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indestinatus · 4 months

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The silent art of gif making

The gif above has 32 layers plus 6 that aren't shown because this is part of a larger edit. I wanted to share it to give everyone a glimpse of the art of gif making and how long it usually takes for me to make something like this. This one took me about an hour and a half but only because I couldn't get the shade of blue right.

I use Adobe Photoshop 2021 and my computer doesn't have a large memory space (I don't know what to call it) so usually most of psds get deleted because I'm too lazy to get a hard drive. It doesn't really bother me that much because I like the art so when it's done, it's done. Off to somewhere else it goes.

Here are the layers:

Everything is neat and organized in folders because I like it that way. I prefer to edit it in timeline but others edit each frame. There's a layer not shown (Layer 4 is not visible) and it's the vector art. Here it is:

Now it is visible. I don't plan to make this a tutorial, but if you're interested I'd love to share a few tricks about it. I'm pretty new to the colors in gifmaking but the rest is simple to understand. Here, I just want to show how much work it takes to make it.

I opened Group 2 and here's the base gif. I already sharpened and sized it correctly but that's about it. Let's open the base coloring next.

Yay! Now it looks pretty! The edits are in Portuguese but it doesn't matter. There's a silent art of adding layers depending on how you want the gif to look but you get used to it. The order matters and you can add multiple layers of the same thing (for eg. multiple layers of levels or curves or exposure).

This was pretty much my first experiment with coloring so I don't know what I'm doing (this happens a lot with any art form but gifmaking exceeds in DIYing your way to the finished product) but I didn't want to mess up his hair, that's why the blue color is like that. Blue is easy to work with because there's little on the skin (different from red and yellow but that's color theory). I painted the layers like that and put it on screen, now let's correct how the rest looks.

I was stuck trying to get the right teal shade of blue so yes, those are 10 layers of selective color mostly on cyan blue. We fixed his hair (yay!) we could've probably fixed the blue on his neck too but I was lazy. This is close to what I wanted so let's roll with that.

BUT I wanted his freckles to show, so let's edit a little bit more. Now his hair is more vibrant and his skin has red tones, which accentuates the blues and his eyes (exactly what I wanted!). That lost Layer 2 was me trying to fix some shadows in the background but in the end, it didn't make such a difference.

This was part of an edit, so let's add the graphics and also edit them so they're the right shade of blue and the correct size. A few gradient maps and a dozen font tests later, it appears to be done! Here it is:

Please reblog gifsets on tumblr. We gifmakers really enjoy doing what we do (otherwise we wouldn't be here) but it takes so long, you wouldn't imagine. Tumblr is the main website used for gif making and honestly, we have nowhere to go but share our art here. This was only to show how long it takes but if you're new and want to get into the art of gif making, there are a lot of really cool resource blogs in here. And my ask box is always open! Sending gifmakers all my love.

#gif making #gif tutorial #resources #completeresources #y'know what that post yesterday got me into this #i love creativity so i send all my love to gifmakers #this is HARD #my tutorials #tutorials

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juanabaloo · 4 months

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one day i'll learn to make gifs but until then you get this little unhinged BTVS rant (with bonus pieces of other people's gifs).

ep: 3x19 choices - Faith is fully aligned with the Mayor and in her spiral. But she hasn't killed Prof. Lester Wirth yet, that's not until 3x21.

AND THEN THIS!

ep: 6x21 Two to Go - Willow stole magic powers from Rack and is in her spiral. She killed Warren in 6x20 Villains and has JUST killed Rack.

"It's way too late," said casually and cheerfully versus "I promise it's not too late," said with such aching hope. How Faith lashes back at Willow for hurting her. How Willow lashes back at Dawn for (inadvertently) hurting her. More script quotes below the cut if you want this to gnaw on your brain.

ep: 3x19 choices - Faith is fully aligned with the Mayor and in her spiral. But she hasn't killed Prof. Lester Wirth yet, that's not until 3x21.

"Check out the bookworm." "Faith!" [Willow is surprised] "Anyone with brains, anyone who knew what was going to happen to her, would try to claw her way out of this place. But you, you just can't stop Nancy Drewing, can you? Guess now you know too much and that kinda just naturally leads to killing."

"Faith, wait. I want to talk to you." "Oh yeah? Give me the speech again, please. [Faith is sarcastic here.] Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late." "It's way too late. [Willow says this quickly, calmly, cheerfully, casually.] You know, it didn't have to be this way."

[Faith's smile fades, she retracts, very very slightly.]

"But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. [Faith is back to smirking.] I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. [Faith studies Willow here, considering her violent options.] I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste."

[Faith punches Willow in the jaw and she falls to the ground.]

"You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient."

[Faith pulls her knife on Willow. It seems like Faith might actually kill Willow, but The Mayor interrupts.]

COMPARE TO

ep: 6x21 Two to Go - Willow stole magic powers from Rack and is in her spiral. She killed Warren in 6x20 Villains and has JUST killed Rack. "Dawnie, what are you doing here? 'Cause if you're looking for me? Now's not a great time." "You look terrible." "Do I?"

... "I have to go." [Dawn is nervous]

[Dawn moves to the door but Willow appears blocking her way. Dawn cries out, definitely scared.]

"Why? So you can run and tell Buffy?" "Willow … please, just listen to me." "You don't have to talk. Just think real loud. I can hear you."

[Willow advances menacingly.]

