#I'm so sorry if you all are reading this but I'm truly feeling hopeless and so so useless and alone and the self hating is getting stronger | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whosjunglejim4322 · 1 year

Text

Saccharine - E.M

Warnings ® smut! Fluff, soft bf Eddie<3, first time sex as a couple! Nasty IN LOVE smut bc this bitch is a hopeless romantic! Eddie is super sensitive, Established relationship, you stroke his dick, Eddie almost cums in his pants, lil bit of dry humping, this is incredibly self indulgent but u didn't hear that from me, overly descriptive bc why not

You shouldn't be nervous, really. It's just Eddie, who is your boyfriend of three months and twenty-six days. Who is sitting across from you on his creaky mattress criss-cross style, your knees touching. Your Eddie, who has two big hands flailing in the air as he goes on about the recent campaign, broad mouth etched into a whimsical smile, big eyes wondrous and full of excitement for the tale.

The bed bounces with his enthusiasm, and you draw closer to him with each syllable.

Your Eddie, who is doing nothing out of the ordinary, and who is as beautiful as ever in loose fitting plaid pyjama bottoms and a tattered black tee that exposes half of his collarbone and smudges of black ink - he doesn't even have to try, and perhaps these simple mundane realizations are what cause the flutter of wings in the pit of your stomach.

"And then Mike - hey, you okay?"

If it weren't for his vast change in expression, you truly wouldn't have realized what a trance you're in. Between the furrow of his unkempt brows and the amused but curious tilt at the corner of his mouth, you come back to earth. The weight of gravity settles in your bone marrow, as his calloused thumb quickly strokes your chin as if to remind you he is still here.

"I - yeah yeah, sorry I just," you grab his hand by the heaviness of his wrist, dragging it into your lap so you can stroke the back of his rough knuckles. "got distracted s'all."

Your eyes divert to where your fingers are joined and the sound of his airy, through-the-nose chuckle has more heat blossoming behind your ribcage, nudging at your organs.

"I'll stop with the D&D talk, know you hear enough about it from the kids. There's only so much dorkiness you should be subjected to, y'know?"

It's lighthearted, he's smirking and looking down at you with enough palpable fondness the apples of your cheeks feel like they're being stroked by a flame. Still, the implication that he may be bothering you in any way has an urgency filling your eyes. You shake your head.

"No, no that never bothers me Eds, don't be silly." The nickname makes his mouth dry, still, after three months and twenty-six days. You finally meet his glance. "You're just handsome, really handsome especially when you're talking about something you're passionate about and I just...yeah."

It's word vomit, messy and you feel like it makes no sense but then he squeezes your hand and you know that he reads between the nervous mumbo jumbo - you have no clue how you make him feel, do you?

"You're fucking cute." He breathes out earnestly, smoothing his grip upwards to your forearms and pulling you forward with minimal effort - right onto the stirdiness of his lap.

Your giddiness is the perfect portrait, your arms finding a resting place atop his broad shoulders. Curls tickle the tops of your arms and your wrists, and your thighs brace your frame by the slim of his taut waist. He can't help it, the giggles escaping his throat. The proximity is intoxicating for no reason at all.

"Can't believe this is our first time spending the night together, I'm so used to falling asleep on the phone with you that it really doesn't feel all that different." He smooths your hair out of your eyes, tucks it behind your left ear.

I get to touch her like this, he thinks to himself. His chest jostles underneath the muscle and bone.

"Yeah, except I get to fall asleep with you'n my arms, wake up with you in em' too. I'm one lucky son of a bitch, hmm?"

He's practically thinking out loud, but he's too far gone to feel shame. When you nuzzle your face against the warm nook of his neck, wet lips smiling against the flesh, his encapsulating arms squeeze you impossibly tighter. He buries his nose against the top of your head, inhaling the fresh scent of your shampoo. Your cheek grazes the side of his jaw as you meet him face to face, nose to nose.

He sees you trying to formulate words, a sentence, even a sound but none of it seems like a totally accurate way to express the adoration threatening to consume you from the inside out. You graze his cheek with your mouth, slowly, tentatively, and he hangs on with half an air full of lungs.

You suckle his bottom lip and he sighs into your mouth, the relief making him lightheaded. He kicks into gear and pushes back with an overlap of his mouth - hands wandering over the small of your back, to your soft lovehandles and upwards until his fingrtips have passed your jugular and he's holding your face as tenderly as you're holding his.

It's now, when you feel it - the growing firmness beneath he thin material of his bottoms. He tries to keep it at bay but it's damn near impossible, and the whimper, the fucking whimper you let out when his soft tongue touches yours from the warm cavern of your mouth - he couldn't stop it from twitching even if he wanted to. He's only a man.

And you're a menace. As new as this is, your body reacts to the prod in between your legs, underneath your crotch. You press yourself tighter to his frame, hips scooching against his hard-on in the process and he stiffens.

"Mmm, baby baby..." your pout is immediate when he breaks from your mouth, brows furrowed and lips a kiss bitten fuschia. For a moment, you think you've taken it too far too fast - he's stopped you from moving completely. Your whole body burns with a tingly sensation somewhere between shame and the aftershocks of arousal.

"Are you...are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

You sound so sweet, it makes his lower belly ache among other things. He stifles a laugh brcause he knows it will only make you feel worse. Something wrong. Something wrong.

"Fuck no, I-sorry I just uh...almost..." He can't bring himself to say it, you guys haven't even been kissing for five whole minutes and here he is about to blow his load. When you realize how close his dark lashes are from kissing his cheeks, how his pupils have almost turned the whole of his irises onyx, you connect the dots.

Woah, you did that to him? That moth in your belly threatens to take flight, and without much thought, your mouth is moving before you can stop it.

"I wanna see."

Those are the only words your brain allows you to spit out. His chest has gone still, and you feel that twitch against your center again. Your thighs have begun to tremble.

"You wanna see...? My cock?" He shouldn't sound so incredulous. You're his girlfriend for christ's sake, but you are important to him. More important than he ever thought anyone could be, and so he has kept his lust at a minimum of 48% when he's around you for the most part. Save for intense makeout sessions.

"Yeah, I wanna...well I wanna know how to make you feel good."

He's worried for a moment that he's having another wet dream, but he's sure this is real life because he feels how warm you are against him and you are so close he can see his own reflection in your eyes. You toy with the shell of his ear and a chill ascends his spine.

"Sweetheart if you touch me m'not gonna last long." His skin is pink and scarlet, and he's gotten at least ten degrees hotter judging by the heat billowing off of the back of his neck. His adams apple bobs when he swallows.

"That's okay, really it is. You have nothing to be embarrassed about....I like it. Like that I make you feel that way. " You rake your fingers through the front of his hair, pushing it away from his pretty face. He checks your eyes again, needing confirmation.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do anything you don't want to." He gnaws on the inside of his plush mouth, tries to calm the animal inside of him that wants to fuck your brains out right now. He almost feels guilty just thinking about it, until you lean over to peck the side of his stubbly chin, fingertips grazing his taut belly.

"Yes, really wanna."

There is a curious, nervous anticipation in the crinkle underneath your eyes.

"Kay' baby, explore all you want." The boyish smirk he gives is enough to have that knee buckling tingling sensation coming back full force as he presents himself to you like this. Does he seem as pulled together and totally not overly nervous as he thinks he does? Probably not.

His arms depart from your body, ribs expanding as he reclines on his palms. Tendons flex and stretch underneath the black bats and fuzzy layer of hair atop his forearm. You swallow, intimidated by the beauty of the boy.

You find the courage to finally move off of his lap so that you can take him all in, and the bulge of his cock swipes the underside of your thigh as you slide off.

You don't know where to touch first. That's a lie, your hands almost instinctively slip underneath the hem of his old shirt, where that dark thatch of hair trails under his belly button. He's soft, so soft it's unreal, he is velvet and delicious scarring and beauty marks. His tummy convulses underneath your hand.

He watches you with complete fixation. You have your bottom lip tucked between your teeth and you don't even realize it, all perched and pretty in front of him. He closes his eyes when you explore his sides, over the planes and arches and past the small stretch marks by his chest.

You can't ignore it anymore, the tent that has formed at his crotch and continues to throb with each passing touch.

The blunt of your nails rake down the soft plaid covering thick thighs, and he takes this sharp breath that has you glancing up at him with heavy eyes.

"So pretty...Eds you're so pretty." You say it ardently, your voice small and weak. An arm reaches down, strong but gentle as he strokes the back of your plush cheek with his ring covered knuckles.

"Can't fucking believe...can't believe you're mine, finally. Shit." He's almost murmuring to himself again, on the verge of cardiac arrest. Maybe he's losing his mind, maybe this is heaven.

Then your palm presses against the thick of his cock where it's bulging out, and his thighs spasm.

