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#I made the mistake of checking in on this one group of fans I know and remembered why I left them all
izupie · 1 year
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also for the love of god don't be self deprecating over and over and over about your own writing as a joke
it's not funny ! it's not cute !
sure we all like to joke haha my writing is garbage but if you do it constantly it can be so so bad for you. you won't even realise when it stops being a joke inside your own head. if you're always criticising the way you write, even for the funnies, it can take all the joy out of it before you've even noticed. plus everyone around you will stop finding it funny very quickly, even if they don't say it out loud. trust me.
if you tell me you don't like your fic or the way you write, why will I decide I do??
if you're addicted to the validation of someone going 'nooo your writing is amazing!' then you need to address that because that's going to be a problem and you need to find a way out of that hole because it's not. good. for. you.
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rayaswrittings · 6 months
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I just want to feel
Pairing: Colby Brock x Fem!best friend!reader
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Summary: your best friends, Sam and Colby, ask you to be in one of their Q&A videos, but there’s alcohol involved… a lot of it.
Warning(s): SMUT! Mature Language, mature themes, kissing, alcohol, unprotected p in v, Friends to lovers trope :)), choking etc.
This is a long writing so I’m sorry for mistakes!
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“Are you sure I should be in the video? I mean, your fans barely know about me” You ask for a final time as Sam leads you to the living room, his recording camera already set up in front of the couch where Colby had been sitting. The two of them were wearing all black so you did too, a black off the shoulder sweater that was old. It was one of the main things you’d leave at Sam and Colby’s in case you ever crashed for the night.
While most people would kill to be in their videos, you never really saw the point. You were somewhat camera shy and a complete nobody. Why would anyone care to see you on the screen? Not to mention all the random internet ships that come with it all. You grew up with Sam, which means you ultimately grew up with Colby as soon as they met. You were only a teenager and now that your adults, you stay at theirs from time to time when your out with friends and get wasted at a party.
Colby would always come and get you from them.
“Our fans will love you. Just be honest and chill, okay?” Sam nods toward Colby and you walk past him to sit next to the dark haired boy, his strong cologne filling your nose.
“Don’t be nervous, at least we have alcohol” Colby’s comment made a small laugh escape from your lips, and you shook your head at his playful smirk. He was right. Alcohol always calmed you down and made your anxiety a little bit less of what it usually was.
You watch the blonde lean forward to turn on the camera and Colby does the same, although you sit back and watch them do their intro. You’d only been in a few other videos of there’s as a small guest but they always made it known to their fans who you were. After all, you all basically started off nobody’s together.
You remember the last morning you had left for school with Sam in freshman year. It was the last day you’d left alone with him for the rest of high school. Your parents were close to each other so you and Sam had practically known each other for most of your lives, but that day, when he met Colby, it wasn’t just the two of you anymore.
The three of you would take the bus together every morning and walk home every afternoon, spending almost every second in between still with one another. It was perfect. Your group was so refreshing, it felt so right.
Your first argument was when you were in junior year, at a party you knew you shouldn’t of been at.
At the time, you’d been talking to this senior, James. He was the captain of your schools swim team and fairly muscular for his 17 years of age. That night at the party was the first time you’d really done anything, he kept handing you shots and like an idiot, you took them. Looking back on it now, you know it could’ve been avoided, but you also trusted the boy you liked. You truly wanted to just fit in with his friends.
That was until he tried to to undo your crochet top in the middle of the dance floor, whispering dirty nothings into your ear that made you feel disgusting.
When you told him off, he got angry with you, grabbing your arm and trying to pull you away so he could get you alone. People were starting to stare and you were starting to get embarrassed, like you were some random slut he’d been taking upstairs.
But then he was ripped away from you, and in only a matter of seconds, Sam’s hand was laid on the small of your back, checking you for bruises the boy might’ve given you. He was trying to talk to you, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the chaos on the floor.
“Colby, get off of him!” You scream, noticing the blood coming from James’s face. Colby was on top of him, punching him the hardest you’d ever seen anyone punch, not sparing him anything. Sam held you back when you tried to get close, they saw what he did to you and there was no way in hell they’d let it slide.
The sound of police sirens fill the street and everyone is quickly running out of the house, and finally Colby stands up. He wipes his now busted lip before looking back at his two friends, but you couldn’t take your eyes off the bloody mess laid on the floor.
You hated blood.
“Y/N-“ you push yourself off Sam and past Colby, looking out the window to watch the police cars pull in front of the house. It looked like a murder scene, and you were so in shock you couldn’t even think straight. “Y/N, we have to go” Colby tries to grab your arm but you quickly pull it away, and now he’s able to see the tears streaming down your cheeks.
“Get out of here!” You can hear the officers radio the closer they get, and all you could think about was getting Sam and Colby out of there. “Go! Please just go!” Your pleading words make it almost impossible to not listen, and with only a few more seconds, your friends were gone.
That was the day you realized the severity of your friendship— or at least you and Colby’s friendship. The fact that all of you would do anything for each other, whether that was beating up an abuser, or putting your life on the line for the other person.
Ever since then, you and Colby had this undeniable tension between the two of you. It was weird, like something you couldn’t figure out. It was only made purely visible that night.
You’d never even kissed Colby, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about it sometimes. Your usually able to hide it, your desire for the boy, except when your at parties.
Whenever you drink, it’s like everything has to come out the way you think it. Nothing like liquid courage, huh? That’s the exact reason you didn’t want to do the video.
You never stopped thinking about that night.
“Y/N?” You blinked at the touch against your arm, and Colby was looking at you with a slight confusion on his face. “You okay?” You notice the camera’s recording light and nod, sitting up with a smile. “I think it’s time to get drunk, huh?” He nudged you and you nod with a laugh “first question!”
One of your other friends was there reading the questions for you, and even though you thought you’d start off light, she did not give you a break.
“What’s the worst doing the dirty experience you’ve had?” Sam and Colby stare at each other for a second until one of them laughs, shaking their head with the dumbest response. Sam, of course makes a joke out of it but Colby has no shame in what he says, as always.
“One time I had a girl use a lot of teeth, and uh… we never talked again. It was very awkward” Sam hisses at the statement, which makes you laugh too. “What about you, Y/N?” Colby turns to you and your face almost turns red from the sudden eyes on you. Everyone in the room and the camera was waiting on you now.
“Uh… I guess the last time I was talking to a guy. I had to fake the whole thing and he finished quick so it just felt so awkward and it was silent the rest of the night” Colby and Sam raise their eyebrows at you but are laughing at the same time. They knew who you were talking about.
“Colby, why do you post with girls on social media and never tell the fans what’s going on?” The question takes all of you by surprise and Colby’s eyes go wide. That was exactly what happened with you and why you didn’t want to be on the channel that much anymore.
“Umm…” He laughs nervously, looking over at you for a split second. “Because sometimes, I don’t know what’s going on, alright? I’m just posting the post and maybe it turns into something or maybe it doesn’t?”
“It’s not like their your girlfriend” Sam interjects and Colby nods agreeably.
“Let’s just say if I had a girlfriend, you guys would know” After you guys are done with that question, your kind of sitting back and watching the two answer at that point. Except they had to drink once so you did too, now you were all one shot in.
“Colby, why do you have a pair of handcuffs in your room?” Everyone’s face is in shock in the room as they look at Colby, waiting for his answer. He laughs nervously again, looking over at same with wide eyes before sitting up.
“I uh… you know I-“
“Might have to drink on that one, huh?” You tease and he rolls his eyes at your words with a laugh, closing the alcohol bottle he was about to open.
“No, no. I um… I use them for personal fun. Yeah, that’s-“
“What the fuck does that mean” You and Sam burst out laughing but your friend shakes her head. “Judge says no. Drink!” Sam hands him the bottle and Colby’s face is now turning a slight red. A tint only you could see because of how close you were.
“I’ve used them for sexual fun” He says just as he’s about to pour the shot, but your friend rolls her eyes and nods that he doesn’t have to drink.
“That was luck” Colby nudges your arm and shrugs, that annoying smirk of his only making you laugh.
“Name two dirty kinks you have” The girl reads and all three of you are wide eyeing the camera. Sam curses under his breath and Colby is still in shock. It was still so early in the game, already?
“Wait, I’m not answering that. I already said one, right?” Sam agrees to Colby but the judge shakes her head. “Just one more then? I already day said one!”
“You go first, Y/N” Sam cuts off his clearly pressured friend and they both turn to you, but your face is an even deeper red then Colby’s now.
“Um… I don’t—I mean it’s been a long time so I don’t really know…”
“Oh come on, Everyone has them” Colby teases and you glare at him, letting out a sigh as you sat back on the couch.
Apart of you was afraid to tell them, because you’d never really been that open with them about sexual preferences. Sam wasn’t the one you were worried about, him and Katrina were perfectly locked in with each other and you knew whatever you said didn’t matter.
But with Colby, there was always this unspoken tension between the two of you. One you tried to ignore but always failed terribly when you’d see him make out with another girl. You were afraid he’d see right through you if you answered the question, and if there was one thing you couldn’t ignore,
It was the way he’d look at you.
“I think… I think choking is attractive, but like not too aggressively, you know?”
“So your submissive?” Colby’s words go through your ear and straight down. He was clearly trying to get to you with that question, and there it was again.
The tension between the two of you.
“Sometimes” You try to cover it up but you can feel his eyes piercing right through you, his smirk showing the small of his pearly white teeth that always made you blush. “What about you then, hmm? Mr. Talk shit” You push his face and the two of them laugh, but Colby is no longer embarrassed to say it.
“I like to be Dominant” He says to the camera and Sam blows air from his mouth, shake his head in disbelief. Colby isn’t looking at you on purpose. Oh god, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
You lean back on the couch, scratching your nose to try and hide your burning hot cheeks from everyone’s eyes. It was like he was doing it on purpose. He was so clearly teasing you.
And you wished it wasn’t working, but it’s been so long that it’s impossible for your stomach not to twist into multiple knots.
Or at least that’s the excuse you gave yourself.
After many more questions and many more drinks, the alcohol started to take a toll on all three of you already. You had only had three shots and even the camera was hard to focus on. Sam and Colby’s eyes had been getting red but yours were harder to see because of your eyelashes.
“Who do you think is the most attractive clubhouse member besides Kat” Colby and your own eyes go wide and you both stare at Sam. Obviously he couldn’t answer that, but neither could you, right?
“None! Sorry, gotta drink to that. Can’t answer cause it ain’t true” Sam sasses the camera while opening the bottle. Colby laughs, both of you applauding your friend.
“Yeah, I’m gonna drink to that one as well” Colby reaches down to grab the other bottle from the floor, pouring it into his shot glass. “I can’t answer that, but I do have someone in mind” he cheers to the camera and his words alone make your stomach twist once again. It definitely wasn’t you, but saying something like that… after the other questions..
“What about you, Y/N?” The girl asks as the boys down their own shots. She raises an eyebrow, “might as well give us something here, right?” As much as you wanted to decline and run away embarrassed, you could feel the liquid courage increasing.
The way everyone looked at you, they all knew who it was. You leaned back with a huff, you could feel Colby’s eyes on you the entire time you were stalling, but when you looked at him, his eyes pierced through you.
“I think… I think I’ll drink too” Sam and Colby boo at you when you pour the shot. You couldn’t do it. He didn’t either so that must mean he doesn’t… feel the same, Right?
“I can’t even see the camera anymore, dude” Sam laughs at Colby’s words. Sam has more shots then the two of you so you’d imagine he’d be the one saying it, but of course it was Colby.
Maybe that’s why he was looking at you like that..
Towards the end of the video, all three of you were pretty drunk. Sam was the least, you were in the middle, and Colby… Jesus. Colby was so drunk.
“Fuck, man” Colby lays his head on the end table for just a second, you could tell his head was spinning. You rub his back, his body temperature is very warm. You look over to Sam and nod toward the camera, and Sam immediately understands.
“Maybe we should take a small break?”
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“Where are you going?” You ask Sam, watching him put on his jacket and grab his keys. You finished the video about 30 minutes ago and Colby was on the couch watching tv, while you had just changed into night clothes which really were only comfy shorts and a crop top like usual.
“I have to go stay at Kat’s tonight. We’re heading to her parents tomorrow morning” You hum, pouring a glass of water for yourself and one for Colby. You had forgotten Sam was going away for a few days. “Try not to have too much fun while I’m gone” You stop and look at him with slightly furrowed brows, but he’s just raising his eyebrows with a shrug, leaving you with the confusion of his statement.
He doesn’t… he can’t know, right? You weren’t that obvious.
“Water?” Your voice is enough to catch Colby’s attention from the tv. He was watching some random scary movie it looked like but you’d never seen it so you weren’t completely sure. You hand him the water and take a seat next to him, leaving a gap between the two of you. You had thought the tension would be gone by now but it clearly wasn’t, you could only hope it was just your overthinking.
“What’s up with you? You were being weird the whole video” His question makes you somewhat relieved. Maybe he didn’t suspect anything, maybe it really was all just in your own head—but how were you meant to explain you couldn’t focus because of how badly you wanted him. Even now, he was leaned back on the couch, his hair messy from running his hands through it and his tattoos on full display for you to look at. Jesus, it felt like torture.
Why did you have to get drunk?
“I just didn’t feel good” You shrug, looking over at the tv and tilting the glass of water toward your lips. You can feel his eyes on you, waiting for you to give him a real answer but he doesn’t push you. He only takes a sip of his water, turning back to the movie.
“Are you going home tonight?” You glance at the clock, it’s already 11. Should you? You have a room here, you didn’t really need to.
But did he want you to?
“I was planning on staying but if you don’t want me to-“
“I want you to stay” Your stomach twists, with excitement and somewhat nervousness at the same time. He was being direct but he wasn’t even looking at you. You wanted to stay and watch the movie with him, but the more you looked at him, the more the drunken side of you just wanted to kiss him.
You wanted him.
“Come here” You hesitate for a few seconds before placing your drink back on the glass table in front of you, moving to sit closer to the boy. His arm was laid on the back of the couch and he opens the blanket he’d been using to you. He wanted you close.
Your practically curled next to him by the middle of the movie, head laid in the crook of his neck and your legs sitting on top of his own. Not much had been said all movie, but Colby was getting more and more touchy as it went on.
His fingers traced shapes on your bare legs under the blanket, the cold metal of his rings sometimes brushing against your skin. He made it seem so normal, like it was an every day thing the two of you did together.
But this only made you so much hornier.
His scent radiates from his neck, and it was almost as if you wanted to kiss his neck right then and there. It was so alluring—He was so alluring to you.
And he knew it.
“Do you want to tell me why you were really acting weird today?” He asks again, looking down at the tent his hand made under the blanket while he caressed your leg.
You bite your bottom lip, looking at the blanket as well. You could feel the tingling feeling between your legs as his hand touched you farther, as if he had been testing the waters before actually saying anything.
“Colby…” You can’t help but pull your legs even closer together, and that alone is all he needed to tell him how you felt. “Not everything needs an explanation. It’s just… complicated”
“Complicated, huh?” He hums sarcastically, in a knowing form. You bite your lip as you watch him rub his temple, frustration radiating off of him. “You know, For the longest time, I tried to let this whole thing go out of respect for you, Y/N” He mumbled, his voice low and husky with passion. God, he sounded so hot. Even if he was upset, you just couldn’t help yourself. “I always thought it would be you and Sam” He lets out a huffed chuckle, still keeping his eyes on his lap. “But I want it to be me”
What?
No. He isn’t… he doesn’t mean what you think, right? Colby Brock isn’t confessing his feelings for you, right?
“Colby, what’s wrong with you?” His body tenses when you ask that stupid question. What’s wrong with him? Like you didn’t know.
“What’s wrong with me? What about you?” He finally turns his head to look at you, his drunken, sad and very horny eyes staring lasers into yours. “You can’t seriously sit here and believe yourself when you ask me that question” You couldn’t think. You didn’t even move for awhile because of your lack of words or thoughts for that matter. You wanted to give in, but you were also so terrified of if it wasn’t real.
“Colby, I’m not the person you want. Trust me, you will figure that out soon enough” He scoffs as you get off the couch, trying to at least relieve some of the tension between the two of you. Colby was so tired of waiting, but you were just too scared.
“How do you know what I want? You’ve barely spoke to me the past few weeks!” The boy calls after you when your walking away from the couch, his voice only makes you stop. “You’ve been weird for weeks, Y/N. Don’t ask me what’s wrong with me when you can’t even tell me how you feel”
“Colby, I don’t know how I feel!” You turn around with frustration, staring at the back of his head. He was still sat on the couch, and part of you hoped he stayed there—but another part wanted him to go after you. “I haven’t just been distant because of you-“
“That’s such bullshit and you know it” He stands, turning to look at you. You were far too drunk for this. You could feel the unnecessary tears already filling your eyes, you didn’t want to argue with him. “Look me in my eyes and tell me that—then I’ll let it go”
“Can we please just talk about this tomorrow-“
“You know what I think? I think your just scared of feeling weak. Your scared of letting someone in, Y/N. And the past few weeks we’ve been getting closer than before, that’s why your distant now. That’s your biggest weakness” Colby scoffs, grabbing his jacket off the couch and slipping it on with ease. You furrow your eyebrows as he walks toward you, and past you.
You grab his arm, “Colby, your drunk. Don’t go out, Please” he’s avoiding your eyes but you can see the chisel on his jaw, clenching with what you thought had been anger. “I don’t know how to do this, Colby. I… I can’t even bring myself to say the words I want to say to you” He tears his arm away from you, snatching his keys from the countertop. No. You couldn’t let it end like that—not when you have so much to say. “Okay, fine!”
“You want the truth, Colby? For years all I felt for you for you, all in silence because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship with Sam and Each other. I watched you with other girls since we were juniors! I couldn’t stand you, but yet I also couldn’t stand to be without you. Everywhere I go, I always want you with me—and when i’d see you with other girls, it would make me feel stupid, like my feelings meant nothing to you even if you didn’t know”
“How was I supposed to tell you that? How was I supposed to tell you that even after everything that’s happened, I still can’t stop loving you!” Your confession slips like words of anger said in an heated argument. Colby still wasn’t looking at you, which only made your heart ache even worse. You just poured your heart out to him—couldn’t he at least look at you?
“When you got put in the hospital during senior year, I was there every fucking second with you! I cried, Colby! I was a mess for days, and Sam was the one who had to juggle the two of us!” You remembered that day like it was yesterday. The day you’d gotten into a huge argument with Sam about your feelings for Colby. Sam always knew of both your feelings, but he didn’t say anything to the other. If you were going to admit, it had to be to each other. “I’m usually so good at hiding how I feel, but I’m getting so tired of it. The Same repeating cycle I just-“
“Why didn’t you just tell me, Y/N. Why didn’t you-“
“Are you serious? After all those talks we had about you not caring for a relationship and not wanting a future with someone? You were practically telling me no! I wanted to tell you but then you started going to parties more and kissing girls and-“
“Y/N”
“It hurt me, Colby. That’s why I didn’t tell you. It would physically hurt my chest to see you kiss another girl after flirting with me for DAYS. You played with my head and I know I played with yours too but-“
“Y/N, I’m-“
“No matter how hard I try or how many guys I find, there’s nothing for me. I can’t… I can’t move past you and it fucking sucks” You hadn’t even realized he moved until you were done talking. He was close now—close enough to hear his breathing if you’d been quiet enough. Your heart shatters with every passing moment that’s goes silent. You knew you couldn’t be the same after this, so you begged in your mind for him to say something.
