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irenadel · 3 years

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i wanna talk books so I made a meme

@doorsclosingslowly here’s the answers to your questions :)

6. If you read in more than one language, is there a difference between the experience of reading in your native language(s) and reading in other languages?

Virginia Woolf has a great quote in A Room of One’s Own where she says that women writers need to develop their own “sentence” and that this can only be developed through creating a tradition of female writing. She says that while reading male writers is pleasurable, it isn’t useful for the female writer, that she can’t learn from the way men write. Their “sentence” isn’t suitable for female writing. I’m.... unsure of how much I agree with her on this but I find the theory useful for describing how I approach literature in Spanish vs English.

Especially in terms of language, not so much in regards to narrative or worldbuilding or even themes, I find Spanish to be pleasurable but not useful. I very rarely find myself reading something in Spanish and thinking “ooooh, I wish I could do that! I want to steal that! How did they come up with this?” The “sentence” for writing in Spanish isn’t one I recognize or want to imitate... except maybe for VERY few exceptions like Carlos Fuentes and Borges. Whereas I can spend a lot of time reading English un-selfconsciously and then suddenly be struck by a turn of phrase that I must somehow or other make my own. That almost never happens to me when reading Spanish.

9. Fiction or non-fiction or both? In what ratio? Where do you draw the line between the two?

Oh god, this is embarassing. Erm... fiction to a fault. On 2020 and 2019 I did try to make a concerted effort to read more nonfiction, ESPECIALLY more popular science books. I still kind of childishly consider myself to not be “smart like that” and that science isn’t for me, because I don’t understand it. I used to think science fiction wasn’t for me, for similar reasons. When I do read nonfiction it tends to be history and literary criticism.

I’m finishing my degree on English literature and though I had a period of hating hard on literary criticism, I think it was mostly me rebelling against the French brand of it. I HAVE to admit I love reading new historicism, especially now that I’m working on my dissertation and I had to read a lot on Elizabethan and Jacobean theatre.

Hopefully 2021 will be the year I read a bit more science.

11. The worst book hangover you’ve ever had

Augh... I remember two in recent years. Let me see... in 2017 I finished the last book in the Realm of the Elderlings. I had read the first book in the series around maybe the mid 2000s. I devoured it in a single weekend, still hungry for more of the story. I did not have access to the rest of the trilogy for a couple of years after, but as soon as I got them I read them as fast as I could. I remember reading those books during class, pretending to pay attention to a lecture on Linguistics but actually fully engrossed in Robin Hobb’s world.

It’s a world that was with me for more than 10 years. Characters that I knew intimately from multiple re-readings for more than 10 years. My dissertationg is about the first trilogy for crying out loud! I hadn’t wanted to read the last trilogy and the last book on the trilogy because I didn’t want that connection to end. But finally I gave in...

It was a book hangover because I was reading late at night when I realized, halfway through the book, a character I loved deeply was probably going to die and I just HAD to know, I HAD to be sure. So I read through the night going from disbelief to anger, to grief, to grim acceptance. I wasn’t able to put down the book until 11 am the next day, by which point I was openly sobbing and would have thrown the book across the room except I think I was reading in my computer.

The second book hangover I remember was less because of sprinting through the book and more because of the circumstances. Last December I had decided to finish as many books I could in hopes of reaching my Good Reads goal (which I didn’’t) and I was going through His Dark Materials pretty quickly when on the 25th I got the news that my grandmother died. I wasn’t able to go see her at the hospital or at a funeral, or even go see my dad and uncles because she had died of covid-19 and the situation was still pretty dire in the city.

Then Philip Pullman decided to be an absolute asshole to me and the characters in his book arrived to the Land of the Dead. Being an atheist fantasy series and me having just recently come to terms with the fact that I’m not even agnostic... it was very tough to go through Pullman’s exploration of mortality and the importance of life on Earth. I agreed completely that materiality and the here-and-now far outweigh any contemplations of an afterlife... but my grandmother had died very suddenly.... she had still been a pretty strong old lady before she contracted covid... I had spoken to her a couple of days before and she was still strong enough to bitch about litter getting inside her room...

I finished The Amber Spyglass in a rush as well and somehow it got mixed with my mourning process and my anger at myself for having taken my grandmother’s life for granted... for not having cherished the materiality of her existence when I had the chance... I hadn’t finished writing my dissertation’s first draft yet and there were some heavy issues going on in my household.... I was exhausted from having to survive the year and I think I still am... and it all mixed up with the bittersweet ending of Pullman’s His Dark Materials and the inevitability of loss... all I remember from between the 25th and the 31st of December 2020 was exhaustedly reheating Christmas food, trying to write, and slogging through The Amber Spyglass... it feels like it was a week-long literary hangover...

14. The book that, in hindsight, really should have clued you in to the fact that you’re _________ (queer/in love/doomed to be an academic/etc)

So this is slightly NSFW but I should have known, and stopped being such a snob about it, that I had WAY MORE in common with the furries than I cared to admit given that my first impression of Smaug the Golden when reading The Hobbit at the tender age of 8 was “wow! he’s dreamy!” *facepalm *(also betraying a worrying tendency to crushing on irredeemable assholes and other miscellaneous villains...) I have accepted my status as a weird monsterfucker AND a weird alienfucker. Inhuman anatomy makes me hot, and I should have known it from DAY ONE!

23. The book you expected to hate, didn’t, and then got angry about not hating

The Hunger Games, which I’m STILL salty about and will probably remain salty about for the rest of my life.

I hateread it because a friend told me about how he hated it, given his bitter ex loved it and though I agree with all his criticisms and have a bunch of my own... I still cannot stop finding stupid Katniss profoundly likeable! CURSES! A pox upon your house Suzanne Collins! I still think your dystopia is a cowardly, white-lady-who-has-never-feared-state-violence dystopia, I still think your love triangle was absolutely unnecessary and I still think you tried to cop out of admitting you (and your character) like pretty dresses by making the pretty dresses compulsory. Be brave! Don’t give me this “I’m not like other girls” bullshit! Be brave! Make your violent spectacle reality show as a criticism of the USA’s consumerism and callousness a voluntary thing! Don’t wash your heroine’s hands clean of the sin of wanting fame and fortune and survival at all costs!

But... fuck... I... still like Katniss... I’m glad little girls in 2008 got a heroine who kicked ass, looked good and wasn’t a perfectly strong and powerful person all the time. I’m glad they got competence and vulnerability... Fuck my life...

31. Bonus question: rec me something!

This is hard... since I get the feeling we have very different tastes in reading material but... If you haven’t heard of the Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying game (or even if you have) take a crack at the Baali Clanbook. Even if you don’t understand the game mechanics I think you’ll enjoy the history portion because it’s about a clan of devil-worshipping vampires who do their devil worshipping through implanting evil insects on people... and I suspect it might be up your alley...

#book meme #doorsclosingslowly

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loquaciousquark · 4 years

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30, 34, 38 for the writer's asks?

30. Do you write down all your ideas?

Oooh, tough question! In general, I don’t write down something until I’m ready to write it out and commit to it. It’s why I don’t have a WIP folder or more than one active WIP at a time. I have to keep my brain focused on one task from start to finish - otherwise nothing gets done. Even now at work, when I’m working on a task list, I often have to stop myself and say out loud, “Stop multitasking. Focus on one thing. Get that done first.” because otherwise I just hop from thing to thing without ever finishing any of it.

So, the fact that I’ve written down the bodyguard AU outline means that it ought to happen some day, as soon as I finish filling in the holes in the world. The ice skating fic is the other file I do still have saved on my computer’s desktop as a tentatively still-open world, since I have part of a follow-up written from Carver’s perspective. It’s about 1500 words in, but I realized it’s not doing anything I want it to and doesn’t really have a point, so I haven’t gone back to it in a month or two. I might do something else about Danarius’s penitentiary woes, though, if inspiration strikes.

34. Have you felt emotional while writing a scene before? What scene was it?

I cried like a baby writing the end of Lacrimosa. I have a very vivid memory of sitting on my apartment bed in my tiny bedroom, the lights off, writing in the dark very late at night in total silence, and then I got to the part where Aveline is trying to comfort Hawke and I just burst into tears the same moment Hawke did, and then I cried through the rest of the writing.

That fic was astounding in a lot of ways, but it still remains one of the easiest writes of my life. Not emotionally, of course, but physically - I just sat down and wrote it from start to finish, no editing, and then I immediately posted it the same night I’d seen the prompt on the kink meme. (Yes, I did save the links to all my original anon fills on the k!meme, why do you ask?) Jade helped me pick out two pieces of music that fit it perfectly, which I added in later, but yeah. My most vivid memory of writing that fic is sitting there crying into the dark, trying to see what I was writing through my tears.

I also cried writing the memory of Malcolm’s death in Ascendi. I never got any comments that indicated readers did too, but that’s all right. Just lots of crying for me!

I will say the speech Hawke gives to the raiders yelling at them for their stupidity in attacking a pregnant, moody Champion apostate makes me laugh out loud every single time I read it.

38. What story of yours are you surprised that people liked as much as they did?

Oh, definitely Were We Not Called. I wrote that coming off of the difficulty of writing Worth Life, which has the protagonists separated for most of the fic & where Fenris thinks Hawke is dead for a good chunk of the story. I spent a very long time working on and refining Worth Life and it got a really decent response, which I thought was super generous of the fandom, but it had a lot a lot of emotional damage & grief & mourning that I think was kinda heavy for the world at the time, and once Hawke & Fenris reunited the interest faded away a little bit--which was totally fine & expected, honestly!

