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#I started reading these because i was interested in the guardians after the 3rd film and didnt wanna interact with the mcu...
hiveswap · 10 months
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OUGH. theyre gonna really end a superhero comic with a tolstoy quote thematically accurate enough to kill on impact.
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davethot · 4 years
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ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES RANKED... WHY DID WE DO THIS
Please............. for the love of god view this list. Help us. We worked so fucking hard... and for what?
My roommate/best friend and I ( @kar-queen ) decided to watch ALL 36 BARBIE MOVIES and then rank them from worst to best. This adventure was inspired by the YouTube video by caitlovesdisney where she also ranked every single Barbie movie. However, we wanted to do our own list since some of her choices didn’t reflect what we thought. Her list was still so awesome and I respect anyone who decides to watch all these Barbie movies. We did this because of sheer curiosity and for the sake of very scientific research. 
We thought it would be fun at first. We really did. And it was? Kind of? Just, Jesus Christ. We can no longer see pink. I have night terrors about Barbie’s ugly ass animal friends. It truly was An Experience and has left us feeling dazed and like we never want to rank things ever again. We weren’t planning on posting a written out ranking of these movies anywhere (since we were just doing it for fun between us) but we wanted some physical evidence of our labor since this whole experience took 50 years off our lives. 
Under READMORE we will rank the 36 Barbie movies from WORST TO BEST (36 to 1). HOWEVER, THERE’S A TWIST. We are ALSO ranking them based on how GAY they were (and trust me, it yielded more results than you would originally think). That way we could both get through these movies by spicing things up a little bit. Hit readmore if you’re not a coward.
DISCLAIMER: Barbie is a staple for kids and overall teaches them that anyone (though more specifically girls/women) can do/be anything, which is extremely admirable. We have no issues with Barbie as a role model for kids and this list is all in good fun. However, we are going to point out things that either frustrated us or seemed downright harmful for kids to watch and take after. Clearly Mattel/Barbie has taken great and necessary steps to be more inclusive and progressive, especially in recent years compared to their older movies. 
ANOTHER MILD DISCLAIMER: In some of these movies Barbie’s character is not named Barbie, but we’re just going to call every main girl Barbie to keep things simple and easy. Just a warning. 
ANOTHER ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: This is going to be long since there are 36 movies. Even if you read all of this you will only feel a fraction of our pain. 
WITH THAT, LET’S START WITH SOME HOT GARBAGE. LET’S GO GAMERS. 
36. BARBIE IN PRINCESS POWER (2015)
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Starting out with at the fucking bottom lads. My roommate and I were foaming at the fucking mouth watching this movie. It’s so hard to explain why this one pissed us off so much because it was nearly every single goddamn aspect of it. Here’s some bullet points to make this go by quickly and painlessly. 
- She’s a princess but then she ALSO gets super powers??? So she’s already extremely privileged, rich, and lives a comfortable lifestyle, but then she gets powers when A MAGICAL FAIRY BUTTERFLY KISSES HER CHEEK? LIKE LITERALLY JUST KISSES HER CHEEK AND BOOM SHE HAS POWERS. 
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- Her powers are really fucking boring. All she has is super strength and she can fly. 
- She treats her best friends/side kicks like shit??? These poor girls (neither rich nor princesses) dote on this fucking girl and do everything for her behind the scenes while she sucks at being a super hero. It’s really infuriating. 
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- There’s a side plot where she lets the fame get to her head. So, she starts snapping at everyone around her and just being overall a total bitch? Also her sister gets powers too and they like, fight over this said attention. Stupid. 
- At the end of the movie she apologizes to her sister, but never to her friends or the other people she walked all over? Absolutely infuriating. We don’t know how else to describe this film. Barbie was so rude and unaware of the kind of privilege she had and acted spoiled the entire time, which is why it’s ranked at the complete bottom. 
- Also there was a romantic interest, I think????? He was a reporter? Don’t remember his name. Doesn’t matter. They didn’t get together. Also the fashion and colors in this movie are horrendous. Like c’mon guys. 
Oh also how could we forget. GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. So aggressively heterosexual.
Also: We know that Barbie is usually a princess in all of these movies and usually we don’t really care, but this one was especially bad when it came to her acting so fucking privileged. I swear we’re not insane this one was just so bad when it came to that. 
35. BARBIE AND THE SECRET DOOR (2014)
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This one isn’t going to be as long or intense as Princess Power (which literally had so much wrong with it that we barely covered any of it). This one was just so offensively ugly. And boring. And stupid. I hated it so much. 
This is also another one where she’s a princess and she whines about how her life is so hard? 
In the beginning, she talks about how all she does is lay around all day and read books, and then later sings a song about how she wishes she could lay around all day and read books? Like, we stan a bookworm queen, but she acts so ungrateful for her lifestyles and then never mentions liking to read again when the main adventure of the movie starts. Just overall dumb and boring. 
Also this is so fucking ugly. Did we mention that this movie is ugly?
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I don’t know who approved of these backgrounds and colors but they’re just so hideous like it literally gives me a headache. 
GAYNESS RANK: Pretty heterosexual. Barbie doesn’t have a love interest which is kind of nice and the two girls she meets are cute friends, but not enough to be noteworthy when it comes to gay. 
34. BARBIE A PERFECT CHRISTMAS (2011)
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For being centered around Christmas, this didn’t feel like a Christmas movie at all. It tried to follow the typical plot of “We had a great Christmas planned but then oh no! So many things went wrong! But in the end all that matters is that you’re with your family and that’s what Christmas is all about :)” but they somehow managed to fuck that up? This movie is so mean? Barbie’s sisters are awful to each other, and lash out multiple times, especially at the youngest sister. Even if they tried to make up at the end the whole film felt very mean-spirited for a Christmas movie. 
The message about family was lost when they were more concerned with streaming a band performance rather than spending time with each other. It just was not great overall and left a very sour taste in our mouths. Would not recommend to show a kid around Christmas. 
GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all. Pretty heterosexual. Skipper (the brunette) kind of had this weird thing with her girl friend that lived in New York but it didn’t really go anywhere. Her friend was never shown on screen, anyway. 
Also the movies really fucking ugly. We’re not even going to mention the horrendous pink Christmas trees. You’re welcome. 
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33. BARBIE MAGIC OF THE RAINBOW (2007) (also known as Fairytopia 3)
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Being the 3rd movie in the Fairytopia series, it’s by far the worst. The portrayal of Barbie/the main character was very obnoxious and careless. She was automatically good at everything she did on the first try and it was honestly so unrealistic and didn’t teach a great message at all. 
It also just, like, had these fairies attend school? To strengthen their powers, I guess? It wasn’t really explained. Barbie was very mean to a another fairy and even if they made up at the end it didn��t feel genuine. I think they were just trying to milk this Fairytopia series for everything it was worth and I’m glad it stopped after this one. 
Her bf in this one wasn’t bad, though, he was pretty sweet. He could talk to animals which was charming. 
GAYNESS RANK: Mid-tier. Even though she fought with the one fairy they had a pretty intense rivalry thing going on, which was pretty gay. Even though she had a bf they kind of barely interacted since Barbie was so engrossed with the other fairy. A few gay points I guess. Though those few gay points get taken away when her annoying fluff ball Bibble gets an ugly fluff ball girlfriend. Stupid.
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32. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE (2010)
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Okay, like... I barely watched this one so my roommate took the fall. So, I’m going to quote them for this: “This one was just written badly, objectively. The pacing was horrendous. The story was very contrived. *long pause*....... That’s all.” 
Yeah I don’t have much to say about this one either. I remember Barbie being bitchy towards her friends and her guardian. When a magic dolphin asks her to help she’s just like “no, fuck you” for literally no reason at all? She surfs but it’s not even that cool, so... wasted potential.
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GAYNESS RANK: There’s not nothing? Some potential. Her surfing buddies hang around and she hangs out with her mermaid friends as well. Other than that, though... :( (I promise there will be Barbie movies that are gay just wait) 
31. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PUPPY CHASE (2016)
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This movie... is so strange. We hated it so much, but it was also kind of ironically hilarious??? This is the second movie in the “Barbie and her Sisters + Puppies” series (which are terrible) but this one was special in how awful it was. 
Barbie is SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE SISTER. So they go on vacation to some tropical island and Barbie’s youngest sister has a dance recital to practice for, but Barbie just straight up tells her to not practice?? LIKE??? BARBIE?!
They also end up fucking deserted on this island. Everything you can think of goes wrong for them. It’s honestly incredible. At one point they’re stranded outside in the rain only eating granola bars by a fire. Barbie tries to cheer them up by playing this STUPID game called “imagine if” where they just name things that they wish would happen??? 
Oh and at the end Barbies sister ends up winning her dance recital when her whole family and an entire entourage of animals dance with her on stage. Cause, like, yeah, that’s totally fucking fair to the other contestants. 
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GAYNESS RANK: All of these Puppy movies are absolutely not gay at all bc it’s literally just Barbie and her sisters with some puppies. Don’t expect too much.  
30. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN THE GREAT PUPPY ADVENTURE (2015)
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This is the first movie in the Sisters + Puppies series and it’s pretty much just as bad as the other one, but at least Puppy Chase was funny. This one is really boring. Also forgot to mention that the puppies talk. It’s very annoying and absolutely ruins the movies. 
This movie on the surface kind of has a charming premise where they all go on vacation to the countryside/the midwest and experience a lot of small town things, and yet it doesn’t feel very genuine? As someone from the midwest I can confirm. 
Barbie and her sisters go on this treasure hunt that apparently their grandfather died trying to solve, and yet they manage to solve it within a couple days? caitlovesdisney explains it pretty well in her video if you wanna hear more about Puppy Adventure. I know you’re just dying to know more about Puppy Adventure. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie at one point talks to another woman who isn’t one of her sisters. Super exciting stuff. 
29. BARBIE THE PRINCESS AND THE POPSTAR (2012) 
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Okaaaaay, like....... this one made us really. really. mad. 
So we’ve already mentioned how Barbie acts super privileged in some of these movies, but this is the one that made us notice it. The basic premise is that there’s a princess (Barbie) and a popstar (Who Cares) and they want to switch lives. 
But the thing is they already live amazing lives? So the other Barbie film that this one borrows from (The Princess and the Pauper) loses its meaning and drama? Instead of a rich girl and poor girl trading lives, it’s just two rich girls switching lives. 
ALSO! There’s this side plot where, within the castle, they have this tree that can GROW DIAMONDS? AND THAT’S THE SOURCE OF THE KINGDOM’S WEALTH? AND YET, LATER IN THE MOVIE, THERE ARE POOR PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIAMOND TREE FOR?????
The only saving grace for this movie was that Barbie and the popstar were extremely gay. Like, having posters and pictures of each other in their rooms, gazing at each other dreamily from balconies, and subtly being very touchy-feely every time they’re together in person. That’s pretty much the only reason why it’s a bit higher than some of the others. 
GAYNESS RANK: One of the gayest ones. There are so many side glances and yearning. Shoulder touches and all that. We totally shipped these two by the end. In a different universe, in a better movie... these two could have been super cute together. 
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28. BARBIE THE PEARL PRINCESS (2014)
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Not much to say about this one. I hated it a lot more than my roommate did and I’m the one typing this all out sooooo I get the final say. I hate this movie so much. Barbie, once again, acted really privileged and was super unlikable. At one point she gets a job at a hair salon, which is kinda nice I guess? But then she’s automatically good at it without even trying? So... fuck off. 
Also there’s a seahorse with hair and it looked so ugly that I constantly wanted to cry. Please free me from the sleep paralysis demons that are the Barbie animal sidekicks. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Nothing to report. The couple girls Barbie hangs out with were barely in the movie so there were no vibes. Sad. 
27. BARBIE IN ROCK N ROYALS (2015)
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We’re getting to the mid-tier Barbie movies that we don’t have much to say about. My roommate and I just found the concept of this one to be really dumb? 
The outfits were very ugly and the singers were really bad. But there was a main character who was a black girl, which was really nice to see! They also went a little more punk than the typical frilly stuff which was nice to see. Not the worst but still ranked pretty low cause of the dumb premise and just being pretty boring overall. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This one was decently gay, pretty mid-tier. Barbie had a great potential romance with the other main girl and the way they interacted was very sweet and cute. They both had male love interests but nothing really came of it which is kinda funny. Not too much going on but enough to get a mention. 
26. BARBIE PRINCESS CHARM SCHOOL (2011)
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This was SO FRUSTRATING because it started out STRONG, but then crashed and burned really quickly. 
