#I don't know how i feel about the fact that i wrote this but what's done is done

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i the A-hole for trying to protect a women focused space?

I'm the mod from the super one sided retelling of the "Refusing to change OC's sexuality to bi/pan" situation. Shin (the person who wrote that post) know i don't use tumblr so of course he bring the drama here so that people would judge "Laura" and me without knowing the full truth. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine who followed this blog told me about this and was kind enough to allowed me to send this ask using her account.

First of all, it's pretty clear that Shin is lying about his identity. Shin said he is a trans man but he admitted that he don't want to transition beside wanting flat chest. Shin also said that he is south east asian but his display name and his OC's name are all japanese, which is a huge sign of white weeb fetishizing japanese culture. The fact that his english and understanding of slangs is way too good to be south east asian.

Secondly, Shin joining this server knowing that 90% of the members are yumejoshi, he should be grateful of the fact that we even allowed those yaoi characters invading what basically a space for women. I know we advertised the RP as a non-shipping focus death game story but you should have read the room and know what type of people this space is catering to and not bring your gay character in if you didn't want him to be shipped with women.

Thirdly, if Shin was uncomfortable then he should have made it clear from the start instead of letting "Laura"s character flirting with his, like having him respond rudely or out right rejecting her or something. Shin said he is having undiagnosed autism in his bio then he should have understand how it feel when people don't state what they mean clearly. His OC still being nice to "Laura"'s OC even if he didn't like the flirting, of course she would misunderstand that his OC developed romantic feeling for her OC.

Fourthly, Shin said before that he didn't count alternate timeline versions of a character from a visual novel he likes the same as the original timeline version because of their different life experiences then why can't he do the same to his OC? Why can't he just agree to let "Laura" make an alternate version of his character if in his logic they are completely different people? Hypocrite much?

And finally, "Laura" was very upset about this and it took her a while to move on, she could have hurt herself back then because of you. Also, we had to revised our server's rules and banned all the non-yumejoshies, which cut several RPs short.

So who is really the A-hole here?

#aita #am i the asshole #misgendering cw

[diazsdimples]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @dangerpronebuddie thanks friend!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

13! Will be 18 when I finish all my current wips (should be 19 but one has been abandoned 🥲)

What's your total ao3 word count?

230,841 words

What fandoms do you write for?

Exclusively 9-1-1, mostly because I deleted all my old British Actor RPF fics 😐

Top 5 fics by kudos:

1. Buck's Baby (By Accident) (Buddie)

2. For the rest of my life (for the rest of yours) (Buddie)

3. Sweet child of mine (Bucktommy)

4. In a drought I'll give you water (Buddie)

5. Fucking Finally (Finally Fucking) (Buddie)

Do you respond to comments?

Eventually 😬I try my best!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of my published fics have a shred of angst. However, Frostpunk AU is full of it so it'll be that

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them?? But probably Sweet child of mine or For the rest of my life (for the rest of yours) for hopeful endings

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? I did have one person get mad at me for events that transpire in Buck's Baby (By Accident) but idc really

Do you write smut?

No. Never. Smut is terrible.

(This is a blatant lie, 7/13 of my fics are smut and I have 3 wips that have smut)

Craziest crossover?

I don't write crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have, I'm gonna throw hands

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

Have you co-written a fic before?

Currently co-writing 2 with @hippolotamus and @theotherbuckley!

All time favorite ship?

Buddie. Always Buddie. Will always be Buddie. Followed closely by Bucktommy

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really hate to say this but probably my Single Dads AU. She's so beefy and the size of it has scared the hell out of me. As much as I love it, I don't think it gets as much traction as other wips and the beans just haven't been there.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don't know, I think I can write smut pretty well? And I'm not bad at cute stuff. The honest truth is I am extremely insecure about my writing abilities and think I'm average at best.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue as I often feel like I'm being too OOC. Also descriptions. I spend the most time sitting there thinking of how tf to describe something.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I can google translate pet names and that's where I draw the line. I don't want people to say that I'm saying stuff wrong.

First fandom you wrote in?

Marvel and Sherlock, at the same time.

Favorite fic you've written?

Play me like a fiddle is my labour of love and the fact that it flopped the way it did made me so sad. My next favourite would be You've got me whipped (Brat!Buck BDSM fic) cause it was so out of my comfort zone but I feel like I did it well, or In a drought I'll give you water because I have never been funnier in a fic than in this one.

