#I essentially recreated it in my mind

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

So I had a wild adventure of a dream I’m still reeling waking up from it, I can’t quite explain it properly so maybe as I’ll write it’ll get clear

My love was a werewolf of some kind, not a typical monster sort of thing no, he had been experimented on and turned into a weapon. I have these very specific scenes in my mind, seeing him turn without control and be let loose on people, the result of a dystopian power. But he would calm for me, until he didn’t and they took it as an excuse to execute him

Only it wasn’t a full execution, this world does this, like Missy’s underworld he’s still there he exists he’s just not… with me. I need to get to him. It’s an ancient subterranean temple but I will do anything to bring him back, I will do anything to have him by my side again. I’m travelling to that place of digital ghosts and it’s like entering the cloisters but with a jungle and traps inside, and I do get him back, I hold onto him with everything I’ve got. The way I got him out though is unclear, and I know I didn’t bring him back properly, something’s still wrong. We’re in the street and the world starts collapsing and ending, the problem seems to be a paradox in the underworld vault (not sure if those are the words for it but they came to mind)

I’m holding onto him, worried about him losing control, pressing my face to his and he’s with me even in werewolf form. I think we’re communicating by telepathy, because I can hear his warm, gentle voice in my head ^_^ he’s saying we need to fix this, I ask him to try to help as many people as possible

But they’re fading, switching with new people? It’s like when time gets rewritten and people just fade from existence, and terrifyingly I watch some of my family, the ones I care about, fade, as a dark purple electric storm crashes and screams above us. He loses control for a second and then I have to do everything I can to try to ground him, running after him and holding onto him, reminding him no this is not your purpose…

The next bit is unclear. Something is chasing us. We need to get to the vault and now my mind returns as we get there, a rainforest blooming inside, my love and a team of the few people left, the few people I know. My love remains in a werewolf form to guard us, but I’m worried about it becoming permanent, the agony and energy sapped from him, so I ask him to rest. Seeing him in his actual form again I gaze into his eyes and we talk, and for a few moments everything else fades away

“There’s no guarantee you’ll be able to keep me with you.”

“I am. For better or worse.”

“The vault may not let you, and I won’t let it take you, at cost to myself”

I kneel down and hug him tightly, pressing my face to his shirt. “You’re more precious to me than anything, this isn’t up for debate.”

I look up and see his eyes soften. I think he needed to hear that.

We have to keep moving, and he’s volatile, he can’t always keep control and neither can I keep control over him, but we agree if it’s overwhelming then take it and use it to find whoever’s chasing us

Meanwhile we’re trekking through to each level of the vault. There’s levels? There’s levels. Like an ancient temple, there’s always a catch, a gimmick, but my friends and I are smart and with each move bring someone back. The few I can remember… we’re faced with a room with an open chasm in the middle, and walls with ledges on either side. You can’t fall into the green liquid in the middle, it will burn, you have maybe 10 seconds before it does. The wall behind us, which we entered through, starts pushing through and we have no choice but to jump and climb onto the ledges, they light up with different colours and it turns out you must push the correct ledge down, like a giant keyboard key. Which one is the odd one out?

I seem to have this special tool with me, a rope that always finds its grip, sort of like a lasso of truth, so I fling it over something and swing to one end, I’m staring round and- mum?! A ghost of my mum, a hologram pops up saying I need to chose fast, please choose fast, and I’m even more hurried than before, I spot the odd one out and order everyone to step down on the correct ones

The wall and the far end by me opens up just enough for everyone to climb through, but we all immediately fall and have to grab any handhold we can, I miss it but I’m caught by my love, who throws me quickly to another perch, this room is worse than the last with climbing walls on either side with the acid swamp in the middle. The vault’s decaying and the puzzle isn’t even in action in this one, and… something else. Those holograms are definitely a trick, a self defense mechanism from the vault, because another pops up, and almost pushes me to my doom

I fall briefly into the acid but throw my rope and manage to swing to safety

I can’t remember what else, except that we make it through several layers and my love and I work seamlessly together to figure out how to get round the hunters, as well as the holograms, I can’t remember how but we figure things out and I think Clara and 12 are there with us and help us too. I remember seeing Clara in my dream and talking to her. The electric time storm is still raging behind us and slowly devouring each room as we get deeper and deeper, now rooms look like memories but with hidden hunters in it.

I lose him again, I don’t know how but he’s lost. My heart screams and I’m terrified, what does it mean, can’t I bring him back again? I remember we were in a room, something caught him, I think… the image is fading now but I know that I’m heartbroken and scared I can’t see him again, yet we’ve brought back some others with each level solved.

I’m standing in my Dadi’ammi’s hallway when I’m beckoned over by a hologram, Robin from HIMYM? They’re a bit random sometimes- ah wait, Maria Hill. She says there’s a way to get out but it requires an exchange, exchange her with someone, and she’s eager, turning dark and scary as I realise this isn’t even a trick. It’s her consciousness so desperate to come back she would steal someone else’s.

Did she steal his?

I pull out a knife to threaten her and her image fades and there’s my love, but trapped. Trapped somewhere deeper in the vault and trapped in his werewolf form. I can’t do anything and my voice catches, before the image shifts again.

I kill her, slashing my knife through the hologram. He’s back, he needs to be back, and he is but he isn’t, his image is with me as a hologram but he’s trapped again. I can feel the tears choke me and I cry out “see this is why I worry, you let me worry otherwise this happens!”

“Oh it’s my sickness all over again, it’s okay I’ll make it back Insha’Allah”

I don’t know exactly when this conversation happened it could have been this moment or earlier in the dream… gah it’s so abstract, but I remember this distinctly, my grief.

The moment I wondered, is this a Greek myth? This… feels familiar… Orpheus-

There’s more people to save and I talk to a friend, my a co worker of my sister’s who tries to encourage me, “there’s two left on the map”, two names, names from my text book? Arab names, some scientists who know how to fix what’s collapsing.

I’m scared now. I’ll do anything to bring him back I know I can, and his hologram stays by my side I haven’t lost him completely yet. We’re moving deeper through into another battlefield and I know I can get him back

Time skips are normal in dreams only these ones feel like they’re part of the way it’s collapsing because… I can’t remember now. Another skip but I’m in the midst of battle with him, I’m holding onto him and refusing to let go because I will not leave this vault without him, and I don’t know what happens next because then

I wake up.

#star speaks #star dreams #something something you can tell how massive of an effect Whouffaldi have on my psyche #I essentially recreated it in my mind #to even see a clip after all this time has such a profound effect on me #also this dream did a number on me I was shaking and on the verge of crying when I woke up

[racefortheironthrone]

TLT World Building: The Nine Houses and the Logistics of Space Empires

Building off my earlier post about stele-and-obelisk travel and the River, I wanted to talk about something that's been rattling around my mind for a while, which is subluminary travel and the logistics of the Nine Houses. One of the things that has been brought up as a criticism of Muir's world-building as far back as Gideon the Ninth is that the Empire seems to have very, very fast non-FTL travel, such that Gideon and Harrow travel the 3.3 billion miles from Pluto to Earth in an hour, without using a stele. How, it was asked, does an Empire whose military relies on swords and whose medical knowledge is incredibly uneven at best, accomplish a technological feat of that magnitude?

I think we got an answer for that in Nona the Ninth:

“That ship’s not big enough for a stele. Don’t know if it’s big enough for subluminary travel, even. How did it get here?” Crown leant back in her chair, staring at the projector screen, head balanced in the crook of one golden arm. Nona noticed that her biceps showed even through her shirt, and that there were rubber bandages wrapped around one palm. She said, “Oh, that’s big enough for subluminary travel, Millie. See the double struts, and the massive exhaust? That’s a Ziz-class.” ...Crown continued, “The Ziz isn’t Cohort standard. And it’s not as big on the inside as you think. Look at the windows—see how there’re none on the back end? It’s mostly engine. Not plated either. It’ll get to sublume without many problems … but it definitely doesn’t have room for a stele. Camilla is right. It can’t travel by obelisk anchor.” Pyrrha said suddenly, “Crown. How’s the fuel consumption on a Ziz-class ship?” “Thirsty,” said Crown, brightening up at being asked. “Its cell would be totally drained after a day in subluminary. It only takes the powerful stuff too—thalergy-enriched, not just hydrogen blend. Hydrogen blend stuffs up the engine.”

The answer is necromancy. (Because of course it is.) The Empire infuses shuttle fuel with thalergy - and we know that the necromantic specialty of the Second House is to "drain thalergy from any living source and use it," so the Empire can treat thalergy as a fungible resource that they can extract, store, and then use somewhere else. Moreover, we know that the necromantic specialty of the Fourth House is "exciting thanergy into a state of fission" in order to produce explosions.

Since necromancy can easily convert thalergy into thanergy, I think that the Empire's higher-end shuttles are powered by necromantic pulse propulsion, such that shuttle fuel is burned to produce thrust, but then at the same time the thanergy is turned into a massive fission explosion behind the shuttle, producing even more thrust.

I think this also explains why the Second and Fourth are so disproportionately represented in the Cohort, because in addition to producing soldiers for the front lines, they're heavily involved with making the Cohort Fleets move. (I'm going to further speculate that the Fourth make up a lot of the Fleets' pilots, since that would fit their necromantic specialties, the nature of their planet, and their image as gung-ho "go fast" types.) This leads me to a few conclusions:

it explains why the Empire is so focused on short-term extraction; it's essentially stripping the thalergy for fuel to power subluminary transportation in the Dominicus system and beyond, in the same way that we're burning fossil fuels to power our economies today. There is a profound irony in that Mr. Environmentalist John Gaius has so precisely recreated the dynamics of the carbon economy through necromancy.

it explains how logistics in the Nine Houses work. If you can use necromantic fission drives to get from the outer edge of the Dominicus system to the core that quickly, than most of the logistical complexities of running a multiplanetary economy fall away. All you have to do is get your transport shuttle full of goods from the colonies to a stele at the edge of the Dominicus system, and then necromantic fission solves the "last mile problem" of getting your Necro-Amazon "just-in-time" deliveries to the hungry markets of the Third or the Fifth. You don't need to worry about the fact that you can't produce a lot of organic resources on thanergetic planets (especially ones that are space stations and the like rather than fully terraformed), because you just have everything delivered.

it similarly explains how logistics out in the colonies work. Even if you're at the edge of the stele network, necromantic fission shuttles can transport goods between planets in the same solar system with relative ease. It only becomes an issue when you're a ways out from the edge of the network, because that involves burning more thalergy-enriched fuel. Hence why Corona talks about "the Cohort movements didn’t make sense to her...shepherd planets got more costly the further the Houses extended themselves."

