#I just don't open tumblr that often

[a-bit-of-cest]

Can have draw luffy mpreg Poly and birth please a like your art

Unfortunately I can't post birth on tumblr without getting my customization settings taken away but you can find that and more explicit art over on my twitter

actually now that I think about I haven't drawn anyone crowning in a while, I'll get around to it~

#asks #i'm too attached to the laios panel in my header to risk posting skin #there's also some art that's tame enough to repost here that I forgot about #i'll start uploading those and some of my threads here more #I just don't open tumblr that often

[chiropteracupola]

what if they were an ultimate frisbee team

#em draws stuff #em is posting about sharpe #sharpe #rifleman harris #daniel hagman #richard sharpe #patrick harper #francis cooper #ben perkins #south essex quirky #<- organizational tag for frisbee au things #see it is Funny because jason salkey was an ultimate frisbee player before he was an actor. also I just think the men should frisb. #<- not a real verb #'look if the terror fandom has terrebus fc then we can have this' says local man who knows very little at all about ultimate frisbee #but also I have noticed that Multiple acquaintances have acquired concussions playing this sport In The Last Week Alone #and thus I deem it Sharpe-Appropriate in its capacity for Causing Grievous Harm and Encouraging the Wearing of Cool Shades In October #so you see. this took me TEN DAYS and ouch ouch ow this is why I don't do group portraits that often #the height differences are Wrong here I am pretty sure but I have almost no conception of how tall any of them are. and I'm tired. #also the designing of their silly little outfits y'know #I do recommend opening up this image Large because tumblr crunches all my little details something awful #sailorpants saw this while I was still drawing it and said they looked like an 'assorted pack of lesbians' and really they're not wrong #other things to note about this au that we've decided: cooper still does crimes and harris has a podcast #stay tuned whilst I figure out how to make custom frisbees so that I can a) design them a cooler one and b) make them into real items #manufacturers I have looked at thus far have either been Suspicious or have required Large minimum orders #but hey if there are 47 people out there wanting a strange frisbee...

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur #look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly #because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..' #anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to #ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts #anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately #a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle #lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix #fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll. #and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material #mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent #a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...) #i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort #and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one #here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try #like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!! #the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still #they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1 #of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but #thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where #you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the #competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even #even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!! #the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's #'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h #her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll #eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do' #they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's #it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe #adamandi

[thedreadvampy]

wish it was possible to Not Have Watched Something Yet on this website without getting the entire thing shown to you in GIFs before you even know it exists long enough to filter for it 💀

#red said #look man i know this is the Posting Entire Movies As Gifs website #but like. I'm on here to talk about media criticism and vent my feelings #not to have literally every plot point of a show i like but am not enthusiastic enough about to watch the moment it comes out spoiled #I'm not deeply spoiler sensitive but sometimes I'm a bit like. jesus imagine if i could find out major twists in a show by WATCHING THE SHOW #instead of Accidentally Opening Tumblr For 0.5 Seconds To Be Met By Someone Reblogging 20 Consecutive Gifsets Of The Twist #it's not like. something people are Doing Wrong. but it is annoying. #it was the same with everything everywhere all at once i almost didn't watch it bc i had seen like Every Scene on here #and that would have been a shame bc it is my very favourite film #but also i often end up watching stuff GRUMPILY SOON bc i an like 'gotta watch this before there's no new info in the show' #and i don't LIKE that actually! i want to watch things on my own terms not in a race with Tumblr gifs! #like these aren't even things I'm deeply passionate about bc those i think to avoid. just like. #sometimes there's stuff i LIKE but plan to GET AROUND TO

[godlikecunning]

ever seen a take on ancient texts so rancid it makes you want to gouge out your eyes

#“i hate roman takes on greek texts because it makes the trojans heroic” #“and the trojans were so keen on paris kidnapping helen” #“ugh the misogyny” #babe the text opens with achilles and agamemnon arguing about captive women #who were war slaves #and often brutalized #like yes there's so much to be discussed about the misogyny in the homeric texts #but if you apply tumblr lenses of analysis you're just stupid #and i don't make the rules #greek mythology #greek myth #roman mythology #roman myth #mythology #homer #the iliad #the odyssey #the aeneid

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Alright tumblr it's been real but I gotta take a break for my own sake, which knowing me could mean for 2 days or 2 months. In any case I'll still be checking tumblr just hopefully a lot less- as per usual don't be shy to @ me if you wanna make sure I see something, and my ask box is always open! And do take care all of you 💜