But while I was finishing up the edits for Worth Life, I saw a prompt about AU soulmates (I think in a list from @thegeminisage??). It sank its teeth into me hard, and I whipped out Were We Not Called in like two weekends or something after having spent six months on Worth Life. Jade edited it and got it back to me, I started putting it up, and the response blew me away.

@eponymous-rose and I have talked a lot before about why some things blow up in fandom and some don’t. The thing that seems to affect it the least is the amount of time and effort you spend working on a piece; instead, by far, sometimes you just get really, really lucky. Sometimes all the stars align just right, and you happened to write a trope that everyone wants to read at just that moment, and you happened to post it at just the right time of day for most people to see it, and maybe just the right person happens to reblog it at the exact moment for someone else to have the free time to click in and read it for themselves. It was just a perfect storm of some unbelievable chance, and the comments on that were so very kind (and numerous) for something I’d spent a lot less time working on, haha. Even now, it’s one of my most popular fics, and I haven’t got a clue why!

Funnily enough, even though it doesn’t have many kudos or comments, by far my most-hit fic is Crucible. This fandom, huh. 👀

Thank you for the questions! :D

#long post for ts #fic writing meme #shadoedseptmbr #quark replies

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incomprehensiblelentils · 3 years

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@dollsome-does-tumblr does this and opened it up to anyone and I am feeling chatty today SO!

Because I co-write a lot with my lovely wife, I might answer some questions including those co-written stories, or I might not, depends on how I feel when I get there.

name:

Megan but I go by Lentils most places on the internet, Shadowcrawler over on AO3

fandoms:

at the moment: MCU, especially Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil; Terminator: Dark Fate; Halt and Catch Fire. Oh and I wrote Dollhouse fanfics a thousand years ago. Sometimes I will watch a movie/show and think “those two girls should be gay” and bang out 2k of fic about it and then never write for that fandom again. (I THOUGHT this was going to be HACF but as it turns out, no, it’s not done with me yet.)

where you post:

AO3, at Shadowcrawler. I also have a tumblr @lentils-writes where theoretically I post links to fics/advertise them in the tags, because I used to be real precious about not putting porn on this blog, but fuck it.

most popular multi-chapter fic:

Co-written, it’s definitely mallverse, which is I think the reason most writers definitely hate us because it’s very long and there are a lot of tags lmao. The problem is that every tagged character HAS shown up in a significant fashion at some point so we can’t just...untag them! It doesn’t update weekly anymore because we’re exhausted by life lmao so at least there’s that???

As for a multi-chapter fic that was just me, I don’t tend to do that so much, so actually it’s say you will, my 3-chapter Endgame fix-it where Clint dies instead of Natasha and Natasha and Laura have a past. It actually has over 1000 hits which is very exciting! I feel like it’s...niche in a way that is frustrating but understandable lol. I put a lot of my heart into it and some people really liked it, so that’s gratifying.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

Co-written, I think our SHIELD Dollhouse AU is very underrated for the amount of work we put into it. Author bias evident here because I love Dollhouse warts and all, and it’s a lot of fun translating episode plots as well as the general trajectory of the show into stuff that will work with SHIELD characters. We don’t just rewrite episodes, we really try and rework them as needed. Also it features both Skimmons and my beloved rarepair Bobbi/Kara, though of course they won’t get together until later.

Of my own stuff, I’m still really really proud of the AU where Kara Palamas didn’t die. I think that was a pretty severe misstep of the show and I think I did a good job of fixing it. (I haven’t forgotten Kara, promise!)

fic you were nervous to post:

lolololol I wrote some uh. Terminator pornography last year and. They are very porny! I had co-written a bunch of smut obviously, but that was the first time I’d posted like, PWP all by myself on purpose??? and that was TERRIFYING. Also I was very nervous to post the Engame fix-it because that was my own personal goodbye/tribute to Natasha.

how you choose your titles:

They are always either song lyrics or jokes (such as Three Lawyers and a Baby, my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition fic). My WIP docs are always titled either obvious shit like “RoseJannah horse girls” or memes like “what if we belonged to a fire cult and we fucked haha just kidding unless...?” or “Morgan has two mommies.”

do you outline?:

B and I typically outline for the co-written fics, although it’s more often chapter-by-chapter outlines since that’s how we write them. On occasion we’ve fully planned multi-chapter stuff out in advance but that’s less common. Oh and the one-shots are nearly always outlined as well, just to keep ourselves organized.

When I have written planned multi-chapter fics in the past I have used outlines - particularly for the Kara one and I had to do that for the SHIELD Kill Bill AU because I was trying to follow the format of the movie. For things that are allegedly supposed to be one-shots I almost never outline, which turns out to be a terrible idea when they inevitably balloon beyond my control and become 45k like say you will. That one, I wrote out a list of scenes I thought needed to be in it and then I wrote about 75% of those scenes and then I wrote a bunch more scenes I hadn’t planned for. Don’t be like me, kids!

complete fics:

According to AO3, 89 as of right now. Uh, you do not want me to list all of them, here’s a link, I guess!

in progress:

I don’t understand what the difference is between this question and the WIP questions lmao help????

posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Cowritten: mallverse as I said, and its femslash smut oneshots spinoff and character flashbacks spinoff and older characters/teachers spinoff (these get updated, uh, irregularly), the first half of a Piper/Snowflake SHIELD s7 fic that we are planning on finishing the second half of soonish, SHIELD Dollhouse AU, SHIELD Teen Beach AU, SHIELD Buffy AU. You may notice a pattern!

By myself, I have: Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas, a Terminator Hallmark Christmas fic that I ambitiously posted the first chapter of in 2019 and then lost steam immediately (I am going to go back to it sooner or later bc I had some cute ideas for it); the SHIELD Fate of the Furious AU that has one chapter to go and which I do intend on finishing eventually; Three Lawyers and a Little Lady, the Daredevil Accidentally Baby Acquisition AU that is literally just cute kidfic and poly avocados and which I have a bunch of ideas for and just need to buckle down and finish some.

posted WIPs that I have given up on:

Lol so there’s a Dollhouse Caroline/Bennett Doctor Who AU that I wrote purely as idfic and which nobody ever cared about except me, and I think that ship has sailed! RIP darlings. I also had an ongoing Skimmons series waaaay back when where I posted oneshots that were like missing scenes or gay readings for each s1 episode, and I just feel like it would be inauthentic to even try and finish it at this point. (It does include the first ever Skimmons fic to be posted on AO3! Really truly, there’s one fic that shows up as older but it’s an ongoing fic and was updated with the tag way after I posted mine.)

exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I haven’t done an exchange since like 2015 lololol I am so bad at them. I am currently working on finishing up my MCU Femslash bingo card, very late, and I do have plans for almost all of the remaining squares!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

“RoseJannah horse girls,” which has been put on hold temporarily but is literally just Rose and Jannah being gay while riding orbaks

half of a Daisy/Gwen fic from Marvel Rising because I know they’re not making any more of those but I stg those two were really gay

multiple fics about Elise Nelson-Page including: avocados Halloween with smol Elise, Aunt Elektra very reluctantly taking smol Elise shopping until she realizes smol Elise also likes weapons (she buys her a fake katana), Uncle Frank is a pushover and spoils the shit out of Elise, and baby Elise has a high fever and everyone freaks out but then she gets better and smile at them for the first time (inspired by baby me lol).

coming soon/not yet started:

“Morgan has two mommies,” yet another Endgame fix-it where Maya Hansen did not die in Iron Man 3 and she resurfaces and she and Pepper kiss and eventually she adopts Morgan

Claire and Colleen go on a nice date to get coffee/tea where Danny doesn’t interrupt them goddammit

Bobbi/Kara Warehouse 13 AU which is sort of like “For the Team” but gayer ft. grappling hook

X-Men: Evolution Tabby/Amara fluff

Cameron/Donna character study disguised as smut

Grace proposes to Dani with a ring made out of the metal from her power source and Carl officiates the wedding

Dani gets horny watching Grace eat a peach and jerks off and Grace ends up hearing her and then they fuck (I have been calling this “the peach fic” in my head but I gotta stop being delicate about it lmfao it is just porn)

B and I have plans to do a Nico/Karolina Jasper in Deadland AU but we keep forgetting

I MUST WRITE FOGGY AND KAREN SADLY FUCKING IN A CHURCH WHILE THEY MOURN MATT THIS YEAR I STG

do you accept prompts:

uhhhhhh I have on occasion written a prompt for someone before but it’s pretty rare and I have enough trouble writing the shit I come up with in my own head lol. but never say never?

upcoming story you are most excited to write:

I’ve got a bit of the Bobbi/Kara Warehouse fic written and it’s nice to go back to that world. Also I’m weirdly excited about the Cam/Donna smutty character study I mentioned above, I have a lot of what I think are good ideas for it and it’ll be fun.

tagging @unwind-myself @swiftzeldas @swashbucklery @loved-the-stars-too-fondly and, if you want to, you!

#sometimes I write things

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northshoretragedyeagle · 3 years

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Catch-up Meme

Tagged by both @lantur and @broomchickabroom! I was sitting next to C while she wrote hers, so our answers are probably going to be pretty similar for some of them!

three relationships that are on my mind:

Fictional: Work has been crazy lately (I’m implementing a new assay TODAY after an extremely quick 2 week validation and confirmations is still trying to validate another 2 of their assays) so I haven’t really had as much brain space to think about my favorite fictional people! But a few were on my mind recently.

#1) The A-Team. When I’m feeling down, the 2010 A-Team movie is my comfort film. I know it’s not very good, but I adore Murdock and they flew a tank! I’m a sucker for found family and also heist-style media. I didn’t actually watch this while I was feeling down the other week but did spend some time trawling AO3 for good fic.

