#I don't actually know what a pixie cut is I just know it's very short. so ig this works

[lunejump]

I got rosie on my island on my first nook miles ticket and I am very happy about it. so rosie and a little human rosie + my acnh self (chaos monster)

me and rosie loml.

#acnh #acnh rosie #ac rosie #acnh community #acnh art #animal crossing #my girl rosie deserves a little pixie cut #I don't actually know what a pixie cut is I just know it's very short. so ig this works #the white at the top of her hair is like. as a throwback to the top of her ears being white #like her hair is dyed maybe? gradient style #also this doesn't entirely look like my acnh self obv. but like I drew this without a ref lol. #I love the long messy hair style it's amazing loml #lunart

[lollipopliccer]

𝔄 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔣𝔢𝔩𝔱 𝔰𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔢 ❦

❦ warning lollipop chaos ahead! proceed with caution… ❦ light angst , happy ending , ex getō suguru , tattoo artist suguru , set in a tattoo parlour , soft dom geto , praise , cunnilingus , masochism , light sadism & impact play , ig semi public and i guessss office sex

the descriptions of this tattoo experience is not accurate, i dunno shit abt tattoos (even tho i rlly wanna get one). so don't bite my fucking dick off with the technicalities! lets just b happy that i acc posted this hehehe

word count ; 5k ish

black fem reader (still all can read)

lollipopliccer’s love letter ❦ … hiiiii lollipops 🪷 i just wanted to say thank u sm for the love on my debut fic i rlly appreciated it. i’m rlly excited for y’all to read this new one EEEEE. this one was also long as helllll (¬_¬), shit has just been ridiculous in my life rn so sorry abt the delay, i don’t even know y it took me this long just to write 5k ugh anywayyy. i’m excited, cus i always eat up geto tattoo artist head-cannons, mmmm they’re just so mm mm mm tasty. anyway this is my first time writing some angst, i usually stay clear away from any typa angst, i’ve already got enough of that in my life plss haahaa, i don’t even know what possessed me to dip my toe in it, but don’t worry it’s very light. okayy enough of the babble, pls enjoy my fic, and i’d appreciate all ur interaction, reposts, comments, feedback blah blah… mwah mwah mwah ( ੭ ˘ ³˘)੭‎°｡⋆♡‧₊˚

'i'm so excitteedddd' you squeal, as your best friend nobara parks her car, beside the tattoo parlor. you both had been planning your tattoos together for a few weeks now settling on the most beautiful matching heart design on both your bikini lines, whilst individually having unique patterns going through the (tatted) hearts.

"you better not fucking scream when you're actually under the gun" nobara chastises laughing.

"fuck you bitch, you already know i'm bad like that, not even gonna flinch" you taunt, as you both get out of her car.

you decided on wearing a fitted, short black dress, that accentuated your curves and hips but would also be easily manoeuvrable for your tattoo placement. shoko Ieiri your tattoo artist made sure you were comfortable with your design and placement.

underneath your dress, you wore bikini bottoms with side ties, for the same reasons as the dress - paired with some white trainers with pink embellishments. you complete your outfit with jewellery. including your pandora bracelet with silver and pink charms, a necklace, and stud earrings.

you both walk into the parlour, it's decorated all over its dark blue walls with a myriad of paintings, sketches, and different artworks. nobara leads you to the front desk as she had booked the appointment. you're greeted by a raven-haired girl with a short pixie cut.

"hey, are you guys here for your appointment?" she asks, as you notice her name tag- 'maki', and her tattoos and scars peeking through her top.

"yeah, um we had an appointment for 6:30 pm" nobara states, you can see her start to blush at maki.

"cool, yeah i'll check that out for you, umm..." maki responds

nobara so obviously interested in maki, decides to flirt, while you absent-mindedly look at the artwork placed across the shop. it's truly captivating, the deep dark hues and colours, so beautifully drawn, depicting what you could only describe as demons. they were more abstract than the stereotypical depiction, but these works somehow gave more meaning and conveyed more torment.

"so how long have you been working here, maki right?" nobara asks

"yeah, i started some months ago."

"that's cool, i love your tats”

“thank you, i um did some of em myself, nobara right?” maki responds getting nobara’s name from the booked appointment slot

“yeah…” nobara smiles shyly

“…are those your sketches up there? nobara asks, pointing to one of the sketches you've been staring at, there's a familiarity to the work displayed. but you can't put your finger on it.

"no um that's actually from another tattoo artist's, geto." maki answers.

you almost freeze, just from the mention of his name "who?!"

"uhh geto suguru, he owns the place, his artwork is all over these walls" maki responds to you.

a shiver runs up your spine "oh..."

"on that note, i'm sorry for the inconvenience girls, but shoko, your tattooist she had to take our other colleague gojo to the hospital- broke his arm doing some dumb shit. so she won't be able to actually give you your tattoo’s today, however we're able to swap her in for geto suguru, he just got back into town and is just as talented"

"shit" nobara turns to you, already knowing the issue from just his name alone, "yn i had no idea omg, i should've checked better, we can leave"

"nah there'll be no need for that, right yn?" you hear his voice. his silky deep voice, it always had that raspy quality that made your knees go weak. another shiver runs down your spine. you whip around.

"why tf are you here?" you sneer.

"uhh i work here…" he answers deadpan.

you turn back around, after giving him a lethal sneer, "hey um maki is there any other artist today?"

"no, i'm sorry, everyone else is booked." she apologises

"and anyway, it'll be a hassle for you guys if you were to reschedule," geto states

you simply stare at nobara refusing to even glance at him.

"come on yn" geto insists gently, leaning closer to you. your back to him. your name on his lips has you reeling, how softly he calls to you, like no other.

nobara waits for what you want to do, and if you're comfortable being tattooed by your ex in such an intimate area?

"let's get this done", you tell nobara, you turn around to face geto who has that enticing smirk.

as you follow him to his workspace, nobara hangs back reassured that you're comfortable being with your ex. you get the chance to truly take him in since last you saw him. his tattoo’s have grown, as he's painted a whole-sleeved dragon across his left arm, slithering out of his tight-fitted black t. your eyes roam all over his body, soaking in his confident stride, his height, taller than you remember. the way he ties part of his black, luscious hair in the bun is similar but different from the way you remember, leaving the rest of his hair to hang past his shoulders. but his right-hand tattoo is as you remember. a rose’s stem covered in thorns, wrapped around his hand, you can't help but still have your heart swell from that.

as he opens the door for you, you strut past him in silence, he of course responds with an eye roll to your petulance. his workspace is decorated with more of his works, some unfinished, yet so mesmerising you can't look away from them, they seem to depict a greater depth, too intimate for the outer world. the deep hues of dark royal blues, blacks, and green meld together, casting an otherworldly aura. the demons here have this eerie elegance, their features subtly tormenting, evoking such sorrows.

"if you're not comfortable with me tattooing you, we don't have to, i will let you reschedule free of charge-" "i know." you state, without hesitation. and with that, the silence returns as geto smiles slightly, he then grabs his equipment, lining them up, his needle gun, ink, etc.

"why did you insist on me not rescheduling then?" you taunt

"i wouldn't say i instisted" geto defends.

"mmm really? cus i'd even say you implored" you smirk. seeing you smile… he wonders how he could’ve forgotten how magnetic it is.

"i just wanted to see you…”

a pause.

"you broke up with me." you interrupt coldly, both of you are reminded of your separation...

… you begged him to stay. the pain you felt completely consumed you, leaving you empty…

geto holds your gaze. your eyes filled with anger, but also longing. you try to conceal your feelings by turning around.

"yn..." he calls out to you, but you ignore him, seemingly too entranced by a random splotch on the wall, while trying to hold it all in "...yn look at me", geto approached.

you turned around slowly. almost stubbornly, you made sure to look him in his eyes, those deep dark orbs that never failed to suck you into a world of intensity and sensitivity. you both hold each other's gaze, so much said between each other, longing, and regret.

"i am sorry yn, i-" in his attempt to express his apology, you immediately stride past to sit on the tattoo bed, too overwhelmed.

"-right so like from a scale of 1-10, 10 being i'm gonna need to b fucking sedated, how painful is this tat going to be" you ramble, trying to divert the conversation.

you ignore his sigh, as he walks to his chair. he then chooses to focus on preparing his equipment, sterilising them, all that shit. "the tattoo shouldn't be that painful, especially as you requested numbing cream."

"cool" you respond curtly, you follow his actions on focusing on the task at hand, and lift up the side of your dress, to expose the side you were getting tatted on.

when geto looks back he sees your pink bikini bottoms with string ties, he looks away trying to keep his composure "just want you to give me an idea where you want your heart and thorns”.

you clear your throat a little, to try and calm your nerves, “um just around here, i trust your um artistic inclinations. have some freedom with it, i know its kinda simple but i um- the thorns i want them to wrap around, please.”

“of course, yn”

geto trying his best to make this experience as comfortable as possible begins applying the numbing cream. he looks you in your eyes, to see if there were any remaining apprehensions, finding none, the gun comes to life.

“you tell me how you’re feeling throughout this process, if anything feels off with what i am doing, you tell me, do you understand?” geto instructs, his firmness, and apprehension to cause you any unnecessary harm stirs things in you. things you’ve tried repressing, tried to move on from, evidently unsuccessfully.

you nod in response adding a “yes”. and so begins the process, as geto brings needle to skin, his art begins to mark you. the initial twitch of pain you feel is subdued by the numbing cream generously applied. although you can’t help the slight yelp that falls from your lips, which geto catches onto and immediately soothes “shhh it’s okay, the cream will kick in soon won’t feel a thing hun”. his words soothe you, as they always used to, leading you to simply whimper in slight pain. you can’t help but look at him, at how he’s completely focused on your brown skin, that he marks by his hands.

…

as the hours go on, you slowly see geto’s work, his art come together, the red hues of the heart mixing together with slight pinks but also contrasted shades of black, to provide it with such depth, teasing the later depictions of darkness the thorns will add. you are in complete awe of this man, of his work, as you watch him work completely zoned in, despite any dull pain mumbling under the numbing cream.

as your focus lays on him- memories, old feelings of pain, sadness, and confusion begin to bubble again, and you blurt…

“why did you leave?”

a pause…

followed by silence… your demand for answers hanging over you both, while he still remains focused on your tattoo, you remain waiting. you know he heard you.

“i found myself in darkness again, yn, but that time it was even more challenging.. my hallucinations, my night terrors all came back, i was in it deep…” he pauses trying to find his words, and you give him that space “… i knew you were there for me, holding me when i woke up screaming. you stood by me…” he paused

“…however i couldn’t let you do that, i couldn’t bring you there with me. not when i couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world. i needed to find myself again, my purpose. and i know the way i left you, was cold, and confusing, and i am truly sorry, but i had to do it for myself.” as you listen attentively, watching him intently, he slowly gazes at you, pausing his work. your eyes meet with such intensity, such ache, and you start welling up, finally understanding everything, no longer being left with nothing but a cold departure.

“i’m sorry- m’so- ‘m so so sorry geto” tears cascade down your face, geto is quick to wipe them away, softly holding your precious face.

“sshh, ssh baby, don’t be silly mmm, you did nothing wrong, and i’ve been doing better. so much better. finding new channels to express how i feel, what i see.” referring to the intricate art that decorated his walls.

you sniffle, you feel so guilty and ashamed, for the resentment you harboured against him when he was out there trying to fight his way out of such a dark mental space. “they’re beautiful.” you sniffle

“not a day goes by that i don’t think about you, that i don’t regret the way i left. i would’ve come back but i thought you would move on...”

“i didn’t.” you respond

“neither did i.”

with your admissions to one another, a comforting silence fell, filling the room with sweet serenity, and you both found yourselves tethered together once again, holding each other’s gaze, filled with yearning.

you were the first to break, averting your gaze, feeling like it was the first time meeting, how your butterflies bloomed and fluttered, riddled with carnal hunger for him. the paradox of your feelings for him always consumed you, almost driving you mad, only geto could set you so ablaze.

the needle resumed its course, mechanically piercing your skin. both your attentions returned to their original positions.

the only difference being the shift in the atmosphere, the reignition of your feelings for one another, but this time at a tenfold from the time spent apart, wanting no other.

“ahh it’s getting a little sore geto” you whine in slight pain

“sorry yn, we’re moving onto the thorns now, we’ll soon be done, why don’t you take a look at it for me, tell if you don’t like anything?”

as he wipes over the completed heart, filled with colours and dimensions, so deep and beautiful, truly depicting more than you could imagine, it’s medium-sized maintaining a slight cuteness to the art, but still depicts chaos within, which geto clearly understood about you, and so was best to depict it.

“i love it.” you squeal, looking into his eyes, as he looks for reassurance from you. his vibrant smile brightens his face, you hadn’t seen it in so long, and it warmed you.

