#I'm emotional over the little community that I get to participate in here

[turtlecleric]

.

#(huge relieved sigh) #I'm emotional over the little community that I get to participate in here #been on Tumblr over 10 years #been in multiple fandoms that I've made content for #and this is the first time I've experienced this level of interaction and community #first time I've had mutuals and had that actually mean something #I'm still terrified of unknowingly doing something rude or wrong or annoying (which is why I struggle so much to tag people) but #idk I'm starting to feel braver #I'm actually getting emotional thinking about it #sorry I'm just #maybe rereading symphony and noticing how lonely Violist-chan is has got me focused on how lonely I am too #and yeah it's not like I'm anyone's actual friend on here but just being able to interact and participate and be welcomed is... #idk #there's this gnawing ache in my chest all the time but this little community brings me sparks of joy that I haven't felt in a long time #sorry ignore me I'm just #i don't know #I'm trying to express my gratitude but I'm not doing a very good job #if anyone actually reads this just know I'm trying to say thank you for being nice and for letting me be feral over turtles with you #and i hope you're all having a good day

[batrachised]

and so we come to the end of Jane of Lantern Hill!

Before I get into the somewhat wincingly bad ending, I'd like to mull over my personal journey with the book out loud, because what is tumblr for if not for navel gazing.

It sounds odd, but for all I've read this book a thousand times before, I had actually never picked up on a lot of what the book club has discussed. I found this book at an age I don't remember, but it was young, and I was glued to it after that and reread it so many times with that first framing. If you had asked me to describe Lantern Hill before the book club, I would have immediately pointed to those chapters in the middle where Jane is thriving, happy with a dad who understands her, her foot on her native heath. In all honesty, I barely registered the existence of Robin. I had my problems with her, but was fairly neutral on her overall because to me the book was so entirely about Jane's experience on PEI. While I knew the book had this disparity between intent and execution in some places, they were in the places I never really looked at twice.

Reading this book so slowly this time around with so many different perspectives was very entertaining lol, most especially because there were so many wildly different opinions, and often on things I had never thought through deeply myself. Robin is the best example of that. And honestly, it's changed my love for the book-not in a way that dampens it, but in a way that gives me a new appreciation. I remember thinking of Jane as a very simple book when I read it over a decade ago for the first time; it's only now with the book club that I'm grasping how truly complex it, and its characters, are. In many ways, there aren't easy answers here.

In the end, I really like a line from a review I read the other day: this is a book whose heart does not lie in the ending. That reflects my personal reaction to the novel perfectly. To me, this book was always about Jane finding her spot on PEI, probably because of the age I first read it. Jane's adventures in homemaking are cozy and satisfying and heartwarming, and they made me want to have a little kitchen and struggle with donuts and learn how to garden.

That being said, the overarching plot and its sad clown honk of an ending can't be ignored. I actually think Robin and Andrew rushing back into each other's arms makes sense for the characters, even if it's very rushed because they're insane. However, it's also emblematic of all the problems they had before, and indicates these problems will continue. LMM does set up them up for success in that (1) Andrew apologizes and overcomes his pride (2) Robin stands up to the grandmother. However, it's more than a little slapdash. Then there's the ultimate parentification of Jane, albeit self-parentification. I do think Jane thinking she'd communicate for her parents is Jane's potentially flawed reading...but I don't think LMM meant it to be flawed sklsksl. This is where I say for me, the book ends with the chapter before, because for me, the book is about Jane's emotional arc. While I do like that the parents get back together, I don't think LMM earns this ending.

All of the discussion from the book club has been delightful, and a dream come true. There are some points raised that I'm still thinking over, and will still be thinking over for a while. so i'll end this post by thanking everyone who participated by posting and sharing posts - it was a ball, and all of ya'll know your onions <3

#the ultimate compliment i promise #as for the ending -the line about robin and andrew being young lovers again...girlie is that a GOOD thing?? #we know what they were like as young lovers #i do like the ending if I squint at it but the problem is lmm squinted at it too #lantern hill book club

[amplifyme]

Finished S1! Here's my collective thoughts:

Down To A Sunless Sea-- This episode really clarified that I don't have a firm enough grasp of Cathy as a character. She's usually intuned with her emotions; but the trauma she suffered with her ex was so suppressed (because she didn't want to be a victim) that she couldn't see the parallels between her rationalizations and the woman. Tbf, Jeff? was really slick about his creepster, stalker ways. One thing I did notice: Cathy, since ep. 1, doubts herself a lot; and I like the consistency of that. Overall, I like this episode; but it has touch and go moments I have to think over. Not bad, but a little puzzling (though I completely understood the themes/buildup/character work leading up to and after the climax.)

Fever: Cullen-- definitely a character. I liked that Winslow and Jamie were given more complex places in the story (Winslow arguing aggressively for the community was a great twist to my expectations); and Vincent and Father trying and failing to reason with Cullen was a great story beat. Mouse getting hurt was unexpected but perfectly logical; and I'm glad the episode didn't take the easy way out of that. It also allowed Mouse's forgiving nature to take center stage once more. Vincent and Cathy were stellar; and I'm glad the chest wasn't dumped into the pit.

Everything Is Everything-- An okay ep. Loved the boy character and his relationship with Cathy; enjoyed the gift of words motif woven throughout; enjoyed the politics of the group (a mirror to Below but with more archaic, inflexible rules); liked the scene where the dogs cowered to the beast in Vincent; and Vincent's intercession with the grandfather and his conversations with Father were great, too.

To Reign In Hell-- Marvelous episode (though I did laugh at the giant rising and sinking into the mists.) The backstory, Winslow, Pascal, Jamie, Cathy, Vincent, Father, the community, Paracelsus-- all of them excellent with not a step out of place. Really getting attached to and even more curious about the world Below. Cathy learning to stop her fear from affecting her and Vincent's connection was one of those "ah, there's that thing Nan wrote about!" moments, so that was fun. John Pater chews up the scenery (which were all fantastic.) Winslow will be missed-- hadn't thought that's how he would die, actually, but his funeral scene was top tier.

Ozymandias-- Only Cathy would be surprised that a man willing to ignore the sins of his employees in their first ep. together would do it again (security guards, tower issues, etc.) I loved that Elliot chose the tower over Cathy; loved Elizabeth and her plot (and that I got to mee her~) and how Mouse rose to the occasion, though not wisely, to help her; love Cathy's old friend and her plotline; loved Joe's participation; loved the end scene. Great episode.

A Happy Life-- Love this episode. I think it finally gave Cathy something to ground herself in. Love that Vincent let her go, love that the anniversary of her mother's death spurred it, love her father's comfort and understanding, love Joe's admittance and regret, love her friend to death, love how her "happiness" was parallel to Vincent's longing and mourning, love that she drove back immediately and Vincent knew and met her, love that there was progress to this side of her character (one might say finally.) LOVE Father's speech about praying for them both (saw it on your blog and was waiting to see where it would slot into the series. Perfect placement.) Great final episode.

And now-- onto the book between S1 and S2! :DDDDDD

Yay! Season 1 is in the books. Can't wait for you to start S2.

This episode really clarified that I don't have a firm enough grasp of Cathy as a character. She's usually intuned with her emotions; but the trauma she suffered with her ex was so suppressed (because she didn't want to be a victim) that she couldn't see the parallels between her rationalizations and the woman.

And now you're venturing into the territory where I start to lose some of my patience with Cathy. We've already established her naïveté when it comes to anything outside her established worldview. I think she can also be willingly obtuse when it comes to things she just doesn't want to deal with. I've said before that I don't think she has a malicious bone in her body, but she's really bad at thinking about anything beyond the moment she's living in. And that exacts a heavy toll. Not only on her, but on Vincent, too. BTW, her crazy ex-boyfriend/stalker is Stephen Bass. Remember that name. This won't be the last time you hear it.

Everything Is Everything-- An okay ep.

Yep, that's about all I have to say about it. This is one of the eps I told you early on you could skip. Now you know why. 🤣

Everything you said about Fever and To Reign in Hell? I agree 100%. Great episodes. I like Cullen so much that I hijacked him, along with one particular line of his to Vincent in that ep, and built my "Vincent - the Early Years" fanfic on that. And I still miss Winslow. He was a great character.

Only Cathy would be surprised that a man willing to ignore the sins of his employees in their first ep. together would do it again

Right?? That's what I was saying up there! It's one of those "Oh, Cathy, what are you doing?" moments.

I loved that Elliot chose the tower over Cathy

Yes!! That's a pretty damn big ask she had of him, and his response was completely understandable. I would've told her no, too. Love doesn't mean giving up your dreams just because someone wants you to. Only Vincent would consider that a reasonable request. And he's way too good at giving up on his dreams.

Agree with everything you said about A Happy Life. It was damn near perfect as a first season finale. I gotta ask: what did you think about the "soul" kiss at the end? Ron Koslow (the creator/showrunner) was willing to have it end with a real kiss, but Standards & Practices at CBS made them do it that way instead. They were worried folks would consider a real kiss to be bestiality. Can you believe that? Oh well, it was a long time ago.

Have fun reading Bright Spirit Descending. You'll notice as you get to the end of it that Nan stole some of what she'd written for AWTN and plugged it into this pro novel. But hey, if you can't steal from yourself, than who can you steal from? 😁

Don't forget, when you start S2, to watch Chamber Music before Remember Love. I think Chamber Music beautifully sets the theme and tone of S2. Make of that what you will.

#beauty and the beast 1987 #discussion #ask and answer

[cherriko-art]

I just want to thank the Tumblr community from the bottom of my heart for helping me find joy in drawing again. For helping me find art a little less scary with every comment I get. And to remind people, once again, how much of an impact positive engagement has for creators, no matter how small or big.

Long, midnight ramble on my struggles with art below.

Late night thoughts, but lately my motivation for drawing has been rekindled as a way to release the brain rot on the fandoms and games I've loved recently. I lost my love for art for a really, really long time and for someone who's been drawing since I could pick up a pencil, and has identified as an artist my entire life, literally witnessing myself lose my love for art and drawing has been a really painful process. Especially since it happened over a relatively short period of time. Over 20 years of loving and creating art, only to be extinguished in just a small period of 2 years. When I came to a sudden realization that I hated drawing, I mourned over it for a really long time. I missed the joy I got from drawing, the pride in my art, the passion to learn and hone my skills. I used to think I could never imagine a future where I wasn't constantly thinking about the next thing I wanted to draw, but now I am living that future. Art is never on my mind anymore. I try to draw and I become filled with anxiety and dread. There's not a single thought about picking up my pencil and creating. The only things I had drawn in the last 4 years were for zines and it felt like work, not joy. Drawing felt like a job, and it stopped being the center of my universe. I stopped being active on social media, bc I was only on here for art. But even looking at other people's art left a bitter taste, and I didn't want to look at any of it anymore. Several times over the last few years I've tried to rekindle my love for art, tried starting small again. But it always fizzled out quickly, and I'd abandon it again. Sometimes I scroll through my Instagram and it hurts to look at, because I distinctly remember how much joy I got from drawing every single piece, what my thought process was, and how excited I felt in creating. It's been so long since I've felt happiness in drawing.