"Oh, oh." He's all curses and praises, giving you encouraging glances each time you look up at him to silently ask for guidance. You move your hand up and down what you assume is his shaft, and he keeps his hips from bucking into your touch. He feels thick, and the back of your mouth starts to water.

Without warning you're hooking your fingers into his waistband, and he lifts his hips in compliance so that you can pull them down to his mid thigh. He has no time for nerves anymore. Any fear he previously had about what his dick looks like, or what you'll think of it, is stripped along with his clothing. You're looking at him with too much love for him to be insecure - and that takes him by surprise the most.

At this point his checkered boxers are just in the way, and you take it upon yourself to pull those down too. A thud hits his belly.

And really, you should've known. He's big. Not because he's impossibly long, his size is above average but he's thick - the tip iridescent with precum, the same shade of plum as his lips underneath the slick sheen. He is slightly curved upwards, a prominent vein decorating the underside parallel to his frenulum. It's pretty, just like the rest of him. He's neatly trimmed, which is the most surprising part if you're honest - but nothing about Eddie could ever be displeasing to look at.

Your mouth is parted with this expression of surprise, and Eddie almost can't believe what this is doing for his ego.

"Woah." Is all you say, transfixed when you reach out to grasp the appendage. He hisses through his teeth when your small hand finally grasps it, so fucking warm and so gentle it's almost maddening. You both feel it, the invisible weight that has settled in his small, messy room.

The weight of being alone, together, all night and all of tomorrow afternoon while his uncle Wayne is away on a business trip that is probably more lucrative than what he leads on - but Wayne has never been one to boast or speak about things like that out loud. Says it'll jinx the whole thing.

The feeling hits you first, as you find this foreign courage to lean over and dribble spit over the slit of his cock. He gasps, watching the glob of saliva drip down the front of his dick till it's soaking into the curls at his pubic mound.

"Is this okay?" You already know the answer but you ask anyways, taking more pride than you should at the expression on the pretty metalheads face. He nods his head fervently, unable to respond right away.

You twist your palm, spreading your spit further until his whole head is covered and you're able to stroke him with no resistance.

"Fuuuck, yes. Yeah, that's so good baby." He's panting as you begin to properly jerk the tip of him off, the sounds in the room too lewd for you to handle. A squelchy feeling has developed between your thighs, led by each filthy groan that leaves your boyfriend's throat.

Then you're looking at him through fluttery lashes and a gone expression, with your chest rising and falling almost as rapidly as his and thick fingers grasp your wrist quickly, rougher than anticipated.

"Sorry, just - close."

Seeing his hand blanket yours over his cock is doing something to you. You know his palms like your own, hold them more than you look at your own, and yet right now such a sweet thing has never been more provocative.

"Shh, no more apologizing," you lean over and he meets you in the middle. The kiss is sloppy this time, evidence of the maddening desire taking him over from the inside out.

"Not fair," his voice is strained through your mouths ministrations. "Got me all worked up and you're sitting there neglected." He smiles and his tongue strokes your bottom lip. You shudder as that heat comes in an overwhelming wave.

He's gripping the back of your neck now, properly hungry and your hand continues its ministrations between your bodies, that wet sound prompting a shared groan from the both of you - intensifying the feeling. His nose is scrunched against your cheek from the vigour of his kisses.

"You can undress me."

He doesn't waste time once you've granted him verbal permission, and with an exhale you're being tipped over onto your back, breathing in the weight of him as nimble and eager fingers pull his tee shirt over and off your body.

"Jesus," He whines, and you're captivated by the look on his face. It's impossible not to feel flustered.

"Can I-" you don't let him finish.

"Yes, please touch me." You're just as fucked as he is, arching your chest upwards and into the warm, all encompassing mass of his palm. He stifles a groan, cock bobbing up and down in the space between you two, dribbling with a bead of pre arousal. You feel like you're losing your mind.

Eddie short circuits for about five whole seconds flat, and he can't concentrate. He makes a bee - line to your chest, plush lips sucking your swollen nipples into his mouth. A gasp and a pulse of your poor clit later, and your fingers delve into his curls like they'll keep you here in this moment forever.

He's sloppy, moving between the valley of your breasts to the other one, leaving trails of spit across your flesh.

"Eddie, that - that feels so good, can't - mmph." You're a mess. How are you such a mess? He's a phantom, a head of hair across your sternum until he glances up at you with saliva soaked lips and red cheeks and a sweaty forehead.

"Sweet girl, oh god I can't believe..." All you taste is him, the words being uttered between the space when he forces himself to breathe. "can't believe you're all mine, wanna make you feel so fucking good. Give you anythin' you want."

He lies his full weight on you, and through the thin sleeping shorts you've got on, his cock beckons you with throbs and weeps. You feel drunk off of him, every sense surrounded by Eddie. Eddie. Eddie.

His shampoo from two days ago, the old spice lingering under his arms, the natural scent of his skin, the sweetness of his breath and the perspiration that's formed in little beads on his upper lip. He's all but devouring you, lust and admiration for the angel beneath him taking over any sense of importance regarding anything else.

Your heels dig into the back of his bum, knees pulling inward so that his hips come clashing into yours. Your fingernails claw on the material covering his back, taking it upon themselves to pull it over his head. He's beaming like a kid in a candy store at your eagerness, eyes all crinkly underneath.

"Want me to grab a rubber now?" He mumbles between the sloppy kisses, hoping you can't hear the hitch in his throat at the prospect of this finally happening.

"Mhmm, yes." It feels just as surreal for you.

He whines as he departs, reaching over across your head to pull open his bedside drawer and ungracefully tear open the new box of condoms. His eyebrows are furrowed, arms flexing with intensity from his excitement. He groans out of frustration, and you giggle, grasping his thick forearm.

"Let me help baby." You reach in the drawer for him and pull the box out, finishing the rip he'd made and pulling out a metallic row of squares. You tear one at the perforation and hand it to him, grinning at the entire situation. He huffs and rests his forehead between the valley of your breasts.

"What would I do without you?" He mutters, matching your expression when he lifts his head back up and pushes forward to kiss you on the tip of your nose.

"Not have sex, I suppose." You bite back with no hint of malice, only an insurmountable level of love and he sees it shimmering everywhere around you. His girl. His.

"You're somethin' else, sweetheart." He mouths the side of your face, across your jaw and underneath your ear.

You feel like you're in a psychological limbo, in a world between consciousness as he sits back on his haunches and lifts his shirt off of his body from the back of his collar. That may be a dramatic sentiment to many, but it's fitting.

He does it so casually, throws his shirt to the side with the rest of discarded clothing and stray items that live on his bedroom floor. You feel weak in the knees when he tears the condom package and pulls out the slippery rubber, unraveling it before bringing it down to his cock.

You watch his face the way his pink tongue darts out and nips the tip of his tongue, brows furrowed in concentration and arousal as he fits the condom down his thick shaft. You watch his biceps twist, his taut abdomen clench, the black ink coming alive with the ministrations of his muscles underneath.

When he meets your eyes again, you look completely overtaken with desire, eyelids heavy and breath bated. Your pebbled nipples stand at full attention, mimicking his dick and Eddie hooks his fingers underneath those infuriatingly sexy shorts of yours so that he can get rid of them.

You're not wearing underwear. Of course you aren't. Your entire existence is specifically designed to test the bounds of his composure, of his strength. The gold room lighting from his lamp illuminates your body and your shy thighs only part when he's placing his palms between them, slowly encouraging them to allow him a peek or two.

You reach out to stroke his arms as he separates your legs, his jaw hanging ever so slack, cock twitching just a few centimeters away from your opening.

"Fucking hell...you're so goddamn pretty." He strains, swallowing hard as he touches you with hesitant hands, as if he's scared to break you. Your hips lift, just enough to make contact with the tip of his dick and you whine. It's a sound so sweet he almost whimpers himself.

"Please, Eds. I want you inside of me. Please."

His stomach tightens and he crawls over you once again, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

He maintains eye contact, breath fanning your mouth as he slips an arm between your bodies and grips his shaft, lining it up with your entrance. Your thighs lift towards your chest, ankles stationed at his waist, and you feel the welcome intrusion of his tip as it passes your slick labia.

You both take a breath in, your fingers needing a vice and moving to the back of his neck as he pivots his hips forward and slips himself into the tightness of your cunt. The stretch causes you to hiss, both in pleasure and pain.

"You okay? Let me know if I need to stop." He grunts, kissing your chin.

"M'okay, don't you dare stop."

His eyelids flutter in tandem with yours, a choked moan leaving his throat as he continues to push himself in, till he's nudging against the soft roundness of your cervix and his balls are resting against your ass.

It feels right. Having him this deep, this close.

You shudder nuzzling your face against the bicep that holds him up. You kiss the skin there and he groans, dragging himself back out and then back in. Your whole body jostles with the movement.