#2) Leverage. I already said, I’m a sucker for found family and heists. I’ve been avoiding the AO3 page since Redemption came out (I haven’t finished it yet!) because I didn’t want to spoil anything. I am STOKED that, after 10 years, Leverage came back. I remember watching the pilot live on TV and then watching it immediately again after.

#3) Supernatural. I’ve continually had at least 5 Supernatural AO3 tabs up since Nov 5 when I was once again infected with Supernatural brainworms. Big fan of the hurt/comfort opportunities created by the show. I’ve even been rereading some of my favorite authors on FF net that I read back in, like, middle school.

Real life relationships:

#1) My brothers! One is chronically ill with ME/CFS (and POTS and all the other fun symptoms that seem to tag along with those illnesses) and lives on the other side of the country with his wife. The other lives in Poland with his girlfriend and we just visited them for the first time! We hadn’t seen him in 2 years (and we still haven’t seen my other brother in 2.5 years, probably going to be at least 3 or 4 until we see him again :( pandemic and chronic illnesses are not a good combination). I need to be better about initiating conversations with them on my own and not just in the family group chat.

#2) I’ll copy C’s answer and say the roommates! Big shift coming with D moving out and C’s boyfriend moving in. Trying to enjoy and appreciate this last month of all of us together!

#3) Swordfighting club! We’re finally meeting again (outside) which is great, but I always get a little nervous before practices. I only had 2 months with them before the Pandemic started so I’m still pretty new to swordfighting. Trying to make some actual adult friends outside of our regular circle takes effort!

last song: “On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter. It’s very cyclical and blends mournfulness with hope. I don’t actively listen to a lot of music (I listen to whatever C is playing, usually) but this is one that I like to put on while sitting around drinking coffee.

last movie: Stardust, when my college roommate was visiting last week!

currently watching: I’ve been having the girls watch “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency”. On my own, I’ve been indulging in “Leverage: Redemption” (I can’t watch it all at once! Then it would be over--I have to savor it!!) and finally finishing up “Farscape”, a sci-fi show from the late ‘90s/early-2000s with amazing puppetry from the Henson company. I’ll include non-TV here too--I’ve been watching a lot of Buzzfeed Unsolved and Puppet History. They’re fairly short and hit the sense of humor that my brother and I share, so we send each other episodes to watch.

currently reading: I just finished “Her Body and Other Parties” by Carmen Maria Machado and uh...It wasn’t really for me. I think I would have appreciated it more if I was reading it for a class or had some structured discussion about it. I have “Evvie Drake Starts Over” on my list to read; I read a blog post about it a few weeks ago and have been meaning to reserve it at the library.

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esperantoauthor · 4 years

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Pandemic Mental Health Check-In

Thanks for starting this check-in, @snarkyhag. Thanks to @20xbetterthanu, @gleefulpoppet, and @gorgxoxus for tagging me 💕

I actually started filling this out right when you all were tagging me but, uh, it was honestly getting me down so I put it aside. So, I know I post ranty things on here sometimes but I mostly try to keep this a happy and upbeat place, because that is how I like it! But this got kind of real when I was filling it out so I’m going to stick it under a cut in case you just want to keep the happy tumblr vibes going and scroll on past.

How is everyone holding up?

On the one hand, I feel like I have adapted to the situation and found my “new normal.” On the other hand, I have become a complete hermit, my job is way less enjoyable, I have now postponed my wedding twice, and none of this has been good for my mental health. I’m trying to live one day at a time and when I focus on that, I do alright...when I take a step back and think about things big picture it can all start to seem pretty grim.

At the beginning of the pandemic, I was much more concerned about protecting those around me than getting sick myself. After seeing a friend my age be sick for months (she has been sick since April and still has not recovered) and finally get classified with “long-haul covid” and reading the multitude of articles about young healthy people ending up with long-term health complications after recovering from covid including mild cognitive impairment (it sounds cuter when they just say “foggy brain” but that is what that means i take it very seriously) I am now genuinely afraid for myself as well as others.

Then we have the political situations in the U.S. right now which has just been one devastating news story after another.

What are you doing to keep healthy?

Other than following the pandemic precautions, honestly not much. My job switched from being one where I was on my feet all day to a desk job and the only structured exercise I had (Pilates at the gym twice a week with a friend) isn’t available. I lack the willpower/motivation/know-how to get an at-home exercise routine going. Living in an apartment without much open floorspace definitely doesn’t help; I don’t even really have room to exercise freely on a yoga mat let alone set-up a stationary bike or something. We live in the a big city so going for walks is unappealing because there are people everywhere which means being vigilant and general covid anxiety. I guess we eat healthy-ish...it's not amazing but we do okay. I’m more focused on my mental health than my physical health right now, I guess. I’m taking my meds, having virtual visits with my therapist, and using my strategies.

Are you working, not working, working from home?

I am working from home, thanks to my request for work accommodations being approved (thank you ADA!). Our school closed (originally for one week) in late March and then never reopened so I have been working from home since then with very little time off. I worked part-time in the summer mostly because I knew that with quarantine in place it would be bad for my mental health to have no built-in structure and just sit at home all day. I didn’t realize that applying for disability accommodations to work from home was something I would qualify for (I got the impression it was only if you had a medical condition that made you more susceptible to covid-19 not for mental health conditions that are exacerbated by covid-19). Thankfully, it turned out that it WAS an option and I got it approved before students started school. Figuring out how to do “parallel” instruction (teaching to in-person and remote students at the same time) has been a big learning curve and I haven’t had to do a formal evaluation over zoom yet, but I’m figuring things out. If I hadn’t been approved to work from home I honestly think I would have quit.

Anyone caring for kids or elders?

Thankfully, no. It’s just me, my fiance (who is healthy), and my tortoise. Sometimes I help out my brother by keeping my nephew occupied on facetime so he can have a work meeting or something.

What was you best/worst day?

My worst day was the day after George Floyd’s murder. I was obviously very upset and sad about what happened, but it also became the trigger point for me finally processing all of my grief about the multitude of death cause by the pandemic as a whole. Work was basically me zooming with kids and then sobbing during my prep time. I cried pretty much the whole day. I think because I was so focused on figuring out how to do remote teaching and just the day-to-day challenges, I hadn’t really had a moment to just fully mourn how many people had been and were dying. And then this amongst all of that, when people were fighting for their lives on ventilators, we had this completely senseless and avoidable death and it kind of pushed me over the edge.

What inspires you?

People inspire me. People with their big hearts and their big ideas. People saving lives in our hospitals and desperately searching for treatments in their labs. People taking to the streets and fighting for their rights. Anyone who is fighting for a better tomorrow inspires me.

Are you taking up hobbies?

I started a needlepoint of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I should really finish that. Does making tumblr memes and oven charts count as a hobby?

What kind of content helps keep the joy on your dash?

Cute Klaine/Glee shit! Hilarious shitposting! People liveblogging my fic on tumblr ( 👀 @20xbetterthanu)! Watching @spookyklaine‘s reactions to my oven charts. @kurthummeldeservesbetter‘s lovely blog awards because they were just so positive!

Has life gone back to “normal” where you are

NOPE! Thankfully the Illinois governor takes the pandemic seriously so while things have started to open up a bit, it is definitely not normal. We are the level where some people are eating outdoors at restaurants. Me and my fiance are personally still in full quarantine mode where we do not leave the apartment except for essential items like groceries. We have done a handful of socially distanced hangouts where we sit six feet from our friends in their backyard and drink the stuff we brought with us. Also just today, I saw on the news that Chicago is getting additional covid-19 mitigations because the numbers are spiking again.

What are you doing for fun?

Well I made a tumblr, so that happened! Writing and reading fic, doing gleewatch, playing stardew valley, watching TV with my fiance.

My big “fun” thing is that I started a weekly trivia game played over zoom with IRL friends that has been running since April or May. We started out with trivia videos a comedian I like made and now we make our own questions. I didn’t even really like trivia before this but it has become a very fun thing and my main social interaction that isn’t work or on the internet. We laugh a lot and it is a good time!

#personal #mental health #thanks for checking in with me ya'll #I swear I'm like mostly fine #I just...I'm also hyper honest so...yeah some things are not great

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ltleflrt · 4 years

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I don’t mean to butt in, but another reason you might feel that way about your writing is because you’re learning new things. Once you become comfortable with a style, maybe you’ve been branching out more and haven’t mastered it yet or don’t feel comfortable with it. I saw what you said about passion & your perspective absolutely matters but the natural course of learning is not a straight line! We all love you so much & are so proud of your growth.

I’ma be straight with you, every time someone tells me that I’m probably unhappy with my writing is because I’m learning new things, I have a flash of instant burning rage. Even if the message is coming from my bestie, who I deliberately ask for advice, sometimes knowing that I’m not going to like what she has to say.

I’m pretty self aware, and when I’m complaining about my writing, I usually know what’s wrong, I just need to vent because it’s hard.

With each story I write, I have a tendency to create a more complicated plot. Every single time, without fail, at about 60-70% into the story I flip the fuck out because I’m stressed over the project. And it’s because I challenged myself, and I’ve reached my skill limit. I rage and bitch and moan about it, and then I figure it the fuck out and get over the hump. And I’ve learned something about my own writing that I didn’t know before. So I understand what you’re trying to say, but I disagree that it is my current issue.

It’s zoomed too far out. My problem is much smaller. I’m having issues with the small things. The sentences. The dialogue. It sounds flat and boring because I’ve lost my cadence. MY cadence, not the characters. There’s a rhythm to my writing that almost feels lyrical to me. But the song isn’t playing in the background of my brain anymore, and the sentences and paragraphs I’m writing are boring.