Lately, I've drawn some things bc my emotions for the brain rots in my head were Too Big and I couldn't think of releasing these big emotions in anything other than what I know. In art. I just drew something, didn't think too hard abt it, and posted them. Like barfing your overwhelming feelings on paper then throwing it away. But the engagement I've gotten on these emotional-dump drawings have been so wonderful, no matter how small or big, and it's made me so happy. Very specifically from Tumblr. Tumblr has reminded me what it's like to actually interact with fandoms again. Instagram/Twitter/etc has become such a competitive platform for content creators, that any sense of (the minimal) community and fandom interactions have been completely wiped out. But Tumblr has stayed true to it's roots through all these years and never have I been more grateful.

For the first time in years, I'm excited to draw again. I actually want to draw. I finished multiple drawings in the last 2 weeks, more than I have in years. Instead of feeling numb and exhausted after drawing like I had been, I'm actually filled with adrenaline and excitement to draw more. I'm excited to participate in fandoms again, engage in communities. This is all because other people's positive engagements on my little drawings have motivated me to draw more.

Drawing has become a very daunting, anxiety-filled, unpleasant experience for me. I lost my love for art years ago. But the positive engagement in my recent art has pushed away some of that anxiety, and it's becoming increasingly easier for me to pick up that pencil again. Drawing is starting to feel fun again. I don't know how long this will last, if it will fizzle out like it has time and time again. I don't know if art will turn back into the Big, Bad Monster again. But for now, I'm just relishing in the feeling of art feeling like freedom again. And I have the Tumblr community to thank for that.

So for everyone on here, thank you.

#cherry rambles #midnight thoughts #in ND terms art has been my special interest my whole life then some bad experiences ended up with art causing me a ton of anxiety and drea #since art became a trigger for negative emotions my brain switched off its interest in it #bc art was no longer a source of dopamine #then all of a sudden a life-long special interest fizzled out instantly into dust #anything related to art became dust in my mind #i had absolutely no interest in it whatsoever #and that hurt more than anything #bc no matter how hard I tried I couldn't rekindle that joy in drawing anymore #adhd peeps if ykyk #but after a few positive interactions on my recent art my brain has now latched on again it is SO happy #and now all I wanna do is draw??? bc its giving dopamine again??? all of a sudden my brain is like HELL YEAH ART!! #and god its like I can /breathe/ again for the first time in years #I feel like ME again - the person that loves art

[flying-kanery]

Voice

Hey queens! Soooooooo this is my first time ever posting one of the many fics I've written and it honestly feels surreal lol. Anyways, any and all writing advice is more than welcome! I'm so glad to finally be actively participating in the little kanera community on tumblr! I hope you guys enjoy the fic and that it brings even just a little smile to y'all's faces :)

Notes: This fic is the first part of a five-part series I'm planning to write. Each chapter is going to be inspired by one of the five love languages (words of affirmation, physical touch, gift giving, acts of service, and quality time). I guess you could say that it’s a late response to the Kanera week prompt “love languages” although I’ve actually been working on it for a while lol. This chapter is inspired by words of affirmation, thus the title: Voice.

Everyone in the fandom, myself included, seems to really like the idea of Hera singing. So I've wanted to write a fic about what singing means to Hera for a long time and here it is!!!

I actually started writing this fic on my birthday in early August (stay with me I promise this is significant lol) and I always pictured that Hera was a Leo like me (I'm definitely not projecting). So anyways, I picture this fic taking place soon after her birthday, which is why it starts with Kanan kind of reminiscing about when she was younger and thinking about how much she's grown as a person and stuff. Just wanted to explain my thought process there lol ;)

Anyways, here's the fic (rating: G):

Hera was twenty now, so they had been together for about a year and a half.

He remembered it. Meeting her when she was eighteen. It was such a different time. She was so light and airy, as if she didn't have a care in the world somehow–even though clearly she did. She cared about everyone. She was always more in touch with the pain of others than she was with her own emotions. She was alone, not taking into account the company of her droid of course, but she didn't seem bothered by it. She never lost hope in people, despite the fact that no one had believed in her enough to join her cause yet. That was the thing about eighteen-year-old Hera. She could connect with and understand just about anyone, but no one could really understand her.

She was always magnetic. Eyes and smiles followed her wherever she walked. But the thing that captured all kinds of people, the thing about her that made the air in the room become arid and still, as if the wind itself was stopping to listen--was her voice.

It didn't matter who was listening. Whether it was thugs with nowhere better to be or a wealthy rogue senator over a transmission or even a disillusioned ex-jedi who had used up all of his strength to bury and suffocate the love inside of him. When Hera spoke, you listened, some of the thugs even nodded, and everyone obeyed.

Her voice was the first thing that captured him the second that they met. But it wasn't just the sound of her voice. It was the soul behind every vibration. He just knew there was something more. Something deep inside of her, yearning for him to pull it out--set it free.

Of course, he didn't realize that that was the reason he loved her voice, at first. He just thought it was beautiful--and he wasn't wrong. It's just that now, he realized there was so much more to her voice.

Now, what he had always known had been fully realized: the reason that he couldn't help but follow her and eventually get completely and permanently swept up in the storm of sound she created every time she spoke.

Now, he realized that her voice had always been calling to him because her voice was his calling. Hera's voice was one of the biggest ways she expressed herself and exposed her soul to the world. However, as open-hearted, expressive, and brave as Hera was, she still kept so much of her soul private--which, at this point, meant between the two of them.

He knew that there was so much of her soul that only he got to see--as if that part of her was made just for him. He was the only person who got to see and love and be a part of all of her.

He was beyond honored and ecstatic to be that person--the one who got to love everything she is.

But there was still one part of Hera that not even he had fully experienced yet.

The first and only time he had ever heard Hera sing was in the middle of the night when he was half-asleep, just waking from a nightmare, eyes so blurred with tears that he could barely make out her face right above his. But he could hear the melody she was singing and it was like nothing he had ever heard before. It felt like a dream, but when he woke up the next morning, remembering what he had heard the night before, something inside of him just knew it was real.

He often replayed that memory of her singing to him and it always made him smile, but a part of him just wanted to hear more.

He was just replaying that favorite memory of his while making repairs in the cargo bay when suddenly, he heard it.

"Hold me close and hold me fast."

He stopped his work.

"This magic spell you cast."

He climbed up the ladder to the lounge, his mind solely focusing on her voice.

“This is la vie en rose.”

When he reached the top, he moved through the lounge as quietly as he could towards the cockpit, where the singing was coming from.

Luckily, Hera couldn’t see him, even though he was standing right outside the open doors to the cockpit, because she was lying on the ground positioned beneath the Ghost’s control panel.

“When you kiss me, heaven sighs”

”And though I close my eyes–”

She looked up to reach for another tool and right as she did, Kanan side-stepped so that his back was against the durasteel wall right by the doorwary.

She grabbed the tool and layed back down.

“I see la vie en rose.”

He peeked his head into the doorway and continued to watch her sing—entranced by the way the song spoke to his heart.

The way he could sense the happiness radiating off of her told him who she was singing to—even if she didn’t know that he was actually listening.

“When you press me to your heart, I’m in a world apart–a world where roses bloom”

He relaxed against the doorframe, letting her voice wash over him.

“And when you speak angels sing from above. Everyday words seem to turn into love songs.”

He felt an overwhelming sense of calm. Peace flowed through him with every breath he took, as Hera’s song filled the air.

“Give your heart and soul to me and life will always be la vie en rose.”

As she continued on with her work, she began humming the melody of the song.

Kanan wanted to stay and listen to her all day, but he knew she would get suspicious if she found that at the end of the day he hadn’t finished all of his repairs. So he walked back down to the cargo bay, still listening to the sound of her hums as he went.

~

That night, as he pulled Hera close to his chest, he whispered against her forehead,

“Can I ask you something?”

Hera lifted her head to look at him, “Yes, love.”

Kanan laughed, “Okay, well…It’s just kind of a random question.”

She smiled, “Aren’t they always?”

He paused for a moment, then shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so,” he said laughing.

“So what is it?”

Another moment passed as Kanan wondered how he should go about asking this question. Slowly and simply he said, “Do you like to sing?”

What?

Hera was dumbfounded by Kanan’s strange question. She also couldn’t seem to verbalize any kind of response to it, which she wasn’t used to. However, as of late, it was becoming more and more common for her to be at a loss for words, specifically in situations involving Kanan. That man never ceased to surprise her.

Kanan just patiently waited for her to respond. She could tell by his expression that he was open to hear any answer she gave him. That always made her feel safe—the fact that she could just look into his eyes and know that there was never any pressure for her to do any certain thing or act any certain way. She could just be herself. She didn’t have to try around him at all. She could just be.

Letting that feeling of safety surround her is how she managed to finally get a few words out, “Uh…yeah, I do actually. Just not really in front of other people–well, I’m just kind of shy about my voice.”

“Oh,” he nodded. “I understand…Why are you shy about your voice?” he asked, tilting his head a little like an adorable puppy.

How could she not open up to that?

“I guess I just…I don’t know. I just–don’t wanna draw attention to myself? Even if it’s just one person’s attention. I just feel so vulnerable when I sing, you know?”

Kanan nodded once again as a silent moment passed.

“My mother used to sing to me a lot…She would always tell me that when you sing, you open up your soul to other people. You put a piece of your heart into the words you’re singing for all to hear…I just struggle with being that open I guess.”

Kanan smiled, “That makes sense.” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. “You deserve to feel safe.”

~

When Kanan woke up the next morning, Hera was already  awake propped up on top of him, her face right above his.

“Good morning, Hera,” he grabbed her face and kissed the space between her eyebrows.

She laughed, “Good morning.”

A tense moment of silence passed as Hera’s expression suddenly changed to one of worry. He could tell there was something she wanted to say—no, not necessarily say, but something she had to let out.

She rested her head on his chest. Another quiet moment and then,

“Wise men say, only fools rush in”

He looked down at her, awe in his eyes. She nervously fiddled with the hair on his chest.