"Jesus Christ, how do you feel s'fucking good? I don't - I can't, fuck." He's a slur of words, beginning to form a steady rhythm. Your moans are more like squeaks the faster he goes, increasing the lewd, sticky sounds between your legs that squelch with each drag and pull of his cock.

"Eddie...E-eddie." Your words are hiccuped from the impact, his hair dangling in your face, tickling your cheeks. His belly is pressed right against yours, the curls at the mound of his pelvis pressed against yours. He lets out this pained sound and goes to bury his face in the crook of your neck.

"My name, fuck say it again. Say it again." It's muffled but you can hear it right underneath your ear, his lips a soft vibration against your flesh. You feel so full, it's hard to speak at all. To say anything other than his name. So you recite it like it's the only words you know.

"Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie." They're all punctuated with a whimper that starts from your diaphragm and crawls it's way out of your throat, pistoned by his hips and their grueling ministrations. Skin against skin can be heard from down the park, you're convinced, with how he's fucking you.

Eddie is fucking you. Your boyfriend, Eddie, is fucking you.

"Ohhhh, god, please." You cry out, heels digging into his back, hands splayed across the broad expanse of his shoulder blades. Every breath that passes his lips is followed by a grunt, a groan, a sound that is so close to agony and even closer to toe curling pleasure.

Each stroke of his cock inside of you feels like a pull into his being, and you get frustrated with the fact that you can't see his face, tugging at the back of his neck.

When you look up at the boy above you, reality, for once, feels like the most beautiful thing you've ever endured.

He's flushed, all sweat and shades of pink and red. His eyes are glassy, mirroring yours in the way that it almost looks like he could shed a tear. You move his sticky bangs from his forehead and Eddie is sucker punched in the gut with a wave of adoration.

"Oh, sweetheart," he leans down, slowing his thrusts so that he can kiss you steadily, purposefully. Somehow he feels deeper this way impossibly so, and he nips your bottom lip when you flutter around him. "didn't mean to...to not show you attention m'sorry, just...you feel so good. S'like heaven."

He's half sober half drunk on your pussy and it's so fucking endearing. Neither of you can make out a coherent sentence.

"Keep - keep going, just like that, ohhh." You glance down between your bodies and somewhere behind your organs a warmth, teetering unbearable, flutters throughout your limbs. His arms shake with the fight to hold himself up, until he doesn't anymore, and slips his hands underneath you till they're sandwiched between the mattress and your back. Snug, safe, he engulfs you.

His thrusts are deep and slow now, meaningful instead of mindless bunny fucking. Which, he's not opposed to, but you're you. He wants to fuck you like he might not ever get the chance to again.

"I love you, I love you." He whimpers against the crook of your shoulder. You hold him with the same ferocity that he's holding you, staring up at the ceiling and the stars that blanket your vision instead of the fan above.

"I love you too, fuck, Eddie."

He makes this noise, it's almost pathetic. Petulant. That coil holding you tight, snaps and all at once you're gasping, thighs a deadly grip around his waist.

"Cu-Cumming, I'm cumming." Your walls flex and spasm around his length and Eddie thinks he might pass out. You're still twitching and whining his name with his balls are emptying, when he's spurting into the condom, nudging your cervix.

"Fuck, fuck just like tha- ohhh fuck." He thrusts like he's fucking his cum into you, like he's filling your womb up and making you his forever. He made you cum. He's never felt this high before, and he's a fucking drug dealer.

It's a mixture of panting and the thud of your shared heartbeat for what feels like eternity and one split second. You feel his lips peppering soft, gentle kisses along your jugular, and your fingers trace lines up and down his warm back as his cock softens inside of you.

He rubs his cheek against you, and your fingers pull his hair away from his pretty face. He's looking at you with so much love you could burst again.

"I love you so much." He speaks tenderly, softly, for once. It's scary and breathtaking all at once. The tip of his nose rubs yours, your smiles a reflection of the other.

"I love you too, Munson."

And you do. You really fucking do.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #joseph quinn #stranger things #stranger things x reader #joseph quinn x reader #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson has my heart

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awearywritersworld · 2 months

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Hii this is so random but do you think Sukuna has cute aggression? I can totally see him experience cute aggression towards Reader haha like pinching her cheeks or something I don't know

-☁️

CLOUD NONNIE I LOVE THIS SOSOSOSO MUCH

tags: fluff. curse words. 500 words.

as he looks down at your sleeping form, your head resting comfortably on his lap, he can't help but feel an uncomfortable pull in his chest.

his teeth grind together and his fingers twitch, a response that leaves him puzzled.

he's reading a good book. he is with you. there are still many hours left in the night. he should be content.

so why does he feel such... agitation.

his hand reaches toward your face, and while he swears he means to do nothing more than caress your cheek, he finds himself pinching your skin between his fingers.

he doesn't realize he's done it until you jolt, staring up at him with sleepy yet wide eyes that seem to beg the question "what the hell?"

"sorry," he says evenly.

"was i snoring or something? there are gentler ways to wake me up, you know," you grumble.

"you weren't snoring. i didn't intend to do that."

your eyebrows knit. "you didn't intend to nearly rip the skin off my face?"

"now you're just being dramatic."

you let out a breath of a laugh, "maybe."

you stretch your arms above your head, and one of your hands moves to cover your mouth as you let out something between a sigh and a yawn.

and he feels it again. more intensely this time.

your shirt's ridden up, so he reaches for the plump flesh it reveals and squeezes it between his thumb and pointer finger.

slapping his hand away, you finally sit up. "hello???? that hurts. have you discovered intrusive thoughts or something? you're supposed to ignore those."

"intrusive thoughts?"

"yeah. it's when you get unwanted thoughts. for example, about doing something violent—"

"oh. i get those all the time."

you stare at him for a moment before rubbing at your temples. "right. you're hopeless."

"this wasn't that. it was a feeling, not a thought."

"...go on."

perhaps he's said too much, because suddenly he really does not want to explain any further, but he does so anyway.

"it's just that you looked so... pleasing... that it made me feel... things."

once you get over his stellar articulation, you understand the situation and it makes you giggle.

"stop that," he commands, pink dusting his cheeks. "now you just look annoying."

"sorry— i'm sorry," you offer. "it's just that, i wouldn't expect you to experience that."

"experience what?" he questions, agitation lacing his tone.

"cuteness aggression."

"i can't even begin to explain how ridiculous that sounds," he deadpans.

"you think i'm so cute," you begin dreamily. placing your hands on either side of his face, you squeeze his cheeks together. "that it pisses you off. you're just adorable."

if you were anyone else, you'd be terrified by the look he gives you. "you're not cute. you're too infuriating to be cute."

"if you say so," you sing, settling back into your spot with your head on his lap. "just try to control yourself, hm? thought you were supposed to be some sophisticated higher being or whatever."

"shut up and go back to sleep."

i truly believe he would take full advantage of cuteness aggression after this. AND HE'D BE A NIBBLER. god, his teeth would always be leaving little marks on your skin.

he's nibbling on your earlobe and he's nipping at the spot below your ear. it makes you feel so flustered, so you're pushing him away.

and in the most dastardly sugary tone he can muster he's like "i can't help it. you're just so cute."

#m!answers #m!writes #masq #i iiii neeed him so bad guys ss #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna imagines #sukuna fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jjk fluff

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kalki-tarot · 5 months

Text

CHANNELED LOVE LETTER FROM FUTURE SPOUSE ♡

my readings are for entertainment purposes only! tarot is a divination tool. it is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i don’t take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please be mindful of your own choices and actions ♡

PILE 1

Hello beautiful/handsome,

I saw you in the party, where everyone was busy with themselves, with their own groups. And you, you were sitting alone, pouring your own drink. You looked very beautiful to me. Just like a queen/king. Your straightforwardness and dominant behavior, is what I love the most. I crave you, dear. Oh. I can literally fight to win you. You are just like a prize. You have your priorities clear. Even if it's a run and chase, I'll follow you everywhere till my heart stops and i die.

You are very career oriented, you don't bs unnecessarily. I love your perception of life. I love how you stand up for yourself, even if you're alone. You are just like a Queen to me. You seem very distant, as if you're lost in your dreams. You have that dreamy side of yours too? I don't know. I just observe you from afar. You give me such soothing vibes, I just love being around you.

You make me forget my miseries. I love how you don't do wrong to anyone. You are very compassionate and loving. You can give love to even non living objects. You're so full of love. That makes me wanna love you, even more. Sweetheart. I love you. I want to pursue you, i want to make you mine. Do you think the same? Do you love me just the way I love you? I'm waiting for your answer.

Yours faithfully,

Love.

PILE 2

I don't have the right words to truly express what I feel. I'm not in a good place right now. It feels as if everyone has given up on me. I'm sorry if I'm I'm making you uncomfortable but certain situations are out of my hands. I feel left out in the cold. I have the responsibility of my family on my shoulders. I'm trying to make fast changes. I'm trying to do everything on my own.

