#I will do better in the future but the problem is I am lazy and desire instant gratification
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Yakuza x Cinderella AU Part 1 (Sukuna x Reader)
A/N: I listened to Sukuna’s Russian voice dub while writing this. Gave me some cool gangster vibes.
Everyone would have understood if you shed the “Itadori” name after old man Wasuke passed away, and no one would have blamed you if you walked away from being Yuuji Itadori’s legal guardian. After all, you just started college, you didn’t need to be “burdened,” especially by a kid you weren’t even related to.
But there was no way you could leave eleven-year-old Yuuji alone. You grew up changing his diapers, taught him how to ride a bike, cleaned up his boo-boos, and threatened his bullies.
He was your family.
Prioritizing your baby brother and his future above your own, you decided to bartender at a fancy but sleazy bar. Although the majority of patrons were assholes and the place was too far from your house and the university, the pay was better than most other part-time jobs so you sucked it up.
Between your job, mandatory onsite classes, group assignments with lazy jerks, and taking care of Yuuji and the house, you could never afford to sleep for more than three hours a day.
But Yuuji was, of course, an angel.
He didn’t like to show it, but you knew he missed gramps, and you often caught him biting his lip to suppress his whimpers and wiping his eyes with his back turned to you. He did his best to appear strong, but you wished he’d rely on you more. But the little tiger never stopped doing his chores and liked offering to do yours.
“I can’t get a part-time job yet so all I can do is take care of the house and everything else!” When he said that, you swore an arrow pierced your heart and you almost died from fluffiness.
Seeing Yuji’s bright smile was the only thing that kept you going, especially after a long day at the bar.
That’s where you met Ryomen Sukuna. He was the single most irritating bastard you’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. It wasn’t like he was a sleazebag per se–he was actually more of a silent, brooding type compared to the handsy, foul-mouthed drunkards you usually dealt with. At least, that was your first expression of him.
It was nine pm and your five minute break was almost over so you sent Yuji a good night text and a reminder to lock the doors and windows. You brushed your hair and went to your post behind the bar.
This place was in the inner city, far from most schools, so it was rare to find college students here, but it was a Friday and the end of finals week so the place was jam-packed with depressed people. You didn’t mind. Actually, you preferred having a bar full of university kids over a bar full of working adults. You liked college students. They were… nicer, more polite and patient compared to their older counterparts, who were usually middle-aged career men and women whose dreams have been shattered by the real world. Your regulars were broken and pathetic, and they often liked making their problem yours. You’d “listen” to their ramblings, nod and pretend to care, when in reality their words just went in one ear and left straight out the other.
You didn’t like talking or socializing. You left that part up to the waitstaff and prepared the drinks as quietly as possible in order to avoid trouble.
It was nearing one am, almost time for you to go home. You finished wiping the last piece of glassware when the store bell rang. You didn’t bother to even pretend to be polite this time and continued cleaning up, waiting for one of the waiters to tell the guest that the bar was already closed. But that didn’t happen.
“The VIP room is a little unclean right now, so if you’re willing to wait–”
“What do you mean unclean? You should always keep it ready,” a cold, androgynous voice reprimanded.
You were annoyed. And a bit confused. You’ve been here for several weeks now and you just found out about this so-called VIP room. And up until now, the personnel here always shooed away all customers during closing.
“It’s fine, Uraume,” a deep, husky voice interrupted. “I’m fine waiting here. Just get me my drink.”
You raised your eyes and saw a tall man in a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, bringing attention to his… big veiny hands and sinewy arms, lined with black tattoos.
“O-of course!” Your boss clasped her hands together. “Please excuse me, I’ll get the sake ready in a bit.”
As if sensing your gaze, your tall, red-haired stranger turned his head, revealing a face also full of tattoos. You blushed but composed yourself and bowed in greeting. You refused to make eye contact again though, too embarrassed that you were caught ogling. He was more gorgeous than most idols and sports players that showed up on TV.
“On second thought, I think I’ll sit at the bar.”
Ah, crap.
“Oh, um…!” Your boss fumbled towards you, putting a hand over your shoulder. “Th-this is Y/N. She’s new. Really new, I don’t think you’ve met yet.” It felt odd watching your usually calm and charming boss act like this. She was the one who dealt with perverts and other difficult clients, all without getting too emotional or stuttering, but she seemed almost afraid of this man. “Y/N, this is Mr. Ryomen Sukuna, he owns this bar.”
That name certainly felt familiar, but you sucked at names, and as for his face… you glanced up at his smirking face. Yeah, there was no way you’d forget a guy like him. Even if you just saw him walking down the street for a split second you would remember him for sure.
Your boss squeezed you and you quickly bowed your head again. “Um, hello, thank you for the opportunity.”
“You seemed irritated when my companion and I walked in.”
“No, you must be mistaken.”
“Really? You couldn’t even be bothered to greet us. Bartenders are supposed to be friendly.”
You just tilted your head, contemplating on what to say next when your phone started ringing from the counter. Mr. Sukuna swiped it before you could blink.
“Hey!” Your sudden burst of energy shocked you and your boss. You slapped a hand over your mouth. “Er. I mean… I apologize.”
“Shouldn’t phones be on vibrate during work hours?”
“It was on vibrate. We’re supposed to be closed now.” Welp. You were already as good as fired so you didn’t try to cover up your weariness. Yuji sometimes woke up randomly in the middle of the night. He was probably wondering where you were. You held out your hand. “Can I please have it back now? Sir?”
Like you just told the world’s funniest joke, he threw his head back, laughing heartily.
Despite your boss almost fainting on the spot thanks to your little stunt, you didn’t get fired. Sukuna seemed absolutely smitten with you–that is, as much as an owner can be smitten by a pet hamster.
It was the beginning of an irritating, one-sided relationship.
Ever since that day, Sukuna began frequenting the bar more often. Sometimes three times a week, other times almost daily. Rather than stay at the VIP room, he’d hang out by the bar and find many ways to piss you off, like hitting on you, annoying you until you talked about either Yuji or your classes, and asking you to make some complicated cocktail he heard from a business partner, only to then insult it (he’d always finish the thing though). At the very least, he didn’t try touching you inappropriately. And plus, his childish fascination with you meant he demanded you hang out with him immediately after you finished preparing someone else’s drink, so you didn’t have to listen to other people whine about their lives and you didn’t have to make up excuses with the more gropey customers.
To be continued…
#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x reader#sukuna#sukuna ryoumen#y/n#sukuna ryomen#reader#yakuza#gangster#mafia#yakuza au#cinderella au#minor age gap i guess?#rich guy poor girl/guy#yuji is baby
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In Love With The Boy
Richard couldn't care less that his son was gay. Quite the opposite, actually. He’d had his fair share of dalliances in his day, and he was glad Steve got to be open about that part of himself.
No, Richard Harrington had a problem with who his son chose to date.
“I don’t like this,” he said as he leaned against the doorway.
Helen touched up her lipstick in the bathroom mirror. “Like what?”
“This whole situation with the Munson boy.”
She fixed him with a glare. “Now, you swore to me that you’d love our son no matter what.” Even after all this time, she couldn’t drop her drawl when she was ticked off.
“No no, it’s not that. I just don’t think Eddie’s a good idea for Steve.”
“Oh. Well, can’t help love, I suppose.”
“I’ve heard some rumors about him from Darlene.”
“Baby, Darlene’s older than Moses. You ain’t gotta listen to her.”
“I do if I don’t want my coffee poisoned. That woman’s mean.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure Eddie’s perfectly fine. Steve’s happier than he has been since he and Nancy broke up, and we are not going to ruin that for him.”
He put his hands up. “Alright, but I’m allowed to not like him. Father’s intuition.”
“What was it my daddy said the day we got married?”
“When he told my great-aunt I was dumber than a box of rocks or when he called me a no-good papist bastard in front of the priest?”