“But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

His heart felt like it was going to explode. He smiled wide and kissed the top of her head, urging her to go on.

“Oh, shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you.”

He held her closer, cherishing this moment. Soaking in this piece of her heart—this part of her—that she was finally sharing with him.

She moved to face him again as she continued.

“Like a river flows surely to the sea, darlin’ so it goes, some things are meant to be”

She moved a few stray hairs behind his ear, and their noses touched.

She touched his hand as she sang,

“Oh, take my hand”

Their fingers interlocked.

“Take my whole life too.”

“For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

She smiled, a big wide, genuine smile.

“Oh, I can’t help falling in love with you”

He lifted her face so that her lips met his. When they finally broke apart, they pressed their foreheads against each other and just sat there, happily looking into each other’s eyes, a quiet understanding between them.

He pressed her to his heart again.

After a moment, she popped right back up and with a wry smile said, “So when do I get to hear you sing?”

He laughed. “You hear me sing all the time! When a song I know comes on the radio, purposefully loud to annoy you, or embarrass you if we’re in public–”

“No, Kanan,” she laughed. “I mean, like actually sing.”

“Actually sing?”

“Like, actually try to sound good.”

He paused for a moment, “Hera, that is my actual singing voice.”

Her eyes went wide as she tried to hold back laughter.

“Guess I’m just a terrible singer,” he said sarcastically, but unable to hold back his laughter.

“I guess you are,” Hera laughed.

Thank you so much for reading<3xoxo

#star wars rebels #kanera #kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #caleb dume #kanan x hera #hera x kanan #star wars: rebels #fic #kanera week #star wars #rebels

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Was passing by and smelled a steaming heap of drama lol. Cause I'm like that, I went back and read every single ask about the big discussion to make sure I saw everything.

Not that anyone asked me, but with my psych hat on and having participated in the discussion myself and on the opposing side to you but having thoroughly enjoyed it, here are my takeaways:

1. I communicate a little but similarly to you. I separate emotions from facts and opinion and I feel that most times I should be able to have a brutally logical, articulated debate with someone without worrying about their feelings. However, the topic itself made that a big gamble. It's one of those topics that is deeply emotional and weaved through with layers upon layers of other emotional things like self-worth, values, purpose in life, culture, family, traditions, etc etc etc. A large number of people would simply be unable to have a conversation on this topic without their emotions getting mixed in.

2. But here's the kicker- just because a topic is emotionallt laden doesn't mean that you're responsible for someone taking it personally and running with it. One thing I do agree with, perhaps only tag moots/followers in such things that you know aren't bothered and are not easily triggered. And don't tag anything with "smut" that doesn't actually have explicit sex in it. I know it's tempting, it helps it get more traction but it's not good tagging etiquette. "Clogging the tags" they call it. However, even if you tagged someone in something, it's their choice whether to take it as a personal attack, a simple question, or ignore it altogether. Personally I've not responded to every single thing you've tagged me in or felt obligated to because sometimes I just have no opinion or nothing to say, or maybe I disagree but I'm not in the mood to discuss. No one HAS to respond to anything, it's a choice. They can also choose whether they get into a fight with you or not.

3. Other than that, there are loads of other things that affect how people perceive a topic or your take on a topic in general, and some of those were evident in people's answers. Like their own history, their beliefs about themselves, about the world, about what they think they deserve or what is realistic, what they feel they're entitled to (entitled isn't an outright bad word folks, by the way). Those things can be like an Instagram or Snapchat filter, they can make us see things differently to what they actually are. For anyone that wants to actually learn about this and work on themselves, search "cognitive distortions". There are at least 15 of them, over 15 different ways that our thinking can get wonky and starts being unhelpful to us.

4. We had a lot of discussion and not once did I feel disrespected for holding a different view to you. It's not even about "disagreeing" because it's so personal and subjective. I didn't see you pushing other people to come around to your point of view, I saw you just laying out your personal reasons for choosing not to have children. And plenty of other people who wanted children were perfectly happy to participate in the discussion, give their own reasoning and experiences and weren't disrespected or manipulated by you in any way.

5. This was a broad topic. Tagged or not, if there was no prior history of you discussing it with a particular person or having had heated exchanges with them in the past, then them taking it personally or seeing disrespect in your words is them choosing to take it that way.

Hello my love! @muselin

You're my fave psych moot and I'm so glad you've taken the time to come on here to respond to me! I feel stronger when you're around.

The 'clogging the tags' etiquette is a valid point and i didn't get that its bad etiquette so I'll take the steps as to not do that again.

And thank you for the time to read through every single ask, that would have been a long time and a lot of tea being spilled.

I'm honestly a bit too mentally fatigued to really elaborate more on the important of the post but just know that you have made some very beautiful points that everyone should see because they do add value to the topic that was discussed.

Truly, from the bottom of my heart. I am so grateful to have found you on this app.

#whatudowhennooneseesyou moots #whatudowhennooneseesyou answered asks #whatudowhennooneseesyou hard hours #us Aries gals have to stick together because whew it's brutal out here

[female-buckets]

At 4 p.m. on the dot Tuesday afternoon, as scheduled, UConn women's basketball legend Diana Taurasi took a seat in front of a USA Basketball backdrop and stared into the camera with a signature gigantic smile.

Taurasi, 40, is still going strong at every elite level of basketball.

But for the first time in 18 years, Sue Bird was not sharing the backcourt and wasn’t within earshot as members of the U.S. women's national team gathered for a four-day minicamp in Minneapolis.

“Sue and I pretty much talk every single day, whether it's a text or something stupid someone said and she sends it to me and we laugh over that,” said Taurasi, who teamed with Bird, her former UConn teammate, to win five Olympic gold medals. “We're always communicating. It was weird. It was strange getting here and not having Sue. Usually right now we're having coffee and talking for about three hours, then we'd have dinner and we'd have another coffee and talk for another two hours. When your best friend is not on the team anymore, it is a little bit strange. I'll have to find someone else to bug.”

Taurasi also is one of the few public figures to have been in constant contact with longtime Phoenix Mercury teammate Brittney Griner, who decided not to participate in this week’s Team USA minicamp. Griner was detained in Russia on drug charges in February 2022 and sentenced to nine years in prison, but was returned to the U.S. as part of a prisoner exchange that made international headlines in November.

“It was a situation that I thought wasn't going to happen,” Taurasi said. “I'm not a person that lives in this fake world of optimism. I knew how serious everything was. I lived in Russia for 10 years. I know how serious these things are there. ... I really thought it was going to be a long time before I got to see my friend again. Every single day, we suffered and hoped that she would be back. Not until I saw her did I really believe it. Just to see her smile, just to see her free, was really emotional for everyone.

"And we knew at the same time, even as she got into that plane and we got to Phoenix, there was going to be a whole new set of challenges, a whole new reality, a whole new way of living life for BG. All I can say is that every day she's in a great place. She's so thankful to be home. She has so much admiration for all the people who pushed and helped and made sure that we got her home. It's a work in progress but it's just amazing to see her at home with her friends and family. The one thing that has never left BG is the ability to make people happy, and to make them smile. I'm just so glad she's home with her family and her friends.”

Taurasi and Griner, both former No. 1 draft picks, have been teammates with the Mercury since 2013. They won Olympic gold together in 2016 (under Geno Auriemma) and again in Tokyo (under Dawn Staley).

“We just have a special relationship where we can connect on a different level, which is, for both of us, really nice,” Taurasi said. “I've never had a friend go through this. So I think for everyone involved, it's a situation that's very particular and very strange. But BG always finds a way to find lightness in everything. Yeah, we've had probably too many jokes that I can't share, too many stories that I can't share. But just happy she's home. We talk all the time.

“We're both in Phoenix. We both live there full time. So we've hooked up a couple times. We chat on the phone, text. This morning, she texted me, 'How's camp going?' She wants to be part of this like no one else. So she'll get there eventually. She'll find her footing.”

Bird retired after the 2022 WNBA season. Taurasi, who turns 41 in June and will be 42 before the 2024 Paris Olympics, shows no eagerness to walk away no matter how difficult the preparation for games and seasons has become.

“As I look at you guys, I know some of us are a little bit on the older side,” Taurasi said to a Zoom media audience. “It's a daily grind. It's something I've focused my whole life on, to be as healthy as I can be, to be on the court, to make sure I'm available to my kids and my family. It's been something that the last four or five years has really consumed my life, to do everything possible in order to be on the court. I continue to do that now. It's something that I find as a challenge and I like to do it. And we'll go from there.”

Taurasi won three consecutive NCAA championships at UConn before going on to become the WNBA’s all-time leading scorer.

“Since I stopped playing in Russia [in 2017], I've had to reorganize the way I look at my basketball career,” Taurasi said. “When you're playing year-round you're kind of just always in shape and you're just in that constant going from team to team, always being in shape. And when you settle down and you just play the WNBA, the offseason is long. You really have to plan it out and see the times where you can really push yourself, and times when you have to look in the mirror and say, 'I need to backtrack a little bit.' So it's an ongoing journey. It's a great process. You learn a lot about yourself and how committed you are. Because when you're not on a team, you could easily not do it. You could easily just go to happy hour instead.”

Taurasi has not yet signed a contract for the 2023 season.

“I expect to,” she said. “That's something I've said for a long time, that finishing my career in Phoenix is something I have a lot of respect for and something that I want to do. But you never know what can happen in this world, right? As we've seen in the last couple of weeks, anything can happen.”

Asked if she would take less money to create cap flexibility for the Mercury, Taurasi said, “Yeah, I don't know about that. I'm not one to take less money. I don't know about you guys.”

Taurasi said he recently met Mat Ishbia, new owner of the Mercury and the NBA’s Phoenix Suns. She averaged 16.7 points last season, her 18th with the Mercury.

“Last season, for a lot of reasons, nor here or there, I didn't feel like I brought the best version of myself,” Taurasi said. “I feel like there were glimpses of days where I was like, oh, this is still pretty easy. And there were days where I was like, I'd rather be somewhere else. This is just another challenge for me, approaching this season with a different mindset. I'm excited about that.”

Taurasi famously shouted into the TV cameras, “See you in Paris!” after winning Gold with Team USA in Tokyo. The Paris Olympics are July/August of 2024.

“USA Basketball is a very special organization,” Taurasi said. “I've been a part of it since 1998 when I started playing under-18's. I played through college. It's been a part of my basketball career as much as the WNBA, as much as playing overseas. It's something that I've always taken great respect in playing. It's always been a big honor. And any time I'm asked to a camp, I'll drop everything to try to come if I'm physically ready, and ready to go.”