I think the real problem is repetitiveness. I’ve written the same characters for years now. I started enjoying my writing more in Dreaming in Digital when I switched to Sam’s POV, because he’s New And Interesting, and while I was writing his voice, MY voice came back.

This has been slowly coming on for years and I’ve been fighting against it, because I don’t WANT to be done writing Destiel. I still fantasize and dream about those fuckers, and reading other fics still gives me the same emotional high. But I need something new to write.

Maybe that will count as “keep writing” and “learning new things”, but at the moment I don’t want to write any other pairings. And until I find another pairing that I’m just as passionate about, I’m suffering with the repetitiveness.

And YES I KNOW it’s possible to write them slightly differently in every story. Satin & Sawdust was probably the most unique version of Dean I’ve ever written. His internal thoughts still make me cackle when I go back and read that fic. But the story ideas I currently have offer nothing new about Dean, and nothing new about Cas. (Except that one dark fic that I still want to finish, but I can’t use for the DCBB because I’ve talked about it publicly).

I don’t really talk about this stuff publicly, so all people see me say is that I’m unhappy with my writing. I don’t talk about why, because like my readers I don’t want me to be done with Destiel either, and I don’t want to bum them out. And admitting it out loud feels like... the real ending. Like the battle is over, and all I have left is the hope that something new will come along to spark my muse again, while mourning the fact that my time with Dean and Cas living in my head is coming to an end. I haven’t really even gotten into these details with my bestie, because I didn’t want her to say what I’m thinking. Because she always does, when I tell her what’s really bothering me about my writing.

It’s depressing as fuck. And I’d rather just say Writing is Hard, and reblog whiny memes about it, than talk about the real root of my issues.

Thank you for trying to help, I really do appreciate the sentiment. And please don’t take this ranty post personally. You just happened to be the person who gave me the same advice, right when this rant was already itching to happen lol

It’s been building up inside me for a couple years, and it’s just me finally being honest about what my problem is. Because I’m stubborn, but not so stubborn that I can’t eventually figure out what’s wrong and get past it.

#writer's angst #even this post feels more lyrical #and more like my cadence #than any of the fics i've tried to write lately #so i've still got it!#Anonymous

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theharellan · 4 years

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101 DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS | not accepting

for the sake of reducing the number of ooc posts i’m answering these all in one and just @ing the people who asked the questions! thank you for them all!

if you sent me one of these btw and rbed this meme yourself and i didn’t send you something, please let me know! i want to send you things back and must have missed you reblogging the meme. this includes non-mutuals.

1. How did you get into Dragon Age? | asked by @kaaras-adaar & @dreamerlavellan

Sort of by accident, actually. It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in university (2011) and summertime is generally a time of inactivity and depression because I cannot tolerate the weather here. My dad happened to own Origins and I picked it up because??? Fantasy? RPG?

Starting the game I saw you could play as a dwarf, who have been my favourites in fantasy since a child as The Hobbit is among my favourite books. Then after that I fell in love with the worldbuilding for dwarves and Gorim, my first actual Dragon Age love. I was more or less hooked after that. DA was actually not my first Bioware game, I was obsessed with Jade Empire as a kid so like Origins appealed to me immediately despite being far less fun to play than literally any other Bioware game I’ve ever played. The characters and world more than made up for it.

I beat it relatively quickly and my dad bought Dragon Age II which had come out earlier that day, actually against my suggestion because I’d heard it wasn’t good. And in this instance my dad forgetting something I said turned out for the best because I ended up enjoying DAII more in some respects. While it took me a while to join the fandom as a content producer I was a consumer and certified DA trash from then on.

2. Have you finished all three games? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

Kskjdfs yes. I’ve beaten each at least 4 times, but probably more like 8. The only thing I haven’t played are some of the Origins DLC because as much as I enjoy my replays I am so ready to be out by the end of the game (and I have the worst luck with Awakening bugs) and I also don’t have Sebastians DLC b/c his never goes on sale individually and I refuse to spend more than like $4 on him.

3. How long did it take you to finish the series? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

I honestly don’t know. I think it took me like a week to beat Inquisition without 100%ing it, I’d say my first playthroughs all probably took about that long. I tend not to do everything in my first playthrough. Like shard collecting didn’t happen until round two, etc.

7. Favorite DA:O backstory? | asked by @dreamerlavellan & @fatefaulted

I’ve played through all of them and I enjoy them all except Cousland, but my favourite is Aeducan. I enjoy the politics, the culture, the aesthetic of Orzammar. I love Gorim Saelac and the surprising amount of depth to this character who is designed to be thrown away after the prologue. I love how it ties you to the Darkspawn threat in a bigger way than any of the origins accomplish. I love how it ties you to the Orzammar plot later in the game, and playing Aeducan first is probably one reason why I adore that branch of the game. It’s a good origin that establishes its world really well and has great characters to boot.

11. Share a pic of your favorite OC from any DA game. | asked by @dreamerlavellan

I just want to share pics of my girl and Solas’ future husband.

Ian Lavellan, non-Inquisitor written by @theshirallen

Thora Cadash, dwarven Inquisitor and default Inquisitor for this blog written by... me lmao.

22. Favorite DA2 party combo? | asked by @fatefaulted

My main Hawke is a mage Hawke, so this party is horrendously imbalanced, but: Varric, Merrill, Isabela. They all just like each other and I think that’s neat. Although in act one my favourite is probably Carver, Merrill, Isabela / Varric. Unfortunately the game doesn’t want me to have a warrior in my party.

24. Favorite main-story quest from DA:I? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

It’s hard to pick between In Hushed Whispers and In Your Heart Shall Burn. I love seeing the red lyrium’d companions and the dark future of Thedas, and speculating on what happened in the intervening year. I love reflecting on what it must do for the Inquisitor to see that and have it be undone. I think it sets up the rest of the game really well, and in ways Champions of the Just doesn’t do quite as well.

In Your Heart Shall burn is a simpler quest but I think the power and emotions in the quest are so raw. Playing this the first time was riveting and I was on the edge of my seat. The triumph of closing the Breach, the strangeness of your first encounter with Cole (whose appearance at the gates is another reason I prefer IHW tbh, I think it’s more tension building than Dorian’s), Corypheus, crawling through the snow. Capping it off with The Dawn Will Come and the journey to Skyhold idk, it’s just such an emotional high point in the series that every time I replay I get goosebumps.

25. Favorite DA:I place? | asked by @fatefaulted

It’s a tie between the Frostback Basin and the Emerald Graves. I love the lore in both, as elf trash I prefer the lore in the graves especially if I can include the Din’an Hanin into that category. But the Avvar lore and Ameridan is also Very Good, and while I adore the giant trees of the graves the Frostback Basin clearly was able to have more resources poured into its design, and as a result the different sections of the map have so much more character.

A close runner-up is the Hinterlands, as I think the quests there are fun and it feels like home. I enjoy returning to it. Which is good, b/c I’ve played through it... a lot... I think loving it might be a coping mechanism, but also I love the vibe of the early game that’s best captured in the Hinterlands.

32. Favorite DLC mission overall? | asked by @fatefaulted

Trespasser is up there with Shivering Isles as my favourite DLC ever produced. Its hits every emotional beat I think it needed to hit, set up the next game with greater detail and intrigue than the initial epilogue, and I’m honestly dying to get to replay it again on Thora despite what it does to my nerves. The first time I played it I could feel my heart beating faster like wtf me.

37. Blood magic: yes or no? | asked by @hopewrought

Would I use it myself? No. Morally I think it can be reprehensible but also neutral, much like any other magic in the game. In certain characters I think even if used for good it may encourage unhealthy habits, but I think it can be learned to be engaged with in better ways.

59. Who was written really poorly? | asked by @theshirallen you can’t hide behind anon I know it was you

Oghren fucking Kondrat. When I think about the reasons Origins is my least favourite game he is among them. With Oghren there was a really good chance to portray an alcoholic abuse victim, suffering from severe mental health issues, and still mourning his wife, with the respect it deserves. Instead he just... is a gross sexist dwarf and his alcoholism is mostly played for jokes. And then he comes back in Awakening and... continues to be a gross sexist dwarf whose alcoholism is mostly played for jokes.

There could have been some really interesting stuff with Oghren, the Warrior caste of dwarves I think would suffer from issues similar to qunari warriors, where when they can no longer fill the purpose society has dictated they must serve, what then? They can’t do anything but fight. There could be comradery with Sten, or perhaps Zevran or Alistair, or any of the companions who have had the path their lives took dictated to them by societal forces they had no say in (even if they are happy with that direction). There are snippets of good stuff in here, the line “let us show them our hearts, Warden, and then show them theirs” is one of the best of the good-byes the game offers us imo. It’s a shame about what came before.

Like there are other characters, such as Sera, who I think were done dirty by their writers, but Sera at least got some growth in the DLC and there were attempts to address criticism of her character. Oghren in Awakening was just kind of a take two of an already poorly-done arc.

60. Who do you wish had been given more story? | asked by @hopewrought

I wish Briala had more, like that she had some impact on the story in universes where Gaspard isn’t crowned with her as his puppetmaster. She and the elves reappears in that but not if you reunite her with Celene or exile her, and I think it would’ve been neat. I also wish she’d had a chance to interact with Solas in some small way given how many parallels were drawn by one of his own agents during Masked Empire.

I also wish we had more about dwarves in general in 2 and Inquisition. We get some great lore in Inquisition that was set up in 2, but with our only dwarf companion being Varric, who honestly has a relationship with his race that at times is comparable to Sera’s, it pulls a few of its punches. I really think they have dwarves set up to be important players in the next game, with their architecture featuring heavily in the dev diary, buuut no dwarves to be seen. So who knows. Just give me dwarves in the next game who aren’t Varric Bioware pls. Let me kiss one maybe.