"You're freaking me out." "Oh, don't be like that. I'm just a little wired. And I have some things to do. I thought if anybody'd understand - " "I miss Tara, too! But this? [Something plays over Willow's face. I think she pauses for a second, she feels the pain a little more.] What you're doing here? This is not the way to go! You're only going to make things worse! [Willow studies Dawn, considering her options. I think she steels herself for what she plans to do, resigned to it.] But I promise, it's not too late to - "

[Willow proceeds to be very cruel to Dawn. She hurts Dawn with her words, efficiently.]

"You miss her?" "Yes." "Did you cry? [Dawn is shocked.] Of course you did. I get that. I understand the crying, you cry because you're human. But you weren't always." "Yes, I was." "No, please. You're telling me you don't remember? You used to be some … mystic ball of energy. Maybe that's why you're crying all the time, Dawnie. 'Cause you don't belong here."

[Willow continues, taunting Dawn and mocking her, super cruel.]

[Willow backs Dawn into a wall. It seems like Willow might actually kill Dawn, but Buffy interrupts.]

Gifsets of some of this, both by starryeyesxx ep: 3 x 19 choices ep: 6 x 21 two to go

I think S6 Willow is eons scarier than S3 Faith, but Faith could have killed Willow with her knife, maybe. I think Faith is super glad The Mayor interrupted so she doesn't have to decide. Good doggie Faith (affectionate). I think Willow wanted to hurt Dawn, and then as she got going she thought death by Buffy was an OK option, and what better way to ensure death by Buffy than killing Dawn?

Also later in 6x21 Willow says, "I've got big party plans." Just like Faith in 3x10 Amends!

#btvs #parallels #faith lehane #willow rosenberg #ep: 3x19 choices #ep: 6x21 two to go #long post

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scoobydoodean · 4 months

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do you think Dean has survivor's guilt? I'm thinking mostly of 01×12, but I'm also wondering if there's a running theme there that I don't remember

Yes, I do. In fact, I think Dean blaming himself for the outcome of traumatic experiences he couldn't have changed or that aren't his fault is something that happens very frequently, because Dean has a very overactive sense of responsibility—primarily resulting from his parentification (and the people in his life don't always help—sometimes they do, but they also sometimes feed into it).

1.12 "Faith" sets the stage for the entire theme. Dean struggles to deal with Layla not being healed when he is, and how horrible it is that a man died in exchange for his life. At the end of the episode, Dean stops running from the reaper, planning to let it kill him so Layla can be healed, but it doesn't happen because Sam disrupts the ritual before Sue Ann can complete it. (Kya has a great gifset here). What tends to co-occur with Dean struggling with survivor's guilt is the idea that Dean has a job—a responsibility, even—to the rest of the world. This is both why he must survive, and also something that weighs him down with even more guilt in a vicious cycle.

DEAN Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me? ROY Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest. DEAN What did you see in my heart? ROY A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.

I've written about Dean's survivor's guilt in the context of season 2—how 1.12 and John's sacrifice in 2.01 are primary motivations for Dean making the demon deal in 2.22. We get dialogue from Dean in 2.04 actually apologizing to Sam for John's death, because he blames himself even though it wasn't his fault and none of this was his choice.

He also blames himself for Sam's death in 2.22, even though that also isn't his fault. The parentification aspect of all of this is screaming loud in the following dialogue from Dean in 2.22:

You know, when we were little— and you couldn't been more than 5— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job... And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that?

Dean even as a child felt responsible for Sam, and even for John. We see John blame Dean for his own failures as a father in episodes like 1.18 "Something Wicked" and 1.21 "Salvation", and we see the impact of that tendency reflected in how Sam sometimes treats Dean as well. Hell—we have indication that even before Mary died, Dean was "cleaning up [John's] messes" according to Sam (5.16). We see John apologize for Dean having to take care of him in 2.01 instead of the other way around—an acknowledgement that he knows this has been a source of harm to Dean for a long time... but it's too little too late—and ultimately is ruined by John's next actions, leaving Dean seething with resentment toward John for seasons to come even as he grieves and blames himself for John's death.

Dean's guilt for things that aren't his fault is further explored in episodes like 1.18 "Something Wicked", 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" and 7.04 "Defending Your Life", where Dean is confronted by his guilt over Jo's death, and feeling responsible for Sam being a hunter, which is absolute horse shit despite the fandom also trying to insist this is the case frequently (see my tags #sam the hunter for a start). He blames himself for Kevin even getting involved with hunting to begin with. Dean blames himself for the havoc Michael is wreaking (14.03, 14.06, 14.14). Dean also blames himself and feels horrible guilt for torturing souls in hell, despite the fact that this happened under extreme duress and literal decades of torture and psychological conditioning—i.e., Dean had no actual choice—he's just presented with the horror of being made to feel that it was his choice when it was deeply and torturously coerced. The very worst part of Hell for him was that he tortured other souls, and I don't think he ever recovers from the guilt of that. He clams up about it after being called weak and pathetic for being guilty about it and then he never speaks about it ever again.

Dean certainly isn't the only one with these issues. Sam, Dean, and Bobby's survivors guilt is all explored simultaneously in 4.02 "Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester" when people they couldn't save like Meg Masters and Victor are brought back by a curse.

DEAN It's my fault you're dead. I left you [Victor] behind. And the minute I heard about that explosion, I thought, "I should have known." I should have protected you.