I'm very repressive of my emotions. I was not taught how to deal with them. Sometimes I try to run away from life. But then I get reminded of you. I look at the night's sky, full of stars and I wonder maybe you are like a star too. Lightening the dark and cold world with compassion and warmth. You give me true strength. And I'm forever grateful for your presence in my life. I'm holding onto a lot of things right now. I know i should let everything free, even myself. It's okay to make mistakes, right?

After every storm, there is a deep silence. Where everything remains silent, destroyed and out of control. No matter what life throws at me, I'll come back to you with ten times more strength, power & especially love and respect for you. It's life after all, right? Everything comes and goes. Maybe these times will pass? But I'll love you more with each passing moment for sure.

Yours Only Forever

💗

PILE 3

I have too much of love and wealth. And that too much is being sucked off by others. I don't know what to do. Money can't buy love, sweetheart. I'm in a toxic relationship. They are taking away my everything. Literally everything.

I don't remember the last time I laughed. The money I earned through hard work, the morals and kindness my family taught me, everything is in vain. Everything is slowly leaving my body. I feel empty from inside. This person is taking away it all.

But I'm working hard, more hard, harder than even. So that I can provide you a better lifestyle. I can't expect anything from anyone. I have to do it all alone. Please remember me in your prayers. I'm afraid to let go. Everything is being taken away from me. I don't know what to do, I'm confused. I'm not sure which road to take. I believe the universe will guide me where I'm supposed to be, near you. I'm depressed nowadays. Very hopeless.

But I'm doing whatever i can do right now. I'm unable to even sleep at night. They lied to me. They deceived me. They were my life partner, but there was nothing "life-like" with them. It was just a relationship built on money. And you know how these type of things end. There is no emotion left in me. I'm blank. I don't know. They left me in the middle of the road.

PILE 4

Hello pretty soul ♡

You know what? I see you every where. Whenever I go, wherever I go. I see you, i get reminded of you, by the flowers, the clovers, the river, the clouds and even the sun! You are a beautiful and positive person! You are such a great fighter! Whatever obstacles comes between our happiness, you remove it all. I get so happy and optimistic near you, my love. I'll fight with literally anyone for you, just for you.

You bring absolute calmness and peace into my chaotic life. You are a sweet breeze flowing softly over my cheeks on a warm, sunny day making me blush. I want to take care of you and love you for eternity. I want to offer you all the love that I have inside me, just for you babygirl/boy. I want to experience new things with you everyday. You make my life feel lively. ✨️

Dear, sometimes I too get lost in my past, that was not, unfortunately that happy for sure. I got lied to, i was betrayed by someone I called mine. I can't sleep properly due to this. I get nightmares and I get so f*king scared. I feel anxious and uncomfortable. But the good news is! I'm forgetting it day by day. Just a little progress makes it a whole lot of progress. I don't want to remember all these with you. I'm working hard, I'm moving forward. And i hope you're too <3

By,

Your one and only . ❤️

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moethewriter · 5 months

Note

Idk if you're comfortable doing these but maybe reader is on their month and needs comfort from finnick. Had mine last week the cramps, nausea and back pain was crazy fr lol. Or maybe just a comfort reading been a rough week

Please and thank you have a lovely day 🫶🏾

Of course I can write that anon! Periods are the worst. TITLE: Chamomile Delights WORD COUNT: 1.1k WARNINGS: Period content, fluff TAGS: Can be read as gn!reader (women aren't the only ones who get periods y'all!) A/N: Loved writing this one! Periods are ass, and as a non-binary person who gets them, we all need a little comfort! Hope you all enjoy this! I'm still not feeling 100%, this flu is lingering my friends, but writing has been taking my mind off of that! Love yall! Also not beta read as per usual, sorry for any spelling mistakes! Haha! -

It had come early, and to say you weren’t happy was an understatement. You wanted to die, truly lay down and allow yourself to become one with the earth because anything would be better than this shit. You didn’t remember the last time you felt this horrible during your cycle, usually you could manage but today was just … awful. Everything made you want to cry, or you when something inconvenienced you, you wanted to chuck it against the wall and watch it smash. You were nauseated at the smell of anything Mags brought you to eat, and to top it all of you just felt so fucking miserable.

Finnick had been gone for a few days, off in The Capitol, when your period had started, usually he would be there to provide any sort of comfort you needed but right now you were alone. You couldn’t blame him, Snow had summoned him and many other Victors for a week of galas and to introduce the new Victors. You feigned illness, which in some ways was true, but you were upset he couldn’t stay with you. Had you known it would start, you probably would have gone because at least then you would have your built in space heater.

You wanted to have him near you, as childish as it sounded. He always made you feel better and doted on you. He made you feel better and knew how to take care of you. But mostly you just missed him. His comforting smile, the way he would rub your lower back and just hold you to help you fall asleep. You were miserable without him, and you looked like shit. It wasn’t ideal, but you could make it through the worst alone if you had too. You felt like something that had just crawled out of a sewer drain, and you were sure you looked like it too.

Finnick hated seeing you so ill. He always wanted to make you feel better in whatever way he could. Whether that was holding you while you angrily muttered and cursed at the world for having cramps, or making you a small dinner that he knew wouldn’t make you sick. Well more like got Mags to make something while he presented it to you, he had never been the best cook and when you weren’t well he knew it was hopeless to try and feed you anything he made, it was sweet the way he tried so hard.

Some days he was a pain in your ass, but you didn’t mind that anymore.

“When he gets home, I swear I’m going to kill him.” You whispered, throwing a pillow over your head, maybe if you suffocate yourself enough, the lack of oxygen flow would stop the pain all together. “Damn fucking President Snow calling his ass away. Maybe I’ll kill him next.” You grumbled under the pillow.

“Kill who next?”

You sat up straight, regretting your decision the moment you cramped up a little more. You felt a small wave of nausea hit you as you covered your mouth. You hadn’t expected him home until far later in the week.

“What the fuck?” You muttered, squinting your eyes. “You’re home early.” You observed the glitter on him, his demeanor and the way he was dressed.

It wasn’t unusual for him to come back from The Capitol dressed far differently than anything he wore at home. It wasn’t Finnick’s usual style, he preferred a more low key look when he was in District Four, always had, but he did look gorgeous.

“And you look like shit.” He raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door frame. “Are you in pain?”

“I feel like shit, thanks for the observation, Finn.” You rolled your eyes. “Yes, obviously.” You were far grumpier than you wanted to be but you couldn’t help it right now, the light was too bright and you abdomen felt like it was crushing your insides.

“Ah. I see.” Finnick said, exiting the room.

You grumbled to yourself angrily, desperately searching for a position that gave you any relief, though nothing you had tried worked thus far. At least Finnick was here, despite the annoyance you had at the entire situation, you were thankful he was home early.

“Hot water, and a cup of tea.” Finnick said, returning a few minutes later holding a steaming mug and a small towel.

“Finn.” You felt tears well up in your eyes. “Sorry. I’m not upset, and sorry for being a dick, thank you.” You smiled, as he passed you the cup, you inhaled it and the smile grew.

Chamomile, a luxury to get when you were outside The Capitol. It was your favourite tea, always had been, and he managed to snag a few boxes of it when he could. He always thought of you like that, whenever he could get you something he would.

He sat beside you, gently pressing a kiss into your shoulder and you exhaled deeply at the simple, yet comforting gesture. Having his presence was already a comfort.

“What do you need from me?” He asked, pressing his chin to where he laid the kiss. “You know I’ll do anything for you.”

“Kill me?” You questioned, a teasing tone lacing your words. You sipped the tea he had brought you and felt the warmth take over your body.

“Well … not that.” He snorted into your shoulder, his hands moving to gently massage your sides.

“Thank you for the tea, and the hot water. Hold me, massage my back … work your usual magic Odair, because when I tell you I’ve been so unpleasant these last two days … I’m not lying.” You huffed.

“You’re not always unpleasant?” He teased, moving the massage to your shoulders.

You could feel the deep knots slowly being undone, and you let out a sigh of relief, you hadn’t realized the tension had been that bad.

“I will kick you off this bed.” You warned, shooting him a glare.

“Then who would take such good care of you?” Finnick smiled, continuing to work his magic. “No one can live up to this.” He laughed, a small sound coming from the bass of his throat.

You loved his laugh.

“Hush, let me relax.” You closed your eyes, and focused on his soft humming,

Days like these had always been so miserable, you had gotten so used to riding it out alone, but now you had Finnick. He would always take care of you, and you would in turn, take care of him. There would never be one without the other, not anymore.

“I love you.” You said, simply, leaning into him.

“I love you too.” He said back, holding you closer.