61. Favorite NPC? | asked by @kaaras-adaar

I’m not going to count advisors even though they kinda are NPCs and I’m going to answer one for each game so uhh...

Origins - Anora

DA2 - Feynriel

DA:I - Krem

Bonus - Lord Woolsley, the only unproblematic DA character

63. Best story moment? | asked by @ghilannainguideme

It’s a tie between the journey to Skyhold and the talk with Solas at the end of Trespasser and the resulting disbanding of the Inquisition (if you so choose). I really can’t separate them because I think the reason Trespasser works so well is how it calls back to the very beginning of Inquisition and that moment with Solas in the snow. It’s triumphant and sad, something’s ending, the fellowship is breaking, but you know all of you will continue to work towards a better world apart.

In DA:O I think it’d be saying good-bye before the final battle and in DA2 I think the moment where you can tell the Arishok he was right to take in the elves who killed that guardmen is good. Probably one of the reasons why I think Hawke-Arishok work so well as a protagonist-antagonist combination.

81. Favorite fanfic? | asked by @ghilannainguideme

I don’t read a lot of fanfic, actually. Save what I read on here, which I do count, but idk if other people do.

My favourite writers to read are @theshirallen, obviously. Joly wants to tweakIan’s personal quest but I think the version they have written now is still very good and you can find it here. I love reading Peace’s stuff and find their smut especially spicy in the best possible way, you can find a Merrill/f!Mahariel piece here! Gaia doesn’t write on Tumblr much these days, but she wrote a wonderful Tug/Sketch (the companions from Leliana’s Song) that you can find here.

I follow so many talented writers and I can’t list them all but here are a few I can fire off real fast: @theshirallen / @ghilannainguideme / @seahaloed / @sabraelin / @valorcorrupt / @mercysought / @hopewrought / @ofrevas / @skyheld have all moved me with their words at some point, be it in fic or rp.

82. Favorite fanart/fanartist? | asked by @ghilannainguideme

Again I just can’t choose jsdfks.

The easiest way is to just link my Solas fanart tag. Obviously this favours Solas artists, however, so also here’s a link to thedaswlw where there’s a boatload of amazing fanart all of wlw.

Of people I’m mutuals with I know @abracafockyou, @kaaras-adaar, @dalathin (currently inactive but I gotta link them), and @syntharts are all very talented artists. I’m also a big fan of destinyapostacy, nipuni, elbenherzart, starscollected (on twitter), and many more.

97. What’s your favorite DA mod? | asked by @ghilannainguideme & @hopewrought

I’ll chose one as many as I want to apparently from each game again, b/c why not?

DA:O - I have to admit I find this game hard to mod because nothing can really salvage the gameplay or look of the game. I need Better Dwarf Model so I don’t have to look at the odd dwarf proportions in the game (the women have arms for days). Mostly I have armour mods. I like Grey Wardens of Ferelden so I can match Alistair in the final batte and have everyone in uniforms in Awakening. I do like Kirkwall Exports because I can put Zevran in the robes of the notorious pirate tho. I haven’t used this mod yet but I also love this mod I retweeted this morning.

DA2 - Again, I don’t mod 2 very much. You could probably make some kind of chart for correlating my enjoyment of a game versus my urge to mod it, with the more I love a game means I want to mod it more. With 2 I enjoy the combat and overall design of the characters more so I mostly use a couple of tweaks, my favourite is Ishs Scarf for Merrill which just adds a cute blue scarf to Merrill and hides the fact that elves in this game have weirdly long necks. Oh and a mod to fix the weird hand dirt.

DA:I - Equal Opportunity Solas mod, I bought the game again on PC just to use it. Being able to play Solas/Ian for screencaps was everything tbh. Other mods I enjoy are More Banter, which while I have better luck with banter it is nice to be able to count on it. I installed it this latest pt and I have heard location comments that have never triggered before. Black Hair for Everyone has changed my life because finally Thora doesn’t have grey hair. No Dirt Buildup is also amazing, as the dirt can cause some really weird blotting on PCs that’s especially noticeable on dark-skinned Inquisitors.

99. Where would you live (Ferelden, Orlais, Free Marches etc?) | asked by @heysales

Probably Ferelden. It is fantasy England and hey if I make it past Inquisition maybe nothing will ever happen there again. Somewhere in the Free Marches might also be chill. Not Kirkwall. Maybe Starkhaven? Honestly tho I just want to live in the Frostback Basin. Have a spirit friend. Shake hands with nugs.

101. If you could meet your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor, what would you say? | asked by @dreamerlavellan

If I met Thora I’d tell her I’m proud of her. She’d be confused, but that’s ok.

#( munday meme )#( ooc )#( about me )#( asks )

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joeal-kaysani · 4 years

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ask meme - uh, those dudes from the bisexual polyamorous cowboy movie you keep writing essays about

fhjakfhaskjdfhsaf 💕💕💕

(black sails spoilers below, so skip the paragraph about butch’s notp if you haven’t seen it)

Butch Cassidy:

Sexuality Headcanon: This might be a little controversial, but I tend to headcanon Butch as a gay biromantic (though I totally get seeing him as bisexual.) Even though he’s more of the womanizer of the two from what we see in the movie, it always feels sort of performative? Very much in line with how I feel a charismatic gay man would behave in the late 1800s if he were trying to convince everyone around him he wasn’t gay, considering how he easily drops it without a word of complaint in Bolivia. While he obviously loves and cares about Etta, I’m not sure sexual attraction plays nearly as big a role in their relationship as hers with Sundance did, and I think it’s just incredibly convenient for both of them to have a healthy emotional relationship with each other in a way they might both struggle to have with Sundance. I also don’t think he’s averse to sex with women (especially Etta, and especially in the context of their triad), but that if he existed in a later time period where it wouldn’t be a death sentence to be openly gay, he would probably identify that way.

Gender Headcanon: Cis male, perhaps one who would be more in touch with his feminine side if, again, he lived in a time and place where it was safe to explore that.

A ship I have with said character: Butch/Sundance and Butch/Sundance/Etta

A BROTP I have with said character: Butch/Etta

A NOTP I have with said character: Butch/Etta without Sundance in the picture. What’s funny is I actually think the Butch/Etta relationship would be the healthier one if Sundance died (and that’s the only way I could imagine this happening, because Sundance is obviously not leaving Butch by choice or he would have never gone to Bolivia when it would have been safer to split up) rather than the other way around, which is not unrelated to their emotional connection being stronger than their physical one. I just don’t think it would be romantic in nature so much as two people who very much love each other living together platonically and mourning their shared husband, à la Flint and Miranda from Black Sails.

A random headcanon: I’m actually having trouble thinking of one for Butch but they DID make it to Australia and you can tear that from my cold dead hands.

General Opinion over said character: Baby boy. Baby. Has just three brain cells and he uses them to respect women, be gay and do crime. Absolute icon.

The Sundance Kid:

Sexuality Headcanon: [NSYNC voice] baby bi bi bi

Gender Headcanon: Cis male.

A ship I have with said character: Sundance/Butch and Sundance/Butch/Etta

A BROTP I have with said character: Sundance will only speak to two human beings voluntarily and he’s sleeping with both of them, so there’s not a lot of room for BROTPs with him.

A NOTP I have with said character: Sundance/Etta without Butch wouldn’t be as hard to swallow as Butch/Etta without Sundance, so I don’t really consider them a NOTP, but I’m also just not hugely interested in their story without Butch, either.

A random headcanon: To quote my favorite Butch Cassidy fic ever, Turn of the Century, “Sundance liked to sit and drink and say things so rarely and so deadpan most folks didn’t realize he was the second funniest guy in Wyoming.”

Also, he really wasn’t cheating in the opening card game and was dead serious about killing Logan if Butch lost that knife fight.

Also also, as a side note, I have a half-finished fic from Sundance’s POV where they get caught in a snowstorm and Sundance is internally roasting Butch for being from Utah, where it doesn’t get nearly as cold as Atlantic City. Then I Googled Utah’s average temps vs. Atlantic City’s and found out it’s actually much colder in Utah, but the mistake felt so fitting for Sundance’s character that I left it in.

General Opinion over said character: How can you not stan the bi-est man to ever live? Love him. Absolutely exhausted at all times and ready to murder someone at the drop of a hat and I can 100% relate.

#butch cassidy and the sundance kid #butch cassidy #the sundance kid #kidbutch #cassundetta #sorry i saw ''the bisexual polyamorous cowboy movie you keep writing essays about'' and then i blacked out and wrote another essay #fhakfjhasfjaf #a-green-bean #ask #long post #oc

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psychosistr · 4 years

Note

For the ask meme, what's your opinion of Claire from the Darkwing Duck Comics? - Pixel Anon

While I haven’t read the whole comic from start to finish, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen all of Claire’s parts posted around the internet at one point or another and, honestly, I like what I’ve seen of her as a character.

She’s willing to go out with Quackerjack and give him a chance despite knowing what he’s done in the past and who he is, and doesn’t try to do the ever annoying thing of trying to “save”/“fix” him. In fact, the only time she tries to save him is when she realizes that his mental state has taken a darker turn from who he was before and that he’s putting himself and others in extreme amounts of danger, but even then she’s not trying to completely change him as a person, she just wants to show him the toy that he loved so much in the hope that it will snap him out of his darker state. The fact that she still liked him as he was before- crazy, childish, and believing some toys were alive- was honestly a refreshing break from the typical mary-sue love interests who are so often used in narrative’s to offer a bad guy redemption: She loved Quackerjack for who he was, flaws and insanity included, and just wanted him to be happy and healthy even when the two of them weren’t together anymore.