This whole episode implicates hunters as a whole with serious survivor's guilt for the people they can't/don't manage to save. Multiple hunters die in the beginning of the episode, killed by the people they're haunted by not saving. This is a natural and understandable result of the work itself. You just barely don't get to someone in time, or you make a choice with an outcome you didn't forsee at the time, or you weren't fast enough or strong enough, or you dodged left when you should have dodged right, or you should have stayed, or you "let" the monster get away and it killed again. You are in a line of work where you are probably always left thinking, "If only I had done [insert hindsight judgement here]". Bobby blames himself for the deaths of two kids in 4.02. He blames himself for his wife Karen's death (3.10). Sam blames himself for Ava (2.11) and they all accept blame for the Devil's Gate even though that wasn't their fault either (and other hunters throw the blame on all of them too) (3.01).

The thing about being a parentified child is that you are, by definition, held responsible for things you are not equipped or qualified to handle—things that are too much for you, that are not actually your responsibility, and that are/were entirely out of your control. Combine growing up being blamed for things you did not actually have the power or authority to make happen or prevent from happening, with the overall tendency within the line of work hunters are in to feel survivor's guilt, and you get Dean. Add in that Dean cares deeply for other people—even strangers—and therefore feels an extra empathy when people are harmed for these things he thinks he could have prevented. You get someone whose moments of suicidal ideation are usually deeply connected to survivor's guilt or guilt more generally.

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pixelatedquarter · 8 months

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Day 33 of Tourdust:

This was perhaps an unexpected entry into this journal, aware of some of our very own tumblrines in the crowd but expecting them to get outnumbered by the Sports People, who were there for the Champion of the Centuries at best.

It wasn't so. The barricade filled like a small venue with emos and other alt people, who brought so much energy that it had Patrick and Pete scrambling, plotting things on the dead mics as we watched in concern for those of us at the frontlines, through our communication with mandie, an old friend of ours.

They didn't quite plan for this, but this didn't mean they planned to keep things to old singles either, after all these years keeping her in the vault, they're standing up for their right to cheat at the stadium's parking lot, presumably with Gritty. And while they did not call this day's tour debut an 8 ball, I Don't Care, we don't care. We're too busy recovering from all the growling.

Our sights have not yet turned to suspecting Patrick of being online, in fact if he was, despite all the flourish and energy of today he would probably have avoided all the gestures that call back to these past couple of days' recurring gifsets. The drummer-to-drummer communication enhanced by mutual sunglasses that lead to a (more restrained) deviltricklike humping of his guitar in front of known soul punk girlie* Andy and the sunglasses getting placed on his shirt, straining that neckline further like a taxi driver sweating an ocean as he was. Perhaps it's best if we say nothing about the re-circulation of the locker room photoshoot this morning.

And so the whispers continued, to dead mics and among us, who became VAR referees in determining if there was contact on today's lean. The verdict, with witness accounts and 3 different angles, is that we'd red card them but we don't want them to be unable to play next show.

Like I said, we were not expecting much today, less so than for the festivals, and yet, even after we got what we thought was the stealth 8 Ball, a question was presented. Not to The Magic 8 Ball, but to this crowd of emos who against all odds were not being pussies and instead being energetic and crowdsurfing like this was a 2004 show:

"We don't always do this, because sometimes when we play these shows the crowd is not here for it, but should we play Saturday?"

In Spite Of It All, unplanned, among whispers to dead mics, fueled by the crowd cheering them on so much, it became a Saturday saturday.

I leave now to tend to the wounded and enjoy of the rare buzz of activity in foblr with a show at this early hour. Perhaps we do have some things in common with the Sports people after all. I wouldn't know, just like Patrick I know nothing about sports.

#the tourdust chronicles

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hacash · 27 days

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Series asks:

• The Terror

• The Musketeers

• the last movie you watched

Marvellously the last film I watched was LOTR, which makes this beautifully easy! Also I want to sue for making me choose just one husband-candidate from the Terror character list, this is nothing but pure biphobia.

The Terror

Character I’d want as a best friend. - Depending on my mood it would either be Bridgens (sweet, gentle, loves books, will clearly be a comforting presence) or Fitzjames (gossipy, kinda bitchy, would enjoy drag brunch and hopefully sharing his fabulous wardrobe with me).

Character I’d want as a parent. – I was going to say MacDonald, as he’s just so nice and dry-witted and shaped like kindness, but honestly one of the fundamental rules of life is that you can't think your parent is hot and Charles Edwards remains an absolute dish, so it's gonna have to be Captain 'Grumpy Pants' Crozier here.

Character I’d want as a sibling. - Irving, my troubled dweeby little baby queer: I have so many queer Christian groups to share with you.

Character I’d want as a significant other. – SOL TOZER. LOOK AT MY TAGS. THIS MUCH IS APPARENT. He's loyal, he's snarky, he's genuinely protective of his men, he's the hottest one of the bunch and clearly takes orders well: which is basically my dream husband. Because I'm greedy I will also dub Fitzjames and Hartnell as very close runners-up: two absolute Good Eggs who also happen to be very pretty.

Character I’d want as a child. – Honest to God, if I could pop baby Thomas Evans into a sling like a baby kangaroo and carry him around all day, I would, with his curls and his pinchable cheeks and his heartbreaking loyalty to his buddies.

Character I’d want as a weird inlaw. – There is only one possible right answer for this, and that answer is Thomas ‘Monsterfucker’ Blanky.

BBC Musketeers

Character I’d want as a best friend. - Porthos, 100% the best musketeers of the bunch.

Character I’d want as a parent. – Obviously Captain Treville; apparently a specific blorbo-type I have is ‘gruff figure of authority who would die for anyone under their command’ and Treville was definitely a foundational blorbo here.