Only he didn’t say anything, and for a moment you actually thought he’d leave you there alone.
But you two were meant to love each other, Remember?
A silent moan escapes your mouth as he crashes his lips into your own, the sound muffled by his. The kiss is filled with so much passion it could make one’s heart explode if you weren’t too careful, it felt like the two of you had been waiting years to do this.
Which you were.

After the first kiss, the two of you didn’t waste any time. Colby pulled you up, your legs wrapping around him as you continued to make out with the dark haired boy. His large hands cupped your ass, and soon enough you felt your back hit the cold wall. One of your hands were laid on the side of his neck while the other held the back of his hair, tugging on it slightly.
It had only been a few seconds ago you were sitting watching a movie—how in the hell did you both get here so quick?
He carried you to the couch, sitting down so you could straddle his lap instead of holding yourself up against his waist.
His hands release your ass and move up your back, slipping under your shirt to unclip your bra.
Colby smirks against your lips and removes his hand from your shirt, lifting your chin to pull away from the kiss. “Dirty girl” You hum as his lips attach to your neck, his comment making you all the more wet then you already were. You didn’t put a bra on—and Colby seemed to have really liked that you didn’t. “You make such pretty sounds—wish I could’ve heard them sooner”
You can feel the hardness under you, and the more you grind on him, the more you can feel his grip on you tighten. It didn’t hurt—it just turned you on even more.
“Colby, Please” You plead breathlessly. You wanted him to do more then just kiss your neck. You wanted him to take you to his room, to do everything he’d do to someone else. “You don’t have to be gentle with me” you tug his hair gently, meeting his lust filled eyes. You were desperate for him and you didn’t care, you’d waited since junior year to have your way with him—to have him want you.
“I’ll leave marks all over you, Y/N” he says in a slightly warning tone as if he didn’t want to completely destroy you in that moment, but you shake your head, grabbing his hand that slipped to the waistband of your sleeper shorts.
“I just want to feel something” You say in a tone he’d never heard you in before, one that made him want you even worse then before. You slip your hand off his own and place it on his chiseled chest, feeling the crease of his abs all the way down until you reached his belt. You wanted him, you just wanted him to know that. “I want to feel you, Colby. I want you”
“You want me to treat you like everyone else?” You hesitate but nod after a few seconds, slipping off his lap to stand to your feet. He stands in front of you, his height making a clear difference above you. His expression hadn’t changed yet, he was so hard to read. “I won’t do that, Y/N” Before you could say anything, he was already picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist again, crashing his lips back into yours as he made his way to his room.
This man… you didn’t know how to describe the feeling you had when he kissed you, but it was unlike anything you’d ever felt before. He was so different from everyone else you’d been with, and you didn’t know why.
You did. Deep down you knew why he made you feel the way he did. Colby was the only guy you truly wanted. Even when you had a boyfriend, you still wanted him instead.
He drops you onto his bed, removing his black wife beater and throwing it to the side, revealing his tattooed body you’ve grown to love looking at. He looked so good in this lighting, and the way his hair fell messy over his forehead—you couldn’t stop your thoughts from running wild.
“I want you, Y/N. I need to know I have all of you—that your only for me” You pick your head up to look at him briefly, fingers playing with the string of his pants. “I won’t treat you like some random slut when your not”
The feeling of his fingertips brushing against your skin made you shiver, it made you feel as if this might’ve not been real, maybe a dream after all. But after seeing his face and feeling his hand stop just above your waistline, everything felt at ease.
“I’ve always been yours, Colby Brock” That was all he needed to hear, all he needed to give into you.
And soon enough, here you were again, pinned against the bed while Colby’s hands grip your waist, peppering sweet kisses against your neck. You almost couldn't hold it in.
Your hand slowly found its way to the back of his neck, running your fingers through his hair as his wandering hands went right under your shorts. You knew what you were doing with the outfit, and it only made him laugh just thinking about it.
“Please, Colby. I don’t want you to hold back… I want you to give me all of you” you were smirking to yourself, biting your nail like this was somewhat funny to you. Colby didn’t see the appeal, if he was going to fuck you, he was going to ruin you for anyone else.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Y/N” He tells you with a sharp tone, moving to place his hands against the beds cloth, closing you between him. You smirk, looking him up and down once before looking back to his face.
“I’m tired of waiting” The two of you laid there, staring at the other for what felt like forever until He finally gave in, cursing himself under his breath before he grabbed your neck to pull you into a rough kiss. Your body is flush against his as he completely explores your body with his hands. You could feel his growing erection, you could feel his hunger for your body like he felt yours.
“Colby” You mumble in a breathless moan. His lips remove from yours and move to your jaw, hungrily peppering wet kisses down it, all the way to your neck.
“You are so fucking hot, Jesus” He groans against your ear, placing soft kisses on your sensitive skin. Your moans are what encourage him the most. Hearing your sweet whimpers in his ear as he sucked on your neck felt like a dream. Believe god, he’d had that dream many, many times before.
“I’ve waited so long for this” Your breathless under him, gripping his hair between your small fingers. You could feel his cock pressing against you, begging for your tongue. It was big—he was so fucking big. It should’ve scared you but you were more intrigued, grinding your hips against his to gain some friction with the little time you had before he stopped your bratty movements.
“I know you have” He teases and you only roll your eyes, grabbing his hand that held you steady against him. You could feel his lips brushing your skin, he wanted to mark you, and you wanted him to. You wanted Colby Brock to let everyone know you were his.
“Nothings stopping me from walking out that door” You hum, holding his head and slightly pushing it down so his lips reattached to your neck. “I’ll find someone else—someone who hasn’t played with me for years” A grunt escapes his mouth as if he had been fighting with the feeling, shaking his head between your neck before meeting your eyes again; your bratty, untamed eyes.
“You’ve waited so long I thought? So long your body even reacts when I look at you” He’s so obviously joking and you love every second of it. Every word of degradation is like music to your ears, like a forbidden kink you didn’t know you had. “This is what you wanted, huh? All those looks you’d give me after I’d make out with randoms—you were so jealous, Sweetheart” Your ears are perking at his every word but your eyes were filled with annoyance. Colby knew now so why would you hide it? Hide your jealousy? “All those times, you could’ve just told me you wanted me and I would’ve given it all to you. Nobody else”
You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling you closer to his body then before with a smirk, shrugging your shoulders. “That doesn’t matter. I have you now” His eyes. Oh god, his eyes were so hungry. At first you didn’t know what to think but it only took you a few seconds to realize once his large arms were wrapped around your thighs, pulling your body close to him.
His chin sat against your stomach, staring up at you like he had been waiting for you to say something. But you didn’t know what he was planning until his thumb was ghosting around your clothed clit, that same smirk pulling at his lips as he watched you.
He slips your shorts off with ease, along with your black lace underwear, tossing them both to the side.
“Fuck” You breath heavily, leaning your head back against the sheets, not even realizing the boy under you was now fully under you. “S-shit!” Your hand fell clasp over your mouth to silence your moan, eyes falling back on him under you. Except now, his face was pressed into your dripping wet cunt, and his fingers teased what his mouth didn’t. “Fucking hell, Colby” You mumble under your unsteady breath, trying your hardest not to moan because he had just started and you didn’t want to seem weak.
But holy shit, this boy knew how to use his tongue.
Your hand fell atop his head in hopes to gain some sort of stability but that quickly failed, given how badly he was attacking your clit. His mouth was warm against you and you already knew you’d come soon. It was like he knew your body inside and out.
“I know your not holding back on me, are you?” His words vibrate against your cunt making you jolt, thankful his arms held you down so you wouldn’t squirm. Colby was in pure bliss under you, relishing in your sweet taste that so effortlessly painted his tongue. You were wet, your cunt was begging for more even if you were a crying mess above him, like it finally found what it had been longing for.
“I can take it” He chuckles at your attempt at retaliation but still manages to one up you, slipping two of his large, slender fingers inside you. “C-Colby, let me-“
“No” He only uttered one word but it was enough to make you listen like a trained dog, allowing your legs to tremble against his face. You could’ve taken it had you been prepared, but it had been far too long before any guy had done this to you.
“You taste so fucking good, Y/N” His fingers curl against your spongy walls, pushing his tongue against your clit quickly as your moan’s increased. It was so clear you were already on edge, about to let go without it being over five minutes. You find your pride slipping from you in a matter of seconds, begging the man to let you come as your fingers tug his hair. You couldn’t hold on, your legs were far too weak.
“Please, please—Colby, please” His ears are perking as you moan his name, begging for him, moaning for him. Normally, he’d take his time with you but now? He needed to release all that tension between the two of you from years ago, he knew he couldn’t last much longer. He needed to be inside of you, and for that exact reason is why he only sped up under you. “G-gonna come..!”
Your mind tried to come up with some sort of reason as to how you got yourself here, How you got your best friend between your legs, and definitely how you were about to fully submit yourself to this boy while your true feelings for each other were unknown. He was thinking the same thing; how did he get so lucky to have you above him?
“Let go for me, Pretty girl” In only seconds, you’re coming undone above him, legs almost falling weak as they shook from your release, sending shivers throughout your entire body. Colby’s still torturing your body, pumping his fingers into you at a faster pace. It was clear, he was trying to kill you.
“Colby!” You cry, gripping his hair with a begging tone. You couldn’t take it much longer. You had to push him away. Finally, after what felt like forever, he removed his tongue from you, letting his fingers slip from inside you. His strong arms are the only thing that held your legs still, and you could see your release painted on his chin once he looked up at you. “Holy shit” You curse under your breath, chest heaving as he stood to his feet. You look at the large man above you, noticing once again how he towers over you.
He bites his lip, admiring your perfect body that had been on almost full display for him. He leans down when you notice how hard he is, lifting your chin with the hand he hadn’t used on you.
You watch through your eyelashes as he sucks his finger clean from your release, biting his lip with a silent chuckle at how lovingly you looked at him. You grab his hand, pulling it closer to you until his other finger was pressed against your lips—to which you copied his action from before, staring into his dark eyes as you did.
“Good girl” He knew you liked that. It was so obvious—the way your legs clench together at his praise. He pulls his hand away and moves it to your neck, pressing a soft but sloppy kiss to your lips. You could taste yourself from him, and God… it was so fucking hot.
Your hand feels his body effortlessly until you reach his aching print, a small smile pulling at your lips against him.
“Let me” You mumble breathlessly, placing your hand over his cock. You could feel how desperate he had been for you, how badly he wanted you in that moment. His hand wraps around your throat firmly, pulling your lips to crash back into his own. He was so rough and impatient—you loved it.
“I need you. Right here, Right now” His voice is deep and makes your skin shiver, the way his hands touch you so delicately but with control. His room was slightly dark, only lit by the strip of LED’s above his bed frame.
“I want to be yours, Colby. Make me yours, please” Your words make his and your own stomach twist into knots, he almost felt bad. He waited so long to make the move, afraid he misread the signs, but he’d never admit that. You allow your hands to travel down his bare abs, feeling every chisel between the pads of your fingertips. When you reach his belt, you’re quick to help him tug his pants off, watching him with the most admiration.
“After we do this, everything will change” He looks at you once more, both of your hands laid on the waistband of his underwear. You lay your free hand on the side of his neck and use the other to touch him lower—right where he wanted you the entire time.
His breath shutters at your bare touch, something he’s wanted for so long was finally right in front of him. You were all he wanted and he prayed you ensue him just as much.
“I love you, Colby. There’s no change in that” You tell him truthfully, watching his eyes soften just before you pulled his face down to kiss his lips. Except this kiss had much more
meaning—the kiss after you’d admit your feelings for one another.
He leans you down, closing you between his large body and his bed, your hand is still pressed into his print, but he’s already slipping his underwear off by the time you can notice.
Fuck. He was going to ruin you.
Your hands cup his face when his tip presses against your entrance, slick coating it by the second. You wanted him for so long, you didn’t care if it hurt at first.
You just wanted him.
From the moment he pushed inside of you, the only feeling you could endure was love. He was slow, gentle to help you get used to his size. The boy peppers kisses to your neck as he pushed further, comforting your slightly pained moans that slip from your lips without warning.
“Mmm” You let out a soft moan once his tip is past your entrance, the hard part was now over. You look at him with your lips parted, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip. He pushes your hair out of your face before kissing you, and you weren’t prepared for when he pushed into you fully with one snap of his hips.
Your toes curled and your nails dug into his skin desperately, the feeling was almost indescribable. You just felt… full.
“Oh my god” You moan against his lips, throwing your head back as he strokes you slowly, massaging your thigh. You looked so perfect like this, so pretty in this light. Your body was almost bare for him, and your body was welcoming him with open arms—he couldn’t get enough of you. “Colbs…Colby” one of your hands release his shoulder to grip the sheet underneath you, teeth catching your bottom lip between them.
“Starting to feel good?” He hums while you nod, moving his head down to your neck, placing sloppy kisses against it. His hips find a steady pace at first and gradually work their way up, starting deep, then fast to your skin. “God, you feel so good” one of his hands travels up your body until it reaches the shirt covering your upper half, just wanting to rip in off of you.
“Take it off, baby” Your breathless words are too late when he’s already slipping it off your now fully bare body, completely discarding it to the floor next to him. Jesus, you were so perfect.
“You are so beautiful, Y/N” He presses a kiss to your lips before moving down your body, trailing his wet tongue down until he reached your nipple. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, the curves of your body… you were practically made for him. A shuddered moan escapes your lips when he swirls his tongue around your hardened nipple, kneading the other with his free hand.
“Mmm!” Between the stokes of his hips and the sensations he brought to your skin, you couldn’t hold much in. You were sure you were being too loud but the two of you didn’t care. It was just you and him, nobody else.
His strong arms capture your thighs, pulling one of your legs to rest against his shoulder. “Colby! I can’t… oh my gosh” Your little voice is projecting off the walls of the empty room but you don’t care, only worried about the boy above you. Your head was still slightly spinning from the drinks you endured earlier that night and it only mixed with your horny mess of a body, begging Colby for more. “It’s so good… fuck! You’re so fucking good!”
“Look at you. Such a fucking mess under me. You needed me just as much as I needed you” He grabs the back of your head, pulling you up slightly so you were at an angle you couldn’t look away from him. His big eyes were burning holes into your own, hips rutting into you like he had something to prove.
Which he did.
“Gonna come…! Colby, I’m gonna come!” Your a whining mess under him and he loves every second of it, pushing his hips into you faster then before. Your small body was like a toy in his hand and you were at his every command, doing everything he said.
“Come for me. Want you to scream my name so the whole neighborhood knows who’s fucking you this good—so ever man knows your mine” You knew it was a bad idea but who were you to decline that request? You were already screaming as it was. “My dirty girl, Your so fucking hot like this”
“I’m coming! I’m—oh my god I-“ Your voice is cut off by your loud moan, leg shuttering against his shoulder as you felt your release threatening to push over. His tip was kissing your cervix repeatedly, and you knew you couldn’t last much longer. “Colby…!” You cry out, pressing your hand to his chest as if that was going to do anything. Your orgasm finally tipped, and you felt it hit you like a truck.
“That’s it, Baby. Good girl” His thumb rubs circles against your clit as he ruts into your harder, watching your liquid spurt from between the two of you. “My god, Y/N. So fucking good for me”
“Colby… please—Jesus-“
“You can whine all you want, but your body is calling mine for more. You want more” You grip his large arms until your knuckles turn white, scratching along his tanned skin. You curse at him, not wanting to hear his teasing any longer. “Fuck me? I’m only giving you what you want” You look at him with an angry look for a second before completely switching, a smirk pulling at your lips. Jesus, you were nasty, huh?
He pulls out of you all at once making you whine, not able to protest before he’s already flipping you over onto your stomach and pushing your ass in the air. You giggle, stretching your arms in front of you as you arch your back against him, begging him to forgive you. “I was only joking, Pretty boy” You hum, looking back at his face.
He doesn’t say anything and grabs your hips roughly, pulling you back onto his length that so easily slipped inside of you. Your eyes roll back almost instantly as he bottoms you out, pushing his cock as deep as he could reach inside you. “This is what you wanted? Then fucking take it” He growls against your ear, slamming himself into your harder than he had been before. You couldn’t even think straight, you were already so fucked out you didn’t even remember what it felt like to not be fucked.
“fuck! Right there! Please, Colby—fuck me right there!” Your begging voice is music to his ears, your hands gripping the ground under you as he pushed himself against you. “You’re so deep… so fucking good to me, baby” He hums, leaning against your body so you were entirely pressing against him, his tongue running along your skin. Once again, you could feel his sloppy kisses against your shoulder and your neck.
“Nobody can fuck you like I can, Pretty girl. Your mine. You’re all fucking mine, you hear me?” You cry out a yes, the sound of your skin slapping against each others being the only thing that could be heard. “That’s it, just like that, my love” He praises against your ear, holding your hips to press into his.
“Colby, I’m gonna come… oh my god” You whine into the sheet, feeling the pressure building up fast inside you. He’s a grunting mess above you so you knew he was close as well, he was only holding out for you. “Come with me. Please, don’t hold out on me”
The snap of his hips slow down the closer he gets, and now your body is flush against his own, rocking back and forth to his pace with his face buried in your neck.
“I fucking love you, Y/N. My girl, come for me and only me, yeah?” You moan at his words, throwing your head back against his chest as his fingers circle your sensitive clit. you couldn’t hold it anymore, and neither could he. “I’m right behind you”
Drunk sex always felt way too good but usually it was faster and much sweatier, this felt far too different. Even if your hips moved fast against his, it still felt like everything had been in slow motion. The way his hands held your delicate body in his embrace as he thrust his hips up to meet your own, how his lips parted in anticipation to kiss yours, Colby was so hungry for you—his body, was hungry for you.
“Colby… Colby!” His name rolls off your tongue in a beautiful moan. You can feel his slight hesitance but the eyes you give him are enough to tell him exactly what you wanted. You wanted all of him, just as you said.
“Fuck…!” He curses under his breath, your moans filling his ears as you clenched down onto him. He continues to coach you to it, and with one last snap of his hips and circle to your clit, you felt your body release it’s everything onto his. He shushes your loud scream while silencing his own grunts, fingers digging into your hips to pull you close, painting your gummy walls with his white, hot release.
For awhile, All that was heard was your heavy breathing and the sounds of the tv in the other room, and you soon found yourself collapsed next to each other on the bed. Your chests were heaving horribly, and the sweat that drip from your foreheads were now everywhere. You look over at the boy next to you, only to find he had already been looking at you, both of you breathing heavy—lips parted.
It only took a second for one of you to start laughing, and Colby leaned over to kiss you again, this time staying there for the longest he could.
You hum as he pulls away just a tiny bit, still close to your face. Your eyes are shut, relishing in the feeling you had. How do you go on from this? Clearly you two loved each other, but you prayed it wouldn’t be weird…
“Come here” He lays his arm out, pulling your body closer to his so you could lay your head against his chest. The room was hot and smelled of pure sex but neither of you complained. You were just happy.