“good, we’re going to move to the thorns, wrapped down your thigh, why don’t you tell me about your choice of thrones?” geto asked so he could understand your thought process behind the tattoo.

you were apprehensive to reveal your thorns, largely from a place of embarrassment. you didn’t want to show how much he had affected you, and still did, but you did not want to lie to him especially after, he revealed himself so intimately to you.

the thorns, um, i got them from you…” geto halts at this, looking at you in slight confusion “they stemmed from me just wanting to have a piece of you still with me, something that i remembered, that reminded me of you… the thorns, the ones you have on your rose.” in explaining, you feel bold enough to touch the inked rose on his right hand, grazing your fingers over the thorns

suguru can hardly conceal his feelings. “i missed you.” geto states. his dark, sleek eyes told you how he burned for you.

“i missed you too suguru.” you whisper. your feelings flood your body, making you tingly- his intensity holds you in place. you’re both focussed on one another, suguru begins to smile feeling the warmth of your fingers touching him so delicately.

"lets continue your tattoo, i don't wanna fuck it up" suguru states, slowly bringing his hand away from your touch, even though he wanted nothing more than to let you touch him all over. to feel how those pretty acrylics, decorated in bows and charms along his skin, but he didn't want to mess this up, he wanted to tattoo you perfectly.

"okay" you respond, almost dissapointedly. wanting to feel him under your fingertips. you'd settle for now to feel his hands on your thighs, holding them to get his angles right, you were beginning to realise that you wanted more than just to stroke his hand. you want him to mark you all over, with more than just his needle gun.

"you've gotta try and stay still for me yn, i know it hurts, but it'll be over soon" suguru soothed, as his eyes narrowed around the curves of your thighs, the way they flexed and trembled slightly as you whimpered due to the numbed pain.

"okay... can i hold onto you?" you ask. he responds with a nod. you grip his arm, wanting to feel tethered- you don't remember him being so well-built, his biceps feel thick and powerful, almost hard to the touch as he flexes per his movements.

...

you're now a few hours into the tattoo, suguru’s taking his time, to add such beautiful details. the tension between the two of you is palpable, but the air is no longer filled with animosity, but rather intimacy. knowing you though, and how impatient you are suguru already sees it coming when you-

"sug i'm fucking borreeddd" the numbing cream obviously doing its job to reduce the pain to something dismissible, suguru chuckles finding your impatience so familial and adorable.

"it's barely been two hours" suguru forever sassy, remarks, rolling his eyes at ur moodiness. "now stay still, you're messin up my work." suguru states, you huff and bite your tongue, as you don’t want to fuck up his flow, you already know he works best when he’s zoned-in on a task.

you decide to catch up with him, your curiosity building, you've both missed so much from each other's lives. "i like your parlour. i would've bet money you'd turn your art into tattoos, you were too talented to let your art hide in your sketches"

suguru smiles again, "yeah? it was either this or burning down the town", he jokes and makes you both laugh, due to the absurdity. however, you both knew, there was some truth to it, which honestly added to your laughs

"right, of course committing arson, and potential mass murder is an obvious alternative." you sarcastically quip

"what you don't agree, i know you're not much better at keeping your chaos in check," he teases, his eyes locking onto yours.

you feel yourself flush, feeling seen- so you try staying on track to your original plan to catch up with him, "when did you open this place?"

"well actually gojo was the one who invested in my passion"

"that's so sweet"

"yeah, he's a fucking asshole, always all up in my business," he remarks, with a small smile, feigning annoyance. you can feel the fondness behind his words.

you notice how suguru smiles, how he teases, just like he used to, & still has that assertive and confident allure to him, that natural dominance and assuredness in himself, that he almost lost. your conversation with one another continued, bantering off one another. you make each other laugh and snicker and your heart can’t help but swell.

...

your feelings for him set aflame once again. this time with a ferocity you could barely contain. only heightened by the dull pain that he controlled with his needle, marking you so prettily. the assured control suguru had over your body was so seductive, it made places other than your tatted thigh, start to ache, start to ache so badly.

finally, geto lays the finishing touches on your tattoo, clearing up the intricate lines, adding shadings and highlights, and then wiping over the tattoo.

"okay, it's done. you can go check it in the mirror, let me know if you hate it." geto keeping his gaze low somewhat anxious to see your reaction.

as you approach the full-body mirror attached to the opposite wall, you couldn't possibly understand his apprehension because when you lay eyes on your tattoo, you are completely awestruck. you fall completely in love with his markings, the way the thorns pierce through the heart and sliver down your left hip, and thigh, wrapping them gorgeously.

you are lost for words, your lips part with a gasp, and when you bring your eyes up onto suguru through the mirror, you see how he watches you. following from your thighs decorated in his work, marking your body so seductively. then he focuses on how your dress is bunched up on those hips, those hips he’s held, and soothed over for hours today, but his mind wanders... reminiscing about all those times he used to handle and caress all over your plump thighs. how he would mould your body any way he pleased.

he watched as you held the undone ties of your pretty bikini bottoms, it made him salivate. his eyes cast over your dress- the way it hugged your body so exquisitely, propping up your boobs so prettily. the way your butt peaks out of the bunched-up dress, and how your breathing picked up, flustered from his heated gaze.

"i love it sug." you whisper softly.

"yeah?" he smirks. growing bolder, he walks up to you, and you don’t dare avert your eyes from his, through the mirror. you love the way his top hugs his thick muscular shoulders. his broad upper back being so beautifully emphasised, and how his sculpted chest has his nipple piercings teasing through his top. you salivate at his slim waist. ugh he's such a slut. you love the way his body is perfectly decorated in his art, marking his skin; and adorning his arms, and his neck, which is wrapped with a chain, you remember gifting him.

when he reaches you, he has to crouch down, flexing his strong thighs and calves hidden under his baggy bottoms, but you still have to look up at him to maintain eye contact, which he demands with his own. suguru holds the bottom of your thigh just under where the tattoo ends.

"how does it feel?" he whispers into your ear, his sharp gaze still honed on you

you whimper faintly because of the dull sting and ache from the tat

"a little sore sug, but it feels good, i really like it." you say softly while you lean into him, wanting to be wrapped in his body, his warmth.

he smiles at your admission "that's good yn, i'm going to wrap it up now, don't want it getting infected." you love the way he says your name, the way he purrs, your name rolls off his tongue so tenderly.

as he wraps the tattoo you wince, he immediately soothes you, "i've got you baby, it's okay." your body relaxes in response. your eyes never leave each other. as the tension shifts you feel enthralled, wanting him to touch you all over.

"yn, do you want me to play with you?" suguru asks, having that condescending tone that never failed to make you falter. you almost shy away, but he holds your face, bringing his hand up under your chin, his fingers grip your cheeks slightly, making you look directly at him “i want to play with you, i want to help you forgive me baby...” he whispers into your ear. your breath becoming more uneven and flustered from his proximity, that you can practically taste his aroma, how he mixes his scents of minty, smoky notes and cinnamon, woody undertones - it intoxicates you.

“…do you want me to?”

geto waits for your response, not daring to touch you the way he wants, without knowing you’re aching for it. and you want nothing more than that, for him to take care of you how he once did, oh how you wanted to see if he still remembered how to make you cum so blissfully. you nod giving out a soft “please”.

suguru kisses the side of your head, sprinkling kisses down your face making you giggle and fawn, till he reaches your neck and you lose your breath. geto finds the sensitive parts on your neck, making you feel so tingly, it's almost ticklish. you almost forgot how much you loved when suguru kissed and licked across your neck, how he would bite and suckle, leaving you all marked up just how he liked. god he’d go fucking crazy for it too. to hear you whine and pant below him as he licked and sucked. it sent tingles all over your body, straight to your clit. you shuddered under him, leaning onto him- to give him better access to mark you. slowly he grips your hips grinding his bulge into you, he even bends you forward a little so that you can feel him, how hard he is for you- humping into you over your clothed body.

geto held you at an angle arched while both of you stood in front of the mirror so that he could have you grind right back onto his dick that was growing so achingly hard for you. the way he moved your bodies together was so disgustingly sensual, you had to look away moaning as you felt his clothed dick thrust into you, giving you that sensation you so craved. you were whining, you felt so depraved like you hadn’t been touched like this in so long- you just wanted him to rip you the fuck open.

“mmm nah baby look at yourself in the mirror…” he demanded, to which you stubbornly ignored, forcing suguru to grab your face so that you could look at how pathetically you had come undone for him, just from his dry humping. “… i said fucking look at yourself, mmm? you lost your manners baby?” he teases knowing exactly how to fix your attitude. he ends his command by giving your thigh (without the tattoo) a firm slap, making you cry out, you quickly try stifling it, remembering you’re still in his fucking workspace.

“you’re so mean” you whine and pout up at him, which makes him chuckle at you, his smirk unfurling so lewdly.

“i’m going to make it up to you mmm? you’ll let me make you feel good baby? gotta apologise for making my baby upset.” the way he talks to you feigning that concern, his fucking tone, makes you feel weak, and pliant for him. as you move your legs a little wider, and let go of your tied bikini bottoms so they hang down barely concealing a thing. geto watches how strings of your arousal are built up, clinging onto your pretty bottoms. showing him just how wet you are for him and you push your butt into him even more, nodding your head in invitation for him to remedy all the mess he’s made.

as suguru brings his rose-covered hand down to your aching pussy ready to soothe it. once he touches her, feeling your glistening folds, he hisses as his eyes glaze over, and lower so seductively. you see the way his hand flexes and his veins protrude. his long, adept fingers dip further, caressing and rubbing against your hard little clit. he can feel it pulse for him, making you whine as suguru increases the pressure of his fingers on your clit. circling around your throbbing bundle of nerves. his fingers collect the slick past your lips, down to your spasming, weeping hole, and brings them back to your needy nub.

his tight circles, pet your pretty clit so well, turning you into a mewling mess, you can’t help but move against and around his fingers, acting so bratty- but suguru couldn't give a shit, he'll mould you right where he needs you again holding you by your neck and continuing his strokes on that clit regardless of how you whine.

"sug- aaa-" such a petulant whine leaves your supple lips, begging for him to go further into your leaking hole, you needed him to be inside you, having your pussy drool on his pretty, tatted fingers.

"i know baby, you need it don't you? you need me to fuck you open mmm?" suguru whispers in your ear, kissing the outside of your earlobe so delicately, while saying such filthy things. you look at him through the mirror nodding your head so pathetically, and why would he deny you, his baby? nah never...

suguru brings his finger back down to your desperate hole. he eases around your pussy going around the edges of her, only dipping the tip of his finger. you can't take his teasing-

"sugu! stop teasin-" suguru immediately interrupts, plunging his fingers into you, making you gasp. he slipped into your soppy pussy giving off that mind-numbing squelching sound, having your pussy suck his fingers in so snuggly, has you moaning wantonly. the way suguru’s digits fill you, he’s able to add a finger, scissoring two fingers into your weeping cunt, the way he pushes in and curls his fingers to rub against your plush walls it has you mewling. as you feel him find and rub against that spot, that perfect spongey spot so easily, your eyes roll back. suguru was losing his mind, he rasped a soft moan right into your ear, he loved watching you buck on his fingers, the way you moaned and struggled to take him, it made him itch and drool to have you.

his fingers in your pussy stroking and pumping into your soft, wet pussy. his hand around your neck holding your face up to keep your eyes on everything he was doing. his deep, velvety voice right by your ear, whispering, and moaning sweet nothings. you were losing your fucking mind, you almost couldn't handle it.

"aaa- nngg, sug- sug!," you moaned shamelessly "f-ohfuck i can't-"

"sshh baby, tf you think you're doing mmm, whining like that in my office?" suguru whispers chastising you. your eyes look up at him, and the way you looked so doe-eyed, so pathetic- barely able to hold in your moans, gripped him.

"you struggling to take it for me baby, want me stop?" geto taunts, but you instantly shake your head needing him all over you.

“no please don’t stop sug”

"you can take what i give you princess?"

"i need you uhahh" you wanted him to have you however he pleased.

the way he moves has you humping and panting, you wine on him trying to get some friction against your slutty little cunt.

your moans grow louder and the pitch of your whines grow higher- you suck on your pretty fingers to try and get yourself quiet, your eyes glazing over as you watch suguru fuck you so good with his fingers and his hard bulge pushing up into you. the way he licks and bites all over your neck leaving a trail of his marks. suguru still never averts his dark eyes from yours. the purple glints in his eyes kind of sparkle in your head. all of it is bringing you right to the edge. your eyes roll back, your thighs shake, your knees buckle from the pleasure. so pliant and easy for him to manoeuvre you so he can hold you up and fuck you in just the right angles he needs, that he demands.

“fuckfuckfuc- aahh ohhhh sugie. daddy oh mmynghh” you whine and cry, your head lolling onto his shoulder.

right on the precipice of your orgasm, suguru watches how you get so close to cumming, he’s fucking salivating seeing how you become so undone, how you’ve gone fucking dumb on just his fingers, he can’t help but moan and groan right with you.

