#I'm only living here for a few weeks already but it feels like home real fast

[har-rison-s]

whatever you need | coryo snow x fem!reader

a/n: don't mind me, just eating pomelo and writing smut. i daydream about this piece every and all work day i have rn, it's pretty unhinged bcs i'm working as a gift wrapper for the holiday season and just staring ahead thinking of.... things. i'm technically an atheist, but i would need forgiveness for those thoughts. ANYWAY JEEZ. this took me like four days, help. i'm so insecure abt my smut writing, tho so ooohhh god am i actually dreading posting this. i'll just publish and run away from tumblr for a week. happy reading

talk to me about coryo here

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word count: 7.2k (sawrry)

themes: smut

warnings / disclaimers: smut, unprotected p in v, brief mutual masturbation, cum eating (SCREAMING), fingering, crying, ENJOY jsdfjhsadsd

gif credit goes to owner <3

something strange was happening in the arena. something was being done to the camera feeds that were supposed to livestream every second of what was happening in it. only because something seemed to have gone wrong in the games y/n was stuck to the television screen in her living room slash lounge. her parents were called into urgent work in district three a few hours ago, so it was only her and some of the maids in the house. they kept to themselves, though, and were probably asleep in their quarters at the mansion’s far-end wing. except for the main housekeeper, who was adamantly guarding the entrance of the house, in case anyone came by.

her parents were counting on someone coming by - with the way she was recently behaving at school and with the rebel bombs, they were real worried about her well-being. she was always alone at home, because there was no one to bring home. except the dean, but he came by himself and only to serve his usual scolding and threats about y/n’s rebellious nature and behaviour at school. her parents hadn’t felt such worry for their daughter as they felt now since the war days. 

what soothed her mother’s worried heart and mind was the presence of the maids and the housekeeper. y/n appreciated their staying around and liked hearing noises made by someone else in the mansion, even if it was only a far-away creak of floorboards or a door closing. but she didn’t need anything from them, ever, she’d been very independent since her early childhood, and maids seemed like such an excess right now, an even backwards concept for y/n. her family employing them, unable to live without them, made her feel like the rich princess everyone deemed her being. 

y/n had felt fine being home alone until the feed from the arena turned strange. darker, blacker, and the audio seemed warped or otherwise manipulated. she’d caught sight of a familiar figure entering the arena – who was that? how did he get inside? who can tell... – and then the feed changed. there was nothing much she could see, but her eyes had been glued to the screen of her television for the past half hour, anyway. all the while she was straining her eyes to try to see who it was, and at some point that figure was joined by another by Sejanus’ tribute Marcus’ bruised and wounded body, and then the feed darkened nearly completely. 

she sat in her sofa in an embryo pose, blanket over her stressed form, covering her back and the bare feet and legs that the knitted bedtime jumper couldn’t. she realized the gamemakers or the Capitol were trying to hide something, nothing else could explain the feed changing and audio going wobbly and earning static in the process. 

the bell ringing at the front door startled her so bad that y/n gasped and jerked in her position on the sofa. her head whipped in its direction and she watched two figures entering her family’s mansion from the far end of the hallway. she could already tell who the two were, but she remained sat on the sofa, her legs unmoving out of anxiety. she shut off the television and just watched them walk towards her through the unlit hallway, arms wrapping around her knees underneath her beloved blanket.

“ms y/l/n, a mister Snow is here, for you,” the housekeeper announced as she and Coriolanus entered the living room, Coriolanus stumbling into the room more than walking into it. he looked like he was falling to pieces. his breath was heavy, hair and academy uniform in disarray, face just... bewildered. y/n nodded at her housekeeper, extended her arms towards Coryo like a child reaching for its favourite toy and sniffled quietly.

“thank you, Nora,” she told the housekeeper, “please leave us. you can go to bed, i won’t need anything else for the night.” she said in a hushed voice and the housekeeper nodded, knowing to listen to the child of her employers. y/n hated giving anyone orders, much less this spectacular lady, but she did want to be alone with Coryo. and by the look of him, she could tell he couldn’t be around anyone else but her. he was a man of privacy, after all.

as soon as Nora shut the door behind her and left for the maids’ quarters, Coryo accepted the plea in y/n’s extended arms and stumbled over to her on the sofa. “i—i’m sorry,” he said the first words out of breath, in a voice so broken and frail that y/n’s lips twitched downwards and she felt the need to cry, “i didn’t know where else to go, i couldn’t... i couldn’t f-face anyone else...” as he sat down before y/n’s bare feet peeking out from the blanket, she noticed in the poor lighting of the room that his clothes were dirty. there were cuts in his shirt, dirt, gravel, sand... blood. 

“what happened?” her voice wouldn’t go any louder than a whisper, and her lips were turning into a pout as she looked Coryo over, her meek hands reaching out for him but unsure whether she should touch him or not. he could fall apart like the frailest glass, it seemed, if anything touched him right now. his face was bruised. there were small cuts on his cheek, blood on his chin. she noticed how they had already been taken care of.

Coryo still took heavy breaths, but finally he felt like his vision was real and not fooling him, and he took in his surroundings. the dim lighting in the posh room, y/n’s bare feet touching his red academy pant leg, her legs pulled up to her chest under a cute throw-blanket in the pastel colour of chocolate milk, her small hands reaching out to him, unsure, unsteady. he lifted his head to look at her, and the expression on her face made his heart lurch in his chest. her glassy eyes – no doubt matching his –, the pout on her lips, her rosy cheeks, eyebrows scrunched in worry and confusion. he could never decline that face. “dr Gaul sent me inside the arena to get Sejanus out,” he finally said, and he spoke in a whisper tone that could only be meant for secrets, “but the tributes heard us... i’m not sure i should even be telling you about this at all,” he admitted.

y/n shook her head. “your secret’s safe with me,” she assured with a gentle nod.

“yes, but dr Gaul—” Coryo began, but she interrupted him in the voice of a faint whisper. 

“i know how terrifying she is,” y/n persisted, “she won’t know that i know.” she said even quieter and looked, really looked, into Coryo’s eyes, and nodded gently again at him. he searched her eyes for a few seconds, weighing the risk of her knowing this, trying to decide if he should tell her more or just cut short here. but really. she’s a loose end and she knows it. it’s not like dr Gaul was in high thoughts of y/n or deemed her more valuable than any other student, and her nature played a big part in that opinion of the young girl. how would she know that y/n found out about this night in the arena? she wouldn’t. it would never come up in conversation. y/n wasn’t part of this.

“the tributes heard us,” Coryo started to say as he sat closer to y/n, his body turned to face her, and almost loomed over her. he’s always been much taller than her, and sometimes that played a part in their dynamic. he took her hands in his above her bent knees and the blanket. he licked his lips and y/n searched his eyes, his... stoic blue eyes. there was a change in them, “they came after us and i...” he shook his head, “i didn’t want to hurt him,” Coryo’s voice broke and his head dropped onto y/n’s covered knees. 

she heard a sob from him, and it shook her entire form, making her gasp quietly. she’d never seen him cry before. the night on the rooftop, in the garden, she knew he was close to it, but she knew he’d never let his pride down so much that he’d let anyone see him cry. and Coryo didn’t feel so good about crying now, about opening himself up to her like this, he felt disgusted with himself. but he also couldn’t stop. and he couldn’t hide everything from her, after all. 

y/n shuffled around until her legs were tucked under herself and she moved closer to Coryo, taking his scarred cheeks between her small hands and lifting his face up so he would see her. she knew she made him nervous usually, but she calculated that that effect flipped around on itself when he was in this state, or one similar to this. breaking apart. feeling vulnerable. beaten down. she looked into his eyes and he back into hers, not really having any other choice. she had this compelling power over him, even if he didn’t want to admit it, and he didn’t want to hide from her. not really.

his breathing slowed down as he just looked into her wondering beautiful orbs, full of so much determination, courage and kindness. she was almost smiling at him, even though she wanted to cry, too, and her eyes were glassy with produced tears, but she wanted to appear strong for him. because right now he really needed a strong anchor to hold onto, he was the one in need of support. y/n took that role mainly in their friendship-relationship, especially at school, when she got herself in trouble, or at home, when her parents were giving her an earful about her irresponsibility and all the jazz they usually gave her an earful about.

last time Coryo and y/n saw each other, she realized he had the ability to ground her. and now she realized she had the ability to ground him, because by looking into his eyes she could see his emotions and mood changing by the second. and all because she’s holding him, and he’s looking into her eyes. he didn’t need much more than that. 

and yet maybe he did. he didn’t know which part of him had the urge, but all of him acted on it by ducking forward and kissing her on the lips. he could taste the sweat she had made on her lips out of stress, and the blueberry tartlet she must have had as a late snack not too long ago. and his hands couldn’t keep away anymore, either, they were taking hold of her face like hers was holding his cheeks between them. y/n would have gasped at his sudden action if she had any air to breathe, and she sighed heavily when he did give her a split second of air after fiery kisses to her delicious lips. 

he kept his eyes on her as he pulled his academy blazer off and threw it to the ground beside the couch, then came back closer to her, one hand on her cheek and the other pulling the adorable blanket off her legs. y/n placed a palm on that hand of his, which made Coryo furrow his eyebrows and look at her with puzzled eyes. didn’t she want this, too? she gulped, eyes averted from his shyly. “i’d rather we talked about it, Coryo,” she admitted and looked back at him carefully, eyes so un-knowing and yet more clever than most people’s. Coryo tilted his head slightly at her words. 

his hands took the bull by its horns, pulling the blanket fully away and welcoming the night air of the mansion upon y/n’s bare legs, making her gasp again. Coryo used the moment of surprise to his advantage and pushed her down on the sofa, sneaking in between her legs like the slippery mastermind he was, and he slid a hand under her knitted jumper, raising goose-bumps in his wake across her stomach and waist. y/n hated that she felt aroused, meaning she felt exactly how he wanted her to, was right where he wanted her, but she couldn’t exactly pull away. she hated being at someone’s mercy, but.... it was Coryo.

she surprised him when he found she wasn’t wearing a bra under her jumper, nothing was standing between his greedy hands and her naked breasts now, though her not wearing a bra at home wasn’t exactly a surprise. it’s just that his inexperienced self was shocked to find a part of her naked, and right there, at his disposal. watching her face, he placed his palm over one of her breasts and ran his thumb over her nipple, which hardened immediately under his touch. and her face, oh, the expression on it was to die for. eyes softly shut, eyebrows gently spasming as she was feeling something very new to her, her teeth biting her lower lip, cheeks turning more red and no doubt burning up. Coryo placed a kiss on her bare stomach, just above the elastic of her underwear, and watched her still as she whimpered for the first time. her thighs fidgeted around him, feet unsurely digging into the soft cushions of her couch—she really didn’t know what to do with herself and these sensations she was experiencing. 

“i’d rather we didn’t,” he said to her finally, though his actions were more than enough of a response to what she said, but she hardly heard him now. there was a gentle static in her ears, and heat all over her writhing form. her pure, supple, untouched form. all for him to touch, to explore. Coryo took his shirt off in a hurry, as if y/n might disappear if he had his hands off her for a second longer, and returned to her half-naked body a hungrier man. hands raking the insides of her thighs, he kissed her again, hot lips making their conversation just moments ago seem like the far past, making her almost forget it happened. y/n could hardly feel her legs, though she knew this was just the beginning, and she wrapped her arms around Coryo’s frame and held onto him as he moved his slender torso against her chest. she could feel the bones of his hips jutting against her own, his growing crotch pressing against her panty-covered soaking cunt, teasing her, making her pant heavily and whimper like a kitten. 

having her like this satiated the hunger that rose from the deep hole he’d created inside himself, gnawing at him like a big black hole with eager, starving claws. every stroke of his hips against hers beat the monster down but dangled the bait in front of it at the same time, leaving him in quite the paradox. this was more than enough, yet Coryo knew he could go further with y/n, further than enough, and that she’d let him. everything in him wanted to, and he couldn’t stop himself. adrenaline was pumping blood from his heart into his veins, she was available and the only one who could help with the hole growing inside him. 

but y/n couldn’t go further without another word spoken. he was avoiding her question, he was avoiding the whole last hour of this night. “Coryo,” she whispered softly as his lips kissed at her neck, tongue sweeping over a particularly bruised-with-kisses spot on her sculpture-like skin, he was an animal let loose. and his affections almost made her forget what she wanted to ask, and she thought maybe she doesn’t really want to know. but y/n sighed, trying to clear her mind, “tell me what happened,” she plead in a quiet voice and it made Coryo raise his head and look into her eyes again. 

he framed the side of her face with only a hand, his thumb on her chin and the rest of his palm splayed across her burning cheek. he loved seeing the look of lust and confusion on her face, in her eyes most of all. the pads of his fingertips softly pushed into her skin. “no,” he remained stubborn, and y/n would have been surprised to have him do otherwise. she gulped softly, hoping he wouldn’t feel it, but no, he felt every motion any part of her made now. his mind came up with a new idea as he slid a hand of his across her stomach, making a wave across her supple body, and then he reached her underwear. he knew, like everyone else did sort of matter-of-factly, that women were to be touched there. he knew it was the spot in her with which he could get her full attention. and he also knew he’d have to fabricate having experience in this field for y/n. he didn’t want her to think him inexperienced, which he was exactly, or least of all that he’s experimenting with her—which was also what he was doing. so he improvised by cupping her warmest place in the body, and he felt an immediate reaction. her thighs fidgeted around his waist again and her stomach lurched. her eyes shut, but he wanted to see them, “open your eyes,” Coryo urged her, and y/n had to force herself to comply, her beautiful eyes looking into his again. they held eye contact as he ran his middle finger in a straight line between her clothed folds, and he watched as her face contorted, caused by the new strange and pleasant feelings. she felt like warm honey on his fingers, “right now all i need is to feel you,” he told her and did the same motion with his finger again, only this time slower, making it pleasurably agonizing for her, coaxing quiet whimpers from her lips, “and this tells me you need it, too.” 

god, she hated that he was right. at first it was want, she wanted him to stay over, to touch her, to feel her, to do things to her that no one else had ever before. now, she felt so desperate for it that she felt she could explode if she didn’t get what seemed to be promised to her. the want grew to need. she wanted to shake her head, wanted to push him off—that would really be characteristic to her. but instead she brought herself to really look into his eyes and nod in response. Coryo’s lips almost made a smile or a grin, almost, she caught the ghost of it in the corner of his lips before he kissed her again. “alright, Coryo,” she whispered against his lips, “but if you don’t touch me properly right now, i willkick you out of my home.” she said surely, admitting to her desperation without shame and in turn – with pride, and now Coryo grinned. her feistiness was one of the things he liked about her, and it coming out in this setting was more than he could have asked for. in a weird way it got him going. 

y/n placed both of her hands on the sides of his face and kept him close to her as he reached his hand into her underwear, breaching into unexplored territory. she was all the warmer for him, and soaking wet. he hummed, their lips nearly touching, but not completely. it was torture for him. he wanted to devour her lips, her whole face, her whole existence. her lips were like the food of life for him, the sounds she made music to his ears and air in his lungs. “you’re just perfect for me,” he confessed to her in a shudder and y/n smiled lightly. his fingers ran through her naked warm folds, just testing the waters, until they found the opening between them, where the wetness and warmth were seeping from. Coryo would have dropped his head onto her shoulder if her hands weren’t holding it up right, but he just felt like he lost his damn mind at how incredible her walls felt around his fingers, and he could collapse right there on top of her. 

“Coryo,” she sang his nickname in a beautiful moan when two fingers prodded inside her, beating any expectations she had about this beforehand. they were long and thick, touching every inch of her, it felt like, and reaching just far enough. she was barely holding onto him, and her body was reacting to his touches immediately. hips moving, back arching, thighs squeezing his body between them, breaths shuddering. 

“no one’s done this to you before, have they?” Coryo asked, but he hardly needed an answer. by the way she was reacting, he could tell that she’d never felt like this before. y/n shaking her head at his question was merely the last dot on the confirmation, yet it still made him more aroused. knowing he was the first one to do this to her, with her. he grazed her upper wall with his finger pads, being careful not to let his nails scrape her, and it brought a moan from her that he’d never heard anyone make. guttural, coming from the very depths of her lungs, her vocal cords, from her very core. it made him shudder. he repeated the motion, slower one time, then faster the next, all the while watching her reaction. he loved seeing her eyes shut, her cheeks become redder, her lips parting, stretching, pushing breaths and whimpers out from between them. Coryo felt one of her hands sliding up into his hair, and he groaned. her hips bucked and she grabbed onto his perfect curls between her fingers when he reached farther inside her with his two fingers, and it made them both moan into each other’s mouths, y/n letting his lips rest over hers. he’d reached that great point inside her, feeling her hot and spongy against his digits. it’s almost like she was sucking him in. “you’re so good for me,” Coryo told her and y/n whimpered at the praise. 

“more, please,” she begged with no shame and Coryo obliged, picking up the pace of his fingers and massaging over her folds with his thumb all the while. when he accidentally grazed over her clit, y/n made a high-pitched moan of the utmost sensitivity, and he knew he’d done the right thing. and by accident, no less. he was on the winning team, “Coryo,” she cried with her eyes shut and he noticed a tear on her cheek, kissing over it immediately. next his lips were on hers again, lapping at her tongue with his own like the starving man he was, knowing nothing of tomorrow or the next hour, just so engulfed in her that he knew nothing else. she was the perfect getaway.

he could feel her body behaving in a different way, thighs trembling around him, walls squeezing his hand in, hands nearly powerless, chest shuddering. she wasn’t far off her release, he guessed. with another press to the sensitive bundle of nerves that made her cry, Coryo once again watched her reaction in amazement. but he didn’t want to feel her release like this, he needed them both different. Coryo pulled his fingers away, once again making y/n cry out, this time in the most desperation she could manage, and she looked up at him with pleading, tearful eyes. he offered her a gentle smile and moved down her body, dragging her underwear with him. down her legs and away, the light pink garment went, and y/n bit her plump lip in anticipation as she watched him. 

Coryo tucked her underwear into the trousers of his academy uniform that he was still wearing and returned to her body, laying kisses across her thighs on his way up to her. y/n squirmed under and around him, mewled, muttering his name in a mewl here and there, relishing in the feeling of his lips on her untouched skin and his hands roaming all over her body, under her jumper, over it, trying to cover every inch of her. she hated that he had stopped touching her right when she was closest to that one sacred edge she wanted so badly to reach, he was teasing her, taunting her, testing her waters. it was clear to her that he had never done this to another girl before. Coryo was just like her, and yet he’d put up a different façade. 

he dug his fingers into the flesh of her naked hips, which made y/n throw her head back into the sofa cushions, baring her delicious-looking neck to Coryo. he used that to his advantage, licking and kissing at the skin of her neck which he had already bruised marked with his lips just moments ago, he was devouring her with a hunger only she could really satiate, and yet he couldn’t get enough of her. his growing crotch pressed against her bare cunt, and y/n gasped at the feeling. eyebrows scrunched, cheeks and lips red and puffy, she looked up at Coryo again, and he returned the gesture. he took one of her hands in his and guided it down to between them, where he was growing harder and in size, it seemed, watching her face all the while and taking notice of her biting down on her lower lip in anticipation. Coryo made her feel him through his trousers, and he couldn’t hide the effect her touch had on him - shuddering throughout his whole body, eyelids fluttering, he was barely able to utter the next words, but he did so in a quiet voice. “feel what you do to me?” 

y/n nodded with lustful eyes, hungry like the wolf for the boy above her. her boldness came back and with it y/n unzipped Coryo’s custom-made trousers and reached into his boxers to really feel him. he had girth and he was solid, she could feel that all with her hand on him. she was making him a panting mess, giving his length a sure stroke, Coryo’s head falling into the crook of her neck and him moaning, though she knew the piece of his pride that died for him to do that. he hardly let anyone see his inner world, his true feelings, so for him to be this vulnerable with her took a great deal of courage. “do i make you... feel like this often?” y/n asked quietly, and Coryo nodded with a whimper as her finger flicked over his tip, pink and sensitive. y/n wrapped her fingers around his shaft and stroked up and down, slowly, looking at his face all the while, wishing she could see his beautiful eyes now, see the emotions swimming around in the blue of them.

Coryo fisted the pillow right beside her, heavy breaths leaving his parted lips, “yes, yes, yes, god, yes,” he chanted in her ear as the pace of her strokes grew faster, and y/n could feel each breaths in his lungs against her own, his chest rising and hitting against her so intensely. she’d made him crumble beneath her so quickly, it surprised her, “i need you, y/n, i need to feel you,” Coryo confessed and managed the strength to raise his head and look at her again. he was too afraid to utter the phrase i need to be inside you, feeling just too shy all of a sudden to say that. the look on his face was pure desperation, he looked like he could start crying the next moment, and y/n’s heart lurched in her chest at seeing that. seeing and recognising that she could make him as desperate as he’d made her. that she could make him small, “no one’s ever made me feel like this before,” he confessed more, breaking his own façade down, and y/n smiled at him sheepishly. she knew, of course, that what he said was true. she knew everything about him.