#moeswriting #writing #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #hunger games #the hunger games #fluff

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solarswonderland · 9 months

Text

dear hanbin

pairing: gn!reader x s.hanbin

wc: 0.5k

genre: fluff, highschool au

warnings: nothing really, just hopeless kids in love

summary: writing a love letter to him

a/n: ive never written anything like this before, I'm actually pretty proud of it. please lmk if it was alright 😓😓

*y.i: your initials

you were always a pen-and-paper person.

you didn't like typing down reminders or to-do lists, you preferred writing them down. there was just something so special about writing to you. probably the way you'd have to shake your pen occasionally because you ran out of ink. or the satisfaction you gain when you scratch out a completed task.

which is probably why you're standing in front of sung hanbin's locker, holding a carefully sealed envelope, decorated with hearts and small stickers you found stuffed deep in your desk drawers.

sung hanbin was truly not real, you thought. there was no way that man was real. he was just too good to be true. the adorable smile, the way he helps everyone around him, how he never got mad, how generous, smart, and nice he is. not to mention, he is incredibly handsome as well. it's no joke, everyone was in love with him. which is one reason you were always too scared to ever confess.

but if there was one thing you were confident in, it was your writing. you figured, since you can't form proper sentences in front of him, why not pen down your thoughts in the form of a letter instead? and that's exactly what you did.

you made sure no one was watching you and slipped the envelope into his locker. you breathed a sigh of relief and made you way to your next class.

after you were gone, hanbin made his way to his locker after basketball practice. he opened it and was startled to see a blue-colored envelope fall out. he grabbed it off the floor and opened it. he thought it might have been mistakenly placed in his locker, but instead was surprised when he read the first two words.

dear hanbin,

it was addressed to him after all. although he was tired and sweaty from practice, he was curious. he continued reading the letter.

dear hanbin,

my heart is racing with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, there are so many words i've been wanting to say to you for years, and i finally have the chance.

from the moment i met you in middle school, when you lent me your pencil because i forgot mine, i've liked you. who knows, maybe its love?

your smile lights up my darkest days, and you have never once failed to make me laugh. every interaction, no matter how small or big, is etched into my memory, replaying over and over again like a broken record. i've admired your kindness, your intelligence, and the way you effortlessly make everyone around you feel at ease.

i want you to know that my feelings for you have not faded with time, if anything, they've grown stronger.

i understand that this letter might come as a surprise, and let's be honest, life's unpredictable. but i couldn't hold back my feelings any longer than i already have. whether fate leads us down a path of togetherness or friendship, i just needed you to know the truth that has been in my heart for so long.

no matter what your response may be, i'll respect it. no matter where life takes us, know that you'll always hold a special place in my heart.

with love,

y.i ♡

he smiled to himself as he read it. just as he was closing the letter after re-reading it over and over again, he saw some text in the back which made him laugh.

do you like me?

□ yes □ no

no pressure, you don't have to tick anything right now :)

sorry that's kinda creepy isn't it

i should probably stop writing...

he grabbed a pen and ticked the 'yes' option, quietly giggling to himself.

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saturnianprincess · 2 years

Text

[pick a card] love messages

A short pick-a-card where I channel messages from your current lover/future lover/soulmate or just anyone with who you are or will be romantically involved.

Choose any group group from 1-4 or whichever bear you feel drawn to the most. As always take what resonates and let the rest fly! Hope you enjoy this reading :)

[Group 1] blue bear

Hey sunshine,

I know you are manifesting me and guess what even I am manifesting you! Life has just been about surviving for you lately and trust me I can feel that you have gone through a lot. I am proud of you for being a survivor but please don't feel hopeless, the skies get sunny and clear after the storm. I promise to be the light at the end of your tunnel. You don't have to do this alone, I am always there supporting you (even if I may not be there physically). Please don't dwell on what happened, I know I can't erase that but I promise you wouldn't have to deal with such a thing ever again. I will protect you!

Yours truly

[Some of you who chose this pile have been dwelling a lot about the past. Your future lover/person is saying that you need to heal yourself and let go of the past so that there is space for them to be a part of your life. Keep manifesting the qualities you want your future person to have and try to embody those qualities yourself as well. I am also sensing that some of you have detached yourself from your emotions due to some trauma you may have experienced (i am sorry you had to go through that) but, it's now time to heal it. Also, be open to change don't resist it! Trust the universe, it has some beautiful things planned for you.]

a song from them:

[Group 2] pink bear

hey lover,

How are you? Have you been getting those messages I keep sending you? Yes, it's me trying to connect with you. I am currently working on myself, I might have come across as too arrogant but I swear it's just a facade to protect myself. I have learned a lot of lessons that life has taught me and I am practicing to become the best version of myself for you. I want to build a home with you. A cute family where there's so much love flowing amongst us. I really just want to hold you so tight and give you all my love. I want to be able to give you everything you desire and even more.

Always and forever yours

[Omg, so much lovey-dovey energy in this reading it's so cute! For some of your future lover's higher self is trying to connect with you they are referring to signs or symbols you may see repetitively. Some of you may have met this person recently or you do not know them that well. They have this provider energy, and they really want to fill your cup with love!! Connect to your subconscious to connect with their energy. They are sending you loads and loads of love!]

a song from them:

[Group 3] purple bear

Hey soulmate,

Yeah, I just can't believe that you are real. Damn, I never thought an angel like you could even exist. you are truly my wish come true and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. We really are meant to be. I feel like if I wasn't there at that place that day I might not have ever met you and ngl this does scare me a bit. But I also know your soul has been intertwined with mine for eons and eons. I'm sorry that I have been so impulsive lately but I swear I want to experience life to the fullest with you so I just cannot stay still with you around! My heart gets all fuzzy when I am with you. I can't wait to see the world with you!!!

your fav boy/girl/person,

[Your future lover/spouse is giving me a golden retriever type of energy they are just buzzing with excitement when you are with them. Very wholesome energy! You both meet in a divinely orchestrated manner, it is a fated union of two souls. You might meet them soon or have seen them in your dreams or heard of them through other people. They are mesmerized by your presence.]

a song from them:

[Group 4] yellow bear

Hi y/n,

Life has been shitty to me. This turmoil that I am going through has made me feel like I am incapable of love. I don't know why but I don't have the courage to open my heart again. I have spent sleepless nights thinking about why did I go through that, I did my best but I guess I didn't deserve that. I know you are out there and I know you would never do such a thing but it's hard to keep hope when I see it being taken away from me day by day. But I am thankful for you, I really am. You have taught me that I can heal my heart and trust you to keep it safe. I love you!

Love,

[Your future spouse has been going through a tower moment. They are stressed and anxious about their future. Some of them have been betrayed by a person they trusted dearly while for others they are dealing with their own shadow. All in all a bit of heavy energy for this pile. You are the universe's gift to them and they feel blessed for you.]

a song from them:

©️2022 saturnianprincess | home

#tarotcommunity #tarot cards #pick a card #future spouse #future lovers #romantic #messages from future spouse #Spotify #pariposts

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kitsuvil · 1 year

Note

Hi im not sure if the requests were open or not so if not just ignore it

What about enemies to lovers with tighnari, but the reader has adhd, tighnari doesnt know this and just thinks the reader doesnt focus on his lectures just to annoy him

The reader also doesnt know that tighnari isnt aware of the fact they have adhd. They tought they told them before or someone else did and he is just being rude on purpose.

Now watch tighnari's emberrasment after he finds your adhd meds and goes "oh gods im an idiot"

— misunderstanding [tighnari x gn! adhd! reader]

warnings/notes; fluff, comfort, adhd, mental health, does get slightly angsty in the depressed reader type of way but tighnari comes to fix it ofc <3 i think i made this way more emotional and comfort focused than it should've been sorry anon but i hope it still fits ;;

summary; your emotional breakdows for the past few weeks were all just a misunderstanding? tighnari should learn how to read better. proper summary is technically in the ask i'm just playing around hehe

"Again, Y/N?"

"What?" Your eyes flicker back to the lead ranger who's berating you for disregarding his lessons. For the 6th time this week. You'd think that by now you'd have learned to stop drifting away from his voice and the lecture...

But all he could see is that you truly didn't want to pay attention, you thought that staring at the clouds and people outside mattered more than the instruction he was offering.

"Y/N, please, I understand if you don't think it's important to learn all this, it can be very extensive but... I don't understand why you would ask for extra tutoring if you don't care. Is it just to take away time from me?"

"No, I- I get you're really busy, I would never take advantage of you like that, I really want to learn this and become a better forest ranger..."

You'd told him before about how difficult it is for you to memorize the content you're supposed to learn. Everything seems to just leave your mind, entirely without your consent. One day you think you've got something entirely scaled out in your mind, but by the time you have to answer questions about it, you can only stare into nothing and rack your empty brain, just to find not even a hint towards the answer.

