#I wrote all this on mobile

[shitpunsforshitnuns]

OBSESSED with the fact that the infamous “gross American food” poll is fully just poor people food that people still make/buy either because it was passed through their family or because they’re still poor. Allow me to elaborate. Here’s the poll if you’ve managed to avoid the discourse:

American Chocolate tastes different because of two factors: the majority of our cacao comes from South America unlike Europe which generally imports from Africa (moving product farther costs more money). Also, American chocolate is only required to have 10% cacao as opposed to Europe’s 20% (using less cacao and supplementing with readily available sweeteners like corn syrup costs less money). In fact, the very first American Chocolate company (Baker Chocolate Company) was so aware of how much less wealthy the early US was than Europe’s established market for chocolate, that their bars came with a money back guarantee for anyone who was disappointed with the sweets. The current financial situation in the US is well known to the rest of the world- of course we still make and eat cheap chocolate, the bones of our country are exploitation. Also, the dairy content is lower in American chocolates which makes them more shelf stable. Shelf stable foods are important for communities living paycheck to paycheck who have money for a chocolate bar right now but won’t for their kid’s birthday in a week.

Bologna feels self explanatory to me. It’s made of literal scraps from the meat production industry that are then turned into a “sausage” and cured to give the product more longevity. I like fried bologna because it was cheaper for my dad’s parents when he was a kid. My dad likes bologna for the same reason.

Watergate Salad is made of shelf stable ingredients. Many desserts require eggs or dairy that can be expensive and expire quickly. Those desserts then get stale if they aren’t eaten immediately. Canned fruits, pistachio pudding mix, and cool whip (which is hydrogenated oil and very little dairy) will all keep for a while. You can buy them in bulk and put them in your cabinets or freezer until you want to use them and then the salad itself will keep in the fridge. See again the importance of shelf stable foods to impoverished communities.

Twinkies are cheap and go stale slowly. See again the importance of shelf stable foods in impoverished communities.

Grits, Boiled Peanuts, and Biscuits and Gravy are all southern comfort food staples. I was born and raised in north Georgia, it’s very important to me to note that almost all southern food was co-opted from freed slaves by poor rural white folk in the south. Plain grits can be deeply unappetizing but they are cheap and self stable. You can add butter and salt or even seasoned meat and veggies. Grits are rarely a whole meal all to themselves and when they are you add some cheese or salt at the very least. George Washington Carver (a black man many people outside of Georgia should acquaint themselves with at least a little better) turned peanuts into a massive cash crop in Georgia because they are nitrogen fixing! They replace the nitrogen other cash crops (like cotton and tobacco) take out of the soil. In order for your fields to stay viable, you have to plant something like this every once in a while, so most farmers had peanuts themselves or had a neighbor growing peanuts. Boiling them is a quick, easy way to get salt on the nuts themselves. The water soaks through the shells and seasons and softens the nuts. Water is free and peanuts will keep until the fats start to go south, no wonder they picked up popularity among rural folk and travelers alike. Biscuits and gravy are another scrap food. A good sausage gravy is made of leftover sausage and southern biscuits are a savory, buttery carb that is filling and gives you energy you need somewhere like a farm. The negative stereotypes of the south are pervasive and often rooted in racism. Find someone whose grandma has been making these foods her whole life before you form an opinion.

Meatloaf is seasoned more often than not. Like. Sorry you ate meatloaf that wasn’t salted. Anyway, meatloaf is another scrap food! Meat scraps are ground up and then formed into a loaf. Most people put tomato sauce or ketchup on it. Canned tomato products are, you guessed it, shelf stable, and can also be canned at home fairly safely.

The United States at large is not ignorant of the world around it. We are aware that other foods exist. Either we are choosing to eat these or our financial situations are backing us into corners. This is all without even touching upon the prevalence of food deserts in low-income, minority communities in the US. If you’re aware of all this and you really just want to critique the wealth disparity in the US, punch up. Go after the guys with money, not the food that the rest of us find joy in making out of the scraps. Also, making fun of the British is always punching up. Maybe if you had caused fewer wealth disparities that directly impacted the food eaten in other countries, we would be nicer about yours.

#I wrote all this on mobile #so i couldn't link sources #but google is free #american food #american food poll #biscuits and gravy #american chocolate #bologna #watergate salad #twinkies #grits #boiled peanuts #meatloaf #long post

[mishapen-dear]

apocalypse au. cannibalism. corpses. Offscreen loss of loved ones

-

“Some leather armour,” Bad notes, tugging curiously at the straps of the corpse’s armour. “Euagh, almost broken, though.” The armour gets tossed to the side. “A granola bar? Okay, we’ll take that.”

Cellbit twitches at that. He wants to ask, “Do we have to?” but there’s several reasons why he doesn’t. Protesting a backup food supply is never a good idea, for one. It’s not worth it to risk starvation just because he’s worried that the backup food supply will become their primary. He tightens his hold on the bloody sword and insists again. It’s not worth it. Instead, he says, voice rasping, “There’s too many. It’s all going to rot.”

“You think so?” Bad looks up at him, then runs a critical eye over the little encampment. Ten bodies, some larger, but all fat deposits slimmed by lasting hunger. Bad licks at the blood left on his hand from looting the corpse, considering their haul thoughtfully. “I don’t think things rot that fast, Cellbit.”

He twitches again when Bad says his name. It wasn’t an admonishment- it was barely even an opinion Cellbit should validate, knowing how long it takes Bad to consider something rotten -but there is something yearning and grieving and desperate slinking between the muscle fibers of his heart that squirms to hear that disagreement. He’s shaking. He hasn’t stopped shaking. He wants to bite the edge of his sword hard enough that his teeth will crack into sharpened splinters. He wouldn’t need the sword, then. “I don’t- we should cook it,” he says. “Some.”

Bad snaps his fingers triumphantly, as though he’d remembered something. “Pre-digestion!” he exclaims so loudly that Cellbit flinches. No birds fly away- they’ve already been scared off. “Oh! You want to save some for later? Yeah, sure, we can do that. But we should eat what doesn’t fit in the car.” Cellbit doesn’t know how to explain that he can’t eat as much as much as Bad. Not even cooked. It fills him with- it’s not envy but it isn’t not envy, either. Some dissatisfaction.