This makes me think of necromancy in a different way than I had before. Rather than just being about magic and warfare, necromancy is essentially the technology of the Nine Houses (aside from some legacy technologies that they have left over from pre-Resurrection), the tool that they use to solve all of their problems and make their society and economy and government function.

#the locked tomb #tlt #world building #necromancy #space logistics

[asha-mage]

Since it's my birthday my friends got me the amazing gift of 'watching the Wheel of Time show while occasionally stopping to discuss/let me loose my mind' for which I am incredibly grateful. A few random observations from this time through, as I attempted to view it through the lens of the entirely WoT uninitiated (as my friends are)-

The group shots, where the camera passes from one of the Emond's Field 5 to another, do this clever trick where Rand is never actually standing on his own. He's always standing beside or behind someone in one of these shots, so the camera doesn't actually have to cut or pan away from someone else to get to him. This serves the purpose of highlighting him in contrast to his friends, but also to subtlety downplay his presence to the audience, and build up to the Dragon reveal in episode 7 very effectively.

The cinematography in general is so exceedingly rich and delicious- the stark white of the Whitecloak camp contrasted with the bloody reality of their actions. The bright primary colors used to make the Aes Sedai visually pop and feel magical and strange, even as they are dressed (for the most part) practically for their traveling (a complaint I had about the Witcher, aside from everything being brown and grey all the time, is that the mages show up to battles dressed in ballroom dresses instead of you know, clothing that would make sense). The subtle use of lighting and camera angle to create a sense of vast isolation of Shadar Logoth, fear and danger in the Ways, and cramp sweltering heat in the Blight.

Moiraine's opening narration in episode 1 is essentially a summary of the information we get from one of the epigraphs at the ending of the Eye of the World prologue, to whit:

"And the Shadow fell upon the land, and the world was riven, stone from stone. The oceans fled and the mountains where swallowed up. and the nations where scattered to the eight corners of the world. The moon was blood and the sun was as ashes. The seas boiled, and the living envied the dead. All was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others, of him who brought the shadow, and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon." - Aleth nin Tearin alta Camora, The Breaking of the World, author unknown, the Fourth Age "The world is broken. Many many years ago men who where born with great power attempted to cage darkness itself. The arrogance. When they failed, the seas boiled, mountains where swallowed up, cities burned, and the women of the Aes Sedai where left to pick up the pieces. These women remembered one thing above all else, the man who brought the Breaking of the World. And him, they. named Dragon." - Moiraine

This makes me suspect their was an earlier version of the script that actually used the epigraph (maybe even both of them). I have mixed on feeling on this, as the epigraphs are one of my favorite artistic choices of Jordan's and really help emphasize the history and depth of his world, but I think filtering it through Moiriane and making it slightly less opaque was a smart choice to convey the information to the audience. I also think this works on a character level as well- here is Moiraine's understanding of this information, shaped by her biases.

Every re-watch also makes me more and more comfortable in my 'the show is a future/past turning of the wheel from the books, the broad events and truths being the same, but seen in one of those endless variations we hear about' interpretation of the series. The heart of the story and characters is the same, and the broad strokes and framework are the same, but it's in the details where things emerge as different. This interpretation has the benefit of fitting really really well with the meta-narrative stuff Jordan always liked to pull, and in freeing I think the show expectations of being a one-to-one recreation.

That said I defiantly felt the cracks in the final two episodes as a result of the Covid shutter and loosing Barney Harris more strongly this time- some of that being that this is my first re watching of season 1 since I've seen season 2. You can practically see the things they wanted/planned to do that had to re-worked because of circumstances beyond their control. Mat's absence in the group argument scene (and the 'I am so tired of you two fighting over her' line that was clearly meant to be Mat's), as well as the lack of bigger/more cohesive battle scene in Tarwin's Gap. You can also tell they hadn't quite figured out how they where going to re-work season 2 yet given that the ending for season 1 had to be changed last minute (for example, their is no reason for Moiraine to just outright admit that she released Lan's bond unless they hadn't yet decided that was where their arc was going yet).

I think the show does an exceedingly good job of structuring it's exposition to the un-intiatited, trying to stagger it so that audience is largely learning new things in pace with the characters. I know people where frustrated that things like the War of Power have yet to come up in earnest even in the Latra and Lews scene, but I think the slow and steady reveal of things matches both the core idea of 'their is always more you don't know', and trying not to overwhelm the audience. My friends had no trouble following what was going and picking up the bigger implications/subtext that underpins a lot of information. 'But why did the Dragon try to cage the Dark One? It doesn't seem like it was that simple.' came up a few times especially.

The detail that what jump-starts Perrin's wolf brother connection is having his wound healed/cleaned by the wolves in that scene from episode 2 is so incredibly clever, and a good twist on the traditional 'werewolf bite' mythology.

I love the deliberate choice to incorporate so many random ruins and remnants of things in the background of shots. Not just the 'dilapidated stone buildings' that the characters camp in, but things like the trio of carved faces that Egwene and Perrin run past while fleeing the Whitecloaks, or the boundary stones Mat and Rand pass on the road, or even just the small carvings and pillars scattered about the cave where they are holding Logain. It all helps to make you feel that ancientness, that brokenness of this world more effectively.

The reoccurring use of the Dragon's Fang to symbolize violence and destruction: the Trollocs using it as a scare tactics, it appearing in the blood in the pool after Nynaeve kills the Trolloc, being burned into Siuan's ruined childhood home....and the way that contrasts with it's use in the finale episode, when we see it whole and unbroken in the seal/yin yang symbol for the first time was really really clever. One of my friends actually gasped out loud and went 'oh' at the first shot of the whole seal when it clicked.

The show does an exceedingly good job of maintaining that core idea of the series that it's about our relationship to violence- violence never being casual or simple or easy, but always raw, hard and bloody and a little bit ugly. EVen subtle things like the way the show depicts Moraine hurling stones at the Trollocs with uncomfortable frankness, trying to literalize what in most fantasy media would be an abstract. Take it from I cast stone 2, to I inflict horrible blunt force trauma on another creature. And of course everything re: Perrin and his ax.

I have more thoughts, but I think I'll save some of them for after we watch season 1, because they relate strongly to stuff from there.

#WoT #Wheel of Time #Wot On PRime #Wheel of Time on Prime #WoT s1 #WoT Meta #Wheel of time Meta #WoT Musing #Rand al'Thor #Moiraine Damodred #Perrin Aybara #Egwene al'Vere

[mariposahxh]

TOGASHI CREATED KILLUGON BASED ON A ROMANTIC COUPLE FROM THE ROMCOM HE WROTE !!

Did you know Togashi created a romantic comedy manga back in 1989? He always talked about liking shojo and romance but it’s not very known that he actually wrote one! (this is about killugon i promise keep reading)

title : Ten de Shōwaru Cupid

disclaimer : it’s nsfw and kinda gross (MINORSDON’TREADIT) but i’m not showing or talking about any of those nsfw things in this post so don’t worry!

It was never officially licensed so there’s no released English translation.

Very vaguely, the story is about Ryuji and Maria, the main romantic couple (pictured above) . It’s sorta a “ friends to lovers “ situation… in it’s own way.

Anyway, there’s one scene that started this whole discovery. Ryuji and Maria essentially go on a star gazing date. (yakwtfgo)

a few panels from the scene :

Star gazing. Shooting star. Deep conversation.

Doesn’t that sound familiar?

But wait, it also LOOKS familiar.

losing my mind bc ohmygoddd togashi ur so insane for this.

hell, even the set up and light/dark scheme is similar.

1989 : Togashi creates a star gazing date between the protagonist and deuteragonist of his shojo.

1998 : Togashi creates a star gazing date between the protagonist and deuteragonist of his shonen.

it took him ten years to make it gay

There’s more :

As we all know, Killua has electric powers. He has one move in particular called “ 落雷 “ (thunderbolt/lightning strike)

Coincidentally, Maria from the romcom ALSO has electric powers. Not just any electric power though, she has a move called “ 落雷 “ (thunderbolt/lightning strike)

Deuteragonists with electric powers and a thunderbolt move.

What’s next? Maria also being immune to poison just like Killua?

Exactly.

Miss Maria over here is the OG “ i’m immune to poison ” character. She drinks the poison from the snake to hide her demon tail (wild plot ik)

—

(( 4/27 update : i was just reminded of how Killua has that snake awaken thing with his aura hhhhhhomg

when they’re both associated with snakes ))

—

So, a deuteragonist who is strongly devoted to the protagonist, in love with the protagonist, immune to poison, has lightning powers, uses a move called "thunderbolt", and has been on a stargazing date with their protagonist.

It’s almost as if… Maria was Togashi’s blueprint for Killua.

This next portion isn’t as big but they’re just little situations that gave me deja vu :

Here we have the classic jealousy situation when a “romantic rival” enters the story.

- Stalking as they talk by a tree.

- Fuming with anger as something affectionate happens between them.

- Fleeing when the current situation became too much to handle. (in killua’s case he left to go fight a rabbit but still. yk he wasn’t about to stick around for what came next😭)

And there’s also the way they bump heads and bicker with each other like a married couple.

i’m sure there’s more similarities and hxh inspo in the story but i don’t feel like rereading and translating it all

In conclusion :

This means that from the very beginning, Togashi intentionally coded Gon and Killua from a romantic couple. KilluGon is the recreated/reimagined version of Ryuji and Maria (a pure and sfw and gay version)

goated behavior tbh

#killugon propaganda #killugon #killugon canon #hunter x hunter gay #killugon stays winning #killugon supremacy #killugon solos #killugon solos ur fav #killugon is real #Gon and Killua gay #togashi loves gay manga #if they’re not gay then why did togashi write them like that #killugon parallel

[geryone]

Tagged by @briarhips (thank you ❤️) to make a post of 9 book recs!!! ❤️

1. The Book of X by Sarah Rose Etter

Etter is quickly becoming a new favorite writer! Cassie is born with her abdomen twisted in a knot and her family owns a meat quarry. So weird & so good.

2. The Dumb House by John Burnside

One of my personal favorites. A man tries recreating an experiment to discover the origin of language. The narrator experiments on his own children. The story itself is so upsetting but the worst part is living in the mind of the narrator who feels NOTHING.

3. At Night All Blood is Black by David Diop

A small book that packs a huge punch. The story of a soldier’s descent into madness in the trenches while fighting in WWI.

4. Our Wives Under The Sea by Julia Armfield

Lesbians, deep sea horror, & the experience of grieving someone who is physically still with you

5. Strange Beasts of China by Yan Ge

This audiobook was INSANE!! Have listened to it many times. Scifi book about different types of “beasts” that exist in the world. Told in different short stories. Think about this book often!!

6. My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell:

I don’t recommend this lightly. This one is hard to read & deeply uncomfortable. About the relationship between a 15 year old girl and her 45 year old teacher. Partly told from the perspective of 15 year old Vanessa & also from Vanessa when she’s 30. A reflection on trauma & the inability to let yourself believe you are a victim.

