#I just was like ''Oh for...REALLY

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

#mental health #mental health support #positivity #if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them! #i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all.. #...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in... #...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air... #...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life... #...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with... #...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it... #...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it #i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive #unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better

[jasminebythebay]

thank you for your help 💎

--

By popular demand, this piece is now available as a print! https://jasminebythebay.etsy.com/listing/1707594190

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sth #ngl i'm not really feeling this piece :( #i had a super grand vision for what this piece would look like but it kinda just ended up meh #rip oh well i guess i'll just do better on the next piece #edit: APPARENTLY I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS IT'S MID??? LMAOOOO

[catsharky]

Presenting: King Sidon, his wife Queen Yona and his boyfriend Link.

Yona is very supportive of everything except Sidon forgetting his ceremony cues.

(I had an atrocious week and TotK has been coming in clutch for keeping me sane.)

#totk spoilers #loz totk #sidlink #link x sidon #totk yona #totk link #totk sidon #tears of the kingdom #I love Yona I adore her design oh my god #If I were to create a Zelda-sona it'd basically just be her with different clothes so I'm contractually obligated to love her #But Nintendo trying to give Sidon a case of the not-gays with her is hilarious #The man greets his fiancée like a coworker and then turns around to explode with adoration over Link in the same breath #This is either a Lavender Marriage or a case of 'every royal Zora finds Link irresistible'. I like both but prefer the former #Like. Yona meets Zelda once things are settled and gets all flustered and tongue tied #and neither Sidon or Link have any idea what's going on because they share 1 braincell #which is used exclusively for fighting really good #sharky art #zelda comic

[egophiliac]

(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just #crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door' #oh twst you always know just how to get me #the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD #SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!! #3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!! #SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH #oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things #also master chef grim! he's so precious! #though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all? #grim canonically flies in the nude i guess #no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE #if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭 #which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna #anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody! #i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years #you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems

[salamispots]

posting a gift wip since I know my siblings aren't on here haha

#rug hooking #wip #purely personals #fabrication #older sis is getting a swan and bb sis is getting an otter #went out today and donated a bunch of yarn at an art supply swap thing #was nice that they had small amounts of yarn/not full skeins that other people donated #because I don't really need a whole ass skein especially if it's solid color #I just want bits and pieces so I can do stuff like the swan background #like this a lot more than latchhook; like latchhook would be pixel art and rug hooking is more like drawing/more freeform #oH it's also nice that all that yarn I prechopped for latchhook I can still use for rug hooking haha #also went to a fabric store and it was crammed full of stuff and the yarn selection was actually really nice #will def go back

[picturemecountingcards]

could only express this in green text format, bear with me

> be me

> in english class

> some guy delivers a meandering nihilistic monologue about how we're all just apes and our only purpose is reproducing, eating, dying and rotting (direct quote) that only vaguely pertains to the question he's being asked

> turn around to look at him

> see his laptop

> it's covered in southpark stickers

#full disclosure i've never watched south park nor do i harbor any ill will towards people who enjoy it #engage in whatever media in whatever way you find fulfilling/just plain fun i'm not your dad #however #this particular situation was really funny #oh that's english as a second language class btw #feel like that adds to it

[ofswordsandpens]

the fact that the biggest smile we've seen on Percy's face so far is when he's petting that little lizard thing is just so

#the kid is pretty miserable the majority of the time so when he smiles it really stands out #watched that scene like oh that's what happiness looks like on him #actually don't quote me on biggest smile I just cannot remember that kid grinning bigger at a different point in time rn #im like 95% sure #pjo #percy jackson #pjo adaptation #mine

[chikorra]

"You're safe now, my darling" The knight rescued her precious princess from the evil Gabriel Agreste

=>>Reference that inspired this piece. :3 =>>Contact me through these socials if you like! <3