Back in the— when he was small Cellbit had always assumed that it was Bad’s size that lead him to take the larger portion of their meals. It made sense, and he always got his fill so he was happy with it. Then, when he was grown, it was frustrating. Bad could eat an entire corpse in one sitting; Cell couldn’t even get through an entire leg. He’d realized then, gnawing at bone and just waiting to be done, that Bad couldn’t have possibly eaten an entire corpse. It was childish dreams made memory, morphed by the horror and the trauma and the things he didn’t think about. And now they’ve met up again, and these are their first corpses but Cellbit knows that despite their looting Bad’s share of the resources are always depleted, even when they come across a feast and- The clever part of him is wondering how much he’s really misremembered after all.

Bad seems oblivious to Cellbit’s thoughts. “We can smoke some of this and it’ll last you a bit longer,” he suggests thoughtfully, starting to dig through the corpse’s clothes again. “It might take us some extra time, but this place is safe enough that they set up camp, and we don’t know when we’ll get the chance again. Good idea. Do you want to carve the meat or set up the smoker?”

The thing in Cellbit’s heart writhes almost giddily at the praise. He thinks that he hates it. He misses when he could fool himself into thinking he deserved it. “The meat,” rasps its way out of his throat, proving him right.

Bad lights up. Cellbit can immediately tell that he’s up to something. “In that case- I have something for you that might make it… a little bit easier.”

“What is it?”

“Close your eyes!” The bleeding part of him wails at the thought of the vulnerability, but this is Bad. He’s only alive because of him. Fitting to die because of him, too. Cellbit closes his eyes and continues to shake. The back of his teeth are dry. There’s the sound of rustling as Bad does whatever, and then a triumphant, “Ta-da~!” Cellbit gratefully takes this as his cue to open his eyes again.

Badboyhalo is holding a knife.

Badboyhalo is holding a kitchen knife. Thumb and fingers pinching either side of the blade, handle out, an offering. It’s clean, except where Bad’s hands have stained it red.

Cellbit had been calm, before, the way you are when you’re doing what you were made for. Then he had been satisfied, and excited, and then jittery and bad and happy and satisfied and dreadful. Longing and hatred and benediction and fulfillment. The sight of the knife fades all of that out. When he grabs it, those feelings turn to static. Still there, still hunting him, but forced to back away in the face of its armed prey. The world smooths out a little and hurts a bit less.

Badboyhalo has given him a knife.

“Bad-“ he says, and doesn’t choke up about it.

Bad smiles at him. Bad beams at him. “I was waiting for a good time to give it to you. I know you’ve got your sword, but I remember you telling me that knives are your favourite. Is that still true?”

Overwhelmed, Cellbit nods a little. “Thank- thank you. Obrigado, Bad.”

“De nada!” Bad chirps, cheerful as anything. He pats Cellbit on the shoulder, gently, as his tone shifts. “The sky is still blue, Cellbit. Remember that.”

He wanders away before Cellbit can bring himself to mutter, “Mas às vezes está nublado.” But it’s just Cellbit now, and his knife, and the bodies, and no one living can hear him.

He’s already dropped the sword, he realizes abruptly, clinging to his knife with both hands. He needs to pick it up and clean it before the blood coagulates. There is meat in front of him, still warm and waiting to be processed. Still, he manages to pick up the sword and wipe it in the vicinity of cleanliness on the body’s clothes, his other hand still clinging to his knife. He cuts the clothes, and drops the sword to the side.

When the knife cuts flesh, he starts to grin again. The world turns into a loving red, and he gets to work.

-

Bad feels bad.

He doesn’t dwell on it. Guilt or grief- they both started with g. It’s probably even better, even, feeling guiltier than griefier! Take away the question of accountability entirely, hold control, do what he has to do. And he has to do this.

The log in Bad’s hands cracks. He giggles at it, then takes several quick breaths as tears rapidly pool in his eyes. He doesn’t wipe them, just carefully lays the log down into his makeshift fireplace.

Bad doesn’t like hurting his friends. It’s like a bad prank that leaves lasting damage; it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. But it’s not really all that bad, all things considered. Bad isn’t hurting him or putting him in more danger. If anything, Cellbit is safer with him. They’ve done this before- anything Cellbit can’t eat, Bad can, and they know Cellbit can eat Bad. It’s better. It’s what needs to be done.

There’s a loud lowing in the distance. Bad stills as he listens to it. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Cellbit still carving. They found someone else tonight. Bad feels some tension leak from between his shoulderblades. They’ll be fed and full, and slow in the morning. Cellbit and Bad will have more than enough time to get packed up after a rest.

Cellbit has someone left. Bad is giving him a gift, but he can’t give it yet. Bad knew exactly what he would do if it turned out his own loved ones were still around, and he knows what Cellbit would do, too.

If Cellbit knew that Roier was still alive, he’d leave.

#it has been a While since ive watched cellbit i reserve the right to be incorrect about characters 🙏 #theres a lot goin on rn but as i said when in doubt write cannibalism #throwing these guys at each other in my big ol sandbox #anyway CANNIBALISM #APOCALYPSE #CODEPENDANCY!! #one of my fave things pre purg was when cellbit and bad had That Talk and i fuckin Yearn for a universe where they rp more together #one of my fave sandboxes to play in is also apocalypse aus #thus: #feel free to ask questions about this au idk how much if any more ill actually write #i have no name for it yet but it can be summed up as Two Fuckers Spiralling #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp cellbit #blood #cannibalism #mishapen words #this was fun tho its been a while since i just fucked around :] #fun fact i wrote this all in tumblr mobile drafts #eat the living au

[thedeadthree]

-`. 𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐀𝐆.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 @carrionsflower and @leviiackrman to post a few tunes from my on repeat playlist!! ty ty!!!!!!!