“Exactly. And it’s been twenty-three years since then. But,” she sighed, “if it makes you feel better, we can come home a bit early tonight, and I’ll talk to him before he leaves.”
He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Thank you. If we hurry, we can get seats by Alan and Brenda.”
Helen flashed that beautiful smile that’d caught his heart so long ago. “No, sir. You and Alan are trouble together.”
------
It was a lazy date, but one Steve wouldn’t give up for the world. He and Eddie were curled up on the couch, a movie playing in the background that he didn’t give a damn about. Instead, he was distracted by the feeling of the man in his arms.
These moments were so different from how Eddie portrayed himself. Out in the world, he was larger than life, eccentric, untouchable. But here, under the blankets, he shared his softest smiles, undid him with the lightest touches. He told Steve stories he’s never told before, shared the little details of his experiences and questioned the meaning of the universe. He drew the same from Steve, until there was nothing in his life that he would hide from these intimate moments.
He traced the scars along Eddie’s sides. If Robin was his other half, Eddie was his compliment, fitting around his curves and edges just so. They moved with each other in intricate patterns, calming and encouraging in turn, bringing out the best and tempering the worst. He adored Eddie and felt adored.
No one had ever made him feel that way before.
“Stevie?” Eddie asked.
He hummed, pressing a kiss behind his ear.
“Where do you see us in the future?”
“Wherever. As long as you’re there, I’m happy.”
“Really? Anywhere?”
“I’d follow you to the moon if you asked.”
Eddie smiled. “I followed you into hell, so it’s only fitting.”
Steve laughed. “Of course.” He took a beat to consider it and continued, “I mean, we can get a little house somewhere and have a couple pets, babysit for the neighbors, grow a little garden. I’d like that.”
“I would too.” He flipped over so their chests pressed together, faces mere inches from each other. Eddie had a mischievous grin on his lips. “I get to pick at least one fight with someone on our street.”
“What for?”
“Blood feuds are the staple of suburbia, sweetheart. How am I to be properly domesticated if I can’t have that basic right?”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Fine, but if it comes to blows, I’m not bailing you out.”
“What if they really deserve it? Not even then?” He pouted, giving him those puppy dog eyes he couldn’t resist.
“You’re a menace.”
Eddie pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Yes, but I’m your menace.”
Steve pulled him close, basking in Eddie’s smile as he kissed him soft and slow. A few years ago, he wouldn’t have imagined that he’d be here with the whole world in his hands, content to let the hours pass by as they clung to one another.
He was safe. He was home.
Eddie drew back, fondness in his eyes as he posed the next question. “Will you spend the rest of your life with me?”
His heart soared. “You mean…”
“Marry me, as soon as we can. Even if we have to run away.” Eddie slipped off the silver skull ring he always toyed with and held it out. “I’ll save up for wedding bands, I swear.”
He almost couldn’t get the words out, the way his heart pounded. “God, yes,” he whispered. The warm metal was snug on his finger, and then, then he was being kissed like the Earth was on the verge of collapse.
They held each other tight, joy and need spinning into something desperate that kept their lips moving against each other, hands tangled in clothes as they let gravity overtake them. Steve felt it snare around his heart, hook them together in a way he’d never protest.
He never had to let Eddie go again.
The crunch of tires in the driveway cut through his bliss. “Shit!” Eddie squeaked. “You didn’t say they’d be home early!”
“Maybe it’s just someone turning around.” The car came to a stop and cut off. “Son of a bitch.”
They sprang apart, rushing to make themselves presentable. His mother’s heels clicked up the steps.
Eddie’s eyes were as wide as saucers. He grabbed his wrist. “Hey. I love you, okay?”
One short nod. “I love you.”
The key rattled in the lock. He took a breath, composing his face into casual coolness before the door opened.
“Boys!” his mom called, wrapping him in a hug.
“Hey,” he replied, “how was tonight?”
“Oh, it was fine. I’m just a bit tired today, so we figured we oughtta come on home.” She frowned. “We did miss dessert, though. I think I’ll have a slice of pie before bed. Come have some, Eddie.”
She had him by the arm before he could protest. He threw a panicked glance over his shoulder, but Richard’s grip on Steve’s arm stopped any interference. “Steve told me you’ve got family in Tennessee. What part?”
“Just outside Savannah, ma’am.”
“You don’t want to get involved in that.” Richard let him go. “Let’s talk in my office.”
Steve felt like he was going to puke. He followed his dad down the hall, carefully sitting in the armchair across the desk.
Richard fell into the desk chair with a sigh. “You and him are seeing each other, correct?”
Cold sweat dripped down his spine. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Yes.”
His dad pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why couldn’t it have been a good one like Tommy?”
Steve wasn’t normally this slow on the uptake, but it took a few moments for the dots to connect in his mind. “What?”
“You understand that you being with a man is going to make things harder for you, right?” He nodded. “And him having murder accusations worsens it.”
“Obviously false accusations.”
His dad smiled wryly. “Not the way a lot of people in town see it. And your mom went over those NDAs with a fine tooth comb. They’re watertight.”
“Hold on, are you mad that I’m in love with a guy, or are you mad that the guy is Eddie?”
“The latter, and I’m not mad, just disappointed.” He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the desk. “I’m not losing my only son because of who you fell in love with.”
The confusion must have been apparent, because he continued. “Your mother and I love you, and nothing’s going to change that. We just want to make sure you’re safe and he’s treating you right.”
Steve ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, um, yeah. Sorry, this… this is not how I expected this to go.”
“You know how to be a gentleman, and you shouldn’t tolerate any less from him.”
“He’s been perfectly sweet. Why— Why are you not freaking out about this?”
Richard gave him a look. “Have you ever really thought about how we call Terry your uncle even though he’s just Mark’s roommate and we’re not really related?”
“Well, yeah, they’ve lived together for fifteen… Oh.” The final piece clicked into place.
“Yep. Kinda saw it coming, to be honest. You’re a bit vain for your own good.” He shrugged. “You boys are being safe, right?”
“Dad!”
“And not just with the sex stuff. You can handle yourselves in a fight?”
Steve, despite never having won any fight against a human person, nodded.
“Good.” He stood and walked around the desk to wrap Steve in a brief hug. “You’re my son, and you’ll always be welcome here.” Just as briskly, he let go.
“Thanks,” Steve winced at the sound of his voice cracking.
Helen’s voice rang out warmly. “Good night, Eddie! Drive safe!”
He took that as his cue to step out. In the hall, he found Eddie, face pale and eyes wide as they flicked back and forth from his parents’ bedroom and the plate in his hands.
Eddie turned to face him with a haunted look. “I’m scared of your mom.”
Richard clapped him on the back. “We all are, son. You boys don’t stay up too late.” With that he walked down the hall, shaking his head. Eddie was smarter than he looked. Maybe it’d be good for Steve to keep him around.
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Heavenly.
choi san x f!reader
genre: fluff
desc.: your boyfriend came home, feeling like the entire world is on his back. as a loving and caring girlfriend, you did something for him to make him feel not just "better", but "heavenly".
wc: 1,059
the hands of the clock told you that it's now 6:45 pm. then you continued washing the dishes. the sink's loaded after baking cookies for an order. you have been standing for like ten minutes now in here.
you know that any moment, your boyfriend would find you doing the dishes and would give you a warm back hug. as you were just thinking about that, you felt something pressed onto your body; arms wrapped around your waist, head resting on your shoulder.
you didn't even hear San enter the apartment, all you can hear is the flowing water—the faucet's loud as hell.
"well, good evening to you, mister." you greeted with a sweet tone.
you were thinking that he was just sleepy or lazy to talk, as how he always is when he gets home—but no, his head resting on your shoulder right now is heavier than ever. it is like the entire world is on your back. San is putting all of his head's weight on your shoulder but you didn't mind at all.