“mmm mmfuck, mine. mine.” he purrs, licking all up on you

but all too soon, it comes to a halt, and your orgasm gets snatched away from you. suguru wickedly decides to take his fingers out of you. you almost cry

“wha- no suguru fuck no don’t stop, mmmmnoo” you whine so pathetically gripping his arm, it’s fucking laughable trying to keep his fingers right where you needed them, gripping his sculpted arms so hard. your hands… the size difference makes him smile. no not smile, he’s fucking smirking. that little shit.

“fuck you, SUG HMPH!” you practically stomp your feet, pushing him away as you’re about to walk away, but of course suguru grips you against him, pulling you back so close, you are still as stubborn as ever refusing to look at him, while you’re face to face, which makes him snicker. he isn’t having any of that bullshit tho, he grabs your chin and cheeks squeezing as a warning. he pulls your face up to him again and kisses you on your forehead, the side of your head, and your cheek, and then he ghosts his plump, nude lips over your lips.

“if i decide you don’t get to cum on my fingers, you won’t. i don’t fucking care how close you are.” suguru states, locking his eyes with yours so intensely, while his lips and breath feel so close to your own, you almost feel faint. you want nothing more than for him to just kiss you, you want to feel his lips again, oh how you miss how soft they were, how you loved the taste of his mouth, the taste of the mint with his own unique feel.

suguru’s eyes flutter down to look at your lips so lushly plump and glossed he can’t help but lick his lips. he wants nothing more than to mess up your brown and pink lip combo. to bite, suck and lick all over you.

“tell me you understand.”

“i understand daddy, m’sorry i threw a tantrum, i just wanted to cum on your fingers so bad-”

suguru smiles feeling fucking delighted from your admission

“-can you please kiss me, i promise i’ll behave sugie” you whisper almost whining at the end, you rub your thighs together feeling how you made such a mess for him, as your slick trickles down your thighs.

suguru feeling so pleased with you, groans into your mouth, once your lips touch. he almost forgot how much he missed this. how much he missed you, your lips, those soft lips that melted against his. he loved the way you gasped and whined from your slow kiss, so sensual and intimate. but he knew you were such an impatient brat, his impatient princess.

demanding more, you lace your hands into his hair. you adored his long, luscious hair so much, (that you remember countless times joking about shaving it off at night and turning it into a wig. those playful moments would always have you both bickering and laughing together. it makes your heart swell remembering this).

you begged for more by stroking and tugging at the nape of his hair, making his body tingle, as suguru moaned into your kiss. he licked on your lips to get you to open up for him. he loves the way you whine and moan from frustration and neediness while running your fingers through his hair, it made him lose his fucking mind, so, of course, he had to express that by nipping at your bottom lip. his bite made you whimper and grind up against him but it wasn’t enough. you needed more. you wanted more. but suguru leads the kiss to hold that slow, deep and sensual pace, having your tongues dance together, lick against each other unhurried. which was mind-blowing but also so frustrating you wanted to just devour him, you couldn't get enough.

you moaned into his mouth as suguru sucked on your bottom lip, and then went back to your tongue, licking against each other. he spat in your mouth briefly separating your mouths from one another, and immediately resuming the kiss. at this, you snapped. whining wantonly, you gripped onto him and stubbornly clambered onto him so your legs wrapped around his waist. suguru was easily able to carry you. you were determined to make him fuck you.

“daddy” you whisper, opening your eyes to pout up at him.

“yes baby?” suguru answers, giving little kisses along your chin down to your neck. sucking onto your sensitive neck areas, he knew just the right spots to make you lose your fucking mind.

“i want you to fuck me…” you say grinding down onto the bulge you could feel through his sweats. you were sure you could feel a wet spot on them, but you weren’t quite sure of the culprit, as your wet pussy dragged and humped on his dick print leaking with pre-cum. you could feel his throbbing dick just aching to be inside you, pumping you full of his cum. suguru hissed from the feeling of your mess teasing his aching cock.

“… please baby, please fuck me again, i said i’d be good” you whined, moving closer to his ears so only he could hear how desperate you were for him. suguru moans, his voice breaks and rasps a little from you grinding on him and circling over his dick.

suguru fucking snaps, he closes his eyes while his mouth slightly hangs open, just taking in how your hips wined on him while he carried you.

he then cupped your face to him, “you’re such a fucking brat.” he moans, holding your face and caressing your throat, he watches how your breathing picks up, as you get so flustered. he brings you close, kissing you on your forearm, bringing his hand around your neck. then he carries you to his tattoo bed.

“i am not going to fuck you yn-.”

“-but su!” you begin to whine interrupting him

“be quiet.” suguru reprimands, gripping your neck just a little tighter after placing you to sit on the edge of the seat “i’m not gonna fuck you on my dick. when i have you like that, it’s gonna be on my bed, where i can have you screaming on it without any fucking interruptions. do whatever the fuck i wanna do without you getting all shy on me tryna muffle those pretty moans from me mmm, you understand baby?”

“yeah daddy” you answer feeling so giddy and light with him

“there’s my princess,” he smirks, “you’re really that fucking needy, want my dick here, right where my colleagues are downstairs mmm?” he says before kissing you again. “good girl” he praises while lifting off your dress and quickly bringing his lips back onto yours. slowly he brings you to lay back. he gets in between your thighs lifting one up over his shoulder while letting your tatted thigh rest over the edge of the bed. from this angle he could see your pretty glistening pussy, clenching around nothing.

“lay back baby.” he instructs, he sees how you wait in anticipation for him laying back on the bed.

he crouches down, kneeling in front of your exposed pussy, your slick brown lips he’s completely hypnotised by, they glisten from your wetness. you grow a little shy, you weren’t prepared to be eaten out today (૮꒰⸝⸝> <⸝⸝꒱ა). you bring down your hands to try and cover her up, feeling a little embarrassed.

suguru immediately dismissing your nonsense, and swats your hand away bringing them to instead hold your plush thighs “don’t piss me off today yn, it’s fucking mine.” you almost squeal in response to suguru, he gets so intense sometimes.

suguru is completely enchanted by your scent, the way your hole quivers and weeps for him he has to have a taste. keeping his eyes on you suguru takes the time to separate your folds with his fingers, he licks your swollen nub revelling in the way you gasp and twitch from the sensation, you feel so sensitive from the way his fingers had you shacking.

he then delves in, lapping and sucking on your bud making you writhe and moan from pleasure. the movement of his tongue has such an effect on your pussy, it's marvelling. he takes his time, really getting you sensitive, flattening his tongue on your clit and then straightening it to add pressure, circling perfectly around your bundle of nerves, it makes you gasp and arch your back so prettily

“fuck! sug-daddy aaaahhh” you release a raspy cry, gripping his hair and pulling him into you to, so you can grind on his face, which makes him moan into you, muffling a-

“fuck baby” into your wet pussy, he has to hold your hips down as you begin moving around too much for him to control, so he holds your thigh and places his other arm on your hip, pushing you down, so you stay fucking still for him to play with you properly. suguru brings his tongue down to your leaking hole, thrusting his pointed tongue into your pussy making you mewl and cover your mouth to stop yourself from squealing.

the way you’re panting and moaning, suguru can tell you're going dumb for him, aching to cum all over him. he takes his mouth off of you as your moans get higher. you whine from the absence of his tongue on your needy pussy but he makes up for it by spitting on her, letting his spit slide onto your sensitive cunt. the way his spit glistens and slides down your pussy, he pushes it back into your hole, thrusting his fingers and spit back into you. you react by clutching your thighs together from the sensitivity which makes suguru look at you sharply.

“open.”

you whine, separating your thighs, so he can dip his head back down onto your clit which makes you shudder, bucking your hips into his face. he continues thrusting his fingers into you while his tongue plays and toys with your sore little clit. you can feel everything, it's all so much, your eyes roll back as your mouth hangs open letting out a broken moan while you tug at suguru’s hair.

the way his fingers scissor your folds open, cunt drooling and sucking him in greedily, while he laps and lightly nips on your clit letting his spit drool on you, just for him to suck on your juices. he eats so sloppily it has your eyes watering.

“s’good sug—so fuckin’ good,” hips grinding into the movement of his lengthy fingers, chasing that ecstasy knotting in the pits of your stomach, you’re so close you start seeing white, suguru knows you’re about to cum from the way your fingers tangle and tug at his hair, struggling to either push him closer or away from you. his dark piercing gaze never leaves your face.

“daddy m’gonna cum! shit hah aa sug please lemme cum oh please” you sob, which makes suguru groan into your pussy. feeling the way your hole clenches around his fingers, leaking out so much wetness. the way your hard clit throbs for him, your juices covering, adorning his beautiful face, he looks so pussy drunk. the only thing on his mind is making you cum all over him.

“mmm baby, you gonna cum for me.. that’s my good fucking girl” he says pumping his fingers into you while moving his other hand to circle your clit in tight circles, so he can talk you through your orgasm.

“oh fuck daddy! oh my godnngh” your hands immediately grip suguru’s hands as you squeal and moan wantonly. your body arches and bucks as you dig your nails into him leaving little crescents on his skin. your vision dots, as your body tenses, lips parting into a silent scream as your release flies through you, wetting the tattoo bed. suguru watches your cream flow beneath you, all over his mouth. he pushes your juices back into your leaking hole, drooling at the way your hole squelches.

“there’s my good girl, oh you did so good baby mmmm” he praises lapping at your excess juices spilling down, you’re so fucking sensitive it hurts

“sug-ahh it hurts, fuckk” you whine, purring up at him as you watch suguru’s desire envelop you, you can tell he’s not done with you, but you doubt you could even take anymore.

suguru slithers up to you, kissing and licking up your boobs, making you squirm. when he reaches you he holds your face so gently, mere inches away from you.

“you forgive me baby?” suguru whispers gently stroking his nose against yours, almost purring against you like a cat “mmmm?” he purrs stroking the side of your face and caressing your limp exhausted body. you feel so warm against him, so lewd and yet so protected.

“i forgive you, you’re such an asshole” you giggle feeling a little shy again, only suguru was able to make you shy, and flush so easily. suguru whispers back a thank you and captures your lips into a searing kiss, melting you both together so passionately. you clutch onto the nape of his neck and run your fingers through his hair, earning you a moan, as suguru’s tongue dances with yours sensually. he grips your hips, pulling you against him. you can feel his bulge pulsing for you-

“suguru, aye we’re back! and u’ve got another appointment waiting!” you both hear from downstairs at the reception, shoko calling out to suguru followed by gojo following suit making a ruckus, throwing a tantrum about his arm

“dudeee, where tf r u? i coulda died!” gojo shouts out. you can hear him coming up the stairs to suguru’s office

“mmm fuck suguru, they’re coming up” you gasp up to suguru who still refuses to take notice of them. he smirks, choosing to still feel all up on you

“mmmm don’t care c’mere” suguru states, you roll your eyes

“suguruuu c’mon” you smirk, pushing against him

“ugghh for fucksake” suguru huffs moving off of you, taking your hand and pulling you up to him making you yelp with excitement. you both come to your senses though when you hear gojo’s footsteps up the stairs getting close, both of you scrambling to put your dress back on and get you both presentable.

suguru then holds your chin, so you both look at each other

“what?” you nervously laugh at his intense look

“let me take you out yn? i’ve missed you so much baby” suguru pleads while stroking the side of your cheek with his thumb

“mmmm i dunno sug, dependdss on where you’re gonna take me” you smirk up at him

“let me worry about that baby, i wanna treat you, try and make it up to you” suguru implores and then kisses your forehead just as gojo barges in-

“sUgUruUuu!!”

♡ ༺｡° .ᘛ𓆩♡𓆪ᘚ. ° ｡༻

#geto suguru #geto x reader #suguru smut #jujitsu kaisen #black reader #jjk smut #jjk suguru #getou suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk fic #jjk #jjk geto #geto smut #suguru geto smut #geto suguru smut #suguru x reader #suguru x you #suguru x y/n #masochist sub #soft sadist #tattoo artist suguru #daddy geto #jjk angst #angst with a happy ending #light angst #geto #daddy k!nk

[elllisaaa]

I was wondering if it wouldn't be too much to ask for an imagine with any of the skz boys. (Biased to lee know and bang chan). The reader is a girl who has a Korean pixie cut (looks like lee know's), and she gets some really rude comments about her looks from some idol looking girls behind her back while her and one of the boys are out at like a restaurant or bar. And these rude comments cause a lot of anxiety and self consciousness. And then just followed by soul melting fluff. And maybe some fluff smut, "babygirl" kink *because I know most of these men are just big soft dom teddy bears deep down*. (Even though the girl has a pixie cut she's actually quite feminine, but like in a soft cutie innocent kind of way yk.) Love you sooo much btw♥︎

hiii lovely !!! firstly thank you so much for sending an ask and taking the time to read me, that's so sweet &lt;3

don't worry, it's not too much, all of you have such wonderful ideas that constantly motivates me to write, i love it so much ! and this idea... yeah, that's what i like. because you're so right, short are not often described ! i am guilty myself even if I try to be as neutral as possible ! since you let me choose, I really hesitated with chan buuut I'm too in love with seungmin these days 😭 also, i choose to not include smut (hope it'll be okay !) because i felt like the vibe was too fluffy for that !

anyway, i hope you'll like it, thank you for sending an ask and supporting me !!