“you have me,” she assured him and brought him out of the confine of his boxers, making Coryo breathe in relief. he had felt so restricted in his own clothes, “but god, Coryo, will you fit? you feel too big in my hand,” y/n said shyly and bit down on her lip again, a habit that Coryo had noticed her having for quite a while now, and he looked down between them two. y/n knew her comment went straight to his growing ego, but she just couldn’t resist teasing him a little. and when he caught onto it, he looked at her again, with a smile on his lips this time. she grinned wide and giggled before she took his face in her hands and kissed his lips, as if it was her first time doing so. simple, loving, affectionate. 

suddenly she fully took in the look of his naked torso, his amazingly sculpted shoulders and arms, his pearly chest... the sight of him was so breath-taking and delicious that she nearly forgot all her other surroundings. Coryo, though the look her eyes were giving him flattered him so, took the bull by its horns again and pushed the very tip of his hard length through her folds, where her warm opening welcomed him. y/n felt a strain while Coryo felt the beginning of a true release, but he noticed her awkward expression, felt her hold on his face falter, and he paused his movements to just check in. 

“alright?” he asked quietly, as he couldn’t tell what to do next by her face, “too big for you?” he teased and it made them both smile, then erupt into mad giggles in unison. y/n would never have expected Coryo to have humour in a moment like this, but she was relieved that he did, and god did it make the whole thing easier. she wasn’t worried, wasn’t anxious anymore, wasn’t feeling insecure about any aspect of herself anymore. except the thing she’d heard that happened to most women on their first time – the bleeding, the pain, his reaction to it. those were the few things she wanted to avoid happening. but if Coryo was his sweetheart-self, then she had no bad reaction to worry about. she was glad he was the person she was doing it for the first time with, she’d really lucked out.

“just a little,” she finally answered after their giggle fit while holding each other in their arms, “try going deeper,” she urged in a hushed voice, and Coryo complied, adjusting his hips forward, slowly, not to accidentally hurt her more. he couldn’t deny how incredible this felt, how incredible she felt around him, her walls sucking him right in so tightly, “ohmygodohmygod,” y/n pushed the words out in a quick breath, feeling a burn and stretch inside of her at the size of him. she didn’t have anyone to compare Coryo to, and no one else had been inside her before, but he felt big enough. 

Coryo appreciated her arm on his back, her nails digging half-moons into his pearly skin, and her other hand splayed across his cheek, thumb almost digging a hole in his cheek. “you feel so perfect around me,” Coryo praised against her parted lips, and y/n could only look at him with strain and tears in her eyes as he inched himself further and further inside, her face changing by every inch, it seemed, until he had bottomed out with a groan and she’d only felt a momentary sting of pain. and the worst part was over—what a miracle it was that it had been so quick for her, she’d expected otherwise. Coryo could see the immediate relaxation on her features, and he smiled. 

he kissed away her fallen tears, but more kept falling from her eyes and y/n could only explain them as being happy tears, though she scolded herself for being so emotional in a meaningful moment like this. but maybe it was just right. Coryo smiled at her and she could see his orbs being glossy, too, and she was glad. it was no wonder, really, taking how shaken he was when he came into her home and sat down on her couch beside her. he was still in turmoil, but that didn’t matter now. he had her. 

“can i try... moving? you feel alright?” he asked her in a whisper. this slow thrust inside her had already felt like heaven, he couldn’t wait to repeat it over and over and over. 

y/n nodded, “yeah, go ahead,” she said and Coryo complied. she took in the feeling of him pulling out gently, slowly... teasingly. he was grinning, she saw, and she shook her head in disbelief as a beautiful smile adorned her features. and then he thrust inside her again, stuffing her walls with his great length, making her back arch and moans that she’s never made before escape her lips. he could hardly concentrate, but he didn’t want to miss all the different facial expressions she would make, the look in her eyes, while he made love to her now. he made himself keep his eyes open as he began to move rhythmically now. 

y/n’s legs wrapped around his waist, engulfing him in her more and more, and each of his thrusts earned him a squeak from her from the movements. god, he just adored her beyond measure. she was everything he needed now, and later, and forever. Coryo kissed her neck, licked at it, as he had before, and it only made her moan more, each moan in its own unique high or low pitch, and dig her fingers into whichever part of his skin she was holding. Coryo adored her touches, they turned him on, and he wanted her hands on him always, they were a lifeline. his hands gripped her waist, her sweater bunched just above them, only covering her arms and her breasts, though barely even those from how much Coryo was moving her.

“you're doing so good for me,” he breathed into her ear, and the praise only spurred her on. she clenched around him, and it made Coryo break his focus completely, his head dropping onto y/n’s chest, where he breathed hot air onto her skin, “i’m sorry, i think i’m close,” he confessed, and y/n raised his face with her hands, looking at him with puzzlement across her face. 

“me too, it’s okay,” she assured him and then took one of his hands in hers and lead it down to where their bodies met. she laid his palm over the bulge that had formed in her lower stomach from him. the sight and feel of it made Coryo groan, getting him all the more closer to his release. 

“fuck, that’s amazing,” he said into her neck, and y/n nodded.

“you’re so big, Coryo,” she complimented him again and felt his dick twitch inside her at the words, “made a bump in me,” she put it into words and it made the boy nearly lose his mind. then she guided his hand just a little lower and pressed his hand onto her clit, where he recalled was her most vulnerable point, “come on, touch me. we’ll do it together,” she urged him on in the sweetest of angel voices and Coryo didn’t need to think twice before complying. he loved her ordering him around a little, it was much needed tonight especially. 

he pressed his thumb against her clit as his hips had nearly reached their fastest pace, and watched as her face twisted in pleasure. eyes shutting, lips spasming, closing, opening, teeth biting, voice singing out to him. “oh, Coryo,” she called his name and he felt it go straight to his heart. there wasn’t much more that he needed in order to come now, and he prided in himself for lasting so long at all, all the while feeling a little ashamed about it. he wanted this to last longer. but since he could tell she was coming, too, his thumb drawing harsh circles on her clit to bring it on, he revelled in them both finishing at once. 

“fuuuck, y/n, i love you,” he whimpered into her ear as he spilled himself inside her tightly-squeezing walls while y/n all but chanted his nickname like a mantra. her hands almost drew blood on his back from how tightly she held onto him, and she shuddered around him at the feeling of her own release coating his entire length. her thighs trembled and she panted heavy breaths against his neck. she’d almost missed his quiet confession, she’d actually heard it amidst their joined euphoria, but she had thought it a hallucination. 

but that assumption dissipated as she came to and looked up at Coryo, whose eyes were worriedly, with tears streaming from them, looking down at her. she quickly moved her hands to his cheeks and tried to sit up in their awkward position. best she could do was position herself higher on her pillow against the sofa’s armrest, and she gulped. “you love me?” she echoed in the smallest of voices, searching his eyes. they were worried, fearful. what if he’d said the wrong thing? what if she felt different about him, different than what he felt about her? what if he’d said it too soon? what if he’d just ruined all this with her? 

but he did love her. he was sure of it. so he nodded, his curls bouncing with the confirming movement. y/n ran her hand over them and smiled wide at him. 

“you love me,” she said again, surely this time, in a happy tone of voice. as if she’d discovered the best, most well-wishing secret in the whole world. and perhaps that’s what it was. her favourite secret about Coryo was that she knew he loved her, “i love you, too,” y/n told him before he could assume otherwise, and kissed his trembling lips. Coryo felt on top of the world. he had said the right thing, he’d played his cards right, he’d told her how he felt. of course, his actions spoke volumes, but hearing him say it in words meant the world to y/n. 

“thank god, you had me worried there for a bit,��� Coryo half-joked between their kisses, and it made her laugh. she pulled back from his lips and admired the boy above her. forehead glistening from sweat in the dim lighting, curls messily falling over his beautiful face, his pearly chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took. 

“who would i be without a little suspense, huh?” she asked and smiled at him again. she could see complete love and devotion in his eyes, two things she’d seen on his face only partly or half-meant before, and only towards herself. Coryo used the moment of silence to pull out of her and stuff himself back into his trousers. sitting against the sofa cushions to do it, he glanced at her cunt and saw it leaking with his white substance. y/n looked at him with sultry eyes and her teeth biting her lower lip, arms crossed over her chest, and she spread her legs just a little further to tease him with a wider look, “like what you see?” she asked quietly.

he just gave her eyes of total surrender, he was waving the white flag for giving up and he took a deep breath. y/n giggled as Coryo shook his head in disbelief and lowered his face down to her center, once again giving her anticipation. “you look so pretty,” he complimented and ran a finger through her folds, making her shudder as more of the snow-white liquid pooled out and coated her cunt, “pretty with me dripping out of you,” Coryo sneaked a glance up at her and saw the clear-as-day lust in her eyes. feeling that animalistic urge take over him again, he brought out his tongue and lapped up each drop coming out of her. y/n felt sensitive, sore, and Coryo was giving her a mix of both pleasure and pain as he drank at her. she had him right where she wanted him. the question was – would he stay there? 

his tongue prodded at her entrance just a tad, heightening her sensitivity, and he moaned against her folds at her shudder under him, giving her folds a kiss over once he was done. he wanted to leave most of his spill inside her, only having lapped up and gulped down what was excess. sitting up before her, between her legs, Coryo licked his lips and leaned over her form. y/n pulled him in for a kiss, and could taste something salty and something sweet all at once on his lips and tongue. it was both of them. 

“will you please stay?” y/n asked her in her small voice again, looking into Coryo’s eyes. she hoped to not find any resistance or decline, and her hopes were fulfilled. “please,” she plead more as he teased her with his silence. he nodded, and it made her smile wider than ever. he would stay over, like he promised her he would someday. it meant he didn't view her only as a secret anymore. maybe they could even go to Heavensbee hall tomorrow together, maybe hand in hand... “why did you say sorry? about being close?” she reminded him of the few moments before their euphorias. Coryo bent his head low for a moment. 

“just felt embarrassed,” he answered, “about not lasting long. i just... i just wanted this to last longer for you,” he told her and managed to look at her again. y/n made a comforting face and stroked the side of his face. she understood. 

“yeah, but it’s okay,” she assured him, “there will be other times,” she pointed out and laid a kiss to his cheek, “it was your first time, so please don’t worry your beautiful head over it.” Coryo managed a ghost of a smile just for y/n to kiss him and make his smile more life-like. “you did good, Coryo.” those words of praise went straight to his dick again, and he blushed. she had made him blush. y/n giggled. 

“you did great, too,” Coryo told her and kissed her hair, “thank you. i never would have wanted to do this with anyone else but you,” he confessed as they held tight eye contact. y/n’s heart surged at his words. 

“me too. i’m glad it was you,” she said and it made Coryo smile with shut lips, “now, can i get my underwear back?” she’d made a joke again, and Coryo felt like playing along further. 

“no, i’m keeping it,” he said in a hushed voice, shaking his head and y/n made a playful pout. she’d want to make him think he could keep it and that she’d steal it back later, but she couldn’t. Coryo having her underwear in the pocket of his academy trousers made her feel somehow proud. a piece of her with him wherever he goes. and if he went home and stashed them somewhere in his wardrobe cabinet, that would be fine, too. she loved knowing her underwear was a token for him. 

she only said, “alright,” and took his hand in hers, “let’s go shower and then to bed. you’ve exhausted me.” she admitted and Coryo took it as a compliment. he wanted this treacherous-turned-great day to end, too, and she was the cherry on top of it all. he wouldn’t have gone home tonight for anything. 

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[makeyoumine69]

Call Me Babydoll 5

PAIRING: DBF!Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Patrick stays in your mind even after the disastrous Dorsia incident. Like a song you can't get out of your head, he continues to hum his sultry and sensual words and ways into your ears and heart. When he arrives unexpectedly with a surprise guest, he cannot deny that he is attracted to you. But is this even real?

CONTAINS: Angst, smut, masturbation (f), obsessive behavior, cursing and use of pet names, smoking, gaslighting & manipulation, humiliation & hyperfixation, Daddy kink, making out, marking, biting.

WORDS: 3.5k

A/N: Sorry to make you wait so long, I hope to get in shape soon and post more often!🥰

LINKS: [Ch.4]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [MASTERLIST]

Your mind was a complete mess, your heart nothing but glass dust. The echoes of your private conversation with Patrick on the outdoor terrace of Dorsia still lingered in your mind even after you returned home, though you couldn't remember how you made it since you had declined Bateman's offer to take you to your house.

The first thing you noticed when you crossed the threshold of your home was a strong, sweet scent of flowers. It was a familiar perfume that you already hated.

"Y/n? I thought you were already asleep in your room," and there she was - your father's girlfriend named Sophia, meeting you in the hall, smiling mischievously as she caught you doing something criminal. "Where have you been?"

Sophia was a middle-aged woman with Greek roots, she was really a nice person, always so kind and friendly to you, and most importantly - she never tried to replace your mother, for which you were very grateful. 

"I had dinner," you replied tiredly as you took off your coat. "Not a good one."

"Ouch…" She gave you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before continuing. "Don't be sad, honey. You're an incredible person and I'm sure that one day you'll meet the right person." Sophia cheered this, smiling as if her words were a prediction of the future. "With whom you will feel that everything is in the right place."

Sighing, you tried to master something close to a smile. "Thank you, Soph." As much as you wanted to share your worries with her, you couldn't because she could tell your father everything. "I'm so exhausted I could fall asleep right here."

"Go rest," she mused, watching you go upstairs. "Tomorrow your father and I are going to visit my family."

"Good luck with that." You replied before disappearing from her vision.

It was obvious that you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, thanks to the endless thoughts that looped in your head like a broken record.

Why did you ever think that a man like Bateman could really take you seriously? You felt deceived, embarrassed and madly frustrated, because at the end of the day, Patrick was just playing with you like a toy, twisting you perfectly around his finger. 

Fidgeting in your bed, you accidentally recalled the memories of the day he was here - you could still feel the remnants of his hypnotizing cologne as your sheets smelled of him. A lonely tear slid down your cheek, outlining the beautiful shape of your face - now so dull and dejected. 

If only you could rewind time and not allow him to get close to you, not even for an inch. Sobbing, you curled up like a kitten, pressed your knees to your chest and tried to drift off, but every time you closed your eyes - his gorgeous face popped up in your mind, making you believe that he really had blessed you with a curse. A curse to be obsessed with the man who would never be yours.

It had been a week since you had seen Bateman, and somehow you had even managed to live through your depression and hide it from your father, although it was quite difficult due to his numerous questions about your sad face and bad mood. At work, some of your co-workers were also trying to figure out what was wrong with you, so you finally decided to take a few days off to relax and get your life back on track.

In the morning of one of those days, you suddenly found yourself writhing on the sheets, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. With an irritated groan, you threw the blanket aside, accidentally touching your painfully hard nipples. 

Oh shit, not again.

Closing your eyes, you didn't even notice that you were dreaming about him for the third fucking time in a row. You let out a muffled gasp as your trembling hand snaked down your belly between your half-opened legs to the center of your desire.

It was just impossible to resist.

"Aww, Daddy," you moaned softly, imagining it was his hand caressing your taut folds. "Please...I need more..."

Embarrassed but absolutely horny, you spread your legs wider, letting your own digits slide along your dripping pussy, and kept picturing his beautiful face as he praised you for being such a good girl for him. 

A loud gasp echoed through your room at the memory of his velvety, deep voice, playing in your head as if Bateman was really here, next to you, his hand wrapped tightly around your trembling throat as he wanted nothing more than to bring you to your climax, to see you collapse right before his dark hazel eyes.

"Mmhm, Patrick..." you frowned and shivered, your ministrations growing more impatient as you rubbed circling motions into your throbbing clit while feeling the impending orgasm building in your core. "Patrick, Patrick, please!"

To muffle your obscene moans, you had to bite the pillow next to you as you reached your climax, never stopping to massage your feverish nub. 

'You are so naughty, Babydoll. Look at the mess you have made.'

The echo of his sexy voice resounded in your clouded mind, prolonging your intense orgasm and you couldn't help but cradle your breast, only to pinch your hard little tip as you craved more. 

But unfortunately, after the haze of ecstasy wore off and you were finally able to think clearly, the bitter realization that it was all an illusion washed over you like a tidal wave, leaving you completely broken. It felt as if you had put all your energy into getting that high, and now you could barely move, feeling satisfied yet devastated.

Over the next few hours, you showered several times and refused to leave your room, no matter how much your father and Sophia tried to convince you. Shame and despair were eating you alive from the inside out, draining all your positive emotions like parasites.

Whenever you tried to distract yourself by reading, you were annoyed by your mind tricks because every character's name starting with the letter P automatically became 'Patrick'. 

You hated that man for infesting your mind, body, and soul. Before meeting Bateman, you even thought you were frigid, but now...now you were ready to climb on the walls from the consuming desire to be...possessed? Owned? Marked? 

A loud knock at the door interrupted your train of thought and you barely stopped yourself from squeaking - all these days, since you started having nasty dreams with Patirck, you felt like you were doing something bad and someone from your household could catch you. Quickly you approached the door to your room and after unlocking it, you let your vision - which turned out to be your father - in. 

"I thought you were taking a nap," he chuckled, but then his face changed when he saw your tired eyes. "Are you sure you're not sick, (y/n)?"

"I'm not sick, Dad," you rolled your eyes and crossed your hands over your chest, ready to be lectured again. "Did something happen? I was in the middle of proofreading."

Your father hummed, tilting his head to the side. "You took a few days off to work at home?"

Scowling with annoyance, you leaned against the door and mumbled: "It helps me relax and clear my head."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that Patrick is here," you felt the ground disappear under your feet as he spoke. "He came to sign some papers and I thought you might like to join us in the living room. Soph made your favorite apple pie."

This information made your temples ache with tension, and you had to massage them to ease the stabbing pain. "Father, I... I'm not really in the mood for guests."

Especially when this guest was Patrick Bateman.

Your father just sighed and stepped back, which meant he wasn't going to try to convince you. Most of all, you hated to upset your family, even though you didn't want to see Bateman, not after the things that had happened to you during these long, crazy days.

"Okay, okay," you knew you would regret it, but now you didn't see any other option. "I'll be back soon."

With that, you closed the door, feeling the panic rising in your chest. It seemed that your father still thought that you were still on good terms with Patrick, since you had not told him anything about that damn dinner. Trying to pull yourself together, you quickly went to the mirror to freshen up a bit - the fact that you were worried about what Bateman would think of your appearance still bothered you, but there was nothing you could do about it.

Almost fifteen minutes later, you finally came downstairs, wearing a short black top and your favorite tight jeans, and no, you weren't trying to impress him - a little spice wouldn't hurt.

As you approached the living room, you began to hear a cacophony of different voices: your dad's, Sophia's, and another unfamiliar female voice that made you stop in confusion around the corner. Who was that?

"(Y/n), don't be shy, come here." Your father's comment made you frown and bite your lip in embarrassment as you felt like you were transferred back to your childhood.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped into the living room and immediately became the center of everyone's attention. Your eyes quickly found the owner of the unknown voice - a pretty blonde girl sitting next to Patrick with a small notebook in her elegant hands. 

Another blonde, huh? 

Putting on a friendly fake smile, you managed to hide your frustration and walked closer to the couch to take a seat next to your father, completely ignoring Bateman's intense gaze.

"Uh, this is Jean, Patrick's assistant," your father introduced the blonde girl to you, and she smiled shyly when you raised your eyes to her. "Jean, this is (y/n), my lovely daughter."

"Nice to meet you, (y/n)," Jean murmured and turned to look at Patrick, as if looking for his approval. When he said nothing, she continued. "Patrick has told me a lot about you."

"Really?" You replied skeptically, your hands already crossed over your chest as you desperately tried to keep your composure. "How nice."

Somehow your father managed to notice the growing tension between the two of you, and his little cough caught everyone's attention. "Sorry, my throat gets dry from time to time."

"No need to apologize, Mr. (y/l/n)," Bateman suddenly joined the conversation, causing you to almost jump in your seat. "How about your lovely daughter making us some drinks?" His white-toothed smile was blinding, but you did your best not to react to this provocation.

"Yeah, sure. I'll make them." You stood up quickly, seeing this as a great opportunity to escape.

"Let me help you!" Jean suddenly suggested.

"No no no, you don't have to!"

"Hey, let her help you," Patrick put forward and tapped Jean's knee several times, which you couldn't miss. "It's better not to refuse people's help, because we live in such a cruel world. You know what I mean, (y/n?)" 

His smug wink at you made your hands clench into fists, but you decided not to argue with him and just stumbled out of the living room, hearing Jean's soft footsteps behind you.

In the kitchen, the two of you didn't try to strike up a conversation, feeling uncomfortable but not hostile. With casual confidence, you took out two glasses and three cups under the attentive gaze of Patrick's assistant.

"Whiskey for the boys and coffee for the girls," you hummed to yourself, finally glancing at Jean, who was standing shyly in the doorway. "Maybe you want something else?"

"No," she gasped when you asked her. "Coffee is fine."

"Good."

As the blonde woman watched you make the coffee, she came closer and looked around the kitchen. "'Your house is very cozy."

"Thank you," you gave her a warm smile and picked up a silver tray for the cups. "My mother used to love an atmosphere like this," your sudden confession made you stop everything for a moment and Jean noticed your tension. "She would be very touched by your compliment."

The sad undertone in your words made the woman pause and think about what to say next, and you used the moment to get additional things for the coffee, including sugar, cream and vanilla. 

"I would only ask you to help me with this," you nodded at the nearly full tray. "And I'll take glasses and a bottle."

"Okay," Jean picked up some napkins before taking a deep breath. "Patrick was right when he said you were a lovely girl."