You can promise Tighnari that you'd paid attention that day all you want, but you don't have the evidence to prove it. The times you can remember something fully and it stays, you throw a mini-celebration in your head, feeling successful. Yet - you had to constantly remind yourself about the fact that it wouldn't be enough to become as good of a ranger as Tighnari, or even your colleague Collei.

Even the extensive tutoring you'd begged Tighnari to give you wasn't helping, you felt hopeless. Now here he was, getting upset at you for something you couldn't control. You knew he had his eyes on you every time you couldn't stop fidgeting from stress and the overwhelming feeling of what you had to accomplish that day. You felt so... Weak. Didn't he understand your condition? You were almost positive he'd read through the files that were stored somewhere in Gandharva Ville. He did that for everyone. Shouldn't he understand how debilitating having ADHD felt?

"Y/N. You're spacing out again. What do you need from me so that I can actually help you?" Tighnari raised his voice.

Comfort, you wanted to speak out. But instead, you just looked down at your lap in silence. It wouldn't do anything to suddenly spill out your stressors and illness to him. He wasn't a therapist after all, he was just a student, professor, and a ranger at the same time. He doesn't deserve to have more issues thrown on him. Either way, this was something you'd been told to deal with yourself your entire life.

"If you're going to be like this, the session is dismissed for today. I hope you'll be more focused within the class along with the rest of the trainees tomorrow. Be awake bright and early in the morning so you don't miss anything. Although, it seems like you're not getting enough sleep so I might be a little more lenient."

You heaved a sigh of relief, ready to go home and cry your stress out under the comfort of your blankets. At least maybe you could rest a little more in the morning, but it would just be another case of you being portrayed as 'lazy', when all you wanted was to be as active as the others.

"Thank you, goodnight Tighnari," you frowned.

You returned home and let the tears spill the instant you fell into your bed, feeling even more helpless than a few weeks ago when you hadn't asked him for help. He was acting like an ass to you for no reason. You really didn't comprehend why he couldn't have some mercy on you and try to help you learn in other ways that would be memorable.

A knock echoed through the building you slept in and called home. "Yes?" You managed to get out in between choked sobs as you tried to calm down and wipe your face, deciding on pretending to have just been asleep so that your eyebags weren't suspicious.

It was Tighnari who walked in, of course.

"I thought I'd get you some tea, to help you sleep. It's obvious you're not having a good time. I'm sorry if I'm too strict on you, but I can't help you if you don't put in the effort."

You untuck your head from your sheets.

"I've been trying so hard to put in effort, Tighnari. You just... don't care to see it. Thanks for the tea, you can put it on my bedside table."

"Y/N..." He pauses for a moment, coming closer while contemplating on what you said

There's a long silence after he places the hot cup down.

"Shit, Y/N, you're kidding me right?"

"Did I do something wrong again?..." You tensed up.

"No, I- How did I not see this. I'm an actual idiot. This makes so much sense."

You look towards Tighnari to see what was causing his mental spiral.

In his hands was a small bottle, a paper on it labeled as treatment for ADHD.

"Oh, yeah... Sorry, I forgot to take them today. That must be why today was worse than usual..." You rub your hands over your fatigued face.

"That's not it, I'm just... Y/N, you never told me you had ADHD? I've been so hard on you this entire time because I just thought you hated my lectures and teaching and me."

You freeze up after hearing his words, stuck in the element of shock.

"I thought you knew? There's no way you didn't know, it's on my files, isn't it? The ones you read about everyone?"

"You noticed that? I must've just entirely missed it. Y/N, I'm so sorry. No words can explain how I feel right now. I'm so guilty."

"Tighnari, don't stress over it too much. You don't know how relieved I feel right now, I thought you were just entirely dismissing my condition. Don't feel guilty, I understand it was just a big misunderstanding now."

"Still, I'm so sorry. Do you perhaps need some comfort, attention, anything? I don't have anything planned until class in the morning. You can explain things to me for hours, I don't care. My ears are always open to listening whether I like it or not anyway. We're going to plan out a guide that will help you memorize the content more, we can even do experiments and things, I will bring you to a proper forest ranger in no time. I wish I'd known this earlier."

The next morning, the entire group of forest rangers saw Tighnari and you exit from the same bedroom, tired with eyebags present, but you were smiling like never before.

You two were already closely acquainted, where could this go further now that he knew the truth?

THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE PLS IM SOBBING. like actually bcs like partway thru this i teared up and idk if it was the tighnari playlist i was listening to or the kinning what mc feels in this 💀 neurodivergent people unite (though this IS heavily based on how adhd shows itself to me, it'll rarely be the exact same experience for everyone!)

on a side note i rly hope this was written well for u anon, u are my first actual request and i think thats super sweet and i enjoyed writing this a lot, u get a special first request badge <3

#genshin #genshin impact #hoyoverse #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fluff #genshin comfort #tighnari #tighnari x reader #tighnari fluff #tighnari x you #genshin x reader #fluff #vil's reqs💞

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shootinwebs · 25 days

Text

fucked up shortwrite huskerdust fic/excerpt (angel pov) because i'm all fucked up and venting some bullshit

( content warnings: mild NSFW implied, sexual abuse / angel & valentino, graphic imagined gore )

( spoilers: s1:e4 )

I thought having sex with Husk would comfort me.

But, after we'd been kissing and rubbing for a while, and he started to prepare himself to enter me, I clammed up.

I couldn't get it out of my head. Having to fake an orgasm for Val that day, having to cry out the words "I love you" at the peak of it. It made me sick to my stomach. It made every part of me tense up.

"...stop..." I gasped to Husk. My voice was so small, as I was gritting my teeth.

He heard me and backed off.

I hugged myself tightly, folding my legs against my torso.

"...I'm sorry..." I whimpered, starting to cry a little. From the humiliation of what sounds and words I'd had to force out of me with Val hours before.

"...Anything I can do for you?" Husk asked softly, zipping up his pants.

"...I... I want you to stay with me, but please don't touch me..."

Not that I ever fucking read that shit, but...

There's something in Shakespeare about how... something isn't truly the worst until you can no longer say it is. I don't know what it's really supposed to mean, but, to me... it ain't the worst until there are no words. When you can't form them in your head anymore.

There existed a number of words for it. But I didn't have the electricity running in my head enough to think them. Violated, dirtied, tormented. None of them sufficed. But whatever it was, I felt fucking that by the sounds replaying in my head. I wanted to rip my head open and gouge out my fucking brain. A shotgun in my mouth wouldn't be violent enough. I needed to stab myself over and over and over again in my fucking skull and mangle the grey matter and then fucking stomp the shit out of it.

Husk noticed me trembling, and that my eyes were wide and staring at nothing. My breathing had become violent.

He moved to the edge of the bed to sit there, giving me space.

"Hey, if... If you need someone to beat the shit out of, I volunteer," Husk said.

Normally, that would've made me laugh.

But no. With how fucking furious and torn open and disgusting I felt... if I started hitting him, it would be hard for me to stop.

I was scared of how violently enraged I was.

I held my head with my hands pressed over my ears, as if in a feeble attempt to keep the sounds of my own voice in my ineffable memory away.

And a noise came out of me like a low growl. I needed to scream. But it wouldn't come out; I had to build it up.

I kept forcing my voice out, until I was indeed screaming, at the top of my lungs.

I couldn't stop.

Some seconds into it, I felt a soft pressure enclose me.

It wasn't Husk. I would have instinctively gored anyone with my bare hands if they touched me.

When I lost my voice and couldn't scream anymore, and was just a trembling mess with tears running down my face, I noticed it was layers of weighted blankets on top of me.

Husk was still there, at the foot of the bed. Just to be there. Keeping his hands to himself, not trying to console me with empty, hopeless words.

I loved him for it. That way he had of never forcing me to talk about anything, never hugging me if I didn't want it, and most of all, his understanding that, in my circumstances, there were no uplifting words.

He understood and respected the hopelessness of it all. The lost cause.

He knew any "it'll be okay" bullshit would infuriate me, or make me physically ill at best.

He made me feel safe.

Loved.

Known.

I wanted to tell him I loved him, in that moment.

But the phrase had been tarnished.

So I just said his name instead.

"...Hassan..." I whimpered his real name in a painful rasp.

"Yes, baby?"

I just said it again.

And he understood.

#hazbin hotel #huskerdust #angelhusk #casino hearts #angel dust #husk hazbin

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limeade-l3sbian · 3 months

Note

Sorry, this is probably a heavy thing to put on, feel free to delete if this is too much for you to handle, I promise it won't upset me. I'm really considering suicide. I have a lot going on in my personal life and now that my eyes have been opened to how much the world hates women I find it difficult to cope. I truly don't know how to navigate the world knowing half the population wants to cut me up, use my reproductive organs, rape me, kill me, slather me in makeup, mutilate me, beat me, degrade and humiliate me just for being female. I can't trust or make friends anymore. I feel hopeless. Idk what I expect you to say, I just need to get this out and know that at least one person sees it and understands.

