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blippymilk · 4 months

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Brozone (+ Poppy & Viva) x Touch Starved Fem! Reader

Ok the request is that the reader is a touch starved, easily flustered, insecure yet passionate female. Her hair can change based on how she’s feeling. She likes to rant and info dump a lot. She likes drawing herself and her loved ones, and gives small gifts as a form of affection or to make them feel better. There will be a friend and s/o version.

(I’m also really sorry if this is not to the liking of the request, I kind of struggled while making this 😭)

John Dory:

Friend:

- As your friend he’s a little concerned for you

- Like he knows your fine but sometime he worries 😭

- But nothing JD can’t handle

- Genuinely enjoys your little gifts but he never makes it obvious at first

“Hey JD look I made you a little gift.” :)

“Oh that’s sweet. Can you put it on my desk? I’ll look at it later.”

- One day him and his brothers were rough housing around while you Poppy, and Viva stood by cheering them on. Bruce gets a little too rough with him and knocks something out of his jacket, it was your gift

- This man stops everything

- Like everything

- Like everyone’s frozen in place no matter what stance they’re in

- And picks it up and places it gently back in the pockets inside his jacket then lectures the boys about how he could’ve gotten his belongings crushed 😭

S/O:

- Still worries about you even after being together

- Sometimes the way your emotions change with your hair startles him

- And that’s mostly because your emotions can change rapidly

- But he also finds it really funny

- So prepare for his scare attacks

- Your hair gets so spiky, and you get so mad

“Oh come on I was only playing around babe. Tell you what, I’ll find a better way to mess with your hair.”

- And he did, which was by flustering you with comments that boost your confidence

- Your face turns red and your hair poofs up then falls around your head

- You’re always muttering a lot just like Viva and Poppy and JD finds it hilarious that him, Branch, and Clay are in the same boat (not saying Clay and Viva are not dating jus to clarify 😭)

Floyd:

Friend:

- Loves having a friend that’s the complete opposite of him

- He’ll listen to you rant all day

- With feedback on every question and statement

- Also finds your hair amusing but won’t abuse it’s power on purpose like John 😭

- Shocked by your passion to draw

“Is that me and you?”

“You know it.”

“I love it.” 🥹

S/O:

- Absolutely head over heels for you

- Still would be into listening to you rant but he’s helping you calm down a bit more

- Now your drawings had a more romantic reference behind them and he loved them even more

- No matter where he goes he always has one of your pictures on him

- He carries it around and values it like cash

- And absolutely none of his (little) brothers are getting their hands on it (yes he’s aware that they’re all adults now)

Spruce Bruce

Friend:

- He’s an expert on hair so he’s not too shocked or anything

- I mean look at that fluff on his head

- Seeing as Bruce could handle so many kids in the movie I believe he could deal with a ranting partner just fine

- He knows how to avoid frustration with you

S/O:

- Finds everything you do cute (c’mon it’s Bruce)

- He loves your arts & crafts

- Probably more than you

- Just like John he likes to you see you flustered with that big frizz on your head

- Your hair is constantly poofy because this man never stopsssss

“Hey (____) did it hurt when you fell?”

“Huh?”

“When you fell. From heaven?��

“Bruce you’re litteraly gonna kill me and my hair…”

- Definitely helps you get the knots out afterward 😭

Clay:

Friends:

- He hangs around Viva so the rambling is nothing new to him

- Always tries to hide you from Viva because he knows you two would be a unstoppable force ( plus poppyyyyy?!?)

- Hates when you feel insecure in any kind of way possible

- So just like you leave him little sketches, he leaves little notes of affirmations for you to read

- And makes you read them

- Outloud

“I am so pretty, beautiful, smart, talente- Clay do I have to keep-”

“Keep going.”

“Ok but-”

- Extremely intense eye contact

sighhhhhhhh “I am talented, I am kind, I am loyal…”

S/O:

- One of the most respectful boyfriends in the world

- Eventually gives in and let’s you and Viva mingle (possibly a bad descion!!??)

- Astonished by what your hair is capable of (can’t show his excitement tho cause he’s not a fun boy anymore right?)

- He is a words of affection (and physical touch sjejkemsjks) kinda guy so as your boyfriend he’s all you could ask for

- So now your attached to this man like glue and it’s kind of his fault

- Has to pry you off sometime but he will never stop loving you the same

“I love youuuuuu.”

“I love youuuuuu too.”

Branch:

Friend:

- Just like Clay he’s friends with Poppy so he’s used to the talking behavior (no Boppy in thissss 😔)

- You guys didn’t exactly hit it off at first either

- You met him during his “no color” era so that makes most of the sense

- ntgl when he first finds out about your hair he’s thrown off

- And the other trolls had so much fun with it that he considered you a distraction from the bergens soooo he wasn’t too fond of you

- And it takes a while but eventually you both become inseparable

“You hated me for no reason, and now I’m your favorite.”

“Yeah yeah.”

S/O:

- He’s growing as in character development

- So now instead of getting upset he uses your hair to read you

- He never really knows when he’s doing anything right or wrong as far as the relationship so he depends on your hair to know which path to take

- Your info dumping soothes him, wether he likes it or not

- He plays it off subtly but he knows how to fluster you and he takes pride in that (*AHEM* SINGING)

Poppy:

Friend:

- Doesn’t even realize that you’re rambling cause she’s doing it too

- You both are a special duo that at one point drove Branch up a tree (no pun intended)

- As much as the trolls like you, they don’t realize how actually dangerous you two could be together 😭

- And you can imagine the fear on Branch’s face when he finds out Viva and Poppy are sisters

S/O:

- Everyone knows Poppy is a scrapbooking master so when she begins to receive little arts and crafts from you she’s in love

- Like she’s bouncing off the wall excited

- Literally (it’s Poppy)

- She’s superrr touchy-feely so your living your best life

- Your hair is so fun and amusing to her

- Like JD she might try to scare you a couple times to see your hair spike up for fun but cuddles you after

“I’m sorry sweetieeee you know I can’t help it. Your hair is just so fun!”

“Poppyyyy you say that everytimeeee!”

Viva:

Friends:

- Basically Poppy’s doppelgänger so what can you expect?!

- Always rambling but somehow always manages to do it more than you

- She might just be you plus Poppy times five

- Clay tried to help you hide your hair for the sake of you and Viva

- Unfortunately she popped up out of nowhere startling you both and causing your hair to go erratic

“So so sorry guys I didn’t mean to…OMG YOUR HAIR!”

S/O:

- Everything you could ask for from a girlfriend

- Like she literally could not have given you anymore

- She loves your art works

- She loves to hear you talk and join in with you

- She loves the touchy-feely type

- She literally can’t find a single flaw in you whatsoever

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poohnotpiku · 1 month

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Chapter 13 : Pooh & Feminism

Hey Peeps…Longggg Time! After a long gap, Pooh is trying to bring back her blogging bug with a controversial topic i.e. Feminism. Feminism is a concept which has seen varying descriptions and avatars, since its inception. When asked what is Feminism, there is no limits to one’s imagination for an explanation. You will hear most heart touching definitions to the most horrendous views, depending on who is answering!!

Pooh also has her rights, when it comes to define and practice feminism. YES, I am a Feminist! A Feminist with her own definition of Feminism!!

Feminism for me means being respectful and supportive of one another and it has nothing to do with Female gender. Feminism means fighting for Equity and not Equality. Feminism is more about empathizing than sympathizing. No gender needs pity or sympathy, we all just need understanding and compassion. Stop calling any gender the ‘weaker sex’. God didn’t make one gender strong and others weak. Each gender has its own strengths and weaknesses. We need people to not make assumptions and opinions on some pre-defined notions. It would be great if people with rigid and rudimentary thoughts could just for once come out of these boundaries and breathe in the open air!!

There are a few anecdotes which just left Pooh shell-shocked! Sharing some of them below :

Scene#1

Pooh is out veggie shopping and the vendor says ‘Bhabhiji, sab sabji ekdam fresh hai….itna accha khana aap banayenge ki bhaiya khush ho jayenge!’ (translation : the veggies are totally fresh and your husband would love whatever you cook with these!!)

Unmarried Feminist Pooh, who also hates cooking, was left dumbfounded…I was literally speechless…my mind was running in all directions…which point should I clarify with this moron first?? Point that I am not married and hence there is no bhaiya for this bhabhi? Or the point that I simply hate cooking? Or the point that who the heck he is to assume that a wife would cook for her husband and not vice-versa?

Instead I just smiled and walked away. Later, while having my tea, I went through all the possible comebacks I could have used!!! The best was ‘Bhaiya ko cook k haath se bana khana zyada pasand hai!!’ (Translation : The husband loves meal prepared by our cook more than mine!!) I can just imagine the expression on his face if only I had used my wit at the right time!!!

Scene#2

Pooh was in the managerial round (last round of interview) in a global company and salary negotiation discussions were going on. I wasn’t asking even the market value but much less, still this manager was hackling with me for 20mins or so. At the end he says : “Why do you even need this much salary? It’s just going to be your pocket money!” Again. I was left speechless. I didn’t want to take any panga and just ignored the remark. But today after 7-8 years when I look back on that incident, I feel so much anger on myself that why didn’t I escalate that stupid man to the HR!!!!

Scene#3

We were in a social gathering and I heard a middle-aged man saying : “Women were made by God to breed, give birth and look after the family and the house. But, nowadays women want more and that is against nature’s definition for their role. So, they are going to suffer and they should not crib….”

Yet again, Pooh was left speechless. Yet again, worrying about society, Pooh didn’t answer back to that ignorant man. Yet again, chauvinism was allowed to win by the ‘weaker sex’!!!!

--x--

There are many such anecdotes but no antidote yet! In fact, at times, we ourselves laugh away at statements like ‘is it that day of the month for you?’, ‘don’t give excuse of hormonal misbalance again’, ‘you need someone to support you’, ‘let the men of the family handle this’ etc etc

No one can help you, until you decide to help yourself. So, instead of being a silent spectator or the meek oppressed, we need to speak out…Speak with conviction and confidence…World is changing but still there is a long way to go, before all can truly understand and appreciate Feminism!!

Ending with a quote by Malala Yousafzai :

' I raise up my voice—not so that I can shout, but so that those without a voice can be heard. … We cannot all succeed when half of us are held back. '

Until next time, ciao!!!!

#poohnotpiku #feminism #im serious #self love

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tea-with-evan-and-me · 8 months

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Something that makes me so angry is when I see people compare the Gabby Petito case to what happened with Emma and Evan. I find it to be so disrespectful and offensive. They are completely different and unrelated cases. The people that compare them do so because they think the only reason Emma was arrested was because Evan had visible injuries which is not true. It was so irresponsible of news outlets who were summarizing the TMZ article to not clarify that it was Emma’s team who said that and not the police. The police took statements and that, in addition to the injuries, is what led them to arrest Emma. I also saw people talking about the bite mark and how biting is a common way to defend yourself and like yeah it is but just because Evan had a bite mark doesn’t mean that Emma was defending herself. One reason she could have bit him is because he was trying to restrain her to get her to calm down and stop. The bruises Emma got on her legs are not defensive injuries or injuries that are indicative of being abused. Evan’s were. I just think that if people want to comment on Emvan, or any dv case, then they need to seriously look into it first instead of just reading one article. Because it’s so obvious that the people who try to spin it to how Emma could have been the victim clearly have not seriously looked into it. Mind you I see people doing this on a celebrity gossip subreddit, you would think these people would be familiar with the blinds about Emma if they’re going to comment on her arrest.

honestly, people who attempt to compare these two situations in defense of emma are profoundly disturbed. there’s absolutely no reason to do it other than for shock value, and stirring up emotion so that the reader will suspend their rational thinking.

in reality, there is nothing about what took place between emma and evan that is indicative of anything besides emma being the aggressor and the only one who was violent. as far as bite marks go, if one person has a bloody nose and bite marks and the other is uninjured, i think it’s far more logical and likely that the person who was attacked was trying to hold and subdue the aggressor, and in response they bit them to try and get back to beating them.

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elriell · 3 years

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Some jumbled up thoughts about Elain, Lucien and Azriel + Mating Bonds

There have been a lot of conversations regarding this topic and I thought I’d flesh it out a bit myself, but these are facts/observations that as a fandom many have noticed, discussed, analysed. I just wanted to dive in myself fully.

I want to talk about each of them individually as well as, as a whole. Their emotions and mindsets, as someone who loves all three characters and wishes for all of them to get a happy ending. I will preface this with saying I will be discussing why it is very likely Elain will reject the bond and such things, so along the lines of Anti-Elucien. If you are a fan of them, thats cool, just skip this one if you happen upon it.

We are going to dive in to the following;

Lucien & Elain (their choices)

Lucien & Azriel (contrast)

Rejecting the Bond

New Bonds

Fate & THE POV

and why the writing is basically telling us everything we need to know...

Lucien

Lucien is noble male, he has a good heart and has suffered his plenty, and this is why people want what is best for him, to be the happiest he can... Unfortunately I think that in this case Elain is not it.

He is right to feel that way, just as Elain has a right to feel as she does. I think it is incredibly interesting that when we finally see from his POV we see that in a way he feels as though this has been thrust on them.

That with his last love he had a choice and so did she.

It reminds me very much of this line about Rhysand’s parents, who were an example of an unhappy mating bond.

We will deep dive in to wrong matches further down, but the fact is that mated couples are not always indicators of true paired souls, that they very well could be the couple that do not end up happy together.

I speak on Elain and her agency a lot because I feel like a large portion of the fandom like to discard it as if it means nothing, and even judge her for it but if we actually take a look at Lucien’s behaviour he is not all that more happy.

There are some key differences between them though, Lucien as a male feels their bond to a different degree than she does, and he also has been raised to believe and respect the bond. And thus he feels a certain obligation to honour it in the best way he can.

This doesn’t mean he thinks she is right for him, any further than his attraction to her (which like same dude same), he hasn’t displayed any signs that they actually aline as a couple. And I feel like SJM clearly highlights this when she sets examples of his gifts not being... well right for her.

The gloves we know she never wears show us how little they know each other as she loves to get dirty [which Feyre had told him] and the pearl necklace is then contrasted by Azriels which was very personalised to Elain.

(The rose, the secret beauty of it hitting the light etc...)

These are all deliberate moves by Sarah to showcase their misaligned bond.

And during Elain’s section I will also be pointing out some Lucien moments that really don’t read well for him. I genuinely believe he is much happier amongst the Band of Exhiles than he is when he is seen with The Inner Circus.

Elain

Here is the thing, this situation isn’t any easier on him that’s true but people need to respect Elains feelings, and the fact is she does not like him. Not only does she not like him but she shrinks in on herself, she looses all the progress and confidence she has made since the Cauldron. That is not a good sign of anything healthy.