"hey," you turned your head to him, quickly finishing the dishes. "love, are you alright?"
you felt him shake his head lazily. few seconds passed and you are finally done with these damn dishes. you quickly dried your hands and turned around to see him; his eyes are half opened, shoulders almost dropping on the floor, and you can also feel the weight that he's carrying right now although you don't know what's going on yet.
"come here, what's wrong?" you wrapped your arms around his upper body, he rested his head on your shoulder again. "rough day at work? exhausted? tell me, baby..."
the caressing on his back made him feel calmer. San sighed so deeply. "i am not going to have rough days at work for a while because the investors in our company are now gone..."
you felt like tearing up when you heard that tone. it was low, and sad... this is your first time hearing your boyfriend talk like this and it's breaking your heart.
"oh, baby..," you gave him a couple of pats on his back. "you're going to be alright. i mean, it's fine to feel that way for now. but we're going through this, okay?"
"i know.." his tone sounded a lot better now. "it's just... i don't know, it kind of hurt me. I've been working for that company for almost two years now and it's going to close out of nowhere. i am just going to miss them. plus, i don't think i could ever stand being just here all day, doing and earning nothing."
"no, love, shush," you broke the hug and looked straight to his eyes. "come on, it's going to be fine. i will help you find a new job. but for now, the world won't end if you would just stay at home for a while with me, right? i will take care of you."
he painted an upside down smile and pulled you again for a hug. "alright then.. i just couldn't help but to feel bad. but I'm fine now that i head those from you."
"yeah..." you caressed his back once again. "would you do me a favor?"
you know so well that San is kind of workaholic... well, it's because he wants to earn and earn for his and your future together. he likes to invest in big things. he's been very helpful when it comes to financial problems, especially to his friends. that's one of the millions of things that you love about him—he is truly reliable, dependable all the time.
he can't stand it whenever he's not doing something productive. well, if it's not a job to work on, he'll be all over you; spoiling you, taking care of you as if you're a queen, taking you everywhere you'd like, just EVERYTHING. sometimes you'd feel bad because he's just doing things for you and often forgets to do something for himself, but then he would reassure you that he's fine and would finally do something about it just so you won't feel bad anymore.
"what favor?" he asked back.
"will you please stop thinking about getting a job for a while? maybe a month or two? just... i want you to get some rest, you need that. we have more than enough here, my love. what's very important right now is that you get some relaxation and time for yourself. everything's taken care of, keep that in mind. will you?" you asked him with the calmest, sweetest tone ever—the one that he won't even dare to disagree with.
he nodded, his head still on your shoulder but now lighter. "i will, baby. thank you, i love you. maybe i have been overworking a bit... i will rest for now."
"perfect," your eyes shined. you broke the hug and kissed his forehead. "now, come with me. i'll do something to make you feel better."
"but i already feel better—"
"just shut it and come with me," you glared at him, and he looked at you with his eyes smiling.
"how's that feel?"
San feels like dreaming — like he's on the clouds and there are angels singing for him.
he didn't answer your question yet. the whole bathroom is filled with nothing but silence.
he's like a child sitting on the toilet while you are shampooing and massaging his head. this is the kind of therapy that he's been craving for—too bad, why did you just think of it now? you could have made him feel good in this way before.
"hey? are you sleeping?" you whispered.
"i don't know what to say..." he whispered back, you almost didn't hear it. "heavenly..."
you smiled at the thought that maybe he's feeling so good. he really does. you're glad that you're finally making him feel this way...
"you should do this to me everytime that I'm taking a bath..." he murmured, eyes still closed. "will you?"
"you don't even have to ask." you replied. "i have been also wanting to do this but you take quick baths, how's that possible?"
he chuckled. "afraid to be late at work."
you two laughed silently.
"i'd do this to you as well, baby." he added. "maybe reward me with a kiss?"
"how many kisses are we talking about?"
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I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.
But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business.
I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art.
Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.
I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.
I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.
I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.
I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.
I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)
I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.
And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)
From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)
Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in.
Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.
Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜
#isa screams#long post#gif#flashing#i think? Lemme know if I'm incorrect on that one alksdjfLKSJDJDSG#I don't normally talk this much so its kinda strange?#its kinda nice to be more honest about this stuff though#I'm a bit more of a private person so its hard to find the balance between wanting to discuss things openly and honestly#but with the fact that I don't owe the entire world an explanation for everything I do#its a tricky thing#but today I felt like doing this and I think that's okay#if i regret it I just won't do it again alsdjLSDJLFJSGSDG#thanks if you read this! I appreciate it!#I'm a pretty smalltime artist relatively. So sometimes it feels as though it doesn't mater what i say or express.#But hm. I doubt its really that simple or bleak#And if I don't respect myself then well. Who will right?#And I want to learn how to be happy with how little or how much I get#part of the reason I've done so poorly mentally as an artist is chasing numbers and outside praise instead of asking the harder questions#am i happy with what i do? what I make? Who I am#I'm going to probably be working on those questions and problems for the rest of my life.#But thats okay. Thats not a bad thing :)
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Daemon x Reader - Mine
Content Warnings/Kinks: innocence kink, praise kink, dominance, marks/scratching, hickeys, choking, breath play, breast play, fingering, oral sex (reciprocal), penetrative sex, unprotected sex
Mine
Knock. Knock.
Y/n rapped on the large wooden door to his chambers. A couple of seconds passed before the entry opened, revealing Daemon in a loose white linen shirt that was untied, exposing the line between his defined pecs.
"Y/n" he smiled, a small smirk spreading across his face at the sight of her, "What is a lady like you doing here at this hour?"
"May we speak in private?" She asked.
"Come in" He made a sweeping gesture with his arms.
"Daemon..." she started once she was inside his bedroom, flushing as his eyes snapped to hers with clear interest, "As you know I am to be married tomorrow-"
"A true tragedy" he interrupted jokingly.
She blushed, "Well—though I know I should be grateful to the Lord Hand for taking me as his second wife I can't help but feel that I'll be...dissatisfied"
Daemon's eyebrow cocked in a suggestive manner.
"Are you implying what I think you are Y/n?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Are you sure?"
"I need you Daemon please" she begged, her face heating.
"You've got very good manners darling" he smirked before whispering back, leaning toward her, "I might just have to help you out"
She looked up at him, staring deeply into his eyes, getting lost in them. She shuddered when he brought his lips gently to hers. They were soft and warm, pushing against hers now with more urgency than before, his hands tangling in her hair, pulling her closer. His lips tasted of the finest wines.
"Mmm," she moaned into the kiss.
She could feel his lips curve into a smile at the sound.
"Is this your first time?"
"Yes"
He hummed thoughtfully, caressing the sides of her face as he did.
"Will that be a problem my Prince?" She questioned shyly.
Daemon looked at her with fire, like that of a dragon, kindling in his eyes.
"Get on your knees" he commanded.
She raised her eyebrows in shock.
"What? If you want to please your stupid husband in the future you'll need to learn somehow" He cocked his head, "And who better to teach you than me?"
Y/n nodded before sinking to her knees. She'd been turned on in the past, often touching herself if she felt the need, but nothing could've prepared her for what it felt like to look up at a man like Daemon from below. He pulled his shirt off over his head, revealing to her his taut muscles. She came toward him hesitantly, kissing down his 6-pack, pulling down his pants as she did. A slow, lazy smile spread across her face at the sight of his long, hard cock.
"Like what you see darling?" he teased.
She nodded sincerely, innocently, in a way that made Daemon's cock harden even more in front of her.
"Whenever you're ready..."
Y/n took a steadying breath before placing a small kiss on the tip of his cock, causing Daemon to groan. She then used the end of her tongue to lick up and down the underside of his shaft, wetting it before taking it fully into her mouth. Hollowing her cheeks, she took in more and more of his length. Using her saliva she began bobbing, creating a warm, wet hole for him.
"Gods" he cursed, looking down at her before commanding, "use your hands"
Y/n wet her palms, spitting in them first and then pumping them up and down along with her mouth, satisfying the entire length of his cock.
"Look at me" he then ordered dominantly.
