#I told them on call I was gonna sleep

[mystycalypso]

Being pulled down the rabbit-hole

"I'd thought it'd be over that night. Seeing him in cuffs. I thought I was safe, that our friends would be safe. But now? ...I think we're getting pulled into something much deeper"

(Click on image for high quality version)

#welcome to raven brooks #hello neighbor welcome to raven brooks #trinity bales hello neighbor #trinity bales #trinity hello neighbor #nicky roth #nicky hello neighbor #HNAS #hello neighbor fanart #digital art #drawing #artist #artwork #God I'm so proud of this one! #I spent so long adjusting the posing n stuff #AND I REMEMBERED HER EYESHADOW AND HIS FRECKLES!!!! #I'm so happy hehehe #don't tell Calypso how late I've been up #I told them on call I was gonna sleep #I fibbed u_u #not on purpose tho I just can't sleep

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

#moe talks a lot #i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry #and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds #LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO #shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds #BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER #i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up #i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong #after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before #YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain #oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older #and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds #holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang #sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat #but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like #welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant #anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain #im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake #but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry #anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering

[disdaidal]

I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

#personal #i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week #i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here #but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting #i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday #where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get #after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks #but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that #what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed #so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try #because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times #which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even #so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call #from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today #and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out #'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out #because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own #i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still #but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously #so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me #i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but #at least i'd know #anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing #sorry

[lesbiansanemi]

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER #I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family #I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get #home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep #she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM #and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late #she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘ #BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon #(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to) #and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’ #and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them #and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’ #but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side #I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY #never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me #IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough #but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later #cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be #there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them #I’m going to scream I’m going to cry #if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them #but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave #FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL #and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother #I KNOW she did this on purpose #I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long #(again… because of work… something I can’t control) #so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position #where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then #or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much

[onedirecton]

unfortunately my neighbours r continuing to smoke indoors 👍 0 days since our last nonsense

#last night was horrible . the bathroom and my roommate’s room just reeked because their unit is basically on the other side of her wall #she’s coming back like tomorrow and I feel awful she’s coming back to something like this :( #it was just awful (the smell) and I went in to keep the window open overnight but like….you literally cannot sleep when it stinks that bad #and it’s unfair if we have to uproot everything and move just because these actual losers can’t follow the terms on the lease #she said she might have to come bunk in my room if it’s ever bad like that again and I was like yeah absolutely no problem #this was the second time the smell has been so concentrated in her room like goddddd #so not cool #anyway it was a rough night and I called my family on video chat and it helped #but I spent most of the day in a weepy fog because I hate living here and I hate the unpredictability of it all #anyway they might get evicted soooo please god god pleeeeease kick them out!!!! #I hate that it’s gonna bad again :( #it’s been a week since I told my counsellor that I’m doing better 🤪 then it just got bad again what the hell #I need a hug lol

[skyburger]

this came to me in a vision

#fin fin on tei the magic planet #finfin on teo the magic planet #fin fin #finfin #okay so. #i was just gonna make a dumb image of finfin with a burger #cause i just ate a bitchin burger and im thinking about finfin #but then i had like the dumbest fucking idea. justfinfinthings so awesome #(context for those who dont get it. this is a parody of a popular tumblr blog called justgirlythings from like a decade ago now #there were like a million just____things blogs it was like the ''your fave is ___'' or the heritage posts of today #just ____ things & ''fuck yeah ____'' #were like. idk theyre iconic to me because even i knew about them vaguely cause they got reposed offsite aaaallll the time like they were #Everywhere. at least if memory serves #ok i told myself i wouldnt ramble so i could go to sleep but well. oops #directly after i said oh ill make this burger image rq and spent like half an hour on it #SO GOODNIGHT OOMFS... PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET TEO

[blackberryjambaby]

bruh just got woken up by the cops because they've fucking helicopter-d over & seen weed at our neighbour's so they're raiding the place. don't they have better things to do than raid a disabled man's stash

#remy says #i'm not gonna be able to go back to sleep now #i told them i didn't recognise his picture or know his name which is technically true #because that was a very bad picture & we exclusively call him by a nickname #aotearoa #god forbid cops actually do something worthwhile

[queenofmoons]

Does anyone know what you’re supposed to do if your tattoo bandage is leaking

#I’m gonna call them when they open in a few hours #but I was told to keep it on for 4 days #I just wore a long shirt while I slept so it didn’t get everywhere #but my sleep shirt is like. ruined lmao

[eirianerisdar]