#gotta go to the connecticut media to get the full unedited press conference of course #diana taurasi #wnba #phoenix mercury #brittney griner #sue bird #usabwnt #usab #usbwnt

[ladyxskywalker]

hello, my lovely friend. 🥪☕️💌 i'm going around and asking the writers i most admire on here about their process. how are you so prolific? what are your tips to writers re: carving out the time to write? i know for a lot of us it can sometimes feel like we don't have any pockets of free time between work, life, families, etc. any wisdom you could share would be greatly appreciated <3 :3 take care!

hello my dear ! 💗🌸🌻

thank you so much for this message about writer things !

how are you so prolific?

when I first got into writing during 2020, I had a lot more time to devote to it then. everyone was staying home, & I always had other creative interests that I would spend time with because it would help my emotional health & well being. I would write almost every day (in between crochet or daily life things), & a lot of the time when I couldn't sleep from fear or stress, I would stay up during the quiet early hours & have these super late night writing sessions. all of my dreams or daydreaming would eventually turn into full fledged stories, & would just come to life when it felt like I was losing myself. personal struggle & intense grieving also was a huge part of my writing process (both then & now). I felt like if I didn't put this emotion somewhere positive, I was going to fall straight down into a black hole. I couldn't let myself get there to that point. So alot of the writing that came out of that just kept building up over time. I just felt like I had to do something.

It was a lot of fun for a while, staying up really late & feeling like a silly coffee lady, but now I just physically can't do that anymore. & I'm trying to be better about time management & being realistic about how I spend my time. Taking more walks & reconnecting with friends.

Then when autumn & thia started doing the writer weds writing challenge, I would always participate & try to push myself to write something based on the photo prompt every week to get the creative juices flowing. I had more time last year to do all of that when I was helping take care of my grandma on my off days. That's probably why my fanfiction works number is so high on ao3 because I would write all of those little stories no matter what. & alot of those fics were also requests for friends, or series that I started & never picked up again for whatever reason. writing during all of that just really helped me & brought comfort not only to myself but other people too. In a strange way it felt like I was doing something good & like I had a purpose.

I feel like it's definitely much harder now to balance creative interests with daily life & family responsibilities, & sometimes my free time is chosen based on if I get lucky & have like a random 2 hour break time window in my day. Or when the feeling strikes completely out of the blue & if I don't quickly write something down I will absolutely forget it all (because my brain sometimes is on multi task / auto pilot mode).

which is why it is so incredibly important to take breaks, & to listen to your body & mind if or when I am pushing myself way too hard. !! because the burn out is so real. I'm trying to be better about perfectionism & slowing down more, because sometimes I set unrealistic expectations for myself.

anyway this kind of went way off topic *waves hand* but I do hope this answers your question in some way ! I always love chatting about the creative process, & would love to also hear your thoughts about it all too !

thank you for being a friend & for sharing in this little community we've made for ourselves here. super happy & thankful to have connected in the way that we did. ☕️💗🌸 xoxo

[hotdogdynamitezzz]

Hii, i'm a new follower and i just saw your valentine's day game, may i participate? i'm curious about my love life... my initials are L.S. thank you for this game and for your energy💕💕

Hiii thank you for being a new follower! Of course you can participate 💕💕🫶🥰 I don't need your initials haha but that's cute that you added them😂 thank you sm for sending the chart and I can't wait to get started!

Your 7th House falls in Taurus and conjuncts Uranus. I also see you have a stellium consisting of Uranus, Sun & Mercury along with the North Node in there. Anytime there's a stellium in a house, there will be more focus on that area of life. The 7th house rules long-term commitments and one on one connections, as well as other people, contracts & gossip.

Uranus conjunct the Descendant points to a priority on independence in your relationships with others, on and off relationships, and non-traditional relationships which is interesting cuz it's in Taurus a very traditional sign lol. It could just mean you're more focused on shaking it up in your relationships this year and not going for your usual types tbh. You have Sun in Taurus conjunct Mercury in Gemini so you could very well be the center of gossip this year in your friend group? But also you will direct a lot of yourself towards building stable relationships that rely on communication and are still fun and lighthearted.

Your uth house ruler Venus is in Aries 6th house 19° (Libra). You could very well meet people through the day to day life, hiking? Any sports activities that are a part of your routine, THE GYM omg. Venus here also conjuncts Chiron which is pretty interesting. This makes me think you may have some self-confidence insecurities regarding your physical appearance or body that you're healing this year. Or past awful love experiences that you're learning how to let go of. Maybe even a potential breakup could take place? But it's more likely with learning to love yourself more.

Your 5th house is in Pisces and contains a stellium of Neptune conjunct Mars in Pisces and Jupiter in Aries. Omygod LOL so Mars conjunct Neptune is always interesting and quite chaotic tbh. But also really fun! So this aspect can make you lost in your goals or blinded by your impulses and desires this year, it can also make you a little avoidant, so you struggle to make choices about where to direct your energy. But you also become very in tune with your sexual drive & you easily become immersed and gain a lot of emotional highs from any physical activity.

Now with Jupiter in the 5th House conjunct that Mars/Neptune aspect. Gurl....LMAOOOOIOOOO do I even have to say it😃 let's just say life will not be boring in the bedroom or with your crushes. You're definitely going to have A LOT of people interested in you as Jupiter brings abundance and expansion. You may also have some really confused people that lead you on or struggle to make committed choices? But all in all it's a fun year for love fr. Also try not to gamble😭 5th house also rules over gambling. While Jupiter here is good for gambling but with Mars conjunct Neptune...umm your chances of winning might just exceed everyone's expectations or more likely completely vanish and be a sticky situation. Neptune makes everything sticky LOL.

#asks #ask game #astro asks #ask blog

[obsidianmama]

HGP REVIEW- Section 2: Maya Method

I'm switching to summarizing this book in sections. There's a lot of anecdotes and repetition, and I just don't feel like each chapter merits its own individual review. The good news is, we're finally into the part I'm actually interested in: the parenting advice.

In chapter 3, "The Most Helpful Kids in the World," we get introduced to a concept that's core to this section: acomedido. As Doucleff explains it, "The idea is complex: It’s not just doing a chore or task because someone told you to; it’s knowing which kind of help is appropriate at a particular moment because you’re paying attention" (53). That sounds like an extremely valuable skill for any person living and working with other humans to possess, and Doucleff is going to explain how to teach this skill over the course of the next 3 chapters, mostly based on her experiences observing Mayan families, with some references to other groups such as the Inuit and the Nahua-heritage people (she never calls them Nahua people or Nahuas, she only ever says things like "Nahua-heritage moms," and I do not know enough about Nahuas to know if this is how they prefer to be referred, or if the people Doucleff interviewed about this are descended from Nahuas but not affiliated with any modern Nahua communities, or some other thing). So, let's see what Doucleff's takeaways are on the matter of getting kids to willingly contribute to the household.

There are apparently 3 steps to instilling this value in children. Chapter 4, "How to Teach Kids to Do Chores, Voluntarily," describes the first step, which I would summarize very simply as "modelling and inclusion." Modelling is probably a pretty familiar concept to a lot of parents already going the respectful parenting route: it's simply allowing the child to observe you doing the behaviors you want them to emulate. This is helpful in everything from chores, to emotional regulation, to communication, due to mimicry being a core tool of childhood learning.

However, it's also stressed here that it's important to not only let the child observe, but participate unobstructed.

This chapter made me realize I hadn't really been doing enough in this area. I do well at it with some things: L has always been my laundry helper, since she was about a year old. She has always been invited to be part of that process, and she is a competent and enthusiastic assistant in this task. In others, I am prone to dismissing or only briefly tolerating her assistance, as with sweeping, because it tends to slow me down insufferably or make a bigger mess. And with others, like the dishes, I send her to play by herself, or sit her down with a screen if she won't.

But as Doucleff says on page 61, "...if you constantly discourage a child from helping, they believe they have a different role in the family. Their role is to play or move out of the way."

After reading this chapter I immediately adjusted my approach, and I've been inviting L to contribute much more often, even if she makes a mess or a mistake that must be cleaned or corrected before the task is complete. Children are naturally motivated to be included in adult activities, including cleaning, and experience satisfaction from contributing. This hypersocial instinct is the reason for our species' overwhelming success, and denying children the opportunity to observe and participate without lecture or judgement suppresses the natural drive to work constructively with others. It also removes a considerable amount of a child's autonomy.

So, now I'm learning from and starting to enjoy this book. Unfortunately, my feelings about the next two chapters are more mixed.

Chapter 5, entitled "How to Raise Flexible, Cooperative Kids," is essentially about welcoming children into the adult world, rather than keeping them in this separate little bubble from the rest of humanity. In principle, I'm on board with this: by treating children as equals who are learning from you and from whom you might learn, you are treating them as fellow people. If you allow children to join in you in your work, without lecture or bossing, and accept their contributions even if you must make some adjustments before finishing the task, they will learn at their own pace and their intrinsic motivation to build competency and contribute will be nurtured.

Doucleff argues in this chapter that as part of making children part of the adult world, parents need to stop entertaining their children. No more playing event manager, packing children's days full of crafts, playdates, and children's museum excursions in order to keep them busy; no more child-centered activities, period. You can do fun things, like going to the zoo or playing board games, but they should be for everyone's benefit, not just the child's. Otherwise you are, once again, teaching them that their role is to be entertained.

I think there's some merit to this. I enjoy playing with L sometimes, but too often I find myself putting off whatever I'm trying to do by acquiescing to her demands that I play with her. When this happens, I don't enjoy it. I'm irritated and resentful. But I don't necessarily think that this means I need to throw away all her toys, as Doucleff actually recommends in this chapter (she even recommends that parents threaten to throw away a child's toys that they do keep, if the child won't keep them tidy to the satisfaction of the adult. This is, at its least disrespectful and damaging, still a dick move). I mean, we're overdue for a declutter, but I think the issue could be solved by better boundary-setting and a willingness to try to problem-solve with her, rather than either giving in to her demands or requiring obedience to my own. But Doucleff thinks parents should start taking a break from entertaining their kids as part of easing them into the adult world, to the point of ignoring them when they say they're bored. Again, I would rather help them do some problem-solving than act like their feelings don't matter to me. But I can get behind the idea that time spent together should be meaningful for both adult and child, and if the grown-up is miserable, then maybe there's something better they could be doing instead.

I will say again that I appreciate Doucleff's transparency about things that a lot of parents are afraid to admit for fear of judgment. In her introduction to her TEAM acronym (Togetherness, Encouragement, Autonomy, Minimal interference), she admits that when she first heard about the concept of togetherness, she thought it "sounded like hell" and that she found being with Rosy to be exhausting. I've seen plenty of parents who are trying to break cycles say the same thing, usually with an enormous helping of guilt. For parents who are struggling with that feeling, Doucleff's candor about this probably feels like a relief as they hear that they are not alone, and it's possible for things to change for the better.