7. The Death of Jane Lawrence by Caitlin Starling:

Essentially Crimson Peak. Gothic horror & such a fun audiobook to listen to in the fall.

8. Rien Ne Va Plus by Margarita Karapanou:

This book is about a relationship ending & all the cruelty and pain that are involved. Told from the perspective of both people. Adored this!!

9. Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis:

This book was formative read for me as a teenager. A retelling of Psyche & Eros told from the perspective of an older sister. I related so hard to Orual the first time I read this :(

Tagging: @jockpoetry @coffee-writes @iloveyoumorethangod @emiliosandozsequence @bloedkoraal @mermaidteeth @saintmelangell @woundthatswallows @oliverisms @othellho @typewriter-worries @unmarrow + anyone else who wants to :) !! Always looking for more recs

#I love doing these!!! suck at writing little summaries but you get the idea #I talk a lot about poetry but I also read a lot of novels & im touching to read some more

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

The Owl House Series Finale Thoughts, part 1

So, now that I’ve had time to vent and gather my thoughts I can say that The Owl House series finale, was a letdown. 

There were strong elements: the animation, the voice acting, the music, all incredible. I do deeply appreciate the hard work and talent the crew brought in making this show and how many people have felt represented and seen by the show’s inclusivity and themes. I feel that this show will be beloved and remembered for a long time.

However, I feel like the show made critical errors that actually undermined what it set out to do. Before I get into my thoughts, let me explain how I got into this show:

I happened to stumble upon the show because it looked neat and heard that the show creator also worked on Gravity Falls, another show I enjoyed. The first season was fun; bright, clever, and you could tell it wanted to tell a larger story with deep and meaningful themes. Season 2A was also fun and it had begun to depict a darker, more mature world. I didn’t think too much of the show, it was just fun, a typical kids’ cartoon show with good storytelling and memorable characters. Nothing really grabbed me about the show.

Until Hollow Mind.

Long-term fans will remember people being disappointed by the episode because they became attached to Fanon Philip that had appeared during the hiatus and we got something completely different in canon. How did this seemingly sweet young man turn into Emperor Belos? Turns out, he’s just a dick. A huge, murderous dick with a hero complex. 

I wasn’t there for Fanon Philip but what drew me to Belos was that in HM, his apparent backstory was in the literal background of the episode and it sparked my imagination. I joined the fandom because, like many, I wanted to know what Belos’ deal was. Many talented and creative people came up with long and compelling theories about the Wittebane brothers, speculation that was further fueled by the grimwalker reveal and Caleb appearing in Belos’ memories in King’s Tide. That speculation grew and people wrote whole fan fics and drew art depicting the trials and troubles of the Wittebanes. 

I became invested in the Wittebanes because their story was so tragic: two orphan boys who grew up in a cult, essentially forced to participate in witch hunts in an adapt-or-be-hanged situation, only for the elder to actually see the error of his ways and leave his younger brother behind, making him think he had been bewitched and that it was his duty to save him. 

We got more scraps of information in Thanks to Them, the most important being how the brothers only had each other and became witch-hunters to fit in. In For the Future, Caleb’s apparition appears--whether a ghost or hallucination is unknown---above his specter is a bloody knife, Caleb stares accusingly at the wretched, shambling remains of his younger brother. Philip lashes out angrily accusing him that it was his fault and that he “tried to save his soul.” This is a highly interpretive scene, and many thought it implied Belos’ deeply buried guilt and how he always lies to himself to justify his actions. All the while, deep down knowing the truth.

With all that in mind, what did we learn in Watching and Dreaming? What made this young man who ventured out to what he thought was literal hell to rescue his brother? His only family? Only to kill him in a fit of madness and spend literal centuries trying to recreate the brother of his childhood, to erase his original sin, all the while descending into madness and depravity?

Turns out he’s a dick. A huge, murderous dick with a hero complex.

“You assume Belos’ goal comes from a genuine place,” the Titan tells Luz. And seemingly the audience because fans wanted to see this story, this foundation to all of the horror and trauma. To understand how a man becomes evil. 

Well, according to the show, he’s just like that. Luz attempts to reconcile Belos’ goal of saving humanity with her own and wonders if their morality is really so different. Silly human, the Titan says. Your goals and motives are genuine, he’s just delusional and evil. So you can take comfort in the fact that your enemies’ goals are just self-serving, but yours are the real deal. 

Sorry but this is lazy.

You can’t say people are complicated and then turn around and say actually, no some people are just delusional and power-hungry and we’ll leave it at that. It seems that, in the universe of The Owl House, only good people are complicated; Lilith cursed Eda because she was desperate to get into the Emperor’s Coven but then she spends the rest of the time trying to cure her sister. Amity bullied Willow, but only because her parents forced them to no longer be friends, Hunter was the emperor’s right hand man, but only because he’s an abused teenager. Meanwhile, the villains of the show don’t have their motives given such depth, they just act in selfish and petty ways because they just are. 

I wouldn’t be bothered by Philip’s flat characterization if the show did not waste so much time giving us hints and clues that there’s actually more to him. What a twist! The villain you thought had greater complexity is just a Standard Villain, how genius! Such clever writing!

If he’s going to be simply a metaphor and not a real character then don’t tease us with a story that suggests otherwise. Keep your story clean and concise. Don’t dangle a potentially amazing storyline that aligns perfectly with the protagonist’s only to yank it away.

This is a waste of the audience’s time and squashes what could have been a wonderfully twisted and dynamic villain. But the show wasn’t interested. It's much easier and more comforting to just say bad people are just bad and never explore why. You could never become the villain because you’re good; don’t bother worrying that you and the villain have the same goals because his aren’t genuine!

 Remember kids, people are complicated. Unless you’re a villain. 

#the owl house #toh critical #toh criticism #emperor belos #philip wittebane #luz noceda #long post #the owl house spoilers #watching and dreaming spoilers

[thewritingmagician2022]

hii can i req fluffy smut with the side characters + satan? ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

Sure thing! I’m sorry it’s late but I hope you get to find this and enjoy. (Admittedly smut isn’t really my strong suit, at least in graphic terms, so I hope this still satisfies your request)

Satan: Satan is so, so good at recreating scenes from the more erotic books you read together. I’m not just talking about the kinky stuff (unless that’s something you’re into) but the romantic and intimate things. He loves to ask you what you think of certain scenes, actions, dialogue, etc. so that he can incorporate it into your sex life. He wants nothing more than to fulfill all of your fantasies. This means sometimes things can get a little intense for you both and, while you both enjoy that aspect, Satan is always sure he never takes it too far - he’s a strong advocate for a safe word, even during vanilla sex. Aftercare is also essential to him as well; he loves to snuggle up with you and put his hands on you in the most gentle of alwayss, especially bathing together, while you talk about the experience after. 

Diavolo: Diavolo is usually so careful with you during sex. He’s strong and large for a demon, let alone in relation to a human like yourself. His biggest fear is accidentally hurting you or pushing a boundary; all he wants to do enjoy your love for each other. He really enjoys you being in charge, if only because it soothes his soul and mind to know that you are in control of the intensity, position, power, etc. This way he won’t do anything wrong by accident. There’s also something so intimate about him giving you that control because it is literally the only place in his life where he can do that and the fact that he trusts you so much that he’s willing to be vulnerable means the world to both of you. Sex isn’t (just) a fun thing with Diavolo, it’s a testament to your relationship and your commitment and trust. 

Barbatos: All Barbatos cares about is your happiness and pleasure - that’s who he is at his core. He is there to serve. His ability to make you happy is what he is most proud of. He feels closest to you when he is giving you the most ultimate pleasure and he’s very aware of how important your emotional connection is during that as well. Barbatos can be a mischievous, even a bit sadistic at times, but he’s only going to incorporate that if it’s something you’re interested in. If it is, he’s comfortable doing it only if he knows he’s built enough trust with you and he would be the absolute best at aftercare both in terms of physical touch and words of affirmation so that you know how much he loves you. Conversely, if you’re not into that, he also loves loves loves being so slow and attentive and sweet; it’s essentially as if he’s worshipping you at any given time.  

Solomon: Things with Solomon as always fun. Solomon has seen and done all of it before; there’s really not much of anything you could bring to him that he wouldn’t be willing to do with you, especially if it would make you happy. This means that it’s easier to feel comfortable with him - you know it’s impossible to shock or scare him off, and he never judges you. There’s so much communication in your relationship and this translates so well to the bedroom and it let’s you both figure out what you enjoy the most and that leaves you feeling so connected after each experience together. It really helps foster that mental and emotional connection. Every day is like being with your best friend and it’s the kind of connection that people dream of one day having with their significant other especially in a world where actually talking about sex with your partner is so rare. 

Simeon: Sex with Simeon is always such an intimate and sensual experience. While Simeon is happy to experiment and learn new things with you, he is typically a very gentle lover. He is focused on connecting with you and creating an experience that leaves you both totally unaware of the world around you. There’s no God watching, no brothers or demons looking for your attention, no mortality - it’s just the two of you becoming one and being as close as possible. It’s typically a longer session with him as he’s someone who’s happy to keep the bubble around you two for as long as possible. He’s also the king of aftercare and dedicates equally as much time to connecting with you emotionally after sex to make sure you feel as loved and respected as possible.

#obey me #obey me imagines #obey me asks #obey me headcanons #obey me satan #obey me Dateables

[strwberri-milk]

First time requesting so sorry if this sounds weird I just really love how you write Kaeya😭 I’m on an angst-comfort kick so I was wondering if you’d be down to write a fic or Drabble of Kaeya essentially falling out of love with reader and breakup. BUT THEN like a few months or years later they see each other and like try to rekindle things! All good if you can’t/don’t want to though 😭

another pointer towards amidst my memory!! it is more smut based so i got you. a little drabble here that’s just going to be the getting back together like?? first date ish vibes :D

When the two of you broke up, a part of you refused to believe that it was really happening. Kaeya, the Kaeya that devoted his entire being to you, the man that showed you what it means to love someone with your entire being? Leaving you? You couldn’t understand what made him change his mind so abruptly, why when you tried to talk to him about the fact that he became so distant he simply shrugged his shoulders and told you he didn’t love you anymore. You wish he could have at least told you sooner, prevented you from spending even a day more with him than he would have to.

The cold look in his eye paired with the way he closed his body off to you just solidified things for you and you decided then that if that’s how he felt about you then you could walk away from him too.

That didn’t stop you from missing him occasionally as time went by, dating other people casually but never knowing if you’d ever feel the same way about them the way you did Kaeya. The two of you just understood each other on a level you never thought you could recreate with anybody else, no matter how badly you wished it could work out. Instead, you just let it be and waited patiently for the day that you would feel that spark again.

You thought that if you saw him again, you’d be okay. You went out of your way to avoid him and that worked for the most part, knowing that seeing him would just reopen old wounds that you didn’t want to deal with right now. However, when he taps you on your shoulder with that soft smile on his face that used to be just for you it invites butterflies rather than nerves.

“Hey. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

You don’t have the heart to tell him that somewhere along the way you stopped counting the days until his return, nodding stiffly as you try to escape his attention.

“It has. I’m sure you’re busy with work though so I’ll leave you to it.”

He can feel the way your eyes graze over his form, chest puffing a little in pride at the reminder that he’s worked hard his entire life and even if he is on the slimmer side, he has the muscles to show for it. You can easily see how he’s grown to fill out his clothes more, hands resting on his hips as he shifts his weight to one foot in a way that always seemed to fluster you.

“Not at the moment. I really wanted to see you again and I’m glad I caught you when I did,” he says with a touch of sadness, biting his lip slightly when your brows furrow.

“You wanted to see me again? After what happened I can’t help but doubt that,” you scoff lightly, rolling your eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry for what I said to you. I thought I didn’t love you anymore but I think I was just…afraid of messing things up.” Your ears perk up as he says that, blinking at him incredulously.

“You were just so good to me I started to justify everything nice you did as something malicious. I loved you, I still do. I just ruined everything because I was worried that one day things would end and I’d be caught by surprise and i just couldn’t do that, not with you.”

His hand twitches and you know that he wants to reach out and take your hand in his to interlace your fingers together and you want that more than you thought you ever could in this moment but you keep your hand at your side, Kaeya doing the same as he tries to continue to explain himself.

“I don’t expect us to start over completely, or for you to give me another chance but just know that if you wanted it, I’d say yes.”

His voice is earnest and you can’t hear anything over the rushing of your blood in your ears as you try to process his question. He’s not forcing you to do anything, simply standing in front of you nervously. You can read him much better now than before, recognizing that he was choosing not to hide behind a mask this time. He’s being truthful, trying to earn your trust back.

“Kaeya, I don’t know…” you start, sighing a little as he laughs nervously.

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you I don’t expect you to make a decision or expect you to say yes. Really, this is my last ditch attempt to get you to take me back but I know I don’t have much of a shot. I don’t think you waited for me and I don’t expect you would have. It’s fine, really.”

He starts to run again, turning away from you to hide the hurt that he feels despite his words. He really doesn’t want to make you feel like you owe him anything but he can’t deny the sting from your rejection no matter how much he might want to.

“I want to try again,” you mumble quietly, reaching out to take his hand.

He can’t believe his ears, wouldn’t if it weren’t for the loose hold of his fingers in yours.

“I want to try us again. I’ve missed you too.”

Those words make his heart sing again and despite the overwhelming urge to hug you tightly and pepper you in kisses he simply smiles at you, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“Thank you. I make sure you never regret it. I’ll spend the rest of my life giving you my love.”

It was those words that sang in your ear years later with the chiming of bells, Kaeya’s lips firmly pressed against yours in the shower of flower petals and well wishes.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader

[brian-kenny]

I just finished my 4th flower still life painting (my largest yet) and here are the results! Swipe left for more details and some WIP shots. I started this series because I want to advance my skills of photo-realistic oil painting through the common practice of painting floral still lifes. Basics baby! Naturally, I wanted to avoid the more traditional route of rendering flowers in a vase on a table, with perhaps some fruit and dishes, so instead I've chose an approach that incorporates more unusual objects alongside the flowers that reflect a personal narrative, and a touch of the surreal and mysterious! Essentially, I want the viewer to see these bricolage paintings and absorb some clues about my personality, interests, and states of mind through the objects I include and how they're arranged.

Before any painting begins, I intentionally select relatable objects that are 'very me' or that I find exciting, and create a vignette together with flowers I've found locally. This is the fun, purely creative part. Once I've settled on 'a look' I really like, then I take a photo. From there, it's just a mostly architectural, comparative process of recreating the image on canvas in oil paint as accurately as possible. This challenging process feels like working through a puzzle. Along the way, I'll make further creative decisions to make the painting more beautiful or 'magical' than the photo itself. In this case, I changed the colors of the background (to black, with a tinge of brown) and one of the pillars (to neon pink!), removed the plastic armature supporting the spools of threads, and added a feather and a golden ring. Eventually, the painting will reach an ever higher level of detail and a feeling that it's 'finished' will start to emerge until I declare it complete! It is tedious, but It's also fun, and challenging and I just f**king love it!

Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you have a lovely week and I can't wait to paint and share more! 🫶❤️

“Motley Cruising”(2023), oil on canvas, 24 x 30 inches, by #BrianKenny

#brian kenny #briankenny #art #oil painting #oil on canvas #realism painting #still life #flowers painting #manthong #contemporaryart

[pruning-the-minds-garden]

Unsafe Hypnokink Creators and Hypnotists List

And other unsafe persons

This list is to lead to the posts that I come across that detail credible (and I am using my own definition of credible; I'm not a lawyer nor a court of law) accusations of wrongdoing by hypnokink creators, and therefore people to Avoid. The article names here are going to be the names of the people who are detailed in the linked article, and where parenthetical attribution is given that is to indicate that the post is not written by me. I'm doing a Read More in order to make sure that as I edit the content below the cut (the list of creators), it updates the text that appears on Reblogs.

Potentially Unsafe Hypnokink Creators:

Nimja (via FetLife and his website): Dealing with underage partners, mistreating partners, dubious content in files. A list of red flags in Nath's dealings with him, which I also find to be credible. Evidence. Evidence. (by @writtenbynath)

Blueberry Empire (via Discord and YouTube): Transphobic and homophobic attitudes by creator as well as a history of allowing underage persons on her NSFW server. The Tumblr post is written by me, but that comes from a Twitter post written by someone else.

Inventive Mind (via Discord and FetLife): Highly abusive and non-consensual brainwashing and cult leader-like behavior, all laid out here. (note: link removed because someone was using the linked page - and my link to it - for nefarious purposes. Suffice to say it supports my prior point.)

NeuralNets (On FetLife, Reddit, and as AKAs DeepDreamStates, NeuroPlex here on Tumblr. Probably more places also): Since he basically asked me to, here's a basic primer on NeuralPlex's history of misdeeds and abuse. The essentials of it is that he doesn't directly create himself, but he sets up the structures for and allows to flourish, a culture of abuse and dangerous parasocial relationships - that is, a cult of personality with them at the center - on his Discord server and takes an attitude toward safety in his files that is at best perfunctory ("this is what I have to do in order to get to the good stuff") and at worst performative ("be careful with this file because it's really powerful!" is NOT a legitimate content warning, except to them it sometimes is). While I'm sure there are a lot of people who like that sort of content, you should know that if things go bad - and that's a nonzero possibility - then he is not going to be there to help you after and is going to sweep you under a rug after. It has happened before.

Dr. Headcrash: This one is most directly supported by a sort of secondary accusation, but that speaks back to a larger pattern. So, Headcrash is known to have abused past partners and there have been issues with conventions out on the West Coast for that reason, and so I feel the need to add him here as an unsafe creator/hypnotist. He doesn't have a Tumblr so far as I'm aware, so this links to his Twitter, but I'm sure he also has a FetLife as well.

Professor Mesmer: This person used a combination of recreational drugs and hypnosis, most especially b*mbi content, to condition and abuse a number of people across several (at least three) years. Because of a combination of safety and ethical concerns with the specific pieces of evidence to which I was linked I will not link them, however I find based on those links that the accusations are credible. All I'll do by way of substantiation is say to contact Bubbles for more, if you have questions. But, be polite. Update: This is one of the rare events in the hypnokink community to break out of the hypnokink community and get noticed by the wider world. Here is a Buzzfeed News article about Professor Mesmer. Yes, he is "James."

Vassalreturns: This person has an admitted - by them - history of serial (in the dozens of past partners/victims) abuse and consent violation. I do not know the precise details, but they describe violating limits, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and other classic abuse tactic in broad terms without specific details. I take them at their word. They are a creator of b*mbi-themed bimbo hypnokink content, and with their admitted history of abuse (which was shared with me on the condition I not broadcast it publicly, but I have vetted it and found it to be authentic) the fact they focus on "extreme" BS content is especially concerning. Also concerning is their language around their history, which shows less a genuine desire to change and more a belief that they are not capable of it coupled with a desire to fail to change and thus indulge in what is to them a forbidden fruit. Here is my post on the topic.

Other potentially unsafe people:

Ernesto / -stealth-; a photographer who advertises a willingness to take pictures of especially young, attractive women in his area for free. He buys dinner and transportation and then holds the pictures hostage in exchange for a glowing review, and uses the shoot as a chance to take advantage of his prospective model while emotionally abusing and threatening her. This is a pattern of behavior. It's also not new, but I was just made aware of it and it's ongoing.

savagemadeink: For harassing and aggressive behavior toward a content creator.

The Whack-a-Mole Rogues' Gallery:

This is the place where I will link to the rogues' gallery of predatory hypnotists who I come across on Tumblr, as I come across them. These are people who almost always delete their blog within a week or two of being called out, but reappear a month or two later under a different pseudonym (hence the name, based on me playing a never-ending game of whack-a-mole with them). I'm going to link their blog even though the link will almost certainly go dark, and link to the evidence. Since all of the accusations are basically copypasta of one another - disregarding consent, bad safety practices, treating subs poorly, etc - I'm not going to detail them. Read the evidence links for more.

Hypnotica2: Evidence

I will add to this as needed and as more come across my dash. This list is also still under construction.

#hypnokink #safety #consent

[giveemgreef]

the minnesota wild as High School Musical characters

did I take this too seriously? yes. have I spent the last week thinking about this? also yes. anyway, the context: we were assigned the wildcats by a swede. @babygirlspurgeon kept tagging things with HSM lyrics. @wildaboutmnhockey created the masterpiece video of the mn wild set to getcha head in the game. so now here I am!!! this has been meticulously constructed with the help of my friend who doesn't know anything about the wild beyond what I tell her (shoutout to zoe for being balls to the wall no matter what I throw at her! who else will discuss the misc. cunt levels of the wild players with me). anyway to make this easier on ourselves we constructed a reality wherein High School Musical is being recreated on ice & instead of basketball in the plot it's hockey, so this is NOT about who's most like a character etc (though that ended up being a large part of it anyway whoops), but who could embody them best in a production of it. since the cast for HSM is not...particularly large, I was really getting down into the weeds with minor parts to fit (almost) the whole roster in here, so most everyone has their moment!!! anyway. and lastly. I am just saying that mounting this show during intermissions could maybe fix the nightmare this season has been & bring the team together. because they are. after all. all in this together.

tldr: this is basically a fancast of HSM using only the minnesota wild. I am not explaining myself any further

***

Troy Bolton // Matt Boldy

look. we really had to waffle between many options for Troy and this is where we ended up. my thoughts on matt boldy have been semi-well documented at this point, so mr. white bread bimbo feels like an organic option for this role. I feel like he can really serve us some mid-range semi-insensitive high school jock realness + angst without trying too hard. plus: I feel like he'll play off Shawzy as Gabriella really well.

Gabriella Montez // Mason Shaw

for as fucking annoying as Gabriella is at points, there's an earnest authenticity there that shawzy so easily embodies. his "let's play hockey" moment from playoffs 2023........he has the emotional RANGE and will murder When There Was Me and You in cold blood. plus, much like gabriella does for troy in HSM, mason will be able to coax that emotional performance from boldy as troy with his whole do-it-for-shawzy energy. what else can be said!!! the boys love him!! so don't worry, shawzy!! you soon will be soaring. flying. and breaking free.

Sharpay Evans // Marcus Foligno

marcus foligno the man that you are. he can and WILL serve the cunt necessary to be Sharpay. he will commit body and soul to bringing this role to life, though we may have to adjust the line "evaporate, tall person" to be more appropriate. anyway. I would give SO much in this life to see moose perform Bop to the Top. who will fund this with me.

Ryan Evans // Mats Zuccarello

known funky little man mats zuccarello does SO WELL as Ryan in my mind. his dancing has been well documented so you KNOW he's gonna absolutely kill the game with those jazz squares (it's a crowd favorite! everybody loves a good jazz square), plus his affable, everyman, team-first energy is exactly what the role of ryan demands. also: the idea of him as ryan and foligno as sharpay....chef's kiss.

Chad Danforth // Ryan Hartman

hartzy...hype man for the boys...put him a series of shirts with chirpy slogans on them for my enjoyment please!!! then make him walk around with sports props for the entire production. anyway, hartzy gives me the requisite jock bro energy necessary to pull off chad's role, as well as the bitchiness needed to essentially sabotage something that is making his best buddy troy happy. plus. I'm just SAYING. given chad and ryan's dynamic in HSM2. I am eyeing him and zuccy with anticipation.

Taylor McKessie // Joel Eriksson Ek

he's going the distance. he's going for speed. he's being cast as the tenacious captain of the scholastic decathlon team. mr. september is nothing but committed to his craft and this seriousness and dedication is EXACTLY what we need for taylor. that being said, our boy jeek is up for some shenanigans given the right situation, so will he manufacture a situation to rudely disrupt the decathlon & basketball finals? but of course!!

Kelsi Nielsen // Connor Dewar

who ELSE is going to bring enough weird girl energy to the table?? I feel like dewey 2 would take this SO seriously and the role of kelsi, while at times beyond fucking annoying, demands nothing but sincerity and dedication. he wouldn't be able to NOT take this seriously. this man has also stated that he would be a writer if not for hockey, so we can really get some method acting up in this bitch. essentially: put a bowler hat on that beast and watch him go.

Ms. Darbus // Marc-Andre Fleury

this role had to be rotated in my mind a lot before settling on a casting choice. I mean, goalies are weird, and I feel like flower would bring jussssst enough bizarro energy that would perfectly drive a middle-aged thespian who, for some reason, allowed a high school student to write and mount a musical that seems to make little to no sense. maybe it's all part of a large prank. who knows.

Coach Bolton // Jake Middleton

I can't pretend this is anything other than typecasting, I'm so sorry. I can't look at middsy without being reminded of the dad from Inside Out, plus "the mustache is saying pushing 50" according to my friend. I can also perfectly envision middsy yelling WHAT ARE THOSE TWO DOING IN A TREE with great dedication, so. assigned dilf at HSM casting

Lucille Bolton // Jared Spurgeon

does spurge deserve a larger role? maybe. possibly. probably. but look: once we cast middsy as troy's dad, spurgeon was quick to follow as troy's mom. who are we to fight the natural sexual chemistry of these two? anyway. assigned milf at HSM casting

Jason Cross // Brandon Duhaime

typecast as dumb jock from a team of jocks. what does that say about you, mr. duhaime??? anyway, dewey 1 is really going to deliver on the clueless but loyal bro vibes here. as a bonus. a very IMPORTANT bonus. I have to note that at the end of All in this Together jason is the one to remove kelsi's bowler hat and help her shoot a basket in a VERY flirtatious manner. and I AM all about putting the deweys in that situation, so help me god.

Zeke Baylor // Frédérick Gaudreau

he IS a sweetheart!!!!! a sweetheart!!!!! someday you WILL make the perfect crème brûlée, freddy!!! & your boys will love you for it!!!!

Martha Cox // Brock Faber

the glasses are giving nerd. and then THIS is giving pop and lock and jam and break.

Skater Who Plays the Cello // Jon Merrill

do I need to explain this one????? c'mon. he's so believable as a skater kid and ALSO as someone who plays the cello. the duality of man is contained in jonny "vibes" merrill.

(tbc)

#minnesota wild

[nondidd]

2023 Art Summary 🥳

January remains my most emotional piece. I was processing grief during the one year anniversary of losing a close family member. And it’s apparently the only painting I did this year LOL

After that is where I went back to studying fairytale art. February being a NieR recreation of Arthur Rackham’s The Romance Of King Arthur artwork

Then as for march, that’s where I started to study Henry Clarke and essentially lost my mind for the rest of the year with linework ✌️😩

I had two favs from October so they both go in 🫶

And as for November and December I’ve hit my burnout + busy with health and holidays LOL. Not forcing an illustration just to have one so there’s all my silly little doodles ✌️

Honorable mention is the savanaclaw set I did this year! Wasn’t something I planned on but I had fun making it and it think it’s my most popular set this year. I was surprised so many people liked it 😆

The next photo is a comparison of how I drew FG Ruggie last year compared to this year. I wanted to show the comparison to explain my shift in focus in my illustrations. After studying Clarke’s work I realized I was having fun creating again. Not to say I’m not satisfied with how the older Ruggie piece came out but I found myself often frustrated with it trying to make sure everything was “drawn right” for lack of a better explanation. It was a chore. I’ve come to find I enjoy making illustrations now with the mindset of “how do I want to convey this” rather than “how accurate can I make these details”. Drawing the newer Ruggie was enjoyable the entire time. My focus wasn’t accurate details or semi realistic but rather what emotion could I convey with just these lines and limited color. And that’s how I’ve been moving forward with my art as of late. It’s been fun again

Because of my newfound confidence and enjoyment of creating again I’ve gone back to traditional sketching too. It used to feel so constricted for me but now with loose lines and a loose mindset I’ve been scribbling all over notebooks again 😆

All this ramble to say I’m satisfied with what I’ve done this year. My health needs to start taking priority come 2024 but I hope to still create and share in the new year ✌️ If you took the time to read all this, thank you 🙏

#art summary #art summary 2023

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

You know, I just wanna say this now. I actually don't mind Predators. Granted, I really liked it as a kid. And my opinion on it changed when talking with a fan.

But in all seriousness, I think it's a fine film. I just kind of don't care for it in a way. Yet it's more so that I'm...kind of annoyed when concerning behind the scenes stuff. I just didn't like the idea of the film totally ignoring Predator 2. A film Robert Rodreguiz did not like. And I'm just not a fan of the "Super Predators" idea because it's just a stupid concept to me.

And well, I disliked the idea of the "Super Predators" essentially being compared to wolves and the regular Predators/Yautja are dogs...again, I'm not keen on the "Super Predators" idea. Or honestly, I want to rewatch the film.

Really, Berserker, Falconer and Tracker could've been just some regular Bad Bloods instead. And kind of a nitpick. While I think I get the intention. They really just didn't need to Crucified Predator look almost EXACTLY like Diablo. They really could've made something that was just a homage to the original, but not a full-on recreation. Because at first as a kid, I legit thought that was THE OG PREDATOR. Despite it wouldn't make any sense to bring that character back.

Anyway, I actually think it's rather cool that Predator Hunting Grounds gave some lore about Isabelle returning to Earth and all that. That's actually neat, I was listening to some of the tapes and found that cool. Also, I strangely appreciate that in those tapes, they kind of acknowledge the 2018 Predator film was crap.

#predator #predators #yautja

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

sam

sam reminded annie of robbie a lot. he was a tall, kind of goofy but handsome guy in his mid-20s. he was two years into a professional career and a kind of early adulthood malaise was setting in.

annie's conversations with him about essentially how to have fun and build a life around work were very frank. he asked her if she did drugs, and she said yes, she did a lot of recreational drugs in fact. they talked about casual sex -- annie told him she was in several very casual relationships but also just tried to cultivate an air of being "basically dtf at all times" that led to things like, she told him honestly, giving her best friend's dad a blowjob. twice.

sam was having a lot of sex, but seemed pretty bored by it. he did well on apps but found it kind of empty. meanwhile, he had lots of nonsexual friendships with women. annie made the suggestion that maybe he could fuck the women in his social groups and he seemed bewildered as to how that would even happen without an app to facilitate. she gave him some pointers.

one day, sam came in and told annie he wanted to tell her about something he'd never told anyone.

he told her that when he was 17 years old, browsing around on social media, he had come across a video of his older sister having sex.

"came across it how?" annie asked.

he explained that it was on tumblr, and he followed a page where real couples submitted things, and one of the submissions was his sister and her boyfriend. and he knew for sure because both of their faces were in the video, as well as their correct first names.

"the internet used to be crazy," annie said.

she asked him how seeing the video made him feel and he said it felt like getting forbidden knowledge. he told her he watched the video, and even downloaded it, and watched it several times over the course of a year or so, at which point he felt guilty and deleted it.

"you ever jerk off to it?" annie asked, curious and nonjudgmental.

"yeah, a couple times," he said.

"did you ever tell your sister?"

"no," he said. "and that's the thing. i feel like i should."

"why?"

"well, i guess like, she's married now, to a different guy, and she's pregnant, and like, we have a different kind of friendship now like a real one, as adults, and I like the way we're being really honest and open with each other, about our lives and our parents and i feel like i'm hiding something from her."

"tell her," annie said.

"she'll freak out."

"i don't know," annie said. "i mean don't tell her you jerked off to it, at least not right away. just tell her you saw it and you wanted her to know because it felt weird to have that hidden from her. i think she'll get it and she might not even mind. i mean she wanted people to see her fucking when she submitted the video."

sam said he'd think about it.

he had kind of a funny grin on his face when he came back the next week.

"so," he said. "i told my sister, and you were right."

"what happened?"

"well, i told her i needed to confess something weird from our youth and i told her, and she laughed, and she was like, oh god i was worried you like killed a dog or something. and then she said she remembered the video really well because it had gone all over tumblr and several of her friends had seen it, which at the time was a real turn on. i said you don't think it's weird that i watched it? and she said, "no, i mean, i was really hot when i made that, i was like 20. i wanted everyone to see me naked."

"how graphic was the video?" annie asked.

"i mean you see everything, it's a full fuck. she sucks his cock, he takes off her clothes, they fuck in a bunch of positions, you see like her entire pussy and ass, and he cums on her pussy at the end."

"shaved?" annie asked.

"yeah," he said.

"so what else happened?"

"she said that if she'd come across a video like that of me she would have absolutely watched it too, and she said she's not ashamed of her body at all, so it's totally fine. and i said she shouldn't be ashamed of her body and she looks even better now than she did then."

"well, that was good thing to say," annie said. "how pregnant is she?"

"i think 20 weeks? she just has a little baby bump. it's cute."

annie sensed there was more to the story, somehow. "so then what?"

sam grinned, "well, then she was like, 'you should show me your cock so we're even.'"

"did she use the word cock?"

"yeah," he said. "why?"

"it's just a very horny word. like, as opposed to dick. or penis."

"well, she definitely said cock, because i was like, 'my cock is not like, very impressive just all by itself.' and she asked if i had any videos of me fucking my girlfriend. which i don't, unfortunately."

"unfortunately," annie said.

"so she was like, 'just get it hard' and i was kind of hesitating, so she showed me her tits."

"wow," annie said. "i like your sister."

"she had this tank top on and she just pulled it down. her boobs are like, way bigger than they were in the video."

"so what did you do?"

he laughed. "i started stroking my cock in my shorts, like trying to get it hard before i pulled it out, and she reached over and pulled my shorts down. like, my cock and balls popped out."

annie laughed. "what did she think?"

"she said, 'you have a great cock.'"

"did you like hearing that?"

"for sure," he said. "and so then i was hard, so i kind of just stood there with it out for a minute. and i said it was weird, and she said it didn't really have to be, she told me she had nothing to hide from me. and i also said that like, i normally am shaved but i was kind of neglecting it, and so then she stood up and she pulled down her jeans and she showed me she had like, a full bush."

"hell yeah," annie said.

"i'd actually never seen a girl in real life with a bush before."

"really?" annie said.

"it's pretty rare," he said. "she's the only one i know."

"i have a full bush," annie said. "so now you know two."

"do you think it's like crazy that she did that?"

"no," annie said. "i live with my brother and he sees me naked all the time and i like it," she said. "i like the intimacy it creates. i don't hide anything from him, either. i like total honesty."

"i like that you're so honest with me," he said. "sometimes i feel like you tell me too much."

"like what?"

"like that you do coke and have a bush, like, it's really weird to sit here across from you and see you all dressed up professional and nice and to imagine you snorting lines and having sex."

"well, i do snort lines and have sex," annie said. "just not in here. but i don't mind that you imagine that."

"women are really different than i assumed," sam said.

[failed-inspection]

🔥EPIC CLUMP LORE MASTER POST YEEEAAH🔥

Hii Hiii I'm very much in the mood to ramble about my Rain World ocs, so what better way to start off with that than going over the little guy in my icon, behold, Clump!

Before I explain their deal I should preference by saying that:

1: they have no connections to the Notosverse (THE RW OCverse with Pioneer, Poet, Luminal, and generally the rest of my 100% serious Rain World ocs)

and 2: they started as a jolly co-op joke oc that was NOT meant to be taken seriously at all, but evidently I suck at making 100% joke ocs so whoops, they're now semi serious semi joke and all around all very goofy so please keep that in mind, and 3: uhh yeah

- Clump is most certainly a purposed organism (obviously), most likely being created some time after the original Spearmaster was sent out during their first mission, but before the pearl was delivered/shortly before the rot happened, however, who created them and *why* is anyone's guess. No one knows, not even Clump. They'd just shrug if asked. But the most common theory is that another iterator saw Spearmaster, thought they looked weird as hell, and attempted to recreate them for themselves

- At one point they probably encountered the original Spearmaster and went along with them to Suns on their way back from the first mission... Suns was rightfully a bit spooked because Where The Hell did they come from and how, Clump ended up going their own way after the start of the second mission however so it wasn't like they ended up living with SM and Suns 😔

- Clump got their name from 'looking like a clump of [The Original Spearmaster's] skin', according to Suns

- they discovered what rot is after encountering The Memory Conflux Garbage Wastes Room, after being chased by a salamander, the both of them ended up falling into the rot pool, while Clump was able to make it out, the salamander was not so lucky, having been dragged down and eaten by the proto rot

- the reasons they give to wanting to cure the rot, according to them, are as follows:

1: They feel that slowly rotting away and being eaten alive is a horrific fate no one deserves, even for a god machine (though they claim to have little attachment to the iterators as individuals despite that, whether or not that truly is the case is a major point of contention, lol. lmao. they're clueless about it but deep down subconsciously they really do care for the iterators due to the lingering sense of familiarity.)

2: the fact that rot is being introduced to the surrounding areas is a major problem, as it puts everything and everyone else in the vicinity in active danger due to how the rot can become mobile and thus able to actively seek out and eat creatures, alongside being hard to kill, plus, who knows what else, what if it turns out to be infectious towards the wildlife as well!?, it's not worth finding out, so better get rid of it all than regret it... Maybe that could save the area or something

3: They want to have a name for themself, recognized as the one to took action when no one else did anything and cured The Rot, maybe even get on the cover of Time Magazine Slugcat Of The Year for doing so

- while their desire to cure the rot does seem to be genuine, if not just a little shallow in some aspects, their ways of trying to do so... Really lack surgical professionalism, it essentially borders on slapstick cartoon logic, they have tried the following in treating the rot: throwing ibuprofen at it, shooting it with a rifle they found, spearing it several times

- if their name followed in game scug titles (The Monk, The Hunter, stuff like that), they'd have 'The Medic' as a title

- They're!!! Stubborn!! They're determined to find a cure and won't take the idea of giving up as a possibility!

- they started wearing their bandana after discovering the rot as a means of defense against it, fun fact, their bandana is made out of the same stuff as the fabric that coats explosive spears, meaning they can wrap it around a spear as like, a one time use way to craft an explosive spear when in a tight spot since rot cysts are weak to explosives

Extremely goofy for a scug? yes but also I am having so much fun and ended up getting attached so oops

#rwocstuff #lex rambles #rain world oc #rain world #rain world downpour #jolly coop

[azenpal]

A movie night and a bad, worse, not-so-bad night

– aaron hotchner x coworker!female reader  

summary | a different version of the ending scene in criminal minds 7x02 that ends in a confession

warnings | some self-deprecating thoughts because it’s Hotch, aside from that none i think, fluff attack

word count | 5600

a/n | hi, this is my first fic and this is just also me trying to give hotch a happy ending. im glad to be sharing this (finally), so if you have any comments, tips, or reactions for me, that would be greatly appreciated! 

Working in the BAU has its ups and downs. There’s never a way to predict what will come next. Something will always catch you by surprise whenever you think that maybe you’ve seen it all. Not that you’re complaining, you love this job and the additional family you have now. But with the cases you wish aren’t true, you made it a task to find a way to pull yourself up when it gets too deep. Something that will remind you that everything will be okay; you’ve done well. Even though there are millions of other ways an easy or a rough case could’ve gone, something to be thankful for is that you and the team are safe in your homes; you still would be able to make a difference tomorrow.

However, after a few cases, you find it challenging to find something that will always cheer you up. Shopping only works if you need something. Going out isn’t an option since you only want to go to clubs when the team decides to celebrate. So then, it started to get on your nerves when you couldn’t find anything permanent. So after racking your brain and searching on google for “relaxing ways to treat yourself,” you realize that doing what you already like is the easiest way to relax. And what better way it is to treat yourself than getting in your comfiest sleepwear with food while watching? None, right? It gives you a sense of normalcy and comfort that things will be better, no matter how hopeless your situation is, and that is precisely why this specific routine is essential for you. Or what the team calls your after-a-case-special-treat. It’s just your thing. 

Through your routine, you have also realized that having one thing constant in your life helps you be grounded and away from going crazy. It’s nothing excessive anyway; a simple meal you’ve been craving or a take-out food you’ve been eyeing matched with a movie you’ve heard from Pen is how most of it goes. But sometimes, when there’s a case that plays with your head, you take an extra step by searching for new restaurants near your area or finding new recipes you can recreate to even discussing with Pen the food and movie pairing that you have in your mind to ask for her opinion. So it’s good to say that you look forward to it after every case; it gives you a way to compartmentalize till you’re ready to face the more serious aspect of life. 

Drinking all the coffee left in your cup, you start to fix your things when you hear footsteps that emit sunshine all over the floor. 

“How is my favorite profiler?” Penelope asked in a sing-song voice while sitting in front of your desk and taking your notebook filled with notes about your after-a-case-special-treat. 

“Hey, hey, baby girl, I thought I was your favorite profiler.” Derek intruded, or as Pen calls him, his chocolate thunder intruded. 

“You know you are,” Pen answered with that flirty voice that made you remember that time she almost got herself in trouble when Strauss was on the receiving end of a phone call. Smiling at the memory your mind played, you continued to fix your things to go home while letting the two continue their banter. Doing a mental checklist in your head, you looked around and noticed that the air isn’t suffocating or solemn, and no one seems stressed, which is good. Although you wouldn’t describe the case as easy as there was some trouble with the local police, nothing new, but thankfully, no one got hurt during the entire period, and the unsub was caught earlier than the team expected. Finishing the case yesterday night and opting to stay and just fly early as everyone had their own room this time. 

After grabbing your notebook that Pen was looking at until Derek distracted her, you looked up. You saw that even Emily is arranging her things, looking excited to go home to Sergio and Rossi walking into Hotch’s room, probably to bother him. At the same time, Pen and Derek still continue their banter- Spencer, of course, already left hours ago, being the first to finish his reports. 

“Wait! Where are you going? The Oracle of Quantico is not finished with you yet.” Pen shouted at you, crossing her arms in front of her while Derek stared at you with a playful expression before speaking, “Yes, you insensitive subject, how could you dare go when my Goddess is not done with you yet?” 

Squinting your eyes at Derek and scoffing at him, you turn to Pen to do a curtsy, “I apologize for my mistake. I thought I was interfering and decided to remove myself.” Unknowingly, Emily stopped to look at the childishness the three of you were displaying while Hotch, Rossi, and JJ, who all stepped out of their office, looked with amusement at the play you guys were showcasing. 

“Hand me over that notebook. I shall look to see if your film and comestible pairs well and if it satisfies me so I would not be disappointed if I ever decide to crash your night later.” Pen asserted while taking your notebook out of your bag. 

“I’d be happy if you ever decide to join me. However, I must inform you that I do not plan on having my usual occasion tonight as I have planned to clean my home and do it tomorrow.” You answered while doing yet another curtsy that brought a smile to your other team members, that are now invested in whatever the hell you three are doing. 

Taking advantage of the still early Friday night, you decided to move your routine tomorrow so you could pretend to be a college student relaxing on a Saturday night as you pick another movie in the list that Pen and you made whenever you have free time or when she sees an exciting trailer. 

“Well, you have another room for one?” Derek asked, looking at the Pen and you, asking for your permission. 

“Ohh! Ohhh! A movie night with moi chocolate six-pack. I love it! We have room for another one, right right?” Pen looked at you intently while trying her best at puppy eyes- which is working. Debating whether to say yes since you considered you will be doing a general cleaning today, so technically it would be presentable tomorrow for other people. 

“I promise I won’t steal anything.” Morgan playfully told you while raising his eyebrows which you returned with another glare. But looking at Pen with hopeful eyes, guess you’re gonna invite- 

“How about I host movie night tomorrow?” Rossi asked, well, more like announced, gathering the attention of the three of you and Emily, who was now sitting at her table. 

“Now that’s more I like it, movie night with the team and at a mansion? Count. Me. In.” Garcia answered in a heartbeat while returning your notebook to your bag and running to her cave. “But still dibs on picking the movie!”

Looking around to see some cars and silhouettes inside the house meant that the other members were already inside. You expected that anyway as you chose to walk. It felt like your plans of relaxing at home were replaced by a better one, like an economy seat getting upgraded to a suite one as you walk near the door of Rossi’s mansion. Pressing the doorbell and taking one final deep breath as you smile to yourself, excited about where the night would take you, a miscalculation that you did not look forward to has entered your mind as you see your Unit Chief opening the door wearing casual clothes and homely and just so— handsome. Oh, dear. Imagine coming home to that every day. 

“Hey, the others are all in the kitchen. Rossi is teaching everyone the right way to make pasta.” He said. While smiling. And looking at you. Why would he do that? Why would he smile and look you in the eye and be handsome? 

“Hey, you okay?” No. I am not okay. 

“Yeah, didn’t think I was gonna be late for a Rossi special class.” Yeah, that was smooth. Good thing your hearing is still intact while admiring him. Good job, self. You can do this. Just enjoy the night. How hard can this be? 

The answer is: it’s extremely hard. Not even ten minutes have passed, and your thoughts are already focused on your boss only as you find yourself seated beside him while trying to entice yourself into Rossi’s cooking. But it’s also hard when Pen is looking at you from the other side of the table, trying to send you a message using her eyebrows. Does she know about your tiny massive crush on your boss? What exactly is she trying to do by wriggling her eyebrows at you and looking at Aaron as if the man isn’t beside you? And why are you calling him Aaron? 

“And that’s how you make yourself a great pasta. Here, have a taste.” Oh. Rossi is already done with his lesson, and you understood nothing spiraling about your boss. Oh no. You are in deep trouble, you like like Hotch, as in truly like him, you see him as a man you could date, and he’s not just a boss to you, he’s- 

“Hey, are you sure you’re alright?” Hotch whispers to you. He whispered to you, and you could feel him at your neck, and oh, that feels so-stop. 

“Yeah, yeah, just feeling a bit tired. I kinda cleaned some stuff before coming here, so yeah.” Yeah, that’s a good excuse. Cleaning some stuff, ’cause you were cleaning stuff yesterday. Why did you say stuff? What kind of stuff is there to be cleaned? Oh, why did you say that? How is he so near? He has really nice eyes, sort of calming now that he’s up close to you and- 

“If you two are done gazing at each other’s eyes, you can raise your glass now.” Forcing yourself back at the table, you now see the team looking at you and smiling suspiciously, and even Spencer eyeing you weirdly while Pen continues to wriggle her eyebrows at you, and oh no. Everyone knows your crush for Hotch, don’t they? 

“To more successful case, to family, and even more.” This is gonna be a bad night. 

Helping Rossi clean the plates with Emily seems a proving task to get your mind straight as they both eye you, waiting for you to talk. The only question is, would you take the bait? With all the embarrassing actions and stiffness you’ve exhibited today, you are 100% sure that they know your not-so-secretive secret. Hence, there’s no more reason for you to indulge them and embarrass yourself further. Nevertheless, not knowing when they’ve been suspicious of you is also bugging you, and this seems to be a perfect chance to ask them how foolish you’ve been looking while you think you were secretly admiring your boss all this time. 

“Should I ask the question, or will you talk?” Emily looks at you expectantly with the glint of mischievousness not leaving her eyes. 

“Or maybe we should just let her eye the boss more and pretend we don’t see it. We’ve been doing it for months anyway.” Rossi instigated while smiling. 

“You know what, you’re right. Let’s just leave her be. She can do this on her own. Not very well, since we all know it, but she’s still doing it.” 

Interrupting their banter you asked, “Is it safe to assume that everyone in the team knows I have a crush on, you know—him?” Even if Penelope is not a profiler, you think that she knows with the look she spared you earlier and all the eyebrow wriggling she did. But did Hotch know? 

“Yes, the team knows. Stop spiraling in your head alone. It’s just the three of us here. Might as well voice everything out.” Okay. That’s great. Let’s just do that. 

“Do you guys think if maybe, there’s a chance that you know, Hotch also knows?” Asking this might be stupid, but it’s not easy to not stare at him and just enjoy it. I mean, he’s very very pleasing in the eyes. 

“Well, he’s a profiler and our boss, so I think it’s also safe to say that everyone does know.” Well duh. Of course, he knows. You probably did a lot of stupid stuff while ogling him, and he’s a great profiler, so yeah, he must know it. 

“But then again, he’s also a man older than you with a son. We all know how Aaron’s mind runs. Even if he puts on a brave front, he’s still cautious and afraid of some things. Does he feel you staring at him every day? Sure, it’s not that hard to miss, you know. But would he conclude that you like him? Maybe. No. We don’t know. The only way to find that out is if someone truly asks him.” Yeah, Rossi has a point. Maybe you can nudge Pen to ask Hotch if he thinks you staring at him is bothersome, or just ask him about his opinion of you. 

“And by someone, I mean you.” 

“Ah- what? I just- I can’t just ask him if he knows that I like him that like you know that would be the same as confessing to him.” 

“Mia cara, I know you think there’s no chance of being more with him. But you are incredible and bright, and that’s just some of the reasons why we love you.” 

“But he’s Hotch. He’s more than incredible. He’s amazing and more than me in all aspects. He’s one of the best profilers, a supportive and loving father to Jack, a great, reliable friend, and just a— stopping yourself to find the word to describe him, you stare at him both before concluding —great man.”   

Humming before chuckling, Emily intervened, “Well, that’s the kind of stuff you should be telling him, not us. As much as I enjoyed you two’s heart-to-heart talk, you should be saying those in front of him. I know it’s scary, and you have some doubts, but that’s how it is. But you should know that we’re not pushing you to failure.” 

Eyeing her questioningly, you followed her as she put the remaining dishes on the drying rack. “What do you mean by that?” 

“Hmmm? By what?” You could see Rossi smirking as you tried to pursue Emily. 

“You said you’re not pushing me to failure.” 

Looking back and straight at your eyes, “Look, it’s just that we sometimes notice things too. Even if we did say “no profiling” each other, just sometimes, you know, we can see that Hotch also looks at you.” 

“Do you mean like he looks at me the way I look at him, or he looks at me like he thinks I like him, or is he just looking at me because I’m weirding him out or-” 

“Okay, that’s enough cleaning for me, how about we go join the others now.” 

“What, you can’t just drop that info on me and leave, you- Rossi?” Staring at the older man, asking for help or any clarification at the bomb that just dropped on you. 

“No comment.” 

“But you also said-” 

“Hey guys, Em is already seated, so I came to pick you up! Come on, popcorn and movie are ready to go!” Penelope held your hand and dragged you to the seat next to her in the living room as she gave you another bowl of popcorn, smiling widely for your comfort. “Here are your share and your partner’s share. To divide the popcorn equally, Dr. Reid has weighed and advised us to pair so he can equally and easily divide the popcorn.” 

“Partner? Where did you even get a scale to weigh the popcorn?” 

“It’s better not to ask so we can start the movie now.” A new voice answered you from your right, making you shiver. 

“Hotchy, where did you go?” Garcia asked as Hotch took the seat to your right, which is beside you, which is very close to you— again. Oh-like really close, you can actually feel him-oh no. Pen dragged you so you would sit beside her and beside Hotch. 

“Just called Jack to say goodnight to him.” You can feel yourself shivering. Again. Why would Pen do that? Why is he your popcorn partner? Is Pen up to something? Is the team on it? Oh, but if you guys share popcorn, your hands would accidentally touch and- 

“Hey, you okay? You’ve been spacing out. Are you sure you’re okay to continue? If you need to rest, I can drive you home.” 

Why is he so caring and so close? Look at his eyes and- no, stop, answer him.

“Yeah, I’m awesome. Let’s watch!” I’m awesome? Who says that? How many times am I gonna embarrass myself in front of him? Wow, this night is just gonna go from bad to worst.

Pen picked a movie starring people and a dinosaur. There could be more you can describe in the film if you were actually watching it, but that only happens under normal circumstances. Now, however, you can only seem to focus on the man beside you. All of your senses seem to hyperfixate on him as you swallow your saliva for what appears to be the 12th time while thinking of a way how you can focus on the movie when the man you just admitted to two of your teammates that you like is sitting beside you. And it doesn’t help that every time he eats popcorn, he keeps offering it to you, and you stupidly keep accepting it. Maybe that’s the reason you keep swallowing? Water should fix that, right? It’s totally not because you can smell him so much that you keep fantasizing about him and swallowing your saliva; not at all. Just subtlety check for water and maybe catch your breath in the bathroom- 

“I know I keep asking you this tonight, but I’m gonna ask it again, are you alright?” No. When you’re this close to me and looking at me with those eyes and that face is just- oh- his lips look great like great kissable.

“Just parched, ya know, with all the popcorn and stuff.” No, no, no, no. Stop saying stuff, please. What stuff are you even talking about? 

“Okay, let me get you-” “Ahhhhh! He’s gonna eat him! That something saurus is gonna eat him!” 

“Babygirl, calm down. He’s one of the main characters. I’m sure he’s not going to die this early.” 

Looking at the screen and your teammates, you notice that everyone is engaged in the chase between a man and a dinosaur, while you’re the only one distracted and absorbed with Hotch. Shifting in your seat and examining the screen, you see a man running for his life, and you realize that it’s the most confusing moment of the day because you don’t know what the plot is about. So you stare at the man, try to root for him, and wish that he also doesn’t die because you don’t even know his character name yet. Sitting straighter and focusing on the film, you tell him to run faster in your mind, and when he doesn’t, you unconsciously clench your fists, irritated that the man seems to be running plainly without any plan. Forgetting the interaction and shame you felt earlier, you lose yourself in the movie’s events, annoyed at the continuous dumb decision the man keeps making. 

“Oh! Come on! He should’ve tried to hide behind all that big stupid rocks!” 

“Yeah-” voicing out your agreement with Pen, when suddenly another dinosaur joined the chase, you hold the first thing your hand came in contact with and tried to use it as a shield for your eyes when you felt cotton and immediately went to bury your face in it for comfort. But instead of being comforted, your forehead hurts now, and you find the cotton too sturdy- or rather hard? 

“It’s gone. You can look now, sweetheart. But I really don’t mind if you wanna use me again as an eye shield.” Your cotton said. Wait- grabbing what seems to be a mounted- oh, that’s a chest. Your hard cotton is Hotch, and he’s staring at you— warmly?

“And suddenly he can kill a dinosaur?” Hearing Pen’s voice took you out of your daydreaming state. You hurriedly let go of Hotch or rather Hotch’s chest and find yourself swallowing nothing again and trying to fix your hair, hoping it would get rid of the mix of shame and fluttery you’re feeling right now.  

Gazing at the tv with no thought, every event of what happened since you entered Rossi’s mansion seems to play in your head on repeat. You try to process everything that happened today and try to tie it with what Hotch just said to you. The events of this day seem to be overworking your brain as you can’t stop overthinking what Emily said. It doesn’t help that his last comment made your heart flutter and gave you a spur of confidence; maybe you could hint that you like him? Flirt with him a bit? Well, speaking realistically, it’s hard to do that to your boss, and oh, all the possibilities it could go wrong. Maybe it’s better to leave this matter be and ask for a girl’s night so you can plan better.

“I never knew you were interested in movie credits. Are you also planning on emailing the director some of your thoughts just like Garcia?” 

“Credits?” Your eyes widened, and as you looked at the screen, you saw the names of people rolling. 

“Yup, yeah, I think I have some thoughts for the next film.” Lies. You don’t even know what the movie really is about. Let’s just hope the no profiling rule doesn’t fail you now. 

“Well, should we go now so you can start with your email?” 

“Sure-wait, what about the others?” How could you only notice that now? The mess on the floor and couch are evident, but you can’t see o hear anyone. Even Rossi is nowhere to be seen. Did he go to his bed already? Oh no, they really planned something, didn’t they? The room seems to be void of people but you and Hotch only. 

“Morgan offered to drive Garcia and JJ while Reid and Prentiss went out talking about a Russian film.” Hotch quipped. 

“Oh, uhm, thanks for offering to drive me home.” You whispered, scared that your voice might betray you if you spoke any louder. 

As he stood up, you heard your heartbeat getting louder. Standing up to follow him to his car like you’ve been entranced. He waited for you at Rossi’s door, holding it open and smiling at you as he did earlier. Smiling at him to say thanks, you notice his expression mirroring you, yet the feeling of warmness spreads inside your chest like wildfire. Does he also perhaps feel the same when you smile at him? Is there a chance that he feels something for you? Something different than the comfort a friend or a coworker brings. 

“I know it’s just a 10-minute drive, so if you wanna go get anything, you can tell me. Jack is at Jess tonight, and I’ll be seeing them both tomorrow for Jack’s soccer game.” Nodding slowly, you try to think of a place you wanna go. But you don’t even like going out unless it’s necessary. Why would he even ask that of you? You try to fight the urge to ask him as you get seated in the passenger seat. But what if he’s the one who wants to go somewhere, and he’s deflecting the question to you? Maybe he wanna spend more time with you? 

“If you wanna pick a song, feel free to do so. But the choices might be limited to mine and Jack’s preference, so just don’t put them on shuffle.” He tells you as the car goes out of Rossi’s driveway. Driving to your home, he seems more relaxed while you get frustrated. Why are your thoughts suddenly getting bolder than the previous one? Why didn’t Em nor Pen tell you about how obvious you were? What does Hotch think of you? If he knows, why isn’t he saying anything? Does he think less of you? How could he look this good when he’s just driving? Does he also think of you the way you think of him? The sudden song change made you realize how fast you guys are going with almost no people on the streets, but most importantly, you realize that you haven’t said a thing since you’ve left Rossi’s house. 

As you see the silhouette of your house, your hands start fidgeting unconsciously as your mind can’ pick a topic to focus on. You continue to make up questions about almost everything. You try to think of ways to thank him properly and how to act without being odd about it. But most importantly, you can’t seem to decide whether to confess to him and possibly destroy the night and your life or just simply say thank you and leave things as it is. As the car slowly stops in front of your house, you take a deep breath and glance at him. 

Parking the car, he looked at you and smiled, “See you on Monday?” Opening your mouth to say yes and find the words to say what you’re feeling, you freeze as a part of your mind tells you to run inside to stop embarrassing yourself.

“Is there something that concerns you? You can tell me, you know, we’re out of the office now. I’m just Aaron right now.” Aaron. Ugh, how you wanna call him that. 

“No, nothing. I think I just need to sleep. Thanks for the ride, Hotch I-” 

“Aaron, you know you can call me Aaron, right?” Why would he say that while staring at you straight in the eye? This isn’t fair. Your heart is experiencing too much today; it might really explode. Why is he even looking at you like that? It’s like he wants to talk to you more. Stop. You’re reading too much about the situation. 

Flustered, you answer him, “Aaron, thank you for the ride.” 

“You’re welcome, and thank you for believing in me.” Confused, you look at him, waiting for an explanation at the sudden thanks. 

“Hmm?” 

“Uh, I know it isn’t right to eavesdrop in a conversation, but uh, thanks for believing that I’m doing good as a profiler and as a father.” 

Oh

Oh   

He meant that. 

Oh no 

Oh no 

There’s no way you can escape this situation now. You should’ve said thanks and ran. Now it’s too late. This is gonna go down as the worst night of your life. Oh no, no, no, I am not in the right mental capacity to be turned down. Oh! Say something first, ignore what he said- play dumb, say thanks- then run. 

“Hmm, I don’t know what you’re talking about. But thanks for the ride, Hotch.” Nice! Unfasten the seatbelt fast. Now escape! Yes- no, the door won’t open. Why is it not opening? 

“Right now, it’s Aaron. And no, I haven’t unlocked the door because I need you to listen to me. If I don’t do this now, I don’t know when I’ll get the courage to say this. So please, just— listen to me.” God, please don’t have the courage, I truly don’t, please help me, and I promise to be good. Cowering in your seat, you prepare your heart for the rejection while slowly turning to face him and the truth that will shatter all of your fantasies of him- and a possible relationship with him. 

“I’m not that incredible at all. I try my best to handle the team and be present at all times with Jack. But most of the time, I think I’m still lacking, and I don’t know how to fix that. I try my best to take it one step at a time, but I get frustrated when things don’t progress as I want.” That’s not the truth you were expecting. Why does he look so sad? That’s normal. Everyone’s like that. 

“I’m not that great. And I didn’t think I deserved your kind words— or any love anymore with everything.” No. False. That’s not the truth that you want him to believe and hold. Your heart aches, and the beating starts to continue, but now you feel a different frustration. Why would he think like that? Why doesn’t he realize how amazing he is? Why does he think he can decide what you deserve? 

And before you realize it, your body urged you to hold and kiss him. To stop his thoughts once and for all, to comfort him, and for you to state the obvious and your truth. You want him. You need him. And if he wants you too, he has you. Forever, if he would like. This is what you deserve, and his only option is to accept it. You channel all the frustration you felt into the kiss. Holding his cheeks with both hands, you feel him touch your right hand to tangle his hands with yours. Slowing the kiss yet deepening it, he holds your neck as he dominates the kiss, leaving you almost breathless yet yearning for more. But as he slows down and breaks it, his forehead lays softly against yours. It’s quite funny how your heart is now calm. Too calm compared to all the times you imagined yourself kissing him or just simply the idea of him. But it feels perfect, just right. And in that all-consuming kiss, you wished it rid him of all his fears and insecurities, as it did yours. 

Without saying anything, the both of you hold each other. Allowing yourselves to bask at the moment. But you’re greedy, or maybe overconfident at the moment. You want to see him and tell him how much he truly means to you, so you break the spell you both are in. Grasping his hands once again, you pick up the courage to say the words you’ve buried deep down. 

“I like you. I can’t tell you exactly how I feel because this is the first time I’ve felt strongly for someone. I like you for so many reasons but what you’ve heard is just the tip of it. I think you’re more than great, and with everything, you deserve to love the most. And it would make me the happiest if you give me a chance to do so.” Looking at him while pouring your heart out, you feel like a burden is lifted from you. 

Waiting for him to answer, you see him give a smile that makes your heart burst again. “It should be me saying that, but I’m glad we feel the same because I want you as well. Thank you for believing and liking me and giving me a chance.” 

You’re now sure you can hear your heartbeat with all the excitement you can’t contain. Tearing your hands away from him to engulf him in a hug, you feel both his arms hold your waist as one of your hands gently cupped his hair, one of your dreams come true. You feel him turn his head and kiss your cheek as he asks you, 

“Would you like to come to Jack’s game? I know it’s not an ideal first date, but we could see each other tomorrow and-” 

“Any date with you is an ideal one” Cutting him fast to face him once more as you smile at him, feeling your heart getting fuller if that’s even possible.   

You both stare at each other for a few more minutes, afraid to say goodbye and end your moment even if you’ll be seeing each other in a few hours. He starts, 

“I’ll pick you up later.” 

Smiling even wider, you answer him, “And I’ll be waiting. I’ll see you later, Aaron.” 

“I’ll see you later, sweetheart.” He answered as he kissed your hand goodbye and finally unlocked the car. Opening the door, you took one last look at him and kissed him on his cheek, “See you later.” 

Exiting the car, you wave him goodbye and walk to your door with an extra spring in your step. Taking out your keys, you turn and wave goodbye to him. Smiling at you and waving back, you take that as your cue to open the door and get inside, knowing that he won’t go unless he sees you inside. 

As you closed your door, your phone vibrated in your pocket. When you scoped it to see a text from him, Goodnight. Can’t wait to see you again. You text him a simple goodnight with an overly smiling emoji, knowing fully that you won’t even get a wink of sleep with the excitement you’re feeling right now, but you also tell him that the feelings are the same. As you open your window curtain, you see his car gets further, and with that, you hurry to your closet to plan for another day. Wishing that this feeling would also be part of a new routine that you have and share with him. Turns out, this night wasn’t so bad at all.   

Endnote | thank you for reading! i also have some more hotch fic that i would be posting and hopefully some more next so if you wanna chat do feel free to drop by! 

+ also that gif took me too long to make because i have no idea how to but i like that i got it done

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