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teaboot · 5 months

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What are "transmasc" and "genderqueer"?

I just woke up so bear with me, but like

Western society has invented this idea of "man" and "woman", right? And we SAY it's actually real, and based on tangible things like sex characteristics- primary, like dicks n' hoo-has- and secondary, like tiddies an facial hair an cellulite.

Well, it turns out that those things ain't divided "correctly" into the man and woman categories all the time.

People with dicks sometimes get tiddies, people without dicks sometimes grow beards and chest hair, beauty standards like "woman thin and hairless and short with small nose and tiny feet" and "man tall and muscular with a beard and broad shoulders" aren't appearing in nature the way we say they should.

(These gendered standards also change over time, but that's a different post.)

What's more, some people have multiple primary characteristics, and it's not even super rare! (Again, worth a different post, and not one I'm really in a position to make.)

So, we say that we didn't just "invent" two exclusive boxes to sort a wide variety and spectrum of characteristics into by pure brute force, but evidence says otherwise. So do we change the rules of our society to fit that evidence?

No, we pick something else to support our beliefs.

Learning about genes and DNA and chromosomes came much later in the game, so most people's grasp of it is this: Men have XY chromosomes, women have XX chromosomes, and no matter what your body is shaped like, that determines which box you go in. Whatever you look like should be padded or amputated or shaved away until you fit in your box.

Except.... we now know that people who outwardly appear to be the perfect ideal poster children of "man" and "woman" are living full, natural, healthy and unbothered lives totally unaware that they have the "wrong" chromosomes. No visibly "mixed" characteristics at all. So there goes that idea out the window.

Unless we say that no, our invention which is fact still holds up- there's just a few mutants and freaks and dysfunctional anomalies that just sort of happen sometimes, like factory flaws that wouldn't exist if things were running as they should.

So what do we do with factory flaws? We "fix" them. Or pressure them to fix themselves. Or, if they can "pass" one way or another, shove them into that box and tell them to shut up about it. Don't fit into either? Then pick one, and make yourself fit.

But... then, if we can pick... if hairy women with flat chests and small hips can shave themselves down and throw on some padding and powder her face to be accepted.... why can't anyone else?

Or, if that same "woman" went, fuck it, cut his hair short and embraced all the "man" characteristics, went by different pronouns and stepped into the "man" box... wouldn't that be okay, too?

And, he'll, what if they changed nothing about themselves and decided to opt out? We've proven that these "universal facts" don't *actually* exist and exceptions are everywhere, so fuck it, right? "Man" and "woman" don't really mean anything tangible anyways, so why not do what makes you happy?

And since, again, evidence shows that "man" and "women" aren't perfect binary boxes with perfect binary traits- why bother living up to those traits at all? Why can't someone assigned to the "woman" box live in the "man" box with long hair and heels on? If I makes him happy, what's the harm?

We don't like this, though, because when you build two boxes that contain the whole world, and people start escaping, or slipping out to live in the one they like more, or switching, or building their own, people begin to wonder why they're living in boxes at all. If we even need boxes.

And the people who maintain the boxes tell us, it's because the boxes are safe, and the boxes are natural, and the boxes have been here exactly as they are since the beginning of time anyways, and NO, they aren't just terrified of life outside the shelter of the box, you're the weird one.

Meanwhile, if we really looked into it, I imagine we'd find more people who don't fit their box criteria, or don't even like their box, at least as often as we find people who do.

Transgender means "someone who isn't in their assigned box".

Genderqueer means, "someone who isn't in their assigned box", but in a the same broad way that "transgender" is- Maybe a him, maybe a her, maybe both, maybe a they, perhaps a xey, and sometimes some of us move around.

I say I'm genderqueer, 'cause that fits me, but "Transmasc" to me personally means, "I know I'm not a woman, and I'm closer to the "man" box, but I'm happier wandering outside the "man" box than I am stepping fully inside. (Dysphoria is part of that, but again, in my opinion it's not vital to the experience.)

And I'm not one for destroying those two boxes entirely- they bring joy to a lot of people.

Just, you know. Maybe making more, different boxes. And maybe little camps out between them. And not treating people who roam the wilderness instead like rabid animals. Is the thing.

Long answer

#Long post #Text post #Gender #Transgender #Transmasc #Genderqueer #Correct me if I'm wrong I'm not fully awake and also wrong sometimes and also a lil dumb on top o that

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chronicbeans · 3 months

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Romantic Husk x Maladaptive Daydreamer Reader

Brought to you by: I feel like you two would get along. Also I feel like I made the Reader much more depressed in this one so heads up lol.

TW: Maladaptive Daydreaming, Alcohol/Alcoholism, Mentions of Drugs, Depression, Derealization/Dissociation

• When you first stepped into the Hazbin Hotel, being dragged around by an excited Charlie and smiling Vaggie, he thought you'd be like all the rest. A bit more on the bold side, being able to make snarky comments, violent... Just, overall, like most other sinners he's seen. He was quickly proven wrong, however. You look over to him as you're dragged by the bar, but you don't look like you process him. He simply assumed you didn't get the time to process him, but once Charlie loops around back to him in order to introduce you two, you have that same look to you.

• "Hello... um, I'm (Y/N)." You wave a little to him as you speak, looking a bit awkward. Possibly from Charlie dragging you around from excitement, and making you meet everyone. He waves to you, nodding. He doesn't look very enthusiastic, or sound it, as he introduced himself. "The name's Husk. Now, are you going to get a drink while you're here? Otherwise, that's all you'll need to know, for now."