I don't know how helpful this will be, but I hope you know that I've been feeling the same way as well. It's part of why I haven't really been super active lately. I've been going through it as well, so I at the very least, hope you don't think you're alone.

This is a very shitty world and we are in this strange limbo right now of things either staying shit or getting shittier. And it's important to me that I don't give you advice that wouldn't personally help me. I think the best advice I can give you is this:

You're not going crazy. This hopelessness you feel is happening in record numbers. And your feelings about all this are completely valid. I hate that they're valid. I wish I could tell you, "But why do you think that's what's happening?" I wish i could be indignant and suggest that perhaps you were just looking too deeply into nothing. But you're not, and that's the biggest curse in being aware of the world around you.

I don't have the perfect answer for you. I wish I could write three paragraphs worth of inspiration and you hit me up two minutes later and tell me that after reading all that, now you want to conquer the world and nothing was going to stand in your way. I don't even have the perfect answer for myself.

I guess the best answer I can give you is that if you left, the world would just be a little more shittier. It would have just a little less sparkle to it that it is already sparse on. Someone's life (including mine, now that I know you exist), will dim in its quality if you were to do it. That hope that everyone grabs onto will lose just a little more grip without you. The world itself would shift in a way that isn't perceivably to you or me.

And that's not to say that you would be selfish to do it. An argument that I absolutely hate. But life would just go from 480p to 360p.

You should stay because what you are contemplating is going to come anyway. I have a post somewhere on here where i talk about how if you are suicidal, the best way to go about doing it is to live. Go out and live more than you ever have. That's when most people die. When they are out living and something out of their control happens. I would rather you die while ziplining with friends than crying and alone in a bathroom.

This sounds harsh, but I would rather all of this than give you some bullshit, "Oh, it's okay, sweetie. Have you talked to anyone? What about therapy? Did you do breathing exercises?"

You should go out and live, anon. And that doesn't even mean spend money. A full life isn't inevitable, but death is.

#ask

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fangswbenefits · 4 months

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Sorry this is long! Don’t feel the need to respond, just had to tell you how much The Arrangement means to me!

Hi, Ruby!! I wanted to reach out and tell you how much I LOVE (!!!) The Arrangement. It is so beautifully written. I can’t get enough of that slow burn that you expertly craft - the romance, the tension, the desperation.

I’m new to the fanfic world mainly because I have some fear surrounding sex that is rooted in trauma. Most smut I’ve stumbled upon is so unfriendly to women and to those who have experienced sexual abuse. I stumbled across your writing because I am obsessed with Astarion & think he’s mad hot. I was nervous because I didn’t want to trigger myself, but I decided to read The Arrangement because I liked the idea of steamy sex with a plot! I was so blown away at how beautifully you wrote this. Not only is it so fucking hot, but you show that there can be beauty in the broken. I was initially attracted to Astarion because, I too, feel like I’ve never belonged to myself. I’ve felt like a freak for being afraid of being touched; the fear of taking things too far even when it’s all that I wanted. I’m not kidding when I say I was actually brought to tears reading this. I felt things in my body and mind that I thought I couldn’t feel anymore, and it gave me a sense of renewed hope. I was so excited that I told my therapist, and she told me that I should definitely keep exploring your work, so that I can keep finding parts of myself that I lost. I was nervous to even reach out to you to tell you this, but I thought you’d like to know.

Thank you, Ruby, for your writing from your heart so that others can read with their’s. I hope to see a book by you on the shelves someday.

Okay.... this actually brought me to tears because I have been where you are. I've come across fics that really touched me in ways that helped me go through days when I felt so down and hopeless. I feel you, my friend 🫂 and knowing that this story can help someone else the same way I was helped really humbles me. I am too harsh on my writing, and I let my mind tell me I'm not doing enough, but... whenever I get feedback like this, that's when I know I need to realise that words hold power and that I am doing my best to deliver this story to all of you.

Astarion is an incredible character that has truly helped so many with how he was brought to life paired with incredible writing. It's an honour to find a voice for him that might help others feel even more connected to him and even find the inspiration to carry on.

You're not alone. None of us are 🫂🩷 sending you a big hug and hoping things get easier. Keep your head up and your heart strong 🫂

#answered ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾#the arrangement

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sasusakucoded · 9 months

Text

Sasuke had to do several marriage proposals to Sakura because he would always fail. He ended up wiping each instance from her memory, so only the perfect one will be kept.

---

In the forest.. A day before his planned proposal, Sasuke searched for a location where the stars and moon were visible.

Sasuke: Sakura..

Sakura: Sasuke-kun? Hmm. Why is it so dark tonight?

Sasuke: Will you marry—

Sakura: Oh no, it's raining— Wait, did you just ask me—

Sasuke: *panics* Damn it! Sharingan! *erases her memory of that night*

---

At the sea side.. Sasuke prepared a big writing of "Marry me, Sakura" on the sand.

Sakura: Such a nice weather, don't you think?

Sasuke: Yeah.. Ah, Sakura? *excited*

Sakura: Hmm? Let's get changed and go swim, Sasuke-kun!

Sasuke: Sakura, wait! I want to show you something. *takes her to the spot*

Sakura: *tries to read the writing* What's that? Marry?

Sasuke: Heck! Why half of it is gone?

Sakura: I-Is this a marriage

Sasuke: Sharingan! *deletes her memory*

---

Outside a cave..

Sakura: Sasuke-kun, do you want some grilled tomatoes for lunch?

Sasuke: Yeah.. But do you want to be an Uchiha? *surprised of that he said*

Sakuta: W-What do you mean?

Sasuke: Sharingan! *wipes out her memory of that moment*

---

On their way to their next mission, the two decided to rest and stay for the night on a big tree branch. Sakura was so exhausted that she fell asleep as soon as he leaned her back on the tree. Sasuke guided her head to his shoulder, so that she could rest more comfortably.

Sasuke: Sakura? Sakura..

Sakura: ...

Sasuke: Are you asleep?

Sakura: ...

Sasuke: *sighs* I'm hopeless at this point.. I can't count how many times I've failed.. Sakura?

Sakura: ...

Sasuke: Sorry if I had to erase your memory multiple times.. I want it to be perfect.. Because that's what you deserve.. But I suck at this thing, damn it! Hn. Sakura?

Sakura: ...

Sasuke: I just want you to marry me.. To make it official.. I want to spend the rest of my days with you.. I want to travel with you.. Start a little family with you.. Even sitting like this.. on a hard branch.. is bearable when I'm with you.. *hears sobbing* Sakura?

Sakura: *hugs him* I'll marry you, Sasuke-kun!

Sasuke: You're awake all this time?

Sakura: Baka! Did you really propose several times?

Sasuke: Yeah.. and failed.. Sakura, let me erase this one too.. I promise I'll plan—

Sakura: No! You might not repeat what you just said.. What you said to me was raw and what your heart truly feels.. I don't want any other kind of proposal. This is more than enough for me!

Sasuke: But Sakura..

Sakura: Sasuke-kun.. I love you more than life itself. Of course, I'll marry you!

Sasuke: *kisses her* Then Haruno Sakura, be my wife.

Sakura: Yes! *continued their kissing*

---

A year later..

#sasusaku #sasusaku headcanon #ss headcanon #uchihas #sscoded no 100

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sourbinnie · 1 year

Text

title -> closer genre -> surprise, it's angst! | one sided love pair -> ot8!skz x gn!reader plot -> a paragraph from letters you've never sent to stray kids. lowercase intended | no warnings

❥ ✉

'cause you're the holiday i celebrate too late

you're the eyes i gave up tryin' to captivate

how do you feel when you have a crush on someone? i always wanted to know what you thought about this. for me it's like i either live hooked on a feeling or give up completely when i'm disappointed by the results of it. i had the biggest crush on you since i've met you jisung and i don't think that's ever gonna change. it's easy to put it in a paper and not say it out loud like i prepared so many times. the thing is i don't want to be in a relationship, i completely gave up trying to be somewhere i don't belong in and that's your arms. what's not easy is the burning feeling in my chest every time i see you holding someone else, i just wish it was me one last time.

you're the song that i loved but then overplayed

and i'm the b-side throwaway

what's there to say? you're captivating with everything you do. every single step you take towards me i melt into a puddle trying to compose myself. i don't think i deserve you, you already know this because you heard me talk about it didn't you? as you pretended that you did not. i don't blame you for not having a crush on me, no one does. chris i think your talent is immeasurable but your ability to lie isn't and you know how much i love your music. the fact that i've been the first one to listen to some new releases still shocks me but i would gladly accept any offer to do so again unless you don't want me around you anymore which is understandable.

i hope you never rain on my charade

the lonely one i let myself create

i got my space, but what'd i pay?

