#I’m feeling so many things

[taeminie]

said through a speakerphone i feel you linger in the air is one of the best dramas i’ve ever seen!!!

#i can’t pinpoint one scene that made me go WOW #like it’s every scene down to the editing and production and scenery #the characters are amazing and COMPLETE #and the storyline is so beautiful #i’m feeling so many things #i feel you linger in the air

[anoriginalderivative]

i love you intuitive eating, i love you being in touch with your body/feelings, i love you loving and accepting your health based on how you feel instead of how you look, i love you interpreting cravings as a potential nutritional need, i love you listening to your body the way you deserved to be listened to as a child

#look! #i did a joke format! #anyway #i’m feeling so many things #ive been more in touch with my body than ever in my life #and it’s been the most intense spiritual and psychological experience of my life #i wish everyone could have a welcome home party back into their bodies #pain and trauma are a bitch

[nerdyenby]

Just heard hermitgang all the way through for the first time and my jaw is on the floor

#/pos #hermitcraft #hermitblr #it’s so cringe but it’s genuinely good too #I’m feeling so many things #i have no words

[hushimstressed]

Do NOT listen to Slipping Through My Fingers after watching the Wilbur stream you WILL start sobbing uncontrollably at 2am 💥💥💯💀😭🔥💔😭😭💯

#mcyt #qsmp #wilbur soot #I’m feeling so many things

[ilovenikkisixx]

speechless

#gerard way #my chemical romance #mcr #my chem gerard #return era #seeing g in a skirt is just a common occurrence now #i’m feeling so many things #the boots #THE TIGHTS #gway #mcr firefly

[an-eala-bhan]

Just finished “High Noon Over Camelot”

#the mechanisms #high noon over camelot #wtf man #who gave them the right #holy shit #i’m feeling so many things #but holy shit #that album is amazing #i have so many thoughts #and not enough words #I actually thought there might be a happy ending #like the fool I am #I have been played #like the cheap kazoo I am

[kinseyscottage]

fuck billie did it again.. wrote yet another beautiful masterpiece that hit way too close to home and put all of my unspoken feelings into words and now i’m sitting here on the brink of an existential crisis and utter meltdown at 10AM

#i’m feeling so many things #she never fails to amaze me #billie eilish #billie eilish lyrics #tv #kinsey’s diary 🌻

[jungk0oksthighs]

i know nobody asked but here’s a little life update that i really want to share with you all: tw: abuse. tw: sui mention. (non descriptive but this is a low-key sad post, but also not really sad actually the opposite but abuse is a heavy theme)

yesterday i discovered that my abu$!v3 ex boyfriend and his girlfriend of two months split up. just like he did with me, he lied to her, manipulated and love bombed her, gaslit her and shockingly enough: cheated on her too. (i know all in the space of a two months tf) now i’m not gonna be the ex that says “yeah well she knew what he did to me so she should’ve seen it coming-“ like no; he probably didn’t divulge into the details of our relationship and if he did he 100% made me out to be the villain of our story. he’s very good at that. i have nothing but raw sympathy for the girl, i’ve been there, but in a way i’m thankful that she found out now as opposed to later down the line. i wish i had an early escape from him. anyway:

what i wanted to share with you all was the relief i felt, because to me this is further confirmation that i was never the problem. it was nothing i did. he didn’t cheat on me because of me. it wasn’t because i look a certain way or act a certain way. it had nothing to do with me, what he put me through. the lies, the manipulation, the gaslighting, love bombing etc. making me doubt myself and my truth, dampening my dreams and stripping me of every ounce of personality, passion and love that i had.

i don’t want sympathy!! that’s not why i’m posting this!!!! i’m actually in a really good place right now, and knowing that what he put me through isn’t a reflection of me but a reflection of himself is just… there are no words to explain what i’m feeling. it’s like relief mixed with smugness and the way your mouth falls open when you have a eureka moment and there’s a bittersweet ache in my heart too.

ofc all my friends and family told me repeatedly it was never about me and that he’ll do it again and again and again and move from victim to victim, but actually knowing that, having someone say to me: ‘did you hear what happened? he did the same thing to her.’ it’s such a strange feeling. i feel sorry for the girl, i really do. i’ve never interacted with her because even if i did try to ‘warn her’ i would’ve been made out to be the psycho jealous ex girlfriend, honestly some of the shit he says about me… wild. so i didn’t want to get involved with that and i genuinely thought maybe he’s changed in the last 8 months who am i to say he hasn’t? maybe he was only like that with me, because it was me

no, it really wasn’t about me. i wish i could go back in time to january laura who literally wrote a sui note and didn’t eat for fifteen days straight because i was convinced if i looked different maybe he’d still love me. maybe if i dyed my hair, or what if i got my tattoos removed? it’s because i have big hips and thighs isn’t it? maybe i should stop doing makeup and spend more time at home. baby no, january laura no. it was never about the way you look, or because of your hobbies and interests. it was never about you girl. i cried myself to sleep every night for three months because that man fucking broke me. i genuinely didn’t know who i was anymore. and just when i started healing he toyed with me again and said he’d changed, slept with me, told me he still loved me and that he made a mistake, messed my head up only to say two days later: “it’s not what i wanted after all guess i was wrong lol. i’m not even attracted to u never have been dunno why i said i love you cause that’s just a lie.” another two months of agony, self-hatred, tears.