#idk why I always feel the need to notify people when I'm gonna be away lol I guess I don't want anyone to think I'm ignoring them #but anyways yeah no way I'll be able to keep myself away from tumblr completely but I've been overwhelming myself a lot #once again at a point where fandom is sort of getting in the way of me actually being able to enjoy the podcast too #which isn't anybody's fault just y'know how it is. #which is also why I probably won't be in certain discord servers very much either at least for a bit #this and well socially I often find myself a bit overextended and that can be overwhelming at times #but friendos don't be shy about DMs! #Oh! Clip requests still open btw. Nobody's sent any in haha but for the record they're still open. #ok ok that's it that's it lol seriously though take care folks <3

[icewindandboringhorror]

my personal Media Genres tier ranking and also Neopets Species tiers. put together in the same post just due to being adjacently related because they're on the same website lol

links to the specific tier makers: Media Genres --- Neopets

#(might have to right click open image in new tab to zoom and see some of them. tumblr always makes screenshots tiny) #Also I think this is why I have trouble finding things to watch/just don't watch media very often since I'm so so so hyper specific and #particular that I just end up disliking or neutrally not caring about like.. SO MANY things ghfg #Even being aware of my particular-ness I was still surprised to see how many were in the 'dislike' and 'not care' categories lol #Also it is so so so hard being an Action and Romance genre hater YET being a Fantasy and Historical genre lover ghhjb #EVERY fantasy story is also an action romance.. every historical story is a romance.. ouch oof taking psychic damage always #KIND of like how I LOOOOVE point and click mystery puzzle games but I also generally dislike the horror genre #but many point and click puzzle games I used to see would have horror elements or be 'scary' in some way #and it's like HHRgghh.. I just want to navigate a creepy old dilapidated mansion collecting secret codes from books but NOT in a scary way! #just like I want fantasy & historical content but NOT in an action romance way!! #Also.. NEOPETS.. I think my two favorites are both one of the most common choices and also one of the least lol #like EVERYONE loves aishas pretty much. I think they even won a favorite neopets poll on tumblr. But then nobody talks about vandagyres #or even cares about them (seemingly) and they have like so few clothes or good options because they're just irrelevant apparently #also I know it seems very uncharacteristic for the neopet that's basically A Cat to not be in my favorites but I just gjhjhbj #the eyebrows of the wocky bother me. it doesn't match everything else. Even in different paintrbsuh colors it will be #nice and cohesive and pastel or something and then two big dark lines. I aesthetically love thick dark eyebrows on people it just looks wei #rd on a cartoon cat. ANYWAY.. fun to think about #I love ranking things always #also curious to know if anyone has similar opinions... my fellow vandagyre lovers.. and action movie haters.. cutthroat kitchen fans.. :0c #AND as someone tired of romance in general & ESPECIALLY cardboard cutout cishet romances. yes I would of course like to see more lgbtq+ #stories in media etc. The genre is just not placed higher because so much seems to be Modern Young Adult Romance which of course I hate #those themes lol.. We need some drama comedies with a cast of gay 300yr old elves in victorian costume. please.. ghjgj.. (and like ACTUAL #300 yr olds. NOT 'is immortal bt still acts like an irrational 15yr old bc plot'. what abt jaded eccentric elder romance? hmM? lol) ANYWAY #always manifesting a 'high fantasy historical mystery comedy drama satire psychological character study (with vampires)' into existence lol #if I could make a tv show set in my world... the sheer power I would have.. and nobody would watch it because it would have NO action or #romance (at least none that was serious/was not framed as lame/goofy/comedic) & would have intricate complicated worldbuilding and be very #VERY broadly unmarketable.. but I would finally have a show that meets my tastes lol

[ask-azurearts]

Commission work for @dragonnest-art comic Skies Under Avalon which you can read here! I'm eternally grateful for being commissioned to create a piece for their comic and am so glad they like it. Thank you again for the commission!

#digital art #digital painting #commission work #Skies Under Avalon #artists on tumblr #I don't paint scenes that often so this was a fun challenge #learned a lot too #swear eventually I'll open up commissions properly just for now in a bit of an odd spot #desert #thanku again!!

[orangerosebush]

Yeah we need a 24 hour embargo on succession posters methinks.