The movie starts out with Barbie working her ass off at a little diner to make ends meet at home. We see how her guardian can’t work and that she has a little sister and a home to support. It was really charming to see Barbie hustling to make money and felt so much more down-to-Earth than a lot of the other Barbie movies where she’s a princess and has everything she wants. 
Long story short, she wins this drawing to be enrolled in this Princess Charm School where you can learn to be royalty. In the end she finds out that she was the lost princess all along and then everything that was mentioned at the beginning is completely abandoned once this is found out. Just... super disappointing how a relatable Barbie depiction ends up being a princess all along :/
Also the fashion in this movie was super disappointing. They somehow managed to make preppy school girl outfits look bad. Sad. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This one’s pretty much on the same level as Rock n Royals. There was some potential with Barbie and her friends but not much else. Next. 
25. BARBIE IN A MERMAID TALE 2 (2012)
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Absolutely nothing to report. There’s some more surfing action in this one compared to the first one which is really nice. 
Imma be real with u chief... I barely remember what happens. She meets an Australian girl? She gets tricked by a French fish into transforming into a mermaid? Villain from the first movie comes back... Australian girl gets caught in a whirlpool... They save the day. 
There’s a pretty shitty part where the Australian girl wins the surfing competition but Barbie still somehow gets all the reporters’ attention and gets a sponsorship. It was sad and tbh we didn’t like that part. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Gayer than most. Her and this girl have a rivalry which is pretty cute. They playfully tease each other while surfing all the time and tbh I could totally ship it. The Australian girl’s pretty spunky which is refreshing. Too bad her Australian accent was so obviously fake it was distracting. 
24. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA (2005)
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This one gets the award for the most boring Barbie movie. We both could not even try to bring ourselves to pay attention to this one, even if my roommate was nostalgic for it. Bibble was a highlight just cause we made fun of him the whole time but it was a short-lived high. That’s all. Here’s a creepy picture we found of the main character.
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie doesn’t have a love interest at all, which is like, a point... She hangs out with the blue fairy and they’re kinda cute. Not much else, though. 
23. BARBIE FAIRYTOPIA: MERMAIDIA (2006)
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My roommate is really nostalgic for this one since they grew up with it, and yet they found it hard to pay attention at all. As did I. It was pretty boring. About a week went by after we watched this one and my roommate was trying to talk about it but I literally did not remember watching it until they showed me a picture of the ugly ass snail with huge lips and it jump scared me. You had to be there I guess. 
They were mermaids... Bibble was there... typical Barbie shit. This image pretty much perfectly describes how enthralling it was to watch this. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie and the blue mermaid are a little gay. The love interest was pretty funny and cute. He did have a thing for the blue mermaid so a couple gay points get deducted. 
22. BARBIE THE 12 DANCING PRINCESSES (2006) 
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We know this one’s a classic, but we just found it to be very boring? I know this seems like a trend but we swear that we didn’t think all the Barbie movies are boring, it’s just the middle of the list. The dancing in this one was kind of nice and there was an interesting subplot where this lady was slowly poisoning their dad. 
The only thing that seemed silly was when they would stow away to the magical island... Like, why? The lady banned dancing but they could have just danced in their rooms. No one ever went in to check on them or they would have noticed they were gone anyway. So what the hell. 
Also Barbie and all of her other sisters looked exactly the same and it was hard to tell them apart. The love interest was pretty cute, though. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Nothing, absolutely zippo. They’re all sisters and she had a nice romance with the guy so. 
21. BARBIE AND THE DIAMOND CASTLE (2008)
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Gonna get this out of the way: There is basically nothing to report when it comes to the plot of this movie. Evil force upon the land. A villain. Animal sidekicks. Love interest/Ken who’s barely in the movie. Barbie defeats the evil and gets a new dress. THE END. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT.
THIS MOVIE... IS SO GAY?
This was at the top of our gay Barbie list literally the entire time (until it was dethroned, but we’ll get to that later). This story LITERALLY revolves around Barbie and her “friend” who: live together in the same house, write songs together, dream about living in a mansion together, garden together, sing while gardening together... LIKE?? Holy shit, lesbian goals. 
At one point in the film they find two heart shaped rocks in the river and make them into necklaces, which they both wear to solidify their “friendship”. We are not making this up. This entire movie was comprised of us looking incredulously at each other every time they stared longingly at one another or mentioned how much they need each other. Evidence:
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GAYNESS RANKING: Not gonna say it again. Top-tier gay. However, amazingly, not the gayest. We’ll get into that later. Regardless, we stan two beautiful lesbians living in the woods together where all they do is wear heart-shaped necklaces and sing songs about being rich one day. Amazing.
20. THUMBELINA (2009)
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A Barbie movie with an environmental message, which is fine, I guess... Overall we just kinda found this movie annoying, but still a little bit better than other ones that were either insulting or just downright boring. Ferngully for babies? 
I... Wish I could say more. I’m sorry. It’s fine if you were going to show it to a kid, I guess. We also thought this one was kinda ugly as well. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There are the two friends and we got no vibes. Absolutely zippo. Next. 
19. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND HER BUTTERFLY FAIRY FRIENDS (2008)
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Another one where we just don’t have much to say? We’re now entering the “fine” category. I wouldn’t be really mad if someone made me rewatch it, but I wouldn’t be happy with it either. 
Barbie is also a bookworm in this one, but it’s done a lot better than Secret Door. It’s kind of nice how she’s considered an outcast in this one and has to work through that. Her love interest (Carlos, we remembered his name!) was funny and brought life to the movie. Overall pretty okay!
The bunny sidekick was kind of ugly, though. Can’t win in every category.
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GAYNESS RANK: Has some promising potential, but doesn’t really deliver. Disappointing but not awful. 
18. BARBIE MARIPOSA AND THE FAIRY PRINCESS (2013)
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This one is a lot better than the first! Surprisingly, this movie deals racism in a way that is easily digestible for children while also not making light of the issue. It’s not perfect, but we found it to do its job pretty well. 
It centers around Barbie meeting a princess (Barbie isn’t a princess for once, yay!) and while the two want to be friends, the princess is a crystal wing fairy and Barbie is a butterfly wing fairy, so the princesses father objects to them being friends. 
Also great time to mention that this was the second gayest Barbie movie for many many many reasons. And trust us, topping Diamond Castle is no easy feat. 
First of all, there are SEVERAL scenes where the crystal fairy princess is completely disinterested in what’s going on but, as soon as Barbie walks in, she gets really excited and gives her her full attention. It’s EXTREMELY cute. 
Second, there’s a Beauty and the Beast esque scene where the crystal fairy gives Barbie an entire library of books, since she remembers that she loves books. They also proceed to bond over what kind of books they like and watching them geek out over that is adorable. 
Third, they sneak off to a cave so that they can hang out without the crystal fairy’s father (the king) finding them. They then go to skip rocks on a lake and the ripples make rainbows. They also dance together at a ball, and there is just so much lingering eye contact and small touches. They’re cute and we ship. 
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GAYNESS RANK: ALMOST top of the list. SUPER close. Not quite there, though. We weren’t expecting this one to be as gay as it was since it was a sequel movie, but thank god it was. 
17. BARBIE VIDEO GAME HERO (2017)
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This... is a weird one? The basic plot is that Barbie is a programmer who makes video games. She gets sucked into a video game and they need her help to rid the game of viruses. We’re really conflicted about this movie so this will benefit from some good ol fashioned bullet points. 
- It’s really cool that Barbie’s a programmer and likes to play video games, and she’s not a princess! It was very nice and modern of them to include a story like this. Very refreshing after 30 or so Barbie movies that revolve around her being a princess.
- There’s a lot of side characters who join Barbie on her quest, but none of them are interesting or memorable...
- The art style changes between “levels”, and while a cute idea, they don’t take advantage of it enough! There are only three art style changes in the whole movie, and two out of the three are really ugly. 
- There is so much Just Dance product placement in this movie. It’s cringe. 
- The plot of this movie literally... makes no sense? They say that once Barbie wins the level, the viruses attacking that said level will be destroyed, but throughout the movie every time she wins they still don’t stop??? So that’s why she had to have a bunch of characters follow her around so they wouldn’t get attacked by viruses? SO WHAT IS SHE WINNING THE LEVELS FOR?
- This movie was probably the most baby out of all of them. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it was kind of a shock after we were watching all the other Barbie films, which are more targeted towards children to tweens. This one felt like it was for toddlers. 
- Overall this movie wasn’t bad, just very strange. Would maybe recommend? Fine for your kid to watch if they want something casual and fun that involves a girl gamer. Gamers rise up. 
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GAYNESS RANK: No gay vibes at all, which is not a total epic gamer moment. Probs because this movie was very very baby so the vibes were nonexistent. Too bad since Barbie met up with a lot of cute girls. Gaymer oppression never ends :(. Press F.
16. BARBIE DOLPHIN MAGIC (2017)
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We did it lads. We found The Gayest Barbie Movie that has Ever Existed.
Before we get to that, though, I hate to admit that this is one of the Barbie’s Sisters + Puppies movies, but it’s kind of hilarious because in this one they completely remove the puppies talking. I guess someone smartened up and realized that that was stupid and dumb. Thank god for them because it made the movie infinitely better. 
Plot is simple: Barbie and her sisters are on vacation and while they’re visiting the most boring man on Earth (Ken), an emerald dolphin gets trapped by an evil marine biologist who wants to sell the dolphin for money. Then a mermaid named Isla (yes we remember her name because she’s incredible) goes to save the dolphin with the help of Barbie (with minimal contributions from the others). 
I know we raved about how Fairy Princess was very gay, but just......... wow......... The difference between this and fairy princess is that Dolphin Magic literally has an entire scene dedicated to Barbie and Isla swimming together very closely with ethereal music, littered with cute giggling, lingering shoulder touches, and extended eye contact. Oh, also can’t forget the hand holding.
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Don’t forget about the necklaces they give each other so that they can stay connected with each other no matter where they are in the world. There’s even a scene at the end where Isla mentions how Barbie kept trying to contact her multiple times off-screen, only validating Barbies insane girl crush on Isla. 
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This may or may not be photoshopped but tbh I don’t give a damn. 
GAYNESS RANK: The gayest Barbie movie. These two were so adorable throughout the entire movie and we couldn’t even get into everything that made it so charming. There were many scenes where Isla was learning how to act like a human that were so sweet and endearing. Great Barbie movie if you’re looking for something sweet with some obvious lesbians. Go team. 
15. BARBIE NUTCRACKER (2001)
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We had a lot to say about Dolphin Magic since it was gay, but now we’re getting back into the “it’s fine” category with Nutcracker. 
This movie is sweet and it’s pretty hard to fuck up a Nutcracker adaptation. There wasn’t a ton of ballet which was a little disappointing? They also didn’t play the whole soundtrack and stuck a lot of the good songs right at the end, which was odd. Our only real complaint was it kind of wasted its potential and it was slightly boring. 
Other than that, it’s a sweet Christmas movie if anyone really likes Barbie and the Nutcracker. My roommate grew up on the Nutcracker so regardless it can be pretty nostalgic for some. 
Also, Barbie is beautiful in this movie. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There literally is not another female for Barbie to interact with in this movie. There were a couple guys who could have possibly given off vibes but we felt nothing so. 
14. BARBIE A FASHION FAIRYTALE (2010)
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If there’s anything to say about this one, it’s definitely... interesting. 
So in this universe, Barbie is an actress, and she plays herself in a bunch of pre-existing Barbie movies (many of which that have already been mentioned on this list). It’s extremely meta and a little confusing???
Barbie basically gets fired from her job, Ken dumps her, and she goes to find herself in Paris with her fashion designer aunt. The most interesting thing we can really say about this movie is describing the beginning, because that was the best part by far. 
It’s also revealed that Ken did not actually dump her, so there’s a really charming side plot where Ken travels all the way from LA to Paris to sort it all out in person through a spontaneous act of romance. 
Ken ABSOLUTELY makes this movie. We quote him a lot when we’re just hanging out in the apartment. He is so cute and funny and loves Barbie so much, it’s adorable. Absolutely worth the watch to see a true himbo in action. 
Also, Ken and Barbie kiss at the end and we’re p sure this is the only movie where Barbie actually kisses any of her love interests. Fuck yeah. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There’s no gayness, but that’s okay, because the romance between Barbie and Ken is adorable. I never want anything to get between these two :’)
13. BARBIE IN A CHRISTMAS CAROL (2008)
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Not much more to say about this one other than it’s a Christmas Carol but with Barbie. It was interesting to see Barbie in a “Scrooge” role where she has to relearn how to be caring and kind. It was pretty down to Earth and felt very Christmas-y and festive. 