No F this I am done

Some people don’t deserve to be parents

I am on yet another day and half shift and this 12 day old baby just came in with her bilirubin sky high and her weight super low (she’s still at birth weight and had lost weight since her fifth day of life) because THE FREAKING SHITS THAT CALL THEMSELVES HER PARENTS had been only breastfeeding her for 10 minutes every 3 hours and topping up with 20ml of formula BY CUP AND NOT BY BOTTLE and she’s so severely dehydrated she’s PEEING ONLY ONCE EVERY TWELVE HOURS

AND GUESS WHAT THE TOILET STAIN OF A FATHER SAID WHEN I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK A 12 DAY OLD BABY CAN DO WITH A CUP OF MILK

He was like Huh? I thought it was ok. The baby didn’t like drinking milk it’s not my fault

THIS IS THEIR SECOND CHILD HOW IS THE FIRST EVEN FREAKING ALIVE

#medicine #paediatrics #residency #pediatrics #how obsessed must you be with breastfeeding to starve your child for it #they thought giving a bottle meant the kid would never return to breastfeeding apparently #I’m so mad #I can’t yell at them in the ward because professionalism but I told the dad off very sternly #the mother’s not here because only one gets to stay with the baby #I’m like you don’t get a freaking choice feed effing formula now #medical happenings #my post #this shift started out ok initially and I even posted a new chapter #but like 16 hours in this happens and I am reminded paediatrics also gets a steady stream of cases #from FREAKING IDIOTS WHO SHOULDN’T HAVE PROCREATED #END YOUR FREAKING LINE #like the worst thing is this isn’t prosecutable because they’ll claim stupidity and the evidence points to that #dunno man I’m just gonna try to sleep it 12:30 am watch this they’re gonna call me im half an hour saying her bilirubin is stratospheric

[ghostb0o]

I had a dream that that quackity sapnap and karl jacobs were in a supergiant empty mall that had dragons and karl jacobs fell down a "vintage escalator" and died

#yo i died wtf #cringe #he was fine though!! He got upstairs eventually and it was basically just like #I was gonna call them the fiances but idk if this was their characters or the real people #i think a mix?? Man i dont know the dream told me they were married so im assuming character but death Should Have Been Permanent #karl jacobs #quackity #sapnap #dsmp #karlnapity #ig #dream #as in sleeping not the green guy im gonna sob #dream i had #unreality #<- just in case??

[cloneboywonder]

#I gave my mommy a bartskull for her car and she hung it up right away :3 #my student cancelled so I didn’t go hang out so I just went right to my moms and we went to Starbucks and to a couple stores #and then we went home and planned costume stuff #and I wanted a hair cut so bad and the only appointment they had was like IMMEDIATELY so we left and then me and my mom both got one #we look so good I love her #and then we went and got lunch w her husband my buddy and then I hung out w Andy and we watched law and order I love barba I love making #like ytp sounds when he comes on screen and andy repeats them I love goofer to goofer interactions #and my mom was tired so she went to sleep while we watched and then when she got up we started costume stuff for real #we have like 3 of the pieces half done but we need to go get a special foot for the sewing machine or something #idk she’s the genius I’m just there #me and Lydia are gonna look so so so insane at the Boston concert I’m so excited #I need to make a bunch more bracelets I want to just give them away again #and it stormed super bad on the way home I was worried my car was going to get struck by lighting and I was scared I was going to crash #and I was crying so then I was more worried I was going to crash but I was fine and also I got gas I hate pouring gas they need ppl that #like pump it for you bc I don’t want to anymore #ough tk mom is waking up so early and I told her to call me so I will also get up early bc I need to most time possible to costume work #bc I have to be on a plane in like 6 days lol WITH THAT COSTUME in my suitcase #ough okay I love personal diary posting my apologies #my posts #byeeee byebye :-)

[kinglypup]

i was about to go to bed and my roommate called me in a panic because they fucked up their car 😟

#im so stressed for them they called me crying #their front fender is bent and the grills out of place and i feel awful #like there is quite literally nothing i can do except be emotional support and im not great at that #and i cant go to sleep now that i dont know when theyll make it home #i told them if they need a ride or just company while they wait (if they need to get the car towed) to call my parents #bc my parents will drop everything #but theyre really beating themself up about it (they hit a pole ?) and i need to reassure them that these things happen and its gonna be ok #im just. aaahhhgg im so stressed #this sucks #if you read all this im sorry im yelling into the voif #mine

[cinewhore]