Character I’d want as a sibling. - Sylvie only had a single series and I'm still gutted about it; not only do I think she'd be a great sibling but we could overthrow the government together.

Character I’d want as a significant other. – I didn't spend several years spamming your feeds with reams of d'Artagnan gifsets and meta not to dub him my honorary husband now.

Character I’d want as a child. – Aramis: granted he’s an adult man but I feel like he needs a full-time parent just to tell him what not to put his dick in.

Character I’d want as a weird inlaw. – Can you imagine going to family dinners and having Louis as an in-law? Those meals would be so messy, I would absolutely love that.

LOTR

Character I’d want as a best friend. – I would argue that pretty much the entire point of the trilogy is ‘you will never get a best friend better than Samwise Gamgee’, so obviously my answer’s gotta be Sam. We both like gardening, planting, being snarky little shits and loving Frodo Baggins so we’d probably get on.

Character I’d want as a parent. – Absolutely Theoden: Bernard Hill’s delivery of ‘no parent should ever have to bury their child’ ruined me twenty-two years ago and honestly I’ve never quite recovered. (He makes such a good dad!!)

Character I’d want as a sibling. – Boromir is the archetypal big brother; I would bond with him over adorable hobbits and being aspec so so much.

Character I’d want as a significant other. – My little eleven-year-old self’s crush on both Pippin and Merry was a significantly formative period in my life, so honestly, either of them. They’re both Good Eggs, we can bond over cooking, Pippin can make me laugh lots and Merry can compensate for my utter inability to plan anything ever.

Character I’d want as a child. – Those two adorable baby hobbit kiddos played by Peter Jackson's kids.

Character I’d want as a weird inlaw. – Gandalf is the only weird inlaw.

#the terror #lotr #bbc musketeers #answered ask memes

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bengiyo · 1 year

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The Eighth Sense Eps 1 & 2 Stray Thoughts

I've been so busy this week that I'm only now finally able to sit down and start this show. I've seen some reactions and gifsets, so I'm excited to begin.

Episode 1

The first two minutes are moody intro into in media res start. Okay, I see the indie film vibes folks called out.

What is up with folks going out to drink with old classmates only to be envious and salty? Goddamn.

Ah, nevermind. They're just being boys.

To think we had made so many strides to get folks to stop smoking only to be back here now.

I'm a fan of the bar owner.

I'm absolutely fascinated by the etiquette rules about drinking soju that come up in these shows all the time.

This drunk guy is so obsessed with Jae Won.

The country boy is so valid for not involving himself in a stranger's drama.

He is also valid for following that same guy the next way at school because he couldn't help but be curious about him.

This poor boy. They need to stop giving him a hard time about directions. He is an artist!

I just don't think Jae Won needs to talk to his ex if he didn't want to, and these guys' meddling isn't fun.

There is intense homosexual energy in the space between these two.

The coach is a little too friendly about the cutie pie thing, but I don't mind it.

I'm with Ji Hyun. He should be allowed to try new things without much explanation.

Well well well. We haven't shared earphones in a while. Welcome Back, old friend.

Episode 2

I am a bit worried that Ji Hyun hasn't disclosed that he can't swim.

Not sure how to read the separate zoom ins on each lead's face in the waking scene on the bus.

Damn, Jae Won. You don't need to be so broken up that you don't get to room with the freshman.

They're supposed to be surfing but everyone looks bundled up. That water is probably cold.

It's interesting how much this show is using its runtime to show mundane things like these two walking together.

The posture in the suit scene was deeply compelling.

I'm so glad Jae Won asked whether this boy could swim before they got into the water properly.

As a fan of Shelter (2007), I'm enjoying the surfing content.

What does Eun Ji know? Why is she so bitter about Jae Won hanging out with Ji Hyun?

Shower scenes where one asks the other way they're shy also never get old for me.

Eun Ji is mean mugging the fuck out of them at the grill.

Everyone seems really intent on who Jae Won may be dating.

Still, this swimming club campfire looks cozy.

Mmm, Jae Won and Eun Ji feel bitter.

Jae Won, my man, I need to understand you next week.

This show is in line with the aesthetics and vibes I enjoy in queer cinema, so I will be watching all of this. I plan to continue Stray Thoughts.

#the eighth sense #korean bl #bl series #Ben watches

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frecklystars · 2 months

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You're finally adding your Patrick ship tag! Is there a reason why you didn't? Or maybe you did and I just missed it?

Yeah I'm finally adding the tag onto gifsets. Enough people guessed who the tag was for already so I thought I might as well, lol! I hesitated for a very long time because 1) he was on-and-off the F/O list for a long time until I finally built a version of him in my head that I tolerate, but god it was such... a rollercoaster getting to this point and 2) I don't ship entirely with the movie version of him because there's such a different version of him in my head, that it felt weird adding his ship tag onto gifsets. like. him sitting at a dinner table in a gifset, I'll look at him and think "there's a version of you in my head that I am so heavily involved with, but it isn't You." but hey. christian bale is so pretty.......... and whatever. the version in my head looks like christian bale too. so why not. it's all fiction and nothing is real and we're all gonna die, nothing in life matters :)

It's two months later and I've finally decided he's gonna stay on the F/O list even if he isn't really a... romantic F/O. I mean, he is? But he's not? But he is. But he's not. He's my boyfriend-who's-not-my-boyfriend. He's my serial killer bodyguard. He's my pathetic boytoy I drag around on a leash and if anybody is mean to me I just go "sic 'em, boy" take off his collar and let him go hog wild, and then I give him a treat for being my good dog.