There was a very sweet plot of Barbie reconnecting with a girl she used to sing with as they were growing up. It was also interesting to see that while Barbie was growing up, her family would force her to practice singing rather than letting her go outside and live a normal life. This made Barbie feel a little more down-to-Earth. 
Sorry, we don’t really know what else to say. It’s fine. The cat is very ugly, though. 
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GAYNESS RANK: There’s a scene at the end, after Barbie reconnects with her friend, where she’s holding her hands and giggling a lot. It was really cute to see them be friends and to be excited about the holidays together. A couple gay points were deducted since her friend did have a love interest, though.
12. BARBIE AND THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2009)
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Not gonna lie, this one was a little... disappointing? We were really excited for this one since it’s a lot of people’s favorite, and the concept of Barbie being a musketeer (and not a princess :)) is exciting and fresh. 
The beginning of this movie was great!! Seeing Barbie practicing in the barn with her animals was just really sweet. She was wearing a cute outfit with pants a vest and the HAT. 
Though, as it went on, it started to drop off for us. The reveal of the musketeers at the end was really underwhelming, and we thought the outfits were a let down compared to Barbie’s earlier outfit in the movie. 
Other than those things, this movie was fun!! Watching all the girls be badass and learn how to fight with their unique weapons was awesome. Watching them team up was really satisfying. The prince guy was also pretty sweet. We would recommend watching this, esp if you remember it being your favorite.
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GAYNESS RANK: Has a lot of gay energy!! There are a few scenes where people are outwardly sexist towards her and yet she strives to prove them wrong. When she meets the other girls, they are coached by this old lady who can kick ass. Even though it could have been gayer it was a good time.
11. BARBIE A FAIRY SECRET (2011)
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Some people may be mad that we put this above Three Musketeers... whoops. 
Anyway this movie solely exists to give us more Amazing Ken content. This movie takes place in the same universe as Fashion Fairy Tale, so it’s the same Barbie and Ken from that movie. 
Our only complaint is that they took the domestic feel of Fashion Fairy Tale and turned it into something that had so much unnecessary magic?? Though at the same time we got A Vibe from this movie that the creators just wanted to make something silly, and it worked.
Ken is HILARIOUS in this movie, even better than Fashion Fairy Tale. Even though everyone turns into a fairy, the wings that they give Ken are small and pink and he can barely fly with them. It’s just so... funny? He also... mock-fights this other buff fairy guy?? Idk this movie is really hard to explain, sorry. We would definitely recommend this even if just for Ken. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Ken is a himbo so he automatically attracts the lesbian crowd. There’s also a plot with Barbie where she makes up with this girl who had been mean to her for the longest time, but it’s done in a way that just feels... really gay? Or at least the girl is kinda gay and Barbie doesn’t exactly realize (since she’s in a committed relationship with Ken). This movie feels like it would be more appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself.
10. BARBIE AS THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (2004)
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A lot of people are probably going to be surprised that this isn’t in our top 5, but we want to stress that this movie is good!! These top 10 Barbie movies are getting into the territory where we would absolutely recommend them because they are cute and fun, and this is exactly that!
The songs in this movie are great! However, we do have to be a little bitter towards it since this started the trend of musical Barbie movies, and many of them are shitty and bad compared to this. 
The villain of this movie....... *chefs kiss* We also quote him constantly. 
This is an example of a Barbie movie where she’s a princess but it’s very endearing and done well. She rarely comes off as spoiled. She’s very smart and brave, and we see this through her actions rather than the movie just obnoxiously telling us that she is. Also the romance between the pauper and the king was very sweet. 
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GAYNESS RANK: While this was a great set-up to be gay, it doesn’t follow through. We’re not bitter about it, though, since their love interests were very sweet. Pretty straight of them to have their cats fall in love, though :/
9. BARBIE AS THE ISLAND PRINCESS (2007)
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When we first watched this one, we thought it was extremely boring and we were going to put it kind of low, but the more we thought about it we realized that it really did have a great plot.
They brought Barbie to civilization from her deserted island and people start getting sick, so they’re blaming Barbie for bringing diseases when in reality it’s the villain using rats to poison people’s food. Also, it was so charming and interesting to see Barbie’s love interest want to be an adventurer, and he had so much more personality than a lot of other Barbie Princes. While he’s not on Ken’s level, he was so sweet. 
All in all this one definitely had one of the tightest plots with great characters that really endears you to them. It’s a little slow but def worth the watch.
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GAYNESS RANK: One of the least gay ones... Not mad though, the love interests were great. The peacock was kinda gay so... love wins. 
8. BARBIE OF SWAN LAKE (2003)
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People will ALSO be surprised that this one is so low compared to other people’s Barbie movie lists. Please, trust us, we’re not crazy, it’s just... when you’ve watched 30+ other Barbie movies the initial charm of this kind of wears off. We both are very nostalgic for this movie and yet that couldn’t even bump it into the top 5. 
A couple things we can praise: The toys were AMAZING, Barbie’s dress is BEAUTIFUL and ICONIC, the dancing and music were very gorgeous. The dancing in this movie was mocapped from real ballet dancers, so, very nice.
But... the forest animals were kind of annoying? Their outfits were kind of cute but they were still annoying? The villain’s daughter’s VOICE was just... HORRENDOUS. With the villain in Princess and the Pauper, the guy’s voice was comical but it didn’t completely take you out of the movie. This chick, however, was being so over dramatic that it wasn’t even ironically funny, it was very cringey... Just bad voice acting all around. 
Also this movie was a lot more boring than we remember. 
REGARDLESS OF ALL OF THAT, this is a CLASSIC Barbie movie and we would still recommend checking it out at least once (and rewatching if you haven’t seen it since you were a kid). 
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GAYNESS RANK: Nothing gay to report. Next.
7. BARBIE IN THE PINK SHOES (2013)
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Another... strange one. 
So Barbie is a ballet dancer about to do a performance and when her shoes break down, she goes into a store room and finds a pair of pink ballet shoes. When she puts them on, she and her friend are teleported into this alternate dimension??? Where all ballets ever are happening at the same time??? And she’s the main lead for all of them?? At once?? And there’s this ice queen villain who controls people by making them dance???????
This was the first Barbie movie we watched (we put them all in a wheel and let that decide our fate) and it sure did set the tone. 
Plot doesn’t matter though, we need to talk about... Them. Only Pink Shoes fans will understand. 
So, there are these two guys... and they’re just like... really gay??? They inspired us to apply a gay ranking to these Barbie movies, if that tells you anything. One in a prince and the other is a commoner/hunter. There are so many scenes where it cuts away from Barbie to focus on these two playfully bantering with each other (enemies to lovers 100k slowburn)? The hunter guy teaches the other how to shoot a bow and arrow by touching him and guiding him into the right position? There’s also a scene where they meet back up with Barbie, but they only have two horses, so instead of Barbie riding with one of them they ride with each other and give her her own horse??? Respect women juice...
They also show up at the end just... together? (in real life not in the... Pink Shoes dimension) and it’s not explained what they’re doing together or even what their relationship is (friendship or otherwise). It truly was bizarre. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This was on top for quite awhile since it was the first movie we watched. Unfortunately de-throned by Diamond Castle when we got around to it, but we still STAN these himbos. 
6. BARBIE AND HER SISTERS IN A PONY TALE (2013)
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I... okay hear us out...
This movie is bad. Like, objectively it’s very very bad. It’s a baby movie, a Barbie and her sisters movie, it’s a horse girl movie, on top of everything... and yet... 
We probably had the most fun watching this one, like, we were glued to the fucking screen. We cried laughing multiple times because it was just so charmingly bad. 
Plot isn’t important, since my roommate and I keep forgetting what the real plot is. We only care about the British boys from the rivaling stable and how they just breeze in and out and run away on their horses laughing like frenchmen... even though they’re British. One of them uncannily resembles Malfoy from hp and is a sidekick to the main guy, it’s a little weird. 
There are also these two British kids and the girl is super weird? Like weird girl representation for real. Also there’s this Phillipe guy who was so fucking funny to listen to. Here’s Phillipe, you’re welcome.
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Fuck you I’m not resizing the image. 
Oh also Barbie finds a magic horse with a pink mane. Phillipe wants to like, kill her for it, I guess. Yeah. 
GAYNESS RANK: While super fucking funny, not a lot of gay. It makes up for it with the mere presence of Phillipe. 
5. BARBIE AND THE MAGIC OF PEGASUS (2005)
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This and the next entry are both tied for 4th place since it was extremely hard to choose between the two. We were both nostalgic for this and the next entry, but we were also really excited to find out that both of these are great movies!
So me personally, I was a horse girl growing up, and I ADORED this movie. I didn’t think it would be so good upon rewatch, but it actually was! The plot was pretty tight, the villain was fun, it felt like a genuine fairytale, the characters were cute and fun, and Barbie was intelligent and resourceful! 
Check this one out if you haven’t seen it, but now we’re going to talk about one of the best aspects of this movie, which is Barbie’s love interest. 
Unlike every single other Barbie bf, the love interest in this one (named Aiden) was literally almost a better character than Barbie herself. For the first time EVER they decided to give a Barbie love interest a BACKSTORY. And, like, a GOOD backstory. It made him feel like a real person and his story pulled at your heartstrings. 
Also, him and Barbie do not automatically get along, and for a decent amount of time they have witty banter with one another. It really lets their characters shine through the movie and was SO refreshing. 
We could rave about Aiden all day, but you guys should just go watch it for yourself, it really is worth it!
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GAYNESS RANK: Not gay at all, but fine since the romance is so great. Moving on!
4. BARBIE AS RAPUNZEL (2002)
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This movie is just... good. And not even good for a Barbie movie, it’s just a well-written movie overall! The plot was tight and remained interesting without being too complicated, either. Barbie’s animals were also pretty charming (even if the rabbit is ass ugly, but it’s 2002, they get a pass) and likable compared to other Barbie sidekicks. The dragon even has a little arc of her own??? Hell yeah. 
Don’t really have to explain the plot, it’s Rapunzel. The only difference is that she has a magical paintbrush that can teleport her to places that she paints, which helps the story progress. 
It also really did feel like Barbie was in mortal danger, which is so unlike every other Barbie movie. I was really glad to have grown up with this movie being my first exposure to Rapunzel, since I believe it’s a great introduction to her (and the toys were awesome, lol). This was another movie where Barbie being a princess was really great and charming since it felt earned since she went through hard times. 
Okay, like, we literally cannot go any further without mentioning something, stay with us...
In the movie, there’s, like, this weasel/ferret thing that belongs to the villain. He’s basically an animal villain, or whatever. 
I don’t really know how else to say this other than there’s this scene where he asks the villain to give him the rabbit and he outright just... moans????? The voice actor just... lets it out. It literally sounds like he’s getting a hand job in the recording booth in the middle of the line and just lets it all out and they kept that shit in, and then animated it???? 
We really wish we could include a video exclusively of that scene, but the best we can do is just link the video and give you a time stamp (37:49). PLEASE watch it. We have been quoting it every single day since we watched the damn movie.
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GAYNESS RANK: No gay. Nothing to report. Barren. Probably the least gay. 
3. BARBIE SPY SQUAD (2016)
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All due respect to the original queen caitlovesdisney, but like, she’s wrong about Spy Squad. Listen. 
This movie was SO MUCH FUN. We were literally just glued to the screen and having a great time watching these three girls chase after this cute af phantom thief chick??? They had tons of cops-and-robbers dialogue with her and it was just... FUN. Almost like a thriller, tbh. 
caitlovesdisney did make a great point in her video when she mentioned that they were actually pretty bad at being spies, and we can totally see why this would be super frustrating to people if they were watch. However, my roommate and I didn’t mind? We thought it was charming that they weren’t automatically great at something and that they had to practice a ton to get better. So much more refreshing compared to other Barbie stories. 
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The elephant in the room, though... we have to talk about Lazlo. 
Barbie’s friend (Theresa) has the cutest fucking romance with the boy who builds all their spy equipment throughout the movie. They’re both really nerdy, but they don’t shove it down your throat and act annoying about it? It literally just comes up in casual conversation between the two of them and they just have fun talking about things they like. It was so fucking cute and it made the movie that much better. 
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GAYNESS RANK: This movie is REALLY REALLY... APPEALING to gay people, even though it’s not really gay itself. The phantom thief, the spy outfits, all the girls riding motorcycles, the leather, the cool spy equipment... It just felt like it would appeal to a lot of gay people (and it did, cause we fuckin liked it). This movie is good. Please watch it and don’t let its low ranking on other lists dissuade you. We are right and they are wrong. 
2. THE BARBIE DIARIES (2006)
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Before yall say anything, we know that this movie is fucking ugly. We clowned on some of the other movies for being ugly but this one truly takes the ugly cake. 