She whimpered but complied, looking up into his stormy blue-grey eyes that were cloudy with lust as her mouth moved up and down the considerable length of his shaft.
"That's right" he groaned, intertwining his strong fingers in her hair and cocking his head as he spoke, "Such a pretty girl sucking me off like this"
Soon, Daemon's breath began to hitch and his chest began to heave. It was clear to Y/n that he was about to cum. The next moment, he pulled his cock out of her mouth, holding it right in front of her.
"Stroke me" he instructed, groaning slightly.
Y/n opened her mouth wide as she guided her hands up and down his shaft until he burst, his cum splattering against her tongue.
"Good girl" he praised, causing her to smile.
Daemon then slid his hand out of her hair, gripping the side of her neck, pulling her up so that she stood before him. Moving in perfect sync they stepped together until the backs of Y/n's knees hit the edge of Daemon's king-sized bed. Commanding her with his strength he pushed her down, lying her on the edge of the mattress. She spread her legs slowly, enjoying how his pupils dilated at the sight of her bare pussy.
"I may never touch you again after this..." Daemon started, "So tonight I'll make the most of our time together if that's okay with you"
Y/n nodded in agreement, her cheeks flushing in anticipation of Daemon's mouth on her. He ran his hands up and down the sides of her thighs, making the hairs on her legs stand up. She gasped when he lowered his mouth to her inner thigh, suckling on it until a small bruise formed.
"Can I touch you, darling?" He questioned from beneath her, his breath tickling her tense pussy.
"Please" she whimpered.
Her head lulled to the side when his tongue made contact with her clit, going, from the beginning to her most sensitive spot. As the minutes went by Y/n's moans and mewls got louder and louder until she could barely make noise anymore, her mouth forming silent vowels of pleasure. The feeling building in her stomach only doubled when she felt Daemon's fingers sliding into her wet hole, immediately running against her g-spot. She ground her hips upward, meeting the gentle curling tug of his digits, which perfectly complimented the desperate flicks of his tongue on her clit. Her back arched up off of the mattress, her insides pulsing already at the combination of feelings.
"Daemon" she mumbled, her eyes tightly shut.
"I know darling, I know" he breathed onto her pussy.
His strong fingers slipped in and out of her pussy, coating them in her juices. Then, he took them out, sliding the wet digits up and down her sensitive folds on either side of her hole, making her tense, before plunging them back in. He continued the pattern, teasing her entrance and her hole, without stopping his sucking on her clit.
"Fuck" she cried out as the feeling began to bubble in her lower stomach.
Daemon continued, pleasing her so much that her moans only got higher in pitch as he did.
"S-so good, I'm so—oh I'm gonna..." her words melted in her mouth as her orgasm crashed over her.
Her clit pulsed and pulsed and pulsed as Daemon used his fingers and tongue expertly on her whole surface. As the waves subsided he softened his pace on her clit, using a single finger to caress her throbbing hole.
"Such a mess for me darling" he cooed, looking up at her with lust-filled eyes as he brought his cum soaked fingers to his mouth, "a beautiful mess"
Y/n tugged at Daemon's strong shoulders, pulling him until he rested on top of her, his hard cock nestling between her legs, almost touching her desperate pussy.
"I want-I want" she stuttered, still overwhelmed from her orgasm.
"What my darling?" He questioned before whispering in a low tone, "Tell me"
"I need you inside me Daemon"
He grinned at that, the smile spreading slowly, cockily on his perfect face, lighting up his sunken eyes. In an instant his face dropped, becoming more serious.
"Are you ready?" He asked, positioning himself in front of her sopping hole.
She looked deep into his eyes, "Positive my Prince"
Daemon grunted as he slid inside her pussy, her hole tightening around him immediately. Once his cock was settled deep within her pussy he started thrusting into her at a fast pace, hitting that same spot inside over and over again.
"Ahh," she moaned, her nose scrunching up at the feeling.
"Does it hurt?" He questioned, immediately slowing his thrusts.
"No" she sighed, adjusting her hips, "Please don't stop"
Those words ignited another fire in his eyes. He bent forward kissing her between the breasts before beginning his pace again, causing her to moan. Daemon's cock curved perfectly inside her, hitting exactly the right spot, a spot she didn't even know existed until this moment. She gripped his back, her nails creating red marks on his pale flesh as she ran her hands up and down his scars. His mouth busied itself in the crook of her neck, sucking on the sensitive skin as he continued to thrust. "Please give it to me" she begged desperately as he fucked her deeper and deeper.
Daemon chuckled lowly before slipping his hand down to her pussy, making her moan in surprise as his fingers connected with her clit. Her back arched up into him as the pleasure began to build inside her, her pussy tensing around his cock even more than before. She released small moans and little sighs with each thrust, whimpers of pleasure that echoed throughout the room, bouncing off the domed ceiling.
"Mmm," she whimpered.
Daemon ground himself into her pussy with ruthless precision and speed. She shuddered as he fucked her deeper, pushing her legs up until they tangled behind his head. With her legs bent, her ankles intertwined, and one of Daemon's hands squeezing her neck while the other teased her clit, she felt pleasure like she'd never felt it before. He was pushing his cock so deep her eyes rolled back.
"You're mine Y/n" he grunted as he thrust, "You might be betrothed now, you might be a married woman tomorrow, but you'll always be mine do you understand me?"
She nodded weakly.
"Use your words" he demanded, squeezing her neck even tighter so that her breathing stuttered.
"I'm yours" she agreed, gasping.
Daemon released her neck, caressing her face before returning his mouth to her neck and breasts. Egged on by his low breathy moans, she ground her hips down onto his cock, in time with his strokes, making him grunt in her ear.
"So tight for me, so fucking tight"
Her mouth then went dry, hanging open as his cock and rubbing fingers made her orgasm come crashing down over her body in waves.
"That's the spot eh darling?" He questioned cheekily, his breath practically ragged as he thrust in and out of her wet pussy.
"Ohh" she groaned, her body squirming beneath him.
The waves of her orgasm beat at her clit and inside her hole, the feeling spreading everywhere. As her body was overwhelmed she could feel that Daemon was close too.
His neck snapped back, his movements becoming slightly sloppier as he came undone within her as well, groaning softly as he did. Daemon gripped her waist with one hand, the other rubbing loosely at her clit as she came down from her own orgasm. He filled her with his milky cum, relishing in the feeling of her tight pussy squeezing, pulsing around him. "Fuck" he grunted, pulling himself out of her dripping hole. They shifted on the bed until they both lay on their backs panting.
"You were so good for me darling" he praised, leaning over and kissing her, "so good for me"
"Daemon?" She asked nervously.
"Yes?"
"Do you think I'll make a good bride?"
"You'll be amazing..." he said before hesitating, "And I know because you'll be mine"
"What?"
She turned to face him, confusion marking her face.
"You really think I'd let that awful Lord Hand have you when you could belong to me...don't worry my darling, it'll all be arranged"
"Thank you Daemon" she grinned sheepishly.
He smiled slightly, moving forward to kiss her gently on the forehead.
#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon targaryen smut#daemon smut#daemon targaryen#daemon x reader#smut#oneshot#hotd x reader#hotd#hotd fanfic#choking#first time
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Hey! Asking about your experience with being punk/punk adjacent and also in academia. How do you handle the two? Punk action and activism is grassroots, which I try to be involved in, but I feel like I’m just speaking big words and writing into an echo-chamber about gender. Like the only good I do is explaining to a group of cis people terminology. What are your experiences on this, if you have any?
Hmm. Yea this was difficult for me to balance too. I'll insert a readmore cuz this got kinda long.
I enjoy academia and research and being able to have more advanced conversations with people, but I was also sick of being in classes or circles of people who I knew would speak "woke" for the sheer fact of looking like good people, but on the down low were incredibly racist, classist, queerphobic, and just down right nasty carceral people. It was difficult trying to sift through who was safe to open up to and who wasn't, because many people were actually liberals in disguise (even if they called themselves leftists or leftist aligned). I also was never shy about being an anarchist/punk, I was the only person who wore my spiked jackets and boots to class, my outfits were loud, but I also began seeing some other queer people I knew wear their own jackets because they were encouraged by me (so that was nice).