“Colby…” You mumble after awhile in silence, tracing the tattoo on his chest for the 2nd time. He hums in response, the tips of his fingers brushing through your soft hair. You almost feel bad, as if you’re about to ruin the amazing night you had—but you had to say it. “Where do we go from here..?”
Your voice is low and nervous, so focused on the negative that you couldn’t even see the obvious answer. Colby made it clear what he wanted. He couldn’t go back to normal with you—not after this night.
“I want you to be my girlfriend, Y/N. I’ve always wanted that” He pushes your hair away from your face, placing his finger under your chin to lift it. “Please tell me that’s what you want too”
Your eyes soften at his hesitant tone, grabbing the hand that sat under your chin to intertwine your fingers. Of course you wanted that. It was all you ever wanted.
You nod
“Sam is going to be so happy”
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Just a little something different 😉. See y’all whenever :))
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sunsburns · 26 days
Text
kiss of life (iii.)
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pairing: luke castellan x aphrodite!daughter reader
masterlist
summary: you have never doubted aphrodite when it comes to soulmates, she's the goddess of love, she knows what she's doing and you're getting pretty sick of people telling you she's made a mistake with your soulmate, specifically. you refuse to believe that she could be wrong, but luke castellan is making it really hard for you to have hope.
—or: you and luke are off on your quest you're totally not having second thoughts about choosing him, he's your soulmate after all... right?
word count: 3.2k
warnings: filler chapter (sorry gang), reader's pov, reader is lowkey unreliable and is hiding something, pre-tlt, luke's character is kinda inconsistent but whatever, angsty fight with luke and reader, low-key happy ending
a/n: everyone might've moved on but i'm still here 😔… gang i think i’m coming back to my active era (no one cheered) anyways there’s so much i wanna write for this series so enjoy this little filler!
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You'd always been a fan of bad ideas, but choosing Luke Castellan as your companion for the duration of your quest had to be your worst one yet. You felt a pang of doubt, questioning your choice, especially after witnessing the outcome of his quest—a failure that seemed impossible to shake off from the whispers of other campers. A failure your siblings wouldn't let you forget.
"I was there when he came back. I know what happened," you muttered, frustration creeping into your voice as you stuffed clothes into your bag.
Your siblings meant the world to you. You cherished the bond you shared—the familial camaraderie that bound your cabin together. As the eldest, you revelled in guiding and nurturing them, relishing the role of guardian and friend within your cabin's close-knit circle. Yet, like any family, they can sometimes be suffocatingly overbearing.
Alexis, your brother, ever ready to smack a reality check, had been the first to warn you against choosing Luke Castellan, and now he spearheaded a group of your siblings, all urging you to reconsider with reason.
"But that's just it. You don't know. Not really. None of us do." Alexis told you, reclining against the shared vanity in your cabin. The absence of the younger kids, off with Chiron for a lesson on constellations, offered you some peace of mind, sparing them from witnessing the escalating intervention.
As Silena sifted through the clothes strewn across your bed, her soft humming filled the room, a stark contrast to the weighty silence that hung over the conversation. "No one but Chiron and Mr. D knows what happened on that quest. He refuses to talk about it." she mused.
"There's not a lot of glory in that." Alexis shrugged, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
"He's been so weird and different since he returned," Silena added, "I remember he used to smile. It was such an attractive smile. And he used to talk... He barely ever talks anymore."
Alexis snorted, "That's called depression, Silena."
"It's just so sad." She frowned and sat on your bed, her gaze distant, "Pretty people don't deserve to be depressed."
"Amen to that."
You couldn't help but roll your eyes at their melodramatic exchange, a fleeting smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you focused on folding another pair of pants. 
"He still talks." You said.
"But it's not the same," Alexis countered, his expression grave. Deep down, you knew he was right.
"And the way he's treated you," Silena scoffed, "constantly icing you out..."
"Avoiding you for months..." Alexis added, stepping closer to you with a solemn expression. "Refusing to even talk to you."
When he tried to put his hand on your shoulder, you couldn't help but shrug it off, not wanting his sympathy.
Their reminders, well-intentioned though they may be, served only to deepen the wound already festering within you. Like a knife twisted in your back, the memories of Luke's avoidance and unanswered questions pierced your thoughts with relentless precision. You vividly recalled the disappointment etched across his face in the infirmary, a silent testament to his dismay upon discovering your role in his fate. The weight of his unspoken words hung heavily in the air, a haunting reminder of the rift that had formed between you before it even started.
Your siblings were very careful with their next words: "Do you think that maybe... just this once... Aphrodite got it wrong?"
With a heavy heart, you stormed out of the cabin, your mind reeling with conflicting emotions. You swore up and down to Alexis and Silena that you were fine, that you only needed air. The need for clarity drove you to seek solace in the quiet embrace of nature, the gentle flicker of a breeze offering a touch of comfort amidst the turmoil raging within.
Throughout your life, your unwavering loyalty to your mother, Aphrodite, and the Gods has been a source of solace and guidance. You found comfort in the subtle manifestations of them, from the celestial dance of stars to the gentle caress of sunlight filtering through the trees. Even in the casual interactions of everyday life, you sought traces of your mother's hand guiding your path.
As you gazed into the dancing flames, the remnants of fruit smouldering in their fiery embrace in a tin can, you found yourself caught between hope and despair during your offering for your mother. Silena's words echoed in your mind, a harsh truth you were reluctant to confront. Maybe you didn't have a soulmate. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe you're unlovable.
Yet, amidst the cloud of doubt, a flicker of defiance ignited within you. The mere thought that Aphrodite could be mistaken in matters of love seemed impossible to you. You had witnessed firsthand the intricate tapestry of fate woven by her hand, guiding souls to their destined counterparts with unfailing precision. 
The yearning for that connection, that soul-deep bond, burned within you like a beacon in the darkness of uncertainty. It was a desire as old as time itself, the longing to find solace and belonging in the embrace of another.
As the flames dwindled to embers, their dying glow casting flickering shadows upon the ground, your prayers went unanswered. 
The weight of your impending quest pressed upon you like a heavy cloak. Questions tumbled over one another in a relentless cascade, each one a dagger aimed at the heart of your resolve. Where would you need to go? Would you need to defend yourself? Would monsters come after you? Should you choose someone else? Could it be that Luke was nothing to you but a mistaken thread tethered into your life?
Your shoes stepped over twigs and dry leaves on the ground until you stepped out of the forest. Passing by the armoury, you forced a smile upon your lips. You forced yourself to be excited for your first quest rather than dread it. It was a rare privilege bestowed upon a child of Aphrodite, you should honour it.
As you approached the heart of camp again, the familiar clang of sword meeting dummy rumbled through the night air. The rhythmic sound, though commonplace in the realm of demigod training, carried an ominous weight under the cover of darkness. You would have assumed that all campers were asleep.
Luke Castellan, a boy who had become synonymous with the darker days since his return from his quest, stood amidst the training grounds, his silhouette illuminated by the pale moonlight. The sight of him, bathed in the ghostly shine, was haunting. With each precise strike of his sword, a muted testament to the rage that plagued his restless spirit, he seemed to exude an aura of both determination and despair.
No wonder you were so exhausted.  
You dared not meet his gaze, instead keeping your head bowed as you navigated the familiar path through the training grounds. Every fibre of your being screamed for you to move faster, yet the pull of his presence was undeniable. Despite your best efforts to remain unseen, Luke's voice cut through the night, calling out your name with a sense of urgency that sent a shiver down your spine.
Shit.
With a sinking heart, you felt his hand land on your shoulder, stopping your escape. You couldn't avoid him now. Turning to face him, you were met with a sight that mirrored the restlessness within your own soul. His features, etched with lines of weariness and frustration, betrayed the weight of the burdens he carried.
You were distracted by the way he was looking at you. Brows furrowed, his lips turned and pulled into that permanent frown that had you wondering if he had ever smiled since he came back. Yet, despite the weight of his solemn expression, there was a flicker of something in his eyes – a glint of warmth, of familiarity, that almost stirred a faint glimmer of hope within you.
Almost. 
"You're making a mistake." He insisted. "You need to choose someone else for your quest."
You tried not to seem too disappointed. "I can't pick anyone else." You protested, and he raised his brows at you, doubtful. "The Oracle told me to choose you."
"She told you to-?" A scoff escaped him, "The Oracle doesn't tell you who to choose. She doesn't say anything about who you should bring-"
"Luke-"
"The Oracle tells you what your quest is, then a weird riddle about something that will happen on your quest that will put you on edge the entire time."
Luke had stepped closer to you as he spoke as if his words would've sunk into your head clearer if you could hear them better. He spoke to you a lot that way, hoping you'd cling to every word he had to say; good and bad. Mostly bad.
The Oracle's cryptic words lingered in your mind. She had not revealed much about your quest, offering no subtle hints or insights into Eros' whereabouts to make your life easier. Instead, her assurance that success hinged on bringing Luke Castellan along had left you grappling with uncertainty. "He has all the answers you seek," she had urged, her words echoing with a weight that you struggled to comprehend.
"It has to be you."
"What else did she say?"
You hesitated. "That's it," you replied, your words falling short.
"That's it?" He didn't believe you.
"Just a few hints of where Eros might be, I guess." The lie slipped from your lips effortlessly. 
He caught it quickly but never urged you to admit it. Luke remained silent, his expression unreadable as he mulled over your words. 
You sort of wished he fought you over it.
You wished he'd do anything with you. At least try to.
"If you don't want to come with me, that's fine," you conceded, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning, with or without you."
"Really? You'll just leave?"
The bitterness in his tone was unmistakable. Yet, despite the resentment that coloured his words, there was a flicker of something in his eyes – a glimmer of regret, perhaps, or maybe resignation. It only annoyed you further.
Luke Castellan was possibly the most confusing person you've ever met. He didn't want to join you on your quest, but you couldn't leave without him either? What's his fucking deal?
He intrigued and frustrated you, like some curse had been placed upon you, and you wanted to understand every part of him while he wanted nothing to do with you. Perhaps Aphrodite was being cruel when she chose him as your soulmate, but you weren't any better when you put him in the position of joining you on your quest.
"I don't know you." You admitted the words hanging heavy in the air between you. "You've made a really good effort to make sure that I don't know anything about you. I did my part. I picked you. If you don't want to come, that's... fine."
It pained you to say it. You did not want to go alone, but you weren't going to force someone to accompany you who clearly didn't want to be there. However, the uncertainty of what lay beyond the safety of the camp walls loomed large in your mind. You haven't left the protection of the camp in years, you weren't sure of what was out there other than the stories the summer campers would tell you, of their close calls and near misses. 
Luke Castellan was the perfect example of what leaving camp does to someone.
Despite the weight of your decision, you held your head high as you turned on your heels. You doubted Luke had anything more to say; he was a man of few words, after all.
You left him there, just as he left you by the docks for months. And then you lied to yourself, clung to the belief that your mother, Aphrodite, would safeguard your journey and that your brother, Eros, awaited your rescue.
And so, the next morning, after bidding your tearful goodbyes to your siblings and friends and earning a proud pat on the back from Chiron, you swallowed your pride and left.
The Oracle's words were etched into the very fabric of your being, a relentless mantra that monopolized your thoughts as you trudged toward the top of the hill and left the safety of campgrounds. Each step forward was a testament to your determination, each footfall a declaration of your unwavering commitment to the quest ahead.
As you climbed, you couldn't help but imagine the faces of campers upon your return. You pictured the awe in their eyes, the pride in their voices, and most of all, the look on Luke's face when he realized the extent of your lone success, his disbelief mingling with a begrudging respect.
"Hey-"
The sound of your name startled you out of your thoughts. You were trudging through the grass when you spotted a body sitting under a pine tree, shaded from the sun by its leaves.
Luke looked up at you, frowning, "Took you long enough."
His dishevelled dark curls fell over his eyes, a stark contrast against the vibrant greenery surrounding him. With a resigned sigh, he rose to his feet, his movements fluid yet tinged with an air of impatience Luke picked up a bag by his side, tossing it over his shoulder. It wasn't until he emerged from the tree's shade that you noticed the subtle changes in his attire. Gone was the signature orange camp shirt, replaced instead by a more subdued navy tee that hugged his frame. His old cargo pants remained the same, but different nonetheless.
Eyeing his bag, you could spot smaller daggers strapped to the sides, prepared for anything. It took you a few seconds to process why he was there. You squint at the sun as he steps out from under the tree. "You came."
He huffed, "Obviously."
You let out a breathless chuckle, maybe one of relief since honestly, despite everything you'd been trying to convince yourself of, you were terrified to leave on your own. 
"Why?" you asked, your voice betraying a hint of uncertainty as you adjusted the straps of your own bag. The question hung in the air, unanswered. Of course. You almost rolled your eyes as Luke began to descend the other side of the hill. With a fleeting glance over his shoulder, he wordlessly beckoned you to join him by tilting his head to the side impatiently.
You grinned then, wide and bright. "I know I said I didn't care if you came or not, but I'm glad you're here."
He showed no sign of acknowledgment of your sentiment, his gaze fixed ahead as he continued to walk once you joined his side.
As the minutes stretched on in silence, broken only by the rhythmic crunch of leaves underfoot, you found yourself lost in thought. It was only when the distant hum of passing cars reached your ears, their blurred forms darting through the forest's fringe, that you were jolted back to the present.
Drawing to a halt near the forest's edge, you felt the weight of uncertainty settle upon you. With a hesitant pause, you turned to face Luke, the question that had been gnawing at your mind poised on the tip of your tongue.
"Why'd you stop?" He asked.
"I just..." Your voice wavered, uncertainty lacing your words as you struggled to articulate your thoughts. You worried that if you said the wrong thing he'd leave you stranded right there and return to camp while the two of you were still walking distance from it. It annoyed you a little; how much you had to walk on eggshells with him.
You couldn't help but wonder how different things might have been if you hadn't chosen him. You were being stupid when you picked him, you decided. You already regret it. Maybe Luke was right, the Oracle was just trying to get into your head.
"What made you change your mind? About coming on the quest?" you finally managed to voice, your eyes meeting his in search of answers.
He looked at you, brown eyes flitting over your expression, before licking his lips and simply stating: "If you break an arm, so do I."
That had been the closest Luke Castellan had ever been to admitting he had a soulmate.
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taglist🏷️ : @pleasingregulus , @weasleylovers , @telliette , @jarofshells , @jess-fae , @s0urw00lf , @srvbryn , @justanotherkpopstanlol , @coryoskywalker , @simplyjake , @girlyp-0-p , @aquangxl , @lovebug0 , @number-onekidqueen , @mxtokko , @patitotodd , @gloryekaterina , @simpforsunwoo , @ladyslytherin7 , @criesinlies , @mashiromochi , @quackitysdrugdealer , @jadahxx , @maraschinocherry3 , @trovailleangel , @daliscrim , @wicca-void , @girljakeperalta , @kurtcobaingirlie , @yourlocaldelusional , @elisa20beth , @lifeonawhim , @ivyy-covered-walls , @star-flecked-soul , @maxinehufflepuffprincess , @flower-lise , @coc0lepigeon , @bitterspoons , @bigolidioot, @honeynicoole , @y0urm0m12 , @iammightsadyall , @cherr-y-eji , @riaaavm (lmk if you wanna be added or removed <3 pls make sure ur tags on on! )
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simpforfandom231 · 3 months
Text
marry me
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Heeeey guuuuuyyyys!!!! sooo i'm going through shit but i can move my legs a bit already so that's good! i didn't wanna be gone too long soo here is a small one, forgive me if there is any mistakes, my mind is not the best now but hey I have courage to write again! -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the bustling streets of Brussels welcomed the onset of evening, Reneé Rapp, the charismatic star of the Snow Hard Feelings tour, strolled hand in hand with her girlfriend, Y/N. The air was alive with the aroma of freshly baked waffles and the sounds of laughter from nearby cafes. It was one of those rare moments of tranquility amidst the whirlwind of fame.
"Isn't this city just magical?" Reneé exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement as they passed by a street performer juggling flaming batons.
Y/N smiled, her gaze drifting toward a nearby boutique. "Definitely! And look at that sweater in the window, it's so cool!"
Reneé followed Y/N's gaze, her interest piqued. "Oh, that does look amazing! Let's go check it out."
Hand in hand, they entered the boutique, the tinkling of the bell announcing their arrival. Y/N made a beeline for the sweater while Reneé browsed through the racks of clothes, occasionally pulling out a particularly outrageous item to show her girlfriend.
"This would look fabulous on you," Reneé teased, holding up a neon pink faux fur jacket.
Y/N chuckled, shaking her head. "I think I'll pass on that one, thanks."
Just as Y/N was admiring the intricate design of the sweater, a sharp voice pierced through the air.
"Hey, aren't you Reneé Rapp?" a young girl exclaimed, her eyes widening in disbelief as she recognized the famous singer.
Reneé grinned, her natural charm effortlessly taking over. "Guilty as charged! What's your name?"
Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, used to these impromptu fan encounters. She watched as Reneé chatted with the girl, signing an autograph and posing for a quick selfie.
Once the fan had left, Y/N sighed, her frustration bubbling to the surface. "Can't we just have one shopping trip without being interrupted?"
Reneé's expression softened, and she reached out to gently squeeze Y/N's hand. "I'm sorry, babe. I know it can be annoying."
Y/N managed a small smile, appreciating Reneé's understanding. "It's okay, I guess. Let's just focus on finding that sweater."
As they continued browsing, Reneé kept a watchful eye out for any more fans while trying to maintain a sense of normalcy for Y/N's sake. However, it seemed like fate had other plans.
"Reneé! Can I get a picture with you?" another voice called out, and before Reneé could respond, a group of excited fans swarmed around them, their cameras flashing incessantly.
Y/N sighed in resignation, exchanging amused glances with Reneé amidst the chaos. "Well, so much for a quiet shopping trip."
Reneé chuckled, her arm around Y/N's waist as they posed for yet another photo. "Looks like we're becoming quite the attraction here in Brussels."
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of photo ops and autographs, the crowd dispersed, leaving Reneé and Y/N with a newfound appreciation for the sanctuary of the boutique.
"Okay, let's make a deal," Reneé said with a mischievous glint in her eye. "If we manage to get through the rest of our shopping without any more interruptions, the sweater is all yours."
Y/N grinned, feeling a surge of determination. "You're on!"
With renewed determination, they dove back into their shopping spree, their laughter echoing through the boutique as they picked out outfits for each other and shared playful banter.
After what felt like hours of blissful uninterrupted shopping, they finally emerged from the boutique, Y/N proudly sporting her new sweater.
"Mission accomplished!" Reneé declared triumphantly, pressing a kiss to Y/N's cheek.
Y/N smiled, feeling a rush of gratitude for the woman by her side. Despite the challenges of fame, moments like these made it all worthwhile.
As the night descended upon Brussels, the vibrant energy of the city seemed to converge upon the grand concert venue where Reneé Rapp was set to perform. Y/N watched from the VIP section, her heart swelling with pride as she beheld her girlfriend commanding the stage with an electrifying presence.
Dressed in a glittering ensemble that shimmered under the stage lights, Reneé exuded an aura of confidence as she launched into her performance, the opening notes of "Not My Fault" sending ripples of excitement through the audience.