Mom wants to come visit me for Christmas

#straight up told her i had zero plans of coming home #and then followed that up with ‘it’s nothing personal’ #and i mean it isn’t but the fact that i had to say that troubles me lol #i planned to just be in my apartment #enjoy the city festivities and call it a day #I’m gonna get a nice tree #put some gifts underneath it maybe #bake desserts #watch movies #eat sleep and be merry #i don’t want to deal with her bullshit #and i know that if my mom comes down #my aunt will likely come down as well #don’t get me wrong i love them #both but i just can’t deal with them constantly #i like that i have space now #now that’s what i call blogging

[torahtot]

not 2 be a teenager but my parents are actually so embarrassing. they write their emails in font size Huge, my dad writes his in times new roman ?? they don't check their spelling or grammar and they write like

good evening

i would like a speak with you

when is a good time tomorrow to call

pleaseeeee just write one paragraph u both work in email intensive jobs i know u know how. and then my mom signs everything "respectfully,". which is just. awkward. she's my college guidance counselor not a rabbi. yikes

#also they just dont undesrtand how anything works & that's embarrassing too and rlly frustrating #i spoke to guidance counselor yesterday and made my final decision but then my dad said he watned to speak to her before i enroll #so i was like. ok email her and set up a meeting. and i even told my mom to email or make sure my dad does #then at 11pm before i go to sleep i check in and ofc neither of them emailed so my mom sent an email right then #and this morning i ask my dad what time his meeting is and he goes 'idk what time should i call her? when's she available?' #YOU DONT HAVE HER NUMBER YOU HAVE HER EMAIL HOW ARE YOU GONNA CALL HER. you need. to set up a fucking meeting u cant just call people i #idk why theyre like this like im sure they dont behave like this for work related things #my mom likes to say my dad is like this bc he's israeli but i feel like u could figure things out after living here for over 20 years and #me giving u seven reminders #ugh. ok. it's fine i dont care that i have to take care of everything and do it all on my own bc they never have a clue it's ok #nachi speaks

[tariah23]

Also, those birds in the wall are so loud tonight lol.

#whoever else moves into this house after us is gonna be pissed #our landlord is ass and acted like it wasn’t a big deal when we first told them about this issue #I remember even showing her and the handyman she always sends out who’s just some guy she pays to do work whenever we call because she’s too #cheap to call actual professionals ☠️………….. then gets mad when she has to send the handyman out to the house multiple times just because he #didn’t know what he was doing and she wasted her money instead of ya know sending out a professional what a Buffoon #anyway I showed them the hole and when we brought it up again she acted like we never told her lmfao #now the birds are loud as shit and no one is gonna want to move into this house like that #there’s still huge opening outside of our house where the birds can fly into lmfao #they were too lazy to even patch the hole up and she sent the handyman to clear out the bird mite infestation (she gave him the wrong shit #that you use for like ants and stuff ☠️… so of course the mites were never Removed #) #rambling #they were also supposed to paint our kitchen last summer but ghosted us… #then the landlord lied about sending the handyman out to paint and said that he was knocking on our door for 15 minutes which was obviously #a lie because the handyman is a chill dude and he’s usually ready to leave after knocking once and as soon as we open the door he’s always #like ‘I was about to leave! I thought y’all was sleep-‘ even know this negro would ring the bell like once and we’d open the door almost #immediately lmfao like so I knew the landlord was lying about him standing outside our house knocking for 15 min like he’d be ready to leave #in 20 seconds ☠️ #then I remember my mom mentioning her taking her time trying to repair stuff around the house etc and the landlord pulled a “’I have a #feeling you don’t think that I’m doing my best 🥺… I gave you your security back-‘ #and that sounded like a threat to me like do you want us to move lol? very weird just because my mom was telling her that she basically #doesn’t do her job in a nice way #she was probably still mad that she had to give me some money as payback because of the mites getting into my hair that I had just gotten #done #because it was their fault that the mites problem even got to the point that it did lol like I don’t care Idk if you’re upset #should’ve fixed the hole when we first told you about it #we should report her to the city after we move tbh fuck landlords #this was the first house that I’d ever lived in and it’s a decent size too but my fam and I are tired of this place like our landlord sucks #and she gets an attitude whenever we call them about a problem in the house like isn’t it your job to repair shit in the first place or #should we call the city on you 😐? I have a feeling that she wouldn’t like that lol

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think #nyarla dni #(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only) #listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is #his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b #wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha #she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives #in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh #GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK. #it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT. #and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters #anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed #he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him #hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry #dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired) #anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed #(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he #insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex #half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he #needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw #her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh #was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY #look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean. #but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i #you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never #let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH #and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her #and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM #look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it #was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave