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#I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!!
laneywrld · 2 days
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things lost and things found | Lewis Hamilton
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part one
word count: 9.2k
warnings: smut, smut, more smut, fluff.
There's no way for a friends-with-benefits agreement to fail when both parties understand the rules.
"Do you ever get tired?" 
Lewis turns his head to look at her inquisitively.
"What do you mean by that, Clem?" He chuckles.
Clem turns over onto her side, propping her head up in one hand.
"Do you think about having a life of your own without racing but with a family, a wife, and kids? Do you ever want to go home and stay home?"
Lewis stares Clementine in her dark eyes before he turns and looks back up at the blank ceiling.
"I don't know." He whispered into the air. "I don't have much time to think about things like that, serious relationships and such." He winces as he says the words.
"You're not hurting me, Lew, I know what this arrangement is. I was just curious." Clem chuckled, plopping back onto her back. She pulls the covers up to conceal her bare chest.
They lie in silence again, and Lewis is left to think about what she'd just asked him.
He spent a lot of his time in a serious relationship, and immediately after that ended, he was in his single bachelor phase; somehow, as the years went on, it never ended. That's how he's gotten Clementine in his bed.
Of all the girls he chose to spend his time with, Clementine was easily his favorite. She wasn't artificial or an ass-kisser to him; she was simply herself. And Lewis wasn't used to coming across women like that, given his status and all.
Clementine was actually the complete opposite of every other girl in his rotation. She was younger than him, yes, but she was also smart and had dreams she wanted to achieve on her own. He liked to joke that everything about her screamed old lady. Clementine liked that. 
What's cooler than an old lady? 
"I'm going to take that as a compliment. I can't wait to get old; there's beauty in knowing you've lived; I know I'm going to spend my life fulfilling my potential. It'd be cool to be an eccentric old lady, just happy and peaceful. Content with life."
It was entirely by chance that he ran into her at all that night two years ago. He had been taking a late-night walk in the streets of New York when he first saw her. 
Initially, her style caught his attention, but the closer he got to her, the more noticeable was her smile and then her voice. God, she had the voice of an angel. She had that classic American drawl, so sultry and sweet like she was straight out of the fifties but with a twist. 
Then he realizes that he's seen her before, and he stops in his tracks, trying to pinpoint where exactly he'd recognized her gorgeous face from.
"Do I know you?" Lewis questions confidently.
Clem halts, her lips puckering in as she squints at the unfamiliar man. "Sorry, Sir. I don't think so."
She surely doesn't recognize him.
And then it clicks, he snaps. "My photographer, Timothy McGurr!"
"Oh wow," she smiles. "I love Timmy. You said he's your photographer?" 
"Yes, for the last four years."
"Wow, four years." She marvels, "You model?"
"No." He laughs, shaking his head, "I race cars."
"Nascar?" She wonders, tilting her head to the side.
"Formula One." He corrects, and she hums, impressed.
"I've heard serious things about you guys over there. Anyhow, it was nice meeting you," she trails off, allowing him to introduce himself.
"Lewis." He sticks his hand out, "Lewis Hamilton."
As she shakes his hand, her phone lights up with a notification just as a black SUV pulls in. "That's me. It was a pleasure meeting you Mr, Hamilton." She smiles kindly, and then she slips into the vehicle and rides off into the night. 
Lewis stands there for a second. He doesn't know why, but he feels drawn to her for some reason.
The very next morning, he called his photographer for her details. Lewis has always been rather bold, so he isn't nervous when he dials her number. "Hi, Clementine?"
And the rest was history.
Lewis has learned one specific thing about Clem since their rendezvous began. She was an intense person. She liked to talk about any and everything. Lewis didn't mind it, though. It was nice to unpack with someone he knew wouldn't judge him.
She had a way of making anything she asked feel deep. Lewis was both enamored and intimidated by that.
Just as she was intuitive, she was equally as open. Lewis knew he could always bounce the question back to her, and she'd give him the most well-thought-out and theoretical answer. 
He loved listening to her talk just as much as he loved fucking her. 
"Do you ever get tired?" He ricochets.
"All of the time, and it's sad because I'm still so young, but I often wonder if any of this is even worth it. Is slaving away so hard going to be worth it in the future if I've spent my glory days basking in trying to find glory."
"I have faith in you, Clem. You're already lightyears ahead of the rest of us with that mind of yours."
She chuckles, and they bask in the comfortable silence for a while longer, both looking up at the ceiling of his New York penthouse like they're staring out into the galaxy.
"Do you feel like you have enough glory?"
"No," he answers honestly, "I won't be content until I reclaim my eighth." 
From the corner of his eye, he sees her head lull to the side and stare at him. Lewis doesn't get uncomfortable when Clem stares at him like he does when most people do. The idea of her reading into him is flattering more than unsettling.
"If you weren't a driver, what would you want to be?"
"A designer of all sorts, really. Music, fashion, you name it." He lists off, and she lets out an mhhm sound. 
"I can actually see that. You have a very creative mind." She praises.
"What about you? What would Clementine Russell be doing right now if she wasn't an actress?"
She chuckles, "Well, for starters, I wouldn't be naked in your bed. I'd probably be somewhere in the middle of nowhere, like Montana." She gasps, "Yeah, Montana! And I'd have a farm full of animals that I'd never eat, and I'd go out and sit and paint or write more stories that no one would ever see. If I could go back in time, I'd just write my stories, not play in them. I would hike the same mountain every day and watch the sunset. Yeah, I'd sit and watch the sunset every day and admire how beautiful everything becomes. "
For some reason, that statement holds a more significant sentiment than she intended.
"You sure do have a way with words."
"I try." 
Silence falls over that pair again until she breaks it.
"Do you think I'm annoying?"
"No, never." Lewis reveals, "I actually like having you here to talk to; why do you ask?"
"Sometimes I feel like I talk too much and ask too many questions."
"I think you make people feel seen when you ask questions the way you do." He hums. "Do people ask you questions?"
"No, not really." 
"Do you wish people asked you questions, Clem?"
"Yes."
That's when Lewis realizes that all that glimmers isn't gold. Clementine Walker had the life of a star. She could do anything she wanted at any given time. Yet she wasn't content with her life. She was actually rather lonely. 
"I write scripts for myself to act out when I want to talk about something." She chuckles dryly. "That's pathetic."
And suddenly, Lewis feels terrible for not asking the woman more questions. He feels like a shit person for receiving her and giving her nothing in return. Clementine was better than therapy for him; who gave therapy to her?
"What if we lay in bed after every meetup and we just talk? I consider you to be a friend Clem. I like listening to you. I like hearing about you, too."
"Okay."
"We can start now?"
"You first." She has a giddy smile on her face as she turns over to face him.
"Why do you think you feel everything so deeply?"
She hums, her eyes casting downward as she allows the question to ruminate. 
"I expect everything to be meaningful. I have a hard time seeing anything objectively. Everything has to mean something to me, and if it doesn't, what's the point? If it has no purpose, how am I supposed to accept it? I feel so deeply because every word, action, and situation has to mean something; there has to be a reason behind it. I've never had someone tell me that things weren't that deep; I wasn't taught to brush things off; I was taught to feel and to try to understand everything and everyone."
"I think that's beautiful. You're such a gracious being, you know that?"
She whispers a quiet thanks as she thinks over what to ask him.
"What's one thing you lost as a kid that you wish you could get back?"
"I had a remote-controlled big Homer car when I was a kid, and I used to drive it in the park every day. I got distracted one day and left without it; when I came back the next day, it was gone."
"Who gave it to you?" Clem inquires, and when Lewis turns onto his side to face her, she looks so intrigued by what he has to say. He doesn't think anyone has ever cared so much for what he has to say if it wasn't involving his career.
"My dad, for my sixth birthday. We were poor, so it meant a lot to me; I really cherished it. Felt like I took it for granted, I loved that car so much, but I left it. How could I forget something that important to me?"
Naturally, Lewis opens up to Clementine.
"You can love something and still lose it, which illustrates how much you adore it in the end. You never really know how much you appreciate something until you no longer have it." Clem enlightens.
Lewis wonders how her brain can process such complex thoughts in mere seconds.
"What have you lost?"
"A letter from my dad." Clem hums. "When he was in prison before things got bad with my mom and he stopped reaching out, I was turning eight, and he sent this beautiful card. It was Clementine orange, and when you opened it, a three-dimensional cake popped out with like a million yellow candles. I remember it saying these candles don't compare to the light you brought to the world on this day many years ago." Clem chuckles as she describes the elaborate birthday card. She picks at Lewis' sheets as she speaks.
He sees her lips pressed together, and she turns to face the ceiling again. She doesn't seem like she intends to keep talking.
"I'm listening, y'know. I'd love to hear more." Under the covers, his hand travels down until it catches hold of Clems. 
"I-um, He wrote his message in like really elegant cursive, and I was a kid at the time, so I had my grandpa read it to me over and over, like every day, until I had fully memorized it. I had never seen my dad in person. I had never heard his voice, not even over the phone. I had never even gotten a letter from him before. Still, the things he wrote in that letter were beautiful. I remember feeling a little less lonely as if he loved me unconditionally. There were dried tears embedded in the paper material. I knew he cried as he wrote it, and that made me feel like, damn, this is a man who means what he says, feels exactly what he writes. I don't know when I lost that letter or how I just knew when I went for it again. It was nowhere to be found. I'm forgetting the words he wrote to me."
"Have you heard from him since?"
"Once but not directly. When I turned fifteen, he was released. He felt like he wouldn't know how to be a father when he got out. Which I understood. I can't force anyone to have a relationship with me. It must’ve been hard going in when your child is an infant and coming out to her fully bloomed. He cried on the phone to my grandpa every time he argued with my mom. She'd say nasty things to him, like how he'd never be a father to me and how I was better off. I figured when you're locked in a cell, and all you can think about is going home to your child, it must’ve been hard to hear that you would never account for anything. I believe he gave up. Not everyone is strong enough to take on that kind of mental battle."
Even as Clementine describes how fucking sucky her childhood was, she is still showing grace to the people who ruined her innocence.
"He never asked to speak to me during these calls. My mother always kept him at a distance when he was in prison. If he had written more letters than the one he sent to my grandpa, like he wrote that he did, I never got them. She was good at telling him that she didn't want him in my life. I don't blame her either; neither of them was ready to be parents. I got a call on my eighteenth birthday. It was just breathing on the other side for a while. I had a feeling it was him, so I didn't hang up, but it was a gravely voice on the other end and he sounded a little choked up. Said the exact same line from my birthday card, I'm not sure if you like cake, but eat a lot of it today princess. Happy birthday. And then the call disconnected. Kind of fucked me up a little bit because I think I was just getting to a point where I was finally okay with not having parents."
"I'm sorry." Lewis solaces. 
"It's cool, builds character." She jokes dropping her elbow and lying completely on her side.
"I pride you on your gracefulness, truly."
"My grandpa always told me that if you can find grace in failings, life becomes more beautiful. If you can find grace in every situation, eventually, those graces will catch up to you. Everyone deserves to have grace; who am I to hold something above someone else because of how it made me feel? You never know what made someone act the way they did. In the end, it may have affected them more than me, but as long as I'm gracious and I consider these kind of things to be a possibility it makes it easier for me."
Lewis thinks back to all the times he handled situations without grace, when he allowed himself to blow up over small things, and how, in the end, it made situations worse than they needed to be. He internally hums at the realization.
"Shit." 
She is shuffling from his bed, sheets clutched tightly against his chest. 
She gracefully moves around his room, the sheets fitting her like a gown. Lewis props himself up on one arm, watching her gather her belongings. 
When she tosses the sheet back onto the bed, he watches as she pulls on her pants and steals his button-up to throw over her thin tank top.
She sits on the edge of his bed, throwing on her worn Adidas sambas. 
"It's been a blast, Sir Hamilton." She bows, and he softly launches a pillow at her. She catches it with a sweet grin and places it at his feet. "I have to be on set early tomorrow. My assistant sent a car for me."
"I'll call you when I'm back in town," he suggests, and she nods, letting out a noise of agreement as she saunters over to his bedroom door. 
"Be safe out there on the track." She blows him a kiss, and then she is gone, and he hears his front door close gently. 
Lewis likes spending time with Clem. She has a way of taking every ounce of stress from his bones.
Lewis wasn't a relationship kind of guy, and he liked that Clem understood that. She wasn't trying to force a relationship on him or was convinced she could change his mind. 
Clem was there for the great sex and the even better conversations. The two of them had made great friends out of each other, and they were both content with the status of their association.
Lewis never told Clementine this, but he liked watching her work. He liked how she could put out art, and he could resonate with it. Lewis thinks that Clem is the most emotionally intelligent person he's ever met, which is why everything she puts her hands on just works.
And it shows. Clementine is the kind of person whose words sound like they're straight from classic literature. She has a way of speaking that instantly captivates every person in her proximity.
Clementine was a Jill of trades. She liked to act, but she was an even better writer. This is why she was awarded co-director of her award-winning show after helping to direct only three episodes. He knew she had a knack for all things creative. She liked to draw, paint, and read, and she had a thing for tattoos just as much as he did.
Clementine was actually so fucking cool.
People loved her naturally; she only had to be herself, and it made people gravitate towards her. 
Being around Clem was like having the hands of an angel on you. It was impossible to feel troubled, even if you were going through the most unfortunate or stressful circumstances. If you had Clem, trust you'd feel nirvana.
Her words echo in his mind. I write scripts for myself to act out when I want to talk about something.
He switches on his television and clicks on the Netflix app. It's the first option under his 'continue watching' category, and he presses resume. 
Lewis loved her show, though he never admitted it. It was artsy and different than what was new and hot now. Clem channeled all of her favorites to make this show. He remembers her describing her obsession with Jim Carrey and The Truman Show. Her favorite movie of all time was Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, and her favorite character also shared her name. 
He knew that Clementine cried when she read Tuesdays with Morrie, just like she did when she watched Requiem for a Dream. She had an odd obsession with The Joker movie and was even more obsessed with the lore of how each Joker is portrayed differently. She always saw herself in Charlie, from the perks of being a wallflower.
She rewatched What's Eating Gilbert Grape at least once a week. If you asked her, Tim Burton was the best director in the world, and she had a special connection to Edward Scissorhands. She also loved anything with a narrator.
She was right. It makes you feel each character a little bit more to hear their every thought.
He now knows that she likes to narrate her own show because she likes to talk about what she feels. No one asks her how she feels.
Everything that Clem likes is so deep and complex, and it fits her perfectly. 
He must admit that he had never heard of any of these shows, movies, or books before meeting Clementine. But seeing how passionately she described them had him desperate to enlighten himself. He sees the inspiration of it all in her show. 
Every episode starts with a question. Clem appears facing away from the camera, an oversized Carhartt denim jacket adorning her frame. He sees that she is sitting on a mountain, a camera held to her face, taking pictures of the most scenic view he's ever seen.
Her voice emerges through the speaker, yet her mouth is unmoving.
"You can go anywhere in the world under one condition. You'd have to stay there forever, everything unchanged and nothing new will ever come. Where do you choose?"
The camera is still panned out but moves to the side, where he views her relaxed frame from the side. As the camera zooms in she breaks the fourth wall, turning to face the camera. The sky is oddly vividly blue in the background and the clouds are all weirdly perfect. 
"Probably here."
As the sun sets, the sky adorned in perfect warm hues, she sets the camera beside her and folds her hands in her lap. She turns to face the beautiful view, and she looks more content with life than she's ever seen.
Her voice rings through the speaker again as the camera pans out, and her body begins to look smaller and smaller against the vast sky.
"You can still see the sunset even on the darkest of days.”
-
The next time Lewis sees Clem is at her the Cannes movie festival.
She is obviously the lady of the hour, and he's had a hard time catching up with her. 
When he finally does see her, his breath hitches as she maneuvers through the crowd and away from the red carpet in a very elaborate gown. She looks like a princess.
Like she can feel his eyes on her, her head turns and she sees Lewis standing amongst a group of other celebrities. 
There are three people surrounding her. Zeus, her bodyguard, SK her assistant and finally her publicist Nia.
She approaches him, ready to greet him with a wide grin; Lewis has a grin of his own covering his face as he steps ahead of the group.
"Lewis, Hi!" She pitches, raising her arms to hug him; he happily accepts her embrace, wrapping his own around her frame. 
"Can't wait to see you on the big screen." He boosts, and she smiles up at him, ready to reply, when a hand clamps down over her wrist and begins pulling her away, "Sorry, got to keep going, Clem."
She offers him a rushed smile, lifting her dress so that she can exit with speed. Lewis has never once felt like the fan in a situation until it came to Clem.
"So the movie is going to be about cannibalism?" His friend asks, looking through the pamphlet.
"No," Lewis combats. "I mean, yes, but it's deeper than that, the flesh represents..." and he drones on describing the lore of her new movie, Bones and All.
His description is almost word for word the way you described it to him after he asked the same exact question.
"So it's a movie about eating people?"
Clementine laughed, shaking her head, and moved to sit against his headboard. Her skin was still flushed from their previous actions, and her mouth was dry. 
"Cannibalism is just the placeholder for many different vices. Everyone has their vices. By using something that damn near everyone looks down on, the symbolism of just how serious these issues are get understood tenfold. Think of it like this, you get mental illness from one parent, and the other denies that you have it. They believe you're perfect, nothing is wrong, but deep inside, there is this illness growing in you and festering out of control that you can't get help for, that won't be accepted."
"Imagine being homosexual, imagine not being able to express that, especially in the eighties; it becomes a bliss you have to satisfy in private. Something you must keep a secret, or something bad will happen to you. Some vices are passed on, like alcoholism or addiction, and even trauma can be passed on, like mental illness; it's about how you have to hide it all, how it catches up to you, and how it ruins you. If you watch it, think about that, Lewis. Think about what each character represents. What is the flesh they're eating?"
Lewis cries during the movie. He sees that he is not the only one as the lights illuminate the cinema, and there are no dry eyes in sight. Lewis would never understand how Clem was able to have such a complex mind and also make it so simple and still artistic to the point where anyone could understand.
Lewis usually hates being forced to attend film festivals. He especially dreads the standing ovations that drag on and on. But he graciously stands for the entire seventeen minutes that her movie receives. 
He's always told Clem that, at a certain point, she'd have to let that humbleness go. Lewis was a humble person, there was nothing wrong with it, but he didn't like that Clem thought she didn't deserve praise for her work. He wanted her to know she was the shit. 
He feels his heart swell with pride as she marvels at the cheers, whoops, whistles, and applause. 
He places his fingers between his lips, letting out a whistle of his own. It dominates the space, and she turns to face him like she knows it is him.
Clementine's grin grows impossibly larger, and she lifts her arm to wave at Lewis. He spreads his arms out in front of him and bows at her.
Clementine chuckles, shaking her head at him. 
Although she attends the film festival every year, this was her first time presenting her work as a director. This was a huge deal to her. Not only was she the star actress in the film, but this was hers. Her work, her words, her art, and people loved it and understood.
As two more dreamy minutes pass on and the cinema falls into an air of collective chatter, she folds her hands over her heart and speaks to her fellow costars. 
"Holy fucking shit," Timothee curses, "do you understand that we just got a nineteen-minute standing ovation?" He places her head between his hands, pulling it towards him and placing a kiss in her hair. "Fuck, Clem. You're a fucking creative genius, you know that?"
-
When Clementine finally got used to people she realized that she actually does like parties. Here she was being celebrated by people, some she knew, some she didn't all the way in France. 
She is in a mansion in France, fresh off the red carpet, throwing back shots with every pat on the back. There is a thrill in being praised, and with each pat on the back or congratulatory kiss on the cheek she gets, she feels herself levitating.
When Clementine first got the idea for the movie, she stayed awake for twenty-four hours, holed up in her bedroom, typing away at her keyboard as she planned and created rough drafts of a proposal. 
If you asked Clem, she doesn't think that she's a creative genius like everyone else believes. She thinks that she materializes how she feels into forms of art that people will understand. She doesn't sit and think long and hard or even look for targeted things to express. She just knows. 
Clem wanted to write a movie for those she felt had been denying themselves. For the kids confused about their feelings and things they can't control. From alcoholism, sexual identity, mental illness, addiction, and all the way to feeling lonely and navigating life on your own. She wanted to make a movie that materialized how it feels to come of age without understanding the purpose of life. And she'd done it.
Clem wouldn't say she was particularly close to any of the people here at the afterparty, minus Timothee. They had grown very close since filming together. 
Clem actually wouldn't say she was close to many people at all other than her small, tight-knit group of friends and, of course, Lewis. Which is ironic because their entire relationship is built on the basis of sex. 
She can't lie; when she first met Lewis, she was instantly attracted to him. He had a certain kind of charm about him that just screamed, You're going to respect me.
Clem liked that Lewis stood ten toes behind what he believed, always. She liked that he was genuinely a kind person and not just pretending for the media. What he put out was actually who he was, and Clementine wasn't used to seeing that in the celebrity world. 
Lewis fully intended to be friends with Clementine when he called her that first night, but the longer they were in each other’s presence, the more obvious it was to sense the lingering sexual tension between them.
Clem wasn't offended when Lewis admitted that he wanted to sleep with her and keep her around without the formalities of a romantic relationship.
In fact, she was fine with it. 
She didn't judge him when he explained how he wasn't a relationship kind of guy. She listened intently when he described how demanding his job was, and she even hummed along in agreement when he concluded that sex can sometimes just be fun.
It'd been two years since she first met Lewis; she was older and more mature. More demanding of herself. 
She was learning to let things go as the days passed and let things come when the world felt. 
She feels like she's gotten to know herself better, and she owes a lot of that to the nearly 40-year-old driver who has taken the time to unravel parts of her that no one else bothered. 
So when she sees Lewis walk through the grand entrance now dressed in a far more casual outfit than the black Louis Vuitton tuxedo that adorned his frame earlier, she can't help the way her smile makes her eyes crinkle.
She rushes from the bar, slipping past the guests, crowding the home, and speeds up the stairs as fast as her heels can take her. 
She lets her dress fall at her feet as she tosses on her own less formal outfit and descends the stairs again in search of her friend.
He sees her first, perched on the stairs with a concentrated face, and he chuckles at just how focused she looks. Her eyes are scanning the crowd, and he waits patiently until her eyes catch his.
When they finally meet, he raises his hand in a cool wave, and she grins, skipping down the stairs. He raises his brows when she finally makes it to him after being stopped time and time again by other partygoers.
"Lady of the hour, huh?" He jokes, pulling her into him. 
"I don't even know these people," she whispers, smiling softly and offering a wave as a drunken man passes by and calls out her name. She turns back to Lewis with fogged eyes, "Timothee wanted to throw an afterparty, so here we are."
"You have been celebrating?"
"I've taken a few shots or so." She smiles, "Can we get out of here?"
Lewis nods, "Yeah, of course."
His hand travels down and takes her own, leading her from the full house. "Where do you want to go, love?"
"Anywhere is fine; just want to be far away from people." She sighs.
Lewis peers down at her, watching as she scours the long driveway.
He motions her to his car and she slips from his hold already pacing towards it. She hops into the passenger side when she hears the car unlock and he plops down into the drivers seat.
"Why are you here in France? You didn't tell me you'd be here." Clem inquires as Lewis places his phone into her lap so that she can play music. He always preferred her music taste when they rode in the car late at night.
"I wanted to see the movie and support my friend." He smirked.
"You have to be in Monaco tomorrow!" she gasps. " You can't do that, Lew. You need rest. When did you even get here?"
"I touched down today after qualifying."
"No." Clem disapproves, "I could’ve just gotten you tickets to the premier. You must be so tired." 
Lewis shakes his head, "M'fine. Besides, I wanted to be one of the first people to see it." Which was a lie because he was totally exhausted. 
"Early flight tomorrow, then?" Clem asks.
Lewis only nods, already knowing her eyes are set on him. Frank Ocean begins to play through his speakers, and he hums along to the song playing. It brings upon his next thought.
"I say you posting in the studio?" He eyes, "Let me find out Clemy girl about to be in the booth spitting."
She laughs shaking her head, "not even, I was just there with Tyler. Did record a few vocals for him though."
"Maybe one day you should, I don't know, release something of your own."
Clem scoffs, "I know you think I can do everything. We're not all great at everything."
"It's true, do you think you can do it all, besides I've heard you singing in the shower; sounds nice."
"So you wait outside of the bathroom listening to me, creep."
He smacks his teeth, removing one hand from the wheel to blindly mush her.
"I'm serious, though. I think you have a beautiful voice."
"Thank you. Maybe one day we'll both stop playing in the studio and do something together." She chortles, "So I guess what I'm saying is, I'll do it if you do."
Lewis smirked, nodding his head. "Deal."
Lewis takes her back to his hotel for the night. He smiles as he watches her from the living room. She is on the balcony, arms spread along the banister. 
He approaches her. Like she can sense his presence, she speaks up, "Beautiful, isn't it?"
He doesn't bother looking out to the view. He keeps his eyes on her. "Yeah, very beautiful."
Sometime in the night, the two of them ended up entangled in his bed, both on their sides, as Lewis thrust into her from behind. One of his arms is outstretched and serving as a pillow for her neck, and the other is wrapped around her waist, holding onto her hand as he moves deeper and deeper into her warmth. 
He knows that when she squeezes around him for that final time, he's as good as done for, sheathing himself as far as he can get; his mouth drops open as he releases himself in heavy spurts. Clem exhales as he finishes, her grip on his hand loosening slightly. 
Lewis doesn't bother to remove himself from her core; the arm nestled between the crook of her neck and shoulder bends until his hand is cupping her jaw and forcing her head back towards him, where he is leaning over her shoulder. He smashes his lips against hers in a searing peck, one after the other, until he holds his mouth against hers. She opens her mouth, and their tongues glide against each other in perfect harmony. 
Finally, they pull apart to breathe, and Lewis pulls out with a hiss. They both fall onto their backs, his taken arm still resting beneath her head and his free arm holding their conjoined hands against his chest.
"It gets better and better every time." She admits, and Lewis lets out his signature boyish laugh, turning to face Clem. She is taking the time to catch her breath, a happy, satisfied grin covering her face as she stares up at nothing.
It's like a scene from a movie. The curtains flowed gently against the wind, and the night sky of Cannes was illuminated by stars blazing through his open balcony doors. Clem's exquisite side profile is the main focus.
He reaches over, pulls his phone from the nightstand, and slyly takes a picture before dropping his phone beside him and reconnecting their hands. 
"I should go," Clem announces with a sigh. "You have an early morning ahead of you."
"You don't have to go." Lewis tested, "It's late."
"It's always late when we're together, Lewis." Clem reminds.
"I- Just stay the night. It doesn't have to be weird. We know what we're doing."
He feels her head turn against his head and knows that she's looking at him with those same endearing eyes. "Okay," she whispers into the air.