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆: @galvus, @griffin-wood, @queennymeria, @jendoe, @grapecaseschoices, @keilumennura, @unholymilf, @florbelles, @lavampira, @leondaltons, @fragilestorm, @alltoowelltv, @marazhaiaezyrraesh, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @carlosoliveiraa, @celticwoman, @shellibisshe, @marivenah, @perpetuagf, @arduath, @envergothash, @quickhacked, @katsigian, @theviridianbunny, @gortash, @bloodofvalyria, @gwynbleidd, @faerune, @shadowglens, @mrdekarios, @risingsh0t, @cloudofbutterflies92, @kyber-infinitygems, @nokstella and you!!!!!

— 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒: shuffle your “On Repeat” playlist and list the first 10 songs.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 — taylor swift.

𝐈’𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 — alt blk era.

Яд (𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍) — erika lundmoen.

𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 — nina utashiro.

𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 — billie eilish.

𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐘 — tate mcrae.

𝐂𝐎𝐁𝐑𝐀 (𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐗) — megan thee stallion, spirit box.

𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐊 — odetari.

𝐇𝐄𝐘 — ic3peak.

𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐀 — joseph trapanese, percival schuttenbach.

#only if you want to!! <3 #leg.tagged #leg.txt #TY TY AIRIKA AND JESS YOU DEARIES YOUU 🥀🤧✨ this was so fun to do!!!!!!! <3 #cythiacore is the archer and she wrote that song about her ik this taylor told me 🥀♥️🥴😌✨ #yelling that every song is from a clown playlist they have ye olde brainspace all day all the time xkxjhxhx love that !!!!!! #I AM SO SO SORRY IF I MISSED BESTIES i was on mobile for this 🥀😭 please take this as ur tag!!!!!! ♥️

[ukelele-boy]

The long overdue why TOA Apollo is an enfp analysis for @fearlessinger

(I'm going to preemptively say: If anyone has a different opinion please make a new post instead of in my comments XD )

I'm going to explain using the functions. There are eight functions total: Fi, Fe, Ti, Te, Ni, Ne, Si, Se.

And each mbti type will use 4 of these 8 functions. The order the functions are in determines their type. The first function(dominant function) is used the most, the second is also commonly used, the third is more subconsciously used and the fourth is inferior function which is not as developed and tend to be used in times of crisis as a last resort.

Functions are basically types of thought processes and associated behaviors. And it's only possible to have one of each type of F, T, S, N with extroversion or introversion classification. 

Hence it would be impossible for a person to have both Fi and Fe. 

I won't go into too much detail on this so if you guys are interested you can look at the link at the end of this post for more details.

But anyways, here we will take a look at the functions and decide what Apollo is. 

How much the traits of each function show through depends on their ranking in the 4 stack. Higher ranked functions tend to be used more etc etc. 

Lets start: Te vs Fe. 

Fe people tend to value the group and the emotional wellbeing of others. They also care about fitting in and belonging to the group. "how does the group feel about this?" 

Te people value the group but from a productivity and practical wellbeing standpoint. They care about getting things done effectively. 

A very basic example, if deciding if the population should be waiting at a traffic light for a time or have the option to speed past it but crying and sobbing for 1 minute. A Fe person might lean towards letting everyone wait but the Te person might lean towards letting everyone speed through. This is because Fe is considering the emotional state while Te is considering the time wasted from the person's life. 

You might be inclined to say then Apollo should be Fe! He cares about his friends! But I'll actually argue he does not have Fe. Recall that a person can only have either Fi or Fe.

Fi people tend to have a  personal moral system that is very tied to their sense of self, and a desire to figure out who they are and what they believe in, and where they belong. You can argue that all people do this, but I'll say Fi havers definitely does this way more than average. Especially if the Fi is first or second in the function stack. Fe sees identity as something that is part of you, "I am what I am". 

They will never have the thought of "oh i did xyz but that's not really me" Fe will consider that since they did it, it is them. 

Apollo is a strong Fi. He values his identity a lot. During TOA, he struggles with his identity after losing what he thinks makes him, well, him. Hence you can see his original concept of his identity was tied to what he could do as a god, and his beauty and powers. Once he lost that, he lost his sense of self. This is devastating for a Fi because their identity is heavily tied with their moral system. Fi make decisions based on their moral compass that they created over their lifetime. This allows them to quickly make decisions based on it in times of crisis. They may say "I FEEL xyz" but the feeling they speak of is generated through their moral system. 

Outside input -> Moral system + identity -> feeling - > decision - > action. 

An older, experienced Fi user will be able to sense what they are feeling and make quick decisions based on it, and leave the analysis part to their databank of past judgements. However, on the outside this can look rash and like they are making decisions based on emotions (which is true. But there's more to it!) 

Apollo lost his sense of self and had to start from scratch. This makes him begin to doubt his morals and past judgements, because they were all part of his old self, and that's now gone. Now how can he make the "right" decision? He no longer knows what is right. He has deluded himself that his choices were right for so long, that once his self is shattered and he is rebuilding his identity from scratch, his entire world tilts. Key word here is delude, he probably already had a sense he was doing something wrong but he ignored it and kept using the old pathways of thought he made to arrive at conclusions. Now that its like this:

Outside input -> ?????? -> feeling - > decision - > action.

 

It leaves him in constant doubt about his present and past self. 

So yeah, Fi. 

And Fi users must have Te, so Te as well. But I argue his Te is lower than Fi and not that noticable. 

Now, we move to Ne vs Ni. 

Ne and Ni are two different ways of thinking and connecting things.

Ne connects thoughts in a spiderweb like pattern and hence has seemingly random jumps and connections. (The grass is green, my shirt is green too and oh, my shirt is from california, and I think california has great icecream and now we are talking about icecream.) Ne tend to derail conversations with their explorations. 

Meanwhile, Ni tend to think more linearly on one topic and discuss it to the end. Their thoughts are more like a graph form where they explore along the line. (the grass is green and it is very lush and beautiful. It grows well in the summer etc etc) Notice we are still talking about grass

Apollo's narration is a classic Ne style narration where you see him talk about traveling with Meg and the next thing he's telling you what happened in Egypt 50 A.D.