FAIRY - K. SEUNGMIN

-> pairing : kim seungmin x fem!reader

-> words count : 1.1k

-> genre : fluff, hurt/comfort

-> warnings : self-deprecating thoughts, overthinking, mention of struggling with body image.

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> feedbacks and reblogs are appreciated !

-> skz masterlist | masterlist

You had always been pretty confident about your reflection in the mirror. Surely, there were times when you struggled with your image and body, just the way you looked, but for the most part, you loved yourself and your appearance. So you didn’t really know why these girls' remarks were sending you spiraling like that.  

It was supposed to be a cool day with your boyfriend, a little date just like you loved them : eating at your favorite restaurant, then going for a walk in the park and going home to cuddle while watching a movie. It was supposed to be perfect. But all it took was a commentary about your haircut for you to suddenly feel very self-conscious. 

“- Did you see that ? She looks like a boy, and an ugly one at that !

- Stop, she might hear us ! Maybe she’ll shave her head if she’s angry !”

The two girls behind you bursted out in laughter, unaware that you, in fact, heard them and that they did a good job at bringing you down. You lowered your head to your half-empty plate, suddenly not hungry anymore. You knew that Seungmin was talking to you, but you couldn’t hear a word he said. 

You always loved to experiment things with your hair. When you were little, they were very long and as you grew up, you tried to dye them in funny colors. And then, you cut them shorter, and shorter, until the point you were now : a pixie cut. You loved it, it was so easy to style and so much more practical than longer hair in everyday life. But at times, you wished you didn’t go for such a different hairstyle. Maybe they were right. Maybe you were the strange one. 

It was not helping that these girls were so good looking, with their pretty, long, silky brown hair. It was not helping either that your boyfriend happened to be Kim Seungmin, and that he was so handsome too. Were you looking ridiculous besides him ? Was it looking like he was doing you a favor by going out with you ? Maybe it was the case after all, maybe he agreed with them and thought that you were ugly. 

“- Baby, are you alright ?”

You lifted your head, trying to smile at Seungmin so he wouldn’t notice all the things that were going through your head. He obviously didn’t hear what the two girls said, and it was better like that. You didn’t want to bother him with your little problems. It was nothing, nothing he needed to know at least.

“- Yes… I’m just not very hungry, don’t worry about me.”

You could see that Seungmin was confused. He was not dumb, and he knew you better than everyone else, obviously he could tell that something was indeed upsetting you. But he also knew that you won’t bring it up right now, so instead, he settled on holding your hand all day, and being extra careful. Everytime he looked at you, you could see how worried he was even if he didn’t voice it. And you were feeling guilty because it was so rare for you to go out like this, and you were messing it up because of some stupid comments. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to ignore them, the words spinning in your head and spreading like poison in your veins. Until you got home, Seungmin didn’t say a word about your quiet and anxious attitude of the day, but as soon as you crashed with him on the couch, cuddled inside of your warm blankets, he was finally ready to investigate what troubled you.

“- What happened baby ? You've been so quiet since we left the restaurant…”

You didn’t dare to look up at him. Because you knew that you would melt if you saw his puppy eyes, pleading for an explanation. 

“- It’s stupid, don’t worry about it.”

Seungmin shuffled on the couch until he was facing you, his soft gaze making your heart beat faster, but also feel heavier. You didn’t want to hide things from him, you promised to be honest with each other even if it was not easy sometimes. 

“- It’s not stupid if you still think about it, and if it bothers you, then it’s bothering me. Tell me baby, you know I would never judge you.”

You nobbed at his words. Of course you knew that. He may act as if he was tough sometimes but behind closed doors, he was a softie. 

“- It’s just… The girls behind us, they made comments about my haircut and I… I don’t know, I started to feel a little self conscious. Does it look ugly ? Should I let them grow again ?”

You tried to remain calm, but it was obvious that your voice was shaking the more you talked. And suddenly a tear rolled down your cheeks, and you were sobbing loudly, all the emotions you kept for yourself today overflowing. Seungmin didn’t waste a second to engulf you in a warm, comforting hug, whispering sweet nothing in your ears and caressing your back to get you to calm down. He let you cry in his arms as long as you needed to, but he felt a weight on his chest. How could you doubt yourself when you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen ? When your breath finally became rhythmic again, Seungmin cupped your cheeks to force you to lift your head and look at him. The vision of your teary eyes and wet cheeks made him want to protect you from the world forever. 

“- Listen to me baby. You look perfect just as you are, you don’t need to change because other people don’t like it. And actually, they have really bad taste because this haircut suits you so well !”

His joke earned a quiet laugh from you, and a little smile that brought one to his lips too. 

“- More seriously, I find you beautiful, and no matter what your hairstyle, makeup or clothes will be, I’ll still love you. I love you when you just got out of bed in the morning and your hair is all ruffled and you’re still wearing your pajamas. And I also love it when you get all dressed up when we go out together. Either way, you’re gorgeous, the prettiest girl in the world, and I love you so much.”

When Seungmin saw your eyes watering again, he pouted, making you laugh again as several tears rolled down your cheeks again. But this time, it was just because your boyfriend was very cute, holding your face and grinning at you. 

“- Thank you Minnie, I love you too.

- You don’t need to thank me for that baby, I’m just doing my job as your extraordinary boyfriend.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, and Seungmin whined, but the bright smile on his face as he tightened his hug was telling you everything you needed to know.

“- Plus, your pixie cut makes you look like a fairy. And I think you might be one, because you really casted a spell on me.”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

skz taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@puppy-minnie @binwons @yoongles2025 @thicccurls

#skz x reader #skz x yn #stray kids fics #stray kids x reader #seungmin #kim seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #seungmin fluff #kim seungmin fluff #kpop #skz asks #skz fluff #eli answering your questions

[rannadylin]

I really did think I'd have Aeria finished much sooner than this after I started it at Christmas (it's been a busy semester. and a very LOTRO-full semester, which does not leave hands free for knitting, alas) but I knit the last stitches last Sunday, blocked it and trimmed the ends this week, and had it all done JUST in time to wear for Easter! So that actually worked out pretty well. As did the colorway (Knit Picks Chroma Fingering in Black and Pixie): I don't know how the sequence of colors ended up so symmetrical with the pinks in the very middle and blues/greens out at the wingtips, but I love that about it. It's also very soft and cozy, and this garter stitch short-row colorwork technique was hugely fun to knit (I'm gonna have to get the new Woolly Wormhead book, I need to do more of this kind of colorwork now...)

What also worked out well was finding the perfect dress to go with it, but I'll put the Easter dress photos behind a cut. :-D I don't wear sleeveless dresses often so this one had sat in my closet for a while but the little metallic stars printed on it are pretty much the exact same range of colors as the gradient yarn in the shawl.

#aeria shawl #ranna knits #knitting #knitblr

[levmada]

Hii! Congrats on starting your transition! ❤️ I hope you don’t find this too intrusive, but I really want to know your story with realizing who you really are and taking the steps to get there? (If that makes sense) and how is testosterone treating you? Also, do you still menstruate?

I ask this with curiosity, love and support 🙂

thank youuu<3 yeah i can :)

//tw gender dysphoria. also this is extremely personal just so yk👍

i knew something was off the second i started puberty hahahahahaha(🥲). i was 9 or 10 and didn't know what being transgender was, so, to be shamelessly honest, i refused to wear panties (i even hate that word honestly) and would just go commando until my mom gave in and got me "boy shorts". aka panties with an extra inch.

i hated the idea of bra. actually it made me sick. i couldn’t fucking stand living in my own skin at that point. despite growing them at 10, i was 12 or 13 before i gave in, but it was sports bras.

however there was a very short timeframe between that and learning about being transgender, so i'd do the double sports bra trick + 38943809 layers until i got a chest binder (which i don't remember how or when😭it might've been a loan from a trans friend when i was 13ish.)

never was a fan of makeup, dresses or long hair. funnily,,,,,, the only reason i got my ears pierced when i was like 8 was so i could get out of shopping for easter dresses.

meanwhile my mom wanted my hair long, but also around 8 or 9 i chopped that bitch. i'd chew on it (anxiety) and not brush it until it was like. all in knots so it would get cut. my mom stopped gaf, but everytime i got a short cut it was the cursed pixie cut most transmascs know too well lol, so i had it in a ponytail all the time. never liked it though

there were a lot of reasons i hated my body with every inch of my being, but i did cover up and layer all the time cuz of gender dysphoria. a core memory is going on vacation to florida in summer and sitting in front of a pool wearing jeans and a fucking black jacket😭like are you kidding me

i didnt rly comprehend being transgender (or lgbtq in general really) until i was 12 or 13. growing up on the internet, it continuously shocked me at that age what problems people had with gay people / queer people in general. it was the same for being trans, but i think i labeled myself straight and cis cuz i was already a fucked up individual with fucked up problems and i didnt want any more, especially one as heavy as being trans.

but it was too agonizing not to bind my chest, and i didnt shave my legs or underarms. i did use a nickname but it wasnt gender ambiguous whatsoever and it sucked.

along the way, while i was in choir, for a performance i had to wear a dress and i tried to shave my legs and put on makeup. when i saw pictures i didnt even know who that was, but it was wrong.

that’s not me.

but it has to be.

it's not supposed to be me.

i think i was 14 going into high school when i was like: pronouns? am i gay? chop all my hair off and be a Boy? yeah, and it helped i found a friend group that was queer.

from the very beginning of that, i was a trans guy. i rly don't remember what changed that? i think mainly my gender was a work in progress so nothing was sticking (they/she, they/he, they/them, and such). i think..... my earliest name.... wassss casper? aidan? lol

i got bullied/shamed out of the first name though. this was the mid 2010s where there was a lottttt of transphobia in the trans community.

i'll explain just in case. there were basically two parties: trannies who thought you needed gender dysphoria to be trans (transmedicalists), and trannies who thought you didn't (tucutes). in the former's opinion, there were "normal" trannies who "didnt make it their whole personality". if you didn't want top and bottom surgery + hormones? if you liked dresses or anything remotely fem? — you weren't trans.

you can probably see immediately how damaging this way of thinking is. a youtuber named kalvin garrah was basically the leader of the transmeds or truscum as they'd go on to be called lol, and i watched him religiously for reasons i can’t remember. youtube was still pretty new and it was hard to find youtubers whose channels was about being trans, and kalvin was always transparent about it from what i remember.

so yeah i got it into my mind that i couldnt be a transman bc i didnt fit exactly a transmed’s idea of what being trans means. i didn’t think i wanted bottom surgery for instance, but i was also FUCKING 15?? in no position to even be thinking about that.... and i also had a trans boyfriend at this point and he wasn’t gay so . that contributed. rip.

and like i first said, i got bullied out of being named casper because other queers and even some trannies thought i was being a "transtrender" which ties into all that.

for the bulk of high school and on (like 5 years) i was pretty firmly nonbinary and went by they/them pronouns. but also, there were a lot of reasons i wasn't in touch with my body and self so i was more or less oblivious, and the gender dysphoria blended in with the general self hatred?

yeah so imagine a super realistic robot coasting through life without any higher awareness. i was (dissociating) simply Not There so much that i don't think my personal problems or me in general ever was something i was cognizant of, let alone concerned about.

so that was me from age 17 to 21. i went by it/its pronouns for a while after something bad that happened, but not much change.

it was kind of a fluke really. as far as my gender went i was like 'yeah i’m okay with this whatever' while being objectively depressed, but i was depressed for so long about it that i became used to feeling helpless. didn't give a fuck about outfits, my body, even my hygiene much, and i hated mirrors.

"""""im okay with this""" yeah ok💀

i can’t even remember why i started testosterone😭i knew a shit ton about it and being trans for several years, so it was just...? spur of the moment...?

it turned out to be so easy it seemed too good to be true, but it wasn't, and i got my T prescription. during the initial appointment i chose to give myself subcutaneous injections on the spot...? i was hesitant about this idea, but perhaps it means something that this was the perfect method for me (compared to gel or intramuscular injections for example). i started on a little higher than average dose.

then my WHOLE world flipped upside down bc even the acne and the voice cracks were incredibly gender affirming. EVERYTHING felt so good and right + i realized there are 0 feminine things i can do/be that i'm anything but uncomfy with.