I also appreciated how she was able to stand up to Darkwing and make him see that not all villains need to be beaten up or locked in prison and that some, like Quackerjack, needed some compassion and understanding because, truthfully, he was sick and needed help. The whole thing really gave me flashbacks to classic animated/comic Batman moments of him recognizing his enemies as mentally ill and treating them as such when he was able to (comforting the adult actress with a child-like body after she breaks down crying, not immediately arresting Mr.Freeze when he broke out of Arkham to visit his wife’s grave and make it snow on Christmas because she always loved that, recognizing that Harley wasn’t completrly to blame for the things that went wrong for her when she was paroled from Arkham and trying to talk her down and even buying her the dress she wanted, etc.). It’s just nice to see someone acknowledging that yes, sometimes you need to beat up the bad guys to stop them, but sometimes you need to remember that they’re still people and they need help, too.

The only thing I really don’t like regarding Claire is just that we don’t get a follow up with her after Quackerjack’s dollification/pseudo-suicide on her doorstep. There was room for a lot of angst potential with her: She could have confronted Darkwing over how he promised he would help Quackerjack and FAILED to keep that promise. She could have tried to find a way to change him back and gone through a mourning period when it looked like he was essentially gone forever. And, if/when he did come back (which I think he does but it’s never explained how??), the two of them would have a lot of things to work through and I’d be interested in seeing if they could repair their relationship while Quackerjack receives proper therapy since they clearly still care about each other.

Overall, I really like Claire, but feel she was under utilized as a character.

(Also, yes, even though I do like her relationship with Quackerjack, I am still a massive Quackervolt shipper- Quackerjack has TWO hands xD)

#darkwing duck #quackerjack #claire #dwd #pixel anon #personal #personal rant #ask #ask prompt

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 5 years

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Chapter 7 - (totally uninterested.)

I blinked a few times to get the blurriness out of my vision and rolled onto my back as reality set back in. Harry--who’d been in the bed beside me, was missing. Only wrinkled sheets and a sunken pillow let me know that (at one point) he was there.

The first night I’d insisted on a pillow between us, mainly because I knew if I woke up and he his face was a mere inches from mine, I’d probably smack him out of pure surprise. Last night, however, we’d clearly fallen asleep without much thought of his safety.

“Morning,” he shuffled out of the bathroom and appeared--shirtless--in the middle of the room.

“Hi,” I said, rubbing at me eyes again as I pushed myself up.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Fine,” I said, letting out a sigh when I looked him up and down. I’d seen his tattoos before--I’d seen the ink that dotted his arms and chest and I’d seen, somehow, the obnoxiously large butterfly that had seemed to land on his chest. “Did you sleep like that?”

“Shirtless?” He let out a laugh as he came back over the bed and sat with one leg still planted on the ground. “Yeah--s’hot as shit in here. I’m surprised you’re not totally naked.”

My eyes went wide at his words, but thankfully, he was fixated on his phone.

“What time is it?” I asked, hoping to change the subject from either of our clothing choices and onto something more platonic.

“Seven twenty-nine,” he said slowly, reading the numbers off of his phone before looking up at me. “Want to get some breakfast? I saw a diner down the street--might be good.”

I nodded, scooching myself closer towards the edge of the bed to finally commit to the day. “What time do you want to leave?”

It was Tuesday--Harry and I had both taken our shift off from the library for the night so we could spent the afternoon driving back. It was set to only take us a good 5 or so hours to get back to DC, but with my bladder and Harry’s constant need for a snack, we’d prepared for closer to 6 and a half.

Harry shrugged his shoulders and stood from the bed, walking over to his duffle bag that laid open on the floor. He crouched down to rifle through it, picking out a shirt to pull over his head. “I don’t care, really. Let’s have food and see how we feel.”

I’d always loved waffles. So as I watched Harry pour syrup over his, I felt incredibly regretful about my decision to get two eggs, over easy, with toast, bacon, and home fries.

I mean, sure, it’d be tasty and filling and fine--but the look on Harry’s face when he took the first bite felt like an unfair declaration of victory.

“What?” He asked, his mouth full as I forked a home fry into my mouth. “Somethingonmyface?”

“No,” I laughed. “Those look good.”

“D’yawantabite?”

“No,” I shook my head, reaching and pulling the bacon up to my mouth in hopes that the flavor would distract me.

“Mmm,” he said, swallowing and looking down at his plate. “Good, because they’re delicious. Will definitely finish them all and lick the plate.”

“Please don’t lick anything in public.”

He rolled his eyes at me, taking a sip from his coffee that sat on the table between us. “What midterms do you have?”

My shoulders slumped at the mere thought of going back to school. “History test, which is stupid. I have a paper due for my non-fiction class, a group project--with Taylor Nguyen--for my marketing class, and that’s it, actually.”

“What’s so bad about Taylor Nguyen?” He asked, a smirk tugging at his lips as he cut another bite.

“Nothing,” I sighed dramatically, “she’s just smart. She does everything on time and it makes me look bad when it’s the night before and I haven’t done shit.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh, watching me with curious eyes as he ate.

“What?”

“You’re just funny,” he said casually.

I pulled my head back and narrowed my eyes. “I’m funny? What happened to you’re so annoying, Nora, you’re so obnoxious!” I did my best to sound like him, voice low and slow and lilted r’s to imitate his accent.

“I don’t sound like that,” he said, an offended look on his face.

I swiped a piece of toast into the yolk that had spilled on my plate. “Sure you do, we can record you if you need to hear it. You can come and do a little radio spot in the campus station.”

He forked another bite into his mouth but kept his eyes on my face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I smiled down at his plate, hoping to send a message without words. He slumped his shoulders, let out a sigh, and shot me an are you serious? look.

Without saying anything, he picked up my plate, pushed his across the table, and then placed mine in front of him. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You don’t have to do that!” I laughed, picking up my fork and trying to play down my excitement. “I would have settled for a bite or two.”

“Yeah, right. You’d have two and then you’d just keep eating it mindlessly as you talk at me and then it’d be gone and I’d be pissed,” he let out a laugh, telling me that he wasn’t as bothered as he pretended.

“I don’t talk at you,” I made a face at him.

“You do,” he nodded assuredly, stabbing a few home fries before bringing them up to his lips. “But it’s fine, I still like you.”

Returned the car and now back at my apartment.

Thanks again for tagging along.

Anytime. Thanks for driving.

I wasn’t about to make you drive all that way!

I would have if you wanted me to! I’m actually quite capable behind the wheel.

For some reason I don’t believe you.

You’re the one who learned how to drive in a different country.

Believe it or not it’s not that different. Steering wheel, pedal, breaks. We have all of that.

You drive on the wrong side of the road there.

:( Be nice to me. I’m mourning.

You’re a dick! You can’t use the mourning card on me, I just dealt with you for three days straight.

And you loved every second of it.

Debatable.

I’m taking a shower and I’m going to knock out. Thanks again for coming, N. Goodnight 😊

Night, Harry 😊

My feet were up on the desk in front of us and Harry scrolled through some webpage on his computer. “What about this one?” He asked, forcing me to lean over again to look at his screen.

He showed me a picture of two people, dressed as ketchup and mustard in off-putting, boxy, costumes.

“No,” I said. “No way.��

“Nora,” he whined my name, causing me to look around the first floor to make sure that his volume didn’t bother anyone. There were only a few students spread out--most of them had chosen the quiet second floor to waste away their lives as they prepared for midterms. “You’ve shot down every single one.”

“Maybe that’s because we’re not doing a couples costume.”

I leaned back against my seat and looked back down at the textbook in front of me. Taylor Nguyen would have my head if I didn’t get my shit done on this project. She was already halfway there, sending me texts and even going as far as facebook messages to remind me that our presentation was due in a matter of days.

“We’re everyone’s favorite couple, we have to do a couples costume.”

I turned to look at him with raised brows. “Yeah, did you poll the entirety of American University?”

“I did,” he nodded confidently, continuing to scroll on the website to--apparently--look for other options. “Unanimous vote. Everyone loves us as a couple.”

“Yeah, well, then they’ll be heartbroken when we call it quits,” I said. I didn’t necessarily want to go there, but I knew I had to. “Which, by the way, we certainly can’t go as a couple on Halloween if we’re supposed to break up before then.”

He tilted his head to the side and scrunched his nose. “Let’s wait ‘til after. A costume will be great--really solidify us as in love. And besides,” he paused for a second as we both looked up to see a group of students walk in from the cooler October air. “Niall will be really upset when we end it. He loves you. Thinks you’re the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”

I let out a laugh at the thought of Niall rambling on about how good of a match I was for Harry. “I am the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“Debatable,” he shot me a challenging glare and then turned back to the computer. “What about this?”

I leaned forward again to get a better look at the old desktop that sat on the information desk. “What--what are they? Is he her pimp? You want me to be a hooker?”

“No, jesus, Nora,” he clicked the photo a few times to make it bigger. “They’re just from the Seventies, hippies--you really need to get your eyes checked.”

I rolled my eyes at his suggestion and went back to my book. “If we were going to do one, I’d consider that.”

The smile on his face wasn’t subtle, and neither were the butterflies in my stomach. I knew--with everything in me--that we had to end this soon. There was no way that I could continue on like this. I couldn’t pretend that the things Harry said didn’t mean something to me, and I certainly couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t important.

My biggest fear about the break up was that I’d suddenly feel a huge Harry-shaped hole in my life. Who would be the person I’d text when my professor said something ridiculously stupid? Who would I hang out with when Kristen was too busy studying? Who’d text me stupid jokes and send me stupid memes?