"Besides, we haven't talked." Lewis murmurs, and Clem smiles. "Can't break the ritual. You remember when I asked you where you would be if you weren't you, and you said Montana?"
Clem hums in agreement. "Yeah, what about it?"
"Think we should go one day, you and me. See those animals; climb that mountain."
Clem wills back the tears burning behind her eyes. That conversation occurred two months into their arrangement, and two and a half years later, here he was, bringing up small details to a dream she'd told him about briefly. 
"What?" Lewis murmurs, watching her grin.
"Nothing, just surprised you remembered that, is all."
"I remember everything you say to me, Clementine."
"I'd love to go to Montana with you," she whispers after a while. "It's the prettiest in spring." 
"Well, we'll go next spring then." Lewis declares.
Clem smiles against against his arm, placing a peck there. "Deal, if you're not sick of me by then, we'll climb that mountain in Montana."
Lewis turns back towards the celing hoping she can't tell that her simple actions had his face burning and had his blood rushing. 
"You know in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind when they're laying on the ice?"
"Yeah, Clem." Lewis chuckles. "We've watched it a million times."
"That's what it feels like laying here right now with you."
"Thank you." Lewis grins.
"Her hair was blue." Clem points out. "Her hair changed colors to represent their relationship. Why do you think it was blue?"
"They were starting over. Maybe she was still down about erasing him."
"Huh," Clem sighs, "that's a good take." 
"Shower?"
"With you?" She wonders.
"If you're okay with that."
 "I just let you fuck me into oblivion. Why not let you clean me up."
Much cleaning hadn't gone down in the shower. 
clementine
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clementine the best week, the most perfect week.  
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lewishamilton Amazing movie 🙌🏽 such a deep message.
tchalamet And she's done it again people.
badgalriri Such a beautiful film, queen. ❤️
pharell, You're a literal artistic genius; I look forward to working with you in the future.
user Clemmy + Timmy. The duo we didn't know we needed.
-
As Lewis saunters around the hotel room quietly the next morning, he keeps a cautious eye on the girl in his bed. He trips over his discarded shoe as he focuses on not waking her up. He mentally facepalms himself as she begins to stir.
Clem sits up, dazed and groggy; she clutches the sheets to her chest as she peers at Lewis, who looks like a deer caught in headlights. 
"Good morning," he winces, "Sorry, I was packing my suitcase back up, didn't mean to wake you."
"It's fine," she rasps, reaching over to grab her phone and checking the time. When she sees that it's seven in the morning, she internally groans but slides her legs off the side of the bed to get ready to pack herself up.
"Woah, hey-" Lewis is by her side in an instant. "Where you going, love?"
Clem pauses, still half asleep she examines him through puffy eyes. "Your flight is at 8:30, right? You're about to head out."
Lewis nods but lifts her legs back onto the bed. "Yeah, but checkout is not until twelve." 
When he realizes that she is still glancing at him in confusion, he sits on the bed beside her. "You can stay here, Clem; get some rest before you get on the road. I'll leave the room key with you. Just let them know you're checking out for the king suite."
He laughs as she furrows her brows. "Don't make it weird." he reiterates from last night. 
She lets her head fall back against the pillows, more than happy to return to her slumber.
"How long are you going to be in Monaco?"
"About a week." 
Clem tried not to think too deeply about his big palm spread over her thigh, his thumb caressing it so tenderly.
"Oh." She mutters, "and then Canada?"
Lewis chuckles, his hand coming up to hold her jaw tenderly, his thumb caressing her cheek. "Look at you," he chuckles, "got my schedule memorized, huh?"
Clem feels the familiar burning in her face as she suppresses her shy smile. "Oh, please." she scoffs. "We've been at this for two years. Of course, I remember the times you begged me to hop on your plane and fly to you so that you could get your rocks off."
Lewis smirks, "Look at that, caught a flight to you this time." And he's bending down and smearing his mouth against hers. He dominates the kiss, his large hand on her jaw keeping her in place for him to use her mouth as he pleases. "Mhmm." he groans pulling away. 
"Wanna stay with you here all day, Clem. But I've got a flight to catch." 
He is standing and bending over to press one last unexpected peck to her mouth and then her temple before he is at the end of the bed and latching onto his suitcase. 
"The keys on the table, okay? Go back to sleep, and order yourself some food for me when you wake up. And text me, okay?"
Clem sits up, still mind-boggled from the kiss, and nods her head. 
Lewis smiles, sending her a wave and easing out of the door.
Clementine nearly screams as the door clicks shut, and she hears his footsteps getting farther away.
Casually kissing wasn't a thing between them. Lewis was sweet, yes, but not once has he sat and caressed her and spoken so softly to her. She had never spent the night with him or fell asleep in his arms. And here he was, flipping her entire world upside down and telling her not to make it weird.
It's what she repeats to herself over and over throughout the day as the tender moments with Lewis replay in her head. 
He was just being a friend, of course he would show up to support her, right? Of course he wouldn't want her to be on the road late at night or extra early in the morning? And they've kissed before, only during sex but maybe he was wound up in the moment, they were friends with added benefits, did those benefits now include impromptu kisses?
She groans as she checks out from his room and hobbles into the waiting SUV where her assistant waits with her packed bags. "You had a time last night." SK teases as he takes in his boss' disheveled appearance. 
"Shut up." Clem grunts, buckling herself in. 
SK raises his hands in surrender and then gets back to typing away on his phone. Clem lets her forehead drop against the window as she drives through the beautiful French city. 
"Hey, SK?" When he lets out a noise to signal he's listening, she asks him for a favor. "If I asked you to find something for me and get it sent to Monaco, do you think you could get it there before the end of the week?"
SK smacks his teeth, "Girl, please, do you know who you're talking to? I could have it there tomorrow."
"You're the best, SK." she smiles.
"Don't I know it. What is it you need me to get my hands on."
-
Sure enough, the next morning, Lewis is interrupted by a knock on his door as he clips on his jewelry. 
He saunters over to the door his pants hung low and shirtless, swinging open the door to reveal the butler that the hotel provided. When his eyes travel south he see's the luxurious gift box in his hands.
"For you, Sir Hamilton. Delivered early today, pre-approved by your assistant."
Lewis thanks the man, motioning for him to hold still for a second as he rushes to retrieve some hefty bills from his wallet. 
He pulls the box from his outstretched hand and replaces it with the bills.
When Lewis closes the door and saunters over to the couch, he plops down and sets the box on the coffee table.
He pulls the stock card from underneath the black ribbon and smiles as he reads over it.
thank you for showing up for me, and congrats on yet another win.
- 🍊
He smiles and taps the card against the box a few times before deciding to open it. He lets out a surprised squawk as he lifts the lid and sees a packaged vintage Big Homer super buggy.
Lewis covers his mouth with his hands stuck between letting out a scream that would resemble a child on christmas day or a cry.
Clementine Russell, he thinks, the woman you are.
He pulls out his phone, snaps a picture of the gift, and sends it to her.
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halogalopaghost · 2 months
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#IM SO STRESSED IM SO STRESSED#I feel like I'm not handling ANYTHING well rn#so many people have symptoms that are WAAAAAAY fucking worse and they're like. working full time jobs and being a parent and shit and#I'm like waaah oh no I have body aches and chronic fatigue looks like I'll have to be unemployed and never do anything ever 💀#how am I gonna live?? like. my parents are taking care of me and I'm so fucking glad but#SOMEDAY THEY WONT BE AROUND and that stresses me out so bad#I'm 25 years old and I NEED my mom every day if not physically then emotionally because I'm a little bitch baby that can't do anything for#herself. im having a hard time feeding myself I'm having a hard time keeping my living space clean#I'm not taking care of anything except the dogs sometimes and my lizard and she's not getting as much attention as she used to#I need a job and I need to be able to suck it up and DO THINGS but I feel like I'm not the person u was anymore#I was strong and I could push thru things and make myself do things and now I can't???? I just lay on the fucking couch!! and feel bad abtit#is it the tism. is it the ADHD. what about the chronic depression. how bout the fibromyalgia?#and the thing is that ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE MILD#I don't have severe pain (yet).#I just can't handle it I don't WANT to handle it#so. shoutout to my mom I guess because if it wasn't for her I simply wouldn't be alive#I feel like I've never been happy!! why can't I just be content and be happy!!!!#I have no fucking reason to be unhappy!!!!!!
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arkhammaid · 2 months
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— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE SIREN'S CALL.
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fandom. formula one
pairing. oscar piastri x fem!reader (fc: none)
about. y/n is a professional mermaid and oscar is her greatest admirer
content warnings. social media au spanning over a long time, not edited/proofread
notes. i got one of those aesthetic professional mermaid tiktoks on my fyp at like 2am... the idea has been stuck in my head since then lol
YOURUSERNAME
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liked by mermaidaquilla, oscar piastri and 1'788 others
yourusername Conquering the big seas with my new mermaid tail. Super excited for the big show this weekend🧜‍♀️
mermaidaquilla gorgeous pictures, the color really suits you <3
⤷ yourusername thank you, aquilla 🫶 we need to go for a dive soon!
⤷ mermaidaquilla oh for sure, let me know when you have time :)
user you're incredible, y/n
user oh my god these pictures are insane??
user i can't wait for the show, going to an aquarium just for you!
⤷ yourusername ahh, thank you so much for your support darling 💗
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YOURUSERNAME
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liked by mermaidaquilla, oscarpiastri and 35'023 others
yourusername Happy (future) World Oceans Day! @/mermaidaquilla and I'll be doing a special show on June 8th, streaming on several platforms to raise awareness and money for our oceans 🌊 We await your attendance, tell your friends and family about it!
mermaidaquilla so happy to do this show with you love!
⤷ yourusername me as well, i'm so honored we will do this together 🥹
user oh my god, collab of my dreams finally come true
⤷ user so happy for y/n to be recognized by the bigger creators!
user marking the day on my calendar!
user my daugher loved you in your last show, thank you for brining magic a bit closer to us
user hold on, what is oscar doing in her likes...
⤷ user who??
YOURUSERNAME
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liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 100'244 others
yourusername I've started diving when I was just a little girl and now my job is my child hood dream... I'm a mermaid and belong to the seas. I'm so thankful for all the support I've received, hopefully to many years to come with Mermaid Y/n 💕🪸
mermaidaquilla your journey is incredible, i admire you so much for your drive, you're the mermaid of my dreams. so happy for you that you've made it love!
⤷ yourusername without you it wouldn't have been possible!! i can only thank YOU for being my biggest supporter since the beginning 💗
user every time i'm blown away by the pictures you post
user thank you for making the mermaid community bigger!
user MOTHER Y/N WE'RE SO PROUD
user mother is mothering FR
user HOLD ON WHY IS THERE A MAN ON THE LAST SLIDE??
⤷ user so i'm not the only one who noticed??? is this an official soft launch????
⤷ user i think so? y/n never posted someone without tagging them..
⤷ user our mermaid found her merman 😭
oscarpiastri Congratulations, y/n. You absolutely deserve it 👏
⤷ user OSCAR COMMENTED!!! I REPEAT, OSCAR COMMENTED!!!
⤷ user oh he's brave
⤷ user you mean more like he finally got his shit together. this is his first comment ever after being a whole year in her likes 💀
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OSCARPIASTRI
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, logansargeant and 1'983'034 others
oscarpiastri "She's everything and I'm just Ken."
yourusername But you're very good at car, love 🫶
⤷ oscarpiastri At least that 🫡
user OSCAR HAS A GF, I REPEAT, OSCAR HAS A GF AND SHE'S PRETTY!!!
user omg barbie y/n and her clumsy ken, i love this
landonorris congrats mate!
logansargeant FINALLY!
⤷ oscarpiastri You're acting as if we just came together...
⤷ logansargeant Well, it did take you long enough
user my new fav wag
⤷ user fr, no one can beat a mermaid
user HE FINALLY BAGGED THE GIRL!!
⤷ user took him over a year in the likes.. i feel so proud
user hold on... DOES ANYONE REMEMBER LUCY'S THREAD ABT THE BIRTHDAY PARTY IN JANUARY WITH Y/N AS MERMAID
⤷ user WAIT I THINK YOU'RE ACTUALLY ONTO SMTH
⤷ user are you saying that 'prince eric' is OSCAR MF PIASTRI???
⤷ user his sister is an icon if this is actually true
⤷ user someone give her an award for the greatest matchmaker of the decade (right after oscar and y/n receiving one of the greatest lovestory of the decade)
⤷ user childhood friends to lovers with a twist (only if the whole thing is true which i'm manifesting rn)
user my god the delusion some people have 💀
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taglist.@keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel , @aimixx , @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @lupicalbestwolf , @akiraquote , @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @namgification
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE TAGLIST? please send a non-anon ask to be added to the taglist. taglist can be general taglist (all fandoms and all works), fandom taglist (all works within the fandom), series (all works for specific series) or nsfw taglist (all nsfw works and all fandoms).
crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!
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ARKHAM MAID 2024
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exploring panic!'s a fever you can't sweat out/live in denver boxset
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a couple of years ago, i managed to snag this for $150, which is still crazy to me, and it's definitely my favorite thing i've ever owned. i feel like i haven't seen many people detailing the contents of it, and since it's such a cool relic, i wanted to share this beauty with everyone.
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it comes with the live in denver dvd (left) and a fever you can't sweat out cd (right). the cover art and discs are SO fucking pretty and cool i'm so obsessed with them. i love how it really feeds into that 20s/30s theme they had going on this era.
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then it has these 4 photo cards which are all such beautiful photos. the first one especially is one of my all time favorite panic photos. the b&w filter also fits this era so well.
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this is a phenakistiscope. you stand in front of a mirror and spin it around while looking through the cracks so it looks like the girl is dancing (instructions are included on the back).
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this is a tour program for the live in denver tour. it includes all the tour dates, as well as a guide to their discography. including pictures of the inside would exceed my image limit, so if anyone wants a post detailing this item, i'd be more than happy to post that!
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self explanatory but it's a mask reminiscent of the but it's better if you do music video.
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there's this SUPER cool poster that i'd love to hang up on my wall but i'm too scared to in case it ruins it. i'm actually so obsessed with this thing.
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this is something else i can't include detailed pictures of due to the image limit, but honestly there isn't a lot of lore or super interesting stuff inside of it. however, i'd still be happy to detail it more in another post.
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there's this GORGEOUS notebook that i'm also too scared to actually do anything with. it is actually quite a thick notebook. i looove the detail of the "PANIC!" barely visible in the middle of the pages.
now onto my absolute favorite part of this thing:
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these cards for each song on fever are SO fucking cool and i love them so much. they're printed on really nice material too; they don't feel cheap and have this grainy feel to them too (idk how else to describe it) and it works so well. luckily i'm able to post individual pictures of each one.
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so the back of all of them have the lyrics printed like that but i won't be able to post pictures of that for each one.
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they just all encapsulate the theme of each song perfectly while also fitting so well with the aesthetic that they had this era. like my jaw dropped when i saw these for the first time. (side note: i'm not sure why they numbered intermission as number 12 when it should be 8 based on the album. i also don't know why they skipped introduction since they included intermission).
all in all, this is the coolest piece of merch a band has ever put out imo. like no one is doing it like this anymore. i'd been yearning for it since i was 14 so i'm so glad i was able to find it as such a steal of a price. i'll never shut up about owning it and if you're able to get your hands on it i cannot recommend it enough.
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barcaatthemoon · 27 days
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peer pressure ii || lucy bronze x reader ||
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the aftermath of you sneaking out to go to a party.
you were pissed as you made your way to the locker room. your fists were clenched, knocking into every corner as you rounded it. most of the team had already arrived, but you had been held up by a fight with your parents. your last fight with your parents if you had anything to do with it. from the way things had been, you doubted that they'd let you back in even if you tried to come back.
"morning kiddo," frido greeted you happily. you didn't even look up at her as you made your way over to your cubby. everybody's eyes were on you, and alexia looked like she was about ready to tell you off about your attitude when frido and ingrid pulled her back. "it's okay, i can talk to her myself."
"bon dia (y/n)," patri said loudly. she made a show of speaking loud enough to make it impossible to ignore without validating a lecture from alexia. lucy smacked the back of patri's head as she walked past, stopping right in front of you.
"let's go for a walk," lucy said. she waited for you to get your boots on before she pulled you up and out of the locker room. everybody was watching the two of you, but not all with the same expression. the team had all heard about you sneaking out to the party, but not all of them knew what had actually happened. alexia seemed to be hung up on the fact that you had drank and smoked weed, even though it was all out of your system by the time that you had been tested.
"are you going to yell at me?" you asked. lucy shook her head as she led you outside of the facility. "what did you want to talk about?"
"when's the last time you went home?" lucy asked you. you shrugged, not really sure where home was anymore. it had been a few days since your parents kicked you out of the house, but you hadn't told anybody yet. all they needed to know right now was that you were fighting with your parents. "where have you been sleeping at night?"
"my car," you mumbled. lucy's eyes widened as the realization of what you said settled in. legally, you weren't allowed to drive for another two years. the fact that you had purchased a car was really just so that you would have something when your driving lessons started next year.
"did you drive it here?" lucy asked you. you nodded, suddenly feeling like you were about to get in major trouble. "when we get back inside, give me your keys. i'll have mapi or someone take it to their place. you can't drive around, especially not here! what if you got in a wreck or something?"
"i've been careful," you mumbled. lucy sighed as she put her arm around your shoulders. "i didn't know what else to do, they told me to leave, so i did. they kicked me out, lucy, and honestly, i don't want to go back. it was one party, one fucking party!"
"hey, it's okay," lucy said as she held you in her arms. you started crying, and she immediately started to soothe you. "you can stay with me, okay?"
"yeah, not like you'd take no for an answer," you chuckled. lucy hummed in agreement, glad that you weren't fighting her on this.
living with lucy proved to be the best thing for you. the stress of living with your parents was lifted off of your shoulders. they hadn't wanted you as their daughter, they wanted alexia. lucy was more than content for you to be yourself. she even went as far as to tell you whenever you'd been doing well in practice, and reassuring you whenever you had an off day. it was like night and day, as was your overall attitude.
for the first time in nearly a year, you were back to being the happy kid you had been whenever you first signed with the senior team. things were great, even if you still had a lot of tension with alexia. that wasn't something that would be fixed easily, if it ever would. other than that, everything was going great, which was why you weren't surprised when it suddenly went back again.
you had never gotten a start in an el classico match before. your teammates had warned you that real liked to play it aggressively against barcelona, so you were prepared. lucy had been taking you to the gym with her, which meant that you had really built up a lot of strength in the few months that you'd been living together. their players could knock into you all that they wanted, but it didn't do much to deter you.
"hey, there's someone in the stands waiting for you," ona said as she grabbed onto your elbow. you were scared for a moment that it would be your parents. the group of spanish players at the barrier crowded around jenni helped you to relax. your parents were nowhere in sight, and jenni sent you a questioning look. she remembered meeting your parents before, and they had been huge fans of the team, never missing a game.
"jenni!" you hopped up over the barrier and straight into her arms. she hugged you tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "i didn't know you were visiting."
"well, that would ruin the surprise. where are your parents? i wanted to say hi." jenni looked around the friends and family section. you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly, unsure of what you should say to her. "they're usually always here."
"i wouldn't know, we don't talk anymore," you muttered under your breath. you were standing close enough to jenni for her to hear you, but alexia should have been too far away. however, you could tell by the way that her face contorted that she had definitely heard you. "i don't live there anymore."
"what!" alexia exclaimed. you backed up to put some distance between the two of you, using jenni as a human shield as you did. "since when?"
"since they kicked me out. i don't want to talk about it, especially not with you of all people," you said. there was a bite to your voice that alexia hadn't heard in quite some time. you had definitely been distant with her, but it had been a long time since you had been snappy with her like that.
"after this, let's go to dinner, okay?" jenni suggested. you nodded before you raced off to shower and get changed.
"you know that alexia only acts like an ass because she cares about you, right?" jenni asked you. she had been trying to get you to talk about what happened, but you very obviously did not want to. "where have you been staying at?"
"lucy let me move in with her," you answered. jenni was relieved that it was someone responsible. alexia was the obvious choice, but there seemed to be some tension there that definitely hadn't been the last time jenni came to visit.
"did alexia have anything to do with you getting kicked out?" jenni asked. she was afraid of the answer, already having invited alexia to dinner. technically, it had always been her, alexia, mapi, and ingrid going out, but she had to invite you when she saw you at the game.
"not directly i guess, but it was hard living there when all they wanted was for me to be just like alexia. they thought i was too focused on things outside of football, so much so that they stopped letting me go to school. by the time i left, they only ever gave me my work whenever i asked to do something else instead," you said. jenni looked pissed as her grip tightened on the steering wheel. "i know that i shouldn't be mad at alexia, but i can't help it."
"i understand," jenni told you. she leaned over as the car came to a stop to press a kiss to your cheek. "come on, everybody's waiting for us."
"is alexia there?" you didn't even really need to ask. you knew that jenni hung out with alexia every single time that she came back to spain.
"alexia, olga, ingrid, and mapi are all there. don't worry though, i won't let alexia start anything," jenni promised. you sighed and followed her into the restaurant. almost immediately, mapi pulled you into a hug, going off about how sorry she was that she didn't know anything was up before. ingrid was quick to follow suit, but alexia stayed back, unsure of whether she was welcome to hug you or not anymore.
dinner was nice, even if it was a bit awkward because of alexia's silence. the woman was usually pretty quiet, but she had never gotten quiet like she was then. jenni, ingrid, and mapi worked on distracting you from the tension, but it didn't work. finally, olga seemed to have had enough and pushed for alexia to talk to you.
"you don't have to tell me where you're staying, but are you safe and happy?" alexia asked. you nodded, smiling a little as thought about all the things lucy now did to make sure of that. you were certain that ona had a big part in a lot of the movie and game nights that you got to frequently enjoy, as well as keeping you on your school work. you'd still graduate late because of all the things your parents let you miss, but because of lucy, you hadn't fallen too terribly behind.
"lucy takes care of me, and ona reminds her to let me have fun," you said. alexia seemed to relax a little at that, a small smile gracing her face. "i won't go back to them, no matter what you or anybody else tells me. i'd quit the team and run away before i went back."
"you are being taken care of, that's what matters. just, next time that something big happens, talk to me. i need to know these things because i'm your captain, but also because i care about you too. if you're hurting or something is bothering you, i want to know so that i can help you," alexia said. you swallowed back some tears, not having felt like alexia was truly in your corner for some time. she seemed to notice this and stood up and walked around the table. "i'm sorry that i haven't been a very good friend to you."
"it's okay, i don't make it easy," you mumbled against her shoulder.
you weren't sure which of the girls had texted lucy, but she greeted you at the door with open arms. you were led straight back to her bedroom, where ona was waiting with snacks and a movie loaded up. you let the two of them cuddle you, even if lucy pretended that she didn't want to.
"dinner go okay?" lucy asked as she ran her fingers through your hair.
"it went fine. alexia and i cleared things up," you told her. you knew that was what lucy really wanted to hear about. ona let out a happy hum at your news, glad that maybe things wouldn't be so awkward later on.
"that's good, you've been very mature about this," lucy complimented. you glanced up at her, absolutely beaming. lucy chuckled and shook her head as she wiped a bit of frosting from the corner of your mouth. "now, the two of you keep it down. i'm getting some well deserved rest."
"goodnight granny," you teased. lucy swatted at you, rolling her eyes as ona started laughing.
"don't encourage her," lucy grumbled.
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itsharleystuff · 11 months
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↳ 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄
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Gif not mine!
— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Joel Miller x afab!fem reader
— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7k
— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Ellie finds an old chessboard somewhere in Jackson and asks you to teach her how to play. Joel joins and isn’t too happy about losing three times against you.
— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), age gap (reader is in her mid twenties, Joel is early fifties), sex, p in v, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, use of whore (like once), pet names (darling, sweetheart, angel), multiple orgasms, they do it on the table, cum eating, bit of angst, insecure Joel, canon divergency, probably ooc Joel and Ellie, mentions of death and loss, alcohol consumption, confessing feelings. Let me know if I missed something!
a/n: this one’s a bit rushed but I wanted to post it before my birthday so I apologize if it isn’t great. Anyways, I’m writing a second Javi fic, so if you liked 𝐌Í𝐀 I’m certain you’re going to love the next one:)
no use of y/n
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
"You're cheating." Ellie rambles, standing up to get a better view of the board and analyze it from different angles. You can't help but giggle at her childish attitude, cause it truly brought a certain joy to the dynamic. "Hey! It's not funny."
"How could I cheat? You were watching my game the whole time." You defend you case, raising your hands in a sign of peace but gaining a glare from the girl.
"I don't know, you're the one who's teaching me." In that moment, you hear the crack of the front door opening, but none of you bother to stand and greet the main resident of the house, too busy in your own matters.
"Look, I'm playing fair. I am simply older and more experienced than you." Ellie grimaces and sits back on the chair, both arms crossed over her chest. "But try not to feel too bad. I've always been really good at chess."
Joel enters the dining room and walks right past you, going straight to the kitchen. You guess he's either going for a beer or to pour some whiskey into his favorite glass. Always the same routine every weekend: he would come home late with absolutely no explanations as to where he was, drink something strong and spend some time with both of you before heading to bed.
"You must be a really good strategist, then." She replies, amused. "I’ve heard this game is all about that. Strategies."
When you're about to respond, the man's heavy footsteps get closer as he comes to the room once again and leans back on the wall opposite to you, a glass of whiskey on his hand. His grayish hair is messy and his eyes seem to shine brighter under the warm light hanging over your heads when he looks at you intently. Often, he would appear exhausted after being off all day, but tonight it was different. Something about him was, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint it.
Ellie must've sensed a shift in the air, since she changed her approach in a second. "Joel, you're pretty ancient. I bet you know how to play."
You hold back your laughter at her mocking comment, reaching the board to rearrange the pieces. He cocked an eyebrow in her direction, straightening his posture nonchalantly.
"I'm more of a poker man," he retorts with a distant air, diverting his gaze to Ellie.
"Poker?" You frown as he comes your way, but doesn't take a sit just yet. "I didn't take you for a gambler, Miller."
He sets the glass down on the table, leaning over the chair next to you with a smirk. "M'not. There’s many ways of playing other than betting your money, f’you know what I mean.”
Your eyes widen at his response, taken aback. So he meant like… The one were you end up naked. “Now, I would’ve expected that from Tommy, but you? That’s a surprise.”
He shrugs, faded smile still on his lips.
You remembered what Ellie once told you, ‘he does that whenever you’re around,’ she had said in a meditative tone, ‘smile, I mean. It’s kind of creepy cause… y’know, he never does.’ Perhaps that’s why she acted differently every time you three were together.
“Yeah, whatever.” The girl grumbles. “Can you play chess or not? I need someone to take revenge for me.”