So now we know he has, Ne, Fi, Te. 

We just need to figure out whether he has Si or Se. 

Si is focused on memories and familiar things. They like consistency and patterns.

Se is focused on experiences and physical sensation. They like to explore new things and go out. 

However since these aren't as obvious, I will first narrow down the possible types. 

Mbti with Fi, Ne, Te are: 

ESTJ, ISTJ

ENFP, INFP

And since these types don't have Se, we know he has Si. 

We can rule out ESTJ and ISTJ because Fi is not as prominent , and are more Te based (see image). 

Apollo bases his decisions on his heart (Fi) more than rules and traditions (Si) or productivity (Te).

This means his Fi is either first or second. Which means he's either INFP or ENFP. 

And now it's an easy choice because INFP is an introvert. 

And Apollo is just… extroverted, he loves being around people, he gains energy around them. He loves meeting new folks. (I can promise you as an INFP, I do not feel this ajjfjsksksk) 

Hence. 

Apollo is ENFP! A type who follows their heart, is passionate about their interests, loves learning and exploring new things, and curious.

As well, in regards to his Si as his last function (also called the inferior function) . When people are in times of extreme stress, they can sometimes fall back and unhealthily overuse their last function. For example, for Enfps they will go into "Si grip" and begin to have tunnel vision and overanalyze their past mistakes, try to make little detail perfect, project previous bad experiences onto the future, become isolated and withdrawn… 

Does this sound familiar and like a certain sun god during TOA…? 

Other enfps in fiction, that kinda have traits similar to Apollo: c!Tommy, Steven Universe. (I know ppl say steven is ESFJ but I'll maintain he's enfp based on functions) 

And if you want a well written, deeper read into Enfp functions:

Go here

Also these images:

#Sorry for no cut I wrote all this word barf on mobile #Long post #Analysis #Mine #trials of apollo #lester papadopoulos #pjo apollo #Kinda long and rambly sorry its my Ne #Hope yall enjoy #Character analysis #Mbti #Enfp

[movietonight]

While there are things to criticise mash for and those conversations are important to have some of what I read can be explained very easily by reminding yourself

It was a TV show

On a budget

From years ago

From America

Written by a variety of human writers

Who used characters and plots to tell stories

Within a certain number of minutes

#mash #m*a*s*h #this isn't about anything specific #and there is also worth in taking and analysing mash as a whole #but sometimes you have to step back and remind yourself its a tv show #not in the 'its not real' way but in the 'it works like a tv show' way #I think the only specific thing I could use as an example rn is the criticisms I've seen of them not changing locations more often #and yeah the m is for mobile but do you know how insanely expensive it would be to film more bug out scenes? #and how insanely boring they would be to watch all the time #And when it comes to the tonal shift and its effect on the message that is a very good conversation to have with important criticisms #but I also saw some criticisms mostly in articles and books you know that boiled down #to why isn't this later episode exactly like an earlier episode :/ and I was like uhm because they already wrote that episode? #long story short: NUANCE #note: this post has been in my drafts for a while and I just wanted to free it

[aroacehanzawa]

whats ur beef?

My favourite manga lost the plot so now i cope by being a hater 👍

#long answer is i have beef with the direction that the bsd manga has taken #it only superficially resembles the beloved mystery and character-driven detective agency story with atsushi as the main character #i'm dissatisfied with major developments like killing off fyodor and reviving him and pulling this #PSYCH his ability wasn't what you thought it was. with zero foreshadowing or buildup #because the manga has become full of marvel-movie type plot twists that serve little to no coherent narrative purpose except shock factor #it cheapens the story and it cheapens the development of characters and it cheapens the reader's experience #because we can't speculate and we can't draw connections and parallels and engage with the story on a deeper level #what connections there exist (for example between manga and anime) are shoehorned in after the popularity of the anime and #specific characters (e.g. fyodor who was shoehorned into untold origins in the anime) and mostly the characters who bring in money #i.e. fyodor and dazai and chuuya and their relationships especially soukoku. all this at the expense of characters like atsushi or #the majority of the female cast. who have been MIA for god knows how long and who were barely given frame each in the anime's finale #bsd treatment of its female characters has been subpar shounen level at best and now they're completely sidelined #as with most of the original cast and the original themes of the story. in fact i struggle to identify a coherent overarching theme #for the current arc. other than military action scifi movie go brrrr #compared to early arcs where each chapter had a meaningful message to say about the importance of living and what it means to stay alive and #keep going and why we are fighting to keep important people in our lives and to keep ourselves alive #and what it means to belong somewhere and what it means to be good or bad and how your place of belonging affects that #as a long term reader i just feel betrayed and disappointed. by how a story with complex and vibrant characters has become another #generic cashgrab shounen. and i mourn for the lost potential it had and everything the series has build up #only to have plot points abandoned at a whim. #so that's why i'm a hater now 👍 #i know a lot of my bsd mutuals are still big fans of bsd so i try not to be obnoxious about it and mainly keep it comedic #like i don't actually hate the manga. because it's so important to me. and i respect the creators of the manga and anime #but it's frustrating to watch a train wreck in real time. and it's my blog i can hate what i want 😔 #sorry if there are typos i wrote all this on mobile and can't edit the tags. i didn't wanna put any of this in the main post

[deathsbestgirl]

even disregarding anything beyond s7, they literally live such joyless lives. like, the grief they have experienced is overwhelming, how could they ever truly be happy with that grief always hanging over their heads, the discomfort that would bring is enormous

well, no. they did not have joyless lives. like everyone, life happens to them and that means pain & grief but that doesn't mean their entire lives & existence are joyless.

we really only see them at work, we don't know what goes on outside of it.

