#I haven’t talked to anyone from hs in 2 years

[sproldenlover]

SOMEONE FRO.M MY HIGHSCHOOL FOUND MY TT THIS IS THE END OF ME

#i blocked them #I haven’t talked to anyone from hs in 2 years #cuz I didn’t go back in year 10

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [5].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. swearing, someone cries again, mentions of bullying, mentions of sex. WORD COUNT. 3.9k

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi

NOTE. this is the soobin chapter. before anyone says anything, i also used to be a loser in high school so i am very qualified to write about this. anyway, please let me kmow what you think so far! ty for reading!

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 5 — staring contest of death.

SOOBIN HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM. It’s quite a big problem— one that completely ruined his summer morning routine that usually starts at one in the afternoon. But it’s already 2 p.m. right now and he’s still laying on his bed, half of his head peeking out of the blanket as his eyes run over the text he received this morning over and over again from a group chat that’s been dead for a good three years. 

[Shin Jaeyul: hey class of 20XX! met up with jindo and the rest the other day and we thought it would be great if we can all get together again! hope you’ll all be available for the reunion. i’ll send the details after this message but it’s gonna be held at seonghee’s family’s hotel so feel free to bring a plus one lol.]

[Shin Jaeyul: What? ANSAN HS BATCH 20XX REUNION. When? This Saturday, 6:00pm. Where? Chatoyer Hotel, Sapphire Ballroom Function Hall

“Just don’t go, man. It’s not like your attendance is graded.”

When Soobin finally gets the energy to come downstairs to eat, he shows the text to Beomgyu for a second opinion. They’re eating yesterday’s leftovers on the patio outside the dining room. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the boys to congregate on the lounge chairs.

“But a reunion sounds fun!” Jake throws in his opinion. “I met up with my high school buddies at Crown Towers when I went to Melbourne the other day.”

“They weren’t your buddies. They invited you so you can pay for all their drinks and ditch you,” Heeseung tells him.

“Hey, Matthew was there and he was glad to see me.”

“Matthew borrowed eight hundred dollars from you last month and never paid back.”

Jake simply shrugs and snatches a cold slice of pizza from the table. Soobin gives him a look of remorse. “Anyway,” Jay jumps in. “Hyung, you should go if you want to and don’t go if you don’t want to. What do you want to do?”

Honestly, if Soobin can help it, he’d never want to see anyone from his old school ever again. And he’d rather stay at home and watch the latest episode of JJK on Saturday night (and every other night, for that matter). “But...it’s kinda rude if I don’t reply, right?” is what’s holding him back. The group chat has been buzzing every minute, messages of ‘see you there’s’ and ‘I’m so excited’s’ popping up one after the other. Only a few others including him haven’t replied yet. “What excuse should I make?”

“Tell them you have a family reunion to attend,” Sunghoon suggests.

“That’s lame. They’re gonna make fun of him,” Beomgyu scrunches his nose. Sunghoon defends with “what’s so wrong with a family reunion?!” but Soobin is inclined to believe that Beomgyu would be right. He didn’t exactly have a pleasant high school experience.

It’s not that he was actively bullied, or anything. He just didn’t have a lot of friends. And not a lot wanted to be his friend save for the members of the manga club he was in— but that didn’t really contribute to his position in the adolescent food chain. It’s not like he was sociable, either. He still isn’t. He was just lucky enough to get adopted by Beomgyu and managed to get along with the rest of the guys after a good two years of living here.

“Oh, then dude, you have to go!” Beomgyu exclaims. “If you don’t go they’re just gonna talk shit about you still being a loser.”

“I am a loser, though?” he says. 

“Yeah, but you’re tall and good looking and hot and that’s enough to get them to shut the fuck up if you show up and dip after thirty minutes. You know what, give me your phone. I’ll handle this.”

“No, wait—”

Beomgyu snatches the phone from his hands and plops down on the chair right across from him, the other four quickly running over and looking over his shoulders. Soobin’s heart races. This doesn’t seem like a good idea. He is right. It only takes a second before things spiral into disaster.

“Don’t say that. You gotta sound cooler.”

“Dude, that’s gonna get him bullied. Let me do it—”

“Give it to me!”

“You’re all useless, let me take over!”

“Wait, let me make one last revision—”

“No! What are you all doing?!”

When Soobin finally manages to steal his phone back, he nearly passes out when he reads the message he— his friends— just sent to the group chat.

[Count me in. Do I have to wire double the money if I bring my girlfriend? Nevermind, I’ll just send thrice the amount. Thanks :)]

Horror washes over his face. “I added the smiley face,” Jake proudly announces. Holy fuck, he wants to crawl back into his bed and never wake up. 

“Who sent that I’ll be bringing my girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend! Why did you say I’ll be bringing my girlfriend?!”

His phone vibrates mid-fit and he’s greeted by a reply saying that they’re so happy he’s coming and they can’t wait to see him again. Soobin is not happy nor is he excited. “We can just get you one,” Beomgyu says, as a matter-of-fact, as if you can just purchase a significant other from a gas station vending machine. His face wrinkles in distress. “When’s the reunion again? Saturday? Jakey, do you have any rich heiresses that can pretend to be Soobin hyung’s fake girlfriend for a night?”

“I’ll call Mirae noona, but hyung, are you alright alright with someone fifteen years old—”

Soobin winces. “Please don’t call her.”

“I can try asking Hina,” says Jay. “I don’t know if she has me unblocked yet, though.”

Heeseung narrows his eyes at him. “Isn’t she your ex?”

“Jay dated someone?” Sunghoon gives Jay a mildly offended grimace. “The fuck? Why don’t I know this?”

“He’s always dating someone. But he also gets dumped after three days so I’m not sure if they even count.”

Before they could further into Jay’s questionable dating history, the conversation gets cut short by a groan from Beomgyu. “Wait. We literally have a girl living with us right now.” His words send a signal into all their ears. It takes a moment for it to settle, and when it does, it’s like a thinly stretched rope snaps in half in the air.

Oh.

Right.

You.

“Are—are you sure about that?” Sunghoon is the first to crack the tension-filled silence. “Don’t we have other options?”

Soobin hears furtive whispering and nodding from Jake that somehow involves your name and the phrase “that’s right, she’s a girl, yes,” but chooses to ignore it and instead starts dreading the near and impending future. “It’d be better if it’s someone Soobin hyung already knows,” Beomgyu replies. “Hyung, what do you think?”

He thinks this is insane and bonkers and absolutely fucking impossible to pull off because he can’t even look you in the eye without sweating his skin off. How in the fuck he supposed to fake date you? To stand next to you? To call you with so much affection in front of numerous people he finds extremely uncomfortable to be with? To look at you? To h—

Oh god. He doesn’t have to hold your hand, does he?

“Hey, I don’t think this is fair. That’d mean Soobin hyung will technically—”

“This won’t count towards the bet,” Beomgyu says, then looks at a now red-faced Soobin. “You don’t mind right?”

Shit, he’d have to, right? But he can’t even look at you without his palms leaking like a faucet and stuttering like a broken machine. This is insane. He can’t do this. He can’t and won’t do this or else he’d actually have a heart attack and die.

“Hyung?”

“Is— is this all really necessary?” he finally sputters out.

They all look at him. “But we already sent the message.”

Right. They did. Soobin’s face falls defeated and he sinks back into the chair. “I’ll go grab her,” Beomgyu announces, and the gazes shift from him to their friend who has now risen from his seat and is walking back into the house because since when was he close enough with you to do that? You two usually bicker and argue and Soobin has seen the murderous intent in your eyes whenever Beomgyu tries to provoke you. Sure, the amount of daily arguments has definitely died down as of late and it’s mostly one-sided now, but if there’s anyone close enough to disturb your weekend for something stupid, it’d be Jake.

But they say nothing about it and watch as Beomgyu disappears inside and comes back out a minute later with you in tow, pulling you into the patio by the arm you as you grumble and groan, begrudgingly forcing your legs to follow him. “Seriously, what do you want? I was having a nice nap, you bastard. Where are you taking me? Hey, answer me. Are you still mad about the—” 

When you finally notice the rest of their presence, you stop complaining.

“What’s this? Are you having a cult meeting?”

Jake greets you with a smile. “Take a seat! We’ll explain everything.”

It’s almost impossible to glean anything coherent when there are five-ish boys talking at the same time, but you seem fine, nodding along to whatever Beomgyu and Jay are currently rambling into both of your years. Soobin grows increasingly worried by the second. “I’m so sorry. You really don’t have to do this.”

He hopes you don’t want to do this. Knowing how you practically terrorized him a few weeks ago for accidentally taking a bite out of your ice cream, you probably didn’t want to deal with him either. Yes. This is good. Soobin can just ignore the group chat and ghost his old classmates on the day of the event, so this is—

“I’m down,” you finally say. 

—what?

“You’re— you’re down?” he stutters out. He must have heard wrong, obviously. Haha, there’s no way you would—

“Yup. It’s this Saturday, right? I’m pretty sure I’ll be free, so it’s cool.”

Well, shit.

He’s fucked.

“Why do I feel like you’ve done something like this before?” Beomgyu shoots you a glare of suspicion. You grin. “Of fucking course you have.”

“Sunoo paid me a pretty convincing fee for me to sit pretty at his sister’s wedding,” you explain before shifting your gaze to Soobin, a smile playing on your lips. His fingernails dig into his palms. “Obviously for Soobin, I’ll do it for free. But we have a problem.”

His eyes flit away not even a second after, chest tightening on the spot.

“Yeah. I think we need to work on that.”

Thus begins the series of daily staring contests between the both of you for the next four days until Saturday. It scares the shit out of him when you bang on his door at random times of the day just to torment him with your very existence. Soobin knows you’re doing this to help him. He knows, he really does, but he’s not very good at maintaining eye contact without his heart racing at an unhealthy rate and without sweating profusely. His longest record has been ten and a half seconds before his face explodes like a volcano.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think this is gonna work.”

Soobin’s muffled voice is weak, red face buried into his palms as you both sit cross-legged on his mattress after another failed staring contest. The rows and rows of anime figurines he has displayed next to his bed are all staring at him in disgusting judgment. It’s now Friday. The reunion is tomorrow, and he can’t even look at you— much less pretend like you’ve been dating for the past six fucking months.

“No! You can do it, Soobin! I believe in you! Let’s try one more time, okay?”

You grab his hands, pulling them away from his face and they settle on his soft blankets, yours over his, and he starts silently freaking out because shit— holy shit, you’re squeezing his knuckles. It’s barely any pressure, but he feels it shooting into his throat like a silver snake choking him with ten pints of venom and that’s not even the worst part because you’ve decided to start looking him in the eye again. 

He rasps out a little noise and tilts his head down to the right. You do the same. He shifts his gaze to the left. You do the fucking same, chasing after his eyes relentlessly like a god damned predator on the hunt and he can feel his palms sweating pathetically into his blanket while you’re still locking them in place.

“Okay,” you breathe out, leaning back and he finally feels the blood circulating into his fingers. “What if we follow Jay’s suggestion instead and have you wear sunglasses the entire time?”

Honestly, it’s about time you gave up on him. 

Your eyebrows are scrunched, deep in thought. Soobin can look at you right now because you’re spacing out and not attacking him with the depth of your stare. He’s not used to attention in general, so something about your pretty eyes with pretty eyelashes and prettily focused expression looking directly at him just renders him completely useless. It’s fine when you’re absentmindedly looking at the posters on his wall, still in the midst of weighing your options. It’s fine because you aren’t focused on him.

“But the event is indoors and in the evening, so that won’t make a lot of sense.” And his composure immediately topples down when you flit your gaze back at him. His breath hitches in his throat. “Soobin, do you have any other ideas?”

He grabs the nearest pillow and squeezes it to his chest. “Do— do we have to do this? Can’t we just show up and leave after ten minutes?” Better yet, he just doesn’t show up at all. But you’ve been putting in so much effort these past few days, so he doesn’t want to cancel out of nowhere.

You frown. “Eye contact is the first step to selling that we’re a real couple! Even if we stay for only ten minutes, they’ll get suspicious if you can’t even look at me,” you tell him. “Soobin, let’s keep trying. C’mon.” 

Soobin is trying. He really is trying his best but one more round and he feels he might actually rupture a brain vessel. “Alright,” you exhale. “Nevermind. We’ll handle it somehow. I’ll head back to my room now so you can rest up. See you tomorrow.”

It takes no time for you to get off his bed and start walking to his door. His stomach sinks, watching your back as you reach out for the doorknob and Soobin feels like he had just disappointed you. 

He moves before his mind can think. Before he knows it, he’s out of the bed and is holding your wrist and pulling your hand away from the door. 

You look at him. He looks at you, drenched in the color of panic and confusion and at the same time a shade of earnest emotion. It stays like this for a good couple of seconds, until your lips curl into a smile and your free arm reaches up to his head, fingers dipping into his hair for a light pat.

“Thirty seconds. Good job. See you tomorrow.”

Now you completely understand why Soobin didn’t want to attend this dumpfest.

The hotel function room is fancy. Truly fancy. But the elegant crystal interiors and decor can’t hide the scent of pretentious obnoxiousness in the air, and the music siphoning through the speakers can’t drown out the sound of shit and crap and trash being exchanged between alleged old friends and classmates. It’s gross. The only saving grace of the night is the wine you’re swirling in your hand, regulating your slowly thinning patience at the scene before you.

“Soobin, buddy! Oh man, I didn’t think you’d make it!”

Here we go again. This is the what— fourth, fifth person? Soobin greets number five with less enthusiasm than the newcomer. He’s already worn out, poor boy. You prepare to intervene when you get an opening.

“Jaeyul,” Soobin says. “Hi.”

“It’s been a while, aye? You look great, man! What’s your glow up secret? You gotta tell men dude.”

Another patronizing comment from a mediocre looking male at best. They’re really lucky Soobin is an angel. You can see the discomfort in his smile when the Jae-something bastard hooks him by the neck, tugging your beanpole down because he’s at least four inches taller than his snotty ex-classmate. He looks even more uncomfortable than the time he got an unsolicited view of your red underwear. If it were you, you would’ve already kneed him in the balls to shut up his endlessly chattering mouth.

The guy’s gaze finally lands on you, tucked quietly behind Soobin’s shoulder. Took him long enough, honestly. You’ve been giving him the nastiest stare you can muster for the past five minutes, it’s honestly amazing that he only noticed now. “Who’s this?” he asks. Now, he’s just blatantly checking out someone else’s (fake) girlfriend. You hold back a scoff, but a sneer manages to slip out.

Soobin straightens, ready to repeat the script he’s been cycling through since the beginning of the night. “O-oh, this— this is—” But he seems to be a lot more nervous now. You decide to take the reins and give him a break.

“I’m his girlfriend,” you give Jae-whatever a smile, stepping forward to hold onto Soobin’s arm, who in return flinches at your touch. “Hi. I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your whole reunion. It’s just that I can’t bear to be apart from my Soobin for too long, you know?”

You’re hoping that your sickeningly sweet tone disgusts the living hell out of him and drives him away, but for some reason he lacks the social awareness to do that. “No, not at all. In fact, completely understand. I’m a taken man myself, you know?” That makes this situation a million times worse. He momentarily shifts away from you and directs his next words to Soobin. “Do you remember Bitna? We started seeing each other a few months ago.”

You can feel him stiffen next to you. “Congrats. I’m happy for both of you.”

“Didn’t you used to have a crush on her? I remember you’d give her chocolates every valentine’s—”

The twitch in his grin doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Alright, enough of this bullshit. You’re done humoring this bastard.