(not that there can’t be for you, but my experience is extremely binary)

it was jarring to change my gender after identifying as nb for soo long. i almost thought it was because i hated myself and my body, so i was only happy that i was looking different, not that i was looking the way i needed to. i gaslit myself a couple times into thinking i wasn't seeing any changes too lol.

in the first month, my menses stopped, and a lot more changes happened fast lol, like my voice dropping, smells changing and getting stronger, and hair growing.

perhaps within the first two months my mood became majorly destabilized. i already took a lot of psychiatric medications on account of having bipolar type 1, ptsd, and a slew of anxiety disorders lol. but it was then i actually started giving a fuck about THAT, too. as it turns out, getting off some of those meds / lowering my dose made me felt 100% better (like i could actually sleep and think clearly for instance).

and testosterone is still treating me extremely well :)

i mean it when i say every single aspect of my mental health improved extremely in a short span of time. i didn't realize i didn't know what it was to be actually happy or even okay till then.

it's pretty expensive, but it's worth it. so is top surgery which i got super recently.

since starting T, i have been scouring reddit and other forums to learn from others' experiences. that's how i was so prepared for top surgery for the most part. and it felt rly odd for me to read of how some people were/are scared of regretting it, or soon after surgery feeling that way/depressed. because god i'm so happy (not that anyone is wrong for feeling the way i described). i feel so free. of course it's disabling right now, and there's pain, and blood, but that quite literally means nothing to me because my chest is right, now. i didn't underplay it when i said that it has always been the biggest/worst source of my dysphoria. if i got a chance to redo things, i'd do it the moment i turned 18 (if possible sooner).

i am currently in the process of getting my legal name changed / my sex changed on my ID. meaning i need to turn in the request lol. i've put it on hold for now so that i can heal👍

that's everything so far i think. i plan on continuing medically transitioning, prob w/ phalloplasty (meaning, tissue is taken from somewhere else on my body and creates length for a penis + urethra so i can pee while standing up lol). but that'll be when i've been on T for a year (since surgeons generally advise giving the dick a chance to grow as much as possible from T lol).

so yeah :)

#this is my experience so if it doesnt line up with you or your understanding dont come at me pls<3 #transgender #ftm #kane has mail #kore #trans man

[wonolic]

Corina's physical appearance ! ⊂⁠( ･⁠◡⁠･⁠ ⊂⁠ ⁠)⁠ ∘ ˳⁠°

A/N: This is a remake of my original post about Corina's physical appearance with the new post style. Enjoy.

︵ ︵ ︵ ︵ . . . .

𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 ⤸

When it comes to Corina's face, I don't imagine something specific, like “oh, she's korean”, “oh, she's american” or “oh, she's spanish”. In short, I wanted something youthful, with soft features, but that can be mature at the same time.

A face that's easy to remember, and, putting it on DL's lore, people at school would easily remember Corina as "angry looking girl" because her resting face seems annoyed. Like, Corina is very used to naturally pushing away people and making them not get closer to her, so it's like she does it unconsciously.

So, considering what we discussed so far, I would consider Clara Galle as Corina's face claim.

(gifs credits: @afalsegcd)

She maintains her hair short, generally in pixie cut or chanel hair, long hair doesn't match her at all. Corina's hair is something that she really likes to take care of. It's not like she uses expensive things or recipes on it to make it better, no; let's say her hair was born to be poor. It always ended having a better result with the cheapest shampoo from the drug store close to the church.

Corina thinks she doesn't really look like her mom at all. The truth is that she's a mix between her father and her mother, but of course she didn't realize that because she "never" met her father.

Corina barely had any pimples on her face, her face skin is really good and really healthy since before and after puberty. Has been wearing sunscreen since she was a child, so this is a good explanation on why her face skin is so good, or maybe it's just genes, she doesn't really know.

𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 ⤸

Now, about Corina's body, I would say she's an hourglass pushed to the inverted triangle because of her biceps and shoulders. They're obviously not big like Subaru's, but it's definitely defined.

That girl was unlucky with her metabolism. Even if she's mesomorph, and theoretically, she can both gain weight and lose weight easily, she's more inclined to the "losing weight part". That girl is hyperactive + after starting living in the mansion, she gained bad eating habits. Or she eats too much, or she eats too little, there's no in-between where she eats well.

She's not too small in her own concept. Yes, Yuma does tease her about being a bit too small for her age, or sometimes making comments like "Didn't you drink milk when you were a child?" (fun fact: Corina actually hates milk, so yea, she never drank it).

Shortly and straight to the point, she heights 5'1"/158m and weights 94 pounds/43kg.

Has some body hair, most of her body doesn't, it's more concentrated on her arms, even tho they're blonde. One time, Reiji said that “Ladies shouldn't have body hair” (old fashioned man getting on her nerves), Corina's reaction was rolling her eyes then answering “You aren't a lady but you barely have body hair”. Girl had to run for her life after because Reiji was deeply offended.

She has pretty pale skin, not paper-like, but the type of pale that even the slightest touch with pressure leaves a red mark. Has some beauty marks around her body, principally on her shoulders, neck and belly, not too much, but her beauty marks are there. Corina can easily get a tan and is sensitive to the sun, like, if it's a sunny day and she doesn't use sunscreen on her face, already expects her to have her face entirely red in the end of the day.

A/N: Thank you for reading, see you in the next post! 💗

#☆ — [ oc . corina tanaka ] #diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers oc #reiji sakamaki #corina tanaka

[plasmasimagination]

Hello^^ I saw your match up and I was curious if I could get matched up :) (btw Congratulations on hitting over 300 followers!!!!!!

Fandom I'd like to be matched with: Honkai star rail

Character I'd like to not be matched with: Herta and Astra (I don't have anything against them I swear 😭)

Ok so my name is Kristina but I prefer close friends or family to call me Kristi or even Kris^^. I'm a cis female(she/her) lesbian + demi aroace, I'm a Capricorn with a Aries rising and a Capricorn Sun and Moon, Infj, my aesthetic is more like crowcore aesthetic (I adore trinkets and collecting them) and my favourite band is starset.

Appreciate wise I'm short with pale skin and slightly visible freckles, I have a dark brown wavy pixie cut and dark brown hooded eyes

Personally I'm really introverted and don't like to attract too much attention but I always had a thing and a hobby for creative work such as drawing, painting, writing, sculpting and now I've been able to pick up taxidermy, in which is one of my favourites alongside drawing, and thought years I've been praised for my talent but did get labeled as lazy because I don't put the same effort to things I don't like such as school/uni. And whenever I discover something that interests me such as phycology and astrology, I'll always put 100% of effort to find out more and more about it and after I'm sadisfied with my research I never feel burned out but when it comes to school work it drains me out completely within a really short time

(Bonus, my love language is gift giving, quality time and physical touch)

Anyways have a good day/night and don't forget to hydrate!!!!

HI THERE KRISTINAAAAAA. Okie so to get to the point I won't waste your time. . .

I match you up with . . .

GUINAIFEN

Hear me out, hear me out. I think you guys would get along just fine

I like to give every introvert an extrovert partner so they balance each other out, and I think you two would be cuties

I have a feeling that even if your personalities might not match at the first glance I enjoy to think that she would absolutely hype you up in everything you do

Shes your biggest admirer, your biggest fan, and she will sometimes post about your amazing artworks/creations, even though it may seem embarrassing she just wants to hype you up, but she'll stop if you don't want her to

As you said your love language is gift giving , I like to assume that you make cute artworks/ creative little handmade gifts to people

And oh god,Guinaifen would be whipped. She can and will hang it around her house and keep EVERY.SINGLE.THING you gave her.

She might seem like "too much" or "overhelming" but she's actually very calm when she's around you.

She usually keeps quiet and listens to you talk

Shes always there after you come back from school feeling stressed, she'll let you rant to her about everything that's on your mind, she'll definitely just sit there holding you in a hug and stroking your hair

She'll always feel bad about your burn outs and sometimes she doesn't even know what to do so she just sits there zoned out

But after she spent more time with you, she also adapted and figured out what to do when you're feeling that way

love you so much, don't forget to eat and drink babe :}

#guinaifen #x reader #honkai headcanons #honkai x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #hsr imagines #hsr spoilers #hsr x reader #hsr icons #hsr fanart #hsr

[lily-orchard]

What's a trope that you hate but could easily be done better?

Hair as development.

It's a pretty simple trope. People change their look and style when they feel it doesn't suit them. Your hair, your clothes, etc are all a way of expressing yourself.

But in practice, especially where female characters are concerned (but not exclusively) the ideas start and stop at "Just give her the same pixie cut/shaved sides that literally every gender non conforming woman has ever had, ironically."

In the case of men, it's "They have long hair? Time to give them a buzzcut!"

Here's the thing, it works if you actually have an idea for the character. Captain Marvel comes back in Endgame with a shorter hairstyle, and it very much suits her stiff, rigid, aggressively military posture. This is a woman who goes to a funeral but takes the time to make sure her pants are perfectly pressed. Nothing about her is relaxed. Everything is rigid and stoic. Even fighting Thanos she barely emotes.

And that's something reflected even before this. She lost her memories and was brainwashed by the Kree, but even when learning the truth of who she was, she never got those memories back. She's as disconnected from her previous self as if they were a stranger. Her conditioning as a Kree soldier and what little she can remember of aspiring to join the Air Force is pretty much all she is. Military has overtaken her entire personality.

That's very cool. Especially given it precedes learning that Monica is angry at her for abandoning her family, and setting up actually having to unpack the very real reality that an extreme wrong was committed against Carol and she's been violated in some way. Thankfully without all that Marcus shit this time.

Where it often doesn't work is when the writer is literally taking a shortcut to character development. They don't have a whole lot of ideas, but they know that changing a character's appearance is taken as a big deal so...

Just so I'm not ragging on She Ra too much, Scorpia is a much better example of "haircut signifies character" throughout the entire show. Probably because the EP wasn't projecting onto her.

This combines with the fallacy that "Short = Growth." There's plenty of ways to use hair to signify development, it's just that the development has to exist.

Maybe they're depressed and so their hair is always a mess and better mental health means tying it back or brushing it because now they have the energy for small tasks like that and are taking better care of themselves. Maybe you have someone who's grown cavalier and apathetic and so they don't bother doing anything with it and let it fall where it may.

Yeah I know I just described Alie and Rey, that's kinda my point here.

It's not a very difficult sell, it's just that some people are still stuck in the 1980's where "SHE CUT HER HAIR SHORT?!" is still considered a shocking swerve even after the 10,000th character does it.

This is especially true given that nine times out of ten (and especially with the one above) the thought process is "make the character look more like the executive producer."

It's important to remember that the most immediately recognizable aspect of a character is their silhouette. And a lot of character design tropes strip that away.

It's obvious this trope can be "done well" but the problem is that there's isn't a shortcut to "doing it well." When people ask "how do I do X trope well" they're looking for a one size fits all answer so they don't have to think. It's Maslow's Hammer.

But for this trope, there really is no faking it. It's pitifully obvious when you've thought about it and when you haven't because it's the same two haircuts every single time when you haven't. You need fresh ideas that you've actually thought about and you need to really re-examine the insidious gender roles you've internalized and can't break away from.

[lizard-dumbass]

I wrote a (young) Raeda ficlet because I think about them a normal amount

(the fic will be under the cut because I don't want to clutter your dashboards and I am being mildly bashful about sharing my work)

I present to you all:

Braiding Hair

Sitting on the ground, Eda tapped her feet impatiently against the dirt as Raine braided her thick orange hair. She wasn't quite sure why they asked to do so in the first place, but she didn’t mind. Raine had claimed their spot on the large rock behind Eda, giving them additional height. They brushed Eda's hair inbetween braiding to make the job easier, as she didn’t brush it herself very often.

“Tell me how you know how to braid hair again?” The young witch asked. “My moms taught me. It’s pretty easy, so I learned to braid my hair on my own pretty quickly.” Raine answered. Eda’s eyes widened at the implication. She lifted her chin from her forearms which were rested on her elevated knees. “Wait a minute, are you saying that you used to have long hair?” She asked excitedly. Raine's cheeks turned red with embarrassment, but they were relieved Eda couldn’t see it with her back turned to them. “Well, yeah.” The green haired witch answered with an awkward chuckle. “Aww, why’d you cut it? I bet you’d look cute with long hair.” Eda expressed half-jokingly. Raine's blush turned a deeper shade of red at the comment. With a laugh, they answered: “Trust me, I did myself and everyone else’s eyes a favor by chopping it off.”

Eda threw her head back to look up at her friend, her temples now between their knees. “If you grew your hair out, I could braid it for you.” She offered with a smile. “There’s no way that’s happening, Eda.” Raine happily declined. They gently placed their left hand underneath Eda’s head and lifted it back up and forward to its original position, then continued braiding.

“Jokes aside, though, I get it. Why you cut your hair, I mean. I thought about getting a pixie cut a few months ago but I decided it just didn’t fit me. I couldn’t hide stuff in short hair.” Eda explained. “I think it would do you some good to have short hair, I had to pick out three soda cans from there before getting started.” Raine replied, making Eda glance at said soda cans which had been placed in their open bag. “Is that why you’re braiding my hair? To stop me from smuggling anything else?” She asked with a chuckle. Raine laughed along with her before answering. “Consider it a bonding activity.”