If this is suppose to be a romance we root for why is she doing everything in her power to make it seem the opposite? If she genuinely was playing the long game she would have at least started to make them comfortable around each other, goodness they don’t even have to talk, but she does the opposite.

She emphasises that he brings out the bad in her. Again, no bueno. She quite simply does not want to be around him and with SJM’s writing I think this is highly deliberate on her part.

[And let’s be clear there are countless quotes from the other books that do NOT reflect well on their relationship but I am trying to stick to ACOSF, as it is her most recent work, otherwise I would be here all day.]

Rejecting the Bond

We have almost a two page discussion on why mating bonds are not an exact science, and that they can be more harmful than good. We are given two examples of it, with both Rhys’ and Tamlin’s parents. And then we get a very subtle hit at Azriel. This is all in the book Sarah said she began planting the seeds for the sisters journeys.

We also know from this there is a choice. But that many force it, because they feel it it right, (much like Lucien is probably doing right now, because he feels a duty and hope that it will work out.)

Then we have the fact thrown at us that a lot of males believe that their mate belongs to them and will challenge the other male, which we now have a call back to with Rhys’ mentioning “The Blood Duel”.

There is literally not one reason Sarah would put this in TWICE only for it never to happen or come close too happening. How anyone can question at this point that Elriel will happen is confusing to me, she has laid all the groundwork for it.

Now I don’t believe for a second that Lucien wouldn’t respect her choice, I think it will most certainly come down to Beron forcing his hand to wage the war we know he wants.

I think despite what Rhys said in Azriel’s POV under immense stress, TNC will protect Elain and ultimately stand by her decision.

Not only does ACOSF spend a great deal of time creating a further divide between Elain & Lucien it also add a shockingly large quantity of easter eggs about “Elain choosing bonds” “Other Mate” “What if it chose wrong?” and again in this book like in ACOMAF we bring back up a failed mated pair to remind you of it’s existence.

All possible signs lean towards them breaking the bond.

And frankly from a storytelling perspective having three perfect bonds that are basically the same overarching love story (enemies to lovers) is boring, she would want to shake it up and throw a little curveball.

Lucien + Azriel & Why I think Azriel will have a bond with Elain.

“If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate” And low and behold it is Azriel who figures out what was going on with her. Not to mention in the reveal SJM further displays that Lucien has no clue what was going on with her.

I don’t know what bridge holds their bond but I wouldn’t trust crossing it personally... :/

Further still, Lucien cannot hear her heart. Their bond is definitely not strong but you could also argue that is not an element of the bond at all but rather of her abilities perhaps. Since we know she could hear the sea too though it was nowhere close by.

But Azriel did hear her, he did pay attention and he figured out what was amiss.

It is interesting to me that people took such issue with this when I believe very few have issues with Rhys or Cassian fighting for their respective partners. Now I have gone in to it in depth about how I think that this was pure emotion and illogical on Azriel’s part, and I don’t believe he would kill Lucien so carelessly.

I think it speaks to the same blind emotion a lot of them have displayed for their mates, Lucien may have wanted to see if she was worth it but Azriel knows she is worth the fight.

And for all intensive purposes in that moment he was willing to fight for someone he believes shares his feelings.

Now let’s tackle the whole “Possessive” crap.

First of all, all of the male pairings in this series have shown moments like this, so if it is bothering you here why isn’t it bothering you at other points?

Lucien has been just as instinctively possessive from their bond, and let me clarify, I am not shaming him for that anymore than anyone else. What I am pointing out is the double standard, if anything Azriel has more reason to feel like he can fight for her because she has actually shown him care, interest and attraction.

They have actually bonded a lot more than she has with Lucien thus far.

And if they truly do have an upcoming bond then judging him on three paragraphs when we don’t know what the heck is going on is just ridiculous.

On the same note of that scene, let’s talk about “deserve”

First of all he never said he deserved her, Rhys implied that is what he was gleaning from the conversation and that it is just lust, which we know is not the case. Clearly Rhys perception is not accurate at all so to take his statement at face value and call it fact is a bit disingenuous.

Azriel wasn’t claiming he deserves her, did you read his POV at all?? He didn’t even feel like his hands should touch her let alone deserve her. Please go back and read that chapter again if you can’t see that.

Not to mention I think that the idea of FATE, and believing in hope even when the odds are stacked against you (AKA her having a mate) is actually very consistent with SJM storytelling and Az. Remember this;

The fact that he is hopeful despite the despair of his situation is exactly what people have valued about him. Not to mention after Rhys says this to Azriel he says to them;

So Rhys too believes they were brought in his family for a reason, some sort of fate.

Amren too thinks they are blessed by fate. Why is it so shocking and offensive that Azriel have a little hope that there is a reason they came in to their lives? Because he isn’t with your fav?

Let’s be honest he didn’t exactly get over Mor in ACOMAF, ACOWAR and then even ACOFAS there are slight moments, thats over a long period. Three sisters didn’t just arrive and he went TAG “I want one.”

No, he genuinely grew to care for Elain, and let go of his past, and in watching Elain not find any connection with her mate he saw it as a sign that the Cauldron was wrong, which we know it can be.

I don’t know if people are selective readers but if you think that he doesn’t care for her as a person beyond being a “sister” I don’t know what to tell you, we are not reading the same books.

ANYWAYS back on topic.

I think Sarah has laid a lot of groundwork for her breaking the bond and perhaps choosing a new one. I know not everyone is keen on another bond as they feel her free will and choice is enough, that’s fair and I agree to a point.

I just wanted to analyse the data at hand, and I do believe after ACOSF (I never thought it prior really) that they are mates in some capacity, whether that is because of the Cauldron or something that will occur... I think she has laid enough groundwork for them being Soulmates at the least. Hence why I love the idea of a Carranam bond.

There are so many parallels between Rhys, Cassian & Az that could be taken as little signs but honestly this is long enough I am sure you all want to kill me already for making you read all that hahaha

One last little morsel, it very well might be nothing but Az shouting after they take Elain is an interesting choice, it’s ambiguous enough that you can take it to mean the pain but it could also be another little crumb.

Basically with all said and done I think she will give Elain her agency back and break it.

And potentially something will occur with Azriel as a result but thats certainly more grey than the rest of it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!

Obviously, to each their own opinion, have fun and ship whatever you want these are just my thoughts on the text at hand!

(Also I am sorry I got like 20+ messages to get to in my inbox, yeah I kinda ignored everyone and worked on this today, sorry!!! I’ll be back tomorrow)

#elriel #elriel mates #elain archeron #azriel #acosf spoilers #acosf #acotar #azriel x elain #elriel meta #myelriel #anti elucien #anti-elucien

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prettywordsyouleft · 3 years

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Addressing Feelings

Prompt: “I have no idea where to go next.” -- @challengingwords challenge #38

Pairing: Kim Kibum (Key) x female reader

Genre: fluff / enemies to lovers / fashion au

Warnings: none

Word count: 1196

“I have no idea where to go next,” you exhaled, and your employee Karla glanced at you, soon sharing a sympathetic smile and a nod of her head.

“Me too. Life is hard, but we’ve just got to carry on, Y/N.”

Staring at the younger girl, you soon realised what she meant, and an amused grin crossed your lips. Pointing to the stack of dresses you were marking down, you waited until she noticed what you meant.

Karla merely looked at you for further explanation.

“Thank you for sharing that bit of motivational talk, Karla. Life is hard, but I’m talking about the dresses here. I don’t know why they didn’t sell! I’ve already reduced their price, and now it’s getting dangerously close to the warehouse value. I know some things don’t sell as easily as others, but I had a really good feeling about them.”

Karla made an O with her mouth and then inspected her nails. She was a nice girl, and when it came to fashion, she knew her stuff. But she wasn’t so supportive outside of that. You realised as her boss and the owner of this boutique store, she wasn’t meant to be your sounding board for everything. You just needed to be more assertive to survive in this industry.

And you had done your best with your latest season trends. You had researched daily, keeping up with the hottest styles and accessories. You had sourced out styles that were selling well and ensured the prints you chose were wearable and more unique than the other stores in the local area.

Having a brick and mortar store had always been a dream for you when you first started selling clothes online from within your garage. Now only two years later, you had achieved that dream. The reality was far from the idyllic view you once held of running your own fashion store where everyone loved your vision.

Getting clientele to shop in-store than online was harder than you expected, too.

“That dress is being sold down the road,” Karla suddenly mentioned, and you stopped ruminating over your problem, your eyes narrowing on the spoken information.

“Down the road? At Unlock? Why are you only sharing this with me now? For how much?!”

“Boss, find your Zen. Key isn’t worth getting worked up over. He has a different vision than we do.”

“But he’s selling the same items as us again,” you grumbled, your heckles still up.

Kim Kibum, or Key as he was more commonly known within fashion circles, was your biggest competition in the area. At first, you had admired the man. He had a way with fashion that always left you confused, yet inspired. Everything, even the most questionable of outfits, seemed to work on him, and when he had first walked into your store and complimented your setup, you had been stoked.

Until after his proper examination of your entire vision and layout, he went and opened a store five doors down that had several key statement pieces of your current collection in his front window.

“That thieving man,” you muttered, remembering back to when the dresses came in. You had displayed them in the front window for the first week. You had basically given him the ammunition yourself.

Kibum wasn’t the only one selling the dress, though. You knew of a couple more boutiques nationwide stocking it also. The difference was you were both in the same place trying to make the same dress sell.

And it seemed he had managed that whilst you hadn’t.

“Karla, mind the shop for me, won’t you? I’ll be fifteen.”

“Zen, Y/N! Don’t argue today!”

“Inner peace will come after this, don’t worry!” you called over your shoulder before marching down the sidewalk and right into Unlock. Unlike in your store, where you chose music that suited the tone of your vision, Kibum’s was edgier and the music was louder. You used it to your advantage to slip in mostly unnoticed and moved right to the racks near a wall.

You found the dress and gasped at the price he had it at.

“Y/N, usually it’s always a pleasure to see you, but we agreed we wouldn’t snoop around in each other’s stores personally.”

You grunted at the man who appeared at your side and placed your hands firmly on your hips. “I see your stealth tactics are still ever so impeccable.”

The smirk that crossed Kibum’s lips wasn’t lost on you and was all the invitation you required to scowl at the man.

“Now, Y/N, are you trying to flatter me or insult me?”

“I wish you would play fair.”

“I am. This is my store. What you do in yours is completely your decision. And the same happens here.”

“You know I’m carrying this dress, and you made me look like the price I’ve had it at is unreasonable.”

“Your price mark-up isn’t my concern,” he explained and then gestured to his staff only door. “However, if you’d like to have a coffee with me-”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to make my boutique look-”

A handsome man approached you both then, and you noticed the immediate unease in your opponent. The stranger glanced between you both before chuckling. “Ah, so this is that Y/N you like, huh?”

“What?”

“I’m Choi Minho, Key’s friend.”

“Ex-friend now,” Kibum muttered, rolling his eyes and letting out a sigh.

“I’m sorry, you’re mistaken. This man has nothing but contempt for me and my business,” you clarified, and Minho frowned, looking at Kibum, who was visibly facing inner turmoil.

Feeling some decency towards him, you backed off. You might dislike the man, but you didn’t like seeing him suffer either.

However, Kibum reached out for your wrist. “There’s a reason for the dress.”

“Which is?”

“It got you in here, didn’t it? You’ve avoided me forever now. You’ve got me blocked on all social media and-”

“Are you serious? You’re going to tell me this was to get me in here so you could apologise for snooping on my boutique and taking my clients?”

Kibum, cringed, shaking his head. “No. Whatever you think I’ve done isn’t something I would do. Having a good business ethic matters to me too, no matter what you think of me.”

“Then?”

Kibum glanced at his friend, who subtlety gave him encouragement with a raised fist. Returning his focus to you, Kibum’s confidence was back together. “Coffee. I want to have some time with you. Not as a fashion store owner. But as the person you are.”

“I don’t drink coffee,” you blurted out immediately, mostly from the shock. Kibum’s expression didn’t falter, but his eyes grew guarded. Waving your hands around, you laughed sheepishly. “I like tea, though!”

“Tea,” he echoed, his lips curling up. “Tea, juice, heck, even water is fine by me. Just give me an hour of your time.”

“Deal. And about the dress?”

“I’ll pull it from the line and tell people where to find it if you really want me to,” he offered, which surprised you.

“You’d do that?”

Kibum grinned wickedly. “Sure, it’s online. Everyone can find it there.”

_________________

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socionicsdatabase · 4 years

Text

Charles Lindbergh - SLI (ISTp)

Delta Quadra: The Quadra who fears “clipped wings” (Stratiyevskaya)

For Lindbergh, the sky was not the limit. As is typical of Delta Quadra, personal growth and development was a lifelong goal of his. He felt the most free when he could fly, and desired to live a quiet, peaceful life close to nature where he could develop his abilities and see and experience new adventures. He hated being part of crowds, hated fast-paced lifestyles. He wasn’t actively trying to change the world; he was simply pursuing what he loved and trying to maximize his own personal abilities, as is typical for Delta Quadra. He was happiest when he felt close to nature, with the freedom to pursue possibilities and develop his own potential. IP type: “IPs are both dynamic and irrational, so they see reality as in continuous, gradual, often imperceptible change.” (sociotype.com). Lindbergh was comfortable with abrupt changes. He was flexible, adaptive, and took things as they came. He saw the world as constantly being in a state of change, as can be easily seen from his writings.

Temperament: Melancholic - “These are sociotypes that are calm externally, but restless inside. Melancholics are introverts, so they hide their inner experiences under the guise of calm or, conversely, liveliness. The problem of any melancholy is the search for inner harmony, which is so easily destroyed by the rude influences of external factors.” (socionic.ru) Though Lindbergh appeared calm on the outside, it can be seen especially from his diary writings that he was internally restless, with a vast depth of inner experiences.

Lead function: Si (4D, Valued) Lindbergh’s love of aviation and flying stemmed from the physical experience it gave him. When describing his first experience jumping out of a parachute, he said, “It was a love of the air and sky and flying, the lure of adventure, the appreciation of beauty.” He was captivated by natural beauty, and cherished the sensations and experiences his pursuits gave him. He loved being alone out in the wilderness, which he often says gave him an unparalleled freedom. He said, “In the wilderness I sense the miracle of life...” He also noted that “The human future depends on our ability to combine the knowledge of science with the wisdom of the wilderness.” Lindbergh was very aware of the environment around him, the harmony within it, and how it made him feel. “Man must feel the earth to know himself and recognize his values...” He desired to preserve the natural beauty of the world. He had a deep love of nature, believing that modern cities were against the nature of man. “Real freedom lies in wilderness, not civilization”, he said. To Lindbergh, it was important to become united with the earth, to melt into it, and to fully experience the natural beauty it had to offer. He became a conservationist and promoter of environmental causes, once mentioning that he preferred birds to airplanes. Toward the end of his life, he planned his funeral and desired to have as natural a burial as possible.