Tagging (if you wanna): @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @watchyourbuck @bidisasterevankinard

@neverevan @aroeddiediaz @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg

@jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway @cal-daisies-and-briars @exhuastedpigeon

@kitteneddiediaz @thekristen999 @actuallyitsellie @loserdiaz @elvensorceress

@underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @smilingbuckley @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings

@thewolvesof1998

#james writes #20 questions #fic writer #author #911 fics #buddie fic #bucktommy fic #yes i am tagging both that's bc both ships feature here #do not come for me #buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 buddie #911 fanfic #eddie x buck #tommy kinard #tevan #kinkley #buck x tommy #bucktommy

[skaldish]

Till en viss det förstår jag personen som skickade hatet. Det är väldigt udda att se amerikaner... jag vet inte hur jag ska formulera det, men typ, ta en del av våran kultur och sprida den? Nu pratar jag inte bara om asatro, den båten har seglat, men vår folktro, vår historia, sägen, osv. Saker som känns mer hemligt, mer "vårt". Och visst, kultur är till för att delas, men... Det känns bara lite udda. Även om amerikanerna som "snor" har nån random gammal släkting som är härifrån trakterna. Lite "gammelmormor var en indiansk prinsessa" vibes haha 😂

Nu säger jag det här bara för att visa att det finns skandinaver som har liknande syn som den som skickade den tidigare asken, dock så följer vi kanske sig och tycker att din syn på saker kan vara intressant. Dessutom verkar du vara duktig på att leta reda på saker som kanske inte är så vidspridda här heller, även om du kanske ibland feltolkar delar av vår kultur.

Så detta är inget hatbrev, det är ett "jag förstår varför den tidigare personen skrev som den gjorde, och jag vill ge en snällare förklaring". Typ. Om det makes sense.

God dag! 😁

To a certain extent, I understand the person who sent the hate. It's very odd to see Americans… I don't know how to put it, but like, take a part of our culture and spread it? Now I'm not just talking about Ásatrú, that boat has sailed, but our folk beliefs, our history, legends, etc. Things that feel more secret, more "ours". And sure, culture is meant to be shared, but… It just feels a bit odd. Even if the Americans who "steal" have some random old relative who is from around here. A little "great grandmother was a Native American princess" vibes haha 😂 Now I say this just to show that there are Scandinavians who have similar views as the one who sent the previous box, however, we may follow you and find your view of things interesting. Also, you seem to be good at finding out things that may not be so widespread here either, although you may sometimes misinterpret parts of our culture. So this isn't a hate mail, it's a "I understand why the previous person wrote the way they did, and I want to give a kinder explanation". Sort of. If that makes sense. Good day to you! 😁

Nah, I understand completely. And I know the image you're seeing of American Heathenry looks batshit. It looks batshit for me too—but that's because I understand it's a fairy-tale and it's always looked like one to me.

I think that's something important to keep in mind here, though. The Heathenry you see in America is manufactured for us, mostly by American companies, orgs, and snake-oil salesmen for the purpose of their own agendas. Whatever these actors can snag from the Nordic countries that makes their fairy tale look more real, they do.

One of the things this fairy-tale tells us is that "Heathenry died off with the vikings a long time ago, so it's up to us to return to our ancient roots to restore it." Often when I bring up your culture, it's to illustrate that this is bullshit, and that your current culture matters when it comes to how we Americans understand Heathenry. (I'm also trying to compare cultural senses to illustrate the differences.)

But if I'm blatantly getting something wrong or being insensitive about something in this process, you are more than free to tell me.

What I don't appreciate is when people are just angry that I exist and want me to take responsibility for the fact they feel angry about my existence. The fact the other person didn't return to explain what the actual problem I was causing was, tells me they just wanted a punching bag.

I understand getting angry about Americans taking what's "yours" without a care—and I agree it's a problem—but getting angry at Americans doesn't solve this problem. It's certainly won't get the tens of thousands of American Heathens to stop being Heathen. A better approach would be to just help us get better educated about it.

#answered

[quitealotofsodapop]

That's not forgetting the fact MK was also in big trouble.

Wukong: 1300 years, Macaque! We have been married, officially, for over 1300 years! What in Newa's name would compelling you to look me in the eye and lie to my face about this!? For over a year!

Macaque: I-I know, but Peaches this was important! I promise, I promise I was only trying to protect you and our cubs!

Wukong: FAT LOAD OF GOOD THAT DID! We all got dragged into it anyway, Liu'er! Xiaotian was searching for you every day, getting into fights with demons and celestials alike to figure out where you went! Our powers are gone, we're being chased across all of China and beyond while our home is a literal icicle, and the Lady Bone Demon has Ringu Jingu Bang! How is this protecting us!?

Tang, whispering to MK: Is... is this the famous temper that once gave Sun Wukong the reputation of being capable of cowing even the great Li Jing!?

MK nods mutely: I heard the story. Apparently, I was there, just not born yet.

Small cute headcanon, but I headcanon that Tripitaka had officiated Wukong and Macaque's official wedding in JTTW Stone Egg au

referencing. Hehe I love all of this

Macaque: "Are son was getting into fights!?... did he win?" Wukong: "OF COURSE HE WON! HE'S OUR SON! DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!" The Noodle Shop Gang: (*keeping a safe distance*) Tang, whispering jokingly: "Oh my gosh. Flashback to the Golden Pouch Mountain, am I right?" Nezha, with a thousand-yard stare: "Yeah, Macaque is not in Sun Wukong's good graces at the moment. I stll remember having to hoist him up so that he could look my father in the eye while he screamed." Tang, fascinated: "I... I was just joking but omg. He had you lift him up? Thats so cute!" Nezha: "Yeah, I wasn't about to argue with a hormonal expectant monkey. The only reason that anger wasn't directed at me was because he saw me as a cub to protect. My father crumbled like a stone pillar after the first five minutes." MK, laughing nervously: "I was there! Just an Egg though." The Noodle Shop Gang: (*realising just how old MK is*) "wut"

And oh gosh the legendary "Shouting at General Li Jing for the Rhino King incident". I love the idea of historians jotting that down and forgetting the context of why Sun Wukong was so furious at the Pagoda King.

I feel like Macaque deliberately struck himself out of many records to keep his and MK's presence a secret from mortal eyes and ears. But some people (esp demon historians) still wrote down that the Monkey King had a super-protective-adoring mate during his Journey to the West.

Basically most of Macaque's reunion + MK's reveal to his mom/baba that he's been secretly a superhero is Wukong yelling at them for hours from worry.

#post jttw stone egged au #jttw stone egged au #stone egg talk #shadowpeach #sun wukong #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #lmk mk #qi xiaotian #lmk tang #lmk nezha #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk aus #pregnancy tw

[yjhzies]

“You first.” — Hong Joshua

Genre: fluffffff <3 Warning: work stress (to reader) Pairings: joshua x gn!(?)reader (not sure, wrote this long ago 🥰) Word count: 0.6k

You look in the mirror as you close the face cream's lid. As your fingers trace across your lips, you notice how dry they have become. With a sigh, you reach for the drawer, where your lip balm should be, but it's not. You look everywhere for it, only to be disappointed when you can't find it. It eventually gets on your nerves. Was the excessive amount of work you did this week not enough to drive you insane? You're not usually like this. You're never like this.

"Looking for something?" a voice asked as you pushed the drawer closed. Your gaze followed the voice, eventually revealing Joshua. You nod, sighing to soothe yourself. "Lip balm," you pause and lean against the wall. "Have you seen it?" you add. You let out another sigh as Joshua shook his head.

Yeah, it was just a lipbalm, but it just... just frustrates you. So much. Was it a result of working too much? Stress? Exhaustion? No idea. But Joshua's presence did, however, at least somewhat ease the annoyance you were feeling. You shut your eyes, allowing the frustration that was building inside of you to subside.

And that didn't go unnoticed by Joshua. After approaching the bed and putting the blanket over the two of you, Joshua gave you a forehead kiss. A gentle, comforting one. You held his hands as you rested your head on his chest.

"I can't remember where I put it." you mumbled. Joshua lifted up your chin to meet his gaze. Having put on lip balm after practice, his lips were gleaming. Without warning, he shot you a silly smile and smashed his lips against yours, leaving your lips glowing with the lip balm as well.

"There," he smiled. "you don't need a lip balm anymore." he added, giggling. You raised your brows as you looked at him. That was definitely unexpected, especially given how sudden it was. When Shua noticed your pink cheeks, he smiled broadly, proud of himself that he was able to make you smile. Being the cute person that he is, he never fails to make you blush.

"That was... sudden," you muttered, unable to contain your smile, as you rubbed the side of your lip and looked away. "It is a win-win; you got lip balm on your lips and I also stole a kiss." Shua chuckled. And there you were, flashing that foolish smile. Just what Joshua wanted. Wrapping his arms around you, Joshua caressed your hair.

"Is there anything you want talk about?" his voice calm as he asked you. You take a deep breath before replying, "It's just about work," you pause. "nothing much, but I always need to be there for everything... plan things, lead the workers-" you sighed, unable to continue your sentence.

"I know it's easier said than done," Joshua paused, loosening his grip on you. "you should take a break, please." he added. You look at him, unsure of how to respond. "Please?" With a whispery voice, Joshua pleaded as he tightened his grip around you. Sighing, you nod your head as you smile. "Okay... It's not a bad idea." you spoke, earning a giggle from him.

You haven't taken a single break throughout the entire year, so he was correct after all. It would not hurt to take a little break because your business was currently operating smoothly. In fact, it was really good.

Joshua held you close the whole night, reassuring you that it was normal to mess up things or stress out sometimes. But that doesn't mean you'll not give yourself time and become workaholic.

"You should always put yourself first before anything else." Joshua spoke, running a hand over your hair as the moon shone brightly through the window's slightly open pane. "I'm an exception, though. I put you first before anything else." With a smile on his lips, he added.

You smiled and replied, "Fair enough, I also put you first." earning a kiss from Joshua.

#svt fluff #svt x reader #fluff #seventeen #established relationship #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #romantic fluff #oneshot #joshua fluff #joshua x reader #joshua #hong joshua

[mikakissiekiss]

one underrated thing that I feel like I haven't seen people mention in all of this is getting a lil sheet with their handwriting 😭 Am I just crazy? I love that kind of stuff!

Some thoughts on that below if you're interested or want to see it idk

I'm no analyzer or anything, but look at Leo's! I love how his handwriting is just a bit... messy? It's still written very clearly and legible but just kinda looks like he writes fast. I mean, he probably does 😅 And I love that it goes out of the box sometimes just on the edges! I really like how he writes his 5's also but that's mostly just cuz that's how mine look

Mao's looks a lot more straight by comparison! I like that he starts the lines in the last three boxes on the left edge (notice how Leo started sorta in the middle) and how he wrote his birthday with the month and day characters instead of only numbers. And his writing seems a bit smaller too. I feel like it obviously makes sense for him to be a bit neater

With the newer characters it's a bit harder cuz we don't really know them yet, but I feel like what we have is enough to kinda guess (on some of them, at least) I'm not too sure about Esu, but his cute compass drawing?? He kinda writes like Mao but his letters are a lot more crammed and less neat

For Ibuki though, I feel like this says a lot! The thick marker? Big writing, and he goes out of the box quite a bit. I also didn't realize he wrote "smile" at the top, I couldn't read it at first 😅. Based on this I'd say he seems really bold and confident (he gave those vibes away just by how he looks tho) Also I love his lil star in his signature, so cute!

Kanna is (as we already know) very neat! His handwriting looks so nice. Good spacing, straight lines. It looks pretty fancy. I also think it's fun that he also has a thicker pen/marker, I don't know what that says about him but his writing definitely looks really nice

And Yume's is so cute!! The round letters, and so many hearts 💕 His signature is so fun! And look at how many hashtags he put in the box. I can't wait to read his stories, the fact that he's a cosplayer is fun, I hope his stories talk more about what he likes to cosplay

And Raika's!! I love the way his letters trail off a bit at times and get kinda stuck together. And it looks like he wrote kinda smaller and more cramped to fit in the box more. Again, idrk what that means for him but I'm excited to see what he'll be like! He seems a bit self-conscious to me but I can't really tell yet.

#ensemble stars #enstars #mao isara #leo tsukinaga #esu sagiri #ibuki taki #kanna natsu #fuyume hanamura #raika hojo

[karenandhenwillson]

Fandom and Ships

In the last couple of weeks, we have seen the number of fics in the Bucktommy tag skyrocket. Which is pretty exciting and amazing and a clear sign of how very excited the fandom is about this development. But of course there is also backlash, mostly from people who suddenly see their preferred ship in danger. (Honestly, when has a canon ship ever stopped fandom from shipping the people involved with other people instead?)

It's expected that some Buddie fans are disappointed. It's also expected that they would lash out (though, I had hoped people could for once remember there are adults and just because everyone is anonymous in online spaces doesn't mean there aren't people sitting behind those keyboards getting hurt by baseless accusation of racism and other things). I should probably not be surprised they are now also using the low engagement we have always seen with Henren as a weapon.

So, let's talk about fandom and ships.

There is no question that there has since season 2 always been the most engagement with Buddie content in this fandom as a whole. People saw the chemistry between Buck and Eddie and ran with it. Compared to that, the canon couples have all barely any content.

But if you look at any fandom at any point in time, there is a clear pattern between canon and fanon ships. There are only very few select fandoms where canon couples ever got a lot of engagement. Of the various fandoms I've been part of, I can only think of one at the top of my head.

I think the reasons are pretty simple. 

First of all, the fans get that couple on their screen pretty regularly. They don't have to wish and hope for it, don't have to search for the little details that will validate their headcanon. They don't have to go into fandom spaces to find content for that ship. They can just lean back without any kind of effort and enjoy this ship right on their screen.

And then second, those who do create fan content for those canon ships have to balance a very fine line. What of the canon facts will they dare to contradict to create their own content in fanfiction? (Fanart, videos, gif-sets are probably a little easier there.) Where and when do they deviate from canon? Is there even anything they feel is missing from canon that they want to see in fan work? Do they want to risk contradicting anything that will be established in canon later on? Usually, this conundrum leads mostly to short fics about missing scenes, but nothing truly epic. At least not as long as the there is new source material fairly regularly.

People creating content for purely fanon ships don't need to bother with most of those questions. Because they are deviating from canon anyway. It doesn't matter much then how far they go with that. Everything canon that comes later will just be dismissed with a shrug. Everything canon that happened previously and they don't like can be dismissed just as easily because they are already dismissing parts of it.

Then there is a clear divide between hetero, maleslash and femslash content, no matter if canon or fanon. There are probably people much better suited to get into the gritty little details about that. I'll just share some thoughts I have about any of those ships in this fandom because of my experience as a fanfiction author.

I've always been writing and telling stories. And I started writing fanfiction pretty early on, too, because I found a lot of freedom there in the content and relationships I could explore. Looking back, I've always mostly written maleslash. But I've also always had hetero and femslash pairs in my works. Have had works that focus solely on those pairs.

I know as a teenager I wrote mostly maleslash because I just got a lot of engagement for that. And back then that was a great motivator to publish my fanfiction. It's not my motivation to publish now anymore and it's never been my motivation to write at all. So there are some stories about hetero or femslash couples on my hard drive that I just never published back then.

For 9-1-1, I've been writing many of the ships there are. More than once I focused on characters who don't get much attention otherwise, not even in canon. I have some femslash stories published, most of them Henren. They don't get many klicks. And the comments I get are from friends I actively talk to very often who just read about anything I publish. Or from some very dedicated readers who I seem to have enamored enough with my writing that they'll follow me into pretty much any rabbit hole, I think.

I like Buck and Eddie a lot as characters. I adore Christopher. So, I enjoy creating for them a lot. But I also enjoy creating for the other characters and I'm scratching that itch regularly. But no matter the reason for why I write (because the stories are just in my head and the only way to get them out is to write them down), sharing what I create is more fun when I'm finding engagement over it. So, there are stories that are outlined or even fully written who I'll maybe never publish.

Where were all those Buddie fans in the past who now complain about the missing content for Henren? Where was their support for those who have written Henren all along only to be practically talking into a void? (Right, just as it was never about queer representation for some people, it was never about Henren either. No matter what they say now. They are just searching for the next thing the mob might be latch onto so they can pretend they are right.)

#911 abc #bucktommy #henren

[slashmagpie]

spotify wrapped-77?

Send me a number 1-100 and i will try to write a short fic based off whatever song that corresponds to in my spotify wrapped replay 2023!

“Oh, hello.”

The newcomer blinks. One ear twitches. Ren turns towards her, eyes wide, startled. 

“Lizzie?”

“It’s good to see you again,” says Lizzie, and she’s only a little facetious, only a little bitter.

“Where… are we?” Ren looks around. It’s dark. The void stretches on and on forever, flecked with specks of light.

“Dead,” says Lizzie dully.

“Oh.” He blinks, rubbing at his head. “I don’t know what happened, I was—I was Tango, for a bit, I think? And now—oh. Oh, I feel sick.”

“Yeah, it’ll do that to you,” she says, flicking a nail. “How’ve you been, Ren? I haven’t seen you in a while.” She stares at him through narrow eyes.

“I haven’t seen you either, my Queen,” he says with a bow. “It’s been far too long.”

She snorts. Hugs her knees to her chest. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“What did I do?”

“My Queen,” she echoes, mocking. 

“Well.” Ren hesitates. “You were.”

“Not anymore.” She reaches up, swipes her wrist across her eye. She’s not crying anymore, though. There are no tears to wipe away. It just burns. “Now I’m dead!”

“Are you okay?” Ren asks.

She laughs. “I died. It wasn’t even for my task! It wasn’t even cool! I just—I looked at an enderman—why wasn’t I wearing a bloody pumpkin?! I spent so long trying to convince Cleo to wear a pumpkin, and then I—agh. It was embarrassing. I’m an embarrassment.” She buries her face in her knees. “Don’t look at me.”

Ren is quiet. She thinks, for a moment, that he’s moved away, but then there’s a hand in her hair, and a voice saying, “I don’t think you’re an embarrassment, my Queen.”

She snorts. “Everyone else does,” she says lowly. “I died before Jimmy. Do you know how embarrassing it is to die before Jimmy? Everyone says he’s cursed! I’m just—I’m just—incompetent. And nobody even cared.”

“I care,” Ren says softly.

“You’re dead too.” She scowls into her skirt. “You weren’t even really alive.” 

“...That doesn’t mean I don’t care.” 

“You didn’t.”

“What?”

“Last time—Last Life—you—you didn’t want me anymore. And then I died. And this time—I was alone again. I thought I worked better alone. Certainly worked better than all that nonsense with the Fairy Fort. But—here I am again! Dead!” She laughs. “Stupid game. I shouldn’t have played.”

“I know the feeling, my friend.” He settles down, sitting beside her with a sigh. “It’s okay. You don’t have to play again if you don’t want to. God knows I don’t.”

She steals a sideways glance at him. “How come?”

He grimaces. “Do you know how I died last time?”

“No.”

“Grian dropped dripstone on my head. I didn’t even see it coming. It was—it was a one in a million chance, my dude, the luckiest shot in the world, and he made it. Everyone thought it was so cool. Nobody thought that it was sad that I was dead. Well, except for Grian, who thought it was sad that BigB died because of me.”

Lizzie tilts her head to the side. Peers up at him. “That must be pretty embarrassing for you, huh,” she says.

His ears flick back against his head as he sags. “So embarrassing.”

“Well…” She straightens up a little. Rubs at her eyes again. Says, “I suppose if someone must see me in such a state, it should be someone who’s just as pathetic as me.” Offers him a small smile.

“Aye, my Lady,” he says with a laugh. “What a pathetic pair we make.”

#magpie feather quill #secret life #fanfiction #spoilers #fun fact this song is on my rewind because it's the namesake of an E1!Gem wip i have in my drafts #so it was a challenge to come up with a different idea #in the end i landed on SL!Lizzie because i've been thinking about her a lot #i don't know if this is anything. i don't know if this is good. i'm very tired but it sure is something. #feel sad about lizzie with me everyone #(i've been trying but i get it wrong / i've been something of a revelation / i just don't know what i want / and i've been something of a #loser these days / i've been nothing like my father these days / i've been something of a liar these days / i am okay / [...] #/ the good thing in all of this / is being irrelevant / [...] / the good thing in all of this / is having a friend in it / come tell me how #it is / and how it's been) #< the lyrics that i was focusing on as i wrote this. also the lyrics that make me want to eat glass.

[fancy-marshmallow]

thinking about the duality of twelfth night and hamlet this evening ...

#I saw a post about this one time that's where it comes from #but :( I don't remember where :( #if anyone knows what I'm talking about. and could send it to me. that would be super cool but ! #I can also just go really deep into the twelfth night tag and find it I imagine #anyway. no one I know believes me about this at all in fact! #most of the people I know won't even admit the real melancholy twelfth night has got going on but like. #sorry it's. literally about Hamnet and his twin sister #it's a play that shakespeare wrote about his own grief!! and his family's grief!!! and you can see it you can feel it you can smell it #both plays reek of grief and its like. idk. #like those plays make me understand how you can learn things from reading shakespeare besides just 'wow this guy did not like women really' #anyway. I'm going to bed now (it is not a time I should be going to bed) #fancy thoughts

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

me accidentally watching The Die Is Cast for the first time on the day of the Succession finale 🤝 me accidentally rewatching The Wire on Father's Day

#and only remembering this fact now but still posting it cause srsly what were the odds #WELL. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WITH FATHERS. #Listen to me. I need to know whether the writers knew Garak Tain and Mila's whole Situation when they wrote The Die Is Cast #or whether they just invented that later. it's driving me insane. can't tell which would be more completely insane. #Starky's Original Posts #this post is nothing just an excuse to think about garak 26/7. as if I needed one. #Logan Succession wishes he had the power over his children that that stupid horrible old lizard asshole has over Garak #there is a special kind of horror you can only feel when you watch The Die Is Cast for the first time #when you don't know what will happen in the episode #but you do know the secret of how these three people are related #worst possible way to watch it. 100/10 would recommend. #Star Trek: Deep Space 9 #I am so afraid we will see Mila again in a future episode #I am so afraid we will not #either way! what agony!

[oveliagirlhaditright]

They have Shotlocks in Final Fantasy XVI? Well, I'm a lot more excited about FFXVI's gameplay now. And maybe FFXVI as a whole.

#like. don't get me wrong. the ffxvi story looks amazing and if all goes well i feel like it should be one of the best ff stories ever. #maybe even the best. (though i also felt that way based on ffxv trailers and we all know how that turned out. though hopefully ffxvi won't #be that way. if for no other reason than the fact that that game wasn't riddled with so many development problems and wasn't in development #hell for ten years). but part of me is kind of worried ffxvi is too serious for an ff and i don't know how to feel about that #but the other part of me is like 'shut up and enjoy the game for what it is. that might be--again--one of the best stories the series has #ever seen' #*too serious and too mature. in pretty much being the game of thrones of final fantasy it seems like #though hopefully better than game of thrones' ending of course. but i don't think they'll do anything that dumb #especially with how good ffxiv is. and that's by the same director #don't get me wrong (i feel some of what i wrote here might be very misleading) : i AM VERY much looking forward to ffxvi

[jewishvitya]

A pro-Palestine Jew on tiktok asked those of us who were raised pro-Israel, what got us to change our minds on Palestine. I made a video to answer (with my voice, not my face), and a few people watched it and found some value in it. I'm putting this here too. I communicate through text better than voice.

So I feel repetitive for saying this at this point, but I grew up in the West Bank settlements. I wrote this post to give an example of the extent to which Palestinians are dehumanized there.

Where I live now, I meet Palestinians in day to day life. Israeli Arab citizens living their lives. In the West Bank, it was nothing like that. Over there, I only saw them through the electric fence, and the hostility between us and Palestinians was tangible.

When you're a child being brought into the situation, you don't experience the context, you don't experience the history, you don't know why they're hostile to you. You just feel "these people hate me, they don't want me to exist." And that bubble was my reality. So when I was taught in school that everything we did was in self defense, that our military is special and uniquely ethical because it's the only defensive military in the world - that made sense to me. It slotted neatly into the reality I knew.

One of the first things to burst the bubble for me was when I spoke to an old Israeli man and he was talking about his trauma from battle. I don't remember what he said, but it hit me wrong. It conflicted with the history as I understood it. So I was a bit desperate to make it make sense again, and I said, "But everything we did was in self defense, right?"

He kinda looked at me, couldn't understand at all why I was upset, and he went, "We destroyed whole villages. Of course we did. It was war, that's what you do."

And that casual "of course" stuck with me. I had to look into it more.

I couldn't look at more accurate history, and not at accounts by Palestinians, I was too primed against these sources to trust them. The community I grew up in had an anti-intellectual element to it where scholars weren't trusted about things like this.

So what really solidified this for me, was seeing Palestinian culture.

Because part of the story that Israel tells us to justify everything, is that Palestinians are not a distinct group of people, they're just Arabs. They belong to the nations around us. They insist on being here because they want to deny us a homeland. The Palestinian identity exists to hurt us. This, because the idea of displacing them and taking over their lands doesn't sound like stealing, if this was never theirs and they're only pretending because they want to deprive us.

But then foods, dances, clothing, embroidery, the Palestinian dialect. These things are history. They don't pop into existence just because you hate Jews and they're trying to move here. How gorgeous is the Palestinian thobe? How stunning is tatreez in general? And when I saw specific patterns belonging to different regions of Palestine?

All of these painted for me a rich shared life of a group of people, and countered the narrative that the Palestininian identity was fabricated to hurt us. It taught me that, whatever we call them, whatever they call themselves, they have a history in this land, they have a right to it, they have a connection to it that we can't override with our own.

I started having conversations with leftist friends. Confronting the fact that the borders of the occupied territories are arbitrary and every Israeli city was taken from them. In one of those conversations, I was encouraged to rethink how I imagine peace.

This also goes back to schooling. Because they drilled into us, we're the ones who want peace, they're the ones who keep fighting, they're just so dedicated to death and killing and they won't leave us alone.

In high school, we had a stadium event with a speaker who was telling us about a person who defected from Hamas, converted to Christianity and became a Shin Bet agent. Pretty sure you can read this in the book "Son of Hamas." A lot of my friends read the book, I didn't read it, I only know what I was told in that lecture. I guess they couldn't risk us missing out on the indoctrination if we chose not to read it.

One of the things they told us was how he thought, we've been fighting with them for so long, Israelis must have a culture around the glorification of violence. And he looked for that in music. He looked for songs about war. And for a while he just couldn't find any, but when he did, he translated it more fully, and he found out the song was about an end to wars. And this, according to the story as I was told it, was one of the things that convinced him. If you know know the current trending Israeli "war anthem," you know this flimsy reasoning doesn't work.

Back then, my friend encouraged me to think more critically about how we as Israelis envision peace, as the absence of resistance. And how self-centered it is. They can be suffering under our occupation, but as long as it doesn't reach us, that's called peace. So of course we want it and they don't.

Unless we're willing to work to change the situation entirely, our calls for peace are just "please stop fighting back against the harm we cause you."

In this video, Shlomo Yitzchak shares how he changed his mind. His story is much more interesting than mine, and he's much more eloquent telling it. He mentions how he was taught to fear Palestinians. An automatic thought, "If I go with you, you'll kill me." I was taught this too. I was taught that, if I'm in a taxi, I should be looking at the driver's name. And if that name is Arab, I should watch the road and the route he's taking, to be prepared in case he wants to take me somewhere to kill me. Just a random person trying to work. For years it stayed a habit, I'd automatically look at the driver's name. Even after knowing that I want to align myself with liberation, justice, and equality. It was a process of unlearning.

On October, not long after the current escalation of violence, I had to take a taxi again. A Jewish driver stopped and told me he'll take me, "so an Arab doesn't get you." Israeli Jews are so comfortable saying things like this to each other. My neighbors discussed a Palestinian employee, with one saying "We should tell him not to come anymore, that we want to hire a Jew." The second answered, "No, he'll say it's discrimination," like it would be so ridiculous of him. And the first just shrugged, "So we don't have to tell him why." They didn't go through with it, but they were so casual about this conversation.

In the Torah, we're told to treat those who are foreign to us well, because we know what it's like to be the foreigner. Fighting back against oppression is the natural human thing to do. We know it because we lived it. And as soon as I looked at things from this angle, it wasn't really a choice of what to support.

#riki babbles #I had this in my drafts for ages and I was like 'not the time' but a friend encouraged me to share so here it is #palestine

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[eoinmcgonigal]

caught in that horrible place of wanting to write and post stuff, but being so disheartened and upset because what's the point if no one comments? i take the time to put the stories and ideas in my head into words so that i can share them and talk about them with other people! i'm oldschool about this and make no apologies for being so. fandom was built on comments and interacting with each other - on communicating and creating a sense of community. i cannot keep creating in such utter isolation. i'm not a machine. i'm lonely. i want to connect with people over things with both love and enjoy!

to be clear, this isn't a 'you must always comment if you read something' because that's utterly deranged and unrealistic. i'm just begging anyone who sees this to, if they can (if! because i struggle to comment too!), take a few moments to let an author know 'hey i was here and this made me feel things!'. even a little something back is so, so much better than putting some of my hard work out there and hearing nothing in return. i do not feel inspired to keep writing right now. it makes me so sad having all these things i want to talk about and write and share, but no one seems to be interested in engaging, so the thing that brings me joy remains a quiet, unspoken thing withering inside me

fandom has changed a lot over the last few years, and i wish i could say it was for the better, but it's not. this whole click and move on social media attitude is really soul-destroying. likes/kudos/reactions aren't the same as words (or emoji or gifs or whatever your preferred method of yelling in the comments is). a single click serves a purpose but can never replace the value of human interaction

the thing is, i don't post fic and immediately rush on to the next thing, never to look back. i like looking back! i like pausing in my day to reminisce on that fic i wrote, and i smile the whole way through my entire being when someone leaves a nice comment and i get a chance to say 'thank you, i love this story too' and think about the fic again. i'm cultivating a little garden of stories with all the love and care i have to give each of them, and i want them to grow, not be trodden underfoot as people rush to consume the next thing