Y/N couldn't tear her eyes away as Reneé's voice filled the air, each lyric delivered with an intensity that seemed to speak directly to her soul. It was as if the entire world faded away, leaving only Reneé and the mesmerizing melody that enveloped them both.
Lost in the moment, Y/N felt a rush of emotion as Reneé's gaze seemed to lock onto hers, a knowing smile playing at the corners of her lips. It was a look that spoke volumes, a silent declaration of love amidst the sea of adoring fans.
But just as the song reached its crescendo, a sudden commotion broke out in the crowd. Y/N's heart leapt into her throat as she watched Reneé's expression shift from exhilaration to concern in an instant.
Without hesitation, Reneé halted the music, her voice cutting through the chaos as she called out to the distressed fan. "Hey, are you okay?"
Y/N strained to hear over the din of the crowd, her eyes darting anxiously as she searched for any sign of trouble.
"I-I think so," the fan stammered, her voice trembling with emotion as Reneé knelt beside her.
Reneé's brow furrowed with concern as she gently helped the fan to her feet. "Take deep breaths, okay? We're going to get you some help."
As Reneé called for the medical team to assist the fan, Y/N felt a swell of admiration for her girlfriend's selflessness. Despite the interruption to her performance, Reneé's priority remained clear: ensuring the safety and welfare of her audience.
With the fan in capable hands, Reneé turned back to the stage, her resolve unwavering. "I want to make sure everyone is safe before we continue," she announced, her voice resonating with authority.
The crowd erupted into applause, their admiration for Reneé evident in every cheer and applause. Y/N watched with a swelling heart as Reneé's leadership and compassion shone brightly in the face of adversity.
Finally, with the fan safely attended to, Reneé resumed her performance, her voice ringing out with renewed vigor. As the music filled the air once more, Y/N couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for the woman she loved, knowing that no obstacle could dim the brilliance of Reneé Rapp.
Amidst the cheers and applause, Y/N caught Reneé's eye once more, a silent exchange of love and gratitude passing between them. In that moment, amidst the chaos and uncertainty, they found solace in each other's unwavering support, a bond stronger than any challenge they faced.
Unbeknownst to the audience, it wasn't just any ordinary performance for Reneé Rapp—it was her and Y/N's four-year anniversary, a milestone they both cherished deeply.
In between songs, Reneé took a moment to engage with her adoring fans, her infectious smile lighting up the stage as she bantered with the audience.
"You all are amazing tonight!" Reneé exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine gratitude. "But you know what makes tonight even more special?"
The crowd murmured in curiosity, hanging on Reneé's every word as she leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
"It's mine and Y/N's four-year anniversary!" Reneé announced, her excitement palpable. "And I thought, what better way to celebrate than with all of you?"
Cheers erupted throughout the venue, the audience sharing in Reneé's joy as she explained her plan.
"I want to sing a little bit of 'The Wedding Song' for Y/N," Reneé continued, her gaze sweeping over the crowd. "And I need your help to make it extra special. Are you with me?"
The response was deafening as the audience erupted into cheers and applause, eager to participate in the celebration.
With a smile that could light up the darkest of nights, Reneé invited Y/N onto the stage, her heart swelling with love as she took her girlfriend's hand in hers.
Y/N's cheeks flushed with excitement as she joined Reneé in the spotlight, her eyes never leaving her girlfriend's captivating gaze. As the music began to play, Y/N found herself entranced by the graceful movements of Reneé's body, each step a mesmerizing dance that spoke volumes of their love.
As they sang together, their voices blending in perfect harmony, Y/N couldn't help but feel a rush of desire coursing through her veins. Reneé's presence was intoxicating, her passion igniting a fire within Y/N's soul.
Lost in the moment, they swayed together to the rhythm of the music, their love shining brighter than any spotlight. And as the final notes of the song faded into the night, they shared a tender embrace, the applause of the audience washing over them like a warm embrace.
With tears of joy glistening in her eyes, Y/N whispered words of love and gratitude to Reneé, their bond stronger than ever as they celebrated their anniversary in the spotlight of their love. And amidst the cheers and applause, they knew that this moment would be etched in their hearts forever, a testament to the power of love to conquer all.
As the audience erupted into cheers and applause, Reneé's heart pounded with excitement and nervous anticipation. This was the moment she had been waiting for, the culmination of months of planning and a lifetime of love.
Stepping forward, Reneé took a deep breath, her eyes locked on Y/N's as she began her speech. "Y/N, from the moment I met you, my life changed in ways I never could have imagined. You've brought so much joy, laughter, and love into my world, and I am eternally grateful for every moment we've shared together."
A soft smile tugged at Y/N's lips as she listened, her eyes shining with emotion. She knew what was coming next, but that didn't make the moment any less thrilling.
"Every day with you is an adventure, a journey filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between," Reneé continued, her voice filled with sincerity. "You are my partner, my confidante, and my best friend, and I can't imagine facing this crazy world without you by my side."
The audience watched with bated breath as Reneé's speech reached its climax, the anticipation mounting with each passing moment. And then, with a flourish, Reneé dropped to one knee, a small velvet box in her hand.
"Y/N, will you do me the honor of being my wife?" Reneé asked, her voice filled with emotion as she looked up at Y/N with unwavering love and devotion.
Y/N's heart soared as she nodded eagerly, tears of joy welling up in her eyes. "Yes, Reneé, a million times yes!"
The crowd erupted into cheers and applause, their excitement filling the air as Reneé slipped the ring onto Y/N's finger, sealing their love with a promise of forever.
In that moment, surrounded by the people they loved most in the world, Reneé and Y/N knew that their journey together was just beginning. And as they embraced, their hearts overflowing with love and happiness, they couldn't wait to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, hand in hand, forevermore.
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k-llama-llama · 3 months
Text
In the Hotel
Seventeen AU: 14th member
Rei x Seventeen
Rei tries to stand up for herself....with mixed results
A/N: I'm going to be honest...i think this was a patreon post back in the day but I just found it in my drafts and realized I should be posting it for everyone.
IDK if I'm back or not but I would love to catch up!
Requests are OPEN!!!
Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!
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Rei wasn’t a particularly violent person.
But tonight, that was going to change.
It was well past midnight, and she could barely remember what city they were in, because she hadn’t been able to get a wink of sleep. Usually on tour their management reserved the entire floor of the hotel for them, but for some reason that hadn’t been possible at their current hotel. Which meant they had been sequestered in their rooms, sneaking from door to door in case a fan happened to walk by.
But that wasn’t even the main problem. The current issue was the obnoxiously loud music playing from the room next to Rei. It had started around six in the evening, which had been tolerable, but it hadn’t stopped since. Rei had tried everything to block it out. Headphones, earplugs, pillows, and she could still feel it shaking her walls. Then she had tried to call down to the front desk, but she’d panicked when speaking English on the phone and hadn’t been able to communicate the problem.
Which left only one option.
It was at times like these that Rei missed the days where she had always shared a hotel room with one of the boys. Now she was old enough to like her space, but she definitely still missed having them around to stay up late watching movies, ordering local food, or, as she was currently having to experience, knocking on her neighbor’s door.
She checked her outfit one more time. Her pajamas were just a bralette and sweatpants, and so she had pulled a sweatshirt overtop and smoothed her hair out. Once she was satisfied, she grabbed her room key and stepped out the door.
Her room was at the end of the hallway, down a little alcove, with only one other room across from her. That was the room currently making all the noise, which it turned out was muffled in the hallway. Taking a deep breath, she lifted one hand and knocked loudly on the door.
No one answered.
She knocked again, more insistently this time.
The door swung open.
Rei didn’t like to judge people, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was not the sort of man she wanted to be talking to. He reeked of alcohol, was missing his shirt, and just the tiny sliver that she could see into the room, showed a group of people, sprawled about, bottles of liquor on the floor. 
“What?” He snapped.
Rei squeaked. “Sorry. Your….your music…” She struggled to find the words, taking a step back. This was a terrible idea. If she couldn’t talk to the front desk on the phone, what made her think she could confront someone in person?
“It’s a party. You need music for a party,” The man scoffed, before giving her an appraising look. “You want in?”
She shook her head quickly. “No.”
“You sure? We have booze.” Rei did not know what that word meant, but she knew that she didn’t want any part of it.
“Sorry,” she bowed her head, stepping away and turning to leave.
“You next door?” The guy asked, leaning out into the hall. Rei shoved her hand back into her pocket. She couldn’t go back into that room now, not with these people now aware that she was staying there by herself.
She heard him call something to one of his friends, and didn’t waste time stepping out of the alcove and rushing towards the first room that she knew held one of her boys.
Still hearing voices from the party room, Rei knocked quickly, growing increasingly panicked. This entire thing was a mistake. If he didn’t answer, would she have to go down to the lobby? She’d been an idiot and left her phone in the room, and now she was—
A bleary-eyed Joshua pulled open the door. “Rei? Is something wrong?”
She ducked under his arm, speaking quickly as she sheltered behind him. “The people next to me were making noise so I went to ask them to be quiet but they were scary and drunk and now they know where I was sleeping and they speak English so I—”
“Hey! You guys want to join the party?” A voice called down the hall.
Joshua tensed, pushing Rei further into the room and leaning out the door. “Not a chance. It’s the middle of the night.”
“Hey, your girl is the one who bothered us. We’re just being polite.”
“Have a goodnight,” Joshua shut him down. “Security is already on its way.”
There was a long moment of silence, Joshua still standing in the door, neither him nor the man in the hall saying anything. Rei nervously twisted her hand into the back of Joshua’s t-shirt, trying to pull him back into the room.
After a few seconds, he let her, closing the door behind them and securing the latch.
“You okay?” He asked, moving to flick on the lights. Rei took in just how exhausted he looked, clearly having rolled right out of bed when she knocked. His hair was a mess, his clothes wrinkled from sleep, and a quick glance at his bed showed that the sheets tossed around.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’m sorry for bothering you. I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“You did the right thing,” he patted her shoulder.
Rei thought for a moment. She was exhausted too, and her brain was still a little bit foggy. “I should probably go back to bed.”
Joshua grabbed her wrist. “You’re not going back out there.”
“What?” 
“I’m calling security, and you’re staying here.” He insisted, releasing her to head for the phone.
Rei froze. “Are you…are you sure? I can go back to my room.”
“If you try, I’m going to call Seungcheol.”
That was enough to convince her, and so she made her way over to the bed while Joshua dialed the front desk and explained the problem much more fluently than she was capable of. The left side of the bed, closer to the nightstand, was the most messed up of the two, and so she figured that was where he had been sleeping. She kicked off her slippers and slid into the other side, pulling the blankets up over her lap.
Joshua hung up the phone, flicked the light switch, and then crawled into his side of the bed.
“Goodnight, Rei.”
“Night.” She rolled close to the edge, trying not to take up more space than she had to.
This was weird. It wasn’t that she was uncomfortable with Joshua. The opposite, really, they’d been close for ages, but they’d never shared a bed before and she couldn’t help but feel like she was bothering him. 
“You’re going to fall off the bed,” Joshua whispered.
“What?”
His arm reached over, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her closer to him. “I can sleep on the floor if you aren’t comfortable, but there’s no way you’re going to be able to sleep like that.”
“Sorry,” Rei forced herself to relax, getting a little more comfortable. “I’m trying not to take up space.”
He snorted. “You’re fine. Just go to sleep.”
Rei closed her eyes, wrapping her hands up in her sweater and tucking them under her chin. Joshua was only a few inches away, and she could hear the moment that he fell asleep and his breath evened out. She was only moments from sleep herself when a large commotion started in the hallway, shouts echoing into their room. Something slammed against the door of their room, and Rei flinched.
Joshua hummed, wrapping one arm over her and pulling her right into his chest. “It’s okay. It’s just security dealing with those guys.”
“Right.” She snuggled closer. “Sorry, they’re just loud.”
“They’re idiots,” he agreed, pressing his chin into her shoulder. “You’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” She promised, finally letting herself relax. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”
“Any time,” he promised. “Now, let’s get some sleep. We have a flight tomorrow.”
Impulsively, Rei pressed a kiss to his cheek, before she finally closed her eyes. “Night, Oppa.”
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lxvvie · 5 months
Text
y'all, I made the mistake of revealing that I write fanfiction as a hobby, and when asked about the fandoms I write for, I broke it down as I know best: into cliques. I realize I might be shaking the table but it is what it is.
This is what I said for CoD (I've since add some more stuff):
You got the forever war between Gaz Nation and Gaz Deniers. May or may not be rooted in his attractiveness as a person of color, opinions vary (read: it most definitely is). Bonus points if the racism comes out in full force. DOUBLE/TRIPLE those points if it's expressed using butchered ass AAVE. 🥴
You got the Masked Men Lovers Brigade of which König, Ghost, and Keegan are the patron saints and arguably the holy trinity.
You got the Peepaw Price Lovers who absolutely adore his chonky cheeks, peepaw mannerisms, lumberjack body complete with the slutty waist, and relative long-suffering thanks to the shenanigans of the rest of the crew.
You got the Soap Suds who, I think, have found that relative balance between Johnny being a destructive-as-all-hell force to be reckoned with and the quintessential golden retriever boyfriend. His VA doesn't make it any better apparently lmao.
You got the Ghost lovers who've pretty much diversified him so he can run the gamut of Daddy Dom Extraordinaire™, Babygurl™, Sassy Simon™, and the list is endless. What IS consistent is that someone parked a dump truck on that ass and he has some big ole titties. There's also the subset of people who REALLY, REALLY love Ghost but also think his VA is ugly (which he isn't) while simultaneously thinking that he (Ghost) is supposed to be David Gandy levels of immaculate despite being in active combat. Make it make sense.
There's the Gravediggers who, for the most part, acknowledge their love-hate relationship with Graves and I think that is both hilarious and endearing.
You have the Kult of Köthulhu, König's devoted followers who have allowed him to transcend his gremlin nature to become the long-lost progeny of Cthulhu. Move the fuck over, Cthylla. I kid but he, like Ghost, has also been diversified in terms of his portrayal. And no, he's not a part of 141. Some followers of His Gremliness are also embroiled in a forever war with Gaz Nation so please be safe out there, y'all.
You got the Valeria girlies who want her to sit on their faces. I don't blame them. Please do.
You have the Los Vaqueros crew who need more love shown to them and Pony by Ginuwine is their official theme song thanks to Alejandro Thee Stallion. The less said about the butchered Spanish I've read in some fics, the better.
There's also the Farah Fanatics who rightfully adore her and deserve their flowers just like the rest of the cliques.
There's the Keller Kollective who, I think, tends to intersect with the Farah Fanatics. This lot also deserves their flowers because Keller is a sub absolutely underrated as a character. You'd also be forgiven for thinking he and Price are elated.
You also got the Horangi Horde who, just like Gaz Nation, will RISE TF UP. I think. Hopefully. lmao
And then there's the self-righteous crew who, for whatever reason, seem to think they're above it all and love to police writers on what they write and how they write the characters (we're talking in terms of rather innocuous subjects in the grand scheme of things; the sus shit absolutely needs to be and should be called out). Interestingly enough, this group also seems to forget that they're in the same damn boat by being in the fandom, consuming, and writing about the same characters. The ones who have all the energy but none of the courage even if they say or think they do. Bonus points if they also move like fans. Double/Triple those points if they, too, also use butchered-ass AAVE to make their points. 🥴
The girlies who can't separate fiction from reality and insist on harassing the VAs and their significant others and families because how DARE they have a regular degular life outside of *checks notes* their job. Baby, it was never gonna be you. It will never. be. you.
did I get them all? lmao
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yelenasdiary · 11 months
Note
Platonic idea! Nat meets reader (female) undercover while on a mission. Maybe R’s a waitress trying to make ends meet for her kids, while Nat frequents the restaurant for her mission as that’s where she meets her target. They develop a friendship, but R doesn’t know nats true identity. One day, shit hits the fan w the mission and R is caught in the crosshairs. Suddenly her “friend” is in a fight with random people. But Nat makes sure to protect R. When it’s all done, Nat explains herself and her true identity. Bonus points if she helps R w her financial situation. Thanks!
You're Too Nice!
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Single Mom! Reader (Platonic)
Summary: With struggling to make ends meet with your current job, you were surprised when a guest tips you every time she comes to eat, leading to an unexpected friendship.  
Comfort? | Slight Angst | Mentions of Blood | Gun Violence | Reader has 2 children | Held Hostage | 2K |
AC: Thank you for sending this!! I miss platonic Nat!! I hope you enjoy this x
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"What can I get you today, Nat?" you smiled softly at the red head as you came up to her table. The new guest now eats regularly at the restaurant you worked at. She told you she'd just moved to town and was a terrible cook and enjoyed the food here. Although, this place wasn't a place you thought somebody could afford to eat at almost every night for dinner, but it was clear that Natasha had money, with every tip she left you was bigger than the last. 
"I think I'll have the rib-eye steak tonight" Natasha looked up with a smile.
"Good choice, would you like a wine to go with it?" you asked, dotting down her order. 
"Sure, what not. Surprise me, I trust you have good taste" she replied.  
"I'll be right back" you gave the redhead a light nod before walking over to the bar and getting your co-worker to find the best wine that would go down with her order. "What's her deal? She eats here every night" the bartender asked. 
"She just moved here and enjoys the food" 
"Ha! I wonder how long it'll take until she gets bored of this place" your co-worker poured a glass of wine before handing it too you, "I don't know, she seems different" you took the glass and made your walk back to Natasha. 
"Here's your wine, your food shouldn't be too far away" you smiled once more, placing the glass on the table. "Thank you" Natasha smiled but her eyes stayed glued to the table of gentlemen a few tables away. A group of 17 men all in suits, laughing over poorly made jokes as they sipped on their beers, whisky. You tried to work out, slyly, which gentleman she was so intrigued by, but you noticed she wasn't just watching one, but all. 
"If those gentlemen are too loud, I'd be happy to move you to another table" 
Natasha looked up at you then back at the table of gentlemen, "no it's okay. I was just wondering what they were laughing at" she replied, brushing off your offer. "My mistake, I'll be back with your order shortly" 
That you did, you placed her order on the table and told her to enjoy and that if she needed anything just to holla. You waited on other guests while Natasha sat by herself, eating her dinner and sipping her wine. By the end of the night, Natasha along with the table of gentlemen and a few others, were the only ones left. 
Natasha waved you down and asked for the check as she got out her purse. You returned to her table not long after, placing the check on the table. "I hope you enjoyed your meal tonight" you smiled. 
"It was lovely, and the wine went down just as well, I knew I could trust you with" Natasha replied, placing $300 on the table. "Oh, please. this is too much!" You looked to her, she was tipping you $150 for your service. "Please, take it. You deserve it. I've seen how hard you work and how little you get. Also, it seems you need to get home to your child or children so you're not paying the babysitter too much, right?" she explained to your surprise.
You nodded, "How'd you know?" you asked. 
"You keep checking your watch and the butterfly sticker on your name badge gave it away. How old?" 
You totally forgot that your 4-year-old daughter had placed a blue colored butterfly sticker on your nametag before your shift started. Money is tight and you try your best to not work late as the babysitter charges by the hour, on some occasions when you knew work was going to be busy around the holidays, you'd ask her for a flat rate which she was kind enough to set a price but you always felt bad that you were taking from her rather than giving. 