Frowning, you almost spilled the last cup of coffee when you heard those words. "Uh, I don't understand why you were talking about me at all."

"Well, we talked about you when I made the reservation for your dinner in Dorsia."

An awkward silence hung in the air for some time before you managed to pull yourself together and place all the cups on the shimmering tray. "Mmhm-yeah, that dinner was something, I have to admit," you let out a nervous chuckle, not wanting to remember the events of that evening. "Do you like him?"

"W-what?" Jean blushed almost instantly, her beautiful blue eyes averted from your curious gaze and she had to fix her stray lock of hair behind her ear. "He's my boss, and I like working with him."

"Is he a good boss?"

"Yes, he is."

Satisfied with her answer, you crossed your arms and grinned. "Glad to hear it, I mean seriously," you watched her bat her long eyelashes as you moved the tray over to her. "I think you two look great together."

Exhaling, Jean took the tray and giggled sheepishly. "What makes you think that anyway?"

"I just noticed the way he looks at you," you replied frankly, picking up the glasses. "Thanks for the help. Now I have to get a drink for the boys."

With that, you cast your most sincere smile before retreating from the kitchen, and once you were out in the hall, your face became blank and dull. The things you just said - were they just some kind of masochism? You kept asking yourself as you walked to your father's office, where he kept his favorite drinks that he only served to special guests.

Carefully, with cat-like grace, you touched a doorknob when you noticed that the door was half open. Concerned, you quickly turned around and when you saw no one, you quickly opened it and stepped inside, only to freeze in shock and it was a fucking miracle that you didn't let the glasses fall down on the floor.

Bateman was standing with his back to you, so at first you hoped he wouldn't notice, but as soon as you turned on your heels, the man spun around and the sight of you made him smile mischievously and absolutely charmingly.

"Wrong door?" Patrick chuckled and shifted his position so that you could now see him holding a bottle and a lit cigar in the other hand.

"You can't smoke in my house," you said in an irritated voice. "I'm serious."

"Oh, stop it," his mocking chuckle echoed in your ears, annoying you more and more. "Your father gave me permission. Besides, he told me he had a bottle of J&B, so I decided to take it myself, since you two were very slow."

Having said that, the man puffed on his cigar and blew several rings of smoke, causing you to cover your mouth as you started to cough. The sheer arrogance he radiated was poisonous and somehow suffocating, it was like a tight rope around your neck, no snuff could affect you like that.

"Why did you send Jean with me?"

"And why didn't you answer my calls?" Bateman interjected sternly, closing the distance between the two of you.

The sudden question made you lose your balance for a second. "Calls? What calls? I... I don't even understand what you're talking about."

With a cheeky grin, Patrick took a drag on his cigar and blew right into your face. "Hmmm, let me remember," he leaned against the door and cocked his head to the side. "The one right after dinner, and the one the next day, and the one two days after that."

It was strange, because all these days no one had ever told you about Patrick's calls, and you thought that if he had really made them, your father would definitely have told you, since he wanted you two to get along so much.

"All right, let's pretend that you really did call me, but I can't understand why?"

"You seemed very upset after dinner," the man strove to parry your provocative question, though his eyes glowed with the thrill of the challenge you were giving him. "I just wanted to check on you, since your old man is worried about you too much, and... I didn't need any trouble to close the deal."

Another disappointment.

"Business above all, huh?" No matter how hard you tried to hide the pain, your voice still sounded somber. 

"Shhh," his sudden touch on your lower lip caused something heavy to fall in your stomach. "Don't be like that, Babydoll. I'm just doing my job."

"Even now?" You taunted him blatantly, though your panting could be clearly heard in the room.

The sexual tension between the two of you was palpable in the air, but you both remained still, even when Bateman approached your neck to inhale your sweet scent, mixing it with the sharp smell of snuff.

What the hell were you doing? 

When Bateman pulled away to place the bottle on the nearby bookshelf, he grabbed the glasses you were holding so desperately that your fingers began to curl. Then the man squeezed the cigar between his white teeth and, with practiced ease, picked you up and carried you to your father's desk. As he set you down on the wooden tabletop, he didn't let you protest, pressing his large palm over your mouth.

"Now, now, little girl," he cooed, exhaling smoke before pulling you a little closer. "C'mere, I'm going to show you something."

Carefully but determinedly, Patrick grabbed your chin and drew you closer so that your mouths were barely an inch apart. Pressing his thumb along your lips, the man forced you to part them, and in the next moment, he blew some smoke into your mouth before sealing it with his own. Intoxicated by both the smoke and Patrick's sudden intrusion, your hands clutched desperately at his broad shoulders, cramping the expensive fabric of his pinstriped suit. After all these days of desperate need for his touch, this kiss was like a sip of water in the desert; it was vital and overwhelming. With every breath you took, Bateman's movements became bolder, less tentative and more demanding; his warm hand slipped under your short top to caress your shoulder blades with feathery strokes that almost drove you to moan against his lips, but you struggled to stop yourself.

"Patrick," you gasped after breaking the kiss. "What the hell are we doing?

"You tell me, Babydoll." 

"No, because it was you who told me you didn't want to be a babysitter. Did you forget?" 

When you tried to slide off the desk, he wouldn't let you, pressing you closer to his strong body and finally putting his cigar in the ashtray not far from where he was holding you. "I always remember my own words…" With that, he placed both his hands on either side of your knees before moving them slowly up along your hips and God, Bateman was doing it so damn slow on purpose, forcing you to jolt from the strange tension in your lower belly - the feeling that had become your personal drug. "Oh, don't pretend you don't like it. Your body speaks for itself."

You tried to pull away from him as you couldn't stand the way his hazel eyes were stripping you down, but the more you struggled, the more Patrick grew impatient, so he just yanked roughly by your hair, forcing you to tilt your head back and expose your delicate neck, which Patrick didn't miss the chance to mark, biting your tender flesh and then sucking the mark with a muffled groan.

There was something feral about him and that 'something' was making your body respond to his every touch, every little contact.

Nuzzling your cheek, Bateman lowered one of his hands to your bare stomach, drawing invisible lines along it before suddenly cupping your throbbing pussy through the tight material of your jeans, making you squeal and shake on the desk.

Just as Patrick was about to kiss you again, you both noticed a commotion coming from behind the door and then realized it was your father, you both didn't even have a chance to move as the door was quickly opened, revealing a very compromising picture.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

#american psycho #patrick bateman x reader #patrick bateman imagine #patrick bateman #patrick bateman x female reader #patrick bateman x you #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x you #slasher smut #patrick bateman smut #patrick bateman headcanon #christian bale smut #christian bale x reader #patrick bateman reader #christian bale #patrick bateman imagines

[pickingupmymercedes]

She's here and she's not only ours - Lewis Hamilton

Sequel to She's here and she's ours. Bit of angst, lots of fluff.

pairing: Dad!Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

wordcount: +1k

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

______________________________________________________________

Navigating the journey from being a couple to becoming a family is often likened to entering a whole new world—one filled with unpredictable challenges and profound joys. The radiant 7-month-old girl had effortlessly woven herself into the fabric of your lives, captivating not only you and Lewis but everyone who crossed her path. Yet, adjusting to new routines, shifting priorities, managing emotional and physical changes, and, most crucially, cultivating a deep bond with your child were aspects of parenthood that no book, class, or well-meaning advice had adequately prepared you for.

And so, the real test of parenthood often lay in learning to prioritize.

“Oh my God, she’s growing up so quickly!” Susie exclaimed, her eyes lighting up as she entered the living area of your apartment, making a beeline for the giggling toddler seated in her bumbo seat on the kitchen island.

“Please, don’t remind me. Time is flying by too fast already,” you replied, your smile widening as you watched your baby recognize Susie and reach out to be scooped up.

“I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced… I just... I had to know why,” Susie said, her expression curious and concerned.

You had expected people to comment and be surprised, but you hadn’t anticipated the attention coming so soon, even before you and Lewis had a chance to share your news.

“So, I take it everyone at Mercedes already knows?”

“More like everyone on the paddock, probably,” Susie confirmed.

“Do you remember her first few days? When she struggled to gain weight and every day felt like a battle?”

The first inkling that something was amiss came mere hours after you had returned home with your newborn daughter. Her incessant cries and insatiable hunger, even after an hour of breastfeeding, had raised red flags.

You had been warned that the initial days would be challenging—that you were now solely responsible for nourishing a tiny human. So, you soldiered on, suppressing your growing panic and tears, dreading the 40-minute feeding intervals where you’d bite your tongue and cheeks to keep from crying.

You tried every trick in the book—increasing your water intake, warm and cold compresses, dietary changes, pumping between feeds, consulting lactation specialists, and even consuming magic lactation cookies. Yet, your milk supply remained stubbornly low.

The sense of failure weighed heavily on you; your primary role was to nurture your baby, something you had done successfully during pregnancy. Instead of relishing the joys of new motherhood, you felt like a failure, a lesser mother to your daughter and a villain to your husband's fairytale of having kids.

Lewis was acutely aware of your distress and tried to be supportive. Despite knowing, as doctors and specialists had advised, that you needed to supplement with formula for both your daughter’s and your own well-being, he refrained from pressuring you. Every night he would feel as though you were punching him in the face when you went out of his sight to cry, or how his chest would tighten when he carried your screaming daughter in his arms, knowing she needed more, from him and from you. Still, he didn’t have in him to lecture you, yet again, on how that little girl needed more, not when you were giving your life and sanity away for her.

It wasn’t until the day before her second week checkup that you broke down. You knew the scale wasn’t going to give her much more grams than she had the past week, way less than she deserved and the added burden that he would be going for his first race of the season in a couple days had you reaching your breaking point.

Seeing Lewis on the sofa, looking worried and worn-out, you collapsed in front of him, letting your tears flow freely. He held you, comforting you with gentle whispers, and you both agreed that transitioning to formula was for the best. Despite the months of hearing about the benefits of breastfeeding, you had come to understand that sometimes the most challenging part of parenthood was knowing when to stand your ground and make the best choice for your family.

“We don’t want his job to feel like a burden every weekend,” you said.

“So, the Hamiltons will be a staple in the paddocks?” Susie asked, her approving smile revealing her pride.

“Life doesn’t always go as planned, does it?” You shrugged

“The media is going to love that smile,” Susie cooed, her attention directed at the toothy grin of your daughter.

“Yeah… She won’t be only ours, but Lewis needs her as much as she needs him. I guess it’s a small price to pay,” you replied, smiling at your yawning daughter in Susie’s lap, her little hands rubbing her eyes—a clear sign that her naptime was due.

“Please, let me. She still loves Disney songs, right?” Susie absentmindedly asked, already heading towards your daughter’s room, laying the toddler on her cheast and ready to lull her to sleep with a familiar melody. As you watched, you couldn’t help but marvel at how your daughter had already captured so many hearts at such a young age.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk

If you'd like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

#lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton #formula 1

[tojivu]

nightmares ⋆ nanami kento

an. my finals start in june i'm gonna explode yall

cw. sfw. gn!reader. kento has nightmares and he needs you

playing. oh my god by fog lake.

nanami's been getting more sleep ever since he left jujutsu tech and that shitty nine to five he used to slave at every damn day — along with the fact that he's able to spend more time with you. he likes to say that it helps him sleep, having you within arms reach (something that was extremely rare in the past, considering he had no time to rest).

kento thinks you resemble closely to a human sized pillow, and he often treats you as such. his arms are wrapped around your frame, one of his legs laying on top of yours — his chest rises and falls slowly, small snores leaving his lips — and you're thankful, very thankful; nanami was never able to sleep this soundly when you two lived in tokyo.

you try your best to push his heavy weighted figure away: you groan and complain that he's too big to be sharing this bed with you and that he should be sleeping on the floor instead. yet, you welcome him with open arms every night — pressing kisses to his forehead and running your fingers through his blonde hair.

you'd rather clingy and sleepy nanami who uses you as a personal bolster pillow in the night than sleepless nanami who locks himself away in his office, or exhausted nanami who drags his feet through the entrance of your home with bloodied limbs. it broke your heart more times than you could really count, seeing kento that way.

nanami kento saw his life flash before his eyes in shibuya, and all he could really pray for was to make it out alive so he could see you one last time — even if it were just for a few minutes. he clung desperately onto the last bit of energy and will he had in hopes of making it out alive; even if he was mutilated to a point beyond recognition, he needed to be with you. that was the only way he could let himself go — he would crawl back to your home if it meant he could kiss you one last time.

he never told you how long he'd be gone, or if he'd even come back at all: so you waited anxiously, refreshing news pages and watching the television every night for some sort of good. any sort of indication kento was okay.

he doesn't return home. you only see him when you rush down to the hospital they take him to — barely conscious, holding on to hope he didn't know he still had. nanami regains his full consciousness in the weeks following, the first thing he says being that he's done.

yes, nanami didn't want to risk it. never again.

it's 2 in the morning and you're unable to sleep, nanami's groans and sudden flinches are keeping you up.

"ken?"

the expression on his face is horrific — you feel the guilt wash over you like a wave, high and then crashing; so your fingers find his arms and you try your very best to shake the man awake.

your husband wakes up with a whimper; tired eyes almost brimming with tears at the fact that he is awake and you are real. his mouth is sealed, unable to utter a word, but the way his lips tremble tells you everything he cannot say.

"are you—"

soon, calloused fingers are gripping the flesh of your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. a nightmare, you can already tell: his hands feel clammy and his breathing is laboured.

"ken," you whisper. "'s okay. i'm here."

he sucks air through his teeth, trying to catch his breath. his body shudders at your touch as you graze over his skin — tracing circles on his bare back, your lips on his forehead. kento feels like he's about to cry, but he's not sure from what: at the fact that he had the worst dream of his life, or the fact that he's not dead and you're still here.

"'m s-sorry," he mutters. his voice is strained, still that deep and low tone that you're familiar with — but your heart still breaks as he apologises. "i'm sorry for waking you."

"don't be sorry," you comb your fingers through his hair using your free hand. "you know i don't mind it."

he sniffles and you yearn to hold him even tighter, but you think he would suffer broken ribs if you went through with that; so you settle for his head on your chest and your arms wrapped around his back.

"love you," nanami mumbles, voice getting softer and his grip looser — he feels his heart calm and his mind empty when you touch and hold him just like this. "i love you so much."

nanami wanted to be your protector. he hoped he would be for the remainder of his life — he likes to think he's doing a decent job at it now — but sometimes, it feels as though you are his; you fit awfully well to the title.

he supposes that's why he sleeps longer with you in the same bed as him; it's a peaceful thing knowing you're next to him if he has another bad dream, or if he feels cold and needs your warmth — or if he just wants to lay with you.

"i love you more, ken," you lulled, the tips of your fingernails scratching the skin of his trapezius; he recognises the heart shapes you trace on him. "get some rest."

"okay," he hums, his nose poking at your collarbones — his lips slowly leaving trails of kisses along them. "goodnight, darling."

your lips curl into a smile almost instinctively and you think it's embarassing, but it's much too dark for kento to see you blush at the name he calls you. you're thankful.

"goodnight, baby."

he's thankful that it's close to pitch dark, as well — kento thinks you can't see the smile he has on his face — but what he doesn't realise that you can feel him on your skin; feel the way his cheeks puff and his lips form the small smile you are so familiar with.

090124 — happy new years Tartaglieo fandom my gcse's are upcoming.

#nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #nanami fluff #nanami kento fluff #nanami x reader fluff #nanami kento x reader fluff #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x reader fluff #nanami kento #nanami kento jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami x you #jjk imagines #jjk headcanons #jjk gf

[sugarlywhispers]

ex!b.katsuki x reader ; m.izuku x reader — bakugou cheats on his gf, with midoriya's girlfriend.

☆– warnings; ANGST. mention and description of panic attacks, swear words, cheating (bakugou to reader; uraraka to midoriya).

☆–a.n; so here it is! a continuation to THIS DRABBLE. i honestly didn't plan it, but @imaginationmess started brainstorming with me about this a few weeks ago and i couldn't get it out my head! thank you, sweets💕 i hope you like this, even tho i still owe you that villain!bakugou drabble~🙃 i'll work on it soon, i promise~

☆–a.n; also, i decided to split it in several parts. i don't know tho how many parts there will be. i have at least two more parts already written. we will see...😉 don't worry, each link to the parts will be organized in my masterlist♡

The noise around makes you a bit jumpy. It's been weeks since you've been out of your apartment since that day you finally broke down in front of your best friend Mineta Minoru, after Kats-Bakugou finally picked his stuff out of your home.

You're sitting in a little coffee shop close to where you live, waiting. The chattering, the laughs, the kids playing and screaming, the cars and buses that drive outside, everything feels heavy on your chest as it pulls up and down fastly thanks to your breathing. You know what this is, it's not the first time it happened.

Panic attacks. 

You've been having them again since he left.

And you hate them. You hate him for being the reason they appeared again. The first time it happened Mineta had finally convinced you to go out and have some ramen with him late at night after his shift. You accepted, even though you felt your body weak and heavy, only wanting to stay in bed and keep sleeping. Least to say, it ended with Mineta carrying you in his arms, your body trembling non-stop and feeling like you were choking, dying.

But right now, Mineta is not here. And you can feel your throat being closed, like someone was grabbing you by your neck with each breath you take and slowly but firmly putting pressure, until you could breathe no more.

And just when it's about to happen, when you know you're about to make a scene in front of all these people, when the darkness is making its presence in your sight, that he enters the coffee shop.

You don't know why but seeing Midoriya Izuku after so many weeks since you told him the truth, seeing him stand there at the door, a black hoodie that says "HOODIE" in the front and jeans and his typical red trainers as he scans the whole place until his green eyes find yours and smiles openly at you, seeing him walk towards you and getting bigger with each step he takes in your direction –was he ever that big and tall?–, seeing him say "hi" politely to some people who recognized the Number One Pro Hero under the hoodie as he walks inside the place. 

Just seeing him… it takes the pressure off your neck. You can breathe again.

"Hi, Y/N, sorry I'm a bit late," he greets with a shiny smile as he sits in front of you. "I had to finish some paperwork from the night patrol."

You open your eyes wide, "Y-you-" your voice sounds throaty and rough, so you clear your throat. He frowns, watching your neck, but he respectfully waits for you to continue, eyes back on yours, watching you with kindness. "You had night patrol? If I knew, I wouldn't have bothered‐…"

"Oh, no! You didn't bother me at all! You're never a bother, Y/N." His smile is radiant, it's been so long since you had seen someone smile that way in your direction. You feel bad for Mineta. When was the last time he had smiled in your presence? A real, genuine smile. You forgot. "I was hoping you got my message and that you would answer, on your time. But you did answer." You look down, you think his smiles will make you go blind because of its shine.

It was two weeks ago–or three?, you feel like you lost track of time, being on your bed and only getting up when Mineta forced his way into your apartment to make you eat or shower. It's been a while since Midoriya left that message to go grab coffee together. And he had been waiting, and you just now answered.

"I'm sorry… I needed…"

"Time, I know. Me too. It took me a while to process everything. I didn't want to get up off my bed, I barely ate… We both needed time."

You look up at him again and you see him swallow thick, like it's difficult for him to talk about it. And you get it. Fuck, thinking about it only makes you want to cry again. You get it. So you pull one of your hands that were grabbing the cloth of your pants tightly in order to help ground yourself a few moments ago when the panic attack was almost on the surface, and grab his that is laying on the table in front that separates you both.

He looks at it for a moment, your thumb caressing the scars on his hand like it's nothing, and when he looks back up, you try to smile reassuringly.

Everything is going to be okay. You are going to be okay, that's what Mineta tells you every day he goes to check on you. You started to believe he says that aloud to reassure himself more than you, seeing how you didn't have the force to even feed yourself some days and he had to do it. It took you a few days ago, when you tried to reach your phone, you had to get up from the bed and when you did, your legs gave up, making you fall straight to the floor, hitting your chin so hard you think you bit your own tongue as you tasted blood in your mouth. How was this you? Did he really have so much power over you that turned you into this corpse that couldn't even get up to reach the damn phone? Fuck no. You decided it was enough. You decided you were going to be okay.

You know your smile it's not the prettiest or most comforting at the moment, but you try. You try for Midoriya, before saying, "We are going to be okay."

His eyes fill with tears, so visible it makes you want to hold him, protect him–and he's freaking Hero Deku, the most powerful hero on Earth and the Symbol of Hope for humankind. Yet, you can't avoid feeling. Feeling that he doesn't deserve anything that happened. Feeling that he deserves so much happiness and kindness, and he hasn't had that in a long while apparently. It's frustrating watching him break, even this little as he doesn't let the tears escape his eyes and smiles back at you.

Two hours pass and Midoriya and you are still in that coffee shop, chatting animatedly, laughing even. Remembering old times, talking about the present and the future, and about the friends that connected you both.

It feels like… a rush of fresh, cold wind after a hot and humid summer day. You have been so used to the hot, the fire, you forgot that cool, fresh relief existed.

Your phone starts ringing in your little bag and you search it as Midoriya laughs at something you said about Mineta.

"And it doesn't end there…"

"Oh my God, it doesn't? What else could Mineta have done to Bakugou? I understand now why Shoto had to be called in to assist him. Mineta was faking stuff so he wouldn't help him… Genius." You see the tears at the corner of his eyes, but this time they are from laughing. And you find yourself thinking you like that better than the previous tears.