Creative function: Te (3D, Valued) Lindbergh had natural skills as a mechanic. He went to school to study mechanical engineering and originally intended to pursue it as a career, but as can often happen with SLIs, he did not finish and dropped out to pursue flight school instead. However, he was always interested in engineering and performed all the mechanical work on his planes himself. Later on, in 1935, he helped to develop the world’s first “artificial heart”, a heart perfusion pump (valued Te-Ne). He was impressed by the high quality engineering that he saw in Germany (Te-Si-Ne) and their more advanced development of technology. While assisting with altitude tests at the Mayo Clinic, the new information he came up with at the end of his trials there was used by Henry Ford to modify the oxygen equipment of his airplanes and helped them become safer. He also taught young pilots how to best conserve plane fuel and resources so that they could fly for longer periods of time.

Role function: Ni (2D, Unvalued) Lindbergh was grounded in the world around him and was not very imaginative, but he was capable of occasionally turning his attention to the flow of time and long-term implications, and this seemed to be something he desired to do. This can be seen most easily in his writings. According to Model A, the role function is “seen as somewhat of an importance to the individual, but definitely not emphasized.” Model A also notes that “the role function is triggered situationally, when individuals are met with situations that oppose their base aspect of reality.” Lindbergh preferred experiencing things and was never a natural writer. This may be why use of Ni can be seen most easily in Lindbergh’s writings. He wrote that, “Life is a culmination of the past, an awareness of the present, an indication of a future beyond knowledge...” And also said, “I hope my journals relating to World War II will help clarify issues of the past and thereby contribute to understanding the issues and conditions of the present and future.” He made some effort (especially after being encouraged by his wife) to document what he did, to serve as a reminder of the past for future generations, though this was not his primary motivation in life.

Vulnerable function: Fe (1D, Unvalued) It is well-known that Lindbergh hated large crowds and the attention that fame brought him. He was known to make extreme efforts to avoid people and recognition, such as disguising himself when going out in public. When a large crowd gathered to celebrate his landing, he would make efforts to avoid them. He didn’t like all the attention and disliked attempts to bring him into wider society. He rejected offers to be in movies and commercials. Instead, he strived to live a secluded, private life away from the public eye. Even while working on the development of the heart perfusion pump, he desired to be anonymous and keep his work quiet. He seemed to receive no joy out of the prevailing emotional atmosphere. Instead, he would seek to escape such atmospheres, and saw the attention of the public as “oppressive”, remarking that he “had enough publicity for 15 lives.” His avoidance of larger society and desire to do everything on his own in a self-sufficient way helped earn him the nickname ‘The Lone Eagle’.

Suggestive function: Ne (1D, Valued) Lindbergh spent his whole life unconsciously seeking adventure. As a boy he spent a lot of his free time reading, especially adventure stories. The desire to have new experiences, to see new places, was one of the main motivators behind his aviation pursuits. He quit traditional school to pursue flight school, which he thought could lead him to greater adventure. He loved flying to new places and seeing new things. He also had a respect and love of science, discovery, and innovation. He helped the Aero Medical Unit for Research in Aviation Medicine at the Mayo Clinic. When describing the atomic age of war, Lindbergh expresses his sadness over the potential destruction of nature that the atomic bomb can produce. He says, “I worshipped science. I was awed by its knowledge...Now...I have seen the science I worshipped, and the aircraft I loved destroying the civilization I expected them to serve, and which I thought as permanent as the earth itself.” Here we can again see not only his valuing of Te and Ne, through his love of science and knowledge, but also his preference for Si over Se. He disliked the powerful force of the atomic bomb disrupting the harmony of civilization. He was open to new ideas and encouraged their growth and development. He became very interested in space travel and saw space as the new frontier. He supported the rocketry research of Goddard and Guggenheim and secured funding for their projects. Lindbergh also seemed to have an admiration for people with a wide variety of talents and abilities, and desired to develop his own abilities. For example, he admired his wife’s ability to write and speak different languages. She encouraged him to develop his own writing abilities, and this is something he appreciated and responded well to. Mobilizing function: Fi (2D, Valued) The mobilizing function tends to manifest as something we appreciate and that has a strong influence over our actions (School of Associative Socionics, 2020). This can be seen throughout Lindbergh’s life. He stated that, “Power without moral force to guide it invariably ends in the destruction of the people who wield it. Power...must be backed by morality...” During his time as a civilian observer in the Pacific, he wrote about the cruelty and inhumane treatment of the Japanese that he witnessed, and the view among some of the soldiers that the enemy troops were merely “animals”. He said, “I am shocked at the attitude of our American troops. They have no respect for death, the courage of an enemy soldier, or many of the ordinary decencies of life.” He criticized the dehumanization of enemy troops and said he was concerned by the “lack of respect for even the admirable characteristics of our enemy.” He believed in the dignity of the human person, noting that “No person with a sense of the dignity of mankind can condone the persecution of the Jewish race in Germany.” Lindbergh was also known to be a private person who did not talk much of his feelings, and did not like it when others tried to get him to. According to Stratiyevskaya, “SLI dislikes it very much when intimate things are talked about directly - this is almost like a sacrilege to him.” His wife Anne notes that “he himself never felt the need to explain his feelings about where he stood and about past statements.” He disliked any attempts by others to analyze his soul. According to Grigory Reinin, SLIs “try to protect their emotional sphere from the intruding outsiders in every possible way.” He rejected books that were written about him and wanted the only information about him to be written by himself. He regularly kept a diary, but his Te style prevailed over personal Fi sentiments. Much of his diary writings were objective facts rather than personal emotional experiences. Interestingly, he also had a tendency to record the exact number of words on each page and wrote that number at the top, as a statistic.

Ignoring function: Se (3D, Unvalued) Lindbergh was outspoken against war and preferred not to fight, though he understood it as sometimes necessary and showed respect for enemy troops (valued Fi also present). He said, “If I must fight, I'll fight; but I prefer not to spit at my enemy beforehand.” He understood the value of war and combat, but he did not like it to be used unless absolutely necessary. He did not think the US had a right to interfere in the affairs of other countries. He was publicly outspoken against the pro-war policies of President Franklin Roosevelt and it is known that the two of them did not think favorably of each other. He spoke of the misuse of power as being the greatest threat to mankind, and in 1945 said, “History is full of its misuse. There is no better example than Nazi Germany.” He preferred to appreciate and experience nature for what it was, rather than use force to try to conquer and shape it into something else. His wife Anne also noted that “he never wanted to be regarded as a hero or leader, and he never had political ambitions.” She noted that his speeches and statements were given out of his sincere belief of what was the best thing to do for the country and the world. Demonstrative function: Ti (4D, Unvalued) According to Grigory Reinin, for the SLI “knowing the world is its practical mastering.” We can see this with Lindbergh, who was more interested in experiencing life as it was, rather than trying to fit everything into a logical system. According to Wikisocion, SLIs “tend to feel that life is difficult to categorize and should simply be experienced for what it is.” However, this function is a strong, fundamental part of SLIs and could be seen playing a role in his love of science and his mechanical understanding of planes and gadgets. Though Ti is a strong function that is always working in the background, SLIs use it only situationally, to apply it to things they are interested in. Lindbergh had a strong understanding of how things fit together into a cohesive whole, but he chose not to focus on that and preferred experiencing things.

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caiminnent · 4 years

Text

glass houses [Shaun & Lucy with mentions of one-sided shaundes & deslucy, rated T]

Prompt(s): sleep deprivation (BTHB, 2/25) + 14

Summary: “We’re in love with the same person. Friendships have been built on less common ground.”

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed

Tags: College AU, Bonding, Pining, Unrequited Crush

2.3K || Also on AO3.

Forty three—no, forty two minutes left to have lunch, get his essay printed and rush to Leonardo’s office on the other side of the campus—and Rebecca is still droning on and on about the part next Saturday, because clearly the life he doesn’t have is more important than the grade he won’t be getting unless they pick up the pace already. Murder on school grounds would probably get him expelled, among other things, which is why he’s only contemplating it; but an under-slept, under-caffeinated man has his limits and he is approaching his fast.

“No, Rebecca,” he repeats on a deep sigh as they finally get in line behind a couple in matching PJ’s, seemingly having a heated argument through sharp looks and contained gestures in that way only couples can. “I do not want to come to the party, thank you very much. I’m not even invited, remember?”

“I could ask Lucy,” she offers, unfazed. “We’re having lunch with her anyway, I could mention it then—”

His stomach drops.

“—I’m sure she won’t mind. I mean, the more the merrier—”

Taking a deep breath through his nose, “We’re what?” he cuts in. The Couple glance over with raised brows and pursed lips, as if he sullied their petty issues by having his own.

She frowns. “What?”

He just shakes his head. Lunch with Lucy, Christ. Today just keeps giving. “You won’t ask her to invite me,” he says, pinning her with his I Mean It, Rebecca look. “Or don’t even hope for a single page from my notes ever again.” She rolls her eyes. “I’ll swear on anything, Rebecca.”

Fishing her phone out of her pocket, “Whatever,” she throws, fingers already dancing on the screen. His own remains suspiciously silent in his bag. “What’s your beef with Lucy anyway?”

The Couple aren’t even pretending not to listen in, half-turned in their direction as they are. He glares steadily at them until they get their noses out of his business and back into their own, although some of those meaningful looks are probably about him this time. Hell if he cares.

“I don’t even know Lucy,” he points out, rubbing at the throbbing spot over his brow—not that that’s ever helped. “Why would I have a problem with her?”

“You get weird whenever I mention her, man. Coulda thought you had a thing for her if I didn’t know better.” Pockets the phone again, shrugging a shoulder at his look. “It’s either that or hate.”

Oh for the love of— “I don’t hate her, either,” he says—the truth, too, no matter the disbelieving face she makes at him. He has no real reason to hate Lucy. He just... doesn’t prefer to share space with her if he doesn’t absolutely have to.

If he sometimes goes out of his way to make sure he doesn’t, well.

By some miracle—more likely, because they’re finally within reach of food—she drops the subject, shoving a tray into his hands and grabbing one of her own. His stomach curls into itself at the sight of half the containers, the other half he can’t even recognise beyond had it before and didn’t die.

He accepts a serving of each and trails off after Rebecca.

Once they push past the growing crowd towards the tables, scanning the sea of heads, “You should try to get along with Lucy, you know,” she pipes up—because Rebecca leaving anything alone would’ve been too much like good luck to happen to him. “You know who she’s friends with.”

“Rebecca.”

“I’m just saying. Sheesh, someone’s touchy today.”

And whose fault is that, he’s about to snap when he spots Lucy off to the side, dumping an ungodly amount of sugar into her coffee—from Creed Coffee, no less. His first stop as soon as he drops off his essay; he’s earned a treat.

Because it’s just that kind of day, Lucy chooses that moment to look up and catch him staring like a buffoon. She beams at him like there was no one she would’ve been happier to see, waving them over.

“There she is,” Rebecca says, taking a sharp turn in her direction. He follows suit, squeezing between tables she breezes through and almost spilling his chow all over people on three separate occasions until they safely take their places across from Lucy.

To his credit, when Lucy smiles at him again, he does try to return it. His face muscles ignore the command entirely.

The women have already jumped into conversation on nothing he particularly cares about; he tunes them out for the most part and buries himself into his ‘food’ instead, fielding Rebecca’s attempts to lure him in with one-word responses and the occasional grunt when he can get away with it. About twenty minutes left; he can make it if he hurries. Maybe. Hopefully.

“Ignore him,” she stage-whispers to Lucy—with ‘him’ sitting right next to them, thank you very much. “His coffee machine broke last night.”

The audacity. “She means she broke it,” he clarifies around his spoon. It’s not grumbling if he’s right.

“Semantics,” she waves it off, reaching for her coat. “I’ll fix it when I get back, promise.”

“Wait, where the hell are you going?”

Raising her brows, “To turn in our papers, like we talked?” Rebecca says, confusion so thick in her tone that he almost doubts his own memory—except he could recognise that glint in her eyes anywhere. “You’ll keep Lucy company while I’m gone, right?”

That meddling little—

“Right,” he says for Lucy’s benefit, who is glancing between them with polite curiosity, doing his best to convey you owe me so much for this with one look. “Of course I will.”

Rebecca dares to grin at him, dropping the pretence altogether. All of three seconds and she’s off, leaving only an unused fork behind.

Without her around, the table has gone alarmingly smaller, Lucy everywhere within his sight unless he stares straight down at his tray. Had he ever been alone with Lucy before? Alone alone, within speaking distance, without anything or anyone to hide behind?

He doesn’t even have coffee to hide behind now.

One slides in front of him.

Raising her hands, “You look like you need it more,” Lucy explains, that too-warm smile on her lips; he feels shittier the longer he looks at it. “No offense.”

“None taken.” He did catch a sight of himself on the way here—not his best moment.

The polite no, thank you he should say is on the tip of his tongue—almost impossible to get out with the warm temptation is sitting right there in front of him, right under his nose, smelling—well, sort of like a unicorn exploded in there and caramel. Not that he can afford to be picky.

Besides, he’s survived vending machine sludge; it only goes up from there.

“Come on, take it,” she insists, honest-to-god batting eyelashes at him. “So that I can feel a little better about asking for your ComLit notes next week.”

He snorts and accepts the bribe, only too eager. It’s syrupy to the point of nauseating, not unlike those energy drinks Rebecca fills the dustbin with, except with a lot less immediate kick. He doubts there’s any caffeine in there, even.

Magic might be involved, however, given the way he’s already feeling a tad closer to human.

He nods his thanks. She returns it.

“You know, Shaun,” she starts slowly, with an odd sort of caution—or maybe he’s just not used to people who think before they speak anymore. “I don’t know what Rebecca threatened you with, but you don’t have to sit with me just to be nice. I know you don’t really like me.”

He can’t help a wince—then a deeper one, when it hits that this was probably among the worst ways he could’ve reacted to a statement like that. Leave it to him to put his foot in his mouth without even opening it.

“It’s fine,” she adds, saving him from himself. “I mean it. Not everyone has to be friends.”

That’s not it, not at all.

Thing is, under different circumstances, they could’ve been friends, he and Lucy. He doesn’t know her, not really; but by the electives they keep coming across each other in and the books she carries, he doesn’t doubt they could find plenty to talk about if, if, he could get his head out of his arse and get over—

Well. He obviously can’t tell her all that.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not you,” he allows, the closest thing to an explanation he can afford to give.

“It’s okay,” she says gently, those huge, impossibly blue puppy eyes of hers trained on his. “I know.”