Joel takes a seat beside you, slowly, glancing over the board before sipping from his drink again. He looks back at Ellie, whose eyes were sparkling with excitement. The man sighs in defeat, well aware that he just couldn’t say no to her. A dad reflex, maybe, but it worked out in her favor and she’d take advantage of it as much as she could.
“Fine. I call black.” You nod in agreement and the younger one leans on her elbows for a better view. “Either way, I know you like making the first moves. Ain’t that right, darlin’?”
Your first reaction was almost choking on your own saliva. Honestly, how dare he say something like that in front of Ellie? Did he suddenly forget that she was fourteen and terribly clever? Had he lost his mind? Also, he never called you by anything other than your name whenever she was around, so this whole situation felt like a personal attack.
“You okay over there?” Ellie asked, slightly concerned at your incessant coughing.
“Yeah…” you give him a dirty look and press a hand to your chest, making the first move with a white pawn. “Could you bring me some water? I think my soul might’ve left my body.”
“Sure.” She quickly answers, standing up. Joel doesn’t say anything else, his mind focused only on the game now.
It had all happened last weekend.
Thinking in retrospective, your relationship with him had always been ambiguous. You couldn’t quite recall when he actually started talking to you and not just ‘bear with your presence’, nor when his invitations to come over to his place started coming from him and not Ellie.
At first, it was simply you and her. Bonding was easy, despite her sharp character. She looked up to you, for whatever reason that might be, and that smoothed things. Joel was a completely different story. He acted like you didn’t exist, as if you were merely another bug roaming his house. Though when he saw how good your friendship with Ellie was, his brusque behavior started to fade, or at least settle down somehow.
Sooner than later you started coming over to make dinner, or teach the teenager how to bake some of the recipes your grandmother had thought you -more like you’d do everything while she chatted to keep you entertained-. But truth be told, it became more of an excuse to see him.
Honestly, you were doomed since the very beginning. There was undeniably no way you would’ve been able to escape Joel Miller’s silent charm. His presence became a constant need to you, and you’d often find yourself relating certain things to him. Smoke, denim, pills, booze, watches and boots, to mention a few. To you, he was all gray and blue, merging in the best way possible.
You didn’t expect him to thank you for taking care of them. Them. Not just Ellie, him too. Or that he’d suddenly show up to places you would frequent, which made you wonder, could he possibly feel the same way? Sure, it could’ve been a simple coincidence… If it weren’t for the stolen looks you’d often share. Though his face rarely reflected any interest in you, his piercing gaze would frequently burn your skin every time you were hanging out with other men.
Two weeks ago, Maria had been held back from patrol due to her pregnancy, and you were called to fill up her place. The thing is, you were supposed to leave with Tommy, but somehow ended up with his older brother, riding at dawn in utter silence and searching for a prey to hunt. It wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, yet it allowed you to watch him more attentively: his broad shoulders and sturdy back, the dark graying hair that, in some way, made him more attractive. And then your mind, went to some… Darker places.
How would his big, manly hands feel cupping your breasts? Flashy images of his rough, calloused fingers pinching your nipples meandered your mind. His face buried between your legs, his mustache tickling your…
“You ‘kay there, sweetheart?” He had asked, abruptly taking you out of your freakish daydreaming. “You seem distracted.”
Well, that was a way of putting it. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…” you babbled, “I hate the rifle.” Joel glanced back at you with a stiff, confused expression. “If I shoot this thing, I’ll feel the kickback on my shoulders and back for at least two weeks from now.”
The horses were stagnant, waiting by the trees while you took a stroll nearby, keeping an eye for any sort of animal that would serve for dinner.
“Show me.” He said, internally amused by your inquiring expression. “Show me how you hold it.”
“Oh…” You compeled, in spite of the anxiety his stern eyes brought upon you.
“You’re doin’ it wrong.” He grunted, coming to approach you, still holding the position.
You scowled, raising a brow to him but not daring to move a muscle. “Maybe you’re just making me nervous, did you think about that?”
Joel plants himself behind you, staying so close that you could feel the warmth of his body through the many layers of clothing. Your heartbeat races when his hand rearranges the rifle on your elbow, unintentionally wrapping his arms around you.
“You need to hold it like this.” His tone was low but still firm. “Keep it up.” You feel his chest pressed to your back and his face near yours, making it hard to breathe.
You can’t bring yourself to look at him, cause if your head turns even a little, you fear the distance between you might as well disappear. His hand holds your wrist steady, the other one going from your elbow to your waist in a tight grip that makes you gasp.
“Do I make you nervous?” He questioned, without letting you go. Paying no mind to the way your nerves buzzed and ears rang at the proximity, you slowly nodded. “Are you afraid of me?”
His doubt made your heart jump and knit your brows together. “No. I trust you.” Joel’s breath hit your temple and it took all the self control in your body not to get rid of the distance.
“You shouldn’t.” Both his hands are on your waist in a firm grasp. He definitely noticed your flushed cheeks, the ragged breathing and constant desire to look at him. Like a damn teenager in love. You gulp, trying to regain composure.
“And why is that?” He didn’t answer, and every second that passed and his hands were still on you only made it worse. You needed to get closer or your lungs would crush under the weight of expectation. “Joel?”
You finally gave in, raising your head to face him. He was already looking down at you, eyes smitten and lost. A reflection of him you’d never seen before. Your gaze goes to his lips and inevitably lick your own before going up to his deep, brown eyes again.
Fucking hell, the man was mesmerizing.
Before you even knew what you were doing, you’re leaning forward, completely forgetting about the rifle and the whole world around you. Your noses touch and your lips merely brush against each other’s. Instinctively, you close your eyes in hopes that he’d go for it.
But he didn’t.
Instead, his hand comes to arrange your posture again, murmuring a lazy ‘easy’ in your ear, that shared moment vanishing in thin air.
“When shooting a weapon this big, you gotta bring your strength from your torso and legs.” And then he acted like nothing happened; nevertheless, he was perfectly aware of the effect he had on you. “That way it won’t hurt after.”
Well shit. Now you had screwed up.
This man was like a father to Ellie and you were not only infatuated with him, but also add to the list that you had purposely tried to kiss him. You were embarrassed, to say the least. Specially since it appeared that whatever feelings you had were one-sided.
Or so you thought, up until last Saturday.
You hadn’t talked with him about it. In fact, you hadn’t even been alone with him ever since. It was probably for the best, though, that way you wouldn’t have to humiliate yourself in front of him any further. Every time you happened to cross paths, he seemed aloof, more indifferent than usual.
It was pretty late, probably past midnight and Joel hadn’t yet arrived. You had spent all day with Ellie and now you were just waiting for his return, but she was growing tired and you didn’t think it was fair for her to stay up for too long.
“Go to bed, okay? I’ll wait for him.” You told her with a smile.
“Nah, don’t worry. I’m not even…” whatever she was going to say got cut off by her yawn.
“Right. You were saying?” She rolled her eyes and snorted at your victorious air.
“Fine. But promise you won’t stay for too long. I’d hate to know you didn’t get any sleep because of me.” You agreed and said everything would be fine, that she had nothing to worry about.
So you waited there on his living room, reading old crappy magazines about celebrity gossip while facing the crackling fire that kept the house warm. It was easy to lose track of time this way, therefore, when the door opened at last, you had no idea how long you had been waiting around. You rushed to his encounter, but you were totally unprepared for what happened next.
“Jesus Christ, Joel. Are you- shit…” the man standing ahead was someone you knew, but could barely recognize. The side of his face was bleeding, a cut going from his temple to the cheekbone and there were bruises scattered around it. He was sweating and you could swear he was about to faint.
You closed the door behind him, tugging his shoulder to drag him inside, all the way to the kitchen. Despite his rumbles of protest, Joel allowed you to do it, putting up no resistance. His mind was screaming at him to tell you that you should leave and that he didn’t need any help. But he was too fucking exhausted and you were being so kind and warm… He just couldn’t bring himself to do it, ignoring the part of his brain that kept telling him ‘you’ll regret this later’. For once in a very long time, he was being irrational, letting another part of him take control; or rather lose it completely.
You sat him down on a chair and took a clean towel, wetting it with cold water to treat the wound. In addition, you also took the bottle of whiskey that he kept locked away where Ellie wouldn’t find it, pouring him a glass. He gulps it down straight away.
Joel observes your every move closely. Your steady hands going to his chin and raising his face to the light, the way your features drown in concern and your dazzling eyes examine the injury. His skin burnt there where you touched him and it was becoming hard for him to keep his mind focused, growing dizzier with pain and intoxicated by your perfume. He really shouldn’t be feeling this way, and it burdens him to know it. Your lovely, young self shouldn’t be an object of his desire; and the fact that you were what he wanted the most was killing him achingly slow.
Because, even if you did want him back, what good could it possibly come from the whole thing? He’d just hold you back. There were plenty of other men in Jackson that could offer you things he certainly couldn’t. Yeah, that was it. He was way too corrupted to be deserving of someone like you.
“Does it hurt too much?” You muttered while getting rid of the blood, careful not to be too harsh.
“S’okay, angel.” The name-calling wasn’t something you usually liked. It sounded condescending coming from other men, but when he did it, your stomach fluttered. “Were you waiting for me?”
You nod vaguely, “I was worried.” His eyes bore into yours and your heart skips a beat. “I mean we. We were worried.”
“Right…” He noticed how your fingers brushed the hair out of his face tenderly, his self-control threatening to crumble under your touch with every second that went by. His hand takes your wrist, preventing you from keeping up your work. For a moment, he says nothing, simply staring at you fixedly. “I think you should leave.” He blurts out, letting go of you.
Oh, there they were. Those mixed signs that you always seemed to misinterpret.
You groan in exasperation, leaving the bloody towel beside the bottle of alcohol. “I’m just trying to help.”
“I don’t need your pity.” Joel was being petty and his deliver managed to hurt a little. But you would not give him that much power, at least not without putting up a fight.
“It’s not about that and you know it.” You cross both arms over your chest and sit on the edge of the table, determined to get out of that agog that wouldn’t let you sleep. “Why are you pushing me away?”
He rubs a hand over his face, taking his time to retort and avoiding your eyes. “I can’t give you what you want.”
You laugh sardonically, challenging him. “And what is that?” His gaze is disdainful and rude, but you don’t let him intimidate you. “Are you afraid?”
If you were anyone else, you’d be shaking with fear. Joel was tough, to the point where some might call him cynical. But you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. His goal was to scare you off.
“Go. I don’t need you here.” You don’t move an inch, resolved to bring an end to whatever this was and ignoring his vicious glare.
“No,” you huffed.
“I told you to leave.” He was getting pissed, his voice trembling with anger and the cold words slicing the tense air.
“And I said no. I don’t take orders from you.” His lips were sealed in a fine line, eyes feisty. “Be honest with me and then I’ll see myself out.”
Silence again. A more prolonged one in which none of you had the bravery to come forward. Every second that went on and nothing happened was a torture you could not endure. That was it then, you’d made a fool of yourself yet again.
“Fine.” Your voice comes out unsteady from choking down the tears as you stand up straight, set on leaving all these feelings behind.
But right when you walk by his side, Joel’s hand grabs your arm softly. His grip wasn’t strong enough to hold you back if you really wanted to go, kind of like he was unsure about his own actions.
“Push me away.” He pleads. And it sounds desperate, as if the whole situation caused him agony. “Please, push me away.”
Your wet your lips, astonished by how guilty he appeared when practically begging you to stay away, “I can’t,” you respond, “I won’t.”
There was no turning back now. He had trapped himself on purpose and jeopardized everything the moment he laid his hand on you. The minute your eyes found each other’s, he realized he’d just lost all willpower that remained.
Joel pulled you closer and the sudden action almost made you trip, forcing you to place both hands on his chest to stay still. Something flicked in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite comprehend. But you took it as a sign to fully give in to your desires, as long as he’d permit it. You sit on his lap, solely enjoying the moment. His face, despite the beating, was ever so beautiful. It wasn’t fair. If he wanted you too, why did he have make it this difficult? Perhaps he was simply… Insecure.
“What have you done to me, sweetheart?” He asked, voice strained as he looks down at your lips. Your fingertips gently trace the edges of his face.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand.” One of his hands covers your thigh and the other rests on his knee.
“Do you like playin’ around with an old man like me?” You can’t help but laugh a bit, your thumb going across his bottom lip. “Is this what you want? A sweet thing like you can do so much better.”
“I don’t care for boys, or any other men for that matter.” His chest swells at your words. “I like you, Joel. Is that so hard to believe?” The man swears you can feel his heart thumping against his ribs when he whispers a barely audible ‘yes’. His honesty moved you and grew a weird feeling in your chest that impelled you to prove him wrong.
In response, you lastly get rid of that awful distance, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips and feeling the unfamiliar tickle of his mustache. It was stubborn at first, but he caved in eventually, kissing you back slowly. He took his time to relish on your taste before deepening the kiss, manhandling you on top of him. Joel’s hands are on your lower back and the nape of your neck as his tongue explores your mouth in depth, letting go of himself. You moaned in between the kiss, drunken by every light stimulation, which only spurred him on and turned the situation hungrier, more desperate.
“Joel…” you pull back, laying your forehead against his. “I have to go.”
You feel him chuckle at your declaration. “Seriously? Now?” His tone was raspy and faint.
“I don’t want to.” You assure with a pout, “But I fear that if I stay, this won’t end in a simple kiss. And Ellie’s upstairs, remember?” He agreed it was for the best, but still couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself, asking you to stay the night even if he had to sleep on the couch.
That was the night that started everything.
After that weekend, the way he acted changed radically. He remained with that grim, stoic exterior. Yet, he was brighter around you, more beaming. In public, he’d always find a way to touch you, even if it was merely a brief brush of skin. On bolder days, he’d pull you apart from a crown and take you somewhere darker to make out for as long as you could. Which wasn’t much, since everyone always appeared to have some sort of unresolved business with either of you.
Today, however, something was odd. Joel went off, as usual, and you stayed with Ellie, who had found an old, ragged chessboard somewhere in Jackson. A game that, as it turns out, you particularly loved.
That’s how you ended up here.
Three rounds afterwards, you keep winning and increasing his irritation.
“Checkmate.” You say for the fifth time tonight, giving him a triumphant smile, getting up from your seat to pour some whiskey into your glass.
“You’re cheating.” He barks, annoyed.
“See! I told you.” Ellie backed him up and the way they teamed up to bash you almost made you giggle.
“Suck it up, losers!” You shout from the kitchen, entertained by their resentment.
“Spill your secrets then, otherwise I will simply not be convinced.” She replies, glowering.
The drink nearly dissolves on your tongue and you leave the glass on the counter, coming to join them again. You rest both hands on her shoulders in a friendly gesture.
“My grandpa thought me when I was young. Before the outbreak, I mean.” Ellie turns her head to look at you in interest. “He got sick afterwards… Forgetful and amnesiac.” You explain, “Chess stimulated his brain and since I was his only family left, we would spend hours playing.” Joel’s chest feels heavy at the sight of your nostalgic smile. “We had a great time together. He… Passed away a couple years ago.” Ellie takes your hand on her own in a comforting manner, but you don’t feel particularly sad, simply emotional about the past. “Hey, kiddo. Didn’t you have a movie night with Dina today?”
“Shit!” Her eyes widen. “Thanks for the reminder, I totally lost track of time,” she gets up with an apologetic smile, “I’m gonna head out now.” She quickly takes a jacket and ties her hair up. “You guys can keep playing or… I don’t know, just don’t wait around for me.”
And just like that, you’re left alone.
After an entire week of sneaking around and behind everyone’s back, you’re finally alone.
There’s a shift in the air of the room and you narrow your eyes when you gape at him. “You think she knows something?”
He tilts his head to the side and finishes his whiskey. “Probably. Can’t know for sure.” The vague answer made you shrug, deciding to put a pin to it for later.
Now that no one was around, you were determined to have some fun, coming up with a plan that could escalate things between you. And he surely thought so too. It wouldn’t be difficult to get his attention, since he was constantly monitoring your every move. Being that way, you intentionally stand beside him when leaning to reorder the pieces, giving him a very good view of your ass.
“Another round?” You ask tauntingly, “Or are you already tired of getting defeated?”
He grunts, upset by the previous resolutions. “I’d like to play another game.” You turn around with a cheeky smile. “One that I won’t lose.”
“And what would that be?” He gives you a darkened, intense glance, his lips pursed in a smirk.
Joel Miller was a man of few words and he totally lived up to it. Instead of responding, he grabbed your hips and dragged your body to the side, so that you were now standing between his legs, lingering against the edge of the table. You swallow hard, meeting his heavy gaze from above him. It made your pulse raise and blood rush, igniting something that you haven’t quite felt with anyone else yet. He presses a kiss to your clothed abdomen, eyes never wandering from yours as he lowers his lips to your pelvis, lifting your shirt leisurely.
“Look at you, darlin’. All flustered and I’ve barely done anything.” Your chest rises and falls methodically, the atmosphere feeling dense despite the chilly air. Your tongue darts out to lick your lips when he starts laying open-mouthed kisses along your exposed belly, sending shivers through your whole body, “Off,” he motions at your clothes.
You do as told, getting rid of the shirt and tossing it to the floor. His big, warm hands strain your movements as he explores your skin, kissing all the way up to the valley of your breasts.
“Joel…” you take a fistful of his hair and pull at it mildly, just enough to yank his head backwards and bring your lips together, swallowing a whimper from him.
The kiss is ambitious, all teeth and tongue, as if you had been craving each other for long and had just barely given in. He swiftly stands up and sits you at the end of the table, spreading your knees to settle in between your thighs. He parts from your mouth and traces your jawline, neck and collarbones, nibbling and sucking the sensitive skin, lightly scraping it with his facial hair. You were a mess at this point, panting and tugging at him as if you were about to collapse. But then he stops, breathing heavily against your chest and looking up to you with dark, lustful eyes.
“What- Did I do something wrong?” You stutter with uncertainty.
“Ain’t nothing wrong, angel.” His hand rests heavy on your thigh, a mischievous grin painted on his face. “But I told you we’d play a different game, didn’t I?”
This new side of him was exciting in many ways possible and whatever it was he wanted to do, you were certain it was going to be fun. And, possibly, a bit tortuous. You peer at him in expectation.
“Make your move.” He commanded, pointing the board with a succinct head movement. You obligue, choosing a random pawn and moving it with shaky hands while struggling to think straight. The man hums and decides to mirror your tactic. “Keep goin’.”
Next thing you know his fingers unhook your bra and you have to make a quick choice in spite of all the distractions. At the end, you go for a horse, barely capable of register anything other than his hands taking off the piece of clothing. After contemplating your scheme, he moves another pawn in return.
“Shit.” He hissed at the sight of your exposed tits, nipples hard from the cold air and arousal. “Focus.”
You weren’t sure if that last order was for him or for you, but either way the game kept going. He had enough attention span to grope your breasts and tweak your nipples between the pads of his calloused fingers, while also moving the chess pieces around. You couldn’t say the same for yourself; a louder moan escaping your lips when he replaced his fingers with his mouth.
The more ministrations he provided, the harder it became to make strategic moves. But you were determined not to let him win, regardless of the ache between your legs and the growing wetness in your panties that he refused to attend.
“Joel, I…” He takes away one of your rooks, his lips attached to your neck and hands caressing your inner thighs. “I need more.”
He huffs a laugh that vibrates through your lower body. “That right, angel? Tell me what you want.”
You take away his only bishop left and hear him growl at his approaching defeat. “Touch me, please.”
“Where?” His scent fogs your senses, so manly and distinctive of him, growing the need to feel him in any way possible. “Words, sweetheart.”
“I need your fingers in my cunt, Joel.” You spit out, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down his throat and increasing his arousal with your lack of coyness. “Please.”
“Anything for my pretty girl.” He unbuttons your pants and slides one hand inside, palming your pussy over the underwear, altering your breathing pattern and moving the queen with his free hand. “Fuck, you’re drippin’.” You grind against his hand and his grip on your waist tightens to keep you still as he kneads circles on your clit over the thin fabric. “Your turn, darlin’.”
The game carries on at the same time as he moves your panties aside and slides two thick fingers inside your entrance, his thumb still fondling your nub slowly. You can’t keep your moans at low and the stimulation picks up when he curls his digits to hit your right spots. All that can be heard in the room is the cracking wood of the fireplace and the squelching sounds of your pussy.
“Jesus Christ, Joel…” you cry out his name, burying your face on the crook of his neck, grabbing the soft flannel in your fists and spilling all your whimpers into his ear, delighting yourself with the way he smelt. He groans at the feeling of your bare chest pressed to him, his cock throbbing painfully at every sound you’d make.
“You like that, darlin’? You like to fuck my fingers on top of this table like a needy little whore?” You clench around him and throw your head back, a new wave of slick coating all the way to his knuckles. “Ah, so you do like it.”
“Yes, Joel. I-” he speeds up his pace, greedily circling your clit in a way that makes your back arch, giving him a glorious view from his position.
“Fuck, you’re so hot. Been wanting to do this for so fuckin’ long…” He admits, peppering kisses all over your breasts.
“Me too. Thought about you when I-” your voice gets lost at the sudden feeling of heat settling on your lower stomach, building up your crescendo. “When I was alone.” Your confession only manages to prompt him further and make his movements more effective. You squirm under his touch, a hand messing his hair while the other holds his belt to keep him close.
He groans a deep ‘fuck’ at the pathetic sound you made. All because of him. No; all of them for him.
“Joel, I’m- shit, I’m close,” there’s a hotness on the pit of your stomach that extends to your legs.
“I know, angel.” He coos, his free hand brushing the hair out of your face. “Go ahead, do it.” His words are all it takes for your orgasm to hit, shocking every nerve on your body. He helps you come down from it, tracing soothing patterns on your bare skin as your body quivers from elation.
“Joel…” you whisper, both your hands on his belt and going to unbuckle it, watching as he takes both fingers to his lips and licks them clean.
“Sweet” he kisses you again, deeply. You happily return it with the same energy, nibbling at his bottom lip while your palm slides inside his jeans to feel up his bulge over the underwear. He muffles a moan in your mouth, his hot, hard cock twitching under your grip.
Your hand drifts inside his boxers to feel him directly, your thumb rubbing over the tip to spread the surprising amount of precum that oozed there. Joel gasped into your mouth, the sound prompting you further.
“Checkmate.” You tell him, pulling back only when you needed to breathe, guiding your finger to your tongue in order to taste him. “I won.”
His eyes divert to the board in awe, and you admire his mesmerized expression when he confirms that you had, in fact, won again. Joel comes back to dote on your devilish grin, fueled up by a new thrill of excitement.
“Fuck this…” he mutters through gritted teeth, mindlessly tossing the board to the side and letting it fall off the table along with all the pieces, making an absolute mess. It appears like he doesn’t even register any of it, going straight back to kissing you, his hands sliding your pants down your legs.
“Shit, Joel…” You can’t help but laugh at his reaction, encouraged by his sudden passion.
As your lips collide once again, you start to unbutton his shirt and he helps you out of your jeans, along with your very wet panties. He pushes your back against the wooden surface, holding you down with a hand around your neck.
“Winners that boast in their victory are only brats.” He snarls, taking his dick out for you to see. Your mouth waters at the sight of it: thick, bigger than you could’ve expected, the head swollen and glistening. “Brats need to be tamed.”
You whine when he parts your thighs even wider, teasing your slit with his tip, covering it in your slick and intentionally grazing your aching clit, urging you to grab his bicep for support.
“Can’t you just fuck me already?” You blurt out, the sensation only edging you more. “I might just cum again from all the teasing.”
His fingertip sweeps across your bottom lip, an eyebrow raised. “You really that sensitive, angel?” He questions, “Or is it just because of me?”
The inquiry nearly makes you crack up. Damn, the man was totally clueless. “Are you really that unaware of the effect you have on me?”
His stare reflects how pleased he is to hear that. “How many times did you beat me tonight, sweetheart?”
It takes an actual effort for you to recall and muster up an answer when he keeps toying with you so mercilessly. “Three, I presume.”
Joel’s hand slithers to your lower back, keeping you angled for him. “Then I’ll get you off three times.” Your heart jumps at the sentence and you look at him in disbelief. “Can you do that, angel?”
Three fucking times?
When your whole life men had only ever given you… None, practically. One at most, if you were lucky enough. And Joel mother-fucking Miller had the nerve to ask if you could handle three.
“Bet.” The answer is music to his ears, giving in once and for all as he enters you unhurriedly.
He’s so big and you feel him splitting you open exquisitely, the sensation fading any thoughts, beliefs or identities from your mind. Right now, all you know is him. It stings a little and it forces you to screw your eyes shut, letting out a small whine as he bottoms out, your nails digging on his arm.
“You’re doing s’good, baby.” He continues to say in midst of it, talking your way through it, “Taking me so well…” You think it’s somewhat unfair that he’s still fully clothed and you’re naked as the day you came; yet, at the moment your mind can’t even think of anything but his cock, buried deep inside you. “If something feels off or it becomes to much… Let me know and I’ll stop.” You nod, eagerness starting to scratch your insides.
“Yes. Now can you please, please start moving.” He holds back a chuckle, gazing at you from above, barely lifting your hips to feel more of him.
“Atta girl,” he obeys, thrusting his hips sharply and deep. “Look so pretty beggin’ to be fucked.” His big arm travels to the arch in your back, withdrawing and pushing in again, slowly losing his consciousness to pleasure.
“Fucking hell, you fill me up so good…” he moans gruffly at your comment, pulling you down on his cock as he picks up an unrelenting pace, hitting every right spot as if he knew them all by memory.
“Shit, you’re so tight,” Joel drags in an out, rejoicing himself in every high pitched moan you’d spill. Your legs wrap around his waist in an effort to keep him as close as you could.
The angle is very intimate, his whole body flushed against yours, warm and firm, while your hand snakes under his flannel to dig your nails on his bare shoulders, the other scratching his scalp delicately and Joel’s hot, erratic breaths hitting your face as you gape at him. It’s like everything else disappeared and it was all about the two of you and this moment of pure rapture. Unable to contain your urge, you search for his lips, kissing him one more time, the mixture of mint and alcohol in his mouth fogging your senses in the best way possible.
His tip nudges your g-spot relentlessly, the stretch his girth provided so satisfying that you clench around him as your second orgasm approaches, causing him to pull apart from the kiss and let out a sinful groan, deep from his throat, that sends a shudder up your spine. It all becomes too much; the friction of your delicate nipples with his shirt, his thick cock dragging against your walls and lastly, Joel’s teeth biting down the soft skin under your ear, his facial hair scraping deliciously. That is your cum button.
“That’s my girl, making a mess on my dick,” he fucks you through it, slowing down his pace and only pulling out when your legs tremble. “Say it darlin’, tell me who you belong to.”
“You, Joel…” he basks in the view of your fucked out self, looking up at him in a delirious state, eyes low, heat soared across your cheeks and lips plumped. “Shit, Miller,” you sit up, arm still hanging around his broad shoulders while his hard, throbbing cock rested against your thigh. “You’re so fucking hot, did you know that? It drives me insane.”