You shake your head, smiling, "He started leaving his purple sticky balls under Bakugou's car wheels." That's it. Midoriya laughs so hard it makes everyone look in your direction. But you don't mind, for the first time in a long while, you don't mind people's attention on you. Midoriya's there. And he's laughing. He is laughing. 

Life seems a bit brighter.

You pick up the call without really looking who it is. "Hello?" You talk in between laughs.

"Y/N? Oh, where… Where are you? I came to the apartment and freaked out when I couldn't find you!" Mineta says, a bit agitated. But you can't avoid laughing again given that the person you were just talking about with Midoriya called you, it is such a funny timing. You signal with a finger to your phone looking at Midoriya and word 'Mineta', which makes him laugh even harder. Midoriya understood the funny timing too. "Are those laughs? Are you laughing?!"

"Sorry… Yes. I'm with Midoriya. We came to grab a coffee."

You can hear Mineta's surprise, you can even picture his eyebrows pulling up high. "Midoriya? As in… Midoriya Izuku?"

"Yes, love, Midoriya Izuku." That makes the green-headed man in front of you shut a bit and look down at his hands. Weird.

"Ow, you haven't called me love in a while… I'm gonna cry," you roll your eyes at your best friend's dramatics.

"Shut up. Do you need something? I'll be back in a bit."

"Oh, no, bun. I just came to bring you lunch and then I have to sign in. I'll probably be on shift until late at night so I made sure I cooked enough so you have leftovers for dinner too."

You smile. Your heart feels warm, and you can't help but think you have one hell of a best friend.

"I love you."

"Oh, I'm definitely crying now."

You chuckle, "Take care today, okay?"

"Always am, bun. Have fun with Midoriya, but I can already tell you are..." You can hear the suggestive tone, and you want to punch him.

"Shut up."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

You end the call and look at Midoriya. He's not smiling anymore, just looking at his hands. His fingers fidgeting with each other, his mind clearly in thought.

"Sorry, I didn't tell Mineta where I was going today. He was worried…"

"Oh, yeah, no problem."

It sounds like there is, so you try to dissipate the tension you don't know what produced it.

"You want to know what else Mineta did?"

Midoriya looks up, eyes open wide, smile returning to his face, "There's more?!"

You nod, also smiling. "He once even left them inside the car, messing up with the engine."

"Oh my God! That's why Bakugou asked for another hero to assist him from now on!" Midoriya laughs again. You shake your head and he stops mid-laugh. "That's… It's not? Then what-...?"

"Do you really want to know?" You raise an eyebrow, sounding cheeky and challenging.

His stance changes, you see a spark in his eyes you have never seen before. He smirks and rests his elbows over the table and gets closer to you, his eyes connected to yours, as he murmurs almost in a low tone whisper, "Tell me."

You can feel your cheeks warmer under his gaze, but find the courage to copy his action and get closer to him, even closer to his ear to whisper in a secret.

"Mineta left cockroaches on the copilot seat, for when Uraraka entered the car."

You back away a bit to look at his face. He looks completely surprised, before throwing his head back and laughing so so hard, completely forgetting they are in a public space.

You laugh too, but because he is laughing so lively. You decide then that you'll try that more. Make him laugh.

#mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #midoriya x reader continuation #mha midoriya izuku x reader #mha midoriya izuku #mha midoriya angst #mha midoriya fluff #mha angst #mha fluff #bnha midoriya izuku x reader #bnha midoriya izuku #bnha midoriya x reader #bnha midoriya angst #bnha midoriya fluff #bnha angst #bnha fluff #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku fanfiction #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku angst #midoriya izuku fluff

[lovelybrooke]

I don't suppose you wanna do an isekai reader for jjk too? I /loved/ the one you did for one piece and would love to see your take on it with jjk characters too!

I swear, some of you read my mind. I wanted to write for Isekai reader but didn't know if anyone would want to read it, since people mostly seem to want to read The Last of Us stuff (I'm not complaining, I love your support). Though, I couldn't resist writing my thoughts below. I would love to write more of this, so feel free to request.

The reader being transported to the world of Jujutsu Kaisen would be fundamentally different than let's say, One Piece or Genshin Impact since the world of Jujutsu Kaisen is mostly the same to modern day Japan, minus the curses. So, when the reader gets transported there, they're not really going to know the difference until they see one of the characters.

The smartest decision in this case would to be to avoid them at all costs, since it's likely that if you mingle with their affairs, you could end up in big trouble. This would work for a while, since I don't imagine you would have high curse energy due to the fact that you're from another world.

However, your presence alone raises suspicion, as some sorcerers are able to tell that you just don't belong. Like I said however, you're able to mask it easily, playing off your aloof and strange behavior as due to the fact that you're a foreigner.

Gojo is definitely the first one you officially meet, him befriending you because he finds you interesting. It isn't until a few weeks of knowing you that he starts to pick up on how weird your presence is.

He starts to think you're some weirdo kid, because when he investigates you, he can't seem to find anything about you. No parents, no friends, no education. It like you just appeared out of nowhere. He knows you can't be a curse, so who are you. He struggles for a while before just asking you.

Gojo doesn't believe you when you explain your situation. Though, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing in the world. He's surprised that a world without curses exists, but kind of disappointed that it's fundamentally the same to his world. Gojo wants to believe you're crazy but can't really come up with a better explanation for why you irk him so much. You choose not to tell Gojo about the fact that you knew him already, or the fact that you knew him at all, since that would only complicate things.

Gojo agrees to help you find a way back home, his explanation being that he's bored and you're interesting, which doesn't make you feel better about your chances returning home. Gojo's idea of "help" is acclimating you to curses and his job as a sorcerer, since you'd have to get used to it eventually if you plan on being here for a while. He's not all bad, he lets you stay at him home while you find a place to live and work. He's not always around, his teaching position taking up most of his time.

When he is with you, he goofs around a lot, gossiping about his students with you. Your time with him allows you both to build a nice friendship, Gojo happy that there's someone who actually likes him, even if it's because you've never seen someone as strong as him. He likes how carefree of a kid you are, gleefully unaware of the dangers of this world.

Eventually Gojo does introduce you to his students, who absolutely love you. Gojo doesn't lie to them about your situation, telling they straight out that you're from another world. Most of them don't believe him, however some, namely Yuji, want to believe it's real. Yuji is fascinated with the idea of you being some insanely strong Jujutsu sorcerer from another world, even when you tell him that's not the case. Eventually, the others warm up to you and the idea that you come from another world.

The students absolutely love you and encourage you to move into the dorms with them. Gojo is against it, since you technically aren't and a student. It's definitely not because he doesn't want you to move out with him. You also decline, saying you need to find your own place since you're on your own. Gojo knows that isn't happening. You're just a kid, you don't need to live on your own.

You spend a lot of time with the students, mostly the first years, however they all like being with you. Yuji and Nobara love asking you questions about your world, only stopping when Megumi forces them to leave you alone so he can hang out with you in peace. Speaking of Megumi, he doesn't really ever believe that you're from another world, but he can't deny the feeling of pride he gets when you see how strong he is during training.

The second years also love you and are sad they didn't get to meet you sooner. The only one who really believes you is Toge, Panda and Maki both thinking isn't bull. However, they find you interesting, so they don't mind it. The all hate that they can't spend as much time with you, since your closer to the first years, and there definitely a little rivalry between them.

The whole time you're there you haven't really had to deal with any curses, Gojo being there to protect you at all times. However, that doesn't mean they aren't aware of you. Sukuna, sadly, is one of the first curses you meet since Yuji's his vessel. You don't really worry about him, since Yuji has him under control, but you never know how he's feeling, which makes you kind of nervous. You try to avoid talking about your world around Yuji, since you're afraid of how Sukuna might react.

Sukuna himself goes through an emotional roller-coaster when it comes to you. At first, he sees you as nothing as a crazy human who is vessel is obsessed with. However, as Yuji spends more time with you, he starts to warm up to you. You intrigue him, and he eventually starts to view you as his crazy human. If you ever get caught up in battle and Gojo isn't there to protect you, Sukuna is demanding Yuji get you to safety. He denies that he cares about you, but his behavior says it all.

You meet Getou and his followers later, Getou being surprised that Gojo is so obsessed with some week human. I image that he knows about you, stalking you when he's in Tokyo. Like Sukuna, he doesn't really care about you at first, however as he continues to learn about you, he starts to understand why Gojo is so obsessed with you. He sees you as someone who needs protection, and he's the only one who can provide that. You don't see him often, but when you do, he's trying to convince you to leave the sorcerers and gone him, so he can protect you.

When Getou can't watch over you, he's getting one of his lackies to watch you for him. Usually, Mahito watches over you, much to Getou's hatred. Getou knows how spontaneous Mahito is, and so he really dislikes whenever he messes with you. However, Mahito finds you absolutely adorable. You're just some small, defenseless, human who he could destroy in one blow. Not that he would do so! He just finds you so interesting. So many strong sorcerers and curses are obsessed with you, even though you're nothing special. Maybe it's your soul? He doesn't know. He'll have to wait until Getou's ready to take you to find out.

You're never going home. That's for curtain. With the strongest curses and sorcerers obsessed with you, you're never going to get the opportunity. Gojo constantly tries to get you to forget about leaving, claiming that his students would be devastated if you left, which is true. Gojo works with his students to make sure that you never have the opportunity to leave, since one of them are constantly with you. It gets overwhelming; however, they always claim that it's for your protection. Honestly, their possessiveness might just push you towards the curses, though it's not likely since Gojo won't allow it.

A/n: I'm going to scream, Jujutsu Kaisen 0 isn't free on Crunchyroll.

#yandere x reader #platonic yandere #soft yandere #platonic yandere jjk #platonic yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #yandere jjk #yandere gojo satoru #platonic gojo satoru #yandere yuji #yandere yuji itadori #yandere megumi #yandere nobara

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#14: Soon As I Get It, You Will (S6E10)

This moment will always have an extra special place in my heart. 😍 It’s when I so clearly in real-time saw that Rick and Michonne were going to perfectly transition to a romantic couple because they’d been in love a long time. I said TWD's opening minutes really used to bless us with some great Richonne content throughout the series, and this one from 6.10, their classic canon ep, is atop the list. This scene paints a clear picture that Rick and Michonne weren't just about to become a couple at the end of the episode - they were going to embrace that they already were one...

I adore domestic Richonne scenes and in this scene, they were just so comfortable and happy living what felt like such a normal morning in their home with their kids. 🥰 Moments like this are what I most want for Rick and Michonne and their children. It's the good, happy, peaceful life they deserve.

The scene starts with Rick and his belt, which I gotta say always makes me think the writers were going for a bit of an innuendo lol. Then the shot makes it a point to show that Rick has taken his ring off. That’s definitely a big indicator that he’s now in a place to more fully and healthily move into a new chapter (and to signal to Michonne 'I'm ready when you are' perhaps lol).

Rick grabs the watch but leaves the ring, and that is such an intentional shot. It symbolizes that it’s time to move forward, in love especially, and Rick is finally ready in proper ways to do that.

And he knows who he’s meant to move forward with - Cuz then she shows right up to his door looking glowy and gorgeous in a robe. 🤗

I love that Michonne feels comfortable enough to approach his room in her robe and towel and ask if he has any toothpaste left and that Rick cutely teases her about using his toothpaste the last few weeks. They bring out such a playful flirty side of each other, and I love it.

Rick’s smile when he teases her and then Michonne's reaction...😊 I know that house felt like a sauna the last few weeks with all that steamy tension they’ve been trying to keep the lid on. 

And I like that whatever happened in the last two weeks broke their ability to downplay their attraction - because the way Rick and Michonne are looking and reacting to each other in this scene...you know I gotta use my favorite word - the attraction is palpable.

I’ll also just always love that even when TF all moved into separate houses, Michonne stayed with her Grimes family. She’s one of them fr.

Michonne sounds like such a mom when she calls for Carl, and Carl sounds like her teenage son when he responds with a low-key attitudinal “What?” This is the first we’re hearing from Carl since getting his eye shot out and it tells you he’s definitely still that same feisty-when-he-wants-to-be kid. 😂 

I love the moment when Rick says he can’t hear Carl and has him come on out. And the smile Rick gives Michonne and the way she amusedly looks at him and subtly rolls her eyes when they wait for Carl to come over. 🤭

And then, after Rick smiles at her, he has this extremely telling reaction like he’s trying to play off whatever he’s so clearly feeling about her before Carl comes and catches his whipped self.

But Rick ain’t ever been slick when it comes to how he feels about Michonne, and so even in that little squint that he does, it’s clear this man has caught all the feelings there is to catch lol. This is a man in love, I tell you. And he knows it now. 🤗

I adore their energy here and I repeat this is not how people who are just friends look at each other. This scene is just so fun too cuz there’s no speculation needed by this point - it is factual that Rick and Michonne are both more aware that they are attracted to and in love with this person in front of them. And it’s sweet to see them be all smiley about it in their final pre-canon scene.

Truly, the only thing they were waiting on at this point was knowing for sure the feelings they felt were mutual.

Carl gives another little attitudinal 'what?' to Rick and when Carl repeats what he said about Denise, Rick says it at the same time as him and it’s such a dad moment. Michonne laughs and I’m pretty positive Rick did this specifically knowing it would make her laugh cuz Carl is not that amused by it at all. 😂

Michonne again sounds like such a mom when she tells Carl it’s time to change his bandage and she needs toothpaste. I know Rick and Michonne have to be picking up on how much they so naturally feel like a perfect little four-person family right now. Like they were giving mom and dad and they were giving husband and wife...

And I love that there's always this refreshed good mood when Rick and Michonne get to just live everyday life together with their kids. 🥰

When Carl says he’s also out of toothpaste, Michonne looks over at Rick and shakes her head as they both smile, and you know Rick knew right then and there that he’s gonna find a way to get her that toothpaste today, no matter what.

And then y’all, it’s Michonne’s turn to have an extremely telling reaction because she then quietly watches as Rick picks Judith up. Again, this quiet lingering look was not a platonic look from our girl Michonne. And whatever she was thinking about Rick at this moment...

I was probably thinking it too. 🤭 It’s sweet seeing Michonne just quietly take this moment in, knowing that she loves and respects this man, as a father, as a fighter, and as the love of her life.

It’s also heartwarming hearing Rick be so sweet with Judith and say, "come on, sweetheart." Girl Dad Rick is always great to see for us and Michonne - because Michonne’s smile observing this is just precious. That’s a good man and she knows it. And a hot man and she knows that too. 😊

It's great how Michonne doesn’t just sound like a mom in this scene, she also is such a wife, especially when she tells Rick to "be good out there." And Rick feels like such a husband saying, "yeah we’ll see."

And then you know I gotta take a moment to celebrate my favorite part of this scene - that low-five. 🙌🏽

It's so good, and I credit that low-five as the flashing light that fully let me know these two had a chemistry that was bound to turn romantic. Looking back, it's genuinely crazy it took me until their canon ep to open my eyes and know for certain that what I'd been watching all along between Rick and Michonne was a love story but hey...

And ever since that low five, I have learned from my mistake and fully boarded this ship without ever looking back.

I love that true to their magnetic ways, Rick extends his hand to her, and, y’all, somehow they manage to make a freaking low-five feel romantic and so much more than just casual.

This is how you know your ship is in (no pun intended) capable hands. Because the actors knew that the next time Rick and Michonne see each other in this ep they're going to go all the way, and so this scene in the opening minutes had to really tell you their current headspace and that they were right on the brink of expressing this long-time love more physically. And of course, Andy and Danai were able to communicate that in something as simple as a low-five. Best in the biz, I'm just saying. 👏🏽💯

This touch between them is important too because their previous few and far between touches had always been one touching the other - but in this moment it was both of them engaging, hinting how they’re both finally ready to express their love a different way.

And I love that as Rick so often does he accompanies the low-five with a thank you. Always so grateful for her. 😊 He can go out on these runs and trust that his kids are okay because they’re with their mom.

It just felt like such a married sendoff as he thanks her before going out for the day and she casually lets him know her favorite type of toothpaste. I love the way she tells him which toothpaste she likes best and that they're able to live a stable enough life for them to even have preferences now.

Rick says, "soon as I get it, you will" and, chile, he means that. 😋 I love that quick line and that he says this sounding like a husband yet again. He knows it’ll be a priority to get this toothpaste not just for the community but for her specifically because what Michonne wants, whether big or small, always matters to him.

And the line also just feels like a fitting sentiment to their relationship. As soon as he gets that this romance can be acted on, she will. So it’s a great line to land on in their final pre-canon moment together.

(and y'all can we just take a moment to observe the way they are looking at each other during this low-five...like the heat coming off of them is really something. it makes sense later that night would finally be 'the night' because i don't think they could resist for one more day lol ❤️‍🔥)

I also never noticed that the scene ends with Rick playfully tossing the ball at her. Can they get any cuter? 😭 What Rick and Michonne bring out of each other is just the best and I adore this bright and happy scene for showing this great and lived-in layer to them and their relationship.

Whether you’d been anticipating Richonne for seasons or were new to the ship, this scene made sure there was no denying that Rick and Michonne are family and not just as parents but truly as gorgeous and natural spouses. Married before they knew they were married, y’all, and this moment made it clear. 

So I really appreciate this morning scene for showing that Rick and Michonne have built a life together not just as 'team family,' not just as co-leaders, but as a mom and dad and very very soon as an officially consummated husband and wife. And y'all...

We'll get there. 😉 But for now, staying focused on this absolutely delightful 14th moment on my list - I think about how Rick and Michonne always got to see the more normal and human side of each other ever since season 3. And in this 6.10 scene, you see them both not only witness that everyday side but really be attracted to that side too, in a way they can no longer hide.

So yeah, toothpaste and toothbrushes stayed giving us some great Richonne content. This 6.10 opener showed that the Richonne ship had been set sail - now it was just time to release the 'canon.' 🤗🪥

#richonne #top 30 #number 14 #rick x michonne #reveling in richonne #twd 6.10 #twd towl #the ones who live

[fairypowerful]

Before I begin, I just wanna throw these out:

• “ ‘Missing out on love’ isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative.”

• “When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.”

• “[…] People cannot fathom the concept that other people might experience romantic attraction, and do so intensely, and yet value something else above romance.”

• You just don’t have those feelings of “I need romance, I need marriage” when your society isn’t broken by being amatonormativity. You just don’t have those feelings when you’re already fulfilled in a community. You just don’t have those feelings when you have a purpose in life.

• “Call me crazy, but I know for a fact that I would not want a romantic relationship if I was a Jedi […] […] […] I honestly don't understand the assumption that ‘the Jedi are miserable because they can't get married,’ I really don't.”

• There’s romance and marriage in every single media and literature, so why should it be inserted into a fictional monastic culture? If you don’t think entire groups of people could choose to have no romantic commitments their entire life, then there’s over a thousand-year nonfictional accounts of monks and nuns and priests choosing to live a single life in an environment that, too, forbids them from romantic commitments, and they lived in contentment and peace.

————————————————

I wanted to show all that first, like a little preview, because this post is not only about why the Jedi are not wrong for disallowing romantic commitments and marriage, but it’s also about amatonormativity which has always been an enormous problem in the real world, and it clearly impacts how people view communities like the Jedi within fiction.

———

“So why can't Jedi marry? The Jedi believe that children and spouses deserve complete attention. They believe that people deserve present parents and involved partners. Being a Jedi isn't a job. It's a lifestyle. How dare they preach compassion and fairness and justice whilst leaving some abandoned child somewhere? How dare they teach kindness and love and self sacrifice while having a neglected spouse?” — @popupguidetothegalaxy (original post here)

This right here! It wouldn’t stop the criticisms within that part of the fandom, it’d just redirect it to a different one.

Even if the Jedi did marry and have families, y’all (Jedi antis) would then criticize the Jedi for prioritizing the galaxy (which is literally their vocation, their aspiration, and their lifestyle) over their spouses and children.

On top of their daily galactic duties that « take them away from the temple on assignments or missions, away from the planet that temple is located on, and always on the move interstellar-wise » ,,, antis think the Jedi should/could be able to marry and raise a family properly with zero neglect of either spouse and child?

Forget about being burnt out like a nurse in a severely understaffed hospital, it’s just simply an impossible commitment!

———

I watched “Tiger Cruise” rather recently, because it’s one of those Disney movies I never watched growing up, and one conversation in the movie puts this into even more perspective – because the teenaged main character is sick & tired of always only seeing her Navy commander father for a few weeks every few months, begging him to quit the Navy and come home for good.

Maddie: Dad, when are you coming home?

Commander Dolan: What do you mean? We're gonna be docking on Friday.

Maddie: No, I mean… When are you coming home for good?

Commander Dolan: Is that why you came on board? To ask me that? [pause] Look, this is my job.

Maddie: Then get a new one. You've got the degrees, you can do like anything you want.

Commander Dolan: This is what I do.

Maddie: [pause] Must be nice .. travel all over the world, no responsibilities.

Commander Dolan: I'm responsible to a lot of people.

Maddie: To strangers, Dad. What about us? [pause] We’re strangers too. We move all over the place, see you for a few weeks every four or five months, or whenever the Navy says it's okay.

Commander Dolan: The Navy is a way of life. I mean, you go into it and you know the sacrifices you have to make.

Maddie: Well, you’ve done it for my entire life.