they're actually really happy in season 1 & season 7. in season 1, they're getting to know each other, they become best friends quickly. the smile & laugh constantly, they tease each other. they always enjoy their debates & most cases. even when they're scary, even when they don't get all the answers. they get to know each other so well in that time and it's a gift to them both. they still have light moments in every season and you can't love like they do and be just miserable. in season 7, they're together. they're experiencing so many new things in their relationship that they've wanted for a long time and finally let themselves have. they're constantly flirting & smiling and talk about their feelings more openly than they have in the past.

and the other years, they find so much in each other when the world turns their back on them. mulder is scully's light when she loses melissa, when they close her case, during her cancer, with emily. he fights so hard for her and holds her up when she needs it. scully is mulder's light through every hard case, when he loses his mom, helps him find closure about samantha. she is always pulling him from the depths. he tries so hard to tell her what she means to him in his mulder way, and she finds so much meaning in a keychain & he's in awe of her. she's always asking him to get out of the car because the truth & work doesn't have to be all their lives are. and eventually he starts to learn and they play baseball and they dance and have movie nights and exchange gifts.

mulder & scully learn what to do with their grief, the love they can't give to the people they've lost. mulder fought for every child & family they came across and never gave up until they had answers, or were safely returned to their families. scully goes back into the medical field and helps every child & family she can. they go home to each other and they have a quiet life for a while.

yes, mulder was sick for a while but he comes out the other side more able to relax and he lives. he asks scully on dates, they go back to the work they love and it's much lighter than it was before. until they come across their son. there was pain in that, but there was also so much relief in knowing that jackson was loved. he had parents who loved him and took care of him and tried to get him help when he needed it. he played baseball. and for a little while they thought he was dead, but scully realized the moment his body disappeared that he wasn't really dead. and they sought him out and he gave scully small little gifts that he could. the snow globe, the knowledge that he was alive & could protect himself & that he really wanted to know her. he heard every word she said to him. my struggle iv ends very open ended. they think jackson was shot but scully is pregnant again, and they have a chance to be parents to another child like they always wanted. and you can believe they never see jackson again but that just. can't be the truth. it's open ended to leave room for them to come back, because the x files never gives us all the answers. because the fact that jackson is alive & they're having another baby is so hopeful. maybe we don't see them as a family in the end, but i think they made it clear mulder & scully never give up and jackson wants to know them. he wanted to protect them but he's just a teenager.

grief is hard but it's a part of life and it doesn't mean they can't be happy. it might never be pure, but there's no such thing as pure, untainted happiness. it's the human condition. we get to feel the whole spectrum of emotions and life grows around grief. you learn what to do with it. you learn ways to share the love you can't actively give to the people you've lost. but the connections & love don't go away. that love is belongs to you and there are so many ways to honor it, to share it with others and it can still be all about that person. that's what the x files is all about for mulder & scully. it's always what the show was about. chris carter was right: mulder and scully are the light in dark places. the show is all about their love, the way they love each other & the world & all the love they're surrounded by.

#well i answered this pretty earnestly #like idk man. i'm here because i watched the x files with my dad #and i showed it to my wife & i dragged my friends into it #and i've talked about him enough that someone wrote a fic inspired #by him and what i've said #sometimes i feel like i'm drowning in my grief #of missing him of him not getting to know renata #but i've learned ways to keep the connection alive #like scully singing joy to the world to william #or all the space pajamas & toys & the mobile #mulder couldn't be there but she made sure william could feel his presence somehow #that she could #when she thought he was dead she was carrying one more mulder #he wasn't the last one and he would never be forgotten like samantha wouldn't be forgotten #like melissa like scully's dad like mulder's parents like every person they ever helped #the x files #mulder and scully #txf txt

[murderbees]

thinking abt Dyson

because why was he so fixated on the renegade? Well, I just ranted about this to my sister so I will tell you

He's offended by The Renegade's very existence. They're a mediocre copycat at best. He wants him gone, derezzed, erased. And why? Because he care about Tron, and that's complicated.

He's the one you looked up to, trusted implicitly, trusted with your life and health. He gets to make the decisions because he'll always make the right one, he won't let them derezz or get needlessly hurt, right?

But he does, Tron defended the ISOs. The ones who started the fight(debatable), who ruined his face. And still, Tron defends the ISOs because Flynn says so.

So he doesn't get it fixed. He waits for Flynn, wants him to see exactly why the ISOs are dangerous, get him to admit that the ISOs are an issue, not a miracle. Because, if Flynn admits that, changes his mind, then so will Tron, and everything will be FINE again.

But Flynn doesn't. He doesn't even seem to care, and just like that, he knows Tron will never stop defending the ISOs. He's lost Tron forever.

So they overthrow Flynn, because they have to. And they take in Tron because they need him. Sure, they could have derezzed him, but he's The BEST and Dyson still hopes he'll change his mind.

He tortures Tron, because he cares. They could rectify him, but he wouldn't be Tron anymore. He still wants him to change his mind, but he HATES that Tron still defended the ISOs. If he changes his mind, it might be okay.

He slices into his face, so they match. If they match, maybe Tron will get it, will see how much he suffered.

He creates a virus, so he can make Tron perfect again. Because if Tron changes his mind, joins Dyson, he'll be perfect. And HE wants to be the one to fix Tron. Not CLU or some medic, DYSON.

And then Tron dies not really but Dyson doesn't know that. And he's relieved. Tron is dead. And it's easy to love a memory.

Then the renegade shows up, and in the smallest, deadest part of your heart, he hopes it's Tron. But it isn't. He's weaker and stupid and overall worse. He Tarnishes the name of Tron and he can't abide by that. The Renegade must be derezzed.

But you're smart and cunning. You shouldn't care so much anyway. Luckily, you have an excuse. The renegade is a threat to CLU, even if a small, albeit annoying one. And you will win, just like Tron trained you to.

#typed this on mobile so apologies for typos #tron rant #Dyson #this might be obvious but I still want to talk about it #idk if this is coherent #it's also longer than I thought it would be??? #I find it telling that Dyson didn't look at Tron while talking about rectifying his team #It's like saying #'LOOK! LOOK! All your friends and me are here #Just join us #Stay with us #Stay with me #Please' #I also don't like Dyson that much so idk why I wrote so much abt him

[celilasart]

Hidden Away

Let me show you and convey how dear I hold you far away from expectation and restriction, wanting you is my addiction.