"My daughter is 4 and my son is 6" you answered the redhead with an almost embarrassed look. 
"They sound lovely" Natasha smiled, handing the check back to you, "If you're working tomorrow night, I'll see you then" she added before standing up from her seat.
----
It's been a few weeks since you told Natasha about your children and since she was new to town you offered to show her around on your day off. Quickly, the two of you formed a friendship that honestly surprised you. Going from waiting on her whenever you had a shift to now sitting in a park drinking a hot coffee while your children played. 
"What made you move here?" you asked, dying to know. 
"I heard it was peaceful and I need peaceful in my life right now. Besides, the café near my apartment makes great muffins" she replied before taking a sip of her coffee. 
"I've got to ask, do you not know how to cook?" 
Natasha laughed, "I guess you can't count making peanut butter sandwiches cooking, can you?" 
You shook your head, "not, that's barely a meal!" You chuckled, "Look, I love cooking. I'd be happy to cook a little extra and drop it off to you. It'll save you from having to come to the restaurant every night, which now sounds really bad like I'm trying to drive you away from us" you offered before blabbering on. 
"I don't mind it; in fact, I enjoy it. The service is really good" Natasha replied with a chuckle. 
"Maybe you should get a job there, you've seen pretty much how it works and what we do, how we do it. If you're looking, I can talk to the manger" you offered before taking another sip of your coffee. 
"You're too nice, did you know that?" Natasha turned to you, "is that a bad thing?" you questioned. 
"It can be. Some people might take that for granted" 
"The world is already full of crappy people doing crappy things, there needs to be more people doing kind things" you explained, making Natasha chuckle at your choice of words. "Crappy things?" she questioned with a raised brow. 
"Sorry, I try to reframe from swearing. I don't want my kids to swearing just yet" you explained.
 Natasha nodded, "So if you think that there needs to be more people doing kind things, why do you try to refuse to take my tips every night?" 
She had you there. 
"W..I..well, I am very grateful for your tips but I feel bad for taking them. I give you the same service I give any other guest an- "
"and they don't see how wonderful your service. Lets make a deal, I'll let you drop off some food if you take my tips without trying to get me to stop, deal?" She interrupted you. Again, she had you. 
"Fine, deal" you playful shook your head. 
----
The night started off normal as usual, except Natasha hadn't come in. A table of 3 gentleman in suits waited patiently for a fourth member and none of them seemed happy to be there. But regardless of their rudeness towards you, you gave them your best service and did your best to make sure they would leave without complaints.
"That wasn't the deal!" one man shouted as you quietly came up to their table, placing their second round of drinks on the table. "I don't care if you don't think it was the deal, it's the deal now!" another snapped. 
"That's it!" the first man replied with anger before standing from his chair. 
"Sit down! Don't make a scene" the other muttered, "I'm sorry miss, somebody has had one too many drinks tonight" He looked at you with an apologetic smile. Before you knew it, your life flashed before your eyes as the angry man wrapped on arm around your neck, trapping you in a headlock while having a gun pointed to your left temple. 
You instantly dropped your notepad and pen in shock. Other guests took cover under the tables while staff called 9-1-1. 
"Let her go, idiot! You're over reacting" one of the gentlemen spoke. 
"We had a fucking deal! If you do this, my entire business will go under and I won't let you do that to me! Not again!" your attacked spat back, pressing his gun harder against your temple. 
"P-please, let me g-go" you sobbed, tears rolling down your cheeks. All you could think about were your children and how badly you just wanted to get home to them. "Shut up! And as for you bastards, if you do this, I will make sure the entire world know what you plan to do!" 
"Damn, looks like you guys beat me to the fun" a familiar voice caught your attention, Natasha. "Who the fuck are you?" Your attacker turned you both slightly to face her. "How about you let her go and I'll show you who I am?" Natasha replied with a light smirk, her own weapon pointed at the man holding you tightly in his hold. 
 The man pushed you to the floor and quickly fired his gun at Natasha, missing her as she took cover and taking him out with a clear shot between the eyes. The other man quickly jumped up from their seats with their own weapons pointed at the red head you considered a good friend. Meanwhile, you took cover under a table with other guests while the sounds of guns and bullets flew across the restaurant. 
Moments passed and you along with all the other guests were too shaken up to come out from under the tables as the restaurant grew with silence. Some guests began to emerge from the safety, "It's safe now everybody, you can come out" Natasha announced but still, you couldn't bring yourself to come out from under the table until Natasha came to you. 
"Are you okay?" she asked with worry in her eyes. 
"W-what, I m-mean who are you?" you asked, hesitant to take her hand. "How about we get you home and I'll explain everything" Natasha offered. You had no reason not to trust her, she did just save your life. So you took her hand and nodded softly, still in shock. 
----
"So you're an avenger? That explains why I've felt like I've seen you before" you looked up at Natasha she handed you a cup of tea, Nat chuckled, "I couldn't say anything. I was undercover and I'm so sorry you got in the middle of all that" she sat down beside you. 
"Hey, the way I see it, I now have a fun story to tell the kids later on when they're older" you chuckled, taking a sip of your drink. "I guess you'll be moving back to New York?" you asked, your eyes dropped to the mug in your hands. 
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean we still can't be friends. I'll give you my number and we can catch up whenever. Besides, I think I'm going to really miss the food" Nat smiled softly. Making you playfully shake your head at the Avenger, "I should get going, I have to report back to my team but I'm going to write down my number and leave it on the fridge for you, okay?" she added. 
"Sure" you smiled, "thank you for the lift" you added. 
Natasha left, leaving her number stuck on your fridge for you to put in your phone later on. You placed your now empty mug in the sink for tomorrow's problem when you noticed a small bag on the countertop, you did recognize it and assumed that Natasha had left it behind, so you called her. 
"Hey Nat, it's Y/n. You left a bag in my kitchen" you spoke when she answered the phone. 
"Open it, it's yours" Natasha replied, "I'm going to hang up before you can say anything about it" she chuckled before she hung up. Slowly you unzipped the bag to be greeted with a sight of cash, more than enough to help you get on top of rent for months to come with a little left over to buy general things for your kids. On top of the cash was a note;
"Just a kind person doing a kind thing, don't think too much about it. Thank you for your lovely service, I'll see you again soon. 
 ~ Nat x"
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Taglist: @red1culous | @sayah13 | @charl-lally | @when-wolves-howl | @bentleywolf29 | @fxckmiup | @natasha-belova | @blackwidow-3 | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok | @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145 | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @apollo2907 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @ahintofchaos | @fluffyblanketgecko | @puta1 | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @tintedrose12 | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @donnietarantino | @randomnessbecausewhynot | @natashamaximoff69 | @hehehehannahthings | @pandaemonium111 | @imnotslouching | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @marvel-madnessx | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @natashaswife4125 | @katiemay-025 | @aphrcdtes | @romanoffs-widow | @natsxwife | @maria-403 | 
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accio-victuuri · 3 months
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WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE A LEMONADE 🍋🍋🍋
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this post is connected to the whole cotti drama that i talked about here & here. the brand has since then posted their statement and apologized, and make no mistake, this has nothing to do with cpf and even if they are szd. it’s all about pr damage control and wanting to gain back the loyalty of wyb’s core fans. i wanna say (sadly) this is not something new in c-ent. so/o fandoms do this all the time, they want the “best” for their idol so they throw tantrums and stage boycotts. what a lovely group of people, nope. brands (should) know this. that popular idols bring in their fandom/money, but one misstep can be a huge problem. for example with cotti, they had a collab with dove last year (august 2023) , xz was already endorsing them at the time but wyb wasn’t. so it’s not like this was done out of nowhere. they just did a repeat collab. but we all know the difference now.
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i made a boxiao endorsement cpns post before and consider this as a continuation. cause funnily enough, some so/os started digging up previous “incidents”. thank you for giving us more examples i guess…. 😂😂😂
lemme make a lemonade out of this then!
i will start with this reaction from a passerby because of the hs tag that went on earlier:
There is Cotti downstairs in the company, ever since WYB’s endorsement, there are so many people who buy itevery time. My children also like Dove chocolate.
I saw the hot search today and I was very curious, so I checked 1005. Why can't it be stuck? Isn’t business cooperation normal? Why do fans keep making trouble?
I'm just very curious, so I searched about the product again. WYB and XZ are tied. That’s it! I didn’t know they were in love before!
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LOL OMG HAHAHAHAHAAH IM CRYING 🤣🤣🤣 Please!!! If some people just kept quiet then it would be fine. CPFs are such a small group of people that were only commenting on the collab and buying products. So i don’t know what’s the problem. I understand how some fans are sensitive with how WYB is perceived in relation to XZ. and that they don’t want him to appear like he needs XZ to succeed. but aren’t these toxic fans the very people who should know that it isn’t true? both boys are where they are now because of their own merit.
It’s hilarious cause the normal passerby just found out that WYB and XZ are “in love” lol all because of people over reacting.
These are legit brands doing this. CPNs are for CPFs. you know what, sometimes, so/os are so much better at picking up cues like this 😂😂😂😂
THIS SISTER GAVE EXAMPLES OF WHEN WYB ENDORSED BRANDS USED 10:05. cause apparently, XZ owns this number and time.
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Redmi (p2) posting at 10:05 for the new year greeting and K70, Lowen (p3) doing the same and setting 10:05 as the time for sales to be opened. I already talked about shu uemura in my old post so better refer to that instead. Chanel (p7) selling perfume and how you can customize it, the example on their website is 肖战. i didn’t even know that happened. lol. i’m such a bad cpf. 😅😅😅
let me expound on p6 cause the photo is too small.
it says WYB got stuck at 10:05 card point 9 times.
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so the examples are ariel (bilang), redmi, stride, ping an and then yibo himself. i think the example could the legendary colgate post ( if you know, you know. it’s a big fandom cpn ). and last is richora using 10:05 on their watch. so suspicious lol. must all be connected to XZ! i don’t get it! who is the cpf now??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
here are some more! this time, XZ brands/magazines trying to associate themselves with WYB by using the time 18 ( yibo ) or 08:05 p3 is crest. p4 is kxz and p5 is zhenguoli.
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next is this one they dug out for GUCCI. it’s a customized tag. dude. why? do people really think this is a backhanded way from GUCCI trying to tie XZ and WYB? lol. This is obviously a CPF who bought from them and wanted that to be on there because they are a customer! Should GUCCI screen that? make sure every single customer doesn’t associate XZ with others? Make it make sense 🤪🤪🤪
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li-ning using a design of someone skateboarding. lol. the brand has had their own street wear and skateboard line for some time now. and then breo japan tagging wyb on their twitter. which is i guess, more of a mistake on whoever their social media person is. they wanted more likes and saw xz and wyb are usually tied together so they added wyb.
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lastly, the game xz was promoting before using 85. and then pokemon x dove collab. which is again — makes me go what??? pokemon is such a huge brand that companies love to collab with. as a cpf, i have boundaries when it comes to cpn, i even have disclaimers but i guess solo fans don’t. everything must be related! 👀
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i guess there are more examples but these are the ones i have been seeing from so/o fans as proof. of what exactly? i don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ coincidences for a lot of these and not an attempt to associate with someone. i can understand why some brands will do it back in 2019, during cql promos, because it was expected and they were actively promoting a show together.
so what are cpfs doing now? well. supporting cotti ( sample video here ) coffee as fans should and enjoying the unintentional candies the solo fans have prepared for us 😌😌😌
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infranuz · 1 year
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“ MY GF’S FAMOUS ” — tokyo revenger headcanons ( x fem )
where tokyorev boys s/o is a kpop idol,, female reader,, draken, mikey, baji, mitsuya, chifuyu ,, modern au
— IVE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS FOR SO LONG, just thinking abt it always had me thinking of ideas to how they would all have their kpop idol s/o im so glad to finally be writing this &lt;3
warnings;; none I think (hopefully..) most likely bad spelling and a lot of grammar mistakes (not proofread bc it’s late and I’m too sleepy,, hopefully everything is right tho..)
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ryuguji ken “draken”
surprisingly he actually knows a thing or two about kpop and idols. Was surprised to see you pop up on tv when he stayed over with Mikey because Emma actually likes ur group. “Woah Ken-chin!! isn’t that [name]??” Draken seriously had to double check to see if it was actually you.
When you actually told him you were a kpop idol he kissed your forehead and said “I know” so proudly. Believe it or not he brags about it to his friends “my girlfriend is a kpop idol, you should stream their music!!”
ALSO he once dragged you along to a party (mitsuyas bday party) and everyone was there, when I tell you hakkai froze and almost fainted at the sight of you. #3 biggest and supporter right there (according to draken) you had to kind of step out for a second with draken before hakkai had a heart attack.
still he was so happy to meet you (his bias btw..) many congratulations and nice to meet you’s from him.
at some point paparazzi actually noticed you with him out on a date (thankfully they didn’t get to snap any pictures) draken dragged you out of the park as fast as he could covering you with his hoodie. he protects you from paparazzi you can’t tell me otherwise &lt;3
BONUS: whenever he hears your songs pop up on the radio (no matter where he is) he turns it all the way up. If anyone is around him he recommends your unit to them. “They’re really good specially [name]!!” (Of course he also looks up to your group members he just likes to brag about you a lot <33)
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sano manjiro “mikey”
Once again,, surprisingly knows what kpop is all because of his sister. (I’m telling you Emma is a kpop Stan u can’t tell me otherwise) when he actually gets into your music he’s hooked
He would steal Emma’s photocard collection of you or pretty much anything with your face or name on it. Wouldn’t even feel guilty abt it, not one bit “she’s my gf I think that’s enough explanation!!” “WELL I BOUGHT IT SO ITS MINE” yeah they would both argue until you actually gave Emma new signed merch
MOVIE NIGHTS WITH HIM AND HIS SISTER and many Shinichiro.. you can’t tell me otherwise. You guys would have pop corn and snacks before watching the movie all while having your groups music playing on the background (supportive bf I love him <;3)
He hates paparazzi sm, I feel like he would be really jealous of other people taking pictures of you specially when you’re just trying to have a nice time at some cafe. Anytime paparazzi came to bash you and take pictures with you he would cling onto you and cover you from their view. “Only I should be able to take pictures of you” with a pouty face
You would take him to meet your group members and he would ask for autographs from each of them (to brag to Emma ofc). The dude doesn’t even know their names.. it’s okay tho because he’s now best friends with them!!
He actually stayed on set once you guys were filming an mv for your recently released song. Your group tried to get him to try and learn the dance (he actually made it to the behind the scenes videos which was him dancing with your group)
he reads those [name] x reader fan fictions, hee proud of it actually. Others can keep imagining while he can actually have the real thing, im almost sure he would actually have a fan account just for you.
he 100% goes to your concerts with Emma, you actually reserve him and his sister seats. Most of the time you’re always looking at him when you’re performing. if you send him kisses or winks while you’re dancing he’ll immediately go insane.
he gets backstage privileges. yes he does indeed get that privilege. always congratulated you and your group mates for your amazing performance. is extremely clingy after you guys leave for the hotel you booked. he ends up staying with you because he’s too lazy to drive back to his own house.
BONUS: CUDDLES, the best cuddles you’ve ever received in your life, specially after an exhausting performance. he takes care of you <33 “you did great today”
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baji keisuke
he has some idea what kpop or idols are.. the moment you told him he just said “cool” Chifuyu would be the one to explain it to him. Afterwards he would be happy to listen to your songs and even buy your albums
100% convinced his mother would listen to you, idc idc fight me she would. His mother loves you i know she does, the moment you visited baji to meet his mother she cried tears of joy. give this woman free merch SIGNED, dude you would go as far as to take her to your group members so she could meet them all sobs.
once you were tired like really tired since you were coming from endless hours of practice so all you wanted was to spend time with your bf.. you knocked on the door and when he let you in all of his friends were there playing a board game
chifuyu who had begged baji to let him meet you immediately greeted you, bro was fascinated, astonished, flabbergasted to finally see you in flesh and bone. that day you stayed over and played games with them by the end of it you fell asleep. baji tucked you into his bed and afterwards fell asleep hugging you.
HE LOATHES ABSOLUTELY HATES PAPARAZZI. he almost punched one of them once because you were caught completely off guard as they took pictures of you with the flash on. “Piss off cant you see we’re busy??” Most of your fans actually think he’s rude but he’s a sweet guy who just wants to protect his gf <;3
No but fr he would go as far as to break some cameras just so you could have some relaxing time without having to worry about paparazzi. although many attempts have failed because there is abt 100 pictures of you and baji online having dates and picnics.. let’s just say he’s pretty pissed off abt it
baji would 100% teach you how to protect yourself from weird people, pervs and all that stuff. “There’s weird people out there so you need to know how to at least land a punch” you actually ended up sending some perv to the hospital for kicking him where it hurts. baji was proud yet disgusted at how the man even tried to make a move.
BONUS: yk how cats often come into his room, you always take care of them with baji when you stay over. it’s as if the cats were your children and you and baji were their parents.
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mitsuya takashi
mitsuya actually listened to your songs even before you started dating. he was quite lucky (as he claims) to have met you that rainy day that you had forgotten your umbrella and he had offered his. “excuse me? here you can use my umbrella if you want” he was so sweet about it “ah, thank you so much I can’t afford my papers getting wet, will you be fine?”
you were surprised he didn’t bash you with questions and asking for an autograph so you guessed he didn’t know who you were. you ended up giving him your personal number so you could return his umbrella. he was shocked when he found out who you actually were,, the rest is pretty much history
his sisters love you, you always make sure to bring them some type of gift before visiting. mitsuya actually tries to get you to not buy them anything because he thinks it’s a lot but cmon now mana and luna deserve love. they wanted your groups albums for Christmas and they got that and more, you got all your group members to record some type of video and greeting they thanked you profusely afterwards
he’s a designer and you are an idol.. guess what that means. HE MAKES YOUR OUTFITS,, he totally does I know it. anytime your group and you come up with a theme for your mvs Mitsuya always offers to make your outfits. you always proudly wear all of his creations,, like for an interview?? red carpet?? music video?? or just an outfit overall Mitsuya is your guy.
paparazzi would be asking you who the designer is and all you have to say is “This is a piece made by my boyfriend, Mitsuya Takashi.. thank you for asking” he gained a few hundred of followers that day.
dates a lot of dates with him whenever you have free time, even tho paparazzi may sometimes ruin it’s okay because there’s a few 20 new pictures of both of you online showing the world how in love u are.
BONUS: movie nights with him and his sisters, it’s pretty much basically just you and Mitsuya since mana and luna always fall asleep on the first 10 minutes of the movie. anyway it’s more time for you and Mitsuya so win win??