He laughs huskily, his big hand caressing the side of your face in a caring manner. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he speaks softly, “I think I might’ve fucked you so hard I scrambled your brain.”
You actually crack up this time, pressing a kiss to his forehead and muttering an: “Idiot.” He grabs your thighs and methodically swirls your body, flushing your back against his chest. Without warning, he slams into you again, making you yelp at the sudden action.
“You’ve got a dirty mouth,” he pokes fun at you, “next time we’ll put it to use.” And the promise raises goosebumps on your skin.
This new position gave you the opportunity to feel him deeper, if that was even possible. His thighs and hips firm against yours, every single snap making you feel that delicious stretch he provided as your cunt envelopes him tightly. But you were already far too sensitive and every light touch added to his thrusts made your body feel weaker.
“Joel, I-” he holds you with an arm covering your waist, his fingers pinching your nipples. “Fuck, I won’t last…”
He becomes more vocal, his disjointed moans drifting from his lips right into your ear while the hand on your hip makes its way to rub your clit gloriously, in a way that makes you wonder just how the fuck does he know exactly what your body likes.
“Is my sweet girl gonna cum for me?” you nod, unable to form any words, only capable of reveling on the way his cock throbs inside you. “Speak, remember?”
But you can’t. Nothing comes out of your mouth besides his name, like a constant plea. When the third one finally came, it was simply euphoric; your whole body shudders and your vision goes white, tears spilling from the corners of your eyes as you start to feel lightheaded. Joel draws out with a grunt, a string of curses leaving his lips as you spin around to see him. Your hand wraps around his own when he fucks his fist and you take in the sight of him cumming all over your fingers, his forehead laying on your shoulder as you milk him. Inevitably, you lick your fingers to taste his salty load. A sight that would be engraved in his brain for the rest of his days and that could possibly haunt him in his time apart from you.
“Checkmate my ass,” he grits between shaky breaths, your hand stroking his hair as he comes down from his high.
“What a sore loser…” you joke. In fact, you plan to say something more, but you feel too tired for anything.
It didn’t really matter, though. Joel took good care of you. He bathed with you, cleaned up the whole mess and gave you one of his shirts for you to sleep with, eventually going to bed with your very passed out self.
Well, if Ellie didn’t know anything before, she surely will now.
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The Finish Line.
masterlist || ask me anything <3
my blurb masterlist is here.
authors note - in honour of the london marathon being held today, and my dad running, enjoy this little blurb.
word count - 1.3k
in which, harrys wife is running the london marathon, having been signed up by her sister in law gemma as a joke and now as she is nearing the finish line, harry is determined to be there to greet her.
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2023.
As you sit in your cozy living room on your birthday, your husband Harry by your side and your one-year-old son peacefully asleep on the cushion next to him, you feel content. Gemma, your sister-in-law, suddenly interrupts the tranquil moment with a mischievous grin on her face.
"Happy birthday, sis! I've got another present for you," Gemma announces, holding out an envelope with excitement.
You accept it, exchanging puzzled glances with Harry. "Oh, Gem, you didn't have to get me anything else. You've already spoiled me enough."
Gemma shakes her head, insisting, "Trust me, you're going to love this one. Open it!"
With a mixture of curiosity and apprehension, you tear open the envelope. Your heart skips a beat as you pull out a letter. Your eyes widen in disbelief as you read the words:
"Congratulations! You've been signed up for the 2024 London Marathon."
Your jaw drops, and you stare at Gemma in shock. "What?! Are you serious?!"
Gemma's grin widens. "Absolutely! I know you've been talking about wanting to challenge yourself, and what better way than running a marathon, right?"
You can feel the panic rising within you. "But Gem, I've never even run a half-marathon before! This is insane!"
Harry chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, looks like you've got some training to do, m’love."
You shake your head, still in denial. "No, no way. I can't do this. I'm not ready for something like that.”
2024.
And now, just under halfway through,just seconds away from reaching mile ten,doubts start creeping in, and your legs feel heavier with each step.
The cheering crowds blend into a blur of noise around you.
Just when you're on the verge of giving up, a familiar voice cuts through the chaos, calling your name.
You glance up and spot Harry and your son standing behind the barricades, their faces lit up with pride and encouragement.
With a surge of determination, you veer towards them, pushing through the throngs of runners, apologising when you get in the way.
When you reach them, you're breathless and exhausted, but seeing their smiling faces fills you with a renewed sense of hope.
"H-Harry," you pant, trying to catch your breath. "I don't think I can do this. It hurts."
Harry wraps his arms around you, offering comfort and support. "Hey, hey, you've got this. You've trained so hard f’this moment. Y’stronger than you think."
Tears well up in your eyes as you lean into his embrace. "But what if I can't finish? What if I let everyone down?"
Harry gently tilts your chin up to meet his gaze. "Listen to me, m’love. You've never been a quitter, and you're not about to start now. Remember why you're doing this – for yourself, for our family, We believe in you, and we'll be right here cheering you on every step of the way."
You glance down at your sleeping son, his innocent face a poignant reminder of the love and support surrounding you.
With a determined nod, you straighten up, wiping away your tears. "Okay, I'll keep going. For us."
Harry flashes you a proud smile, planting a kiss on your forehead. "S’my girl. Now go show 'em what you're made of. We'll be waiting for you at the finish line."
It takes you around another two hours to near the finish line, every step feels like an uphill battle.
Your ankle throbs with each stride, threatening to give out beneath you, and a wave of nausea washes over you. The cheers of the crowd blend into a distant hum as you focus all your energy on putting one foot in front of the other.
Your vision blurs with tears of pain and exhaustion, but you can see the finish line looming ahead like a beacon of hope. With every ounce of determination left in you, you push forward, the crowd's encouragement spurring you on.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you limp across the finish line. Tears stream down your face as you collapse onto the ground, the rush of emotions overwhelming you. The volunteer at the finish line rushes over, their concern evident as they kneel beside you.
"Hey there, are you alright? Do you need medical attention?" the volunteer asks, their voice filled with genuine concern.
You manage to nod weakly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I-I think so. Just... just give me a moment."
The volunteer nods understandingly, offering you a bottle of water and helping you sit up. "Take your time. You did an amazing job out there. You should be really proud of yourself."
As you cling to the poor volunteer, you turn to the her with a hopeful expression. "Um, excuse me, could you... could you help me over to my husband, please?"
The volunteer nods understandingly, offering you a supportive arm. "Of course, let's get you over there."
With the volunteer's assistance, you limp over to Harry, each step feeling like a small victory. As you draw closer, Harry's eyes light up with relief and love, his arms open wide to welcome you.
"Thank you so much," you murmur to the volunteer, tears still streaming down your face.
She smiles warmly. "It's my pleasure. Congratulations on finishing the marathon. You're an inspiration."
You nod, touched by her words, before turning your attention back to Harry. His eyes are filled with love and pride as he opens his arms to you, and you melt into his embrace, feeling the warmth and safety of his love surrounding you.
"Oh, Harry," you whisper, tears of exhaustion and joy streaming down your cheeks. "I did it."
He holds you close, his embrace a comforting anchor in the midst of your overwhelming emotions.
"Yes, you did," he murmurs, his voice soft and full of admiration. "I'm so proud of you, m’love. You're incredible."
You bury your face in his chest, inhaling his familiar scent and reveling in the feeling of being wrapped in his arms. "I couldn't have done it without you," you admit, your voice muffled against his shirt.
He presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his touch tender and reassuring. "Y’stronger than you know, darling. And I'll always be here to support you, every step of the way."
Your heart swells with love for him, overwhelmed by the depth of his devotion.
"I love you, Harry," you whisper, your words a vow of gratitude and affection.
"I love you too, my darling," he replies, his voice filled with warmth and sincerity. "Now let's get you some rest. You've earned it."
Your son looks up from the stroller, his face breaking into a wide grin as he reaches out for you.
"Mama!" he exclaims, his little arms outstretched.
"Hey there, my little champion," you coo, scooping him up into your arms. His giggles fill the air as you pepper his chubby cheeks with kisses, each one a testament to the overwhelming love you feel for him.
Harry watches with a tender smile, his eyes shining with pride and adoration.
"Look at you two," he says, his voice filled with warmth. "My heart could burst with how much I love you both."
You laugh through your tears, the exhaustion and elation of the moment blending together in a whirlwind of emotion.
"I love you too, Harry," you say, your voice choked with emotion. "So much."
With trembling hands, you reach for the medal hanging around your neck, the weight of it a physical reminder of the journey you've just completed. Carefully, you drape it around your son's neck, the metal cool against his warm skin.
"There you go, my little marathoner," you say, your voice catching in your throat. "You deserve this just as much as I do."
Harry wraps his arms around you both, holding you close as you bask in the glow of this precious moment.
"I couldn't be prouder of you, love," he whispers, his breath warm against your ear.
"You're my hero."
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cosmal · 1 year
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN 😘💋💋💋💋
cake 🍰 - sleepy kisses/cuddles with james <3
sleepy
summary you james makeout. whilst being a little tired.
content james potter x fem!reader
note thank u baby i love u
You still have your dress on when James tugs you into his bed. The silk rides up your thighs when he pulls you over his lap and lays back against the headboard. You really want to tug at his curls. You have all night.
"Never let Marlene convince me to do shots ever again," James mumbles as you work at his tie. He tilts his head up as you struggle with the knot. He yawns, smelling of fresh spearmint gum and alcohol. "They give me the hiccups." You know. He'd hiccuped the entire Uber ride home.
You finally get the tie off his head and mess his hair as you go. His top button has been undone since he left the pub. "If I remember," you run your fingers through his hair and listen to him sigh, "it was your idea," you say before you lean in to press your mouth to his neck.
You feel him shiver underneath you, the jump in his fingers as he pulls you closer by the hips. One day you expect your flesh to be moulded to fit his hands with the amount of time he keeps them there.
You tuck your face into his neck and keep it there, pleased with the sounds you pull from him. Lazy with your mouth, wet and hot kisses against his dark skin. Spending special time on the beauty marks you have memorised.
"It wasn't," he argues, voice light as air. You feel your ego swell. "It wasn't my idea- Christ, you're an angel."
You pull your lips from his reddening skin with a little pop, scraping your teeth until he breaks out into goosebumps. "I've wanted to do that all night," you admit, the last remnants of sheepishness gone now that you're alone with him in his bed. You expect James to use it against you eventually.
"Why didn't you?" he asks with another squeeze.
"In Sirius's front room?" The barest hint of your shy giggles has James smiling. All hooded eyes, a crush of eyelashes that you envy, and pretty teeth just peeking from his wet lips.
"It's never stopped him from getting it on with Remus," he says like it's a reasonable argument.
"It's his house," you sigh.
"So?"
You don't tell him it's mostly because the thought of kissing him like you are right now, around other people, makes your skin catch on fire. You can imagine it now - your face in his neck and his hands up the skirt of your dress until you can see the lace of your underwear. You much prefer it in the comfort of his flat. Without the wolf-whistling on Sirius's part.
You know James loves it like this too. Loves to get you all dizzy with it. Lazy hugs and even worse kisses. He's addicted to you like this.
You lean back in and James accepts it with a little too much tired giddiness. A low rumble of contentment deep from his chest. "Where did you learn that?'' he asks, breathing in through his nose deeply as your nose bumps the column of his throat.
"I have," you mumble, too busy under his jaw when he tilts his head upwards, "I have the best teacher."
"Fuck, baby," James stammers, voice all husky. You melt into a little puddle at the sound of it.
He scoots you both down the bed with you against his chest. "You keep kissing me like that, sweetheart, I'm gonna fall asleep."
You don't have time to argue. To tell him that's exactly what you were going for. He kisses you. Even worse than you were, and you mean that in the best way possible. Kisses that take away the little breath you have left, all shallow and desperate to keep yourself from passing out with your lips pressed to his.
You think he knows this. He whines and tries to keep your head up with his fingers under your jaw. It turns a little sloppy, his nose bumps yours and his hands turn soft at your sides.
It's not until your dress rides up some more do you remember you still haven't changed. "James," you pant. He hums. Too content with kissing your cheeks. "James, we need to get changed."
"Can't," he mumbles, ducking his head until it falls into your neck and his curls tickle your face, "can't, wanna keep kissing you. Until we fall asleep?"
"We can't baby," you giggle. All high-pitched and airy. "You're in your slacks. And a belt."
"I'll survive," he grumbles.
"Your hips won't, honey," you say and brush his hair behind his ear, scratching the skin there lightly. You realise you aren't helping. "C'mon, I'm in my nice dress. I need to put on my pyjamas."
James, extremely reluctantly, and without a few mumbled expletives, gets up from his bed. He drags you blindly with him over to the dresser.
"This is all Marlene's fault," he whines, hands in his boxer drawer, "I'm never shotting again."
"You gotta stay away from that sambuca, babe," you say with a hint of smartassery.
"I was gonna rock your world tonight," he says, stripping. You watch his muscles flex and try to keep yourself upright while putting your sleep shorts on. "But I think I'm gonna fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow."
You laugh animatedly, despite him being the funniest person you know, yawning into the back of your hand. "Rock my world in the morning, Jamie?"
"And the afternoon."
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underdark-dreams · 7 months
Text
[Poll results]
A smut piece for Rolan that became a 7k word fic. I don't know what it is about him--I just need him to be happy. 🖤 For anyone else who feels the same!
In Amber
Rolan can't remember what made him this way. Bitter, insufferable. He only knows he wants things with her to be different. A series of encounters between Rolan and the person who is teaching his black heart how to hope.
Tags: Fem Unnamed Tav, Explicit Sexual Content, Mild Hurt/Comfort | Word Count: 7,033 [Read on AO3]
The beloved hero of the Grove has saved them all from the Shadow Curse, apparently.
Word spreads fast, and it's all Rolan hears the Harpers talking about in their rush to take final leave of Last Light Inn. Nearly all had gone to Moonrise Towers with the Druid, but a small group stayed behind with Isobel in case the fight turned to the worst.
Rolan was the first one packed. With the shadows lifting, all he wants to do is travel the road to Baldur's Gate and finally reach his destiny. Leave this hollow place behind him.
At last they are finally moving in the right direction again--the three of them along with Lakrissa and Alfira, led by the Harper rangers.
He glances at Cal and Lia walking beside him. They're in the middle of chatting about the first things they want to do when they reach the lower city. Rolan can't seem to stop checking that they’re still there–as if he might look to find them gone once more.
He hasn't seen their savior since the night she brought his siblings back to him. That made twice now that she'd saved all three of their lives. Few things bristled against his nature more than owing a debt that couldn't be repaid. Rolan didn't like the feeling of being under anyone's thumb.
She wouldn't even accept a reward for saving his brother and sister's lives, just waved him away with a smile on her lips. The memory frustrated him endlessly. He couldn't understand why she took such an interest in helping him and his family. He was even beginning to consider that goodness of heart might really exist…at least when it came to hers.
Half of his mind felt tormented by her inscrutable kindness. The other half thought he'd very much like to kiss her.
Before he could brush away the alarming idea, the Harpers in front threw up a cheer. Rolan looked around to see the commotion.
She and her companions were covered in more blood than he'd seen on them yet, but they were still standing as they led their small army down the path from Moonrise Towers. 
His eyes light automatically to her face–it shines with a radiant smile, but Rolan recognizes the way her shoulders slump under her armor. He is flooded with relief. At least she's alive. 
Their groups converge on the road outside the tower. Everything is a jumble of cheers and shouts as the Harpers jostle forward to reunite with their comrades; a man he's never met claps Rolan’s shoulder hard enough to make him wince.
"Go on, then," says Lia beside him. She's following his gaze knowingly. "While you've got a chance."
He only manages to throw his sister a scowl before she trots away. Is it that obvious?
He decides to take her advice after all. She was right that this could very well be the final time their paths converged. Baldur's Gate was a large city, and whatever grand adventures their savior would face next, he doubted they would involve spending much time browsing magical emporiums.
She gave him a little wave as he approached, the kind one might give an old friend. It pricked his conscience. He'd thanked her for saving Cal and Lia, true, but his mind tossed up all the countless other times he'd been needlessly unpleasant toward her. 
"Seems we owe you thanks yet again," he said, hoping it came off sincere. 
She shook her head wryly. "I've never done any of it alone, you know that. Every one of these people fought like hells in there." 
Standing close, his nose was hit by the thick tang of blood that coated on her armor. How much of it was hers?
"You should go to see Isobel," Rolan insisted. He'd drag her straight to the cleric himself, if she'd let him.
"Do I look that bad?" She was teasing, but there was a strain to it. "As long as I make it to my bedroll in the next hour, I'll be fine. You're sweet to worry, though."
"Stop saying things like that," Rolan snapped, unable to contain himself. "You're so nice, and I'm just a bastard."
Her eyes widened at him, taken aback. "I don't think you're a bastard."
Rolan looked down at his hands. "That's what makes you so nice," he said. He had to get to the point. "Look…I know I haven't been the easiest person to get along with. I've been rude and awful, ever since the Grove, and you didn't deserve it. So." He straightened up properly. "I'm sorry for that."
It's far less eloquent than he'd rehearsed, but she seems to understand the sentiment.
"Don’t worry about it," she tells him. "You feel responsibility for the people you love. That can make anyone forget themselves for a while." 
"I suppose," is all he can manage to say. How well she seems to speak what's in his mind.
Her Githyanki companion approaches with a clear intention to speak with her, and Rolan turns away, not wanting to intrude on the company of her true friends.
"Rolan, wait–" 
The flutter in his stomach humiliates him. Will he ever get used to her saying his name?
She rummages in the pack at her waist. "Almost forgot. I found something–well, stole, but it doesn't matter now." 
A fist is held out to him, closed around something. 
Uncertain what to expect, Rolan offers his hand. Her fingers graze softly against his as they deposit something small and hard. He looks down at his palm.
"A rock," he says, deadpan.
"Not just any rock, it's a topaz."
Rolan blinks at her. "And…what am I supposed to do with this, exactly?"
"I don't know," she shrugs. "Keep it, or don't. It just made me think of you. Matches your eyes." The admission brought a flush of pink to her cheeks. 
He felt his heart skip at the sight, followed by a jolt of fear–as if she might be able to see the hope blooming inside his chest.
He turns away with a tut. "Absurd."
She gave only a satisfied laugh before taking her leave. Once she'd retreated out of sight, he tucked the gem securely into the folds of his robe.
-
Rolan has long abandoned the fantasy that he is his master's apprentice. 
Whipping boy would be a more accurate job description. Perhaps test subject. He is trapped in an impossible game that he can never win, and his highest purpose is to be the canvas where Lorroakan paints his next magical experiment. 
His mind shudders at the way the red wizard's eyes rest on him during "lessons": casually devoid of all concern or care. No matter how hard Rolan concentrates, no matter what he answers, it won't be good enough. And then the pain will follow. 
The mindless Constructs are worth far more to his master than he is. 
There was a time when someone made Rolan feel like he could deserve more, but that time is gone now. All he can hope is to learn enough, train hard enough, and one day claw his way through to something better.
Today, however, will offer the chance of a reprieve. He's been sent to deliver a message on foot across the lower city. Weeks ago he would've seen the task as an insult. Now he wonders whether it might take all morning, if he's lucky. 
If he often feels like a drowning man, these moments of escape are like a sweet gasp of air. He walks with his face tilted up to soak in the sun's warmth. 
The marks of abuse that paint his features have long stopped troubling him. An occasional passerby might stare at the bruises, but since the Absolute army's march, most Baldurians give Tieflings a wide enough berth not to notice. One wearing fine robes is no different to them.
As he passes the bridge to the Counting House, his eyes land on her figure. He stops short in surprise, earning himself a rude remark about clumsy devils from the woman behind him.
Rolan would recognize her face in any crowd. She stood on the bridge in the middle of some kind of confrontation between two women; one of them a beggar, by the state of her, the other finely dressed.
As he watches he very clearly sees her invite the rich one to "piss off", to the woman's indignation.
An affectionate chuckle escapes him. Then he winces, hand rising to the cracked skin on his lip. He tastes a drop of blood.
Swift panic grips his chest. She can't fucking see him like this, not once–more broken and pathetic than ever. Not after how many times she's already played rescuer to him. He cringes in shame at the thought.
At least she hasn't found him trapped behind his desk, there's a chance he can slip away unnoticed yet–
"Rolan?" 
He missed his moment by a hair. It's unfortunate that hearing her voice after all this time freezes him straight to the cobblestones, or he might consider dashing away like a coward.
"I thought that was you! I'd recognize those horns anywhere." 
Resigned, he turns back toward her. But he keeps his face cast down toward the pavement.
"What do you want?" He asks stiffly.
"Hello to you too," she laughs, and he stifles the impulse to watch her do so. "It's been a while. Cal and Lia, they're good?"
"Thanks to you," he concedes. No thanks to me.
"I'm glad to hear it." He watches her boots step closer, tentative. "Everything okay with you?"
She can never just leave him alone, can she. Why does she insist on caring when so many others don't bother?
"Fine, busy with my studies," Rolan deflects. "I've got to get back to the Sundries."
There's a tight pause, and then her voice grows firm. "Look at me."
He curses himself for being unable to disregard her, and for his eyes wanting to take her in despite everything. Slowly, he raises his head to meet her gaze.
Her face is somehow lovelier than he remembered. As he watches, it shatters in shock. He can see her eyes flit from mark to mark as if taking inventory.
"Who did this to you?" She whispers, aghast.
He turns away, unable to hold her gaze. "Believe me, it's nothing that can be helped."
"Rolan–" Her hand extends toward his jaw.
If the thought of her touch thrills him, the thought of being touched by her with pity is unbearable.
"I don't need your help," he spits, slapping the hand away with his own. "And I certainly don't need your damned sympathy!"
The shock and hurt on her face are the last things Rolan sees before he turns on his heel.
-
The archwizard was not pleased with his late return. That night, Rolan comes home with a large fresh bloom of purple over his left eye.
Lia's already limited patience snaps. She flies into his face with angry tears and threats that she'll march straight into Lorroakan's tower herself with shortsword in hand. Cal stands between them, pleading for peace, eyes wide and sad.
"Enough," Rolan orders them both. "Don't you see we're nothing but hellspawn refugees to these people? My position is the only thing keeping us under this roof, the only thing." 
He doesn't stop Lia as she storms out–she didn’t take her sword with her. The door rattles on its hinges as it slams behind her. He pushes wordlessly past Cal to his room, and collapses in a heap against his bed pillows.
His face aches enough that he knows sleep won’t come easy tonight. One hand reaches into the robe at his chest, and he slowly pulls out the small amber stone. His fingers turn it over and over as he closes his eyes once more to escape into imagining.
In some other world, he could've been the one powerful enough to save and protect her. Even be the person who makes her smile. 
He would not be the pathetic, broken man that he is. He could feel worthy to return her tender touches with his own, drawing her close to him instead of pushing her away. Feel her lips on his own…her hands circling his shoulders… 
Rolan rouses himself to stare down at the topaz shining in his palm. He feels his rotten heart crumple. 
He can't remember what made him this way. Bitter, insufferable. He doesn't like the man he is. He wants to be different–he wants things with her to be different. 
The stone grows warm in his fist as he clenches it. She crept deep into his heart a long, long time ago. He'll probably never get the chance to tell her, so he might as well admit it to himself.
And even if he did see her again–what chance did he have that she might feel the same? None. She single-handedly managed to improve every part of his life that she touched. What could he possibly offer her?
In this world, precious little.
-
Lorroakan of Ramazith lay dead on the ground. 
Rolan felt a numb hatred as he stood over his former master, eyes frozen wide in the final shock of death. Months from now the expression might have given him cause to laugh. Today, Rolan can only stare mutely.
One more sick megalomaniac who possessed more power than Rolan could have dreamed of wielding…brought down by his insane, insatiable lust for more. Always always more. For what? In the end, he was just another corpse.
It was she who dispatched him, of course. Why wouldn't it be? 
After all this time, it was perfectly inevitable that she and her friends would be the ones to fly in and deliver him from yet another tragic end. He felt like he was stuck on a wheel going around and around. He couldn't escape her, either in reality or in his own mind.
Rolan comes to himself and looks down at his robes. Blood splatters his front and soaks up to his elbows; a crust of frost coats his boots, from whose spell he can't remember. All at once an overwhelming tiredness soaks into his bones.
The dream of destiny that had carried him here…had it ever existed, really?
He decides to slip away while she's distracted, speaking urgently to one of her companions. Her plans probably extend far outside this room and beyond, but this is where his path reaches a bloody dead end.
He allows himself one last look at her profile before stepping quietly to the portal. He wants only a bath and the release of sleep.
His feet drag along the streets of the lower city as they carry his body home, ignoring any frightened stares at the state of his clothes. Silent as he can, he slips through the front door and down the hall to his room. Cal and Lia's voices carry from the kitchen. He'll face their questions when he wakes. 
In the end, exhaustion and relief overtake him. There will be no more lessons. He falls to bed in a heap and drifts off, still wearing his master's blood on his hands.
-
In retrospect: letting Lia discover him face-down in his bed covered in dried blood was not the smartest decision Rolan had ever made. 
After he'd groggily yelled himself hoarse enough to stop her screams, a sharp pang of conscience drove through him like ice. During the time he thought the two of them were lost to the Shadowlands, he wanted nothing more than to drink himself to an early death.
He never wanted either of them to feel that emptiness. For once, he let Lia hold him tight without protest.
With a few days' rest, and some of Cal's better efforts in the kitchen to date, Rolan's spirits had rallied sufficiently that he felt well enough to leave the house. Even to attempt a cautious return to his place of employment. 
To his surprise and distinct confusion, no one at Sorcerous Sundries had a thing to say about Lorroakan's disappearance, or about any possible employee involvement. 
If anything, the mood around the shop was noticeably lighter. He even caught Tolna humming a soft little tune to her bookshelves. “The tomes never respected him, you know,” she whispered to Rolan.
And once he got over the bizarre sight of Lorroakan's projection, hovering with a vacant smile behind his former desk, he found a perverse humor in it. Who was the fucking errand boy now?
Most of all, Rolan found himself free to finally do what he came to this place for: study magic. He had no archmage master, but he was intelligent, and he now had free access to all of the tomes in the tower library that Lorroakan had enjoyed dangling under his nose.
These days he preferred to spend his days alone in the upstairs, absorbed in theory and practice. His skills grew, and so did his confidence in himself.
If he also felt drawn to the spot because it was the last place he'd seen her…well, he was far too late on that score. He could've finally confessed the feelings that had long been bursting through his chest. 
Instead he had slunk away in silence, too scared to stand in front of her and admit how misguided he'd been all this time. She must think very little of him. She probably didn't think of him at all.
Who knew if she was even still in Baldur's Gate? He searched every face he encountered on the streets, hoping for an answer. It had become a reflex.