Blood freezes in his veins.

It’s a simple phrase. It doesn’t have to mean anything beyond the face value. There’s no reason for it to; he’d been careful—more than, really—but that smile, all sadness and sympathy—

He swallows against the bitter taste in his mouth, a light burn all the way down his throat, pooling in the pit of his stomach. “You do?”

“I do,” she confirms, jerking her head somewhere to his far right. He follows her gaze to—

Oh, hell. She does.

“He doesn’t know,” she answers his unasked question, lowly enough that the rush of blood in his ears almost drowns out the words. “Don’t worry, you’re not obvious about it or anything.”

Clearly he is, if she noticed.

He risks another glance—he is sprawled on his seat with an arm resting on the other one, laughing at whatever bollocks story Cross might be telling, that stupid one-strap bag of his sitting on the table.

“You’re sure he doesn’t?” he has to ask, heart both at his feet and racing in his chest somehow.

She nods. “Positive. He’s the worst when it comes to this sort of thing, you wouldn’t believe it. He won’t notice unless you come at him with a brick that says I like you.”

Something at the back of his mind prickles like static.

See, past the initial shock, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where he’d gone wrong. As far as social circles go, his and his are on different planes entirely. They don’t have mutual friends beyond the tangential; they don’t frequent the same places unless Rebecca drags him out to Bad Weather; they hardly talked enough for him to develop this… thing he’s been saddled with, even. He’d thought—as long as he kept to his corner of life where he doesn’t have to face them, he’d thought he could pretend his feelings away.

It had never even occurred to him that someone might notice him not looking. That someone might have reason to care why.

He’s fairly certain of the answer when he asks, his stomach heavy with dread, “Speaking from experience?”

Her face goes carefully blank. It’s as good a confirmation as any.

He takes a deep breath, locking the irrational sting of disappointment down and away, where he can pretend it doesn’t exist, either. What does it matter if she is the competition? He had decided not to pursue that line of thought long ago. What does it matter if he’d already lost?

“You’re not obvious, either,” he tries. She smiles, if that rueful little curl can be called one. “He doesn’t know?”

She shrugs, too nonchalant to actually be that. “Or doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I dropped, like, a lot of hints; no one’s that oblivious.”

Would it be awkward if he kind of sort of maybe wants to give her a hug?

It would, wouldn’t it.

What even is his life.

“Anyway,” she sighs, glancing at her watch. “Time to leave. Vidic’s class.”

Ugh. That he doesn’t envy her for. “Good luck,” he offers, reaching for the cup again—a bit sorry to have taken it from her, now.

She makes a face. “Thanks.” She drops her spoon on her mostly full tray, Rebecca’s abandoned fork with it. “By the way, it’s his birthday next Saturday. We’re having a party at our place; you should come.”

He almost chokes on the next sip, saved by a stray half second. “Me?”

She raises a brow, a perfectly arched duh.

His brain stutters. Why does she—why would she want him there, if she knows? If she—

It makes no sense.

Lucy is still seated across from him, calmly waiting him out like there’s nothing odd to this. Just two friends making casual weekend plans.

Not all that sure it’s not the exhaustion fucking with him, he licks his lips. “So you’re fine with…”

“That you’re on the same boat?” She shrugs again, zipping up her jacket. “We’re in love with the same person. Friendships have been built on less common ground.”

Huh.

Digging into her bag, she comes up with a blue marker, reaching for the other cup. “My number,” she says as she writes on the sleeve and puts it back, written part facing him—all neat, efficient lines, because of course. “Let me know if you make up your mind.”

He nods blankly, for lack of a better response. She smiles, standing up with her tray.

She’s already halfway to the door when he remembers: “I’ll bring the notes!”

She winks at him over her shoulder, fixes her bag and disappears into the crowd.

#Bad Things Happen Bingo #Assassin's Creed #Shaun Hastings #Lucy Stillman #Rebecca Crane #Cai does words #finished fics #glass houses #I did it folks #I finished this before 2019 ended #this was a trip #excuse me while I lie down and die now #hopefully Tumblr won't fuck with my formatting again

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fitdietpills · 4 years

Text

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#Fit Diet Pills #Weight loss #health #supplement #muscle building

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funkymbtifiction · 6 years

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In one of your recent asks, you answered the following (in part): "3) They don’t understand the difference between high Ne and high Si, so they assume having “a lot of ideas” or reflecting makes them an N." I was just wondering if you could clarify why/how those two as dominant functions could be so often confused/misunderstood? Thanks!

People confuse them, because they aren’t self-aware. It’s that simple.

Most people do not have a clear perception of themselves. And if they mistype, they adopt the mantra of whatever functions they think they use, but could not “prove it” or put it into their own words when you press them to do so – which would reveal that is not, in fact, their true type. If, for example, you are a Fi who believe you are a Ti, your understanding of Ti is skewed by your Fi. So you are saying things that sound like Ti (because you’ve read that’s what Ti does) but it is inconsistent with your self-expression. You do not ‘get’ Ti on the visceral gut internal way that you will, when you see yourself doing it as an actual process and realize that’s how you’ve always been, only this is the first time you are aware of the cogs of your brain turning in that particular way.

It is only when you can gain an independent understanding of the functions, and are able to observe yourself actually doing those things in that manner (and not giving lip service and/or falling back on someone else’s definition of that function when someone asks how your function works) that you are truly seeing yourself. Once you find your type, you can actually SEE your mind working – you become consciously aware of and amazed by it.

What you ask me to do in this ask seems simple but it’s difficult. I have pages and pages of INFP vs ISFJ contrasts. I have talked endlessly about what SiNe and NeSi do. I have used characters as examples. I have theorized on what the functions do, at various points in the stack, and I still get asked this on a regular basis. But the easiest explanation may be the one that is most often ignored – one of them is an intuitive, the other one is a sensor.

The intuitive lives, breathes, and speaks “intuitive.” What they say is often abstract, vague, or generalizing; they will come to you with a problem, outline it in vague terms (or sometimes “the facts” of what someone said or did), and not elaborate until you ask them to, on the details – because it never occurred to them you would not intuitively pick up on the meaning between the words; because it is natural for them to do that, themselves. To not ask for clarification on what YOU say, either, because they think they know what you mean (and do not need details, to answer you) or because they know what you mean. I know if I were to press my intuitive-feeler friends in one of two ways, they would become frustrated and/or eased depending on their functions.

The INFP in my life would become angry, defensive, and abstract if I pressed her to tell me how she felt about something; she relays to me the facts but often what comes across in the undercurrent of her words is the high Fi frustration that the world wants me to conform, to be part of this group, and it’s not what I want, and people there are so shallow; I can see right through them. That is not how she says it, but that is exactly what she means – and I get it, because I too am a Fi. I have the exact same internal bristling over the very things that frustrate and anger her most – not because we share the same values (we don’t) but because the same things irritate a Fi – being told what is or what isn’t appropriate to a situation, being asked to conform in a way that we do not want to do, the idea of us or anyone else being “forced” to do anything against our/their will (even if it’s “just” a company picnic whose attendance is “mandatory”)… the sort of things that set us off, where a Fe would think, “but that’s how the game of life is played… yeah, it’s stupid and I’d rather not go to the picnic, it’s lame, but you are overreacting here, just do it for pete’s sake…” but to them it’s not this deep-rooted INSULT or assault against the very foundations of Fi.

That sort of internal resentment toward “the group” is absent in a Fe-user, who would also not become angry, resentful, or resistant when pushed to “share” their feelings – the Fe would open up and be easily able to tell me about them, in plain words. Part of the reason a Fi would become defensive is, to a Fi and their feelings – asking them to tell you how they feel is like asking them to describe the ocean to a person who has never seen a drop of water. Now, to a Fe user, that sounds insane. Emotions have words. You can find a word and use it to describe your feelings! But a Fi has all this wordless, soundless color inside them that is their feelings. They are all tangled up, and it makes the Fi frustrated and angry when they WANT to share and CAN’T put it into words because it feels like none exists.

Trying to describe high Ne is also difficult. It is as if I walk through my day with no expectations and no preset ideas, only to encounter information, and have an instant response, connected idea, or explanation form in my mind – to the extent that if you asked me to speculate on the motives of that person, or what might be a consequence to this action, or how it connects to something else, I could fire off an instant response, treating and mostly believing that my initial instinct not only has merit, but is probably true. Sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong, but I believe what I am saying at the time, and it is never about the tangible things, it is always a theory about something related to it, or “other.”

Today, I was talking to someone, listening to them vent about an ongoing issue they have with a friend, and suddenly my Ne said, “They are doing THIS for THAT reason. Ask them if that’s what they are doing.” And it was. I knew it, so I laid out my intuitive perception (”I think what is happening is that this is messing with you on this level, and you are retaliating with that response, because it is a self-preservation mechanism that makes you feel safe… is that accurate?”) and found out it was right. I do this a lot, because I am working with connections. Unseen connections. That is what strong Ne does. It is not “just” ideas. It is not farting unicorns barfing rainbows. It is not being “bubbly” (kill that stereotype with fire). It is not stupid conversations for their own sake, though we can do what for fun when we get bored. It is the total belief that we are right in what we assume / know about someone, even if we have zero observable evidence to confirm it.

(I do not say this to go “woo, look how awesome intuition is,” because if you use it wrong or do it prematurely or lack enough knowledge to allow yourself to build a broad scope of connections… you will get it wrong a lot of the time and wind up looking like an idiot. And the result of this can be living in the land of delusions and coming across like a moronic asshole. Intuition is serious business, folks. It’s not a cool toy. And the best possible thing you can do for yourself is to not believe your intuitive conclusions about others without proof when you can just ask them, “This is what I think is going on – is that true?” The more you ask, the more you will learn about them, the more accurate your N.)

You will find this in intuitives – the tendency to trust and believe their intuitive insights about the future, about other people and their motives, about what is actually being said by that movie, or song, or television show… is a “fact.” Because in their mind, it is. Ne saw what was there, connected it to something else unconsciously, and handed them a strong perception. Sometimes that is the right perception, and sometimes it is wrong. I have been wrong. My intuitive friends have also been wrong when they have asked me, “Is this why…” or “I think you…” and I have said, “No, not at all.” The thing is, though, N is quick to leap to a conclusion – and N’s have to learn to slow it down to get it right.

I have tested this tendency to operate on Suspicion by spending days where I took note of everything I said, for which I had no tangible evidence or proof – how each time, I assumed I had the intuitive answer. I shocked myself at how many times I inferred things and was eager to leap on them without confirmation – only to easily abandon that perception as soon as contradictory facts or new statements challenged it. And I have also seen how my Fi has influenced my Ne – and in those cases, my intuition has been “off” – I am much more likely to read negative things into people’s motives if I have an “issue” with them which is clouding my judgment than I am to be emotionless and “pure Ne” in assessing something (so that’s also something to think about, if you’re an N – are you being pure N right now, or is your personal bias driving your conclusions?).

What I have just written is intuition. And I can tell you, ISXJs do not think the way I do, nor the way the INFP does. She is like me. So much like me that the only way you could tell the difference is my ability to respond quicker (dom Ne vs aux-Ne) and that her need to push back against any attempts to force her into conformity drives her intuition; it shapes it, so that it is almost always influenced by Personalization – her Ne’s attention goes to herself, her interests, her passions, her beliefs. Her Ne is saturated with her Fi. That is not something I can describe with words, but I can “see” it when we talk to each other. Her Fi is who she is. It is the air she breathes.

I can also “see” Si in my ISFJ friends... but from the outside, it’s something far different than what it is from the inside. Jung had a point when he said that Si creates its own sense of wonder, which is different from intuition, and built entirely of Self. I cannot describe it; I wish I could, because it fascinates me.

For comparison, here’s a post from a Si-dom that talks about their cognitive process; and they have 20 pages on Si in their introverted sensing tag.

- ENFP Mod

#question #infp #enfp #entp #intp #mbti #infj #enfj #intj #entj #type contrast #isfj x infp #infp x isfj

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michaelskinkyshit · 5 years

Text

https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMcommunity/comments/4vsqxz/extreme_dirty_talking_and_you_a_guide_v30/

One day...

It struck me just how much I enjoyed talking dirty. It wasn't enough to just describe what I was going to do, or listen to how great I was, I wanted things to get extraordinarily nasty. Honestly, subs who can please me on this front have been few and far between and I believe it is the responsibility of the top/dominant/sir/ma'am/domme/daddy/mommy/master/whatever to educate and train (at appropriate times).

For this 'lesson' I'm going to use a less dominant voice; I’ll write so that if you don't like my kind of dirty talk, the advice given will still be applicable, as well as applicable to both top and bottom roles.

From previous partners (both vanilla and kinky) I've enjoyed hearing about everything from random thoughts ('There was a cute guy on the train to work today and I wanted to lift my skirt up and tell him he should use my ass in front of everyone') to deeper desires that we would never do ( 'I'm so nasty I want you to watch dogs use me.' (for the record, I'm not into zoophilia, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find that previous statement hot as hell). I love hearing about how my partner has had X sexual partners, and how I'm number Y, and she enjoys me the best. The best dirty talkers find a way to spin their words so they aren’t lying and can still justify saying ‘you’re the best, my favorite’ et cetera.

When it comes to dirty talk: don't restrict yourself or second guess what is valid; sharing is caring, experience is the greatest teacher, knowledge is power.

But, why dirty talk?

If I boil it down it goes like this: two parts. Part one: this kind of dirty talk serves the ego. And it does it in two ways. First, it lets me know what an amazing Dominant I am. Second, you saying these things is 'slutty' and 'dirty.' Now, not only am I an amazing Dominant, but this slutty girl (slutty implies high-experience and demanding libido, things that other males value) not only wants/desires/needs me, but chose (choice being sexier than force or coercion) me to be her Dominant.

Second: it clarifies things. If we’re playing that means I trust you, the words coming out of your mouth give me information that I accept and boom, I know more about you, furthering the connection, and my arousal.

Also, people are perverts, and so when perverts find each other it should be a celebration! Share, share, share. It lets us perverts know we aren’t alone in the world. When you confess to anyone that you have similar thoughts about fucking those random people you see, or that watching Star Trek gave you an idea for an amazing porno, it turns people on! Things like that bring us together through common ground, that we can then fuck on. On top of not feeling alone, mutual understanding is incredibly erotic, as I somewhat mentioned before.

Now my brand of dirty talk is all about degrading and humiliating my bottom, not in the sense of making her dumber or embarrassed, but in the name of legitimizing her alleged 'slut nature.' My goal is to take that allegation and turn it into a fact, a reality, that we can prance and frolic around until there are no more bodily fluids left. Think of dirty talk as a verbal certificate of proof.

We’ve covered my personal interest, and my ideas of general interest. Now we come to the actual how to section of this guide. It’s broken up into two parts. The first are the four rules, start with number 1 and once you feel you’ve mastered and taken all you can from it, work your way down the list.

Rule No. 1: Say Anything

We all have to start somewhere whether it’s ‘that feels good,’ ‘fuck me,’ or ‘use this filthy fuck slut!’ you’ve gotta have a base of what to say. Think about this, write things down you can say, find porn where there is a lot of dirty talk (I’d recommend stuff with Jenna Haze if you’re a girl, and for a guy... James Dean is pretty good) and copy them.

Now that you have this: practice! My favorite time is either when I’m masturbating, in the shower, or masturbating in the shower. Any thoughts of ‘I’m an idiot talking to myself’ that come up, ignore them. Focus on your end result, your goal: you want to be better at talking dirty, this is how you do it. Who cares how you get it? Just get it.

Another train of thought to follow is Dan Savage's gonna do, doing, did.

1) Say what you're gonna do (I'm gonna fuck you!) 2) Say what you're doing (I'm fucking you so hard!) 3) Say what you did (I fucked you so hard!)

Rule No. 2: Repeat

Now that you have some ground work (or maybe you are working off your partner who already has) it’s time to make things stupid-easy. Just repeat the premise of whatever they said. Do this until you feel you’ve mastered it, but it will seriously help you up your game, as well as not have to devote a ton of mind power to constantly being fresh which is hard for beginners.

An example for subs

I say to my sub: 'Are you a stupid fucking slut?'

her answer:

'I'm a stupid fucking slut.'

If you’re a dom and your sub says:

‘I love fucking your cock, sir.’

You respond:

‘I know you love fucking my cock, slut.’

For dominants repeating, I’d recommend providing whatever variation you can on it, at the end of the day, you do you.

Rule No. 3: Escalate

You’ve got a base, you have repetition in your tool box so you can use that when you need to. Now it’s time for escalation. You want dirty talk to go to eleven. This is hopefully as easy as the repetition, and can be combined as well. Using the example from repetition, I say to my sub:

'Are you a stupid fucking slut?'

her response:

'I'm the stupidest, dirtiest slut you've fucked.'

Escalation doesn't have to be exact. Now, the dom example:

I love fucking your cock, sir’

The dom’s response

You live to fuck my cock, slut, you need it every day!’

Rule No. 4: Variation

Try not to, though we all have favorites, repeat too much. Don't use a word or phrase over and over and over and... well, you get it. Variety is the spice of life and also the spice of extreme dirty talk. That said, we have favorites. For me it’s the title slut, and the modifier little. Switching things up, weaving in and out, creates a symphony. I don’t think many people want to hear the same key on a piano played over and over.

Rule No. 5: Creativity

By now you've gotten into the swing of things and no longer need your partner to guide you or give you something to repeat.

Time to get creative, step outside your box (vagina joke) and see what you come up with. Go back to those pornos or sit down with your partner. Real talk: you're probably going to spit some shit that sounds pretty crazy, but honestly sometimes that's the best shit to spit. The whole dog thing is pretty extreme--and was shocking--but I totally dug it.

Creative wise, or even just building basic dirty talk, you'll want to start with these categories.

Confess:

Revealing a secret, whether it be one from the past, or present. Or just making a blanket statement is cool too.

Sub Example:

See the whole guy-on-the-train example from earlier as a confession, or this basic statement: 'This stupid slut needs your cum in her filthy holes.'

Dom example:

‘I’ve wanted to use you all day, little slut.’

It’s a simple statement, but you’re still confessing something. Confessions don’t have to be big or grandiose.

Request:

Beg, plead, desperately (or confidently) request something.

Sub Example:

'Please, please, please, I need your dick in me. I don't care which hole, just use me like the filthy dumb cum dump I am.'

Dom Example:

‘Now, will you please get on your knees like a good girl, bend over and show me those fuck holes.’

Demand:

The opposite of requesting, but equally as exciting.

Sub Example:

'You better fuck me like the nasty whore I am.'

Dom Example:

‘Take my cock down your throat right now, slut!’

Compliment:

Who don't love themselves some compliment?

Sub Example:

'I fucked all the guys at school but I like you the best.'

Dom Example:

‘You have such a perfect little ass, and I love the way it serves me.’

Worship:

This is, to an extent, just an extreme version of compliment. Worship is defined as:

the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity

Try and take that on when you worship, appreciate that person as a goddess/god.

Reluctance:

Something I recently discovered and really turns me on.

Sub Example:

'please don’t tell anyone what a slut I am.’ ‘Why is this making me so wet?’

Dom Example:

‘I shouldn’t be fucking you, but you’re such a slut...’

They meld a bit with requests, confessions, et cetera, but that’s okay. Combine and see what you get. (Credit to u/01291987 for sub examples)

Resistance

This can be sarcasm, or playful banter, or flat out resistance as a means of escalation. I personally don't enjoy this in my dirty talk, but if you enjoy playing with or as a brat, this is a major piece.

One thing I enjoy in my dirty talk is having my sub speak from the third person. 'This slut, your fuck-toy, cock-toy, she, her, it.' Sometimes she'll use her title: 'Slut wants to have sex. Will you please give cum-pig your cock?' But, even if it's 'Mmm, Jane is such a nasty cock toy' I still go crazy. This is due to objectification, which I find to be a huge turn on. Doing this all the time can be a bit old, but 50 to 70 percent of the time, that seems to be the golden ratio.

Never take action out of fear, and never avoid taking action out of fear. Brain storm with friends, use word games. Creativity is kind of strange in that it can come at strange times. Don't judge yourself for being weird. Jump in, or take baby steps, whatever works for you.

And like everything in life, if you want to get better at something: practice.

All the best!

Edited for formatting, added Dan Savage's sage advice, spelling cause grammar hard...

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inyournightmares97 · 6 years

Text

‘LOOK’ - The Art Gallery (4/7)

A/N: This is a drabble series I’m making based on the locations in the ‘Look’ M/V! Credits for the idea go to @daddymarktuan!!

All right, Hyung-Line is down! Maknae-Line is scheduled for tomorrow!

The House Party (1/7)

The Bridge (2/7)

The Woods (3/7)

The Old House (5/7)

The Garden (6/7)

The Record Store (7/7)

“Relax! You look way too nervous. You can do this!”

You smiled gratefully at the woman who patted on you back. Jieun was the manager of the art gallery, and also the person who had invited you to put your paintings on display at the prestigious center. You had never dared to imagine your paintings being displayed in such a famous gallery, alongside the work of artists whose work sold for millions. It was a dream come true and you were almost trembling in your uncomfortable high heels.

You smoothed down your expensive dress and grabbed a glass of wine from a passing waiter. It was nerve-wracking to watch art critics and rich people walk past your paintings. It wasn’t extremely likely that you would manage to sell anything today. It was your first time at an exhibition like this, of course... but if you did manage to sell then the work would probably fetch you a pretty penny.

Honestly, you could do with the money.

You spent most of the evening talking to people, trying not to look too flustered as a few people stopped to compliment your paintings and ask questions about. Some of the major critics passed by completely, but one of them nodded appreciatively and another paused to tell you that he was impressed by your technique. It was more than you had expected and you were practically floating on clouds as the evening passed.

“Do you have a second?” Jieun asked, taking your arm gently to draw you aside once you’d finished speaking to some guests. “There’s a gentleman that’s expressed interest in buying one of your pieces. Should I share the quotes we agreed on with him?”

You were shocked. “Really? None of the people I spoke to expressed an interest in buying. Which one does he want to buy?”

Jieun pressed her lips together tightly and sighed. “The... the one of the couple. I know you said that you were only going to put that one up for display but maybe you should consider selling it. This man’s one of our regular patrons and he will probably offer a better price than you could get anywhere else.”

You bit your lip. That painting had too much sentimental value to you; you had only agreed to have it on display because Jieun had insisted that it was too beautiful to keep locked up. You glanced towards the large framed painting; it was the silhouette of a couple seated in an evening garden, in a gentle pastel tone. It reminded one of innocence, and first love. But for you the meaning was much deeper.

“I wonder what made him pick that one,” you mumbled. “Can I speak to him?”

“Of course, I’ll bring him over.”

You nodded, moving over to stand in front of the painting in question. It was difficult to even look at it because it brought back too many painful memories. But perhaps to someone who was unburdened by the past it might seem like a beautiful painting. You turned around as Jieun escorted a handsome gentleman over towards you.

“This is Park JInyoung, he’s expressed an interest in purchasing your work,” Jieun explained, gesturing towards the well-dressed gentleman. You felt your stomach lurch as you locked eyes with Park Jinyoung. it had been two years since you had seen those deep, intense eyes and you felt slightly light-headed.

“Can you give us a moment, Jieun?” Jinyoung asked the manager calmly. The sound of his gentle, smooth voice brought back memories and you could only stare in helpless silence as Jieun nodded and left the two of you alone.

You turned to him, trying to stay calm. “What are you doing here?”

He blinked at you. “I’m a regular patron of this art gallery.”

You resisted the urge to scoff. Jinyoung, the patron of an art gallery? He was certainly rich enough to spend unimaginable amounts of money on works of art, but he had never been interested in such things. Not until you came to his life. You remembered a time when Park Jinyoung didn’t know the difference between acrylics and oil paints and suddenly he was an art connoisseur?

“That’s not what I meant,” you said firmly. You could see his calm gaze falter slightly at your icy tone. “I mean what are you doing here, on the night that I am part of the exhibition, trying to buy one of my paintings?” you demanded. Your heartbeat thudded as you glanced at the painting. “You know why I painted that one, you know who it was meant for.”

He nodded calmly. “That’s why I want to buy it.”

“It’s not for sale.”

“Jieun said you might be convinced to part with it for a good enough price.”

The statement sent a jolt through you. Jinyoung seemed to realize he had made a mistake because his eyes widened slightly when you gave him a furious look. “The painting is not for sale. I’m not for sale.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “I never said you were for sale.”

“I’m sorry, I apologize for jumping to conclusions. But surely you would understand why I felt the need to clarify, considering how events transpired between us two years ago.” You were on the verge of breaking, but you folded your arms across your chest and tried to maintain composure. “You could never offer me a price that would satisfy me.”

Jinyoung blinked at you. There was a long silence as you both stared at each other, drinking in the sight after two long years of no contact. Jinyoung’s handsome face was just like it had always been. You felt your heart skip a beat when he gently dropped his gaze and gave you a sad smile. “I should have known you would never take my money. Can I offer you an apology instead? I want to, but I feel like you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Do you hate me that much?”

You gave him a dry smile. “Don’t I have a right to? Art is everything to me, and you knew that. You promised to make me happy and just as I was willing to trust you with the rest of my life, you sat me down in front of your parents and watched silently as they asked me to give up the one thing I loved for you.”

Your voice cracked as you spoke. You had tried so hard to erase that night from your mind. The night you had gone to Jinyoung’s house to meet his parents, a brand new diamond ring on your finger. You had expected a pleasant dinner and some small talk, not for your prospective mother-in-law to express her desire that you stop trying to sell your paintings and became a trophy wife to her son instead. But it wasn’t her words that had hurt you. it was the fact that JInyoung had sat there silently and waited for you to reply, waited for you to agree to give up your passion to become his property.

That night it was not only your engagement that broke, but also your trust in Jinyoung.

“I made a mistake,” he admitted softly.

“You certainly did.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he replied gently. His eyes were glazed over as he spoke. “What I did was unforgivable. It was your passion for art and the beauty in your eyes while you painted that made me fall in love with you. But I grew greedy over time, and I let other people control me. I lost your love and your trust, and they were the most valuable things I have ever called mine.”

You folded your arms and stood there in silence. Jinyoung took a deep breath and gave you a soft smile. “I guess I really only came here tonight to tell you this. To say that I love you... and that I’m proud of you.”

He stood there in silence and waited for you to say something, anything. Once he was certain that you were not going to speak to him, he let his gaze fall to the ground and he turned around slowly, his shoulders slumped. There was something about the way he turned away that sent a rush of affection through you. You had loved this man once. He had made you happy, and losing him had been the most difficult thing you had ever gone through. Was it right to let him walk away from you like this?

“Jinyoung,” you called out softly.

He whirled around to face you, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “Yes-”

“Take the painting.”

“I... I thought you didn’t want to sell it,” he said, confused.

You took a deep breath. “I’m not selling. I’m giving it to you. And maybe someday when I’m ready, I’ll... I’ll come find you to ask for it back.”

JInyoung smiled softly. “Of course. Any time.”

#got7 #got7 drabble #park jinyoung #jinyoung scenarios #eyes on you #got7 scenarios

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marymosley · 4 years

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Harvard Professor Lessig Sues New York Times For Defamation

This week seems to be a litigious one for Harvard professors. In addition to the complaint by Dershowitz at Yale, Harvard law professor and liberal political activist Lawrence Lessig is actually suing The New York Times for defamation. While there may be more offered in litigation, the lawsuit on its face seems dubious in establishing that the New York Times ran “false and defamatory” information for him as “clickbait” for readers.

Lessig previously ran for president and has been a long-standing liberal activist. That makes him a public figure for the purposes of defamation who must shoulder a higher burden of proof. The standard for defamation for public figures and officials in the United States is the product of a decision decades ago in New York Times v. Sullivan. Ironically, this is precisely the environment in which the opinion was written and he is precisely the type of plaintiff that the opinion was meant to deter. The Supreme Court ruled that tort law could not be used to overcome First Amendment protections for free speech or the free press. The Court sought to create “breathing space” for the media by articulating that standard that now applies to both public officials and public figures. In order to prevail, West must show either actual knowledge of its falsity or a reckless disregard of the truth. The standard for defamation for public figures and officials in the United States is the product of a decision decades ago in New York Times v. Sullivan. Ironically, this is precisely the environment in which the opinion was written and he is precisely the type of plaintiff that the opinion was meant to deter. The Supreme Court ruled that tort law could not be used to overcome First Amendment protections for free speech or the free press. The Court sought to create “breathing space” for the media by articulating that standard that now applies to both public officials and public figures.