“Oh, sorry!” he turns to you again. “That was tactless of me, oh no. I apologize.”

You press your lips together, still smiling. “It’s fine. I wasn’t really paying attention to the bullshit you’ve been tirelessly spouting. I was wondering when you’d shut your trap and finally fuck off.”

Soobin snaps his head towards you, eyes wide in alarm. His dear old friend looks equally shocked. You hum and maintain your expression, pressing yourself closer to Soobin. “Is Bitna the one looking at us right now? Oh dear.” Shot in the dark, but you hit the mark anyway. “Anyway, if you’ll excuse us. My boyfriend and I will be heading back to our suite now to have absolutely brain-shattering, mind-numbing sex for the rest of the night that you—from the looks of your girlfriend over there— won’t be having for the rest of the week if you’re lucky enough to salvage your relationship. It was nice meeting you!”

You can see Bitna stomping her way over to her boyfriend, carrying a palpable dark force in her wake, so you quickly tug Soobin away by the hand and make your quick exit out the function room and into the elevator. You’re aware of how Soobin is currently looking at you like you’re insane as you press on the lowermost button on the panel. His eyes are practically drilling into the side of your face.

“This— this isn’t the way to our room.”

“I know,” you reply, watching as the doors close in front of you. Jay booked a room to sell your whole schtick a little further, but looks like you won’t be able to use it. “We’re not going to our room. That is unless you actually want to follow through with what I said earlier?”

When you turn to look at him, he’s already drenched in pink. You hold back a laugh. They make it so easy for you to mess with them. “I’m joking. I doubt you’d want to spend a minute longer here, so let’s just dip. These clothes are getting stuffy.”

Somehow you found yourselves at the 7-Eleven outside your subdivision, overdressed and sharing a pint of ice cream and two beers under the empty store’s fluorescent lights. You stuff a spoonful into your mouth and let your gaze linger on him for a while. Soobin has his head down, quietly staring at the top of his beer can. With a face like that, you think he’d be more confident and outspoken, but it’s almost funny how he’s trying to scrunch up his large frame in the tiny seat in front of you.

Look, you’re simply tapping an index finger on the back of his hand and he immediately flinches and draws it back. He’s so shy, so timid that you can’t help but grow soft on him.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing he says since you left the hotel.

You rest your cheek against your palm. “For what?”

“I mean, it’s just that— you spent the past four days making sure I didn’t mess up our whole act, but I messed it up anyway and we ended up leaving early. I’m sorry for wasting all your time and effort like that. I’m—I’m really sorry for being so hopeless and pathetic and—”

“Hey, don’t say that,” you cut him off. “If there’s anyone that’s pathetic, it’s that Jaeyun? No, Jaeyun is Jake. It’s that Jae-something bastard who’s pathetic. I mean, was he not loved enough as a child? Does he have a disease that makes everything that comes out of his mouth unrecyclable trash? Anyway, if anything, it should be me and the rest of the boys apologizing for forcing you into this. I’ll help you guilt trip them later when we get—”

You stop. You stop because you notice how his eyes are getting a little red, and how they’re getting a little glassy, and how he’s nipping at his bottom lip that you’re afraid it might start bleeding.

“Oh. Oh no. Soobin, please don’t cry.”

And he starts crying. Well, fuck.

You hastily get out of your seat and plop down right next to him, letting his head drop down to your shoulder. He continues sniffling as you switch between rubbing his back and giving him pats on the head, staring blankly at the empty aisles because the last thing you expected to do today is comfort a grown man in a dingy convenience store while you’re in high heels and a strappy dress.

“Let’s have a movie marathon with the boys when we get back, okay?”

At least you’ve gotten better at consoling people. It seems like a useful skill to have for the rest of your stay.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

#tomorrow x together x reader #enhypen x reader #txt x reader #choi soobin x reader #soobin x reader #choi soobin scenarios #soobin scenarios #lee heeseung x reader #choi beomgyu x reader #park jongseong x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #park sunghoon x reader #tomorrow x together scenarios #enhypen scenarios #txt scenarios #enha scenarios

[osaka-lilac]

okay i’m finally free and can do this tag game cause i was busy sorry for the wait lol

tagged by @killingevie @arodynamics-xo and @formula-red <3333 i love u guys

1. are you named after anyone?

yea! i’m named after my great aunt and she’s pretty cool and she’s super sweet. my full name is a different spelling of alison krauss, she’s a bluegrass singer that my parents like, bonded over. she’s pretty cool actually

2. when was the last time you cried?

uhhh probably when i was still getting over my ex and it was still raw. i got close to it during a rush at work literally today and i had like 5 orders to do alone and i got scared and i just like. profusely apologized for the wait and they were like “well you shouldn’t be alone anyways” and i was like idk sorry i guess

3. do you have kids?

no and i don’t plan to for a long time. i’m literally 19

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

not really? i’m bad with detecting sarcasm a lot when it’s subtle but when you do the whole fake voice thing, then i get it. idk if it’s just the social anxiety in me or what

5. what sports have you/do you play?

so i dabbled a bit in elementary school and middle school but sports have never really been my thing. i did basketball camps in elementary school but i was not good at it, and then i did volleyball camps from fifth grade to seventh grade. i was part of the volleyball team in seventh grade but i wasn’t good and i wasn’t like already part of their crew so i wasn’t treated very well. but i joined tennis in eighth grade and i loved it and i played it up until my senior year of hs when covid cancelled our season. i was more into music, i did band and played french horn in middle school, and have done choir and theatre from fifth grade all the way up to my senior year.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

i’m good at reading people’s faces. i can tell if someone doesn’t like me even by the twitch of an eyebrow. but usually i notice their eyes and smiles first. windows to the soul, am i right? i’m really bad at eye contact when people are also looking so it’s a bit awkward lol. i also love people’s smiles, and i’m able to match emotions p well

7. scary movies or happy endings?

so i used to be big into happier movies, like i would actively avoid movies that made me feel bad cause i didn’t want to feel like that. but once i took my film class in my second year of college i’ve appreciated movies that make me sad and uncomfortable. there’s so much i missed on by being afraid of feeling bad. i really enjoy psychological horror/thrillers, but i’m not into super gory or jumpscare-filled horror movies. think like full metal jacket, ones that make me feel scared in a tense way rather than just violence, although fmj has both

8. any special talents?

depends on what you call special. i did art for two years for college so i’m not too bad at that. i can sing but i haven’t sung in a non-private manner since high school so i’m pretty rusty. i’m not really that special when i think about it and i’m pretty ordinary. but i can make good coffee i guess.

9. where were you born?

north-eastern wisconsin and i barely have left the state in my life other than week-long vacations to florida as a small child that i barely remember.

10. what are your hobbies?

i still draw in my free time, even though i’m still working through my burnout. i like walking around town and driving for fun, i read and play video games but i’ve kinda been falling out of that. i like animal crossing, minecraft, destiny 2, and f1 21 (the only good one on xbox game pass). but i’m not very good at racing games yet cause i don’t have a wheel, i’m on controller. if you consider my hyperfixations hobbies, im big into f1 rn but in the recent past i’ve been really into total drama island, and mcyt (but i barely talk about that anymore)

11. do you have any pets?

yes! back at home i’ve got two cats named rudy and hermey, they just turned 19 in may and they may sound old but they are still kicking it and oh so sweet. they’re brothers and i’ve had them all my life and i love them. i also have a corgi who’s like 7 and she’s super sweet and bouncy and i love her

12. how tall are you?

5’4.5” ~ 162.5 cm [i tell people i’m 5’5” to fuck w them >:) ]

13. fave subject in school?

i liked art, choir, and english a lot. i actually loved writing papers about things i read and my teachers kept them as “examples” to show future students if they were confused so i take that as a personal W

14. dream job?

if you had asked me this like. 8 months ago i would have told you i would like to be a storyboard illustrator for movies or tv shows and stuff like that. however i am so burned out of everything except mindless sketch studies that i don’t know if i want to do that anymore. i’ve been oddly into engineering lately (literally only because of F1) and even though i didn’t enjoy math as much i’m willing to put it aside and work at it for the sake of a possibility of working for F1 one day.

15. eye color?

green with like. brown highlights. it’s not hazel but it’s also not fully green. i’ve been told i also have blue around the outside which idk about that. it’s like the dark blue ring with green and very little brown highlights.

uhhh i’m a little late to the party for this so idk who’s been tagged and done this already but i’m gonna tag @toffee-and-tandoori , @racingliners , and @tinyweltmeister as well as anyone else who wants to do this :)

#ask game #thank you for tagging me hopefully u like me #shut up allie

[kelebriel]

So I’ve been rereading Homestuck lately. Considering the whole cafe thing coming up, I think the finale of HS^2 is going to release this upcoming Homestuck Day, so I wanna be prepared! And it’s been fuckin forever since I read it/the epilogues/HS^2, so I need to refresh myself! And I wanted to reread it, so get off my jock. So far, I’ve finished the first three acts, including the intermission. As I’ve been rereading it, I wanna catalogue some thoughts, below the cut! There’s gonna be discussion of animal death, abuse, and slurs, as well as just general spoilers, if you still care about that but haven’t read it yet. Can’t imagine why you haven’t read it yet, it’s been years. Jeez, man. First thought: Man, Homestuck is still a good fucking webcomic. I’m having a lot of fun reading it again.

-Homestuck starts pretty slow. I always knew that, but going back to it and man it takes a while to get going, action-wise

-Data Structure For Assholes pretty much could be written by Karkat, if Karkat wasn’t abysmal at that also.

-Rereading makes it baffling that anyone ever came to the conclusion that Dave was actually cool. He’s constantly being a doof and begging for attention from practically the word go. -So I know this might be controversial, but the r-slurs thrown around are actually kind of accurate. I was 13 when Homestuck started, and let me tell you, we were absolutely throwing slurs at each other. I can’t say for certain how much it’s being used now, being nearly thirty years old, but there’s a verisimilitude to that now. Not saying it’s necessary or anything, I don’t know for sure about that, and it’s probably an answer that changes on a person to person basis, but it was how teens were talking back in the day.

-The years have come and gone, and will continue to come and go. It’s already been nearly a decade since Homestuck’s heyday. But it doesn’t matter how much time passes; Homestuck music will continue to kick ass. I got fucking goosebumps during the EoA3 animation!  -Boy oh boy Jade could have been real bad, huh? From a narrative, OOC standpoint. This girl who lives in a temple island, who has futuristic technology and is a crack shot with a rifle and is also a nuclear physicist, whose grandpa was a billionaire and whose current guardian is a dog with powers over space and time, who mysteriously and inexplicably (at least at first) knows how things are going to go before they happen? Could have been a Mary-Sue-shaped millstone around the neck of the whole comic.

-I didn’t remember that Tavros was introduced third out of the twelve trolls. Seems kind of odd, considering how more of a side character he is compared to Karkat and Kanaya, numbers 1 and 2. Not complaining, though, Tavros attempting to troll Dave and getting supremely fucked with in return is still hilarious.

-So we kind of know that Bro was constantly fighting Dave to toughen him up for the Medium and everything. Was it successful? Sure, Dave was traumatized to hell and back by having to sword fight the person who was supposed to be raising him, but he is pretty good with a sword by the time he gets into the game. Although John and Rose are pretty good, too, and neither of them had assigned their strife specibus before that day. Makes me wonder how necessary all the fucked up conditioning really was. I’ll have to keep this in mind as I go forward.

-After their rooftop confrontation, where Bro shatters Dave’s sword and then flies off on a rocket skateboard, he drops his copy of the beta on Dave’s chest. How did he know that Dave needed them? Was that ever addressed? Is there some kind of software on Dave’s computer that tracks what he’s saying to his friends? That’s fucked up!

-The thing I’ve been coming back to the most, that’s been sticking in my head the longest, is Jaspers. I don’t know what it is about him and his fate that preoccupies me more than it did some twelve or so years ago, when I first read the comic. Maybe I’ve just been made more susceptible to pet death, I dunno. That image of a young Rose psychoanalyzing a cat in a suit was fucking adorable, and the flash detailing Rose finding him and the resulting funeral was heartbreaking. And knowing what we do now about Mom’s personality and how passive-aggresive/ironic she is, I have to say - if my cat died, I would also build him a mausoleum if I could. My family has an older cat now, who I love to pieces, who’s probably going to die within a few years. Me moving out was probably a good move to help build some space for when that happens. He’s a great cat. He deserves a mausoleum. And if I were in a position where I could bring him back, even at the cost of the world, well. I don’t know if I would actually do it, but I’d certainly consider it. Another thing that struck me about Jaspers’ disappearance is that I feel pretty certain that Mom had some inkling about what happened. Her house was built over the Skaianet lab, which had appearifiers and stuff in it. If Rose described what happened when Jaspers vanished, she might have been able to at least recognize the method of disappearance. I dunno what she would have or even could have done, but. Interesting to think about

That’s about all I have for right now. We’ll see what else comes to mind as I continue to read.

#Homestuck #tw: animal death #TW: abuse #TW: slurs #Homestuck spoilers #If any of you still care about that I guess #Kel's Homestuck Reread

[prqltothesql]

Been feeling really really depressed recently. Like REALLY depressed since my birthday. So here’s what my 2022 has been like