Your sweet blood on my red lips, your soft skin under my fingertips.

Hidden away among the stars it's you and me - and healing scars.

My @hd-fangfest piece which posted today :) you can also find it on AO3

Prompted by the lovely @stargazing-enby 

Eighth Year secret relationship. At night, they meet in the Astronomy Tower so character A can graze character B's throat with his fangs and taste a few droplets of blood, which is an incredibly pleasurable experience for both of them. I leave it up to the viewer to decide who the vampire is ;)

ps: if the image is not being displayed nicely, here is a link to the image itself

#on mobile: tab on the image to see it in focus -_- i don't like you tumblr #drarry #drarry fanart #vampires #8th year #astronomy tower #draco malfoy #harry potter #hp fanart #hd fangfest 2022 #secret relationship #poem #calligraphy #oh i designed the font and wrote it by hand #because what else do you do when you're already behind with the submission #;D #write a poem #exactly! #i'm sure you've all recognized the draco constellation #the other constellation is the phoenix constellation #i thought it's fitting ;) #my art

[itchose]

anyway. Travis

#study: travis. #rewatching early eps of s1 just hurts me about him bc the way he loves his brother so much but won’t present it as that #Steals the food from the girls to give it to his brother. Yells at him to eat it. Digs up his dead dad to get the ring for his brother #Tells his brother he ‘just forgot he had it’ so it wouldn’t seem like A Big Deal #He went from being an older brother constantly annoyed with his younger brother + trying to ignore him #To suddenly the only ‘parent’ he had out there #And his dad was a bad example!!! #Why am I putting this all in the tags doing this on a mobile browser is miserable but anyway when I get home I have more to say #Bc I wrote something in a thread to lex that haunts me still #I love siblings (crowd is shocked)

[dravidious]

Typing Tips That I Stumbled Upon Randomly:

The Ctrl key lets you jump between words really quickly. If you hold Ctrl and press the left or right arrow keys, instead of moving your cursor 1 character you'll move it a whole word; if you want to edit that word that's 3 words back, you can just hold Ctrl and left-left-left, and you're there.

Even more useful in my opinion, if you hold Ctrl and press Backspace you'll delete the entire word you're on. That's just really nifty because a lot of the time when you're deleting you want to delete the whole word, so this is much faster.

Also, idk how well-known this is but holding Shift and moving your cursor will make you highlight any characters you move over. That's useful on its own, but combining that with Ctrl lets you quickly highlight whole words or sentences, so you can easily copy+paste them. You can also hold Shift to edit any selections you made with your mouse or something.

Also it took me too long to realize that the Home and End keys are actually really nice sometimes. Home takes you to the start of the line you're on, and End takes you to the end. Hold Shift while doing that and you can highlight the whole line. Very nice for programming. Also holding Ctrl and pressing Home or End takes you to the top or bottom of the page, but I barely use that.

A similarly useful key that I also overlooked is the Delete key. It's like the Backspace key, but it deletes the character in front of your cursor instead of behind it. Just like with Backspace Ctrl+Delete lets you delete a whole word in front of your cursor.

Also Ctrl+A lets you highlight the whole page.

Also even when you're not typing and instead just browsing a web page or something, you still technically have a cursor; if you click a piece of text, then hold Shift and press the arrow keys, you'll start highlighting text.

Practice Exercise: Click on the t in this word, then hold Shift and press left and right on the arrow keys! Now try holding Ctrl+Shift while you press the arrow keys! Hold Shift and press Home or End! Hold Shift and use your mouse to left-click on different spots in the paragraph and see how your selection changes!

#original #i had to use microsoft excel for the first time today and it SUCKED i had NO IDEA how to do ANYTHING #and i though “this is probably so much easier if you know the keyboard shortcuts” #and then i realized how much Secret Knowledge i have that make typing and stuff way easier #so i figured it would be nice to make sure my followers can also make typing faster and easier #also i wrote the practice exercise before realizing that most people use tumblr mobile lol #also there's some weird details that i didn't include #ctrl+backspace only deletes the part of the word that's behind the cursor #so if you're in the middle of a word it will only delete part of it #also ctrl+arrow keys sometimes doesn't skip a whole word #like with apostrophes like in “you're” sometimes it will stop at the apostrophe #depends on the text editor you're using #like on my favorite text app Notepad ctrl+arrows will always move past the whole word without stopping #except it DOES stop at hyphens like “ha-ha” but idk whether hyphenated words are technically separate words #oh FUCK yeah i spelled separate correctly without even slowing down or thinking about it! i'm learning! #it'd be really funny if all this stuff is just common knowledge and i posted the equivalent of “dark souls tip: attacks deal damage”

[kindaorangey]

so like whether someone enjoys eeaao or not generally breaks down to their ability to accept sincerity and absurdity in rapid succession, basically having elasticity when it comes to things that break your immersion and things that require your full immersion, and anyway i think the reason i can do that with so many things (not just eeaao) is because i grew up watching pantomimes

#thunder rambles #wrote this post in a few different ways. decided there was no good way to get my point across. decided on the 'i refuse to elaborate' part #part? sorry i meant method😭im on mobile and im not retyping #anyway heres the elaboration if ur interested #pantomimes are built around a broken down third wall and are largely very superficial and comedic #however you still have scenes where you are immersed in the comedy and forget that its just actors on a stage #and then you have scenes where the actors are talking to you (or forgetting their lines!) and that immersion is broken but that breakage is #owned by the actor #and i watched a lot of these #and yeah yeah everyone nowadays loves absurdism because of the sociapolitical state of the world. so im not special for liking absurdism #but i think i am relatively alone in my ability to switch between absurdity and sincerity so rapidly? #and its the thing that endears me to something the most #so bojack horseman miraculous ladybug eeaao #that back to the future parody that got claimed by incels #all of it has complete tonal whiplash but often carried very well #like i never laugh harder at anything than at an episode of ml #and i am laughing at the intentional jokes but most of the time im mocking the sheer ludicrousness of it all #the plotholes the animation the characterisation whatever #but i do it out of love and im still down for the more serious scenes because they are SOOOO earnest and sweet #anyway yeah same is true for eeaao. hot dog fingers i will defend you forever and always #broken down FOURTH** wall. i swear to god im not drunk😭

