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eetherealgoddess · 4 months

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ꨄOur Alphaꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Celebrity/Omegaverse Au

❦You have to survive as a maid in a celebrity omegan mansion❦

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

I know there are different variations of omegaverse with sub gender roles. For this specific story, female alphas are not likely to get pregnant but it’s still possible, the omega males are usually the ones to nurture the child, traditionally. Y/n will have female genitalia. Basically omega females will be impregnated, alpha females may get pregnant by alpha males as well as omega males but omega and alpha males cannot get pregnant. Omegas of both genders get heats while alphas of both genders get ruts.

In this world, omegas are at the top of the hierarchy in sociatel terms because of their divine energy. They’re the nurturers while alphas are seen as aggressive and easy to sway, only thinking with their genitals which is seen as weakness even though omegas can be manipulative and murderous. Alphas are basically used to breed. For heats, alphas can be used but if not then omegas help each other, without the markings and ruts.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There may be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Our Alpha

Being an alpha in this world can be challenging. Constantly having to prove yourself no matter the circumstances in which you find yourself in. You could be murdered by an omega and still get blamed for whatever happened to you. Some omegas have even falsely accused alphas of terrible behavior, winning in the process while the alpha gets the most gruesome punishment. Alphas are almost always classified as low class citizens, getting the scraps that the omegas may or may not give.

Sure, there are successful alphas out there but only the few favored by omegas, gaining their way to the top by bargaining their own bodies. Regardless, it’s very dangerous to be an alpha involved with an omega, even if traditionally your instincts yearn for it. Tying yourself to an omega is a life sentence of becoming a slave considering once you bite them, you’re tied together by a bond for life. This is why you have made sure to steer clear of omegas of any gender, getting through your segregated schooling as well as gaining a decent job to survive.

You’ve only had romantic and platonic relationships with other alphas and betas, experiencing sex as any person would without the sub gender roles considering there were no enticing pheromones that could put you in a hypnotic trance. Omegas are naturally pretty creatures, ethereal beauties that can lure you into their traps. You despise their power. You despise your own subgender; to be so easily swayed is embarrassing.

Everything was going well until you got laid off by your job, an omegan bar replacing the building as they always do to alpha companies. It’s as if they’re trying to rid all of the alphas' abilities to live a substantial life without the help or permission of omegas. It was frustrating. You became desperate considering the lack of alpha owned businesses in your area. You had no choice but to find an omegan business that would hire you.

Unfortunately, the only job placement you’d be hired for is a maid, some kind of servant, or sex slave. So you decided to post an offer of your services, desperate for income to be able to afford your small apartment. The only response you received was to become a house maid for the sons of the omegan stars who needed a new maid. Although you’d be living in the mansion, you couldn’t pass the pay that was offered. Considering how high it was, you could live there for a few months and be able to move out on your own when you’ve made enough.

Once your bags were packed you traveled to the area in which you’d be living, passing by beautiful scenery that the alpha territories lack. Alpha areas are very dull and dim whereas the living quarters for omegans were pigmented and beautiful. Once you arrived at the mansion, you were guided by one of the beta butlers to your designated room, setting your luggage down as you were handed your uniform that consisted of black pants and a white shirt. Very plain but convenient for cleaning. Your room consists of a twin sized neatly made bed and a window, along with a desk and dresser. The room is also connected to a small bathroom.

Considering you don’t start until tomorrow, you begin to settle into your new living space, sighing once you are through. Deciding to take a shower, you set clothing to change into on your bed before heading to your shower. After you were done, you wrapped yourself in a towel before walking out of the bathroom, only to be startled by the presence in the room. You stare in shock as the blonde male eyes you as he sits on the bed in a crisscrossed position.

“U-uh can I help you?” You attempt to ask politely.

Having never been around an omega in your lifetime, you instantly could tell that an omega sits in front of you by the sweet smell radiating off of his form. A smell you’ve never had the privilege to sniff. Your body is tense, not wanting to make the wrong move as you know how unpredictable they can be. You keep your anxiety levels low considering they could smell fear a mile away. You’ve taken time to study the ‘predators’ though you’ve never seen one in person which is why you know so much.

He hops off the bed and walks toward you, staring at you with intense black eyes as he studies your form. You shift uncomfortably as you keep a hand on the towel wrapped around your figure, your skin moist from the residue water from the shower.

“You smell sweet for an alpha.” He says with his head tilted, leaning in as your eyes widen. His face stops near your neck as you hear him sniff slightly before pulling back. You wanted to reply with a smart remark but held back, not wanting to risk your life over something so petty.

“Y/n?” You nod.

“Mikey.” You already know their names, their parents are known for being famous as well as their children. You damn near grew up together through the screen, always seeing them on your timeline no matter how many times you blocked omegan accounts. There were even alpha owned accounts who were smitten over the pretty boys.

Without another word, he walks out of the bedroom, not bothering to shut the door. You huff as you shut the door and lock it, although now you know the lock doesn’t really matter. Once you were dressed you went to bed and scrolled on your phone until you fell asleep. Your alarm woke you up at five in the morning, hopping out of the bed reluctantly as you did your morning routine and put your uniform on.

The head beta maid met you at your door right before six o’ clock. You noticed that she wore an actual maid’s dress and not the cheap attire you have on, not that it bothered you. She went over the rules as well as the to do list for each day. She guided you to the cleaning supplies, showing you where to find everything as well as touring the rooms, not entering the male’s rooms considering they were still asleep.

Once she left you on your lonesome, you walked into the living space, dusting the windows and wiping them down with a cloth and cleaner. You dust wipe down the lamps and the light fixtures, moving onto the baseboards and window frames. Once you turned around to continue, you were startled once more, facing two of the males who eyed you. You eye the twins, purple orbs studying you before smirks grow on their faces. Their sweet scent meets your nostrils as you stand there.

“Looks like we got a new plaything, brother.” The shorter one states, hands in his pockets with a mischievous glint in his eyes. You tense as they walk towards you. The oldest one slightly leans over.

“Did you hear about what happened to the previous alpha who worked for us?” He questions with a sly smile. You shook your head in response, curious to know though dreading the response.

“She was such a dirty pervert, spying on us while we undressed.” They slowly circled around you like predators would their prey. Your grip tightens around the dusting brush, eyebrows furrowed as you follow them with your eyes.

“She even watched us while we were in heat. There were more problems before she finally got castrated.”

Castration happens when an alpha is accused of perverted behavior. For the male the penis will get detached as well as for the female's clitoris. It’s a horrific punishment nobody wants to go through. Although there are cases where alphas broke the law and gave into their instincts in a disturbing way, a lot of the times they get falsely accused.

“You know how alphas get when they can’t contain themselves. After all, you are one of them.” Rin says before he stops in front of you along with Ran.

“Not all alphas are the same.” You rebutled with irritation. Of course they would generalize the sub gender.

“No?” Ran chuckles, “I guess we’ll see.” He says before walking away, Rin stops by the window and rubs his hand along the glass, the sound causing you to flinch as you see the smeared handprint form.

“Missed a spot.” When they exited the room, you groaned, spitting a few curses as you got ready to re-wipe the window. You had a feeling that spoiled omegans were going to be difficult.

Hours pass and it’s time to clean their bedrooms. Apparently, they should all be out at this time, working on whatever projects or endeavors they’re famous for which is why you were surprised when you walked into the spacious bedroom, and saw piercing blue eyes narrowing at you. The sweet smell contrasted with the aura of the platinum haired male.

“Get out.”

You didn’t hesitate to comply, saving the room for later and heading to the bedroom next to it. You walk into another spacious bedroom. You could hear the shower running through the door of the bathroom. You decide to rush through the already semi cleaned room so you could get it over with considering you already had another bedroom to come back to.

Tidying the spaces that needed a touch up, you pause when you hear the click of the door opening, not noticing the shower had stopped a few minutes before.

An instant sweet aroma mixed with a fresh scent fumed into your vicinity as you turned towards the male who was holding a towel around his waist. You yelp once he removes the towel, rubbing it against his hair as you turn to grab your equipment.

“Sh-! Uh… I’m sorry!” You say as you rush to the exit, only for a hand to grab your wrist. You kept your gaze down toward the door, not wanting to catch a case.

“Hey, wait. You’re Y/n, right?” He questioned with his index finger and thumb rubbing his chin. His grip only tightened when you nodded your head, gasping as he pulled you into a moist hug. Your eyes are wide as you pause in surprise, the warmth of his body radiating off of him as well as the fumes engulfing your nostrils. His arms snaked around your waist as his face nuzzled in your neck. You ignore the feeling of his limp bulge against your covered thigh. You stare at him with disbelief once he pulls back with a closed eyed smile.

“Kazutora.” He says before he turns around, towel still in hand as he walks to his walk in closet, disappearing into the smaller room. You breathe out heavily as you run out of the room, face warm as you place your hand on your chest.

You couldn’t believe how close he got to you, naked and all. How familiar he acted even though you only just met. You rub a hand over your head as you wipe off any residue shower water, your shirt slightly stained. Once you finished the other bedrooms, you pushed your anxiety to the side to knock on the scarred man’s door. When he didn’t answer after the third knock, you entered anyway. Eager to get done with cleaning for the night so you could eat dinner.

When you saw the room was empty, you began your process, unknown to the prowling eyes on you from the cracked door of the bathroom. You could smell him but you thought it was because you were in his bedroom. You jump when you hear something break. Turning around you eyed Sanzu with confusion as he stood there with his arms crossed.

“Why did you break that?” Your eyebrows furrowed.

“You know I didn’t break that.” You say, missing the glint in his eyes towards your response.

He walks over to a pillar and pushes the vase off. You gasp as you look back at him.

“You’re not a very good maid. So clumsy.” He hissed before yelling for the head maid.

“Yes!” She says when she all but runs to the doorway.

“Look at the mess your new maid has made.” He points to the broken objects. She apologizes on behalf of you before she walks to the storage room to grab a dustpan and broom. You glare at him when he glares at you.

“Such vile creatures you alphas are.” He says before walking out of the room. The head maid runs back into the room, handing you one of the brooms and a dustpan.

“Don’t take it to heart, they taunt the new alphas everytime. You just have to be careful so you don’t end up like the last maid.” She informs you.

“Didn’t she spy on them?” You question as you sweep the mess. She shakes her head.

“Oh no. She wasn’t like that. Not at all. They… well… just be careful Y/n. Try not to gain any more attention than you already have.” You pause from her vague response.

“Can you please tell me? I need to know what to look out for.” She looks up at you before sighing.

“Alright, but you didn’t hear this from me. Apparently, much like you, an alpha was hired as a maid. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to like her, not that many omegas like alphas initially. Instead of firing her, they made her job harder any chance they got. I guess they got bored of their game considering they set her up, resulting in castration and jail time.”

You gasp. You knew how omegas were but to be at such a risk was terrifying.

“There’s not really a way to dodge them once their minds are set but just try to stay in your lane and just get your job done.”

After dinner, you head to your room to shower and get in bed, searching for the old maid as you feed your fears. You fall into darkness, awaiting for a new day.

A couple weeks pass and time goes smoother than you thought. Besides a little teasing from the twins, you survived two weeks of living in this mansion. Nobody seemed to bother you thankfully. You continued to dodge the men as you completed your daily chores. Having succeeded for the two weeks you felt as though you finally had a little room to breathe. Although you weren’t bothered, you couldn’t help but feel eyes on you everyday. You always ignored the feeling.

The day was finished and you went to take your routined shower, basking in the warmth of the water with your eyes closed. Once you were finished, you turned the faucet off and pulled the curtain back, screaming once you pulled it to cover you once more. Your hand trembled as your eyes were wide, the intruder’s hand gripping the curtain to pull it back as you kept it in place.

“Hey, what are you so shy for?” Kazutora questions with a chuckle.

“What are you doing in my bathroom?” You exclaim, smelling the scent he’s letting off as he fills the room. You cover your nose as you gripped the curtain harder. You yelp when you see him pulling it from the other side, snatching your towel quickly as you cover yourself and hop out of the shower.

“Well, I was bored.” He shrugged as he looked you up and down. “

“C-can you get out? Now!” You growl, frustrated with the situation as you cover your nose once more.

“Why?” His smile drops. “What’s up with the tone?”

You pass him as you walk into your bedroom, turning back to face him.

“K-Kazutora, can you please leave? Just let me change real quick.”

His smile returned, “You’re kinda cute when you’re all flustered. It’s only fair I get to see you naked since you walked in on me.”

“You know that was an accident. That’s not even how it we-. Okay, just please turn around if you’re going to stay here.” You say. He sighs before placing his hands on his hips and turning in the opposite direction.

You quickly dried your body as you frantically put your pajamas on.

“Alright, I’m done.” He turns back around to face you. “Now, what can I do for you?”

Before he answers, Mikey walks into your room as Kazutora hops on your bed. The blonde follows behind.

“What the h-! What is going on? Why are you both in my room?” You had to keep your nose covered from the aroma covering your room by the two men, as if they were scenting your room.

“For you to entertain us.” You shook your head.

“I don’t know what you want me to do so there’s nothing I can do. I have to wake up early to complete my job so…” The door opens revealing another blonde who enters your room, sitting next to Mikey as he leans his head on his shoulder, another smell adding to the fumes.

Following after him were the twins who strolled into the room, one sitting at your desk while the other sat on the dresser. You cover your nose with both hands as you eye the newcomers.

“Look, I know you all probably don’t like me and want to get rid of me like you did the other maid. I can stay in my lane and we don’t even need to cross paths.”

“Are you telling us what to do?” Rin asks in an accusatory manner. Your eyes widen as the omegans glare at you.

“No! I-I’m stating my peace! I’m just trying to work.”

“Why should alphas like you get to work? You’re nothing but breeders.” Sanzu hissed as his fumes became higher. Your face becomes warm as you begin to feel light headed.

“You’re all such weak little things. Look at you.” Ran says as he gives off more of his scent. At this point you’re beginning to see stars as you try not to lose to your instincts, fighting off the rut that’s beginning to come forth.

“What’s the matter, Y/n?” Kazutora questions with a fake look of concern, fumes adding to the rest of the scents as you could barely breathe, sweat dripping down your skin.

Mikey gazes at you quietly with narrowed eyes, studying your movement as your vision becomes blurred.

“It’s only a matter of time before you pounce, so just give in.”

You immediately dash out of the room, running down the hall to the maid’s floor as you remove your hand from your mouth, stopping in front of her door to knock frantically. She opens it, gazing at you with concern. You pant heavily as your hands are on your knees.

“They scented my room. Where else can I sleep? Fortunately with her being a beta, you both switched rooms for the night. You didn’t sleep much, too caught up with your thoughts as you couldn’t believe how you almost went into a rut just by the intense scents. You looked up different rut suppressants, ordering some over the counter after a late night trip to the nearest store. Once you took it, you were finally able to fall asleep.

Few more weeks passed and it’s finally been a month since you moved in, the suppressants helping whenever they used their scents against you. No doubt it caused frustration for the men. They made more messes as well as just being plain rude. They switched the liquid of your cleaners with juice as well as causing messes where you already cleaned. They finally left you alone when they saw none of it was working.

Thinking they gave up, you continued on with your job. Dodging them every chance you got as well as getting used to their schedules so you didn’t run into them. You kept reminding yourself that the pay was worth it until it’s time to go. If only you would’ve noticed the way some of your dirty clothes would disappear or the pairs of eyes on you while you slept. You thought the little knick knacks or random clothing that showed up mysteriously in your room was from the maid, never really having that happen before. You didn’t really know why the other maids began to distance themselves, unknown to the threats that would occur whenever they would come too close.

“Y/n, I need to talk to you.” The head maid states, pulling you to the side out of the kitchen with the chefs.

“What is it?” You ask.

“Y-you need to watch your back.” Your eyebrows furrow. They’ve been leaving you alone so you have no idea what the problem is.

“I think the guys are courting you.” Your eyes widen.

You didn’t know much about courting except that it was a way for alphas to show affection to omegans. Traditionally, not the other way around though it does happen. Omegans have only been doing so to other omegans.

“What? How? Why would they do that?”

“I’ve caught them in your room while-!” Her name was called from a distance.

“I-I’ll tell you later. Just be mindful of your surroundings.” She says before walking off. Your eyebrows furrow as you follow her figure, standing in place.

The next day, her body was found on the ground next to the mansion in a bloody puddle. It was deemed a suicide considering the open window. You mourned for your one and only friend of the house, surprised when a hand was placed on your shoulder as a way to comfort you by Mikey.

One day, your suppressants went missing, causing you to not take them for a few days because you never had time considering you would immediately go to bed after you showered when the chores were finished. Considering they stopped messing with you, the need for the suppressants went out the door. You think back to what the maid was trying to tell you from time to time, not really believing that omegas could have a crush on an alpha like you. There was no reason too, especially since they’re celebrities.

You had just finished showering and getting dressed for bed before a knock on your door echoed. When you opened the door you eyed the omegan maid in confusion.

“Come with me.” She states as she walks off, you following behind.

When you stop in front of the door, she giggles.

“You’re a very lucky alpha.” She says before she opens the door and pushes you in, shutting and locking it behind you. You fall, kneeling to the ground as you look up. Your hands cover your mouth and nose as the fumes take over, the sight in front of you causing your eyes to widen.

The sweet mix of different aromas meet your nostrils as it goes straight to your clit, the intensity of the smell overwhelming you as the air is thick with omegan heat fumes. Panting men lay on a large bed in front of you as they desperately touch themselves, loads of slick everywhere as you hear moans and whimpers.

You’ve never experienced anything like this, desperately clawing at the door as you stand up on your trembling legs. You turn around, kicking the door as you struggle with opening the knob.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Let me out, please!” You realized you’ve been set up, now afraid of castration as you try to keep yourself under control.

“Alpha?” Your breath hitched at the soft voice. Now that you’ve been noticed, you repeatedly kick the door harder as you try to break out.

The scents thicken as you avoid turning around, too scared to eye the vulnerable men. Your head hits the door as tears fall out, sliding down on your knees as you try to keep it together. You jump when a wet hand touches your jaw, forcing you to look into dark eyes.

You tense as you smell the residue slick against your face, tightening the grip over your nose and mouth as the fumes become stronger from Mikey’s closeness. He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears as he pants, face red with sweat wetting his hair.

“Stop crying.” You want to move his hands away from you and try to break the door down, but if you move your hands you will surely go into a rut.

You hear a moan coming from the bed, the scarred man fingering himself fast as you could hear the squelching of his wet anus.

“Touch me, Alpha!” He demands with his head fallen back. You bite your lip under your hands, pressing yourself against the door as you smell Sanzu’s fumes become stronger, an attempt at luring you in. It almost works, his voice going straight to your core causing an ache to form.

A pain forming from kneeling, you plant your bottom on the floor, preparing to cover your whole face until Mikey pushes his body in between your legs, his hands grabbing your wrists as leans over to your ear.

“I want you to mark me, alpha.”

You shift your gaze to the loud moan coming from the bed, Kazutora face down, ass up with his head looking behind toward you. His heavy lidded eyes are feral as he stares at you, fingers engulfed in his hole as he tugs his hard on, milking his cock as you watch the slick drip on the bed that you now notice has some of your clothes.

You turn your gaze to Ran who is gazing at you while sitting on the bed, rubbing his cock as he bucks his hips, panting with an aroused expression. You could smell all of them from where you sat. Rin kneels in front of you as he hugs your waist before picking you up, carrying you to the bed as you struggle against his grip, tossing you in the middle as you're surrounded by the men in heat.

You shut your eyes tightly, your hands being ripped from your nose and mouth by him.

“You’re taking too long.” He hissed before he pinned your wrists above your head.

“Stop! You don’t want this!” You yell as your shirt is torn by Sanzu, your pants being tugged down by Mikey.

“Please! I don’t want to be castrated or binded!” You exclaim, tears falling as you feel your rut being triggered by all of the overwhelming fumes.

Two palms grab your face from behind as you gaze above you with teary eyes, residue slick from his hands rubbing against your face.

“We’ll protect you, alpha.” Kazutora gives a dazed smile before his lips meet yours, your eyes wide as his neck blocks your view. The color in your eyes dim as you fight off the rut to the best of your abilities, the instincts taking over as your pupils dilate.

Once Kazutora pulls back, you gasp at the feeling of a thick girth entering your pussy. Glazed over purple eyes stare down at you while his hips pull back before shoving back into you. Ran leans over as one of his hands reaches behind your neck as his face nuzzles on the opposite side.

“I couldn’t wait, alpha. S’ fucking good.” He rutts inside of you, not bothering to go slow as you grunt and moan, eyes shutting closed tightly. His beautiful moans reach your ear as well as the other omegans who were touching themselves by the heated sight, waiting their turn. Kazutora and Rin grab your hands, circling your fingers around their cocks as they thrust desperately against your hands.

After a while, Ran pulls out of you, picking you up before you are turned over on all fours. Sanzu positioned himself under you as he forced you to drop on his cock. Ran’s wet cock easing into your ass as it stretches, the slick on him making it less painful. They both release moans as they buck their hips. You pant against Sanzu’s neck, trying not to lose it.

“Bite me. Make me yours alpha.” Sanzu says against your ear as he moves your hand to wrap it around his throat. Your fangs come out, biting your lip to prevent yourself from tying any bonds no matter how tempted you were to do it. Blood drips on his shoulder from your lip as they accelerate their speed.

Your hand grips his neck causing him to moan out your name. You curse as your body rocks in between them, both men going harder as the slick oozes out of your holes.

“God, you want it so bad Y/n. I can smell it from you.” Kazutora groans as his head falls back, his hand tugging his erection as he breathes heavily. Mikey shifts to kneeling beside your face.

“His neck is bare for you. How could you pass the opportunity for such a pretty omega?” You whimper against Sanzu’s skin, whispering, “Fuck!”

“I’ll be so good for you, alpha.”

“Please!” You beg for them to stop with their words.

“Come on, Y/n. We’re giving you permission.” Rin breathes out as he rubs his wet cock. Finally, your eyes darken, panting, you insert your fangs into Sanzu’s neck, drawing out a loud whine from him.

“Yes, alpha!”

By the end of their assault, you had ended up losing your senses to your rut, marking each of their necks as they all pounded into you. You were knocked out, lying in the bed full of nests made by your own clothes mixed in with theirs. You were scented as you breathed heavily stuck in a deep slumber. They are bound to you forever as you are to them. Your position as a maid was dropped now that you are living with them for good. Your worst nightmare came true and now you’re stuck to be the omegan’s alpha. Your own freedom has been ripped from you, though at least you weren’t castrated.

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eclairsnme · 11 months

Text

♡ POV: Being The Itoshi Brother’s Elder Sister ♡

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

The troubles of an Idol.

tags: idol!you, crack comedy, reunion, familial love, sfw, somewhat of a brat (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

notes: she's back with more demands and silliness!! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

“Could you make that,” pointing to your chest subtly, “a little bigger?”

Sitting beside the photo editor, you closely observe her working magic on your recent photoshoot with a swimwear brand.

You thought the photos looked great until you caught on to an important missing element.

Boobs.

Big boobs to be specific.

You had boobs but they were not like Hana Haruna’s (*a Japanese pornstar*).

What is the point of posing for a swimwear brand when you lack the assets?

“Maybe if you could just accentuate it a little more,” you gestured your hands to reiterate your idea of a big boob.

“Miss, if I make it any bigger here it’ll look as if you have watermelon jugs as big as your head.”

Your photo editor had a point; your edited chest resembled overblown balloons.

But still! (╯•﹏•╰)

“Isn’t that what the people like? Do you know what they always say? ‘Big boobs don’t lie’.”

“I think you got the wrong idea here, miss.”

“We cannot let the people out there catch me lacking!”

This was your first ever swimwear photoshoot in your entire career. Usually, you will pose for makeup brands and luxury clothing brands.

Swimwear was an uncharted territory. Of course, you were a little overzealous.

Me! The idol who is perfect in every way! Perfect face, perfect figure, and perfect life — an idol who everyone knows and loves.

“Hold on a second, let me refer to my advisor for their advice.”

Imitating a handheld phone with your hands and fingers, you held it towards your ear and spoke through the mock phone.

“Hello, myself. Do you think big boobs are better or small boobs?”

You halted for a second before replying to your own quandary, “Most definitely big boobs.”

With that, you ended the “call”.

“There you have it, miss photo editor. You just have to make it big enough to look natural.”

“If you say so...”

“I am the perfect idol. I cannot lack!”

Maintaining the image of an idol sure is a tough job.

—

“Did she gain some weight?”

“She looked like she had some plastic surgery done to her nose.”

“Oh, I heard she’s dating that one foreign guy!”

“Didn’t you hear how she seduced her way into…”

“She looks like she aged like rotten cheese since her teenage years.”

“Don’t you think she’s the least talented of her siblings?”

Those were just some of the many comments you could ascertain from your dear haters coming from the live audience seat.

You know you are the epitome of perfection. No matter what they say, it would not make you hot under the collar.

Jealously sure is a terrible disease. ┐(´～｀)┌

Currently, you are on a TV show with your male costar, whom you could not really remember his name for he is just a mere NPC.

Today’s show required you to promote a romance drama you acted in last year that has finally been broadcasted this year.

You played the role of the female lead, who fell in love with the male lead at first sight.

It turns out, the group of people who were talking behind your back was this NPC costar’s groupies.

Tsk. Bunch of buzzing bees.

They were on a nonstop mission to pour vitriolic attacks on you.

Despite all the hate, you thought it was quite flattering that they were giving you such undivided attention albeit having their “idol” — NPC costar — right beside you.

Yet again, you have proved to yourself that you are indeed the star of the show! Haters are part of the package of being so irresistible!

(Ŏ艸Ŏ)

You giggled at that.

“This is the hottest romance drama of this season that is sure to get you excited!” The host bellowed, prompting a wave of applause from the audience.

You smiled at the reception.

The interview was filled with scripted questions which you accordingly answered to.

Too easy.

You just had to smile sweetly at everyone to have them fall in love with you. Even the bunch of groupies could not help but to fall for your charm.

Everything was going swimmingly until the host pulled out his wild card — an unscripted question directed at you.

“As a famous idol, do you have any real-life romantic experiences that are swoon-worthy to share with the audience?” The host said in an overly enthusiastic tone.

The audience gasps.

All the cameras were then angled at you anticipating your response.

You smiled sweetly at the host.

Does this guy hate me or something? He must be my number one hater!

Your privacy has always been prioritised as an idol.

Not much was known about your private life until the recent news of your relationship with the Itoshi siblings broke out.

Disregarding that, the matter of your romantic relationship was a topic deemed taboo even to your fans.

The genesis of the taboo nature of your private romantic life started from an honest discussion among the netizens.

They were speculating who you were romantically involved with but it was all for naught as they could not find even a speck of man involved with you.

Even when feverish stalkers took matters into their own hands, they still could not find dirt on you.

Male costars? You treated them like dirt off-camera.

Other male celebrities? You did not even bother looking in their direction or bear to breathe the same air as them for you are better than them.

It soon became apparent to them that perhaps you had a secret affair or were involved in something incredibly scandalous — maybe you were interested in unique deviances?

Their theories then became out of control and so out of pocket that everyone began making up weird conclusions of their own online, which caused a huge uproar.

In the end, everyone decided to be more hush about that topic.

In reality, the truth as to why no one was able to dig up any evidence of you in a relationship was simply because you have always been single as a pringle.

How could a young eligible, gorgeous and talented bachelorette be so single? ( ▀ 益 ▀ )

That is because your brain only contains idol-related information. Everything else? Nil.

Is this man mocking me?

“Surely someone as pretty as you would have countless opportunities for love isn’t it?” The host continued with his onslaught of probing.

Should I strangle him? Or should I just slap him? No no no. Evil monologue shut up.

You look over to your manager and gave him the death glare.

In response to that, he expeditiously told the producers to temporarily halt the program.

With hands akimbo, your tall and slim frame overwhelmed the short and stubby manager.

You frowned at him and harshly whispered to his ears, “Get me a boyfriend ASAP!”

“Eh?!”

—

The program ended and you finally let out a long sigh in the car.

“So did you find me a boyfriend yet?”

“I-I don’t think that is how relationships work! I cannot just magically bring you a boyfriend.”

“But I want a boyfriend! So find me one!” You exclaimed helplessly.

Your manager sighed at your zero concepts of relationships and love.