• Alright... so, first impressions were definitely something. They aren't his forte, at least. However, you succeeded in surprising him a little. Not with your words or gestures, but just by how you didn't seem to be paying full attention. He's great at reading people, as a gambler, and it's bled into his day to day life. He could easily tell. Now, could he tell why? No. His first thought is drugs, since Angel has a drug problem and so do a lot of people in Hell, but you didn't show any visible signs of being on something. So, he isn't going to assume anything. Perhaps you were just having a bad day, or were overwhelmed...

• The next time he sees you, though, is when you are having a group exercise with the rest of the hotel residents. Plus a few staff members, since there's not a lot of people here, yet. Lucky for him, he was chosen to join in. After all, who's going to be going to the bar when everyone is doing an activity? Once again, everybody is introducing themselves since there's a new person. That person being you.

• You sit there, clearly spaced out, as Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, and Niffty all do their little greeting... thing... that Charlie is making everyone do. Then, once it's your turn, you take a moment. Actually, you didn't notice it was your turn, until Husk gently elbows you, wanting to get it over with. You flinch, before giving a halfhearted greeting, embarrassed. You say your name, with your favorite thing being "being creative", and your last thing being that you don't like sharing it. It was odd to listen to, compared to everyone else's introductions. He just gave his, not thinking about it... much.

• Okay... maybe "not thinking about it much" isn't the right wording. He's thinking about it a lot. Mainly because he's worried about whatever the hell "being creative" means. In Hell, it could mean violence, drugs, and a lot of other horrific things alongside art, music, and writing. He wants to make sure Angel Dust is safe, too, if it is something involving drugs. He doesn't want him to get hooked on something new. So, he's going to keep a close watch whenever you two are together.

• You don't visit the bar often. Though, when you do, you usually have a few drinks and don't talk much. You kind of just stare at the table, the bottles on the wall behind him, or just into space while making different expressions. A lot of the time you kind of look empty, though. Husk sometimes crosses his arms and asks what you're thinking about, only for you to look up to him and shrug. "Hard to explain... Just a story I heard."

• You're clearly hiding something and he doesn't like that. He's not going to pry, though. While it could be something bad, it could also just be some personal stuff. Maybe you're just depressed or something...? Doesn't explain the odd expressions... maybe you're just hallucinating? Yeah. He'll just guess it's a mental health thing. Which, well, he's on the right track. Just the wrong answer to what is causing the specifics of what he's trying to figure out.

• Sometimes you talk about your stories when you get drunk, which isn't as often as a few other people in the Hazbin Hotel, but is usually a treat. He assumes these are those "stories you heard one", but he can already smell something fishy. You explain them in far too much detail than someone normally would. You can even explain miniscule things, like the psychology of certain characters, the way the world building works to the smallest ant's role, to even the biology of certain creatures. Nobody who simply "heard a story" would know this much. These are things the writer would know.

• "You made these, didn't you?" You immediately tense up at that, but slowly nod. Now, he's even more confused. Why would anybody lie about it? These stories are interesting. They actually kind of distract him from his problems, that's how much they hook others! Before he can ask, though, you shrug. "I kind of... don't like how attached I am to them. They're why I'm spaced out. I also don't want others to know about it. Don't tell anyone."

• Husk doesn't tell anyone. However, he kind of thinks you're overreacting when you talk about how much you daydream and how it's a problem. It's nothing against you. He doesn't think you're a lier, now. He's pretty sure you're being truthful, with just a little bit of exaggerating. See, he's from the 1970s, and whatever you're going through wasn't discovered until the 2000s. He just can't imagine how daydreaming could become a problem. Everybody daydreams. However, just in case it actually is a big issue, he won't voice it. The most he'll say is just that he hasn't heard of anything like what you are describing.

• He likes you. Now that you're being more open, he has genuinely started to enjoy your company. Your stories are nice to listen to, your expressions fun to watch, and even if you are having problems listening to him talk, he can at least understand why and not hold it against you. You're entertaining. He'll ask questions about your characters, and actually engage in your storytelling when you ask.

• However, it all changes once Charlie comes up to him one evening. She looks a bit worried as she asks Husk for help. "See... They've been in their room all day, and when I knocked and asked if they needed anything, they asked to get you." Get him? Well, alright.

• Once he gets to your room, he begins to realize just how bad of a problem it can get. You seem to have broken down into tears over something, and when he asks what, you just let out your every frustration. You've forgotten to eat today, you can't focus on anything due to daydreaming taking over, you feel a bit disconnected from reality... while before, you seemed to be able to talk about these things so easily, now that you're breaking down over it? It really puts it into perspective. Especially when you mention feeling disconnected from reality... He somehow never thought of that being an issue, but it makes sense to him. How could you feel connected to reality, when your mind is never focused on it?

• As much as he tries to understand what is going on inside your head, he knows he'll never understand it entirely. So, he tries to understand it in a way through his own experiences. With how much this unstoppable habit has been causing you distress, the closest thing he can compare is to is his alcoholism. He feels like he can't stop drinking, even if he knows it's bad for him... Husk is very much aware that it's not exactly the same, but he feels it's the closest he'll get to understanding your experiences.

• He keeps his promise of not saying a word about it to anyone. If somebody ever asks about what is going on with you, he'll pull what he calls "a Niffty", saying "You don't even want to know what's going on with them." He also becomes a bit more protective over you. He's seen Alastor staring at you, and he recognizes the look in his eyes. Alastor wants to try to manipulate you, like he does everyone else. Husk plans to prevent that as best he can, despite Alastor owning his soul.

• Husk might try to find ways to ground you. He would normally recommend going to a therapist, psychiatrist, or to get some medications for your mental health... but considering that you're both in Hell, the place filled with the worst people, that might actually be the most dangerous thing you could do. If you were on earth, sure, since those people can be trusted more often than not. Hell's mental health professionals are untrustworthy, though. So, he's going to try finding a grounding technique that works for you. Be it holding some ice cubes in your hand, taking deep breaths, or some random thing Charlie brings up one day he thinks will help.