#document type: medical report #look just please... human interaction... i'm desperate #i want to talk to people! #i met my best friend and now sibling almost 10 years ago because she was a repeat commenter on a good many of my fics #i know i've barely started writing again but i just cannot keep going if everyone is so damn afraid to comment #i also invite you to consider what talking about fics in servers and (if anyone still uses it) on twitter means #because for a start does the author ever see those conversations? #and secondly are they in any way preserved or do they end up buried by the next topic of conversation/feed refresh? #look look we gotta fuckin anchor this shit down #stop lobbing stones into the ocean and instead we can build little cairns that aren't lost to the tides #i joined a server a few years ago and people went NUTS when they found out my ao3 because they loved my fic #and i had LITERALLY NO IDEA because i would only get one or maybe two comments on a fic #so to discover that whole conversations were happening about my work... it was surreal and just... no one thought to actually talk to *me*? #to the person who wrote the stuff?? #how are we supposed to know anybody is out there and wants to see more of our writing? #also as someone with adhd and self-confidence issues the fact ao3 comments STAY THERE and i even get an email!! is perfection #the comment doesn't disappear and i know where i can find it #and when i go to look at a fic (yes i read my own fic now and then) i see the comment count (even 1) and feel happy that someone enjoyed it #that i'm not alone #also just in case a certain friend who i know liked the last fic reads this and the tags: i don't want you to be burdened by any sense of #obligation to comment on any of my stuff #that is the absolute last thing i want - i just wish commenting was still more of a norm #also please absolutely no one ever read my stuff with the sole intention of commenting #read for the story. keysmash if you have the spoons to and want let me know you liked the words i left lying around for people to discover #ugh okay i'll stop now but wow not to be old but i hate right-this-moment-only social media click-and-move-on disposable bullshit #make your mark darlings #leave a trace #we're only here once #(itf fic will probably be updated at some point - i save comments as encouragement so only reply on wips when i post the next chapter)

[yo-yoringle]

Neil Newbon on Ascended Astarion

Neil: I do love the fact that I got to create kind of two characters in one.

Blue Owl Medic: I was just thinking that. Yeah, you did.

Neil: So now that the game has come out and the whole thing, we can talk a little bit more freely about the game. No real spoilers, folks, because obviously people are still playing through it, which is amazing, including me. But there is an ascended Astarion, which people probably know, as well as an unascended Astarion. I'm not going to go into details of why, although it is all over the internet, but anyway.

But one of the fun things that I got to do with the directors and the writer as well, with Stephen, and also the other writers that contributed towards Astarion, [is that they] wrote this ascended storyline. And so, when I came across that, I realized that 'Oh, his voice probably changes as well, because his whole status changes and his whole situation changes and his power changes.' So I got to do something else, because that would also be an easy way to switch between one and the other.

And so I decided that, well, I've always talked about Astarion being very theatrical. So what if Astarion's unascended spawn is theatrical, and ascended Astarion is operatic, and I use that as a sort of launchpad. So that one is theatre, one is opera. So the two are the same kind of things, but essentially… Do you know what I mean? It's like that kind of thing.

I offered that up to the directors and they really liked it. Kirsty Gilmore was the first person who I tried it with. I think it was Kirsty Gilmore, who is an amazing director. I'm pretty sure it was her session I did the first Lord Astarion and we set the tone there. And that was really cool.

BOM: And I don't know if that was your choice, but he also holds himself differently.

Neil: Yes, he does, he definitely holds himself differently.

BOM: He stands way more upright, his chest is a little more out

Neil: Yes, that's status. That's all Laban work. We're just using completely different status shift changes as well. So whereas he has a lot of flow and all that kind of stuff and it's theatrical and distracting--it's always 'look over here and don't see how I really feel' with spawn Astarion.

With Lord Astarion, we talked a lot about the idea that the cover is now off completely. So that you see him at his most terrible, and it's completely honest and he doesn't have to pretend anymore. So he loses a lot of the flamboyance and the fun of the theatricality, which is all a distraction anyway. That's all distraction so you don't see how he's hurt and damaged and his vulnerability. Lord Astarion doesn't need that anymore. So we just thought, okay, now *mimics taking off a mask* it's off. He doesn't need to pretend, he doesn't need to do too much. It's all about the status and that kind of stuff.

It was a really fun experience to take a character I've been doing for a long time and then flip it. And that was, again, brilliant writing by Larian, brilliant storytelling by them all and brilliant ideas. So yeah, it was really fun.

--from Neil's February 1, 2024 twitch stream

#astarion #ascended astarion #lord astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #neil newbon

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.

1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.

2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.

So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.

Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.

He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.

Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.

Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.

I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.

He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.

I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.

OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.

Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world

PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox

Original post

#aita #am i the asshole #aita update #the saga of proposal anon