HOWEVER, that did not prevent this movie from being good. We fucking loved it. 
FIRST OF ALL, Barbie is in high school???? Which was so fresh to see???? There’s no magic, no princesses. It’s literally just a down-to-Earth teen drama movie involving Barbie, her friends, a love interest, and some mean girls. 
This had a really interesting plot that was actually kind of... complicated???? Dare I say??? We’re not stupid. There was just so much going on involving couples breaking up and getting back together, Barbie changing her motivations, how her friends react to what she’s doing, just... so much.
The only real criticism we have of this one is that the apology in this one was pretty rushed and didn’t feel Barbie’s friends should have forgiven her so easily for the shit she did. Other than that, though, this was a pretty great teen drama that I would highly recommend. I would definitely watch this one again, regardless of how ugly it is. 
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GAYNESS RANK: Barbie had a clear love interest with a guy that was super sweet (sorry we didn’t mention him but he’s one of the better love interests, love u Kev) but mean girl teen drama is always a little gay? Plus how she would go back and forth between social circles was interesting. Also her and her friends are in a band, which is always cool and appealing to the gays, at least. 
1. BARBIE STARLIGHT ADVENTURE (2016)
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We did it. We made it to the end. If there’s even one person who read this at all I would thank you but... you’ve lost along with us. BUT AT LEAST WE GET TO TELL YOU ABOUT STARLIGHT ADVENTURE. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This movie came out NOWHERE and fucking PUNCHED US IN THE FACE. When the wheel picked this one, we were starting to get burned out, and thought that since this was a newer Barbie movie it wouldn’t be very good. Boy, were we fucking wrong. 
This movie is so INTERESTING and HANDS DOWN has the best portrayal of Barbie as a character. This took such an interesting perspective on space travel, sci-fi, a slightly dystopian YA setting... it has so much going on but never feels like too much. 
Can we just start with how GORGEOUS this movie looks and how CUTE Barbie’s design is?!
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She’s wearing a VEST and PANTS!!!!! FUCK YES. 
Anyway, the plot: She lives with her dad on this deserted planet, and she takes care of the animals, while also riding a hoverboard competitively. She’s contacted by some galactic king to join a team and fix the alignment of the stars? (sorry if it’s not exactly right lol its 4am). When accepting, she also meets this girl that she had been competing with at hoverboard competitions, and they develop a really sweet friendship with each other and a few other friends/teammates. 
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Unlike the other Barbie movies, we kind of understand why everyone else looks up to Barbie as a leader figure. She makes decisions confidently and goes through so much character development. Even the villain goes through a sort of redemption arc, and it’s done fairly well!!! This is so much different from other Barbie movies. 
This feels like it could be, like, a legitimate movie that could be played in theaters rather than a straight-to-DVD Barbie movie. The animation in this was GORGEOUS, like miles better than 99% of the other movies. Plus, cute animal sidekick (FINALLY). 
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We can’t gush about this enough, people should be made aware of this movie. It’s completely worth your time. IT’S ALSO ON NETFLIX. 
GAYNESS RANK: This is another one that’s moreso appealing to gay people rather than being gay itself. However, Barbie and the other girl that rides the hoverboard have a few really gay scenes, such as meeting up in a garden late at night and riding around. They giggle and laugh with each other and have a deep conversation about life and shit while staring up at the (gorgeously animated) sky. That def gets some points. 
That’s it those are all the 36 Barbie movies ranked based off of nothing but pure............................ hubris? Stupidity? Pride? I don’t know. I’m so sorry. We fucking hated watching most of these. 
Except for Starlight Adventure.... You can stay.
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batfamscreaming · 4 years
Text
OK
so i have made a list of all the MCU movies (not you, spiderverse, you’re your own delightful creation) and gone through imdb’s cast list to look through How Many Women Were There. Imdb goes by payroll usually, so once I got to women who were not named or whose roll boiled down to “I have an unmentioned name or am mostly a cameo from the manga” I stopped reading down
I said “there’s like two women per movie” but it turns out i mostly just REMEMBER there being two women before movie, because it feels like we only really see two women plus some recurring background characters, and barring things like Endgame/Infinity war the female characters are cycled out immediately when more than two might concievably be in the same room together. The most common number of what I’d consider “main character” (in at least 1/3rd of the story, with +5 lines) girls is about two per movie, though some are higher and some are 1 gorl.
Characters I didn’t remember or was worried others may not have a (parenthesis) beside their names.
Movies I have not seen are in italic.
Female characters I’d say were in at least 1/3rd of the movie doing more than being a literal background lamp are in bold. I know this is subjective.
the term ‘under-5′ refers to a character who has five lines of dialogue or less. So they are not an extra, but they are not a main character. I haven’t seen most of these movies since the years they came out so this is what i recall of things and not necessesarily exactly accurate to the line count. Half these movies I don’t even remember Maria Hill being in except to stand there and say “yes sir” once or twice, but it is entirely possible I missed something, considering I forgot her existance for a good half of these.
List is below the cut for length.
This list does not take into consideration race, though I will note the majority of these characters are definitely white, and those who are not white either tend to have their skin color altered (ex Nebula) or not be repeat castings (ex Topaz)
Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)
Peggy Carter
Private Lorraine (the one who tries to seduce Steve after the rescue)
The showgirls and two dates at the fair
Captain Marvel (2019)
Carol Danvers
Wendy Lawson
Minn-Erva
Maria Rambeau
Iron Man (2008)
Pepper Potts
Christine Everhart (the journalist slept with in the beginning)
Iron Man 2 (2010)
Pepper Potts
Natasha 
Christine Everhart (appears briefly trying to make Tony Jealous. I am guessing this is an under-5 role.)
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Betty Ross
Kathleen Spar (an aide)
Martina (harassed bottling plant employee)
Thor (2011)
Jane Foster
DARCY
Sif (leader of the warriors 3)
Frigga (under-5)
Isabela Alvarez (lady who runs the diner)
The Avengers (2012)
Natasha 
Maria Ross
Pepper Potts (receives a phone call)
Iron Man 3 (2013)
Pepper Potts
Maya Hensen
Brandt 
Mrs Davis (a bar contact)
Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Jane Foster
Sif
Frigga
Darcy
Eir (examines Jane)
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
Natasha
Maria Hill
Sharon Carter/‘Agent 13’ (watches cap do laundry)
Peggy Carter 
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Gamora
Nebula
Nova Prime (angry mayor)
Meredith Quill (dies immediately)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
Gamora
Nebula
Mantis fuck yea
Ayesha (gets robbed from in the beginning and puts out a hit)
Meredith Quill (flashbacks ) 
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2014)
Natasha
Wanda
Maria Hill (debriefs about Wanda and quicksilver, hovers in background some)
Peggy Carter (is not even listed in the synopsis page)
Linda Barton (exists?? And made people v angry)
Dr. Cho (makes the ultron body)
Ant-Man (2015)
Hope van Dyne
Cassie Lang
Maggie Lang
Peggy Carter is here???
Janet van Dyne is listed on imdb one rung above “Spanish woman” and two beneath ‘buyer’. 
*Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Natasha
Wanda
Maria Tomei (briefly seen as Peter gets recruited)
Sharon Carter (kisses cap at Peggy’s funeral)
Miriam Sharpe (lost son in sokovia)
Dead parents also briefly appear
Originally i put pepper on this but APPARENTLY NEVER MIND
*I have seen Civil War, but none of the women appear in enough capacity to say they are ‘there the whole film’
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
May Parker
Pepper Potts
MJ
Liz Toomes (Adrian’s daughter and on decathalon team. Consistently in movie but usually minor. More lines than MJ )
Doctor Strange (2016)
Christine Palmer (nurse, early love interest)
Ancient One
Everything after here are the zealots who happen to be girls
Black Panther (2018)
    is an outlier and should not need to be counted.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Hella Hela
Valkyrie 
Topaz (grandmasters v eager bodyguard. Under-5 probably)
Ant-Man and The Wasp (2018)
Hope van Dyne
Maggie Lang
Ghost / Ava
Janet van Dyne
Catherine Star (dies immediately, not sure if lines at all)
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Natasha
Gamora (permadead)
Nebula
Wanda
Okoye
Mantis 
Pepper
And Shuri is listed beneath Thaddeus Ross, who i forgot was in the movie bc we haven’t seen him SINCE HULK 2008. (He was also in Civil War but like… why)
Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Natasha (permadead)
Carol Danvers
Nebula
Gamora
Valkyrie (now a mayor. Maybe under-5)
Frigga 
Wanda
Okoye (talks about earthquakes at start)
Mantis (not sure if spoke?)
Shuri (under-5)
Ancient One 
Peggy Carter (no lines)
Like six people return from snap who happen to be girls I’m not writing all this out
Accidentally put drax on this list at first. Sorry, drax. u_u
Spiderman: Far From Home (2 July 2019)
May Parker
MJ
Betty Brant (a student)
Maria Hill (??? Wiki claims she is mentioned but not actually in the film)
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criticalpraisefilm · 6 years
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Top 5 Best and Worst Movies of 2017
Wow, this list was hard to write. Not because I didn’t have enough material, not at all. If anything, I struggled to find films to put on the worst list. Some of the films on the worst side of the list I actually enjoyed, because this year has given us so many fantastic movies. It’s been the best year for films in a long time. In fact, this year has been so good, I’m starting with some Honourable Mentions. Because I can. Honourable Mentions (in no particular order): Power Rangers Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie Logan Lucky The Hitman’s Assassin Baby Driver (newfound casting awkwardness aside) Wonder Woman (wow, how did I not have enough space on this list for Wonder Woman?)
And now, on to the good (and bad) stuff:
5th Best: The LEGO Batman Movie
After saving Gotham again, Batman finds himself struggling to find a purpose in life, when he accidentally adopts a child, and finds himself dealing with that, while trying to stop villains from taking over the world again. It’s hilarious. Get ready to read that a lot on this list, because half of my favourite movies of the year were at least partially comedies, but I really can’t say that much about the movie beyond that it’s full of jokes, and a vast majority of them work. You’ll end up laughing your way through it, which is the best way to watch a silly movie like this. And hey, if you miss half the jokes, that just gives you an excuse to watch it again.
5th Worst: Baywatch
The members of Baywatch have to accept some new recruits into their ranks that stir things up, while dealing with a local new drug ring. I wanted to enjoy this movie, because when it’s being funny, it’s pretty damn funny, and Dwayne Johnson doesn’t know how not to be entertaining. But I just couldn’t because it wasn’t funny often enough, and when it wasn’t funny, it was painfully unfunny. Maybe good for a few laughs, but nowhere near as successful a comedy as it could and should have been.
4th Best: Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Star Wars happens. Rey trains in the Force with Luke, Finn, Poe, Leia and the rest of the Resistance try not to die, Kylo Ren tries to make them die, it’s all very Star Wars. And it’s good Star Wars, pulling a great number of subversions of overdone Star Wars ideas, and combining enough Original Trilogy familiarity with it’s own originality to produce a great movie. The best Star Wars we’ve had in a long time to be perfectly honest. Carries on the franchise nicely and provides plenty of hope for the future.
4th Worst: The Dark Tower
A Gunslinger and a Man in Black spend a movie trying to kill each other, while psychic child Jake tags along with a Gunslinger to stop the universe from ending. I kinda wish the kid wasn’t there. Nothing against the actor, but the character detracted from the interesting part of the movie, which was the Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey shooting each other. Unfortunately, said kid was the focus of the movie. Mostly it’s just kinda boring. There’s not a great deal to say about it, because so little feels like it happened. Which is not the route you want to go in a movie where the entire universe is literally being destroyed.
3rd Best: Thor: Ragnarok
Thor and Loki team up again to fight Hela, Goddess of Death. They lose badly and end up on a mostly lawless planet, where Thor meets up with the Hulk, and starts putting together a team to give murdering Hela another shot. I keep hearing different numbers, but apparently a good amount of this movie’s dialogue was improvised, and it feels like it in the best possible way. The jokes, comedic timing, and character interactions are absolutely perfect and wonderful. It doesn’t even try to take itself seriously, and yet still tells an engaging story while being so funny it hurts sometimes.
3rd Worst: Assassin’s Creed
This came out 1st January 2017 in the UK. I’m counting it because this movie sucks. Callum Lynch is executed, and later wakes up to find himself imprisoned by the Abstergo Corporation, who want to use his “genetic memory” to find an artefact that will allow them to take over the world. For something with world-ending stakes, not a lot seemed to happen. Sound familiar? Again, this just turned out being not very interesting for much of the runtime. It’s boring, the plot makes little sense, every character is an asshole, the climax is so underwhelming I didn’t believe the movie was over initially, and it’s just a drag to get through.