I was doing activism on campus while in undergrad alongside the usual academic theory/research stuff, and it turns out that people actually will hate your guts the moment you start pointing out problems. The usual "YOU become the problem the second you point out THE problems", so I faced a lot of social backlash, even from other marginalized people who I had confided in about problems. My advice is that unless you're willing to become one of the most hated people on campus, don't do your activism on campus. It's a surefire way of making enemies, even enemies in people you have never met in your life. There are plenty of local orgs, food banks, and churches with programming that you could be way more productive in than trying to combat institutionalized oppression like that of an academic institution. You can try, believe me because I did, and while I learned a lot about organizing, I also learned when to give up and focus on my community instead of changing systems.
You pointed out that you're getting sick of explaining to cis people. This is definitely something you can stop doing, if you'd like. I stopped giving up my labor to educate other people (within reason) because I was one of the few trans people on campus. But I also have this value that I am not about to let some person walk around with the wrong idea about marginalized communities, so I always speak up when people say incorrect things (this has also caused some yt people to avoid me lol). Of course, you do this with compassion and with the goal of making sure their future interactions with marginalized people go better, but after a certain point, you need to be able to hold your energy for where you want to put it. Put more pressure on your institution or adjacent orgs to have things like safezone training (or bring in queer orgs for trainings/lectures). You can also just tell people some websites to check out instead of answering their questions, because surprise to them, their questions can in fact be solved by a simple search, they just are far too lazy to do that.
I dunno tho. I still struggle with growing so much in terms of punk/anarchist theory and ideas, but i have a serious lacking in actual community organizing. I'm introverted, don't like big noisy crowds, and I am quite socially anxious. Being punk is like my armor in a world that doesn't like me, because I find people fuck with me less when Im in spikes and boots. I find theory and academia so fulfilling for my virgo brain, but I also don't shame myself for not being active in local community. I know there will be a time I will be, but I also know that everyone is helping in the movement in the ways they can. It doesn't matter if that is at the food bank, in protest, on the computer, or by reading theory. All of it is equally important, and some of us aren't going to be good at everything.
I found myself feeling far more productive and alive when I was working with communities I knew would keep me safe. Started surrounding myself with more BIPOC queer people who were also working against carceral thinking, and I found my life to be way more enjoyable. connecting authentically with people who you feel safe with is just as important as organizing or protesting. You can organize or protest, but if you don't have a community to turn to, you'll burn out and won't be able to sustainably stay in the movement. Focus on energies, peoples, and love, connect authentically and have difficult conversations about love and politics and theory. You can be an academic, but still maintain the punk values you love in your daily life. Humans are made of contradicting values and experiences, we shouldn't shame each other for that and instead hold the multiple and contradicting truths in us all.
I can go on and on, but ill leave it at that. feel free to ask anything else in specific tho.
#muertoresponds#punk#ig another tip is connect with professors#many of my proffs were literally communists haha and i was their token anarchist#but many of them will have experience and even places for u to go to#ive been invited to many local organizings or dinners with groups by professors#never was able to go becuz of time and cuz i couldnt drive#but these are people with lived experience and theory on their belt
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"I am going to find this pelt if it's the last thing I do. What? No, it's not because it'll make Qingqiu happy, do I look like zhangmen-shixong to you? No, it's not the right thing to do only Liu Qingge's dumb enough to make that argument. No I don't CARE how pretty Qingqiu is, he's still a jerk and that's the POINT. If he gets his otter skin back he'll leave and go do... Otter stuff, and then we don't have to deal with him anymore." ~ one of the other peak lords (presumably)
It would be hilarious if the peak lord who says that is Shang Qinghua. Why? He wants Shen Qingqiu out. The man is the only one who suspects the An Ding peak lord of being a traitor (and is really the only person smart enough to find evidence too), so the earlier that Shang Qinghua can chase the Qing Jing peak lord away, the better!
-o-o-o-
Insert scene of Shen Jiu getting piles upon piles of soft fuzzy warm furs from Yue Qingyuan who feels oh so guilty for not realizing Shen Jiu's "problem" earlier...
-o-o-o-
#the king of the demon realm holding up an otter'this is my future husband be nice to him or die'#he gets his own lil pool in the throne room to float around in (via @little-mx-cryptid)
There's no reason why demons can't find selkie flesh a delicacy. This is the true reason why Luo Binghe, in this AU at least, conquers the demon world. He needs to eliminate all threats to his Shen Yuan otter, and he starts by... conquering and banning otter hunting/eating.
Like, how dare Mobei Jun even say that Luo Binghe was keeping his otter as a "emergency ration"!
Course, Luo Binghe doesn't exactly think things through... and now his palace, with the little lazy river going the throne room next to the pool looks like a delicious noodle river restaurant with Shen Yuan the otter as the main course.
(Ooh, it would be so fucking delicious if Shang Qinghua, the jittery coward, is the real otter person out of all the Cang Qiong. And his prey instincts go wild whenever Mobei-Jun is around because he knows just how much demons like eating poor otters like him!)
[More in #Shen Yuan is an otter AU]
#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#bingqiu#svsss#svsss ideas#scumbag self saving system#scum villain self saving system#shen yuan#luo binghe#mxtx#bingyuan#Shen Yuan is an otter AU
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My biggest dislike for the fanon coffee addict Tim Drake is I rarely see it explored in a genuinely interesting way.
Personally, I headcanon that he struggles with addiction in a lot of areas. I really believe the idea of him having a caffeine addiction and intentionally doing a poor job at hiding it to make hiding other addictions more successful very interesting.
I imagine that, prior to being Robin, he absolutely had a drinking problem. He was left alone for long periods of time with minimal supervision, and his parents seem like the type to have a wine cellar. I imagine in a fit of rebellion, upset by being left alone, he stole a bottle of wine and drank it. After this bottle of wine was not noticed to be missing, even when his parents came back, that it began a very slippery slope into a proper drinking problem.
Then I would imagine with him sneaking out at night so often, he met some shady characters who would offer him a cigarette. Desperate for positive attention, figuring it would be fine, he would take them up on the offer. It was fine. He only smoked when offered, and just because he intentionally hung around the people who offered more and more to get more cigarettes did not mean anything. It was fine. He wouldn't experience any health consequences for decades, and chances of him surviving that long when stalking Batman and Robin well. Maybe he developed a bit of a live fast attitude.
And I imagine that he got a harsh wakeup call after Jason died. He knew Batman needed a Robin and he knew he could fulfill that role. But he also knew he needed to prove he was responsible to Bruce, and there was no way Bruce would think his delinquent activities of underage drinking and smoking were responsible. So he quit cold turkey.
This is when his caffeine problem really kicked off. Built on the basis of other substances, ones he was only able to stay off of by throwing himself into his training. It escalated to the point where Bruce asked him about it, very concerned. Tim told him he'd cut back and proceeded to not do that.
And Bruce never found out.
As time wore on, he was becoming more and more aware of the fact that Jason smoked when he was Robin. Jason hid it from Bruce. And Tim had been hiding his caffeine intake from Bruce. Surely, a couple of cigarettes now and then would not hurt...
Tim knew that the best way to hide something was to make it seem like you were incapable of hiding anything. So he pretended like his caffeine intake was going up, and pretended to hide it. Bruce was suspicious beginning day one of this plan. He waited through three uncomfortable conversations with Bruce, after all three pretending to get better at hiding, right up until there was a proper intervention in which Bruce properly restricted his intake of caffeine.
And Tim let him. Any time Tim would drink more than he was supposed to, he did not hide it as well as he could. He struck a perfect balance of making it look like he was skilled at hiding it without actually hiding it from Bruce. So when he began smoking again, well, Bruce did not know.