“Have you loved someone before?”

“Myself.”

“Other than yourself?”

“Is this a trick question or something?”

Mr Manager glances at the rearview mirror with a defeated expression.

“Have you experienced love before?”

“What’s that?” You asked, fingers on your chin unsure what the heck that meant. ಠ╭╮ಠ

“The butterflies in your stomach when you meet someone you love!” He exasperated.

“Oh, that! Whenever I catch glimpses of myself in the mirror, I get this inexplicable feeling of that thing you described!”

This was a lost cause. Although you acted in numerous romance dramas, you still did not grasp the meaning of love. What a hypocrisy it is.

“To have a boyfriend, you must first love that person!”

“What? That sounds like a hassle. I just want a boyfriend.”

Mr manager scrunched his nose in disbelief.

“And why do you exactly want a ‘boyfriend’? This can’t be another of your impulsive thoughts is it?”

Mr manager had a déjà vu of a time when you ordered him to get you a pet tiger.

“No, it is not! What with all these questions, Mr interrogator?”

“…”

“Shut up and just get me a boyfriend.”

“So I have the right to set you up on a date?”

“Whatever it is, I want a boyfriend. I am being very extremely superbly serious!” You said with finality.

Mr Manager could only sigh in defeat yet again for the umpteenth time.

“But you are a public figure–”

You snapped at Mr Manager, “Shut up!”

He continued driving the car, looking at you through the rear-view mirror.

Any man would die to date you; you were a beguiling and dazzling lady. However, your attitude was something he was not sure any man would be able to handle.

In his entire career of being your manager, not once has he had a good day. Every day was filled with problems caused by you that he had to solve.

His brow scrunched together in grim defeat.

Boyfriend huh? Good luck to that unlucky guy.

You, on the other hand, seating cross-legged in the backseat, were marinating in annoyance.

After experiencing the mockery of the host deprecating your love life, you could not let that slide.

You had to ratio him.

Was it immature? Debatable.

Your only participation in this so-called romantic relationship concept was acting in dramas and movies.

And your exposure to the male species was…

Ehem.

Despite being an idol, your otherwise desolate personal life painted you as a lone wolf.

In your life, it was all work and dedication to being the best.

You were on fire! On fire to get a boyfriend! You will show them that you are capable of anything, and not lacking in any department!

The constant buzz of your phone eventually broke you out of your daze.

When you saw the screen, you immediately picked up the call.

“Rin!”

“I’m one step closer to demolishing brother.”

Eh? ！(◎_◎;)

You took the phone away from your ear and stared into the screen making sure you have the right person on the phone.

After confirming it’s the right person, you responded, “What do you mean demolishing your brother?”

“I’ve joined Paris X Gen in Blue Lock to become the best striker and to destroy brother.”

“Mmm… you are destroying my heart, Rin. Why are you still talking about your brother like this?”

“I will be better and he will finally acknowledge me.”

You murmured incoherent thoughts with a frown.

This pent-up hatred can go no further!

“Sister?”

“Where are you now?”

“In the Blue Lock facility. Why?”

You hung up the phone.

“Drive me to this Blue Lock facility place,” you ordered Mr Manager.

—

As soon as you arrive at the Blue Lock building, you were met with strict security.

“Let me in you low-life man.”

“Miss, this is not a place you can just walk in.”

“And a measly man like you can?”

You had been at this for a good 10 minutes, going back and forth with the stubby man and his group of security guards.

Getting sick and tired of this nonsense, you slap the man's fake wig off his head. The wig which was so fake you could see your reflection on it, flew away dramatically and plopped onto the hard asphalt ground.

“M-my hair!” He ran straight to the plastic wig.

“What’s with all these ruckus?”

The hairless man exclaimed at the sight of the short-haired woman.

Your attention went towards the petite, short-haired woman. She looked about your age. As she moved closer to you, almost immediately, your attention snapped to her big bust.

Those are what I call knockers! OMG! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Too busy ogling at her melons, you didn’t realise she was calling out for you.

Snapping yourself out of it, you introduced yourself.

“You are the popular idol!” The busty lady interrupted you, “I am, Anri Teieri, the manager of this facility. This is a strictly out-of-bounds area. What business does an idol like you have here?”

“Miss Anri, you see I have an underaged brother here and I, as his attending guardian, need to see him.”

“I’m sorry, but only authorised personnel can enter the premises.”

“Then authorise me. My little brother is feeling so homesick he was practically begging on his knees to meet me.”

“Every participant here is dedicated to being the best striker, we cannot afford any distractions such as yourself. I’m sure your little brother understands this — it’s all part of the process,” Anri puffed her chest out.

Seeing the physics of her melons do their job, you unconsciously covered your own chest.

That’s unfair! _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Anri observed the female opposite her. Hands down, you are the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on. A face sculpted by the gods and paired with those glassy teal eyes that just compelled attraction. Of course, she knew who you are — who doesn’t.

Honestly, Anri was a huge fan of your work. She had collected all your albums and watched all your shows.

You could say that she’s a fan girl.

She also knew that you were the older sister of Rin Itoshi. She had looked through each player's records and with the recent breakout news that you are related to the Itoshi siblings, no doubt you are his sister.

However, she cannot haphazardly let you enter.

What goes on inside Blue Lock is confidential.

“Who is in charge of this building? Call him out now,” you demanded, unwilling to leave until you got what you want.

As if the big man up there had heard your quandary, Anri’s phone rang and it was Ego.

“Let her in,” the deep voice reverberated in her ear.

Ego stared at the monitor, observing Anri and the idol through the surveillance camera.

“But,” Anri tried to protest to no avail as Ego quickly intercepted.

“No harm letting her in.”

With that, the call ended, leaving a befuddled Anri.

“The general manager called and said you are allowed in,” Anri hesitantly said.

“That wasn’t too hard isn’t it?” You smiled, satisfied.

EHE god is always on my side. ✌︎('ω')✌︎

—

The Blue Lock facility was a massive site. It was bigger than any skyscraper you had ever seen. This could easily be the most impressive building in Japan.

The space was so big that every step you took became a loud echo.

“Hey, big melon woman,” you called out for her.

“P-pardon m-m-me?” Anri is flustered at your bluntness.

“Yes, you.” You replied, disregarding her blushing face, “Where’s Rin?”

“The Blue Lock players are currently undergoing their training as of now, therefore I’ll be bringing you to the surveillance room where Ego is at.”

“And should I know what this Ego thing is?”

“Ego is a man I chose to oversee this Blue Lock project.”

“Oho — so you are the mastermind? That’s pretty impressive.”

That was impressive. You had an inkling an old, wrinkly man was behind Blue Lock but to think it was the big melon woman? That was impressive in your books.

Well, that and coupled with your bias for big boobs. (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

Leading you through the vast hallway, both of you finally arrived at your destination.

Anri knocked on the door a couple of times.

“Come in,” came a reply.

As soon as the door opened, you were welcomed by the bright screens of many monitors.

Looking at the screens, they were all surveilling all of the Blue Lock players in the facility.

“Ego, this is the idol you told me to bring along.”

“Here, what you are witnessing are all the unpolished diamonds striving to become the best striker the world will soon witness,” Ego stood up, overwhelming your frame even though you weren’t short by any means.

Ego was a tall, lanky man and you cannot help but compare him to the game character called “Slenderman”.

“Make no mistake that we are the next revolution of football,” continued Ego.

You took a step towards the monitors and scrutinised trying to locate Rin.

“Note this, every day, every boy here only thinks about eating, sleeping and football,” continued Ego.

Still unable to find Rin, you pulled Anri and ask her to help you look for him. More pair of eyes will get the job done.

“We have never allowed any outsider to our facility and you are the first. Consider this a blessing that I am a fan of your works and have allowed you to witness this holy sanctuary,” continued Ego.

Where is Rin?!

“There he is!” Anri smiled as she pointed at a monitor to your far left.

Rin was on the field practising with other players.

“Bring me to him,” you interrupted Ego’s nonstop rant.

“I will, but I have a better idea,” he suspiciously said.

—

On the side of the field, Rin took off his football boots.

The nonstop practice and matches had worn out his boots till the original colour was gone.

It was not even a week since he had joined Paris X Gen, and the regiment was even harsher than before.

It was not for nothing though, he could feel his stamina, strength and ability getting better.

Nothing can stop him from achieving greater heights.

Be it the jerk Shidou or Isagi, he will be better.

But he cannot help to still feel that he is lacking somethi-

"RIN!"

The speaker rumbled throughout the entire Blue Lock building.

The big screen flickered and you came to view.

Rin sank back and covered his face; covering the heavy blush that instantly painted his face bright red.

"Sister..." he muttered under his breath, "What are you doing here?"

Embarrassment was currently the biggest understatement as he tried to pretend he did not hear or see anything.

"Hey, isn't that the idol? Am I dreaming right now?" Karasu gasps at your appearance.

"Rin, can you hear me?" You waved your hand trying to get your little brother's attention.

The Ego man told you that you can communicate with Rin through the screen but what a big liar he was!

On the monitor, the figure of Rin showed that he was still minding his own business as if he did not know you are here.

"Your dearly beloved sister is here!" You shouted into the mic again thinking that perhaps it was some faulty audio.

Your voice echoed throughout the building again, everyone in the building had their attention on you.

Uproars could be heard from the players in every room exclaiming at the sight of a popular idol.

You continued calling out for brother. After all, Ego had nicely set up a Zoom call for you, you cannot let this opportunity go to waste.

Why isn't he looking at me? (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

At the corner of the room, away from the screen, Ego held back his laughter and Anri silently stood unable to help you.

—

"Hey, Reo-" Nagi poked Reo, "isn't that the videogame character?"

"She's the person the videogame character was modelled after," Reo replied.

“She’s a real person?” Nagi said in disbelief.

Unlike Nagi, who only knew you from his game, Reo has actually went to your live concerts multiple times.

After all, your concerts were sponsored by Mikage Corporation.

“Even in real life, she look like a video game character.”

“Is it because she look so unreal?” Reo replied.

—

"Meine Leibe, you have come for me," Kaiser stopped his track as soon as he heard your voice.

Pushing Isagi out of his way, he walked towards the screen with both arms out.

“This must be fate.”

☆〜（ゝ。∂）the end (for now) ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

Part 4

487 notes · View notes

chaoticbardlady99 · 5 months

Text

Maryë (Astarion x GN! AFAB Reader) MDNI 18 +

Synopsis: Astarion left to explore the world and himself following the death of the Netherbrain. You remain in Baldur’s Gate with your brother, Gale, resigning yourself to your fate as Astarion’s friend until you die. Until one day, you and Astarion begin to write letters back and forth. Except there is one letter in particular that you suspect isn’t from Astarion…

CW: minimal mentions of violence, smut, Oral (Female Receiving), PIV, Tav’s also just an oblivious idiot who apparently doesn’t think very hard about words (it’s me, I’m Tav the idiot and this is like my Fiancé and I’s friendship prior to ya know, dating lmfao)

Author note- I might also write this in AMAB! Format, but I need to do some… research first for accuracy. This is lightly edited and just some silly little thought I had. I wanted to write something not so detailed for once while I work on my drafts for Lethal Woman and She’s Not Acid Nor Alkaline. Also def stole a line from Tolkien and added to it at the end (this is me crediting).

You’ll either love this or hate this idk.

The title literally translates to Home in Elvish.

Photo belongs to idk who so please reach out if it’s yours!

As always- likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated, I am just terrible at responding.

Tav,

As much as I enjoy our current form of communication- I was wondering if I could come to see you in person.

I have so much I need to say to you and I want to be able to do it in person- the proper way.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,

Astarion

You sit and stare at the letter like you have been doing for the last week since you received it. Unlike your half-brother, Gale, you are not one for words. It was hard to respond to Astarion’s letters initially until Gale “doctored” your responses- often putting whatever silly accomplishment you have achieved lately or stories Gale found interesting from your recent solo adventures.

“Are you going to write the letter or are you hoping it’s going to write itself?” Gale teases.

You scowl at him and shake your head.

“I don’t know what to write back.”

“I could come up with a couple things!” Gale clears his throat, “‘ Oh Astarion- I’ve missed you terribly this whole time! I regret telling you that we should be friends until you figure things out! Despite my VERY WISE BROTHER’S ADVICE TO NOT DO THAT! I wait like a lovesick puppy at the mailbox every week hoping a letter may arrive!’”

You roll your eyes at him and throw one of his many decorative couch pillows at his head. He certainly has your mother’s flair for the dramatic. However, you can’t necessarily say he’s wrong- you have been nothing less than a smitten school girl waiting for letters non-stop.

Astarion had gone back to the Underdark after the last battle with the Netherbrain. He told you that he wanted to go and explore who he is- the world too.

You had been as enthusiastic as you could about the decision considering you had come up to him at the party with a letter in your hands asking if he would like to continue traveling with you after this- you had been too scared to say it outloud. A part of you hoped it may allow your romance to blossom without the impending threat of death at every corner. Well, if he still harbored any feelings for you at all.

You had merely smiled and told him how excited you are for him. It answered the silent question that had been there- was there still room in Astarion’s heart for you after you said you should just be friends and try again later?

The answer was ‘no’, despite Gale’s perplexed face and lecture when he found out you gave the spawn a send off with a ‘long’ hug (he made you describe it in detail). You refuse to give yourself any hope- you will remain a dutiful friend since you resigned yourself to this fate.

Then you received a Sending spell with him requesting your address and the letters began. You squealed like a schoolgirl when the first one came in and ripped it open enthusiastically. You didn’t realize Gale was home, otherwise you wouldn’t have read it out in the open- Tara snitched on you!

You had only truly met Gale around a couple months prior to your mutual abduction. Your mother had asked you to assist a brother you never knew about in finding magical artifacts- you quickly learned it was because the man was becoming a damn recluse.

You had worried he’d slam the door in your face or turn you into a sheep for all of eternity- the minute you told him your name was Tav Dekarios, he pulled you in for a hug and told you he had been awaiting your arrival. Gale was thrilled to know that, like him, you were also a prodigy in your craft.

You are a virtuoso master with any instrument you touch and you cast spells that are almost far too good to be true. You became Oghma’s Chosen in your teen years after spending many years practicing under his mentorship (which is why you and Gale had a very weird, serious talk one night about how Mystra is kind of a fucking pedophile) and that allowed you to do incredible things.

Your notes could create shimmery images and tell stories- Arabella and the other tiefling children (even the very tough Mol) enjoy coming over and watching war tales be told with nothing but a drum and a rain stick. Sometimes you let them tell tales and you come up with a tune to match it- eventually finding a rhythm to put your mind into and create the picture.

It was one of the many things Astarion mentioned in his note- he stated that none of the other Bards even begin to hold a candle to your talent. You blushed deeply when you read the line.

He told you about everything he had seen, everyone he had met, what he’s found out about himself, and shockingly enough- how much he misses you. It had taken you by total surprise, but you responded saying you missed him too.

Pet names began to flow easily into inked lines and it felt like you had a tiny part of him back in your life- your friendship is still as strong as it was before he left.

The letters have quickly become the best part of your week and occasionally you’ll read them with Arabella. She ooos and awwws, then attempts to bully you into tell Astarion your feelings. You cast a mini rain shower over her head with a few poetic words for the suggestion. You don’t want to ruin what you have and there is always the possibility that he found someone else.

However, you weren’t unsure of this particular note because you didn’t want to see Astarion- you would love that. The issue is that it doesn’t look like his handwriting, it isn’t the paper he uses (he’s ridiculously particular), and it doesn’t flow. Gale thinks you are over analyzing it, but you are pretty sure that this isn’t Astarion’s writing. He also addresses you as “Darling” not Tav and signs the letter of with “‘Órenya ná órelya” (my heart is your heart) not “Yours”.

You’ve waited for another note to come in since, but nothing has. You are beginning to wonder if Gale is right and you really are just being paranoid.

“I already told you, Gale,” you say with annoyance, “something isn’t right about this note. I don’t think this is from him which is worrisome because that means I haven’t heard from him in two weeks WHICH could MEAN-“

“For the love of Gods- TAV,” Gale yells, effectively shutting you up, “my young, oblivious little sibling. Just say yes and let him come visit.”

*********************************************************

It had been two days since you sent the sending stone and there was no response. Not that it would have mattered anyway considering you are somewhere in the Underdark in a very beautifully lit cave. Neon, blue veins of magic run through the rock. The pathway is lit with glowing flowers and…. Benches?

It had all happened so fast. One moment you were walking home from the market and the next- Astarion had come up to you from an alleyway and said he needed help. He had told you that he would love to catch up, but there is an injured child around the corner and since he can only stay in the shadows, he needs you to help them. Before you knew it- someone hit you with a sleep spell and the last thing you remember seeing is stars as your head slammed into the pavement. Oh and a, “oooooffff my bad” before you blacked out.

You blink your eyes a few more times, trying to figure out what in the wretched hells is going on.

“Oh for the love of- I told you to talk to Oghma’s Chosen! Not kidnap her and give her a serious concussion!”

A hazy, short figure comes into your vision. Is that…. a Deep Gnome?

“You told us it was imperative for the wedding! We intercepted the real letter and wrote this one,” another Gnome says, “and it worked! They showed up and everything! We’ve been watching since you told us to talk to her two weeks ago! We were running out of time for talking and bargaining so we just-“

“Kidnapped them!” the man yells, “you kidnapped them!? You- you imbeciles! They are supposed to want to perform for the wedding- you had at least six more hours! AND I GAVE YOU TWO WEEKS!”

“But Walby-“

Walby.

You know Walby! He and Barcus have been dating for a while now and the two are over the moon smitten. You are very happy for Barcus- this man is everything Wulbern could never be.

“No! I have had enough of your silliness! Leave me at once!”

You hear the three Gnomes that supposedly ambushed you walk off in angry huffs. A flash of healing magic fills the air and your head is finally clear- your ears no longer ringing like a triangle.

“My apologies, Ms.Dekarios,” Walby, says, “I wanted them to give you an invitation to come to Barcus’ and I’s wedding this afternoon, but as you heard, they are not the brightest bunch.

“It’s a very last minute ceremony- my mother is ill and she wants to see her ‘baby’ get married before she goes. We wanted to wait another year to plan, but oh you know how it goes!”

Walby looks at you sheepishly as you blink a few more times and let his words sink in. You look at the man and try not to throw up from sitting upright. You must have been out for a while, but not in a “oh that was a wonderful beauty nap” kind of way. You are pretty sure you have a decent amount of blood caked to the side of your head and neck right now.

“Oh, well in that case,” you offer a good natured smile, “I’ll consider this the most unique wedding invitation I’ve ever received and one I may not even have the privilege of remembering.”

The man laughs heartily as you stand up and brush your clothing off. You’re glad you wore a nicer outfit today and decided to bring your violin along- Oghma must have wanted to make sure you were prepared.

“I also wanted to ask a favor,” he says meekly, “if I haven’t fallen out of your good graces before I even stepped foot in them- that is.”

You smile and just roll your eyes.

“Consider it water under the bridge. How can I be of service?”

“Well, you see- we had asked an acquaintance of ours to play music and uh. There’s no easy way to put this, but he was run over by a herd of Deep Rothé.”

“Hmm,” you say with a snort, “tough crowd- Deep Rothés.”

Ultimately, you agreed to perform for the ceremony and the little dinner party afterwards. Your music decorated the air with golds and silvers. Barcus was thrilled to have you there and thanked you immensely for allowing his mother-in-law to “witness true magic” before she leaves this plane.

By the time you were finally leaving- you hear two very familiar voices scream your name and come barreling towards you.

*****************************************

Astarion and Gale are practically sprinting as they try to track your location through the streets of Baldur’s Gate. They had just found a large spot of your blood sticking to the cobblestone and leading to the sewer. Astarion feels sick when he notices the path leads back into the Crimson Palace. Thankfully it was through the sewer and straight to the tunnel of the Underdark.

He had sent you a letter a few days ago and he had confessed his feelings. Instead of waiting for you to respond like a sane person, Astarion got the hell out of the inn he was staying at and began the four day trek to Baldur’s Gate. The nice part about traveling alone and not needing to breath is that Astarion could run from place to place if he was in a hurry or was just fed up with traveling already.

Astarion quickly learned that it was boring to be alone and it’s far more fun to share adventures with you. He also learned that he might be a semi-decent person on his own because, in spite of being without your physical presence, he continues to fucking help people. Astarion is really over this whole moral compass thing (it only extends so far though, he’s still a proud Bastard at heart).

When he arrived at your home about an hour and a half ago, Gale had informed him that you had gone out to the Market and was confused when Astarion said his letter shouldn’t have arrived yet. It took longer than usual to write for… reasons.

Gale showed him the note you received and the two of them pieced together that someone had definitely set up a trap- just not a very good one. Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose when Gale told him that you definitely figured out the letter wasn’t from him, but Gale encouraged you to respond anyway.

A part of him is incredibly worried that some of the remaining Bhaal cultists have taken you since they are the only people he could think of that would be able to mimic his form. His stomach still turns when he thinks about the time they realized Orin had taken you. This is giving him the same queasy feeling.

So imagine his and Gale’s surprise when you are walking away from some random spot seemingly unscathed. Except Astarion won’t believe that until he has inspected you for injuries himself.

You look positively shell-shocked to see him and even more surprised when he’s taking your face gently in his hands and begins to check for injuries.

“Are you alright, Darling?” He says in a far more panicked voice than he means to, “we found blood- I thought the worst and your idiot brother! Of course that letter wasn’t from me! I have class, my Dear! I would never use that paper and WHY IN THE HELLS WOULD YOU FOLLOW ME OF ALL PEOPLE!?”

He knows his ‘rage’ doesn’t sound like rage- it sounds like a man who thought his only love had been on the brink of death only moments ago. Astarion is trying to keep a serious face, but the adoration and love in your eyes when you look at him is making him want to dissolve. He’s thrilled to see that after a whole year of not being together that your feelings haven’t waivered. Neither have his, obviously, but that’s why he’s here.

“I will say, Tav,” Gale says with exasperation, “you even gave Tara a fright- you should be expecting a very long lecture when we get home.”

“Oh I’m sure I will,” you say with a beaming smile, your eyes never leaving Astarion’s, “but I do have quite the story if you would like to hear it?”

Astarion’s grin stretches across his entire face.

“I think a good story, better company, and some wine would make for a fine evening, my Dear.”

“Gross!” Gale says, “but I’ll tag along for some wine.”

Oh dammit.

****************************

If Astarion wasn’t so busy feasting upon you- then he probably would have already hunted down those stupid Gnomes that gave him a fright and found a windmill to fling them from. Gale had left only 15 minutes ago, but Astarion had made quick work in getting you up to his room and having his way with you.

The minute Gale left, the conversation became flirty and teasing- all the want that has been pooling in his body is finally getting the release it needs. You, like always, are a sight to behold.

Your back arches when his tongue drags along your clit and Astarion pushes your hips down into the mattress as your arousal paints his lips. Your moans and desperate cries of pleasure are so delicious and his cock is painfully hard, straining against his leather pants.. He is fighting between taking his time and being selfish- chasing his own pleasure inside of you.

The moment you clench around his fingers is the same moment he unlaces his own pants and begins to remove them. You keen and whine underneath him- Astarion’s name sounds the best coming from you in this state.

Astarion should be a gentleman, hypothetically, and maybe give you a half a second to be a little less dazed from your orgasm. Except Astarion isn’t a gentleman and he isn’t patient- at all.

Astarion lifts your hips up to his until the head of his cock is aligned with your entrance and he thrusts himself inside of you. You immediately wrap your legs around his hips with a yelp of pleasure and your eyes flutter wildly as you take his whole length. Astarion smiles down at you as he slowly rocks in and out of you.

Your fingers find their way to his hair and you pull Astarion’s face down to yours- stunning him with a mind numbing kiss. He snaps his hips at the sensation and the moan you let out causes whatever resolve he had to break. Astarion releases the hold you have on his lips and kisses along your jaw up to your ear.

“Did you like that, my Love?”

You hum in approval and try to pull his mouth back to yours. He interrupts you by thrusting into you two more times with more power than the first one.

“Asta-,,” you attempt to say his name between thrusts, “Astarion please.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Pet,” he teases, “I don’t even know if I know what you like anymore- maybe you don’t even like thi-“

Your legs tighten around his hips as he goes to pull completely out of you. Astarion quirks his eyebrow at you with a smirk as you look at him with desperation.

“I more than liked it- I loved it,” you whisper with your cheeks burning from your shyness.

Oh and how Astarion loves your shyness. His hands fist the sheets as he starts his agonizingly slow rhythm inside of you again- whimpers falling from deep within your chest.

“See, Darling,” Astarion says as his face falls into the crook of your neck, “that wasn’t so difficult, now was it?”

He doesn’t even give you a chance to respond before Astarion’s hips begin to pick up speed and his mouth covers yours. As much as he loves to hear you moan- he doesn’t care to share that experience with any of the patrons that had been obviously checking you out while you were catching up.

Astarion groans against your lips as he continues to fuck you relentlessly- his fangs nip at your lower lip and lap at the tiny droplets of blood that seep from the punctures.

You are a mess underneath him and you feel incredible in every way possible. Astarion never wanted this to stop in the first place- back when he had told you his feelings and you said it would be best to be friends for the time being.

Perhaps that’s what causes him to slow down and kiss you deeply- making up for the lack of speed with more force. One of his hands trails along your chest and begins to tease your sensitive nipples- your walls clench around him hard when he begins to pinch and roll the right one and your orgasm coats him as he moves to play with the left.

You kiss him sloppily and he’s lazily thrusting into you- his own Little Death following yours within seconds. Astarion collapses on top of you as he begins to soften inside of you. The smell of you and him mixed together is intoxicating and your heartbeat is hammering from the pleasure- your eyes glassy and tired with bliss. He laughs breathily before placing a kiss on your swollen lips.

Astarion lifts you up ever so slightly so that he can pull the blanket down and over you, then he adjusts himself and you so that you are curled up with your ear pressed against his chest. He strokes your hair absentmindedly and you lightly draw shapes on his chest.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” you say sleepily, “I’ve missed you so much.”

I’ve missed you too, Darling,” Astarion says while pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I’m happy to be home.”

“Oh I’m sure Baldur’s Gate is-“

“You are my home,” Astarion interrupts you, “I’ve come to realize that wherever you are is where I want to be.”

You look up at him with tears in your eyes and happiness in your heart.

“But what about exploring your new life and all of that jazz?”

“Darling, I wouldn’t have a life if it weren’t for you,” Astarion states, “you helped me kill Cazador and break the cycle of ongoing abuse. You gave me life so I could live it and I want to live it with you. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay with just being friends and holding back my feelings. I want to share my life with you.

“I know this may all seem very fast, but” Astarion grabs his pants off the ground and he feels his stomach turn as he pulls the box out of his pocket, “I know I love you- that’s probably the only thing I’ve ever been sure of in my entire 239 years of existence. I- I wanted to know if you would… marry me?”

Your lips are on his within seconds and the two of you become entangled in soft kisses until you have to pull back for air. You lean your forehead against his and meet his gaze.

“I love you so much, Astarion. Yes- yes I will marry you,” you say tearfully, “I want to share my life with you too.”

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winns-stuff · 6 months

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LO RANT:

TRIGGER WARNING: SA

Okay I’m back again and it’s only to say this.. The comments on the new fastpass are genuinely disgusting. I don’t care how you put it or feel about both characters it’s absolutely deranged to ship or want a redemption arc for a rapist, maybe I’m being too harsh but I can’t find soft words to use for this. The fact that there’s so many people girlbossing this entire situation as a “I got the entire lineage on my shoulders!!! I slept with the brothers and the father!!!!” thing is weird to me because these fans are all missing the point of Hera’s entire story and it makes no sense that as I’m ALWAYS saying these fans are quite literally shipping rapists with their victims when the entire point of Lore Olympus was to shed light and bring awareness to Sexual Assault that is not violent or gruesome in physical action.

And we all know why this is happening, Rachel doesn’t know how to properly handle this situation and it’s clear that that’s how this is coming across to her fans. They don’t see this as a rape survivor story they see this as another dark romance since she doesn’t bother on actually addressing the assault in a respectful and dignified way, every single time she adds another sexual assault in her story she’s always glamorizing it or diminishing it whenever she gets tired of writing about it and it’s infuriating. Your fans should know better than to ship victims with their abusers and you wanna know why? Because you pride your comic on healthy relationships and mental health talks, you use the sexual assault as some kind of badge to show everyone that you know what you’re talking about when it’s clear that you will abandon all real representation of a situation that affects millions of people around the world just for crappy fan service.