i had a mental image of you that the more i look, the more i know, it gets closer to your reality. why do i say this? because i truly think perfection didn't exist until i found you felix. i know i drifted apart from you, i know i said i need space to figure things out with my feelings and our friendship. i don't wanna ruin us but i know i already did, in fact i know that you feel like you can be friends with me after my confession. i don't think i can be friends anymore lixie. crushes don't usually hurt but the one sided love truly does sometimes, and i don't want you to feel pity and say that you will "fall in love" with me when those things don't happen. i can't take any more lies.

i've been fucked so much that i no longer wait

i sabotage and break my own heart

just in case

god did my past experiences fuck me up. you know this more than anyone seungmin and i still let you hold me every night. i knew that things weren't gonna be easy when you said you wanted to be there for me through everything, i knew i was gonna fall for the person that first decided to listen to me and take care of me in such a beautiful and soft way. now here i am sitting, hoping that you read this and don't feel too bad about me leaving that night. i couldn't deal with the feelings again, the powerful love i felt for you was way too much for my heart to take and i needed to back away. i'm sorry, i will always be sorry minnie.

so, yeah, i loved you or i tried to

but i don't know how

i think i gave it my all when it came to you. but then i realized that it wasn't really worth it was it? you're never gonna feel the same way. i tried so hard, thinking that maybe one day you'll look at me and see more than a friend standing beside you. i can't say that i don't love you anymore, i still need time to process everything and to grow out of these feelings for you changbin so i understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore. hoping one day you see me in a new light was the most hopeless thing i've done. i feel so empty right now as i watch you on a screen again, of course i could never have you. i don't know what i was thinking in the first place.

used to need you and feel you

but we ran it all down

so i guess this is it? i don't even know what to say after what happened. i'm so tired of going around you like the only thing that matters in plain sight is you. but that doesn't mean my feelings will change, that doesn't mean that i'm done with you even if you're done with me. it means that i think it's time to step away before i end up more heartbroken than i already am hyunjin. i know you think this is easy but it's really not, i can't stop feeling the way i do in just a couple of days. i truly thought you were the one for the longest time and i still feel like i need you. i still feel like i want to be loved by you even if it's just me being delusional again.

'cause i loved you or i tried to

can it be easy now?

i never had any hope in the first place jeongin. i feel like i decided to give my heart and soul to someone who deserved it and not getting anything back would be just fine. it really wasn't, it's not your fault but it's not mine either right? even if i feel like an idiot thinking i had a chance with you. i truly hope you find happiness in someone like i did for a long time in you, you deserve to experience love in it's purest form. thank you for not giving up on me though, i don't know where i would've ended up if you just plainly rejected me but you didn't. you gave me another chance and even if i'm not gonna take it, i just wanted to say thank you.

or will it kill me on the evenin'

that I let you down?

i'm sorry i disappointed you. you weren't looking for someone and this is how i decide to show up in your life, another love interest opportunity? i'm surprised you don't hate me. minho i know that love is a hard thing to take and i'm not gonna insist or pursue you to change your mind. i'm just gonna let you know that someday, someone's gonna appear and you're not gonna feel this kind of hatred for love anymore. you're gonna feel blessed that person is gonna be by your side forever & ever. i know it's not me even if i wanted it to be, i let you down this time and it hurts but i gave it my all to be there for you and that's all i can say.

- love (y/n).

i need you closer

or i need it over

either need you closer

or i need it over, yeah

"hey (y/n)." my neighbor greeted me and i just waved but then i realized they were holding onto something, looked like letters. "these were piling up so i picked them up and they're all addressed to you so here you go!" she said and gave me a small smile.

"thank you and i'm sorry for the inconvenience." i said as i got them in my hands.

8 sealed letters all sent to me. i read the names: han jisung, bang christopher, lee felix, kim seungmin, seo changbin, hwang hyunjin, yang jeongin and finally lee minho. did they truly read my letters?

#skz drabbles #skz imagines #skz songfics #skz angst #skz x reader #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #skz scenarios #sourbinnie #skz #stray kids #stray kids angst #skz x y/n #skz x you #stray kids scenarios

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aingeal98 · 5 months

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hello hello! i saw your post and need your thoughts and verdict (hypothetically) for yhk in the last chapter. what would yjh and hsy do once kdj woke up, what if he never woke up and remains unreachable to them after all the effort?

thoughts on doksoo/ joongdok centric and which (poignant) scene makes a neuron lit up and go ah, them. and makes you go crazy, like, every single scene might as well an orpheus and eurydice-d, such as that "cancel your skill, kim dokja"

DHGFVJDFGV sorry you're just such a joy to read on the tags as you go through the story on tumblr since the yhk tags are most often then not, lifeless

Aaaaa thank you for this it's a fun ask! :D

Personally I believe Dokja woke up. Both because I want a happy ending for them and because I wouldn't put it past yoohan to track down and kill everyone who read orv and imagined a sad ending. But also I think him waking up is only the first step. There's no way things aren't complicated afterwards because Dokja will feel guilty for putting his friends through the trauma of losing him and his friends will try and convince him that he deserves love and they don't mind but at the same time the trauma is real and it's there. So it's going to be a long road to helping him forgive himself even if they all have done so already.

I feel like YJH would be pushy at first. Like this is the guy who became a terrorist rather than try therapy. He wants to find meaning through Dokja, to ask Dokja how he's supposed to live now, and that's a lot of pressure that none of the others will want to fall on Dokja's shoulders. Which I think will be good for HSY because it let's her fall into the comfortable zone of yelling at YJH for being terrible at expressing himself and ignoring her own terrible emotions as much as possible in the mean time. So I kind of see it like:

YJH & HSY: Screaming clawing kicking biting each other outside the hospital because HSY thinks YJH is being too pushy with Dokja and YJH thinks he's helping both of them by asking Dokja for guidance and HSY is getting in the way of his recovery.

Sangah, calmly pouring herself and Dokja tea inside his hospital room: So I spoke to your mother today and she'll be here soon! Oh don't worry about those two they'll probably only break a few bones.

But then if he never did wake up... I don't think either of them would be able to truly move on. I think they'd keep hoping that he would get better and the longer he doesn't the more the likelihood grows that one of them snaps and comes up with another reckless life threatening plan to increase the odds of his recovery. I'm not sure what it'd be but I like to think HSY is the one that snaps first this time. Just goes up to YJH like "hey are you ready for me to subject you to more horrendous torment for the slim tiny chance that it could make Dokja wake up" and YJH is like "naturally".

Whether they actually succeed or whether their plan is so terrible and hopeless that Sangah has to step in and force them to accept he's gone (an impossible task but she'll push them as close to the acceptance stage of grief as she possibly can.) I'm not sure. Either way it'd be fun to read about. I haven't looked into the side stories yet but I'm curious if they might make me change my mind about any of this. For now this is how I imagine it going down anyways.

Doksoo are insane and they consume my every waking thought. Reading the webtoon after the novel is so crazy because HSY really shows up as this random villain and no one including her has any idea that she's one of the three most important people in the universe. Like she's just a little fella. A prankster who's pranks sometimes involve murder. And the way she and Dokja are so unimpressed by each other and have no idea how much they'll end up loving each other... I feel like rereading any early doksoo interaction is going to come with extra loud clown music like even Dokja calling her a plagiarist and Sooyoung being like ugh you're such a cliche like oh you dumbasses. You have no idea.

I enjoyed both doksoo and joongdok's early banter a lot like it always added a ton of energy into every scene. But the moments it really clicked for me was the whole reincarnation island arc for doksoo. Like reading his narration about Sooyoung it's like ohhhh my god he's down bad. He's as in love as I am. He doesn't even realise it but he is so enamoured by her. Like that was the moment I could see the potential for them to become as important to each other as they did. The foundation and foreshadowing was done so well, not one bit of their relationship progression felt unearned.

And then for joongdok I think it was their divorce era that really got me on board. Like they were fun in the early stages but once Dokja is convinced there's no going back and is actually emotionally vulnerable and honest with YJH and YJH gets to vent his own frustrations about being nothing more than a character... It really solidified their bond for me. It brought Dokja down to YJH's level rather than the reader he was trying to be to YJH's character. Plus we get HSY dying and traumatising Dokja for once instead of the reverse. It's what they deserve.

Also punisher and transfem YJH and everything that's implied in the novel and how that would add to to her dynamics with doksoo. Haven't gotten any solid thoughts on that yet but the concept is slowly taking a grip on me.

So yeah after the reincarnation island arc I was so fully on board with this ot3 and every single Orpheus moment that followed hit right into my heart.

Sorry this is so long and barely scratches the surface alsjsjdhdh. I'm still processing everything but man. What a story. What a trio. Wretched mirror soulmates with toxic codependency my beloveds.

#orv #orv spoilers #orv rambles #yoohankim #yoo joonghyuk #han sooyoung #kim dokja #asks

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