- Started an indoor drumline at the brand new HS that I’m teaching at. We did a show of Spider-Man music from the Spider-Man PS4 game, the Into the Spider-Verse movie and Avengers. We did standstill so it was low-commitment, low importance, but they had an undefeated season (of two shows lmao) and the kids did great. - Taught Middletown’s pit and wrote their show which was in dedication to Kevin, who passed in July 2021. We did Jupiter, Schism, Wish You Were Here and Waiting on the World to Change, which are 4 very different songs but I think I made it work. Kids did great, I met a new tech named Lauren from UD who was super awesome and became one of my closest friends during the season. At Wildwood, while we only finished 5th, we finished 2nd in music, getting 1st overall in music achievement from the only judge on the panel worth a damn. Was my last season after working with them since 2014 and a great way to go out. - Saw Tool, Dream Theater and John Petrucci live in concert this year, as well as seeing 3 wrestling shows; NJPW, AEW and WWE. - Saw The Batman, Doctor Strange 2, Jurassic World: Dominion, Thor: Love and Thunder, Rogue One IN IMAX!, Clerks III, Black Panther 2 - My dad died this year. I’ve been wrestling hard with my grief all year and it’s hitting really hard as we get to my birthday, Christmas and the New Year, all things that were extremely important to my dad and us as a family. A few weeks before he died, he started doing a bunch of stuff around here. Fixing my ceiling. Putting up floor jacks in the basement, fixing things, offering to buy me things I wanted. It was very weird, like he knew he was gonna die and didn’t have long. Two days before he died, he had a mini-heart attack. He said he threw up and was sweating and having chest pains, every sign of a heart attack. Yet that same day, he had his friend over to record and was helping him record a song. The day before he died, he woke up feeling great, we ate dinner, he was in an awesome mood, everything was fine, and he woke up the next day, had another heart attack and died. My sister didn’t wake me up cause she didn’t want to leave him alone, even though I was right upstairs and it would have taken just a few seconds. I don’t know if there was anything I could have done, or anything anyone could have done at that point. I never got to say goodbye to him. I never got that chance. I woke up and he was dead. - I planned his funeral and burial, I think I did a good job but didn’t write a eulogy, just gave some haphazard speech that went only a couple of minutes. That still haunts me. I miss him so much and think about him every day. The grief, the regret, the anxiety, the depression, the guilt. It’s not been 5 stages of grief, it’s just been a recurring cycle, ping-ponging back and forth between all of them, never quite hitting acceptance. - After he died, I gained a lot of weight and wasn’t active in the summer to the point where a brisk walk made me short of breath and caused my back to ache. After doing more band, I felt a lot better, but I still haven’t lost any of the weight I put on. - I went and saw a Blue Rocks game with Rachel on Father’s Day, just so we didn’t have to sit at home and refresh social media and see a bunch of stuff about Father’s Day. I went and saw 2 drum corps shows with Drew and it was really really fun just getting to go and be a spectator and talk shit and watch shows. - I met a girl online who lived in Ohio who we talked for 3 months and then she blocked me on everything and ghosted me out of nowhere. So there’s that. - On a whim, I applied for a job teaching the front ensemble at George Mason University. The director is a guy I’ve known since I was in HS, also a Delaware guy. I’ve never taught or marched world class, I’ve only taught HS for a majority of my teaching career. I didn’t think I’d get it, but I applied anyways, interviewed for it and was offered the position. I’ve gone down 6 out of the 8 weekends so far and it’s been a blast but very humbling. I never would have gotten the chance to do this had my dad been alive. He hated me doing band, and now with me driving down on the weekends and being gone all weekend, stranding my sister here by herself, he’d have lost it and it would have been miserable. But instead these weekends are like little adventures for me, and I’m learning so much and getting my name out there for possibly other things. It’s a bittersweet thing. - I got COVID. After the first marching band competition of the season, I felt bad, wound up being sick, wound up testing positive for COVID. My sister also got it. I’m vaccinated, my sister is not, but it both hit us equally as hard. That was really rough. - Odessa went to ACCs as a competing unit for the first time this year and it was at Hersheypark Stadium, so getting to take this little band to such a big time place was awesome, and we finished 3rd in percussion and 3rd in colorguard, which was huge. Last year was weird because I was still dealing with strife with my dad about teaching again, I was double dipping at Middletown because I was loyal to Kevin’s memory and Garrett, and Odessa was only doing a backing-track-led Festival class show. And Middletown had a core of seniors in the drumline. So it was hard splitting my time. But this year, committed only to teaching one school, it was a lot better. And I enjoy working with Odessa because the kids are brand new and only learning what I’m teaching them, so I can drill in fundamentals. I don’t have to break bad habits or change culture. I’m creating the culture, I’m creating the technique program. It’s been super fun. - I’m still at my job. We lost our manager back in February and we gained a new one back in August. It’s been rough in that transition as she’s changing the paradigm in our department, but it’s been good. - We lost our second to last dog, Wolfie, back last November. The last remaining dog, my dog Angel, she doesn’t have long either, so I’m dealing with a lot of sadness and anxiety about her, hoping she’s good, trying to keep her health the best I can these last few days, weeks, months she has. Overall, I’m in a decent position in my life. I’m still single, I’m still in the same crappy house, I’m still stuck with my sister. But I’ve made moves, I’ve improved as a teacher, I have two really great jobs lined up teaching and I’m having a blast at both, whether I’m good or having success or nobody likes me or not, it’s been very fulfilling. And I’ve done a lot of cool stuff and despite the soul-crushing sadness of losing my dad that has taken hold of in my heart, a lot more opportunities to live life and have fun have opened up for me and Rachel and it’s been interesting learning how to live in this new life.

[yoitscro]

I still haven’t watched the video...BUT.

While I’m still of the belief that Sarah Z probably shouldn’t have posted some “rise and fall” video on Homestuck --which uses the traction of 4/13, a positive day for a fandom that likes to eat itself, to give attention some to criticisms involving speculative allegations-- , I’ve seen more anger from people that I frankly don’t trust being upset about it being a “hit” video to tear down WP, and jumping the gun to the point of threatening legal action, versus actually seeing casual watchers talking about the discourse; more so about nostalgia and “ah, homestuck exists still”.

I assume the paranoid jump on the video is because of casual watcher’s potential reactions? But there’s, also, more reactions toward the team’s response versus what the team + team friends were presumably worried about...so like. I guess the fire being fueled is ironically only being fueled because it’s being blown out of proportion, and thereby brought to peoples attention through *that*.

Sarah’s video is not 100% right. There are false facts from what I’ve seen briefly of. I personally don’t think that a person who’s read Homestuck but has only existed in the fandom space primarily during certain years has the same, fair perspective as a current homestuck that’s been aware of the environment going on, especially on Homestuck Twitter. Instead of things being made in 10 days, apparently, and there not being any effort to reach out to anyone on the team before presenting information, I would’ve just, you know, not done that. At least give it a shot, you literally lose nothing but avoid many things later.

The team has also faced blatant threats and harassment, which isn’t the same as other queer or poc people criticizing how homestuck handles content in their own space, but it exists. There’s certainly a reasonable, human reaction that I get, which come from the anxiety of being put on the spot by a something-thousand subscribed youtuber while you’re trying to figure things out in the background as things have been quiet, right after the turbulent year of 2020. I’ve actually been really frustrated that people haven’t considered that and that these reactions are coming out of nowhere. There is a trauma to consider since this is not the white guy taking the brute of stuff despite people using Hussie’s name as a synonym for the team.

There’s also the fact that Gio was apparently not asked to be used in the video beforehand? At least that’s what I’ve heard, which if true was an oversight, given how one may want to ask “hey, i’m making a video on your articles which could absolutely put you in the center of this since I’m using your online identity; let me get your permission at least.”

That said, based on audience reaction, and how it’s been the opposite of what a handful of people associated with officialized content expected, which is the reason things are being targeted right now, I feel like this is an...overreaction. 

Again, I haven’t watched the video. But the video existing with the whispered points it’s brought up is the reason that things exploded yesterday. I’ve seen more dislikes of Sarah’s video from a loud minority who, 1. are people who refuse to ever criticize the issues with Homestuck for actual years, and 2. people who have watched 20 minutes of it and heard what they wanted to hear, versus seeing the criticism acknowledged by everyone else, outside of an acknowledged comment before moving on. The reaction is what’s giving it the most attention, actually.

Apparently in the video she mentions how she’s not trying to enable any harassment, states that somethings presented are just speculation, and doesn’t namedrop anyone specific?

That seems like a cliche way to act like someone can’t ever respond to stuff like this, but that’s usually saved for smaller followed beef on tumblr or twitter. Not a company or it’s contracted IP.

I’ve seen the people say it wasn’t that bad and have honed in on WP + acquaintance reactions versus what was said in the video. It was just something that was posted on a day where so much other 4/13 stuff was going on, which could’ve been given attention instead of one person’s video, which was apparently 2 hours long, and was already being venomously hated before one would’ve been able to watch it in full? (The idea of the anger coming from those who haven’t watched the video is...not surprising. There have been people put on blast for HS opinions for just a sentence.)

The kickstarter update’s response could’ve been posted itself, versus all the stuff prior and after it (the supposed legal action), but I honestly think that it shouldn’t have taken a breadtuber’s threat on Homestuck’s reputation for fans who ACTUALLY engage with it to have communication with what’s been going on, which we’ve been asking for for years. There’s a trust that needs to be rebuilt on both sides, be it from entitlement, elitism, or bullying, and this did not help.

I don’t like that Hussie only speaks up when a boiling point is reached, and people who work on his team are beyond gone or dealing with the fallout with how he’s neglected his IP and the fans that’ve somehow stayed to support it; crowd control and community management is important, and every other indie creator or small team on the internet who thinks ahead has been getting this. And I honestly hope that anyone who is legit having a terrible time producing HS content considers whether or not they should continue to stick around, for their own mental health.

If by a week from now we’re talking about the reaction of the video and the video itself is potentially long out of people’s mind well. That’s the point of this rant.

and on the other side, quoting a friend:

Sarah z's video didn't need to be released on a day of celebration for a healing fanbase and that video regressed that and caused the official team to have fucking public panic attacks.

Not a great 4/13, tbh.

#homestuck #sarah z #yeah so this is less about the video content and more about the reaction thats blown up more than the video. #ive always wanted wp to strive and do better...this aint it. #the glass canon has caused more issue than it set out to fix #and i get the emotional reaction but...come on. #also some of the reactions are just disingenuous; shes wrong about some trans opinions but dont erase that her trans editor wrote jade takes #not her

[liquor-and-intellect]

Tis the Damn Season/Dorothea HS AU

I realized I haven’t posted on here in awhile but I couldn’t get this story out of my head. I don’t know if I have anyone who sees my posts anymore, but I hope you like it. Let me know if there should be a part 2.

Inspired by Tis the Damn Season and Dorothea by Taylor Swift. 

Dorothea Riley—or Thea, which she insisted on being called— watched as her breath created a thin film of fog across the window of her Uber. It’s almost like she didn’t want to see the familiar road signs that reminded her she was arriving in her hometown. Sometimes the nostalgia felt too much—too thick in the back of her throat, too heavy on her chest. It reminded her that it had been a full year since she had returned home. One official dizzying trip around the sun since the last time she’d stepped off the plane in that small terminal outside of Tupelo. A year since she’d seen him.

After the driver took the exit off the highway, it was not long before Thea was emerging from the car, boots crunching on the fresh snow as she ascended the stairs that led to her childhood home. The cold wrapped itself around her and bit at her exposed neck but never penetrating the warmth of her luxurious coat.

It stood frozen in time, just like the whole town. The familiarity now creating comfort in her where it had once felt like the bony fingers of suffocation. From the minute she became aware that she wanted to pursue a career in acting, the walls of this town seemed to slowly close in on her. Thea knew she would never land her dream role if she stayed here. Everyone who was successful had to make their own sacrifices—and leaving her hometown and the ones she loved behind, was hers.

Her high school self had felt too big for these streets. She dreamed of bustling cars, the rush of a new city and a fast-paced life. She partly blamed her mother for this. She had used Thea as her little dress up doll for most of her childhood. Even when Thea didn’t want to be a pageant queen, her mother said to stick her chin up and smile. And before she knew it the flash of camera lights from a stage became intoxicatingly addicting. So, she had walked across the creaky stage in the worn-down gymnasium, got her high school diploma, and promptly packed her bags to drive her small Toyota Corolla to L.A. In between acting classes, she’d be offered a role in a fast-paced, high-budget, sci-fi movie and the next four years would become all business with little time to return home or answer phone calls from the people she had left behind.

“Mama,” Thea breathed, letting the stifled southern accent of Mississippi slip into that single word. Her mother’s grin was a breath of fresh air, all white teeth and thinned lips, smile lines at the edges of her eyes. Her hair had more silver in it than the last time she’d seen her, although she thought that it suited her warm complexion.

Her mother pulled her into a warm embrace, nose buried in her dark hair. “It’s so good to have you home, Dorothea.”

The smell of Christmas pine and cookies filled her nose as she joined her parents for dinner. Her dad grunted and nodded while her mother filled her in on all the small-town gossip. It wasn’t unusual in a town like this for a quick trip to the grocery store to become equivalent to logging into Facebook. Her mother knew the status of everyone’s relationship, divorce and child-raising failures.  

“Oh,” her mother said as if she had almost forgot. “The Styles boy went on a date with Augustine—the Johnson’s daughter— a few months back. I think they even went on a second as well.” Her eyes narrowed slightly, watching for a reaction from Thea.

Thea’s heart swelled at his name, although she wouldn’t let it show on her face. Flashes of shifty hands and stolen kisses passed behind her eyes as if she had them filed for moments like this. Augustine? She definitely didn’t seem like his type and it might have been the pang of jealousy rearing its insidious green head but Thea really never cared for Augustine much.

Harry and her had… well, history. A compilation of what-ifs and almosts filled the lines of their pages. They had ran in the same circle of teenagers and every secret party that was worth attending always ended in alcohol-laden kisses in dark corners between the two—sometimes even under bleachers at the football field where they swore that the miserable town would be behind them one day. They never dated officially— as someone else to inevitably leave behind absolutely terrified Thea—but if there was anyone she wanted to kiss on a lonely Friday night… it had always been him.

It wasn’t until last year when she returned home for Christmas—after movie premiers and filming for a new role—that they discovered the old flame was still alive and burning. They had slept together and Thea had felt herself developing feelings for the curly-haired boy faster than she could comprehend. His laughter, his green eyes…

She swallowed and looked out the dark window.

Thea had promised to stay with him for New Year’s Eve before she got word of a large party back in LA. There would be a producer there that was working on a new project that she was keeping her eye on. She used that as the excuse to leave prematurely, although deep down she knew that she was only running away from someone who would just make it harder to leave again. She couldn’t afford the emotional cost she’d have to pay to let herself develop feelings for him. So, as it had been one full year since she had stepped within this town, it had also been one full year since she had talked to Harry. After she declined a few of his calls, he got the hint and left her alone. Radio silence should have made the ache go away but nevertheless the wrench of her heart when his name crossed her mind persisted.

It might have been thoughts of Harry and his warm hands that drove her to accept an invite to the local dive bar that night. Her childhood friends heard she was in town and wanted to grab drinks for old time’s sake. The memories that came with this place were enough to remind her that she deserved a drink or two.

“Is that the movie star, Dorothea Riley?”

“She goes by Thea now, Laura!”

Thea exhaled a breathy laugh at the familiar voices as she entered the bar, warm air hitting her from the biting cold. Laura, her old friend, stood around five foot tall but enveloped her in a hug tighter than her mother had.

“It’s so good to see you again,” Thea hummed into the embrace before following Laura to the table of faces that she frequently sees in reminiscent high school photos. Pictures littered her childhood bedroom of football games, beach trips and secret parties with all these people being a part of those memories.  

“How’s L.A. these days, Thea?” piped John, his arm thrown around his newly wed wife, Anna. They had been together since they hit puberty, so it wasn’t a surprise to hear that they had recently tied the knot. Thea had even received an invitation to the wedding during the summertime. She sent a gift in her place, offering her congratulations in her absence due to a busy filming schedule. “We’d been thinking of taking a trip next year.”

Thea took a seat on the wooden chair facing them, casually crossing her arms across her chest to warm up her body. “Warm,” she breathed. “I forgot how winter felt.”

She didn’t realize the weight of her words at that moment though. It wasn’t until the door to the bar opened and a crisp chill caused an eruption of goosebumps across her arms that she felt a cold that went down to her bones and across the planes of her heart.

Harry brought with him another type of winter that caused even December to falter in its snowy tracks when his gaze met Thea’s from across the room. While they were previously glassy from the wind outside, they had now sharpened, stopping her from even taking a breath. A muscle in his jaw twitched and Thea shivered. Her expensive coat offered no warmth to this type of cold.

She looked down but was very aware of the familiar sound of steps approaching the table that had now gone silent. Thea’s heart contracted with ache as she realized with surprise that she recognized the way his boots sounded on floorboards.

She felt the heavy gazes of her friends shifting back and forth between the two.

“Harry!” Laura greeted within the heavy silence that sat like weights on Thea’s chest. “I’m glad you could make it. I know how busy the music store is this time of the year.”

Instead of deciding whether to be an active participant within the conversation or remain mute, Thea was rescued by the ringing of her phone. She would have taken an out if it had been a telemarketer at this point, but it was actually her agent and she stood gesturing to the buzzing iPhone in her hands in apology.

As she walked out, she passed Harry and for a moment time stilled as they were the closest they had been in a full year. Through the coldness that seeped from him, she couldn’t help but think back on the nights that his warmth had lit a furnace heating her body with touches and soft gasps. It made such a contrast to the way she pulled her coat tighter around her body now within his presence.