Lore Olympus fans are groomed to dismiss these arcs since they’re not even treated like they’re serious and it doesn’t seem like Rachel takes it serious as well, she’s never taken any advice from survivors who aren’t pleased with how she portrays SA and she completely ignores the feelings of those truly affected by the traumatic events that she shoves into her webcomic just so it’ll stay “interesting”. I’m tired of Rachel getting away with drawing absolute trauma porn and I’m sick of her sexualizing every single woman we come across, how many times do we have to continue this long and excruciating pattern of giving the women of your comic terrible consequences and make them suffer just for drama and nothing else. How many other situations are you willing to completely spit on just to look self aware?

This is honestly the last straw because there’s been so many people genuinely shipping Hera and Kronos and also saying borderline disgusting things just to defend stuff like that. Rachel needs to say something, you cannot just sit back and be quiet while your fans openly admit to wanting to see a rapist and his victim together for the sake of your own comic and “beloved” main character hell even for a lot of your fans you need to speak up about this and address it letting a mindset like that fester in a fandom probably filled with survivors of assault is a disservice to them and it’s a slap in the face to the comfort that your webtoon gave them.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lore olympus criticism #lore olympus critical #antiloreolympus

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audiblehush · 2 months

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Listen, I’m on the “I’ll believe it when I see it” train with all these inconsistent S3 rumors because 1) LOL the fucking Sun, people, really?! and 2) “Well, the friend of my friend said… and they’re really reliable! Trust me!” 🙄

But even if it all ends up being true: I’ve already seen a handful of great posts talking about no, it’s NOT actually harming Colin’s character, thanks, and would make a lot of sense from what we know about where he’s at mentally so far - I’ll try not to rehash stuff they’ve already argued really well… and probably fail once i get going 😬

But I would also like to throw out that canonically… Book!Colin ALSO had experience prior to his relationship with Penelope?? Not to rakeish levels, but yeah, he had sexual encounters with women… That he then specifically mentions as meaning NOTHING once he compares it to what he has with Penelope because with her there is actual LOVE built over YEARS of INTIMACY.

And since Show!Colin is markedly younger than his book counterpart, it would make sense that this is something he is exploring, whether the initial choice is through coercion from his brother(s), or because he is curious, or… whatever he reason is?? It doesn’t matter??

He’s YOUNG. Being young means being curious about sex! It often means learning over time the difference between mere physicality vs intimacy. Learning about sex can be messy, confusing, wonderful, terrible, mediocre, not what you thought it’d be, etc etc etc.

Regardless of if we’re taking about Penelope OR Colin: Context is everything and WE. DON’T. HAVE. ANY. YET.

Penelope has her own coping mechanism for what she’s dealing with on her own throughout the show with LW; why is Colin any different, whether that’s drinking, tea, sex, etc? He’s clearly exploring different aspects of himself and finding what appeals or doesn’t appeal to him. And that’s normal!!

The IRONY of people claiming they’re furious at Colin treating women like sex toys… when that’s exactly how some people view Colin for Penelope. He is more than a prop for her! Their whole story is that they choose each other after years of self discovery and recognition of each others true selves… ALL of their past experiences included.

Even if the rumored second instance is true… 1) it would clearly be used as a way to prove that he’s miserable and NEEDS love and Pen and intimacy and 2) characters make mistakes... often ones they learn from. Pen has made her fair share of poor choices, too. Colin has and WILL make mistakes because that is what interesting, developing characters do, yet y’all act like he is unforgivable for being given his own plot scenes. He is NOT just there to have sex with Penelope!! He is a character outside of his romance with his own struggles to grapple with!

Also, please be real - this was SO NORMAL for men during this era, especially at his age! Why are MODERN DAY AUDIENCES acting so fucking scandalized?? One or two instances doesn’t even make him a real rake, ESPECIALLY if it’s being framed as him realizing it isn’t what he ultimately wants! Why are you even watching this show if something like this is so offensive to you?!

If all this ends up being accurate (which again, I doubt), I will admit I’ll probably be picky about how it’s handled… but I’ve always felt that way about this pairing in the short time I’ve been in the fandom.

But I NEED people to chill the fuck out until the season actually airs. You’re lambasting something you HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN YET.

#bridgerton #polin #colin bridgerton #BREAKING: HEALTHY AND CURIOUS YOUNG MAN TRIES OUT SEX IN ERA-APPROPRIATE FASHION #MORE AT ELEVEN #I did not get out of Catholicism to be seeing this pearl clutching in a SMUTTY REGENCY SHOW #take your great value Christianity purity culture and GTFO

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absolutebl · 7 months

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This Week in BL - A Lot Ended, Quite Bit Started, I got things to say about it all

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 3 of 8 - This is just a great BL. So fun with few frills and paced nicely. Thai talent + Korean story is proving very harmonious for narrative flow. I’m delighted. I love that they don’t shy away from letting Tew be an actual violent criminal who is just gone and mushy for this one geeky cutie. Also I appreciate it when a show hangs a lantern on its own plot failing. In this case, the main character being drunk as a plot devise 2x in subsequent eps.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 2 of 10 - Love it. Love Spite and his chronic guilt over his younger brother, the golden child. Love that he is driven to repair for a past that no longer exists. Evil mom who cares more for what her son can do than that son, let alone his brother. The volleyball well…. erm. I played varsity (setter) so this is amusing to me but I’m not mad about it.

I agree that this Not Me just sports and pulp.

Last Twilight (Fri YT) 1 of 12 - JimmySea are back and is this... good? Do I like this? I don't have faith, GMMTV has been doing us dirty lately. But I think I like it! Why The Little Prince AGAIN? Ugh.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI 1 of 8 - Domundi giving us an office comedy hyung romance staring TutorYim (Cutie Pie) with NetJames (Bed Friend) and LeoTai (Friend Forever) providing support. Lets hope they stick to only 8 eps. Buckle up, I got shit talking to type.

I warned ya out the gate that this is a Cheewin comedy, so tonally it could be very OFF, and boy howdy is it EVER off. There's a place this kind of show goes where it's so cringe it's visually rotten and this one went there out that gate. Also, I'm gonna say it because no one else has, Yim is not good in this role. Comedy is HARD to do and Cheewin isn't doing this green actor any favors. He's chewing the scenery like a woodchuck after a diet.

To be fair, Tutor isn't great either, but he's been given less rope to hang himself with. Mai is currently suffering from seme obscurity: the love interest's defining characterization being = tall and handsome. (Which is not characterization... agony... glares at Cdramas.) We will see if he gets a personality, but based on past work form this director and this writer, don't bank on it.

Frankly? I'm not convinced either of them are mature enough as a pair or as actors to carry something this abrasive and to stand up to Cheewin's visual abuse of our eyeballs. I think this is going to be a rocky ride. HOWEVER, because it has tropes I'm good with (as opposed to SCOY) I'm sticking with it for now but this is gonna be ROUGH going for everyone.

Backstory: This used to be a JimmyTommy vehicle before the pair split (also prev title Middle Love). Adapted from a Y-novel. I can actually see Tommy in this role very clearly and I suspect he may have been bettern(and I am more a TutorYim fan as a pair). Also I will likely be referencing SCOY a lot while watching this because SCOY is peak Cheewin nonsense comedy but with an incredibly strong lead pair, so comparisons will be drawn.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - Sigh. Linguistic negotiation but for sad reasons? It fascinating but it hurts. Look, the cast is very good I just don’t like the premise.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) The Camp Fire ep 12 of 24 - Well that was extremely odd. I’m not sure how I feel about it. If it hadn’t had the strange framework and horror component and been just a simple BL story I probably would’ve enjoyed it. Why do the pulps always squander their best pairs? 5/10 New installment (Friends Forever) looks terrible and not BL.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) qp 1 of 8 - House of Stars meets Boyband. I am not impressed. Thailand just needs to leave everything music related to Korea. I’m enacting a ban. The framework on this is truly awful. The talent is not talented in acting let alone dance or song. I thought about sticking with it a few more eps but i putting in on hold. It’s too wooden even for me.

@heretherebedork I depend on you to report back. This is the kind of thing only you can watch. It’s like Cupid 2023.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - previously know as Weather Forecast Love this one popped up in MDL's currently airing, and I was like, what what? Basically: Tsundere insomniac grump and his sunshine jock ex bestie (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is involved and I love it.

It ended, are we sad? REVIEWS

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Viki & Gaga)

Yes, we sad! Ai Di and his dumb oversized sweaters and flappy flappy sleeves are EVERYTHING.

Final ep? Nice that the elder gays got screen time, more of this please? Sides dominated this finale, matched outfits and all. Also I’m living for the Bless this Mess shirt. Finally Taiwan gave us lots of biting and a counter lift. It’s like they know me!

Quick pitch for KDTM?

The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan. 9/10 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Triggers for knife play, child abuse, lingering trauma. I found both platforms did not do a great job on subs, but I will give the edge to Viki for pure usability.

You Are Mine (Taiwan Viki & Gaga)

We are more disappointed than sad.

Far be it from me to extend this show, but we should’ve had 2 episodes of quality supportive boyfriends coping with family drama before the mom-confrontation climax and defense of the ESTABLISHED relationship. Baby's little speach had no power or impact coming where it did in this narrative, even though it was sweet. And while the make-out scenes were charming it mostly jsut felt like we'd squandered this pair. This last ep was good and rewatchable, but a series cannot be judged on its last ep alone.

Finally... could have used some side dishes. My vote? Lesbian secretaries!

Conclusion

I am sorry Taiwan, you know I love you, but I have to say it: this show was a mess of terrible pacing. And not a hot mess, sadly. I should have liked everything about this: it’s an office drama, it’s mature characters, it’s grumpy/sunshine, it’s a strong power dynamic, and it’s Taiwan - which means good chemistry. YAM was all those things and yet… something went horribly wrong with the narrative structure. You tried dears, but not hard enough. 7/10

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga)

Well, poop. Don’t have them speak English. Also no playing drunk. Meanwhile, all the manipulative gay drama. No kiss of course.

How do I summate this?

An idol group did the best they could with a script tailored to idols but which they were not allowed to fully realize because they are active idols in the same group. Ultimately it felt a bit like OnlyOneOf were just doing one of those Kpop skits for a variety show were two of of them dresses in drag/gay/BL and "ha ha isn't it funny?" I don’t know, it was fine? 6/10

stop wasting my time, Korea

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YT)

DNF on the advice of several of my BL spies I will not be finishing this. Apparently it pretty much ends sad. Here's an explanation.

It's Airing But...

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) 8 eps - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. I will try it when I have some time and access to my home computer.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) 6 eps - adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

WAITING FOR VERDICT OR TO BINGE

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14eps - this is a horror BL with ghosts & paranormal elements in a boarding school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools. I'm holding off on this one and if told it's good I'll binge watch.

Next Week Looks Like This

11/15 Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo (Japan Gaga) - this BL movie is coming to Gaga.

11/16 PLAYBOYY (Thurs ????) 10 eps - trailer here, high heat and it's helmed by Cheewin (shudder) with screenplay by Den (Only Friends) under Copy A Bangkok. It's gonna be a shizz show people. It's predicting Thai style "dark" (War of Y) one of my least favorites. Apparently there is a "plot" but when has Cheewin ever bothered with plot? A university kid who was involved with escorts, sex-trade, porn, online hook-ups, drugs, prostitution, blackmail, revenge, and so forth goes missing. His twin (sigh) and two friends look for him.

11/17 Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 14 - high heat teaser here, based on alittlebixth's omegaverse novel #พิษเบ๊บ’ set in the world of car racing (author says show will not be omegaverse). Charlie (fresh face), a young hot nerd, approaches his driver idol (Pavel "my love" 2 Moons 2) to borrow a racing car and win one for the team. Production house is new to BL but behind the Club Friday stuff. Show stars many known actors: Nut (Oxygen), Pop (Ram in La Cuisine), Pon (Phai in Gen Y, we LOVE him), Benz (twins in En of Love: This Is Love Story).

Thailand bring the November heat, I guess?

Upcoming November BL

11/19 Bake Me Please (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - trailer here, stars Ohm (of OhmFluke) opposite Guide (bestie from IFYLITA) and possibly also Poom (well known, but not for BL). This looks like an actually gay version of Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). Still, I'm intrigued, it looks HELLA pretty.

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Weds ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). When you want your old love again, but fate sends you a reaper instead. All he can do for you is kill people. I'll likely give this a pass and wait to binge if safe.

11/25 The Sign (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk, but with a suspense and adult characters. Special investigators who loved each other in previous lives reunite in new bodies. Stars Billy Patchanon (BillySeng) & Babe Tanatat (new). Includes other SCOY favorites as a special investigation team. I may give this a try because I'm into the non-horror bits.

11/26 The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - trailer here. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. Maybe a binge for me.

11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.

11/30 For Him (Thurs ????) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer, I suspect iQIYI will scoop this one up. From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in! Maybe I'll do a trash watch?

VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA

A Breeze of Love (Korea) - I know less than nothing about this.

Nov 2023 line up with screen caps here. Not kept updated.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

This is in the intro card of My Dear Gangster Oppa, I'm just amusing myself.

Thank you Keseki for givign this to us twice!

Also the tears! So pretty crying.

And, of course, my favorite the biting!

Have I mentioned recently how much I love Taiwanese BL?

(Last week)

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cosmerelists · 5 months

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Do the Cosmere Secret Projects Follow the Rules of the Cosmere?

[Big spoilers for Sanderson Secret Projects #1, #3, and #4!]

A while ago, I wrote a list proposing some Rules of the Cosmere--aka, trends or themes that tended to crop up in most Cosmere works. Now that I've read all of the Secret Projects, though, I had to wonder: do they also follow the definitely ironclad rules that I once proposed? Let's consider!

1. Don’t feed the children

Summary of Rule: If you try to feed a hungry child in a Cosmere book, something terrible will happen.

Off to a bad start! I don't think this rule came up at all. I don't recall any children being fed, really.

2. Once Marriage is On The Table, Breakups Don’t Really Happen

Summary of Rule: Once characters get to the point of marriage, be they engaged or in an arranged marriage or just solidly A Thing, it is rare for them to break up.

Yes, the secret projects did adhere to this rule, I think! The best example is from Tress--I remember how SHOCKED I was when word came that the Duke's son really had gotten married. I was like, "How is that possible? Sanderson would NEVER allow a couple like Tress and Charlie to be broken up by Charlie marrying someone else!" And then, of course, it wasn't Charlie at all. Charlie stayed single...until he could get back together with Tress. In Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, the romance was pretty much between Yumi and Painter--not even death could prevent that. Sigzil sadly did not have a lot of time for romance in The Sunlit Man, so the rule didn't really come into play there.

3. Your enemy will save you...if the sexual tension is high enough

Summary of Rule: An enemy with enough sexual tension will often sacrifice themself to save the other person.

Honestly, I don't think we really had this in any of the Cosmere Secret projects? The only fierce enemies I can think of would be Tress & Crow or Sigzil & the Ember King...but there wasn't any sacrifice-to-save-the-other going on there.

4. Your fave is (accidentally) queer

Summary of Rule: Sanderson loves to write characters who are deeply deeply queer without seeming to realize it.

Oh yes--this rule is eternal, and the Secret Projects did not disappoint. There's Yumi herself, Miss "Oh-my-god-I-just-saw-a-goddess," our (second?) favorite bisexual queen (does Sanderson know he made a lady bi again?). And then in the Sunlit Man, there's an exchange that I'm not sure is actually an accidental queering since it seemed so blatant, when Rebeke was asked if she was now "The Sunlit Woman" and replied "No, the Sunlit One." Is there a way to read that other than as nobinary/genderqueer?

5. Don’t trust the underling priest!

Summary of Rule: If betrayal is happening, it's probably the fault of the nearest underling priest.

Honestly, I think the only "priests" we had were in Yumi, and if anything, this was a deconstruction. The "head priestess" would be Liyun, I think, and she was horrible and abusive. The "underlings," Chaeyung and Hwanji were actually far more supportive and actually told Yumi some about what was really going on. So I guess in these books you should trust the underling priest(esses).

6. (per @twitcherpated) If there are same gender siblings, there will be a romantic triangle involving them.

Summary of Role: If there are two brothers and two sisters, they will inevitably be romantically linked to the same person.

I agree with this rule addition proposed by twitcherpated, which does crop up over and over again in the Cosmere. But in the Secret Projects, I think the only same-gender siblings we had were Rebeke and Elegy, and I don't think it works with them. Like, I suppose you could imagine a love triangle with Sigzil...but I don't really buy it. Rebeke was interested in Sigzil, but he didn't reciprocate, and Elegy was too busy loving the thrill of murder to have a romantic interest in Sigzil herself. I guess they both did want Sigzil to themselves, in a way. So maybe it does kinda work?

7. Hoid is there

Summary of Rule: Hoid likes to show up wherever plot is happening

Yes! The Secret Projects 100% adhere to this rule. Hoid is the narrator in Tress and Yumi, and he shows up briefly in The Sunlit Man. Hoid will not be stopped.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #ssp1 #ssp3 #ssp4 #ssp1 spoilers #ssp3 spoilers #ssp4 spoilers

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haesunflower · 1 year

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thank the stars | royalty au with ricky

(written in the stars final chapter)

✩ chapter 1, chapter 2 , chapter 3 ✩

genre: romance, angst

pairing: princess reader x prince ricky

about/tags: your life changes, and suddenly you have to rule Astoria. Ricky lets you know he'll always be there for you – and he means it. (2.6k+ words)

y/n is a princess, death, grief/mourning, i cried while writing this

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—--

Your brother can barely stay awake nowadays. And for that reason, you visit him everyday, bringing with you stories about your day and sharing the little adventures you and Ricky have. You know what’s coming, in fact, everyone in the palace does. All hope seems to have gone as the days go by without any semblance of improvement on the Crown Prince Hanbin’s health. And while you try to mentally prepare for the loss of your brother, you don’t want to.

“Sister, are you going to keep bothering me everyday like this?” Even in his condition, Hanbin finds a way to make light of the situation. You smile, just to humor him and decide to banter back.

“In all honesty brother, it’s you that’s a nuisance. Please get better so I no longer have to deal with your astronomical amounts of paperwork”. This time, he’s the one that smiles, somberly. “How is that, by the way? Preparing to rule?” while the conversation had gotten more serious, you don’t blame him for asking. He knows his time will come to an end soon.

“I’m terrified everyday...I’m…I’m not as great as you are, brother. I’m severely underprepared and extremely overwhelmed. And the only good thing in my life right now, well, I don’t even know if he’ll stay. He too, has a kingdom to look after.”

You drop your head down to his bed, letting choked sobs out. You’ve never said these things out loud to anyone. On a personal note, you are not even aware of what is more terrifying – ruling the country unprepared, losing your brother, never getting the chance to love Ricky. You suppose you’re crying about all three.

Hanbin feels terrible at the sight of his youngest sister. You’re right next to him, but he doesn’t even have the energy to sit up and wipe your tears away. “I’m sorry, Y/N….” is all he can say. He too, lets a few tears roll past his eyes.

After a few minutes of quiet sobs, you take his hands in yours to say “It’s not your fault Hanbin. I’ll make you proud, I promise.” You notice the tears that have stained his velvet pillow, and bring up a handkerchief to wipe away at the remaining streaks on his face. The last thing he says to you is “I never doubted you for a moment, sister. You’ll achieve great things as Astoria’s Queen.”

With the confidence that your brother instills in you, you decide that it’s time to let Ricky know the truth. Your new duty is to be a proud leader of your country – to make Hanbin proud, to continue the line of succession of your parents, and to be a Queen to the people. You plan to tell him all of that tomorrow.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—--

Your plan fails, because Hanbin summoned crown prince Quanrui to visit his chambers that evening. Ricky crosses paths with the King and Queen as they exit Hanbin’s chambers. The crown prince of Solaria bows respectfully, and the Queen of Astoria gently places her hands on his shoulders.

“Don’t be too alarmed with his state. Right now, treat him as you would normally do – he needs a friend.” Ricky is confused by the Queen’s statement, but nods anyway.

Despite the warning, Prince Quanrui gets the shock of his life when he first sees Hanbin. While his family may be used to his symptoms, others might not be. He is much smaller now with graying skin. His hair sticks to his forehead from the layer of sweat that covers his body. He also coughs out blood every now and then, and his voice is so small and hoarse, it’s hard to listen to.

“Ah, my dear friend. Come sit.” Hanbin chokes out.

Ricky doesn’t know what to say, as all this time he had thought Hanbin had been on an expedition or managing diplomatic affairs in other countries. He had no idea his dear friend had been in the castle, slowly rotting away. To be fair, it was a well kept secret.

“Why was I not informed, Hanbin? Did you nor Y/N not care to tell me?” Ricky is trying not to sound too betrayed. Not when Hanbin is looking at him apologetically. “No one knows about my sickness, only my family and the royal staff. And I wanted to keep it that way for a while…” Hanbin trails off as he welcomes a fit of coughs.

“Ricky, the truth is I’m not going to get any better. This is the end of the line for me.” Ricky is studying his friend’s face and he finds no hint of sadness, rather, acceptance of his fate. Ricky doesn't know how to react to that statement. So, he places his hands against his mouth, contemplating on what to tell Hanbin.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know. But, I need to ask you one last thing before I am unable to” more coughs erupt from Hanbin, and Ricky patiently waits for him to speak again. “It’s about Y/N…she’s so terrified, Ricky. Will you take care of her when I’m gone?”

On the outside, it’s a simple question. For royals however, it brings about a million implications. What Hanbin really wants to ask is Will you stay with her here once I am gone? Will you give up being the King of Solaria for Y/N? Will you continue to promise to love her until the end of time?

“Wherever she may be, I will be standing right next to her. Always.”

With that response, Hanbin nods in satisfaction. Both Hanbin and Ricky remember a time when they were young boys, sparring in the courtyard. One of their many wagers had been your hand in marriage. If Ricky could beat Hanbin, he’d let him marry his sister. When that was on the line, Ricky had never lost to Hanbin, not even once.

“I’m grateful to have known you, Ricky. Take care, my friend.” Hanbin musters up all his energy to reach out his hand for Ricky to take in a handshake. And although it is out of character for Ricky, he puts Hanbin’s arm down and instead envelopes him in a hug.

“I’ll miss you, dear friend. Save me a sparring session up there, maybe you’ll be able to beat me by then.” Hanbin and Ricky laugh.

That night, as Ricky leaves Hanbin’s chambers, he understands why you desperately kept asking him to wait for you. Why you cling to him like it’s the last time you are able to. And why it seems like you love him back, but cannot seem to verbalize it in any way.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—--

The next time your family is complete is during the funeral of the late prince Hanbin. Though you wouldn’t consider your family to be complete ever again, not with the loss of your brother. The palace was opened to the public, and it seemed like the whole kingdom was in attendance. The service was beautiful. Your sister and royal knight Jiwoong even traveled back to Astoria. And despite all that has happened, you enveloped each other in a hug the moment you saw each other. You both cried for what seemed like days.

Naturally, the whole kingdom mourns. The palace is extremely somber, and the nights feel longer and colder. A lot of Astoria folk find themselves gazing up at the newly formed constellation – a discovery you made the night your brother died. You named the stars after him, of course.

You’re at the observatory with Ricky again as you go through old portraits of your families together. You laugh at the stiff royal paintings that feature all the Astoria and Solaria children. You share childhood memories of Hanbin together, and exchange kind words about him. In the end, you are grateful to have been his younger sister – to have learned what it meant to be a leader directly from growing up with him.

You do not want to have this type of conversation with Ricky, but you feel that it is the responsible thing to do. As rulers of your own respective kingdoms.

“I fear I’ll never measure up to him” you admit. “I’m more than terrified, I fear I’ll be a disappointment to my people, my family, to him” your voice is shaking, and you close the trunk that’s filled with portraits and childhood memories.

“Y/N listen..” Ricky takes both your hands in his, forcing you to look him in the eye. “You are the most intelligent and passionate person I know. You are selfless, kind, and beautiful inside and out. The people of Astoria do not know you the way I do, not yet at least. Let them see you for who you are, and everything will come into place. I am sure you will rule greatly, I’m confident that you will.”

Ricky smiles mischievously before he adds “and again, your only flaw is that you are terribly unfunny.” you smile, you will miss his candor when he returns home. “And if it’s any consolation, I’m here. You can always rely on me.”

Your brows furrow, and you remove your hands from his when you say “but that is the issue, Ricky. You cannot be here forever. You are bound to return to Solaria eventually, I am positive that your family has been missing their crown prince”

Prince Quanrui has been away from home for almost 9 months. You are unaware of this passage of time, having been busy with your crown princess education and the loss of your brother. And in between all the responsibilities and chaos, you cannot count the amount of times you found solace in the warm embrace and soft kisses of Prince Quanrui.

“I do not need to return to Solaria, only if you command me to do so, my Y/N”. He smiles, and you cannot tell if he is being serious.

“Ricky, you do realize that I cannot command you to do anything as we are of the same royal stature, we’re equals now as in line to the throne, remember?”

“And that is where you are severely mistaken.” Your lips pout in confusion, and you look at him expecting an explanation “I’ve long withdrawn my eligibility to the crown in Solaria. Prince Gyuvin is the crown prince now.

Your younger half brother? you thought. “B-but why? And do not say something foolish, do not say it is because you love me”

“But that is my answer.”

“You love me enough to abandon your kingdom? Your people, your subjects, your family. Ricky you’ve been trained your whole life to rule Solaria – and you’re going to just leave? Just like that?” You honestly do not know what kind of answer you are searching for. Perhaps it is validation you seek, that someone is capable of loving you so greatly to put you first.

“I would abandon all duty for you.”

Oh. You think. Love, so it is capable of being that easy.

You are so emotionally moved by this declaration. How easy it is for Ricky to just choose love above all things. How Ricky patiently waited for you, just like you asked. How he didn’t ask any questions when you told him you would be next in line for the throne. How that would mean that he cannot marry you and make you his queen in Solaria. How he would rather withdraw his position just to be closer to you, here, in Astoria. How that is exactly what he did, as he wrote his letter to the King and Queen of Solaria shortly after his last conversation with Hanbin.

“Y/N, you and I both know my heart has always been here with you in Astoria anyway.”

You move closer to him and desperately envelope him in a tight embrace. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, like the very first night he kissed you. He’s a little taken aback, but reciprocates almost immediately. Your touch evokes more words that you could ever utter – feelings of love, gratefulness, relief, above all, happiness.

When Ricky kissed you that night, you understood that this was exactly how it was meant to be all along. As if the very act of loving you is his duty itself.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—--

The royal wedding of the Crown Princess of Astoria happens a year after Hanbin’s death. Prince Ricky, who will soon gain the title of Royal Prince of Astoria, stands proudly in the garden of stars. Like you, he’s dressed in all white. Your wedding ceremony is fully decorated with red roses, personally delivered by the King and Queen of Solaria.

As you walk down the aisle, your long jeweled dress flows against the gentle breeze of the night sky. Ricky is smiling, the biggest you’ve ever seen – even as he is under a plethora of constellations, he thinks you’re the most beautiful star tonight.

His parents, the King and Queen of Solaria, watch him as he looks at you. And his mother gives his son a genuine smile in return, before whispering something to her husband (if i’m not mistaken, along the lines of ‘he’s happy here’). Meanwhile, the crown prince Gyuvin snickers and tries to hold back his laughter at how lovesick his brother looks.

Your sister sits proudly in the second row with King Hao of Mariposa by her side. She gives you a small wave, smiling brightly. Next to her, Hao is clapping, nodding gently towards you. Your sister reaches out to give a supportive squeeze to his shoulder, and he takes her hand in his. Throughout the ceremony, your sister and King Hao hold hands. He doesn’t feel pain anymore. Knight Jiwoong is also close by, watching over little Yujin and Yeseo. But sometimes, he cannot help but glance at the way his Queen and the King of Mariposa intertwine fingers.

Your father hands you off to walk on your own. And as he takes his seat next to your mother, they smile at each other. Your mother takes his hand in hers comfortingly, as tears threaten to spill from both their eyes.