The Lessig lawsuit in the U.S. District Court for the District of Massachusetts contains a fair degree of throat-clearing where Lessig accuses the newspaper of being part of “a growing journalistic culture of clickbaiting: the use of a shocking headline and/or lede to entice readers to click on a particular article, irrespective of the truth of the headline.” The objectionable headline read: “A Harvard Professor Doubles Down: If You Take Epstein’s Money, Do It in Secret.” It was a piece on donations by the notorious Jeffrey Epstein to MIT and whether institutions should accept such money. The article included an interview with Lessig, who says that it suggests wrongly that he was encouraging taking money from people like Epstein. It is not clear, if true, that such a suggestion would constitute a damaging blow to a reputation since the premise is that schools should be able to use such money for a higher and most positive purpose. Indeed, his objections on his blog post could be viewed as nuanced: “My essay said—repeatedly—that such soliciting was a ‘mistake.’ And more importantly, it was a mistake because of the kind of harm it would trigger in both victims and women generally.” Yet, Lessig was arguing that an institution could take money from criminals or unsavory figures when the donor remains anonymous. He also defended Joi Ito, the MIT official responsible, and said that he should not be “scapegoated” for his mistake. Lessig says that he raised objections to the false suggestion that he was supporting taking money from Epstein. The New York Times headline was primarily dedicated to showing that, despite criticism for his view, Lessig was not backing down on the main premise of accepting money from controversial figures.

Accepting the complaint at face value (as would a court on a summary judgment motion from the New York Times), the complaint raises a tough question for the court. Lessig clearly did say in his essay that “it was a mistake to take this money, even if anonymous.” He also said that he conferred with Ito about the money and said that he was upset at the notion before Lessig himself was abused as a child.

However, he also stated:

“It was not my fight. I didn’t have the stomach or the ability then to do my own investigation. I wish now I had just screamed “don’t” to Joi. But I didn’t—and I wouldn’t have. Indeed, though I don’t remember this precisely, I probably told him that if he was convinced, then it was ok. Because the truth is that—as I thought about it then—if Joi believed as he did after real diligence, I didn’t believe he was wrong to take Epstein’s money anonymously.”

In his essay, Lessig creates four “types” to lay out when to accept or to reject money as academic institutions. The last two include:

Type 3 is people who are criminals, but whose wealth does not derive from their crime. This is Epstein, but not just Epstein. It may be that we’ll discover that Epstein got rich by blackmailing people whom he had encouraged or enabled to commit abuse. I doubt it, but it’s possible. Suffice it that when Joi was investigating whether that criminal continued his crime, no one was suggesting that his enormous wealth was the product of blackmail or sex slavery. He was, the world assumed, a brilliant, savant-like investor, who was also a sexual predator.

Type 4 is entities and people whose wealth comes from clearly wrongful or harmful or immoral behavior. The RJ Reynolds Foundation, the Sacklers, the Kochs: I recognize that people have different views about these people or entities, but it is not hard to identify the enormous harm that each has caused. . . . This money is blood money. It is wealth that is great because of the harm.

Lessig’s division of such categories is hardly a model of clarity and the essay gets increasingly murky on where or why he is drawing lines:

“And here then would be the rub for me at least (because most universities don’t follow this rule): I think that universities should not be the launderers of reputation. I think that they should not accept blood money. Or more precisely, I believe that if they are going to accept blood money (type 4) or the money from people convicted of a crime (type 3), they should only ever accept that money anonymously. Anonymity — or as my colleague Chris Robertson would put it, blinding — is the least a university should do to avoid becoming the mechanism through which great wrong is forgiven. Were I king, I would ban non-anonymous gifts of type 3 or type 4.”

He clearly states that, if universities take money from types 3 or 4, it should be done anonymously. While he personally would not do it, the essay could be read as supporting such decisions to accept money from types 3 and 5 donors as within the range of discretion for universities. That makes this case less compelling, particularly for a public figure.

Headlines can be the basis for defamation, even when the body of the column clarifies a false premise or suggestion. However, the headline could be defended as extending Lessig’s point to a more general point involving those accused of criminal or objectionable conduct. I would have still counseled the paper to issue a clarification of the headline since Lessig’s objection is not frivolous. Yet, the question is whether such broader headline is truly defamatory or whether it reflects a more nuanced position by Lessig.

The case could raise such precedent as Wilkow v. Forbes. In that case, Forbes Magazine ran column that reported that Marc Wilkow only paid ($55 million on a $93 million loan and “stiffed” the bank as a shady or sharp operator. Seventh Circuit upheld dismissal in favor of Forbes in ruling these were not false or defamatory statements. Seventh Circuit Judge Frank Easterbook wrote an opinion that such statements can be read in different ways:

“Although a reader might arch an eyebrow at Wilkow’sstrategy, an allegation of greed is not defamatory; sedulous pursuit of self-interest is the engine that propels a market economy. Capitalism certainly does not depend on sharp practices, but neither is an allegation of sharp dealing anything more than an uncharitable opinion. Illinois does not attach damages to name-calling. Wilkow’s current and potential partners would have read this article as an endorsement of Wilkow’sstrategy; they want to invest with a general partner who drives the hardest possible bargain with lenders. By observing that Wilkow used every opening the courts allowed, Forbes may well have improved his standing with investors looking for real estate tax shelters (though surely it did not help his standing with lenders). No matter the net effect of the article, however, it was not defamatory under Illinois law, so the judgment of the district court is affirmed.”

The article in the New York Times suggests that Lessig was offering a realpolitik approach to academic gifts that accepted the money but not the attribution. It is a good-faith view that such money can be put to a more positive use than to leave it with such dubious figures. Moreover, the distinction drawn by Lessig is a tad difficult to follow. He seems to suggest that you can accept money from those accused of some crimes but not others. All crimes have victims. Lessig himself appears to recognize that accepting money from type 3 and 4 donors is within the range of discretion so long as they are anonymous.

A court may be tempted to dismiss this action on its face, but it does not appear particularly compelling for an actual trial.

Here is the lawsuit: Lessig v. New York Times

Harvard Professor Lessig Sues New York Times For Defamation published first on https://immigrationlawyerto.tumblr.com/

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 7 years

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TF2 Headcanon Fic - “The Strength in Tears”

@camiluna27 & I started going down the pairing list, with Pauling/Zhanna(/Soldier) at the top for various reasons. So, have this. It’s 6:30am what is sleep?

-Title: The Strength in Tears-

There had always been animosity between them; rather one-sided, if truth be told, and for no reason either could properly name. Zhanna had simply... taken a dislike to Miss Pauling when she laid eyes on her; there was some strange thought in her mind, when she saw the smaller assassin that told her to be wary.

And yet, even though she accidentally killed the Pauling woman once, it had not been held against her. Zhanna had begun to like the woman's attitude of practicality, even if she had felt it rather shameless that Pauling would dare ogle soldier's honey-coated nudity during battle. Had said so, in fact.

It had been a surprise to have the little loud one, the Scout who followed Miss Pauling like pet bear, be the one to mention the truth to her. He had come, for no reason other than to offer her a bottle of water; maybe sent by another mercenary, perhaps of his own will, who could tell his motivations?

Still, the boy saw her gaze harden as Miss Pauling spoke with Soldier... and his own expression grew annoyed. Like he wished to say something unkind, but could not do so...

How interesting. Before, when offered sex, he could not be silent for more than a second... and yet now when he clearly held something bitter to say, the Scout was quiet. They simply stared at one another for a moment, before his hands unclenched; and he eventually sighed.

"Look, I dunno why ya hate Miss P, 'cause she's super sweet and awesome and all kinds'a badass... but she... well, let's say she wasn't staring at Soldier. And yeah, I heard all about that crap when we got back, in weirdly vivid detail so don't tell me I couldn't know 'cause I wasn't there the whole time."

She raises an eyebrow.

So he adds, "She uh... y'know, can never like someone like me... even if I had a heck of a crush on her. Still do, sorta. But ya should have seen her face when she saw, uh..." he makes a gesture encompassing all of Zhanna, and impressing the concept he'd seen her naked and honey-coated but wasn't willing to say so out-loud for some reason.

It was... a different perspective.

"She... was not looking at Soldier?" she questions, to clarify.

"Heh, not in this universe, I promise. So just... maybe ease up on her, or something? The Administrator's real fucking tough on her most of the time, she barely gets to sleep or eat and only gets one day off a year... I dunno how she hasn't dropped dead of stress..." he pauses, "Though we do have respawn, and she's probably hooked into it, so it doesn't matter if she does... the Admin doesn't like to waste good employees or whatever..."

This was definitely new information, Zhanna would have to consider this further. She puts a hand on his shoulder, the only one she still has, and miles. "You have my thanks, tiny loud one. May your efforts at gaining the attention of your teammate be successful."

She walks determinedly towards Soldier, leaving the runner spluttering denials behind her. Perhaps she was not the only one who had needed to hear the truth this day.

Indeed, the trials they had faced already seemed so paltry in comparison to what had occurred next. The loss of her hand, their deaths and the sudden return to life... none of it mattered. What the Administrator woman had unleashed on them all had been utterly... indescribable.

The only good point of the whole situation was Zhanna being able to see, for herself, the way Miss Pauling reacted when accosted by a beautiful woman. It was somehow humorous to note that a woman who could calmly lecture and degrade dying enemies... was unable to hide her shock and delight at encountering someone she was attracted to.

Zhanna had been briefly concerned the other was liable to pass out in shock, when the Engineer and Administrator entered their temporary shelter. The surprise of all the mercenaries, her dear Soldier included, was tangible; but Miss Pauling was clearly most affected.

She also seemed quite distressed by this turn of events; the reality of why had not become apparent to Zhanna until after all had come to its natural,m hardwon, conclusion. When all debts had been settled, their enemies lay lifeless around them... and the Administrator took her final breath in a life that had lasted far, far longer than any mortal's should.

It was then she knew, and understood why... the fear and loss etched into the young face of Miss Pauling upon first sighting the Administrator. Though Zhanna had not seen her before, it was understood she had been elderly, ancient, and her appearance suitably similar to match. This new, youthful, beautiful face... it was as much a warning as the pretty colourings of poisonous frogs or sea creatures.

It was then, that Zhanna understood her own self, more fully. That is to say, her heart ached oddly to see the tear-stained expression Miss Pauling wore on that day... the strong desire to comfort her surged through her veins.

Miss Pauling excused herself, leaving the solemn mercenaries to riefly glance after her, before returning to their odd little groupings. The Scout looked like he would go after her, but the masked father restrained such an action with a hand; shaking his head to advise the action would be unwelcome.

He did not chase after, at least; though he looked directly across the room to Zhanna. Their eyes met, and she felt him plead with her... because they both knew that Zhanna would be far more welcome than he, at such an emotionally delicate time. Though, in truth, Zhanna hesitated.

Emotions, comforting... these were things Misha did; even now 'Heavy' was checking with the other smaller men, ascertaining all was well. She had envied that, when they were younger; but also mocked him in the way siblings did, for being so sensitive about everyone's needs and thoughts.

The value of such a personality is lost on children, but everything to the more mature. Only now did Zhanna wish to be more like Misha in that area; though they were closely matched in all else, from strength and size to brutality and loyalty.

She glanced to Soldier, beside her. He was half-listening to Demo and Engineer speaking; but turned his head her way at her movement. Many would not credit her Jane as a smart man, for he yelled and showed such reckless enthusiasm about many things; but Zhanna knew different.

Soldier said many things, and some were odd but many tended to be meaningful. He simply communicated differently, as one would expect after the life he had led; she never tired of his stories, and always matched them with her own. Jane liked the one about her first bear hunt, at age five, the most; said it was 'adorable'.

He was clever, exciting and passionate in the bedroom, too; she had never regretted her choice. Sometimes she did wonder how things would have changed if the loud Scout had managed to keep quiet long enough... but, that was a problem for an alternate version of herself, in another universe.

The Zhanna in this one, here and now, tilted her head at Soldier; expressing to him, without words, her intentions. And he, in response, nodded curtly; with a pat on her arm to signify that he understood.

She flashed a brief smile, and turned away. Striding past the other gathered men and after Miss Pauling; whose trail was not the most difficult to follow, despite the many twisting corridors and staircases of this metallic base.

Eventually, they all converged on a cavernous room half-filled with consoles and monitors. all blinking various scenes in black-and-white, some reading 'Error' in stark lettering. None showed any signs of life, save one in the far right-hand corner, which recorded the room they were just in...

In the centre of the room stood a large black chair, with a large oak desk to the side by some filing cabinets. A small microphone sprung up from the wooden surface... Zhanna only noticed because a slender, pale arm half-clad in purple was beside it.

She moved forwards to find Miss Pauling curled into the large leather throne, half-slumped on the desk before it. Sobbing quietly, desolately; like the heart-broken... or the grief-stricken.

Zhanna felt her heart... ache? The pit of her stomach felt hollow, yet roiling; as if she wanted to fight whoever had caused this woman's pain, remove her anguish with her fists. It worked with most problems Zhanna and her family had faced. 'Many fists make short work of a foe' her mamushka always said with a smile.

She takes a step towards the other, and the sound of her footfall registers with Miss Pauling; the purple-clad woman jerks upright, sniffing and hastily scrubbing at the tears trailing furrows down her far-too-pale face.

"I'm-... I'm alright Scout, thanks for coming after me but I don't want to... talk..." she trails off, realising her quiet grieving had not been interrupted by the concerned runner, but rather... by an unexpected person altogether.

"I am not the loud little one, Pauling... but I share his concerns for you." Zhanna bridges the silence, moving closer. She crouches by the chair, placing them at eye-height, with what she hoped was a comforting smile...

"Wh-what are you...?" Miss Pauling questions, not having realised the animosity between them had cooled, been replaced with something far more positive.

Zhanna placed her hand on the other's arm, feeling pleased when the other didn't jerk away. "You have lost someone dear to you, and do not need to hide your tears. Even if I did not feel the way I do for you, I would still come..."

Miss Pauling didn't seem to know how to respond to that statement. She just stared, occasionally sniffling, clearly trying to regulate her breathing and stem the tears that she couldn't seem to stop.

Zhanna continued, trying her best to be soothing. "When someone you care for is gone, it hurts us inside where no one can see... if you do not let it out in the right way, you will stay hurt and I do not wish this for you Little Pauling. You do too much alone, and I want to... help you, listen to the things that make you cry..."

She's fumbling slightly, her words could be so eloquent in Russian, and yet in English they came out so bland. "I mean to say, that I have feelings for you... they make me want to tell you everything will be alright, and kill anyone who dares to infringe on that promise. Your smile... makes my heart glow, like when Soldier shouts sweet things at me, or when he uses his tongue to-..."

Miss Pauling cuts her off with a quick, "Thank you for y-your concerns Zhanna, but I'm f-f-fine..."

Zhanna laughs, not unkindly, but clearly in contest of the statement. "You are crying, alone and away from comfort. That is not fine by any standard, Miss Pauling... so I have come to you, to listen and take the pain from your heart. I am strong, I can help you carry this burden until this has passed, da?"

Miss Pauling looked exhausted, but oddly grateful if not a little bit confused. "You... you want to hear me cry over the Administrator's death? Wh-why? I mean, I kn-know she wasn't the nicest, especially not to m-me but she was all I knew f-for so long..." the purple-clad assassin stutters out, around wheezy sobs, looking all the more frustrated by this uncontrollable display of emotion.