Her voice echoed off the brick walls of the alley she slipped into beside the bar as she spoke to her agent about how long she would be visiting her family. Main street was lively tonight as cars slowed and passed one another, the drivers waving through the windows as no one was a stranger in Tupelo. The phone call was brief, and she found herself taking a few deep breaths to encourage her to reenter the bar.

When she turned on her heeled boot to leave the alleyway, she stopped in her tracks at the familiar stature waiting for her at the corner. She couldn’t help the way her heart sped up.

“Didn’t think you could make time to visit with your busy schedule,” he drawled, his voice dipping lower into the syllables like it was wanting to rest there. His accent was a sharp contrast to the southern dialect that plagued this town. Like a hint of world further away that had always attracted Thea.  “Guess I was right.” It was biting… but not too harsh.

Thea swallowed. “I…” she began, trying to find the words to express how much she missed him but failing. “I deserve that.”

He nodded, leaning his shoulder against the bricks. “You never answered my calls, Dorothea.”

She had shortened her name to go along with her step into fame. She had never loved it. She didn’t like the way it sounded cushioned with a southern accent, announced through a pageant speaker, followed with expectations. But hearing it out of Harry’s mouth… it made her almost regret asking to be called Thea if there was a chance someone could say her name with conviction like Harry did and light the flicker of a flame in her gut like he did now. Maybe she wouldn’t be so stuck on him.

“I didn’t know how to.” With all the thoughts running through her mind, these were the only words her mouth could form.

He stared at her, holding her in her place, then said, “I’ve been seeing Augustine.” His green eyes narrowed slightly, analyzing the way she shifted her weight to her other foot.

The ache was briefly subdued as a flash of anger hit her in the gut. Was he trying to torture her?

She had never been known for holding her tongue and the mix of his statement with the biting cold caused an irritation to leak into her voice. “If I wanted to know who you’ve been seeing, I would have asked.”

His eyes danced with some hidden amusement at her rebuttal as the corner of his mouth raised slightly, causing a dimple to form in his cheek. Dorothea didn’t know but Harry had been wanting—craving—a reaction from her. Some hint to confirm the suspicion that she was hurting just the same as he was. The artificial indifference she tried to portray put a bad taste in his mouth. She might have been an award-winning actress… but he knew her.

“What’s so funny?”

“I knew you cared.”

She sucked in a breath, eyes looking to her shoes. “I never said I didn’t.”

The small hint of confession caused Harry to stumble. He had been ready to tear into her, yell at her, make her feel like he had felt for a whole 365 days she had been gone. It was easier to be mad at someone you saw only through a tiny screen, to tell yourself you hated them when you were separated by miles. Now that she was standing in front of him… he just hurt. A dull ache throbbing in his chest as he looked at her. She wasn’t the same person… he knew that. But she had the same hesitant tortured eyes that he remembered begged him to not go to the prom as she wore the prettiest dress he had ever seen.

And he always folded when it came to her. She wanted to piss off her mother, skip the prom that she was supposed to be queen of in the middle of her teenage rebellion. So he did. He turned left at the intersection where he should have turned right and they ran through the park, dirt staining their fancy clothes, seventeen years old and nothing figured out.

It was in the present that he stepped forward and the gap that had separated them warmed slightly. There was a small moment before he grabbed her face and kissed her that Thea wondered if she should stop him. She had been guarding her heart, building a brick wall around the organ for when she returned to Tupelo. She couldn’t make this hurt like it had last time—it had almost destroyed her.

But like everything else when it came to him… she folded. So she let him grab her face and press his wind-chapped lips to hers, warming up her mouth and letting the cold exterior of her chip somewhat. It felt just as passionate as it had the time before a year ago. He kissed her like a man would.

Strikingly enough, she realized that no one in L.A. kissed like Harry did. No other man grabbed her so hungrily, yet so gentle. They didn’t breathe mint into her and caress her cheeks with their long thumbs. Their presence didn’t fill the void spaces of her soul where things didn’t make sense.

It was for those reasons that she eased back slightly, breathing into the space between them, “This doesn’t change anything. I’m still going to leave.”

He knew deep down that she would say that, although it didn’t stop his gut from feeling the punch any less. At the end of the day, she could tear him apart with her bare hands and he’d still support everything she does, watch every movie, every interview, buy every endorsed product. Live his whole life waiting for the brief moments he’d have her like this—with him.

“If it’s all the same to you,” he whispered, pushing a hair back behind her ear. “It’s the same to me.”

He didn’t believe it one bit but he pushed his mouth back to hers anyways.

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles ff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagines #harry styles au #tis the damn season #dorothea #writing #harry styles writing

[lydia-yougowith-stiles]

My Top Ships of 2020

It’s FINALLY here!! The list of my top ships of 2020. What a year it was and I can’t believe it’s already January 8th as I’m writing this. Just like I mentioned with my 2020 TV Wrap Up, a lot of these ships helped me escape during 2020. I can’t wait to see where they’re headed for 2021. I have also started watching a few things in December, but I will be saving those ships for my 2021 list. (You’ll notice I have already expanded this list from last year.) Last year, I debated about including an Honorable Mentions sections. This year I will be including it because I wanted to still talk about these ships, but found it hard to rank them with the others. Without further ado here we go!  

Oh! One last thing. Compared to previous years Bellarke has not made it on this list. J. Roth did us dirty with this last season of the 100 and I will pretend it didn’t exist. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

~ Anne with an E: Jerry and Diana

These two were SOOO CUTE until Diana started acting rude and left our perfect boy Jerry. Watching this last season back, I grew not to like this couple as much as I did the first time. This most definitely had to do with the fact that I knew the outcome AND I could see Diana using him more earlier. She wanted to experience something different and rebel and Jerry was there. But they were so cute as they walked home together and shared books. I’m also really proud of Anne for sticking by Jerry when she found out the truth about their relationship. (As you probably already know I love Jerry so much and don’t want any harm to come for him, so this was a tough one, but yes I’m still including it.) 

~Umbrella Academy: Klaus and Dave

I started watching Umbrella Academy this year, so I was lucky to not just experience the first season, but also the second. I instantly fell in love with Klaus and Dave and we barely got any scenes with them. (That’s my main reason for making them an honorable mention rather than a permanent spot on this list.) I wish we had more scenes with them in love. We do get some great moments in scene two with a younger Dave, which highlights Klaus’ love for him, but it’s not the same. I really love how much Dave changed Klaus. I would argue they’re my favorite romantic relationship on the show. 

~Walking Dead World Beyond: Hope and Elton

Here’s my classic shipping people together who weren’t technically romantic (but honestly those often make the best and most satisfying ships if the writers open their eyes to the chemistry that is on screen...but I digress). While they technically weren’t “romantic” you could tell that Elton grew to have a crush on Hope as the season went on. There was definitely a lot going on between their characters as Hope ***I’m going to try and avoid a spoiler here*** was one of the last people to see Elton’s mom. I think there’s potential for these two down the road and as there are only 2 seasons slotted for Walking Dead World Beyond, I can only hope this is the path the writers take. 

~Violetta: Angie and Pablo

Okay, so even if you have not heard of the Disney Channel telenovela “Violetta” or seen many of my posts, can you just appreciate the chemistry in the above moment between these two people! For a good amount of season 1 of the show, Angie and Pablo were the couple for me and I was ESTATIC when they finally got together. I anticipated it wouldn’t be for long because of slight spoilers and more intuition, but god were they beautiful together. Friends to lovers to the extreme. Screw Herman! Now as I’m slowing watching season 3, I know these two won’t be OTP, but I can savor in this moment and remember the good times. 

17. Violetta: Violetta and Leon

Two back to back Violetta appreciation posts. This show took up my entire 2020 from awaiting for season 2 (and 3) on Disney Plus, as well as watching the 80 episodes (a piece!). Currently, I’m trying to get back into wanting to watch season 3 (as other shows took precedent). With the amount of Violetta I watched, I couldn’t leave Violetta and Leon off this list. They were the favored ship of the show (and one of the most central). In season 1 it took me a little time to like them together, but by episode 35 I could feel the mutual attraction. I remember the moment of them singing/playing piano together. I knew they’d be endgame. My main complaint is that when these two are a part they are SUPER ANNOYING! Like they (specifically I’m thinking of Leon) say rude things about the other person and I’m like how could you be okay to get back together? Their best moments are definitely in season 2, whether singing to the other person or imagining singing to them. Definitely at the end of the season when they’re in Spain. I still have to watch the end of their love story, so I hope it’s satisfying.

16. High School Musical the Musical the Series: Nini and Ricky 

So I added this ship onto my list long before I knew about any real-life/personal drama that was happening among the cast. I considered taking it off the list, but as I am discussing the fictional characters I decided to leave it. High School Musical the Musical the Series was a very early 2020 watch. I liked the show more than I was expecting and was upset to hear that season 2 wouldn’t include a performance of High School Musical 2. (I mean, Beauty and the Beast...really?) This was one of those extremely rare times where I actually liked a ship that was the main ship. Usually, I favor the other part of the love triangle or the underappreciated part. I was both shocked and happy when Ricky and Nini kissed in the finale and got together. Of course the final episode ended with some hurtles for season 2 (which now I guess there will be even more), but it was good to see them together and happy. 

15. Legacies: Hope and Josie

With all of these shows ending earlier than they should have due to COVID, I feel like I’m going to sound like a broken record when I say I don’t remember a lot of what happened in this last season. (I guess for 2021 I’ll have to take more thorough notes, but then again you can see which ships I like more.) With Hope and Josie, season 2 was a bit of a rough road. I mean, what do you expect when you erase yourself from existence for the greater good, which means that your boyfriend hooks up with your friend/eventual lover? (Yes, I added in that second part.) Josie and Landon felt very awkward in the beginning of this season when they were in “love” and forgot about Hope. (I rarely heard anyone say they liked them together.) It got more awkward when Hope came back in the picture and had to watch them together. Then we had that spill with Josie being evil (which I was surprised they tackled so early on in the show. Feels like a later plot to explore). Due to all these hurtles, there were less opportunities for my OTP of Legacies. The best moment we got was in the above photo when Hope went into Josie’s subconscious and was speaking to Josie as a fictional pig the whole time. We will never forget how the “pig” suggested Hope kiss her awake. Come on Julie! Give us what we want! 

14. Single Parents: Will and Angie

Will and Angie were far down on my Top Ships last year. Another friends to lovers, you could just feel the chemistry between these two and that was strengthened in season 2. (I just loved some couples more this year I guess.) Last year, they couldn’t really act on too much romance between these two because of Poppy and Douglas’ relationship, but as those two had some drama this season, Will and Angie had a greater chance of getting together. We watched moments where the two pretended to be a couple (for the sake of Will’s parents) and eventually Will came to the realization of his feelings for Angie. In a classic season 2 plot device of a sitcom, Angie decided to go with her real-life husband/Graham’s dad at the end of the season. But you could see she also had feelings for Will and they HAVE to act on those next season. I can’t remember if the show got a third season, and I will be crushed if they didn’t. Previously, they’ve been mid-season starts so I feel hopeful.  

13. Emma: Emma and Knightley

The last movie I watched in movie theaters was Emma. While it makes me sad that I haven’t been able to go back since, this film was a great one to hold this memory. As an avid Jane Austen fan (and period drama as you will continue to notice), I LOVED this Emma and Knightley pairing. This couple is one of my favorites of the Austen heroines and heroes and I have many favorite reincarnations from Romola Garai and Johnny Lee Miller to Joanna Sotomura and Brent Bailey in Emma Approved (still so sad those two broke up). So it was very hard to live up to what I’ve watched and liked before. Anya Taylor-Joy and Johnny Flynn did not disappoint and will be one of the combos I think of when I re-visit the novel. I love how we didn’t focus on their crazy age difference and really highlighted on their relationship as family friends and going back a long time. I specifically like the decision to bring in some early nods to Knightley admitting his feelings for Emma and then not doing so because of the presence of Frank Churchill. Just talking about all of this makes me want to re-watch the movie all over again. :) **If you’re a fan of this combo or Emma/Knightley in general that you have to watch this video. It is amazing! 

12. Avatar The Last Airbender: Zuko and Katara

Another binge from 2020. I watched Avatar the Last Airbender in the summer and was amazed by the story-telling and how deep they could get for a kid’s program. Despite, being in MS/HS when the show originally aired, I hadn’t watched it before. So many people had told me to do and then with the help of Netflix, I felt the pull to do so during quarantine. When I headed into the show, I thought Zuko and Katara eventually got together. Mainly, because I know the fandom and love for them is so strong. I instantly felt this too. There were so many great parallels between there characters. (I mean clearly we have the whole water and fire dynamic.) Even when these two weren’t in scenes together I was thinking about how well they’d work together. So needless to say I was disappointed when they didn’t get to be endgame. We did a lot of great moments at the end of season two and definitely with season three. The Last Agni Kai scene will forever give me chills and represent how deep Zutara is. The evidence is all right there. Such a great ship. 

11. Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist: Zoey and Max

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist was one of my favorite watches of 2020 and such a feel good show for a moment with a lot of uncertainty. (I highly recommend if you haven’t watched it. Season 2 just started on NBC this week.) For a while I felt very on the fence if I shipped Zoey more with Simon or Max. As you can notice friends to lovers has been a common thread with my posts (although I LOVE a good enemies to lovers) and Max was that 100%. Plus, he’s played by Skylar Astin so what’s not to love. Despite, all of that I felt both of the men in Zoey’s life had potential and I could be happy if she ended up with either one. By episode 6 I was leaning towards Max (if I’m remembering correctly this would be the “When I Wake Up” number with the scooter) and then by episode 8 I was all in! I mean she sang “I’m Yours” to him. (Episode 8 was one of my favorites for the whole season. She did a fantastic job singing and I loved the twist of events. Also, Max being there for her was adorable. The “Pressure” song in the conference room OMG, get me a Max!) The only thing that upset me about their relationship and Max’s character was how sudden his emotions were. It became all or nothing and it felt like too much. He shouldn’t have given Zoey an ultimatum like that. Once he went to work upstairs, I grew to not like this character. Luckily by the last episode I saw some of the old Max again. We’ll see what happens with this new season. 

10. Julie and the Phantoms: Julie and Luke

Julie and the Phantoms: I cannot talk highly enough of this show. It is amazing and everyone needs to be watching it. Of course, it was created by Kenny Ortega so need I say more...but there is so much more to appreciate too. The actors are fantastic and I love the characters they portray! I also can’t stop listening to the music. But this moment is for Julie and Luke, sorry, I should stop promoting the show :) It was very obvious that two members of the band should fall in love and with Julie and Luke both writing their own music and being passionate about their craft it became a no-brainer that they should end up catching feelings for one another. Of course, there’s the major hurtle that he’s a ghost, but we can figure that out in season 2. Luke is obviously the better pick for Julie (Nick who?). They are just so adorable together and I can’t get over that moment when he talks to her at school by her locker and she pretends to talk on her phone. The way they look at each other says it all. (Such great acting!) Then there’s Edge of Great and Luke’s guitar solo. OH! They’re so meant for each other. While no season 2 announcement has been realized yet, there’s no way this show does not get renewed. 

9. The 100: Murphy and Emori

Okay, so I know this sounds hypocritical that I said I won’t think the last season of the 100 exists and here are Murphy and Emori. But in my defense they are the best part of this season and my love for them as a couple really came to a head this season. Murphy had so much character growth and I was fearing for his life almost every episode. Same went for Emori especially after her accident I didn’t feel positive. These two (along with Raven) were the shining beacon in a very disappointing and confusing season. I love how close they are and how strong they make each other. They have been through so much and it was nice to see them so happy (despite everything going on). You just knew they’d always have each other’s backs no matter what. 

