material of his sweater to prevent it from swinging in his face, needing something to occupy his fingers whilst he tried to ignore the thick disappointment settling in his stomach at the idea that he’ll never get to experience the Animus for himself. “Please. I promise I will only need one observation and I’ll be able to use the printouts with much more efficiency and be able to upgrade the software.”

Without another word, Amanda turned and plucked a discarded holopad from the desk beside her, fingers delicately dancing across the screen and letting Connor suffer in silence for a few moments. His curiosity starting to creep out as he watched and waited to see what was going on, hating how his fidgeting only got worse the longer she left his plea hanging in the air between them but not daring to try and break the silence once again without permission.

However, as she handed the holopad to him, the page changing from the security access check screen to a new subject file, his eyes widened in surprise, not quite daring to hope that she was doing what he thought she was doing.

“You have permission to observe the first session with this new subject. He will be coming in tomorrow and is scheduled to be submerged in the Animus at nineteen hundred hours. I am granting you a great lenience here Connor, do not disappoint me because there will not be a second chance for this.” Amanda stated smoothly, before turning on her heel and stepping out of the laboratory, pausing before the door slid shut behind her to glare over her shoulder at him, a glare almost as strong as her parting words. “Now get home and go to sleep.”

“I-I will! I promise!” Connor called out to the room, his words ineffectual due to the sound-proofing preventing the sound from reaching his Mother on the other side of the door, but needing to voice his gratefulness regardless. Glancing down at the holopad, Connor couldn’t help the giddy giggle escaping him as he let his shaking fingers swipe along the screen to read over the information profile of who had been titled ‘Subject 200’, pausing to focus on the headshot at the top of the screen once he’d finished reading.

The male in question was six years older than him, skin a warm tawny golden-brown, hair shaved close to his scalp, combined with a strong jaw lightly dusted with stubble to give him an almost intimidating air, Connor having to take a second glance when he registered that the subject’s left eye was green and the right eye blue. A rarity that somehow seemed to fit into the man’s face and gave him an air of uniqueness and mystery and had Connor curious to see if heterochromia was a trait that was prevalent amongst his ancestors as well.

Gathering his stuff together, Connor almost reverently tucked the holopad into his bag before doing what he promised Amanda and finally heading back home, being careful not to jostle things too much in case he lost the profile access, whilst simultaneously trying to move as fast as he could possibly manage without looking suspicious, especially with how sensitive the information he’d been given was. It wasn’t until he’d finished sliding into the front seat of his car and setting it to auto-drive home before he risked retrieving the tablet once again, unlocking it and sighing in relief as the profile once again flashed onto the screen; setting it aside to retrieve his personal holopad which he always kept on him to make notes on and opening it to a new document with the intention of creating himself a checklist of potential things to watch out for whilst observing. Taking his time to carefully type out the man’s name as a heading, pressing each letter slowly as if expecting everything to be revealed as him waking from a dream with each syllable he completed. Letting out an irrational puff of air that he’d been holding to try and calm his nerves, Connor smiled as he stared down at the man’s name now typed out to completion at the head of his list, knowing tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

Markus Manfred.

#connor rk800 #markus rk200 #rk1k #rk1000 #rinwrites #connor x markus #Detroit: Become Human #Detroit: BH #DBH #fanfic #MBIAC

[floridaprelaw-blog]

Simone Biles Withdraws From Olympic Individual All-Around Competition

By John Famiglietti, Florida State University Class of 2021

July 28, 2021

Early Wednesday morning Simone Biles was seen doing something she had never done before. Arguably the greatest gymnast of all time was seen exiting the floor during the first rotation of the team final for team USA. The world wondered what could be the problem as some speculated that she had been injured on her previous vault in which she was set to attempt to do 2.5 twists, but only managed to pull off 1.5 with an awkward landing [1]. However, Simone did not limp or show any other signs she had been injured in the run, leaving viewers to question what was actually going on as she packed up her bag and left the floor. Simone was facing a battle that was unseen from the spectators, her mental health was not up to the immense challenge of being the workhorse of the nation with expectations nothing short of perfection, also saying on Monday that she felt the “weight of the world” on her shoulders [2]. Added pressure as being one of the last solidified household names with the retirement of olympic athletes Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt. At the end of the competition the United States of America received a silver medal coming behind the Russian Olympic Committee. “Once I came out here [to compete], I was like, 'No, mental is not there, so I just need to let the girls do it and focus on myself”’ Simone said in a statement after the competition [1]. Simone told the Associated Press “We also have to focus on ourselves, because at the end of the day, we're human, too. We have to protect our mind and our body, rather than just go out there and do what the world wants us to do” [2]. A statement from Simone’s social media read “I know I brush it off and make it seem like pressure doesn't affect me but damn sometimes it's hard hahaha! The olympics is no joke!" she wrote. "BUT I'm happy my family was able to be with me virtually🤍 they mean the world to me!” [3].  “After further medical evaluation, Simone Biles has withdrawn from the final individual all-around competition at the Tokyo Olympic Games, in order to focus on her mental health. We wholeheartedly support Simone's decision and applaud her bravery in prioritizing her well-being. Her courage shows, yet again, why she is a role model for so many”, The United States of America gymnastics team said in a statement on Wednesday [1]. The 24 year old was physically in the best shape of her life qualifying for the finals on all four apparatuses, something she didn't even do during her five-medal haul at the Rio de Janeiro Games in 2016 [1]. Gold medal hopes seem at an all time low as Jade Carey will now take Biles’ place in the individual all-around competition Thursday, Jade qualified 9th for the individual all-around earlier.

Simone’s decision to walk away for mental health follows a trend of athletes who feel the pressure to perform is not worth the spoils of victory. Number 2 women’s tennis player in the world Naomi Osaka stepped away from the French open and withdrew herself from the Wimbledon this year to focus on her mental health as well.  Michael Phelps commented on his thoughts of the situation saying “I hope this is an eye-opening experience, I really do. I hope this is an opportunity for us to jump on board and to even blow this mental health thing even more wide open. It is so much bigger than we could even ever imagine,” Phelps said. “This is something that’s gonna take a lot of time, a lot of hard work and people who are willing to help” [3].

______________________________________________________________

[1] Maine, D. A. (2021, July 28). Simone Biles withdraws from INDIVIDUAL all-around gymnastics competition at Tokyo Olympics to focus on mental well-being. ESPN. https://www.espn.com/olympics/gymnastics/story/_/id/31902290/simone-biles-withdraws-individual-all-competition-tokyo-olympics-focus-mental-health.

[2]Silva, D. (2021, July 27). 'We're human, too': Simone biles highlights importance of mental health in OLYMPICS WITHDRAWAL. NBCNews.com. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/olympics/we-re-human-too-simone-biles-highlights-importance-mental-health-n1275224.

[3]Dragon, T. (2021, July 28). 'The Olympics IS OVERWHELMING': Michael Phelps says he can relate to Simone biles' situation in Tokyo. USA Today. https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/2021/07/27/michael-phelps-reacts-simone-biles-gymnastics-team-event-withdrawal/5397177001/.