When you reach him at the end of the aisle, he takes your hand, ungloves it, and presses a kiss. Everything feels right as you share your first kiss as a married pair. You have no coherent thoughts as he presses his warm lips against yours, the same passion and electricity pulses through you as he kisses you deeper. He cuts it short, out of respect for the audience, and you giggle a little when he whispers “more of that later”

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—--

After the wedding ceremony and the consummation of your marriage – you and Ricky find yourselves lying peacefully in bed. The moonlight enters your bedchamber and lands beautifully on his platinum hair. You watch as Ricky’s bare chest rises and falls, his breathing steady – a sure indicator that he has fallen into deep slumber. So you inch yourself closer to him, caressing his cheek with the back of your hand oh so delicately.

But he isn’t exactly asleep, and in response, he pulls you towards him even more. Your face is safely tucked into his chest, his arm is draped around your waist, and your legs have since intertwined into a tangled mess.

“Thank you for waiting for me. I love you.” You whisper. You mean it.

He hums, opening his eyes to check on you. This time, your eyes are closed as you settle in a comfortable position, nuzzled into him. He pats through your hair softly, before turning to the side to look at the window where Hanbin’s constellation shines brightly.

Then, he thanks the stars for the existence of his Y/N.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—--

A/N: i cried guys, real tears

what do we think about the ending for all characters?

✩ chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3✩ ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

taglist: @en-ct @honghongbri @beomibeom @jiaant11 @ohdudedhesflirting (and tagging other people that left comments on other chapters @cherriegyu @annoyingbitch83 @missuszabini @aleinasstuff @wtfhyuck @zhanghrt @flwrinn @xiaoting999 @xmxcris @seokmthw @kyrjnie @dimplewonie @leoonoa @shiningstar-byulxx @wonbokkies) @kflixnet

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reilliane · 4 months

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This is my personal obligatory post and apology for my poofing disappearance- if you're not up to read things like these, then feel free to scroll past! Have a good day/night!

—

the poofing, the poofed, and the un-poofing.

TLDR; Bad stuff happened for the entire past year, stopped college just a few months ago to learn the materials myself and market myself in the graphic design industry soon, and got a whole dose of religious epiphany that threw my life around. Wrote in a different account a few months ago to ease and destress without much expectation. Will continue to write albeit there won’t be many updates, had/have to drop original writing plans [right now focusing on a short story for Wanderer, though it doesn’t mean I won’t be able to write for others when I get the time]. May unfortunately discontinue ongoing AUs but will provide a summary for them [I think it’s only Tyranny-?] Will also open writing/art commissions soon, maybe set up a kofi account, but I won’t be ‘gatekeeping’ any content I plan to post. I’m thinking, if ever, it’d only be standalone specials or maybe nsfw [gosh I’m really saying that?] in kofi, buuut that’s just a maybe. Everything else is free to read of course <3

A really detailed and long [I MEAN IT, MAYBE 1.3-.5K?? WC] exposition under the cut, but of course, it’s optional to read!

PS. I opened my drafts and had one or two finished works there, I will publish those soon. Get ready. Because they’re angst AHAAAAAAAAAA-

PPS. I won’t be able to respond to everyone’s sweet shucking messages in my inbox forgive me But know that I’M REALLY SO TOUCHED YALL I really didn’t think anyone would look for me that much 😭 Someone said I vanished like the avatar and it’s sending me crumpling to the floor.

ALRIGHT STORYTIME LET’S GO—first of all, I haven’t been on Tumblr for so long, nor have I interacted with anyone and coming back,, the web interface bamboozled me.

Anyway- the past year was roooough, like settling in and getting into college.

From the start, my brother and I have known of our depleting resources but couldn’t stop because of our mother’s insistence and my father’s very.. volatile attitude. Double the latter since he has cancer and has been nothing short of cranky and infuriated for the past years—knowing that the money is facing a downward slope because of his expensive medicines and learning that we’ll stop because of it would’ve,, been terribly bad and that's understating the nature of my headstrong, independent, and prideful father.

There were times when he was very somber about his state, but then mad—it was just a really bad time, but my brother and I finally convinced our mom that we had to stop for real a few months ago because money was just tight. Until now we’re hiding the fact from our dad that we stopped under the pretense that we’re only taking one course for the semester :v

We were very lost and torn.

I knew I had to go out and look for a job, but my brother would be doing the same, too—the thing was that we knew our mom couldn’t handle our dad being sick alone, so my brother opted to be the one to find work outside.

I’m learning materials and courses on my own at home, but finding a remote job without a degree is no doubt near unimaginable with how remote setups are almost nonexistent now. The time was just bleak at home, too, my father would ask for bad things to eat that would worsen his health and then blame it all on my mother when he felt body pains and repercussions—it was just BAD, that wasn't all of it, but I digress. Cancer sucks.

Just a few days ago, I lost my uncle to the same thing, and now there’s an overall family dispute over who gets what and it feels like I’m living a kdrama fever dream [pls get me out hfasjdkfhdsaf]. I don’t recommend it if it’s not romance lmao.

Things were getting so out of hand and I also couldn’t get back into writing or socializing with everyone in my writing socials—but I still wanted to write without the expectation of being able to deliver as I used to. It was a de-stresser for me, so I opened a new account in ao3/quotev and wrote in.. November or December, I think. It was nice, I got to just type away and post and leave it at that.

I think one of the reasons why I didn’t go to Tumblr for that was because I knew I wouldn’t be able to commit to updates, and I love you guys, I didn’t want to say something and promise it’d be given but then nothing. I’ve done it back then and I just, don’t want to do that :(

Despite how heavy and dark the past year was, however, something really unexpected happened—okay here it goes.

As a child, I’ve been taught about Christian doctrine and was brought up to believe in the existence of a God. I didn’t have my heart in it though, of course not, how was I to believe something that I only knew because someone said it to me?? I did attend church out of duty and had a shallow fear of the greater being, but as an authentic believing person? Naw.

Not until June at least.

I don’t know how to explain it rather I, out of the want to give my mother the chance to go somewhere she wanted to for Sunday, decided to join her for church. I was ready to just daze off and think about some solution to our problems, but then the sermon spoke to me—you know, that feeling when someone is passive-aggressively referring to you in a complaint or something?

It felt like that, only it felt like that message was something I was meant to hear, and boy I couldn’t believe it—neither did my mother [lol]. She told me how shocked she was when I listened throughout the what, an hour and a half of preaching that I usually just dismiss.

It’s cliche, but my life really changed after that one simple Sunday.

All my tweeeeenty years of living, I’ve asked if God really is real and whatnot and I never got answered until July of 2023. What really cemented my belief in knowing that he is real, is when I decided to genuinely pray—then for seven consecutive days, the Bible would lead me to a page [like just randomly opening a part of the book after prayer] that answered my questions and/or convicted me of something. I'd wake up every day and an event would happen that would answer my confusion and I'd sit in the night thinking 'no way that just happened', but it did. Boy, when I tell you I thought I was going crazy.

Not to mention opportunities such as baptism and ministry suddenly popped my way when I only had the idea in my head and I kept it to myself. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence, but when it ‘popped up’ more than thrice in a single week, I knew it wasn’t. Think of it as like, the thing in fanfiction when it seemed like the universe was saying something to you. Yeah, I felt that for myself. Mindblowing.

I could go on and on about the other life-changing things that occurred, but this would be so long LOL.

But I never regret coming to faith and accepting Jesus for real that day, and although life is still dark for me these days, the burden feels light. It’s an amazing feeling. He's really changed everything.

I’m not going to force anyone these beliefs—I knew how it felt to be on the receiving end and it could get very annoying, rather I just spoke on it to say how wonderful it was to know him, and it would be nice to let others know about my side in case they'd also take the faith. Who knows?

Also, I think I understand what those people were saying now. Again, I won’t force anyone—just reminding and asking you to try if you want, because it’s amazing. Bombard me in my inbox if you’re interested, but no pushing here, because I’m a firm believer that things shouldn’t be forced if it’s not the right time yet.

Anyway, that was my source of strength and hope to go through these days—and I believe it’s also the driving force that led me to write this out in.. in Tumblr of all places lol. If someone told me this would happen two years ago I'd laugh in their face 💀

Rather than just getting back into writing and opening my social circle again, there’s that bit in me that wants to say that religious epiphany. That said, I know how diverse everyone is in their beliefs so I’ll say it very tersely that, no, I will not be parading and pushing people to believe this and that—this space is, after all, my space for writing :)

Ah, and nor will I ramble about it like shuck lol, but I will, in private, when prompted.

With that out of the way, back into writing—I was floored when I first opened Tumblr and saw all the notifications and messages about my disappearance and I could’ve cried, really. It touches me poor heart :sob: and I wanted to thank all of you for such caring messages—I wouldn’t be able to reply to all of them [there were many!

Like maybe more than fifteen or twenty, not even counting the direct messages] but know that I’m very- very grateful for every one of you.

I could crawl out of your screen and hug yall but I won’t because I can’t and it’d throw people off KJHFSADKJFHALJSKDFHA

Life is, again, still hard—and navigating it is still difficult, but I’m managing these days. I can no longer return to my usual days of sporadic updates and teasers lol, but I’m happy to say I will still be writing, though it won’t be my entire focus nowadays. When I open writing commissions for genshin and art commissions, it’d get me going, of course.

I have to let go of most of my beloved works because I realized that sticking to them would take up most of my time when I need to be out there upskilling and taking initiative to start earning money to support the bills. I still wanted to write though, and in my downtime I even got to watching One Piece and writing a currently on-hold fanfiction for that in Ao3, but fuuully realized that, no, I’m no longer cut out for really long written stuff unless I commit to writing a long piece that would take weeks for it to be published.

In the end I settled for a single character [wanderer bb] short story that I get into writing without much hassle, and make myself happy, still :) I have ideas for other characters, too, but getting them out to be posted would take longer than usual.

My other AUs, as well, since my focus is just.. God, life, expenses, work, then hobbies. I don’t guarantee finishing them [I think Tyranny? And others, like Smite/Mercy/etc.], but I have in mind to write a summary because I meant it back then when I said the plot was really finished. Sighgisghsighs

Opening art commissions, I’d do that soon—writing, too.

Maybe a kofi account, as well—but I won’t be having any posts I want to be posted to be locked behind some tip or pay. I’m thinking of only adding specials there, specials like, standalone oneshots from an AU, or an nsfw piece. Oh golly, writing that is so beyond me, I think that’s the only reason why if anything is going to be in kofi, it’d probably be the nsfw. I plan to keep this writing blog sfw, still.

But we’ll,,, we’ll see [dying]

So yeah! That’s.. Everything. For the writing thing, I think I’ll technically just be .. here, lol, with a focus on that story with wanderer. Gone are the 7k worded oneshots, now we’re just around 1.5k unless I commit to the creation. The story is so fluffy too [not angst? Surprising]

But again, I will write for others eventually—can’t say when, or how, or who, but I will in time.

I have so many plans in my head about my life, and I’m glad to say going back to Tumblr is a check off the list. I have an original novel in mind, but would you all be interested in such a thing? I don’t honestly know—other than opening commissions, I also plan on a Youtube Channel, but that’s uncertain. A Webtoon for my original plot too is a maybe, buuuut those are just what-ifs. Time will tell!

Those are just my two cents and I don’t regret sharing that—you guys have been with me for so long, even if I don’t really know you all beyond that screen, you all really became a part of my life, too :”))

If you reached the end of this post, wow, I’m touched. I hope you all have a good day–oh wait, what do I say? Ah yes.

I wish you all a good mornight [fhkadjsfhiajhgf].

God bless yall sweet people.

#moonlitrambles #queued #i actually navigated my tags and was gobsmacked.#i thought of a new and more organized blog but i aint got the time for that pls bear with me fhdajskfhas #plus i am so unwilling to leave this behind- i kennat

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 8 months

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I read Clementine Book Two so that you didn't have to: an in-depth review from a fan of the Telltale games.

Rating: 2.5/5

Spoiler free review: While better than Book One, it’s still not great.

“When is it safe to fall in love? After another brush with death, Clementine and her new friends are rescued by an island community led by an enigmatic doctor named Miss Morro. But, just as Clementine’s scars are finally beginning to heal, the safety of the island is called into question and Olivia reveals a shocking secret. With her world falling apart, Clementine must choose—keep running… or dig in and fight?”

Some things are improved with Book Two, and some things are worse.

The art style looks nicer, particularly with the establishing shots and environments. It’s cleaner without losing the grunge that comes with a post-apocalypse. The characters look better, even though they still sometimes have potato heads. Once again I wish this was done in color because I know how great Tillie Walden is with her coloring, but this is the walking dead and color would be too hopeful, I guess.

The pacing is better, but still not good. I had an issue with pacing in Book One where it dragged, then it gave me whiplash in the last few chapters. It was all over the place. This feels smoother, yet it’s the same issue as before: chapter seven feels like whiplash as everything spirals, then we go into a slower ending.

The dialogue is still awkward in a lot of areas; sometimes it tries to be whimsical, which is something prominent in Tillie Walden’s other works where it lands, but here in this setting it feels cheesy and unnatural.

There are a lot of flaws with Clementine’s writing, though, but that’s a given when you’ve played the games. If you haven’t and you don’t have context for her established character there, then I think this will feel like a natural progression from Book One.

The new cast is likable, but I have a few issues with Miss Morro’s role in the story. Olivia gets some much-needed development, but not all of it necessarily for the best.

The romance between Clementine and Ricca progresses, taking up more of the spotlight than it did in Book One. I went into Book Two with an open mind about clemricca. I can set aside my bias for clouis, I can tuck violentine, gabentine, and any other Clementine ship away to give clemricca a chance to show me it’s a good relationship. Except I don’t think it is. I have a lot of problems with it.

As for the actual plot, I enjoyed the island setting and the community, but it feels like a massively missed opportunity. The ending is… a lot.

My full detailed review is below. I give a quick recap of Book One and spoil everything for Book Two.

A Quick Recap of Book One

You can read my full review of Book One here, but to summarize:

Clementine left Ericson because she was unhappy. She felt like a liability to the group, so she’s traveling on her own when she comes across a group of Amish survivors. While there, a doctor treats her leg and gives her a new prosthetic, as well as some other supplies. Out on the road again, she meets Amos, an Amish boy set out on his Rumspringa to help build houses in the mountain in exchange for a ride in a plane.

Clementine and Amos become buddies by the time they make it to the mountain. There they encounter the twins, Georgia and Olivia, and Ricca, another survivor looking to help with this building project. Clementine decides to stay and help, too, since she’s untrusting of the twins and wants to look after Amos. They build in terrible, snowy conditions. Clementine, Amos, and Ricca form a little friend group all while Amos and Olivia grow close… apparently, it’s barely a thing but it’s important to know.

Clementine and Ricca also grow pretty close. Ricca confides in Clementine that her vision is worsening, and she fears she may not find another pair of glasses that work for her. She has some past trauma with her sight given her brother broke her glasses so that she had no choice but to rely on him, and once she found a new pair, abandoned him to set off on her own.

When Ricca falls into a pit on a trip to get a generator, Clementine reveals that she named her new leg Kenny. Ricca climbs up out of the pit and promises to look for help, but Clementine decides to explore and gets surrounded by walkers. Luckily, she’s saved by a man named Tim, who gets bitten. Tim gives her some encouragement about building a better world, and she leaves before he can turn.

Georgia and Olivia get into a fight, but everything else seems well and good: they got the lift working with the generator, and Olivia tells Clementine that she plans to leave with Amos. But then Georgia pushes Amos off a cliff, and then tries to kill Clementine and Ricca.

From there, everything goes to shit and they manage to overpower Georgia. With her and Amos gone, that leaves Clementine, Ricca, and Olivia as the survivors. They go back to Olivia’s place and it’s revealed that her mom was actually a walker this entire time and building the houses was pretty pointless. Good thing Olivia knows how to fly a plane, though—the three escape via plane. That leads us into Book Two.

The Plot: I'm on an island of grief, surrounded by an ocean of disappointment

Before I dive into individual characters, the romance, and other thoughts, I want to go over everything that actually happens in this book.

We pick up only weeks after the events of Book One; Clementine, Ricca, Olivia, and their cat, Dr Barnwell, survive crashing the plane they took... somehow. From what I can tell, there were no injuries due to that so props to Olivia for not only knowing how to fly a plane, but crash land it good enough to not die.

They've landed somewhere in Canada, which is where Ricca's originally from. The three girls and their cat are on what looks to be a roof, talking about how they need to get to the coast since Clementine feels they're getting closer to something. Then we get the first inklings of romance in the air with Clementine being a little optimistic, and Olivia telling Ricca it's because of her.

This leads into the section of pages that was teased prior to release. They're going over their multiplications when they see a rabbit. Ricca chases after it because of course you want to send the person with the worst eyesight to catch dinner, but I suppose if she didn't go, then Clementine and Olivia couldn't talk about how not okay Olivia is.

Which makes sense; her twin sister, Georgia, murdered Amos, her... boyfriend? Honestly I don't know if we can even call him that, the Amos and Olivia "relationship" in Book One was underdeveloped and practically non-existent... yet it has great consequences that we'll get into... oh boy, will we get into it, ugh.

But Olivia's feeling like the screw up of the group; she's worried that she'll ruin Clementine's plans; "I'm bad luck. I'll... just hold you two back." / "Georgia and Amos are dead. I keep waiting for them to be next to me when I wake up, but every morning they're not there. There's no place in the world that will make that feel okay."

Clementine has no time to comfort her as Ricca's lost the rabbit to a herd of walkers that chases them into this little shack. They grab a walker and begin smearing its guts all over themselves.

The manage to escape. It's raining as they try surviving off dandelions and acorns, and they're out of willow bark, which is the stuff Rabby gave Clementine in Book One to help with pain. "Kenny" has felt so uncomfortable since the plane ride, and I've been uncomfortable ever since Clementine decided to name her prosthetic after Kenny, of all people.

But never mind that, it's time for Clementine and Ricca to share a moment in the rain. On top of her leg hurting and Olivia struggling, Ricca's eyesight is getting worse.

And then Olivia gets grabbed by a couple of men. They demand that Clementine and Ricca drop their weapons, and Olivia asks them to not hand over the hatchet since it belonged to Tim... this is the last mention we ever get of Tim.

And they get away from them super easily.

These men never come back and have zero impact on the story.

Our three protagonists take refuge in an abandoned home where we see them bandaging their wounds. And this is where cheesy dialogue that might sound better in another work sounds less great here:

Ricca: Why is every day so hard? Clementine: It won't be like this forever. Ricca: The world might not give us a choice, Clem. Clementine: Then I'll change the world.

...Right. Also, take note that Clementine and Ricca's hands are touching. The build up of the romance isn't terrible, honestly... I just wish the actual couple wasn't Clementine and Ricca, but I'll get more into that later.

They're getting closer to the ocean when they hear other survivors above them... and just like that, Clementine's feverish. She can't get up from the ground, her leg looks terrible, and she starts blacking out. It's jarring how out of nowhere she's suddenly in terrible condition. I think we're to assume that the lack of rest, being stuck in the rain, and being covered in walker guts made her condition decline, but when you realize just how bad it is... it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Ricca and Olivia do their best to carry her. Ricca begins singing a Jewish song about angels, and they make it to the beach. There's a boat in the distance that they have to flag down if there's any hope in Clementine surviving.

This is very dumb on their part. Olivia just runs into the ocean screaming, Ricca goes to help, and they leave Clementine on the beach with the cat... bad idea.

And we get our first dream sequence.

When I said I wanted Amos back, I meant that I wanted a big reveal that he survived the fall and was back for revenge, but nope! In Book One, we had Lee showing up in these bits, but he doesn't make any appearance in this book. Neither does AJ.

My extreme disappointment aside, Ricca and Olivia scream at the boat for help. But the waves are strong, and Clementine ends up swept into the ocean... dreadful sorry, Clementine. Who could've seen this coming?

Don't fear, though, she gets grabbed and pulled into the boat... and we fast forward to a month later. Yes, really.

Clementine wakes up in a new room, a comfortable bed, with a lovely view of the cliffside and ocean. She's been in a coma for a month... a month! Olivia's been feeding her and changing her bedsheets the entire time which... I don't think that's how that works?? You can't just spoon feed someone who is in a coma? You need feeding tubes? Which she wasn't connected to any! And with the way Morro explains her condition later, by all accounts, Clementine should be dead!

But why did she black out and fall into a coma, you ask? Her leg had a massive infection. I guess she wasn't cleaning it properly.

Whatever, Clementine still maintains her protagonist powers, so she's awake and well. Suspension of disbelief, y'know.

They're in this place that isn't actually given a name. It's made up of five little islands that almost connect, but they only use one. They farm, compost, build; every week there's a list of chores that everyone signs up for, they all have their own little houses and areas. They don't have to worry about walkers too much, other than when they wash up on shore from the water. It's a pretty damn nice set up... sure hope nothing bad happens to it.

Olivia's happy to see Clementine when she wakes, but they can't get Kenny back on. Clementine's rolled out of the house in a wheelchair to go to a birthday party. At this party, Clementine and Ricca reunite with a hug, and we're introduced to our new group of eight survivors:

Emi - She picked Clementine, Ricca, and Olivia up in her boat as she's the only one not afraid to go out on the water and fish. John - Morro's son. He does a lot of work on the island, like building walls and taking care of the cow. Amir - A young boy who lost his arm when he was bitten by a dog and his father didn't believe him. Shu-Fen - but they mostly call her Fen. She's quiet and keeps to herself. Ginette and Giles - a old, married couple who only speak French. Mercy - a young girl that Ginette and Giles take care of. Morro - she's not at the party, but at this point we learn she's in charge of things around here. Also, she's a doctor.

It's a lot of characters thrown at you all at once, but they're fairly easy to pick apart and remember. Definitely easier than trying to keep track of Georgia and Olivia in Book One.

So, what's the deal with this birthday party? Not everyone in this group could remember their real birthdays, so they decided to make one new birthday for everyone. There's cake, games, little party hats, all around good time.

But Clementine's not convinced. She's uncomfortable, she's asking a lot of questions, and this is where we start to see some tension between her and Ricca.

Y'see, Ricca really likes this place, and wants to settle here. Remember, while Clementine was in her coma, she and Olivia have lived here; they've already settled in nicely. They live in the house that's on the highest cliff and is deemed quite safe.

But Clementine is naturally suspicious of everything and is looking for something to be wrong, like that there's only one boat- one escape. This is an ongoing thing where Ricca wants to act like everything is fine, everything is safe, this is what they were looking for to begin with... and Clementine doesn't want to ignore any possible red flags; "Everything is fine until it isn't."

Clementine can't sleep and takes her wheel chair outside for some fresh air, and there she meets Miss Anne Morro. It's actually a well done interaction where we see these two poke and prod at each other the way two strong, leader-like personalities would butt heads. It's also just a little... unsettling. Morro's got that vibe, y'know?

We learn that Morro used to be a pathologist who performed autopsies, but she knows enough to help the living. She says she surprised that Clementine survived given she was nearly septic and she didn't have much in meds... if Clementine was nearly septic and in a coma, she should be dead but it's fine. She just really wanted to survive, I guess. That's what Morro believes it was; "You must've really wanted to stick around." / "You held on like some one with unfinished work."

Morro asks Clementine if she's going to stay as a lot of resources went into keeping her alive, and Clementine points out that was Morro's choice; "Don't pin your regrets on me."

Morro tells her that, while trustworthy, Ricca and Olivia are depressed, and insinuates that Clementine probably is, as well.

Morro smirks, and tell Clementine she'll be expected to work, and that work is everything before leaving Clementine to watch the sunrise alone.

We then get another time skip. Amir shows up on his bike to tell the girls that walkers breached the wall at Borgot. The three of them agree to go help, but they've all got issues; Clementine's been off her feet for weeks and Kenny's not fitting right, Ricca's vision isn't great and it being so gray and rainy doesn't help, and Olivia's been throwing up all week. But it's fine.

They get down there and meet up with Fen, who is surprised Clementine's there to help. Clementine snaps at her that she's been dealing with this shit just as long as she has and can handle a few walkers. She's just gotta get her sock that Ginette's knitted for her first. Ginette also gives her a new hat, the one we see her wearing on the cover of this book.

There are a lot of walkers by the time Clementine gets there. Ricca can't see anything, so Clementine tells her to go to safety... and I want you to really keep in mind how much this book tries to hammer in that Ricca can't see, okay?

Once the walkers are dealt with, we learn from Emi that all of the walker bodies are dragged to Morro so she can "deal with them." Emi thinks it's a waste of time given she's the one who provides the food for everyone, I'm sure it's annoying for her to know what Morro does. John and Fen are too busy helping Morro to help gut fish, so Clementine volunteers Olivia to help with that.

Clementine goes to find Ricca in this little shed where she's working on a project. Clementine tries to comfort her, but Ricca says she just needs to wallow for a little bit and clear her head while she works. She won't let Clementine see what she's working on.

Clementine asks Ricca to meet her on the docks at sundown, and I'm forced to roll my eyes because the miscommunication is exactly what you think it is; Ricca assumes this is a date, but really, Clementine wants to check out Morro's place to see what she does with the dead.

We get Amir's backstory behind his amputated arm: He got bit by a dog, but his father thought it was a walker bite and he was too little to stop him. His father drowned right before this boat crashed on the island. He and Clementine has some cute banter about how she grew taller and waited for her stump to grow, too.

Then we get to know Fen a little bit more- She's originally from Taiwan, but her family was on vacation here with the apocalypse hit, and she's been trying to piece together a world map so she can make it back home. Emi's helping her build a boat but she's still unsure. The map's... well, it's inaccurate.

That night, Ricca and Clementine meet up. Ricca's clearly cleaned up for a date and expresses her disappointment when it's an investigation instead... Clementine's oblivious to this. Truthfully, I feel sorry for Ricca here. I mean, it always sucks when you're excited for something, like a date, only to show up and oh... it's not what you wanted.

Emi comes to pick them up in her boat, and Ricca asks Clementine what it's going to take to convince her that they could be okay here.

But here's Clementine's concern- She's liking the island, but not enough to settle yet. Ricca's eyesight is bad, her prosthetic isn't great. Olivia's depressed. What if there's more out there for them, like an eye doctor or schools? Something even safer?

Ricca isn't satisfied with that answer. In fact, she's kind of hurt with the way Clementine said, "I don't want us to miss out, make the wrong choice."

They go to Morro's place, who is annoyed at being interrupted and tells Clementine her suspicion is tiresome. Turns out Morro's just doing autopsies on the dead. Doesn't matter how degraded they are, she examines each one, takes note of defining details, items on their person, etc. They're assigned a number and buried. It's a lot of work that Clementine questions.

Clementine: Why? Why spend all this energy on them? Morro: They are people. They deserve to be remembered. Clementine: They deserve to be thrown back in the sea. Each of these "people" has maimed and killed who knows how many others... Morro: And? Clementine: And!? In case you hadn't noticed, that corpse and ALL the others are the reason our parents are dead and the world is a pile of garbage. Morro: On this young man I found a medical bracelet. He was allergic to penicillin. I also found a ring in his pocket. Older style. Perhaps it belongs to his mother. His first death was a bad one. Burns, from what I can tell. Anywhere else, he'd decompose and disappear. But instead he washed up here. Kind of like you and your friends.

...okay, we're doing this, I guess. I don't think I need to say that TFS did it better with James and his viewpoint on walkers; how it was deep rooted in his trauma from time with the whisperers, and was meant to make the player think about what actually happens when you become a walker... Are you truly gone? or is there still a piece of you inside that walker? And it showed how far James was willing to go for his fucked up vision of "peace," but it made sense with his character.

This is meant to show how Morro is older, doing autopsies used to be her job, and so she has a different view on the dead. Clementine, however, was raised in this world and has no other view outside of "they're monsters."

But here's the deal, I don't believe Morro's intentions are purely about doing what's "right" for these people. It's about ignoring the real problems on the island and trying to make herself feel like a better person... which I don't think she is. I mean, did'ja see that final jab at Clem? Morro's kind of a passive aggressive ass, and believe me, it's going to get worse.