At the end of another day, he trudged alone across the twilight square. His hands ached from practicing the gestures for elemental conjurement over and over. One of the Steel Watchers clomped mindlessly past, looking about like Rolan felt. 
The thought of going home filled him with weariness. Cal and Lia's cheerful bickering always annoyed him, in an affectionate way. But tonight, he truly felt he might not be up to it. 
He felt sad. Lonely.
Glancing up, he found that his legs had carried him to the steps of the Elfsong. A drink…that would soothe his sorrows for an hour or two, at least.
The doors swung open to usher a wave of stimulation over his senses. Warm firelight, the smell of roasting venison, tables packed with conversation and clinking glasses. 
He was grateful that many others seemed to have had the same idea this particular night. It made it easier to slip through the crowded taproom unnoticed, catching meaningless slices of gossip and flirtatious banter on his way to the bar.
The surly bartender didn't look overjoyed to be serving a Tiefling. He took Rolan's gold without comment, however, and left him alone with his wine.
As the alcohol spread a welcome relaxation through his limbs, Rolan passed the time by idly watching the groups around him. 
A halfling sat alone with shoulders slumped, staring down his tankard as if he wished to drown in it. Across the way, a large bearded man was leaning across the table in open pursuit of his female companion. Clearly getting nowhere, from her expression. But he looked far too drunk to notice.
In front of the great hall fireplace, a pale elf sat in conversation with a pretty dark-haired young woman. 
Rolan's brow furrowed; he knew those two. His eyes quickly scanned over the room's faces until he found her.
She was removed a ways from her usual traveling companions, seated at a small table in the far corner. He watched her swirl the cup in her hand idly. Her eyes followed the liquid’s pattern, but the look behind them was leagues away.
For the first time in days, Rolan felt his heavy heart lift. She was exactly the person he wanted to be with tonight. Even if it was just sharing a drink.
This was it, he told himself. He had to speak with her or he'd regret it the rest of his life.
But first–he knocked back a very large mouthful.
His heart pounded in his ears as he drew closer to her. With each step he expected she might look up, piercing him with those eyes that visited most of his dreams. But she remained transfixed by the wine even when he drew up beside her table.
Improvising, he cleared his throat. "Hello."
She glanced up at him in pleasant surprise. "Oh!"
They stared at each other for an awkward silence. Then, somehow, he found himself laughing with her.
"Sorry, it's so strange. I was just thinking about you," she said, her face brightening.
The fact that he occupied any space in her brain would consume him later, but he shoved it aside for the moment.
"Mind if I join you?"
She patted the chair next to her. As he sat, he wondered if the spot had been a tactical choice on her part. Their table had a view of the whole room and both exits, yet the wall behind offered a sense of privacy. 
"You're not drinking with your friends tonight," Rolan observed.
"Just taking a little break. We're celebrating another family reunion," she explained, gesturing her glass toward the group around the blazing hearth. 
Rolan looked back over his shoulder. He recognized the one-eyed young man with curling horns, but not the older one whose hand was clasped on his shoulder. Quite clearly father and son to anyone with eyes.
"I'm glad for them," Rolan said. To his surprise, he found he truly meant it. The Absolute had ripped apart so many families in so many ways, including his, leaving the lower streets flooded with the hopeless and broken and displaced. He counted himself and his siblings incredibly lucky, and it heartened him to see another happy scene among so much misery.
“You know–” She eyed him curiously. "I was hoping I’d see you. You ran off before we could talk that day."
He looked down at his drink. "I know. I've regretted it since then. At the time, it was just…a lot to take in."
Her eyes narrowed, but not at him. "I hope you don't mind me saying, but that man can burn in Avernus for all I care. For what he did to you. For what he tried to do to Aylin."
Rolan recalled the runic circle in Lorroakan's library, the one whose mysterious power had at first awed and enthralled him. And then he'd seen the aasimar with the shining wings, and watched the demented hunger in Lorroakan's eyes, and the horrible realization had run through him like a sickness.
"Lorroakan was a monster," he agreed. "I just wish I'd seen it sooner. Or even found the strength to open my own eyes."
He felt a hand rest on his forearm.
"I saw what you went through to get here,” she said. “It’s natural that you thought you had to see it all through, no matter what.” 
Rolan said nothing for a while, just let her kindness soothe into his chest like a balm.
“On the bright side,” he added suddenly, “He did keep an excellent library. I’ve learned more from one of his books than I ever did from him.”
“That’s because you’re a proper talented wizard,” she laughed. “And he was an idiot.”
“A dead idiot.”
“To that,” she said with a lift of her cup, and they both drank. He noticed she used her free hand, not moving the one that laid on his arm.
When he caught her eye after, she was watching him with a smile. "You look so well, Rolan."
He knew what she meant. The last time she saw him, his face had been dappled in marks and bruises from Lorroakan's brutal instruction, with more that she couldn't see under his robes.
Now, the last mark across his cheekbone had faded almost to nothing. He hoped it would take the memories of the meaningless pain he'd endured along with it.
"Thank you," he said simply. "So do you."
He meant it; he realized now that he'd only ever seen her dressed for combat. Tonight she wore soft hide pants tucked into her hunting boots, a linen shirt half unlaced at her collarbones. It softened her. Close beside him and bathed in firelight, she set his heart racing again.
Perhaps it was her closeness or her touch that gave him the courage, or perhaps it was just the wine. He shifted his arm slightly to capture her hand in his.
"No one else has ever shown me the kindness you have. Not even Cal and Lia, though I do love them." 
She watched him speak in silence, and he gazed back at her, as if the answers to everything might be found in her face. 
"I don't understand you,” he said earnestly. “Why you've kept giving me chances. You've been so much more generous with me than I deserve. I've insulted you, yelled at you, I've been an absolute unbearable prick–"
Before he could think, she leaned in to silence him with her lips.
The kiss lasted forever and only a second all at once. Rolan closed his eyes, breathing in the faint smell of lavender on her skin.
Before he was anywhere near ready, she gently pulled away.
"Because," she murmured, "you're a good man, Rolan. And I like you." Her words, the lingering taste of her on his lips, they made his head spin. He felt like he was watching the door to a new world swing open before his eyes.
Before anything else, Rolan had to kiss her again. He released her hand to smooth the hair back from her face, watching the way she tilted into his touch, and gently guided her toward him.
It was deeper this time; he tasted the heady wine on her mouth, her breath a soft tickle against his cheek. As his fingers tangled her hair, he felt her hand wind sweetly over his shoulder, holding on to him.
A wet stripe flashed across his lips. His mouth gasped open in surprise, allowing her tongue to softly meet his, then draw slowly over his pointed teeth. 
The unexpected sensations brought his mind back to reality, and to the fact that they were in a public place. With effort, he wrenched himself out of the kiss. They breathed against each other for a moment. 
"I've got a room upstairs," she murmured. "If you want to?" Her cheeks were flushed from firelight and wine, and possibly even from him.
Whether or not he wanted to was no question: her words sent a fervent rush of blood to his groin. But first, he mustered enough control to hold her back from him for a moment. Her lips were parted in question.
"I adore you," he said. "I think I have for a long time. It's–very important to me that you know that. Before anything else." Even if the anything else was a dream that had kept him awake more nights than he could count.
Her soft hand cupped his cheek; he thought he might combust if she didn't say something. "Thank Gods," she laughed breathily. "I swore you hated me for a while there."
"I had no idea what to do with my feelings for you, I was a fucking idiot." It was all tumbling out of him now. He opened his mouth to continue, but her fingertips went to his lips.
 "Rolan–" Her voice was full of relief, and he was charmed to see the blush across her face deepen. "I feel the same way. I really, really like you."
His rotten heart could have flipped with joy. 
“Now.” She cocked her head askance, and he felt her fingers twine with his. "Make it up to me?"
Yes. Please, please, yes. He nodded in a daze, reeling like he'd sustained a blow to the head. All he could feel was the elation and anxiety swirling around and around in his stomach as he followed her toward the staircase, let her lead him by the hand like a lovesick idiot.
As they passed her companions he pointedly averted his eyes; he couldn't afford to lose any of the nerve building inside him. He'd need every bit of it in a moment.
The dark staircase seemed to ascend forever. Part of him wanted it to–he was no virgin, but the hand she held tight was shaking with anxiety. He wanted to make this perfect.
Overthinking proved pointless. The moment the heavy door closed behind them, he found himself pinned against it with a thud by the length of her body.
His involuntary groan was lost in their kiss. She was everywhere around him at once: hands pinning his shoulders back against the wood, hips grinding into his thigh with no pretense, her tongue pressing against his lips and slipping past his teeth to taste him. She moaned against his mouth, and the sound reverberated from his head to his feet.
His erection was practically instantaneous. He hooked his thumbs over her hip bones, sharp nails finding purchase in her pants, and rolled himself against the yielding softness between her legs. 
Whatever release the pressure provided multiplied it tenfold. Desire coursed through him, burning in his veins hotter than he thought possible. 
The maneuver brought an approving hum from her throat, however. Encouraged, he ground her into him again, and again, as slowly as his body could be convinced to go.
Her hands released his shoulders to rake upward through his hair, pulling his face toward her.
Pulling him deeper into the room, he realized. He stumbled slightly against something; tasting her lips was infinitely more important than breaking the kiss to look where he was going. He trusted her lead, impatient to reach whatever destination she had in mind so he could freely explore her.
Their connected bodies bumped up against the edge of something soft. She pulled away, and his immediate disappointment rapidly turned around as he felt her fingers fumbling with the clasps of his robe. He guided her hands, struggling at the same time to kick off one boot and then the other. 
As his robes pooled on the floor, her palms pressed him away for a moment.
Rolan stood frozen and panting in his trousers. She licked her kiss-swollen lips as she looked over his bare shoulders, his chest. When her eyes reached the obvious hardness straining in his pants, she let out a delicious sound.
Rolan's hands grabbed for her of their own volition. They slipped under the hem of her shirt, against the bare skin of her waist, and wrenched the garment up over her head in one motion.
To look at her directly was almost too much–he felt love and desire churning together inside of him. "Beautiful," was all he could say.
He buried his face in her shoulder instead, fang-like teeth brushing over her skin as he left a trail of kisses along the curve of her neck. She let out a gasp when his hand gently stroked her breast.
"You're so warm," she murmured into his hair. To him, she was pleasantly cool; he shivered when her fingers traced the small set of ridges that ran from his collarbone to his sternum.
But he needed more of her. He hooked both thumbs over her waistband and tugged ineffectually. She quickly took over, shucking them off with a shimmying motion.
The sight of her bare, for him, was almost enough to make Rolan come then and there. He reached out to her hips to steady himself. She was so much more divine than anything his paltry imagination could have conjured.
Through his blazing arousal, he was barely aware of the hands unlacing his pants until she tugged them down to finally let his cock spring free.
A sigh of relief escaped him. He watched her take him in, her eyes half-lidded with arousal. 
"You're incredible," she whispered. Then her arms slid around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss.
He tried to concentrate on her mouth, but the way his cock brushed and nudged against her skin every time she moved was taking over his brain.
With a motion of her hips, she captured his length between her thighs and rocked forward and back, sliding her dripping wet center over his cock. The revelation of her own state of desire sent his mind spiraling with want.
Rolan let out what could only be called a whimper. He clutched her to him, capturing her bottom lip between his teeth as firmly as he dared, as if she might suddenly disappear and leave him in an aching pile.
She made a pleased sound, then gave his shoulders a push. With his pants still around his thighs, he lost his balance–knees buckled as he fell backwards onto the mattress behind them.
He propped himself up on his elbows just in time to see her kneel on the floor in front of him. Her two hands pushed his knees apart, as far as the straining fabric would allow–
Rolan tried and failed to breathe normally, heart pounding in his ears. It felt like time was slowing to a crawl. Her eyes glanced from his face to the stiff erection between them. A droplet of moisture shone at its tip.
"Can I–?" She was asking him for permission, hands poised on his thighs, her expression heady with arousal.
"Anything," Rolan swore, and he meant it. She could do whatever the fuck she wanted to him right now. Before he could prepare himself, her mouth closed wetly around his tip. 
Truly, nothing could have readied him. He let out a gasp–his head dropped back as his hips rose involuntarily to seek more of her soft, cool mouth. 
He had scarcely adjusted before she took him in further, sliding her tongue down along his length to his very base–then slowly, achingly slowly, back up again.
He heard the rip of fabric as his nails gripped the bedding. He gathered the will to raise his head up to look.
Rolan was mesmerized by the sight of her lips wrapped around taught red skin, his length disappearing into her mouth and returning wet with saliva. She was working him over almost reverently slow, eyes closed as if tasting him.
Tasting herself on him. His cock twitched inside her mouth at the realization. She glanced up at him, releasing him from her lips with a soft, wet pop.
He could have groaned at the loss of her. Instead, he used the moment to work off his constraining pants and toss them away. Before she could reach for him again, Rolan pulled her up and onto his lap.
Her knees sank into the bed on either side as she straddled him, but she kept herself hovering well above him without contact. He pushed aside the ache between his legs to focus on more important things.
He leaned forward to press a soft kiss between her breasts, allowed his mouth to explore. She sighed with pleasure as he alternately licked and kissed across each curve, then drew sharp breath as his teeth sucked at the soft flesh under one breast. 
Her hands, at first resting on his shoulders, flew to grab two fistfuls of his hair. The sensation sent a shiver down his spine.
Rolan pulled away for a moment for admire the purple mark blooming on her breast. He glanced up as though looking for approval. She gave it, tugging his hair to tilt his face into a waiting kiss.
Ever so carefully…mindful of his fingertips, he placed the flat of his palm on the heat between her legs.
“Rolan–” she gasped, breaking away. 
The sound of his own name had never been dearer to him. He was run through with a thrill, and a fervent desire to do whatever it took to make her say it again.
  He massaged gentle circles into her, the base of his palm pressing against her clit in slow rhythm. Her wetness coated him with each stroke. She quaked under his touch, eyelashes fluttering, and his other arm circled her back to support her. He felt her lean against him without a second thought. Trusting completely.
“I can’t believe I have you,” he heard his voice say, perhaps to himself. 
As he spoke he felt the core of her tightening under his hand. Abruptly, her fingers closed around his wrist to still his ministrations. He froze, immediately afraid he had scratched her somehow. But her face shone with nothing but desire for him.
"On your back," she directed.
Rolan nearly pinched his tail under himself in his haste to obey. He swept his legs out from between hers and stretched out as she climbed over to straddle him. 
Now they were finally here, she wasted no time leaving space between them. Her hips rolled down onto him and drew the wet folds of her center across his tip. His entire length throbbed at the blessed return of her touch, the head of his cock burning against her. 
Smoothly, simply, she lowered herself onto him.
The shuddering exhale from his lips met against her moan of relief. Rolan willed himself to keep his eyes on hers, even as her inviting walls gripped him, even as he practically felt his pupils dilate with want. Her features relaxed into a state of pure, unadulterated satisfaction.
Then she started to move her hips.
She pushed her palms against his chest for leverage, riding his cock at a steady pace that felt entirely too slow. Whatever will he had to follow her lead was immediately tested; he was overcome with the need to touch her everywhere at once. 
Care forgotten, he gripped the soft flesh of her back with his fingertips. She cried out softly as his nails dragged from her shoulders to the base of her hips, but he felt her walls clench around him in response. His tail curled up and around her waist of its own volition, holding her as she took him in further with each bounce of her hips.
She gasped and fell over him, hands braced on either side. She was already losing control. He felt his own release closing in, used the new angle of her hips to thrust up into her. 
“Oh, Gods, yes–” Her mouth dropped open. She moved her hips back with each of his thrusts to take him more deeply. 
Rolan thought he might shatter apart. Waves of searing desire swept harder and harder through him. She took him so perfectly, his cock almost painfully gripped by her tightening walls, so wet and lush and sweet and for him–
A hand flew up to the back of her neck to grasp and to pull her down so he could taste her as he came. Lips crashed together frantically as the pace of their bodies started coming apart at the seams. 
In one bright concentrated moment, she shook and trembled violently into him as she grasped for whatever part of him she could reach. He managed one last stuttering thrust before his climax was ripped from him by her own, spilling inside of her clenching center, hurling him outside himself and into the wide Astral plane.
They shuddered against each others' bodies as white-hot waves receded outward farther and farther. Her head dropped to his shoulder as though she'd lost all muscle control. 
He felt her slowing breaths fan out across his chest, and he rested a hand on the back of her head to keep her there.
-
As Rolan stared up at the wood-paneled ceiling above them, something cold dripped down at the base of him. He realized he was still inside of her. He swung his free arm over the side of the bed–still woozy enough from his climax that he nearly slid head-first to the floor–and snatched up his rumpled robes to clean them both.
She rolled off him then and cuddled up on her side to watch him. He mirrored her pose, adjusting against the pillows to make a spot for his horns. One of her fingers found the point of his ear and began tracing.
“How do you feel?” She asked. 
Rolan sighed deeply. “Happy.” He could cast around for another dozen words, but he’d rather take her in. He smoothed a hand up and down along the curve of her side.
“So do I.” She leaned over to spread light kisses along his lips, then his jaw and cheek. His tail brushed against her leg in an idle caress. 
She glanced down. “I didn’t actually know about…that.”
“Am I your first Tiefling?” He teased, though the thought genuinely pleased him.
“First and last,” she replied. The words were instantly locked away in his chest. 
She gave a little shiver then, tucking her body against his warmth. He dug the covers up over themselves and wrapped her up tight with his arms and legs. The simple feeling of holding her brought him a deep sense of calm.
“I love this, Rolan.” Her lips moved against the hollow at the base of his neck. “I wish I could take tonight and carry it with me everywhere.”
Something sparked in him at her words. He opened his eyes and reluctantly released her to feel around the floor at the floor for his stained robe.
"What are you doing over there?" She lifted her head curiously to peer over the bedside. 
"Just need to find something." He rummaged through his layers of discarded clothing before finally, his knuckle grazed something hard.
He slid back up under the covers beside her. She propped herself up against him, resting a palm on his chest with an expectant look.
He held out his thumb and index finger. Between them, an amber stone glinted in the dim light.
Her mouth fell open in recognition. For one second, he was afraid she might cry.
Then she buried her head in the crook of his neck, wrapping both arms tight around him. "I knew you were a darling all along." 
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dotster001 · 11 months
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Quiet End
A/N: Your first non canon, custom content end is here! I've tagged everyone from the of tag list, and everyone who voted for this particular end. If you wanna add your vote for the next one, you can do so in the comments here.
Chapters: Part One Part Two Part Three Choose Another ending
You have to do this! It's all you've been talking about for a week!"
"I just can't!"
Idia was all dressed in a suit and bow tie, but stubbornly standing outside the door to the restaurant. Ortho gave him a pleading look.
"Idia! Come on! Pull it together! You'll always regret it if you don't go in there!"
As Idia was about to send out another string of curses, when an angry Grim, wearing a bow tie, and holding a clipboard, slammed open the door and stomped over to Idia.
"Shroud, pull yourself together or, I swear to the seven, Ashengrotto and I will have a reconciliation, and you'll never have another chance with Y/N!"
With that shout out of his system, he stormed back into the restaurant, probably to try and tell the band and you that "your date" was still coming.
Idia was still frozen, but now it wasn't just out of social anxiety, it was the anxiety that if he blew tonight, he blew any chance of future nights with you.
"Okay, that's it," Ortho said, pushing Idia.
"No…"Idia said through gritted teeth.
"Initiating thrusters," Ortho said, and Idia heard the thrusters kick in, and felt Ortho's pushing get significantly stronger.
"No, no no!"
Once Ortho had pushed him through the door, he let him go, and escaped back out, leaving Idia to make eye contact with you and the band. A smile bloomed across your face, and you waved at him.
Idia took a steadying breath, and robotically walked over to your table, taking a seat.
"Sorry I'm late," he muttered.
"It's totally fine! I'm just happy that you're my date. The last date Grim set me up on was with Azul, and, well, I'm sure you heard how that went."
Idia nodded. The entirety of NRC had heard the story of how Grim had been roped into a contract with Azul, so that Azul could date you. Only a select few knew the truth, though.  Azul had begun construction on a second branch, which meant his income was slightly lower this quarter. And Grim wasn't that good at business math. Which meant Idia was in.
"You're happy it's me?" He asked, unable to hold eye contact with you.
"I mean, yeah. Of course I'm happy it's you! I like you. Quite a lot," you grinned, and his hair turned a deep red as he buried himself in his hoodie like a turtle.
As if the moment couldn't get anymore overwhelming, you looked over your shoulder at Grim, who was yelling at the singer in the band, and then leaned in enough that he could deeply inhale your scent.
"Wanna get outta here?"
….
The two of you were quietly walking along campus. Neither of you spoke, but neither of you needed too. It was a comfortable silence.
At length, Idia muttered," I quite like you, too."
You looked startled, but then smiled happily.
"I'm so happy, Idia. Thank you."
"Why? I'm just a loser otaku, with freaky blue hair…"
"Sevens, Idia! You're sweet, you're smart, you're funny, and despite how you feel, you're quite hot. Like that jawline could cut glass, dude."
He looked at you, not convinced.
"My god, I have to do everything around here," you said with a groan, before grabbing his face and kissing him.
His eyes widened in shock, but as he watched, you seemed to be enjoying the kiss. So he closed his eyes, and just took you in, letting the moment be.
"Y/N! Shroud!" 
You separated, and he couldn't stop himself from chasing your lips, until he realized that the angry sound was Grim.
"Both of you skipped out on your rather expensive date, so I just had to pay the bill. I expect rapid reimbursement."
You raised an eyebrow at Grim, then rolled your eyes.
"Whatever, Grimmy. Your money comes from me anyway."
"Don't sass me! This has been a rather stressful evening! We're going home, and neither of you gets to see each other until you've learned your lesson."
He stormed off, and you made to follow, but not before leaning in to Idia and whispering, "Let's do this in your room next time."
His heart was so full as he watched you leave, a dreamy sigh on his lips.
....
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828 notes · View notes
ellabehavior · 11 months
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Matilda ~ JJ Maybank ✯
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Summary: You’ve grown up not being able to show much affection because of your family, but JJ knows just how to heal your wounds.
Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mention of abuse, a lil suggestive content
A/N: hope y’all enjoy! request r open!
-
You've always been rather cautious about accepting hugs from people. Even as a young child, you might have hesitantly accepted a hug or just stood there not really knowing what to do. Likewise, expressing your love has always been difficult for you because it’s not something you would do very often inside your house hold.
Your parents never really said the words ‘I love you’. Sure, they’d sometimes give words of affirmation once in every blue moon, or they might hug you on special occasions but you never really got the feeling of true family love.
As a kid you would always watch family movies, or look at your friends parents and wonder ‘why are they so nice?’ or ‘how come they rarely argue?’
That is when you started realizing this behavior is not normal.
But once you and JJ started dating, things started to change; your displays of affection began to get stronger and more obvious.
He showed you how to love.
Your dreams, your kisses, your hearts, and your love for each other were all shared by the two of you.
You and JJ both know every last detail about one another. You were able to wipe away every tear that came from JJ's memories with kisses since you were aware of JJ's father and his early years. This may be why you two matched so well.
However, your family? You preferred not to bring it up. Naturally, your partner was aware of the awful ways in which your parents treated you, but you would never go into detail because doing so would trigger unpleasant memories.
That is until one sleepless night you couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Jay” you whispered through your tears trying to wake him up out of his sleep.
“Baby?” He rubbed his eyes and seen the tears pouring down your face “Baby no, come here.” He said with a pout and pulled you in.
“JJ I had a dream about my parents and it brought back everything, and my mom was telling me about how I didn’t deserve you and-”
JJ then placed a soft kiss on your lips to calm you down.
“Calm down baby, i’m right here for you. I’ll be here all night. It was just a dream, i’m forever yours I promise.” He says in a soothing voice while rubbing your back hoping it’ll calm you even a little bit.
Since your mother called you on the phone two days earlier, he was aware that something was wrong. You’ve have been so silent since that phone call, he was skeptical about what was said, but he decided to not push it unless you were ready to tell him.
After a few minutes of crying and back rubs you’ve finally chilled out enough to tell him what was going on.
“When my mother called me two days ago, I thought it would be good and we could just catch up. I thought she'd be happy of me for where I've gone in life, but all she did was yell and tell me how she wishes I were different. I've been having dreams ever since, and I can't handle it any more.” At the end of your sentence, your voice begins to tremble, indicating another sob.
JJ immediately notices this and pulls you in tighter.
“Baby, please don’t ever believe those words. I fell in love with you for who you are, your the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Everything about you is perfect to me, the way you giggle, the way you snore, and even when you upset me I can’t find a single flaw about you.” He says with his hands on both sides of your cheeks.
“I don’t deserve to be loved by someone like you.” you whisper
“Don’t even say that.” JJ says in a serious tone with tears starting to form in his eyes. “I wouldn’t even be able to think without you, much less live without you.”
The look in his eyes was very serious. You were his oxygen, he never wanted to hear something like that from you. Without you, he wouldn't be able to breathe.
JJ finally broke the built up tension and pressed your lips together. Minutes upon minutes of the need to be closer to eachother.
You depended the kiss and pushed JJ back so you were on top of him.
“Jay” you said staring into his eyes while unbuttoning his pants.
He softly pushed you off and buttoned his pants back up. “Not tonight baby, I want to show you my love in a different way.” he breathed out
“Okay.” you said while he laid down and pushed you against him.
That night all you guys did was share little pecks, talk about stupid things, and hold onto eachother tight.
This was it, this is what you’ve been searching for since you were 7. This is what your parents swore would never happen to you, This is true unconditional love.
“I love you J”
“I love you more.”
-
‘I can't be who you
want me to be if who that is isn't who I am.
To love me is to accept me.’