• Now that he's dedicated to protecting you from Alastor, he might be a bit more open about how awful that deer demon can be. Well, as open as Alastor's leash allows him to be. It's his way of subtly warning you not to trust that smiling monster. Husk's gotten too attached to let not warn you of him.

• As you both spend more time around each other, he begins noticing that he's grown to love you as more than a friend. The little things you do cause him to blush, as much as he hates it. It's only when Angel Dust teases him about having a crush on you that he actually realizes that he's in love, though, and Husk immediately shuts him up. He's genuinely growing frightened that Alastor might hear it, and begin using you against him. That man has taken his soul, his power as an overlord, his freedom, and he knows that he'd be willing to take you away, too.

• Despite that fear, Husk is rather quick to tell you how he feels. He knows he'll have to tell you at some point, so he might as well get it over with. He also doesn't really expect you to like him back, in large part due to his attitude and the cat-like form he's taken in Hell. He doesn't like it, himself, so why wouldn't you see it as off-putting? However, he doesn't argue when you tell him you love him back. He is just a bit shocked, in a good way.

• Now that you're both together, your actual relationship doesn't change much from when you were just friends. The only real difference is the occasional kiss or snuggle sensation. You're actually a bit shocked by how much he likes to cuddle, even if he only wants to in private. He isn't really the type of guy that likes public displays of affection.

• All in all, life's pretty good with your protective boyfriend. He may not entirely understand what is going on in your head, but he's one of the most patient people at the hotel when it comes to hearing people out on their problems. He's probably one of the best if you're looking for a partner who'd rather give you grounding skills, rather than going along with your daydreams and using outlets like art and writing to cope.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin husk #husk hazbin hotel #husk x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #maladaptive daydreaming

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 3 months

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Dear Diary. . .

18+ for some smut. . .

Steve thought a lot about people's sexuality since Robin came out to him on the floor of the bathroom at Starcourt. Well, he thought about it a lot more. Before, it was only a casual thought. How could two members of the same sex do that? Not in like a hateful way but more in a curious way. How could two men have sex? He usually spent time on it, thinking about it. . .too much time thinking about it, really. That should have been his first clue, but at the time, he shook those thoughts away by telling himself that he was just being overly judgemental like his dad. Now, he was thinking about it a lot more, and he couldn't quite figure it out until Eddie Munson walked into Family Video one afternoon.

"It's fucking freezing! I can't believe Keith made us come in. I swear that I'm going to do it this time," Robin said. "I'm gonna kill him."

"You keep saying it, but then it never happens," Steve chuckled.

"There's no one even here!" Robin complained.

It was the middle of December and pretty damn cold. No one would be crazy enough to escape the warmth of their homes just to get a movie. He was quickly proven wrong, though, when the door opened and Eddie Munson walked in.

"Jesus H Christ! It's freezing in here. Do you guys have the air conditioner on in the middle of winter?" Eddie asked.

"It's broken. We couldn't fix it, and we couldn't get anyone to come out," Steve said.

"And you guys didn't just say 'fuck it' and go home?" Eddie asked.

"We can't really afford to do that," Steve said.

"Really? King Steve can't afford to take one day off? The man with his own castle or so I've heard," Eddie said, and Robin scoffed at him, scowling.

"You mean, my parents' house? Yeah, no. It's their house and like they've told me since I was six: It's their house and they just allow me to live there. They made me start paying them rent the minute I didn't get into any college, and they threatened to kick me out without all my stuff if I didn't pay up on time, so no I can't really afford to say fuck it," Steve said. "And the thing about being called King Steve are the assumptions that come with it. They assume that because I was born into money that everything that comes with it is mine. That I have it easy. You know, you can have all the money in the world but you can't pay your parents to love you. I mean, I don't know. Does it make you feel good when people call you freak?"

"Jesus. . . No," Eddie said, looking properly shamed. "Look, sorry, man. I can fix your problem for free."

"Which problem? People calling me King Steve or my parents not loving me?" Steve asked.

"Well, I can't fix those problems, but I can fix your heat," Eddie smirked. "Let me go get my tools."

He left the store, leaving Steve alone with Robin.

"He's lucky he apologized and offered to fix the heat, or otherwise I would have kicked his ass," Robin muttered, and then she paused. "Your parents are home, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Steve muttered.

"You know, my dad put bunk beds in my room like I'm a kid or something. Want to have a sleepover?" Robin asked.

"Only if I get the the top. A top for a top," Steve said with a smirk.

"Ugh. You'll get bottom and like it," Robin said. "You know, my parents love you. I think you should take up their offer and -"

She didn't get to finish her sentence because Eddie made his way into the store. He shook his toolbox at Steve.

"Lead the way, Harrington," Eddie grinned.

"I'll mind the store, although I think it's pointless. I don't think anyone else is crazy enough to come out in this weather," Robin said to Steve. "You mind him."

"Thanks," Eddie grinned cheerfully as he followed Steve into the back.

Wordlessly, Steve watched as he took off his jacket and got to work. The other man was wearing a tight red sweater. It was so tight that Steve could practically see his. . .wait, are those. . .are those nipple piercings? Steve swallowed. Why couldn't he look away? The movement of Eddie rolling up his sleeves tore his attention away from the man's nipples. There was a tattoo of a creature controlling a puppet on his forearm. He stared at it while he worked and wondered if there were any more tattoos on Eddie's body. Steve tilted his head to the side as he pictured taking off Eddie's sweater to look for more, his mind picturing Eddie's piercings. He could imagine them so clearly, and Steve could see his own hand reaching out to brush his thumb over the piercing. Suddenly, Eddie's underneath him, and Steve is reaching down to take it -

"All done!" Eddie's voice called out.