But Emi shoos them out, and they meet up with John, who is also working this late at night. Ricca steps away from the group and asks Clementine what's out there since everything's fuzzy. It's the graves where all the walkers are buried. Ricca admits there's something off about Morro, and that maybe she's missing something about this place. Maybe it's not safe, but she's scared to start over again, scared of waiting for Clementine to figure out what's wrong and they'll have to leave.

Then Clementine tells her they can stay.

...what?

When I say that I think Clementine's a little fickle with Ricca, this is what I mean. She's watching everything on this island like a hawk, looking for something to be wrong, worried that there might be something better out there... and then she does a 180 like "Okay, we can stay. Didn't realize this was wearing on you."

But that stance isn't going to stay the same! She goes back and forth on things, then we get this:

Ricca: You can still surprise me, Clem. Clementine: I'm sorry that it took me a while. That I made you wait. Ricca: Oh, come on. You know I'll wait for you. Clementine: I know you will.

Put a pin in that exchange; it's important and makes me upsetti spagetti.

Speaking of upset, by now we're at Chapter Four... this chapter makes me unhappy for so many reasons.

The group is waiting for dinner, and we see Clementine's learned how to knit. Amir comes in and tells everyone that the boat is at the beach but Emi and Olivia are no where to be found. He looked everywhere for them but it's so foggy that he couldn't find them. Something's wrong, but Morro is weirdly against sending out a search party... and we see the way she treats her son.

Uhm, first of all, rude. Second, it's gonna get worse.

The group goes searching. Clementine and John talk about Morro, and he says that she's only a jerk to him. She wasn't always that way, but after his sister's bite, she changed.

His sister, Sarah, snuck out one night and came back with a tiny bite. This was back when they didn't know what that meant, so Morro bandaged it up and they went to bed... only for her to turn and eat nearly everyone: his dad, his other sister, Fen's parents... but Morro was able to save him and Fen. And even though all of that happened, they still live in the inn because Morro told them they need to face it.

How funny given Morro doesn't want to face certain things later.

Then Clementine guesses why she does autopsies on the walkers: if Morro looks at each one, then she'll never miss another bite.

That makes no sense.

They're already dead. It doesn't matter if they're bitten. Pi and I were talking about this the other night; wouldn't it make more sense for Morro to be obsessed with checking the living for bites? Every night, they're to report to her office so she can examine them for any bite before they're allowed to go? Who gives a shit if a walker has a bite? What's that going to do for you? Everyone else on the island wants to burn the dead and not waste that much time, but Morro just doesn't listen.

Again, this is why I don't believe her intentions with it are pure. Morro made a mistake that wasn't even her fault, and she lost most of her family because of it. That's traumatic, and this is probably her way of working through that, of "atoning," but she's neglecting the living because of it.

Also, she treats her only living son like shit, so honestly? Fuck her. John doesn't deserve it. I'm team John, he's chill.

He then goes on to explain the backlog of walkers behind the graveyard.

...an entire community of walkers backlogged, you say? And Morro keeps putting them off? I'm sure that won't be the downfall of this group, Anne.

John and Clementine eventually find Emi and Olivia in the lighthouse. They go there to chill after fishing, and Olivia's upstairs getting some air. Clementine rushes up there and we get the first big twist. Are you ready? I bet you're not.

Olivia tells Clementine she got bit.

Except she didn't.

Olivia: I got bit. It's over. Clementine: What? You- show me, Olivia! Where? I'll cut it out! Olivia: I don't know what happened! Clementine: Where!? We have to hurry! Olivia: You can't cut it out, it's inside! I'm starting to turn already, I feel it! Clementine: It's... inside? Olivia: Something moved in me, it's the start of it. I'm becoming one of them. You know, I really liked being alive. Clementine: Olivia, show me where it moved. Olivia, clutching her stomach: Here. Clementine, sobbing and hugging Olivia: Okay, okay, don't worry... it's not a bite.

I... have so many feelings about this.

Just in case you don't get it, Olivia's pregnant. With a baby. And she thought it was a bite.

Remember how I said Amos and Olivia's "relationship" was important? Apparently they had sex in Book One and now she's pregnant. With a baby.

But... why?

I will tear into this more in Olivia's section, but know that I am unhappy. And so is Clementine. She goes off by herself, climbs a hill to overlook the backlog of walkers and just starts screaming at them.

....she says as if this is a new concept to her?

And y'know... given she already raised a baby- you remember Alvin Junior, yes? AJ? Yeah, the kid she left at Ericson? That one, she raised him from when he was a baby, so you'd think she'd bring that up in all this anguish.... but she doesn't. Which is bizarre. This paired with the fact that there are no mentions of Lee makes me think we're moving farther and farther away from the games, trying to establish this as its own thing. Which is fine for those who haven't played the games, but it's a glaring issue for those who have.

Anyway... dream sequence. This time Clementine and Ricca are on a boat that has a bed. It's snowing, Ricca tells her to come sleep, but there's a walker in the bed. It's so... honestly, the only way I can describe the imagery is it's so Tillie Walden, and that's a positive thing, that's a compliment.

The next morning, Olivia doesn't want to talk about her pregnancy. She's going down the "la la la I'm not ignoring this except I totally am la la la I'm going fishing" route, and storms out. Clementine tells Ricca about it, we learn Ricca tracks their periods, and Clementine asks if you don't have a period when you're pregnant... I think Kate must've missed that bit of info when she was giving her the talk in ANF.

Clementine mentions she saw a baby born but blocked it out because it was so scary... either she's talking about Christa, or Rebecca. Christa's the only one we know she was there for since for Rebecca's, she could either help Kenny or help the group, but she wasn't actually there for the birthing process... she was likely watching Sarah get eaten alive, assuming she lived that long.

But that's not important because Ricca's upset again.

Ricca: Do you regret all this? Staying? Clementine: No! No. We'd have problems like this anywhere. It's more that... I've been distracted. I know we've been, like, um... and I want to do stuff, but I need to make it safe first. Once everything is safe, then we can, um... Does that...? Ricca: Oh. Clementine: Ric? Ricca: I think Olivia had the right idea. I'm gonna go. Clementine: Ricca, I didn't mean- Ricca: You did mean it. Go fight your battles. They'll keep you company. Clementine: I- [interrupted by Ricca slamming the door]

What the fuck, Ricca?

I'll be honest, the first time I read this, I had to reread it, like, ten times because I didn't understand why Ricca was so pissed. But just wait, we'll get it to. I keep saying that, but I need you to trust me on this.

So Ricca storms out because reasons, and Clementine goes to talk to Morro about the backlog of walkers. Morro doesn't want to deal with the walkers right now, even though she knows they have to be dealt with eventually. She believes there are more important things that need done first; "Summer is precious here. There's grain to harvest, fish to cure, wood to store. If this isn't done, winter will end us. On top of that, we're behind on herb collection. We're behind on the sea walls. We're behind on laundry."

Gee, I bet y'all wouldn't be so behind if you spent less time on autopsies and more time helping out, Anne.

But Clementine's not having any of it, nor should she.

She knows there's no secure way to hold walkers, and can't wrap her head around how adults can read, write, and know so much that she doesn't and yet still not grasp the way this world works now. So, she'll take care of it.

What could possibly go wrong?

Clementine recruits John and Fen to help her build a tunnel with a door that'll let them control how many walks come out, that way they can deal with them slowly but surely. John's pumped about getting to help so that he can show his mom that he's not a screw up. Some time passes, they build the tunnel, and Morro tells Clementine to be careful that she doesn't lose herself in her work.

This book's definitely making Clementine and Morro character foils, which I like.

On the beach, Clementine and Olivia show just how much they know about pregnancy and their bodies... as in very little. Morro told her "some wild stuff" about the cervix and uterus, and then Olivia's like "she kept asking me about my last period, and I was like, um, why?" She doesn't even know why her period is important! This sweet summer child! How did she and Amos even figure out how sex worked!?

It really showcases how young Olivia is, though. Apparently the baby will be here in about four or five months. It's so... casual? I don't think the whole group knows, but Morro and Emi do and no one is like... "hey, there's gonna be a baby, we should probably prepare for that."

I guess we don't have time for that, though, because we have more clemricca drama to deal with.

Deep breath... okay. It's raining. Clementine's in her wheelchair. She goes to the little shed Ricca's used for her secret project. She won't let her in, by the way, even though it's pouring and they're both getting drenched. This is the conversation:

Clementine: I, um... Ricca: What? Clementine: I don't want you to think that anything is more important to me than you. Ricca: That's kind of how you made it sound. Clementine: What I meant to say was that I want this island safe for us. We can't do anything if we're dead. Ricca: What do you mean "do?" Kiss? Date? Talk about how we actually feel? The dead decide when that can happen!? Clementine: ... Ricca: I love you. And I'm pretty sure you love me, too. But you're not making me feel loved. You're making me feel like you just want to protect me or... Clementine: But I do want to protect you. It's all I think about. Every minute of every day. Ricca: I don't need saving, Clem. I need you to love me. And I need it to be always. It can't start and stop. Clementine: ... I... Ricca: Oh my god, maybe this has all been in my head-- Clementine: Ricca-- Ricca: I get it, okay? Clementine: If I let... if I let myself... Ricca: Forget this. Clementine: You said you would wait for me! Ricca: That's not fair. You want me to wait for the impossible!? Clementine: No, I-- Ricca: I'm done, Clem. Clementine: Ricca, don't go in yet, please, we can talk more-- Ricca, going back inside: What else is there to say? [slams door]

I..... hate this.

Again. We will dive into it in the Ricca/clemricca section, just know that I hate this so much... but wait, there's more coming!

So Clementine's left in the rain, crying, and I'm trying to keep my composure over all of this. Then we cut to her sitting on the beach, presumably the next day, where Giles and Ginette find her and Clementine breaks down crying in Ginette's lap.

We've made it to chapter six; they have the walker tunnel built, they're stabbing the walkers through it, and they're taking the bodies to Morro because of course she's still doing her autopsies. Fen tries to talk to Clementine about Ricca but she's not having it.

Morro's grumpy about this whole situation. When John offers to help her, she's just an asshole to him. She's going off about how this and that needs to be done, and Clementine stands up for John.

It doesn't go well.

And Clementine snaps at her with, "Your daughter getting bit really didn't convince you how dangerous walkers are? But I guess you didn't take that situation seriously, either."

Not gonna lie, I applaud Clementine with that one. But Morro's not going to just take that sitting down. She tells everyone to get out, and poor John is gripping his head, wide eyed, crying...

But Morro, suddenly calm, adds, "Oh, Clementine, I'm sorry to hear about the little break-up. My marriage didn't work out. My only regret is not leaving him sooner. I suspect you might be like me. We're just not suited for love. Better to realize that while you're young. Some things about yourself, well... you just can't change."

Ma'am, you are an asshole.

John is literally right that, and you just casually drop that you wish you'd left his father sooner even though he was eaten by walkers, eaten BY YOUR DAUGHTER who turned, and that you're not suited for love like??? Is that why you treat your son like shit??

Oh, but you're suuuuuuuch a good person for doing these autopsies and burying the dead, right?

Also, this is the second time someone's questioned Clementine's ability to love in this series. The first was Georgia before she was killed: "You've never loved anyone, Clementine, I can see it. You have no idea... how far I'll go... what I'll do..."

Hey, speaking of Book One- hard cut to a dream sequence with Amos and it makes little sense. Clementine's asking him how he and Olivia made their relationship work, they made it look easy and never seemed scared but like..... what relationship?? I have read Book One 10+ times! The relationship was practically nonexistent! He made a comment about her bright eyes and she invited him behind the curtain with her! Then suddenly she wants to go away with him back to his town!

But in this dream sequence, Clementine asks if she's too broken for this romance with Ricca, asking why she's so scared and shit, and just-

Clementine: Am I too broken for this? Amos: You think Ricca isn't broken, too? The only difference is that she isn't ashamed of her scars. She wants to face her fears with you. Not for you. Clementine: She deserves more... so much more than me. Amos, holding a baby??: She deserves the world. And that's you, Clementine.

I'm at a loss for words, I am so tired...

Ricca and Olivia find Clementine passed out in front of Ricca's shack. Fen told them what Morro said and apparently Ricca threw a plate at her head. Finally, she does something I approve of.

Ricca finally lets them in her shack to see the big project she's been working on- a synagogue; "It's like a church, but for Jews."

It's actually a really nice set up she's made, and it feels like Ricca's the only one who has the baby in mind since she's still trying to figure out a crib. She made groves in the floor so that she can move around even when she can't see. She talks about how this is a place for all of them where they can celebrate holidays, rest, pray, sing', etc. She's hoping to have a bat mitzvah one day, so the girls suggest they have one right now for the three of them.

So they gather together, light a bunch of candles, wrap themselves in blankets and put flowers in their hair. Ricca starts by reciting what she can remember from the Torah, and translates what she can for them; "Some of it is peace and God and stuff, then rest I really don't know. I just know that saying the words makes the ground feel... deeper. And it makes the sky seem so much higher up. I guess what I've learned is that I'm actually really lucky. To be here, right now. To have found you guys, this island. The mountain."

Now this is some development with Ricca I like. We've gotten snippets of Jewish culture with her character throughout these two books but this is the first time we've actually explored it and what it means to her.

Olivia goes next; "'It's not gonna be easy, it's gonna be really hard.' It's from a book we read in Vermont. Oh, and my favorite word from the dictionary. Speckle. It means 'a small part of something.'" She shares that she's thought about how everyone starts out as a baby and someone kept them alive without them even asking, and she's thought about them being super little when they had nothing to worry about... I'm sure this is all coming from the fact that she's soon to have a baby.

Now it's Clementine's turn to talk, and she asks to see what Ricca wrote down. It's a paper of words and phrases, symbols, and such that she could remember, and Clementine focuses on, "May there be abundant peace."

And this makes her realize that she does love Ricca.

....wait, what?

My head hurts. Breathe, CJ, breeeeathe.... It's fine, it's only Clementine apologizing even though she did nothing wrong. It's only us ignoring the fact that Ricca was out here pulling the, "I guess you never really loved me" guilt-trip because Clementine wasn't moving at her pace, it's fiiiiiiiiiine.... I'm not upset, I swear.

So... Clementine and Ricca confess they love each other and are officially girlfriends now, and we get more cheese from Clem; "Making it right between us... it feels like the whole world's been saved."

Oh boy. The girls talk about how they feel more adult after their bat mitzvah.

From here, we get into chapter seven where shit hits the fan. The problem I had with Book One had to do with pacing where it had this slow beginning and middle, and then crazy shit happened all at once toward the end... while the pacing for this book is a little better, this is where we just into that whiplash, "what the fuck, how did this happen??"

The girls fell asleep and now it's night. Everything seems chill as they deal with a stray walker and talk about Morro, and we get this line from Ricca, "Anyone who is mean to Clem is dead to me." which I find hilarious since that's literally the attitude the twdg fandom has. But the irony of that aside, shit's going down because they're surrounded by walkers.

The backlog of walkers got out.

There's hundreds of them.

Dr Barnwell, the cat, is back at the house so Ricca offers to go get him while Clementine and Olivia go to Morro's place where they assume everyone's held up... Remember that- Ricca, the one who can't see in the dark, is the one to go get the cat. They plan to meet at the docks.

Ginette, Giles, and Mercy are dead, being eaten by walkers outside of Morro's place. John's also dead inside, having been bitten. That's FOUR off-screen deaths, and lemme tell you, I'm pissed that John's dead. Morro's just standing there while while Emi watches the door and Fen holds a sobbing Amir.

Morro's still an asshole even when her son's dead, she's like, "My sweet, dumb boy." Lady, you were awful to him this entire book!

It turns out John was so upset last time we saw him that he convinced himself he could take all those walkers on, so he made the tunnel bigger for more to come through. He got overwhelmed and couldn't shut it down, got bit, panicked, and ran to his mother. Then he died on the floor. Just like that.

I..... am so upset about John, y'all.

The group plans to take Emi's boat and get outta there, but guess what? Morro's not going; "I'm not leaving my son."

She knows he's going to turn and doesn't care, AND this action of hers indirectly gets Amir killed. I'm serious. She's staying, so Amir starts throwing a fit that he wants to stay with John, too.

Before they go, Morro tells them to get to PEI, since years ago she traded with an herbalist named Saa who could potentially help them.

They leave, and a crying Morro goes to John while walkers break through the windows. She's dead.

Can't say I feel bad about that one, Anne, got gonna lie...

But then Amir gets killed when he continues to scream about going back to John. He gets away from Emi, goes back to the house and opens the door to find John as a walker. Walker John attacks Amir, killing him.

Characters are just dropping at this point, and we're not done!

Emi's crying out in distress, Clementine has to hold her back, and they all gotta make a run for it. They make it to the docks and Ricca's not there. Clementine refuses to leave her behind, and they get overwhelmed... and Emi saves Olivia, but gets bitten. Emi grabs a bunch of the walkers and drags them all down into the water with her... and she's gone.

I need to stress this... everyone except Fen from this new group is dead now, all killed in a SINGLE CHAPTER. This isn't like S2 where everyone from the cabin group eventually dies; that happened over the course of the season with each death hurting more and more until it all ended with Luke's death on the lake, and by then you're so numbed by the loss... this is just boom boom boom, DEAD.

And guess who shows up. They try to fake us out by making us think Ricca's a walker, but no. She's fine, and she has the cat.

Tell me... how the fuck did Ricca navigate the island in the dark to grab Dr Barnwell and make it to the docks in time when she can't fucking see anything??? HOW??? This book has hammered home that Ricca can't see. She can't see in the dark, she can't see in bad weather, she can barely see in the light! You expect me to believe she did all of this without getting chomped? That she made it back in time? UGH.

John's dead. Emi died to save Olivia. Amir's dead. Giles, Ginette, and little baby Mercy are dead....... but somehow, somewhat, Ricca managed to survive, I'm.......... I'm not saying I want her dead, I'm saying I'm upset laughing right now.

Anyway... that bullshit's over. Chapter eight, three weeks later, they're in this community looking for Saa. Their boat got stolen, they're living off rotten potatoes, and they still haven't found Saa. Clementine and Fen wander around until someone can point them in her direction, and they find Saa and Derrick.

Saa's a woman in a wheelchair, both legs amputated from before the outbreak, and Derrick seems to be her right-hand man.

Saa has Derrick get them a supply bag and lets them on her boat. She's planning to leave town and shows Clementine and Fenn her world map. Remember how Fen was trying to piece together her own map? Yeah, she gets overwhelmed when she realizes just how off her map was. Taiwan's farther than she expected, so she leaves believing she'll never make it home.

By the way, I am happy Fen survived. I think she's a neat character and I'm interested where Book Three takes her character.

Saa's quite likable for a character introduced so late in the book. She talks with Clementine about how amputees existed before the dead rose, and Derrick comes back with a box of supplies. We learn that Saa wants to go to Greenland since she got a letter from a friend who went there, and Clementine's surprised that letters are a thing.

Also, Saa's crew might be dead. She doesn't believe they are, but Derrick does. This gives Clementine a lightbulb moment, and she offers her group to be Saa's new crew.

Saa: Woah, woah, we need five experienced hands, not two kids. Clementine: Olivia is experienced! She knows boats! Saa: Are there five of you? Clementine: Yes! Saa: Are you lying to me? Derrick: Definitely. Clementine: No! No, it's just... Only four of us can help. One isn't born yet. Derrick: Oh my. Saa: No. No.

But don't worry, Clementine sells the group well enough that Saa reluctantly agrees. I guess we're going to Greenland in Book Three.

They camp, and in the morning Clementine drags Ricca and Olivia to this person who takes polaroid photos... because there'ssomeone who just does that, I guess. Then they head to the boat. They set sail, it's a grand ol' time.

Then Clementine and Ricca have their first kiss.. and we head into chapter nine.

I think everyone's heard of chapter nine by now, but whether you've heard of it accurately is another story. Do you know how many comments I've read on reddit about this chapter that are just... false?? Spreading misinformation?? It's ridiculous.

Clementine and Ricca have sex this chapter, but there's no sex scene. It doesn't even show any kissing. It's literally a fade to black. It's not explicit, and no, reddit, it's not like 50 Shades of Grey, you dumbasses.

They're laying together in what I assume is their room on the ship, talking about scars, and this is how conversation progresses:

Clementine: Back in Vermont when we’d bump into each other in that tiny cabin… my whole face would feel hot. Ricca: I remember. You were hard to reach, then. Clementine: I remember. Ricca? Ricca: Hmm? Clementine: Have you had sex before? Ricca: Yeah, have you? Clementine: No… I’m still not totally clear on what it is… Ricca: A lot of it is instinctual. Clementine: Bullshit, maybe for you. Ricca: I’m serious! You and the other person respond to each other. Clementine: Stabbing walkers in the head when they’re trying to kill you is instinctual. This… this is… so overwhelming. Ricca: Doing anything for the first time is… Think about the first time you shot a gun, or started a fire. Clementine: I remember my first walker… I was so scared that day. That year. Ricca: You were alone? Clementine: I was. But I’m not now. I don’t have to figure this out myself. You’ll show me everything? Step by step? Ricca: Of course. We can take our time. Clementine: Doesn’t it feel like… like we have to hurry? Do everything we can as soon as we can? Ricca: Why would we need to? I’m not going anywhere. And we are in the middle of the ocean. Clementine: I know, I know, it’s not that, it’s… Whenever I feel happy, when it’s peaceful like this, it always seems to get cut off. I want to make this feeling… this night… last. How do I do that? Ricca: You mean… How do we stop time? Clementine: Yeah. Can you teach me that, too? Ricca: Hmm… Clementine: I’m not asking for much, just for tonight to last a little longer. As soon as the sun comes up, there’ll be so much to do. Ricca: For you, Clementine. I’ll have a word with the sun… and ask for a little more time.

Clementine wakes up the next morning to the sunlight pouring in through the window with tears in her eyes.

The end; to be continued in Book Three.

That's the whole plot. That's everything that happened.

It's a lot. Book Two's longer than Book One, but I found myself enjoying it a little more... but with that comes even more disappointment than before. I can see a good, solid story here but it wasted a lot of opportunities. I hate that it introduced a new cast of characters just so it could kill all but one of them off in a single chapter, that hurt. The romantic subplot is bad because, in my opinion, the couple involved shouldn't be together. There's stuff to like, hence why I've given it a higher rating than Book One, but it's bogged down by some major flaws.

But let's get into the character's now.

Dreadful Sorry, Clementine...

The best way I can describe Clementine is she's incredibly inconsistent with the game's depiction of her, but she's consistent between both books. Ignoring the games, this feels like a natural-ish progression of her character from Book One.

I believe I mentioned this in my review of Book One, and if not there I've said it before, but this Clementine is like if we skipped TFS. Book One felt like we picked up right after ANF, except Clementine decided not to go after AJ and instead went off on her own, that's how angsty she was... even though that doesn't make sense because we know she was at Ericson and AJ was the one to cut off her leg. It's a regression you won't notice if you haven't played the games, but most of us have. That's why people call her Tangerine. We're backtracking to tell the same character arc in a different, less compelling way.

There were more points in this one where I feel the real Clementine peaking through, though, usually when she's sassing Morro. But the rest of the time it's just a shell of who she once was.

I will say that I find the approach to Clementine's knowledge... interesting? She's definitely dumbed down a little, but it feels like a situation where the book needs the reader to know something and uses Clementine to get that information across, resulting in her looking dumb. Remember when she didn't know she needed to wash her leg in Book One and everyone threw a fit? It's like when you're watching a movie and a character pulls the, "As you know," out; if the character already knows, why are you telling them? You're not, really, you're telling the audience. It's the same vibe; we need to know she needs to clean her leg.

But here we get to also look at Clementine's lacking in educational knowledge. I've already read some people being grumpy that she struggles with reading and writing her name, and fair enough... but remember that Clementine's education stopped at first grade. I think these books are trying to tell the story of someone who grew up in this world... as in Clementine's not exactly practicing her reading and writing every day the same way an average student does in the modern world. She's going to struggle. That's something the games just ignore and make her read super well, and they did the same thing with AJ. No five-year-old can read that well, especially if taught by another less educated person, c'mon now.

Also, y'all crack jokes about how Clementine has a first grade education and can't do math and shit but then the comic presents that in a more realistic way than the games and suddenly you have a problem? Mmhmmmm.

I like that Clementine airs that frustration with Morro about how adults know how to read and write and they know all these things she doesn't understand, but she has the knowledge of how to survive in this world better than any adult because she grew up in it and has little knowledge prior to this life.

She's also paranoid for a lot of the time on the island, which makes sense. She's witnessed enough community failures to be wary of things seeming too good to be true. Plus, she was in a coma. She has every right to wake up unsure about everything, and it's annoying that Ricca and Olivia never stop to consider that they've had a month to settle in and get comfortable, Clementine hasn't. She's trying to catch up. Ricca especially gets annoyed that she won't just hurry and feel safe already and that's a whole can of worms I'll get to.

This book hones in on Clementine becoming an adult after growing up in this world...whatever that means. By now I think we're to assume she's 18, and it gives us two growth scenarios where Clementine has a birthday and a bat mitzvah, which I think is supposed to show a "new chapter" in her life, so to speak.

This book also tackles her falling in love like it's the first time... which I guess means we're dealing with a single Clementine from TFS. I mean, if we have to do this, I'd prefer that. So y'know... anyone acting like this series made Clementine a "cheater," that's inaccurate and you know it, you're just trying to make everything worse than it really is.

I just wish Clementine fell for someone who didn't twist things to be her fault or guilt her into moving at a pace she clearly wasn't comfortable with. Then the book acts like Clementine had to have an epiphany that she does really love Ricca as if that's growth like.... stop. Stop trying to tell Clementine she's incapable of love as if romantic love is the only valid love that everyone has to learn to have. Clementine did love. She loved Ricca and Olivia as friends in this shitty world; she loved Dr Barnwell; she loved Amos enough to dream about him in order to seek his comfort, like... this Clementine is capable of love.

She apparently didn't love anyone at the school enough to stay but ahem not the point-

I can tell that Tillie Walden's not as comfortable writing for a character that's already established versus her original characters. It's so easy for everyone to throw around "this is just fanfiction!" like it's an insult [how ironic given the fandom tends to thrive on fanfiction but sure lets use it as an insult when convenient] but let's be serious about that for a moment.

There's a certain skillset in writing what's considered "good" fanfiction; I believe anyone can write fanfic, but tastes will always be subjective as not everyone will agree what's in character or not, and not everyone finds the same prose enjoyable. There's always room to improve when you're writing fanfiction, but not everyone will like your stuff.

I've read a lot of what I'd consider bad fanfiction in my time; clunky and awkward prose, unnatural dialogue, unappealing storylines and decisions, characters behaving in ways they never would in the source material. We all know how the thought of "They wouldn't say that," can take you right out of the fic you're reading.

When writing, the source material is a helpful tool that I encourage all fanfiction writers to take advantage of. The characters already have an established voice that you have to mimic, mannerisms and facts of their life to consider, and there's a lot of interpretation at play. Based on what you know of them, how would they react in this situation, or that one? If you're familiar enough with the source material and have the dedication, you can create some amazing stories.

I don't think Tillie has the right "toolbox," if you will, for fanfiction. She's skilled in writing her own characters and stories, something that's impressive as not everyone can do that, but she clearly struggles with Clementine. She's played the games [yes, I believe her when she says she played them, keep your snark in your lip] but she hasn't played them the way fans and fanfiction writers have. She's not using the source material the most effective way, and that might be on purpose, honestly. She only uses enough to remind us that this Clementine's originally from the games, but not enough to make her convincing.

All in all, Clementine's the most developed character in these books, obviously, but she's not as great as she could be. She's definitely more tolerable in Book Two than Book One.

Oh, Miss Morro, how you've disappointed me...

I don't like her.

I got beef with Anne.

I so desperately hoped she was conducting science experiments on the walkers. I wanted her to sew body parts onto walkers to see if they functioned; to see her create monstrosities for the sake of science or whatever other bullshit.

But no, she's just an asshole doing autopsies on walkers to make herself feel better while ignoring the big problem that eventually lead to their downfall. She mistreats her son even though he does most of the work around the island.

And she knows there's a lot of work to be done but spends that precious time doing these autopsies despite everyone knowing it's a waste of time... then she has the gall to lecture Clementine about not wasting time. She's passive aggressive, aloof, and just... unpleasant? Even when she's being nice, you get the sense it's fake.