#why would you make this post LMAO? #nicotine addictions have been running a train on the paternal side of my family for um a long time so actually there are some things harder #than wanting nicotine addiction clout is what I think you'll find my beloved #I think many interesting tumblr users -- I won't profess to be interesting but I will claim the identity of being a tumblr user -- are open #about their substance abuse problems and history in an often humorous way #which then leads some users to see those accounts and treat those experiences like one would treat a fictional subject #& I will see some go as far to treat these users who talk abt their struggles like theyre tv show characters in a similarly parasocial way #I don't want to be overly precious about jokes -- and of course although the op states that they do not struggle with nicotine addiction #that does not mean that they've never struggled with substance abuse or had people in their life who have struggle with substance abuse -- #but this just. left such a bad taste in my mouth

[creatediana]

“November’s Greetings” - a poem written 11/23/2022

#this hasn't been the best month of my life #2022 #college years #poetry #poem #iambic tetrameter #but that's just the opening line of each stanza #speaking of which #cinquains #i feel like i don't often write in those. or maybe i do. i like them. #trochaic meter #catalectic trochaic tetrameter #trochees #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #seasonal depression

[noxtivagus]

i remember again n feel better hehe 🥹🤍

#🌙.rambles #thought i'd just ramble abt this to my notes but maybe a fellow wanderer wld come across this #i mean. aside from a few irls that could very much stumble across this.. i get shy n embarrassed at the though of it but OH WELL HDKGJSKDS #majority here r basically friends acquaintances n strangers that essentially don't know. like my real name or address or wtvr. #basically we don't know each other irl directly so it's somehow for some reason much easier for me to be open about how i feel in tumblr ta #s bcs 1) i write VERY long. very unlikely that someone wld read it unless they seeked it out for some reason that only they'd know #my brain's empty rn it's a bit of a mess but i feel better than just pure emptiness bcs i remember how #genuinely when it comes to other ppl.. despite how they may feel about their own selves. disappointed hatred wtvr #that. regardless of that i know that my own truth for them would be that i'll love them the same #let's say if i don't reach a certain standard for my own grades. say i usually get grades that r 90-100 often around the higher end too #but for one course i get vey slightly below the 90 mark. i'd feel like such a failure i'd feel like such a disappointment #so much so that i genuinely can't accept how others aren't disappointment in me despite how much of a failure i feel i am #turn the tables however; how do i react for others? even if. theoretically let's say they outright fail #i wouldn't think of them as anything less. it doesn't change anything bcs i genuinely love and care for the other wholly from the heart #they're my equal. they're my friend. yeah.. i rmb times in the past where i wld nearly break down from being around the passing score for #only 1 exam. i'd have friends that failed though. & i also forgot of how for other exams i basically got perfect or wtvr #it's so easy to just blind ourselves n focus on failure n forget. things that r most important #i deal with failure.. very badly honestly bcs i achieved very well as a kid. aside from stuff in filipino which uh. yeah trauma but um #maths n sciences n english or wtvr n nearly everything else i'd get easy perfects but i'd forget them over one disappointment #i struggled w that lately w my released grades n it still hurts the regret really hurts so much n i hate myself so much for it but #i'm.. trying to be kind n i've managed to feel like myself for a while today. progress. thats enough to be proud of #bcs yk knowing how others feel of their own selves n the way i treat them despite it. i cld at least try again to do the same for myself #say 10 years from now i'd be more thankful n happy if i forgave myself for it than destroyed myself in pursuit of doing better #more than. success in terms of grades i'd much rather grow n develop as a person #that said recently i've had so much anxiety w reaching out to ppl n i reply slowly but i'm trying to do better #bcs yesterday i rmb feeling so low that i really wanted to reach out to someone.. that's a whole nother lvl of pain for me bcs that means #my hopelessness reached a level enough that i knew i really needed comfort n support or i'll break #indirectly. helping you made me realize n remember myself. n i felt well enough to reach out once more.. i'm too shy to say directly but #thank you very much for that. it means more to me than you'll ever know

[xcziel]

@tumblr ... @wip ? @support ? i guess? idk if you guys have one particular person or team looking at just the mobile platform but

i am asking you to please reconsider the placement of a follow button on. Every. Single. Comment. in a reblog chain.

i mean this shit

(i realize it is not a button but idk what else to call it - clicky text? taptext? idc! i just don't want to accidently follow people and then end up going ":O wat is this random post doing on my dash?" you know?)

i am an app user, i'm on my phone. i use my thumb to scroll. the chances of randomly hitting a follow button i DID NOT mean to hit have now sky-rocketed

please consider that while the option may work great on desktop, the app does not have enough screen real estate to support this conveniently

ESPECIALLY since you have the button on the right side of the screen where it is usually safe to rest your scrolling digit - if you insist on keeping the follow text there could you at least please move it next to the username like in the reblog line?