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matsuno chifuyu
now this little silly he has a whole shelf full of your groups albums, magazines and posters. he listens, streams, quite literally enjoys your music (he stans new jeans and wonder girls you can’t tell me otherwise)
your relationship is pretty much public, all of your fans know who he is. I believe they follow peke j’s Instagram account, (it’s what they love most abt your bf) like his cats account has more followers than his own main acc😭
every time you stay at chifuyu house you always make sure to bring some type of treat for peke j, he absolutely adores you. cuddle peke j and leave chifuyu outside his own bed quite literally
LIBRARY DATES,, you both go to the library to check out/buy manga and other books you may like. you guys have those cute little cafe dates where you guys either spend your time reading or just talking about your day and life
he watches your interviews, AND he was once invited to go into one. like a couple interviews or yk those interviews where couples get cards with questions that only they know abt each other. or just cute games for couples,, yeah those basically. fan base went crazy after that interview dropped
you planned on adopting a cat once so chifuyu recommended some adoption centers. sadly you didn’t end up adopting a cat but you did get a date at a cat cafe so a loss and a win?? “look at this cat!! her name is bee she’s so cute” so many cats surrounded him it was cute <33
he’s neutral abt paparazzi tbh, he just dislikes it when you feel uncomfortable being bashed by so many people at the same time. sadly he can’t do much about them,, but when you’re both out of their sight he treats you to whatever you want a lot of comfort from his part
BONUS: since you’re friends with a lot of other kpop idols you invited chifuyu once to meet some of them. he got to meet a lot of his biases and got a shit ton of autographs and merch,, afterwards he thanked you endlessly,, lots of kisses <33
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©asalamis ,, please don’t copy, steal or plagiarize my work in any way, reblogs and likes are appreciated,, hope you enjoyed ty for reading <;3
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dexiiexox · 8 months
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On tour with Chris!
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a/n: sooo this is my first time writing for any of the triplets and this is more of a headcanon of what i think it would be like on tour with Chris
Chris Sturniolo x reader
request: no
warnings: mentions of kissing
SORRY FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES❕
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You originally didnt want to go, becuase you felt like you were intruding their space and you just wanted Chris to enjoy this time with his brothers without you being in the way
Chris however, didnt give up and kept on begging you to come with them, reassuring you it was no bother if you came along
He somehow managed to get you to give in and joined them on tour
Time on tour is a lot of fun and you guys always make eachother laugh, you’re all goofing around, making loads of funny tiktoks together and you even joined in on some of the wednesday videos they made (like the charades video, personaly I absolutely died when Chris was acting like a monkey💀😭)
During the shows Chris would call you up on stage and get you to join them up there (only if you were comfertable with it of course💕)
He would also check in on you, make sure you were okay and make sure you were comfertable with everything
Of course you were somewhat uncomfertable, but just mostly scared about the "fans" being angry or hating on you for being with Chris (but youre a bbg and the real fans stan you and Chris💕🤞)
You and Chris was no secret, you guys had been open with the fans for a while now, but you we’re still scared, there had of course been some hate online, but the real ones LOVE you girl! (And I love you as well, and so should youuu❤️❤️❤️)
Most of the fans even wanted to meet you and wanted for you to join in on their group photos
Chris would be really proud and happy about getting to show you off, seeing how much the fans loved you and how good of a time you were having
Chris would love seeing you enjoy this as much as he did, he gets to meet his supporters and the ones who allow him to have the job he has, doing all this with his brothers and being able to enjoy that time with them and you at the same time💕
He would keep his hands to himself when you guys were in front of the fans and on stage, all of that, but Chris on the tour bus is a different story
And of course he would brag soooo much about his wins, just dangling his medals in your face while smirking (you’re ofc proud of him, but the bragging gets a little too much for you along with Nick and Matt as well😒)
As the great girlfriend you are, you’re obviously supporting him in every show wearing an article of clothing or accesories in the color orange🧡 (even though I KNOW we’re all secretly rooting for Nick💜🥳)
He would be really clingy and wants to be by you every second, hugging you, cuddling, kisses on the cheeks, quick pecks, holding your hand, simple things as his knee touching yours, just touching you in any way so he knows you’re there
He’d even squeeze into the same bunk as you in the tour bus, he really would care if there was little space, as long as he’s close to you and able to hold you
He would always offer to buy you stuff and pay for your food, even if you told him otherwise, telling him you can pay yourself, but of course he always ends up paying (as he should, Chris treating you like the queen you are👑)
You would of course have a lot of fun with both Nick and Matt as well
You also end up witnessing the most ridiculous arguments EVER, where Nick is right as usual 😌👍
And while on the topic of arguments, Chris would just keep going and going about him being right and trying to prove it, to the point where nothing makes sence and they all just give up and drop the whole argument
I also feel like Chris would be kind of indecisive of what to wear, so he’d ask you about your opinion on his outfits to make sure they actually look good
But in the end you all have a great time and youre really proud of three of them, what they have achieved and how far they’ve all come!💜🩵🧡
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That was really all I came up with, and again I’ve never written for any of them, so sorry if its off😭
So so so so sorry for any spelling mistakes or gammar mistakes, english is not my first language sooo you’ll have to bare with me :,))
Also, please send me requests, becuase Im not too sure on what else to write. I was thinking about writing about myself so you guys can get to know me :D👍
Anyways, I hope youve had a good day or night and dont forget that youre absolutely worth it!! <3
-dexiie💕
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lina-linny · 4 months
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summary: wooyoung has a panic attack on stage but you’re there for him
words: 1.6k
tw: panicattack, mobbing, hate, death threats
I laughed a little at something San had just said when my boyfriend Wooyoung rushed into the room. I turned to him a little worried. He had been so stressed all day and I didn’t know exactly why. In addition, he seemed to avoid us all or it was just a coincidence, at least I and Wooyoung had exchanged only a few words today. "Did you see my microphone? I can’t find it anymore," he said in a slight panic.
"Don’t worry, your micro is over here," Hongjoong replied, looking at Wooyoung as anxiously as I did. "Is everything okay, Wooyoung?" I asked cautiously. He nodded hastily and disappeared from the waiting room where we were sitting.
~
The concert by Ateez, because of which we sat here in the back stage area of the hall, would start in 15 min. So I decided to check on Wooyoung. I found my boyfriend in one of the adjoining rooms, where he practiced the dances, from the songs Ateez would perform.
I stopped in the doorway, Wooyoung obviously hadn’t discovered me yet. After Crazy Form finished, the same song started to play again and Woo went back to the starting position to repeat everything again.
He didn’t make a single mistake and yet I wondered how long he had been doing this, he could do the dance. Why did he still practice it so obsessively? Was he nervous about the concert? But why? He had done so many shows already. Why was he so scared?
I was tired of thinking about what he was thinking all the time, I was his girlfriend and I could talk to him. So I stepped out of the doorway and into the room until Wooyoung noticed me. He hastily turned off the music and looked at me questioningly. "Hey, how are you? I noticed that you’ve been so... nervous all day." I asked the musician carefully. He ran desperately through his hair.
"I’m fine." he smiled at me, but I knew how put-on it was.
"You think too much again, didn’t I advise you to stop? And don’t wrinkle your forehead like that. But don’t worry, I would still love you with wrinkles." he grinned, but I couldn’t pull a smile over his teasing. I was still worried.
But of course Wooyoung was as usual. If something really border him, he would keep all his worries and problems to himself until he exploded. He also liked to make everyone know that he was super good, no matter how fucked up he really was.
"Woo listen, you can just talk to me…" but I was interrupted by Jongho walking into the room.
"Hyung, where are you? Let’s go." Wooyoung’s face stiffened, but he nodded and walked out of the room with one last glance to me.
I ran after the two men after a short hesitation. I watched all 8 members prepare for the stage and at the last moment before they went out to their fans, I pulled Wooyoung aside and pressed him firmly against me.
He seemed a little puzzled, partly because I was otherwise not the person of the two of us who initiated physical contact. But after a short break he pressed me to himself.
I frowned when I noticed that he was shaking as he turned away from me and stepped out onto the stage. What was wrong with my boy? Why was he so nervous?
I stepped into one of the exits of the stage so that I could watch Ateez perform, but was not seen by any of the fans.
I noticed Wooyoung shaking, was it really just the effort of dancing? The group had now finished their first song and Wooyoung discovered me in my hiding place. I smiled at him, which he did not reply.
The next song started playing and I noticed my boyfriend making a little mistake in the choreography. He grimaced in panic and immediately made the next mistake. He entangled himself in a vicious circle, where one slip followed the next. I noticed that Wooyoung had snapped breathing, gasping for air more like it was normal.
Wooyoung kept dancing, even though his face was so panicked and scared that I almost couldn’t stand it anymore, what was wrong with him? And suddenly I saw it, my heart missed a beat and at the same time everything made sense. I saw Wooyoung tap his temple three times, this gesture being our secret sign, symbolizing a panic attack. We had developed it when I had many panic attacks several years ago.
I opened my eyes wide, a single tear streaming from Wooyoung’s eyes, and I knew he was about to collapse. So I rushed straight to the stage.
I didn't care about all the fans anymore. I just wanted to make sure, that Wooyoung was ok.
When I got to him, he stopped dancing, he shivered and gasped for air. My boyfriend clung to my arms and more tears ran from his eyes, he slumped and whimpered slightly.
I knelt down before him, and my heart was torn to see him like this. While I was holding him, I knew that these gestures alone would not help him.
Almost automatically I took Wooyoung and took him from stage as best I could. The others looked worried and a little overwhelmed at Wooyoung and me. I symbolized to them that they should finish the song and hesitantly they did so.
I dropped Wooyoung on a chair in an empty room, away from all the things that could stress him. I should try the easiest way to calm him down, maybe it helped. Otherwise, I would have to change my mind. So I started focusing on his breathing.
"Woo I want you to breathe in and out with me, okay?" he just nodded. I began to breathe in a calm rhythm and he did the same. When his breathing had calmed down a little, I started to talk to him a little. When I realised that he was feeling better again, I took him in my arms and Wooyoung clung to me.
I sighed. I hated it when he felt so bad.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?" I asked him carefully. I really wanted to know what had stressed him out so much. However, I would also respect his boundaries if he didn't want to tell me.
Wooyoung sighed and hugged me even closer to him. He was silent for a while, but then he started talking to me.
"You know, I found this website yesterday where so many Atinys were making fun of me. They said I was too fat or untalented. They also said that I would probably mess up the whole choreography at this concert again. They wrote that they would kill me if I did just one step wrong and they were right. I messed everything up." Wooyoung trembled in my arms and buried his face in the crook of my neck.
It was so different to see Wooyoung so vulnerable. He didn't deserve any of this. He always did his best. At that moment, I hated those people and everyone else who kept hurting him with all my heart. Why would a person do something like that? Didn't they have any hobbies? Were they so unhappy with themselves that they had to do this to another person?
But before I could answer him, before I could reassure him that everything was okay, the rest of the members came rushing into the room. They all looked very worried and immediately burst out with thousands of questions, ranging from "How are you?" to "What happened?".
In the meantime, Wooyoung had detached himself from me and was now content to hold my hand. He slowly explained to the others what had happened. But I noticed that he left out the reason for his panic attack. He probably just didn't want to worry the others any further, but at that moment I was incredibly grateful that he had trusted me enough to share everything with me. ~ Wooyoung cuddled up to me on the overstuffed sofa in the apartment that Ateez lived in. The nine of us sat on the sofa and two armchairs, watching a drama together. Ateez had cancelled the concert a few hours earlier and promised all the Atinys who had been looking forward to the show a ticket for the next show or their money back. Wooyoung had wanted to pretend that nothing had happened and simply carry on with the concert. But we all I, the other members and their manager had vehemently contradicted him. And so we ended up having a cosy evening watching TV on the couch.
I could tell, that Wooyoung already was feeling better because he started making fun of me again and teasing all of us.
I hugged Wooyoung to me. He shouldn't have to go through this. He gave me a kiss, grinning mischievously, which admittedly took me quite by surprise. I laughed and he joined in. Slowly my boyfriend started to press more and more kisses on my mouth until I pushed him away slightly. He pouted in offence. I laughed and gave him a final kiss.
"Okay, he must feeling dazzling." I thought with a grin and cuddled up to Wooyoung's shoulder again. I loved him so much that sometimes I would just grab this precious person and lock him in a room so that no one could ever hurt him. But I couldn't do that. The world was cruel, but there was nothing I could do about it.
I pressed a kiss to Wooyoung's hair and swore to myself that I would protect him as best I could.
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daftpatience · 5 months
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Do you have any tips or advice for running an artists booth at a convention? I'm thinking about doing it eventually and been wanting to hear from people who have done it before :^)
yeah!!! lemme rattle off a few things off the top a my head also, pardon me 4 using amazon dot ca links for products that i mention. its just easy to find references that way (and often u can look up the brand and find their non-amazon store etc etc)
this got super long so im putting it under a cut!!
• join an artist alley group!! i'm in this artist alley discord and it is a fantastic place to get info about cons, table display ideas, manufacturer recommendations, etc. there are more than just this group out there and i think there are bigger ones but i personally really like this one ^u^ i make a ton of use of the display resources and manu recommendation channels!
• if you can afford it, be choosy about the events you apply to. there are a lot of cons out there that are fantastic, and a lot that aren't worth the trouble, and i don't necessarily mean small vs big cons. some of my fav events are smaller artist alleys local to me, and most of the artists i know avoid informa (fanexpo) like the plague. check out what other artists have to say about past events and keep an eye out for red flags: personally i find cons with really out of date/poorly advertised social medias and websites that have mismatched info are a warning sign of a mismanaged and not well attended event. • you don't need a lot of fancy display stuff to start, those sorts of things you can build up over time. im a fan of getting a ton of my display stuff from the dollar store >:)
when you're ready and need the space to display a good amount of art the main thing you wanna pick up is definitely something that gives your table some verticality, whether that's a pvc pipe style setup, pegboards, or modular cube shelving (we all used to use these big heavy grid ones until the plastic sheet covered ones came out and now we all use those. theyre cuter and lighter and fit better on a table and come in more colours yayay. im sure some people still like the grid ones since they fit gridwall accessories tho) there are lots of other ways to display stuff but these r what i am most familiar with. definitely helps to look at youtube and pinterest and discord groups for display ideas!!
another thing you will want to start is a tablecloth. not every con has their tables already covered! there are those plastic picnic ones at dollar stores, and you can thrift bedsheets/fabric too.
• depending on the type of display and art you do you'll need some way to attach signs/prints/charms/etc to your display. i just moved from blu-tack to magnets but i used to use sewing clips (back when i used the grid cubes) and before then masking tape. all of them are okay and cool! except blu-tack. don't make the same mistakes as me it adds like 40 whole minutes to teardown and it leaves gross oil on the prints after some time. evil
• if you don't have business cards you can make a sign with a qr code that links to you/your shop! there are lots of qr code makers online that u can even customize with images and colours and stuff. there will be people that wanna know how to find you again after a con!
• these days a lot of people don't bring cash to conventions and it's pretty vital to bring some sort of card reader or other digital payment method. most of us use square - they recently made it so that the phone app can accept tap! so you don't need to jump for the expensive physical readers. i've also got a paypal dot me qr code and my etransfer email (i think this is a canadian thing) on a lil sign on the table so people have lots of payment options. usually over 50% of my con income comes from non-cash sales!
• make sure to bring change!! we've forgotten in the past and done okay but it's always handy to be able to make change for people. you'll want a secure place to put cash as well, whether it's a locked moneybox that you keep out of sight or a place on your person (friend of mine uses a fanny pack!) you never wanna leave your table completely unattended but especially when it comes to the moneybox. if it's a multi day con this is an item you mustn't leave at your table overnight.
• keep count of your sales and expenses properly so that you can see how much you made at the end of the con. i really like spreadsheets but you can even just note it down in a book. here's a little example of one con for me:
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• you'll want to make a checklist of stock and display stuff to bring, but don't forget to make a list of minor stuff like phone chargers and scissors and tape and glue and pens and paper. multiple types of tape and paper if possible. they don't feel super important until you're stuck because you forgot to make a price sign and have to get by with a sharpie and a napkin. don't let that be you!! dollar store sticky note pads are super useful for this type of thing.
• plan out your prices and do as much prep (counting, sign making, display planning, packing/sorting) as you can beforehand so that the event doesn't feel too stressful. make sure your merchandise is stored in an easily accessible way for you behind the table so you aren't scrambling or rummaging too much when people are asking for stuff!
• similarly, whatever you can leave out for people to just pick/grab themselves, the more of it you're likely to sell. things like stickers and charms are good for this - people like to touch stuff! and it makes it so you don't need to go fishing for items for people as frequently. generally i don't do this with more expensive items just to be safe.
• if you sell prints, people are gonna ask for sleeves to keep them safe, especially at outdoor events. sometimes people ask for sleeves/bags even if they dont buy anything. they're a good idea to have on hand and you can find em for pretty cheap online and for a bit more expensive at dollar stores (i use OPP bags. if you dont wanna use plastic you can always get paper bags/envelopes/glassine bags instead)
• a cushion for the chair is a good idea. lots of conventions have really uncomfy chairs. some folks even bring camping chairs instead!
• pack snacks/lunch/water/drinks/have lunch plans. if you have a table buddy that is able to run out for food that's always nice. you might be sitting but it uses a lot of energy to interface all day!! you'll be exhausted and hungry and it's gonna be important to get enough fuel for your brain to function properly. i genuinely would recommend juice/soda/coffee/energy dink alongside water and food if you wanna live, especially if its a multi day con. get good sleep on days between!
• if you're excited to do trades with other artists during the con, the general etiquette is to wait until later in the day/near the end when the crowds are winding down! it's always okay to ask if someone's doing trades, and don't be upset or press them if they aren't interested or have certain stuff they don't want to trade.
• speaking of con etiquette, depending on the type of vert you are (intro/extro) and or how much customer service experience you have, interfacing can be nervewracking. my general rule is that if they stop to look, i say Hello and let them browse. if they seem interested in my table i try and do some small talk. stuff like How are you/How's the event been for ya/compliments on their outfit/cosplay/merch they have on like pins etc are good! kids and old folks love this. as tiring as it is to do some of my favourite parts of cons is talking to nice people that like my art!! all the folks that say nice things about my work are what keep me drawing ;w; i keep my sketchbook with me to jot down/doodle nice and funny encounters just cus it makes me happy to look back on XD
• when it's teardown time try to put stuff away as neatly as you can. you might be tired and just wanna toss all your stuff into whatever it is you brought it in but i promise future you (especially next-con you) will be so thankful that you put all your price signs into one baggie etc etc.
• speaking of bringing and putting away merch - you'll need a way to get it all from your home/car to your table and back. lots of people use dollies and other types of utility cart (i can guarantee there are a bunch of those grandma grocery ones at your local thrift store!!) - i personally use a big luggage bag and a collapsible wagon, but back in the day we used to CARRY bin after bin of stuff from the car and back in multiple trips which i would NOT reccomend lol. not every convention hall is easily accessible or close to parking so not having to lift stuff if you can avoid it is gonna be vital.
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ozwriterchick · 8 months
Text
A Joe Burrow Story...
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A/Note: My first RPF, well the first I've published. I normally write Marvel (Steve, Bucky, Sam) but decided to try my hand at something a little different.
I hope you like it, if you do, please like, reblog and leave me some feedback (kindly would be appreciated..)
Fic inspired by @burreaux-drys - thank you for your amazing writing, even if it is "all over the place"
I do not own the characters in this story except the OFC/OC characters mentioned.
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, translated or in any other way taken/stolen.