#miraculous ladybug #my stuff #sketch #miraculous fanart #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrinette #if I've known this would be blown up I could have added more lines into it but yeah... my bad huhu #adrienette #fairytale au #pencil art #art #oh my god guys this is the fastest note increasing I've ever gotten 😳 #thank you all for the notes I really appreciate it 🥺😭✨😢 #oh dear I just woke up and almost fainted seeing the note numbers lol #dang should have taken a little bit more time to polish it a little but still HUWWWAHH THANK YOU ALL #OH MY GOD FANDOM FIGURES LIKED THIS TOO!!??? MY HONOR AAAJAKQKQNDBDJD #btw I've always wanted to treat my future partner like this because “Love the right person and you will become their princess”

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[aunmenosheteroenespanol]

2.12 Chimney Begins - 2.09 Hen Begins - 2.16 Bobby Begins Again - 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered

Tommy's family arc

#911 #911edit #911 abc #911 show #911 spoilers #911 season 7 #tommy kinard #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #kinley #bucktommy #kinkley #tevan #pick a ship name you guys and thanks for picking tevan the most correct name #anyway analysis time! #looking back with Modern Knowledge tm about why tommy acts the way he does in the past... babygirl you were so closeted I'm so proud #babygirl was back there getting into narnia #he was so resistant to letting go of the pseudo-family he'd found at the 118 in chimney begins #even tho it was a good old boys club that he knew he really didn't fit into he was making himself fit because at least it was something #but then he let chimney in and then hen came around and he saw a very queer person being openly queer and not giving a fuck what they think #and I think his behavior in that episode was trying to support hen as much as he could without outing himself #because like. how do you give up years of relative safety with people who do care about you they just won't like you anymore if you're *you #then he meets buck in s7 which is like 10-20 years later timeline is fake and he's like oh. this is what unconditional family is #and he's like oh. maybe I can come back. maybe I can be part of this again somehow. maybe we've both grown enough #or at the very least he'll be close to something he never believed would really happen for him #rant over tevan my beloved tim minear pillow cold both sides god bless #my edits

[nerdpoe]

Jason agrees to go through the legal hassle of being declared alive again. Mostly so he can go to college like how he wanted.

He would have done it under a fake ID, but he kinda wanted the success of having a Masters in English attached to the name he grew up with.

It's going pretty great, actually! He's making friends, gets to punch random paparazzi's in the face, and learning has always been fun for him.

But one of his college friends, Danny Fenton, is...weirdly obsessed with Wayne Manor?

Jason gets it, he does, the Manor is huge and of course the guy would want to see it as often as he could.

Then he starts to realize that Danny is strangely attentive to Bruce.

Like, actually flirting with Bruce.

Oh no his college friend, who is his age, is flirting with Bruce so hard it's making Bruce blush.

OR; Danny thinks Bruce is hot, and that the outraged faces of the man's children as Danny flirts with him are hilarious. Also Jason started it by trying to flirt with Danny's mom when he met Danny.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #danny started flirting with bruce out of spite #because he wanted to show jason how uncomfortable it was #but it's turned into actual flirting #bruce is actively flustered this young man is only 20 #the best part for danny #worst part for everyone else #is when jason tells him that bruce isn't a good idea for reasons he can't say #and danny just #“oh the dressing up like a bat thing? i've seen weirder” #tertiary good thing from this though #is how ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED VLAD IS #“daniel i know your life is your own but BRUCE WAYNE? REALLY? YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER DANIEL-”

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[criticalsyourroles]

now i've watched a fair amount of d&d i've started to pick up on the differences between dm style i think

like brennan IS all the bad guys. every game he dms is brennan vs the players. he makes npcs and battles that make his friends throw things at him and he smirks the whole time. he makes them tell him their worst fears and then he makes them do it. and it's awful and amazing and really funny

matt IS exandria. his characters and battles never feel written or constructed, they just feel like things that already existed in the world. it's all about verisimilitude with him, and he's amazing at it. he tends to fade into the background and let the players react to the story and it makes everything he does incredibly cinematic

aabria dms like she's just another player at the table reacting to the story, right up until someone gets lulled into a false sense of security and tries to fool around and THEN she throws a curveball by making them deal with the consequences of their choices. she's like oh you think that's funny?? then i'm about to be hilarious, bitch. and she keeps getting away with it bc she's just that good!