#it is not *bad* it is just inconvenient #bc i hate seeing a post and going wtf is THIS? #and then looking at who posted it and going all gandalf i have no recollection of this url #when did i follow this person? did tumblr just follow them for me - as has happened before? #or did i click something accidently while shuffling my phone around with tumblr open which happens WAY TOO OFTEN #it's a phone dudes - a lot of times i'm carrying it and some other stuff and only using one hand #and the screen is on and i have to grip or stack the phone to keep from dropping stuff or it sliding off #and then when i pick it up again there's a damn pop-up message that says 'thanks we'll take a look at it!' #and i'm like why is there no back button i have no idea what you think i did i literally knocked the phone off the counter #and grabbed it what do you think i was doing tumblr? #... anyway i foresee a lot of that kind of thing happening with this update option #it's just too easy to unintentionally hit that text - and like it's one extra click to follow someone i don't think it's too hard #you want to follow them bc they said something cool you click the url go to their ... i guess it's a landing page now huh? #since it doesn't take you to a real actual blog? but the follow option is right there at the top of the screen #also you can see if they are a real person or like have a big dni list or something so it's MORE useful that way #idk about most users but i like to look at a few posts scroll their blog a little before i follow somebody ok?

[sschmendrick]

Side effect of reading fanfiction with ships is it gets me thinking about relationships and never having been in one.

Side effect of reading fanfiction about queerplatonic relationships is it gets me thinking about that's not a term I've ever seen outside of english and I'm not sure it's something that exists in french and that's what I would like for myself but I can't express it and unless I spend my whole life in a long distance relationship or people are ready to move to france, I'm staying single all my life alright (it's a job thing because my sector sucks everywhere but it sucks a little less in France so leaving my country would actually be a big decision)

#it is almost 1AM so I'm not surprised the sadness is back #but reading fanfics about aspec characters and how softly and nicely it was treated and how accepting and open it was treated #makes me wish I could have that in my life though I know it's never happening #the puzzle of labels makes it hard to navigate I try not to think about it too much cause it gets pointless the more you do #but I know what I don't want for starters BUT having never been in a relationship how can I really know ? Like sometimes I wonder if I'm ar #or if it's just that I've never been in a relationship #Ok so guess tonight's tumblr post is my little mental confessional #also being ace and trans and bi makes it pretty hard to talk about that kind of stuff with anyone really #even though my friends talk about girls super often #and the only one who knows about some of these labels that make everything hard to deal with well...I don't feel like talking about that to #him alone cause I hate talking about myself to someone for too long cause I feel super self centered and it makes me panic #Cause family used to tell me to stop talking about stuff I liked or me cause it made me sound like I thought I was the center of everything

[getvalentined]

An open letter to @staff

I already submitted this to Support under "Feedback," but I'm sharing it here too as I don't expect it to get a response, and I feel like putting in out in public may be more effective than sending it off into the void.

The recent post on the Staff blog about changing tumblr to an algorithmic feed features a large amount of misinformation that I feel staff needs to address, openly and honestly, with information on where this data was sourced at the very least.

Claim 1: Algorithms help small creators.

This is false, as algorithms are designed to push content that gets engagement in order to get it more engagement, thereby assuring that the popular remain popular and the small remain small except in instances of extreme luck.

This can already be seen on the tumblr radar, which is a combination of staff picks (usually the same half-dozen fandoms or niche special interests like Lego photography) which already have a ton of engagement, or posts that are getting enough engagement to hit the radar organically. Tumblr has an algorithm that runs like every other socmed algorithm on the planet, and it will decimate the reach of small creators just like every other platform before it.

Claim 2: Only a small portion of users utilize the chronological feed.

You can find a poll by user @darkwood-sleddog here that at the time of writing this, sits at over 40 THOUSAND responses showing that over 96 percent of them use the chronological feed*. Claiming otherwise isn't just a misstatement, it's a lie. You are lying to your core userbase and expecting them to accept it as fact. It's not just unethical, it's insulting to people who have been supporting your platform for over a decade.

Claim 3: Tumblr is not easy to use.