I would honestly say it is more likely that he swapped to vaping. Using flavours that smelt like deodorant he would intentionally use around the manner, it was a lot easier to hide.
His plan of it being occasional fell right to shit as he jumped on nicotine to manage his caffeine withdrawals.
I believe he would have successfully hid it for his entire Robin career. He definitely had a problem, but it never impacted his heroics so it was fine. And sure, maybe it did make his schooling worse, but Bruce believed that was just because of the stress of being Robin and his parents believed it to be normal teenage laziness.
Then his mom died and his dad was in a coma.
Tim fell hard into drinking. With his fake uncle excuse, he was left fully unsupervised whenever he wanted.
It is late and I am needing to head off to bed, so brief summary of future events.
- Upon having to move into the manner, Tim intentionally had so much caffeine in one go he was just short of overdosing to hide what substances he had actually been abusing.
- Tim had to cut down on his substance abuse to avoid detection. It was awful. He ended up confiding in the Titans about it, who supported him in getting sober and cutting down how much he was vaping.
- He was actually doing very well for a while.
- Bruce died.
- He could not risk being intoxicated most of the time, too busy with suddenly being the CEO of Wayne Indistries, having an increased load in heroics since Bruce was gone, and then eventually realising Bruce was actually alive and he was the only one to be able to get him back. But he was vaping every moment he had alone, and every moment he knew for sure he could spare he would binge drink.
- Obviously with the situation, no one noticed this.
- I would say it all got particularly bad when he disappeared to go find Bruce.
- He came back, still had really bad substance abuse problems. He began withdrawing as opposed to trying to cut down.
- I am not quite certain when Kon and Bart dying fits into this, but their deaths made it worse, them coming back did not make it better.
- Eventually people noticed he had been hidinf away.
- I like the idea of the Titans trying their best to help him, but he did not want help. Lost as to what to do, they resolved they were going to tell someone if they thought it would be threatening to his life. They made him check in daily just to make sure he was alive, it got so bad.
- At one point Tim went MIA, and at the 24 hour mark they called the Bats. Explained the situation as briefly as they could.
- Comfort after a lot of angst, Tim gets treatment and properly goes into recovery
I need sleep.
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https://www.tumblr.com/laf-outloud/719599290829389824
Jensen Ackles seems too forced when he does anger, too obvious when peeved, too heavy with sarcasm. What kind of acting is that? Maybe it is that it is acting. I don't get the sense that there is anything beneath the surface to explore. He plays a part, rather than becomes the character.
I believe the acting Jensen does is considered over-acting without any consideration for the character... it does seem very one-note, at least from what I've seen since SPN. I know he can do better, as even his Dean from early seasons of SPN had a layer of nuance that can only happen by truly understanding the character and his motivations... Unfortunately, the long stretch of SPN either made him lazy or forgetful when it comes to crafting characters and stories.
He's very histrionic when he acts, and it started in the later half of spn. He played Dean so much more nuanced and layered in the early seasons, and more subtle - although Dean as a character was never really "subtle" and that's ok because that's who the character was and it worked for him. As the seasons went on he seemed to get too comfortable and then when the writing took a nosedive, instead of trying to work with the script and still make Dean recognizable as the character we knew, he just went with the script as is and overdid it.
He got comfortable and therefore complacent. He never worked on his craft because he knew he had reliable steady employment for the foreseeable future. Then when spn was coming to an end I think he thought the popularity he found as Dean was going to continue on and he was just going to get offered roles so again, he didn't put any work in (outside of the awful s15 audition reel he tried to work into the show). And now we see where that has gotten him. If he wasn't conventionally good looking and as charismatic as he is, I don't think he would be getting the jobs he's gotten since spn - and he even got all of those by working his connections, but those are going to dry up or move to other positions where they can't help him anymore sooner or later.
I say this all the time when I see his acting nowadays (I watch TB and saw clips from both BS and BG2 online) - when I watch Jensen act I feel like I am watching him think through what he is about to do the second before he does it. I don't see the character, I see Jensen acting (I feel like I am literally watching him do the job rather than play the part). And even then its all mostly just different versions of Dean (which is funny because he seems to have forgotten how to play Dean...).
You're not the first to mention all this, and I doubt the last. I completely agree about the lack of care he took with Dean in the latter seasons of SPN. I think the only times I saw him return to early-seasons Dean were when he was acting against Sam Smith and JDM (and occasionally Jared, though I think he let Jared do most of the heavy lifting when they had emotional scenes).With everyone else, it was just business as usual.
And since then? It's just as you said: "I feel like I am literally watching him do the job rather than play the part." I get the feeling that Jensen also sees these roles as jobs and not an art form, which is why the work he puts into them is so lackluster. The problem is, while putting in the minimum amount of work in other industries can be hidden from future employers, that's not the case with the entertainment industry, where everyone can see how much or how little you care about the "job."
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Be yourself.
I see too many kids transform themselves from sweet children who barely did anything wrong in class, to those mean and stuck up ones who constantly disrupt and are rude to teachers. I recognise that some people are just like this, but i’ve literally witnessed first hand people changing completely to get into/join that group. I was also one of those people and I was quickly humbled before things progressed too far 😭.
Here are some lessons I’ve learned from surviving a British public secondary school + other gained knowledge
1) You will find your group of people as long as you keep remaining yourself, these friends will be the friends you can be authentically you around
2) Don’t change yourself to be anything your not, this will not end well and invite company that you don’t even fit into
3) Keep being yourself and you will find like minded people, once you get to yr10 your friend groups will finalise and will most likely be smaller. The less friends you have, the more easier it is to connect and be yourself with
4) Look into possibilities of hobbies and interests to understand yourself better. Join clubs/extracurricular activities (in school or out of school). Research at home things you might possibly be into, learn new things online
5) Who cares if people look at you weirdly? Honestly if your having fun being yourself and people look at you strange for doing so then that is their problem (obviously within reason because sometimes ppl are just weird fr)
6) Care about your future, focus on what you want to achieve in the years to come. Don’t dumb yourself down for anybody, listen to your teachers when they are genuinely just trying to teach, don’t be difficult and stop others in the class from learning just because you don’t want to, don’t skip class (from year 9ish to 10 onwards, those years contain important content for your GCSE’s and missing out on those will impact your grades) don’t be like the kids from my school who celebrate having 1s (a grade one is a ‘U’ or ungraded, you need a 4 to pass)…
7) Have aspirations, don’t just aspire to do the lowest of jobs for simplicity or out of laziness. Strive to work towards your goals, have dreams! Keep motivated to do well, study and always aim high
8) Don’t do what you know you wouldn’t actually do if you didn’t feel pressured or influenced.
9) Don’t change yourself or stress about boys. The wrong ones are a waste of time and extra stress. Don’t force yourself onto anyone and I mean this because there are people who honestly are too obsessed for their own good with men and do not care if they are relationships or not 😭(you can tell I am a witness of this one). Honestly pray for the right one to come to you, no matter how long it takes, I promise one will just slide into your life just like that 😣 (Speaking from experience). Just be normal around them and if they don’t like you for letting out the side you only share when comfortable then they are not the one, trust
10) Find and invest in a unique personal style. This helps define you as a person, knowing what you truly like that isn’t sculpted by social media or heavily influenced by others around you (although it is perfectly fine to like those styles too! You can merge them to make them more you). This does take time though, break out of those aesthetic boxes and just wear whatever you like. Get Pinterest and put everything in a board so it’s easier to look at.
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Umm what are your meronia divorce headcanons? 😇 Yes I am baiting you into posting those tags you wrote because they were SO CORRECT
HGFDSJFSDFSD <3 <3 <3 GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THEM AS EXES... BLESS YOU...