Characters: Joe Burrow; OFC!Reader; OC!Readers Best Friend; Mentions of other Bengal players; OC Bengal team members (kind of)
Warnings: Mentions of stalking; Shy reader; Police; that's about it except Joe Burrow I think deserves his own warning (in a good way); Not Beta'd so any mistakes are my own
W/C: 2748
Reader’s pov
I watched the players on the field, easily singling out the one I’d come to see.  It really wasn’t that difficult, he stood out with his mop of dirty blonde hair and the number 9 on his jersey.
My eyes roved down his body to his slim but manly hips and back up again to his broad shoulders, made even broader by the padding in his practice uniform.
He was looking good, but again, he always did, especially to me.  I’ve been in love with him for a while, always from afar, and he had no idea.  Maybe today would be the day I’d get up enough gumption to actually tell him.
This was a closed practice, but that never stopped me before.  There were plenty of ways to sneak into Paycor stadium, even when it was on lockdown, if you knew what you were doing.  And I did.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took my attention away from practice to check.
BFF: Where are you? I’m at your place
Me: Oh, I’m out running errands, sorry.
BFF: Tell the truth, you’re at practice ogling J again aren’t you?
Me: Maybe.. Maybe not.. I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation
BFF: Well then, I’ll join you, I need to see me some Sam.
Me: It’s almost over and it’s a closed practice today, so you won’t be able to get in.
BFF: Closed practice?
BFF: They don’t let anyone into closed practices, how did.. You know what, I dno’t want to know.  Let me know when you’re home. Unless you and J are doing something after practice
Me: Will do. Love you xx
BFF: Love you too xx
As you slipped your phone back into your pocket you realised that practice was over for the day.  You slunk back into the shadows as a couple of the players and officials looked up towards where you had been sitting.  Regardless of anything else, you shouldn’t have been there and you didn’t really want to get caught and banned.
Making your way back to your car you see a line of fans waiting for the players to come out of training.  You chuckle to yourself that they clearly don’t know the tricks that you did.
For a moment you contemplate joining them, you have something you want to give to Joe, but decide maybe next time would be a better option and you jump into the car and head home.
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Later that day.. Back at Paycor Stadium - Joe’s pov
I have a stalker.  There’s no getting around it any more.
I’m sitting in Coach’s office with the cops and Zac, admitting for the first time that somebody is stalking me.  I knew it all along really, but just didn’t want to admit the ’s’ word to myself.  I figured it was just an overzealous fan and that it would be ok.
Things were left on my car at training, when I was at the gym, even when I was at the grocery store but today, I couldn’t ignore it any longer.
After practice I signed some autographs and took some pictures with the fans who’d j for me.  I love my fans and I love interacting with them - for the most part.  Every fan group has those ones who are a bit.. umm, crazier than others.  Fans that would do anything to get closer to their idols.  Not that I consider myself an idol, but I know with my position and public persona, that I’m as much a likely target for the crazies as anyone else.
“So, Joe” the Detective said “Tell us exactly what happened today to make you finally call us”
“Well, I left training and headed to the grocery store.  While I was there, I took a couple of pictures with some fans, nothing major.  When I came out to my car, there were flowers on the hood and something under the windscreen wipers.”
“And this is what was under the wipers?” The Detective asked, holding up the piece of paper that had been on my window.
I nodded, and continued.  “I didn’t really think a lot of it, I just grabbed the flowers and the note and tossed them into the front seat.  Once I got home though, I wasn’t quite so sure this was an innocent interaction.”
“And why do you say that?  Joe, if we are going to find this and make sure nothing happens, we need every piece of information you have.”
“Of course detective.  Well, I got home and parked in my garage and as I got out of the car, something just felt off.  The door between the garage and the house was open but I swear I closed it before I left.  I kinda shrugged it off at first, thinking maybe my Mum had been around, or the cleaner had come even though they weren’t due for a couple of days.”
“But that wasn’t the case?”
“Well, no, once I got inside I realised some things had been moved around and then I saw the note on my kitchen bench.”
“And this is the note you found inside your house?”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at it or read it again so I just nodded and looked down at my hands in my lap.
“Joe, we need to get ahead of this” Coach said. “Detective, do you think we should do a press conference and alert the public to keep an eye out?  I’m sure this person has been around training/practice and the stadium, probably coming to game days when we play here.”
“Let’s just wait it out for now, we don’t want to scare the stalker off and not be able to find them, or worse, have them escalate their behaviour into something dangerous.”
I feel like all I can do is nod, once again.  I just never pictured myself in this situation.
There was a knock on Zac’s office door and one of the admin staff came in with a folder and handed it to Zac, whispering something to him.  I saw his eyes go wide and then he looked down at the folder.
“Ummm, detective, we may have some more information that could shed some light on this case.  We video every practice/training session and these are some stills from today’s practice that might be very interesting.”
Zac hands the folder to the detective as I sit up a bit straighter in my chair, curious about what they could have found from today’s video, given it was a closed practice, meaning nobody was able to come in and watch.
The detective opened the folder and examined the pictures closely and then handed them to me.
“What am I looking at?” I asked.
“Apparently someone was in the bleachers today during practice.  Detective, this was a closed practice today which means that this person has snuck in and possibly could be the person you are looking for.”
I peered closer at the photos.  They were grainy, a bit blurry, you couldn’t really see who it was.  It did look like a female but who could really tell.  I’m sure the police had ways of making the image a bit sharper and maybe getting some identifying details.
The police thanked Zac and I and made their way out with suggestions to beef up my security at home and at the stadium and to also be very aware of my surroundings at all times.  They didn’t think, if this person who snuck into practice today was my stalker that they posed too much danger, but you never know.
I sat for a bit longer with Zac, talking out what was happening because the only other people I could talk to at the moment were my family and my teammates and I didn’t really want to worry either group until we knew more.
On the way home, I rang my security company who agreed to schedule more regular patrols around and near my place and also to ramp up the security footage around the outside of my home.
I hated that I have to do this but I guess my safety should be number one to me and I know my Mum would kill me if she knew about this and I didn’t take these extra precautions.  It all just felt so limiting.
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1 week later - Reader’s pov
I haven’t been back to Paycor.  Almost getting caught in the stadium made me back off a little bit, I didn’t want to get into trouble and be banned from practice or games in general.
I’d been following Joe and the Bengals activity on social media but it just felt so impersonal, that I was itching to get back to practice.  Actually Joe didn’t seem very active on socials the past week and most of the Bengals feed had focused on Tee, Sam and a few of the other players.  All great players but Joe was their franchise player, the top QB in the league and they should be showcasing him whenever they can.
It made me wonder what had happened in the last week.  
After I left training I headed to the grocery store to get some supplies, as my best friend was coming over after work that night for a movie night.  As I was leaving I saw Joe entering the store.  I knew he shopped here but I had never actually run into him and I just smiled at him as I walked out of the store to my car.
He has a very distinctive car and it was parked next to mine so I took a moment to admire it before I loaded my bags into the back seat and headed home again.
Later that night when my friend arrived she had some very interesting news.
“Girl, Joe Burrow has a stalker!”
“What?  I mean, how do you know this?”
“I heard some of the detectives at work today talking about it.  Apparently someone left some things on his car at the grocery store this afternoon and after he got home, someone had broken into his house and left him some kind of note - I don’t know what it said but they are beefing up security at his house.  This is huge.”
“Why haven’t they said anything about it though?”
“Well, they probably don’t want the person escalating to even more dangerous behaviour, although they may be too late for that if whoever it is has already been inside his actual house.”
That conversation has stayed with me, to be honest.  I couldn’t imagine how scared Joe must have been to go to the police about it all.
Today I was heading back to practice.  This one was open but I thought I’d stay in the background anyway, amongst the other fans and not up front like I usually try to be.  Fate, as it seemed, had other plans.
As practice was finishing, a surge in the people there pushed me towards the side of the crowd, closer to where the players exited the field.  As Joe walked past he looked at me and smiled and did a double take.  Did he recognise me?  Is he curious of who I am?
I decided to make a quiet retreat and wait outside for him and hopefully get the balls to talk to him, or give him the gift I had for him.
A few of the players dribbled out of the stadium towards their cars, all stopping to sign autographs and take pictures with the fans.  
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Joe’s pov
I walked out of the stadium towards my car and it always fascinates me how many people stay after practice to talk to, take photos with and get autographs from the players.  I still struggle to understand that some of them are here exclusively to see me.  
Given recent events however, it makes me more cautious as well, and I hate that because I love giving back to my fans.
As I went along the line of fans, I saw one at the back who looked kind of familiar.  I waved her over and said “Do I know you, you look very familiar?”
“Oh, umm, you don’t know me” she said quite shyly. “We bumped into each other at the grocery store last week.”
“Oh yeah, well it’s nice to meet you, did you want a picture?”
“Uh, sure” she replied and got her phone out.
We took a couple of selfies and then she quietly said “I have something for you” and as she reached into her bag I got really nervous.  Maybe this was my stalker.  Now that I think of it, she’s at training a lot, and yes I did see her at my grocery store just before that stuff was on my car.
I nervously looked around for security and mumbled some excuse about forgetting something and sprinted back into the stadium and straight to Zac’s office.
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Reader’s pov
I can’t believe it, I finally got the time, opportunity and guts to talk to Joe and he ran off.  I started to put the drawing I’d done of him back in my backpack when I looked up and saw security coming towards me.
I quickly walked towards my car and managed to get in and drive away before they got to me.  I hope they didn’t catch my licence plate and haul me in for questioning.  Just my luck I’d get in trouble because of an innocent meeting at the grocery store.
Maybe this was my sign to just find a new hobby?
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Another week later - Joe’s pov
Once again, I’m sitting in Coach’s office with the detectives who this time have some good news.
“We’ve made an arrest” the detective told us.
I breathed a sigh of relief that this was over “That was quick, how did you get a break so fast?”
“Well, it all came down to the fans.  Those at practice helped us out with some info, and your observations also  gave us some insight.  We tracked the person down and an arrest was made this morning.  We have some pretty tight proof, so you may not even have to testify, but if you do, we can probably put them away for a few years.  At the least, you can get a restraining order that prevents them from coming near your house, or the stadium, or generally within about 500metres of wherever you are.”
“Thanks detective, I'm so relieved” I said.  “Did they happen to say why they did it?”
“Just a big fan, a bit lonely and wanted to be closer to you but just went about it the wrong way.  Kinda feel sorry for them, but you know, we can’t let emotion into it, otherwise we’d never catch anyone.”
“Well, thanks again detective” Zac said “We are more than grateful for your speedy resolution to this issue.”
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1 year later - Reader’s pov
I walked into the lounge room and smiled, I couldn’t believe I was here.  The misunderstanding from 12 months ago led to a beautiful friendship between me and Joe.  I got over all my nerves with him and we were now able to laugh and joke about the situation.
The police did clock my licence plate that day at training, and they did come to my house and question me about the stalking.  I didn’t hold anything against Joe for thinking it could be me, I was awkward and nervous and shy whenever he was around and he obviously just didn’t see my vulnerability.
But at the next training session, he saw me again and came to talk to me.  He asked me if he and I could have a conversation over coffee, so we went and he told me they’d arrested his stalker and he apologised profusely for thinking it could be me.
He said that when I’d told him I had something for him and reached into my bag, he freaked out and just left.
I laughed and told him that I’d drawn him a picture and I’d love for him to have it if he wanted it.
We chatted for a while longer and then went separate ways.  We’d swapped numbers so that I could arrange to give him the picture and we ended up texting back and forth most days.
I’m not sure if anything will come of this but a good friendship but you never know…
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shrinevandal · 7 months
Text
Initial thoughts on Double and Neoplasm - Who is guilty? What's true and what's a lie?
Hello! This is a (fairly long, sorry) post analysing the MV for Double, as well as Neoplasm, and what it means for Mikoto, Orekoto, a potential 3rd alter, their relationship as a whole, and Mikoto's judgement.
Note: I am a system myself, I am usually not very open about this so please don't ask about the details. But I think it's important to state that I do struggle with a lot of the same stuff Mikoto* does, and so my perception of it comes from a level of understanding that singlets may not have.
Obviously this contains spoilers for both Double and Neoplasm, I would recommend you watch/listen to both beforehand. This is also just my initial interpretation, I have purposefully avoided any other posts about it to make my theory/interpretation as straightforward and from-the-source as possible.
Some terminology notes: I will be using John to refer to Orekoto, as Es has so thoughtfully dubbed him. Also, if I say MILGRAM in all caps I am referring to the project itself, and if I say Milgram in title case I am referring to the location/entity which Es works for. I also believe the 3koto theory, which will become relevant at various points here. Any translators or sources will be linked at the end.
Alright, let's get into it. Music video analysis:
Double - Visual Motifs
There are a lot of visual elements to Double, which I will break down into different sections.
Phone (& Tarot)
There are two major instances of Mikoto's phone being important in the song: Right at the beginning, when he's getting several texts and then an incoming call from "Chief" (almost certainly his boss), and in the middle of the song, when he gets a call from his mom. In the beginning, Mikoto* doesn't even look at the texts, and when he answers the call, he seems to barely be listening.
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Translation of the texts are as follows (thank you rochisama on wordpress!):
- Regarding the first draft you submitted today, I think option B might be the best after all, so can you remake it by morning.
- Also, I forgot to mention, but you made a lot of mistakes with the one we spoke about earlier, so make sure it’s all fixed too. This one also needs to be ready by morning, so I’ll leave it to you to get everything ready.
- Oi, get back here now.
- Are you going to abandon your duties?
There are also two fun little details here with the phone: His lock screen is a picture of the Hanged Man, the same version that was on his shirt in MeMe:
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Also, His battery is at 29%.
Two of prisoner nine.
Later in the song, when his mom calls him, he immediately picks up, greets her energetically despite the bags under his eyes, and informs her he's doing well and not to worry.
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"Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah… well, I mean, some days are hard, but… I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off."
He also hangs up very quickly, as if he doesn't want to talk to her. He gives her placating words and then ends the conversation as soon as he can.
According to his S1 Interrogation questions, Mikoto's family consists of him, his mom, and his younger sister. His parents are divorced. He gets along well with both his mom and sister, but also states that he can't let his mom worry. This checks out with him hiding the truth from her, as letting her know just how badly he's doing would certainly cause concern. Keep all this in mind, it will become important later on.
Eyes
I don't have much of note to say about it right now, but eyes are a pretty heavy visual motif throughout the whole video.
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One thing I will say about it, though, is the large eyes across the whole screen show up twice: Once as orange, symbolizing John, and then as a grey-blue, symbolizing Mikoto.
Colors
There are five important colors: Blue, Green, Red/Orange, and Pink.
I'm grouping red and orange because I believe they both symbolize John. Blue is obviously Mikoto.
As I've mentioned, I am a fan of the 3koto theory- The visuals in the MV for MeMe, and even the composition itself, allude to 3 different entities (Music theory nerd here, hehe - I wanna write my own take on the 3koto theory eventually and talk about the way the song itself changes, but that's for another time.) And now in Double, it seems like there is still that imagery, albeit much less strongly than before.
So green, like in MeMe, symbolizes Midori/Midokoto/whatever you wanna call him. Pink is a little bit of a weird one, so I'll get to that in the moment. Anyway, let's start with some John moments.
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The red glow in the back shows that John is the one fronting in all three of these shots, with Mikoto being asleep behind him in the second one.
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An example of blood splatters with an orange tint. This is part of the reason I think both orange and red symbolize Mikoto, since they're so interconnected here. Also, as mentioned in the eyes section, the eyes there are very orange whereas John is usually associated with red.
Speaking of eyes,
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Huge 3koto implications in a few frames from this shot. John's body flashes green at one point, and the background and fire-halo are green when John's eyes are glowing orange. In the next image, the body's eyes are scribbled over in green. This scene in particular is very interesting to me, with both implications of Midori's existence and his connection to the eye motif. It also calls John "savior"
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Here's another notable instance of 3koto near the beginning, right after John throws Mikoto's phone. Notice the color progression in the scene. Green background with blue text, down to red background and red text. John is clearly being portrayed as an outsider here, with Midori and Mikoto being a duo.
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Going back to blood splatters, there are various points in the video where the "inverse" of the blood is either green or blue. This also checks out with both red and orange being John's colors; Blue is the opposite of orange, and green is the opposite of red. This also doubles (haha) as another example of John being the opposite of MikoMido
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The train itself has a lot of green highlights. When John stares out the door into the other train cars, it flashes green a few times. It's not pictured here, but the door also flashes a staticky pink once, and so does Mikoto's body earlier in that same scene I showed where it's fully green.
Alright, more on pink now. I'm actually not entirely sure what it may symbolise, but my main guess is it's Mikoto's victims.
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Aside from the instances mentioned above, these are the most prominent pink scenes in the video. Similar to how orange was juxtaposed against both blue and green, here it's against blue. In context, these scene also seems to me like a switch, a realization of what Mikoto has done. A brief instance where his memories coexist with him, and he's horrified at his actions.
Double - Overall Analysis
As pointed out in the colors section above, Midori seems to be very present still. He seems to be haunting the video in a way, lying just underneath the surface.
A really important aspect of DID that hasn't been directly addressed by MILGRAM is the fact that it's caused by childhood trauma, usually around the ages 9 to 10 or younger. For those who don't know, this is because young kids have not fully formed their identity and sense of self yet. Usually, kids will eventually consolidate all their various parts into one, which becomes their sense of self. But trauma literally changes how the brain works on several levels, and for some kids, that interrupts the process of those parts fusing together. (This is also why there's discourse behind the idea of an "original" personality - Which one is the "original" between a pair of identical twins, for example? One cell divided into two, so really neither of them are that first cell.)
My theory for Mikoto's childhood trauma and subsequent DID symptoms, is that Mikoto in his current form is the body's "first" alter, and that Midori was the original host. (I have several reasons for believing it's this and not the other way around, but it's not that important for this post. But do think about, "I'm already the fake one.")
We know that John specifically was created as a result of Mikoto's job stress, meaning he was obviously not around when Mikoto and Midori were kids. By the time the events of MILGRAM roll around, it seems like Midori is completely dormant, or at least very rarely fronts, as John seems to pretty clearly imply just his and Mikoto's existence in both Double and Neoplasm. But if John wasn't around when Mikoto was a kid, there has to have been at least one other alter throughout the course of Mikoto's life. You don't just suddenly develop DID at age 23 without having had it since you were traumatized (Unless the MILGRAM team is just clueless about DID, which is possible too but imo they've done a pretty decent job so far so I would rather believe in 3koto. I have faith in them, maybe that'll bite me in the ass eventually, who knows).
Mikoto's childhood trauma is not very clear, but I think it can be one of two main things, and they are likely connected: Either something to do with his parents' divorce, or the reason he is so against worrying his mom.
Mikoto clearly loves his mother a lot, but it seems like doesn't trust her on some level. He doesn't want her to worry, which is an understandable emotion, especially if she puts a lot of pressure on him to perform well, which I have a feeling is the case. (Full disclosure, I could be projecting my own experiences here, because I have had these same struggles with my own mom pressuring me to do well in school and such. But I think it's worth mentioning)
Mikoto clearly hates his job, but he doesn't get a new one. Referencing the Interrogation again, while he seems to enjoy the career path he's on (ie graphic design), the job he currently has is purely to make money, and not for his enjoyment. He also mentions in the Interrogation that he hopes someday he can start his own indie company. In the real world, it's actually very common for graphic designers to start with jobs in advertising, because it makes a lot of money. Then once they have enough to support themselves, they go on to projects they're more passionate about. So Mikoto's reasons for sticking with his advertising job could be either to make money or to satisfy his mom, or both. Again, I could very much be projecting here.