"I was the assistant f-for so long... n-now what am I? And h-how pathetic is it that she's dead, b-but all I can th-think about is mys-self? And I can't st-stop crying, this is so stupid..." she slams her hands on the table, frustrated. "I'm so-... s-so stupid, I've killed and buried s-so many people... and yet, this one d-death has brought me to th-this?"

She laughed in such a hollow, self-deprecating way, that it almost physically pained Zhanna to hear it. She wanted to smack the sound right out of Miss Pauling's mouth, stamp it into the ground and carry the woman away from such incorrect ideologies. But still, she stayed firmly in her place; letting the other speak her mind for the moment. This was necessary, catharsis.

"The Administrator... was the closest thing I h-had to family... even if it got a little weird a-at the end because she used the aust-Australium to become... young and b-beautiful again..." Miss Pauling's fervour is starting to drain, and she's slumping back in the chair, leaning more weight onto the comforting grip of Zhanna's hand. "A-and now she's gone... and wh-what am I but some crying w-weakling? J-just sitting here s-sobbing like a child, in th-the only place that feels s-safe? F-familiar?"

Then Miss Pauling fell silent, with only the few strangled sobs she couldn't prevent from escaping, echoing in the room between them. After a moment, realising all had been said and done, that Miss Pauling's dark thoughts had finally been freed, Zhanna stood up.

She did not ask, but instead picked up the other; holding her carefully, in a grip both gentle and firm, but close. The other was either too stunned, or too worn out to protest; but Zhanna took it as a hopeful sign when the small, delicate death-dealing hands tentatively clutched onto the fabric of her top.

Like a... the Australian bear babies, yes? She could not think of the word just now...

It felt right, to have the smaller so close; where Zhanna knew she was safe, in her arms. With a slight hesitation, the Russian stroked Miss Pauling's dark hair; it was slightly tangled from their trials, but still soft enough.

"Hush now, little (Fioletovyy/Violet), things will be alright in the days to come... but you must let the hurt go, now, in whatever way works for you. Tears, words, sparring, anything that helps you move through them; to know pain, understand and move past it... that is true strength."

Zhanna gently places a kiss on the top of Miss Pauling's head. "You are not weak, little Pauling... you are very strong, always have been. But you have been brave for such a long time, it can be hard to realise it is okay to let someone else in, to let them carry burden with you until you feel better, da?"

Miss Pauling had looked up at her in surprise the minute the other woman's gentle kiss had registered. Eyes wide, a little shocked; and a faint flush on her face that was unlikely to be based in her grief over the loss of the Administrator and, to an extent, her identity.

"R-really?" she asked, then scrunched up her face, wrinkling her nose cutely, as if horrified to have asked something so childish. "I mean, Zhanna I-... I just feel so... I don't know... lost or empty or... like nothing is real?"

"Do you feel me holding you, little Fioletovyy? My arms are real, the warmth between us is real... and my concern that you have lost your smile, is real. The affection I feel, is real, even though I know it does not cancel out the loss you are experiencing..." Zhanna soothes, rubbing the other upon the back as the last of her stuttered sobs peter out.

Miss Pauling's expression is hard to describe; the trail of tears upon her face shimmered in the dim light, and yet, underneath that, something had changed. The grief was there... but something approaching a shy, tentative hope, a longing was beneath that, plain in her eyes.

"You... really mean that, don't you?" she sniffs, the beginnings of a smile gracing her wan features. "I thought you... d-didn't like me because you assumed I liked Soldier..."

"Indeed, I did not. But, I have been wrong before... I misunderstood, until someone pointed it out; though it pained them to do so." Zhanna admits. "No matter, the past is completed and we cannot return there... the here and now is most important. I am hopeful that both my present and future will have you in them, Miss Pauling... though I will understand if you feel otherwise about this as I have been curt."

"But... what about Soldier, aren't you t-two...?" queries Miss Pauling, expression closing off as reality begins to seep back in.

"Da, I love soldier and will not leave him... but it does not mean I cannot love you too, little Pauling. Jane does not mind, and will not ask anything of you..." Zhanna reassures, knowing Soldier well enough to promise this. "I have enough love for two people, and you are welcome to be part of such if you wish it... my actions in the past were due to confusion over my feelings, my... fear of losing Soldier to you. As you are pretty and merciless, which are traits he finds endearing... as do I."

She laughs, "I see now I have been foolish... but no matter. Let me be your strength for now, and you can make a decision when you are settled... when your thoughts are not clouded by grief."

"No." Miss Pauling interjects, and Zhanna felt her heart drop. It must have shown on her face because Miss Pauling immediately follows it with, "I-I mean, no... I don't need time... I've wanted-... that is to say, I've liked-... yes, please. Just don't... let go of me yet, please..."

She pauses, and laughs before saying, "I know it sounds so corny b-but the world doesn't feel so big, so empty, when you're holding me... and I-... thank you. For coming after me, and knowing what to... say or do or whatever this it... I needed it."

Zhanna smiles, "I will always be there, when you need it... little Fioletovyy..." Zhanna reassures.

"What does that mean?" Miss Pauling queries, suddenly aware of how close they were, how easy it would be to just move closer a fraction and... press their lips against the other's.

"Hmmm, it is Russian for... I believe the word is Violet in English? It is what I think of when I see you... and so, I could not help it. If it bothers you, I can choose another-..." Zhanna pauses because Miss Pauling is laughing.

"Oh, oh no, I like it.... it's just, you-..." she pauses to giggle, "you wouldn't believe this but my... my name is actually... Violet Pauling."

Zhanna beams, "Then it must be fate, then..."

"Y...Yes, I suppose it must be." Miss Pauling smiles back. She looks tired, exhausted by the trials and tribulations of the day, the last week, the entire years since Team Fortress disbanded... but somehow, radiant as well.

Without another word, Miss Pauling closes the gap between them, and it is even more delightful a moment than Zhanna could have ever anticipated. Different to Jane, and yet, just as right.

Perfect.

Miss Pauling moves away first, resting her head on the broad Russian shoulders before her. She didn't seem in a hurry to do anything, much less leave the careful embrace Zhanna held her in.

"Thank you." whispers Miss Pauling, but then lifts her head to look at Zhanna more clearly. A thought worrying at her. "And... you're sure Soldier is fine with... us? I don't like... I mean, he's lovely but I'm not attracted to-..."

"Miss Pauling, you are not required to find my person physically attractive nor do anything involving it, should you choose not to." Soldier says, as he moves inside the room. Clearly having been worried about the extended absence of the pair, and followed them; waiting outside the door until it was appropriate to interject. "You are a superior officer, and I will follow your directions to the letter. As long as you are fine with sharing this glorious creature with me, have had all your shots, and don't mind sharing household duties amongst us... or the occasional visit from Merasmus, then we will be a highly successful tactical unit!"

Miss Pauling was staring at him, questioning how he'd appeared so suddenly, as if saying his name three times had summoned him.

Then her formidable mind caught up with the flurry of words she'd just weathered. "As long as you're okay with it too, Soldier, I'm fine with i-... wait, why do I need all my vaccinations?"

"Raccoons." Zhanna deadpans into her ear, the warm breath making her shiver. Soldier flushed under his helmet as Miss Pauling shuddered, and he averted his gaze.

"Ah, if you two have completed your emotional mission debrief, the others wish me to inform you that we are planning to go back to basecamp at teufort, to formulate our next move forward." Soldier adds, standing there stock still until Zhanna gestures with an arm for him to come closer.

With an arm supporting Miss Pauling's entire weight, she wraps the other around Soldier; Jane clearly hesitates, until he sees Miss Pauling isn't trying to get away, before reciprocating and accidentally partially-squishing her in the middle. Zhanna kisses him, then Miss Pauling once more, and laughs.

"Today has been a good day of many victories," she says, smiling down at Miss Pauling, as Soldier releases the pair. The purple-clad woman slips down from her previous position, and stands, wobbling slightly, on the floor between the pair.

Each place an arm on her back to steady her, not wanting to remove her autonomy, but rather support it. A lot of their trials had hit the woman pretty hard, and even the love Zhanna felt for her, and the admiration Soldier had always shown towards Miss Pauling would not heal it automatically.

They followed Miss Pauling as she walked out of the room, maintaining contact even a she paused to look back; to let her eyes wander over the familiar, metallic room, for the last time. She took a deep breath, placed a hand on each of the supporting arms, and continued forwards. Ready for the unknown, to find out what the future held.

- - - -

The End

- - - -

Bonus:

Zhanna felt, as the days grew long at the new base and all 'planning' tended to end up in circuitous arguments over who had to do what chore that week, that she was quite content.

Miss Pauling was excellent in many ways, and Soldier was also magnificent in his own way. They coexisted well, for her.

Yet she felt... a burden, a debt unpaid, so to speak. She could feel it on the one who had helped them become this unit, who still sometimes looked upon her little Fioletovyy with distant longing. Though, Zhanna felt it was more for what the woman had, than the lingering remnants of a past crush.

She decided, as was fair, to even things out.

One night, without warning, she seized the tiny loud one; he squirmed but she held fast, hushing him. Zhanna carried him outside, wrenched open the door of the van, and tossed the Scout in...

"What the bloody hell?" yelled the occupant.

"Zhanna, what-...? Snipes, I-..." Scout shouted back.

Zhanna briefly placed herself in the doorway, looking at the pile of limbs on the floor and simply stated, "Little loud one has strong feelings for you, and would very much like to do the sex with you... please discuss this and be happy."

She looked directly at Scout, "My debt to you has been repaid. I wish you joy."

And so saying, she slammed the door shut, pushing a nearby boulder over the entrance, as chaos erupted inside. Let them take the time to work it out...

When she smugly removed the boulder in the morning, both appeared rather dishevelled and wouldn't meet her eyes. Her debt had been repaid, indeed.

#tf2 #miss pauling #zhanna #soldier #scout #Sniper #zhanna/pauling #zhanna/soldier #zhanna/pauling/soldier #scout/sniper #no one can stop me on this trashbus to hell #administrator

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aftermyshahada-blog · 7 years

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My Online Dating Experience

Ah! This is the much anticipated post about my experience dating online as a Muslim woman! This is the post that everyone has been waiting for since I mentioned it yesterday (click here-please read yesterday’s post first!), so here I go. Am I having success? Or has it been an awful, overwhelming experience? Well, keep reading to find out!

BACKGROUND

I was born and raised in Wisconsin (USA) and I will be 27 in a few months (August 2017). On June 3, 2017 I will be moving to California (USA) because I accepted a teaching position at a private school that will begin June 12th. In less than 25 days, I will be embarking on an exciting, new adventure. The only think that is currently missing from my life is love and romance.

I'm an energetic, spunky, fearless, educated Muslim, which sometimes is a surprise to people because I am also I'm a romantic at heart. I'm an idealist and a strong believer in the power of love and I hope and pray one day that I will find true love and a life-long companion. I love the idea of love and I enjoy every novel ever written by Nicholas Sparks. The whole idea of loving and being loved by someone is intoxicating! The concept of soul mates is beautiful: two people who are fated to be together and will always find a way to one another no matter what the circumstances are. I radiate positive energy and I love cheesy holidays like Valentine's Day. No matter how many bad experiences I have had and no matter how many times my heart has been broken, I desperately believe that love exists and I will find it one day.

Yes, I have a lot on my plate right now: completely relocating to a different state, establishing my life in a new place, starting a new job, and on top of all that, Ramadan is fast-approaching (my first Ramadan as an actual Muslim). With that being said, I still want to find true love, which is why I signed up for online dating. With everything that I have on my plate currently, I figured that I am not likely to meet someone or fall in love any time soon, so I might as well just dip my toes in the water and use online dating as something to pass the time with the hopes of meeting someone eventually.

DATING IS HALAL

Many Muslims tell me that dating is forbidden in Islam, which irritates me. I am a firm believer than dating can be halal (click here to read why I think Muslims should date.) Many Muslims also tell me that Allah guides us and only He will reveal a match to us when we are ready. That statement also irritates me. Yes, I agree that Allah has a plan for our lives, but I also believe that we must also play a very pro-active role in our own lives in order to achieve our goals, dreams, and desires. Online dating is my way of being pro-active even though I have a lot of new changes and responsibilities on my plate right now. I have very high expectations and standards. I have had enough relationships and interactions with people to realize that I don't want to settle for anything mediocre. Like I said previously: I am a romantic at heart and I want to find true love and a life-long companion.

WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR

I admire integrity, honesty, and respect. I believe that trust is the foundation of any good relationship. I like people who are intelligent, sincere, and genuine. I need someone who is responsible and reliable while also being fun, exciting, and adventurous. I want to be with someone that I can make memories with. I value hard work, passion, and determination. I am warm, affectionate, understanding, and thoughtful, and I want to be with someone who is the same way. I want a partner who can make me smile and laugh. I want someone who will see me as an equal; I need someone I can build a life with. I am a modern, progressive/liberal Muslim and I need a partner who shares my values.

Is there anyone in this universe that might possibly match that description? Would there be someone out there as modern, progressive, and liberal as myself? When I signed up for Muslima.com, I was doubtful.

ONLINE DATING IS LIKE BUYING A NEW CAR

Online dating is definitely interesting. It's a little bit like shopping for a car. You have an idea of the basic make and model that you desire. And you probably have a list of specifications and options that you would like to have, but you also understand that finding the perfect car for you will be a challenge. So, you are going into the process with the idea that you will probably have to settle on the best car that you can get. You accept this reality and you begin your search. You look at a million pictures, read lots of details, make comparison, and hopefully you will find something that sparks your interest.

Online dating is trying to find a partner after sifting through a sea of selfies and self-advertisements before landing on one that you think might satisfy you most. You "favorite" each other in the same way that you add items to your Amazon Wish List of Pin recipes you want to try later, then you schedule an in-person interview during which you'll have all manners of “nonversation” while in your head furiously trying to calculate whether or not this person should advance to the second round.

The process of online dating I described sounds like the opposite of romantic, doesn't it?

OVERWHELMING

Within minutes of posting my profile, I had over 300 messages from men interested in chatting with me and getting to know me; I wondered how many of them actually read my profile instead of just looking at my picture and deciding I was attractive. I eliminated all messages from men not living in the United States. This left me with about 100 messages. I sifted through those messages and narrowed them down to people living in California, the state in which I would be moving to in less than a month. This left me with about 30 messages. I narrowed it down further to men that lived within a 50-100 mile radius of Walnut Creek, the town I am moving to. This left me with about 15 messages. I read through the profiles and deleted almost all the messages except 5.

After one or two messages exchanges between me and these five individuals, I was shocked. I was asked how wide my hips were, if I had any disabilities, if I would be willing to meet their family soon, and I nearly unplugged my computer. These men clearly did not share my interests or values. And they clearly did not view the concept of dating in the same way that I did. I deleted all those messages, but a few hours later, my message box was flooded with about 800 more messages. It was overwhelming.

MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN?

But there was one profile that caught my eye: an attractive, Egyptian-American, laid-back, well-educated, liberal Muslim man only a few years older than me. For sake of anonymity, I will call him J. So, J messaged me asking to get to know me more. When he asked for my phone number, I froze. Danger alarms rang in my head. But then, he clarified and said that texting would be easier than emailing messages back and forth on Muslima.com. I agreed with him, so we began communicating via WhatsApp.

THE BASICS

Almost immediately on WhatsApp, we got the big things out of the way: we established that we both love dogs, which is important to me. And then more seriously, we established that we are both looking for friendship and dating with the potential opportunity for a relationship, and maybe, just maybe, marriage in the future. J very clearly stated that he isn’t interested in rushing into things. This comforted me.

We talked about what we were looking for and what is important to us. He said he is looking for a kind, smart, funny, simple, family-oriented girl who would will become his best friend. He wants someone who is romantic, educated, and ambitious. He said that he needs a woman who is enlightened and open-minded; someone who is religiously disciplined but also progressive/liberal. J needs a Muslim woman who carries herself equally between the Islamic world and the American/Western world.

That describes me almost perfectly. With much excitement, we continued getting to know each other.

We messaged back and forth about our daily lives, careers, and education. And we discussed family, politics, and our childhoods. We discussed hobbies and life goals. We also talked about our views regarding children, careers, sex, and marriage. Almost immediately, I was able to decide that I was interested in getting to know him and talking further. I saw him and I as being very compatible; he felt the same way.

However...

MY BIGGEST CONCERN

From the very beginning, before we even started talking via WhatsApp, I saw that his profile said he lived in California, but not in the same city that I would be living in. That didn't really bother me and I didn't feel like that was a concern. Later, after talking more and feeling a connection with the interest of pursuing one another, I started thinking logically about how big the state of California actually was. This prompted me to look up what the actual distance between us would be: 403.5 miles.

Immediately, my heart sank.

I haven't even moved to California yet and there is about 2,000 miles of distance (a 31-hour drive) between us. And when I finally do move in less than a month, there will still be about 400 miles between us?

How is this even going to work?!

THE END OF THINGS?

I messaged J and I brought up my concerns about him potentially living 403.5 miles from Walnut Creek, which is (according to Google Maps) about 6 or 7 hours away driving, 10 hours away via Transit, or a 1.5-hour flight.

To be honest, if I were on another dating site, and I was living in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, and someone from Indianapolis, Indiana sent me a message about wanting to get to know me, I would probably check out their location, see that they live about 6 hours away, and delete their message because I don't see potential in building something with someone who lives that far away. 6 hours is quite the distance.

This is why I am concerned about J living so far away, especially because when I first move to California, I am not going to have my own vehicle at least for the first 5 months, perhaps longer. My condo is within walking distance of where I will work, and I plan to bike or take public transportation everywhere.

I was sure that this might be the end of things.

I was surprised when he wasn't concerned at all. He told me that the distance was still 100% driveable and regardless whether we spent time in my city or his city, it would be memorable and we would probably have many really amazing weekends.

His response pleased me greatly, but hasn't eliminated that concern from my mind completely.

MOVING FORWARD: Me and J

So, after about a week spent messaging on WhatsApp, I decided decided that it was safe to give him my cellphone number and add him on Facebook.

I also checked the Muslima.com website. After not checking it for a week, I had over 1,500 messages from various men. None of them were as appealing as J. Staring at all those messages was also extremely overwhelming, so I decided to officially delete my profile on Muslima.com.

Don't freak out, let me explain.

I'm not rushing into things and I didn't delete my dating profile because I am 100% convinced that I have found my soulmate. I only deleted it because J is the only person I am interested in right now and beyond that, the website wasn't meeting my expectations. So, now I can just focus on myself, relocating to California in 24 days, beginning a new job in less than 35 days, and I can focus on getting to know J more.

WHERE WE ARE AT NOW

It's crazy to think that he and I began talking almost a month ago and things seem to be going extremely well. I think that the distance between us (me being in Wisconsin at the moment and him being in California) is helping to create a solid foundation on which to possibly build a friendship or potential dating relationship. We text back and forth just about every day and we talk on the phone about once a week now. I am hoping to Skype with him at least once before we meet in person, but if that doesn't happen I suppose I won't be too devastated. We are planning to meet in person a week or so after I move to California and I can't wait!

INCREDIBLE GUY

J is incredibly intelligent, responsible, patient, understanding, and handsome. He's truthful and straight-forward with me and I'm attracted to his love for adventure. I like that he is open-minded. I am also attracted to the classy simplicity of who he is and his lifestyle. He works hard, but he also plays hard and is interested in bettering himself. He has wonderful goals and dreams for the future and he is very affectionate. He is always making me laugh and the sweet texts he sends to me make me to smile.

It seems that he is just as enthralled with me as I am with him, which is a good thing.

Because I am such a romantic at heart, I desperately want things to be as amazing in-person as they are right now through texts, emails, and talking on the phone. He seems like an amazing guy.

However, I can't help but worry.

UP NEXT: MY FEARS & INSECURITIES

Be on the look out for my next post tomorrow or later this week, which will talk more about my dating/love life concerns, my worries, my insecurities, and my fears. I will also talk about my flaws and some of the little things that might make me appear to be just a tad bit neurotic! Haha

LINKS TO SOME OF MY OTHER ARTICLES

Curious about what I look like? Click here.

Interested in the story of how I became Muslim? Read about it here.

If you want to learn more about my views on Islamic dating, click here.

I am a scientist and a Muslim. How is that possible? Click here and find out!

I don't wear hijab every day, click here to read about my preference.

Click here to read about me relocating to California. And click here to donate to my GoFundMe to help me with the costs of relocating for my job.

Read about my struggles with weightloss here.

What was my family's reaction when I told them I converted to Islam? Find out here.

Click here to read a funny story about how I injured myself while praying.

Click here to read about how much I love my doggy.

Click here to read my thoughts on Liberal Islam.

Want to understand what Sharia Law REALLY is? Here is the article I wrote.

Click here to read about my struggles with learning Arabic.

I think women should pray while on their period. Click here to read why.

My thoughts about science and religion can be found here. My ex-boyfriend and I used to argue about this topic a lot.

Click here to read my first article about the Muslim Ban and click here to read my second article about the Muslim Ban.

Click here for a list and links to the first 50 articles that I wrote on Tumblr.

Wanna know my views about LGBTQIA+ people? Click here.

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hub-pub-bub · 5 years

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‘Protecting European Creativity’

Today (February 20), as confirmed to us from the Council of the European Union’s session by attorney Dr. Jessica Sänger, a vote has gone in favor of the copyright directive that has emerged from trilogue.

As was announced from Strasbourg a week ago (February 13), the “trilogue” process in the European legislative deliberations produced what media messaging from the European Commission called “a breakthrough to modernize copyright rules”—the latest stage in the European Union copyright directive effort.

Although still requiring confirmation by the European Parliament on February 26, this result of the long-running negotiations—part of the Digital Single Market framework—was hailed by vice-president Andrus Ansip as “modern copyright rules for the whole of [the] EU” and by Mariya Gabriel, commissioner for digital economy and society, as legislation to “strengthen the cultural and creative sectors, and bring added value to the European citizens.”

As the EC is laying out the plan, its features include—quoting here from the commission’s statement—the following highlights.

“Tangible benefits to all creative sectors, specifically creators and actors in the audio-visual and musical sectors, by reinforcing their position vis-à-vis platforms to have more control over the use of their content uploaded by users on these platforms and be remunerated for it.

“The principle of an appropriate and proportionate remuneration for authors and performers will be laid down for the first time in European copyright law.

“Authors and performers will enjoy access to transparent information on how their works and performances are exploited by their counterparts (publishers and producers). This will make it easier for them to negotiate future contracts and to receive a fairer share of the generated revenues.

“If publishers or producers fail to exploit the rights that authors and performers have transferred to them, authors and performers will be allowed to revoke their rights.

“European press publishers will enjoy a new right, which aims to facilitate the way they negotiate how their content is re-used on online platforms. It will give journalists the right to receive a greater share of the revenues generated by the online uses of press publications. This right will not affect citizens and individual users, who will continue to enjoy and share news hyperlinks as they do today.”

You can read more from the Commission’s offices in the form of a Q&A here and a fact sheet here.

Special care is being taken by the commission to call attention to the agreement as one that “reinforces the position of European authors and performers in the digital environment” while also “reinforcing the interests of citizens and Internet users.”

As we have done in the past, we’ve turned once more to Dr. Sänger, legal counsel and director of European and international affairs for the Börsenverein des Deutschen Buchhandels, Germany’s Publishers and Booksellers Association.

Sänger has been closely engaged in the developments leading to this new stage of the process and has been helpful in illuminating for Publishing Perspectives’ readership how the process and its implications have been developing.

We begin here by asking Sänger to parse for us what are the most important accomplishments at this stage, as she and her German and European colleagues see it. Her references, by the way, to “CJEU,” for those outside the Union, are to the Court of Justice of the European Union.

‘On the Whole, an Acceptable Compromise’

Jessica Sänger: The draft directive is very ambitious in the sense that it covers quite a broad range of different important policy areas.

We have been particularly concerned with the proposed exceptions to copyright for illustration for teaching, preservation, and TDM [text and data mining], but also with the proposals regarding what libraries or archives can do with works in their collections which are out of commerce. All these areas have been the subject of intense negotiations, and the results achieved are in no way ideal, but we view them on the whole as an acceptable compromise.

The most important element of the directive from the point of view of (not only) German publishers is Article 12, which aims to permit member states to decide that publishers may once again receive compensation alongside authors when works are used under exceptions or lent out by libraries. The hope is that this piece of legislation would repair the damage done by the HP/Reprobel decision of CJEU, which had such far-reaching consequences in Germany.

Perhaps the main accomplishment of the negotiators for the council and the European Parliament is that they have found a compromise at all, given how contentious certain issues are, especially the “value gap” provision and the press publishers’ right. This took tremendous dedication on the part of the rapporteur MEP Axel Voss as well as the consecutive Council Presidencies of Austria and Romania.

Publishing Perspectives: Are there points that your team had hoped to have in the new formulation that are not included, after all?

Jessica Sänger: Since all the provisions I mentioned are compromises, of course we are not 100-percent happy.

We would have appreciated more safeguards around the exceptions and still believe that a solution for works which are out of commerce could have been found without resorting to an exception, as the example of the German legislation on the subject shows.

Concerns remain around which impact the new TDM provisions will have in practice.

In some areas, including Article 12, convoluted wording of recitals does more to confuse the reader than to clarify the aim of the provision in question. But this is due to the changes made to accommodate as many interests as possible.

Perhaps the best compromises are those that leave every side somewhat unhappy.

Publishing Perspectives: Some are saying that this is very close to the last time we visited the process, in the late summer. Is that the case? Or are there important and substantive steps in place here since the last actions?

Jessica Sänger: On September 12th, the European Parliament voted upon its position, based on the work of the five committees which had discussed the commission’s draft and each voted on its own suggested amendments. The council had already adopted its approach in May.

September’s vote meant that the phase we call “trilogue” was able to begin, where the co-legislators council and parliament negotiate for a common text with the support of the commission which supplied the initial draft.

We are now at the stage where the trilogue negotiations have been successfully concluded, after many sessions and moments of suspense as to whether the process would fail at the 11th hour. If the directive is to be adopted before the end of this parliament’s legislature, things will have to move very quickly now.

Publishing Perspectives: As we know, the approval here from trilogue will need approval by the council and by parliament ultimately. Is it your understanding that those approvals are likely?

Jessica Sänger: [UPDATE AT 8:56 a.m. ET, 1:56 p.m GMT:] I am delighted that today, the council (COREPER I) voted in favor of the directive.

This was the final council vote on the subject. Some member states were adamantly opposed, like Italy, which changed its position after the Salvini government took office. It’s important that the majority achieved for the final negotiating mandate on February 8th now also support the final result.

Germany and France had hammered out a compromise ahead of that vote, and even though not everyone in the German government is happy with the result, withdrawing support now would have been a serious affront.

All now depends on the European Parliament, and a lot of question marks remain. There will be a decision in the legal affairs committee next Tuesday (February 26), and then the final adoption would take place in plenary, in March.

Given the strong majority the directive received in September, and given that many of the concerns of the opponents were addressed during trilogue, the chances for an even stronger endorsement ought to be good.

Under normal circumstances, I would be highly confident that the MEPs who voted in favor in September wouldn’t suddenly change their minds. But we are currently faced with a massive wave of campaigning around the “value gap” provision widely known as Article 13, and MEPs are already shifting into campaign mode for the upcoming elections, so they are sensitive to public opinion.

Therefore, I still see a danger that the directive is not adopted before the end of the Parliament’s legislature in April.

Publishing Perspectives: Who—or which entities in business or government—will not like this agreement, and can we know the countervailing points they had made?

Jessica Sänger: Many different points were made by different stakeholders on each of the numerous subject areas of the directive.

Let me focus on the one that is getting the greatest attention, Article 13. The strongest resistance is coming from Big Tech companies. They don’t like the idea that they might need to enter into licensing contracts with rights holders and pay for the uses taking place on platforms such as YouTube. They don’t want to share the advertising revenues they generate with those who invest in the content which makes their platforms so attractive.

MEPs visiting Silicon Valley were told bluntly that US companies would seek to prevent the adoption of Article 13 in Europe. Think of the massive campaign launched by YouTube to frighten its users or other astro-turf activities. It’s shocking to see how much dis-information was spread in order to make teenagers believe that Article 13 would spell the “end of the Internet as we know it” and enable massive censorship. But it’s also clear that extremists and populists from various parts of the political spectrum are strongly opposed to the directive. The example of the Italian government is only one case in point.

Publishing Perspectives: And what else should be said at this point about this long and important process? What is most critical for the wider publishing world beyond Europe to understand about the steps taken through this legislative process you’ve worked so hard on?

Jessica Sänger: Copyright is under attack from many quarters these days. If this directive can establish that protecting European creativity is important enough for European legislators to take on Big Tech and resist the tremendous pressure that they are being subjected to, they are doing this based on their conviction that creative individuals and their commercial partners deserve protection and that their contribution is essential to cultural diversity.

The directive is not perfect, but it is a very important step in the right direction. We cannot achieve this without working closely alongside authors, translators, illustrators, and other creators, so our relationship with them remains the basis for what we do, both within the industry, and in our advocacy work.

More on the EU’s Digital Single Market legislative efforts is here, and on copyright in general is here.

#germany #eu #copyright

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