- Baggage Reclaim
609 notes · View notes
arkhammaid · 3 months
Text
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— ˚₊‧⁺˖THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | THE GRID'S REACTION
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fandom. formula one & mcu
about. the grid reacts to the news!
content warnings. some drivers are acting like assholes, some cursewords, 23!grid
notes. have another reaction chapter hehe
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daniel ricciardo Guys
Guys wake up
IT'S IMPORTANT
lando norris ???
daniel it's 5am, why are you spamming rn
carlos sainz It's summer break, why can't you all shut up for once
daniel ricciardo Did no one see the news? Stark is coming to F1
carlos sainz To a race?
daniel ricciardo No you shithead, he's making a team
charles leclerc !!!!
lando norris at this point you'll never win monaco (because once stark joins, there no longer will BE monaco) charles leclerc Fuck you, nowins
daniel ricciardo This is serious... Tony fucking Stark wants to create an F1 team for the next season. @/max verstappen your winning streak will be over
charles leclerc Next season??? I thought for 26?
lewis hamilton Of course he would do that
charles leclerc Lewis, explain?? daniel ricciardo Yeah Lewis, please explain?
lewis hamilton Did any of you ever meet Tony? He will probably see the next season as test for the 2026 season. To train his mechanics and engineers and go all out. I bet many are saying it's a waste of money
carlos sainz It is a waste of money.
daniel ricciardo Yeah, they do. Reactions vary but 'experts' are saying that Tony is just wasting his time and should properly prepare for 26
lewis hamilton Knowing him, he already has a fully built car for 2026 and it's a beast.
fernando alonso Only the best for his daughter!
charles leclerc What. lando norris wdym his daughter??
george russell Why are you all awake at this bloody hour?
kevin magnussen Read the room. Everyone is in schock.
sergio perez Stupid. She will fail like every woman in motorsport with a rich father. Too dramatic.
lando norris i'm still confused???
oscar piastri Tony Stark has three children. Harley Keener-Stark, Y/n L/n-Stark, Peter Parker-Stark. Y/n is his only biological child and currently racing in Formula 3. She won Formula 4 last year.
charles leclerc I thought he only had sons?? When did Y/n appear? oscar piastri She 'appeared' the first time in January this year as Tony's daughter, no one knew before. lando norris how did you know? oscar piastri Google exists.
carlos sainz So daddy's money... great.
max verstappen I swear to god I will leave this chat the next time you all decide to fucking gossip at 6am like old women
daniel ricciardo It's important news!
max verstappen No it's not. Stark will be in F1 for a few years maximum and then leave again. It will pass
daniel ricciardo @/lewis hamilton you here? Don't you have anything else to add??
Fine, I'll guess I just ask the rest of the grid, you fucking bore.
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daniel ricciardo @/everyone wakey wakey, it's time to wake up and talk!
mick schumacher Daniel? What's up?
george russell Ignore him. He has been annoying us because Tony Stark is coming to F1 and no one really cares. charles leclerc Lies and slander! I care!! lando norris yeah! me as well, idk what you're yapping abt
carlos sainz It's bullshit.
arthur leclerc Why do I have a bad feeling about Monaco...
ollie bearman THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING bianca bustamante It will be something for sure
lance stroll Well, I'm just happy to see another friendly face at the paddock :)
carlos sainz Of course you know Stark.
lance stroll You're just jealous esteban ocon As am I??? I'm your best friend AND MY BEST FRIEND HAS THE POTENTIAL OF KNOWING SPIDER-MAN???? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???????
daniel ricciardo I want everyone who knows anything related to Stark to immediately share with us because Lewis is ignoring me and I need to know. The only info we have right now, is that Stark will make a F1 team and that's it. I refuse to believe that's it. So, @/mick schumacher @/lance stroll spill the beans.
mick schumacher He didn't say anything last time I saw him, so I can't help you much.
lance stroll I know nothing, ask my dad.
daniel ricciardo I don't believe you.
pato o'ward If they say they don't know anything, then they don't? I don't know what's the problem, just wait for the next press release
max verstappen Do you even know Daniel. He's unable to wait for gossip. And he classifies this as gossip
daniel ricciardo Gee, thanks, feeling the love here
nico hülkenberg I wake up to 100+ notifications, why are you all like this?
kevin magnussen They're all idiots.
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kevin magnussen @/tony stark could you please speed up with the press release? Daniel is setting all grid chats on fire and it's not funny anymore.
y/n stark ha, weak ass bitch kevin magnussen Watch your mouth missy
tony stark Should I tag Seb in a Tweet to announce it?
peter stark do it y/n stark do it harley stark do it
pepper potts-stark Don't do it. We will proceed with the plan. No matter how annoying the people in your private life are.
kevin magnussen Yes, ma'am, sorry for asking.
sebastian vettel I deserve more than a Tweet at 10am.
y/n stark speak your truth king peter stark sorry for suggesting otherwise (@/yn stark stop being such an attention seeker, we all know seb loves charles the most) y/n stark but charles is not here rn is he?
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daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!
carlos sainz What is going on now...
charles leclerc KMAG FOR STARK???? I didn't put this on my bingo card, now I lost 100 bucks. Fuck you Kevin
arthur leclerc Pay up bitch
oscar piastri Well done, man
nico hülkenberg And so he leaves he burning, ever sinking ship... the true hero- sorry, I meant coward
daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen I KNOW YOU'RE ONLINE YOU COWARD, COME HERE
I just want to talk to you
kevin magnussen No.
*kevin magnussen has left the chat*
fernando alonso There is your answer
several people are typing...
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taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel, @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles, @fangirl-dot-com , @nichmeddar , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikfigueiredo , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora, @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 @greeneyesandsunshine , @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @woozarts , @leclucklerc , @yl90
crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!
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ARKHAM MAID 2024
609 notes · View notes
archangeldyke-all · 2 months
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Have u ever done amab sevika getting her ass eat or her being really needy for her gfs strap?
hehehe, i've done sub-top amab ceo sevika, but i haven't done bottom ceo sevika yet!
disclaimer! im cis, so please lmk if there are any mistakes and ill fix it asap!
men and minors dni
"when was the last time you got high?" you ask.
sevika looks up from her book with an eyebrow raised as she shifts her attention to you on the other side of bed. you've got a mischievous look in your eye, and it makes her smile.
"why?" she asks. you shrug.
"i dunno. i've known you for about a year now, and we've been dating for a few months, but i just realized i've never seen you high." you say. sevika considers this, chewing on her cheek before she speaks.
"it's been a while. probably since before i became ceo." she says. you hum.
"we should probably do something to change that." you tease. sevika smiles, throwing her book onto her bedside table before reaching over and pulling you into her arms, curling her body around yours.
you giggle as she adjusts your body, waiting for her to get comfortable before you wrap your arms around her.
"how's this weekend sound?" you ask. sevika nods against your tits.
"you gonna smoke me out?" she asks. you giggle.
"no, i don't want to stink your place up. i'll get us edibles, it'll be fun." you say. sevika just hums as she nuzzles against you, ready to go to sleep.
"sounds like a plan, baby." she mumbles. you snort and elbow her.
"don't fall asleep, you didn't turn the lights off yet!"
sevika groans dramatically as she pulls herself off of you and over to her little nightstand. she flicks the lamp off, then jumps back on top of you, both of you giggling as you adjust in each other's arms.
you guys share a chocolate bar on saturday morning.
sevika swears that she doesn't feel anything for the first two hours, and you just roll your eyes at your stubborn girlfriend.
by the time lunch rolls around, though, she's definitely starting to feel it. you can tell.
her eyes are hooded, and a soft smile's taken over her features. she's still in her sleep-wrinkled pajamas, and when she starts giggling at nothing, you know it's kicked in.
you're no better than her, but you're a little more used to the feeling. you grin as you watch sevika snicker, nudging her with your toe.
"you feeling it?" you ask. sevika smiles at you.
"nah." she says. you burst into laughter.
"yeah fuckin' right!" you laugh. sevika smiles a goofy grin at you and she crawls across the couch to flop on top of you, nuzzling her nose against your neck. you hum as you start scratching her scalp.
"mmm... you're so warm..." she hums as she slides her hand under your shirt to grope your tits. you giggle.
"you're cute." you sigh.
"you're cute. everything feels so good right now." sevika sighs happily. "thanks for getting me high."
you laugh. "anytime, baby." you promise, kissing her scalp.
you enjoy the moment for a while. sunlight is seeping through the windowed walls of sevika's penthouse, bathing the two of you in warmth and light. you're feeling floaty and content, and there's nowhere you need to be, nothing you need to do. the break is nice.
but after a while, sevika's breath starts to even out, and you know she's on the verge of falling asleep. you'd be happy to take a mid-afternoon weekend nap with your girl, but you don't want the edible to go to waste.
"hey." you say, nudging her from where she lays on top of you. she grunts against you. "don't sleep. we should do something fun." you say. sevika grunts again. "we could watch tv?" you suggest. sevika shakes her head. "i could make you a snack?" this gets her attention, and she lifts her head up from your tits to consider this.
you watch in adoration as sevika hazily tries to make up her mind about what she wants to eat, gnawing on her bottom lip while she thinks. you can't help but reach up and cup her cheek as she considers your offer. she leans into it automatically, nuzzling your palm.
an impish expression takes over her face as her eyes catch on yours, and she smiles. "what do i need a snack for when i've already got you?" she asks. you giggle. "get it?" she asks, giggling herself. "'cause you're a snack, babe." she explains. you laugh.
"i got it sev." you say. she grins, and swoops down to press her mouth against yours.
she's more uncoordinated than usual, and you are too. time's moving slower than usual, and it feels like you could build a whole life in the span of your kiss.
you hum happily as you wrap your arms around your girlfriend, dragging her closer and closer to you until she's flat on top of you, slowly grinding her hips against yours.
when you finally pull away from her lips, you gasp for are, suddenly aware of how long you'd been kissing. "should we--" you cut yourself off with a gasp as sevika starts to suck a hickey into your neck. "should we go to the bedroom?" you ask.
sevika doesn't answer you with words. instead, she shoves her arms under your ass, then pulls up off the couch, carrying you to the bedroom with her head still buried against your neck.
you giggle and wrap your limbs around her body. at the sound of your laughter, sevika starts to giggle too, and by the time she throws the two of you onto the bed, you've both dissolved into a fit of laughter.
"fuck, where did you get that edible?" sevika laughs. you grin, taking advantage of her giggly, pliant state to pin her to the bed as you straddle her.
"seamus makes 'em once a month." you say. sevika falls into another round of laughter at the secret-- her nerdiest, awkwardest accountant is a huge fucking stoner.
"i should fire him." she giggles. you laugh.
"what for!?"
"for not givin' me one of these before." she says. you chuckle, and sit back on your haunches to watch your girlfriend laugh.
she's so pretty. you're high and she looks like... like a sunset. or the ocean. or your favorite movie. you just can't pull your eyes away.
she's got her head thrown back as she laughs, her eyes crinkled up and her gap-tooth on full display.
her shirt's ridden up a bit, the hem resting over her bellybutton, just high enough for you to see the first few inches of her happy trail. her abs are contracting with each of her laughs, her hands are scrunched up into the blankets beneath her, and you're suddenly overcome with lust.
it hits you like a truck. you've been turned on since she started kissing you, but now you're ravenous. you can't think beyond the woman in front of you, and you're dying to show her what she does to you.
she's still giggling, wiping tears from her eyes, and you surge forward, tearing at her shirt.
sevika gasps at your sudden desperation to get her naked, but you shut her up by shoving your fingers in her mouth before she can even ask. she moans as you tear at her pants with your free hand, your mouth otherwise occupied with sucking on her tits.
sevika's shivering beneath you, moaning around your fingers and trying to kick her pajama pants off. you pull off of her tit with a pop, taking your fingers out of her mouth so you can sit up and hover over her.
her eyes are blown and big, and she seems to have forgotten she has arms, her hands clutching the blanket beneath her instead of reaching up to grope you like they usually do.
"can i make you feel good?" you ask. sevika gulps and nods.
"yes please." you grin-- sevika's kinda subby when she's high. you think fondly, tucking that information away for later.
"tell me what you want."
"your mouth." she whimpers. you grin, kissing her on the cheek before you quickly trail kisses down her chest, taking a second to lovingly bite at each of her tits before you lick all the way down her happy trail, tugging her boxers off as you go.
sevika has such a pretty dick. you could look at it all day long, honestly. you feel yourself clench around nothing as you watch it flop out of her boxers, eager to be free, and smack her abs.
her hips are squirming beneath you, but she's patient as you study her. her cock's twitching in time with her heartbeat, and a tiny little pool of pre-cum's forming on her abs. you lick your lips.
"i love you." you sigh. sevika whimpers, and her dick spurts a little bit more pre. you grin.
"i love you too." she whines. you kiss her hip.
"say please." you say, just because you've never seen her so sweet and compliant in bed before, and you wanna see how far you can take it.
"please please please ple--"
"i got you, baby." you cut her off. she sighs in relief, and you smile, pressing a kiss to the tip of her dick. she twitches and whines, and you decide to stop teasing her, finally taking her into your mouth.
sevika cries in relief, and you reach up to intertwine your fingers with hers. she squeezes your hand.
you sink your head down, taking her a good six inches before pulling back up and trying again. with a few bobs of your head, you manage to relax enough to take her all the way. she whines, a pathetic, high pitched thing, and you blink up at her. she gasps as your eyes meet.
your drool starts to collect around her shaft, and you pull off to jack her off for a second while you breathe. you smile at her.
"you taste amazing." you sigh. sevika shivers, humping her hips up into the air and widening her legs. you laugh, taking the hint, and put your mouth back on her cock.
she fucks your mouth with a few quick thrusts, and you gag, caught off guard. eventually she settles back down, letting you pull off and glare at her. she just giggles.
fine. if she wants to play dirty, you can play dirty.
you duck down and suck her balls into your mouth, and sevika gasps, her legs scrambling while her thighs twitch.
"fuck! cut it out!" she whines.
"why? you gonna cum already?" you tease. she huffs, digging her nails into your hand, squirming beneath you.
you would go on teasing her if your mind didn't just screech to a halt as you catch a glimmer of something between her legs.
"what the fuck was that?" you growl as you spread and pin her legs to the bed. she gasps, sitting propped up on her elbows so she can gawk at you.
"what?" she asks, panicked. you can't answer-- too busy taking in the mindbogglingly hot image of a pretty pink butt-plug in your girlfriend's ass. without your words readily available, you just answer sevika's question by tugging on the little jewel.
she gasps and collapses on the bed, her eyes rolling back in her skull. "fuck i forgot i put that there." she says. you giggle.
"you forgot?" you tease, suddenly able to talk again. sevika reaches up to hide her face, clearly embarrassed. you bite her thigh and she jolts.
"i put it in this morning." she explains. "weed makes me..." she trails off.
you grin at the half-revelation and tug at the plug again, watching in fascination as her dick jumps.
"can i fuck you?" you ask.
sevika moans, her hips flying off the bed, and you giggle.
"is that a yes?"
"please!" she cries.
"get on all fours, i'll go put the strap on."
sevika scrambles to follow your directions, but you stop her before she can get far. "wait!" you call. she freezes, and you duck down to lick up the little pool of pre that had formed on her abs, then kiss the skin. "okay, you can go now." you say. sevika grins, and you kiss her cheek as you scramble off the bed to get strapped up.
you fumble with your harness, watching as sevika slowly, seductively turns over on bed before lifting her hips up to present her ass to you. you laugh.
"you're such a slut." you chastise. sevika giggles as she rests her head against her folded forearms.
"you like me like this." she says. you giggle and nod.
"damn right i do." you say as you crawl behind her, smacking her ass and watching her jump.
she wiggles it at you tantalizingly, and you smile at the sight. you grab the base of her plug, giving it a tug and giggling at the way her thighs twitch, before pulling it out all the way.
you groan at the sight of sevika's hole, gaping for a few moments before winking closed.
"i'm so in love with you." you sigh. sevika giggles.
"i love you t--oh!" she cries as you stick your tongue into her ass as far as it can go. sevika's hips fall toward the bed, but you grip them in your hands, keeping her steady so you can bury your face in her ass.
"oh my god, oh my god, fuck, fuck, please, i love you so much, please!" sevika begs as you suck and kiss her rim sloppily.
"please what?" you ask. sevika groans, shifting backwards to press herself against your face again. you groan as she smothers you with her ass, her legs spreading farther and farther on the bed until she's practically limp against it while you hold her up by the hips.
"p-please fuck me, i wanna cum on your cock but you're gonna-- you're gonna, fuck right there!" she cries.
you pull away for a quick breath. "get the lube." you demand before diving back in.
sevika cries, shakily smacking the bedside drawer for the lube bottle, then tossing it behind her before collapsing face first on the sheets. you just sink down with her, your tongue buried in her ass, getting even higher off the sweet sounds of her whimpers and whines.
"you need fingers?" you ask when you finally pull away, lubing up your strap. sevika shakes her head urgently.
"no, fuck no, 's why i had the plug in, please-- just need you, just need your cock, baby." she rambles against her pillow. you laugh and smack her ass one more time.
you don't tease her much more. using one hand to spread her ass and the other to line the strap up, you slowly sink into your girlfriend, groaning as you watch your strap disappear into her inch by inch.
when you bottom out, you sigh gustily. sevika picks her head up from the mattress, the blanket between her teeth as she moans.
"you okay?" you whisper.
you don't get an answer. instead, sevika jumps up on her knees and pushes her hips and ass up in the air, taking your hips with her. you gasp as she starts fucking herself backwards on your strap, a loud, smacking noise starting to echo through the bedroom.
"fuck fuck, please fuck me, i need you to fuck me, i need--"
you cut her off with a hand to the back of her neck as you push her against the mattress, starting to pound into her. sevika squeals, half laughter half moan as you fuck her.
"like this?" you grunt out. sevika nods into the pillow beneath her.
"yes, yes, yes--"
"fuck, i love you. you're so fucking hot, i love you so fucking much, i'm gonna cum so hard--"
"inside me." sevika suddenly demands. you nearly cum at the words. instead, you flop forward to plaster your chest against sevika's back, nodding against her shoulder.
"of course, baby. of course. want me to knock you up, huh?" you ask.
it's risky, you've never teased about sevika's breeding kink when she's on bottom, but it pays off incredibly fucking well if the way sevika suddenly clenches around your strap and growls is any indication.
you're both sweaty and sticky, huffing for air as you rut into one another.
you're so high, you don't know if it's sevika or the edible or a bit of both, but you're pretty sure you're higher than you've ever been. it feels like you're melting into her, melting into the bed, into the earth, slow and gentle and warm like honey. you've never felt so warm in your life.
"i'm gonna-- baby--"
"you gonna cum?" you ask. sevika nods. "good, it'll help the pregnancy take." you grunt.
sevika suddenly gasps, shivers, then goes completely limp against the bed. you continue to fuck into her as she cums into the bedsheets below, until you're cumming in her ass and collapsing on top of her.
you're pretty sure you don't fall asleep... there's ten minutes there where you're both trying to catch your breath and find your words again after your orgasms where you might have drifted off, but you think it's just the edible making your mind... silent.
eventually, though, you manage to speak.
"you okay?" you mumble. sevika bursts into giggles beneath you.
"i didn't know i had a breeding kink like that." she says. you giggle.
"it's hot, right?" you ask. she nods, and you lift your face up just enough to kiss the knob of her spine. "i need to get you high way more fucking often." you mumble. sevika snorts.
"you just want to top more."
"yeah, i do, and you always manage to seduce me out of it when you're sober. i need you stupid so i can have my way with you." you say. sevika shivers again and you grin, biting her shoulder. "you like it-- don't act like you don't. you're laying in the proof."
sevika giggles. "i love it." she admits shyly. you grin, pulling out of her and kissing her shoulder when she cringes, before helping her turn over and out of her puddle of cum.
"i love it too. you're real cute when you let someone else be the boss for a while." you say. sevika giggles.
"you're the only one i ever met competent enough to boss me around." she replies.
you laugh, then swoop down to kiss her again.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved
126 notes · View notes
sehodreams · 4 months
Note
Have you seen the discussion around wonbin's short height? Can you think of a way to make his short height sexy and dark? Maybe his short stature gives the illusion that he's weak or a pushover but in fact his aura is huge and intimidating? idk i trust your ideas are better teehee
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Summary: You wanted to try something new, and your sweet classmate was the perfect option, but what happens when the kind little boy feels insulted when you call him a virgin? Of course he makes you say you're sorry.
WC: 5.7K
TW and tags: nerd!dom!Wonbin x sub!plus size!reader (I feel she’s something more but I have no idea what to call her), hard dom!Wonbin, spitting, hair pulling, use of names (slut, whore), extreme dubcon, a part of noncon, teasing, mocking, overstimulation, use of sex toys, use of the term virgin as an insult, spanking, masturbation, lots of filthy stuff.
Comment: Sorry for taking so long, I can’t write short stuff, I’m trying, but I end up writing these long ass stories because even if my english vocabulary is lacking, the filthiness of my mind not lol. This is dark, if you don’t like this kind of content please just scroll. Also, the hair pulling scene was inspired from @///403tarot and his reading for Wonbin, i just can't stop thinking about it, thank you lord. (edit: I hope you like it anon, sorry if it's not what you expected)
You had a type, you weren't exactly sure if it was because you liked how they looked or how they made you feel, but all the boys you dated were almost identical, from the height to the roughness of their hands, the callouses they had from training were always on the same spots and they even acted the same way, because they always cheated on you.
You didn't know why, but those fit guys always looked your way, as if conquering you was the next step in their bulking plan, and you accepted because you loved to feel small by their side, it was pretty difficult to find boys that made you feel like that, protected and tender, because you were a big girl, and also you didn't have much option since most boys around preferred skinny girls, so you didn't have much experience meeting other kind of boys that caught your attention.
"Maybe you should try something different, you never know, it doesn't have to be a lanky guy, but maybe you could start with younger boys, I've heard they're fun too" your friend said, and you nodded, if you wanted something different you had to break the pattern, but with who?
You looked at your options around, there were a few cute guys in your classes, and even if you were big, you wouldn't accept just anyone, you had to like them, so maybe Anton from philosophy could be a good option, he was younger than you, or Eunseok from social studies, he was your age, but lanky as hell, Sungchan from history?, he was kind of a gym bro too, but not like your exes, and he was more sweet than normal, maybe that could work.
You were thinking about it when Wonbin sat next to you and pulled a folder out of his backpack "I know we had until the weekend to send the essay but I've been free these days and I already finished it, I did your part so you didn't have to, but I brought it in case you wanted to change something" he shyly moved the folder your way, giving you a soft smile.
Sweet Wonbin, with his squared glasses and his ugly ass flannels, he always knew what to do to make you happy, maybe he could be a good option, he was different from your usual type, short and skinnier than normal, and pretty instead of handsome, he'd have never caught your attention before, but he was nice, so you could at least do him a little favor and let him touch a real girl, because even if it sounded bad, you were sure he had never done it before, you just had to see the way his eyes avoided yours when you talked, or the anime girl he had on his phone background.
"Wonbin you're the best!" You said, making him smile more, "I was about to talk to you actually, my computer's been acting weird these days and I was wondering if you could come to my house and check it, I heard you fixed Shotaro's laptop not long ago" You asked, touching his arm and looking at him with your doe eyes. Your computer was fine, but you wanted to be alone with him, and you knew he'd do anything for you.
Just like you expected, he nodded eagerly, telling you he was free whenever you needed him.
And like that, the next day you had him in your room, both of you in front of your computer sitting shoulder to shoulder, he telling you something about you not needing to invest in some antivirus because he could install you one for free, and you nodding to everything he said, watching his slender fingers write stuff you didn't understand on the keyboard.
He had finished quick, not finding anything out of normal, telling you to call him in case your computer acted weird again, so he could immediately see what was wrong.
You thanked him and offered him a cup of tea before he left, sitting next to him on the little table on the floor next to your bed. You decided to make some conversation while he finished his tea, "thank you so much Wonbin, my boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend, was the one who checked my computer, you have no idea how much I appreciate your help" you said.
He nodded, "it's nothing, don't worry" he murmured. You didn't know how to approach the idea of you two having a date, so you waited for him to talk, but he didn't.
You were like that for an uncomfortable minute, so you started to ramble about school stuff while he continued drinking his tea, at least he seemed more at ease after he laughed to something you said. You were about to show him some papers you had in one of your drawers, crawling to your desk since it was just next you, but when you went back to where you were sitting you saw him stiff, with his backpack covering his lap.
You didn't have to be a genius to know what he was hiding, you just didn't expect it to happen so fast, you had showed him a flash of the back of your thighs, and he was already like that, you expected him to be a virgin, but to that point? it was even kind of laughable.
He was looking down to his cup, fingers playing with the handle, not daring to directly look at you, a bit too shy for you, but you saw the opportunity and took it, "everything okay?" you asked him. You were on your knees, chest close to him, and your hand brushed his arm to make him look at your direction.
The air got hotter and you saw him gulp, this was new, kind of exciting, to see a boy be like that, you were too used to the brute kind of man that would have already pushed you to the floor to take you and seeing him so nervous was kind of fun too.
Your eyelids fluttered, almost closing, and your mouth approached him, he looked at you, waiting, and didn't move when you kissed him, it was more a fast peck on the lips, pulling away as fast as you gave it to him, just a little teasing for him to make the next move.
You held your breath, the tip of your nose touching his and expecting a kiss back, but he only talked, "I... I shouldn't, I have a partner".
"What?" You said shocked with his answer, immediately moving back and away from his face, you just couldn't believe it, you were there, offering yourself to that boy, and he already had a girlfriend? Since when? You had never seen him maintain a conversation with another girl who wasn't you, and if you were honest, luckily you had seen him with two or three friends. Still, you felt bad for talking with that tone to him, as if it was unbelievable that someone liked him, "No, I'm sorry, that sounded really bad, I didn't mean too, I just... I didn't expect you to have a girlfriend."
"Why would you say that?" He said, frowning his eyebrows to your shock.
"Oh, it's just... I don't know, I thought since you always go around alone and you're an..." You didn't finish your sentence, you just looked at him, not knowing how to fix your mistake.
"Wow, so you think no one could like me because of the things I like? You're fat and everyone thinks you're a slut, but I don't say those things to you" he spat back.
You stood up, he was in your house, insulting you, when you only wanted to get closer to him? "What the fuck? Wonbin, that's too much", he could reject you, but not like that. "Get the fuck out of my house" you told him, opening your door for him to leave your room. He stood up too, walking to you, and he was about to do it, to end that interaction and leave your house, until you talked again, "that's what I get for trying to help a fucking virgin."
The room got tense, you crossed your arms, waiting for him to leave, and he was glaring at you, still, as if he had any right to be mad with you.
His gaze made you uncomfortable after a long minute, he was watching you with a serious face you had never seen before, and the air was heavy, like taunting you, but you maintained the eye contact, not letting win.
"Apologize" he demanded, making you snicker, who the hell he thought he was?
"Or what? Virgin" you answered, tired of his little mind game.
His eyes didn't flicker, unmoved with your behavior, tired of your bullshit, he talked again. "Sit" he said, looking extremely pissed off, and you don't know why, but when you saw how his eyes got darker and his whole demeanor changed, you felt he was going to do something, and it kind of intimidated you, but it also made you curious, so you took your old spot without question.
He was coldly staring at you from where he was, then, he walked in front of you, standing while you sat there on your knees and looked up to him, not knowing why, but expecting him to talk or do something. "Do you think everyone is as easy as you? You should respect you and others more, no one likes a dumb slut."
You scoffed, not believing his words. "At least I get laid" you talked back with a grin on your face.
He showed you the same grin and grabbed your chin, making you look at him in the eyes, "do you really not know what they say about you? Everyone knows you're just a hole waiting for some dick to fill her, they all talk about it, how you're fucking disgusting, a fat bitch waiting for someone to look her way so she can get fucked, they say your pussy is so used you're not even fun to fuck anymore."