"What?!" Steve exclaimed.

He realized what he was feeling now. The familiar pull of arousal in his stomach is something that he immediately recognized. Mews being eaten by a demodog! Mews being eaten by a demodog! Yeah, that did it. Eddie was staring at him now with his big brown beautiful eyes, his plump lips looking ever so kissable. Shit.

"You okay, man?" Eddie asked. "Where did you go?"

"Oh, nothing, sometimes I just space out," Steve said, trying not to blush.

"Yeah. I do that, too. I fixed it!" Eddie exclaimed proudly. "Am I forgiven now?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely," Steve said. "Thanks."

Eddie shrugged on his jacket and shook his toolbox at him.

"I'm going to go put Bert up now," Eddie said. "And then look for a movie."

"Bert?" Steve asked.

"My toolbox. Problem?" He asked.

"No, it's cute," Steve laughed.

Eddie looked at him for a moment as if he was trying to figure him out.

"Hm. Dustin was right. You are an interesting dude," Eddie said.

They walked out of the back together, and Steve continued to watch him as he walked out.

"It's definitely warming up," Robin said. "Thank God!"

Eddie walked back in and started browsing the aisles, Steve’s eyes never leaving him. Robin unscrewed her bottle of water and started drinking.

"Yeah, I can definitely picture myself having sex with that guy," Steve said, and Robin started choking on her water. "Jesus, Robin. Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?! Are you okay? What the hell, Steve?!"

"What?"

Later that evening, after they got off of work, Steve and Robin immediately got settled up in her room. A random radio station was playing in the background. They were laying on the floor, their feet pressed against the wall, as they stared at the stars on Robin's ceiling.

"So, let me get this straight - something which we apparently both aren't - you kept trying to picture how it worked between two men, and apparently, that made you think that you were homophobic?" Robin asked.

"Pretty much," Steve said.

"Okay, you're going to have to start telling me all of your thoughts outloud so I can tell you if you're wrong or right," Robin said. "I'll do the same thing with you."

"Like we're diaries?" Steve asked.

"Exactly like we're diaries, Steven," Robin said. ". . . Diaries who give feedback."

"What if they're dirty thoughts?" Steve asked.

"I'm a fully grown lesbian. I can handle it," Robin said. "I want every single slutty detail."

"Okay," Steve said.

"For example: Dear Diary, my platonic soulmate realized he wasn't straight today. He also came out to me. I want him to know how proud I am of him and how much I love him," Robin said. "Even if he is attracted to boys."

"Dear Diary, I came out to my platonic soulmate today after finally accepting that I can be queer. . .that I could be bisexual like Bowie. I don't think I ever could have gotten to this point without learning from her. If she hadn't trusted me, then I wouldn't have been able to put so much trust and courage into accepting myself. I'm so proud of her, and I love her so goddamn much," Steve said. "Even if she is a pain in the ass."

"Aw, Steve," Robin said tearfully and took his hand, interlacing their fingers together. "You know what my favorite thing about our friendship is?"

"What?"

"We're both bitches," Robin said and they both burst into fits of giggles.

After that, Steve wished for more interactions with Eddie, but whenever he went to pick up Dustin from Hellfire, Eddie would scowl and look away whenever Steve tried to wiggle his fingers at him. Eventually, it just became awkward, so Steve stopped trying. He didn't even look at him anymore. Steve even tried approaching him in the grocery store just to ask what his problem was, but Eddie took off and ran out of the store without buying anything. Eventually, Steve realized that Eddie clearly still saw him as King Steve and wanted nothing to do with him. So Steve stopped trying, disappointed, and rejected. Instead, he tried moving on by going on dates, and eventually, Steve pushed Eddie to the back of his mind. . .then spring break rolled around. It all went to hell, and suddenly, he was fighting to save Eddie from being convicted of murders he didn't commit while also trying to stop the earth from splitting open.

Luckily, it was all a success with some injuries. Unfortunately, Eddie still needed to be hidden from the town, and Steve's house was the best place for him. He was currently resting in Steve's guest room, bandaged heavily as he was worse off than Steve but not so bad that he needed a hospital. Steve was pacing downstairs. Now was the perfect time to talk to him. He couldn't run away this time. Steve sighed and walked up the stairs. He entered the room without thinking and without knocking. Eddie froze, his unbandaged hand down his pants. He quickly pulled it out.

"I had an itch!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Uh. I can come back," Steve said.

"No, seriously! It was an itch!" Eddie exclaimed. "I was just thinking about you."

Steve’s mood changed pretty quickly. His cheeks turned pink, and he grinned. He slid carefully onto the empty space beside Eddie. He used an elbow to avoid laying on his stomach.

"Really?" Steve asked.

"How could I not? You pulled me out of hell, man," Eddie said. "I wish I could thank you properly, but I can't even get out of bed."

"You can thank me by letting me do all the work," Steve said.

"Uh, yeah, okay," Eddie said, looking at him, confusion as he started to disappear under the covers. "What are you - Oh! Oh! I think there was a misunde - OH, fuck it! It's such a good one. JESUS H CHRIST!"

There was a popping sound from under the covers as Steve peeked out from under the blankets.

"Do you want me to stop?" Steve asked.

"No! Get back down there," Eddie said and pushed his head down. "I can't believe - I, uh, thought that I hated you and I, uh, I uh, I didn't understand why I did. Oh, fuck! It's why I ran - I shouldn't have - Steve, Steve, I think I'm going to - God!"

Steve plopped down on the empty spot beside Eddie, smirking as he licked his lips.

"I didn't think I would be so good that I'd get a name change," Steve said. "God. God Harrington."