While she's a better "antagonist" [if you can call her that] than Georgia was in Book One, she's just another disappointment. Why not go ham with it? We're on an island that seems too good to be true, you've got this old woman who leads the group but goes off to her little shack at night to work with the dead, you've established there's only one way of escape and that's Emi's boat... make her fucking crazy!

I get we're trying to be deep and psychological with her trauma over losing her family after she disregarded a bite, but it falls flat. You can't just make her an asshole the entire time and then her son dies and she's suddenly like, "ah, my poor, dumb son... I'm gonna stay here and be eaten by walkers now, I don't want to go on."

Imagine this, m'kay? Remember how I said she should be more concerned over checking the living for bites? Say she's obsessed with doing that and everyone sees her point since they don't want a repeat of what happened... then one of them does get bitten, either by a walker or something else, and they gotta deal with it... and then it's revealed that Morro used them in her experiments when Clementine finds them as a walker with parts sewn onto them and shit. Have John be in denial that his mother's doing anything fucked until he has to face it head on! Have everyone turn on Morro! Make her dangerous!

She's not a compelling character, she's just a bitch and I don't like her... and that's the wasted potential of this book right there.

Ricca upsets me

Okay, listen... I don't like Ricca.

I don't think anyone does, but I don't think any of you understand, y'know? She isn't a bad character just because she isn't Louis or Violet, or because you're pissy about the comics existence.

There are layers to why I don't like her. This is a "you don't understand her like I do" situation, except most people use that phrase when they're up their own ass and wholeheartedly believe their interpretation of their favorite is the only correct one, but me? I'm up my own ass about this character I don't even like!

Most of y'all haven't read the comics like I have. That's why you're here. Either you've read through them once or twice, you've only read other peoples reviews and formed your opinions based on them, or you've watched a video of someone reading the comic and they've influenced your judgement.... but me? I've studied these comics! I've read them critically, analytically! I went into this with an open mind about Ricca; I gave her a chance! I gave clemricca a chance! Which is more than I can say for most of you!

And all I've gotten in return is a headache!

Let me get the good out of the way, because there are things about her character that I do like. If you'll recall in Book One, Ricca mentions that she thinks she's the last Sephardic Jew left, and in this book we see her singing Jewish songs, she builds her own synagogue, and we get the big bat mitzvah. I really like that it wasn't just a throwaway detail that Ricca's Jewish, and that we get some exploration into that side of her.

Her worsening eyesight was interesting for me as someone who also has terrible sight and needs glasses to function, but it kind of gets ruined when we've built it up for so long only to toss it out the window in the end. She's supposedly blind at night, yet she made it through a herd of walkers back to their house, grabbed the cat, and made it back to the docks in just in time leave with everyone?

Absolutely not. The only way I could see that working is if she had a way of knowing where she was at all times without her sight, like what she did in her shed with the floor. It's unclear if she's covered herself in walker guts, but that's another way she could've made it without getting bitten... but that still doesn't help that she cannot see and doesn't have a means of seeing without her eyes.

Sorry, this is supposed to be what I liked... I do like the glasses stuff, just not when it's inconsistent. Ricca also has some funny lines here and there, she's definitely a little snarky and sarcastic at times. She's hardworking, and picks up the slack when Olivia's too depressed to do anything, which I appreciate, but... that's it. There isn't a whole lot else I enjoy about this character.

Everything I dislike stems from her relationship with Clementine.

First of all, they have little to no chemistry when it comes to romantic banter. It's bizarre, though, because I believe the trio's friendship more than I believe Clementine and Ricca have some sort of deeper connection. Without Olivia there, it's awkward.

Clementine's focused on the island, determining if it's safe, looking for something to be wrong or dangerous. Ricca wants to turn a blind eye to any potential danger as she wants this island to be their safe place to settle, and gets irritated with Clementine's paranoia.

And just... it pisses me off that Ricca tells Clementine that she'll wait for her. At this point, it's pretty obvious that they have romantic feelings for one another, for some reason. But, Clementine's rather fickle about it due to fear. Ricca telling her that is meant to be this romantic notion that she loves her enough to wait until Clementine's ready for a relationship... except no! When things don't go the way she wants it, Ricca throws it back in Clementine's face and it's so shitty!

Clementine wants to protect her and Ricca acts like that's a bad thing? You don't feel loved because Clementine wants you to be safe? You don't need saving?? Girl, you DO need saving because you can't fucking see! We've spent this entire book establishing that you need help because of it! And then you use that to tell Clementine that you need her to love you always!

Ricca's so awful in this moment. Then she accuses Clementine's feelings of not being real just because she's not responding the way she's "supposed to," and that's cruel.

"I'll wait for you," is a lovely lie, isn't it? Pretty, but hollow. You don't get to say that and then when Clementine calls you out on it, throw a fit that she's in the wrong for making you wait for the impossible, as if you're a victim in all this!

Ricca, Clementine doesn't owe you shit. She doesn't owe you a relationship just because you supposedly love her. Hell, if you did love her, you wouldn't be acting like this! If Clementine isn't ready to kiss, or say she loves you, then she isn't ready and pressuring her is bullshit.

"Oh we should talk about how we actually feeeeel~!" Fuck off, Ricca, she told you why she's scared of having a relationship right now and why she wants to island to be safe.

Can you imagine if Louis and Violet behaved like this? Imagine ep2, Clementine tells them, "Hey, I like you but I want to make the school safe, we need to deal with the raiders first before we focus on us," and they were like, "I'll wait for you, Clem." Only for ep3 to come around and they're like, "That's not fair, you want me to wait for the impossible! I? I'm done, Clementine, your feelings for me weren't real!"

But Louis and Violet never did that because they respected Clementine as a person with autonomy! If she rejected them romantically, neither blew a gasket. Neither accused her of toying with their feelings. The only time something like that comes up is if Clementine romances Violet and then lets her get taken by raiders, but in Violet's defense, I think she has a good enough reason to throw that around, y'know?

Ricca's just being mean. She's intentionally trying to hurt Clementine's feelings because she's sour that the relationship isn't progressing exactly as she wants it and she's tired of waiting.

But the worst part? The book presents this as Ricca being right. At the bat mitzvah, Clementine realizes she loves Ricca and that she was wrong and I'm furious. Not a single mention of Ricca's shitty behavior, no apologies for the guilt-tripping or being vindictive, nothing! Clementine was wrong to prioritize the island's safety over her feelings for Ricca! What a lesson she's learned, folks!

How.... dare you, frankly. I hate it so much. It's acting like it's this deep relationship that's exploring conflicted feelings and handing all these emotions with care but... all I see is Clementine having valid reasons for not wanting a relationship right now and Ricca guilting her until she changes her mind. Clementine shouldn't be the one apologizing here.

I guess we gotta talk about chapter nine now.

I don't want to say all of you have blown it out of proportion, but most of you have. Clementine and Ricca have sex. It's not explicit. Nothing is shown. There isn't even any kissing. There's cheesy dialogue. It's a fade to black. I don't think it could've been done any more tastefully than that.

If it wasn't Clementine involved, not a single one of you would've batted an eye. But because y'all are white knights who put Clementine on a pedestal, her fictional honor is apparently at stake and here we are.

Look, I'm no prude, okay? I read and write Dragon Age fanfiction, and sex can be a big part of those games, for better or worse. I've read my fair share of fics with smut in them, and I'm writing a Dragon Age fic with sexual content in later chapters. I'm not here to clutch any pearls or act like exploring sexual topics is a bad thing, because it's not.

I don't love that this is in a book rated ages 14+. I don't think it was necessary, but I understand why it's here in the context of "Clementine's stepping into adulthood in a world where death forever lurks." I just wish the target audience for these books was older, like... if you're going to include sex and a teen pregnancy, your audience shouldn't be middle grade.

The reason it feels icky to me is I don't like the couple or how they got together. This isn't a good relationship. It's not built on a foundation of trust. The sex is consensual, which is good, but I can't help feeling like Clementine deserved someone who respected her more than Ricca does.

So yeah... Ricca's not a bad character just because she's not Louis or Violet. She bad because she's selfish to her core, but the books portray her as selfless and right.

And to everyone screaming "but Clementine's not 18 yet is she???!?!? UNDER AGE SEX!?!?!?!" I argue that you don't actually give a shit about ages. Y'know why? Because not one of you, not a single goddamn one of you, has had the same energy about Olivia's pregnancy. Amos was 16 when he and Olivia had sex in Book One, and I have feeling she's also around that age.

Y'all really glossed over that, didn't you? So no, you don't care about whether or not a character's old enough for sex. If you did care, you would've been just as alarmed, if not more, about Olivia and Amos... but you're not because you don't care about Olivia, she's not you're precious widdle Clemmy.

Olivia's pregnancy bothers me way more than Clementine and Ricca having consensual sex... which is a great segway into--

Olivia is my new child and that's why I'm mad that she's probably going to die in Book Three

I like Olivia a lot, actually. I'm adopting her. She's my child now, and her baby is my grandchild.

But I'm pretty sure she's going to die. It's predictable, y'know? So predictable that I hope Book Three subverts expectations and this isn't the case, but... my prediction is Olivia will die giving birth to her baby, leaving Clementine and Ricca to raise the baby.

Insert Amos Junior [AJ 2.0] joke here.

Olivia gets some much needed character development in this book. She's showing signs of depression; it's hard to get her to do anything in the beginning and Ricca has to pick up her chores. It's understandable, given her twin sister murdered Amos and then died, too. Her mother's a walker, she's lost everything.

It isn't until she and Emi go fishing together more that she comes out of her shell. I wish we got to see more of her and Emi's friendship, actually. Especially since Emi gave her life and boat to save her. She's kind and naive, a lot like Amos was but in a different way. Olivia's more aware of how shitty the world is than Amos was.

The pregnancy is bullshit. I hate it. Why are we doing this again? And with a teen pregnancy? Why are we bringing in another baby after we jumped through hoops to make Clementine leave the first baby behind? It's not going to end well. Either Olivia's going to die, or that baby is. These comics, and TWD in general, aren't above killing off kids or babies. What are the odds that both Olivia and the baby survive? That would be too happy for our nearing conclusion.

And with how little Olivia knows about sex, periods, and babies, and that Amos came from an Amish community, it's amazing that they even figured out how sex worked to begin with.

Thinking back on it, is THAT why Georgia pushed him off the mountain? Not only did she feel he was trying to take Olivia away, but he slept with her? That actually makes a little more sense! Too bad Georgia never bothered giving us that reason, huh?

It's just... this pregnancy is such a heavy thing for Book Three. Poor Olivia's doomed, and she's the only likable one of the trio.

I don't blame Tillie for this, or for anything else in this comic, since she's not the only one making these books happen. Skybound approved this, her editors approved this, everyone involved thought, "yeah, pregnant Olivia, good idea, that'll bring some tragedy." and I'm just sitting here with my head in my hands like, "noooooooooooooooo...."

These books already took my son away, wasn't that enough?

Speaking of-

Until I see a body, Amos ain't dead in my heart

We have one more book left, just let me hold out hope that Amos survived the fall and will come back as twist antagonist in Book Three, okay? Mark my words, if he comes back, Book Three will get an immediate 5/5 stars, regardless of the other bullshit.

Amos is just a vision in Clementine's dreams this time around. I miss my boy, he didn't deserve this treatment.

And now watch, the book will be cheeky like "You want Amos back? Here's AJ 2.0, that still counts!" Not what I meant!

This review's long, let's lightning round the rest of the characters since I don't have that much to say about them that I haven't already said

--I'm happy Fen survived and look forward to seeing what Book Three does with her, assuming it doesn't just kill her off or some other bullshit.

--I'm pissed John died. If we're going to kill everyone else off anyway, why couldn't Fen AND John survive? He worked his ass off on that island and his mother treated him like shit. To kill him off-screen's bullshit. Would've been way more compelling to have him survive and face the guilt of losing his mother even after the way she treated him.

--Emi's another great character that hurt to see go, but it's fitting that she saved Olivia and gave her the boat before taking the walkers down with her.

--Amir's great. Also pissed he died. Shitty way to go. Did we really need to see walker John eat him?

--Ginette, Giles, and Mercy are just kinda there. They're not too important, but it's still sad to see they got eaten alive by a herd of walkers... especially Mercy.

--I'm actually excited for Saa and Derrick. I hope they play a big role in Book Three and this isn't a Christa and Omid situation; as in they're around for five minutes and then die/separate from the group. They seem really chill and I look forward to hearing more of their backstories.

In conclusion, it's not great but it's better

Even though the clemricca romance legitimately pisses me off, I enjoyed this book more than I thought I would. I definitely had a different attitude going into it versus how I went into Book One which I think helped me have a better time. There are things to like about it if you'll give it a chance, but I understand why people aren't.

It has issues with pacing, character development/progression, and the romance. I hate that everyone but Fen from the new group got killed off. I hate that we have a pregnancy plot now. I'm disappointed with Morro as a character and antagonist.

But the art's improved greatly. Olivia's a better character now. The new cast is quite fun and likable prior to dying. There are themes and elements that are explored and done well.

The hate Tillie gets for these is absurdly gross. They're just comics. No, shut up, they're just comics. The games still exist. Tillie didn't ruin them, and in my opinion, if you truly believe she did ruin the games, that's a you problem. That's you letting these books ruin the games for you. No one's out here making you read them. No one made me read them, I chose to do that just as I chose to see them as not canon. Sending hate and threats to her and Skybound does nothing but prove what a piece of shit you are. By all means, hate the comics all you want, that's your right, but leave real life people out of it.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: Clementine isn't real. I get that she's important to you, but she's a fictional character. She's not going to come to life and reward you for your twentieth comment on Tillie's instagram calling her vile names or threatening to find her for what she did. Clementine isn't going to like your video of you screaming into your mic about what an injustice these comics are, and she's not going to sign your petition to get the comics cancelled.... because she's not real. Go outside. Touch grass. Remember that you're only alive for a short time and try to do something of worth with that knowledge.

We only have one more book in this trilogy left, but do y'all really think it'll end there? Do you think Skybound will give a shit that fans hated the comics and will respectively leave Clementine alone? No, that's not how money's made.

I hope once Tillie's done with this series, she continues to have a great career. It's strange, like... I'm of two minds where I want Book Three to be super good in hopes that fans will just leave her alone... but then there's a little gremlin inside me that also kind of hopes she gets a final fuck you in aimed at the fandom. I'm sorry, the fandom's been embarrassingly terrible to her and they deserve it.

I hope she kills Clementine off... yeah, I said it. She won't because Skybound definitely won't let her, but it would be so good. I say kill Clementine off, turn her into a walker, let her eat AJ 2.0! No happy ending for anyone, just a middle finger!

Literally everyone else would be fuming and frothing at the mouth with shit posts on reddit about how Tillie "rUInEd" TWDG and then killed Clementine off and I would be in my corner just cackling and applauding her.

"How can you say that, CJ?? you fake fan???"

Look, my Clementine's still at Ericson, vibin' with AJ and Louis. Willy made her a new leg, she didn't name it Kenny, she named it Legolas [she still doesn't know who that is even after Aasim and Louis explained Lord of the Rings to her]. She and Violet play competitive cheater's uno every Thursday. She's living her best life.

Comic Clem's another Clementine to me entirely. If she lives, great! If she dies, oh no! Anyway-

To wrap this up... Clementine Book Two has issues, there are missed opportunities, and I think the romance is bad. But there's enough good here that made it enjoyable enough. I don't feel right about giving it a 2/5 stars, but 3/5 feels too high, so 2.5/5 feels right.

I also encourage people to actually read it for themselves. Don't just take my word for it, or reddit's, or whatever. Read it yourself and form your own opinions instead of parroting someone else. It'll make for better discussion rather than a cesspool for hate.

When Book Three comes out, I'll read and review that one, too. As of right now, we haven't heard anything about it, but I'll be sure to keep an ear out and share the news with y'all.

Now I'd like to hear from you; did you read Book Two? What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with any of my takes? Feel free to send in asks or leave comments below.

Thanks for reading! 💚

#Clementine Book Two review #twdg clementine #twdg #twdg aj #twdg louis #twdg violet #long post #clementine book one #clementine book two

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eetherealgoddess · 5 months

Text

ꨄYou Get Meꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Reader Until The Others Turn Yandere Au

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread!

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

Japanese language is red

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There will be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

You Get Me

“Shit, shit, shit!” Y/n paces back and forth in her basement, her hands rubbing her arms viciously as she bites her lip.

“What do I do now?” She hisses, tears of frustration almost falling as she stares at the unconscious men with their arms and legs bound by rope, leaning against the wall. Her hands move to the back of her neck, sweat running down her skin as she hyperventilates. She whines as she crouches and bends over, covering her face before hitting her head as she curses herself.

“Y/n, what the fuck is wrong with you?” She growls. “They’re either gonna kill you or you’re going to jail you dumbass!”

She just couldn’t take it any longer. When she first set eyes on each of them, she couldn’t help but fall in love. She knew, since the beginning as she stalked them and observed everything about them, that they belonged together. So that’s why it really hurt when she got rejected by each of them for not being their type, seemingly the reasons not being physical but more so they thought she was boring, some saying it nicer than others.

She even followed them to their favorite spots a few times to show that she could have a good time as well though none of them seemed to notice her. It became so frustrating. So excruciatingly painful that they just couldn’t see her the way she wanted them to. It was even more terrible when she watched their hookups and the romantic partners they went through, even going as far as vomiting when she saw the sex. It’s as if they were mocking her, shoving it in her face even though she was the one invading their privacy.

“I’m so stupid.” She groans as she sits in a chair at an old desk, her fingers holding her forehead up as she closes her eyes and rubs her temples.

“What the hell is this?” The sound of Mikey’s voice waking up caused her to look up at all of them. She could only stare in awe as they all came to the surface, eyes slowly opening as they took in their surroundings.

“You again.” Sanzu says as they make eye contact.

“U-uh yeah, haha me again. So, I know this is a little unexpected for you guys, and trust me it really wasn’t planned, but…!”

“So, you did this on a whim?” Kazutora questions.

“Not necessarily, but…”

“Someone can’t handle rejection.” Ran eyes her with the same bored expression he used when he rejected her.

“How pathetic.” Rin says with the same expression. Her eyebrows furrowed, everyone looking over when her fist hit the table, dust flying everywhere.

“Shut the fuck…! Okay, look. I know that this is bad, okay. I just… I…”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know what to do, Y/n.” Sanzu rolls his eyes.

“That’s what it looks like. Maybe you should’ve planned better.” Rin replies.

“Come on guys, clearly this is the best she could do.” Kazutora chuckles.

“Can you hurry up so I can get Dorayaki? This is boring.” Mikey huffs.

“Awe. Look, she’s getting embarrassed.” Ran laughs.

She could only look at them with a warm face, tears building up, not just because of their words, but because they think of her as a measly joke. The more they talk, the more she questions her own relation to them. Doubting herself and her feelings as the stupidity lingers, causing her to walk out of the basement to get some fresh air.

“Holy fuck they’re mean.” She sniffs as she wipes her eyes, walking in to the bathroom.

What did you expect? You kidnapped them after they made it clear they don’t fuck with you. Now you’ve made a fool of yourself.

“I knoooow.” She whines, as she stares in the mirror.

“Okay, get it together, Y/n! Let’s just knock them out and then we’ll let them go. This really isn’t you, anyway.” She whispers, lightly smacking her face.

She walks out of the bathroom towards the basement, opening the door and walking down the stairs.

“Okay, guys. I’m gonna let you go but I have to…”

Her eyes widen as the hairs on her body stand up, goosebumps forming as anxiety shoots her, eyeing the empty space with the ropes scattered. Her hands began trembling as she looked around the room. She begins to hyperventilate, standing in the same spot as she continues to stare at the space they used to sit at.

“Boo.” She hears before she could turn to face the culprit, a force on her head causes her to immediately fall into darkness.

Just waking up, she hears a familiar voice say, “You know, I was almost scared you wouldn’t pass the test, Y/n.” When she fully awakens, she pulls at the restraints, cuffs tight around her wrists as they link to chains from a wall that isn’t hers. She glares at her culprits in surprise.

“Wh-what test? Wait! Please don’t kill me, I was gonna let you go!” Honestly, she should want to die. Who gets abducted by the people they abducted in the first place?

She flinches when Kazutora crouches in front of her to pat her head.

“We knew the whole time that we were being watched.” He says before standing back.

“We just wanted to see how far you’d go.” Ran says with an amused smile.

“Pretty bold of you to kidnap us. Even though you had no idea what you were doing.” Rin smirks.

“That’s why we rejected you and let me tell you, you didn’t disappoint. We knew you’d go far but this is even better.” Sanzu says.

She stares at them in bewilderment.

So everything was planned to trigger me? The rejection, the hookups, the dating, the everything? They knew everything.

“S-so you played with me?”

“Well, not yet.” Mikey jokes, causing the rest to laugh. “But yes, we had to see if you were truly on our level.” He says as he crouches in front of her.

“Isn’t that why you feel the connection, Y/n? Because, we’re the same. You’re just as twisted as us.” Sanzu responds.

“No, no, no! I didn’t play with anyone’s feelings! I-I was honest about everything. We’re not the same! Not like I thought.” She says, voice shaky as the realization that she’s been infatuated with psychopaths seeps into her mind.

“Unfortunately, we thought you’d kill those girls, though you never did. That was disappointing so it was exciting when we let you drug and kidnap us.” Kazutora says with a content expression.

“Stop.”

“Or when we fucked them because we knew you were watching.” Rin adds.

“Stop it!” So they were taunting me? When they would look out the window, they knew I was there?! I was right?

“Your attempt was very cute.” Ran chuckles.

“What did you think was going to happen? We deal with this type of shit everyday.” Sanzu says.

“STOP! Just stop fucking talking!”

“What’s with the long face? Are you not happy that we’ve chosen you?” Mikey questions as he tilts his head.

“This… this was not how it was s-supposed to go, just let me go!”

“Oh, so it’s only okay when you make moves, huh? You’re not very fair are you?” Rin taunts.

“Yeah, I thought you loved us unconditionally. What’s with the change of heart?” Kazutora mocks.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. It’s no longer your choice anymore.” Sanzu shrugs.

“You don’t have to do the big boy work anymore so you can relax, Princess.” Ran gives a closed eye smile.

“I… I want to go home! Please just let me go.” She pleads.

“That’s too bad. You’re not going anywhere.” Mikey states. “Sanzu, we’re done here.” After he announces their dismissal to the conversation, everyone steps back as they get comfortable on the scattered couches and chairs as Sanzu walks towards her.

“What’s happening? What are you gonna do?”

He kneels in front of her as he crawls in between her legs.

“I found you first so I get first dibs.”

She gasps as he pulls her bottoms down swiftly.

“W-wait! No, I’m not ready!”

“Relax.” He demands, moving back as he pulls her from her sitting position causing her to lean her back uncomfortably against the wall. She tries to squeeze them shut as she pulls on the restraints. She also tries to ignore the piercing gazes of the others who already have their erections out. In any other event she would’ve been excited if it weren’t for what has happened in the last few hours. His hands hold her thighs up as one of his fingers slither up her pussy through her underwear.

“You’re so wet. Of course you’d be turned on by this.”

“P-please don’t do this! Just give me some time, Sanzu!” He looks up at her mesmerized by how her voice sounded saying his name.

“I always knew that you’d be worth every life we took.” Her eyes widened.

“Your friends were taking up too much of your time and attention.” Mikey says. “That’s supposed to be ours.”

“Especially that clown you called a ‘boy best friend.’ Obviously you liked him, what were you thinking?” Kazutora laughs.

“You did what?! How… How could you do that? What the fuck is wrong with you people?! Let me out of here!”

“How else were you going to notice us?”

She shrieks as Sanzu enters her pussy, gripping her thighs as he thrusts all the way to her cervix. Holding it there as he wipes her tears.

“I only want those tears to be from me.”

He began to thrust as he pulled her against him each time his hips came forward, skin smacking skin as he went balls deep relentlessly. She cries as she couldn’t help the reflexed moans and whimpers falling out of her throat as his head repeatedly hits her g-spot. Her legs tense as the chains connected to her wrists rattle. His hand wraps around her waist as he pulls her closer onto his kneeling lap, fucking into her at a deeper angle as he rests his face on the crook of her neck. His heavy breathing and slight moaning hit her ears and neck causing tingles to run up her spine.

She closes her eyes so she doesn’t have to keep seeing the others who are observing, jerking their own cocks as they glare at her with so much lust that it makes her have goosebumps.

“This feels so fucking good.” He whispers to himself, her pussy clenching as she prevents herself from enabling him by grinding back. She feels sick and disgusted at herself for the pleasure his cock is bringing. Her tears fall heavily as he continues to thrust his cock in and out of her hole, working them up to their release.

Each man, besides Sanzu, sat, stroking their cocks as occasional moans slipped, breathing heavily as they watched their woman getting plummeted by dick, the sounds of her moans and wet pussy turning them on to the highest points as they thrust their hips against their hand. Mikey gets up to unchain her as Sanzu places her on her hands and knees, pushing her upper back lower so her chest meets the floor, everyone getting a side view of him fucking her in doggy style.

She uses her arms to cover her face, her head forced to turn towards the guys by Mikey.

“If you move your head and don’t keep your eyes open, we’ll kill your family one by one.” He walks back to his spot on the couch and continues to fap his cock. She cries even harder at his threat, reminding her of the reason for her friend’s disappearances.

After a few minutes, Sanzu began to feel himself about to cum. She tenses as she looks back, “Wait, I’m not on birth control!”

“We’ll take care of it.” He begins to thrust harder.

“Ah fuck.” He moans as he pushes himself deeper inside, releasing the fluid as she orgasms, feeling the semen filling her being her last straw. The rest of the men shoot ropes of sperm as they give one last thrust. When he pulls out of her, her body falls to the ground as she lays out, exhausted and defeated.

“You’re not done yet, Y/n.”

“You wanted this, so you’re gonna take it all like a big girl, okay?”

#yandere x reader #yandere #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev smut #tokyo rev x reader #sano mikey manjiro #sanzu haruchiyo #ran haitani #rin haitani #ran x reader #rin x reader #sano manjiro x reader #sanzu x reader #haitani brothers #yandere au #yandere reader #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora x reader #yandere tokyo revengers

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daughter-of-melpomene · 4 months

Text

𝗔 𝗪𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗘 𝗕𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗙 𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗦 𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗧 𝗕𝗨𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗘𝗦

Okay, so as I was talking to Evie about the other day, I was going through one of my old notebooks and found a whole extended universe of Descendants OCs I had planned from middle school. I obviously don’t plan on formally introducing or doing anything with all of these OCs, because there is a lot of them, but I still thought it would be fun to share them with you guys! They’re not all in their original versions from my notebook, because a few of them did require a little changing and revamping, but I still hope you guys enjoy these little ideas from twelve-year-old me’s brain.

Soha Pride, daughter of Simba and Nala, Carlos ship. Able to attend Auradon Prep thanks to a spell from Fairy Godmother that allows her entire family to shift between their lion and human forms. Very dedicated to her duties as a princess of Pride Rock, but sometimes feels overshadowed by her older sister Kiara because she’s the oldest and the heir. Doesn’t believe any of the stuff Audrey and Chad say about the VKs and makes it her mission to be friends with them. Formerly a Jay ship. I am going to be introducing her formally in a little bit, so look out for that!

Josie Sparrow, daughter of Jack Sparrow, Evie ship. Auradon kid because it could never be decided whether Jack was a villain or not, and now he sails all around the seas surrounding Auradon and the different kingdoms. Has the ability to visit the Isle in her dreams, and it’s later revealed that that’s because her mother is Calypso. A huge troublemaker and prankster who’s constantly in trouble with Fairy Godmother, and becomes quick besties with Mal because of it when the VKs first come to Auradon.

Jackson Kelly-Jacobs, son of Jack Kelly and David Jacobs, OC ship. Son of Jack and Davey because I am a Javid shipper for life. A dancer and gymnast who’s on the R.O.A.R. team, and used to be friends with Chad before he turned into a bully. Really flirty and charming like his dad Jack, but still a total sweetheart. He and Evie quickly develop a WLW/MLM friendship when the VKs come to Auradon, and he definitely punches Chad during the Family Day thing.