This is also 100% false and you ABSOLUTELY know it. Tumblr is EXTREMELY easy to use, the issue is that the documentation, the explanations of features, and often even the stability of the service is subpar. All of this would be very easy for staff to fix, if they would invest in the creation of walkthroughs and clear explanations of how various site features work, as well as finally fixing the search function. Your inability to explain how your service works should not result in completely ignoring the needs and wants of your core long-term userbase. The fact that you're more willing to invest in the very systems that have made every other form of social media so horrifically toxic than in trying to make it easier for people to use the service AS IT WORKS NOW and fixing the parts that don't work as well speaks volumes toward what tumblr staff actually cares about.

You will not get a paycheck if your platform becomes defunct, and the thing that makes it special right now is that it is the ONLY large-scale socmed platform on THE ENTIRE INTERNET with a true chronological feed and no aggressive algorithmic content serving. The recent post from staff indicates that you are going to kill that, and are insisting that it's what we want. It is not. I'd hazard to guess that most of the dev team knows it isn't what we want, but I assume the money people don't care. The user base isn't relevant, just how much money they can bring in.

The CEO stated he wanted this to remain as sort of the last bastion of the Old Internet, and yet here we are, watching you declare you intend to burn it to the ground.

You can do so much better than this.

Response to the Update

Under the cut for readability, because everything said above still applies.

I already said this in a reblog on the post itself, but I'm adding it to this one for easy access: people read it that way because that's what you said.

Staff considers the main feed as it exists to be "outdated," to the point that you literally used that word to describe it, and the main goals expressed in this announcement is to figure out what makes "high-quality content" and serve that to users moving forward.

People read it that way because that is what you said.

*The final results of the poll, after 24 hours:

136,635 votes breaks down thusly:

An algorithm based feed where I get "the best of tumblr." @ 1.3% (roughly 1,776 votes)

Chronological feed that only features blogs I follow. @ 95.2% (roughly 130,077 votes)

This doesn't affect me personally. @ 3.5% (roughly 4,782 votes)

#tumblr dot com #tumblr staff

[idkimnotreal]

i need to speak english in real life...

i'm brazilian, english has been part of my daily life since i was 14 (before that in school, but out of school only since i was about 14), i consider myself an advanced to fluent speaker (short vocabulary, i don't really know or forget mundane or daily things in english, my vocabulary is mostly related to book english), but i've never once spoken english with anyone in real life or even on a call. i was always afraid i'd blank out. it's a deep rooted thing for me.

so i recently moved and as it happens my neighbor one floor down whose apartment includes an outdoors patio that i can see from my kitchen window (to an inner open space in the middle of the building, i'd only need one word for this in portuguese but i have no idea how to say "light pit" in english*) has an american dad and they speak really loud (i know it's an american thing) and i felt... this sense of joy from hearing them talk english. hearing spoken english for the first time in my life that was not coming from tv speakers or headphones, but actually from real human voices near me (i was a kid at the time of the world cup so i don't really recall people speaking english, i have a vague memory of it, but not vividly). there was a child too, her half sibling, and i don't know, the whole bonding experience they were having using the english language made me happy to experience it.

i guess i need international friends that i can really talk to (not just text). not brazilian friends to talk english to, that's just boring, like i actually want people from different cultures that i can use english as a bridge to connect our life experiences. it's about that. it's what i figure is so exciting about english. it's... the world. english is everything. when i heard english, i heard everyone. for the first time in my life, near me, physically. it means i'm not necessarily tied to brazil. it reminded me of that, maybe. which is why i'm sad now that they're apparently gone. i keep expecting to hear their voices again, speaking english, and whenever i hear neighbors talking loudly in the halls i get hyped. but i think they're gone, back to the states. to the center of the world. and i'm here. too dysfunctional to leave this place.

(i'm not actually looking for language buddies on tumblr, there's a reason why i've never spoken english in real life which is like i mean uhh social anxiety/trauma)

*that's atrium thanks chatgpt

#catharsis #vent #venting #it's the fact that i understand that (spoken english) #i know my pronunciation is fine #i often repeat things that i write in english like it's an echolalia thing #and i know i can pronounce them #i text a lot in english and i have this tumblr #i know i can speak it #knowing i can hear it too now #in real life #it opened my eyes #i can stay in brazil if i get reasonably rich #but otherwise i don't think i want to stay #i think i'd gotten lost #(changing topic) i just wanted to go and say hi #i don't think they expect anyone to understand them in this building #and they'd probably appreciate that #americans especially. brazilians are seen as open to strangers but we're very superstitious as a culture #and wary of strangers because of envy stuff #white americans don't have that #so maybe a different me would've had the courage to do that #if it was the right thing to do #i have no idea like i'm autistic #but like make up an excuse or whatever like umm i just wanted to borrow some sugar is that your dad it's so cool that he's american i love #american culture #like that #like in english #off the bat #okay maybe just say the last part to him in english if i saw him and see if anything comes from that i'm digressing it's the wine

[sarahreesbrennan]

Are all the themes in “in other lands” supposed to be a commentary on something? Or do you just like writing sex scenes between minors, age gaps, and reverse misogyny?