Now onto his dad and the divorce. I won't lie, I am not at all an expert in Japanese law, but I'm fairly familiar with US law because my mom is a lawyer here. So how it usually how it works in the US is that parents divide custody by either working out a schedule or by simply choosing which kid goes with which parent, unless one parent is abusive, in which case all kids go to the non-abusive parent. In Japan, however, apparently the mom is the default parent that kids go to, regardless of other situations, except in some extreme cases probably. Again, not an expert, but it seems that even if Mikoto's mom was abusive in some way, the court system would still give Mikoto and his sister over to her, especially if her form of abuse is purely psychological with no physical evidence. So this is one possibility, but even if both parents were good people and separated on friendly terms, divorce can be traumatizing for kids. It's unclear at what age Mikoto's parents divorced, but it seems to have been long enough ago that he doesn't even consider his dad part of his family. Meaning it's very possibly the main source of trauma that cause Mikoto's DID.
Neoplasm
Alright, finally it's time for the audio drama! This is a much shorter section, but there's a LOT here and I'm really excited about this one actually, because it seems like a step in the right direction for Mikoto and accepting John. He doesn't know it's DID, nor does Es try to tell him, but he acknowledges it as "sleepwalking", which is still super huge. If Kotoko and Es ever choose to inform him, it seems like they have a much better chance at getting across to him now than when MILGRAM started.
John being much more present and coherent is also big news, as he has a full on conversation with Es, and even receives a name from them. Although he expresses concern about this and "wishes he had stayed a monster", I honestly think this is amazing for both him and Mikoto. Along with the sleepwalking analogy, it's progress on their ability to accept themselves and each other.
John also sheds some light on his and/or Mikoto's murder, claiming that there were several indiscriminate victims, and that his memories are also fuzzy, citing that it's likely because he had only recently been born. To me, the most interesting part of this is the fact that John's memories are not intact. While he seems to think it's just due to not really being used to being alive, I think there's another explanation for it. Fuzzy memories are a very common symptom of DID, and most notably happens when one alter tries to access another alter's memories, often because they're being blocked. Maybe in a similar way to how Mikoto doesn't remember anything? 🤔
Another important thing here is that John claims that he is the one who killed people. But the most pressing question is, is he telling the truth?
We know that Milgram's criteria for what counts as murder and who counts as the perpetrator is very loose; For example, Yuno's abortions are enough to qualify her, and Fuuta doxxing Killcheroy is enough to qualify him. So it's not a stretch to think that maybe John really is the killer, and that Milgram just picked Mikoto as the person to be judged since he's the "main" alter. But this honestly doesn't sit right with me.
If there's one thing we know for certain about John and his dynamic with Mikoto, it's that he would do anything to ensure Mikoto's safety. Notice how he was incredibly nonchalant about the murder until Es pointed out that even with psychological evaluation taken into account, the death penalty is still very likely for Mikoto. As soon as they allude to Mikoto being in danger, John's attitude immediately switches, claiming over and over, very relentlessly, that he was the sole killer, and that Mikoto is innocent. His frantic behaviour is a very clear sign that this is survival mode; why would he tell Es the truth if it could put Mikoto in danger?
All of this really goes back to the major differences between them; Mikoto is honest and uses humor to cope, John avoids being open and lashes out at people. Mikoto straight up blocks all the bad memories, John is aware of them but has a hazy recollection of events.
So while it's a possibility that Mikoto is innocent and that John is the killer, I find it much, much more likely that Mikoto did it and then blocked his own memories, and that John is lying about the situation to protect Mikoto. It's what he's always done, after all.
Final thoughts - Forgiven vs Unforgiven
This may be an unpopular take, but I think as of right now, my first instinct is to vote Mikoto as Unforgiven. I'd like to point out that there's a difference between Innocent vs Guilty, which is how the terms are officially translated, but in Mikoto and John's case I think they are interconnected. There are cases in Milgram where I think they're completely separate ideas and cases where I think the difference is moot, and MikoJohn definitely fall into the latter one.
I also am very conflicted on the concept of Metavoting; for example, Amane being voted Unforgiven was an incredibly stupid decision on the majority's part and I'm not afraid to state that. (Tbf Her mental state is delicate enough that forgiving her would also not end well, but lesser of two evils imo. But all that's for another time.) However, with MikoJohn, again, it actually aligns very well with my actual judgement. John very clearly states that it's his belief that forgiving Mikoto will reduce Mikoto's stress, and allow John to fade away. Whether this is a good or bad thing, or neutral even, is pretty complex honestly, but I think for me personally, I would view it as a bad thing.
Again, I am not very open about my system-isms, but I relate a lot to Mikoto in his current state of being unable to accept John's existence. I was in that exact same position once, and for me, accepting the existence of my alters was very beneficial to all three of us, and we are much closer now and less stressed overall. If John continues to exist, that means Mikoto will have a chance to figure things out and accept John's existence. But if John fades, he may be still caught in that perpetual state of half-existence, with Mikoto being unable to accept him.
So with all these things together; the fact that Mikoto is the one we are judging and I am pretty sure he is the killer, the fact that John may fade if Mikoto is forgiven, and how that isn't a good thing in Mikoto's case, and the fact that - I am pretty damn sure I want to vote Mikoto as Unforgiven. This isn't the be-all, end-all, of course. We don't know if John's prediction is correct about disappearing, we don't know if voting Mikoto Unforgiven will actually have the opposite effect that I hope for and drive him to his breaking point, hell we still don't know who did it. My opinion may change because again, this is just my initial thoughts. I'd love to interact with other systems about this and see their thoughts and opinions. Thank you for reading if you made it this far!!!
Translations, Resources, Etc
Chief's texts, translated by rochisama on wordpress
Interrogation questions, referenced from the MILGRAM Wikia. I'm unsure of the translator, sorry.
A/V of Neoplasm, edited by ac on youtube, featuring translation by onigiriico
kayanomikotoba's Triokoto theory (fun fact, this post is one of the main reasons I got into MILGRAM!)
A quick overview on Japanese divorce law, specifically by the US foreign embassy but it's good enough for my purposes
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shawol-poser · 4 months
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Hi are you taking requests??
If so can i get one with Taemin?
He and the reader used to date, she’s also a singer and recently made a comeback so Tae “accidentally” liked her posts on ig, fan edits of them and rumors emerged about them going back and fans going crazy over them…
Thanks
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The soft glow of his phone illuminated Taemin's face in the dimly lit room as he absentmindedly scrolled through his Instagram feed. It had been a while since he last checked up on old acquaintances, but tonight, curiosity led him to explore what his closest one had been up to.
Your group’s Instagram account had posted individual teaser images for each member. Mood samplers, and hints of your comback’s album concept had been showing up on his feed more frequently which excited him. SM Entertainment was all about not reusing concepts within a group, but seeing one that he’s done fit your image so well surprised him.
He had always looked forward to updates about you on your group’s official account after having unfollowed each other’s personal accounts on the social media platform after your breakup. It was a mutual decision to do so. While the grounds of said breakup were on the pleasant side, you both figured that you would distance yourselves moving forward so as to have the topic of your relationship be of lesser significance.
You’ve heard of interviewers constantly bringing up the previous relationships of other idols that have dated within the industry and have decided to take the proper precautions to prevent it from happening.
You had dated when you were both so new to the world of being a performer. You had both been regular guests on a variety show that was shot over the span of half a year and bonded over your similar experiences of going to school while preparing for your debut and the freedom that you had missed to do things outside of the idol life. You were both such close friends, and Taemin has always been the type to fall for someone fast. It was only natural that you would end up dating.
And maybe that was a mistake. Taemin has already apologized for his behavior in his youth recently, but you had expressed that it was understandable. Being young, not knowing how to manage one’s romantic expectations while managing their partner’s, and constantly being jealous, he apologized for it all. You had also fallen short as your schedules just never seemed to meet anymore, but Taemin really wished it had worked out. Sometimes, he still does and occasionally talks about it to his other members or his manager.
There was truly nothing that either of you could have done for each other while maintaining a steady career, and so you parted ways but remained civil whenever you both had obligations to meet for various events. You stayed out of each other’s inner circle to help with the other’s “cleaner image.” 
And you had intended for it to stay that way, until that singular interaction caused an uproar in both yours and his fandom. 
Because he had liked a post from your group’s account.
Specifically the post that had featured you individually.
You’re not really sure how it happened so quickly, but it did. One liked post birthed many rumors and questions on Taemin’s sudden interest. Many fans weren’t even aware of the past you two had shared. It was only because this event that compilations and pictures of the both of you from your early debut days had been revived and revisited by many. Fans and those that weren’t.
It didn’t help that various fan accounts worked tirelessly to create mesmerizing edits of Taemin and you side by side, stoking the flames of speculation. The digital realm became a canvas for your imagined reunion, and before long, rumors began to circulate about the possibility of the former flames reigniting their romance.
Taemin, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing on social media, continued his routine. His manager hadn’t even informed him about the situation, and it seemed like none of his other members knew about it either until the start of their V Live.
Comments instantly flooded the platform that at first confused them all.
“‘Taemin and  Y/n are so cute,’” Key had read aloud as the comment was in English and immediately made a face at the youngest.
“Yah, Taemin-ah, what did you do this time?” He tried to play it off as a normal situation, fully expecting him to play along like he usually does when they tease Minho, but he saw no recognition in his face.
“Eh?” Taemin looked up at Key and had his normal smile and then looked at the camera with an innocent look on his face.
“They’re asking about Y/n. They’re saying you two are cute,  what did you talk about this time? You fool!” Key shot back with furrowed brows as he explained the question in Korean which only confused the maknae more.
Minho and Onew looked at each other for a moment before attempting to move closer to the screen to try and see what the other comments were saying, making Key and Taemin do the same.
After spotting a quickly passing comment, Minho let out a laugh. “Yah, Taemin-ah! W-What are you doing liking a girl-group’s post by yourself?” Minho laughed out as he smacked Taemin’s arm after reading the explanation from a stray comment.
He knew about him still liking you, but for him to make such a rookie mistake like that was so cute to the idol athlete as he continued to assault the younger one.
Taemin still looked shocked though as he can barely remember committing such an incriminating act. “I didn’t know!”
“How can you say that with such an innocent face when your like is still here?” Key showed your group’s post with just you on it after quickly searching it up. This evidence couldn’t have been doctored either as it was your official post with Taemin’s official personal account under, “liked by.”
“I didn’t know!” He kept laughing despite his shocked face and kept waving his hand as he looked at literally anyone who would meet his eyes in the room. Onew joined Minho as he laughed while Key just sneered and continued to read other comments that had nothing to do with Taemin at all. Those of which were scarce.
Deciding to embrace the situation, Taemin decided to send you a message while they were still live. In a lighthearted tone, he acknowledged the chaos unfolding online and expressed amusement at the fan-created narratives. You had responded similarly and apologized for the unwanted attention which he denied and said that it was fine.
This interaction did nothing to quell the rumors however.
Recognizing the need to address the situation, Taemin’s management team and yours had asked to hold a meeting asking about how the both of you would like to stir the news. They had suggested creating a joint statement clarifying the nature of your current relationship, but the other option seemed to catch both yours and his attention.
“Taemin is releasing a new album soon. Based on the fans’ mostly positive reaction to the rumor, why not just pretend like you’re dating? It will surely push the publicity of blth of your comebacks out there.” 
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kerrikins · 4 months
Text
Hope Springs Eternal
Or: why I still hope for and see potential in PheeJin in Dead Friend Forever.
First of all, let's get the basics out of the way.
Yes, I'm aware that Jin has absolutely made some monumental, killer mistakes. Yes, he has done some really bad things that he shouldn't have done, things that lead to Non getting hurt.
In spite of that, I still think that PheeJin has potential as a relationship within the context of the show, in large part because I don't think that this is a show engaging in black and white tropes. It just depends on which path that the writers intend to go down, but I want to lay out why I, personally, am still hedging my bets.
A lot of it boils down to two points for me. One: Jin is actually seen defending Non over and over again in the past. Two: Phee also hurt Non as well, and a lot of fans overlook this or handwave it.
I know that @raelle-writing has already posted about this, so feel free to go over there and check out some of her posts. But the show has been very careful about laying out the fact that of the friend group, Jin is the one who shows true care and concern for Non. He's the one who says that the group should consider his initial idea, he gets the group to include Non as they go along, he defends him more than once (to his own detriment) when Non isn't even there.
I know that a lot of viewers are frustrated with him, but to me it seems clear in the show that he is the least culpable of the group in terms of the overall scenario (with the exception of the video). I'd even argue (though I'm sure some will be aghast at me saying this) that Jin is ultimately a good kid trying his best, particularly in comparison to the others.
Like, let's run down the group:
Top: He is the reason why Non is in this mess in the first place because he broke the camera. We've seen Tee confide in him multiple times throughout all of this, so he's in deep. He's also the one who helps Tee take Non to his uncle, which means he's directly culpable in Non's disappearance.
Tee - obvious, he's the one who's working with his uncle and got Non involved in the money laundering.
Por - is also responsible for Non being involved in the money laundering due to threatening him. Also stole his script and has been the ringleader of the mental and physical bullying going on.
And Fluke?
Fluke, to me, is actually the character who is everything people accuse Jin of being: the bystander who does nothing and lets it happen. He knows everything! He knows that Top broke the camera. He knows about the video that Jin took. Perhaps if he had been willing to stand by Jin's side, the two of them could have come forward - but he doesn't.
And I want to note something here, because I keep seeing people bang on about it: of all of them, I think Jin is the one who's the least 'guilty' for lying to the police. Why? Because he just saw his friends drug Non, who then disappeared!! It's four against one and we're also dealing with a corrupt police force but people expect Jin - who is a teenager - to go up against all of that? C'mon. And in the hierarchy of the friend group I'd argue that the others would stand a higher chance of being listened to, so yeah - I'm not going to hold Jin to a higher standard.
Now, coming back to Jin: of course him filming the video is indefensible. So what about Phee?
I know that most people regard him as the hero and I want to make it clear that I LOVE Phee. I have Phee defender in my bio on twitter, lol.
But I don't really think that Phee is necessarily supposed to be the knight in shining armour that people think him to be. I ask you: is telling your partner to go off and die 'defensible'?
What about the fact that he reacted to the revelation that Non was being preyed upon by his teacher by calling it cheating and telling Non he hadn't changed, etc?
I want to be clear here: I don't blame EITHER boy for these things. I think that they are understandable if you truly put yourself in their shoes and try to imagine looking at the world through their eyes.
But isn't it interesting how there are some parallels there? Parallels that I actually think a lot of fans ignore or are blind to, mostly because they empathize more with Phee than they do with Jin.
The truth is, however, that Phee behaved horribly to Non as well. I absolutely 100% understand his behaviour, but I also know without a doubt that he hurt Non in the process, broke his heart, and also misinterpreted and shamed Non for what happened to Mr. Keng.
So with that in mind, we're left with the below:
Both Phee and Jin tried and failed to help Non. Both contributed to his spiral. Both of them are visibly broken at the end of episode 8, shattered by their role in what happened to him. Both of them are obviously weighed down by guilt and anger.
And that's where I see the potential. Because sure, it absolutely could be pure stock revenge, that's not surprising for horror. Maybe Phee is the lover riddled by guilt that is out for revenge to make up for his failings.
But what if the show instead decides to explore the fact that if they both feel like they are guilty and culpable in what happened to Non, that could be something that connects them together? Because the possibilities there are so rich, to me. Both of them have been through a hellish, traumatic situation and have seen Non - who they both care about, albeit at different levels - disappear. Both of them feel responsibility and guilt towards it.
So how is this possible?
Two options, in my mind.
Option one is that at some point over the last three years, Phee and Jin connected and Jin confided in him about what happened. I'm hesitant over this one and think it's probably unlikely and would have to go back and rewatch 1-4 again, I think, to see whether or not I think this is possible. I'd love it if this were the case as it gives the background more richness, but unfortunately I feel like with what we've seen in the present, it's not possible, because a lot of Phee's reactions etc seem to indicate that he doesn't know what happened to Non, and if Jin confided in him then he should. However there's a small possibility that his reactions are due to getting confirmation, etc, so there's that to keep in mind.
Option two is that at some point while Phee and Jin are isolated from the others, Jin confesses to Phee.
Side note: I haven't been able to track down where I saw it, again, but I could swear that I saw that Copper said at some point in an interview that Jin filmed the video because he felt like Non was betraying his boyfriend. This caught my eye because I thought oh? Isn't that interesting with the way it ties in with the fact that Phee felt betrayed? But I'd want to validate this again as I'd really like to reread that tweet and now I can't find it, so take that with a giant grain of salt.
At any rate, how will Phee react if Jin confesses everything to him? I mean the situation certainly seems ripe for him to do so at some point. I also see potential here because if this has been going on for three years, then I get the idea that more than anything, Phee just wants to know what happened. There are signs that Phee genuinely cares about Jin - why did he put the blanket on him in episode two, when nobody else was watching and Jin was asleep? Our cold-hearted murderer had a pang about Jin being cold? There was also the conversation that he had with Tan in episode one, that seems to indicate that Phee has confided about wanting to make things with Jin work.
And if he's come to care for Jin then wouldn't Jin opening up to him mean something to him? Especially since at this point Jin has no reason to suspect Phee, so if he confesses then it'll be the truth and from the heart.
So yeah, I still see a ton of potential for these two if they are developed right. Now, will the show go that route? I have no idea. I'm 50/50 on whether we're going to get a rather bog-standard horror ending or something more compelling and nuanced. I know that lots of fans are rooting for the first, and of course sometimes that's the 'fun' of horror, rooting for certain characters to die. Oddly enough, though, I don't get the vibe that this is what this show is about. The characters are too well developed and fleshed out for that in my eyes. I know many might disagree but I don't see the usual hero/villain/victim dichotomy here. Even Non is guilty of lying to Phee and even gaslighting him a little when Phee thought that something was going on with Keng. These are very much 'real people' being depicted on screen and that means that they're fallible. This is fantastic, but it also unfortunately means that I'm going to be a little disappointed if the culmination of all of this is 'yeah Phee was just out for revenge this whole time and is cold enough to fuck his target and try to make him fall in love before killing him/turning him in'.
Oh, one last note - that's another point where I'm struggling with the revenge story arc, because what does that say about Phee's arc as a person? Is that really what people want for him as a person, for him to go from what we see in the flashbacks to brutal enough to do the above? Because that's on Vegas' level and I'm not sure I buy that, for Phee.
So that's where I'm sitting on this whole thing.
Now I want to be clear, here - I'm a horror fan so IF the show decides to go down the standard horror route of 'loved one of victim comes back for revenge' then I'll totally understand it. It's a horror trope for a reason. It's just that after episode 4 we've kind of strayed really far from stock horror and it'll be disappointing to me if we end up going back in that direction.
Time will tell, and in the meantime I'll do my best to hand on for the ride :)
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