Steven Smee, son of Mr. Smee, OC ship (Jackson’s boyfriend). Comes to Auradon with the VKs even though he’s not friends with them after Ben lets his dad persuade him to invite the child of a sidekick along with the children of villains so the people of Auradon are a bit “more receptive”. A complete shy sweetheart who loves his dad and brothers and misses them terribly when he leaves (because Smee is actually a really good dad) and is the reason the twins get to come to Auradon in the third movie. Kind of sensitive because he got bullied a lot as a kid on the Isle, but still has an inner strength that not a lot of people expect.

Maile Montunui, daughter of Moana, Uma ship. President and pretty much only member of the Auradon Prep Sailing Club, which the Sea Three join after they come to Auradon in the alternate post-second movie story that I had in my head. Incredibly courageous and not afraid to speak her mind, but sometimes gets herself into trouble from being too confident. Frequently curses and insults people in Samoan. Bisexual disaster who falls in love with Uma instantly, even if it takes Uma a while to feel the same about her.

Haven Hearts, daughter of the Queen of Hearts, Harry ship. Member of the VKs who had a sort of Romeo and Juliet romance going on with Harry, but has to break it off when they leave to go to Auradon. She wants desperately to be good and break away from her mother’s reputation, and dedicates herself to being better once the VKs choose good at the coronation, which causes some tension between her and Harry when they meet again in the second movie. In the alternate post-second movie story after the Sea Three come to Auradon, though, they reconcile and get back together. She’s fierce and sarcastic by nature but not mean, and she shares Mal’s love for graffiti.

Cierra Chernabog, daughter of Chernabog, Ben ship. Outcast even on the Isle because her father is a demon, doesn’t come to Auradon until after the second movie because so many people were against bringing Chernabog’s kid to Auradon the first time. Super shy and doesn’t talk a whole lot, but incredibly smart and loving. Has a demon form that she isn’t able to access until leaving the Isle, but it’s big and terrifying and still kind of cool.

Celeste Frollo, daughter of Judge Frollo, Audrey ship. Claudette’s twin sister, very religious and God-fearing due to her father’s teaching, so she has a lot of Catholic guilt over liking girls (picture, like, Carrie White with no telekinesis and if she was a lesbian). Gets to go to Auradon after the second movie, when Audrey’s slowly starting to reform herself and be more accepting of villain kids (we’re pretending the third movie doesn’t happen, I guess), and at the same time my girl slowly starts to overcome her guilt and they fall in love!

And there are even more, but I’m gonna stop there (😅). Hope you guys enjoyed this little look into my crazy little middle schooler brain!!

Tagging some of the Descendants moots: @ginger-grimm, @dancingsunflowers-ocs, @ginevrastilinski-ocs, @auxiliarydetective, and soft tagging @manyfandomocs!!

#randomness #plot bunnies #descendants plot bunnies #descendants oc #descendants ocs #oc: soha pride #oc: josie sparrow #oc: jackson kelly-jacobs #oc: steven smee #oc: maile montunui #oc: haven hearts #oc: cierra chernabog #oc: celeste frollo

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dojunie · 1 year

Text

MISDIAL; LJN [CH3] LIKE A MORNING CALL

[★]; [MISDIAL MASTERLIST] [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

info;

lee jeno x fem!reader

college au

chaptered

slow burn

genre; not-quite-friends to lovers, older brother mark lee, brothers best friend lee jeno, light angst, eventual smut, yn is a menace to society, story/character driven

warnings for this chapter; alcohol mentions

chapter wc: 11.4k (i'm sorry ;-P)/ comment on this post for taglist!

taglist: @hibernatinghamster @jenoxygen @eaglesnotravens @donutswithjaminthemiddle @jvjsssnaa @huangrenhyucks @luvenshiti @shiningdery @jaeminsbebu @aliceinwhateverland @bebsky@gem-gem @jkjkseo @jenosbliss @pewpewpwe00 @ti--red @philanarose @softbbyg0rl @aaasteroidsky @carelessshootanonymous @en-boyz @jlsavyy @roseymerrie @bangchanisemo @skuezk @jaehyuns-adorable-dimples @ourbeautifulaffair@jeonnyread @jvjsssnaa @episkeyjeno @bockhyun @jenojammin @zarastrawberry @peachie-bear @itadaramaterasu @alymii @cuteejeno @episkeyjeno

unable to tag: @nohunlee @ooojisoo @luv4jeno @not-clemb @jydivrs @pinkysinnerbaby @jenojenoyes

[a/n]: i dont even have an explanation for why this took so long besides the fact that work is kicking my ass rn LOL, but i'm so excited about this fic that ive been glued to my laptop every hour that i'm free. enjoy, chapter three, my friends

THE APARTMENTS HOUSED INSIDE OF THE PALISADES TOWER ARE MYTHICAL FOR GOOD REASON, because the penthouse in which Jeon Somi lives is easily something out of a melodrama. Cleancut modern black and gray, polished gold metals, and endlessly high ceilings with windows so large that it was easy to forget there was even glass there at all (which, when you’re so high up, is a pretty freaky feeling).

If this wasn’t your hundredth time being here you’d probably be just as awed as the guys behind you are. Their eyes are wide as they shuffle out of their shoes in the entranceway, faces slack at the absolutely bonkers state of her home— but as it stands, you don’t even bat an eye. You just fling your sneakers in the front closet and slap the living room light switch on, the weight of this disastrous day settling on your shoulders all at once.

“I’m going to go and wash my face,” you announce, forcing a pleasant smile and turning to face the guys in the foyer. “If you have any questions—” Donghyuck nods, already opening his mouth to interrupt you, “— Somi dearest will answer them.”

He pouts. You can feel Jeno’s eyes on you, but you avoid looking in his direction like the plague.

What he must think of you after all this, huh? The second time he’s spoken to you in years and here you are yet again— embarrassed half to death and terribly out of your element, floundering in his presence like you did when you were fifteen and had no concept of confidence or coolness.

You were so sure that the night of the Nabi Bar incident was going to be a one time thing, and yet here you were again. Wasn’t last week supposed to be a once in a lifetime event? Something that you’d think of in a few months and laugh about— reminiscing over that time the guy you’d once been stupidly in love with came running out of the dark to save you, scooping you away from danger and patching your bruises up like some kind of romance novel prince? But now?

Now it was starting to look like nothing about this, nothing about him was shaping up to be temporary.

Things you hadn’t felt in years were starting to pick at your insides. You’d felt it that night when he’d dropped you off and you couldn’t sleep because your mind was racing so much. The cloying scent of his cologne was stuck in your nose and every brush against your bruised knuckles reminded you of how close you’d been in his bathroom, the sickeningly familiar feeling in your chest— Fluttering, fluttering, fluttering— And you’d felt it again in the car just now, an actual swoosh in your gut when you caught how he looked at you after Somi mentioned the Aegon competition.

His gaze was soft.

Knowing, almost, if you wanted to get completely delusional about it. As if he’s always understood something about you that everyone else didn’t.

(…Knowing, like the look he’s giving you right now as you take a step towards the other end of the penthouse and make the mistake of catching his eye. God. There’s no way he doesn’t know you’re just trying to get the hell out of here; It feels like he’s seeing right through you.)

“Right,” you say to no one in particular. “Then I’m off.”

Somi— who’d wound up in the kitchen somehow during all this— whines your name along with something about the jajangmyeon when she sees you leaving, but you don’t even stop in your stride out of the foyer. “Jaemin will help you, Som, he knows how to cook better than I do. You’ll help her won’t you, Na? You wouldn’t leave a tipsy, defenseless maiden alone in a space full of danger and sharp things and fire, right?”

You hear the distant click of the stovetop turning on as you’re walking away, quickly followed by a bunch of clattering, like someone throwing around a few metal pots. You hear no response or movement and flick a warning look over your shoulder.

“I’m not kidding. If you don’t want this place to catch on fire you’d better help her quickly.”

“What?” Jaemin finally splutters, “You’re serious? You’re really going to just leave us alone out here with— Hey, hey, wait! Somi, you don’t need a knife that big to cut up scallions!”

He darts out of your sight. Okay. One out of three, occupied.

You snatch up the television remote from the couch and turn it on, the giant flatscreen instantly lighting up the two remaining guys in the foyer as they stare after you. “You guys are into basketball, right? Knock yourselves out.”

“You’re… Cocomelon-ing us?” asks Donghyuck indignantly. “You think you can just put on ESPN and you’ll be absolved from helping cook? Do you think we’re five years old?!”

“Not five. Maybe like… eleven, or twelve? You strike me as more of a preteen.”

All that follows this is stunned silence. Great. That’s good enough of a reply for you. You toss the remote back onto the couch and continue farther into the rest of the house, face falling into a quiet grimace as you try to figure out just how you’re going to get through this night alone.

You feel it goes without saying that you do not only wash your face. You scrub everything above your neck, wash your hands, clean and cut your nails, pilfer through Somi’s extensive skincare shelf to rub some sort of moisture back into your now dry skin, comb your hair (and comb your eyebrows), worry at a speck of dirt on the shoulder of your top, take your socks off when you realize they’re a bit askew and then put slowly them back on, all in an attempt to drag out the time before you have to go back out there… only to look at your phone when you’re all done and realize only six minutes have passed since you’d first step foot in the bathroom.

With a shameful sigh, you stop pilfering.

What is your actual game plan to get through this night in one piece? Because the awkward way you’ve started this surely isn’t going to cut it, if this sad stint in the bathroom means anything. Could acting normal be your ticket? Everyone else is already pretending that the rest of the night didn’t happen, like this is really just some sleepover— the echo of Donghyuck’s laughter out in the living room proves that he’s at least having a swell time— so why can’t you pretend this is all normal too? You could just act your ass off. (What is it they say? Fake it ‘till you make it?)

Normal, normal, normal. You can do that.

So normal in fact, that when you wander back out into the house, eyes down and lazily picking at your nails (like a normal person would do), you don’t notice right away that you have no audience.

Jeno and Donghyuck aren’t on the couch where you’d left them. A laugh from the other side of the living room drags your eyes over until you’re staring into the kitchen where Donghyuck now is, apparently roped into helping by the looks of it, sleeves of his sweater pulled up his forearms and dutifully scrubbing at a handful of baby carrots in the sink. Slightly surprised, your gaze drifts over to the other movements happening behind him; a bedraggled-looking Jaemin following behind Somi as she wanders around her kitchen with a knife in each hand. His suggestions of safety seem to be going in one of her ears and out the other.

You spot movement on the balcony right as you think to wonder where the last boy has disappeared to.

The glass door leading to the overlook is cracked open an inch. The shadow of one gray flannel is briefly illuminated by the flash of lightning a few miles away, and with it comes the cool scent of rain into the house that you only notice now. The balcony is more like a porch with the size of it, nearly a full wraparound, and the figure blends in so well that it’s no wonder you didn’t see him out there at first. He’s leaning lazily on the railing, safe and dry from the retractable awning Somi always leaves out.

Of course. Figures he’d be out admiring the weather during a thunderstorm advisory warning.

Your stomach swirls a little bit at the sight of him, and you briefly consider leaving him alone and going to, like… help wash carrots or something, but your body knows you better. You’re wandering across the room before you can even think about moving.

“Having fun?”

If Jeno flinches from your intrusion he covers it very well. When he turns halfway to greet you he’s nothing but an easy smile, face just barely illuminated in the warm yellow light from inside. He beckons you outside with a small head nod and you, a little surprised he actually wants company, push the door open a little wider.

“Having fun,” he confirms as you wander up beside him. “You’re back?”

“I suppose so. Why are you out here by yourself?”

“Wasn’t really my choice,” he says, laughing, albeit a little sheepish.

“It wasn’t your choice? To come out here?”

“I offered to help cook, but Jaemin said I’d just take up space since I apparently take fifteen minutes to rinse a single potato. He banned me from touching anything.”

Oh. Is he notoriously slow in the kitchen? The most you’ve ever seen him make is burgers on your parents grill, but that was just flipping them every minute because Jaemin and Mark had done all the preparation. “Does it take you fifteen minutes to rinse a potato?”

“I like to be thorough when I wash produce. They come from the dirt, you know.”

Oops. You hit a nerve. He sounds slightly miffed by the humor in your voice. Maybe your smile is still too obvious, because he squints when he catches the line of your mouth.

“Right,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Forgot you’re the type who eats grapes out of the bag in grocery stores.”

“What— Why did you say it like that? I wipe them off first!”

“Yeah, you wipe them off onto your clothes. Do you know how many different surfaces your shirt will rub up against in a day? At that point aren’t you just swapping germs?”

He’s not wrong, but you’re a little caught off guard by the fact he remembers that so clearly. It seemed like every grocery trip he used to tag along to when your family would go shopping, he would catch you slipping something into your mouth as you pushed the cart— a stray grape or cherry, otherwise small and easily sneakable fruit. He’d always just smile, looking away like he didn’t see anything at all, but you always had a feeling he’d known what you were doing; and this was just confirmation that not only had he seen you, but he’d also permanently catalogued it into his memory. Ugh.

You cross your arms over the railing, turning away with a small huff. “Didn’t know you’d become a cleanfreak while I was gone. Slowpoke.”

The rain continues to pour.

After the grape conversation the silence stretches on for so long that you think that’s going to be it, that you’ll both just stand out here and exist in the chilly air, the wind occasionally whipping a flurry of tiny droplets onto the sleeves of your clothes— but he hums right as you’re about to suggest going back inside.

"Even with the storm, the view up here is insane. I’ve never been this high up without glass in the way. That's Namsan over there, isn't it?"

"Namsan?" you echo, a little annoyed by how quickly your body turns to the sound of his voice, "Uh. Probably… not? Namsan Tower is completely east from here, almost a literal ninety degree angle from this side of the building. You might be seeing something else."

"You didn't even look,” he says. “How can you be so sure?"

"Because it should be impossible to see it from here. This is an inlay. Unless Palisades is skewed like, one degree south, there shouldn't be any way—"

"Okay, wise girl, what's that light I'm seeing over there then? Since you're so smart."

You scowl at him, clicking your tongue at the pleased squint of his eyes, and ignore how he laughs when you all but shove him out of the way to get a better look. You're squished into the very corner of the balcony railing in the attempt to see what damn light he's talking about— forgetting, like you did at his apartment last week, that you’re not close, and that you probably shouldn’t be so comfortable around with him like this— craning your neck almost painfully towards downtown.

"There’s nothing there. Do you not have your contacts in or something?"

"I got Lasik a few years back, so I'd bet money my vision is better than yours. How are you not seeing it?"

Lasik? This is news to you. If you weren't still trying to find this dot he's talking about you'd whip around, staring deep into his pupils like Lasik would have somehow left a mark that confirms what he's saying, a brand of some sort, but you keep your gaze sharp on the horizon of this fabled Namsan.

You do end up speaking out loud though, absentmindedly. "I guess that’s not super surprising.”

"What?"

"It’s not surprising that you got Lasik. You used to talk about it a lot in highschool."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you used to complain about those big goggles they'd make you use during your games. And that putting in contacts every morning was annoying and took forever, but how you hated using glasses too, cause the glass was so thick that they made your eyes look funny."

You’re not paying attention to how odd it might be that you just... remember all that stuff. Especially because he'd never really been talking to you when he said these things. You'd just overheard by chance, during the myriad of times you’d wind up in the same place as him somehow; whether it was the kitchen before school whenever he’d drop by a little too early and your mom forced him to eat breakfast with you and Mark, or when you’d hide on the stairs and eavesdrop on all of your brothers friends when they’d come over after basketball games.

"But I never really got it," you add, "’Cause to me you always looked pretty either way. Glasses and Goggles and whatnot. They were cute.”

You squint at a blinking red speck hovering right on the edge, near the corner of the building.

“Christ, is that seriously it, Lee? That tiny red thing all the way over there? How the hell did you even see that through all these clouds?”

He says nothing. Another few moments go by as you try to confirm if that's really what you're seeing, and you think it is Namsan Tower, there’s even a few more little white lights you hadn’t paid attention to at first because you’d thought they were just very persistent stars. Shit. His vision is better than yours.

What a normal person would do now is turn around and relent— because, you remember belatedly, you’re still attempting to be normal— and tell him you’d miraculously been wrong, maybe rib him a little for his bionic eyes cheating for him, something friendly and nice and casual, but you don’t get the chance.

Why? Because when you turn, there’s less than two feet of space between you both.

As if Jeno had also been trying to look for the tower, he is now crowding you against the corner of the balcony— arm still curled around the railing, but now limp as he stares down at you instead. Which means, since you've turned around, you're practically face to face.

And he looks... surprised.

"What?" you blurt quickly, “What happened?”

He blinks hard and then looks away altogether, back into the black night of rain. His mouth is pursed into a very thin line, like he’s trying not to either laugh or frown.

"You thought I was pretty?" he asks.

Oh? Oh. “What?”

You stare at him for a very long moment, completely not following, and his lip only twitches in response.

Is he… smiling?

And then it hits you like a sack of bricks. You thought I was pretty?

Oh, God. Instantly, your expression sours— you almost want to hit him when you finally realize what that dumb, pleased look on his face is for (although it’s definitely more out of embarrassment at your own slip up because shit, did you really say that? Outloud?)

"You’ve got to be kidding,” you groan. “That’s what you’re looking all shellshocked for? Like that's something you need to hear from me, when you hear it all the time!”

You’d have thought you called him ugly with how Jeno’s smile suddenly vanishes. "All the time?"

Your mouth opens quickly to respond, already indignant, but when you catch the look on his face no sound comes out. His expression has turned into something much more curious than teasing now, eyebrows furrowed as you say nothing— He speaks again before you can figure out how to answer, yet another question, soft enough that it’s nearly lost in the thundering of the rain over the awning.

"And what makes you think that’s something I wouldn’t want to hear from you?"

You hear it loud and clear, yes, but as soon as the words are out of his mouth you’re still positive you’ve misheard him.

Is he insinuating that he would’ve wanted to know you thought he was pretty? No. There’s no way that’s what he said. Are you still drunk? (Or has Lee Jeno’s presence in your life just been so brain-breaking lately that your mind is starting to pull illusions on you? Because why… Why would Lee Jeno ever give a shit what you thought about him?)

"I mean, it's— It’s not like it's a secret that you look like this," you eventually force out, both audibly and visibly flustered, which you hate yourself for. “I thought it was a given, that you know…. You’re obviously…”

“That I’m what?”

Hot, your traitorous brain supplies quickly. Cute? Pretty, attractive, stunning, chiseled from marble and yet soft and warm like watercolor, annoyingly beautiful—

You glance away from him. "You know what.”

You’re embarrassed. Your voice has hardened a little with it, almost petulant, which is immediately annoying for multiple reasons, the biggest being that he’s even able to affect you like this at all after one stupid question. All those guys flirting with you at Wooyoung’s party a few hours ago and you’d brushed it off with ease, but Lee Jeno only looks at you and you can’t even meet his eyes? When did you become so uncool?

After a few awkwardly intense seconds you see him shift like he’s finally going to say something, and it’s merely a gift from the heavens that Jaemin’s voice rings out just then. It careens right through the crack in the balcony door, a sing-songy “Jeeeeno!” that shatters the atmosphere like tempered glass— quickly followed by, "And you too, Rockstar! Food is ready, come and get it before we eat it all! You’ll both catch a cold out there!”, and with the sudden reminder that, oh, yeah, you’re actually not alone in this house, you regain some of your lost composure.

You blast Jeno with a smile wide enough to signal airplanes and take one large step away from him. “Right. Food. Food! You’re hungry, right?”

Needless to say you do not wait for an answer. With haste you maneuver back into the house, quickly finding your way to the coffee table that Jaemin is in the middle of setting with plates and dishes, plastering a (hopefully) convincing look of wonder on your face. Your cheeks are already aching from the pull. How much faking have you had to do today?

“Smells great!” you say saccharinely, “Which one is mine?”

“The one with the extra sauce and chives,” Jaemin replies as you sit down, but peeks over his shoulder in his walk back to the kitchen to fix you with a warning glare. (He remembered that you like extra greens. Nice.) “But don’t you dare start eating before I get back with the sides, I know how you get. Sit and wait.”

“Wait? What do you mean wait? I thought you said it was done—”

“Sit and wait!”

Frowning, you abide by his scolding, still too scattered to argue.

Donghyuck stirs when you plop down beside him. “I helped too,” he says to you proudly. Somi is on his other side, splayed out on the ground swiping away at her phone, one foot crossed lazily over his legs. He doesn’t seem to care (or realize) that they’re there. Huh. You’re pleased that they seem to be getting along well, but they’re both pretty much the most outgoing people you know so it’s not earth-shattering that in the few hours they’ve become acquaintances they’ve also somehow already evolved to getting touchy. Jeno is sitting at the metaphorical head of the coffee table on your left, and Jaemin’s steaming bowl is directly across from yours.

“All I saw you do was wash a baby carrot.”

“All of the baby carrots. And the chives, which was way more difficult to do after Somi already cut them up into microscopic pieces. I boiled the eggs and fried the onions, too. You love eggs, so when you eat them and your face falls off with how good they taste, I’m definitely taking credit for that.”

You and Donghyuck used to argue a lot when you were younger. He was the loudest of your brother's friends and loved to rile you up just as much as you loved to prove him wrong, especially during those rare afternoons spent in his presence when you’d been in too good of a mood to pretend Mark’s commune were the bane of your existence. A handful of times, you spared an hour or two to watch TV with them or steal some of their food. (They always happily offered you some, but it made you feel better about avoiding them when you assumed they were feeding you begrudgingly.)

“I used to love eggs,” you tell Donghyuck snootily, that old squabbling-habit kicking in full force. “Who says I still do?”

“It’s not hard to tell, though,” Jeno pipes up. The last person you’re expecting to speak right now is him and it shows pretty obviously in how your head whips around. “Mark has been buying eggs like crazy because you eat through them so fast, which makes it obvious because Mark hates eggs. Every time I come over there’s a whole new box in the fridge. You’re like Dwane The Rock Johnson. That guy eats a carton of raw eggs a day.”

Silence.

Your mouth opens, then closes. Dwayne the rock…?

“Busted! Looks like you’re not as opaque as you think, Rockstar—”

Perfect. An outlet. You whirl back around and sock Donghyuck in the shoulder the second the last word leaves his lips, and his dumb grin is immediately replaced with a grimace as he squeals and jolts. “Stop calling me that.”

“Right! Right, got it, fuck,” he groans. “Christ, I swear your punches didn’t hurt this bad before! Have you taken up Muay Thai or something recently…?!”

Muay Thai? You look down at your first for some reason like the answer will just be laying there across your skin, but all that happens is you see the faded remnants of the scratches on your knuckles from your unfortunate meeting behind Nabi Bar.

Oh.

…Nabi Bar. Nabi bar. Right. The night of Nabi Bar. Jeno’s quick how-to-punch lesson. Apparently, it’s had some effect.

“I didn’t do anything special. I was just like, sixteen the last time I hit you. A lot can change in four years.”

“Liar!” Somi suddenly blurts from the ground, startling both of you. If she wasn’t so hidden behind Donghyuck you’d instantly reach over to pinch her mouth closed. “She works out now. Got a hell of a kick, too, you should see her on those little sandbag things at the gym. Piss her off a little more an’ she’ll show you, I bet, ‘cause— Oh my god, there was this guy once a few weeks ago who got it good when he—”

“Food first,” a voice exclaims.

Jaemin appears from behind you like a ghost holding a tray of little bowls and plates, and oh, you could kiss him for cutting that conversation short. “You will be free to display whatever sadistic desires you please after we eat, okay? Now. Who wants dumplings?”

Somi senses the food and sits up straight, forgetting momentarily about reminiscing, thank god, and you, already famished and now reeling to change the subject, waste no time picking up your utensils to shovel noodles into your mouth.

Midnight Dinner goes relatively peacefully after this. Jaemin and Hyuck argue about some basketball thing you don’t care to tune into, and later Somi cheerily informs the group that half the people at Wooyoung's party got stuck at the airBnB overnight when the weather advisory warning went out and that it’s chaos over there— people allegedly sleeping on the dancefloor and holing up in pantry closets. Thankfully (because your group chat probably would have been awash with death threats from Ryujin if not), Lia managed to get all of your girlfriends the hell out of there in time, and they were now safe and sound at Lia’s place a few blocks away from the party.

However. When the food is eventually finished and Somi’s mouth is no longer occupied, life becomes difficult once again.

Foolishly, you thought you were in the clear. In your head the night’s end would have come like this: you’d peacefully tidy up the table, using your last bit of hospitality to do the dishes while Somi showed the guests their rooms like the good host she is— and while they were off doing that, you’d sneak into the room you always slept in when you were staying over, jump into the shower for just long enough for everyone else to forget about you and go to bed, proceed to go to bed yourself, and finish this seemingly endless fucking day underneath a fluffy, ten-thousand-count threaded duvet, never (or at least for a few hours before they inevitably showed up at Mark’s apartment tomorrow) to see Donghyuck, Jaemin and Jeno, ever again. It was the perfect plan. Infallible. Who could stop you, right?

Netflix could.

Right as you were about to put your plan into action and suggest cleaning up, Hyuck gasped so loudly at your side that you startled and choked on your own spit.

“Did you guys know that all of the Paranormal Activity movies dropped on Netflix tonight at midnight?” he exclaimed, “Like, all of them?”

And that had been the single nail in your perfect plan’s coffin. Whether he already knew that Somi happened to be a horror movie freak or if his outburst was pure coincidence, it didn’t matter. All it took for your friend to catch her second wind of energy was the mention of this fabled ‘Paranormal Activity’, and you watched your plan drift away into Valhalla as Somi insisted that after everyone clean up, you all finish the sleepover with a movie.

It wasn’t the type of insistence that one could simply deny. Somi brought out the puppy-dog eyes. She used her trump card, and it worked. Donghyuck agreed immediately, the adrenaline junkie he is, and none of the rest of you objected either— even though you could even see it in Jaemin’s face that he wasn’t super enthusiastic about a horror movie right before bed, but what was he going to do? Say no to Somi? Who could charm the rosary off of a priest?

So it was with a heavy heart that you trudged through cleaning up, and trudged into your room to shower, and trudged into your duffel to put the pajamas on that you’d brought along (which, thank god, you’d decided to go with a pair of basketball shorts and an old highschool hoodie this time instead of only the big t-shirts you usually just brought to her house), and finally trudged back outside to throw yourself down onto the couch, exhausted and feeling very unlucky.

But at least you get to close your eyes for a little bit before everyone else comes out, right? Right. You bask in the beautiful, dark, ambient living room for… seven entire seconds before a voice rings out above your head.

“Is her brother a bodybuilder?”

God damn it. You crack your eyes open.

Jeno is standing over you with a small frown on his face as he looks at his hands— or where his hands would be, if the sleeves of Somi’s brother's crewneck weren't completely covering them. He’s upside down when you look at him this way, but you can’t be bothered to roll over, so you just tilt your head up (or down?) until you can see him a little better.

“Her brother is a gym rat, yes. But he’s actually not that big. He’s not that much taller than you, actually.”

“He’s not that much taller than me? How is that possible? I look like a kid in this.”

A kid? This causes you to perk up a little bit. You turn slightly, just enough to get a right-side-up idea of what Jeno is talking about— and immediately have to press your lips into a line to keep from laughing. Or coo-ing. Whichever sound would escape first.

He wasn’t wrong about looking like a kid; the black crewneck almost reaches his thighs it’s so long, hanging loosely over his body like he got tangled in a windsail, the sleeves of which folding easily over his hands in what may be the most effective sweater-paws of all time. The sweatpants he’s got on aren’t helping either since they’re dragging on the floor under his socked feet, Jeno’s legs absolutely undistinguishable from cloth as he stands there and… scowls at you?

“What?” you blurt. But as the word comes out, you know exactly why he’s frowning. You’re smiling. He knows you’re trying not to crack up. Oops.

“I knew you were going to laugh,” he mutters, but he doesn’t sound as salty about it as you’d have thought from his glare. “I look stupid. Somi didn’t have anything else, you know. I asked.”

“Why are you explaining yourself to me?” you snicker, “I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re thinking it.”

Jeno sounded so petulant that you almost felt a little bad for him, but then he folded his arms, adorably haughty, the movement of which making the little sweater-paws comically flop over each other, and the pity is instantaneously obliterated by the intense urge to squish him into a ball and put him in your pocket. Holy shit. Could he get cuter than this? Thankfully, your restraint doesn’t have to last long (you’re pretty sure a vein is about to pop out of your forehead from the sheer force of not trying to cackle) because a sudden booming thud from the guest bedroom hallway snaps both of your attention to the other side of the house.