Okay. So. BROADLY. Here is how I imagine they break up:
Mello, being literally so fucking bad at understanding Near and also being so bad at being normal in general and ALSO being bad at seeing his own value... I could see him suggesting breaking up as a way to test if Near really cares about him (this is deranged but so is he) and getting DEEPLY hurt when Near is not sobbing screaming crying on the floor pleading for him to stay. IMO Near is actually genuinely gutted in pretty much any situation where they part ways, but he sees that as his problem to deal with. He's not going to attempt to coerce Mello into staying in a relationship that he's (evidently) not happy in. There are. UM. Exceptions to this. But we won't get into that (<- lazy and also IDK if I can do it without spoiling a future story).
The biggest problem here is that even when Mello realizes he's miserable without Near etc etc etc he's wayyyy too proud to actually admit he made a mistake ending their relationship. I do think, however, that he would struggle to long-term stay away from Near fully. His impulse control is pretty bad so, like. Y'know.
I'll, uh. Refrain. From belaboring the point here [<- already plagued empress with the most disorganized thoughts imaginable yesterday about this ghsgjfsfhsdf] but I love the idea of a situation where they're exes because of Mello being chaotic and terrible and then he continues to be chaotic and terrible by starting to sleep with Near on a multiple-times-a-week basis again without actually acknowledging that they're effectively dating.
Like he's not fucking anyone else, he tells people he's not single, but he will NOT ask Near to get back together. He will however take literally one shot of tequila and just leave the bar or party & walk to Near's. "Ohhh I was just in the area" <- he had to walk 30 minutes to get there and climb up three stories of fire escape to do this. And he WOULD walk further if that was what was required.
Near is very nice and pretends like this is normal behavior because IMO he on some level realizes Mello is profoundly dysfunctional and is trying to figure out how he's supposed to deal with the whole thing (but is still in love enough and sufficiently used to Mello's deranged nature to put up with it <3 ).
Bonus points in my mind if this is a college AU or s/t and Near is roommates with Gevanni, who Mello fucking HATES on principle (read: is attractive and in Near's general vicinity, therefore must die). He has only met George (<- intentionally gets Gevanni's name wrong) a handful of times, but he was REALLY annoyed to find out that Gene didn't even know who he was bc CERTAINLY Near would have mentioned him. Gerald should really pay better attention :/ [Near is an undergrad student, Gevanni is a PhD candidate who desperately needed to sublet somewhere cheap and thought he lucked out w/ the most relaxed quiet tidy roommate Ever until this rude blonde guy started showing up and having loud sex with Near 2-3x a week]
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Concerned rambling about my big kid, also under the break.
My kid's social studies teacher does not like him. I have a child who is easy to dislike if you are not invested in getting to know him and his peculiarities. As he moves up into middle school and high school and has many more teachers who have him for just a short amount of time per day, this is going to happen more and more often.
My kid needs extra support in the form of written instructions for all assignments, and that is something that will need to go into his IEP next year. He also gets overwhelmed easily and is unable to explain homework assignments to us sometimes, nor is he always able to bring home assignment instructions. Sometimes because the instructions are oral and sometimes because they're written but he's lost the assignment page. There's also the problem of every teacher using a different app on the iPad for various assignments, and I have no idea how to access them, and he can't always tell me.
My child is more work than many teachers want to deal with, but he also has documented disabilities and needs to be appropriately accommodated. He is not being lazy or defiant. He is overwhelmed, disorganized, and distracted. He's bored in class and acting like it not because he's bad but because he has ADHD and poor social skills.
I need to work on getting a thicker skin because teachers are going to be curt and rude to me because they don't like dealing with my kid. And I will need to learn how to tolerate that and communicate with them anyway so that my child can have the tools and accommodations he needs.
The problem with my kid is that his disabilities are not immediately obvious. So teachers have the same expectation from him as other children. But he is just not at the same level, and he needs extra support. Some teachers really, really get it, and they go out of their way to support him, and I am so grateful for them and teachers like them. I know it takes extra effort to teach a child like mine. I know teachers are overtaxed and unsupported. But my kid deserves an education and is legally guaranteed to have one.
Yesterday, at his robotics club presentation, he had a meltdown in front of his club and all the parents because he felt like the kids in the club weren't listening to him. They probably weren't. My big kid can be abrasive and terse in communication style. He's more concerned with getting rules exactly right than hurting someone else's feelings. This is just such classic autistic behavior imo. It's not something he can help, but it makes him unlikeable to children and adults with neurotypical social skills.
When he was beginning to meltdown, I did not intervene because I know from lots and lots of experience that intervening when he's emotional escalates rather than de-escalates his behavior. He has to regulate himself, and then once he regulates we discuss what happened and try to make plans to handle similar situations differently in the future. But what it looks like to others, in the moment of his meltdown, is that I'm not parenting him. And then people think I'm a bad mother, when what I am is a careful, perceptive parent who is teaching him how to advocate and care for himself and make better choices for the future. I also always validate his emotions. Even if they don't make sense to me, they are valid to him!
Yesterday's meltdown was tough to witness, but he pulled himself out of it within minutes, was minimally disruptive, the event was able to continue without him, and then he was able to calmly walk away afterward. For my kid, this is a success.
But what teachers and parents and other children see is a disruptive, bad child. And I will have to deal with that alongside him. I will have to work with teachers who don't like him. It's all so exhausting--especially for someone who would rather die than draw attention to myself--but it's necessary, and I'm doing the right thing. And I'm not going to punish my child for a meltdown that he can't help because he's autistic.
Good lord, life is difficult sometimes.
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It's so funny how my father is pro corporal punishment since he believes the lack of it is why there seems to be a rise in bad behavior amongst minors.
But as I look back on the stories he told about his childhood, it only emboldened my current beliefs of how it's ineffective and harmful.
My father got beat as a kid, and guess what? He didn't improve because of it. I've heard stories about he and his brother fighting other boys, I hear stories about how lazy he was, and I hear stories about him being a disrespectful and ungrateful little shit.
He got beat a lot as a kid, even over things that weren't his fault. And while he has convinced himself that it made him better. In reality, it made him worse.
Like a lot of boomers, he is very aggressive at best and violent at worst. He thinks he is entitled to good behavior he never learned himself and won't show other people in return. He is repeating the cycle of abuse because not once did he question the way he was bought up.
But the most ironic part of all is that a lot boomers like him still grew up spoiled. And it's not just shit like throwing a tantrum at a Starbucks because they have to wait either.
Their parents made sure that they had what was best so they could have a secure future. But boomers are apparently the first generation whose children are living worse off than them, and it has led to a ripple effect where even the generations after are suffering from their selfishness.
But God forbid they actually take accountability for that. Oh no. It's everyone else's fault. It's us, their children and grandchildren, who are the selfish ones. Whatever happened to the good old days, am I right?
But that tangent aside, it made me realize that violence and bad behavior in school is nothing new. That has always been a problem. Schools just can't hide it anymore because children now have phones with them and they record this shit.
I remember a lot of horrible things that happened in primary and secondary school, stuff that would've made the news. But the schools managed to hide it.
They always have been, and they're successful too because they've managed to convince the public that it's a growing problem and not one that's been there for a while.
So, of course, people like my father are convinced that this is the result of corporal punishment being banned in schools.
But corporal punishment didn't help then, and it wouldn't help now. Since the fucking 15th century, people have been reexamining how we raise children, realizing that certain ways they're brought up can harm them.
People aren't mindlessly saying we shouldn't beat kids. They looked into it and realized it wasn't helping. Not to mention, they offer much better alternatives.
It should be common knowledge at this point how harmful corporal punishment is. Even to this day, we get studies proving that it's ineffective at best and outright harmful at worse.
But people like my father don't know that. They will mindlessly believe stuff like the Bible that outright say that beating children is good because it'll help mold them into well-adjusted adults. Yeah, let's ignore the fact that this thing is thousands of years old, we don't know the actual author, and they probably never dealt with a child or should've never been trusted with them to begin with.
I am not going to follow some old ass back. I am going to the fucking professionals and learning my shit because kids deserve better and we've been doing them wrong for long enough.