cut to now things have been better, i’m healing slowly and learning how to love myself and rediscover my passions (eyyyy ya girl started writing again hehe). BUT KNOWING FOR A FACT that he’s done it again, to someone who isn’t me. who doesn’t look like me. who doesn’t have my likes and interests, therefore it was never about me, is such a powerful feeling. i cannot put it into words, it’s the closure i thought i’d never get. i’m just??? i’m not happy that he’s tore someone else down, but i’m happy for me. this is what i needed, what january laura needed and i feel so light and free and blessed that i made it this far to have this realisation.

i guess the real reason why i’m writing this, and i don’t really expect any of u to read this but i don’t keep a diary so in a way this is very therapeutic for me to dump my thoughts and emotions here, this post is mostly for myself if anything. but why i’m writing this is just to say… if anyone can relate to my situation (ofc i’ve never gone into heavy detail here that’s what i have a therapist for LOL) but if there’s someone out there with a broken heart, who feels unloveable and doesn’t know anything about themselves anymore: things do get better. hang in there. i know everyone says it everybody said it to me and i was like yeah yeah ok sure, but trust me, as someone who has lived and breathed this life - things do get better.

abusers don’t abuse their victims because they’re their victims.

they abuse their victims because they’re abusers.

#tw: sui mention #tw: abuse #I feel like I my heart is ready to love again now that I know I’m not unloveable #i’m feeling so many things #and I really wanted to get this all off my chest #like #gosh I’m sorry guys I’m just in my feelings tonight and this is like free therapy

[selescope]

seems like a good night to listen to heathers & cry

#i’m feeling so many things

[lawfullyneutralbee]

Draco Malfoy:

“I'll kill him for you," he whispered after a moment, and she shivered. "For what he's done to you. Better yet, when we're done—when we have what we need—I'll hold him while you cast the spell that kills him. He won't get away from his crimes, Hermione. Not here. Not there. Not anywhere."

—- Paradox By: Olivieblake Chp 5

UHHHHHHGGGG

#paradox by Olivieblake #olivie blake #dramione fanfic #dramione #draco malfoy #i’m feeling so many things #so many conflicting emotions #such a love hate relationship between me and time travel fics

[demontoucansam]

my handsome, precious little quack of a man

#I’m feeling so many things #so ominous grasp towards William today #let me play with his hair and run my hands all over him please #william agar #quacks

[pearl-blue-musings]

Elle! you are gonna be thirty, flirty and thriving!!!

I sure hope so!!! You’re so sweet fjendkwndkwn

#elle’s musical moots #ella ⚛️ #i’m feeling so many things

[masnmounts]

it’s 4am and i’m reading mason smut

#i’m feeling so many things

[an-eala-bhan]

...KIDNAPPING??????????

#wolf 359 spoilers #wolf 359 podcast #wolf 359 #what?? what #what the living fuck #doug eiffel #what the hell man #what is happening right now #so much is going on #i’m feeling so many things #like holy shit

[the-doomed-witch]

not to be h0rny on main but i could really use a pretty girl topping me rn

#or maybe me topping her #either ways #i’m feeling so many things #😩😩😩 #skye is having… thoughts

[svns3ts]

i’m getting sappy and emotional on the tumblr dashboard right now.

tw// self harm, ED, alcoholism and abuse mentioned below

if you told me three years ago that i’d end up where i am today, i wouldn’t believe you for a second. high school was very hard for me, i was in an abusive relationship that really broke any hope i had at a bright future. every single day was a battle just to open my eyes in the morning. i barely ate, i abandoned all of my hobbies, i was deep in the throws of my sh addiction and i felt powerless, useless. 2019 was genuinely the worst year of my life. most of it i spent on autopilot. my relationship finally ended in 2020, but the abuse didn’t stop there. i was in so deep, i genuinely believed i was nothing more than a body for him. that’s all i’d ever be. the months that followed the end of our contact were fueled by alcohol and binging, rarely seeing my own bed and using my body to get praise from men because that’s all i felt like i was good for.

flash forward to 2022, heading into 2023. im in a stable relationship with the love of my life. i’ve seen my favorite band get back together and seen them play live twice. i went to college, i got my degree and i’m living out my dream of being a photographer. im surrounded by the best friends i could ever ask for, both online and in real life. i no longer rely on alcohol and the praise of men to cope. im confident in my gender, finally free to express myself. i am almost a month clean from sh. i feel secure in the fact that the future is bright, and everything truly will be okay. it does get better. i’m still recovering, don’t get me wrong. ptsd is one hell of a fucking ride. but the future is bright. i am happy. if you’re seeing this, i love you. even if i don’t know you. i love you, im proud of you and im always here for you.

#it gets better #recovery #i’m feeling so many things #i love you all