In all honesty the reason why I'm shipping with him is because I need to rewire my brain into believing my F/Os love me, even the villains. Before I went through [vaguely gesturing to the trauma of 2023] a whole year of not being able to self ship without thinking any and all F/Os would hurt me, I was able to self ship with villains without any problems. Now it's insanely difficult to ship with anybody regardless if they're a villain or not, and I'm trying to feel like my old self again. This is where Pat comes in.

Somebody actually F/O recommended Patrick to me in my inbox a few months ago and they didn't tell me that he was a serial killer or a horrible person in general lmfao but they said... I'm paraphrasing here but they said something like "he is very intense, but he would be very protective and devoted to the one he loves" and that sounds like... something I need to get back into the habit of believing: all F/Os are protective and loving, they're not gonna be abusive towards me even if they're abusive villains themselves. Then my friend said "oh that's one of my favorite movies!" and sent me funny meme videos of Pat where he wasn't killing anybody, he was just. sweating profusely over business cards and crying hysterically in a phone booth. and I thought "wow I'm kind of in love with him, this is the most pathetic man I've ever seen in my life" and tbh if you know me long enough, you'll know a fun fact about me, I see a beautiful man sobbing his eyes out and that's it for me. it's over. I am so smitten for a pretty man who's shedding an unnecessary amount of tears. The more pathetic, the better. So then we joked that he was my boyfriend even though I planned to never see the movie (I live at Super Weenie Hut Juniors, I can't handle horror). WELL. I kept coming up with self ship scenarios with him even tho I only knew him from the business card scene and his crying scenes. Curiosity got the best of me anyways and then I realized "hey, if I'm feeling really attached to a villain right now, and if I watch this movie and come up with self ship ideas with him... isn't that healing? In a way? Having a really terrible person find a way to change and become a better person and to love me? Building a version of him in my head and believing he'd love me; isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing with fiction?? This could be a good healing exercise for me"

So then I watched the movie -- AND MY GOD I HAVE NEVER WORKED SO HARD TO SELF SHIP WITH A CHARACTER LOL DUDE THIS GUY IS INSANE. On and off that F/O list every few hours. I have never been on such a rollercoaster of emotions with a character. "I love him - oh god I hate him. I love him! I hate him. Oh this part of the movie is making me laugh so hard I have tears in my eyes. Oh god this part of the movie is so disturbing we need to skip it, I won't even acknowledge it happens. Oh haha I love him. Oh I hate him." Back and forth back and forth. I know he's the American Psycho™ so he's gonna be quite intense. y'know. but this was also my first horror movie just in general and I was very on edge shakily gripping my friend's hand LOL. And then the end of the movie made me feel a lot better because - well I won't spoil it, but the end of the movie really really helped me feel better about it, and if it didn't end that way, then I don't know if I would have bothered trying to put him on the F/O list at all. But I am a stubborn bitch!!!!!!! I want to get better so bad and if shipping with this guy is gonna help me then damn it all he is GOING on that F/O list!!!!

So he's officially on the F/O list now (even if he isn't really a romantic kind of F/O, he's still Something dear to me). Woohoo 🥳🥳 I feel genuinely 100% safe and loved with him, even if it isn't the "canon" version of Pat, there's still a version of him built off of that and that feels like a big win for me considering my circumstances. He isn't a main F/O by any means so he likely won't be sticking around my head for very long, but wrow. I love him. and he loves meeee!!!! and if I keep working very very very hard maybe I can ship with TF characters again someday, bc god I miss them so bad

#anonymous #asks #💕♬♪ Losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥#so sorry if you expected a short answer. you ask me a question i WILL ramble for 500 years

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saturnisfallingdown · 9 months

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don’t watch good omens and i’m not planning to but i’m nosy: what’s coffee theory

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED !!!!!! IM GOING TO TALK FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW!! thank you so much nora welcome to my cave!! its homey in here. we talk about bbc prime video series good omens.

So for the Context: as im sure youve seen if youve ever glimpsed a gifset in the past week, Good Omens season 2 ends with a big tragic decision. Aziraphale meets with Metatron, a bigwig in heaven. Metatron tells him about how due to Plot Reasons, they need a new supreme archangel in heaven, and Aziraphale is the perfect fit for the role. Local demon best friend Crowley confesses his love and tells Aziraphale about how he wants them to run off together and leave heaven and hell behind, but Aziraphale is incredibly set on using a powerful position in heaven to do some real good. Crowley is offered the chance to join him, but Crowley stays on earth while Aziraphale goes up to superheaven. This causes the big tragic break-up between the two of them you've seen giffed one billion times.

Now onto the theory itself. The important thing to note about Aziraphale's conversation with Metatron is the, you guessed it, coffee!! Metatron, in human disguise, picks up a latte with almond syrup from the shop across from Aziraphale's place. Before he gives Aziraphale the job offer, Metatron gives him the coffee and insists he drink it in front of him.

The "Coffee Theory" is this: Metatron in some way (the method is disputed) spiked the coffee, and whatever was done to it affected Aziraphale's mindset in order to get him to leave behind Crowley. Some kind of a magic angelic brainwashing potion.

The theory sprung up for two reasons, the first being that the coffee is focused on a weird amount. Metatron asks Aziraphale to drink it in front of him, an entire scene is dedicated to it being purchased, it's a whole thing. The second, really big reason, is that people didn't think the ending of the season made sense. This is to say, Aziraphale choosing the bureaucracy of heaven over his best friend of 6000 years. Many claimed it was "out of character" for him, and thought another force might have been behind his actions.