2nd Best: The Disaster Artist
Actors Greg Sestero and the indescribable Tommy Wiseau find little success in getting movie roles, so they decide to make their own movie. Called The Room. The rest is history. James Franco’s impression of Tommy Wiseau is scarily uncanny at times, which is what holds up the movie’s comedy because the antics of that man are a sight to behold. The rest of the movie is held together by Dave Franco’s inspired performance as Sestero and the shockingly inspirational themes. If you are a fan of The Room this is a must see. If you are not a fan of The Room, go see The Room, and then see this one.
2nd Worst: American Assassin
Mitch Rapp wants to get revenge on some undefined terrorists, and so joins a super-secret unit of highly trained soldiers dedicated to...taking out terrorists I guess, it isn’t very clear or memorable. The main problem with this movie is the main character: namely, that he’s an idiot who thinks he’s a badass, and unfortunately the movie agrees with him. He constantly does stupid, reckless things that should get him killed, but don’t because he’s the main character. Other than that, it’s a pretty generic action movie with nothing new about it. If it had been about all the ways the main character died because of his stupidity, it would be a much better movie.
Best: Blade Runner 2049
Replicant Blade Runner K stumbles across a secret that could ignite a war between humans and Replicants. He and his holographic partner Joi must make the decision to destroy evidence of the secret, or ignite the spark of revolution. This movie was as perfect a sequel to Blade Runner as we were ever going to get. It looks beautiful, the plot plays out in fantastic style, the characters are all interesting, and the themes and ideas presented are just flawless. This is the best movie I have seen in many, many years, and stands a good chance of being one of my favourite movies ever, if not top of that list.
Worst: Fifty Shades Darker
Anastasia Steele, after making the best decision of her life and breaking up with Christian Grey, completely goes back on that and gets back together with him on the promise that he’ll be better and stuff. Not much else happens. What do I need to say? It’s Fifty Shades: the second one. That name has become synonymous with zero plot, terrible and terribly-written characters, bad pacing, stale writing, and just overall nothing interesting beyond the flat sex scenes. Even if it is much less reprehensible than the first movie, that does not by any stretch make it good, and it is really, really not. This movie should be avoided at any cost.
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seasannaisling · 5 years
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Rewatching Disney Animations (1)
okay so i'm watching Snow White and i already have SO many problems with this. if you're interested everything will be below the image & i will also be tagging this as /spoilers.
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so starting off we have the book part—there's no narrator to read what's on the screen. the text on screen is in a ridiculous font that i can barely read. they definitely could have used a narrator.
next we move onto the opening scene. the water doesn't look like water and it made me kinda queasy. though that's just me nitpicking. the camera fades into the castle where we meet the "Evil Queen".
EQ is standing in front of her mirror and summons the soul that is, in fact, canonically imprisoned within it. she asks the usual "Who is the fairest of them all" drama, and is shocked when the mirror says, "Snow White."
instead of giving us time to digest this with EQ, we IMMEDIATELY cut to Snow White, who is dressed in rags and cleaning the steps with birds around her. it's very apparent that this girl can't be much more than 12 or 13 years of age.
her voice (which i personally find fairly grating) is quite high and we are taken into the first song of the movie. she's singing to birds. Snow is minding her own business when the movie's Prince shows up and sneaks up on her.
the prince (who from this point onward will be PC, for Prince Creep) starts to sing along and we immediately are hit by his very adult voice. he is AT LEAST 20, probably more.
Snow (understandably) runs away from PC, who calls after and tries to follow her. he begins singing again, as if that will coax her out. this is a classic case of an older man enticing a young girl with things such as sweets.
it works. Snow comes out to watch him from the balcony, and PC approaches on the stairs. we see EQ again, and she is furious.
EQ orders the Huntsman to kill Snow, stating to bring back her heart. this is a grown woman ordering the death of a little girl. he almost does it, but can't.
he warns Snow and tells her to run. she does so,getting attacked by trees. she is scared out of her mind. this is a LITTLE GIRL. alone in a forest, terrified because her guardian ordered her death.
Snow collapses and sobs, because everything is far too much. the animals attempt to comfort her. the birds convince her to sing because, when things go wrong! you should sing, right??
this poor little girl has only the animals as her friends. oh, and she pets bambi! that's nice. they then take her to the Dwarves' cottage, because they like her. little girls and animals, huh?
"oh, it's adorable! just like a doll's house!"
she is barely twice the height of a baby deer. what the heck.
oh, look, now she's breaking and entering. Snow, kiddo, that's illegal. she assumes that seven children live there. she gasps at the mess and cleans it up. yet another song. this is at least the 3rd song.
whistle while you work! the animals do basically everything while she sings. squirrels are apparently extra good at removing cobwebs.
the poor deer becomes a clothing hanger. the turtle is a washboard. fade to black and, oh my! we're meeting the dwarves who immediately go into another song.
poor dopey has already been smacked. he's doing his best please let him be. aaand they're going home. this isn't going to end well.
snow and her gaggle of animal pals are still snooping around the cottage. this turtle and chipmunk are the best duo though.
all the animals and snow fall asleep until they hear the dwarves. the animals run to hide. the dwarves are upset to see someone broke in.
doc has a speech impedement, which is very interesting. especially for such an early disney film. though it's meant to be a joke.
the birds are playing a prank now. cruel. this is the dwarves' HOME, ya nasties.
wow, so cruel to dopey.
poor dwarf can't even speak.
dopey enters the bedroom where Snow is sleeping soundly, only to be terrified. they decide to kill it while it's asleep, unaware that "it" is a little girl.
they're about to strike when they realize it's a GIRL. grumpy wakes her up. she proceeds to guess who everyone is and then introduces herself.
grumpy tries warning everyone. they all decide that Snow can stay because she can cook. they all freak out over the soup.
Snow acts like a strict mother. yikies. still adore Dopey and Grumpy though. "hEh. WoMeN." they all are in love with Snow.
well they're bathing now. oh no they're scheming. here goes. pretty sure this is assault. and the soap went down dopey's throat.
sUpPeR!!
oh no, here we are with the queen again. mirror is a bitch. now EQ knows and she's SCHEMIN'. gotta say this is one of the coolest scenes in the movie. the magic and transformation is wildly impressive.
THE POISON APPLE! honestly such an iconic movie staple.
the dwarves are singing for Snow, now. holy crap dopey is in an incredible drummer. Snow kicked the cymbal, wholesome. she's like their daughter now.
oh hey, the animals are watching. this is a nice, cute scene. everyone can dance and play an instrument. this is actually really nice!
aaand sneezy launched dopey onto the ceiling.
SNOW STOP THAT YOU MET HIM ONCE, AND HE'S AT LEAST 8 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU. PLEASE QUIT THIS. fuck, i'm with Grumpy.
she's gonna sing em to sleep. holy shit. i mean me too. dopey is a cutie— oh my god, she's praying. well that's not alienating at all.
OH NO DOPEY HAS NIGHT TERRORS HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE??
fade to black and and we're back with EQ. all this to be the prettiest. oh man. just her shrieking "BURIED ALIVE" will be engrained in my brain for eternity.
APPLE DELIVERY!! apples for Snow White!! Princess Snow?? i got you some APPLES!! want some APPLES?? promise they're not POISON or anything.
mAkIn pIeS??!
animals out here bein scared. oh hey they're attacking EQ. aaand Snow stopped them. Snow they were TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.
man EQ really wants to kill this 12 year old girl. and the animals are trying to warn the dwarves. they aren't listening. oh hey Grumpy to the rescue. ho boy
the switches between creepy quiet and intense music is giving me whiplash.
Snow is officially dead. EQ is fleeing. the dwarves are about to become murderers, holy shit. EQ just fell to her death. holy shit.
FUNERAL TIME! the dwarves are in mourning. so are the animals. everyone is sad. it's raining.
oh good, more words on the screen with no narration—and here comes PC! guess consent isn't a thing here, i guess. not that Snow is even past the age of consent. plus PC is an adult and she's a kid— ah, jeez, she's awake.
everyone is having a grand old time— WAIT WHAT? YOU'RE LEAVING WITH THE PRINCE YOU'VE ONLY MET TWICE? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING—
oh, great. a golden castle. and it's over. wonderful.
well i can safely say that that was not as bad as i expected. there's a lot of problems but it's still enjoyable. but i'd stick with some of the other movies. all i got was "Run away from your problems" and "Don't eat fruit from random strangers."
if any of you feel like watching it and giving your opinion of the movie, you can watch it here. this was long, hah.
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wbwest · 7 years
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New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com
New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/08/25/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-82517/
West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 8/25/17
  In movie news, there was quite the controversial casting this week, as the color lines blurred for some comic book adaptations. First up, it was announced that English actor Ed Skrein would be portraying Japanese character Ben Daimio in the upcoming Hellboy reboot. Now, according to what I’ve read, Daimio’s Japanese heritage heavily influences the character, so this whitewashing of the character doesn’t seem to be in the best interest of the character. I mean, after the problems with whitewashing in Doctor Strange, Ghost in the Shell, Aloha, The Great Wall, and Ni’ihau, you’d think Hollywood would avoid shit like this. Yes, movies are made to make money, but it’s not like Skrein is a bankable star worth slotting into the role, so it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Usually this is done for the film’s STARS. Damon, Johansson, Stone. This is a secondary character, so it really wouldn’t have hurt them to seek out an Asian actor. Normally I’m just like “Well, Hollywood’s gonna Hollywood”, but this decision just doesn’t make a ton of sense.
Next up, 24: Legacy’s Anna Diop has been cast as Starfire in Warner Bros’ Titans series, slated to air on DC’s upcoming digital service. Some folks are saying they should’ve cast a Latina, but she’s gonna either be painted or CGied in orange, so it’s not like it’s gonna matter at the end of the day. Personally, if they wanted authenticity, I think they should’ve cast an actual orange alien princess. Right now there are just too many unknowns for me to get excited about this. I mean, DC announced the digital service without a lot of information. What’s gonna be on it? What will it cost? How much of the DC library will be available to be housed on it? As for Titans, this is the show TNT passed on. Ya know, the home of such illustrious shows as The Librarians and The Last Ship. I mean, they’re basically just about a notch up from what we got in the 90s from Universal’s Action Pack lineup. If Titans couldn’t fit anywhere on that schedule, then it probably just isn’t “ready for primetime” yet.
Speaking of aimless Warner Bros decisions, they announced 2 different Joker movies this week. First up is an origin tale, directed by Todd Phillips of Old School fame, and produced by Martin Scorsese. Hmm, one of those things is not like the other. I mean, why would Scorsese touch something helmed by the dude who gave us Road Trip? And who even WANTS a Joker origin story? First of all, it’s reportedly not even going to be part of the DCEU, so why confuse the audience with a story that won’t even really “count” in the grand scheme of things? Nobody needs a standalone origin of a take on a character they’ll likely never see again. This is just as foolish as Sony’s Don’t-Look-For-Spider-Man-To-Appear Venom movie. Next, the guys behind This Is Us (SO hot right now!) and Crazy, Stupid, Love are working on a Bonnie & Clyde-style Joker and Harley film, with Jared Leto and Margot Robbie reprising their roles from Suicide Squad. Since this would sort of negate the empowerment that Harley gained by the end of Squad, it’s believed that this actually means that the planned Gotham City Sirens film, also slated to star Robbie, is now dead. Honestly, I could do without either of these movies. I found Leto’s take on Joker to be…interesting, but Less is More with that character. Plus, I don’t really think the DCEU would be strengthened by this sort of movie. It’s not the world-building they need to be doing right now, as they haven’t even figured out the core of their star characters like Batman and Superman yet.
In TV news, Christopher Sebela’s comic Heartthrob has been optioned as a TV series by Felix Culpa – a production company launched by actress/Elvis’s granddaughter Riley Keough. Now, comics are optioned every day, and the final product never comes to fruition, but I hope this series sees the light of day. I’m actually a big fan of the comic, which is published by Oni Press. Set in the late 70s, it focuses on Callie, who’s received a heart transplant while the process is still in its infancy. Given a new lease on life, but still told she’s basically living on borrowed time, she decides to change her life when she meets Mercer, a charming guy with a shady side. She immediately falls for him, and he teaches her how to be bad, like rob banks and commit other crimes. She gets off on the rush. Pretty soon, however, she realizes that Mercer isn’t real. No, he’s actually the ghost of the guy whose heart is now in Callie. So, it’s a Bonnie & Clyde story where Clyde’s calling the shots from the afterlife. The book is published in “seasons”, so the first 5-issue miniseries wrapped up back in early 2016, while season 2 is hitting stores now. If you’re looking for a new comic not from the Big Two, I highly recommend it.