The way he said that sent a shiver through your back, hurting you and the little dignity you had, making your eyes get slightly wet, but you blinked and made those tears go back.
"Then why are you still here?" You spat, resentful with him, he wasn't the sweet boy you thought he was, and he was starting to agitate you.
"You need to see that not everything goes your way, and that you can't go around behaving like a dumb whore, it's not cute at all, but don't worry, after I finish with you, you'll be a good girl again, like when we met, before those jerks filled your brain with their stupidity" he said that so sure of himself, full of disdain, his shoulders suddenly appeared bigger and you felt small down there.
"What are you going to do, fuck me? Don't you think that's silly considering I brought you here for that?" He shook his head to your question.
"Believe me, what I'm going to do to you will make you wish you hadn't brought me here" You wanted to ask what he meant with that, but he had started to unfasten his belt, being clear on what he was about to do. "From now on, you can only talk if I ask you something, apart from that I want you to do what I tell you and shut up."
"What the-" you couldn't finish your sentence, his hand had been too fast for you to pay attention to it, and had slapped your face so loud the sound of it echoed in the room, leaving you shaken on your knees, and just how he wanted, silent.
"I've been clear, I hate stupid questions, you're a big girl and you should understand what I say when I say it" you hated him, you hated how he was treating you, you hated the tone of his voice, as if he had any authority over you, you hated him so much, or at least that's what you thought, you couldn't understand why suddenly there was a fire starting on your lower abdomen, and why your pussy was hurting so much you had to clench your thighs right there in front of him, "never forget it, I don't like to repeat myself"
You didn't move, not even a nod, he didn't ask you anything, so you stayed there in silence, on your place, making him smile in result, pleased with you.
"Now be good and come here", he had sat on the border of your bed and patted his lap, you saw the belt on his hand and your eyes got wet again, afraid of what he was about to do to you. Seconds went by and you didn't move, which made his face get a little red. He closed his eyes and sighed, annoyed with you, "you want me to get angry?"
You denied with your head, eyes big and frightened. You stood up immediately, in front of him, you were about to sit on his lap when he stopped you.
"Face down, ass up"
It couldn't be possible, was he about to spank you? What were you, a fucking kid?
You wanted to protest, feeling incredibly insulted, but with just a glance from him he made you do it, you lied over him, feet dangling in the air, ass in front of him over the expansion of his thighs, and your face down, hiding from him. Ashamed, you couldn't stop the little tears from falling down your cheeks.
His hand lifted the little fabric of your skirt and showed most of your skin, little of it covered only by the thin panties you were wearing, "What do you say, should we start with five? And I want you to count them out loud" you gulped, you had never been spanked before, even less with a belt, you had no idea how painful it would be and that made you feel anxious, your ass hadn't even been touched and you already felt your skin tingling and your pussy leak.
His hand grabbed your hair and he made you lift your face. Your cheeks were damp from your tears and your eyes found his, an exasperated look all over his face, glasses falling down his nose and tongue pushing the inside of his cheek, "do you want me to hurt you? Why aren't you answering?"
"No, I'm sorry" you answered, eyes shaking from his tone.
"Then talk, use your words, I told you to start with five, but now they'll be ten" his grip was hurting your scalp, and you wanted to cry because of how unfair he was being, but you didn't want to make him even more angry, so you accepted it.
"Yes, I'll count, I promise" you said how you could, your voice breaking in your throat.
He let your hair go and you sighed, relieved, but that didn't last long, his hand pried inside your panties, molding your ass with his hand, and then he cupped your pussy, so wet you could feel little drops falling out of you, "fuck, look at this slut, already dripping when I haven't even touched you", he pulled your panties down your thighs and you felt the air touch your naked cunt.
He caressed your skin, appreciating the size of your ass and its form, so round it invited his hand to grope it. He liked it, he always thought about doing it when you were in class, when you walked to the front to talk to the professor or to some of your friends, he stayed on his seat, watching it move from side to side with every step, teasing a place inside his mind he had never paid attention to, because he didn't know how much he could like a curvy girl until he met you, with your tight blouses showing the size of your chest, or your skirts that sometimes showed more than what was considered appropriate, but he always admired you from afar, everyone knew you had a type, those assholes addicted to the gym, and they always flew around you, not leaving anyone else an opportunity to approach you.
He actually liked that you invited him, but he knew you didn't like him, he saw it in your eyes, for you he was just something new and funny to play once, and he didn't want to be just a fuck, he wanted to be something else, when you met you were the sweetest girl he ever saw, sharing your notes with him and including him in work groups, but you changed, and you started to look at him the same way the others did, so you judging him was enough to push the little restraint he had, because no one, especially you, the campus whore, was going to insult him like that.
You were getting used to the felling of his hand touching your skin, even enjoying it, when you felt the first whip, "One!" You screamed almost like a reflex. You hadn't noticed when he grabbed his belt, but the sting of it over your bottom made you dizzy and your lungs couldn't accept the air you tried to breath for a long second, feeling a burning pain.
"Good, continue like that, don't get distracted" he adverted. You nodded how you could, arms and legs shaking from the impact.
"Two!" If you thought the first hurt, the second was even worse, the hot sensation had moved through your skin, burning more of it, almost until your thighs, nerves sending little shocks all around.
You felt the leather accessory brush your back and slowly go down to your ass, finding at some point your pussy lips, he didn't put any pressure over it, but your body moved on its own and lifted your hips, trying to make more contact against the belt.
"Needy whore" he called you, making your pussy throb and you whine.
He continued like that, spanking, teasing, and caressing. You felt your skin irritated, almost brazing, as if your live flesh was already there after all the hits, you were just in the seventh spank when you had cried loud enough for your voice to echo through the whole house, but no one was there, and even if you prayed, no one would be able to help you.
"Eight!" Your voice was loud and clear, tears uncontrollably falling down your cheeks and pussy clenching around nothing, his pants surely had a big wet spot after your pussy dripped all over them and you tried to find any way of pain appeasement rutting to his thigh.
You could feel his boner touch the side of your hip and you didn't need to see it to know it was big, and that, if he didn't fuck you after all those punches, you would suffer even more than with his spanks, because your pussy was so painfully untouched you would go crazy in any second.
Without noticing, you were already in the tenth hit, but before he did it, he opened your folds with his fingers, to see your poor cunt, it was so wet it was shining down then lights of your room, and the second he opened them a line of your wetness started to visibly drop down his thigh.
"Another rule, you can't cum if I don't give you permission" he said, middle finger tracing up and down your slit, poking your hole and then ignoring it to go to your clit and press it.
Your thighs were shaking, you wanted his finger to enter your cunt, you needed it, you wanted to beg but you were afraid of how he'd react, so you didn't, only nodding to him and his order.
The last spank arrived and you screamed the number full of pain, exhausted and somehow elated at the same time, it's over, you thought gladly.
But your body didn't think the same, with that last stroke your pussy had leaked and made a mess over his pants, and he angrily grabbed you by the hair to look at him in the eyes "I told you that you couldn't cum, stupid bitch" he spat, lips moving with fury.
"I didn't-I didn't, I swear" you cried, your hands were over your bed, trying to maintain you in the position he had pulled you to not be as painful as the first time.
"Shut up, now you're talking back? On all your fours" you crawled out of his lap, still wearing your stretched out panties mid thighs and heavily breathing.
You didn't dare to look at him, only hearing him move behind you, situating behind you and opening your ass cheeks with both palms, spitting over your little hole and making you jolt.
You trembled, what if he wanted to fuck your ass? You had never been fucked there, and just the thought made you gulp the saliva accumulating inside your mouth.
Did you want it or not? You didn't know.
"If you weren't such a slut I would've fuck you good long ago, but I thought you only liked steroid dicks, what made you change your mind?" He asked, thumb incredibly close to your little unused hole "have you ever been fucked in the ass?"
"I don't like them, they like me" you said, sound muffled by your pillow "and no, never."
He pressed his thumb, satisfied with your answer, pushing it inside your ass, making your pussy clench of need.
You moaned, no one had played with that place before, and your slick had lubricated you enough, making his touch feel even better, a weird but good sensation.
"Such a pretty hole, sadly you won't get fucked today" he slapped his length against your ass cheek, and you moaned again, you didn't know when he had taken out his dick, but it had you squirming, it felt big, and you were sure it'd hurt if he fucked you.
Your toes curled, it was so wrong, you shouldn't want him, you thought about asking him to stop, you couldn't let him use you, he was unpredictable, you would've never imagined the strength and authority he had, it was so different from his usual self, the Wonbin he had shown to the world wasn't this one at all, where was the lame otaku you shared classes with? You approached him because you thought he'd be soft and even weak, listening to anything you wanted, you just wanted some fun and to try something different, and this was different, but not the way you expected.
"What are you thinking about? I told you to not get distracted" he asked after some time, his hands kept moving around your curves, but when you stopped whining, he knew something else was in your head.
"Can-Can we stop? I'm sorry for what I said, happy?" you spoke, wanting to stop and rest, your ass cheeks were stinging, and you had no idea what was going through his head, which honestly made you fear of his next action, because if he wasn't going to fuck you, what was he going to do?
His hands stopped and you felt his weight fall behind you, eyes all over you, but you continued there, ass up, thighs closed and face against your pillow, waiting for him to talk.
"Okay" you couldn't believe it, you were free, you sighed, relieved for it to end. You stood up, arms and legs shaking, your underwear that was mid thighs fell down and you didn't care, you kick it out of your feet and pulled down your skirt, you were still dressed, so that was good enough for you, you didn't have time to pay attention to how dirty you were, slick dripping out of you with every movement, you just wanted to get out of your room as soon as possible, to hide in your bathroom and wait for him to leave with the protection of being alone in a secluded room, away from him.
You were about to give your first step when you felt a grip on your hair pulling you back with force to the bed, making your body fall on your back and yelp of surprise.
Your body bounced over the mattress, and you saw him laugh loudly, that same laugh you had seen many times before when you joked around him, but this time directed to you, "did you really believe me? You can fuck yourself with your fake ass apology, it only makes me think that I should really fuck the stupidity out of your head before you get worse".
You gasped for air, your chest was heavily trying to breathe again, and your heart was beating fast, full of fear.
"Now, be good and tell me where you have your vibrator, and don't you dare lie to me, dating all those one pump chump, I'm sure you haven't had a proper orgasm unless you played with yourself" even without his warning you wouldn't have lied to him, you knew better than that. You pointed the second drawer on your bedstand, making him grin.
It was magic wand, a powerful vibrator that you received as a gift from your friends, a friendly joke within the group, but you hadn't used it that much, too afraid of its intensity.
He didn't waste any time, he turned it on and the buzzing sound made you close your eyes, turning the front of your body down and grabbing your pillow for comfort, you knew he was a about to ruin you, and that there was no way of scaping him.
He came back to you and smacked your ass, your ass was red and irritated from his first punishment, and it hurt you like hell, making you scream loudly over your pillow, which muffled it as much as it could.
Still, he laughed again, and grabbing your hips he made you go back to your past position, on all fours with your face down, embarrassed from being like that in front of him.
You heard the buzz get closer to you and when it finally touched your clit you cried, you were sensitive after all the teasing and just a brush of it was enough to make your whole body jolt.
He was mocking you at first, pressing and pulling away in seconds, again and again, making you whimper from desperation.
"Don't forget, you can't cum until I allow you" his hand hit you again and you sobbed.
"Yes" you answered loud.
His hand touched your spine, making your back arch even more, pussy trying to find your touch.
He didn't wait anymore, he pressed the head of the toy against your whole cunt, making you moan loudly and hug tighter your pillow, your hips moving back and forth.
"Fuck that feels good" his dick was also against the vibrator, pushing the toy even more to you with his hips bucking, as if he was fucking you when he was feeling the same vibrations as you, a bit less intense, but still good against him.
It drove you crazy, it was insane how good you were feeling, and he wasn't even fucking your insides, you had no idea masturbation could be that intense, and with him, your face was flushed, your forehead sweaty, your hair was a mess, and you were leaking so much of your juices it was almost like you were cumming.
"Shit" your hips were frantically moving against him, ass jiggling and the perfect image of you fucking yourself, you crying of pleasure without stop, making his hand tighten his grasp on your waist, feeling the extra skin of your tummy with his fingers.
"Are you about to cum?" He asked, you were buckling your hips too much against him, which was a sign of it.
"Yes! Yes!" You said, the orgasm was so close you saw little spots when you closed your eyes and you wanted him to let you cum, you needed to cum.
He had other plans for you, so he pulled away, not letting the toy touch you anymore.
"Why?" You howled, shamelessly shaking your ass for him to press it again, receiving another spank as a result.
"You don't ask, you obey, so shut up" he stated. You bite your lip, tears falling and clit throbbing, it was so close, so close and so unobtainable at the same time, it made you feel hopeless.
"Take your top off and look at me" you obeyed him without doubt, you took your top and your bra off and sat on your knees, looking at him and still biting your lip to not talk when you shouldn't.
You were both sitting in front of each other, but he was completely dressed, just his dick out of his pants and his belt thrown away in some place in your room, while you, on the other hand, only wore your skirt, which had the front and back of it drenched from all your juices.
You showed him your tits, waiting for him to touch you and make you cum, it was sick, it revolved your stomach, but you needed that orgasm like you had no idea, now having tasted it so close, how could you let it slip away?
"Pretty slut" he said, both hands going to each tit and playing with them, fingers pinching your nipples to then grope them, making little tears fall your eyes, and when he slapped one of them, you felt even a worst sting on your breast than on your ass, making a heartbroken cry scape your mouth.
He loved that sound so much he wanted to hear it again, you breaking down it would be impossible for you to ever forget who was the cause of all those sounds.
He moved closer, now up on his knees and looking down at you. He was short, but in that moment, you saw him fucking immense, making you feel insignificant compared to him.
His hand went to your hair, you expected him to hurt you, flinching, but he pet you instead, ruffling your hair and nodding to you, "cum", he said.
You didn't understand why he said that, but then you heard the buzz of the toy again, getting close to your clit, making you smile and open your legs as much as you could to receive it.
It felt so fucking good, his hand on your hair was now a grip but you didn't care, you couldn't feel anything else that wasn't the toy against you.
However, it was weird, a pain was growing inside you, making you try to squirm away after some time, "No-", you tried to stop him, that weird sensation was still in your abdomen, increasing with each second, a hot pressure that made your pussy clench and throb strongly.
"I didn't ask you, I want you to cum, so you'll cum" he said, pushing the little button to the maximum, the power was so strong you chocked with your own saliva and you coughed before you could talk again.
"Wait! Wait!" You repeated, his grip on your hair was still there, strong, and your face was red of tears falling down your cheeks. Your pussy was being so abused your body had started to convulse and your hips jolted with every vibration of the toy.
Was that a real orgasm? You didn't know it would be so aggressive, you didn't know how it would feel, but it was almost like dying, a sensation that completely terrified you.
He didn't move a single inch away, he was biting his lip and his face showed a grin from ear to ear.
A pitched sound came out of your throat, you were cumming so hard streams of your orgasm were dripping down his hand and onto the bedsheets, but he didn't stop, and the overstimulation was starting to be more and more painful. You tried to move your hips away, but he didn't let you, his hand with the toy would follow your body, not letting you scape at all.
"Are you sorry now?" He asked after he finally pulled away the toy from you, letting you breathe and regain some of your consciousness.
You nodded to his question, you were sorry, you didn't mean to bother him so much, you should've thought twice before talking, you really didn't know your punishment would be like that.
His hand impacted on your cheek again, you couldn't move your head and he took advantage of that to give you a strong slap, shaking your mind and making your eyes blurry, and then, when you cried and loudly said you were sorry, he tapped softly the same cheek he had slapped seconds ago, "I told you, you're a big girl and you should use your words if you didn't want to make me mad"
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I was bad, forgive me, please" you begged, sobbing and deeply regretting having teased him.
"That's the apology I was waiting from you, well done" he let your hair finally free, sitting next to you and jerking his cock with your orgasm on his hand. You, about to crumble over the bed, legs hurting and mind too hazy to think properly, only watched him moving his hand over his length. "I think you learned your lesson today, but you need more training, don't you think so?"
You should be disgusted with him and how he acted, your whole body was in pain, and you saw dark dots all around you, your eyesight full of them and at the same time focused on his hand and what he was doing, and you were sure your pussy and your ass cheeks would be in pain for many days later because of how much he abused you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to reproach him.
You had learned may things that day, and you should appreciate that, how you shouldn't judge a book for its cover, how you shouldn't misbehave and talk back, and that you didn't like big guys because they made you feel small, you just liked to feel small.
He had done a question, so you, just like he taught you, answered it, "Yes, I still have much to learn".
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Happy 500! 🩵 I feel like "best friend's brother" and the Millers is something smutty just waiting to happen, maybe? 🫢
Best Friend's Brother.
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y. Best Friend's Brother
Author's Note - this is a drabble written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here. thank you for this request!! another one for my will girlies - love you all <3
Pairing - Will Miller x Female Reader
Age Rating - 18+
Warnings - smut!! + cursing
Word Count - 900
Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.
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You've known Benjamin Miller since you were a teenager.
He's been there through thick and thin, love and loss, good and bad.
He makes you laugh until you cry, happily watches awful movies with you, and loves to make you breakfast for dinner. He knows you like the back of his hand, and vice versa. He's the best friend you could ever ask for.
He also has the most beautiful brother in the world.
William Miller is the bane of your existence. Golden hair, big blue eyes, gleaming smile. He's aged like a fine wine, and damn have you noticed. You love Benny more than anything, and you'd never do anything to jeopardise that. But my god... it's tempting.
You're one too many tequilas down when you realise you're wobbling. You're holding onto the bar's bathroom sink for balance, attempting to keep yourself upright. You pull out your phone and call Benny, your designated taxi driver.
"Hello?"
"Benny. Baby. I am drunk! So drunk. The room is spinning, actually. Bathrooms don't spin, right?"
"Sweetheart, this is Will. Benny left his phone at my place. Where are you? You need me to come and get you?"
"Will! Hey Will. Wonderful Will. I am drunk. Very drunk."
"You may have mentioned that," he chuckles. "Where are you?"
"O'Lockes, I think. You know the place with the lights? The pretty lights?"
"Yeah, I know the one. Stay there, okay? I'm coming."
He gets to you within 20 minutes, which means he can't possibly have followed any of the speed limits. You're sat on the bench waiting outside when you see his truck pull up.
"Hey, you."
"Hi, William. Beautiful boy. God, you're the best."
"Thank you," he chuckles.
He gets out of the truck and jogs around to the passenger side to help you in.
"Chivalry isn't dead, huh?" you giggle. "Such a gentleman. How are you single? Why are you single? Do you want to be? You don't have to be. Every single girl in that bar would swoon for you, William."
"Alright, this feels like 20 questions. You need help with that seat belt?"
Will reaches over and buckles you in. His face is so close to yours, you can smell his toothpaste. The tiny part of your brain that's still rational begs you not to kiss him.
He jumps into the drivers side and starts up the engine. He turns up the heat so you're warm enough, and turns the music down so it isn't too loud. You curl into the heated seat and sigh contently, sobering up pretty quickly.
By the time he's pulling into your driveway, you can't feel the tequila anymore. You're warm, you're happy, and you're madly in love with the man sitting next you. What could go wrong?
"Hey Will?" you ask when he cuts the engine.
"Yeah, honey?"
"Why are you single? I'm not trying to be nosy. Just curious."
"Curious, huh?" he drawls, smiling gently at you.
"I mean - I've never heard you talk about a girlfriend, or even going on a date. Ever since I've known you, you've been practically always single."
"Yeah. Dating isn't really my thing, I guess. Too much effort."
"Too much effort? Will, I've never heard you say anything is too much effort."
He chuckles, and you laugh along with him.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just waiting for a certain someone."
Your heart skips a beat.
"Anyone in particular?" you ask, toeing the line.
"Maybe," he mutters. "Maybe."
He leans in over the centre console and presses a sweet kiss to your lips. You thread your hands into his hair and pull him closer, desperate to feel all of him. He grabs your hips and pulls you into his lap, rocking you back and forth.
You whine and the sound shoots straight to his core. He groans in response, tongue licking into your mouth. You shakily unbutton his jeans, pulling your skirt up around your waist.
"Should we go inside?" you pant breathlessly.
"Can't wait that long," he replies quickly. "Need to feel you now."
You pull him out of his underwear and lower yourself down, the both of you moaning in unison. The angle is a little awkward and you accidentally bump your head on the roof of his truck, but neither of you can find it in you to stop.
You set a steady rhythm, rising and falling with determination. Will helps you, grabbing at your hips and moving you as he pleases. You drop your forehead to rest against his, sweat mixing and breaths mingling.
"Oh, fuck," you whine.
"Yeah, baby. Keep going. You're doing so good. Don't stop, yeah?"
"Not stopping," you reply. "Never stopping."
Will moves his thumb to rub circles between your legs, causing you to breathlessly pant his name like a prayer.
"So close, Will. So close."
"Come on, honey. Give it to me. I can feel it. Yeah, that's it."
You fall over the edge with a moan, gripping at his hair. You tug a little harder than intended, but it does the trick, sending him into his own climax. He's groaning your name, and you're convinced the sound will be ingrained in your mind forever.
You're both panting, chests heaving. Then, you burst into a fit of giggles. It seems to be contagious, because Will joins you.
"What?" he asks through the laughter.
"How the fuck are we gonna tell Ben?"
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ssa-montgomery · 1 year
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Secrets I Have Held In My Heart (are harder to hide than I thought)
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Word Count: 7489
Summary: Daryl misreads Y/N's laughing and joking with Rick as flirting which leads to a fight between the pair where Daryl's hidden feelings for Y/N are revealed. Little does he know, she's felt the same way the whole time.
Characters: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader, Rick Grimes
Warnings: Swearing, verbal fighting, mutual pining, smut, just the filthiest smut, oral sex (fem receiving), thigh riding, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dom/sub, degradation kink, use of degrading terms (bitch, slut), punishments, spanking, dirty talk, hickeys, marking, possessive kink, kind of ownership kink too?, choking kink, biting, Daryl has a bit of an oral fixation, rough sex, crying, Daryl is generally very possessive and angry and it gets KINKY
A/N: Yet another Daryl request from here on Tumblr and oh boy am I going to hell for this one! Anon requested a fic with jealous Daryl where the reader and Rick have always been close and Daryl views it as flirting and ends up kissing the reader when he can't take it anymore leading to smut and I well, took it a slight step further. My mind really just ran wild with this prompt and this is probably the roughest, dirtiest smut I've written so I really hope this is still what you wanted from this request Anon! I hope you all enjoy angry possessive Daryl!
Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.
Taglist is open!
Masterlist
It took a long time for your group to find the comfort you had today, years on the road afraid of what would come next, fighting tooth and nail for every ounce of safety you found in Alexandria but it finally felt like the fight was worth it. On the quiet days that you let your mind forget what lay waiting for you beyond those walls, it almost felt like the old world again. It was a sense of normality you never thought you'd find again, walking up every morning under the same roof in your own home rather than the open skies of the woods or the concrete walls of the prison. Deanna had even found you a job taking shifts at the infirmary based on your first aid training.
For the first time in a long time, you were happy. Actually genuinely happy. When you weren't at work you spent your evenings helping the community, tending to the gardens and spending time with friends both new and old. You'd even taken up hosting the occasional dinner party alongside Aaron and Eric. You were content in your life, but still, there was something missing. You couldn't deny the bittersweet feeling of watching everyone around you settle down into relationships, some already happily married and some even starting families.
Relationships were the one element of your old life that you were admittedly finding it hard to settle back into. You had plenty of platonic relationships sure, some closer than others and you valued every single bond you'd created since you met this group back in Atlanta but after everything you'd lost, you were afraid if you let someone get that close again losing them would destroy you. No matter how safe you were in Alexandria this world was still cruel, and you'd learned that the hard way.
It was the exact reason why you hid what you really wanted from the one person you'd let yourself develop feelings for since this all began.
"This seat taken?" You were sitting out on your porch, your legs tucked up underneath you in your old rocking chair just watching the world go by when you heard his voice behind you. A bright smile broke out across your face as you looked up to see Rick standing with his hand on the back of the chair next to you.
"Not at all, please, sit down. You want a drink?" You asked gesturing towards the fresh jug of cold lemonade you'd made just before you came outside. Rick nodded politely at you as he took his seat and you leaned over to the little table beside you, grabbing the spare glass you kept by the jug. You always kept yourself prepared for visitors, a couple of the women from the community including Rosita and Carol had grown fond of stopping by and admittedly you enjoyed the company. 
You listened to the satisfying noise of the ice clinking against the side of the jug as you poured a drink for Rick, taking a moment to enjoy the quiet, strangely familiar feeling of it all. Summer was quickly approaching and it filled the air with that warmth that wasn't yet overbearing but certainly made you appreciate the feeling of a cool drink.
"Thank you Y/N." Rick smiled at you, happily accepting the glass you held out to him before taking a sip. When you first found this group Rick was one of the first people to truly see your potential and he'd quickly become one of your best friends while he helped you become the fighter you were today. The two of you almost immediately formed a close bond and you knew you could always count on him to look out for you and you'd risked your life time and again to protect his family.
"Judith didn't wanna visit her favourite person in the whole town today?" You asked feigning a dramatic, hurt sigh as you pressed your hand over your heart. Judith was growing up so fast, having now reached the age where she was starting to say anything that came to her mind. It led to a rather hilarious situation for you when she blurted out that you were her favourite person to visit in front of Rosita, Carol and Maggie while the group was having dinner at Rick's house. They had sulked over her choice and she quickly followed it up by saying Daryl was her second favourite which only seemed to add insult to injury for them.
"No, she's got another play date with Gracie today. The pair of 'em are inseparable now." Rick chuckled lightly as he spoke, a peaceful look softening his features as he looked over at you. Judith was the light of his life, that much was clear from the way he talked about her. You could see the weight it has lifted off his shoulders now that he was able to give her the childhood she deserved.
"Oh that's good, it's good for them. Being able to play like kids again. She'll do well here Rick." You took a long sip from your drink while you watched Rick. There was something distracting him, something clearly on his mind as he stared out past the road in front of you, staring at nothing in particular. You gave him a curious look, balancing your drink on the arm of your chair before you spoke again. "What brings you out here anyway?"
"Headin' out on a run soon, just wanted some peace and quiet first before I gotta deal with that you know? Thought I'd stop by to say hi in the meantime." He shrugged, seemingly snapping back into the moment as he looked over at you and offered you a warm smile.
"Rick Grimes lookin' for some peace and quiet, I never thought I'd see the day. You were always lookin' for trouble when I first met you." You shot him a teasing grin as you spoke, your eyes sparkling with that look of mischief that always got you in trouble for your comments at town meetings.
"Hey, watch it you. You're one to talk 'bout lookin' for trouble." He scoffed reaching his arm out to lightly smack you for your dig at him. It truly did bring you comfort to see Rick and the kids growing into their new lives here,  it was what they deserved after everything they'd been through. "Can I ask you somethin'?"
Rick's attitude changed then, his expression becoming more serious compared to your previous teasing. It wasn't serious enough to worry you but you knew what came next was going to be a personal question, something Rick seemed unsure about bringing up.
"Sure Rick, course you can." You nodded giving him your full attention.
"You and Daryl, is there something-" 
Rick's question was cut short by a loud, sharp whistle from the road just below your porch, your trained instincts making your eyes immediately snap to the source of the noise. Daryl was leaning against a tree just to the side of your house, his hands shoved in his pockets as he watched the two of you. You offered him a warm smile, giving him a small wave when you spotted him but it was met with a cold, almost angry stare from him.
You could feel your happy expression fall from your face, a heavy feeling weighing on your chest at his reaction, unsure of what you'd done to seemingly upset him. It had taken a while, longer than with anyone else in the group but you'd developed a close friendship with Daryl, finally breaking down the walls he'd built so high around himself but sometimes he would shut you out again and you could never understand why. Maybe things would be simpler if you could understand even just a fraction of what went on inside his head.
"We gotta go Rick."  That was the only form of acknowledgement or conversation the two of you got from him, even his tone towards Rick seemed different. There was none of that usual brotherly respect the two men held for each other present in his voice, instead, he sounded even more annoyed than usual. 
"I'll see you 'round Y/N." Rick nodded at you, his hand resting on your shoulder as he bid his goodbyes, turning to jog down your front steps to catch up with Daryl. By the time he turned away from you, Daryl was already gone turning his back on the two of you without another word as he disappeared up the street.
"What is goin' on with him?" You muttered under your breath, letting out a frustrated sigh as you tapped your nails against your glass. You were growing increasingly concerned that he was angry with you over something you were unaware you'd done and you wished you could talk to him about it, find out what was on his mind but you knew you wouldn't get that chance until they returned from their run now.
What you didn't know was how long Daryl had been standing there, just out of sight, watching the way you and Rick laughed and joked together, catching every innocent touch. Or the way that scene looked to jealous eyes and a cruel imagination that couldn't hear the true conversation.
~~~
It was late when the knock finally came on your door, so late in fact that you'd started to pace, growing worried that you'd just have to give up and accept that he wasn't going to show. You knew who it was the second the three loud knocks echoed through the house, the sound sending your heart racing. You rushed through the kitchen and took one final breath before quickly pulling the front open to be greeted with the sight of Daryl standing on the other side. You opened your mouth to speak but the words died in your throat. You lost your nerve at the way Daryl stared you down, his eyes burning through you with that same angry look as earlier.
"Carol said ya wanted me. Whadda want?" He snapped at you, clearly unimpressed at your lack of conversation. His attitude was completely different towards you today, he was never this short or aggressive with you and on the rare occasion that he was it didn't last long, the anger not having been directed towards you in the first place. Today though, his anger seemed to very much be directed towards you. You hoped he'd have cooled down after your encounter that morning but he seemed just as irritated as he had then.
"I um- can you come in?" You stepped back from the entrance deciding that maybe your doorway wasn't the best place for this conversation as you held the door open for him and gestured for him to come inside. He stared you down for a moment as if he was considering abandoning this whole conversation, walking away before this got too far before he finally stepped inside. You crossed your arms in front of you, your fingers playing nervously with the fabric of your shirt as you started to speak again. "I was hopin' we could talk-"
"'Bout what?" Daryl's voice cut over you, not even letting you finish your sentence as he did everything he could to avoid looking you in the eyes. You could feel your annoyance growing at the sight of him scuffing his dirty boots against your wooden floors.
"What is goin' on with you Daryl?" You asked with more force than you'd originally intended. The original worry and hurt you'd felt were now melting away into frustration at whatever kind of childish tantrum he was having. No matter how much you trusted and respected Daryl you had your limits and you certainly weren't going to let him treat you the way he was without even giving you an explanation.
"Nuthin'."
"Oh, bullshit." You spat back. If there was one thing everyone respected about you it was your ability to put Daryl in his place, even if you did sink to his level in the process. If you wanted answers you were going to get them. "I mean seriously Daryl you've been all pissy with me all day. Did I do something to you? What is wrong?" 
"Rick." You waited for more of an explanation, expecting that maybe the two were arguing but nothing came. You were becoming increasingly fed up with this conversation. Daryl was a man of few words and that was well known in Alexandria but now was hardly the time for him to decide he didn't want to talk. How could you be expected to find a way to fix this when he wouldn't even talk to you about it?
"What about him? Is there somethin' goin' on with the two of you? Will you just fuckin' talk to me, Daryl?" 
"Nah. Ain't nuthin' goin' on with me and Rick but there is between the two of you, ain't there?" Daryl had been trying to bite his tongue on the subject. He knew he shouldn't bring it up but there was a fire burning in his eyes when they finally met yours and there was no putting it out now as it lit the explosive anger inside him. His voice rose in volume until he was almost shouting as he started to rant. "Saw the way you was with him this mornin'. All smilin' and laughin'. Flirtin' with those lil touches. Ya think the rest of us are fuckin' blind or sumthin'?" 
His words were dripping with venom, finally releasing all of his anger that had been building over this situation for weeks as he drew closer to you. His face was inches away from yours and you could smell the smoke from the cigarette he'd lit up on the way to your house still on his breath. He was trying to intimidate you but you weren't going to let it happen as you held your chin up and stood your ground.
"You're jealous? You're actually fuckin' jealous?" You all but laughed in his face. It was entertaining to you, it truly was. What Daryl didn't realise was that even if anyone else in Alexandria was attracted to you in that way, he had absolutely nothing to worry about. There was something about your relationship with him that even Daryl hadn't caught onto yet.
You had denied it for a long time but the truth was you were attracted to the redneck from that first second you'd met him back in Atlanta. There was something about that fiery temper and defiance that drew you in and you couldn't fight it anymore not when it was on full display for you like this. Not when it was over how possessive Daryl had grown over you. You spent countless nights fantasising about what it would be like if you could get Daryl alone like this. If you could get him to unleash that anger on you.
"For fuck sake Daryl, Rick's like a brother to me. I was never flirtin' with him! All that smilin' and jokin' was about Judith and Gracie. Those touches? They're nothin' more than friendly. You wouldn't be havin' such a bitch fit over it if were Carol doin' it would you?" You squared up to him, not caring that you posed absolutely no threat to him as you leaned up towards his face trying to match his aggression. 
"You think I'm stupid, girl?" He growled, his words vibrating low in his throat as he walked you backwards until you were trapped against the wall with nowhere else to run. The feeling should have scared you but as wrong as it was you could already feel the heat growing between your legs. "Don't lie to me. I heard Maggie sayin' you were spillin' all your fantasies to her, she was talkin' 'bout ya wantin' someone 'round here. It's clearly him."
"I really do think you're stupid if you haven't figured out who it really is yet." You bit back with a mocking smirk on your face. You were getting overconfident in just how much you could match Daryl's attitude without facing the consequences. "You wanna know what I really told Maggie? I told her how much I'd been thinkin' 'bout your hands on my body. How rough I thought you'd be with me. I told her how much I wished you'd just get the nerve to just fuck me already. But I mean if your just goin' to sulk instead maybe I should -"
Once you started you couldn't stop yourself from letting exactly how you felt about Daryl and everything you'd been dreaming of spill out before you could overthink it. It didn't matter anyway, he didn't give you a chance to regret it. Before you could even finish your sentence Daryl's hand was around your throat, squeezing the sides just enough to cut off the blood flow as he pressed you back into the wall behind you.
"You want me to show ya who ya belong to? Want me to fuck ya like I mean it huh? Prove I'm the only one who can fuck this pussy good?" Daryl's lips were ghosting over yours now, his breath hot against your skin as he held back from kissing you, teasing you. You were pressed so close together you could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he panted out his anger. He was towering over you, completely caging you in and part of you wanted to melt. To entirely give into everything he wanted to do to you and let him take you over but you were too worked up for that now. Too frustrated and proud to play the role of the good girl.
"I'd like to see you try Dixon." You scoffed with a smug look in your eyes. You let your eyes drag over his body like you were inspecting goods out on a run, trying to keep your expression as unimpressed as you could. It was a challenge, one you knew Daryl would take. He had to. You knew what he was like when he got like this, knew how determined he was to prove a point. He was never going to back down from this, especially not when you challenged his ability. You wanted him to fuck you hard, to punish you for testing him and that was exactly what you were going to get.
"Don't be a fuckin' brat." His voice was low as he spoke, a warning of what was to come if you continued the way you were. He used his grip on your throat to pull you flush against his chest before slamming you back against the wall. 
Your head tipped back against the wall as your hands found his wrist, trying to hold his hand in place as he threatened to move away. He hadn't been rough enough to hurt you, just enough to be forceful but part of you wanted him to tighten his grip, to leave a bruise against your skin in the shape of his hand. You gasped out at the feeling of him squeezing his hand again and he took the chance to finally kiss you. It was a rough and messy kiss, his tongue dragging over yours as his lips moved against you. "I'm gonna make sure everyone knows who ya fuckin' belong to. Show 'em who managed to make this brat submit." 
His lips left your mouth, leaving sloppy kisses across your jaw until they found the junction where your jaw met your throat, sucking on the soft, sensitive skin before sinking his teeth in to make sure it left a mark. You cried out, your skin already burning under the feeling as your hands grasped the back of his neck, holding his mouth against your skin. 
He smirked against your skin in between kisses, knowing you were enjoying it from the way you held him in place. He didn't let up, deciding that just one mark wasn't enough as he moved his mouth all across your neck, sucking and nipping until he was satisfied that you were covered. He pulled back to admire his work, looking at the purple marks that were already starting to blossom against your skin, the slight indents of his teeth, everything that marked you as his.
"Ya like that huh?" He hummed against the shell of your ear, his fingers trailing over the marks on your neck. The feeling of his light touch making shiver. "Like walkin' 'round with a reminder of the only one who can touch ya like this? Wearin' a reminder everyone can see?"
"Prove it." You panted out, that mischief still in your eyes as you watched for his reaction. You weren't going to give in to him so easily, even if you were already growing desperate from the simplest of touches. You'd been dreaming about this for too long to not get exactly what you wanted. "Prove that you're good enough to be the only one touchin' me. All I've seen so far is you talkin' a big game. Got the skills to back it up, pretty boy?" 
Whatever small bit of restraint that Daryl had still been holding onto snapped at that moment. His hands were on you in a second, pulling at your clothes to finally feel your skin. He quickly grew tired of trying to wrestle with the small buttons of your shirt, instead grabbing at the top of the flannel and pulling. 
You could hear the sound of the fabric ripping under his strength as the buttons popped and fell to the floor, revealing your heaving chest to him. You pushed the ruined fabric from your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor as Daryl made quick work of your bra, pulling it down your arms with one hand. His free hand was already groping at your chest before the bra even hit the ground as his thigh moved between your legs, pressing up into you to give you the friction you'd been craving.
You moaned out at the feeling of Daryl's mouth dropping to your chest, sucking another hickey into the curve of your breast where you already knew it would be visible above any of your low-cut tops. He moved his mouth downward, kissing over your skin until he took your nipple into his mouth. His tongue lapped over it, the feeling making you buck against his thigh. The drag against your clit was just right as Daryl kept up his pace, moving between your breasts listening to the gasps that fell from your mouth. 
"Nah." He groaned grabbing at your hips as he decided your movements were getting too desperate, pinning you back against the wall to stop you from grinding against him. You could on his face how much self restrain it was taking for him to stop you, to take his time with this. "Nah if yer gonna cum it's gonna be while I fuck ya so hard ya can't walk for a week. Want to feel you cummin' on my dick. You ain't gonna cum like this. Don't get to cum 'til I say so."
"I wasn't gonna cum I promise." You whined out trying to buck your hips against his hands but his grip was too strong. You weren't going to get anything he wasn't willing to give you. He proved that point, pushing his thigh even further into you, giving you more pressure but none of the friction you were so desperate for. You wanted to break Daryl's rules, wanted to see just how far you could push him and above everything else you wanted to come, your body already so close to that edge. "Just wanna feel you, Daryl."
"You get yerself off before I say ya can and I swear yer gonna regret it." He warned, his voice holding that dangerous tone as his mouth returned to its place on your chest. He was playing his own game with you, testing you to see how far you were willing to let him go as his hands released their grip on your hips. 
He knew you weren't going to listen if he gave you the opportunity to keep grinding against his thigh, you had a reputation for ignoring every instruction you were given. The thing was, you breaking his rules was all the permission he needed to play this rough.  
You ground yourself against his thigh the second he let you go, moaning as the new pressure made the seam of your jeans rub against your clit even through your panties. Daryl's mouth trailed across your chest, biting and sucking at your skin while his hands groped at your ass, pulling you against him. He was toying with you, waiting to see how long it would take for you to beg him to stop, not able to take anymore before you came.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers threading into his hair as you used the leverage to ride his thigh. You should have stopped, should have listened to his warning and told him how close you were but you couldn't help yourself. The heavy drag of denim against denim was driving you crazy, rubbing you just the right way as the friction built you closer and closer to orgasm. Before you could think to stop yourself your movements grew faster and more desperate, the feeling of Daryl's teeth grazing your nipple throwing you over the edge.
"Daryl - oh fuck -" You threw your head, the dull pain from your head colliding with the wall only heightened the feeling as your arms tightened around his neck, one hand scratching across his clothed shoulders. You barely had time to come down before you felt Daryl's hand around your throat again, pulling you back to the reality of what you'd just done. Your head was already swimming from the force of your orgasm and his hand squeezing your throat had your eyes fluttering shut. 
"You stupid fuckin' bitch." Daryl growled forcing your face up to meet the fiery look in his eyes. That anger you loved was still as strong as ever as you struggled against his grip, your breathing coming more laboured than before as his hand restricted it. "I warned ya but clearly you can't fuckin' listen. Gonna show ya what happens to brats that can't learn to behave. You wanna cum so badly? Gonna make ya cum until ya beg me to stop and then some more. Not gonna stop until I ruined ya." 
"Oh god, Daryl, please." You gasped out, your hips bucking in search of his again already. Your mind was racing with the idea of what Daryl was about to do to you and you knew none of it could live up to the reality of what was about to happen. Even after the orgasm you'd just had you could feel the need building again in the pit of your stomach, the way your heart raced under his hardened stare. "I need it please."
"Look at ya, just came on my thigh and yer already beggin' for me like some dumb slut. You want that don't ya? Want me to use ya until yer all fucked out, can't even remember yer own name?" Daryl's degrading words shouldn't have turned you as much as they did but you were already putty in his hands. He was right. You wanted to be used by him in whatever way he saw fit. He could do whatever he wanted to you at this point and you'd thank him even if it left you bruised for a week.
"Ya really liked my mouth on these tits that much huh?" He asked, punctuating his question by roughly groping at your chest again, his thumbs swiping over your nipples. "I know somewhere else I could put it to good use to make ya cum. Gonna eat yer pussy 'til yer drippin' down my face. Where's yer bedroom?"
"It's - it's -" Your words trailed off into a broken moan as Daryl dropped his hand to cup you through your jeans, his fingers running over your clit even through the material. He thrust his fingers against you, watching the reaction on your face as he mimicked the movements of fingering you over your jeans. The feeling had you moving your hips against him, praying he would just slip his hand inside the waistband of your jeans. Any thought of the question he'd asked you was long gone as your brain completely gave in to him.
"Never fuckin' mind then. Here's good enough. Are ya really that drunk on the thought of me fuckin' ya already?" Daryl dropped to his knees in front of you and roughly pulled at your jeans, undoing the button before he pulled them down your legs in one swift movement. 
You could see his eyes darken as they focused on the wet spot on the front of your panties that you were sure had probably soaked onto your jeans too. He wasted no time, peeling the soaked material away from your body and throwing it to the side to join your jeans. He ran his fingers up the inside of your legs, starting at your knee and stopping at the apex of your thigh, feeling how slick your skin was there. "Already drippin' down yer thighs for me. You want me to fuck ya that badly?"
"Yes, yes Daryl need you to make me cum again please." You gasped out feeling the way he ran his hands up the inside of your thighs again, stopping just before he got to where you really needed to feel him. His lips followed the path his hands had just taken, moving painfully slow as he teased you. He stopped to suck at the inside of your thigh, marking every part of your body that he touched as his. He stuck his tongue out and leaned towards your clit before diverting to your hip bone at the last second, driving you out of your mind with frustration as you tried to press your thighs together for any form of friction. "Daryl fuck sake, please just -"
You yelped at the feeling of Daryl's teeth sinking into the side of your thigh as he pulled your hips closer to his face, his tongue soothing over the sting his bite left behind.
"Watch yer tone Darlin'. You got yourself into this mess, yer gonna take yer punishment like the good lil' slut you are." His fingers traced over the red mark that was raising on your thigh as he spoke, distracting you with the feeling of his feather-light touches before he dived in, lapping his tongue across your folds. 
You jerked forward at the sudden feeling shooting through your body, your hand grasping at his hair. He was messy, making sure every inch of you got attention as he kissed and sucked everywhere he could reach. He grabbed at the backs of your thighs, hooking one leg over his shoulder to spread you out even more to his tongue, his lips finally closing around your clit. "Sweetest thing I've ever tasted. Goddamn woman you taste like fuckin' candy. Wanna taste you cummin' on my tongue."
Daryl didn't give you a chance to process his words before his mouth was on you again, lapping up everything he could. Your fingers in his hair tightened, pulling at the strands as he traced his tongue around your clit in tight circles before sucking on it harshly. You were quickly learning that his sharp tongue was good at more than just biting insults, your thighs squeezing around his head. He didn't seem to care about your tightening grip as he dipped his tongue down to tease around your entrance, listening to the way you whimpered and whined before he pushed it inside of you.
Your hips pressed forward against his face at the feeling of his tongue inside you, his name a broken cry on your lips. He grabbed your hips, tilting them forward so his nose bumped against your clit with each movement. Daryl put everything he had into eating you out, a concentrated look taking over his features as he pressed his whole face into you while his arms wrapped around your thighs to hold you in place, letting him take whatever he wanted from you. He flattened his tongue inside you, grazing against your g-spot and the feeling combined with the pressure on your clit had you coming again.
You cried out as you spasmed around his tongue, your knees almost giving out as you doubled over his head, your hands sliding down from his hair to grasp at his back. His name was a broken moan on your lips as he worked you through your orgasm, his tongue never stopping its movements. You expected him to ease off once your body started to slow down again but instead, he pulled his tongue out, licking you clean before moving his tongue to clit again as he slid two fingers inside of you.
"Daryl what - ah - what are doin'?" You pulled at his hair trying to pull his attention away from your already sensitive clit, the feeling almost too much for you already.
"I never said I was done with ya. You felt too good cummin' 'round my tongue to just leave it at one." Was the only response you got as he dove back in, his lips finding your clit again. His fingers hooked in just the right place on every thrust while he found a steady rhyme with his tongue. Your breathing was broken, every second breath a whimper or moan. Your orgasm was building quicker than you'd ever felt before and you knew you were already close.
Daryl's hand came up to grab at your waist, using his grip and your leg slung over his shoulder as leverage to hold you up against the wall as your legs started to shake. His hand slid across to press against your stomach as the cries of his name started to come quicker, louder with each thrust. He pushed a third finger into you and you screamed out his name at the unexpected feeling. The slight burn as he stretched you out only added to the pleasure he was bringing you.
One more particularly rough thrust of his fingers against your g-spot had you coming around him again. You clenched around his fingers as your legs finally gave out, your eyes snapping shut at the intense orgasm that ripped through your body. Daryl slowly pulled his fingers out of you and stood up again, his grip on you the only thing keeping you standing as every muscle in your body tensed. He pulled you in a kiss, slow and messy as he moved his tongue against yours in the same way he had as he ate you out, letting you taste yourself off his lips.
"Three down, how many more can ya handle? Bet this sweet pussy's gettin' sensitive." He proved his point as he dropped his hand down to tease at your clit, feeling the way your whole body shuddered against him. His hands were back on your waist in an instant, pulling you away from the wall as he lead you over to the kitchen counter. He spun you in his arms letting his hands roam across your body as your head tipped back against his shoulder. Your skin was already sticky with sweat, your breath feeling impossible to catch.
Your hips met the hard surface of the counter and you could feel the bulge in Daryl's pants pressing against your ass as he stepped in behind you, holding you tight against his body. He leaned back slowly running his hand up your spine until he reached your neck, messily wrapping your hair around his hand. You gasped out when he shoved you forward by the makeshift ponytail, bending you over the counter. He tightened his grip on your hair and pulled, hard, forcing your head to snap back so he could catch your mouth in another bruising kiss.
"Better brace yerself for this. Gonna fuck you all hard and rough, just like ya wanted." He warned as his hands left your body, the sound of the scrape of the metal zipper on his pants filling the room. He quickly undid the button and pulled his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock, not even bothering to fully undress. You reached your hands out in front of you trying to find any purchase on the counter that you could as you pressed your cheek against the cool granite surface.
You were waiting for Daryl's next move, your heart racing with anticipation as you couldn't see Daryl moving behind you in this position. You couldn't even prepare yourself for how big he would be as you realised you still hadn't seen him undress and yet here you were, fully undressed, writhing against the counter for him. You cried out, your hips pressing even further into the counter as you tried to arch away from the pain of Daryl's strong hand landing roughly on your ass. A second later the harsh sting landed on the other side of your ass. A whimper fell from your lips at the pain but you'd be lying if you said the feeling of your skin burning under his hits wasn't turning you on beyond belief.
"Yer ass looks even better all marked up with my handprint," Daryl growled in your ear as he leaned over you, his chest pressed against your back while his hand grabbed at your ass. You could feel his cock dragging against you in this position and the feeling of it had you pushing up on your toes, trying to get Daryl to hurry up and fuck you already. "Might have to take ya over my knee if ya don't learn to behave yerself." 
Daryl was already worked up in a way that clouded his mind to anything but his goal of fucking you. He was painfully hard from seeing you getting off on him so many times already and it didn't take much convincing for him to shove his cock inside you. He pushed himself all the way in with one hard thrust, his hand pressing down on the small of your back as he held you in place. 
You moaned out at the feeling of him filling you up in a way you'd never felt before when you were already so sensitive and he didn't give you a chance to adjust to his thick length. He pulled out until only the tip was still inside you and then slammed back in, setting a cruel pace as he fucked you hard.
Your nails scratched against the surface of the counter trying to find any way to ground yourself in the moment as your brain started to melt, his hips snapping against you so hard you were sure it would leave bruises in the morning. You cried out with each thrust, your moans mixing with his own grunts as the drag of cock against your walls was already becoming too much for you. Daryl's hand found its way around your throat again as he pulled you up until you were flush against his chest.
"Promise ya you wouldn't be able to walk for a week, everyone's gonna see you limpin' 'round after this. Who do ya belong to Darlin'?" He hummed against your ear, his voice was rough and broken as he spoke. He littered kisses all across your jaw, his hands roaming across your chest to grab at your breasts.
"Y-you." You stuttered out barely able to form a coherent thought anymore with the force of his thrusts against you while you drew closer to your fourth orgasm of the night. It was like each thrust pulled any of the bratty fight you'd had earlier in the night from your body.
"Who's pussy is this?" His voice was growing deeper, more possessive as he dropped a hand to tease your clit while his hips never let up their rough pace. You could tell he was losing himself in this feeling just as much as you were.
"Yours- yours Daryl - oh fuck - ah I can't - I'm gonna -" You couldn't take it anymore, Daryl making you admit out loud that you were all his sending you straight into another orgasm. You came hard, a white light exploding behind your eyes as they snapped shut, his fingers still drawing circles around your clit. You whined out, collapsing back against his chest as you tried to grab at his wrist, the feeling of his fingers against you too much for you to handle along with his cock inside you.
"That's right. Mine. Yer all mine." He growled out at the feeling of you clenching around his cock. You could tell he wasn't far behind you, getting closer to his own release as his words started to slur, his head falling to the back of your shoulder where your hair was plastered to your sweat-soaked skin. "Pretty lil' pussy just for me. Nobody else could ever fuck ya as good as this. You know ya can only get it as good as this from me. Nobody else is gonna treat ya as rough as ya need."
Daryl's arm tightened around your waist, clinging to your body as he continued to thrust into you, drowning out your moans and whimpers with sloppy, open-mouthed kisses that were mostly teeth and tongue as he fought to keep up his rhyme. No matter how much your body tried to fight it you could feel another orgasm building inside of you as each thrust hit against your g-spot.
You couldn't kiss Daryl back anymore, your mouth hanging open in a loud gasp as a heavy feeling settled in your chest, weighing down on your lungs as tears pricked at the corner of your eyes. The tension in the pit of your stomach was starting to snap again, you could feel the strain with each thrust.
"I can't - I can't not again Daryl please - it's too much - oh fuck please -" You screamed as he held you close to him, helping you ride it out as another orgasm ripped through you. Your body couldn't take anymore, going numb in his arms as the tears you'd been fighting back spilt freely down your cheeks.
"Mine." Daryl made his point by biting at your shoulder as he thrust into you one last time, the sight of you coming again and so forcefully tipping him over the edge with you. He held himself deep inside you as he came, his own breathing becoming broken against your shoulder as he held you both against the counter. He didn't trust his own legs to support your weight as well as his own as his hand ran comfortingly across your stomach. "S'okay. So good, ya did so good. Did so well for me. Fuck Darlin' yer perfect."
Once he had recovered a little more he slowly pulled out of you, cautious of just how sensitive you were now and turned you around in his arms as he reached a hand up to brush away your tears with his thumb. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss, the softest he'd been with you all day, every ounce of his previous anger now melted away. He pulled you into a tight, comforting hug as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. He left a trail of light kisses across the marks he'd left on your neck earlier in the night and then cupped your face, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead.
"Didn't mean to make ya cry. Did I really hurt ya?" He said softly, the concern written all over his face as he brushed your hair away from your face where it was stuck down with sweat. "Think I lost control a little." 
"It's okay." You reassured him with a small nod. Your body was slowly coming down at last as you clung to his chest, simply enjoying the feeling of him holding you. You pushed up on your toes to kiss him letting yourself smile into the contact as he cupped the side of your face. "I'm okay I promise. You only hurt me a little and I mean, I all but begged for that. In fact, I'm more than just okay Daryl. That was incredible, I've never felt anything like that. I need to make you jealous more often. Maybe I should flirt with Spencer next."
"I wouldn't recommend that." Daryl chuckled then, the sound was sweet but you could see that fierce look back in his eyes. "I like Rick, Spencer? I might actually break his jaw for touchin' ya."
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