So yeah, that's the coffee theory. It's been a biig source of debate in the fandom recently, and therefore many people still swear by it!!

But with the facts and logic presented, we may briefly enter the opinion zone! This is all my measly two cents. This being said however: I am not a coffee theory bitch!!!!!!!!

I am someone who grew up in a very shitty church, had a lot of my decisions influenced by it, and I think Aziraphale's actions made perfect sense!!! I think it was entirely in character! Aziraphale's entire character, as we've seen it throughout thousands of years, holds so much hope in heaven! Even if he sees himself as separate from it, it's clear he still thinks of heaven as a tool to do good, simply led by bad people. He doesn't see the inherent flaws in the system like Crowley and the audience do. I think it's a totally logical leap for his character dedicate himself to doing, what he thinks, is undeniable good through heaven! He thinks he can fix it, and that's worth leaving behind the person he loves most! That's incredibly strong character writing, and to chalk it up to a magic mind control potion and actually aziraphale wouldve totally left heaven if he wasn't drugged just. removes so much of that impact!!

#HI NORA!! SORRY ABOUT THE NOVEL OF A RESPONSE LMAO. I LOVE YOU #i love talking about things and characters and themes wahghghgh!!!!!#good omens #good omens spoilers #coffee theory #ive noticed many more coffee theory truthers on platforms like tiktok whilst tumblr users tend to lean more against it. interesting stuff!!#<- at least in my experience from what ive seen!!!! lord knows i dont use tiktok

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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 1 year

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My weekly roundup CW 18

I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists!). These are just my personal opinions and preferences.

And yes, this will contain spoilers!

☼ 1. Love Mate

I am thrilled and I decided to ignore the permanent crossing of boundaries. The series is so funny and not in a too embarrassing way. I cringe insanely fast and here it really kept within limits because the jokes just ended in time and were not exhausted until it hurts. We have grumpy-I-don't-believe-in-love-guy and the sunshine-I-fell-in-love-with-you-at-first-sight-guy (and yes, those are their names for me now) and the two have good chemistry and I just go awww. Grumpy guy is actually already smitten, just doesn't want to admit it to himself that someone has managed to break through his shell. And sunshine guy is just an idiot in love, who knows no boundaries and would do anything to convince his crush that love can be beautiful. And I am sitting in the front row rooting for him. Maybe because I can identify too much with grumpy-guy and find it quite nice to watch his heart slowly being conquered. Great series! Clear recommendation!

→ 2. My Story

Cutest scene this week goes to:

Zeke and Fifth are such flirts with each other and they both know they like the other and I think Zeke knows Fifth likes him too, it's just Fifth hasn't quite figured out that Zeke likes him too. There's still the belief that the latter might have a crush on Kim. Oh my little Fifth…you two are inseparable, Zeke doesn't leave your side unless you intentionally leave him behind, he is constantly flirting with you and bringing you coffee in bed. He actively and repeatedly seeks your proximity and wants you as a nude model! How many more clues do you need!? The preview for the next episode looks very promising! The main couple? Still not of interest to me. I lost interest in their story at some point and currently have no plans to get back in. They are not bad, Zeke and Fifth are just way cuter together.

Random scene I just don't understood what was happening or why:

↑ 3. Our Dining Table

How nice that the two of them ran into each other and Yutaka was able to experience the magic of the mother's special recipe. And when Minoru saw how differently his friend treated Tane and how Yutaka treated him, I think that was the moment when he finally fell in love. The look he gave Yutaka definitely speaks volumes. The story has some deeper parts, but it's still such a feel-good watch during the week. Some mid-week relaxation.

↓ 4. Happy Merry Ending

I think we all know that SeungJun's best friend is in love with him. Drama preprogrammed? We will have to wait and see. But I'm afraid this is a feast for writers. I'd like to see a plot twist like this, when you think that the two main characters get together and in the end it's the best friend who has also been in love with one of them for ages who becomes endgame (yes, my wish for The Promise). Won't happen, but I'd think it would be cool. Other than that, we got to see cute scenes between the characters and a bit of SeungJun's past, which is really not pleasant and I can get why he is how he is. Best scene so far is definitely the last scene of episode four when JaeHyun encourages SeungJun. Even though I was a little disappointed that they didn't dance with each other. Let's wait until the hand holding, then that will be my little tummy tickling scene!

↑ 5. Step by Step

I really enjoyed this episode again. What a roller coaster of emotions here! Maybe it was because the colleagues didn't appear that often and Jeng was also a bit more bearable again. At least he takes to heart what the employees have to say about him. And honestly, I love the looks he gives Pat! I was going to make a gifset, but then Photoshop broke, and after trying five times, reinstalling the application a zillion times, and ending up throwing Adobe completely off my computer, I figured there's currently a curse on it, I'm not touching the scenes again! But I think it won't be the last time he looks at Pat with that loving look. Such a handsome man. I'm a sucker for men in suits, but in this case, casual black shirts look soooo much better. As for the plot…I was too distracted by Jeng 😂

↓ 6. La Pluie

The mood of this week goes to:

It could have been over so easily and so quickly…well, Phat took his fate into his own hands and fell in love…That is shit. And in the end, I really just sat there and kept asking myself: What's happening right now? Are Tai and Lomfon falling for each other? What? And the scene where our precious vet is making out with someone and it starts to rain and Tai hears everything…that hurt amazingly bad. It left me speechless for a moment. I'm really curious to see where the journey goes. But I found a new motto this week: Unfuck it! Love it! Tian is the best! Someone needs to give him a really big hug. The poor kid is going through enough with his brothers and his arch-nemesis, who he's slowly falling for and who is slowly falling for his brother himself. Or this is just to get closer to Tian or just a representation of how people can bond over what they have in common without anything romantic having to happen right away, but I think we're all so influenced by our bl series that guys/men immediately flirt with each other and fall in love when there's common ground and a lively conversation. Just saw that the series is marked 18+ on MDL. Just wondering what made them give it that rating. iQiyi has it rated 13+.