Anyway, that was step 2 of teaching kids to be helpful: make them full-fledged members of the team. Now we're on to the last chapter of this section, chapter 6, or "Master Motivators: What's Better Than Praise?"

Praise is actually a topic I'd been thinking about making a blog post about for a while, because How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen kinda blew my mind about it. Doucleff's approach to praise is... similar, but worse, I would say. Both books point out that praise as we usually understand it- things like saying "good job!" and "yes, that looks very nice"- actually has quite a few drawbacks, including undermining intrinsic motivation and inspiring rivalry between children, especially siblings. It actually does far more harm than good. The HTTSLKWL approach is to use "descriptive" praise, which is exactly what it sounds like: describing what the child has done without any value judgment. Here in HGP, the recommendation is to specifically acknowledge the child's contribution. Which works, if you only care about training them to do work, I guess. It's good advice, but it doesn't really tell you what to say if your child shows you a crayon drawing, you know? At this level, it really is the same as the HTTSLKWL approach, but only interested in labor. It's narrower in scope, and maybe suggestive of a difference in the author's priorities, but at this point I'm basically fine with it.

There's some specific advice in here that I take issue with, though. For example, connecting contributions to maturity and growing up. I mostly like that, but I'm not a fan of "big boy/girl" talk, and I'm outright vetoing calling children babies when they're being unhelpful. Don't call your kids names, are you kidding me right now? I should not have to tell grown-ups not to insult, demean and belittle children for not doing what you want. Similarly, I think you have to be careful with pointing out unhelpful behavior. I think it's one thing to say, "When food gets thrown on the floor, it makes a mess. Messes have to be cleaned up." I think the example used in the book, "The rest of us are working hard. You need to try your best too" is just shaming and guilt-tripping. Don't emotionally manipulate your kids to get them to do what you want.

There's a couple more examples like that, but I think I've made my point. I get the sense that despite going all over the world to gain perspective from other cultures, Doucleff still hasn't fully freed herself from the punitive mindset of our own society.

But with that, we've reached the end of this section. The 3 steps to teaching kids how to be helpful are Practice, Model and Acknowledge. This section was eye-opening in some parts, and concerning in others. I'm hoping the next two will be better, but I suspect that the lens through which Doucleff is viewing the lessons she learned remains distorted by growing up in the most carceral country in the world. So far, this is not a book I would recommend without many caveats.

#om reads #hgp review #parenting book review

[eatember]

Vent post

I am being very sensitive to lack of empathy (esp w holidays and flashbacks) and my bestie is having a hell of a time with The Neurodivergance TM and like... Idk what it's called but it's the trait where you get soo swept away in something (I've only seen people do it with positive things) that it's like there's this happy inertia. And it's like...she doesn't really think about my feelings? Like the usual empathy she has for me in situations is 1000% unclocked. Will not register. Too much happy inertia, the ice cream maker is broken come again.

This year was the first year I had the guts to tell my mother that if she made Christmas about whatever exchangeable man was in her life this time, I would not go. I even planned a gathering for my extended family that had nowhere else to be instead. So after my mom chose a stable-feeling man over me for the one millionth time, she called her parents and got them convinced that my Christmas plans (that she wasn't coming to) were a bad idea so now nobody is coming. The biggest reason I felt the strength to do this was because my friend (same one) had been telling me all year that if the worst happens, I can just hang out with her. And what do you know, a reasonably stable man comes along and she's so happy about it, here I am alone on Christmas eve. I don't think she even thought about me. I texted her and mentioned dinner and she's like actually I have plans with stability man. ! :)

We talked about the fact that she was doing this a few days ago because it's not the first instance but she doesn't know what to do and I'm so frayed right now, even conceiving that this was unempathetic of her is such a big leap for me. It's really hard for me to not feel guilty, unreasonable and embarrassed for expecting compassion when it's unexpectedly taken away.

And there's been so many little things. Drinking with this dude when it was just the three of us and I couldn't drink. Which is genuinely fine, I usually don't drink. But like. It was weird. Like there was no attempt at inclusion or jokes to lighten the mood. Or attempt to bring me in about something else? And they were really into it. Like I wouldn't treat someone like that if it were me. They keep wanting to do activities around me I can't participate in and they don't really try to include me, it's not just drinking.

And part if me is like...do I need to communicate my emotional state in words or is this a sign that maybe this isn't a friendship that's healthy or where I'm really wanted anymore?

#doing a sad #will delete later

[lexiepiper]

Fic writer game: 1, 7, 12?

1. What part of the writing process is the most enjoyable?

I'm honestly not sure. I think I have more than one favourite aspect of writing, otherwise I wouldn't keep coming back to it.

However, if I only had to pick one, if would be those moments where I'm ruminating over a plot and there's that tiny moment where everything clicks together. That little "oh" of realisation as my mind presents a plot twist or secret or fantastic revelation that will turn something that's floundering into something great. These moments give me the motivation to write because I'm excited to share them with other people! It's the closest I come to feeling inspired, and it's probably one of the best aspects because it pushes me to keep going when things are tough.

7. What do you love most about being a fic writer for your fandom?

How friendly we all are! I get a real sense of community and support from the Danny Phantom fandom that I haven't found elsewhere. I especially love how we all come together for different events around the year and are generally open to chat. I'm a shy person in social settings so it's awesome to have found a place where I feel comfortable enough to chat with anyone!

12. What is your favorite theme/subject matter/trope/ship to write about? Why?

Oooooh, I always come back to identity revelations. They're my bread and butter. The complex emotional tangle associated with all of the lies and intrigues are great fun to write, and the dramas of betrayal, breakdown of communication, hidden things coming to light all make for great stories.

13. Describe your writing style. If you were to participate in an anonymous fic writers guessing game (like The Masked Author), what writing habits do you have that would be a dead giveaway that it’s you?

Oh dear. I don't know any of my tells off the top of my head but they're in there. Little words and phrases that I like to use. Favoured plot beats and character relationships. I think the most telling thing is simply the flow of my writing - each of us has our own voice, and I've been writing for long enough now that I wouldn't be surprised if mine is distinctive enough to be recognised by people who are familiar enough with my works. I do really like to have Valerie call Danny 'Spooky' once she learns his secret, so that's probably a key giveaway right there haha.

14. Share a snippet.

“ ...You were fired because you hid your ghost powers from us. Now, the only way to get to space is for you to use them for the common good. So what will it be? Work with us so that you can fly into the stars to rescue your friends, or stay here and swelter while you watch them slowly die on your livestream?”

Danny swallowed thickly as sweat prickled along the back of his neck. “Who have you told?” he whispered.

Scott shrugged. “No one. That’s your job, Fenton. ”

#sapphireswimming #lexiepiper #ask game #thanks for asking me! I had a lot of fun answering these.

[quietborderline]

An Open Letter To Fandom (and the BioWare fandom, specifically),

TL;DR:

1. Fandom creators are not trained monkeys. We are not some corporate entity mass producing content. We are passionate fans, of all ages, same as you, who just want to share our love of the source material with the world, same as you. We are full of anxiety and awkwardness, same as you. We can feel things and have emotions, same as you. We're people. Real people. Please treat us accordingly.

2. If you, too, are discouraged by all the bullshit out there, then come say hello. My inbox is always open. I promise we are not all trolls. We are not all hateful, obnoxious assholes in disguise. And we are not all fake as shit takers who don't know how to give. Some of us are just normal, good people who love the content as much as you do and want to squee with you about it. Find us. We are out here, I promise.

Now, I want to tell you all a little story about my return to fandom just over a year ago. But first, a bit of backstory: I've been kicking around fandom for a LONG time now. About 25-30 years. At least 25 of them as an active writer/creator or whatever you want to call it.

See, I come from the RP side of fandom. So, as a creator, I'm pretty used to small, tight-knit communities that almost never had any outside audience. We created stuff with and for each other only.

That became exhausting when all the various platforms we were using decided to kick us out (I'm not gonna get into all that fandom history, as it's been documented many times over by people far smarter and more articulate than myself). Because, remember, right now I'm talking pre-AO3 times. Fandom was scattered across all different journal sites and other platforms and communities. And while I was always, always writing I almost never shared my own work, only the logs and stuff I wrote with others as part of the RPGs.

This will all come together, I promise...

For the sake of condensing this story I'm gonna skip a bit, and fast forward to 2017 and my official entrance into the BioWare fandom.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, friends.

We need to have a talk.

Because this fandom is a fucking disaster. Like I said, I've been participating in and lurking around fandom spaces for 25-30 years now. I've seen some shit, okay. I have never in all that time seen such a fucking cesspool of misery and hate disguising itself as a fandom.

Not EVER. In all that time.

Not in my personal experience, at least.

I have thoughts about why this is. You've heard of the 1% theory of fandom, have you not? If not, you can read about it here on Fanlore. It is great and, usually, very accurate. But BioWare, we have a problem. And I've decided that problem is one of two things: Either our fandom is just fucking backwards, and our 99% is the truly awful ones and our 1% are decent humans. OR. Our 1% is just SO FUCKING UNBEARABLE that our 99% is scared or bullied into total silence.

I really hope it's the latter, otherwise that's just depressing as shit.

And let me tell you something: I don't abide bullies well at all.

If you know me in any capacity... be it from the olden RP days, or my fic/writing, or just general Tumblr fandom stuff, or GISH, or my mental health blog, or theater and real life, or whatever... I think it's fair to say, I'm a decent and kind person? I'm a bumbling idiot, I will give you that, and I have a wicked case of imposter syndrome sometimes because 99% of people are smarter than me in ways that are extremely frustrating to me as a perfectionist lunatic person...

ANYWAY. I digress.

I'm not an asshole.

I reach out to people, I try to be supportive, I give as much of myself as I can. I act a fool out here not just because I am one, but because I want the people like me who hid away thinking they could never be good enough to know that they are. You can be a bumbling idiot, and you can keep fucking shit up, and you can take four goddamn years to stubbornly finish one stupid work of fanfic... and no one cares.

What people care about is your heart. Are you a good fucking person, yes or no? Do you actually give a shit about the people around you?

Or do you just want them to give a shit about you.