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IMO the environmental allegory and social commentary was written better in FFXVI than FFVII. I am not trash-talking VII in the slightest, I just thought it was a bit more realistic here.
Spoilers!
The crystals are a finite resource that make people's lives momentarily easier but worse in the long term. Constant war for those resources is a background part of everyday life. Demand far outstrips supply to the detriment of the environment. Everyone sees the blight. They know it's getting worse. But they can't change their day to day lives. They already have enough to worry about. They just want their bread.
It would be easy to be like "oh look at these stupid Valistheans, too lazy to make a fire properly so they use their crystals or slave labor for their daily work" But are we any better? No. I am writing this blog (and you are reading it) on a machine built off the backs of impoverished human labor. Same with the food we eat, the clothes we wear. It's affordable and we can just donate the clothes we no longer like and get new ones for fairly cheap. Just like the Valistheans, we love our convenience and affordability, even if the long-term consequences are worse. We are all aware of these issues, but just like in real life, those in power in Valisthea stay in power by keeping the population addicted to convenience and not providing any alternatives. We know our food is grown by exploited labor, but fixing that issue would make food more expensive, and many are financially struggling already. So we grumble and accept the status quo. If Valistheans are stupid for using crystals and bearers to fill their wells, then we're just as stupid.
The Ultimas were no better. They completely trashed their world and instead of doing better, they trashed Valisthea, then decided to just build a new world on the energy of others. They never learned. They knew the problem and most likely a better solution, but the change was probably too big for them to bother with. Likewise, we as humans talk about colonizing space instead of responsibly reproducing and cleaning up after ourselves. Clive even said it to Ultima's face: we're the same.
This is why I enjoyed the post-credit scene so much in this game. The kids are grumbling while they manually start the fire, but then they play under a clear blue sky and in a healthy, lush garden. Clive got his wish. Everything he fought for, humanity pulled together and created a better future. It's possible if everyone plays their part. Being in my 4th decade of life, sometimes I get too jaded and lose faith we can work for a better world. I appreciate Square Enix for their faith and hope in us. We shouldn't be cynical and give up. Clive sure didn't.
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About that Nova and Pluto height difference picture (this is gonna be a long post y'all)
I deleted the picture I drew of Nova and Pluto kissing on every one of my social medias save for Tumblr because people have been expressing their discomfort with how Nova looked like a child compared to Pluto who looked like a fully grown adult.
And I completely understand all the upset reactions since Pluto makes everyone look way more tiny than they truly are. It definitely didn't help that I was being lazy when I sketched and lined everything since I dread full bodies sometimes and tried to cheat by hiding most of Nova's with her big gamer jacket.
So that, mixed with Nova's height in comparison to Pluto, and me not focusing more on her anatomy led to a picture that, if you are already familiar with the characters, looks cute and fluffy. But if you are new to them, looks a lot less cute and more gross.
After talking to a friend as well as a mutual about the picture, I decided that deleting it and fleshing Nova's design out more would be the best.
Unlike Jack, Nana, Sweetheart, and Bitterbat, I've been slacking on drawing Nova and Pluto. And the latter couples have had whole make-overs and an established way I draw them that makes my brain go "YEP THIS WORKS". But Nova and Pluto have been neglected in my head so I haven't been updating their looks alongside my art style like I have been with the others. Which means I still draw them based off the designs I made of them back in like-2020 or 2021???
BASICALLY THEY'VE BEEN LONG OVER DUE FOR SOME TINKERING.
Specifically Nova. Pluto I am very happy with. But Nova's design needs more lovin' in it.
I won't be completely overhauling her since I love her current look-I just want to do a better job at her design.
When I first designed Nova and Pluto, they were meant to be based off retro anime designs for a cute girl and handsome boy (even though Pluto is nonbinary). Sadly, cute anime girls often look very less mature than their male counterparts and so Nova suffers the same problem by default. I also wanted Nova to stand out from my other adult female characters and have her lack the same amount of curves and basically be flat.
This is something I will still be keeping because the idea that "curves=adult" is genuinely a shitty concept. Same as "short=child" since there are PLENTY of shorties out there that are grown adults. I am one of them-it's why I keep making my girls so short. I need some representation down here 😭.
When it comes to Nova's current default outfit-I will technically still be keeping her gamer jacket in her wardrobe closet but I'll be giving her a new jacket that will serve to be her new default one that shows her build more so she won't look so "childish" compared to Pluto. It'll help to avoid a repeat situation (I hope) as well as solve my constant frustration at having to cover up good ass anatomy with clothing (I DO IT ENOUGH TO JACK-I PLAYED MYSELF WITH NOVA'S JACKET)
OVERALL-Nova just needs the same love I gave to Nana and Sweetheart when they went through their original tinkers.
I will continue to draw Nova and Pluto together because I care about them and their story a lot. But with the themes that occur in the story and the relationship Nova and Pluto have together, it's definitely important that I make sure that cat girl looks more like a cat woman in future art I draw of her.
As for why I didn't delete the Tumblr post of the original picture-this entire site is an internet archive which means if someone reblogs something from someone, and then that someone deletes the original post, the reblog doesn't go down with it and remains. So it'd be useless to delete it. I just settled for turning reblogs off.
In the future I definitely want to redraw the picture but I'll hold off until I give Nova the touch ups she very much deserves.
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for the @lamenweek Day 1 prompt: The Summer Palace
The letter is waiting for Damen when he and Laurent arrive in Lentos, sitting on a table in the antechamber to their rooms. The envelope is addressed in Laurent’s elegant, swooping hand, and Laurent’s cheeks go a vibrant rose-pink when he sees Damen notice it.
“I wrote that . . . some time ago,” he says, before finding a flimsy excuse to busy himself elsewhere in their rooms.
Amused and fond, Damen opens the envelope and unfolds the letter within.
Damianos,
When you read this, you will be in our rooms in Lentos, and undoubtedly I will be there by your side. I do not know why I am writing you a letter that you cannot possibly read until months have gone by and spring has waved into summer. Perhaps it is that I have already tonight written you a letter to be delivered to you in Ios as fast as ship can sail, and I am looking for an excuse to write you again.
Perhaps it is that I want to conjure in my mind the image of you, not of you as you are as I write this, but as you will be on reading it: not harried by the ever-changing quarrels of the kyroi but relaxed, heat-slow and sun-drenched, thinking no further into the future than the next walk in the gardens or ride over the grounds or dip in the sea.
Perhaps it is that I wish to imagine the version of myself as I will be on the day you read this: as sun-drenched as you and as relaxed as I may be, and blushing as I see you reading this.
Oh, but I miss you, Damianos. Miss you, as you are the night I write this: undoubtedly staying up late over a table of maps and reports, working through problems of logistics and legal codes and defense strategies with that remarkable gift you have for finding the straightforward path through the tangle of intrigue. With that stubborn insistence on fair-dealing I have come to rely on. My stalwart partner, reliable in all things.
And I miss you as you will be when you read this, sweetly attentive and wonderfully lazy, full of soft words and daydreams about things to come. I think it is here, Damen, where you come closest to being what could be described as whimsical. You begin to let that mantle of kingship that I sometimes think has been yours even since birth slip away a little. You are gentle with me here, but you are gentle with me everywhere. Here, you are gentle with yourself.
Damen, I want you to carry that gentleness with you when you leave here like a seashell or smooth-rounded stone in your pocket, for use when you are the Damianos of Ios or Marlas or Arles again.
Ah, but I am rambling, and if we are in Lentos and together, you have better things to do than read my musings.
And so I will surrender you, Damianos of Lentos, to the Laurent of Lentos who is there with you today. But I am holding you in my thoughts, tonight in Marlas as we go about , in our separate work, the slow process of building a kingdom together.
Yours as ever,
Laurent
#captive prince#lamen week 2023#yeah so this is late#but better late than never#yesterday I was mean so today I will be sappy
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