He’d grown quiet, sending a text on his phone to Ryan until he turned back to me. “So--we’ll do the costume? We could just break up that night, if you want. An alcohol fueled fight right in front of Ethan?”

I didn’t answer right away, instead, I stared at the textbook in front of me. Halloween was two weeks away.

“Or we could do it sooner if you really think we should. We could do it this weekend?”

“No,” I said, unable to even fathom the amount of time I’d have by myself if Harry wasn’t my friend anymore. “We can just do Halloween. Ethan’s pretty busy with basketball right now anyway, so that’s fine.”

“Y’sure?”

“Yeah, positive.”

He was quiet for a second, and it almost felt he was going to ask me what on earth was going on. But I was glad he didn’t, because I didn’t have an answer.

“So,” he drew out the word in a playful tone. “Can I order these then?”

I rolled my eyes and looked up at him, my heart almost breaking when my eyes landed on his playful grin and the excitement in his eyes. I let out a dramatic sigh, hoping that keeping air between us would protect my heart. Surely it wouldn’t work. I wasn’t that stupid.

“Fine,” I said. “Buy them.”

“You slept in bed with him for two nights and you didn’t have sex?” Kristen eyed me like I was crazy--but more so, like I was lying.

I held my burger in between us and looked her in the eyes, the noisy dining hall was the scene of our sudden heart-to-heart. “I swear on my entire life that I did not have sex with Harry Styles.”

“But,” she said suddenly, shrugging her shoulders as she reached to take a sip of her water. “You wanted to.”

“No, what? Kristen--I’m telling you,” I lowered my volume to ensure that I didn’t let the metaphorical cat out of the bag. “Everything between us is platonic. We’re friends. Just friends.”

My roommate stared back at me, her face calm and her words calculated. “Nora. You’re a terrible liar.”

I let out a breath and looked around the room, mainly to ensure that no one we knew was nearby and that--more importantly--Harry wasn’t lurking around the corner.

“Look, obviously there’s some chemistry between us, okay? But it’s not going anywhere. He’s almost done with his community service, Ethan is like actually interested in talking to me. The plan is working.”

“What do you mean Ethan’s interested in talking to you?”

I smiled at her question, excited to show her the physical proof. I pulled out my cell phone and opened up our message thread.

“He texted me at first with a question about where Harry was--which I lied, like a good fake girlfriend, and said he was with me--but then we talked all night.”

She reached for the iPhone in my hands and read over the messages. “Okay--so, it was like a few messages.”

I couldn’t help but frown a bit when she handed me the phone back. She let out a laugh at the look on my face and tried to console me. “Nora--I don’t mean it like that. I just don’t want you to miss what you have in front of your nose right now.”

“In front of my nose?” I put my burger down at this and leaned across the table and lowered my voice. “If Harry and I weren’t pretending to date, none of this would be happening, okay? I have to keep telling myself that all the time. All of this is fake, Kristen! He’s being nice because he’s acting.”

“I don’t think he’s acting, Nora,” she smirked at me as if she knew something I didn’t.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, my tone dismissive and, in a way, uninterested.

“I know that you’re both acting like you’re a couple--but, I think you guys are a good fit. I think the joking and the friendship and the stuff you do--I mean, it’s not all for show. Both of you know that.”

I thought on it for a second, stuffing a french fry into my mouth as she pushed the food on her plate around with her fork. “I’m just saying,” she raised a hand to encourage me to let her speak. “That I think both of you have been pleasantly surprised by how natural it is for you.”

“Fancy seein’ you two here,” Niall’s voice sounded from beside Kristen as he slumped into the chair beside her. His plate clattered to the table and he dropped his backpack on the floor.

Ethan appeared next to me, sliding into a chair and offering a smile as he greeted us both. “Long time no see,” he said. “How was New York?”

“It was--as good as it could be,” I replied. I realized, though, that despite the truth in Kristen’s words, I had a chance right now to set the stage for our break up. I cleared my throat, watching as Niall walked away to grab another fork. “But, it’s pretty difficult for Harry, you know. It’s made things kind of tough between us.”

Kristen took a sip of her water, likely to avoid any facial expressions that would give me away.

“Oh, really?” Ethan shook his head, “that’s too bad. I can’t imagine how tough it must be for him.”

“Yeah, for sure. He’s been really down, you know? Picking fights with me and--yeah. It’s alright though.”

Ethan twirled spaghetti around his fork and looked up at me. “Well, if you ever need to talk--either of you, really--you know how to reach me.”

“Thanks, Ethan,” I smiled at him, bringing my eyes to meet Kristen when Niall rejoined us.

“Jesus, the woman at the sandwich counter’s in a terrible mood,” Niall chirped, shaking his head in disdain.

Kristen and I were silent--but she knew exactly what I meant when I raised my eyebrows at her from across the table.

What are you up to?

Working on my marketing project, how bout you?

Nothing. Bored. The guys are at practice and I’m out early.

Need a distraction?

Hello? Please save me. I’m dying of boredom.

Okay--coming over then!!

Harry I’m busy. And rule two, remember?

Oh 🙁

Yeah, okay. That’s fine. I’ll see you at work?

See you then!

You know that movie you said you liked? With Ryan Reynolds?

I’ll need more than that--the guy’s been in hundreds of films.

Sandra Bullock!

The Proposal?

Yes! Watched it last night with Kristen. Not impressed 🤷

What?! You’re heartless. It’s a classic.

It was okay! Just expected more when you gushed about it at work the other day.

🙄

Harry had been begging me and Kristen to come to his soccer game--and if it weren’t for the fact that I was trying to avoid him, I would have been happy to go. I had nothing against soccer. In fact, I’d enjoyed tagging along with Harry and Alex to watch Ryan, Niall, and Ethan’s basketball games.

In the three times that we’d gone over the semester, I quite enjoyed listening to Harry and Alex try their hand at coaching as they’d scream at our friends from the bleachers. Kristen found this more embarrassing than endearing, but I was rather amused at the way Harry’s voice would crack after four quarters and countless “tips” from the sideline.

And I would have gotten out of Harry’s soccer game, had it not been for the rest of the boys being right there to jump on the chance. Niall loved a good game of soccer, loved to cheer on a team of any sport, really. Ethan agreed that Harry deserved a taste of his own medicine (and that he’d need to go buy a megaphone), and Ryan and Alex were happy to have an excuse to spend time as a group.

So--on a cooler than usual October Saturday--I was huddled between Kristen and Ethan on bleachers at Jacobs Field as Ryan seemed to yell directly at Harry (who was much better at soccer than I’d expected).

“Come on, Styles, put your pack into it, will ya?!” Ryan’s hands were cupped around his mouth to help his voice carry across the field.

“Stop standing there, sixteen! Let’s see a goal!” Niall sat down on the other side of Ethan and leaned over to see me. “I hope he’s not this slow in bed, Nora, jesus.”

Both Ethan and Kristen broke down into giggles, but I rolled my eyes and played along. “I’m surprised you haven’t heard us, Niall, that’s how good it is.”

The boys let out hoots of teasing towards Niall, but Ethan seemed to lower his voice as he smirked. “You don’t strike me as the loud type.”

I met his eyes for a second, suddenly worried by the heat on my cheeks that was sure to be noticeable in the cold air. I pried my eyes away from his and back toward the field--was it working? Was Ethan Davis actually flirting with me?

Before I could even focus back on the game, a whistle was blown, Ryan and Niall were back on their feet, and Ethan whispered “oh fuck.”

I scanned the field for Harry--who was now on his back, his hands grasped around his right ankle as he seemed to roll in pain. A teammate beside him was crouched over, a few others looked on in worry as their coach and trainer jogged from the sidelines.

I could feel all of their eyes on me--how would I react? Would I storm the field in some sort of love-crazed stupor? Would I rush to be by his side? I swallowed, tried to slow my heartbeat, and then looked to Kristen.

Part of me felt frozen in time--like if I worried about Harry’s injury and went to be with him, I was admitting that there was more to this than just a pre-arranged relationship that seemed to benefit the two parties involved. I felt the urge to ignore it, act as if he’d be fine and we were fine and I wasn’t worried--that part of me wanted to stay and talk with Ethan and learn more about the boy with blonde hair and a backwards hat.

“What happened?” I asked, feeling somewhat embarrassed to have been completely distracted from the game.

“He was running and took a cleat to the ankle by number 54 in blue!” Niall shouted the end of his sentence, clearly upset that the player hadn’t been carded.

“He’ll be okay,” Ethan said, his voice reassuring as he patted my knee. “Happens all the time. He’ll walk it off.”

“He’s not walking it off,” Ryan said, shaking his head. “He’s in fucking pain, man. Look at him.”

Minutes passed as Harry was stood from the ground, hobbled over the to bench, and was continuously examined by their team’s trainer. We watched as their coach spoke on a walkie-talkie and called in the players from the field.

I waited--quiet as Niall stood and seemed to bite at his nails in anticipation.

But my decision was made for me when someone on Harry’s team arrived on the sideline and asked which of us was Nora. “That’d be me,” I stood, offering an uncertain wave as he shielded his eyes from the sun.

“He needs an x-ray,” the kid said, his words causing me to immediately stand from the cold metal of the bleachers. Kristen handed me my purse and moved her legs aside so I could squeeze out from behind her, my feet picking up pace as I followed number three around the corner and towards the bench.

There were still plenty of people huddled around Harry, but when he saw me making my way towards him, he looked up at me with wide eyes. “Nora tell them that I don’t need an x-ray.”