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In music news, Taylor Swift did a whole social blitz to announce that her next album would be called Reputation, and would be released Nov 10th. On top of that, the first single was released last night, with rumors that the video will premiere at Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards. Ya know, the same awards hosted my Taylor’s enemy Katy Perry. Yeah, that should be pretty interesting to watch. Anyway, the new song is called “Look What You Made Me Do”, and I’m not too impressed. It lacks a real hook, while the chorus itself is basically spoken. I feel like it has all the ingredients for a great song, but it’s not living up to its full potential. If this is an indicator of what to expect on Reputation, though, I’ll admit I’m curious. It can’t be worse than Perry’s Witness.
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Speaking of Katy Perry, we got the premiere of her video for “Swish Swish”, which was reportedly her diss track against Taylor Swift. After a lot of backtracking and sucking up, though, it seems Katy wants to put that feud behind her. That’s why this horrible video does everything it can to take the bite out of a song that was never really that biting to begin with. I mean, just look at it – Molly Shannon? Terry Crews? Even Nicki Minaj was clearly CGied in, as I’m sure she didn’t wanna be anywhere near this shitshow. The sad thing about the Perry/Swift feud is that Katy bailed on it the minute she realized the Swifties were a more powerful lobby than she had thought. Nobody was feeling her SNL performances, and Witness didn’t exactly fly off the shelves. She realized that she can’t really survive by making enemies, so suddenly she became conciliatory to save her ass. Plus, it’s kinda lame that this blood feud started just because Taylor stole a few of Katy’s dancers for her tour. Anyway, you’ll never get those 6 minutes back. You’re welcome.
I had the pleasure of joining my buddy Zac for his new podcast, The Zac Shipley Show. He’s treating these first few episodes as pilots for ideas he’s wanted to try, so our ep was called Streaming Pile, where we talked about the worst things we could find on streaming services. I talked about a Star Trek: Voyager episode where formerly perky pixie Kes returns all middle-aged and bitter. You should check it out, and give a listen to his other episodes while you’re there!
Song of the Week
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I’ve been a big Maren Morris fan since she released “My Church”, and I was really into her next single, “80s Mercedes”. With this song she continues not to disappoint, as I love the groove on this thing. Listen to the bassline. It’s not a dance song, yet you can do a MEAN two-step to it. Hell, I think you could even do a casual version of The Hustle to it. This will definitely go to #1 given time.
Things You Might Have Missed This Week
NBC’s planned reboot of Xena: Warrior Princess – which would’ve featured a full-on lesbian relationship between her and Gabrielle – is officially dead, as they said “it didn’t warrant a reboot”. Man, if only other studios would realize this about some of their projects…
Director James Gunn mentioned in a Q & A session that the 3rd Guardians of the Galaxy film would set up the next 10-20 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yup, you’re just now realizing your own mortality. I’ll give you a minute to deal with that.
Speaking of Gunn, he’s attached to write the pilot for (and possibly direct) a reboot of 70s series Starsky & Hutch. This adaptation is supposed to be similar in tone to CBS’s upcoming S.W.A.T. and not comedic in tone like the 2004 Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson movie.
Surprising every critic in Hollywood, Netflix has renewed the maligned comedy Friends From College for a second season.
Known for controversial publicity stunts, Alamo Drafthouse is reportedly organizing a Clowns Only screening of the new adaptation of Stephen King’s It.
We got a new poster for Thor: Ragnarok. So many colors!
Michael K. Williams has reportedly been cut from the Star Wars Han Solo film, as Ron Howard’s reshoot schedule conflicted with another role that Williams had accepted.
There are, like, 8 different Knight Rider reboot treatments floating around Hollywood, but the latest rumor is that one of those productions is looking at John Cena as Michael Knight, with Kevin Hart as the voice of K.I.T.T. Of course, it would be a comedic adaptation, a la the popular Jump Street franchise.
Super Troopers 2, the sequel to one of the most overrated films I’ve ever seen, will hit theaters April 20th, 2018.
Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson will star in Nasty Women, which is a female-led reboot of the Michael Caine/Steve Martin classic Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
Independence Day: Resurgence‘s Jessie T Usher will star in Son of Shaft, with Samuel L. Jackson potentially reprising his role as John Shaft (from the 2000 reboot film), the nephew of the original John Shaft, played by Richard Roundtree, who is also in talks to join the movie. Man, that gave me a headache.
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Always on the cutting edge, here’s Sesame Street’s parody of 2017’s song of the summer, “Despacito”
According to the creators, the Netflix series Stranger Things will most likely end after its fourth season
The actress formerly known as “Andrea Zuckerman”, Gabrielle Carteris, has been re-elected to a 2-year term as the President of the Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA)
Ryan Gosling will host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live, with musical guest Jay-Z, on Sept 30th.
Jamie Bell is developing a Jumper TV series, based on the 2008 film about teleporters
Suicide Squad 2 is reportedly being fast tracked, but I hope they fast track it right into the garbage. I mean, I enjoyed the first one, but I don’t need a sequel.
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I like Nick Kroll, even though I never saw even a second of Kroll Show. Anyway, he’s got a new animated series about puberty called Big Mouth coming to Netflix and after watching this teaser I am ON BOARD!
We’re a month away from the premiere of Star Trek: Discovery, and it was revealed that it will be rated TV-MA, for Mature Audiences. Now, it doesn’t mean there’ll be tits and phasers, but it does mean they can tell more complex stories. That said, I still feel like they don’t truly understand the source material.
After a scathing essay from his ex-wife went public, accusing him of adultery and other generally shitty behavior to women, Joss Whedon went underground and the fan site, Whedonesque, shut down after 15 years.
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We got a new teaser for Netflix’s The Punisher. With the rate I’m getting through these Marvel shows, I’ll probably get to it just before Evie goes off to Hogwarts.
There was a national solar eclipse this week, which was the first occurrence since 1918. I’m sure you might’ve heard something about it. It was kind of a big deal. Folks were pimping out special cardboard glasses on Craigslist for insane amounts of money, and the American President made news by looking directly into it. It seems that it had a strange effect on different folks. For example, Netflix viewership went down 10% as people went outside to view the phenomenon. Not everyone understood what was going on, bless their hearts. At work, a frantic parent called in and said “Y’all watching the news? You hear about this eclipse? Is it serious?!” Apparently she thought it posed some sort of danger to her kids and the school. No, ma’am. It’s just a beautiful sky ballet. Anyway, the eclipse was EVERYWHERE. I didn’t get to see totality, but it was still nice to stand outside for a bit on a nice day. What am I saying? I hate the outdoors! Well, it was nice to not have to work for a few minutes. You couldn’t escape the Eclipse Fever at the start of the week, so that’s why the Solar Eclipse of 2017 had the West Week Ever.
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vileart · 7 years
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Curse of the Dramaturgy: Sam Dunham @ Edfringe 2017
Curse of the Mummy
Just the Tonic (Big Cave), 12 Niddry Street South, Edinburgh, EH1 1NS
Thursday 3rd – Saturday 26th August 2017 (not 14th), 19:30
From the creators of smash hits, Dracula: Sex, Sucking and Stardom and Frankenstein: UnBolted, comes a tale from the darkest depths of Ancient Egypt. 
Unwitting hero, Montana Jones, is on a quest for archaeological eminence; however a love-cursed Mummy and a Nazi spy threaten to destroy everything he hopes for! This ancient legend is unwrapped, revitalised and whipped up with mischievous musical mash-ups and outrageous humour in a frenetic hour of riotous theatre comedy. Using both shockingly catchy pop songs and obscure 80s ballads combined with an intriguing interpretation of world history, Last Chance Saloon takes us on a whirlwind adventure. As Sam Dunham, Jack Faires and Jack Gogarty play a huge array characters in the course of one hour, they will have audiences crying out for more.
What was the inspiration for this performance? We love making people laugh and that’s our primary aim. We want people to be swept away for an hour, to forget any troubles or worries they may have and be transported to a place where they can laugh. I think we’re all in need of a little escapism every now and then and that’s what we try and do. Is performance still a good space for the public
discussion of ideas? Ah that sounds like one of those intellectual questions.  Ask The Stage, ask The Guardian, ask anyone else. We’re just creating theatre for people to enjoy. How did you become interested in making performance? We started writing our first show because no one wanted to employ us! We were sick of waiting around for an audition to come in so we decided to give ourselves a job instead. It also meant that we could create the exact type of work that we wanted to be in ourselves. We hoped that because we enjoyed the process of creating it, the audience would feel the same and so far that fortunately seems to have been the case. Is there any particular approach to the making of the show? We started off ‘winging it’ really but as we’ve written more shows we’ve come up with a formulae that seems to work. We write the show and then have a read through, see what works and what doesn’t sound right. Throw some ideas around then do a couple more re writes and then workshop some of the more physical routines or scenes. 
We then have a rehearsal period where we tend to rip up the script and start again! We think it’s important to start rehearsals with a structure to our story but we’re not precious with the writing. We love playing and devising and if in rehearsal something comes out that’s better than what we wrote then we’ll put it in! Does the show fit with your usual productions? I think you’ll have to ask the audience! But yes it’s full of slapstick routines, musical parodies, slick, lightning fast action and hopefully lots of fun. And we've stuck roughly to a theme of Gothic Horror Stories after Dracula and Frankenstein. What do you hope that the audience will experience? There’s a lot of great stand-up comedians out there and there’s a lot of great sketch groups too.  We think there aren’t that many great comic theatre companies that take audiences on an emotionally and funny rollercoaster. No matter what is going on in people’s lives we want them to forget about their worries and troubles and come out of the theatre with a smile on their face and their spirits uplifted.
What strategies did you consider towards shaping this audience experience? I think when you put it like that it seems to be a very conscious and tactical thing. If we enjoy writing the show, if we laugh at the jokes and routines we do in rehearsals then we’re pretty confident our audience will enjoy it too. 
We’re huge fans of Chaplin, Keaton, Monty Python and League of Gentlemen to name a few so although we don’t copy their techniques we do draw on their jokes and style for inspiration. If we see something, be it a sketch, a scene in a film, or even a cartoon that we like, we enjoy playing with how a version of it could work in our story. Last Chance Saloon is a collaborative comic theatre company who specialise in twisting classic tales, whilst infusing them with their unique brand of character-based comedy. Giving a nod to the golden age of British humour, mixed with farcical physical comedy and quirky musical parody, their aim is to allow audiences to escape from the doom and gloom of everyday life into a world of pure unadulterated enjoyment.
Director Simon Egerton comments, I’m really happy to be working with the guys again on what will be our 4th show together. The rehearsal process is always particularly fun as the script is never seen as sacrosanct but just a starting point for the show we create. Ideas are thrown in, flipped around and transformed to make the show a melting pot of organised chaos that leaves the audience crying with laughter and gasping for breath. I sometimes wish we had a longer time slot to fit more musical numbers, vaudeville routines and exotic dance numbers in!
from the vileblog http://ift.tt/2ptrpjD
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furederiko · 7 years
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Here's the 3rd, but probably not the last Random News Digest for April...
X-Men Universe
Looks like 20th Century FOX has found its superhero niche, that's able to place the studio on a similar level to its more popular Marvel counterpart, Marvel Studios. And that is, the R-Rated department! Yes, following the success of "Deadpool", now "Logan" has secured its place as the fourth highest grossing R-rated movie of all time. So while the studio might not be able to catch up the financial and critical success in the PG-13 department, it's going strong in the older-oriented market with approximately $598 million cume. Currently finishing its seventh weekend run, the critically acclaimed "Logan" is only $13 million away from taking over Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" that's still sitting on the third place. There is a possibility that it might get dethroned, but with the Summer movies like "Fate of the Furious" entering the competition and massively snatching away public's attention, things are definitely not quite so certain anymore. I guess we'll have to wait and see how the movie performs this week, right?
Earlier today (my time region, so I believe it's... yesterday in the US?), Josh Brolin trolled actor Ryan Reynolds via social media, now that his involvement in "Deadpool 2" has been publicly confirmed. True to his character Cable, and his long tumultous history with Deadpool, Brolin's making fun of the movie's lead by calling him out with '#ryanreyondsismybitch'. Marvel Studios' Kevin Feige confirmed very recently, that his studio does NOT prohibit its actors from starring other superhero character in other studios. Particularly, in regards of Brolin's double roles. So I'm guessing Brolin gets to have the best of both worlds... or should I say universes. He's a major supervillain in Marvel Cinematic Universe, but a crucial superhero in the X-Men side at the same year. Could one actor get any privilege cooler than that? By the way, is that the photo of him preparing for prosthetics? After all, Cable is a character with both human and robotic body. Seriously, with how comically accurate "Deadpool" depicted Piotr Rasputin/Collosus, I can't help but wonder how authentic Brolin's Cable would look...