Seriously, is this what Jedi antis want? It’s misery, and not necessarily on the parent’s part — he’s HAPPY and LOVES his job. He has the degrees to do anything he wants, as Maddie pointed out, but he doesn’t leave the Navy. It’s the same with the Jedi, as they have the best education and biggest library in the galaxies. And yet…

(some Jedi-Critical) and Anti-Jedi fans think the Jedi are miserable and why the Order is “wrong” for disallowing it [which is just projecting their subjective view of “what a fulfilling life is supposed to look like” onto a monastic people who value and find fulfillment in something other than romance], but it would actually be miserable if they did have families.

Pushing aside the fact that the Jedi are a monastic (and not only martial) organization, there’s a legit reason for disallowing marriage and committed relationships. It’s not fun and games. You can’t combine two enormous commitments and think you can handle it without neglecting the other. There’s no such thing as a part-time Jedi, it’s not a job title!

Jedi are able to leave the Order peacefully, they aren’t forced to stay, but on this specific topic, you just don’t have those feelings of « I need romance, I need marriage » when your society isn’t broken by being amatonormativity. You just don’t have those feelings when you’re already fulfilled in a community. You just don’t have those feelings when you have a purpose in life.

How dare they be happy and fulfilled by being Jedi? How dare they show their commitment to the Order by making the active and daily choice to be Jedi, when they could leave any time? How dare they stick their middle finger up at the no-romance/no-marriage rule? How dare the Jedi not conform to the “education → graduation → relationship → engagement → wedding → 2 kids and a dog” trajectory that only an amatonormative society expects of you? How dare the Jedi be monastic and live like it too?

———

(Words belong to @phoenixyfriend)

• “ ‘Missing out on love’ isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative”

• “When your culture is one that emphasizes compassion for all [...] Don't you think that people might just not think of marriage as something worth striving for?”

• “When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.”

I just keep thinking about the real world and how so much of the obsession with marriage and so on is a sociocultural thing. You don't want a big white dress because it's a big white dress: you want it because it is the symbol that your culture has been pushing on you since you were two. Girls are taught to fantasize about weddings and marriage and to like A Certain Look for it, sometimes to such a degree that they can spend decades in denial about things like their sexualities.

And we're unlearning that as a society, people are being more critical of the institution and how they engage with it, are starting to question what it is that our media teaches us, asking 'why is marriage the most important thing in a girl's life, or in anyone's life' and generally moving towards a world where marriage exists but is not treated as a universal life goal.

But the Jedi are just. Already doing that.”

• “Marriage is not an inherent human/sapient want. Companionship is! We are biologically wired to be social creatures! […] But marriage? A signed sheet of paper? That's not...inherent. Fidelity and monamory? Sure, maybe. Plenty of species mate for life. But... humans have been proving that's a choice for most of history.”

— (original post, here)

Even without the galactic scale of their lifestyle and duties, is it really so hard to understand or believe that people wouldn’t be miserable in a society where romance is not considered an important thing at all?

If you don’t think entire groups of people could choose to have no romantic commitments their entire life, then there’s over a thousand-years history of monks and nuns choosing to live a single life in an environment that, too, forbids them from romantic commitments, and they lived in contentment and peace.

They’re not only connected to other Jedi through the Force, they are connected to the rest of the universe through the Force; they find joy in their selflessness, in helping people, in trying their best to do good in a universe permeated with corruption. They love being a Jedi, there’s nothing a romantic relationship can give them that’s as fulfilling as being Jedi.

Just…stop projecting your amatonormative misery onto the Jedi.

———

If millions of people around the world in real-life can choose not to ever get married and have children (without even being a part of a close-knit community like the Jedi), despite being bombarded with amatonormativity in media and literature almost everyday, then what’s so weird about a fictional group (who are literally warrior-monks and whom have all of their companionship needs met within their non-amatonormative community) choosing to be single in favor of a higher calling and lifestyle that’s far more valuable and fulfilling than having a romantic relationship?

———

(Words belong to @jedi-enthusiast)

• “Call me crazy, but I know for a fact that I would not want a romantic relationship if I was a Jedi.

If I lived somewhere where I was a part of a community of people that I considered my mentors, my friends, my family; if I lived somewhere where I was encouraged to learn, to travel, to help people, to enjoy life as it is, and better myself; if I lived somewhere where I was supported and loved and cared for by the community, and I did the supporting, the loving, the caring for other people in the community as well; if I lived somewhere where it wasn't constantly implied, or sometimes outright stated, that my worth was tied to me marrying a man, popping out children, and making money...

...if I was a Jedi, I can honestly say that the thought of pursuing a romantic relationship probably wouldn't cross my mind at all---not unless I met someone specific whom I felt that sort of connection with, but even then, I probably wouldn't give up being a Jedi to be with them because I'd feel more fulfilled as a Jedi than I would in a romantic relationship.

I honestly don't understand the assumption that the Jedi are miserable because they can't get married, I really don't.

If you feel like you wouldn't be able to be fulfilled without a romantic partner, then that's fine! Everyone's different! We all have different wants and needs! But just accept that you wouldn't be fulfilled without a romantic relationship and stop acting like it's impossible for anyone else to feel differently.

The Jedi all seem perfectly happy as they are.”

— (original post, here)

I also wanna add, because I don’t know where to put this statement … there’s romance and marriage in every single media and literature, so why should it be inserted into a fictional monastic culture? They’re not only warriors, they’re monks too.

It’s a rhetorical question…but I think either they’re so marriage-obsessed that they hadn’t thought of this. Or they are consciously aware of the over-saturation of romance within media when they talk about how the Jedi Order are wrong for disallowing romantic relationships, but they don’t care because they think higher callings are stupid and anything else is inferior to a romance/marriage.

———

(Words belong to @tookas-have-teeth) (original post here)

• “There is a difference between people saying that everyone feels romantic attraction and that it is necessary to being human [arophobia] and the comments a lot of people make about the Jedi.

Oftentimes, when I see complaints about the Jedi, it's because people are angry that people who DO feel romantic attraction might not choose to act on it, or might be part of an organization that requires its members to give up romantic relationships and marriage. People cannot fathom the concept that other people might experience romantic attraction, and do so intensely, and yet value something else above romance.

People consider this to be a cruel denial and repression of one's feelings, rather than seeing it as a choice people are making to prioritize things they value. People have SO bought into the idea that romance is the Ultimate Form of Love, that romance is necessary to live a fulfilled life, that they cannot imagine folks finding other forms of love more fulfilling, especially if those folks experience romantic attraction.”

—

[a comment within the post linked immediately above] “By claiming that people who experience romantic attraction *must* act on it or else they are oppressed, one is functionally insulting every priest, monk, nun, or any number of members of a religious order who choose, of their own free will, not to pursue romance in favor of a higher calling.” — @supersaiyanjedi14

———

There’s only two other fictional worlds that I can think of off the top of my head, that are non-amatonormative. Blissfully fulfilled and happy …

… Equestria (My Little Pony) and Pixie Hollow (Disney Fairies).

After learning the word, I could now put a name to why these two worlds are my top favorites: It’s a non-amatonormative society where everyone’s happy with just a community and a purpose in their life, where romance is 100% not an important factor.

“But in Pixie Hollow, there’s no reproduction, so of course there wouldn’t be any relationships.”

There’s still love and attraction.

Rosetta gets a crush on Sled in Secret of the Wings, Queen Clarion and Lord Milori reveal they fell in love in the distant past. And Terrence has a crush on TinkerBell (although that might just be the printed media, ‘cause I don’t remember it being obvious in the movies).

Is it really so hard to understand or believe that in a society where romance is not considered an important thing at all, and people have (literal) power and a job that they love and a whole damn community for companionship, then those people wouldn’t be miserable?

So, again, stop projecting your allonormative and amatonormative misery onto the Jedi. ‘Cause that’s all it is: your projection.

It’s so sad that the real world can’t be like the aforementioned worlds. Our world makes it so hard for people; a majority don’t have jobs they love, or they don’t have time or money to pursue and grow their talents, and there’s no true community among us. It’s literally dystopian, and we only see it as “this is normal, it’s real life” because we don’t know any other way. But that’s quite a different topic, so…

—

I just wanted to add these, unrelated to Star Wars and fandoms, to point out how destructive it [amatonormativity and allonormativity] is in the real world. ‘Cause I do see tweets on my timeline, from time to time, where a user will be torn over not having a relationship at a certain age or their life not following the ‘right’ trajectory.

[posts by people outside of the Star Wars fandom]

— @uncanny-tranny (original post here)

• Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

— @/acegirleatscake on Twitter

• Allonormativity and amatonormativity normalizes ableism: the “you must be cold, sick, delusional” or “there’s something wrong with you” if you don’t have sexual or romantic attractions or don’t want those types of relationships. Being single is seen as “being unwell.”

@/0p4l3sc3nt for this one (below)

• […] single people are constantly questioned about the legitimacy of our happiness […] In an Amatonormative society, our romantic relationships will always have ulterior motives (often subconscious) – which arise from us being conditioned to see romantic relationships as the means to achieve personhood, happiness, and TRUE purpose.

———

Sincerely, everyone in the Anti-Jedi circle needs to go outside, touch grass, and reflect on it.

If our society wasn’t amatonormative (if there was no such thing as our idealization of romance and marriage, if romantic relationships weren’t seen as the most important thing at all in our society), then nobody would have an issue with the Jedi Order disallowing it — for many legit reasons, might I again remind you! Their reasons make so much sense, yet your amatonormativity floods in and turns your brain into worms.

• “Fiction doesn't necessarily map onto people's real life opinions, but the statements people make about this topic are often very broad "the Jedi are bad for forbidding marriage, because people NEED romance" type statements that definitely sound like they're general worldviews rather than just opinions on fictional characters.” — @tookas-have-teeth (again)

This post was left in my drafts from a month ago (early August 2023), but seeing the topic come up again just made me kinda snap; and I don’t want to just scream into the void, so I’m posting it.

And I don’t care how repetitive some of it is, because that was very intentional. They’re like little reminders, so you don’t miss the point and might actually reflect on it.

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

#star wars #amatonormativity #pro jedi #fictional monastic cultures do not need romance or marriage when every single media is non-monastic and oversaturated with romance #in defense of the jedi #long post #allonormativity #this was in my drafts but I’m taking it out ‘cause I’m just sick and tired of ppl acting like the Jedi are miserable over the Order’s rule #I’m taking it out because I’m just so sick and tired of ppl acting like the Jedi don’t make the active daily CHOICE to be a Jedi #I’m sick and tired of allonormative and amatonormative-minded ppl in the fandom #thank you George Lucas for creating the Jedi #sw meta #star wars meta #I wish our society could be more like Equestria and Pixie Hollow and the Jedi #Our society is a dystopia

[justrainandcoffee]

Home (Alfie Solomons x fem!oc)

Alfie Solomons x Rose Coldwell (ofc) masterlist

Summary: Alfie is staying at the distillery while the men from Birmingham are there. He doesn't trust them around his place. In consequence, he feels tired and grumpier than usual. The visit of his wife, maybe can make him change his mind.

Warnings: None, except some veeeeeery slightly mentions of sex. The return of the king: Beast. I missed this little creature.

Words: 650.

Supposedly this was going to be just a moodboard plus a little blurb and it ended up as a whole drabble 💁‍♀️.

Those were hard days for more reasons than one. Alfie was not able to go to home because of extra work. Tommy Shelby's men were there at all hours and Alfie simply didn't trust them. In consequence, the last week he barely had time to see his wife.

It's late when Alfie heard voices and laughs. Fuck them. He sighed trying to focus on the papers on the desk.

Next to him, Beast, the feral chihuahua who lived there, was sleeping. Alfie looked at the animal. The man liked him, there was something on its personality -fearless, vicious, with no sense of self preservation...- that reminded him of himself. But now, sleeping, no one could say that Beast was indeed a beast. The ankles of everyone there were safe for now.

Few days ago, one of the Brummies ended up with a bruise on one of his eyes because he tried to touch Rose when she was entering the distillery, thinking she was a some random woman. It wasn't Alfie who caused the bruise. Now, no one said a word nor looked at her when she walked into the bakery. Except the Jewish men, who knew her, and greeted her amicably.

Alfie lifted his eyes from the paperwork when he heard the door opening. Finally something good on his awful day.

"Luv, what are ya doin' 'ere?" It's too late. I thought ya were already sleepin' at home."

"I'm visiting you, Al. I need to know you're okay, sweetheart. You look tired and I miss you."

"I miss you too, luv. I look tired and I'm tired. Have ya seen them? All they do is laugh and talk all the fuckin' time. Fuck them."

His wife approached him and started to massage his shoulders. "You need to rest, Al. How many more days do you think you're going to handle this situation? Sleeping here, eating badly... You need to trust your men, they can control the Tommy's ones."

"Mmh."

"I miss you, Alfie. And I need you, too. I understand the situation, I support you. You know that, but... You're my husband and I can't see you overworking and stressing yourself because of it." She put her arms around his shoulders and rested her head on his. "I miss you," she repeated, whispering in his ear.

"I know, Rosie. Fuck, I know. I miss you too, miss home, our evenings, your company..." Alfie left the pen on the desk and stroked her hands. "But..."

"I know."

Alfie couldn't say that her voice sounded angry but disappointed. She kissed his temple, "I know. Do you at least have five minutes for me?"

When Alfie nodded, she sat on his lap and put her lips on his. After all the stress, feeling her, kissing her it was like a day in the paradise. She was using the perfume he liked it the most, Alfie knew she was trying to persuade him to left his place to go to their home and as she was unbuttoning his trousers, apparently, she was going to succeed.

Not for the first time they had sex on his office. And in this case it was exactly what Alfie needed. He was kissing her neck, while the hands were still on her waist caressing her skin.

"I love ya," he said against her neck. "Let's go home."

"For real?"

"For real."

Alfie wasn't there when Ollie arrived at the distillery before the sunrise. There was a note on his desk saying that he was at home with his wife, he was planning to return after midday. Finally, Ollie thought.

On Alfie's chair, Beast was contemplating his surroundings. Ollie wasn't that stupid to try to remove him from there. The dog seemed proud of himself. And it seemed, too, that Alfie had left in charge the only one, besides him, capable of keeping the order in Camden Town. And he wasn't wrong.

#alfie solomons #alfie solomons x oc #alfie solomons x ofc #alfie x rose #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x oc #moodboard #tom hardy #beast of camden town

[lucy90712]

Gavi watching his s/o perfoming at her concert and him being so happy and proud of her.

WC: 2.2k Tonight is the night my dream finally comes true. I have always liked to sing and I've wondered if I could ever make it as a singer but for a long time that felt impossible. As it turns out it it's not impossible as I just released my first album and now I'm going to perform my first ever concert. 

A few years ago my dream still felt impossible but then I met Pablo. We started off as friends after a mutual friend introduced us but we were both attracted to each other so things quickly progressed into us dating. A few months after we met we made things official and once we did we were pretty much inseparable. One day I was over at his place waiting for him to get home from training as he wanted us to spend as much time together as possible as he had a busy time coming up. While I was waiting I was making the both of us lunch and like I always do I was singing as I work but I was so in my own world that I didn't hear the door open and Pablo come in. As soon as he heard me singing and we talked about it a bit Pablo insisted that I at least try and make it as a singer. 

Pablo did everything he could to support me as I started proper voice lessons and begin to write and record songs. I used some of the money I had saved to pay for all of that but Pablo also helped me out which I tried to tell him not to do but he insisted on helping me out. When things felt impossible and like a waste of time Pablo encouraged me by saying that he used to feel that way when he was younger but now he's achieved his dream because he kept working hard. He really wanted us both to be living our dreams and be that power couple who have both worked so hard to achieve their dreams all while supporting each other every step of the way. It was his positivity and belief in me that kept me going even when things were hard. 

After a lot of hard work behind the scenes I released my first song which a few people listened to but it wasn't a success at all. That didn't deter me though I kept going and trying to find my style which eventually I did and that was rewarded by the song somehow blowing up on tiktok which brought more attention to all of my other music. Once more people started to listen to my music I made sure that I kept them interested by putting out more music as quickly as I could. Eventually things became more stable and I had created a proper fan base which was doing nothing but growing. Once it got to this point Pablo used my song in his Instagram story and a few weeks later we went public with our relationship which helped me a lot too. He offered his help from the beginning but I wanted to make it on my own as that's the only way I'd feel like my success was my own. 

Since then I've been working hard every day and I even quit my job as I was starting to make money from my music and Pablo said he would help support me if I needed it. Last month I released my first full album and now I'm preparing for my first concert right where it all started in Barcelona. After this I have a small tour around Spain but I just had to start here in Barcelona so that Pablo and the rest of my friends could attend. 

I have been at the venue for a few hours already because I had to be here to do sound check as well as many other things but the main reason I got here so early is because I'm so nervous. I barely slept last night because I was so worried that no one would turn up even though I know exactly how many tickets have been sold. Also running through my mind was the thought that everyone might hate my voice as I know I'll sound different in real life even though I don't use auto tune. We had sound check first which took my mind off things for a bit but then I was back to sitting around until rehearsals which allowed me to go back to thinking about everything that could go wrong. After rehearsals I had a few hours until the start of the show which was supposed to be for me to get ready but I started it by sitting and having a panic attack. 

"Are you ok my love?" Pablo asked as he poked his head round the door 

"Yeah I'm fine what are you doing here so early" I said 

"I wanted to come and see you because I knew you'd be nervous and I can tell that you are not having a good time so its a good thing I'm here" he said 

"Now tell me what's going through your mind" he said 

"I just don't want everyone to hate me I mean what if I'm not as good as they thought I was" I said 

"If anyone thinks that then they're crazy because I know nothing about singing but you have always sounded like an angel to me even when you're not trying so everyone will love you don't stress yourself over that" he said 

"I'm definitely not that good but thank you" I laughed 

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready?" He asked 

"Yeah I am" I replied 

"Then what are you waiting for you I know I love watching you get ready" he smiled 

He wasn't lying so I grabbed all of my makeup stuff and started to get myself ready while Pablo sat behind me watching in the mirror as his arms clung around my waist. While I was concentrating he just kept talking which was actually really helpful as it kept me distracted and made me laugh every now and then. Once my makeup was done it was time for hair and Pablo being the good boyfriend he is helped me section my hair and hold strands out the way while I did the style I had planned. He then helped me into my outfit while I put my earpieces in as there was only a few minutes until I was supposed to go on. 

Once I was ready Pablo grabbed my hand and we walked backstage together. That's when I started to hear the crowd and things suddenly felt so much more real than they did earlier. All of those people are here for me which is such a crazy concept and slightly overwhelming to think about. Pablo must've been able to tell that I was getting nervous again as he spun me round to face him and placed his hands on my waist. He held me close to him and had me look directly into his eyes which made it feel like we were the only two people there which really calmed my anxiety. 

"You've got this cariño just go out there and give it your all I will be right there the whole time so just look at me if you feel anxious" he said 

"Thank you amor" I whispered back 

With that he let go of me and gave me one last kiss before running off to make it to his seat. I jumped up and down a bit and to hype myself up before finally walking out onto the stage. The noise was almost deafening as people in the crowd screamed and cheered for me. I couldn't help but smile knowing that there was this much excitement just to hear me sing I mean I'm not anything special I'm not like Taylor Swift but I sure felt like it walking out into that stage. To help settle myself I spoke to the crowd a bit and I looked for Pablo who was sat with some of the boys right in my eye line. 

When I finally started my set I begun to feel a whole lot more confident and I really got into it. I was completely in my own world feeling myself as I sung all of my songs and did all of the dances I had worked on with a choreographer. Every now and then I looked over to Pablo who was singing along every time I looked over without a care in the world which gave me even more confidence to do the same. All of the boys looked like they were having a good time but when I caught Pablo's eyes and saw him give me the biggest smile I could feel his proud he was. For a second I wondered if that's how he felt when I did the same for him whilst he was playing but I couldn't think about it for too long as the show had to go on. 

"I have one last song for you all I'm sure you can guess which one it is but before I start I want to thank a special someone who's actually here watching me today" I said 

"Pablo thank you for believing in me every step of the way if you hadn't of convinced me to give singing a try there is no way I'd be stood here today I owe all of this to you so thank you for helping me achieve my dream" I continued 

As I performed my last song I kept my eyes on Pablo who had tears in his eyes which were obvious even from a distance. This song was one of the first ones I ever wrote and it has always been his favourite of mine so it was only right to dedicate it to him and sing it as if we were the only people mind the room. The whole night had been magical but this moment made me feel like I was dreaming I could faintly hear the crowd in the background as I rounded up this amazing experience by sending a kiss to Pablo who sent one right back. Before leaving the stage I thanked everyone for coming and thanked the small team I had helping me as they deserve some of the recognition too. 

Once I got off stage and back to my dressing room all of the adrenaline left my body and suddenly I was exhausted but also all of the emotions caught up with me and nothing could wipe the smile off my face. The fact that I'd just done my first concert finally sunk in and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride in myself this is such a big occasion and could mark the start of a whole new life for me especially as I leave tomorrow for my next show in Madrid. After a few minutes of alone time there was a knock on my dressing room door so I went to open it thinking it might be my manager coming to check on me but instead I was greeted by Pablo and everyone else who came holding bouquets of flowers. There was so many flowers that once they were handed to me I couldn't see anything so I had to put them all down in the small sofa in the room. I thanked all the guys for coming and for the flowers and they all congratulated me on my performance before they all left so that I could be with Pablo. It only took a matter of seconds before Pablo smashed his lips onto mine. 

"You were so amazing out there" he said giving me a kiss in between each word 

"Thank you it felt amazing I've never felt such a rush in my life" I said 

"I knew you'd have the best time" he smiled 

"Also you didn't have to say all that about me this is your success all I did was steer you in the right direction" he said 

"I know but you've supported me whenever I wanted to give up and you posting with my songs has helped me a lot I really do owe you a lot because I wouldn't be here without you" I said 

"Thats sweet of you to say but I think you were destined for this life I'm glad I get to be a part of it and see you live your dream" he said 

"You're going to make me cry" I laughed 

"Don't cry my love just be happy you achieved a big thing today you should be smiling and so proud of yourself" he said 

We stayed at the venue for a bit longer before Pablo drove me back to his place so we could spend the night together. Along the way he got me to order whatever food I wanted for dinner was I hadn't eaten since lunch and was starving. We spent the night watching movies together on the sofa eating a lot of food all of which Pablo shouldn't have but he told me it was fine as it was a special day which only made the smile on my face bigger if that was even possible. 

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi #gavi oneshots #gavi x reader #pablo gavi #football imagine

[sakurabutterflyart]

Without you (Delta Dawn x John Dory 🧡💙)

(ART/IG: @/ burntzbread) [note: hope you don't mind me using you art as reference, I'll take it down if you don't, it's sorta my inspiration while writing this TT]

(WARNING: English is not my first language)

The trolls in the Country Village, Lonesome Flats. Have known Mayor Delta and John Dory's relationship for a year now. No they weren't dating, they're just close, really close. But they can tell that they really like each other, it annoys them why neither one of them confesses yet.

Though not many country trolls really like John Dory. Cause first of all, he's a pop troll, some of his songs made them sick, he's too loud and even too touchy. Most of all, they worried that it might affect their beloved Mayor and Sheriff from his contagious pop troll nature, that'll affect their village as well.

So yeah, nobody really like nor accept John Dory living in Lonesome Flats... or so they thought.

One day, the rumour of John Dory leaving was spread throughout town. Some rejoices while some really misses him, since he has been a very kind and helpful pop troll to them.

Delta was aware that her friend was part of a band, which is his brothers. JD decided to pay his brothers for a visit, cause its almost been a year since the last time he saw them after saving Floyd. Which means that he has to leave from the country village for a week or 2, leaving everything behind here, that includes Delta.

"Are you gonna be okay while I'm gone?" The turquoise-haired troll asked and held her hand, while carrying both his belongings at his back and holding Rhonda's keys to his other palm. Worried about leaving her behind.

"Pfft! I'll be fine sweetie, you're being so dramatic. I'm a grown lady." The red haired lady scoffed. "You go spend time with your brother, you've already helped us long enough here. Go have a vacation to your real home, dear."

Even though she said that, JD knows that she's not gonna be. For the past few months he knew her. Delta may seem like she's a very tough fiesty mayor that kept everyone safe. He can tell that she's lonely, feeling the pressure of holding responsibility for everyone... much like himself for his family...

The man grabbed her warm hands, caressing in reassurance with an anxious expression on his face "Look, I promise... I'll visit as soon as I can to check on you and everyone... then, we'll go on a date! "

The lady snicker at his sudden silliness, breaking the heavy tension  between them. As expected from him, he always know how to cheer her up... that's what she loves about him....

"Hah, darling, I've already taken care of this village for the past what? 10 years? I can handle your disappearance for another 2 weeks, maybe even a year. And for the last time!  Im NOT going on a date with you! " She joked, giving him an evil smirk. Making him play along again, by acting like someone just stabbed his heart.

"Owww my lady that hurts." He giggled,  making Delta's heart felt a little lighter from joy.

JD turned around, about to enter into Rhonda, but then she saw him turn around,  hesitating to do something. 

Before she could even respond,  she was caught by surprise when JD charged at her with a smirk. He suddenly lifted her up with a hug... like, man! He's so strong! (Or did he secretly work out for this moment hehe) After a few moments of embracing her, he placed her down. But little did Delta know that's not his only surprising gesture.  He rested his lips on her cheeks, embracing this moment he gets to have.

JD immediately run to Rhonda and shut the door before Delta could even hit him with her horse shoes. She blushed deep shades of red, very flustered of what he just did.

"Mr. JOHN DORY!  Don't expect a warm welcome once you've come back!  You're gonna be kissing my fist when you returned!" She yelled, actually out of embarrassment.

"Can't wait honey!" He winked, as he sped up Rhonda so she won't be able to chase him to the driver's seats windows.

And with that... JD just disappeared out of thin air. Like how it was before... it suddenly got... quiet . She thought,  holding the light pressure of JD's lips on her cheek. With a sad expression that everyone in Lonesome Flats noticed... she was missing him already...

Delta turned around and saw that everyone staring at her, "What are you guys doing?  Get back to work!"

She scolded,  that everyone got scared and immediately mind their own business.

TIMESKIP

After JDs disappearance. The country trolls went on their usual routine. That includes Delta Dawn's job as Mayor and Sheriff.

Of course it wasn't the same without John Dory. Hanging around with the guys while playing pop-country songs together with their guitar and helping her around while also cracking jokes to make it more fun.  She find it annoying back then, but she never would've thought she was starting to look for it. Now it was quiet, having lunch alone in her office.

When she came home, she saw Clamper looking a little down while doing her homework. It was an unusual sight,  since whenever she came home she immediately runs to JD to get some upsies,  while he plays along and playfully toss her to the air. Now she just gave her aunt a joyful smile and hug "Hey Aunt Delta, welcome home! "

"Hey my sweet baby, ya hungry?"

"Yes ma'am!" She exclaimed, wanting to light up the mood.

Days went on, work, stress here and there.  The usual routine of going to work, checking up the town, and going home to take care of her niece, repeat for the past week. Then it gets more busy that the country trolls started to notice more changes from Delta ever since the blue haired pop troll disappeared.

Before he came to their lives, Delta was already doing just fine, being a workaholic,  while singing songs in her free time about being "Born to Die" , her life feeling like a routine.

When  that pop troll came, the women who seems to be nothing but work become more and more lively.  They keep seeing her smile and even laugh, being more in the moment. That even her songs becomes a bit more lively. She's even more softer than her tough personality that everyone feared whenever she gets angry,  VERY angry with her temper...

Which is actually...  happening when he left. But worse.

"The Delta Dawn" before John Dory, was back . Not only was she back from being a workaholic, even her temper that everyone feared returned. Another few days has passed, especially when the Country Trolls became busy for an upcoming busy event, she's becoming more stressed and hot headed.

Everybody knows that Delta is just being leader, that she has to be tough for her people to listen, without any bad intention of hurting them. In fact everybody knows she's kind and sweet deep down. But her toughness can get scary that her workers won't be in peace when she is angry.

"Hey I told you to clean this area!"

"Why are the bathrooms sink not fixed yet?!"

"The thieves did what?! Where are they?!"

"I didn't waste the village's finances for it to be nothing! Where's the thing i asked for?!"

Eventually Delta realised her roughness towards her village for the past few days and apologises.

Though everyone was starting to worry about her, despite the fact she apologises. The red haired trolls aura is becoming more scary for them to approach their leader.

"Oh goodness!  Our dear Sheriff has been so stress lately!" A villager spoke,  trying to be quiet so she won't hear them.

"She really needs to rest. She's overexerting herself "

"I can't believe I'm saying this, where is that Pop dude she's always around with?!" A guy asked

"That weirdo?  He came home to visit his bros to the pop village. "

"Well dangitty-doodly! We really need this dude back here if we don't want her to explode at us, especially on tomorrow's very special day!"

And with that,  the country trolls are now starting to look for JD's presence. His their only hope for Delta to calm down.

The day came, everything is going really well with the event. The decorations are aesthetically decorated, music played softly and beautifully,  couples dancing around , giving flowers here and there whether they're friends,  family and lovers...  Yes, it's Valentine's Day.

Everyone is having a great time, Delta? She is, she recieve flowers from Clampers and from her villagers, thanking her for all the hardwork she has done, which made her feel a little better.

She wasn't suppose to go out for Valentine's Day,  she even made sure that everything's finish yesterday.  The lights, the heart shape sweets,  the roses and the music. Everything was done,  even her  own people doesn't mind her resting for this event. But as the Mayor, she was needed. She needs to do the speech of the opening event and gets called out whenever there's an emergency. Unfortunately for her, this year's Valentine's Day is torture for her.

TIMESKIP

It's late evening, the Sheriff finally lays down in her office's coach out of exhaustion.  Finally gets to get away from all of those romantic couples cuddling in public and also some quarrelling between lovers or friends. It was very exhausting.  Thankfully the day is finally over. Being Mayor and Sheriff is tiring,  but it was all worth it to see everyone having a great time.

She sigh, decided to get up and grab some wine that she received. Enjoying the peace and breeze of the night, admiring the lights of her village. She felt a hint of sadness in her chest, as she grabbed some roses, loving the scent, absent-mindedly pluck each petals and let some fall from her window.

"Why do you have to leave? ... in such a very special day... John Dory..." She whispered.  Finally admitting that she misses him. Secretly missing his company, his jokes, his romantic gestures, his cheesy romantic songs and even simply his comforting words whenever she felt the stress of being a leader.

Since when did she gets so attach to him? That life's never been the same without him.

"Why? Do you really wanted me to kiss your fist so badly?" She almost choke at the wine she drunk when she heard a very familiar voice that she haven't heard for 2 weeks.

He was not in her room, she looks around and then spotted a turquoise-haired troll at the side of her window, climbing at the walls with a wide teasing grin on his face that she knows too well. "Hey Ms. Mayor, looking like a hottie as always... Miss me?"

He flirted, internally laughing at her reaction. Though he can't help but lovingly admired her, even by just her presence. "But seriously Delta... you're looking beautiful as always... I miss you..."

She was stunned that she can't say anything but stare, when he finally came in through the window. The silence made John Dory a little scared. Is she mad that he returned late? Or from what he had done from the last time they saw each other?!

"Delta... I'm sorry, my brothers and I have a little bit of an issue back in Pop village and-"

He wasn't able to finish it, when he felt arms went around him, embracing him tightly. The red-haired troll hid her face through his chest, holding him close.

"I thought you weren't coming back..." She spoke up. John was stunned as realization hit him.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm coming back, I promise didn't I? Not even in this special day... with my favorite lady here, I'm sorry im a bit late..." He was trying to get her to look up, but she doesn't want to,  but just glued herself to his chest, refusing to show her face of which he understood.

Instead, he just caresses the locks of her and returned her embrace, staying quiet for a few minutes and enjoying the peaceful silence they have together.

When they finally let go, Delta immediately wipe her tears and started to act like she never cried at all. JD just pretended that he never saw her puffy eyes and just smiled, that he finally gets to see her again.

"Here... Happy Valentine's day."  He grabbed a rose from the bouquet he was bringing, then pluck the stem along with its thorns, to place the lovely red rose to behind her ears. While giving her the rest of the bouquet.

With that,  they enjoyed the rest of the evening catching up, as they stargaze and loving the view of the village. Drinking some wine and sweets, with romantic country music playing outside.

The Sheriff felt all the heaviness in her chest was lifted and was refreshed by the peace, simply by having his partner by her side.

Yes, this is got to be her most favorite Valentine's Day night...

BONUS: The next day? Yep! The country village was overjoyed of JDs return, dramatically begging him to not leave, and shockingly even ask him to marry the red-haired troll. Which leave the pop troll REALLY confused of their sudden clinginess.

"Umm did I miss something?..."

---

(Thanks for reading!  Please leave a LIKE and a COMMENT and REBLOG, to support this fanfic and if you guys want MORE of this!

and advance Happy Valentine's Day!^^)

#dawndory #delta dawn trolls #delta dawn x john dory #deltadory #dreamworks #john dory trolls #john dory x delta dawn #trolls band together #trolls world tour

[ftm-radio]

My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

#ftm radio #peep below the cut for rambles about hrt developments! #⚠️ obligatory tmi warning but nothing too detailed! #transgender #trans #transsexual #trans masculine #ftm #trans man #trans guy #nonbinary #nonbinary trans man #nonbinary man #nonbinary guy #nonbinary trans guy #hrt #hormone replacement therapy #testosterone #ftm hrt #testosterone gel #testosterone update #bigender #bigender man #trans masc #transgender positivity #ftm positivity

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Nice To Meet You - Guys Like You | Part I

an interactive top gun fic series! with a poll waiting for you at the end!

summary: Nat introduces you to the squad for the very first time. You expected a lot, but certainly not two of the most drop-dead gorgeous men ever to flirt with you.

6k only a tw for alcohol ig? otherwise just simping. on every and all ends.

guys like you masterlist | top gun masterlist

Nat's keys clanging onto the living room table should have been your first hint that something was not going to be normal about this evening. That she appeared in your doorway instead of vanishing into the shower next was an absolute red flag.

"We're going out tonight", she announced, not a trace of a smile on her face. You turned off your phone with a sigh and propped your head up on your pillow.

"Gee, not even a 'hello' or 'how are you' today, hm?", you asked.

"You need to go out", she went on, completely brushing over your interruption. She was dead-set on giving you a speech, you could tell. She was still sweaty, her hair slicked back, her flight-suit zipped up, but she was looking at you as though she hadn't just been through hours upon hours of what you'd probably call torture. "You've been just sitting in this room for the past two weeks and I can't stand it anymore."

You sat up with another sigh, tugging at your oversized, sauce-stained shirt that you were suddenly much too aware of.

"Nat, please, I need to get settled first."

"You settled a week ago."

She wasn't taking any bullshit today. She had let you off the hook too many times already, up until now swayed by your half-assed arguments of why you were hiding in your bedroom. "You're going out with us tonight."

"Us?", you asked, dreading the answer. Nat didn't have any friends outside of work here.

"Me and the squad", she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say.

"No", you laughed. "No, definitely not."

She frowned, finally moving out of the doorway and settling at the foot of your bed instead. At least it felt more like an eye-to-eye conversation now.

"It's just the squad", she shrugged.

"Just the squad?", you asked. "Just the squad? Nat, those people fly multi-million-dollar aircrafts on a daily basis, they're all ripped as hell and make thrice the money I made back in San Fran. I don't even have a job."

"First of all, you've applied for jobs, it takes time", she reasoned. (Sometimes you could have slapped her for her rationalism.) "Also I'm one of those people and my job never bothered you before."

You stared at her like she'd gone mad. How could she not get this? Yes, they were normal to her, they were her colleagues, her friends, but to you? Um, hello?

"Yeah, because I have pictures of you pooping your diapers", you said, exasperation lacing your tone. "I've known you for as long as I can remember. Those people have never met me. And I don't need them to meet me at my worst."

Even though she'd been dead-set on getting you out of this apartment, she still softened a little at that.

"You're not at your worst anymore", she reassured, smiling at you. "You're beyond that. You're starting a new life now."

"Still", you snorted. "I'm a nobody compared to you guys."

"God, don't say that!", she groaned, reaching over to squeeze your hand. "That kind of thinking is exactly why you need to get out of here for a few hours. You're coming with me, I don't care what you have to say about it. We leave at eight, we'll get takeout on the way and I promise that if you're not feeling any better by midnight, we'll go home."

You knew that you couldn't argue with her. She was determined to get you out of this apartment and even if you didn't agree, she'd drag you out screaming. She'd have no problem either - she was way stronger than you.

"I hate you", you mumbled, no real malice behind the words. She just grinned and got up to stretch.

"Great", she chuckled. "I'm gonna go shower and then get ready. If you're not done by eight I'm carrying you into the car myself, I don't care."

You just grabbed a lonesome sock from the bed and threw it at her as she turned and walked out, leaving you to yourself, your own thoughts and the realisation that you actually had to meet all those high-maintenance people. It took two seconds before you were tearing open your closet and dragging your shirt over your head. You had barely one and a half hours left to get ready and lord help you if you weren't finished on time.

...

You were buzzing with so much nervous energy when you got in the Uber that you felt like you were about to mutate into a bee. You couldn't imagine that would be any worse than what was about to happen anyway. Honestly, you'd been dreading meeting Nat's friends for months now, but it had got much, much worse when you'd moved out to San Diego. Because it had become a very real possibility. And today, well, today seemed to be the day that all those fears that had been festering for weeks and weeks would truly become reality.

You spent the entire car ride staring out of the window, thinking about how they'd surely all sneer at you, look at you with that expression just in between pity and arrogance that somehow all rich people wore. Maybe there'd be one or two decent people. Hopefully there would. Nat wasn't usually friends with absolute dickheads, but then again even back in highschool she'd got along with most of those popular jocks that wouldn't have looked twice at you. To be fair, she'd thrown some punches here and there, but you'd still rather keep to yourself than meet a bunch of snobs. At least you knew that Nat would be with you and that she wouldn't break her promise - if you weren't enjoying yourself, she'd take you back home dead on twelve.

You let out a last sigh when the car stopped, climbing out of your seat as slowly as you could while Nat paid, trying desperately to stall for as long as you possibly could. But she tutted at you and tucked her arm into yours, dragging you with her through the parking lot and over the threshold.

It didn't take long for you to realise that this was a navy bar. There were very, very few people in civilian clothes - in normal ones, you'd say - most of them were clad in uniforms. You could have rolled your eyes at that alone. Why were navy men always so goddamn eager to show off that they were navy? They couldn't seriously think anyone was going to throw themselves at them just because of their fucking uniforms. You'd much rather keep a very safe distance away from any and all navy guys - a radius of at least two miles.

"There they are", Phoenix said, a grin playing on her lips as she pointed at the corner with the pool tables. You internally braced yourself, taking another deep breath before you even dared to look where she was pointing, clutching the little purse you'd slung over your shoulder to ground you.

The bar wasn't particularly crowded yet and you could make out a group of people - not in uniform, thank god - huddled around both of the pool tables. As far as you could see, there was only one other woman. Of course. You should've guessed that Nat was flying with a bunch of testosterone monsters.

You hadn't expected much else, of course... but it still made you hyper-aware of the dress you'd picked out.

Nat whistled and let go of you when you got close enough to the squad (your skin was practically burning up and you were seriously considering turning around and making a run for it, but you'd never been too good at running and were much to scared to face-plant on the floor). The guys turned around like dogs, answering to her whistle and nothing more, and way too many pairs of eyes landed on you in the span of a single second.

"Alright?", Nat grinned, shoving you a little step in front of her. It wasn't like you were shy. You really weren't. Maybe you weren't exactly extroverted, but you certainly weren't shy. Usually. So you couldn't even be mad at her for forcing you to come out of your shell like this. "I'd like to introduce you idiots to my roommate."

One of the guys put his pool cue down and immediately your focus switched to him. You had to admit that for a moment there you forgot how to breathe. He was tall and he was blond and he had strikingly green eyes and broad shoulders and that button-up was really doing things for you. You'd expected Nat's friends to be talented and rich, sure, but not that goddamn handsome.

"You never told us your roommate's stunning", he drawled, all Texan accent dripping from his words like molten honey and sticking to your brain, and his grin almost sent you careening straight into his arms. You needed longer than you should've to really process his words, only realising that oh god, had he just called you stunning? when Nat was already rolling her eyes.

"Do not, Bagman", she hissed, "flirt with her or I will end you."

Bagman only chuckled at that and strode towards you, holding out his hand and luckily you had enough braincells left to grasp it. Normal, you told yourself. Totally normal greeting. You did your best to ignore the heat in your cheeks and the way his fingers felt.

"Hangman", he introduced himself, that award-winning grin still on his lips. "But you can call me Jake."

He winked, completely brushing over Nat's threat. She slapped the back of his head and he finally pulled his hand from yours as you stuttered out your name.

"What did I just say", Nat seethed, practically dragging him away from you. He just shrugged and chuckled to himself.

"Can't help myself around beautiful ladies, I'm afraid."

She slapped him another time for that and he brought his hand to his hair to rub over the spot that you were sure must already have been sore. Nat had a wicked right hook.

"Keep it in your pants, Bagman", she threatened again, then turned back to you. "Alright, now that the worst is over, I'll introduce you to the others."

She spun to stand next to you, eyes narrowing as she paused for a second. You could barely raise your eyebrows. All of this was so overwhelming. You'd expected everything from embarrassment to ridicule, but certainly not that anyone was about to flirt with you. And one gorgeous piece of human being as well.

But he probably did that with everyone.

He was navy, for gods sake! What were you thinking? Navy guys were toxic assholes that brought a new conquest home every night only to leave them unsatisfied and doing the walk of shame in the morning. You had enough troubles already, you really didn't need to add another man to the pile.

So you straightened and made yourself swear not to give Jake another second of acknowledgement.

Nat seemed to have finished her assessment of the group, whatever it had been, and she didn't look satisfied.

"Where's Bradshaw?", she asked.

"Probably doing what he does best", Jake sighed, snatching the pool cue up again and leaning over the table to take a shot. "Slow ridin'."

You had seriously no clue whatsoever how pool worked, but he straightened again with a self-satisfied expression and you guessed he must've done good, especially when his friend groaned. He caught your gaze and you snapped it away, cursing yourself for already fucking up on your promise. Nat huffed.

"He better have a convincing excuse", she muttered. "I thought I told everyone to make a good first impression."