If some of you acted in the real world the way you act online, you would be laughed out of existence. In ANY space. Nowhere would be "safe" because you would still be a piece of shit. And that's the appeal for some people, I get that. The anonymity of the internet gives them the ability to say and do all the horrible things they wouldn't do IRL (absolutely fucking HILARIOUS, btw, how that's one of the things at least some of them get their panties in such a twist about, too, but that's a whole different rant for a whole different day). I don't understand it, but I get it. Only that warps everyone else's view of what fandom or other spaces/communities are actually like.

And what sort of behavior is acceptable in those spaces.

So I am here to tell you, this fucking bullshit is not acceptable.

For example, using my current most active fandom, I have a list a mile along of complaints about various aspects of the Mass Effect franchise. Some of them extremely minor, some of them a little less so. Do you know what being an obnoxious asshole to other fans, and in fan-specific spaces, about those complaints does to help anyone or anything? Jack and shit. It doesn't do ANTHING. Literally the only thing that accomplishes is making that space uninhabitable for people who do not share my opinion, or who don't care to focus on the negativity, or blah blah blah a million other fucking reasons.

You are more than entitled to have whatever opinion you damn well please. But if 99.9% of what you want to do is hate on something, make your own "Hate On This Thing" place and invite all your fellow trolls and haters. Have a whole fucking goddamn party, I don't give a shit. I'll even buy you the drinks. Just leave the rest of us alone.

You're toxic waste and I'm sick of looking at you.

Some of you are literally children and I forgive you, because you don't know any better and clearly aren't being taught any better. But some of you are supposedly in your 20s and 30s etc. are you're just pieces of literal human garbage. And at least in part you're the ones teaching the younger crowd how to be smaller pieces of human garbage. Because you're trying to be "cool" or something?

I don't even fucking know but if so god that's so pathetic it makes me insane LOL but I guess that's another rant for another day because I'm getting way off topic here...

When I first started posting BH&R in 2017 after BioWare announced they were giving up on MEA, BECAUSE THE ENTIRE FANDOM IS A DUMPSTER FIRE FULL OF BULLIES AND ASSHOLES do you know what one of my first experiences of feedback was? Someone telling me I'm horrible and problematic and blah blah blah for fetishizing two Hispanic characters. Because my relationship tags were Scott/Reyes and Scott/Vega. This person knew jack shit about me, and I'm almost positive they hadn't even read any of my story because I'm not sure Reyes had even appeared in it yet. Vega certainly hadn't, aside from maybe his name. And they certainly had no way of knowing that MY Vega is aspec, because I hadn't shared any of Sleeping With Ghosts yet... the list goes on, but basically this person made a whole shit ton of assumptions and, in the name of "Wokeness," sent me some less than friendly anons here on Tumblr.

And, I won't lie, that is a part of why I stopped updating for so long.

Because I let some dumbass get in my head.

This is nothing new. This sort of thing happens all the time now.

This is unacceptable.

When I came back last year and started posting again, I stumbled into @radio-chatter and she tried to convince me to chat with one or two other people who were active in the fandom, among them @satashiiwrites. And do you know what I did? I RAN FOR THE HILLS lol. I not only didn't talk to these new people, I also stopped talking to her. I wanted no part of it. In part because my experience with this fandom had not been great up to that point. And, perhaps even in larger part, because I took one look at their AO3 stats and decided I could not sit at that table. Probably didn't even want to.

Guess what? I was wrong.

I know we had a few Tumblr-type interactions, and on Discord, but let me tell you about the one I remember most. The day I finished BH&R.

The day I actually completed BH&R I posted here on Tumblr because I was so fucking excited. This was the first time I'd finished ANY work at all since before AO3 existed, and I'm like 99% sure it's the first time I've ever shared any work that was 100% my own (as I mentioned, I come from rp fandom for the most part as a "creator").

And the two of them reblogged my post, and they were so excited for me and cheering me on, and blah blah blah. At the time it was kinda random and unexpected. And I spent like an hour grinning like a fool.

Now let me be clear, neither one of them have actually read BH&R, to my knowledge, nor do I believe they are interested in doing so.

And I am 100% okay with that. In fact I prefer it, because fandom has all this stupid bullshit pressure, and it makes me insane. No. Stop.

They were cheering for and supporting me.

As, like, a fellow human being.

And maybe a fellow writer, too, I guess. But it wasn't about my story. And it wasn't because I had supported them or reblogged their shit so they felt obligated or some other stupid crap like that which I hate.

It was just them as humans reaching out and being amazing. So, I reached back out to them. And now I consider them friends.

Listen to me: I don't make friends. LOL.

I'm not an easy person to get along with, not because I'm unfriendly but because I'm awkward and I overshare or I don't speak at all and it's just a nightmare having anything to do with me, really, but they do it. We don't (always, at least) have the same headcanons or ships or types of fic that we like, etc. but we respect each other as people.

It's literally not hard.

If BioWare is your only fandom experience, I am begging you to branch out. BioWare is trash. And I don't mean the devs/studio or the games. I mean the fandom. It is hot garbage, and it is not at all representative of the larger fandom community as a whole.

There's something called the golden rule (at least where I come from), you've probably heard of it in some form but it boils down to "treat people the way you want to be treated." And I honestly think that would solve so many of the world's problems.

But what the fuck do I know?

I'm just some trained monkey who writes fanfic...

And if you are in BioWare and you stubbornly love it as much as I do, come say hi. I'm a multi-shipping whore and I'll talk about anything. I have EXACTLY one squick and that is Mpreg but even then it's a "this is not for me but it's cool if you like it" and I'll talk about it with you, I'm just not a fan. I'm not gonna call for your head on a spike or w/e.

I even know a few cool people I can introduce you to.

If you want to make some real friends, that is.

#I'm a rambling hot mess of a human #this post WILL reflect that #you have my deepest sympathy and apologies in advance #<3 #BioWare critical #fandom critical #fandom life #qb is salty

[itsclydebitches]

Hey there! Admittedly I'm a little bit nervous since this is my first ask, but I'll try to not be too rambly.

So, recently the main subreddit, r/RWBY, made a ban on active users of the r/RWBYcritics subreddit. As a result there's been discussion around bad-faith criticism in the latter subreddit. What are your takes on bad-faith criticism?

For me personally, I think a bunch of people are misusing the term "bad-faith" and using it as a way to shut down criticism, but I'm curious to hear your thoughts on it.

Hey there, everyone! We woke up to some drama this morning, huh? And hello to you too, Tortoise! I'm so glad you decided to send in an ask, even if it's following some pretty tumultuous events...

Right, I'd like to start with a story. The story of how I personally don't spend time on Reddit, but I have plenty of friends who will occasionally cross-post something for me to see. Yesterday (or the day before? Idk time is meaningless) a friend told me about a post — which, significantly, I'm now having trouble finding — that covers RWBY's inconsistent writing and the fandom's tendency to try and explain away those missteps. They'd thought I'd be interested because I'd just had a conversation here on tumblr where I made that exact point to someone who, also significantly, vehemently disagreed with me, but in a very civil fashion. Given everything going on, I feel like this side point needs emphasis: we debated, we did so in a sometimes heated, but nevertheless respectful manner, it was clear neither of us was going to sway the other, and the conversation ended. The two "sides" of the community interacted without Armageddon coming about.

But back to the purpose of this tale. I went to take a look at this point and found that it no longer exists. There's just some vague message about it not obeying the subreddit's rules. "What happened?" I asked. "Why'd they take the post down?" "People were getting too heated in the comments," my friend replies. So, given that the comments were still visible, I proceeded to read through them, expecting personal attacks, slurs, harassment, etc. Any number of things that would justify deleting the post itself to put an end to such behavior. Instead, I found a thread of people having a conversation. Was the conversation heated at times? Sure. Did one or two individual posters edge into the realm of petulant, "No. You're wrong and stupid" responses? Yes. Was any of this remotely what I was expecting given the post's removal? NOPE.

"This isn't allowed?" I said. "Well then what is? People were being civil! Or at least as civil as hundreds of strangers ever get when discussing a series they're passionate about online."

Then, this morning, I hear that the entire critic subreddit has been banned.

So to answer your question, Tortoise, I don't actually think that "good faith" criticism exists. Meaning, it's not just that fans are misusing the term "bad faith criticism," but rather that there is no unified, agreed up method of writing criticism that will meet their standards. It's not possible and we know it's not possible because fans have been trying to meet those elusive standards for years:

A fan posts nothing but praise for RWBY until changes make them criticize the show as it is now. Their entire body of work is dismissed as the product of a "hater," despite the overwhelming gap between positive and negative reviews.

A fan posts a review that's a pretty balanced mix between praise and criticism. They're dismissed because it's still too much criticism.

A fan posts a review that's 99% praise with 1% criticism. That's still too much, with fans focusing on the single problem they had with the work and using it as an excuse to dismiss the entire review out of hand.

(As an aside, the argument that critics are "obsessed" with only saying negative things and that the only problem here is that they're "too" negative ignores the argument that... RWBY has a lot of flaws nowadays. Few are willing to acknowledge the possibility that it's not fans insisting on making things up to be mad about/ignoring the good parts of the show, it's the that show is, as of now, legitimately more of a mess than it is a praise-worthy product. If I'd been writing recaps in the Volumes 1-4 days, my work would have been skewed far more towards the positive. The critics' stance is that RWBY has gotten worse, which yes, results a higher volume of critical posts. To say nothing of how criticism takes far longer to explain, likewise resulting in posts focused primarily on that side of the divide. I really enjoyed the image of a crying Jaune reflected in his sword. I did not enjoy that moment's context. Saying that you liked an animation choice is a one sentence thing. Explaining the complexities of Jaune securing emotional moments, the problems with Penny's second death, the hurt many fans experienced watching an assisted suicide, etc. takes a whooole lot longer. Hence, you get massive, multiple posts about these nuanced topics and fewer, smaller posts about the details that are working well.)

A fan talks about a topic that has been metaphorically banned by the fandom as a whole. They have something good to say about Ironwood. They dislike something about Blake/Yang. They enjoyed Adam as a character. They have a problem with Ruby's leadership, etc. There's a whole list of topics nowadays that will result in an automatic dismissal, regardless of the point the fan is trying to make or how well they make it.

A fan talks about the minority representation of RWBY — its black characters, its queer characters, its disabled characters, etc. — and as a result has something to say about the biases and missteps of those writing these characters. This is considered an attack on the writers and, therefore, automatically bad.

A fan talks about how they enjoyed RWBY as it was years ago and is having trouble reconciling the dark, complicated story with the simple, hopeful one we started out with. This is seen as an attack on Monty's vision and an unwillingness to accept that "everything is planned."