"Cocky asshole," Eddie replied. "So, what does this mean? Is that all I'm good for, or do you want more from me?"

"I think I would like to try more with you," Steve said softly.

"Me too, and once I get better, I am so returning the favor," Eddie smirked.

"There's a lot of things we're going to do when we get better," Steve said as he leaned in close to Eddie's face.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Steve placed a soft kiss to Eddie's lips, smiling when Eddie started kissing him back. Steve pulled back.

"The first thing, though. . .I'm so making you sleep on the couch," Steve said.

"What?!" Eddie yelped. "Why?"

"Well, one, you forced the kids to choose between Lucas and Hellfire. Second, you didn't stick to the plan, and you nearly died in Dustin's arms," Steve huffed.

"But I - yeah, no, that's fair," Eddie mumbled. "I do feel bad about making them go through that. I'm going to work my ass off to make it up to them."

"I know you are," Steve said softly. "Luckily, you've got the rest of your long life to make it up to them."

"Thanks to you," Eddie said, and Steve bit his lip. "You want to tell Robin, don't you? Go ahead."

Steve went downstairs and into the kitchen. He picked up the phone, twirled the phone cord around his finger, and dialed Robin's number.

"Hello?"

"Dear Diary. . . I totally went down on this really cute guy. . .bit of an asshole. . . but he's working on it. . ."

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fatuismooches · 1 month

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I'M BITING MY HANDS I NEED MORE ZANDIK AT THE ACADEMY.

I love the little zandik at the academy, I love webttore, I love the grown-up dottore with gray hair and a little wrinkles. Ohh I can't😣😣

I NEED THEM ALL.

Cooked up some more Akademiya Dottore hcs for you anon...

Whenever he wore the Akademiya's hat with his uniform, you'd always steal it and he'd get mad, but eventually he gave up and let you hog it. It's probably a little big on you and as revenge, he'd make fun of you for looking dumb. Same with his clothes, for some reason you'd wear his Akademiya uniform to sleep sometimes? Zandik doesn't understand but every time he tries to pull it off of you, he's been unsuccessful, so he'll just let you be a strange little human since it seems to be working for your productivity... Centuries later he's learned to deal with a few shirts going missing and then you returning them after a while because they 'lost his scent.' (He wears the same outfit anyway, no big deal).

Thanks to you, there were quite a few times the professors actually listened to him. Other peers pretty much never vouch or stand up for him so it does make them think a bit when a student such as yourself does do it so vehemently. Zandik says you don't need to waste your time on it since he doesn't really care what they think, but he did manage to get a few more research opportunities thanks to you. In the beginning, he was pretty much clueless on how to express some sort of gratitude since he couldn't force out the words 'thank you' for the life of him. It was very funny for you to watch.

Group projects become so much better once the two of you get comfortable with each other. Both of you have been victims of doing all the work. You were quite excited to work with someone like him because you know of his intelligence and how he gets down to business. Meanwhile, Zandik was quite skeptical and annoyed to work with you in the beginning because he thought you were just another person who would end up leeching off him again.

However, he was surprisingly yet pleasantly proven wrong. He's especially impressed with your writing in the reports/essays, but he's never going to admit that. At least not now. The synergy between you two and your minds is something he doesn't know how to deal with at first, having dealt with so many of the opposite situations, but it's one of the biggest things that Zandik grows to be appreciative of.

When the semester is over, all students need to leave/clear the dorms until the next semester begins. Most return to wherever home is, but of course that's not something Zandik has, so most times he manages to rent out a place for a while. When you met him in the beginning he would just disappear to Archons knows where and then come back as if nothing happened next semester.

It takes a long time for him to tell you. When he does, he claims that he regrets it due to how often you show up to bother him, but in reality, he finds himself lonely without your company. As even more years go by, eventually he "invites" you to live with him. ("Invites" as in he never directly says it. Just drops subtle hints so you would ask him first instead). You're just happy to be able to cook for him more often (and 24/7 cuddles!!) (Just me trying to push my domestic Zandik and Reader agenda).

Just frequently being with each other but not needing to interact with the other. Both of you just do your own things in the peace of knowing the other's there.

Doesn't like when you ask others for help when he's literally right there. Please ask your genius scholar bf first. It doesn't matter what the problem is. Just ask him otherwise he'll get huffy and glare at you. No, you're not wasting his time by doing so. Rather, you're wasting both his and your time when you decide to go to other people first!

Coming home from expeditions. For some reason despite how tired you are, you want to feed stray kitties. It becomes a sort of tradition for you two.

This one was said a while ago, but I'll bring it back again (x, x, x) but you needing to wipe Zandik's hands because he keeps breaking pens and splattering ink everywhere. Whenever you see he gets a little too excited, you swipe the pen and start writing light-speed so he doesn't try to steal it from you for being 'too slow.'

#smooches talks #dottore love notes <3 #glad im not the only escher simp around once again #this is such a safe space #but ouhh yess... akademiya zandik is my beloved #he would make the college experience so much better #(speaking as someone who was excited for college initially but it ain't that great 💀)#some of these are a tiny bit 🤏 self indulgent for me

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revscarecrow · 7 days

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Translation of post:

I was bullshitting when I said I knew what the charity streams were this year. I thought that since one was done for Ukraine, one would possibly for done for Palestine or Israel (I don’t support Israel, I’m just insinuating your friends would). Everyone would most likely have a bad take, because they aren’t as political as you, possibly even being zionists. The pediatric cancer research fund and the Palestine children’s relief fund have the same acronym. Therefore, if they announced the charity stream for the cancer fund with the acronym, everyone would assume it would be for Palestine. I want you to stop being friends with the vinesauce circle, because they probably don’t have very good politics. The only other vinesauce related person to have ever done anything with Palestine stuff (to my knowledge) was Gpm, and that time it was apparently an accident. I’m not expecting a charity stream for Palestine, nor am I expecting any of them to speak about it, because I feel like they would all have bad takes. You do not need to tell them to do anything. But I generally feel like you shouldn’t be friends with any of them, because I feel they’re not leftist enough. Besides, from what I remember, Joel set up the Ukraine thing (I might be extremely wrong) and since he is from europe, he probably did it because he felt threatened by russia.

tldr: I think your friends are probably zionists. Tbh, until they show otherwise, I believe that most content creators/Jewish people are.