After tying the ends of the three hair segments together, the braid was complete. “Alright, I’m done.” Raine announced. Eda stood up, making her braided hair slip out of Raine’s hands. She took a few steps away from her sitting spot and turned back around to face her friend. She looked down at the ground, held her hands behind her back and rubbed at the dirt with her foot, an unusually shy looking gesture for her, while waiting for Raine’s reaction. Raine put their hands together and quietly admired the sight, they hadn’t expected her to look quite as pretty as she did. “What’re you staring at, nerd?” Eda said to break the silence. Raine realized that they were indeed staring and looked away, trying to quickly think of something to say. “Uhm, nothing! We should probably get going, this forest is starting to feel more eerie the longer we stay here.” They responded as they got down from their rock and grabbed both their and Eda's belongings. “What, you scared something’s gonna attack us?” Eda teased. Just then, the witchlets heard a stick break in the distance. With a nervous chuckle, Eda grabbed her bag and said: “Actually, we should probably go.”

The two headed off to go home. On the way, Eda repeatedly asked Raine to show her pictures of them pre-haircut, much to their annoyance. The two also kept their eyes peeled for anything that could potentially attack them from the woods, but they both knew they’d protect eachother no matter what.

#the owl house #raine whispers #eda clawthorne #young raeda #raeda #raine x eda #fanfic #that's a tag now #i definitely won't use it for a while after this because it's not often that i write fiction lol #edalyn clawthorne #lizard dumbass's writing

[rhapsodyred-writes]

So! This one might be a little strange but I cut my hair! :D

It wasn't that long but now it's just a little past my ears.

And since this is an ask, I want to see... how would (your choice) characters respond to their S/o who used to have waist long hair cutting it to be like a pixie cut? (The reason they did that was so they could donate their hair. My mom did that once)

They'd all be really proud of you!

Dani thinks you look super cute with your new hairstyle! Isn't short hair so much more freeing? You don't have to worry as much about it tangling or getting in your face. And, of course, she's so proud of you for donating it! Someone out there is going to be so happy to have that hair!

Xilixas loves how you look, but also how you act. It's almost like cutting your hair has given you a new kind of confidence, and he's into it. He knows it can be weird to adjust to such a drastic change in hair length, considering he used to have pretty long hair himself, so he'll be happy to help you out. This might include reminding you that you don't need that much shampoo anymore. Of course, he's never been more proud of you than when you told him where your chopped-off hair is going.

Avlaroess needs a while to adjust. Actually, he almost didn't recognize you when you came back from your hair appointment. He'll miss running his fingers through your long hair, but what he loves most about you isn't your hair as much as your personality. He loves you. He will adapt to your short hair, and love you no less for it. He thinks very highly of your choice to donate it, as well. It's for a noble cause.

Fihn is excited for you, in his calm, subdued way. The two of you match now, isn't that great? Tahlen, on the other hand, is a little put out. You two matched before you cut your hair, so he feels a little...left behind, in a sense. Rationally, he knows that wasn't your intention. Both of them think it's pretty cool that you donated it.

Dezyn does a double take when he sees you post-haircut. You're...so different now. He knows you're the same person, but you look way different. He hadn't really realized just how much hair you had until it wasn't there anymore. He needs a bit to adjust to the change, but he'll be the same Dez the whole time: little regard for personal space, frequent naps, often misplacing things. Functionally, nothing changes. It goes without saying that he's proud of you for donating it.

Briar is a little disappointed, actually. Your hair is too short for her to play with now. She'd really enjoyed braiding it up with ribbons before, but now she can't anymore. It's a bit of a blow, but she'll get used to it. Mostly she's just glad to have an s/o who is as kind and giving as you are.

#shark friend #red answers #dani #xilixas dugan #avlaroess #fihn & tahlen #dezyn santiago #my ocs #briar #red's rent frees #red writes (lazily)

[hadestownhamilton]

OoO

I am writing a book and I need you guys opinion on if I should continue to write it.

 Don’t look back

By: Eli Frymire

There is mention of several books and movies but all book and movie rights go to the people that made that specific book and/or movie. 

    I never thought life was supposed to be like this, on TV it’s all like one big comedy. Momma used to say that when she was still around, I miss her but Papa always says to ‘Never look back and charge forward, then you accomplish all your goals.’

I don’t believe him but I’m willing to try. 

  “Me Reyna,” Papa calls from downstairs “It’s time for dinner!”

   I walk down in my brother Nine’s army pants that manage to fit me just right barely, a white-ish T-shirt and combat boots. My hair is a super short light brown pixie cut, I love it but dad does not. I see my Papa made Tacos for us, I sit down across from him.

    “Me Reyna, can you go get Nine for me. Tell him it’s time for dinner.” He says already eating.

“Papa, Nine isn't here anymore, remember?” I respond, Papa stops eating and looks at me questioningly.

“Then where is he?” Papa asks.

“Papa, he died two months ago, remember?”

“My boy isn’t dead, he's upstairs, probably talking to Carolina.”

     I look at my father with concern, my big brother Nine died two months ago in the army. At his funeral only three families showed up, My dad and I, my friend James and his parents to support us, and Nine’s fiansay Carolina who is pregnant with his child. I know you're like ‘Why has a 15 year old girl experienced this much loss’ and ‘What about the baby?’ and stuff like that. I am actually fine, I haven't had the time to mourn my brother because I need to help mi Papa and Carolina with the baby. I like it like this it is much easier, I grab mi Papa’s forearm.

  “Papa, have you taken your medicine?” I ask knowing the answer. Papa has Alzheimer's disease, It affects memory meaning he will start to forget everything and everyone. It’s not common for people who are 47, it’s called early-onset. Yet he manages to have it. I stand up and get his pills, I put it in his Taco because he says it taste like slavery even though that isin’t a taste. When people want the definition of Mexican I show them mi Papa, he loves all things Mexican and will only speak english to me. I don’t know why but he does. We eat our Taco’s in silence and when were both done I put our dishes away. I turn around to see Papa putting on his coat to go outside. I rush to try to take his coat away from him, but he pushes me away gently.

  “I can do this by myself.” he mutters.

“It’s 8:00 pm on a Friday, you shoulnt be out and about.” I tell him sternly.

“Mi Reyna, I am an adult and I can go visit my granddaughter whenever I want.” he says finishing putting on his coat. 

  I already know that I can't stop him so I get the car keys and hop in the car. I have my learners permit so I get in the driver's seat and Papa gets in the back because he says that there's more space back there. I make sure that I have Papa’s drivers license, my permit and that Papa is all ready. I drive about 3 miles to Carolina’s house, I park and get out. Papa and I ring the doorbell and out comes a very pregnant Carolina.

  “Senor Martines y Reyna! ¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?” She says, the translation is Mr.Martinez and Reyna! What are you doing here? 

  “Estás aquí para ayudar y visitarte.” Mi Papa says, ``We're here to help and visit you. I force a smile, Carolina is nice but sometimes she tends to want things her way and her way only.

“Come on in,” Carolina says “We have a lot of boxes so watch out.” I carefully step over a box. Most of them are closed so I don't know what's in them, I kind of want to open one to snoop but I won't. I follow them to the kitchen where Carolina gets some water, she silently offers a glass to each of us. 

I respectfully decline while Papa accepts, we all go to the couch in a different room. The room is gray with dark gray tiles, and a nice green carpet. I slump down on a yellow chair next to the gray couch, it is a darker gray than the walls but lighter then the floor. There was an aqua blue coffee table where Carolina and Papa put their waters, I prop my feet up on it.

  “Why don’t you go through your brother's stuff in his room mi Reyna?” Carolina asks gesturing to the room across the hall, she suggests this because she wants to talk to Papa alone, most likely because I’m over here taking care of him instead of the other way around. I nod and walk to my brother’s room, he and Carolina don’t sleep in the same room because they both are super nice and don’t want to pressure the other.

  I enter the room and am greeted by the smell of lavender, I always made fun of him for liking it but I always secretly loved it myself, it reminds me of him. His room is all army stuff, camo bed, camo curtains, kakie carpets and a wood headboard. He even has a safe with shotguns just in case but he never has had to use them, most of his stuff are in boxes. I open one of them to find a picture of him, Mama, y Papa when Mama was still around. Nine always said that Mama was the nicest person ever but after I was born she couldn't handle it. She left when I was one and Nine was 13, it was a hard time for Papa so Nine pretty much raised me. 

  I put the picture down and remove some of the boxes on his bed, I put them in the corner of his room, lay down on his bed and look at the ceiling. I get my phone and shuffle songs on Spotify, Heathens by Twenty One Pilots starts playing and I mutter the lyrics under my breath.

    I finish the song and hear someone clapping lightly. I turn my head and see James, my best friend at the door, I pause the music and run into his arms.

“What are you doing here?” I ask letting go of him.

“I saw your Dad’s car and came over.” He says pointing in the direction of the car with his thumb. I ruffle his hair and pull him to the bed, he sits in the middle and I sit on his lap, we aren't dating, it’s just always been that way. We’ve known each other since we were 5, at that time Nine was dating his sister Brittney, it wasn't awkward when they broke up because it was on good terms. They both decided it was time to separate so they did, they were still best friends though. 

   “Do you think we’ll be in the same class?” James asks.

“Maybe? I don’t know.” I respond. I hope we’re in the same class because I won’t know anyone else there.  We have been in the same class since first grade, it was a special request by mi Papa and James parents to help me cope. I don’t need help but I will always accept it, I lean back and grab one of Nine’s art books. 

   I open it to reveal a beautiful drawing of me as a baby, the amount of detail in it is astounding. James holds one side of the book while I hold the other, I point at my eyes.

“Do my eyes look that blue?” I ask. 

“Not anymore, they're more like ocean blue than just blue.” he said looking into my eyes. I flipped the page and found a drawing of James and I covered in mud in the backyard. James had a bucket on his head and I had the stupidest side grin on my face. It was the most realistic drawing I have ever seen, it looked unreal and yet my brother did it. James chuckles and I smile, “Do you remember that day?” I ask.

“Remember it?! I loved that day.” He replies grinning.

Me and James then decided to go through the rest of Nine’s stuff, it felt like minutes but when I looked at the time it had been about an hour. 

   I nudge James so he looks at the time, it’s 9:00, he puts a book he was holding down and he and I go to Carolina and Papa. Papa has his hand pressed gently on Carolina’s stomach, Carolina has a sweet smile looking at Papa and he has the biggest grin on his face.

   James and I sit next to Papa, “Papa, it’s time to go home.” I say gently.

“Did you know that just before you were born I used to do this with your Mum.” Papa says, still looking at Carolina’s stomach. James rests his hand on Papa’s shoulder, “You have to go home so the baby can rest so it’s big and strong.”

Papa is silent for a moment, he gets up and grabs his coat muttering “Big and strong.” Papa went to the car and waited, I said goodbye to Carolina and James, then drove Papa home. Papa went to bed and then I read The Throne of Glass until 10:00 then went to bed.

—-----------------------------------------------

I woke up to the sound of glass breaking, I look at my clock and see it says 6:45 am. I groan and roll out of bed putting on my outfit from yesterday, walk down stairs to see Papa standing around a broken plate. I rub my eyes and clean it up, Papa hasn't moved from his spot, staring at the now clean ground.

    “Papa, I have to go to school. See you later, Love you.” I say running upstairs to get my stuff for school. Papa seems to have just noticed my presence and is following me, I give him a hug and kiss goodbye and run outside to see James with his bike. I grab my skateboard and follow him to school, “Did your parents cry when you left?” I ask him.

“Like a baby.” he replies grinning, I giggle. I stop, grab my phone and start playing ‘Teenagers’ by My Chemical Romance, I caught up to James. “TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME!!” we both scream/sing along with the song. Once we get to school I turn off my phone, put my skateboard up with James’ bike, and we walk to our first period. James and I have Reading as our first class, we both sit in the middle of the class and read our books until class starts. All the kids walk in and we don’t care until I see our arch nemesis Jessie, she is the definition of perfect, tan skin, green eyes, long blond hair pulled into a ponytail. What makes it worse is that we used to be friends until sixth grade when she said people who like Marvel are losers. I didn't care because then I met James, and I was happy, except when Jessie would bully us. Jessie walks up to us, snatches my book out of my hands and throws it across the room. 

“What are you doing here? You aren't smart enough for AP classes.” she smirks.

James puts down his book and stands up ready to fight, I put my hand in this forearm, he sits back down. “I was put here.” I calmly state. Her smirk wavers, “If you were put here then say a smart word.” she commands getting her smirk back. “Prodigious, meaning wonderful or marvelous.” I reply. She storms away to the seat in front of me, I go, grab my book and continue reading.

Schedule

Reading- Ms. Jones

Math- Mr. Budkis

Free Period

Lunch

P.E.

It was like this all day, Jessie would go out of her way and bulie us as everyone else laughed. It went on like this for about a month so it’s October now. I’m at home thinking about what I can do to make it stop when I get a text from James.