[cloud-somersault]

Sorry, I just feel like the prose should have a personality 🤷

#im sure everyone's like “wtf do you mean” #and i mean like....the introspection. the descriptions. they should have personality too #like..idk maybe back the character into all aspects of your writing #do you notice how he always describes things beautifully?? #so that when you switch perspectives it's apparent #when you read constellations do you notice how Wukong always pays attention to the weather and the elements? #i lean into that when im writing him because i believe Wukong learned to appreciate beauty on the journey #and he tries to see it no matter where he is #this will become more clear when the epilogue is out. because Macaque is not that way #he focuses more on expressions and voice #anyway i wrote this post bc im reading a book that has super dry prose #like... where is the personality #where's the fun???? not here LMAO #sorry for misspelling im on mobile 😭

[godfreygwilym]

some notes on how i've been running the brides

when i first set out to dm cos, one of the first things i was really determined to do was give them more in-depth backstories, since— with the exception of escher getting like one paragraph lol— they're basically just. creepy dolls. which i GUESS works with gothic horror but man i would really like to have female characters with personalities!!!!

*combination of my own interpretation as well as concepts ive integrated from other dms, so if you recognize something specific i probably got it from elsewhere

ludmilla vilisevic

physically in her mid-30s, and is aged roughly 230. i play her with an rp english accent, although in my mind she has a nigerian affect. she is very poised and calculating, and always tries to be the one in control of any situation. has a talent for shadow magic, and her own sentient shadow is the closest she has to a best friend. she also has a barn owl familiar named amicus and a cat named eupraxia. when she takes a human disguise, she goes by the name of filena voltanescu.

before ludmilla married strahd, her name was lumina. she is a wizard apprentice who was lost in the mists and stumbled into barovia. naturally very curious, brave and shrewd, she marched up to ravenloft despite all the warnings. her and strahd ended up having a very romantic relationship (despite lowkey reflags from strahd the whole time lol) for a long time since there had been a long spell of no tatyana reincarnation, although they eventually began to fall apart, partially spurred by her feelings of isolation and longing for her family outside of barovia.

at the point that cos takes place, ludmilla is very distant from strahd and is really only going through the motions/trying to stay useful, though she is determined to remain a step above his other partners in terms of superiority. she spends a great deal of her time researching and experimenting on mostly-unwilling test subjects (she is well aware at this point that what she is doing is cruel, but after two centuries she's become rather indifferent). she's very fascinated by the abbot's work.

in my game, strahd has given her emil toranescu, who is imprisoned in tsolenka pass. she is working on developing a method to transfer souls from one body to another— in my game, ismark is the true reincarnation of tatyana, and ireena merely looks like her.

anastrasya "anya" karelova

physically in her early 30s, anya is just over a century old. barovian accent, and extremely flamboyant and charismatic, she loves being the centre of attention. she has a natural talent for communicating with ghosts, who are often her captive audience. not much combat skill beyond what abilities she has as a vampire, but she has a wicked skill for charming people. in human disguise, she goes by ekaterina bogdana.

anya is from minor vallakian nobility, which comes with all the trappings of petty inter-family squabbles. she has had a terribly unfortunate string of bad luck with marriages, all of her betrotheds have met poor fates or ran off. on a fourth attempt, her parents arranged for her to be married to an older landowner who she did not care for at all.

while she was engaged, anya ran into ludmilla (in human disguise) by chance. they grew close quickly and began having an affair. eventually, ludmilla introduced her to strahd, and she was instantly enamoured. before the wedding, anastrasya's betrothed "mysteriously" died, and she was whisked away to ravenloft. at this point, ludmilla and strahd's relationship was very cold, and he became preoccupied with anya.

volenta popofska

physically in her mid-20s, and is about 65 years old. barovian, and has a very floaty and whimsical way of speaking, though very soft spoken and rather self conscious. she often comes off as eerie. her vampiric abilities are amplified, making her a very good rogue/assassin. in "human" disguise, she is called violet spivakhofska.

volenta is a tiefling who was born in a small fishing village on lake zarovich. her parents did not want her, and so she was raised by the village elder. when she passed away when volenta was a teenager, she no longer had any protection from the animosity of the villagers, so she fled. eventually she was picked up by a small group of bandits, who would've attacked her, but she convinced them to let her join.

she bounced around various groups of bandits and thieves for several years, finding a place but never truly fitting in. after one traumatic rejection, she went to ravenloft in search of strahd, who she had heard stories of since she was a child, and had often wished would come and take her away. to volenta's joy, strahd took a liking to her and made her his bride.

even still, volenta is an outcast due to her awkward and sometimes unsettling behaviour and knack for the macabre. strahd enjoys her, but does little to try and ingratiate her with his other partners, and so she remains self-conscious and eager to win his favour.

escher gerst

physically in his late twenties, escher has been a vampire for just over a decade. i play him with a german accent. he is usually very distant and melancholy, though he becomes much more playful when not around strahd. a bard by trade, as a vampire he discovers a natural aptitude for shapeshifting, spurred by a bit of neuroticism over not being able to see his own reflection. in human disguise, he goes by claudius belasco.

escher is also from outside the mists, the son of poor farmers who ran off to join a bard troupe. he loves stories and music, and has a knack for various instruments, but particularly enjoys the lute and the violin— strahd has gifted him two exquisite models. his troupe was caught in the mists, and unbeknownst to him, strahd began spying on them. outside the village of barovia in the svalich woods, strange orchestrated a wolf attack on the group, sparing escher so that he could swoop in and save him. when escher awoke in a plush bed in ravenloft, he became deeply enamoured with strahd, who he saw as a fairytale prince. they had a very passionate relationship with strahd lavishing many gifts on escher before convincing him to let him turn him into a vampire.