Genuine question.

Ohhh, my dear anon, I don't believe this is a genuine question.

But it does bring up something I've been meaning to talk about. So I'll take the bait.

Firstly. Yes, my work contains a commentary on the world around us. I wonder what I could be doing with the child soldiers being sexually active in their teens (people hook up right after battles), and the age gap relationship ending in the younger one being too mature for the elder. What could I possibly have been attempting when I said 'how absurd gender roles are, when projected onto people we haven't been accustomed by our own society to see that way'? I wasn't being subtle, that's for sure.

Secondly. Yes I do enjoy writing! I think I should, it's my life's work. Am I titillated by my own writing, no - though I think it's fine to be. The sex scenes of In Other Lands aren't especially titillating, to be honest. It is interesting to me how often people sneer at women for writing romance and sex scenes, having 'book boyfriends,' insinuating women writers fancy their own characters. Women having too much immoral fun! Whereas men clearly write about sex for high literary purposes.

… I have to say from my experience of women and men's writing, I haven't found that to be true.

I’m not in this to have an internet argument. I prefer to leave my anons open since not everyone has a tumblr, as @neil-gaiman says it’s an internet backwater, but a lovely one for those like myself who enjoy an essay about fictional characters! Still I will close my inbox to anons if I must. Mostly people use bad faith takes to poke at others from the other side of a screen for kicks. But I do know some truly internalise the attitude that writing certain things is wrong, that anyone who makes mistakes must be shunned as impure, and that is a deeply Victorian and restrictive attitude that guarantees unhappiness.

I've become increasingly troubled by the very binary and extreme ways of thinking I see arising on the internet. They come naturally from people being in echo chambers, becoming hostile to differing opinions, and the age-old conundrum of wanting to be good, fearing you aren't, and making the futile effort to be free of sin. It makes me think of Tennyson, who when travelling through Ireland at the time of the Great Famine, said nobody should talk about the 'Irish distress' to him and insisted the window shades of his carriage be shut as he went from castle to castle. So he wouldn't see the bodies. But that didn't make the bodies cease to be.

In Les Mis, Victor Hugo explores why someone might steal, what that means about them and their circumstances, and who they might be - and explores why someone else is made terribly unhappy, and endangers others, through their own too rigid adherence to judgement and condemnation without pity. The story understands both Jean Valjean the thief and Javert the policeman. Javert’s way of thinking is the one that inevitably leads to tragedy.

Depiction isn't endorsement. Depiction is discussion.

Many of my loved ones have had widely varying relationships to and experience of sex (including 'none'). They've felt all different types of ways about it. If writing about them is not permissible, I close them out. I'd much rather a dialogue be open than closed.

I do understand the urge to write what seems right to others. I've been brain-poisoned that way myself. I used to worry so much about my female characters doing the wrong things, because then they'd be justly hated! Then I noted which of my writer friends had people love their female characters the most - and it was the one who wrote their female characters as screwing up massively, making rash and sometimes wrong decisions. Who wrote them as people. Because that's what people do. That's what feels true to readers.

I want my characters to feel true to readers. I want my characters to react in messy ways to imperfect situations. I love fantasy, I love wild action and I love deep thought, and I want to engage. That's what In Other Lands is about. That's even more what Long Live Evil is about. That sexy lady who sashays in to have sexy sex with the hero - what is her deal? Someone who tricks and lies to others - why are they doing that, how did they get so skilled at it? What makes one person cruelly judgemental, and another ignore all boundaries? What makes Carmen Maria Machado describe ‘fictional queer villains’ as ‘by far the most interesting characters’? What irritates people about women having a great time? What attracts us to power, to fiction, and to transgression?

I don’t know the answers to all those questions, but I know I want to explore them. And I know one more thing.

If the moral thing to do is shut people out and shut people up? Count me among the villains.

#bookblr #discourse #in other lands #long live evil #les mis #carmen maria machado #writing