8. Violetta: Fran and Diego

I feel like I would do anything for this ship and I have so many more episodes of season 3 to go. (So that’s saying something.) Another Violetta ship, but arguably the best and one that I know is endgame because I grew so obsessed that I started searching for spoilers early on. (That’s how you know it’s bad. Especially when you’re watching YouTube videos without subtitles, so you have no idea what they’re saying, but they look happy and therefore you are happy.) Fran and Diego only got together in the third and finale season of Violetta. Previously, they were a part of different romances (Diego a major one with Violetta), but at the start of this season they are put together in a lot of situations and quickly grow a strong relationship. You can feel the chemistry instantly! They just fit each other so well. Their singing voices together-OMG! While it took FOREVER for their relationship to be public knowledge, I really haven’t had any other problems with them together. (And with 80 episodes it could easily be the case.) A positive of having more than 30 episodes to go: I have more opportunity to fall even more in love with these two. 

7. Sanditon: Esther and Babington

I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH! I watched Sanditon so long ago that my memory could get fuzzy, but one thing that stands out clearly is how great it was watching Esther and Babington get together. When thinking about this show people will probably immediately think of Sidney and Charlotte and while they are great and the central couple of the series, these two have my heart. Esther has SO MUCH character growth and development and Babington is a big influence on that. He helps her to see that she can be so much more than what she currently is doing and gets her away from her brother and that lifestyle. For a bit it was touch and go and I wasn’t sure if the two would be endgame, but luckily they were. It appeared to be a marriage out of friendship/necessity. Babington is fine with loving Esther more and hoping she’ll grow to love him. This quickly changes with a scene where we see the two looking very much in love. While this show only used Jane Austen’s unfinished novel as a stepping stone and became a lot more modern (than most fans liked), I thought it did a nice job with several aspects. The main one being Esther’s character. It is a show that I will definitely be re-watching and will always be upset that it did not get a second season. 

6. Legends of Tomorrow: Ava and Sara

A great ship since Ava was introduced. These two balance each other out so well and are one of the most constant ships on the show. (As the Waverider’s doors continue to be revolving in recent seasons.) Each season we watch their relationship deepen and I truly felt that with this most recent season of Legends. Now this might sound super ironic, because from what I can remember (remember 2020 brain, it’s been a while since watching), Sara was off the Waverider a lot, leaving Ava in charge. Sara was away for so many episodes that I started to question (and do a lot of Google searching) if she was leaving the show. Despite the two being a part, I feel we got to know Ava’s character more. She has definitely grown since we first met her all those seasons ago. Due to this development, I felt this couple deserved this spot on the list. When we got to the end of last season ***SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS*** and it looked like Sara (and actually all the Legends) might die, my heart broke for them. Ava and Sara deserve the world. And with the way the finale ended it’s going to be some time till they get it. Once again, Legends is the best CW Superhero show (I said it) and everyone should be watching it.

5. The Spanish Princess: Mary Tudor and Charlie Brandon 

This ship is so underappreciated and deserves to be talked about more!!! (Another common thread in many of these entries.) I have searched for Tumblr posts and YouTube videos and have only found a few dedicated to this couple. There needs to be more!! As the second season of the Spanish Princess dragged for me a bit, once Mary Tudor and Charlie Brandon got more screen time and a plot-line I was instantly sucked in. They nicely balanced the falling out of love of Katherine and Harry. There should have been more scenes with Mary and Charlie. Right away, you could feel some sort of chemistry, but Mary had to be married to the King of France. Then the King dies and she’s promised to pick a marriage of love for her second marriage. Knowing her brother and expecting that she will be married off again she marries the messenger come to get her from France, Charlie Brandon. Super intrigued by their story I looked up the history of the real Mary and Charlie Brandon and their story matches very closely. They got married despite the King’s rules and had many children together. It seems to be a marriage of love like she wanted. This couple will forever be one of my favorites. 

They are also one of my major reasons for wanting to watch the Tudors. While they completely change the Mary and Charles romance (Firstly by naming her Margaret), at least it was very easy to watch. As Charles Brandon is played by the beautiful Henry Cavill. 

4. The Outpost: Talon and Garret

Speaking of underappreciated ships (and TV shows), I present Talon and Garret from CW’s The Outpost. It was SO HARD for me to find a picture from the third (and latest season) of them to put with this post. It’s even hard to watch any scenes of the show on YouTube. Talon and Garret FINALLY got together this season and it was ABOUT TIME! Since season 1 you have felt the tension between these two, but there were always obstacles and people in between them. There seemed to be potential in the first season and by the start of third I was not holding out hope anymore that they would be together. So, it was such a joyous occasion when they became endgame (is that too soon to say? I have no idea if there’s another season on the horizon). This couple solidified my love for a WARRIOR romance. One where, despite being two different genders (and for this show species), both partners are equal in strength and fighting ability. (Well, Talon could take Garret, but they are such a powerful duo!) I now want to read and watch more romances/ships with this trope. [Please let me know if you have any suggestions.] Just talking about them, I can’t help but smile (almost as big as Garret when he saw Talon again before she left for another mission). At the end of the season they might have tried to make it seem like they would pick other partners and I’m so glad they didn’t. You seriously need to watch this show if any of the above sounded appealing/you like high fantasy and maybe a little CGI cheesiest. 

3. The Society: Grizz and Sam

It breaks my heart talking about this ship ever since Netflix released that they were taking back the second season renewal of The Society. I started watching the Society during quarantine (shocking I know), but I do remember a lot from my time watching (more shocking, right?). Hands down the best couple from this show was Grizz and Sam. They weren’t introduced right away and again I might have cheated when I suspected the two might get together, so I looked up some spoilers. (Honestly, that’s the best sign of a ship in my book. If I can’t wait and need to look up spoilers then your show has a good thing going.) Individually Grizz and Sam were my favorite characters and then pairing them together I was dead. So many amazing moments with them. Naturally we didn’t get enough and I will continue to watch fan videos (because there are so many). They are precious and I’m so glad we got some closure at the end of the season because if we didn’t this cancellation would have been even harder. 

2. Nancy Drew: Nancy and Ace

Okay, I’ll try to keep this brief because I know I’ve talked about this couple A LOT on this page in 2020 (but that might be difficult FYI). From an honorable mention thought last year to #2 this year-THAT’S HUGE! But they deserve it, even if they haven’t officially become a couple on the show...well not yet. Early on in the first season I felt a pull between these two characters, which is super ironic seeing as how they had few scenes together and were a part of two different romances. (I mean Nancy had two different love interests.) I thought I was just imagining things (as I do often pair people who barely share plots), but then episode 14 happened and I was sold. Then I came onto Tumblr and discovered the amount of people that felt it too and knew we had something. Shout out to all the other blogs that mention Nace or are made just to honor this amazing duo. I know they will be endgame too and value all your posts that I’m constantly liking and looking for. 

Again, there’s so much I could talk about, but I’ll focus on how much they trust and listen to one another. (I mean Ace drank that stuff because he trusted Nancy!!!) I love how they get paired up on cases and go into investigator mode. They speak SO CLOSE to one another and just all the looks! If we don’t get more moments in the second season I don’t know how I’ll survive. They are just so perfect and I could easily see them become number 1 next year. I cannot wait for the start of season 2 on Jan. 20th!! For now I’ll fast forward through old episodes and watch my favorite moments. Like these:

AND NUMBER ONE.... DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

1. Anne with an E: Anne and Gilbert

Now I know what you’re thinking...’Stephanie, didn’t you pick Shirbert last year too?’ Why, yes that is true. But back then I had only watched seasons 1 and 2 with some spoiler videos of season 3. The release hadn’t come to Netflix yet. Since then, I have watched the last season (and the show as a whole multiple times). It’s just so good and watching the growth of the characters (not only Shirbert) means so much more when you can watch the episodes back to back. But we’re here for Shirbert and how we watched them rise. Yes, it departed from the novel, but I love the twists and turns it took getting to endgame. So many looks and unspoken feelings. I thought it was great how Anne discovered her feelings. I hated Winifred, but understood her purpose. Anne and Gilbert will always be one of my top OTPs no matter which adaptation. Of course, the book will always be the tops, but so many great representations of it have been done on screen. Ultimate enemies to friends to lovers. I hope to one day create characters that could be so strong and beloved. 

#top ships 2020 #bellarke forever #anne with an e #violetta #leonetta #hosie #will x angie #emma and knightley #zutara #max x zoey #zomax #jatp #juke #The 100 #memori #murphy x emori #francesca x diego #diecesca #Sanditon #esther and babington #ava and sara #the spanish princess #mary tudor and charlie brandon #the outpost cw #talon x garret #the society #grizzam #nancy drew cw #nancy x ace #shirbert

[ohoshi]

get to know me tag ♥

tagged by @soonhoonsol (thank you chey<33 i enjoyed doing it adghhs)

tagging: @njaems @kdongyoung @hoshisms @soonshuas @wonwoosjeon @soonwnu @shuaway @jonghan @xuseokgyu @hwiyoungies (and yk if you did this... ignore<3)

What day is your birthday?

may 1st international worker's day following chey's patterns ajdhgajsdhgash

What is your favorite color?

blue and purple and pink and yellow ajgshdahgsdjahgsdjh idk i like all the colors especially pastels!!!

What’s your lucky number?

8

Do you have any pets?

2 dogs!!!

How tall are you?

159cm, 5.2ft i'm actually short af for where i live lol i was the shortest person in hs and everyone was mocking me for it?????

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

5 without heels djashgahsgdh

Favorite song?

i don't have a favorite song<3 i can never choose just one :p

Favorite movie?

i don't have a fav movie akjdsgahgds

Who would be your ideal partner?

male lead from weightlifting fairy kim bokjoo,,,, yes,,,, literally jung joonhyung ajsgdashh :/ sigh 😔

Do you want children?

yes sometimes in the future kjadkjadsh

Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

no!!

Baths or showers?

showers!!!

What color socks are you wearing?

grey rn ahdgsajdshg they're usually black/grey/white lol

What type of music do you like?

everything,,,, no joke i listen to a bit of everything

How many pillows do you sleep with?

2 pillows and a lot of plushies ajdhgajhdgash

What position do you usually sleep in?

side

What you don’t like when you are sleeping?

bright lights and noise <- just like chey ajdghasjdh

What do you typically have for breakfast?

coffeeeeee 🤟🏼 <- SAME AJDSHGAJHG

Have you ever tried archery?

omg no i have never BUT I ALWAYS WANTED TO JAGDSAGD young cora wanted to try it out, she liked it so much but the only archery club was too far from my town so 🤪

Favorite fruit?

omg i love all the fruits!!!! so it always changes depending on the season (yk early summer/late spring it's cherries, fall is for apples and grapes, winter for clementine!!!) currently nectarines<3

Favorite swear word?

f*ck? but i usually only swear in my native language (cause english sucks when it comes to swear words tbh) and only when i'm furious ajdgasjhdgas

Do you have any scars?

i have one ajshdgha i had a surgery when i was younger bc i danced too much on a daily basis ?????? wtf

Are you a good liar?

no<3 i can't lie

What is your personality type

infj

What is your favorite type of girls?

all the girls<3 !!!!!!!!!!!

Are you an innie or an outie?

akhDGKHGADFKHAGF scream,,,, innie

Left or right handed

right!

Favorite food?

italian <3

Favorite foreign food?

well..... i'm not italian so italian food is technically foreign to me so,,,,,,, italian<3

Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

Most used phrase?

'ahsdgahs' and for the past few days 'i hate him' (him = hoshi btw)

How long does it take for you to get ready?

30 minutes? i don't do much lol

Do you talk to yourself?

all the time

Do you sing to yourself?

all the time

Are you a good singer?

i think i'm decent???? i mean i was in a choir for 5 years so i guess,,,,, i'm decent???

Biggest Fear?

HEIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you a gossip?

no

Do you like long or short hair?

on me? long, on other people? both

Favorite school subject?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i used to love history the most

Extrovert or Introvert?

introvert

What makes you nervous?

thoughts about the future 🤪

Who was your first real crush?

dude i don't remember??? i think it was this guy in middle school,,, he's a 98 liner and he was a basketball player??? we were in drama club together lmao edit: i just remembered we were preparing this play bc greek ambassador was visiting and he played homer the blind poet?? and i was his muse???? LMAO

How many piercings do you have?

just 2 on my ears

How fast can you run?

omg idk?? i haven't done these since high school

What color is your hair?

lighter brown with red highlights lmao

What color are your eyes?

light brown/dark yellow, just yellow on the sun

What makes you angry?

liars, hypocrites, <- just like chey and i'd add ignorant and close minded people

Do you like your own name?

OMG I USED TO HATE IT AJSDGASJH when i was younger nobody was allowed to call me by my name ajshdgajdsh now i don't hate it so much since the meaning fits me perfectly lol

Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

both<3

What are you strengths?

my positivity and ability to cheer anyone up!!!!!!

What are your weaknesses?

weaknesses??????? what are those

Color of your bedspread?

pink 😳

Color of your room?

pastel maroon

#THIS WAS FUN LMAO #thank u again chey<3 #tag games

[fluorescencefuture]

Homestuck^2: How I’d write the Omega Kids (and the Candy timeline villains)

I haven't reread Homestuck nor the epilogues in a while so correct me if I'm wrong with anything here. This was all in one go, too, so I probably missed something here or there. I'm also not a native English speaker so pardon some grammar errors.

In General

I’d give them a five-letter name scheme. Names of a group being the same length was a big deal in original HS (human first names had four letters, troll names had six, Ancestors had eight-letter titles, Cherubs had eight letters too, etc.), so it’s odd seeing this new group have names of varying length

I’d also give them all shirt symbols. It’s odd that something so iconic to Homestuck isn’t present in the new kids, either.

I'll write for both the canon post-canon with evil Jane and for my own version with different villains. Evil Jane happens because a highblood troll who hears of the old ways of Alternia attempts to kill her and take her crown, as she's technically the heiress. Jane wins, but she starts to see trolls and Alternian culture in a different light from then on. At first she was only trying to prevent the worst parts of Alternian culture from coming back, but over time grew to despise trolls, and ended up trying to force human culture onto Alternians.

The other Candy villains are a dangerous terrorist rebel group that wants to overthrow the creators and destroy them. They say the creators made the people, abandoned the people for years, then suddenly came back and decided they control the people. The group is made of humans, trolls, carapacians, and even consorts. The mysterious shadowed leader claims to be doing this for the people, but really, all they want is to have control for themselves, and they don't care if any innocents get in the way.

Harry Anderson

Has nothing to fix, he’s perfect as is

Okay but seriously, the guy is the kid with the least questionable things around him. He has no baggage from sharing the same name as an established character (ICP Harry Anderson doesn’t count), and he didn’t come from infidelity.

He also has actual color to his personality. He likes musicals and sewing. He has a good relationship with his dad. Like many kids with divorced parents, he wishes his parents were together again. What do the others have? Vrissy is just a slightly less aggressive Vriska. Tavros is just OG Tavros and Jake combined. Yiffy’s thing is being a dog girl named Yiffany Longstocking. The others could be fleshed out eventually, but with the slow pace and meandering plot we have right now, I doubt it.

If Jane's the villain, things would mostly go the same way. If Jane isn't the villain, it goes two ways: he decides to join Vrissy's guerilla anti-anti-creator group and fight because he wants to protect his parents, or he's just very anti-conflict and avoids the fight because he doesn't think he's up to it. He's frequently threatened but doesn't tell his parents about the threats. Eventually, he gets convinced to join and fight.