James✨

what are you doing?

just thinking about life.

stop thinking

tell me why

Because I need you to come over.

aren't your parents not there    

u could get in trouble

I don’t care it is an emergency

kk im on my way

Bye bae

Did you just call me Bacon and Eggs?

Yes😆

I get my skateboard and ride to James’ house, I pull up to see him waiting on his front porch for me. I walk up to him and he stands up, grabs my elbow and rushes to the door before stopping. He looks at me with concern, “Do you promise to not get mad.” I then chuckle, “I promise.” He opens the door and we step inside. I then see her, the woman who made my life Hell, the woman who left my family all alone, I see my Mother sitting on the couch in a light blue dress clutching a light green handbag. “Hello, sweetheart.” she says walking to me, she stops a foot away from me. 

“Hello Mother.” I say with a poker face. I look at James with murder in my eyes, “Why is she here?” I hissed at him. He visibly pales, “Well I need to talk to you.” Mother answers for him. I look at her with the same expression, she walks towards me. “You look like the exact mixture of your Father and I, I read that your brother died. Such a shame, he had such a bright future.” she says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shove it harshly, she cringes, good. 

“First of all, his name is Nine. Secondly, he had the best future possible and lastly, go away before I get Papa.” I walk out, ‘accidentally’ run into James’ shoulder and drive home. I run upstairs and flop into my bed, I get out my computer and get on Google Meets. I see that Vivian got on, she is another one of my friends but doesn't go to my school anymore. 

I go type in the chat,

 Привет как дела?  (Hi, How are you doing?)

  Твоя мама 😘 (Your Mom)

Why are we talking in russian?

It’s just weird.

Why are you using punctuation

Because I can.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

                                                        Absorbent and yellow and porous is he

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

If nautical nonsense be something you wish

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Why are we doing this

SPON- wait what?

Something’s wrong with you

BYEEEEE!

Totally not deflecting this conversation.

I close my computer and try not to get mad at the fact that Vivian already knew something was wrong. I go downstairs to see Papa making a puzzle, he puts all the corner pieces on. 

“Papa, are you ok?” I ask sitting next to him, he ignores my question and continues putting the puzzle together not acknowledging my existence. I get bored and decide to go to bed since it’s 8:00 pm, I have a dreamless sleep.

                                          _______________________

I wake up and look into the mirror to see me in all my awful glory. I put on a short white workout shirt with leggings and an oversized long sleeve buffalo plaid shirt, I grabbed my black high top platform converse and got my black backpack to walk to the bus stop. I run down stairs and kiss Papa on the cheek and say bye.

I approach the bus stop to see James waiting impatiently, I stand next to him but make no move to acknowledge his existence or talk to him. He makes the first move, “I didn’t think that you’d show up considering you're mad at me.” James commented, still looking forward. 

“Just because I'm mad at you doesn't mean I’ll let you get beat up on the bus.” I retorted. The bus arrives and I get on and head straight for the back, James sits next to me and we sit in awkward silence until we get to school. The bus stops and we get off to go to our lockers, there right next to each other which is disappointing when you want to avoid and ignore the person next to you. We get our stuff and get to class, instead of sitting in the middle I sit in the back so no one will notice me. James on the other hand sits in the very front, a kid sitting next to me that has black pants, red converse, a Marvel shirt, a black zip up hoodie with their hood over their head, I couldn’t see their face but they have blond hair dyed blue at the ends. I realize I am staring and get my book out of my bag and read, about five minutes pass and the kid who I've named Darling taps my shoulder. 

I lower my book to look at them, “Yes?” I ask not really wanting to talk to people. “I see your reading Throne of Glass, I personally prefer Pride and Prejudice if you ask me.” They reply, I roll my eyes. 

“Well I didn’t so if you excuse me.” I hissed glaring at them before going back to reading. I hear them shift uncomfortably in their seat, I feel guilty for being rude, I put my book down and shift to face them. 

“Sorry, I’m having a bad day, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” I mutter. They face me and smile, I take this time to notice their features. Their hair is an inch past their shoulder, green eyes and light brown skin contrasting my very light brown skin and even more contrasting James’ dark brown skin. 

They stick out their hand for me to shake, “It’s ok, Eli.” they say as I shake my hand with her.

Kk dudes tell me if I should keep in writing.

#writer #writing #creative writing #Eli

[pinejayy]

|| Jayy's Matchup Info UWU

My name is Jayy, and my age is 25 and my sexuality is bisexual but I prefer bad boys or villains uwu

I’m a female, my pronouns are she/her.

Appearance!!

I’m 4’11 and I weigh about 98 pounds.. so I'm very tiny compared to most people. I also have freckles across my body especially my face, neck and stomach. Sometimes I get insecure about them. I have short brown hair, it's pixie cut. I also have 14 tattoos across my body and that includes one on my chest, both arms, spine, right lower leg and both of my thighs.

Dress appearance!!

I love dress in all black all year long. I love leaning in towards the gothic look, or grude look. I love wearing black lipstick whenever I can or go out. I also love doing a black smokey eye look with my black lipstick. I enjoy wearing my tall platforms and big chokers. I also love wearing coresets and fishnet leggings.

My hobbies!!

Playing Videogames // favorite game is mortal kombat and I love any kind of combat/fighting game.

Collecting Plushies // my favorite ones are cute pink ones actually or anything strawberry related. // I have an unhealthy obsession with plushies oof.

I'm also a huge nerd for collecting comic books uwu // and action figures of my favorite characters.

Drawing or writing // I mostly write fan fics but I also love writing spooky stuff for myself.

Likes!!

Plushies, Strawberry Milk, Sweet Treats such as Brownies, Boba, Spicy Food especially Spicy Ramen. Horror movies, Killer or Creepy Clowns, Gore or Bloody movies.

I also enjoy Music and I also need my earphones to go through the day. My favorite kind of music are heavy metal or anything rock. But I also like anime openings and pop.

I also have this comfort plushie that I sleep with every night and hold it like my life depends on it. And if anyone touches that certain plushieI will beat them up.

I also have a love for helping animals in need! My favorite animals are Dogs, Hedgehogs and Sharks.

I secretly have a thing for sharp nails and teeth oof.

Dislikes!!

I hate centipedes with a burning passion if I ever see one I will cry myself in a corner.

I also hate loud noises, like fireworks and such. I also don't like when a place is too crowded.

I don't like when people judge me my appearance because oof it's just clothes, like if they wanna tell me something they can say it to my face.

Personality!!

I speak my mind no matter what, I can be rude but in a playful kinda way, I’m also very creative person. And i'm also quite sensitive and especially when it comes to animals. But oh boy I do have a loud mouth! And at first I'm shy and quite but once you get to know me get ready for my crackhead energy and non sense. I also have a dark sense of humor.

I’m definitely a loud mouth, and I can be very sassy and sometimes I don’t know when to shut up.

I’m kind but firm. I can also be very sensitive as well, and I’m also quite stubborn. And I’m a person who can tolerate a lot.

My relationship weaknesses are probably that since I speak my mind a lot I would probably tell if something wrong I will tell you. But I probably won’t sugar coat it. And I’ll probably be mean about it uwu

I’m also quite a loud mouth and oof tend to be a bit rude. And I’m a gal who speaks her mind out and I will tell you the harsh truth.

#jayyspeaks

[langleyhoover68]

Fashion For Women Over 50

This year the pixie cut recently been worn by a lot of celebrities. A couple of them include: Emma Watson, Rihanna, Halle Berry, and Ginnifer Goodwin. The pixie can look great on almost any face shape as long as is actually done best suited. If you have a high forehead go for a prolonged side-swept bang like Rihanna, it hides your forehead and brings attention inside your eyes. For have a round face, a pixie will are employed by you too, but be sure to practical gifts sides very short despite the fact that top is kept often. Women with oval faces and/ or high cheekbones can also wear pixies and get a them cut in whatever style they like. You also need to Printed Womens High Tops learn the do's and don'ts of great gesture. In "How to Be Irresistible to Women," I throw a great associated with lessons on body language that will teach you the right ways--and the wrong ways--to project high status. Mistake #2. Staying far away from Weight training from concern about getting Mammoth.- Okay so by now you know one thing or two about muscle building and recognize you wont grow big arms like Arnold Schwarzenegger just a person are someone and you utilize weights when you train. However, I understand that deep inside many women are still unsure that despite what their intellect tells all. After all, not don't practice women want the exaggerated big and bulky look of a bodybuilder, merely the thought to be it is sufficient to anyone chills. There is hope! Are usually no longer satisfied the particular traditional system of selling it to the the surface of the pay buffer. Sometimes the price is too high. Although those certainly is the best paying careers for women, the career can own your leave you with little flexibility. Many women are homemakers as well as providers, giving them enormous . This can lead to feeling underpaid and unappreciated, considering what the male colleagues are working for. So how does a woman find the career that fits your foot in whilst responsibilities shoulders, gives her the challenge she desires, the pay she deserves, and makes her feel valued? womens high top sneakers Having a readership of my articles each week that put me a top 1% of preachers in my country, and videos that are watched by many, I'm very manufactured to advice specifically changing behaviours in existence that aren't good. I am 42 just one of my best friends is my pastors daughter at 25. I told her just three weeks ago that in fat loss products . year I'd made 7 major changes in my life because of her professional suggestions.

Slip on shoes vary the most when looking design and destination. Slip on shoes are created so nothing is needed guide the shoe on the women's toe of the feet. There are slip ons possess no heel and there are a couple that have heel and toe in order to the digits. The designs can be made to fit a casual, formal or athletic events.

#womens high tops

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Forging Ties - Chapter 3 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

"Ah, come here, come here," one of the Taylors called out, waving them over.

"Grab some bricks and put them in the pile."

The three of them exchange looks but none of them seemed to have any objections.

Slone shrugged.

"Might as well."

"What are you building?" Hamish asked as he brought a brick back to the pile.

"A house," one of the Taylor's who was dressed in a waistcoat and suspenders said. "Or something like that. A place that we live in where we don't get rained on and predators can't eat us. Guess that's a house."

"How are you going to stick the bricks together?"

"Glass," the Taylor said. "The pixies make it."

"Wouldn't that be fragile?" Hamish asked.

"I don't know. Do we look like constructionists to you? No, we're tailors. There's a great big massive spire over there made of glass and that's still standing, though and our house will be mostly bricks."

"You know, I don't really know either," Hamish admitted.

"Sounds cool, though."

Duran crouched down to dig a half buried brick out of the dirt.

He'd just about wriggled it free when he felt something tug at his hair.

"Ow," Duran said, trying to yank his head away from the Taylor who had grabbed a fistful of his hair. "Quit it."

Hamish stood, a frown on his face.

He hadn't moved yet but he looked ready to intervene.

"Everything okay?"

Duran grabbed the Taylor by the back of their shirt and lifted them up and finally they let go.

He gave the Taylor a little shake.

"You're way too disrespectful for something that would lose a fight to a toddler."

"I just want some of your hair," the Taylor said, reaching out to try to grab at it again.

"You can have it but I'm not a fan of having it ripped out of my scalp. Do you have any scissors?"

One of the Taylor's scoffed.

"We're tailors. Of course we have scissors."

Another one of the Taylor's produced a normal pair of scissors of the size a human would use, which they struggled to even lift properly.

Duran grabbed them away before they could get any ideas.

"I wanted to cut my hair anyway. You're not doing it, though. Hamish, Slone, are either of you any good at cutting hair?"

"Eh..." Slone said. "I mean, I can hack it off..."

"I've been cutting Simon's hair for years," Hamish said. "How do you want it?"

"Short," Duran said. "I don't really care. I just want it out of the way."

They found part of the porch stairs that was still sturdy and Duran sat down on the steps with Hamish kneeling on the porch behind him.

Hamish swept Duran's hair up and the bulk of it was removed with a single snip to the delight of the Taylors.

Duran shut his eyes and dipped his head forward as Hamish got stuck into the task.

It felt like Hamish knew what he was doing but if he didn't, Duran didn't really care.

His looks were no longer the most important thing about him.

Though, he wasn't sure what about him actually was important now.

Maybe nothing and maybe that was okay.

More than anything, he wanted to just not care about pleasing anybody else anymore.

"Thanks," Duran said after a while.

"Hmm?" Hamish enquired, his attention focussed on snipping the hair around Duran's ear.

"Thanks for just doing it and not making it a big deal. I wanted to get it cut but it seemed like every time I mentioned it to someone, they'd start going on about how my hair is so nice and everything and they don't want me to cut it. I know they probably didn't mean anything by it but still..."

"I'm just very confident in my own hair cutting abilities. You're one of the two handsome men I get to look at on my travels, so don't think I have no investment in your physical appearance."

"Oh, so you won't fuck me but I'm free eye candy? I see how it is."

Hamish brushed hair off of the back of Duran's neck.

"I'm still trying to figure out if fucking you is a good idea or not but I know checking you out is."