Then she clapped her hands.

"Okay! Anyway. Next to Bagman, that's Coyote."

Coyote raised his beer at you and smiled. You gave him a little wave.

"Next to Coyote that's Fanboy and next to him that's Payback."

You waved at them too, laughing as Fanboy waved back with just a little too much vigor and as Payback threw you a sloppy salute. Nat turned to the other pool table.

"Over there that's Fritz, Yale, Harvard, Omaha and Halo."

She grinned, grabbed you by the shoulders and maneuvered you around, pointing at a man with big glasses on his nose, sitting in one of the few chairs that were facing the pool tables. He stopped popping nut mix into his mouth the second your eyes fell on him, his hand hovering uncertainly in mid-air.

"And that's", Nat said, almost prideful, "That's Bob."

"Ooh!", you keened, a little more confident that everybody seemed at least somewhat happy to see you and a little more excited now that you remembered a person from Nat's stories. "Backseater Bob?"

"That's me", Bob chuckled, red tinting his cheeks as he smiled, putting away the nut mix to wipe his hands off on his pants and reach one out to shake yours. You couldn't help but mirror his grin - his fingers were soft and he was gentle with you, a bit unlike Jake. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too", you nodded, already comfortable with him after all of two seconds. You understood now why Nat was so glad to have him as her backseater - he seemed like the complete opposite of the navy cliché that you despised so much.

Bob just smiled at you for a moment. His glasses made his eyes a little bigger than they probably were and honestly, you could see yourself getting along well with him. He seemed sweet and genuine and kind and you could feel your anxiety start to let go of you, start to slip away a bit.

"Oh", he let out and straightened. "D'you want something to drink?"

"She does", Nat interrupted before you could decline, as though she'd already known you would. She probably had, to be honest. She knew you well enough. "Would you get us two tequila shots and two mojitos?"

"Two tequila shots and two mojitos?", you laughed, turning around to her in surprise.

"I told you, you need to let loose", she grinned. "And we're letting loose tonight!"

"Oh yeah", you snorted, pushing her away by her shoulder as Bob got up and walked over to the bar. "Really letting loose apparently."

Nat only laughed and let herself flop down on one of the chairs, patting the seat next to her with Bob's nut mix on it. You grabbed it and sat down as well, brushing your hand down the front of your dress, smoothing it out.

You watched Nat's friends bustle about the pool tables. Watched Nat's squad as they talked and laughed. Watched Jake - just out of the corner of your eyes, really! - as he clapped Coyote on the back and you could've sworn that even though you really definitely weren't looking!!! his eyes were fixed on you. It had you fiddling with the straps of your dress.

"So?", Nat asked eventually, drawing your attention back to her. "They're not as bad as you thought, are they?"

Internally, you had to agree with her. Okay, maybe you'd been a little overdramatic. Maybe they weren't as bad. They didn't seem so. But also you'd known them for less than two minutes and you knew just how good people sometimes were at deceiving you.

"Give me a minute to get to know them and I'll tell you after", you smiled.

"That I can work with."

"Ladies", Jake's voice rang out, just before he stepped up right in front of you, leaving you practically no choice but to look up at him. He was grinning, the pool cue still in his hand. "You'll play a round, won't you?"

Nat shifted in her seat.

"Haven't got your ass kicked enough yet?", she asked.

"You know you couldn't kick my ass if you tried, Phee."

"We'll see about that."

She was up in a second, grabbing the cue from Jake and strolling over to the table as you watched her. You hadn't moved. You weren't about to.

That almost lazy kind of teasing they had going on reminded you of all those other people like Jake that she'd been friends with throughout her life. Not that you didn't make fun of each other - wasn't that practically the baseline of every friendship? But with them... You couldn't put your finger on it just now. It wasn't that they actually despised each other, you knew what Nat's hatred looked like and it wasn't this, and it certainly wasn't flirting either, you knew what Nat's type looked like and as handsome as you found Jake, he definitely wasn't it. Maybe it was just the combination of their personalities, maybe it was nothing at all. It was a bit like they still hadn't quite decided that they liked each other, even though they obviously did get on.

"What about you?", Jake asked and you blinked up at him in surprise. Sure, he'd addressed the both of you, but you'd kind of just assumed that he'd meant Nat.

"Uh, I don't play", you said carefully, still unsure if - and if, then why - he was talking to you. Hadn't Nat just agreed to play against him? Were two players not enough somehow? Was this like, a group game?

Jake raised his eyebrows.

"You don't play pool?", he asked, like he'd never met anybody who dared not play pool.

"No, I don't", you said, very slowly, as though that would somehow lessen the risk of miscommunication. "I don't know how to."

The corners of his lips tugged upwards at that, just slightly, like he wanted to hide his grin from you. Was he making fun of you? Honestly you couldn't even be mad at him if he was - you'd expected pretty much nothing else from the squad. But it did come as a bit of a surprise now that your impression of them all had so rapidly changed.

"Well we can't have that", Jake tutted, reaching out a hand again, hanging in mid-air as you looked at it sceptically. This whole situation was a little overwhelming. Or maybe it was just him that was a little overwhelming. "You're at a navy bar, Sunny. You have to know pool."

You glanced from his hand back up at his face and felt kind of daft with how much time your brain needed to process all this.

"Sunny?", you asked, because of all the questions that you had this was the easiest one to phrase. And maybe because it was the thing that had thrown you off track the most. Jake's grin only widened.

"Navy nature to give nicknames, darlin'", he chuckled while you realised that you'd still not taken his hand and that at this point it probably started being weird (and heavy) to hold his arm out like that. So despite your earlier promise, which, you had to admit, you'd already thrown out of the window a second after you'd made it, you acknowledged him very much. As carefully as you possibly could, you put your hand in his as he talked, and immediately he tightened his grip on you and helped you stand up. You were a little too close to him now, a little too close for good, and if Nat hadn't been occupied racking the pool balls she probably would have kicked Jake in the face. But he didn't seem to mind, only carried on talking, apparently not whatsoever surprised by the sudden close proximity or by how easily the pet names had slipped off his lips.

Sunny. Darlin'.

"And that's just a lovely dress", he went on, leaning in even closer, so close that for just a second you almost could have felt his breath on your ear. "I think yellow might be my new favourite colour."

He pulled back with a wink and then he was gone, just the weight of his hand resting in yours left as he led you to the pool table Nat was setting up. He let go of you the very moment she looked up, a smile on her lips, and your breath caught in your throat. Jake was playing a dangerous game and he was pulling you down with him.

He strolled around the table back to Coyote, who was still holding the other pool cue in his hands, and Nat took the few steps towards you, her smile dropping a bit.

"Bagman bother you?", she asked, genuinely a little worried.

"Nah", you said, a little shaky, and shook your head. "I'm fine."

It wasn't a real answer, but she let it slide, nodding as she watched Jake return with the second cue now.

"You just let me know if he does", she muttered and then there he was, too quick for you to respond.

Nat was usually protective. She always had been, and rightfully so. Always a little weary of guys you went on dates with, always a little weary of guys you brought home. You'd minded sometimes, like back in college when you'd had a crush on that guy from musical theatre and she had threatened so vividly to break his neck if he hurt you that he'd never talked to you again. But she had clearly been right about most of them and so you really should trust her, really, you should... and yet.

She was practically telling you to stay far away from Jake. She was doing it the other way around, for now, but you were sure she'd give you the whole speech tomorrow morning as well. And you'd just met this guy, it wasn't like you were head over heels in love with him, but he was charming and flirty and it was working on you.

He was just about to open his mouth and, you guessed, start explaining pool to you when Nat suddenly straightened.

"Bradshaw!", she called out, so loud that the whole bar must've heard her, and you turned to see what - who - she was looking at as if in reflex. The crowd nothing short of parted for him.

A ridiculous Hawaiian shirt on that caught your eye first, then those sunglasses - were that Ray Bans? Hadn't they got out of style like, a decade ago? - and then... Oh, and then.

"That's a pornstache", you said, quite dumbly, you had to admit, and Nat snorted. You turned to her and then back to him and even though you were still very much gaping, you were laughing now too. "Like, an actual 80s pornstache."

Pornstache had caught sight of his squad apparently and was making his way towards you and the closer he came, the less funny you felt about the whole situation.

Pornstache was attractive.

Maybe it was the hair. Maybe it was the swagger in his step, the fact that he was practically oozing confidence. Not that the others weren't, but he... well, you kinda couldn't look away from him as he approached. Maybe it was the moustache after all.

You hadn't ever met a man who could pull that off.

He shouldn't be allowed to either.

God, how was Nat working with all these gorgeous specimen? They should all be sued for looking like that. It was too much power in the hands of the navy.

Pornstache stopped short in front of you, a light grin on his lips, and someone - Jake perhaps? - let out a resigned breath.

"You're late", Nat said, crossing her arms like she always did when she didn't like something. His grin only widened.

"There needs to be someone fashionably late in every squadron", he chuckled, slipping off his sunglasses and hooking them into the collar of his shirt and if it had been up to you you'd have forced them back up on his nose because now you had to watch as he glanced from Nat to you and took you in. He was way too attractive to be eyeing you up like this.

Men like him didn't eye you up like this.

Especially not in yellow sundresses.

Not that the dress wasn't pretty. It was. And you weren't overdressed like you'd have been in the black one that you'd had hanging at your closet door too. But it was kind of weird to be standing in front of all these testosterone-y men in a cute little dress like that.

Though Jake seemed to have liked it.

God, first him and now Pornstache...

"Rooster", Pornstache said, reaching out a hand for you to shake. "Or Bradley. But you can call me whatever you want."

You could practically hear Nat rolling her eyes as you shook his hand, brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen into your face as heat rushed through your arm and straight to your cheeks.

"What is it with you guys tonight?", she sighed, uncrossing her arms and grabbing her pool cue instead. She turned back to the table that she'd finished setting up and nudged Jake away to take his place, apparently at her wits' end and done with the conversation. Pornstache - Bradley - wasn't.

No, he was still looking at you and you still couldn't look away.

"So you're Nat's new roommate, I assume?"

You couldn't help but admire the way his voice sounded. If it already had you melting like this within two minutes of meeting him, you didn't want to imagine how you'd react if you heard it in the morning. Or late at night. Or close to your ear. Or- Wow, you really needed to fucking stop.

"Yeah", you choked out and cleared your throat as embarrassment set in. You shouldn't be thinking about Nat's colleagues like this. You shouldn't be thinking about anyone like this. You needed a drink and to cool off. God, where was Bob with those tequila shots? "Yeah, Nat's new roommate."

Bradley nodded, that damned grin still on his lips.

"But you knew her before?"

"Yeah", you said again, a little steadier this time. "Yeah, I've known her my whole life."

You should stop saying 'yeah' that much. It was making you sound like that was the only word you knew. Yeah.

"Really?", he asked and raised his eyebrows, glancing at Nat who was now leaning over the pool table and taking her shot, totally concentrated. "She never told us, just said she was introducing us to a friend who's recently moved. If you've known her that long, she could've introduced us back at Top Gun."

"You went to Top Gun with her?", you asked, raising your eyebrows to look at Nat too. "She never told me."

"Seems like she didn't tell us much about each other", Bradley said and somehow, he seemed rather amused by it - his lip was quirking up and his moustache followed and you felt like that should rather be funny than attractive. Shame that it wasn't.

Before you could say anything more, Bob came back with a tray in his hands, balancing a bunch of glasses. He barely seemed to notice Bradley, too focused on not letting anything fall and shatter.

"Tequila or mojito first?", he asked. Nat straightened up and grabbed the two shot glasses from the tray.

"Tequila", she said, back to at least a half-grin. "Thanks, Bob."

She gave one to you and clinked them and the two of you downed your shots like you'd always done - one big sip in sync, heads thrown back and glasses practically touching your noses and laughs on your lips when you put them down again, with just a bit too much fervor on Bob's tray.

"Now the mojito", she chuckled, taking the cocktail glasses next and handing you one again.

"You ladies seem to be enjoying yourselves", Jake suddenly said, leaning against the pool table with that grin on his lips but somehow, it was tighter now and his voice was a little strained. Maybe it was the tequila just blurring up your senses for a moment. Maybe your perception was fucked.

"Have to", Nat grinned and winked at you. "After all you lot aren't any help."

Bradley and Jake started protesting like she had somehow insulted their honour, but she only laughed and turned back to the game, already taking a sip of the cocktail in her hand. You followed her example.

Bob carefully sat down the tray on one of the chairs and picked up the nut mix again. You couldn't help but smile. It was somehow endearing, the rest of them sipping beer and drinks and him just popping nut mix into his mouth like a grad student.

"So, Sunny", Jake said, suddenly so close again that you could smell his aftershave. "Your turn."

You glanced at the pool table and raised your eyebrows. You should probably say no, thanks, I can't play, goodbye and leave it be. Leave him be. Nat would probably prefer if you did. She'd probably prefer if you turned around and joined Bob and made friends with her backseater instead of let Bagman, like she so affectionately called him, teach you how to play pool. But he was an attractive man and you were only human and anyway, you imagined you'd have enough time left to talk to everybody else. So you looked up at him and his impossibly green eyes that you couldn't get over and took the cue out of his hands.

"Only if you teach me", you said, stopping short at the end to ponder if maybe, just maybe.... So you grinned and added "Bagman" and watched his face fall for a second as you pushed past him and tried to make sense of the pool table.

Alright, so there were nine balls in different colors and if you were right, you were supposed to push them into the pockets in the corners and at the sides. Right? But that couldn't be it. It couldn't be that easy.

Jake had apparently restarted his original train of thought and turned around to you, his chest almost - just almost - pressing into your shoulder.

"I was planning on teaching you, Sunny", he chuckled, straightened and turned a little more serious. "A'ight, it's actually quite easy once you got it. So we've got ten balls in total and your goal is to pocket the nine colored ones. But you're only allowed to strike the cueball, the white one. With me so far?"

"So far", you nodded. "So basically I have to like, hit all these other balls but just with the white one and not with the cue? And if I pocket the cueball then what happens?"

"That's a foul", he explained patiently. Honestly you hadn't expected he'd react so well to dumb questions. "If you pocket the cueball, your turn's over and the other player-"

He stopped short. You were just about to ask if he was alright when you heard it too.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

The music was gone. Completely gone. Someone had turned off the jukebox.

"Every fucking time", Jake muttered, running his hand over his face as you looked at him and frowned. You were missing something major here and honestly couldn't think of what. But then Nat put down her cue and her drink and maneuvered around Jake to pry your drink from your hand as well.

"You're gonna wanna see this", she chuckled, one of those rare, all-consuming grins on her lips and you could hardly do anything but stumble after her as she made her way through the crowd. You didn't think anything could have prepared you for the next five minutes.

Because okay, Bradley was sitting at the piano. Okay, Bradley could also play said piano. And okay, Bradley could sing as well. And just maybe he really wasn't bad. Maybe he was really, really good.

Maybe Nat thought the same because you hadn't seen her that carefree in a while. Maybe everyone did - almost everyone, at least, because almost everyone was laughing and singing along and having the time of their lives. Maybe you did too.

No, you definitely did too.

Bradley had popped his sunglasses back up on his nose and was clearly enjoying being the center of attention for a minute. And you couldn't help but be completely enamoured by it. By him. You couldn't help but laugh along with Nat and let her twirl you around and sing, too loud and probably much too off-key, and fall from Bob's arms into Fanboys and you really couldn't help but somehow feel like a part of the group.

And then the song was over and you were panting, your cheeks hurt from grinning and you had to brace your palm on the lid of the piano to not fall over.

Fanboy's arm was still wrapped around your shoulder somehow and you didn't know if you were leaning on him or if he was leaning on you, but it didn't really matter. You were glad now that you had chosen that summer dress - it was light and breezy and you didn't have to worry about sweating through skin-tight fabric or anything like that. No, you just had to sweep your hair out of your face and throw your head back and laugh.

And look at Bradley, maybe, whose eyes were twinkling with amusement. He looked straight out of a fever dream. His sunglasses lay abandoned on the piano lid - he had really pretty eyes. How had you not noticed before?

"Is this like a regular show you pull off?", you asked, a little breathless as Fanboy untangled himself from you, the conversation the rest of the squad was starting up now fading into background noise. You were running high on adrenaline, the tequila was finally hitting your system, the anxiety was fully disappearing and because spirits were so high, your confidence came crashing back into you like a huge wave of relief that had you collapsing on the piano bench right next to Bradley. "'Cuz it seemed like everyone was quite used to that."

He chuckled, turning his head so he could look at you. He was tall, you realised, really really tall, at least taller than you by a head and you didn't know if it was this apparent because you were suddenly sitting or just because you were suddenly so close to him. Not that you wanted to complain either way.

"Let's say it's not the first time", he smiled. You raised your eyebrows.

"i'll ignore that you're deflecting for now", you laughed, not quite caring that he was deflecting at all. (You were pretty sure you knew the answer anyway.) "And instead I'll say I'm impressed. I've always admired people that can play."

"Do you play?", he asked, genuinely interested, drawing his hands back from the piano as the jukebox started up again. You had to say you'd liked the live music a little better. A little a lot. After all, Bradley Bradshaw was a sight to behold.

"No", you said. "Not anymore. I played... Well, I kinda had lessons back when I was little, but my family- Yeah, no, I don't play."

You swallowed and he raised his eyebrows, but luckily didn't comment on your stuttering. You really didn't need to traumadump on people you'd met half an hour ago. If it had even been half an hour. (It probably hadn't.)

"I could teach you", he offered and maybe you were wrong, maybe you were stupid, maybe you were tispier than you'd thought but you could've sworn that just for a moment, he glanced down at your lips - but you probably were wrong and stupid and tispier than you'd thought.

"Slow Ride."

You looked up to see Jake leaning against the piano, a beer bottle in his hand and a forced grin on his lips, entirely focused on Bradley next to you.

"Bagman."

You glanced back and forth between them as they stared at each other in silence.

Maybe you shouldn't be here. This felt like you really should not be here. Were you missing something? You'd thought that the squad was like one big family. These two seemed more like they were about to rip each others throats out and you didn't know if you wanted to be in between them when it inevitably happened.

"So you're back in showbiz, I see", Jake chuckled, putting his beer down on the piano lid.

"Some people can actually make it there, whether you believe it or not", Bradley shot back, his eyebrows raised and his lips still twisted into that grin that you were pretty certain was an act in itself.

Jake let out a dry laugh.

"Maybe you should change career paths", he suggested. "Actually do make it somewhere."

"Maybe I should leave", you muttered, already halfway off the bench and on your way to down the mojito Nat had left on the pool table, just to get out of whatever this was. Even though whatever it was came closer than anything else had so far to what you'd expected, it threw you off track more than the rest had. You needed a minute. And you needed a drink.

"Don't worry", Bradley said, turning back to you after throwing a last glance at Jake. "Bagman's gonna go now."

"And leave the poor woman with you?", Jake chuckled, straightening up with a grin. His beer bottle clinged against the wood. "I don't think so."

Having the both of them stare at you had your skin crawling.

That confidence that you'd had earlier? Gone. The anxiety you'd thought you were done with? Back. Fun! Where was Nat to get you out of this? Where was Nat when you needed her? You should've listened to her and kept away. You should've sat down next to Bob and had a pleasant conversation, but no. No, you had to find the two troublemakers of the team and get right in between their little quarrel.

"I was about to teach the poor woman how to play piano", Bradley said, eyes still fixed on you.

"Really?", Jake asked. "Because I was about to teach her how to play pool."

He raised his eyebrows and Bradley did too and they were looking at you all silent like they expected you to say something now and oh god, what had you got yourself into?

Two of the most gorgeous men you'd ever seen - to your great dismay - who were friends, no, colleagues of Nat's, who flew multi-million-dollar aircrafts and spent their days saving the world, looking at you and flirting with you and... flirting with you.

Nat had been right, no matter how this would work out.

You'd really needed to get out of your bedroom.

...

So you've tripped and fallen right into a love triangle, it seems. What are you gonna do?

a/n: this somehow didn't really turn out the way i wanted but i dont mind? like, im quite happy with how it did turn out tbh!!!! and im so excited to finally publish this chapter ahhhhhhhh lets see what happens!

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LONG LIVE

Grumpy x Sunshine

Modern College AU

Characters:

Bucky Barnes (Reader's nickname for him: Wolfie)

Reader (No YN just using Bucky's given nickname: Petal, Others: Bear)

Warning: swear words (LANGUAGE), consensual touching, oozing sexual tension, fluff, Bucky Barnes, comfort, Idiots in Love. Please remind me if I forgot something. Thank you!

Author's Note: Reader is female, hair is shoulder length and eyes are brown, height is 5'2, no other description other than that.

AN2: English is not my first language, this fic is not beta, beware.

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I didn't know that a simple ceremony would be this complicated. It's been weeks of this repeating marching and sitting and we are still practicing the same flow of the events—Well mostly, it's the fault of the host because they keep changing their script for the ceremony and pronouncing certain names or whatnot.

    

First of all, it's summer already and the weather is furiously bothering me and this place is a hot mess. Bunch of sweaty people, too much noise, and on top of that we just have this gigantic ceiling fan that barely gives air and it gives me a major flashback to the final destination, making me think that this sharp fan circling above our heads will suddenly fall and slash our heads.