“No fucking way,” Donghyuck howls. And then all of a sudden he’s here. That’s the thumping— he’s… running? “No way!”

No time to take full note of what he’s wearing (another gigantic hoodie and sweatpants combo) because he’s looking so frantic that his fashion takes the backburner.

“You’re… overreacting,” you hear Jaemin say, following not soon after him, but for some reason not even he sounds sure about his own words. What the hell?

“Why didn’t you tell me— Why— Traitor! Traitor in my own home!”

It’s only when his wide eyes find yours that you realize he’s yelling at you.

“I— I’ve never been to your house,” you attempt quickly, stunned. Unsure, you glance at Jeno, but he seems just as alarmed as you do.

Jaemin grimaces. His steps make no sound because the fabric of his borrowed flannel pajama pants are so long that you actually can't see his feet at all. “Ignore him,” he says. “He… Somi just…”

“I told him who’s clothes he’s wearing,” Somi interrupts casually, coming from the same hallway they’d just come from, most likely her own bathroom. She’s the only one with clothes that fit, obviously; the usual pajama set you’re used to seeing her in, fuzzy and pink, blonde hair tied up into a bun on the very top of her head. It takes you a second to put her words together, the meaning of ‘who’s clothes’, before all of this hubbub makes sense.

“Oh,” you murmur. “Oh. Yeah. Big Jeon. Jeongguk.”

“Jeon Jeongguk!?” Donghyuck wails in exasperation. “Does that make sense?! Grammy award winning soloist Jeon Jeongguk!? Are you crazy! That man is my profile picture on SoundCloud and you didn’t think to tell me that your best friend is his little sister?!”

“I didn’t know you liked him that much,” you hazard lightly, rising to your knees on the couch.

This is a lie. You knew how much Donghyuck idolized Somi’s brother. It was kind of hard not to know when Hyuck had the man’s entire discography memorized. But being that you weren’t really in the business of exposing celebrities (and the fact that never in a million years would you have thought you’d end up in a situation like this) you’d never had the incentive to, you know, tell him.

Which may have been a mistake, because now Donghyuck looks crazed.

He makes a staggered lurch to the couch and you tense, holding your hands out like he might try to tackle you or something, but the fight seems to leave him all at once. He completely bypasses your outstretched arms to flop into the space you’d just occupied on the cushion. The ripple causes you to stumble back into sitting, and you stare down at him. “I’m wearing Jeon Jeongguk’s clothes…”

“Your shoes are in his entryway,” you tell him, just to rub it in. “And you ate his food, and sat on his furniture. You showered with Jeon Jeongguk’s soap. Does that normalize it for you?”

Donghyuck makes a weak sound, like he’s drifting away, all the air being pressed out of a blow-up mattress, and you snicker a little bit. For some reason, you pat his head— it’s instinctual, a soothing gesture you’d express to any friend— but he’s not your friend. And you realize this almost immediately after your hand makes contact with his (surprisingly soft) hair.

So why are you continuing to pat his head?

“Right,” Jaemin says with a sigh, pinching fruitlessly at his nose bridge. “Bomb defused. Or… Bomb exploded, technically. Let’s get this slumber party tied up nicely, yeah?”

You look up, nodding in agreement, and immediately make eye contact with Jeno. It feels like he’d already been looking at you, but he then proceeds to act like he wasn’t when you catch his gaze.

…Okay. Weird. You stop petting Donghyuck’s head. Somi bounds towards the couch, reinvigorated with the mention of the movie, and you try not to side-eye Jeno too much when he plops down onto the couch next to you— at a considerable distance, might you add, like he hadn’t just been on top of you on the balcony an hour ago, but you instantly feel stupid for making that connection and whip your eyes away, once again agitated for some indiscernible reason.

The movie starts normally enough. With an entire couch-full of people and Donghyuck’s warmth at your side, since he’d never really moved from his dent next to you— if anything, sidling up closer once the oh-so-spooky-door-slammings started to happen in the film, because even if he likes to play coy, he’s really a big baby— it was pretty easy to stay grounded and not get too scared by the jumps and bumps on the screen.

Too easy, maybe. Because at one point you swear you were just going to rest your eyes for a little, just take a tiny little break during a slow point in the plot…

And the next time you opened them, everything was dark.

It’s quiet. The TV is off. And you’re… alone? You’re alone.

Groggily, you try to sit up from where you’ve apparently laid down, and your neck aches like you’ve been stuck in this position for hours, but no way it’s been hours, right? You didn’t seriously fall asleep?

However. The more you look around, the more signs point to the fact that, yeah, you totally blitzed it. You fell asleep. During a horror movie, no less. And it seems like everyone else made it through the film, as there’s not a single other person still out here on the couch. (So they couldn’t wake you up when they went to bed? Bastards.)

Once your eyes focus you glare across the house into the kitchen, and spy the time on the oven clock. 5:35AM.

Too early for you to have risen by yourself. You usually won’t wake up even if someone is banging pots and pans together outside of your bedroom door, so what… and why is it so cold in here? Your toes are freezing. The rest of you, not quite as much, because there’s a blanket draped over you that you don’t remember being there when you fell asleep. You sit up all the way, rubbing the crusties from your eyes and looking around again once your eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and find the answer to all of your questions in one look over to the source of the chill.

The balcony door is open again, and somebody is out there. Somebody in a big dark sweater, dwarfing their shape behind the fabric, but you’d recognize that pretty profile pretty much anywhere.

Lee Jeno. Again.

“Why are you awake,” you mutter nasally, throat still not completely woken up. This time he does jump at your intrusion— the big eyes and jolt would be funny if it weren’t so chilly out here. The blanket you wrapped around your head and body is doing well to deter the cold, but your feet and face aren’t happy.

“Did I wake you up?” Jeno asks, turning around fully. The black of his hair is just barely distinguishable from the dark blue of early morning.

You stand stiffly in the doorway again, not as confident to join him by the railing as you’d been last night.

“I don’t know. How long have you been out here?”

“Give or take fifteen minutes.”

You shrug. “Then probably not. Fifteen minutes, though? Out here? You must be trying to get sick for real.”

You’re squinting for no good reason other than the fact that you can’t quite open your eyes all the way yet. “And old people don’t fare well with colds, you know.”

He cracks a smile at this, bigger than you’re expecting for that weak of a joke. Before he can respond though, you surprise yourself by speaking first.

“Do you want to share my blanket?”

A beat of silence. It takes a second for your words to catch up with your obviously quite lagging brain, but when they do, you’re hit with a jolt of surprise that almost wakes you up fully. Shit! Again, saying things before you think— this is what got you in hot water last night!

“Actually— Sorry, you probably want to be alone right? Right, I’ll—”

“I wouldn’t mind sharing,” Jeno interrupts with a small smile, and you freeze. “It’s colder out here than I thought it would be. You might as well watch the sunrise with me, right? You’re already up.”

“Sunrise?”

“Yep. Should pop over the horizon any minute now.”

Oh. Your spine de-rigifies.

That is… actually, a very Jeno thing to do. Waking up at the crack of dawn just to see the sunrise.

Now you feel a little dumb for that not being one of the first things you assumed when you first saw him out here. Another second passes before you build the courage to step out again, right back into the spot you’d been last night— but this time, you shrug the edge of the (thankfully) rather large blanket open, and fling it wantonly over Jeno’s head, unsure how this has become your life. Highschool You would be crying tears of blood. (From envy or pride, you’re not sure.)

“Do it so no air gets in,” you instruct, and he obeys easily.

Soon enough you’re two peas in a blanket pod, only your faces poking out, but you’re… closer than you’d anticipated. Even with the size of the blanket. You can feel the fabric of his sweatpants brushing against your leg. If you look up too fast, you might headbutt him.

“This was a good idea,” Jeno murmurs suddenly, and you actually almost do heatbutt him when you jump at how close his voice is. “I forgot you burn like a furnace. I feel like there’s a space heater in here with me.”

You only nod. Anything more than that feels obscene with how quiet it is.

For a few minutes neither of you say anything, silent while the sky slowly blues, purples, and then turns the slightest shade of pink around the edges, a tiny little ray of sunlight peeking through the streets but not quite reaching through the skyscrapers yet. And this is… fine. Just two people watching the sunrise, alone. Acquaintances. Sharing a blanket to detract from the chill morning wind of September, just like regular people do.

“Do you remember Mark’s twentieth birthday?” Jeno asks, out of nowhere.

“His… twentieth?” you echo. “You mean the one you and him had to spend in the ER, because of that longboard Donghyuck got him?”

“That one was also pretty funny,” Jeno smiles, and you roll your eyes. Boys. Of course he’d think getting a matching broken arm cast with Mark Lee would be funny. “But no, that was eighteen. I’m talking about when you and I accidentally locked ourselves out of your house trying to sneak his cake inside. When we had to wait in your old treehouse for an hour for him to come home, in the dark, in the middle of a monsoon?”

Once he mentions the treehouse, the memory hits you like a punch to the gut.

That birthday. Jeez… yeah, how could you forget that? Jeno might as well have just said, ‘Remember the day you realized you had more than just a crush on me?’

With the caliber of feelings you’d had for him at that point, being stuck in that small space had been the highlight of your whole month, forget the fact that you’d torn a hole in your favorite shirt from clamoring up the wooden ladder and your toes had gotten so wet and pruney in your shoes that they bled. If you’d asked highschool you though, if you’d relive all of that bullshit— sprinting across the backyard while a torrential downpour hailed from the sky, laughing at how his glasses fogged completely over by the time you collapsed into the only marginally more sheltered treehouse, the hour you spent in there pressed against his side while you waited for your brother to get home— Yeah, you’d have done it again.

Splinters in your palms, cobwebs and leaves in your hair, the ruined pair of sneakers, all of it. A hundred times over. Just because you were with him, and that was all that ever mattered back then.

Your stomach twists at the recollection, an unfamiliar feeling stirring somewhere under your skin. God. How lame, huh? You’d really been head over heels.

“That was the first time I realized you doubled as a human fireplace,” Jeno says finally, snapping you out of it, and only then do you understand where this is coming from. “I was soaked to the bone, and yet I felt like I was sweating because I was sitting so close to you.”

“You caught the cold so badly the next day that we all genuinely thought you were going to die,” you remind with a short, weak laugh. “If I was supposed to be keeping you warm, I wasn’t doing a very good job of it.”

He hums softly. “You’re doing a pretty good job right now.”

It’s here where you make the first of many mistakes.

Without thinking, you look up at him. The sun has crested over the horizon now, orange rays of sunlight fully peeking through the buildings, and the glow of it is lighting Jeno up a blurred golden, filtering through his black hair and turning it bronze as he smiles off into the distance. It’s such a pretty picture that your thoughts, admittedly, falter quite hard at the sight— and it doesn’t help that when he senses your eyes on him, he glances down.

And again. You’re huddled up under the same blanket. You are very close. Close enough to feel his arm brushing up against yours, and to see the pools of honey brown in the eyes that had looked like such an intense, endless black last night.

(Maybe you’d reminisced too hard. Maybe the memory of that night in the treehouse pulled some feelings up from the long forgotten pit in your chest, the same place that used to flutter when you’d hear Lee Jeno’s name and pound like crazy in the rare times he’d call yours, the place that you’d thought died when he graduated and was never going to bother you again. The place you thought died. Because after what you say next? The only explanation for it is that your pit of love-struck stupidity is still thriving and fucking well.)

“We had an emergency key taped under the porch swing,” you blurt thoughtlessly.

Jeno blinks a few times in quick succession, like those had been the last words he was expecting you to mutter after staring at him so fiercely. “You… What?”

“A key to the front door. I remembered that it was there about fifteen minutes after we climbed into the treehouse.”

Self-preservation finally shows up to the word-vomit party, belatedly locking the key to your mouth so no other stupid confessions can escape— But it’s too late. Despite the intense confusion on his face, it’s clear that he heard you perfectly. You don’t have to be looking at him to feel how hard he’s thinking either; putting the pieces together, trying to understand what exactly you’re telling him— and after what feels like half an hour, Jeno finally speaks.

“So we could have gone inside before Mark got home?”

You cringe a little bit. “Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me on purpose?”

“...Yes.”

“Well. Okay,” Jeno eventually says, sounding thankfully only slightly bewildered, and not mad like he’d be well within his rights to be. “Can I ask why you’re telling me this now? Guilty conscience?”

“I don’t… know,” you tell him honestly. “Maybe. You reminded me of it when you brought it up and I guess my brain realized I’d never told you about that. I wasn’t really thinking when I mentioned it. It’s— It’s still very early, I’m not functioning all the way yet. Sorry.”

“Sorry for your brain trying to get you in trouble, or sorry for trapping us in the rain for an hour and a half because you were too embarrassed to tell me that you forgot about the spare key?”

This gets you to look up. What?

“Embarrassed?”

“I mean, after we’d already been soaked through, I don’t think I’d want to bring up the spare either. Why else wouldn’t you say anything?”

Jeno is simply smiling at you again, eyes shaped into those little knowing crescents you used to daydream about, but you can’t stop to admire them right now. That’s why he thought you didn’t tell him?

When you analyze the emotions swirling in your chest you realize that you’re oddly… disappointed. Because you were embarrassed? It wasn’t like you didn’t know Jeno was humble (or just dense, as Donghuck would say), but come on. Is that really the first thing his mind would come to for why a girl would willingly stay up in some wet, old, gross treehouse with a guy when she obviously had the means to go back into her own home? Is it so impossible to guess that it was him you were there for?

Why you’re so disgruntled by his response is unclear, and it seems Jeno has caught on to your displeasure.

“Why are you frowning at me like that?”

“Like what?” you reply hastily. “I’m not frowning at you.”

He squints, and you glance away from his suddenly very analytical stare. “...You are, though. You’re frowning at me right now. You said you weren’t frowning at me while you were frowning. Did I miss something?”

Yeah. You missed everything apparently. The last six years, even.

“No.”

“That’s a lie,” he says immediately. You’re so surprised by the certainty in his voice that you almost forget that you’re trying not to look at him. “You’re doing that thing. With your forehead.”

“Excuse me? I’m not doing anything with my—”

Jeno raises one finger to press right between your eyebrows, relaying the tension you’d unknowingly been holding there, and your words pretty much die in your throat alongside the memory of why you’re even pissy in the first place. “This thing,” he says. “When you lie, your eyebrows get all raised and angry looking. You have a pretty bad poker-face, Rockstar.”

“Stop calling me that,” you mutter automatically, but it has no real heat behind it. God damn it. Could you be more lame? Losing your fight and ire just because he put his finger on your forehead? “And stop stabbing me.”

He takes his finger back. “Are you going to tell me why you didn’t say anything about the key?”

“You answered your own question. I was embarrassed.”

“Liar. Your forehead—” You slap a hand over your eyebrows, and Jeno actually laughs. “... actually isn’t doing anything this time, but now because you did that I know you’re lying anyway. Got you.”

Fuck! Ripping your hand away from your skin, you scowl at him, embarrassed that he figured you out so easily. “Why do you even give a shit, Jeno?”

“I mean, I didn’t until your forehead started telling me differently.”

“My forehead is not— I don't—”

Jeno snickers at your indignance, smiling deviously like he’s enjoying teasing you more than he’s letting on, and your stress worsens.

“You’re the one who brought it up, you know—”

“I know,” you bark, “It’s just—”

“Did you think I’d be mad?”

“No! I— God, is it so hard to believe that I did it because I liked you?”

The words are out before you even realize what you’re saying. Or what you’re doing, should you say which is completely destroying six years of secrecy in one fell, sleep deficient, Forehead-Poking-Fueled haze.

You stare at him, breathing a little hard at both the outburst and in shock, and Jeno stares right back, no longer looking quite as amused. There’s such a long beat of silence at first that you, in your stupor, have the gall to wonder if he didn’t hear you— like that would be possible when you’d basically shouted your half-baked confession in his face— but then Jeno shifts, blinking hard, and all of a sudden the silence did not last long enough.

“You liked me?”

God, it sounds even more delusional out loud. Damage control, Gremlin Brain spits, Damage control! Backtrack, now! Your only saving grace, the only reason you’re not currently trying to find a way to throw yourself off of this balcony, is because he doesn’t sound completely disgusted with you. You force the most indifferent mask you can muster onto your face, attempting to blink the panic out of your expression.

“Liked you? So, maybe— Maybe it was a little, small thing. A kiddie crush, really, nothing to be… talked about…”

“Back then?” Jeno clarifies, sounding… Well, you’re not sure how he sounds and that’s so much worse. “You felt that way in the treehouse? When you were a junior?”

“Yes? Yeah, I mean. Yes. It was a little thing. A tiny thing. Listen—”

“But I thought you stopped liking me after Sungchan asked you out?”

Those twelve words are the equivalent of getting splashed in the face with a cup of ice water.

(Jeno frowns, lips thinning as he thinks. “Or was his name Seunghan?”)

For the first time in probably your entire life, you actually ignore what Lee Jeno is saying to you. As he mumbles to himself about the prospective name of this alleged ‘date’, his previous words echo in your head over and over again like someone replaying the same three-second stretch on a vinyl record— And with each iteration, your skin warms another degree. By the time you finally collect yourself enough to speak, paralyzed with shock, your face is burning so warm with something— disbelief, surprise, straight up fear, you’re not sure yet— that you’re positive that steam is curling out of your pores.

But I thought you stopped liking me after Sungchan asked you out?

(“I swear it was something with an S...”)

Jeno is looking elsewhere as he thinks— Until the incredulity in your voice brings his attention back to the present.

“You… knew?”

“Knew?” His lips twitch with a small smile. Seemingly still not grasping the severity of the shitstorm occuring in your mind, Jeno laughs softly, bashful. “About how you felt? Well. Yeah? You've never really been that subtle about… anything, you know.”

You can’t move. It’s actually beginning to get a little unbearable under this blanket with the sun starting to beam down on you and the added heat from your own ebbing horror, but you can’t move.

You’re being hit with every glaringly obvious cue you've probably ever given him, a rolling tape of embarrassing memories. It’s an attempt happening completely in vain, as trying to find the one that tipped him off is impossible; sifting through years worth of moony-eyes you thought were hidden by your undetectable stealth, the times you’d ‘randomly’ maneuver yourself sitting near him when the chance arose, all the times he’s probably caught you just staring and known exactly why while you thought he was none the wiser.

Holy shit. So the last six years of your life, the two years you’d stopped being obsessed with him included, have been a complete and utter show? A clown show, with you as the main act? Horror overtakes you. Fuck, what you’d give to go back a few minutes and stop yourself from even coming out here in the first place, to keep living in ignorance— he’d known. He’d known! Jeno knew about the giant, stupid crush you had on him, which probably meant that every single time you got flustered or clammed up or been weird around him recently he knew why, and…

Wait. You freeze, current freak-out taken over by another thought that bursts into your mind.

I thought you stopped liking me after Sungchan asked you out?

Sungchan? You rack your brain. Sungchan, the classmate you’d become fast friends with during the first semester of junior year, your sky-scraper tall, smartass of a deskmate for the few months before he grew the courage to ask you out. You’d both tried it out for a few days before realizing that maybe the dating life wasn’t the best avenue for your relationship and amicably returned to being friends, still close even when he ended up transferring to another highschool a few cities away over the summer. Even now you still kept in touch, sending the occasional ‘this deer looks like u’ and ‘omg i just found this polaroid in my old notebook, look at how babie u were’ texts to one another, but that had really been it.

You dated Sungchan for about four and a half days in the grand scheme of things. Not nearly long enough to even dent the ocean of unresolved feelings you’d had about Lee Jeno. Those feelings would continue to haunt you until the ripe old age of eighteen, up until when he and your brother graduated— But if Jeno thought that you completely stopped liking him after Sungchan that meant he didn’t have a clue about the years you still idolized him after that, didn’t it?

For a second you almost feel ill.

(Of course, however. Of course, right as your failing mask of indifference hits its weakest point, that’s when your luck would have Jeno belatedly notice that you are not having nearly as good a time reminiscing about this as he is.)

He finally reads the look on your face, the tightness of your lips and the unmistakable mortification, and his eyes widen so quickly with understanding that you would have laughed if you could release your mouth from its grimace.

“There wasn’t anything wrong with that though,” he blurts, backpedaling, “I mean— It was nice to be thought of so highly by someone like you. It was cute.”

Your smile tightens further.

You know he’s trying. Very hard. To rectify what he must see as him unknowingly upsetting you or something. But his words do exactly the opposite, and the second after he calls it that— the nearly five years you’d spent falling over yourself over someone, who you are now being told, has always just thought your feelings were ‘cute’— something splinters a little bitterly in your chest.

Jeno, to his credit, realizes immediately that he’s misspoken.

You can practically see it in his expression, the wince when you take a step back. It causes the blanket to fall away from you completely, now left hanging lopsidedly on Jeno’s shoulders— the movement of which seems to concern him more than you’re expecting.

“Wait,” he says quickly. “That didn’t come out properly. Y/N—”

Nope. No. You take another step back.

Time to go. What a perfect moment this could be to go back inside. Yep! A convincing yawn here, a shiver, a thanks for the sunset-watching-invitation, and then you can abscond back into the house to the comforting loneliness of your bedroom to immediately and until further notice pretend you never came out here and that none of this ever—

“I would’ve taken you seriously,” Jeno finishes in one short breath, like the words are escaping his mouth without the permission of his brain, “If I could’ve. You know that, right?”

Record scratch.

His mouth opens and closes when you freeze, visibly struggling to find the words to explain what he’s just said (or dropped on you, it feels more like), and you just stare at him, uncomprehending.

“No, I… I don’t know? If you could have? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You— You’re my best friend's baby sister,” he grinds out quietly, like it’s somehow supposed to explain everything, but you’re only left more confused. Confused and, suddenly, at the random mention of Mark at a time like this, on edge. “Not to mention you were like, sixteen—”

“I’m only one year under you though,” you interrupt.

“You skipped a grade in elementary school, I’m aware, but that doesn't make you any older. Two years is a big difference.”

“It really isn’t? Especially not when both people involved are adults, and did you forget about Yooa? The girl who confessed to you when you were a senior, that you dated, who was definitely only a few months older than me?”

Jeno’s eyebrows furrow like you’d just asked him if he remembered the eye color of somebody he met when he was five. He frowns like he’s trying to recall exactly who you’re talking about, this girl who’s entire name, history, and zodiac sign you’d had emblazoned into your mind because when she first started dating Jeno you’d cried for an hour straight and then proceeded to cyber-investigate the girl’s twitter to torture yourself a little more.

“So unless four or five months really makes all the difference to you, I’m calling bullshit on the age thing, which now begs the question— what the hell does ‘taking me seriously’ have to do with my brother?”

“It has everything to do with your brother,” Jeno replies eventually, voice taut. “And you and I both know you and Mark don’t always see eye to eye, so I really think it would be best if we just dropped—

“Did he say something to you?” you mutter, accusatory. “About me?”

“He—It’s not that easy, Y/N. Mark wasn’t—”

You scoff, boiling over. “Mark didn’t this, Mark doesn’t that, does being ‘best friends’ also mean that you’re obligated to be his lapdog? What is it with you guys and deferring to his every whim?”

Jeno’s words cut short. You’re pushing it, even for someone as controlled and notoriously difficult-to-rile as Jeno, and the burgeoning tick in his jaw is telling you as much, but you’ve never really been one to heed warnings. And now you’re pissed, so the tense pull between his eyebrows is peas to you. “Or are you going to be a big boy and tell me what he—”

“Mark didn’t tell me anything,” Jeno finally relents, sharper than you’re used to, but you hold your ground when he takes a step forward. “I acted like I didn’t know how you felt on my own, because what else was I supposed to do when Mark only ever spoke about you like you put the stars in the sky? Once I met you he started telling me about your grades. He’d get so excited to tell me how you were doing in dance, or what new music you were blasting in your room, or whatever new achievement you got and thought he didn’t notice, and after a while I found myself thinking about you when I wasn't even with him and that scared the shit out of me. Why? Because he's my best friend. Do you think I didn’t already know exactly how he felt about anyone that even so much as looked at you?”

And so the dam breaks. These are the most words you think he’s ever spoken in one setting and stunned by the intensity in his voice, you can only listen.

“Not to mention that by the time I figured out whatever I was feeling, there were only a few weeks left before I moved to Seoul for university. So I left it alone.”

He blinks, hard. “And eventually you got over me. So it’s—"

“If you say it’s alright, Lee Jeno, I’ll deck you.”

You don’t know where the fury comes from. Maybe it’s not anger at all. Maybe it’s the wave of disappointment, regret, resignation, and sadness from what could have been, all rolled into one. But it comes out as rage, the flare in your eyes and the resentful edge to your words.

“Have you ever wondered why Mark and I don’t see ‘eye to eye’, Jeno?”

His lips part, but no sound comes out. Whether it’s because he knows better than to answer right now or because he genuinely doesn’t know, you’re not aware.

“Because of this,” you mutter, “Because of this. Did you know that there was a point in my childhood where the feeling was mutual? A point where Mark was my favorite person in the entire world? I couldn’t imagine a single day where I’d want to be anywhere but with him. He was my brother, my friend— but then, as most people do, I got older. And when I got older and ceased to be the little thing that followed his every suggestion, when I stopped wanting to do everything the same safe way he did it, he stopped seeing me as that friend and started treating me like something he needed to protect. Instead of being brave, I became reckless. Everything I wanted to do became dangerous. Everyone I hung out with was a bad influence, every place I went was unsafe. He stopped trusting me.”

The laugh between your words is humorless.

“And for years, I thought it was my fault. That I did something to make him lose so much faith in me. Do you know what that feels like?”

The crack in your voice makes Jeno look away sharply. It’s quick, as though the sound had physically grabbed him, and the movement is what snaps you back to the painful present.

You take a step back, hastily blinking the very unwelcome burn from your eyes— It’s 7AM on a Saturday morning and you’re yelling at Lee Jeno on your best friend's balcony. When did your life get to this point?

“For the better part of four years, all I looked for was you. But because I’m your best friend's little sister, even though you knew, you did nothing, right? Because Mark said so?”

Jeno bristles again. “Mark didn’t say—”

“He didn’t have to say it!” you shout. “Mark doesn’t trust me to make my own decisions and somehow that ended up making the only boy I’ve ever loved keep his mouth shut when he could’ve liked me back. Does that make sense?”

Jeno’s eyes fly back to your face. If you thought he’d been surprised when you told him you liked him, then the look on his face right now would be one to snap a picture of. Oops. Guess you weren’t supposed to let that word slip— only four letters and yet such a big, big difference. But it probably doesn’t matter since you’ve already gone and fucked it all up by accidentally confessing.

You gather what little boldness you have left and look him right in the eyes.

"I’m only going to ask you this now,” your voice is wavering, but you ignore it, “Because a younger me used to lose sleep wondering what your answer would be.”

He must know what’s coming. You watch his eyes flash a million things, none of them decipherable.

“Am I only ever going to be Mark's little sister to you? No matter what?"

One beat.

Two beats.

His lips part as though to speak,

Three.

But nothing comes out.

A car honks down on the street below. A strong breeze sends goosebumps rising across your skin. A song goes off somewhere inside the house, a sudden singing twinkle; Jaemin’s alarm. You’re able to recognize it from the dozens of times he’s slept over at Mark’s place. He’d said something last night about having to leave super early, swim team practice or the like; he must’ve left his phone out in the living room somewhere, but the guy has ears like a hawk and has no doubt heard the tune from whatever blanket he’s under. He’ll come out to turn it off any second now, and you don’t want to be out here when he does.

“At least you’re honest,” you tell a very troubled-looking Jeno with a small, plastic smile.

You don’t wait for an answer, and you don’t turn back for the entirety of the walk back inside— and then, once you’re out of eyesight, the glazed over stumble— to your guest room. You slowly take out the extra duvet from the closet, wrap it around yourself like the world's saddest burrito, collapse onto the bed, and try your damndest not to cry.

(Safe to say that after about ten seconds, you lose that fight terribly.)

[♥︎]: and there it is, folks! please leave a like if you enjoyed! it REALLY gives me the motivation to work on this faster! [chapter edited & updated on 12/20/23!]

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