"Right, well, you let me know when you've worked it out."

"Oh, you'll know," Hamish said.

Slone was still busy collecting bricks.

The Taylors seemed particularly fond of him, praising him and giving him little pats each time he brought a brick back.

By the time Hamish was done cutting Duran's hair, Slone had gathered all of the loose bricks scattered around the area and piled them up and was sitting chatting with the Taylors.

Duran didn't have a mirror but he ran his hands over his hair and it felt tidy enough.

And short. Definitely short.

"Right, well, we should get going," Slone said. "Good luck with the house."

"Good luck walking places," one of the Taylor's said. "Don't get eaten by a fox. Happens to the best of us sometimes."

"Can't say I've had any problems with 'em but things can get weird out in the woods," Slone said. "I'll come and see how you're going on my way back through. Might be a bit, though. Who knows."

The Taylor nodded.

"I'm just gonna assume you got eaten by a fox until I see you again. Bye."

As they started walking again, Duran used his magic to brush away the short, spikey bits of hair that were all over the back of his neck and down his shirt.

"They seemed to like you," Hamish said to Slone.

"Ah, yeah," Slone said. "We go way back. Spent a summer skipping lessons to help them build when I was a kid. Normally it'd be Emity's job to deal with me being a little rascal but she was away when I first got into it, so Zunda had to come work things out. Took her a while to find it funny when one of the Taylors wouldn't stop saying I was their big strong son who they gave birth to a week ago."

Hamish let out a bark of laughter.

"I love them. Such weird little assholes."

"Yeah, they're funny," Slone said. "I'm glad we stopped to help."

"It's been like an hour and I can still see where we started but same," Hamish said. "This is exactly the kind of adventure I was hoping for."

"Well, I got a haircut, so I'm not complaining," Duran said.

Hamish ran his hand over Duran's hair.

"Hmm. I did a good job."

Despite the lost time, they were in no hurry to get anywhere.

Slone tracked a deer for a while and then when they finally found it, they crouched and watched it silently until it ran off deeper into the woods.

Slone explained that he wouldn't take down prey that size when he knew he wouldn't be able to use all of the meat.

There was something about just being out in nature that made Duran feel lighter, less suffocated.

It was only when he'd been travelling with Fanner and Yore that he'd realised how much he liked the outdoors.

Before that, he'd never been anywhere more wild than a well manicured back garden.

When they started to hear the rumble of thunder late in the afternoon, Slone frowned up at the sky.

"Could be a problem."

"Are there any caves or friendly settlements nearby?" Hamish asked.

"Ah, well..." Slone said. "Guess I didn't really think about that. On four legs, everything's pretty near. Takes a lot longer to get places on two."

"Let's keep an eye out," Hamish said. "If worst comes to worst, I guess we huddle under a tree together and wait it out."

Slone made a face.

"It ain't great, though, huh? I mean, I can rough it and Duran will prob'ly be fine but humans die from that kinda thing, right? Exposure?"

Hamish shot him a grin.

"What, you're not going to keep me warm?"

"If you want a hug, you can just ask. Don't gotta be dying of exposure."

"Or a kiss," Duran added. "Apparently nothing bothers this man."

Hamish laughed.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, he did that," Slone said, a smile on his face. "Can't say it's for me but I ain't upset about it."

"Well, I'm jealous now."

Slone pressed his hands to the sides of Hamish's face and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

"Happy?"

"You know what?" Hamish asked. "I am."

As the sun went down, the temperature grew colder and the first drops of rain began to fall.

"Think it's about time to give up on finding any kinda cave or anything and just hunker down," Slone said.

"You can make heat, yeah, Duran?"

"Ahh... some," Duran said. "My body will keep itself warm but I don't think I can actively heat Hamish up all night. I'm not some special thing like Danya or Fanner. I'm just a Companion. The things I can do are fairly weak and limited."

"Trust me, being sandwiched between two men is pretty warm even without any magic," Hamish said as he sat down beneath the biggest tree in the area.

"We may have to get naked to maximise the exchange of body heat but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

The three of them huddled down together as thunder rumbled and finally the skies fully opened up and began pouring rain down onto them.

What had started as a nice excuse for a cuddle soon turned into an uncomfortable and miserable experience.

[twilight-resonance]

Hair

Considering writing a sort of narrative how-things-are-going reflective post, and paying the toll by writing on a random noun topic again. This one's easy, though, 'cause I had this topic queued up after last time - it's hair!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you knew me in meatspace, you would know why this makes sense as a topic for me to ramble about. You see, my hair is very long - just about down to my knees. I have cut it twice ever in my life - more to say on that in a bit - and, while this is the longest it's ever been, it's been comparable lengths for most of my time on this planet.

It's a lot to take care of. I'm generally fairly low-maintenance on my appearance, and despite that it takes a lot of time. Brushing it, especially when it's wet, takes forever; and you can forget about showers under 20min long if I'm washing it (which needs to happen fairly frequently). It passed the point a couple years back when I can no longer have it unbound while going about my daily life - if I'm working, or doing anything moderately physical, it has to be tied back or it will get in the way and be a huge matted mess when I get home. It's long enough that I accidentally stand on it sometimes if I crouch down to do something, it's ridiculously heavy - you don't realize how heavy it is until you actually pick it all up and feel all the weight that's been lifted from my neck - and the hair spiders that it generates are unlike any others I've seen. It takes four to six hours to dry in the winter, it gets caught on everything, and when we're at home it's sometimes like managing a third person when we're trying to sit at the couch or cook or craft or go to sleep or anything else like that.

And - despite all of that - I love it. I love the idea of short hair too - like I said, I've cut it twice - but the long hair feels like me in a way that is hard to give up.

The two times that I cut it were decades apart. The first time was when I was seven years old or so, and I don't remember why I wanted to; but I did, and I was happy with it. I cut it to shoulder length, and then let it grow.

The second time was a much bigger thing. I was seventeen, and about to go on a study abroad class that was going to make taking care of it hard; the plan was to get it braided in cornrows, and my mom's condition for doing so was chopping off all the scraggly ends that she hated (more on that in a bit). I agreed, but the barber cut off way more than I wanted and I was devastated; so I went and cut the rest off myself, into a very short pixie cut. There was a lot more bound up in that haircut: a lot of pieces about identity, agency, and a deeper kind of pain. Not unlike, in a lot of ways, my own moment akin to that scene in the animated Mulan movie (of all things). I trimmed it in the front and let it grow long into a mullet in the back for a while, then eventually let the rest of it grow once the mismatch between the two became too much. It was cute - I look cute in a mullet.

That was the last time that I cut it. It's been more than a decade since then. Both times, my hair used to cap out around my waist; but sometime during the COVID years, something - I still don't know what - changed, and my hair started growing again and has kept growing since. I don't know when it's going to cap out - as far as I can tell, it's still growing - but I'm curious how long it will get.

It does have uneven ends. I know that you're supposed to trim the ends in order to preserve their health and keep them from splitting, and I know that it looks tidier to have it trimmed; and I've pondered it quite a bit, and I just can't. I don't know how to describe it - the way that it feels wrong. The closest thing I can compare it to feels like too much - the way that in some religions, you don't cut your hair because your body is a gift from that higher power and to do so would be to desecrate that gift. I don't have that same belief, in that kind of higher power and thus the necessity of adherence to such things - but even so. It feels weirdly violating, the idea of even trimming it. I like the natural shape of it regardless - a straight, even set of ends feels deeply wrong too.

The same goes for dying it. I've though about dying my hair all sorts of colors; but at the end of the day, my hair is dark enough that I would have to bleach it to get any color but black, and that too feels wrong. Even dying it black doesn't feel right, these days - it might be brown, but it's a dark brown with lovely highlights of red and gold, and at the end of the day it's mine. In a lot of ways, I'm looking forward to going grey someday too - I suspect I'm going to be one of those people whose hair stays dark for a long time, then goes grey all at once, and that will be neat when it happens.

(I did recently dye it with red henna - only because it wouldn't require bleaching it, and with the hope that it would mostly just bring out the reds that are already there rather than changing the color completely. That's more or less the effect that I got, and I've been happy with that too.)

There was one other change I've made to it - I had bangs for most of my life. I used to keep them long, too, often in my eyes; and just like the back of my hair, I hated having those cut too straight as well. I phased them out during my college years, mostly because I got tired of having to trim them regularly; I wasn't sure about it at the time, but I'm happy with it now.

I don't generally style it. Like I said, I'm fairly low-maintenance about my appearance in general. Almost all I ever do is braid it back when I want it out of my way or before bed - a simple single braid, nothing special or fancy (it still takes forever to do, even being simple). It feels like I spent at least half the time with my hair braided these days, between work and sleep and the occasionally other occasion with need. Having it down has started to feel special.

I do also like the waves that come with my hair when I unbraid it. If there were a single thing I were to change about my hair - or likely my appearance in general - I would want a very slight wave in my hair rather than the stick-straight that it is. Both of my parents have wavy-to-curly hair, I just didn't get it. It does hold a wave very well, though - I don't generally need mousse or any other sort of product, it just holds it on its own if it's been braided for a few hours.

There is an additional, quieter significance in the braid that I don't need to go into right now. In short, I used to wear my hair that way for a particular character in LARP; and whenever I wear it, it feels like a quiet touching in on that place where she still is somewhere. It's been reassuring, the last few months.

I don't know when I'll cut it again. A long time from now, I don't doubt - but I don't doubt that I'll cut it again at some point. Very likely, shorter once again than I've ever had it; I've contemplated going bald before - like with the mullet, it's a "hair" style I think I would probably actually be very cute in; and I could also see going for a buzz cut of some kind. Something queer-looking, probably. I think the hair is part of why a lot of people, even queer people, assume I'm straight; and also part of why a lot of people tend to assume I'm very young, which has started to become an actual meaningful problem in my professional life. Even so - I can't stand the idea of cutting it. Even despite that.

So that's up with me and hair, I suppose. Or part of it, anyway. This one signed off by (dedicated to?), the hair spiders that skitter across the bathroom floor and look like actual spiders running for cover, which regularly scare the crap out of Hearthsnail and I. Goodnight, dear hair spiders, and to whomever has sat through this whole journal entry.

#blog #journal #hair #personal appearance #identity #physical appearance #long hair #rambles

[dusty-shoebox]

I HAVE DREAMS SOMETIMES and sometimes those dreams feel like entire movies and i love it so much :D im gonna share the one i had last night

It started with a birds eye view of a forest, in that forest there was a huge clearing surrounded by a wall of rocks. In the center, there was a cave surrounded by purple crystals. Around it was a floating railway high up in the sky that split in half around the wall and connected back together and kept going. There was a voice explaining how this was a forest that belonged to fairies, and that the story didn’t start in the clearing but in a kingdom far away.

It cut to a shot with the main character, let's call her Bee, in some sort of training ground with a bunch of other people. She’s having a sword fight with her rival, Juniper. Bee beats him but everyone else is mad at her for being too rough on Juniper. The Queen comes out and asks for him, and they go to her office. She brings up how her ~3 year old child, Apricot got sick of an unknown illness and stopped eating. It’s getting worse by the day. Juniper blames Bee and how strange things keep happening ever since she appeared in the city. (you know how in dreams you don't need anything explained to you? you just know? this is when my dream told me how The Queen adopted Bee and Juniper, also Juniper's parents who were The Queen's friends are very dead.)

He asks why the Queen wanted to keep Bee right as she ran into the room asking for a rematch. Out of nowhere, The Queen just collapses and dies. Juniper blames Bee for it.

There's a jump to The Queen's funeral, where Bee and Juniper start a fight. Halfway through, time stops for everyone but Juniper. He looks around confused and sees the Queen sitting up from her casket and staring at him. He asks if she’s alive, she says no but she has a request and there's not much time.

She wants him to go to the fairy forest with Bee and Apricot. They have to find what The Queen called "The Gate" and that they will find a cure for her child's illness there. Juniper asks what is going on but The Queen just says they will know it when they see it and to hurry. Juniper then finds himself on the floor of a small shed with Bee standing over him. She says that while they were fighting, he froze and then collapsed. Everyone around them thought he died and started running after her. She grabbed him and ran. Juniper explained what he saw and after a bit of silence, they decided to do it. They basically kidnapped Apricot and left to find the fairy forest.

then i woke up. every time i have had one of these dreams so far, i woke up right as the main characters start their quest. yeah it kinda sucks but a dream has to end at some point right?

in my actual dream none of the characters had names, so i gave them some to make it easier.

i made up Juniper and Bee's names on the spot, but i gave Apricot their name because the only thing i remembered about them was that they had a lot of frizzy red hair. the only other things i remember of the other ones is that Juniper had short black hair and The Queen looked like the queen from Epic (the dreamworks movie) except she had a pixie cut

i had another dream that night, it was about an angry blanket that turned into pants

#welcome to my dreams everyone #i hope you had fun #dreams #dreaming #stories #writing #its 2 am so im gonna go to bed #goodnight friends