basically, brennan's an evil bastard, matt's the world, and aabria's the queen of consequences

or:

brennan - fuck

matt - around

aabria - find out

#brennan lee mulligan #matt mercer #aabria iyengar #sorry but this made me laugh agdjgsjsgs #petition for a d20 series dmed by brennan w aabria as a pc where a couple eps in her pc kills brennan's bbeg and they swap seats #revealing she was the dm all along #i also really want a round robin series. all dms at the table and they take turns controlling the narrative #whether it's in order or just like. every time one of them kills the dm's npc they become the dm or smth #it'd be really fun i'd love to see what kind of mangled mess of a story we'd get #i haven't listened to that much taz but griffin seems to be a mix of brennan and aabria where he does things for the bit #and then eventually he's like oh btw the bit is immense emotional trauma. whoops!

[crunchchute]

My Sam & Max cosplay I debuted at a local con during the weekend!

#wasnt wearing leg padding in these so sorry sams a bit skinny #sam and max #cosplay #crunchchute art #my art #i could remake the pants and jacket entirely but that would be quite hard actually. i suck at making jackets especially #so those are just thrifted and edited #lots of color differences that bug me but. oh well #pants and jacket arent that different but its noticeable in these pics #as well as maxs hands and feet. theyre slightly lighter as the fabric i used is better quality #but i ran out of the stuff i used on his body etc and i couldnt buy more from that store as they took their sweet time shipping the stuff #oh well. didnt make them for a competition so its okay #im my own biggest hater and my own biggest critic #at the end of the day i made a handful of people really happy and thats all that matters to me #gotta share them every chance i get as i usually just make a cos #wear it to the con and then put it on the shelf #but im too happy with these to just hide them away after #they need a good scrub and after that id like to bring them to another con. next main goal is viecc but thats just a maybe right now

[egophiliac]

innocently logging in to look at the Twst schedule for May like

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers #tsumsted wonderland #i-is that enough spoiler tags #anyway twst just absolutely obliterating me with the schedule again #i saw the story completion campaign ended in june and was like 'oh okay that'll be when we get the next part' NOPE HA HA #oh my god rook. oh my god savana rook is real. #w...why is this a story card. hey twst wHY IS THIS A STORY CARD -- #is rook dreaming of still being a rowdy boy or #and why is he...(squints) why is he in a pomefiore bedroom #never mind i'm actually terrified of this card now #god. the STETSON. i'm crying. #he really is just applejack huh #also vil i don't know what your problem was this man's mane is LUSCIOUS #and what's this? it's twst following up that first punch with the right hook of EVEN MORE of the best and silliest event #malleus is going to be in the middle of an angsty flashback while dangling us over a pit of spikes or something #and then we're going to cut directly to him having a charming little tea party with a small plush version of himself #oh twst your sense of pacing remains exquisitely incomprehensible #(no i love this though)

[lesbianshadowheart]

dont get me wrong cuz I DO appreciate Larian continuing to work on the game and trying to fix issues etc but like. mr Larian PLEASE stop responding to fan feedback. Theres like 2 million people playing this game ofc some of them will say character x should be nicer or cuter or do a little dance but that doesnt mean u gotta do it. you dont gotta call neil newbon or whoever up like come to the studio we need to rerecord everything bc a person on reddit said theyd like it better. You’ve worked on these characters for over 4 years and you are allowed to stand by your creation. None of what I said applies to Wyll’s underdevelopment btw but you all know that

#that post abt halsins #traumatic experience really portrayed this well for me #i wanted to say its fine to add things just dont replace them but #if im being honest even the epilogue felt too fanservicey for me #oh they all had a good ending and lived happily ever after #and had babies w each other and named them gortash cazador potter or whatever #like leave ittt just leaveee ittttt #bg3

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school