Alright I gave this another go this morning and I'll give you a hot tip. This shit does make more sense when sober. Evil until proven otherwise is an wild purity test. Assuming all Jewish people support Isreal is also a hell of a take. Not being friends with people because they don't do thier job just like me is also a fucked up take. It's a really really bad move financially to talk the way I do. 1. Because gamers are only political when it regards titty censorship or the occasional shitty boycott (until the next big announcement happens). 2. It also pisses people off who agree with me because they might know I'm right and have been dealing with it and fighting the good fight and now when they come home to relax I'm also talking about it as well. Sometimes people just want to turn off their brains and for good reason. Activist burn out is real. So this thing I do is a really bad idea in general but I'm the type of person who can't shut up so I do it anyway. That doesn't mean that everyone has the same view point on how to do this streaming YouTube thing. It just means that's how I do it. Watch who you want for whatever reason you want but don't tell me who to be friends with or how to do my job and expect me to follow your directives.

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virtualgirladv · 2 months

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What's your worst take?

Like how am I meant to know? Everything I think in general I probably think is normal until proven otherwise. Or if I think it then I must think I'm right and everyone is wrong.

Gonna list some random things that I often disagree with people about and y'all can figure out which is the worst take.

People care too much about other people's kinks and need to actually enjoy sex for once

GLaDOS is a milf

You should make friends with people who like stuff your ehh about, keeps you from being a fascist

Cold pepperoni pizza is great

You should have friends that are very different age from you, keeps you from being a prude of a boomer and younger people need adults they can talk to about life without judgement because we're social beings and the world is fucking hard without experience and guidance

Puns are great

You should say you love your friends more, it isn't weird fuck you

Y'all can't put sriracha on everything, try other sauces sometime. Different ones compliment different foods. Also Huy Fong sriracha, the roster one everyone knows, is mid af now try another brand

It's okay to be picky just don't be a cunt about it, this applies to everything, even dating, even friendships, even family, everything

Tumblr is only good cause the decade of community, it'd be better if they all just like moved to cohost or something

People play EDH too slow or make generally unfun decks often

You should like pay artists if you can, you'll get the best stuff you'll love forever out of it

I love Linux but it isn't for everyone so stop recommending it for every problem

You should lie to your landlord

Chips should be crunchy, fuck those wafer thin shits they try and sell you

Charities shouldn't need to exist, it's a sign of a problem, not a solution

Being rude to someone being an asshole is valid af, people who don't respect others don't deserve respect

Cargo pants are fucking great

You should be cringe on purpose to kill the weak and vain

No one has the same gender, it's fucking free form art

Triple A games suck so much 99% of the time, the file off all the potential to general appeal

Indie films will either be the most amazing or worst thing you've seen and that's good

Pop music isn't a genre, its a business model

Fuck grammar and spelling. You fucking know what people are saying. We've done this for millennias. Cuntwaffle and yeag aren't "real" words but you know exactly what I mean

You're a cunt if you don't at least try to say someone's name correctly, like deserve to go to hell shit

#vga.ask #virtualgirladv #anon #I'm sleepy

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bcacstuff · 4 months

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So basically you’re saying he hasn’t had a date since early 2022. Almost 2 years ago? Lol. Well, that is red flags fer sure!! If he isn’t gay or not good at flying under radar as you say, who has he been with since March 2022? Pap and pics with MC. The others videos and pics were long ago 2000 and 2001 come on?? If there is no proof of a woman since March 2022 until today, he is either gay or all PR and that is a fact!!!

Huh, 2000 and 2001? Was he even known then? What did you smoke or drink?

Sorry, you're a bad reader. I didn't say he's a monk, I just go by the facts we see. I'm not in his pocket observing every hour of the day what he is doing. He surely can have a fling or a one night stand with whom ever he prefers and whenever he prefers.

But I'm not telling fables about women where there is not any proof he's even been with together, or who he might not even know they exist. I also don't tell fabricated lies like he can't go alone on a vacation, he's often proven otherwise. We've seen him traveling alone a great number of times. Was there any proof he was with someone in Miami? Or in Nevis? Can you provide that? If you can't then how can you tell he can not travel alone or have a vacation alone. Cause that is plain BS. He often tells how he grew up and learned to entertain himself alone, and he likes it. He likes his freedom, he likes to go on adventures and he doesn't necessarily need someone to be happy and relaxed on a vacation. That's what I'm saying and that isn't equal to never having a date or fling. As he could easily pick up a date at a bar for a night or something alike and if he likes. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I'm sorry if you have never experienced such adventures yourself, and can only be narrow minded and go to the 'then he must be gay' chapter. And saying it must be a fact because he doesn't have a relationship he must be gay, I'm sorry but that is a plain insult to everyone who prefers to not be in a stable relationship. He declared himself more than once he isn't, and it isn't something he needs to hide in this day and age.

I'm actually disgusted by your narrow minded thinking and Anon message. In fact, you're a coward hiding behind an Anon sending such messages. A very narrow minded coward. Now that is what I call a fact!