I looked from Harry to the man with a clipboard (presumably his coach) and then to the man who was knelt beside Harry (presumably the trainer). I wasn’t about to give any sort of medical advice, but I looked Harry straight in the eyes. “You need an x-ray.”

There was laughter from a few of his teammates as they stepped aside to let me in closer. “Is it broken?” My question was more to the trainer than it was to Harry, but he swatted my hand away when I tried to rest it on his shoulder.

“It’s probably a fracture or a bad sprain--but either way, needs to be looked at.”

Harry pouted at this, a look of anger crossing his face when I raised my eyebrows at him. “Well, come on then.”

“I’ve called for a golf cart. Pat can take you back to the locker room and get some crutches for him,” Harry’s coach was talking to me--his clipboard against his chest as he seemed to respect my orders for Harry.

“You’re seriously trusting my girlfriend and not me? It’s my body! I know how it feels!”

“How’s this feel?” I leaned forward and tapped his ankle, gaining a laugh from the other players that had circled around us.

“Jesus fuck, Nora,” Harry let out a hiss of pain and then looked back up at me. I offered him a smile and a hand as the golf-cart approached from behind. Another trainer climbed out from behind the wheel to help Pat support Harry onto one of the back seats and I took Harry’s gigantic soccer bag in my lap.

“You could be seriously hurt, you know,” I told him, watching as they buckled him in. I reached forward to brush some of his hair out of his face.

“I hate the hospital,” Harry mumbled under his breath, causing me to let out a snort of laughter.

“Yeah, well, something tells me you’ll survive.”

Harry wasn’t exactly the portrait of a stellar patient. He was sat on a bed in the ER, refusing to lie down and insisting that this was all a bit much--despite the fact that he could barely put any weight on his ankle and it was swelling more and more by the minute.

He’d been down the hall for a bit for x-rays, being wheeled back in by a male nurse who seemed just as bothered by Harry’s attitude as I was. This male nurse--whose ID card clipped to his shirt said Aaron--offered me a sympathetic smile when he told us it’d be about 30-45 minutes until someone could read the x-rays and give us the results.

He’d left us alone for a bit, but he’d sporadically pop in to make sure Harry wasn’t in too much pain or to make sure that I was still putting up with him and hadn’t suffocated him with a pillow.

“Jesus, don’t look at him like that--have some decorum,” Harry grunted as he lifted himself back on the bed to adjust his position.

“What are you talking about?” I defended, watching him struggle without offering to help.

“Those eyes--those are your Ethan eyes. You think he’s attractive.”

I let out a scoff, totally uninterested in getting into it with Harry in the small hospital room. “Can you stop being such a twat? Everyone here is trying to help you. I am trying to help you!”

“The only way you’re helping is by keeping me company while we wait an obnoxiously long time for someone to read the stupid x-rays.”

“Why are you so grumpy? Aren’t you nervous that your ankle could actually be broken?”

He rested his head on the pillow behind him--the bed was upright enough that he was still in a seated position. With eyes closed, he let out a breath. “If my ankle is broken, Nora, I can’t finish the hours. If I don’t finish the hours, the whole Luke Billups thing doesn’t get erased. If that doesn’t get erased--”

“You’re fucked,” I cut him off. He shot me a pointed glare at my bluntness, but then he closed his eyes again. “Okay, not fucked, but in bad shape. How many hours do you have left?”

“Three. Just three one-hour practices with the kids.”

“I could do them,” I shrugged my shoulders, letting my eyes scan over his peaceful face. He was still in his uniform--the white shorts and jersey had dirt stains near the shoulders and knees. His left leg was still clad in his shin-guard, sock, and cleat, but the right had been stripped down. It was propped on a pillow that Aaron had set up and was now covered with an icepack.

He opened his eyes and looked at me as if I was crazy. “Nora--have you ever played soccer?”

“I mean, other than at recess or something, no. But I could just come as backup. I mean, you can still tell them what to do and whatever and I’ll be your legs.”

He let out a laugh--somewhat amused, but not taking the bait. “I don’t think it works that way.”

“Well--up to you. I don’t care. I’m just doing you a favor.”

He sighed and was quiet for a minute, only opening his eyes when Aaron came back into the room with a smile on his face. “Good news--not broken. Just a bad sprain and probably a bruised lower fibula.”

Aaron looked from Harry and then over to me. “Bad news,” he brought his eyes back to Harry. “Is that you’ll have to wear this for about ten days to two weeks,” he held up a large gray boot--the kind that you got when your ankle wasn’t broken, but it was all sorts of fucked up.

Harry let out a groan and pushed himself to sit up. “So how long am I out of practice and games?”

“Two weeks minimum. Dr. Hadley wants you to go to an orthopedist in a week to get a check-up and make sure nothing else is going on. If it’s just a sprain and deep bruise, you’ll be fine in a few weeks.”

I stood from my seat in the corner of the room and walked towards the bed. “Crutches too? What do we do about the fact that he can barely walk right now?”

“Crutches for sure--until it feels like you can bear the pressure. I’d think in two or three days you should be able to walk better.”

“Okay, how do we put this on?” I looked down at the boot that Aaron held in his hands, confused by the velcro and the flaps and the buttons on the sides.

“Here,” he said, lifting it up to Harry’s leg before gently removing the pillow and the ice pack.

“Fuck,” Harry let out a hiss, his teeth clenched together as his foot dropped to the bed. “Watch it, Aaron.”

“Harry,” I scolded him quickly, getting more annoyed by his fleeting patience.

Aaron laughed a little--which only enraged Harry more--as he opened the boot, helped Harry lift his leg inside, and then strapped him in. “Pretty easy,” he said. “Make sure it’s not too tight or too loose. Should feel just snug enough.”

“Does that feel okay, Harry?” I asked, wanting to ensure that the boot was exactly how it should be. The last thing I needed was for him to complain once we were home that it ‘felt funny.’

“S’fine,” he shrugged.

“Alright, well I’ll grab the discharge paperwork and get you out of here. You’re lucky you’ve got someone to help take care of you,” Aaron offered a smile in Harry’s direction--it almost seemed like he was either flirting with me or trying to piss Harry off.

Either way, it worked. Harry spoke with narrowed eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “I know I am, Aaron--Nora’s fantastic. Please get the discharge papers.”

I’d successfully set up Harry in his bed with some Netflix and an ice pack when we got home. He paid for our Ubers to and from the hospital--so I figured I might as well get him some food and make sure that the rest of the guys were at least briefed on what to do if he started losing his shit.

Ryan was at the gym, but Niall and Alex were in the living room with Ethan when I closed the door to Harry’s bedroom.

“Jesus,” I let out a groan, making my way towards the kitchen to figure out what kind of food Harry kept in his apartment. “Can’t imagine what a dick he’d be if it was actually broken.”

The boys chuckled in response, but Niall and Alex kept their eyes on the video game they played. Ethan, whose eyes had been on me as soon as I appeared in the living room, stood to follow me into the kitchen.

“Has he been that bad?”

I rounded the corner, a wave of butterflies were unleashed in my stomach when I realized it was now just the two of us. I shrugged my shoulders, turning around to play it up. “I mean--I told you, things haven’t been too great between us.”

Ethan nodded solemnly, a mix of curiosity and sympathy seemed to play out on his face. “Yeah, that’s a bummer to hear.”

I did my best to stifle a laugh--not only because I was lying to Ethan’s face, but because he was buying it. I was playing the damsel in distress and he was eating it up. Something about it struck me as strange and dramatic and entertaining.

He took a step closer to me as I nodded, and I could have sworn I saw his eyes flicker down to my lips--but then, shouting from the living room as Niall seemed to throw his controller on the ground.

“I fuckin’ beat ya! Finally! Ethan? Did you see that?” He rounded the corner into the kitchen, only to find us staring at each other. “Did you see that?!”

“Happy for you, man,” Ethan laughed and turned to his friend. Niall didn’t even respond before darting back to the living room, his bragging continued as Alex started to bicker back. “Well, let me know if you need anything, Nora--I mean it.”

Kristen could say what she wanted about the whole fake dating thing. She could judge me or think it was ridiculous and Harry could think I was stupid for being into Ethan in the first place, but his words pulled a smile out of me.

Ethan Davis didn’t know who I was at the beginning of the semester. He didn’t know my name, he didn’t know my face, he didn’t even know that I existed on the same campus in Washington, DC.

But now, Ethan Davis was offering to be a shoulder to cry on--should I need it. So I thanked him, because what Ethan did not know, is that I’d be taking him up on his offer sooner than he thought.

AN: Y’ALLLLLLL this one came sooner than we though because things are HEATING UP. I know, I know, they still are being ridiculous and seem to have their heads up their asses, but don’t worry, neither Nora or Harry are really that stupid. Let me know what you think or if you’d like to be added to the tag list for updates!

tag: @zeeliz @bookofstyles @stylesfics-xx @biteharrysthigh @bathrobesinparadise @nataleefrantz @wanderlustiing @you-sure-are-magneato @flooome

#totally uninterested #harry styles fic #harry styles fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine

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fleetofshippyships-archive · 5 years

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Fanfic Author Meme

Tagged by @diligent-thunder and @rockmarina =)

Okay, so I’m me, and I talked way too much, so I’m putting this under a cut to save your dashes. You’re welcome 😘

Please do not reblog this post.

Author Name:

Fleetofshippyships + Knowyourincantations + Legendaryroar

Fandoms You Write For:

(in order of decreasing # of fics) Harry Potter, Voltron, Merlin, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Star Wars and then a few one-offs that aren’t really worth mentioning.

Where You Post:

AO3 primarily, Tumblr, trying to post more on Pillowfort, I also post on a couple of sites for knowyourincantations