Marvel Studios
Let's get the biggest and most important news out of the way first. James Gunn is returning to write and direct "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3"! Revealing this huge information in advance, just ahead of the first US press junket and screening of "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", Gunn took to Facebook to express his heartwarming love and devotion to the franchise. Typical Gunn, to be honest, to not let himself be outdone by any journalists who would claim scoops and exclusives. Of course, this isn't actually surprising as much as a confirmation, because he HAD expressed interest to walk through the same cosmic road before this, albeit still in 'uncertain mode'.
If you ask me, this is a VERY wise choice, because that means we can expect the same style and tone moving forward to the 3rd and possibly final movie of the franchise. Why final? Gunn himself stated that the third movie "...will conclude the story of this iteration of the Guardians of the Galaxy, and help catapult both old and new Marvel characters into the next ten years and beyond. I will be working side-by-side with Kevin Feige and the gang to help design where these stories go, and make sure the future of the Marvel Cosmic Universe is as special and authentic and magical as what we have created so far.". Does this mean it will help kickstart MCU's Phase 4, along the lines of "Iron Man 3" and "Captain America: Civil War" for Phase 2 and Phase 3 respectively? It's certainly looking that way. I have a feeling, we're going to see the likes of future heroes like Nova, Quasar, Beta Ray Bill, or future cosmic villains like Michael Korvac and many others being set up in this movie. Just imagine the interesting possibilities, right? Considering we already have a "Spider-Man: Homecoming" sequel dated for 2019, highly likely "Vol. 3" will snatch the Summer 2020 slot. For this one, I'm even willing to bet on it!
Speaking of press junket, yes, the first screening of the movie has been held just yesterday (Monday night, April 17th, US time). While official reviews are still embargoed until April 24th, 2017 12:01 AM PST, members of the press are allowed to express their thoughts on the movie via social media. As for the results... should we even be surprised if most of them are positive? Here, I'll put them on a list: - Eric Eisenberg of Cinema Blend was super happy and called it as "great continuation of the heroes". - Mike Ryan of Uproxx thought the movie was "very fun", calling out Baby Groot for being the scene stealer, and confirmed that there are more than one post credit scene. Gunn later openly confirmed and corrected that there are 5 of them! WOW. They are mostly included for the sake of fun, and it sounded like the press were only given four since the final, fifth one is being reserved for opening date. Hence why many journalists were saying they didn't saw five. This clearly puts "Vol. 2" to have the most post-credit scenes of any MCU movie to date. - Steven Weintraub of Collider said that the movie "kept a smile on my face from beginning to end" while giving "Tons of surprises". Alongside fellow Collider's reviewer Haleigh Foutch, he agreed that it was "surprisingly emotional". - Though he still liked the first movie better, Germain Lussier of iO9 chimed in with the emotional sentiment, and declared this movie "Another Marvel winner". - /Film's Peter Sciretta thought it was funnier than the original, and agreed with the 'ton of surprises and emotion' notion. While fellow reviewer Angie Han boldly called it "MCU at its very best", as she pointed out the vast color palette. - Fandango's Erik Davis stated that the sequel is "like a water-color acid trip full of awesome", and that many will consider it as "their new favorite Marvel movie". - Brandon Davis of ComicBook.com said he seriously loved it, and wished "it was never going to end". - Jeff Sneider offered one of the negative response among all. He thought it wasn't as good as the first, and that the "VFX threaten to swallow the film". - Last but not least, Joshua Yehl of IGN and Mark Hughes of Forbes put the least amount of words to describe the movie.
Now hold on a minute there. Allow me to be the pessimistic one here! Despite those cheers, somehow I feel a little suspicious to the 'lack of words' from these critics. It's as if, they are holding back on something, so now I'm more curious than ever to read their full reviews instead. I just hope I'm merely being overly pessimistic, and that this movie is equal, if not better than the first. After all, it's common sense that a sequel would be directly compared to its first movie, and that could spell either greatness or disaster in the result. Case point, for every "Captain America: The Winter Soldier", there's a "Thor: The Dark World", or "Avengers: Age of Ultron". Head over to various Entertainment Sites (like The Hollywood Reporter, Collider, Cinema Blend, and others) to check out more of these social media reactions in digest format, and help assure your ownselves whether these meant a good sign or not. Also, as we wait for the movie's Red Carpet Hollywood premiere tomorrow at 9PM ET/ 6PM PT, you can stop by on Marvel's official Youtube channel to check out the movie's latest trailer, teasing the coming of "Vol. 2" to theatres in just two weeks from now. One thing for sure, the sequel is primed to be one of 2017's 'Summer Surefire Hit', so Marvel fans shouldn't miss it for the world.
Meanwhile, "Homecoming" is preparing itself in the final stages as well, as Michael Giacchino began working on the movie's score. Not long after, news surrounding Logan Marshall-Green's mysterious role started hitting the internet as well. Based on an anonymous source, MCU Exchange reported that Marshall-Green, possibly alongside Donald Glover and Michael Mando are set to portray the live action version of The Enforcers. In the comics, these guys were featured as some of Spider-Man's earliest foes, and they usually served as henchmen for other big named super villains. Considering "Homecoming" has an obvious strong nod to Stan Lee/Steve Ditko's original works, this shouldn't sound too surprising. Even if it's clear their backstory are being modernly retooled to become the crew of Michael Keaton's Adrian Toomes/Vulture. Something I don't think they have done before in the comics.
According to the site, Marshall-Green was wearing a name tag 'Brice' in one of the scene. This easily pointed his character towards the MCU version of Jackson 'Montana' Brice. Brice is also said to become one of the two Shockers in the movie, alongside Bokeem Woodbine's Herman Schultz. With that, they also speculated that Mando might be playing 'Fancy Dan' Brito, while Glover is possibly playing a version of Raymond 'Ox' Bloch. This character information might be inline with a rumor/report posted on 4Chan board (via Reddit). The whole content of this rumor, definitely sounds REALLY interesting, and should make any Marvel movie fans leap with joy due to what we can expect in the future. Although we all know that the source's credibility is questionable at best, it's fun to get excited nonetheless. Seriously, I'm NOT kidding. So if you don't mind a little spoiler and random geekish speculations, head over and read the thread yourself. Be cautious though, it might not be 100% true. Do it just for the sake of fun!
On top of all these news however, Marvel Studios made a surprise gesture as they held an actual Open House of their office at Burbank, California. Precisely two hours before the first screening to "Vol. 2"! They've invited members of the press for a meet and greet, allowing them to see what's currently in development and what's coming in the future. This is something the studio hasn't done before, and I certainly hope it won't be the last time either. In attendance were Studio President Kevin Feige, co-President Louis D'Esposito, directors Taika Waititi, Peyton Reed, and conceptual artist Andy Park, as they helped shed some lights on various topics. This ranged from behind the scene developments and out-takes, FX work-in-progress, important tidbits from upcoming movies, as well as an exclusive one hour Q&A roundtable with Kevin Feige.
For convenience sake, let's go through them with another set of list, shall we? - Ryan Coogler's "Black Panther" is set to wrap production in just a couple of days from now. D'Esposito showed an early sizzle reel that depicted scenes like: a casino fight, the coronation of one shirtless Chadwick Boseman's T'Challa, Danai Gurira's Okoye 'flirting' with Florence Kasumba's Ayo, car-flip stunt, Lupita Nyong'o's Nakia in action, and Andy Serkis' Ulysses Klau interacting with Martin Freeman's Everett K. Ross about a mixtape. According to Scott Mendelson of Forbes, he has heard before that the genre this movie will take on is akin to James Bond's globetrotting adventure. Looks like this footage might have implicitly confirmed such report. If that's the case, then Marvel Studios is scoring big time with "Black Panther". Not only the movie will be their first movie with a black lead, it's also the first James Bond-type action hero with one. Add to that, the likelihood of an LGBT nod between two female characters, this movie might end up carrying huge torch of importance for the MCU. - Reed and Park showcased their concept designs for "Ant-Man & the Wasp", offering all kinds of brilliant size-shifting action scenes. They also showed the new superpowered suits for both Paul Rudd's Scott Lang and Evangeline Lilly's Hope van Dyne. Yes, Lang will have a new suit, which will be necessary to the story. Reed named it the "3.0" suit. - Waititi revealed that his cameo in "Thor: Ragnarok" would be a mo-cap role, as he'll portray Korg, a character from the "Planet Hulk" comic book. The presence of Miek was also confirmed via footage that Waititi personally shown to the press. - On a separate place, concept art for Josh Brolin's Thanos in"Avengers: Infinity War" could be seen. Oddly, that's all there is for the movie. It's likely that things are being tightly wrapped for this production, to avoid giving early spoilers to the press. After all, the title of UNTITLED 2019's Avengers movie alone, might already be considered one. - Although not yet called official, a mockup costume of Brie Larson's Carol Danvers for "Captain Marvel" can be spotted on the studio. It seems to be taking cues from the comics, so fans can rest assured. For detailed description of this tentative Captain America-esque design, you can head over to Screen Rant. Also, the plan is for the movie to begin production in February 2018, as a female director might have already been selected to helm the movie. I guess we'll just have to wait for Marvel Studios to officially announce her to public. - In the Q&A, Feige stated his stance on R-rated superhero movies, and how Marvel Studios is unlikely to venture that route. He refused to comment on how Warner Bros is doing with their DC Extended Universe. But he himself admitted to be a fan of DC characters, so naturally he wishes them to do well. It's the kind of generous move I can only hope, someday could be replicated by those generally bullish folks at WB/DC, as impossible as that might seem. Feige even shared his enthusiasm and support for Joss Whedon's DC project, revealing that the former MCU consultant actually talked to their team about doing "Batgirl", waaay before the news went public! Now that's what I call respect... am I right? - Last but not least, Feige confirmed that Tom Holland's Peter Parker, will also appear in the currently UNTITLED 2019's Avengers movie. He said the deal with SONY has been extended until the already-announced sequel of "Homecoming" that's coming in 2019, but what happens afterwards remains in question for the time being. Oh, and that Marvel Studios does NOT have anything to do with any of the announced Spider-Man spin-offs (like "Venom" or "Black Cat & Silver Sable"). So obviously, those titles won't take place in the MCU. To those who are still wondering about that, there's your valid answer.
This event, as well as that report from 4Chan that I've mentioned earlier, will undeniably make any MCU fans happy. Of course, I actually don't need to remind you, but don't forget to book your tickets for "Vol. 2" that will arrive real soon. And this was just in several hours ago, but despite the existence of Disney D23, Marvel Studios is NOT skipping out San Diego Comic Con (SDCC) this Summer (held on July 20th to July 23rd)! That means, we can get more news surrounding the upcoming movies like "Ragnarok", "Black Panther", "Infinity War", and perhaps the confirmation of who will be directing "Captain Marvel". Maaan, it's such a good time to be Marvel Studios fans, am I right?
Star Wars
Star Wars Celebration 2017 (SWCO 2017) was held last week from April 13th to 16th, 2017, and as many had expected, some key information about the franchise were delivered.
The long-awaited, and much-anticipated first teaser for "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" has been released. I personally thought it looked okay, and somehow looking more ominous than 2015's "The Force Awakens". But of course, I'm not a huge Star Wars fans, so I don't think I'm qualified to judge this. It seems to be focusing more on Daisy Ridley's Rey, as she trains under the guidance of Mark Hamill's Luke Skywalker. Perhaps, this movie is serving as some kind of Hamill's swan song in the franchise? Much like how "The Force Awakens" had Harrison Ford exited in a high note? Will we get to know more about Rey's back story? Who her parents are? It's currently unclear if writer/director Rian Johnson will be able to accomplish the same critical and financial success to J.J. Abrams. His enthusiasm did look comforting, but as always, we'll have to wait and see whether he'll deliver when the movie arrives later this year on December 15, 2017.
What truly stole the attention of almost every (if not all) attendees during the event, was none other than a strong melancholic tribute to the late Carrie Fisher. A special tribute video was released online in accordance to this, and although it didn't have as much effect on me, I'm sure "Star Wars" fans would appreciate it a lot better. In their own "Star Wars" way. As a follow up to this, Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy announced that the late actress will not appear, as in digitally inserted, as General Leia in the upcoming Episode IX. That means Episode VIII or "The Last Jedi", which was Fisher's last movie before her untimely passing on December 2016, would certainly be her final "Star Wars" appearance in the franchise. This helped clarified the previous report, when Carrie's brother Todd and daughter Billie Lourd stated their permission for Disney and Lucasfilm to use her footage for the 2019 movie. Kennedy assured fans, that we will be seeing "a lot of Carrie" this December. While some fans have indeed expressed grieve and disappointments about this decision, some others agreed with Kennedy, that it was the right thing to do to honor the late actress.