Vrissy

So Vrissy’s in relationships with guys who are technically her cousins. At first I was like “well, they’re not biologically related nor were they raised as family so it’s not weird”. But then Tavros called Kanaya “Aunt Kanaya” and now I’m thinking “oh god, that’s really weird”.

Now she’s just a troll girl from school. She's just close to Kanaya and Rose, but isn’t their kid. She isn’t related to anyone. Anyone except Vriska, who she was named after. Vrissy’s new nickname is just Vriss.

Alternatively, her name is something completely different. Honestly, it just seemed like a way to shoehorn in a Vriska for the story. Only for actual Vriska to come back anyway.

Uhh, Eshtha (from Jyeshtha, a Hindu nakshatra Scorpius is associated with)? Oriona (from Orion, the myth where Scorpius is mostly attributed to)? Naiaka (from Manaiakalani, as Hawaiians saw Scorpius as the demigod Maui’s fishhook)? Oh wait, I’ll have to make nicknames for those names too. Uh, Eshty, Riona, and Naiah.

Maybe have her have a personality that’s rather opposite to Vriska’s than have her as Vriska 2. She's more a perky goth, more cheerful and sweet. More "I knew you could do it!" than "So you can do something after all." A beast in battle, of course. She doesn't like to use her mind control powers, because she finds them disturbing.

If Vriska had to come back, the conflict would come from their conflicting personalities. Vriska would pretty much act the same way she did to (Vriska), but this time, Vriss doesn't take any of it and stands her ground.

Whether the villain is Jane or not, she's the one who decides to fight back, and she gets her friends and others to join her. The creators have been nothing but good to her, and she cares about them a lot, especially Rose and Kanaya. Not to mention they're also her friends' parents.

Tavros

Yeah, we’re gonna have to rename that kid. It never made sense to me why Jake and Jane named their kid after some guy they don’t know that well. I don’t remember everything from the Epilogues, but I’ll assume the reason was Gamzee or something. Also weird that Jane, who’s supposed to be racist to trolls, would just...let her kid be named after one.

Something old-ish would work. Flynn? Silas? Avery? Clyde? Niles? Louie?

He's moirails with this Vriss instead of kismeses. The Vrissy/Tavros kismesis also felt like re-hashing the kismesis that Vriska and OG Tavros kinda had.

If we went post-canon villain Jane, he'd be reluctant to join the rebellion and is more of a pacifist who would rather try to talk his mom out of it.

Alternatively, Jane and Jake are separated (but not divorced) and he lives with Jake. Because Jane was never terrible to him and Jake doesn't tell him how bad she's gotten, he disagrees with her but still tries to justify and rationalize that Jane's really doing it from a place of good intentions.

If the villain isn't Jane, then Jane and Jake have been hiding him away, and his friends can only see him when they visit him at his swanky home. You might say he's...housetrapped. He joins because his friends are in it, and doesn't quite grasp how serious things are until the rebels try to kill Jane (the rebels try to kill Jane first because you always kill the healer first).

He's in contact with a mysterious guide who's kinda spacy and a little terrifying at times. His friends think the guide might just be some creepy predator. It's revealed to be Candy Gamzee, out of the fridge and legitimately harmless, but untraceable and doing mysterious things behind the black. Again.

Come to think of it, Dirk's missing too...

Yiffany Longstocking

Yiffy is now the ectokid of Dave and Jade. She looks more like a DaveJade kid than JadeRose, really. Dave and Jade are also either happily married or coming close to an amicable divorce. Yeah, the toxic shit Jade did and the erasure of Dave's bisexuality also don't exist here. Jade, Dave, Karkat, and Terezi are backing Vrissy's anti-anti-creator group.

Her new name is something unisex. Riley? Logan? Robin? Sloan? Salem?

She spends a lot of time outside doing sports and doesn't talk much. She's not very close to the other three kids, but she's surprisingly pretty close to her Aunt Rose.

While Jade and Dave are out on a mission for Karkat (this is the mission Candy Dave dies), she gets kidnapped by the opposing force (Jane/the terrorists). She gets a shock collar forced on her, then is hidden away in a Boarding School for Inconvenient Girls, enrolled under the name "Yiffany Longstocking". Jade comes home to find that her family's been taken from her. Again.

Yiffy almost escapes, but she gets knocked out and taken back to base, where they lock her in a cage and treat her like a dog. She's still defiant to the end.

If Jane's the villain, Jake is inspired by Yiffy's defiance, grows some balls, exposes Yiffy's treatment to the press, and sets her free. She beats up the guards trying to stop her. Jake gets surrounded by more guards. In response, he pulls out his pistols and a one-liner, and bam, cliffhanger.

If it's the terrorist group, Terezi picks up on Yiffy's scent when they're in a base, and she's saved by the other three kids, where she immediately turns around and beats the crap out of the guards. They become proper friends from there.

The reunion panel still happens and this time it's her reuniting with her loving mother and aunt instead of...y'know.

BONUS: Sadstuck

Harry gets his own “im not a hero” speech after trying and “failing” to be the hero that John was

Vriss is eventually forced to use her mind control powers. It’s either a “Katara using bloodbending" situation, or she forces her friends to leave her behind when they want to stick by her.

Tavros finally witnesses his mother’s true nature when Jake defeats all the guards, but is stabbed from behind by Jane and killed. In the other version, it seems Jane is finally safe and able to come home to her son. Then she’s killed right in front of him.

After the big hug with Jade and Rose, Yiffy pulls away. She smiles, looks around behind them, and asks “Where’s Dad?”

So, please tell me what you think!

#Homestuck 2 #HS2 #hs^2 #vrissy maryam lalonde #harry anderson egbert #tavros english #yiffany longstocking lalonde harley #yiffany lalonde harley #my writing

[kpoprp-multi]

the plot/au list

The following list of Genres shows you what kind of things I rp usually:

✔️= What I can do with you as an rp

❌= What I’m uncomfortable to rp as

➖= I would like to test it out on rare occasions

Credit: @thisisnoteuropeanstyle and the other writing prompt people I’ve copied and pasted from… thanks for that and the fact that it’s made publicly available for everyone to see, you’re the best!

(1)Al Invasion AU [❌]

(2)Al Human AU [ ➖ ]

(3)Alp/Beta/Omega AU [✔️]

(4)Andro AU [➖]

(5)Angel/Demon AU [✔️]

(6)Arranged Marriage AU [ ➖ ]

(7)Baby AU [ ❌ ]

(8)Bakery AU [✔️]

(9)Badboy(girl) meets Social awkward girl(boy) with a roasting problem AU[❌]

(10)Bookstore AU [✔️]

(11)Business AU [✔️]

(12)Coffee Shop AU [✔️]

(13)Crime AU [✔️]

(14)Darkside AU [✔️]

(15)Desert island AU [ ➖ ]

(16)Dystopian AU [✔️]

(17)Fairy Tail AU[✔️]

(18)Fantasy AU [✔️]

(19)Flower Shop AU [✔️]

(20)Genderswap AU [✔️]

(21)Hanahaki Disease AU [➖]

(22)Harem AU – Or Reverse Harem AU [❌]

(23)Haunted House AU [✔️]

(24)High School/College AU [hs ❌ /cl ✔️]

(25)Hogwarts AU [✔️]

(26)Hospital AU [➖]

(27)Hooker AU [➖]

(28)Hunger Games AU [ ➖ ]

(29) Hybrid AU[✔️]

(30)Ice Cream Shop AU [✔️]

(31)Law Enforcement/Military AU [❌]

(32)Mafia AU [✔️]

(33)Magic AU [✔️]

(34)Marriage Law AU [✔️]

(35)Master/Slave AU (Only if you’re over 18+) [➖]

(36)Merpeople AU/ Undersea AU[ ➖ ]

(37)Percy Jackson AU[✔️]

(38)The Red String/Soulmate AU [✔️]

(39)Anime AU [ ➖ ]

(40)Walking with my significant other and you but accidentally grabbed the wrong hand AU [✔️]

(41)Platonic living together AU[✔️]

(42)I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital AU[✔️]

(43)We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame AU[✔️]

(44)My new dealer has friended me on Facebook and I’m unsure of how to react to that AU[✔️]

(45)A hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date AU[✔️]

(46)Painter/Writer au[✔️]

(47)Fake Dating AU[✔️]

(48)We hate each other but we both have a mutual friend so we have to put up with each other AU[✔️]

(49)Don’t tell anyone you saw me crying AU[✔️]

(50)You’ve been sleeping at mine because your house is being renovated and we aren’t even dating, yet every time you wake up to the baby crying and sigh, “I’ll go” I feel like we might as well be married for real AU[ ➖ ]

(51)We are the only two parents who agreed to attend the school trip (bonus: “So I guess we share this hotel room?”)[ ➖ ]

(52)Single parents AU[❌]

(53)We’re at a concert and I can’t see a thing let me sit on your shoulders, maybe? AU[❌]

(54)You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting very suspicious AU[✔️]

(55)So I know we haven’t talked in like, two years, and that things ended pretty badly between us but WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN you’re engaged to be married AU[✔️]

(56)Look, I know we agreed to be friends and everything but that’s what everyone says when they break up. I can’t take you asking me for advice on how to ask out the new person you’re interested in, okay? it’s killing me AU[✔️]

(57)It´s my [insert family relation here]´s wedding and seeing all these happy couples is killing me and all I can think about is how this was almost us AU[ ➖ ]

(58)My current partner is a huge asshole and I need a reason to break up with them so will you pretend to be my possessive and violent ex AU[ ➖ ]

(59)One Night Stand before the first of your new job and oops that was your new boss you were sleeping with AU[ ➖ ]

(60)Pen pals who vent at each other every week AU[❌]

(61)Oops friend looks like the only place to sleep in this house is this small, twin-sized bed, guess we’ll have to share AU[✔️]

(62)We sat next to each other during a really sad film and now we’re sharing tissues silently whilst we cry at the cinema AU[❌]

(63)We take a dance class together and our next routine calls for partnerwork, and we got put togeth-STop standing on my foot! AU[✔️]

(64)We’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something AU[✔️]

(65)Date auction for charity AU[❌]

(66)Strangers who end up on the kiss cam at a sporting event AU[❌]

(67)Bored single parents at a [Insert band] concert” AU[❌]

(68)Parents signed them up for the same shitty art program AU[❌]

(69)Look I’m glad you have a healthy sex life and all but will you please try not to pierce a whole through my ceiling with your bed, thanks. AU[✔️]

(70)My cat and your dog are totally in love, and I think it’s so cute until I realise that it’s your pet, because we kind of hate each other AU[✔️]

(71)Your mail keeps coming to my address which is really weird since they’re nothing alike, but it turns out our mutual friend who wants to set us up keeps switching the mail on purpose AU[✔️]

(72)I’m a waiter/waitress and you always sit in my section. I really like you and i thought you liked me back until you walked in here with a date, WHOOPS would you look at that I keep spilling stuff on them AU[✔️]

(73)That one asshole costumer that always comes in 5 minutes before the store is about to close AU[ ❌ ]

(74)We’re sitting next to each other on this plane and and I was eating gummies, but I left all the yellow and orange ones cause they’re absolute shit and now you’re asking if you can have them AU[✔️]

(75)My significant other just broke up with me and I impulse bought like 5 pizzas and a 3 floor cake. Can you help me eat them and make me feel less like shit? AU[✔️]

(76)We both got dragged to this concert for this shitty band by our significant others and we met in the crowd and spend the entire gig talking about better music and making fun of the shitty band AU[✔️]

(77)We’re both at this restaurant to meet blind dates, but we meet each other thinking that the other person is the blind date we were supposed to be meeting AU[✔️]

(78)You’re famous and I was hired by your management to date you for public appearances, but now I’m kinda into you cause you’re actually a really cool person, but you don’t give a shit about me AU[ ✔️ ]

(79)You’ve locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so I’ll let you into mine AU[✔️]

(80)Your grandma is really forward even though I swear we’re just friends AU[❌]

(81)I got the fake number from your friend and started texting you, thinking it was them but you’re too sweet to me that you continue on with this lie just to make me happy[✔️]

Note: You can use up to 4 AUs in our private chat, nothing more and as long as they fit in well together.

AU= Alternative Universe

This is for you guys who sometimes don’t know what you wanna do for a rp! 💖

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #458

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name”