A fan does as asked and ensures that their post is meeting all the requirements of "real" criticism. They have an argument to make. They have a point. They provide evidence. They recommend a solution. They keep their tone respectful. They don't attack the creators. They provide disclaimers in every single paragraph about how they do not hate RWBY. It doesn't matter. They're considered too negative.

I have, quite literally, seen every one of the above examples on multiple occasions. I have had many of the above accusations leveled at my own work. When fans say that they're fine with criticism provided it's not "bad faith" criticism, they don't actually have a specific post-type in mind; a checklist of behaviors another fan can emulate and, provided they do that, no hate will come their way. Or, if an individual fan does actually go, "Yeah. That criticism I'm fine with" that response is in no way universal. One person's "They make a good, civil point" is another person's, "Omg stop bashing the show!" Because "bashing" has come to mean everything from curse-laden insults towards everything RWBY has ever done, to posts that just happen to say something other fans don't agree with.

It's a rigged game. There is no way to post criticism about RWBY in an agreed-upon, appropriate manner. This recent ban is proof of that. I think it's incredibly telling that almost immediately after I was going, "Wow. A pretty calm debate about the flaws of RWBY in the main sub. That's great to see," all posters from the criticism subreddit were banned. The main sub literally just had the sort of criticism that they claim to accept — people respectfully posting analysis-based arguments resulting in calm debate — and yet they implemented the ban anyway. I'm not going to pretend that I've never gotten too heated on my own posts, never made snarky comments when I'm frustrated, never used exaggerated reaction GIFs that can come across as insulting... but I'd say on the whole my RWBY work is precisely the sort of "good faith" criticism that other fans are supposedly looking for. I never make an argument I don't think I can back up with evidence. I try to allow for the nuance and differing opinions of complicated topics. I try — even if I don't always succeed — to write in a clear, respectful manner. Yet none of that work has stopped people from telling me I'm a "bitter... raging asshole," a "deranged, delusional psychopath," telling me to set myself on fire, threatening to smash my head in, or just messages to straight up kill myself. If someone like me who legitimately works hard to create fair, defendable criticism and who only ever posts on a personal blog that people can easily block, who never engages in debate until someone else starts it first, never seeks out other fans I disagree with to harass them about what they like... if someone like me is still a "bad faith" critic who "deserves" that kind of hate mail... then what kind of criticism do people want?

Nothing. That's the answer. No criticism whatsoever, of any kind, no matter if it's delivered respectfully, is making a good point, whatever. That's why "RWDE" was created. That's why the critic subreddit was created. The community at large has demanded a complete separation between Praise and Anything That's Not 100% Praise, which has now resulted in this ban. Any other explanations we see are excuses, which becomes glaringly obvious when you look at the mods' supposed reasons for implementing the ban:

"Constant arguments with r/RWBY users" - As opposed to the arguments surrounding things like shipping that never, ever happen?

"Vote manipulation and comment brigades" - The subreddit with 3,000 participants, with around 200 on at a time, is manipulating the votes of a subreddit with 155,000 participants, with over 1,000 on at a time? Those numbers just do not check out. If a positive post is downvoted, or a critical post upvoted, maybe that's because large swaths of the community actually agree/disagree with that assessment, not because the incredibly smaller group is somehow manipulating things.

"Attacking and harassing those they disagree with" — Again, as opposed to those non-critics that never, ever harass people? This is an individual problem, not a community problem. Both critics and non-critics have their sub-groups acting in ways they shouldn't. If anything, the main sub will have more individuals harassing other fans, simply by virtue of being so much larger. As the above examples attest, it's not other critics who have told me to light myself on fire and, just to be clear, the asks I've responded to are a miniscule number compared to the amount I've received. I delete the lion's share for my own sanity and to save my followers from reading the really graphic threats.

"Months-long NSFL spam brigades" — I am, admittedly, not sure what this is referring to. Spamming of NSFW content? If so, that's also an individual problem.

"Homophobic, transphobic, and racist attacks towards our users" — See the above points. Again. If someone is being homophobic, transphobic, or racist, then yes please, ban them. Don't ban an entire community for the actions of a few. It's like walking into a store and banning a customer for causing a scene... but then also banning everyone else who happened to be shopping at the same time. It's guilt by association.

The silver lining to all this? The community as a whole isn't pleased. At least according to the main subreddit comments and a few individual voices like MurderofBirds. Despite the increase (from my perspective anyway) of critical voices post-Volume 8, criticism of RWBY is still very much seen as taboo. As this ban showcases. But it's really reassuring to see so many fans, critics and non-critics alike, going, "This was a mistake." A community is meant to include all aspects of engagement: praise, criticism, and the gray area between. If anything, fans like the mods of the main subreddit should be creating a separate subreddit that is specifically for praise. In the same way that there should have been a tag for RWBY praise, rather than trying to eliminate any and all criticism from the main "RWBY" tag. The majority of fans, even those who claim to hate critics and all they (presumably) stand for, recognize that a blanket ban of all criticism is not the way to go, especially when "criticism" has come to have such a staggeringly broad definition. If you want your RWBY experience to be nothing but sunshine and roses (ha), then cultivate your own internet experience to reflect that. Create your own pockets with rules about how this is the space for praise and if you're not up for praising RWBY right now, don't interact with us in this particular space. Don't try to make the entire community — the main tools used to discuss the show online — conform to your preferences. As established, there is no "good" criticism that everyone in the fandom will accept, which just leaves a fandom with no criticism at all. I'm glad to see I'm far from the only one who, when presented with that extreme, is going, "Nope. No thank you."

#rwby #mymetas #suicide tw #rwde

[anthrogothic]

Body/Prision

~Well, this is the first fic I've posted (not that I've written many). Maybe I found it interesting to explore the emotional and psychological side of the clones and, of course, Echo. Besides, of course, other little things. Hope you like it. 🥺 (and sorry for any mistake as this fic was originally written in brazilian portuguese).

Second part heeeeree

Pairing: Echo x fem!Reader (in this chapter only Hunter and Wrecker appear for now)

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Body insecurity and bullying.

You were always a woman of science. Curious, persistent and genius. As a child, you loved growing plants and watching animals. Sometimes experimented with changing the color of flowers in jars with colorful products or hatching small eggs of birds and reptiles in small boxes bathed in light and heated cloths. You once set fire to his parents Aldeeranian Silk curtains, after pointing a magnifying glass in front of the sunlight streaming through the windows.

No wonder you was one of the top students at Naboo's Faculty of Science when was older. After all, you were one of the few females in your class. Being constantly the victim of offensive comments and jokes, mainly because of baggy clothes that didn't mark your body, adopted after years of harassment for your sharp curves. Your glasses and voluminous hair didn't do much for the "jokes" to stop. Withdrawn in any group of popular and partying colleagues, you had nothing but to study with your few fellow “nerds”.

As a result, you soon got your first job in the field. Standing out so much that you was invited to participate in the cloning processes on Kamino a few times, even creating a certain professional relationship with Nala Se, the chief scientist.

You weren't a fan of cloning, even though it was incredible, you found it somewhat unethical in relation to the impact on the lives of Jango Fett clones. They weren't just battle products or numbers to you, but Human Beings with as many rights as anyone else. That they should have autonomy over their lives. But work is not always 100% pleasant, as much as it is something you love as long as you understand being human.

With your occasional visits to Kamino, you ended up having the sympathy of the clones, precisely for treating them like ordinary people, with different names and personalities despite the identical DNA and their fateful serial numbers.

You even ate with them in the cafeteria instead of the staff room and played with them in your free time and some would sneak men's uniforms for you, who were too bothered by the looks and teasing you received in your tight women's uniform.

One day, during a typical meal with your friends, a tone of laughter and nasty comments made you take your attention off your plate.

You poked your clone friend in the shoulder on your right.

"What is happening?"

He, without even looking up, snorted a laugh and spoke before taking the meal to his mouth:

"So you don't know the subject of the moment? There is a new squad among us. Weird… but they haven't suffered a single casualty on the field so far."

You raised an eyebrow, craning your neck a few times in an attempt to see something.

"I was not informed of this. I have not been assigned to inspect newly graduated soldiers for some time. But why the laughter and so much whispering?"

Deep in your brain, the bitter memory of your college days was pulled.

Your friend gave you an incredulous look, gesturing to find the right words to avoid any reprimand from you:

"They… well… are technically defective. Very different from us. No wonder they nicknamed them The Bad Batch."

He stifled a laugh. Soon getting punched in the arm accompanied by a scowl from you.

"Okay, okay. Forgive me, clone rights advocate."

His irony was clear, making you roll your eyes and get up, heading towards the counter where they left the used dishes. After thanking the wrinkled green lady who served the meal, you turned in the direction of leaving the cafeteria, but a sharp impact on your face and chest propels you back, followed by a lot of pain and strong hands gripping your elbows.

"Hey! Are you okay?"

A familiar, but deeper and stronger voice resonated in your ears, making you open your eyes faster than you normally would, as you bring your hand to your forehead and in the background thanking the Maker for wearing contact lenses instead of glasses today . It took you a while to map the face of the man in front of you. His long dark hair fell to his shoulders, his red bandana letting out a few shorter strands across his forehead, his almond-shaped eyes looking a little worried, and finally, a tattoo that covered the entire left part of his face.

He was familiar…but at the same time very different from the other clones. Even the armor, grey and red. Definitely seeing a different face in that cafeteria was a bit intriguing.

"I think you broke her, Hunter!"

A loud, husky voice came from behind you, making you turn your back to the tattooed man, just to behold the huge soldier who covered your entire field of vision.

He was huge, broad and with perfectly shaped muscles. Gradually, your eyes traveled from his abdomen, across his broad chest to his face. This one had no hair. He had a blind eye, with a huge scar running from there to the ear. The clone's good eye looked you up and down, literally.

"I'm fine… sorry… I-"

You were shocked by the image of both men. Could it be they who your friend had spoken of?

You can barely complete your sentence when interrupted by a clone next to you.

"Well well. The scientist and her laboratory freaks. How comical..."

He didn't even stop to stare at you, being followed by two other clones who clearly enjoyed the bad joke.

The men beside you clenched their fists and the bigger one growled, taking long, heavy strides in front of you, until he was stopped by the tattooed-faced clone, who practically jumped in front of him, bracing a hand on his chest.

"Forget it, Wrecker. It's not worth it… and we can't take another warning for assault in the cafeteria."

The taller one nodded a few seconds later, clearly disappointed not to get his hands on his attacker.

With slow steps, you approached them, curious and also irritated by the other clone's words.

"Idiots."

You huffed, crossing your arms over your voluminous breasts.

"You are the new squad the others are talking about, aren't you?"

There was a certain wonder in your voice now.

"Force Clone 99, doctor!"