On the TV side, comes a surprising announcement for fans. "Star Wars REBELS" is ending in its next, 4th season. Yep, this is the primary reason why this category is suddenly sitting in the borderline of movie and TV, because it goes both ways. Series co-creator and executive producer Dave Filoni, brought this news himself to the audience, accompanied by core cast members like Freddie Prinze, Jr., Vanessa Marshall, Taylor Gray, Tiya Sircar, and Steve Blum. He stated that adventure for Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger, and their Rebel 'family' will come to a close in 15 episodes, and that it's going to be "A little dark, a little fun". Filoni admitted that ending the show was his decision, learning from unpleasant experience with "Star Wars: The Clone Wars". Eventhough "REBELS" is ending, Filoni did state that there will be more animated "Star Wars" stories in the future.
To be honest, considering the in-show developments that's getting more and more colossal for a TV budget, I didn't find this news to be THAT surprising. Although interestingly, this thing always happen everytime I'm on the verge of dropping a series. LOL. No really, I thought Season 3 ended in a good note, and I'm going to leave it at that. Knowing that the next is going to be the last season, obviously I've changed my plan. Of course, I do feel curious about where or how this show cannonically fits in between the movies. According to popular knowledge, it takes place before the events of the "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope". As far as I know (mind you, I'm still Star Wars illiterate, so pardon if I'm mistaken), there aren't any active Jedi present until Luke Skywalker become one in the movie. While apparently, Hera and Chopper are mentioned to be stationed on Yavin 4 in "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story". Does this mean Kanan and Ezra will meet their demise in the final season? Hmmmm, intriguing.
Through SWCO's special panel for the series, the voice actors talked about what will happen to their characters. Marshall said, that members of the Ghost will be "pressed to the very edges of their ability". Perhaps we might see her Hera Syndulla gets promoted to General, as revealed in "Rogue One" then? Blum's Zeb Aurellios is taking more of an uncle-figure, to what I assume to be Ezra. Filoni said that Chopper will get to show his "bigger heart" in this last season, considering he has been seen as cranky and grumpy in the previous three. Obviously, Sabine Wren will be dealing with her Mandalorian Civil War, as was hinted in the finale of Season 3. Sircar hesitated to say much about it, but teased that things might get ugly for her family, especially when a certain 'familiar' someone arrives. And by familiar, perhaps... the elusive Boba Fett? Prinze Jr. said Kanan will slowly evolve into the strong Jedi, joining the ranks that audience have seen before. Gray certainly said that his Ezra will make some great decisions this season, away from the dark side.
As for the guest characters, Forest Whitaker will reprise his role as the voice of Saw Gerrera. Saw's co-pilot Two Tubes will joining him this season. Genevieve O'Reilly, will be reprising Mon Mothma as well. We can presumably expect more "Rogue One" stars, jumping in for a quick inclusion. Ahsoka Tano's return is being teased, but not properly confirmed. Finally, Grand Admiral Thrawn's bodyguard Rukh, is also set to make his debut in the series. Warwick Davis will be voicing this role. Hints of these developments weren't specifically felt through the Final Season's official trailer that has been made available on Youtube, but it sure promised a serious, conclusive, and definitely explosive finale to the series. The first two-parter episodes entitled "The Heroes of Mandalore" have already been screened exclusively for attendees. Fans of the series, or those who ended up watching it like yours truly, should anticipate the return of the fourth and final season later when it premiere this Fall on Disney XD.
Marvel TV
Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." gained a boost of interest due the final arc of its currently airing 4th season, "The Framework". Despite that achievement though, in general the continuously declining ratings for Marvel's first MCU-oriented TV show remains a lingering concern. And it is made worse because the network, ABC, tends to not announce renewal for its shows until sometime in May. May 16th, 2017 to be precise, though individual confirmation might always arrive earlier than that schedule.
The good news is, Entertainment Weekly evaluated the possibility for most running shows with 'uncertain future', and deduced that at the very least, AoS will be given another season, even if just only one more. I think it's a good idea, as the showrunners are given the chance to conclude their run in a satisfying manner, tying up all the loose ends. The bad news is, with Marvel's "The Inhumans" stealing the network's attention, there's always the unexpected turnaround of AoS eventually getting axed early on, to clear out some excess baggage and schedule. After all, we've experienced this before with both the cancelled Marvel's "Agent Carter", and Marvel's "Most Wanted" that never even saw the light of day.
I'm aware that some, if not many fans would feel disappointed with this decision. Particularly when other networks are still on a hot-streak, as they renew their superhero shows over and over again no matter how the audience perceived them. But I for one, will not feel as bad if AoS eventually gets cancelled, or given just one final season. Looking on the bright side, the absence of AoS can pave the way for spin off shows like perhaps, Ghost Rider, or the actual Secret Warriors. Not to mention, any members of the AoS cast can then move on to star in a Marvel Studios' big screen production, right? No more scheduling issues that prevented the two divisions from properly crossing over. That would all be cleared up with the series' end. Mind you, things are not yet certain for now. Filming for Season 4 had already wrapped the other day, so I doubt even the showrunners and cast can tell anything in advance regarding their show's future. So whether you're rooting for the show or not, you better start crossing your fingers, to hope the best, while expecting the worse possible outcome as well.
As for "The Inhumans", it's also still unclear whether this 8-episode mini series will be a first season of more to come, or just this one off. It's likely that this new show is being set up as the replacement for AoS, but with Marvel Studios also planning a movie for them, things just become a little cloudy and murky to predict. One thing for sure, the mini-series might have recently cast actor Chad James Buchanan in a mystery role. Buchanan tweeted this hint, and then later deleted it, implying that he might be playing an important role. Considering I have poor knowledge on the Inhumans comics and its character, and also unfamiliar with Buchanan's previous roles (was he really in "Glee"? I honestly can't remember), I can't exactly predict who he'll be playing. Or whether he's any good. Perhaps an antagonist? A NuHuman, like writer Charles Soule had confirmed? Then again, it's always possible that he's just playing a random one-episode only character, not unlike Lewis Tan in "Iron Fist". So perhaps it would be wiser to not think too highly of him too soon.
Netflix
With Marvel's "The Punisher" effectively in post-production, we can expect promotional stuff for the new series pretty soon. Particularly as SDCC 2017 is coming in just around 3 months from now, and the high chance of Marvel TV's presence. One of the more likely giveaway to be handed over during the event, might very well be that one specially designed poster coming from the hands of Joe Quesada. For the time being, it's a freebie handed out to cast and crew, but I suspect fans are going to get a hand of it pretty soon as well. Quesada did a similar poster before this for Marvel's "The Defenders", and likewise, this poster gives us glimpse of Jon Bernthal's main character Frank Castle, as well as his supporting cast. You can check out MCU Exchange for their description of who's who in this poster.
It seems this show would be taking extra liberties, thus many things would be vastly different compared to the comics. MCU Exchange pointed out, that Ben Barnes' Billy Russo might not be set up as an antagonist. At least, not until the first season ends. Which isn't that much surprising, since we've seen the same slow-burn treatment in previous Marvel-Netflix shows, with Sacha Dhawan's Davos being the latest example. The good news is, we can stare at Barnes' charming face a lot longer before his character, assuming it's going by the book, gets roughed up to jigsaws. But the bad news of this approach? Well, it seems that once again, this show would be using the exact same pattern and premise of the previous shows, which might or might not work for everyone. Especially those who have sensed a repetitive painstakingly SLOOOW formula that's starting to make them feel... 'bored' with the Netflix Universe. Yes, I'll be honest, I'm one of those people. I'm personally hoping at least "The Punisher" will offer something fresh and different, to break new grounds, and not go through the exact same motions, scenarios, and story beats of its older brothers. Otherwise, I might just have to say no to it...
The Telltale Series
Telltale released a trailer for the first episode of "Guardians of the Galaxy" via Marvel's official channel. As far as I know, there will be 5 episodes just like previous Telltale titles, so there are four more coming after this. Clearly this release is timed real well to coincide with the worldwide premiere of "Vol. 2". The Guardians seems to be taking on Thanos in this series, but it's unclear if it will include more characters inspired by the movie. Anyways, Guardians, and in general, Marvel fans should look forward for this. I'm still a bit taken aback thanks to the character designs, but when it comes to video games, it's really the gameplay that really counts. So I'm wishing it will have better luck in that department.
Ace Attorney
Through their recent Nintendo Direct, the company announced that "Dai Gyakuten Saiban 2: Naruhodou Ryuunosuke no Kakugo", or translated as "The Great Ace Attorney 2: Ryunosuke Naruhodo’s Resolution", will be available for Nintendo 3DS on August 3rd, 2017 for 5,800 yen retail-price, or 5,546 download-price. As a follow up to said announcement, CAPCOM officially released two new trailers for the game's new trailer. The first featured Sherlock and Van Ziek, while the second put Sherlock and Iris Watson in the spotlight.
A web demo has been made available through the title's official Japanese website, accessible on PC and smartphones. If you prefer to simply watch, then there are some gameplay videos you can watch online instead. You can found them on Youtube, through this link and this one. CAPCOM has listed story and character details, like Ryuunosuke's cousin Ryuutarou, and the case he'll be involved with. The company also offered several exclusive bonuses for those who purchased the game early. You can read these through the official site though it requires a bit of Japanese Kanji knowledge, or via Gematsu for the translated version. There are also two Special Edition sets: - The Great Ace Attorney 1&2 Limited Edition: Ryunosuke Naruhodo’s Adventure and Resolution, that will launch on August 3rd, 2017 for 7,200 yen. This will include both games, as well as a mini soundtrack album. Those who haven't purchased the first title might opt to take this one due to the discount price. - The Great Ace Attorney 2 e-Capcom Limited Edition, that will launch on August 3rd, 2017 for 9,800 yen. Pre-orders has begun on April 18th at 13:00 JST. This will include "Read Aloud CD" featuring the characters of the game, a Ryunosuke Naruhodo piggy bank, a "University Notebook", and a set of three pencils. Three exclusive coasters will be awarded to the first prints. This one's obviously for the Ace Attorney enthusiasts and item collectors.
Professor Layton
LEVEL-5's latest project in the popular mystery-puzzle series, the one that will feature Layton's daughter, has been officially renamed into "Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and The Millionaires' Conspiracy" (it was previously called "Lady Layton: The Millionaire Ariadne's Conspiracy"). A release date has also been announced. This new game will arrive on July 20th, 2017, for Nintendo 3DS in Japan, and on iOS and Android worldwide (available in eight languages). It seems the non-Japan version of Nintendo 3DS will arrive later in Fall, though that part is left unclear for now. Also currently unclear, is the pricing of the game.
As already revealed before, Katrielle Layton and her assistant, the dog Sharo, are the main characters of this game. She will go on a quest to locate her missing father, the great Professor Hershel Layton. London-based Katrielle is said to be "jack-of-all-trades and mystery-solving detective", someone who will take on any job and solve cases with bizarre ideas. While Sharo, is a... well, talking dog. There's going to be a new gameplay style with the hope of attracting new players, as solving smaller conundrums and puzzles is now necessary to complete a bigger goal. Thus the tagline for the game is "high-speed comical puzzle-solving story". Despite that, interactions with witty and weird characters will still remain the same, as the game divulges into a story of "dramatic developments and amusing incidents". Ain't that sound interesting! Well you can see it for yourself through the game's latest trailer. Looks familiar but also different, eh? I wonder how expensive this will cost, because I sure would want to play it. Even if only to find out what happens to Layton, and the identity of Katrielle's mother... XD.
Sonic the Hedgehog
A quick 1-minute footage for "Sonic Forces" also made its way through Nintendo Direct. This time around we get to see Classic Sonic in action. But not just that, the announced third character has been teased at the end of this footage as well. And... is that Tails? He looks like a cat or something like that, and it is said to be a 'New Friend', so definitely not Tails. Which begs the question... for a game that features two different timeline of Sonic the Hedgehogs, why would an external character becoming the third playable lead? Why not just give the spot to... say, Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, or his other friends? Hmmm... curious.
Aside from previewing a cool futuristic main theme for "Sonic Forces", SEGA also debuted a new gameplay video for "Sonic Mania". This video showcased the co-op mode, with the female host playing Tails, as the two character scoured their way through 'Green Hill Zone' Act 2. Fans of the 8-bit era titles will be nostalgically delighted with this title. "Sonic Mania" is set to be released this summer for the PS4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, and PC, while "Sonic Forces" is due out this holiday.
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