↑ 7. Naked Dining

Okay, the moon thing was really cute. The moon means "I love you" and Mahori panics because he's already sent it. Honey, don't worry, Futa sends back a picture of the moon and everyone is happy! The female colleague will definitely make trouble, because of course now she has noticed how great Futa actually is or because she has been in love with him for a long time anyway. I don't really like this pretend you're my boyfriend acts because it always ends up with the girl falling in love and provoking drama. On the cuter hand, I thought it was cute when Mahori confessed having a crush on someone.

↓ 8. The Promise

Why do you have to drag everything out sooo much? Come on! These two like each other. This game is getting boring. Let them get together! And not just in a dreamed up deleted scene. What was that? I have no idea where to place that scene. Did either of them dream this? And if so, when? When Nan was in Party's arms? And Party, my man…you really are one of the best! Phu…get off your duff. Have faith in your best friend that even if he doesn't love you back, he won't abandon you. And Nan, please listen to your heart. I really feel like I write the same thing every week. I probably do, because a blind man with a cane can see that they like each other, but nothing seems to progress! It's frustrating!

↓ 9. A Boss and a Babe

Okay, so the topics are tough at times and yet the series feels like light banter to me. You know what I mean? It's dramatic with rape and drug trafficking and prison, and yet you feel like you're sweeping through the series light as a feather. I'm sure that's a little bit due to the characters. Even when dramatic scenes are shown, they are immediately grinned away in the next scene or covered up by love talk. The tragedy of many things doesn't really reach the viewer. And I won't go into Gun's mother for a moment. She wants to protect her son and especially the name of the family, which I can understand. The way it's done is just off, but really not as bad as in some other series or movies. And Cher doesn't let himself be kept away from Gun, which was kind of sweet in the end.

☼ 10. House of Stars

It was a mixture of boredom and drama and sex. I think the series is trying to go in the same direction as War of Y, but with less production budget and, sorry, a worse script. We have the mistress of the house who sets the rules and everyone obeys her. We have the little yet unknown one, who will fall in love with the nice seeming model student in the next episode, we have the competing pair, where you don't know exactly what's going on, we have the two in love, where I'm not sure if they are already a couple or not yet and we have the stalker, who finds the aggressive, heterosexual one so horny, that he watches him having sex and then lays hands on himself. And all this is accompanied by boring table talk and out-of-place fanservice scenes. Yes, this first episode has not quite picked me up yet.

↓ 11. Our Skyy 2

What's the point of intentionally hurting your partner just so you can have the satisfaction of surprising him in the end? That would have also worked if you had congratulated him and gone to the celebration from the outset and then just sneaked out. I'm angry about all this crap drama. It really overshadowed everything for me. And yes, I knew Our Skyy was going to be cringy, but it does really hurt. I'm really scared of when my favorites are on that it's going to spoil some of the original series for me….

↓ 12. Tin Tem Jai

I don't even bother to organize my thoughts - that's how little I care about the series in the end. Why were they fighting in the mall now? What was that hard cut and anyway…why that scene? A no-park zone??? How old is Tin!??! And was it really legal for Park to have sex with him? Their conversations are just so exhausting! Why is Park annoyed with Tin? I don't get it! That whole scene with your face is annoying….what was that for? Okay, now that's what I call abuse of power in a relationship with age difference…If Tin doesn't do what Park asks (i.e. not take the job that can benefit him professionally later and miss three days of college), then it's over? Wow.

I don't want to talk to Wikipedia right now….funniest scene of the week.

And what a drama with the mother in the last episode…Was that necessary? That was a bit much drama…And what exactly happened to Kana and Pao? They were just left behind on the track…At least I found them interesting and I would have liked to know how they are doing now. No…That was not good!

#weekly wrap up #weekly update #josi watching bl #sunday charts #just my opinion #bl drama #bl series #love mate #my story the series #our dining table #happy merry ending #step by step the series #la pluie #naked dining #the promise the series #a boss and a babe #house of stars #our skyy 2 #tin tem jai

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booksteaandtoomuchtv · 2 years

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I know that OUAT tober doesn't start until, well, October. And I am trying to participate in that through next month. But, I cannot wait. I cannot get this scene out of my mind. And, I have searched and searched for an analysis of this moment and there is none so far as I can tell. So, here is my attempt to start a conversation.

Okay, so at this point, Emma has noticed something is off. She has asked Killian about it and Rumple, speaking via Killian, has dismissed her. Emma tried to connect with a kiss to see if her feeling of off-ness (yeah, I am going with off-ness) should be something she is concerned about and he pulled away and cut it short. (Perhaps because the kiss felt too much like deception and he can only control so much of this interaction when Rumple has his heart?)

Okay, so now the gifset.

Killian speaks the words that Rumple has forced him and looks away immediately. He cannot hold Emma's gaze. You can see a moment of pained disgrace when he glances away. He seems seriously disgusted that he cannot fight the control Rumple has over him.