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a-dragons-journal · 4 months

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how are endels okay but physical shifters aren’t? make it make sense

Endels are, by the nature of it being a term tied to delusions, stating that they are experiencing delusions that affect their identity. P-shifters are claiming it's actually real. P-shifters are making a physical claim; endels and clinical zoanthropes are not. These are two wildly different things and I'm not honestly sure why you would ever treat them as though they're equivalent?

To expand this a bit to an edge case that I've seen a couple times recently and which I suspect prompted this line of thinking (please correct me if I'm wrong, of course, but it's the only way I can imagine these two things being treated as even a little bit the same thing): In the cases where someone who knows they're experiencing delusions is "reclaiming" the word p-shifter:

you can't "reclaim" a term that never belonged to you; you're just trying to change the meaning of the word entirely to something it's never meant,

the word is still making it sound like you're making a physical claim, because that's all it's ever meant, and I am thus going to assume you mean that until proven otherwise and you shouldn't be surprised I'm doing so, and perhaps most importantly,

this is a word that has been widely used to manipulate and harm people by promising no, physical shifting is real, you just can't do it because you haven't tried hard enough and if you listen to me and do everything I say you'll get there someday. Reclaimed terms are terms that have been used in a derogatory sense toward the group of people that is now reclaiming them. "P-shifter" is not a term that has ever been used that way, it's the self-identifier of a group of people that has historically been responsible for rampant manipulation and abuse of young therians and otherkin. This is admittedly not the best parallel because of the degree of inherently meaning something harmful being different, but it's a little like trying to "reclaim" the term TERF by changing it to mean something somewhat similar but ultimately different, and then being surprised when people assume you're a transphobe and treat you as such. Page just wrote a good post about this here that put it better than I can.

Does that clarify things/make sense?

#rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous #p shifting

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captainmera · 4 months

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I'm reading your Caleb fic and actually losing my mind over how good and fitting his characterization feels, how well you put the seeds of becoming a bad person in Philip without making him Evil Child and instead make it feel like a natural progression, how everyone's so NUANCED, the historical accuracy, EVELYNS CHARACTERIZATION!!! God!!! I love all of this!!!! (Also the closeted bi Caleb.)

Thank you! :D

Yes, I'm having fun crafting Caleb specifically with Philip turning into the guy Luz meets in canon, and eventually Belos, in mind.

I asked myself: Who the hell raised this dude!? :l And out came my version of Caleb, lol.

And yes, I don't think Philip was a bad kid. I think he became a bad person. Like most people who grow up, things happen and.. You know.

When you look at an adult who is angry, cruel and hateful, you seldom see their whole story. You see them for who they are right now and their unjustifiable actions and behaviours.

Caleb isn't a great parent. He's a good brother, not a half-bad provider, but parent? Not really. He was a kid when he raised his brother, and nobody taught him how to do it right. His outlet for frustrations and feeling helpless allowed him to cognitively dissonance himself from his cruel actions as a witch hunter.

We have no control. There is both freedom and imprisonment in knowing we are powerless to the chaos of hindsight. The endless human toiling of reminiscing in the "what ifs" of life will curse us all to an early doom.

The acceptance of no control, strangely, gives you more control and peace of mind. Sometimes, you can do everything right and it still goes wrong. Sometimes you do everything wrong and things turn out fine!

Doesn't mean people are blameless. Knowing the cause of something doesn't excuse the action or the choices you made.

But recognising that you made choices at the time based on what you knew and believed to be right - does give insight to things. What to do with that insight is up to each and every person.

Evelyn I'm enjoying quite a lot. Because she's not mentally ill like Caleb, who's depressed and suicidal. A character doesn't have to be unwell to be interesting. People have emotions and struggles anyhow. She's a nice person, she means well; she's a perfect example of someone who is just benefit-of-doubt enough to walk into dangerous spaces in good faith. Which puts her in situations Caleb must interfere with, lest she gets found out as a witch.

They save each other, in a way. :)

Caleb closeted bisexuality is a source of great delight to write a sub-plot for. Caleb, v.s. his ideas of what makes a man, is a fun field to dance on. He has been fed a lot of self-destructive ideas that he tries to live up to.

And Evelyn's nonchalant self-expression is also a great delight to write. She's carefree to the point people mistake her for an airhead and kind of stupid. Which isn't true, she just trust in that there is good in people until proven otherwise, and she tries her best to not let those experiences discourage her from new relationships. I like exploring that strange box that often occurs with her personality type - as though being kind and gentle is somehow dumb or naive.

BUT YEAH, Theyre very fun to write! :)

#ttocw #ttocw ask

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skayafair · 2 months

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Part 40

Ok so I've slept on it and have a few thoughts now.

First, I'm glad HG decided to tone down the emotional intensity of drama and tragedy - I thought it's gonna be difficult to listen to the finale after some s3 episodes, but s4 was mostly ok and the finale turned out to be lots of fun! I was smiling widely for the most of it. It even made me somewhat like Kayne! A little bit but still!

Second, we didn't "see" Noel die - great, he lives until proven otherwise. Arthur survived a similar injury, people in this universe are surprisingly durable. Noel lasted this long with a neck injury and didn't die - if Kayne didn't yeet him to some wilderness or worse, he'll live. Possible to pol up later.

Third, I thought Arthur was robbed of all his newfound allies, but I was wrong. Daniel and Marie are still in the picture, so Arthur has human "anchors", he's not alone anymore.

Who Arthur WAS robbed of, are allies who can go with him. Oscar is in the hospital and is abandoned in general, Noel... who knows where, and the surprising newcomer in Butcher's face is obliterated. It reminds me of how a lot of official "uncanon" spin-offs of different show return to status quo in the end of he series because they need to keep the cast the same and otherwise the whole outline of the show may change a lot. I'm not sure if that's the case with Malevolent since... yeah, we had a full season of a wider range of characters, but they were concentrated in the same location, which was convenient. How would this work in other cases? Plus, Arthur and John wete going on a vacation trip without anyone else anyway. Also, damn you Kayne for ruining this! They deserve the vacation!