What does your doormat say? I... actually am not sure. I don't pay any attention. What do you order from most sit down restaurants? Chicken tenders are my go-to safe option, ha ha. Or shrimp. Who was the last person you talked about love/relationships with? Sara. I wanted her advice. Where was the last place you thought about having sex, other than your bed? This was way too long ago, dude. Do you remember the last time you went against someone’s advice? Very recently. :x What day would you consider the best day of your life? Why? Idk, really. Would you say you’re too experienced or too unexperienced for your age? I am embarrassingly unexperienced. What is your favorite neon color? Ever buy nail polish that color? Hot pink. I don't care for nail polish. Has anyone ever mistaken you to be a member of the opposite sex? No. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? Uhhhh... What was the last charity/cause you donated to? Children With Hair Loss, when I cut a shitload of my hair off for the style I have now. Getting that certificate that my hair was used is to this day one of the warmest feelings I've ever experienced. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara. What is something you know very little about? Economics. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. I lost Jason. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, three of my siblings (all have since gotten remarried and are very happy<3), and I'm sure more distant relatives, too. Does your family go ‘all out’ during the holidays? No. How often in a year do you go to the mall to get new clothes? Pretty much never. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? What was your reaction? Someone on Facebook when I updated my profile pic, probably. I was very flattered, of course. As someone with a SHIT self-image, it means a lot to me. Do you ever get paranoid about who your significant other hangs out with? I'm single, but hypothetically, nope. Did you ever call any teachers by their first name? Who? Some, but only because they preferred it. I don't remember all of them, other than it was common in college. Do you blow-dry, towel-dry or air-dry your hair? Towel-dry and best I can first, then let it air-dry. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? ... One of the reasons I chose to go to actual school instead of homeschooling when I started HS was because I liked the thought of making actual friends and maybe being a guitarist if any wanted to start bands lmao. What is your favorite flavor of gum? Watermelon, probs. Are you a good leader? lol no Would you ever go bear hunting? I'm strictly opposed to hunting for sport, but even if I wasn't, I would NOT be going after bears. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? Wow, no. Have you ever won money by entering a contest/raffle? No. Who is your favorite philosopher? I don't have one. What restaurant would you choose to go to for breakfast? I'm a v basic bitch and love me some Waffle House lmfao. How much money do you think you cost your parents? I. Don't. Want. To. Know. With so much medical stuff... holy shit. Do you eat any meat other than turkey on Thanksgiving? I eat spiral ham, because I don't like turkey in that form. Does your cat give you kitty kisses? Yes. :') Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Close, no. My mom was a close call, though... Her cancer was very, very close to being stage 4. Have you ever been to a waterpark? Yeah, as a kiddo. Describe the person you like/love in one word: Hilarious. Do you enjoy creative writing? Hell yeah man. If so, what things do you like writing about the most? Meerkats in a fantasy setting. Do you own any windchimes? Yes. Mom has one, I believe. Have you ever been known for something extremely negative? No. Would you say you’ve made a lot of people proud? Hell no. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone for over a year? Twice. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? I think I've made that abundantly obvious in the past few surveys lmao. Does your birth name mean anything in another language or sense? It just means "of Britain." I wish my name had better meaning, lol. What is your favorite desert? THE KALAHARI because MEERKATS!!!!!!!!!!! :') Have you ever been called a good kisser? Well not directly, but no one's ever complained? Have you ever stepped on a bee? No. Who is your newest friend? Hmmm... I haven't made a new friend in a very long time. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. I'm an RPer. The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? That I wish I was NEARLY as hot as her lmao. What do you like about your birthday? We go out to eat wherever I want, yum. The person you’re thinking about - what are you thinking about them? That he needs to mESSAGE ME BACK Are you currently sick at all? No. Has anyone ever asked for your autograph? Er, no. What’s one subject that makes you feel uncomfortable? Sex. Who did you last send a friend request to? Idk. What candy makes your face pucker? None that I've tried. I handle sour treats very well. Do you believe that the number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you know any marines? Jason's dad was one. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. :') Do you know anyone who does a lot of pills? I guess me, but they're prescription pills, and I don't abuse them. Mom has a lot, too. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this rapper? Eminem. Either "Love the Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? No. Have you ever had the cops called on you? For what? Nope. What race do you see the most in your neighborhood? African American. Have you ever walked in on someone accidentally while they were nude? No, I don't think so. Have you ever wanted to get your monroe pierced? Nah, it'd look weird on me. Do you own anything that involves Betty Boop? Nope. Can you remember the last song you listened to? Yeah; I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of Linkin Park's "Bleed It Out" right now. What is your favourite flavour of Skittles? The sour ones!! Red was always my favorite. Who taught you how to ride a bike? My dad. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Girt. Jason is a very close second, but Girt... he saw me at rock fucking bottom. He just showed up at the hospital unannounced after my suicide attempt (he knew because yay for writing a stupid fucking suicide note on Facebook) to help comfort me. He saw me dead to the fucking world and just done with everything. When’s the last time you were on the phone after 2 AM? Wow... probably not since a few days before the aforementioned suicide attempt and I called Jason's landline, desperate to talk to him. His mom picked up and talked to me for like two whole fucking hours. I'm tearing up pretty bad just remembering it, seeing as she's dead now... She cared for me so much. I miss her so, so much. Enough of this question, I'm about to start sobbing. :x What would you do if your best friend got an abortion? Honestly? Be relieved. I really don't think her body could handle pregnancy. What would you do if your father left your mother? That happened, and I hated him for years. What would you do if your bf/gf’s face became mutilated in an accident? Love them all the same. I don't care about appearances. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen in your life? *shrug* Have you ever dated two different people with the same name? No. That would be so weird. What are you deathly afraid of? Pregnancy. Internal parasites. Which unborn babies technically are. Do you know anyone who’s addicted to drugs and, if so, are you friends with them? I know many potheads, and one I'm pretty close with. Have you ever owned a golf cart before and, if so, what color was it? No. Do you have a sibling who’s a complete deadbeat and, if so, which sibling is it? Definitely not. All my siblings are hard workers that have dreams and aspirations they're either working towards or have achieved. Do you own the new Guitar Hero and, if so, what’s your favorite song on it? I have no clue what the newest one is. My favorite song to play in any of the games though is The Eagles' "Hotel California." It just feels good to play, and the ending solo fuckin' slams. Have you ever done anything dangerous enough to have risked your life? An overdose on cold medicine. What was the most length you’ve ever cut off your hair and why did you cut it? 8+ inches because I no longer wanted long hair. Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening and, if so, which one? No.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''ordinary man'' by ozzy osbourne

[thelivebookproject]

Talking Books With @touka-the-fallen-angel!

[What is this and how can I participate?]

Important note: I haven’t changed or edited any of the answers. I’ve only formatted the book titles so they were clearer, but nothing else. Because I’m incapable of shutting up, my comments are between brackets and in italics, so you can distinguish them clearly.

----------------------------------------------------------

[Image description: a square titled “Know the blogger”. Name & pronouns: Touka, she/her; country: United States; three adjectives to describe her: curious, empathetic & determined /end]

1. What is a book that surprised you (for good)?

A book that really surprised me in a good way was The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I was forced to read The Great Gatsby like every other hs student in the US and I didn't really like it to be honest. I understood the message of the book, but it was too knee deep in nostalgia for the south and the era to feel like a relatable work. So when I was recomended another book from this same author I internally prepared myself to be driven crazy by more nostalgia bait and overly descriptive drinks. Instead The Beautiful and Damned was an amazing take on the obsession with image and how it ties into class. I found it especially interesting, because this was done with two protagonists with their own tribulations. More interesting is that the main protags are said (through word of mouth) to be based on Fitzegerald and Zelda, his wife, which if true would be pretty cool.

[Oh, that’s good to know! I also didn’t like The Great Gatsby (and I’ve read it twice), so I’ll keep this book in mind!]

2. Last book quote you loved?

"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself." - The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

3. Do you prefer fantasy, sci-fi, or both?

Both. 

4. Is there a book that everyone loved except you?

Twilight XD. Everyone was into Twilight when I was in middle school and I tried to get into it. I couldn't.  So I had to pretend that I read all of Twilight for the rest of my middle school career.

[I have to agree! I read Twilight (the first book, I mean) just to be able to criticize it properly so I was also NOT into it. But I have to admit it was very easy and very fast to read so hey, whatever floats people’s boats!]

5. Is there a publishing house you especially like or you don't even notice these things?

I especially like penguin books. Their classic edition books have saved me a lot of money and their anniversary short story collection still provides me with hours of entertainment.

Free space!

Reading books outside of one's own culture is a must, because it helps to expand the worldview. Many usually stay with the literary cultures that they were introduced to in school and that is understandable. However, there are so many different styles of writing and frames of references from other countries that are not taught in the usual school setting. A few book reqs for the budding international reader:

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez 

Rashomon and Seventeen Other Stories by Ryunosuke Akutagawa

No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai 

The Plague by Albert Camus

[Agreed, reading outside one’s culture is a must, so here is my obligatory post on why it’s important to read translations]

You can follow her at @touka-the-fallen-angel.

-----------------------------------------

Thank you, Touka! This was quite interesting.

Next interview: Wednesday, 30th of December

#talking books with #booklr #december 2020 #thelivebookproject

[bbugyu]

my happiness + lee jihoon

even in this maze-like world, jihoon made you feel a little less lost

wc.4563 | fluff, uni/hs au, gender neutral reader, seungcheol is a protective bigbro

my friend ulted jihoon recently, so <3

If there was one way to describe your brother, it was protective. You were always his baby growing up - an annoying little sibling, but he was the only one allowed to beat you up. When your neighbor made you cry when you were six, a ten year old Seungcheol went marching over to him at the park near your apartment complex and kicked over his sand castle. In hindsight, he might have been a bit of a bully, but only when other people hurt you first, and you had always been grateful for it as a child.

Now, though, it scared you. Because you had a boyfriend. And Seungcheol didn’t know.

Seungcheol had gone off to college, getting an education doing what he loved with a ton of friends. He lived in an apartment an hour bus ride away from your family home, where you spent the week in high school. 

On the weekends, though, you had free reign. And most weekends, you took that hour bus ride to spend a couple nights on the couch in his living room. In the beginning, it had been because adjusting to him being gone was hard for you. For the first 18 years of your life, you had spent the evenings playfully fighting with your older brother as your mom yelled for you to sit your asses down and eat. Now, you sat at the table and shoved your food around the plate, feeling like an only child. Seungcheol knew this, and had opened the invitation - whenever you had a hard week, you were welcome, no questions asked. As long as there was a confirmation before you got on the bus, he would happily meet you at the bus stop and buy your favorite ramen and ice cream at the convenience store on the walk back to his place.

Now, though, you went just to hang out. His roommates were fantastic, a group of music-making friends Seungcheol had made in his course, not to mention the rotating cast of friends that would show up unannounced or to work on music. They were somehow just like him, yet simultaneously so different. You felt the same older brother vibe from Jeonghan that you did your actual brother. He took care of you, tossing you a tangerine when you were starting to get hangry, or sneakily adding your favorite songs to the music queue when you were pouting about something you didn't want to talk about. He lounged on the couch with a look on his face that made you wonder if his eyes ever opened fully, yet he noticed everything. Sometimes, when you were mad at Seungcheol for indescribable sibling reasons, Jeonghan would shoot you a message on kakao, and you would jokingly tell him he was better than your real brother. He always scolded you for thinking so, but it was his own fault for being so understanding.

Soonyoung and Seungcheol had the same way of expressing their passion, diving head first and only coming up for air when they were done. You had watched Soonyoung shove the small table in their apartment against the wall so that he could use the giant mirror leaning against the wall to bang out a detail in his choreographies more than once, and you recognized the look on his face as the one Cheol had as he wrote. He made you laugh the most often, always sacrificing his image to commit to a joke. The way he could transform from a striking performer into a grandma at a moments notice was maybe one of your favorite things anyone has ever done, but you refused to give him the ego boost by telling him, even if your uncontrollable laughter gave you away anyways.

And then there was Jihoon.

Jihoon was quiet and thoughtful, like your brother. He seemed to do better assessing the situation completely before inserting his opinion, which was always well considered and well explained. He leaned back in his roller chair, hand on his chin as he listened to the opinions of his room and bandmates, then somehow managed to have a suggestion that solved all their disagreements. He dressed comfortably at all times, but the clothes suited him well. You cursed him for being able to look put together while wearing sweats and sandals, all his platinum blonde hair tucked into a hat. At first, you wondered if he didn’t like you, considering how close you had gotten to the other two, but when you asked Seungcheol what his deal was, he just told you he’s shy around new people. That didn’t stop you from crushing on him. Hard.

More than once, he had looked over at you, catching your starry eyed gaze while he was working on a beat. You would always blush and look away, mortified by being caught practically drooling, but you noticed that when you stole another look, he was blushing too.

Seungcheol always grilled you about the boys at school. He always made you promise that you wouldn’t go on any dates with any of them before getting his approval, and you sighed and agreed, thinking specifically about how he had said “high school boys aren’t worth your time.”

Jihoon had been around for a couple of these conversations, and while he always stayed seated, facing his computer and away from you, you could see his fingers falter over the keyboard, his creative function pausing as he heard you insist to your brother that none of the guys at your school interested you.

One weekend, you were cramming for an exam, seated on the floor and laid out on the table at the apartment. Around 2 in the morning, Seungcheol told you to not stay up too late, told Jihoon that if he kept you up he would end up dead, then retired to his bedroom. You had yawned once in the half hour since then, and Jihoon immediately spun around in his chair, tearing off his headphones.

“I should let you sleep,” he said, saving his files. 

“No, no,” you insisted. “I’m gonna be up for at least another hour, don’t stop working for my sake.”

Jihoon pursed his lips, a habit you had noticed in the time you had known him. He nodded, acknowledging that he trusted your judgement and that he could keep working as he spun around slowly to resume. You watched his profile a moment, noticing the way his eyes scanned his screen while he was frozen, seemingly lost in his own brain versus processing what he was viewing.

“Can I hear what you’re working on?”

He blinked at you hard. “Hah?”

You giggled, trying to keep quiet, knowing his roommates were all asleep. “Can I listen? It might give me strength to keep studying.”

“I-I, uh-” Jihoon stuttered for a moment, clicking around on his screen. “Y-yeah, one second-”

Your lips pursed to hide the creeping smile on your face. Seungcheol had told you ages ago that Jihoon never went on dates. You had slept over at the apartment when Soonyoung had come home late after nights out, or Jeonghan not returning until morning. You had even stayed home a few weekends for the express reason of letting your brother go on dates without worrying about you being at his place alone. Jihoon, though. He was always home, either sleeping or working. You wondered if he even went to class. It was hard to imagine him anywhere but his desk in the living room.

You crawled over to the desk from you spot on the floor, and Jihoon stood up as you got near, gesturing for you to take his seat. As you sat, he handed you his headphones and kneeled, hand on his mouse as you put them on. He looked at you briefly to make sure they were on the right way, then hit the spacebar on his keyboard.

As the beat started, you immediately smiled and let out a small “ooh,” turning to Jihoon as he tried to look anywhere but at you. Your head bobbed as you listened to the cheerful beat. “I love it. What melody are you thinking?”

He cocked his head. “I haven’t gotten that far. Cheol already wrote a few bars, so I made it for that mostly, but I don’t have a hook yet.”

You nodded, humming a quiet accompanying melody absentmindedly.

“Oh,” Jihoon said, suddenly looking at you. “That’s good? That was really good. Hang on.” He paused the playback and grabbed the microphone, and you watched in shock. “Can you do that again?”

“I-I, me?” You gulped. “I’m not a singer, you should do it.”

“You came up with it, how am I supposed to know it?” He asked, clicking around quickly. You leaned back in the seat as his arms reached across you to access the keyboard better. “You should record it, quick, before you lose it.”

You stared at the microphone he put in your hand as he went back in the song to where you ad-libbed, still slightly shocked at the difference in Jihoon’s personality when he started entering producer mode.

“Ready? Just do it naturally. Whatever feels right.”

You looked at him, nodding. The music resumed in your ears, and you sang the melody you had hummed into the microphone with no real lyrics. When you finished what came to you, you pulled the microphone away from you, giggling suddenly. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Why, why?” Jihoon took the mic from you and smiled, after saving the recording. “You sounded good! The Choi siblings are talented.”

“No,” you groaned. “Seungcheol got all the musical talent.”

“Yah,” he furrowed his brow at you. “Are you saying I’m not a good judge?”

You laughed again. “No, no, I’m not!”

“It sounds like you think I don’t know a good voice when I hear it.”

“Stop!”

“Then admit you sounded good!”

You pouted at him, and he laughed. Your frown broke slightly, only to end in you giggling as he looked back at his screen, adjusting a couple things. You wanted to watch what he was doing, but you were lost in his profile. He gave you a sideways glance quickly, then again when he realized you were staring.

“What?”

You shook your head, but didn’t stop looking at him. “Nothing.”

This was the closest you had ever been to Jihoon, sitting in his chair with him beside you, and your heart felt like exploding just by the way he was looking at you.

Then you heard a door.

Jihoon stood suddenly, instinctively clearing his throat and focusing on the screen as you spun in the chair to see Jeonghan emerging from their shared bedroom.

He paused outside of the door, staring at the two of you, processing the scene he had just walked into. “What’s all this?”

You blinked, and Jihoon cleared his throat again.

Jeonghan sighed, grabbing his jacket off the back of the couch. “You guys are too obvious.”

“Where are you going?” You asked suddenly, remembering the hour.

He eyed you, knowing what you were thinking. “Nothing like that. My girlfriend just accidentally played Animal Crossing for ten hours straight and has an exam in six hours. I’m taking her to a cafe.”

You nodded slowly, remembering the girl you had met a few weeks before, then wondered what class has an exam at 9 on a Saturday. “Stay safe.”

“I should be saying that to you.”

“Hey,” Jihoon said, feeling accused. “What’s that mean?”

Jeonghan laughed as he grabbed his wallet and keys, shoving them into the pockets of his denim jacket. “You do know that Seungcheol will literally kill you if you make a move on his baby, right?”

You bit your cheek. Jihoon stuttered behind you.

“I’ll keep your secret,” he said, shoving his feet into a pair of vans. “But if you guys are this obvious in front of him, don’t blame me when he finds out.”

It had been a month since Jeonghan had called you both out for having feelings for each other. A month since Jihoon shyly admitted that he had liked you for a while, but hadn’t expected you to feel anything for him. A month since you, a blushing mess, said that you had a crush on him the second you met him. A month since he gently put a hand on your jaw and kissed you.