despite not being together long, however, strahd has quickly become rather bored of escher's antics, who became desperate to stay in his good graces to avoid being sealed into the crypts. after the revolt in the village of barovia, strahd took doru as a vampire spawn. escher and him would have been close friends, if escher wasn't so deeply self-conscious and paranoid over his own status. eventually, he convinced strahd to starve doru to the point of madness and return him to his father at the church. escher would feel guilty over this, were he not so deeply concerned over his own self-preservation.

also due to strahd's coldness toward him, escher developed a fascination with vallaki, where he often goes in human disguise. here, he took a human lover, a painter named anton. anton became involved with the feast of saint andral, when escher gave him a bag (secretly containing the bones) and had him deliver it to the coffin shop. during the chaos of the feast, unfortunately, strahd had anton killed— escher beseeched the party to bury him properly and behead him so he would not return as a vampire spawn.

#curse of strahd #my stuff #i will probably have to edit this later Lol unfortunately trying to edit on tumblr mobile is like scraping plastic off a frying pan #also one of my players wrote a very wonderful ludmilla/strahd story that i hope they'll publish on ao3 #ive also written a ~5k drabble about escher and started two for anya and volenta that i have not finished #anyway overall i hope it's quite clear that the brides are all indivuals who are very lonely/crave affection and fear punishment which #informs a lot of their behaviour

[andi-o-geyser]

just another day wasting away in margaritaville trying to figure out how the actual fuck the Grand Army of the Republic is organized. send assistance i am shaking sobbing crying in a corner

#no like. does anybody understand it please help me #i get how it’s divided #i even made an entire flow chart #but it’s the numbering i’m confused with cause none of it makes any fucking SENSE #and i don’t know know if i just don’t know how military battalions are numbered but this makes less than 0 sense even if i did know #because like. ok so for example: the 327th star corps is in the 2nd systems army. but how is that possible? why are they called the 327th? #because there are 10 systems armies; each with 2 sector armies; each with 4 corps #and if i know math (which i occasionally do) that means there are 80 corps in the entire GAR (4 for each of the 20 sector armies) #so then HOW #is there a corps in the 300s #and that’s not even the worst example #okay so we all know the 212th? our most beloved attack battalion of gold babes? #they’re in the 3rd systems army which means they should have the 5th and 6th sector armies (1st system army has 1+2 2nd systems has 3+4 etc #but then they have the 7th sky corps. and if there are 8 corps per systems army and they’re in the THIRD systems army #how do they have the 7th corps? and how are they only the 212th battalion? cause there’s 512 battalions in the first systems army ALONE! #so either it’s straight up wrong and their battalion number should be more like 1212 (in the thousands!) #or each sector/sustems army has their own numbering of battalionsthat goes from 1-512; and same for their corps? #so it would be like ‘we’re the 404th battalion of the 6th corps of the 4th systems army’? #but then that still contradicts the existence of actual corps like the 91st mobile recon corps and the 41st elite corps! #so are there two different systems of numbering it? do corps and legions and battalions all number and name their divisions differently? #i wrote so much i ran out of tags but serious am i just dumb or am i right and none of this makes sense #i spent literally 2 hours getting distracted by this conundrum today #after spending 4 hours last night understanding how the army is divided cause i was curious about what the numbering meant #LITTLE DID I KNOW I MEANT NEXT TO FUCKING NOTHING #this is what happens when i get bored smh #if anybody understands military structure and im legit just missing something PLEASE tell me i am so curious #star wars #the clone wars #andis thought geyser

[e-melanorhynchus]

hello mutual I HEAR YOU LIKE BIRDS I had a period in time where I had a huge interest in birds but I literally forgot everything from it. however. i still love penguins so much what are your thoughts on penguins. if you look at the species of penguins which one do u like most. also which bird looks like they'd be most reliable with your taxes. thank tou

HELLO BUGGY I indeed am a bird fan. Have been for a long time. Perhaps I am a bird myself. You will never know

ON THE TOPIC OF PENGUINS I DO LIKE THEM but I cannot say I am very very knowledgeable on them in their entirety. I can say I have favorites though. Such as the wonderful African Penguin..

Via Luke Goddard

They're quite funny I love them a lot.. they have a few at my favorite aquarium [Monterey Bay] and they're all so darling. They look like little businessmen [which answers your taxes question..]

However I am more knowledgeable about the penguin look-alikes, the auk family [Alcidae]! Unlike penguins, auks [aside from the extinct Great Auk] can actually fly! People confuse em all the time but they look similar bc of their similar niche [fish hunting seabirds].. and those similar high contrast patterns serve well in the sea! It's a concept called countershading, where the dark backs blend in with the ocean from a birds eye view [keeps them safe from animals like petrels] while the light bellies blend in with the bright rays of the sun from underneath the water! [Makes it harder for seals to find em]

[this is only one example of countershading; it's a very broad concept all in all which encapsulates a lot of different patterns in animals! It's very cool.]

Auks include guillemots, murres, auklets, and puffins! They're all real cute.

My favorite auks are the Black Guillemot, which, funnily enough, nests right next to the Monterey Bay Aquarium I mentioned earlier..

Via Nicholas Main

Do you like William's red shoes..? He's serving, dare I say...

Along with this guy, I also like the Dovekie. A little auk that looks so damn happy all the time. So full of zooplankton yum! He looks like he would only tell me the truth. No lies.

Via Rob Edsall

[this guy is in his nonbreeding plumage. They look very different in their breeding season!]

Sorry for diverting from penguins I DO LOVE THEM A LOT I PROMMY!!! I REALLY DO!!! I just figured I'd add more knowledge from a place I know more about. Thank you for giving me your time to be insane about seabirds I love seabirds.

#toki suli #i love bird. tbh all of them look like they'd do your taxes #the black guillemot looks like a workplace lady with red high heels #THANK UOU FOR ENTERTAINING MY INSANITY. i love anima #toki #apollo cheese if anything is weird i wrote this wholly on mobile...