The two said in chorus, with clear pride in their words and saluting.

"The rest of the team is going through the assessment upstairs. Miraculously we both got through!"

Said the taller clone, with humor in his voice, pulling a smirk from the tattooed clone.

You smiled, even more in awe of them. They were beautiful, unique and not "sloppy".

"Nice to meet you Hunter and… Wrecker, isn't it? My name is Y/N, I work in the lab."

The two looked at each other, minimally polite treatment to the clones was a little rare around here.

"We've heard about you. Won't you give me a warning? For… bumping into you?"

Hunter was a little suspicious, moving closer to you, watching your forehead. Looking for any evidence of injury.

"Oh no, of course not. It was an accident. I also barely looked where I was going."

You tried to be as gentle as possible, despite your brow and nose bothering you, already realizing that it couldn't be too easy for them to get along with each other. You continued:

"Trust me, I know what it's like to be bothered all the time by little jokes and to have people pick on me out of simple dislike. I'm not like the rest of the employees."

Wrecker approached you, already with a content expression on his face.

"There is! I liked her! At least someone here doesn't hate us!"

The clone pulled you into a hug, pressing his side with yours. You blushed a little, as physical contact was never common with you.

Hunter continued with a suspicious expression and his arms now crossed, making him even more imposing, just taking the look off your face, when the communicator you carried in your pocket beeped.

Brought out of your reverie by Wrecker's tight embrace and Hunter's form, you picked up your communicator to read the newly arrived messages.

"Uh… I need to go. Nala Se never give me a break. See you later guys. Hope to meet the rest of you!"

You headed towards the exit, leaving a sympathetic smile as you left the clones. They were still there, trying to absorb how kind you, a scientist, were to them.

#tbb x reader #echo x reader #star wars #the bad batch x reader #the clone wars #fanfic #hunter x reader #arc trooper echo #clone simp #body/prision #echo x you #echo x fem reader #echo x y/n #star wars x reader #clone wars x reader #clone trooper x reader

[wanderlustinwonderland18]

Stepanova & Bukin: “Our Fans Really Want Us To Be Together”

How do you feel about being the new Russian National Champions?

Vanya: Wow! To be honest, we didn't get enough sleep. It was a busy time. We sat, talked with the team, discussed a lot. This was our first competition in a long time, so we were a little exhausted.

Sasha: So far, we don't really feel that something major has happened, but the assessment of our coaches is very important for us. They didn't know how we would perform. Yes, the coaches did everything to make us perform well. But from the very start, everything depended only on us... And we managed to perform well so many thanks to our team for this.

Vanya: In general, we liked everything very much. We missed the audience a lot and we hope to perform somewhere else soon. Yes, there are nerves, but they are very pleasant nerves. Competition is great.

Is this national title the main award of your career?

Sasha: No. We have silver and bronze medals from European Championships. We have also performed well at World Championships. The situation here is completely different in all aspects. We had a different task... But overall, we are very pleased with the title of Russian National Champions.

Vanya: Yes, indeed, this is the first time for us. The support was great. Even though the arena was only 35 percent capacity, we felt incredible warmth.

Is the lack of vivid emotions due to the fact your main competitors were not here?

Sasha: Yes, many skaters were missing in Chelyabinsk. It’s a pity that this is the case. We, ourselves, were not able to participate in early competitions such as the Grand Prix in Moscow.

Vanya: For instance, Dima Aliev did not compete here although we were expecting him. We are friends with him, and we communicate a lot. We hope to meet the entire Russian team after the New Year.

Did this situation personally blur the impression of the Russian Championships?

Sasha: Of course. In addition, the federation indicated that this is not the final selection for the World Championships. We simply perceived it as a certain stage where we need to show what we are capable of.

Vanya: On the other hand, the fact that it was our first competition in a long time added more importance to it.

Is it a shame that Europeans got cancelled, while everything goes well in other sports?

Vanya: Of course, it's upsetting.

Sasha: I don’t really follow what is happening in other sports, but the cancellation of our Europeans was not a surprise. Everything pointed towards this direction gradually. We were ready for this news. We understand that holding a competition in such conditions is difficult and unsafe.

How do you feel now?

Sasha: I’m good now, thanks.

Vanya: Yes, we have already recovered.

You guys joked at the press conference that you were unlucky, because you were ill with COVID at different times.

(Sasha and Vanya laugh)

Sasha: Well, yes, we were really out of luck.

How did this happen? You spend so much time together.

Sasha: At first, I just caught a cold. There was bronchitis or something like that. I got better and then fell ill again, but with COVID. I don't know why that happened, but after I got sick, the coaches and Vanya fell ill.

Vanya: Why this happened is still a mystery to us. It is very incomprehensible.

How did you handle the disease?

Vanya: It was not easy. I had palpable lung damage. The temperature was monitored for a very long time, and the dose of antibiotics was quite strong. The hardest part is not how I got sick, but how I went back to the ice. It was very strange and a little scary.

Sasha: You may be fine at home, but as soon as you go out on the ice, you immediately start coughing due to the cold air and the slightest exertion. Usually for us, skating in circles is nothing at all... But after the illness, the body perceives it as a serious threat and reacts instantly. It is scary. You start thinking: "How am I going to skate now?"

Did it come to hospitalizations?

Sasha and Vanya: No.

Vanya: Fortunately, it didn't come to that. I didn't have extreme temperatures (around 37.5 to 38 only). The only problem is that it lasted a long time. Sasha’s condition was different though. High temperatures in the beginning, but the illness quickly disappeared.

Sasha: In my case, it started with a common cold, then the whole body began to ache. I came back from training and it felt like someone was breaking all my bones from the inside. Then, body temperature began to rise. The maximum was over 39. I immediately took antibiotics. The state itself was unpleasant - you go to the kitchen, or to the bathroom and you are already very tired. You also hear how you breathe.

Sasha, I looked at your Instagram and came to the conclusion that you love black and white tones. Why is that?

Sasha: In black and white, there is...

Vanya: Magic.

Sasha: Yes, some kind of charm. Many photographs look better in black and white. I like the lines and shadows.

Do you hear from fans a lot?

Sasha: Very much! Just yesterday, one fan gave gifts through the coaches. She loves our group very much, follows us to all competitions. From my understanding, she is not alone. It is just her who communicates with us. I called for a photo session, but unfortunately, this has not yet happened because of the virus situation. But yes, they write a lot! They post stories, write long messages. Sometimes I read and tears come, people give a lot of themselves. You think how this is possible. Many are busy with family and work, but they take time for us.

Vanya: Most of the times, they post our reactions to performances. This has already become a meme! We have been compared to animals. Sasha recently reposted a picture where I am a dog who smiles, and she is a serious cat. In many shots, myself and Irina Vasilievna (Zhuk) are explosive, and Sasha and Alexander Vasilievich (Svinin) are more restrained. It’s cool and funny!

Does this reflect your nature?

Vanya: I’m probably more emotional after performances. I keep everything to myself so much that it just breaks at the end. Sasha, on the other hand, gives so much to the performances and at the end, she has nothing left.

Are you offended by any comments?

Vanya: Some comments are very interesting. There have certainly been times where I wanted to respond, but realized that it was pointless. It is nonsense.

Sasha: Because you will be invested in it.

Vanya: Now, I laugh at such comments. If a person doesn't like something and expresses their opinion, please, especially if it is really constructive criticism. When you see that this is not the first time a person has written, and really understands figure skating, you can listen to this... But there are some that just write for the sake of saying something.

Sasha: Yes, there are some who throw out unnecessary emotions based on nothing.

Has it ever happened that thanks to a person's comment, you changed something in your performance?

Vanya: A couple of times.

Sasha: It is not with regards to steps and technical issues though. Most comments are like “I want power, brightness.” At such moments, you can reconsider and decide that, indeed, something is missing somewhere.

It happens that unpleasant things are written by fans of other teams.

Vanya: I'm okay with this, but if you like another couple, why are you writing under our post? Go to your guys and write good things.

Sasha, you are sometimes compared to Victoria Sinitsina? Are you okay with this?

Sasha: Yes, absolutely! We sometimes laugh about our similarities. We also have common views on wardrobe sometimes.

What about the comments that you and Vanya would make a good pair in real life?

Sasha: It's fun too.

Vanya: On one hand, that is a compliment because it means that we can show real emotions on the ice. People believe in our story and think that we are also together behind the scenes... But we have already said many times that we are not a couple in real life, so it is quite strange when people ask about this.

Sasha: It's very cute though!

Vanya: Those who have been with us for a long time know that we are not together, but our fans really want us to be together.

Do you follow the situation regarding Russia's two-year sentence? You guys already had some bad experiences in the past with this decision.

Sasha: Yes, we heard this news. As far as I understand, the consequences could be much worse - all athletes from Russia could be expelled indiscriminately. They could say, "Russia, goodbye." But we are still allowed to compete. Let it be without the anthem at the World Championships and the Olympics, but on our form, the name of the country can still be written. This is already pleasant for us. I do not know all the little details, but in this situation, I want to find something positive.

Vanya: Of course, we are upset, because this is our country. We would very much like to perform with the flag and anthem. But the decision has been made, and nothing can be done. We will calmly prepare for all the major competitions. It remains to be seen how athletes will be admitted to the Olympics.

What would you change in ice dance to make it more popular?

Vanya: Ice Dance is a very creative sport. Everything should look simple, easy, and unpredictable with us. In my opinion, to make our sport more popular, teams must be given more freedom for creativity. Then, the couples will not be alike. We have many rules that do not allow us to go beyond.

Sasha: In general, the rules are made for judges. Previously, ice dance judging was based on "like it or not like it."

Do you have long-term career plans?

Vanya: This season has shown that it is difficult to plan the future. We have decided to live day by day, and prepare for specific events. There have been many times where we plan a lot, and in the end, the plan does not come true.

Do you think about life after sports?

Sasha: I do not have any serious thoughts. Maybe participate in shows, but there are no specific plans. However, I can definitely say that I want to stay in figure skating and take a new role in the sport. For now, we still have a lot to accomplish. We have just reached the top level. We have just started receiving recognition from the audience.

Vanya: And we are very grateful to our fans. When new broke out that we were sick, many wrote to us and supported us. It is really motivating!

Do you have plans for the New Year holidays?

Sasha: I would like to go to the skating rink in front of the Red Square. I have never been to massive street skating rinks, so I want to feel this atmosphere.

Vanya: Oh cool! Let's go and invite everyone!

A small wish to your fans at the end of the interview?

Sasha: Health and love. Be happy no matter what. Live everyday.

Vanya: To make all your dreams come true in the New Year.

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