A month since you started avoiding your brother’s questions about boys. And he was starting to get annoyed.

“None, Y/N? Really? No guys?”

You rolled your eyes, pausing your note taking. “No, bro. Boys at my school are stupid.”

“What about outside of school?”

This was the first time Seungcheol had suggested that you might know people outside of your class, and your panic must have shown on your face by the way Jihoon snorted from behind Cheol. He spun around and looked at the younger. “What? Is it crazy to think that Y/N might know people outside of school?”

“No,” Jihoon said, straight faced. “I just don’t get why you’re so insistent on them having a boyfriend when you wouldn’t approve of any of them anyways.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek, refocusing on your textbook. “Can you guys shut up, I have a quiz on Monday.”

“You have all weekend,” Cheol said, grabbing your notebook as you protested. “Whats up, my precious little sibling. Why aren’t you dating? You’re graduating this year.”

“Because I have an oedipus complex and no one compares to my brother,” you said, trying to snatch your notebook back as Jihoon broke out into a laugh. “Can you leave me alone for one weekend?”

“If you want me to leave me alone you shouldn’t come to my apartment.”

You didn’t tell him you only came because you wanted to see your secret boyfriend, who just so happened to be his roommate.

Jihoon was good to you, you thought. If he woke up early enough, he would facetime with you during your lunch period at school while he walked to his first class, bleary eyed and swollen from sleep. You shoved your classmates away as they teased you for your older man and he would just laugh, rubbing his eyes in the afternoon sun. He’d send you pictures of random things all day, sometimes in class, or in the library. A book cover he thought you would like the design of. The way the clouds looked in the sunset when he was walking back to the apartment. You often got selfies of him pretending to be asleep during lectures. You would send pictures back of your sneakers while you walked home from school, or selfies you took with the mirror in your room. Every other afternoon, he would facetime you again after Seungcheol left for his afternoon class, and you would study while he messed around on his computer, letting you listen to his music making process.

Then, Friday afternoons, you would skip up the stairs to your family apartment and rush to pack an overnight bag, telling your mom you were headed to Seungcheol’s. She would tease you for spending more time there than at home, but was secretly glad that her kids were staying close. On the bus, you would switch your wallpaper back to an edit with lyrics to some Jonas Brothers song from the picture that Jihoon had sent you earlier that week. You texted both Jihoon and your brother, separately, letting them know you were on your way.

Your phone rang in your hand suddenly while you were watching Jihoon type on the other side of the conversation. Seungcheol. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, kiddo! Something came up and I can’t get you at the bus stop.”

You paused. “Okay?”

“So wait until later.”

You paused again, looking around the bus you were seated in. “No?”

“What do you mean, no?”

“Seungcheol, I’m not a little kid. I know where you live. Besides, I’m already on the bus.”

You rolled your eyes when you heard him groaning. “You’re so annoying. Okay, hang on.”

“You’re the one being annoying, bro-” you were cut off by the sound of a door opening and Cheol yelling a sustained “YAH!”

“Can you go get this stupid kid at the bus stop? By the 7eleven?”

“Bro, I’m not a stupid kid-”

“Okay I’m back. Jihoon says he’ll come meet you.”

You paused. “Fine.”

“Ah, you’re fine if it’s Jihoon but not me. I see how it is.”

You laughed. “What do you mean?”

“This kid,” he muttered teasingly. “Doesn’t even care that their big brother just wants to take care of them. Prefers the other brothers. I get it. I’m not hurt.”

“Shut up,” you laughed. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah whatever. Love you!”

“Love you, too.”

Then you sat, vibrating, on a bus for forty-five minutes. 

You stood by the back door as the bus stopped in front of the 7eleven, grinning when you saw Jihoon leaning against the wall, waving at you through the bus window. You hopped off and excitedly skipped towards him, making him laugh as he pushed off the wall.

“Hi,” you said, grinning.

“Hi,” he said back, quickly leaning into you for a kiss.

You really cherished the moments you could act how you wanted with Jihoon. You knew that if you let yourself get soft and sappy with Seungcheol around, it would be a dead giveaway, so you kept your normal attitude at the apartment. But, what you wanted to do was hook your arm into Jihoons, plant a kiss on his cheek, and happily tell him about your week as you walked. So that’s what you did.

Despite the fact that you had talked over facetime the day before, you still found something to tell him about, making him laugh when you imitated one of your classmates. He told you that he started a new song the night before, and you begged him to let you listen to it when you got home, but he said you had to wait until it was done.

Your fingers fit well between his, you thought, when he suddenly asked if you were hungry.

“Kinda,” you said, looking over to him. “You?”

He nodded, looking down the street at what was around. “I haven’t eaten yet today. Do you wanna go to the snack bar?”

You grinned, giving him a look. “Lee Jihoon, are you asking me out?”

He laughed, tugging your hand with his. “Shut up. Let’s go.”

You decided to let it slide that it was almost four in the afternoon and he hadn’t eaten yet, giggling as you got pulled down the street. You had always liked Jihoon, obviously, but you especially liked the Jihoon you had gotten to know. The one that was relaxed and laughed at every chance he got, rather than the shy and hesitant Jihoon you had met. Now that he wasn’t trying to hide his feelings from you, he had become a cooler, calmer version of himself when you were around, not just when he forgot you were sitting on the couch while him and the guys worked on a song. 

When you entered the snack bar that your group frequented often, you realized you had never eaten anywhere alone with Jihoon, much less there. It was starting to kind of feel like a real date, you thought, as he led you to a small table, looking over the menu when he sat despite probably having it memorized. You quickly got up and retrieved a pitcher of water for you both, asking him what sounded good.

“Everything,” he said, leaning back and stretching his shoulders. “What do you want? My treat.”

You bit your cheek, looking at the menu, despite also having it memorized. It really was starting to feel like a date. “Rabokki?”

“Oooh, I like it. With cheese?”

You scoffed, pouring the water for both of you. “Always with cheese.”

He laughed as he pulled the cap off a felt tip pen to mark out your order. “Do we want the fried rice at the end, too?”

“Wah,” you said, eyes wide. “I haven’t had that in so long. Are you hungry enough?”

He looked at you. “Are you being serious?”

You giggled, letting your hand find his free one beside the inset grill, fingers slipping between his. “Order it, then.”

He inhaled sharply, cocking his head at the menu. “Should we also get kimbap?”

“Jihoon, there’s only two of us.”

“And?”

He played around with the idea for a bit longer, making you laugh, but he decided against it so that he could justify ordering chicken for dinner. After the older woman that ran the place took the marked menu from Jihoon, he stared at you for a minute, then smiled.

You pouted, suddenly shy under his gaze. “What?”

“You’re really cute.”

You pulled your hand away from his and leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms. “Shut up.”

He laughed, leaning forward to pull your hand back. “Hey, hey! That’s mine. You can’t take it.”

“My hand?”

“No, mine.”

You held it up. “This one? The one attached to me?”

“Yeah, it’s mine. Give it back.”

You wished you didn’t blush so hard as you pouted and muttered a “fine,” letting him take it back and rest it on the table again. 

Then there was thunk on the window, making you both jump and look over, along with the few other patrons. Your eyes got big as your big brother pointed at you, a balled fist against the glass.

“Yah!” His voice was muted from through the glass, but his tone was obvious. You looked at Jihoon, then at your hands, and you both pulled away as soon as you realized, but it was way too late. You groaned and collapsed onto the table as Seungcheol marched to the entrance and entered the snack bar.

“What the hell! You didn’t tell me?”

Jihoon stood up, but stuttered. “H-hey, calm down, bro-”

“Y/N.”

You didn’t lift your head. “What.”

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“I’m sorry,” Jihoon interjected. “I asked them to not let you know. It’s my fault.”

“What?” Seungcheol stared at him. “Why? Why would you think I wouldn’t want to know about this?”

“Because you would have said I wasn’t good enough, and you’re right.”

That made you pop your head up, squinting at Jihoon. “What? No. That’s not true.”

“How can you judge?” Seungcheol asked, nodding at you. “You don’t have experience with guys. You barely even know him.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Oh my God, Seungcheol, I’ve known Jihoon for almost a year now. I probably know him better than you do. And I don’t need you telling me who’s worthy of my time.”

Seungcheol pouted at you, his brows giving away that he was more hurt than angry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You paused. “Are you serious?”

He exhaled, sitting in the extra chair at your table, completely ignoring the group of people he had been walking with that were now just standing outside of the restaurant. “How long?”

You eyed Jihoon, who quietly sat across from you. “About a month.”

Seungcheol clicked his tongue, as he looked around, concealing a curse and clearly annoyed that he hadn’t figured out sooner. “How serious?”

“I really like Y/N,” Jihoon said, pulling both of your attention. He adjusted his baseball cap, another habit of his you had noticed. “A lot. I would like it to be serious.”

You pursed your lips, trying to hide a smile. “Me too.”

“God, I hate this,” Seungcheol said, rubbing his face. “This sucks so much.”

You shoved his shoulder. “Why, why?”

“Because I want to beat up your boyfriend but I don’t want to beat up my producer.”

“Nice,” Jihoon deadpanned, looking at you with a raised fist in victory. “We found a loophole.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as Seungcheol groaned, pulling himself out of the chair. “Are you paying? You better be paying.”

Jihoon laughed, hands up in surrender. “I’m paying, I promise.”

“He already offered, Seungcheol, seriously. God, you’re so annoying.”

“I can’t believe I’m leaving you two here.”

“Are you?” You asked. “Because it seems a lot like you’re still here.”

“Oh, nice,” Jihoon raised a hand and you laughed as you high fived him. 

“I’ll kill you both if given the opportunity, I swear,” Seungcheol said, walking towards the door. “Take me seriously.”

“Of course, big brother! I love you!”

Jihoon made a heart with his arms and you held your face, trying to not snort at the way Seungcheol pointed and looked at him. 

“God, this sucks,” he repeated before opening the door, sounding completely defeated. "Oh my God the song you were writing yesterday-”

Jihoon cleared his throat. "Hey, bro, shut up."

You eyed Jihoon and he shook his head. Seungcheol leaned against the doorframe in anguish, still complaining about how much he hated the situation. You waved to him as he rejoined his friends, all of them slapping his back as he huffed. You exhaled deeply and looked at Jihoon. “Well, that went better than expected.”

He exhaled, nodding, rubbing his hands on his thighs. “I think I saw my life flash before my eyes.”

You giggled a moment, then paused. “Were you serious earlier?”

Jihoon looked at you, wide eyed. “About what?”

“That you don’t think you’re good enough.”

His tongue clicked and he inhaled, fidgeting with his hands. “I- yeah. Kinda?”

“Why?”

He shook his head. “I just don’t get you.”

You frowned. “What?”

“I don’t get how-” he paused, clearing his throat and straightening his spine. “I don’t understand it. You’re so funny and cute and smart, I’m sure people are asking you out at school all the time. Wouldn’t it be easier to have a boyfriend you could actually spend time with?”

“We do spend time together,” you said, thinking of all the video calls and the weekends hanging out.

“Not really,” Jihoon said. “Not like a couple.”

You faltered. “You mean like going out?”

He pursed his lips, clearly not sure how to express what was going on in his head with you pushing for an answer. “I guess? Don’t you think you should see your boyfriend more?”

“Yeah, of course,” you said, trying to get him to look at you again. “But only because you’re my boyfriend. I like you, Jihoon. I don’t wanna be with anyone else.”

He sniffed suddenly, a smile breaking through. He raised his eyebrows a bit, and you almost laughed at his playful look. “You don’t wanna be with anyone else?”

You giggled. “No. Only you.”

“Wow,” he said, putting his hands on the table. “No one, huh?”

“Shut up,” you said, recognizing his jokingly cocky tone.

“Wow, this feels good, huh?” He grinned, committing to the bit by speaking in dialect. “I like this feeling. Turns out, happiness isn’t just a word.”

Your eyes closed as you laughed. “You’re acting so weird, stop.”

He laughed with you while your pot arrived and the server turned on the burner. Jihoon immediately began breaking up the ramen, smiling sideways while you watched him.

“What?” He asked finally, wondering why you stared at him instead of the food.

You smiled. “I like you.”

He exhaled with a smile. “I like you, too.”

#LEE JIHOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i love that mf so much wow #also jeonghans gf is me idk if thats obvious enough #woozi #lee woozi #lee jihoon #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #woozi scenarios #woozi imagines #lee jihoon scenarios #lee jihoon imagines #i wrote dis #wooji #yes the song he wrote is simple shhhh

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[zhuilingyizhen]

High School AU (Part 1)

i’m a sucker for the junior trio so let’s goooo

Warning: use of “meanie head” is used in this. be warned.

-jin ling is bullied by jin chan. jin chan is a meanie head.

-he talks to a qing & ouyang zizhen of course but they just chill during lunch

-but then high school happens, and sadly, they end up going to different places. if jl had it his way, he would be with them, but his uncle makes him go to this other school.

-jin chan somehow becomes worse during high school, and no matter how many times jin ling tells him to F off, jin chan doesn’t stop.

-sadly, he can’t exactly do anything cause jin chan’s dad works for jiang cheng and jin ling doesn’t want to hurt his uncle’s rep

-he joins the archery club and that’s fun. 

-sometimes he imagines that the target is jin chan’s face. very fun.

-during lunch he kinda just sits in a corner and exists.

-he may be kinda lonely but it’s not like anyone is gonna try and befriend him. and he sure as hell ain’t gonna try talking to anyone.

-a qing texts him memes sometimes and friendship is nice. ouyang zizhen and a qing end up dating (wholesome~)

-jin ling is like “well that only took like 6 years”

-little does he know-

-anyways, about a week into hs and jin ling hates it cause 1. it’s high school and 2. he’s kinda lonely

-seriously the only person he’s talked to is this guy from archery who was actually terrible at it

-jin ling is offended by how bad he is

-they end up arguing and somehow he convinces jin ling to help him practice 

-he agrees to help him cause seriously, he is offended by how bad he is

-next tuesday is the next archery meeting so they agree to meet on Thursday afternoon so newbie can practice

-that thursday, jin chan corners him on the way to lunch

-and since this is a convenient hs au, jin ling gets, well, cornered

-jin chan, noticing that jin ling isn’t getting as riled up lately, decides to up his bullying game.

-he says some things about jin ling’s parents. more specifically, his lack of them.

-jin ling is pissed off but doesn’t wanna upset his uncle. he’s gotta be the perfect jin heir to live up to their expectations, and that means not punching jin chan in the face.

-thankfully he doesn’t have to, cause archery noob does it for him.

-(by now if you haven’t figured out archery noob is jingyi, don’t worry. i wouldn’t have either. you get a cookie. and if you have figured it out, you also get a cookie. virtual cookies for all! 🍪🍪🍪)

-well that worked out.

-jin chan runs away cause the most unlan lan to have ever lan’d in the history of lan packs a mean punch

-he would much prefer his archery tutor to not plagued by memories of his deceased parents, thank you very much.

-sizhui, who was with jingyi, goes up to jin ling to ask if he’s alright

-jin ling is okay (physically, at least), so lsz goes on to ask ljy what the heck he was thinking??

- “You’ll get in trouble if that gets reported, even if we explain that he was a bully. There’s a zero-tolerance for violence and bullying, so you could both be expelled, you know!”

- “Oh. Shoot.”

-jin ling, confused as to why archery noob just punched jin chan in the face, stays silent and watches this madness unfold. 

#zhuilingyi #jr trio #high school au #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jin ling #the jin ling protection squad #ouyang zizhen #a qing #prompt #headcanon