    "Bear"

   "Bear!" I felt my whole head palpitate caused by the scream directed to me while a tug somewhere in my left sleeve. I turned and saw Wanda grinning, her face so close could see her pupils dilated.

    "What the hell—" holding my hand to my chest and the other to stabilize myself from the clutch of hers. "I keep calling you but your head is out in the space again"

    "Well you sure do got my attention now," shaking my head then smiled at her. "What's up, buttercup?" I took her hands and moved her beside me when I saw an instructor doing rounds to the student seating in our area to check if someone was doing any misbehavior.

    She keeps on moving beside me, so I ask her again...and again.

    "Wands, what is it?"

    "Oh right, yeah about what I came here for—do you still remember the student we sent to our neighboring country for the linguistic program"

   I turned to her and gave her a bored look, "Are you high, Wanda?—Not sure,  maybe we know those people we spent like 10 years of our lives and just gone for like 2 months, what do you think?" sarcasm laced in my voice. I still feel hurt that they won't be able to join us for our graduation because even though they just spent like 2 months there, the university that took them made a mandatory inclusion that their official graduation will be with their school and not here in this hellhole. Well, lucky for them they not only avoid experiencing this extreme heat however shitty for me because I really miss them—especially wolfie.

    "Don't get cranky, bear. I know you're still salty for it but what I'm about to say will take all your bad juju away" my eyebrows raise as she keeps smiling at me weirdly. "Uhuh, is it? Do tell?" I told her while moving back my attention to the stage in front of us.

    "Well, I think some dog really missed their home and flew back here" my neck hurt a bit as I looked into her quickly. "What the fuck?! For real?!"

    "Yeah, your wolfie is here, but please pretend that you don't know- it's supposed to be a surprise for you" she took my hands and caressed it.

    "—but I can't help but say it to cheer you up with all the drama you experience being the only one who does your thesis yet your groupmates can graduate with flying colors because they mooch off you like a damn leech and still get full credits included in 2 major courses and have full grades."

    Her voice is now getting loud and full of huff, I move a little closer to her and give her a nudge to keep her voice low because she doesn't need to say it anymore the whole batch in our program already knows what the situation as I can be seen few months ago, solely defending the thesis and on the verge of breakdown when the instructors called my groupmates to talk to them in front of the students that day asking for the reason why I'm the only one who did all the work when they assigned it as groupwork.

    "I still can't believe our instructors didn't allow you to drop them because it's not they are lazy they just don't have brain cells to use."

    "I know, I know—it's really fucked up but it's done, at least I'm still able to keep myself included in the High Honor Awardee"

    "At least?! you, girl, deserve to be seated here with us in Highest Honor Awardee", Tasha, as we call her, she's the girl called Nat from another class who I got close to a few months before wolfie left, she almost shouted after swearing one after another. I put my pointy finger in front of me signaling her to keep her voice down as I hear a brief grunt coming from one of the instructors monitoring walking past me.

    "It's not that I do not deserve to be there but I know I had moments that I wasn't able to perform well because of my fault too, maybe I got distracted, and with all the other stress and I shouldn't have put all the blame to them, okay?" I gave them a small smile to appease them for a bit.

    A loud echo coming from several taps on a microphone done by the host of the ceremony took all of our attention. The rehearsal begins again—and again. I keep singing the songs we are required to do, it's been 17 minutes but I feel I've just done it for an hour already, my throat is getting dry and scratchy added to the heat that even the fan beside our seats cannot even subdue with thousands of students cramp into this average size covered court. I groan and aggressively wave my hand towards me creating a little blow of air.

    Repeated pulls in my hair startled me and I quickly turned around to look for the impertinent creature who tried to mess with me. My hands prepared to hit their annoying ass when I heard a familiar voice, "Getting hot in their, petal?"

    His blue eyes, I often wonder why those blue eyes gave me this different comfort I've never had with someone. I tried my best to scour my brain and think how I managed to befriend him but all I can remember is during one of our group activities when we needed to shoot a video, I was the assigned writer and he was in the creatives, with all the tauntings, bickering, and jabs directed to each other something just blossom there—I think?

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"Your mind has been wandering for like a millennium, are you imagining some crude scenes again from your smutty books?", I can feel his breathing closely into my face. I felt my cheeks heat and sneer at him.

"I'm not!"

"You did really enjoy those books I gave you, with all the vivid covers that match the insides of it, even the priest will blush and call for all the saints when they read the content of it

"Well, I didn't know you have a great taste when it comes to those books, especially with all the tension in it. I didn't think of you as someone who enjoys stories pulling the hair of someone they like and then kisses them after", my stomach grumbled before he could even bicker back. I felt my head being patted gently, unsure of what I just felt.

"Hey, Wanda just fix my hair" my lips immediately contorted into a pout. I look sideways to focus my attention on him more when an abrupt loud noise cuts in.

NEXT BATCH YOU CAN NOW ENTER THE COVERED COURT, THE REST WHO ARE HERE RIGHT NOW CAN TAKE A SHORT BREAK

Before I can even register what has been announced I am already being escorted into the exit and side of the covered court.

"Do you have food with you? I'm getting hungry and the line is already long when we get there. Lemme chat with Wanda or Nat, maybe they already found a seat in the cafeteria, or maybe they have gone outside and already bought something" I took m phone out of my pocket and started to construct my message using my notes before sending it to them.

"I still wonder why you do that, you know"

"What do you mean?"

"That, you often write messages into your notes first before sending them", his face is now close to the phone I'm holding as he leans towards me.

"Well, I do— I feel like it's more comfortable to write here first so before sending I can check first if there's something wrong and if there is I wouldn't have accidentally sent it even if my phone suddenly froze up or I just accidentally touch sent because there's no sent button here in notes. Like I can edit it first and construct a proper message and rethink it before sending." my eyes already left my phone while I was explaining it to him and now gazing at the hallway.

"Did you have fun while I was gone?", my attention drifted back to him and I saw him looking directly at my eyes with his blues for the second time.

"Fun you say, I just felt like I got beat up by a thousand men simultaneously with all the stress and pain I felt—", I look into his eyes before continuing "—although Nat introduced me to her friend back from her hometown, he's quite a charmer", we started to take a walk towards the small hut situated outside the library, taking a rest and the breeze coming from the tree soothes the extreme heat, while we were seating I thought of breaking the silence that surrounds us however Bucky beats me first, "Tell me more what happen while I was gone?"

I saw him getting food out of his sling bag with my favorite drink, my attention quickly drew back to the food presented to me before I could even hold my hand out, he waved it first in front of my face before drawing it back. Gaining my attention, he repeated himself, "What is it huh?"

I took a sigh and gave him a quipped smile, "Seriously? I mean Steve might have already told you everything, you've been in contact since you went to another country for an exchange student program, anything you wanna know he might have told you already"

"I mean I'm just curious what can happen as you see it through your eyes, you know Steve, he likes to censor a lot of things, our man can't even swear without blushing," he said while finally handing out the food he has been holding. Silence surrounds us again as I indulge myself with a deluxe treat. "Heyy, don't just eat the food I brought you, I missed your knucklehead you know and you are just acting like I just grown two heads and we don't know each other"

I took a bite before looking at him again, he nudged my arm while I continued to swing my feet as I ate, "Do you miss me, petal? Because I do"

He finally said the words I've been wanting to hear to come out from his mouth, "You really miss me? dude, don't know if you're kidding me right now" I glared at him, maybe he might still realize what have he done before I spilled all of it to him.

"I do, I really miss you, petal. Do you miss your wolfie?" I felt a gentle squeeze in my thighs.

"Let me think—" I put the food on the table in front of me and faced sideways to him, I put my fingers to my temple and acted like I was thinking.

I gave him a sweet smile before answering "I think—No" I said and picked up my food again to start to eat, before I could feel the savory taste of the cheeseburger he bought for me, I felt a cold hand touch my arm stopping me. My movements stalled and I quickly closed my mouth as I scrunched my nose for his insolence to stop me from eating a delicacy. Like who in their right mind would stop a woman and her food. He just went to another country and charmed multiple beautiful women and now he has this audacity, would I allow it—HECK NO.

"Hey! Don't roll your eyes on me" he took my food out of my hand and set it down himself. Now he's just asking for a beating.

"Why do you even want to hear my answer" before he could even answer I muttered in a scratchy voice abruptly "Heck, why are you even asking me that now, you didn't reply to my messages when I was trying to talk to you8 while you were there. You are busy parading yourself out of the country and you talk to our friends except me, so excuse me—you are getting on my nerves. One more interruption while I am eating, I will not think twice to swing my arm to your fucking face, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am" his voice laced with a smirk as I continued to glare at him. A few moments later after I finished eating and now just passing the time by looking at the other students walking back to the covered court. Bucky is now facing my back and his hands are now caressing my hair I can even feel how he twists each strand, braiding it, I think.

He knows how to make me weak, he brought me food and now he is braiding my hair just like before he left me, I will not be able to keep my facade if he continues acting like this. I know to myself that I need to be strong because parting with him is inevitable.

    "I just noticed something, my petal" he broke the silence as he continued to play with my hair, and I hummed asking him to continue. "—where did you hear that I'm parading myself out of the country? like do you— I mean are you jealous?"

    I can feel the chills that just run down my spine, "What do you mean jealous?! Of your knucklehead? Freaking NO" I quickly faced him and for the second time today I can see from his eyes flashes of thoughts running while still unable to comprehend what he was trying to say. Before he could even answer, I heard Wanda's loud voice telling us to go back inside and Sam's yelling to wait for him.

    "Let's continue this conversation later, okay petal?" when he didn't hear my answer he gave my hand a few tugs, "Yeah—okay" I whispered before Wanda whisked me away from him.

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AN: This would be double posted to my AO3 account, @nash_dara, should I continue and make a part 2 or we can just let our imagination end this? Thank you for reading, love lots!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes #marvel #bucky barnes x y/n #mcu #nash dara #nash dara library #Spotify

[saltygilmores]

DANCE MARATHON EPISODE-PART 3

So I had seen this Charity Dance Marathon gimmick on an episode of the Golden Girls (an episode which aired in 1987) and I feel as if I’ve seen it on other shows as well. (fun fact I just learned this week: Gilmore Girls and Golden Girls both shared at least one writer). Were these ever real things or is this just a gimmick made up for sitcoms? Are there real people out there shaking their moneymakers til they drop? Who can actually dance for 24 hours with only minimal breaks? It seems incredibly uncomfortable. See also: Charity bachelor auctions (Seen this gimmick on The Golden Girls again, and The Simpsons). Stars Hollow could never auction off a date with a hunky bachelor because Miss Patty keeps all the eligible single men and teenage boys chained up in her basement. I may have to do some research on these phenomenons.

I already can't stop saying Shug and Shuggy and Shugar at random intervals after seeing Land of Bad yesterday, and Babette is not helping, lol. Maybe on a different timeline, she was Shug's Momma (actually...maybe I shouldn't wish that for dear Babette).

I just want to point out the sign in the background reading: "All students riding a school bus home after school must wait in the gym." Who is so far away they're taking a bus to school in Stars Hollow? Stars Hollow is like four feet long. Maybe there are so few teenagers in The Hollow they have to consolidate with other districts and bus in students from other towns, like seat fillers. Those poor kids, deprived of an education like that.

Everything reminds me of Captain John "Sugar/Shug" Sweet. Sookie informs Lorelai that under duress, she reluctantly agreed to her husband's "four in four" plan (four kids in four years, what is she, a dog?) and now she can't back out or have a conversation with him about it so she has no choice but to lay down and accept his sperm, lest she cause any conflict in their newlywed marriage where things are still bright and shiny and they enjoy sniffing each other in the morning, or something like that.

Tell that to Liz Danes.

That's rich and creamy coming from Ms. "I Almost Married Max Medina Without Discussing Where We Were Going to Live".

This is a janky medical operation we've got going on here. Medical examinations being performed next to open containers of food, no gloves being worn by medical personel or kitchen staff, and massage therapists walking around wearing tshirts saying "Masseuse" on them, because it's important to establish who you're getting massaged by. If it doesn't say Masseuse on the shirt, you might end up getting a rubdown from an unsanctioned random weirdo.

Alexis's is sneering like, "I'm here working 14 hours day in the Los Angeles heat in a heavy coat with a bunch of DORKS when I could be home boinking MY NEW BOYFRIEND MILIO VENTIMIGLIA and touching his BIG WANG! But maybe we can sneak in a quickie behind craft services later"

Mrs Kim is the real star of this episode.

Oh hey Mrs. Stanley Appleman.

Kinky.

If you keep drinking all that coffee, you're going to turn into a Coffee. Or probably have back to back heart attacks.

The clock is ticking to Shane's imminent demise. Hopefully her collapse from excessive blood loss won't get in the way of the other dancers, because Jess is going to butcher her behind the school without any witnesses. He is home sharpening his axe. #MurderOnTheDanceFloor #BetterNotKillTheGroove How the hell did they rustle up 156 couples/ 312 people for this thang anyway?

I love Luke in this episode :)

Pretty rich and creamy coming from you, Miss No Car, No Job, No Pet, One Friend, Butthead Boyfriend, Goes Home From College Every Weekend to Visit Mommy. Kirk has a thousand careers, he will eventually have a pet and a girlfriend, and what reason would you need a car in The Hollow? Except to escape it. Kirk easily has the most interesting life in The Hollow, save for Miss Patty, maybe (who has the most interesting past). He seems pretty content with his life. I love that there's a "security" guard back there. I guess he was sleeping on the job when Shane's cries of agony rang out into the cold Connecticut sky.

Says Miss Lonely Pathetic Existence Also Attending The Same Marathon With Lonely Pathetic Mother And Every Other Lonely Pathetic citizen of the entire town.

YAYYYYY.

If Lane doesn't stop causing so much friction in Hep Alien, she might be replaced with this guy. I'm sure he will get paid equally as much drumming for a group of teenagers as he's currently getting paid to drum for a small town twerk-till-you-drop charity event.

Remember when swing music had a brief resurgence in the late 90s? Those were the days, oh some days they were. But since time stands still in The Hollow, they're actually still on the 1930's wave. This is too much fun and so cute and whimsical and joyous and what a wonderful episode it is. Can't even snark too hard about the dancing. Lowering snark cannons.

They're going to go home and have unbelievable amounts of sex.

You know who else is going to go home after the DM and have an unbelievable amount of sex? I'm sorry. You came to The Thing, Dean! You did the bare minimum! You paid your girlfriend and her mother an uninspired compliment! For that Lorelai will stare at you like a hungry dog salivating over the last scrap of meat on a bone.

#gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #Dance Marathon #tsgdt #they shoot gilmores dont they #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #kirk gleason #babette #sugar #shug #shuggy shug #gilmore girls season 3 #Shane is swan food

[familyvideostevie]

Ahhh I think you mainly write fluff but would you write more of that steve and reader fight?? Like maybe it's harder living together than they thought but then they're able to make up?

i really never intended to do this but i really loved the blurb where the fight happened! and a few of you did too, so here's a resolution <3 yay for communication! | 1.4k, fem!reader, angst to fluff

It's colder than you thought it would be. The jacket you grabbed on the way out is a welcome added layer of warmth and you think it might actually be Steve's since it smells like him. The fight is clear in your memory still, the worst one you've had since you moved in together only a month or so ago. The look on his face when he asked you if this was it, if things were going to be okay. His soft reminder to wear this stupid jacket.

You'd come home grumpy and could feel the same mood from Steve. But even still he'd had dinner almost ready and you'd eaten and the apartment had felt tense and when you asked if you could watch a movie together and he said he was too tired it just...well. It burst.

"We don't spend any time together, Steve," you'd grumbled.

"We fucking live together. We spend too much time together," he'd hurled at you as he washed a pan.

"Well, Jesus Christ, Steve. We've only been here for a month. Tell me how you really feel. Maybe I'll spend more time out!" You were yelling at this point, something you rarely ever did. But it felt like you couldn't find the words for what you really felt, so this would have to do.

"That's another problem, isn't it? I work all the damn time and am tired all the damn time and you work too much and we're just exhausted. I don't even know the last time we had a real conversation." He had rubbed his face over his hands and wouldn't look at you.

"Steve. I come home and I do laundry and I clean and when I'm home you're never home!"

It had devolved from there and you had to walk away before you said anything more hurtful than you already had. And now you're walking in the dark and it's cold and you want Steve to hold you, even if you're still a little mad at him. Because the argument was really about one thing: you miss each other but forgot how to say it. You forgot your watch so you don't know how long it's been but you know Steve will worry and probably come after you, so you turn around and head back to the apartment complex.

When you unlock the door you see he's left the entry light on for you. You hang up the jacket and toe off your shoes and sigh.

"I'm back," you call weakly. But there's no reply. A look into the kitchen yields no Steve but he's cleared both of your places -- you'd left yours behind -- and finished the dishes. You open the fridge and find that he's put what you didn't eat into a container. The fondness you always feel for him surges to the top, overtaking your frustration and fatigue for a few moments. This boy cleaned for you even though he was mad, told you to wear a jacket as you were walking away from him. This is life, you think. Fighting with the person you love most in the world because all you want to do is love him more and you're always scared it's not enough and yet here he is proving to you every single day that he's not going anywhere.

"Baby?" Steve calls. "You there? I'm in the bedroom." You shut the fridge and turn off the lights before padding down the hallway past photos of you both and the kids and the painting you bought at the thrift store last week because it looks like Hawkins and he keeps talking like he knows you'll come in eventually. Like magnets, your friends have always said. "If you want to keep, uh, fighting, can we do it tomorrow? I get that we need to talk but --"

You step into the bedroom as he's turning around, dressed for bed with a pillow in hand. He looks as lost and tired as you feel.

"What are you doing, Steve?"

"Oh," he says carefully. "I was...going to sleep on the couch."

Whatever fight that remains in you fades away. Now you just feel sad. "Do you want to sleep on the couch?"

"Well, no. But I don't know if we're gonna fix this tonight and I don't want to fight again and I thought maybe you might still be mad so--"

"I'm not mad anymore," you say quietly, leaning on the doorframe. "Are you mad?"

He doesn't answer. "Did you wear a jacket?" he asks instead. "It's cold out."

"Yeah," you murmur. "I wore one."

"Good." Steve nods, mostly to himself, and sighs. He chews on his bottom lip. God, you love him.

"Are you mad?" you ask again. He sits down on the bed with the pillow in his lap and looks up at you with guarded eyes. He looks remarkably young like this, like a boy who hasn't seen the worst of the world and come out the other side loving and kind. He just looks like a boy lost and in love.

"No. But I am sorry," he says. "For shouting. And cursing, and stuff. But I think...it was a real fight? That we need to talk about?"

You nod, pushing off the door frame to pad over the shag carpet towards him. "Yeah. I'm sorry, too. Can I sit next to you?"

"You don't need to ask," Steve scoffs. "C'mere." You settle into his side, pressed into him from knee to shoulder. He doesn't reach for your hands and you knot your fingers together to stop yourself from touching him because you really do need to talk about this and if you touch him...it'll be over too fast.

"So," you say. "I think what I was really trying to say is I love living with you but I feel like I'm missing you all the time." It's true. Living with Steve has been a dream come true -- waking up to him, bumping hips as you brush your teeth, folding his glasses on the bedside table and washing his socks and all of it. You love it.

"Me too," Steve says. "But I feel like all the time we spend together is here and we don't do anything else. I'm at work and you're at work and then we're just...here."

You've both been busy, that much is true. But he's right. You don't remember the last time you went on a date. "Okay," you say. "So we need to...get out more?"

"Let's try that," he nods, pressing himself even closer next to you. A hand reaches out to cup your knee and you sigh at the warmth. "I'm sorry," he says again. "I hate fighting with you. I know we're both a little too good at saying...harsh things."

"Well, I don't exactly have a good time either, Steve." You snake your hand under his sleep shirt and run it over the knotted skin of his back. He leans into the touch immedietly. "But one fight isn't going to undo this, okay? Us? We're fine."

He blows a raspberry. "I'm sorry, too," you say again, just to be sure he hears it. "Don't sleep on the couch tonight if you don't want to, please."

Steve looks at you, fringe falling into his tired eyes. "I love you," he says. "I should have said earlier. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do." You melt a little. He tells you every day when he swipes toothpaste from your lip, when he kisses you goodbye, when he calls you on your break, when he buys your favorite juice. When he tells you to wear a jacket even in the middle of a fight. If there's one thing you know, it's that Steve Harrington loves you. "I love you, Steve."

You lean in to kiss his cheek, the pillow pressing into your stomach. He blinks as you pull away.

"Wanna try that again?" he says, the beginnings of a smile on his face. It's the first one you've seen all evening and it fills you with warmth. So you decide to indulge him, leaning in again to kiss him properly. It's sweet, it's slow, it's I'm sorry and I love you and thank you for coming back and thank you for being here for me to come back to.

"God," he mumbles into your skin. "The couch is so uncomfortable. But I'd do it." I love you.

"I know, Steve," you say. I know.

tags: @cheerupbarry @srrybutno @97soroka @sunlitide @gloryofroses19 @carpediem1219 @themarvelousbee @sunshinehollandd @katsukis1wife @imherefortea @spideyboipete @lonelywidow @louderfortheback @actual-mom-steve-harrington @steveharringtonscarkeys @pennyllanne @ducky-is-dead-inside @ih3artcry1ng @escape-in-time-x

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#steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x y/n #steve harrington fanfic #emma's asks #anon ask