So all in all we're back to where we started, more or less. It was a neat wrap up of the season, together with the location, new characters, some side quests and even a few answers (wild, I know).

For instance, now we know Yellow actually WAS the King in person. Seems like John is rather a big piece of him if Arthur didn't even notice any difference in the entity at first. I kinda liked my idea that Yellow might have been Kayne's creation completely, a simulacrum just for funsies, because Kayne's idea of fun is cruel. So there would have been Arthur suffering from loss of his dear friend and dealing with this ye olde version if him, John suffering either in Dreamlands or in the Dark World, and Yellow, suffering from all the confusion regarding his identity. Imagine how painful it is after all the efforts to remember, to be what you think you were, just to find out that you never were in the first place. All the "I AM THE KING" gone sour and groundless. That might have broken a newborn consciousness of Yellow, his adopted identity. But he also could have explored it and become something new altogether. Man I'd like to read a fic like that.

But he's the KiY, which is why not, too. He has some new info to work with. New lasting impressions to process. I bet those little adventures in the human world and time with Arthur, time with Larson, short and heated but still... connected argument with John won't go without a trace. Damn I wanted them to talk properly SO BAD and now we're unlikely to get it, ever 😭 But at least there was John, clearly uneasy with the idea of killing Yellow. I don't think it's just his concern about himself vanishing as well. He souned rather sympathetic towards Yellow when they talked about him with Arthur. This warms my heart.

Right. There are 3 things related to this.

John's attitude towards Yellow and the King (Yellow still has amnesia so I can't consider him the King, the personas are different) in pt 40, towards the complete separation from them reminded me of going full no contact with abusive/toxic family. It's hard, and one would often wonder if they survive on their own. Arthur having faith in him didn't ensure anything but helped, I think.

The King and John are fully separated now, so John must be safe-er (if Kayne didn't lie) and his journey is more his now. It isn't even remotely perfect since he's still stuck with Arthur but it's still good news. And I believe they don't have to worry about the King anymore. If he regains his memories, he'll know John is of no use to him anymore, and there's no use to try and hunt these two down since they'll win SOMEHOW eventually, anyway. They have powerful patrons. *wink wink*

Maybe some time later, like, muuuuch later, they will be able to talk properly. Like equals. To exchange experience, impressions. The King values art and knowledge, and so does John. I believe his curiosity is an inherent trait they both share. C'mon. The King is too possessive to let such a chance go. GIMME THEIR CONVERSATIONS I NEED THESE

Also, I'm concerned about Larson. Sure he's half-dead (seriously, 3 gunshot wounds in the body - stomach and back, - strangulation, eye snatching, and he's STILL alive, can he just roll over and die please? As a treat?), but physical form has never been his forte anyway. He successfully brainwashed Yellow and tried to do the same to John (ahaha that was a funny attempt, well, would have been, be John not losing himself at the moment, but the outcome was still pretty much predictable and laughable), his power is in his mind. His words are poison, and he can still speak. I am NOT ok with that. With what he can do to Yellow/the King. What if he talks him into something terrible again. Leave my bby be ffs, Yellow deserves some peace and quiet of his home in Dreamlands. Seriously, Larson is terrible to children and I've said it multiple times that Yellow really reminds me of a rebellious teenager.

Next, I've missed the first 5 minutes or so, so I don't know if it's relevant, but CAN SOMEONE PLEASE explain to me like I'm 5 what was up with the Butcher? It was the most out of blue twist ever. Why did he agree to help? Why did he go against Larson when he was so persistent before? I understand maybe admitting defeat and a respect towards Arthur and Noel who caught him, but helping? Was he promised to be set free of smth? I'll relisten fron the very beginning but uh will it really clear thus up?..

Also. When I said "some answers", it was really just a few. We still have no idea what's up with the 3 soldiers, that woman in the woods, the stone. Is Kayne going to show something about that?

And do we just leave the ultimate purpose, the separation device, sitting in that underground place, just like that?

And I did NOT like how defeated, lifeless Arthur sounded when he agreed to go with Kayne. What's the big deal?? He KNEW John was hiding something, knew it was important, could deduce there was some lie due to Johns intense interest in white lies topic, and it wouldn't have been a stretch to assume John really DOESN'T LIKE lying to him if it can be helped and wouldn't harm them (intentionally). Which, it couldn't. All this, prior to Kayne's appearance. All that conversation did was fill in the blanks. Now Arthur has a clear picture. John didn't say anything that could put a blame on himself. If anything, his actions and behavior make so much more sense now. Arthur is WELL aware about the fact that being left alone in the Dark World is John's WORST fear that came true and lasted. It was one thing to end up there the 1st time. Terrible, traumatizing, but how much WORSE it is to be thrown there again after John learned what it's like to NOT be alone, to be himself? To have hope? Just to lose it all. He called to Kayne only after a long time, when there was nothing to hope fore anymore and he could stand it any longer. Did he hope for Arthur to find him? Even if just a little? Just for that to never happen? And then Arthur's words in the mines, about "let's find each other there". Damn, my heart 💔

I understand Arthur may be somewhat shoked and there was no time to process, but if he's gonna be bitching up bout ANY of that, I'll be angry.

It just. It's the only explanation I can find for why he sounded so... like he gave up. Like the backbone he was relying on betrayed him. When none of that actually happened.

#malevolent podcast #masked #malevolent spoilers #malevolent part 40 #john doe malevolent #yellow malevolent #the king in yellow malevolent #malevolent

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