on god she did not just give birth to homestuck jesus
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>Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago.
>Get startled by phone ringing.
>It’s one of my players.
DIRK: Dude, it’s midnight. You good?
JADE: yeah!! yeah sorry if i woke you :( could i ask for a favor?
>OhGodSheKilledSomeone.gif
DIRK: Uh, sure? Shoot.
JADE: my daughter cant sleep, could you tell a quick story over speaker phone? she loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed but left my laptop at the office so i cant play them!!
>NaniTheFuck.mp3
DIRK: She listens to us to fall asleep?
JADE: yeah!! but she really likes your plot and npc acting bits. she calls you “dumb dumb mister”. guess “dungeon master” is a bit hard for a preschooler hehe
DIRK: Wow… Well, if it will help her sleep, then sure.
JADE: YESSS thank you! ok give me a sec to head back to her room... ...ok youre on speaker!
DIRK: Hey Ruby, it’s Uncle Dirk.
RUBY: [HAPPY GASP] DUMB DUMB MISTER
>I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg
DIRK: You ready for a story about [DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE] the time your mommy and her friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?
RUBY: [INCOMPREHENSIBLE HAPPY SQUEALING NOISES]
>I then proceed to spend nearly 20 minutes spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep.
>Friend thanks me for the help and says she’ll see me on game night.
>Lie down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked her.
>I am the dumb dumb mister.
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YIFFFANYYYYY
She’s so cool why does nobody mention her 🦓
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