Emma, who is very sensitive to people she loves, is stunned by the entire show that Rumple has put on through Killian. She also seems to be a bit shaken that Killian would leave her to deal with this without her when he is typically a fight alongside her type. But then, the hand on the arm. The hand that is gripping Emma like a lifeline. THIS IS THE MOMENT THAT HAUNTS ME. I have lost sleep over this moment. It has shaken me to my core. It feels like he is begging her at this moment, pleading with the universe, screaming out for someone to notice him and to save him from drowning in this control that Rumple has over him. But, then, we get that camera pan to his face. And, we see him come into his own a bit. We see him collect himself and we see him refuse to add to Emma's burden. We see him stop begging to be saved and grab enough control over himself that he can and drop her arm, before brushing by her and leaving the diner. And, we are left looking at Emma who knows something is up. She's almost looking at the space he was in like "what the actual? Someone else saw that right?" She's concerned, but she also felt brushed off - as if Killian was telling her that he didn't need her to help.

...Can you imagine how much Captain Killian Jones hates being controlled by the Crocodile? The anguish. He must feel so angry because it is the effing Crocodile. And so, annoyed at himself for allowing the Crocodile to gain this huge advantage over him and to manipulate Emma through him. He must know that Rumple will kill him soon, for his usefulness is about at an end. He just started something with Emma. And, here it is being used for the Crocodile's plan and he will likely die before it can really become something.

And, this just haunts me.

Anyway... PLEASE, please, jump in with your thoughts. (You can send me anything OUAT to discuss and I will be here for you! )

#ouat #ouat s4 #killian jones #emma swan #killian x emma #captain swan #ouattober2022 #once upon a time #i know that i am early #but i am so excited #and i can't wait #my current hyperfixation #first gif set #ouat edit

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br1ghtestlight · 5 months

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okay first of all im not convinced that rudy didn't buy tickets only bcuz louise annoyed him about it and he vaguely recognized the bands name from one of his dads old records FJDMDNSMSMSJ

why doesn't tina get to go to the old man concert w/ gene louise and their friends 😭

love how both concerts that tina mentioned going to were boyz 4 now concerts and that BOTH of them were actual episodes in the show. this is why catching up on bob's burgers lore is so important. these are the things you'd miss!!!!

NOOO NOT THE KING BREAKING HIS PAW this is a code red emergency

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT QUINCE BURGER BANGER NAME‼️‼️ have the bobs burgers writers seen the hawk and chick bb/eeaao comparison gifsets. do they even know that they made me cry. i want you to know how much i love and support you even if you stop fighting monsters with me someday and do taxes instead. okay sorry i got distracted

rudy!!!!

okay MAYBE i missed them saying that the concert had paid entrance or something but this is a block party?? could they not just go downstairs and watch the band outside. like it might not be premium seats but at least they'd be going to their first concert ?

most normal louise and rudy interaction

LINDA IS GONNA GET LITTLE KING TRASHMOUTH EUTHANIZED GOOD GOD 😭😭😭😭💔💔

why is tina being the voice of reason here LMAO like at least google how to capture an injured raccoon or something

OH ITS NOT THAT HARD. GOOD WHEELS ON THIS THING obsessed w/ teddy in this subplot(??) i missed him

i feel like this episode has the same problem as the st patrick's day episode where despite the episode's title and description trying to make the subplot the main focus of the episode its also Clearly the subplot to a more important storyline. which is fine bcuz they're both entertaining in this episode but its gonna be confusing as hell in the future trying to find this episode 😭

"maybe it would be easier to watch the concert from the street" IM SAYING LIKE?? literally what was louise's plan here. im obsessed with her

girl. all this for like six pieces of candy

THIS HAS NO REASON TO BE SO STRESSFUL im shaking im so worried about little king trashmouth... if anything bad happens to him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. that would literally be bury your gays. to me

not bob having another burger related existential crisis ☹️☹️

bob has failed to realize he could cook literally ANY other food if he really wanted to. but i will admit he likes cooking the burgers. and tbh?? what he described sounded like an autistic dream so maybe he simply does not understand the vision like me and u bob. maybe he just doesn't get it

"is that magic marker?" "what makes you say that??" "my.... eyes?"

actually where the HELL did they get those shirts they're too big to be louise's but wayy too small to gene's this is the actual mystery in the episode. possibly maybe tina's old shirts or something??

today we learned that linda buys her wine from the liquor store on their block which was Probably obvious but cool to see it confirmed

OH HELL NOO BOB IS GETTIN OLDER

also kinda funny to say this when big bob is Literally in next weeks episode and seems happy enough running his diner.... like bob have you considered maybe you LIKE cooking for people and thats okay?? your dad does too. some people are happy to do one thing forever and thats not like a Problem unless you're unhappy

awww they're such cuties dancing together

ROMANTIC RACCOON REUNION 💕💕🏳️‍🌈

"Well there are moments, you know... when the band locks in, the crowd is with them and everything they ever loved about playing music comes flooding back in a rush of pure heavenly emotion. All that crap."

"But... all these decades later, they still have them? The moments?"

"You tell me."

😭😭 WHY DID THIS PART OF THE EPISODE MAKE ME WANNA CRY I HAVE TO GET A VIDEO OF IT OR SOMETHING. WHAT THE HELL too real for creative people..... omg. this season has a lot of moments like that about the creative process like gene's song etc

YOUNG BOB‼️‼️ OHH HES SUCH A GENTLEMAN bob my beloved

THIS EPISODE WAS VERY CUTE?? very silly subplot w/ linda and the raccoons and then louise and gene and their friends. bob's little crisis in the middle there got to me harder than anticipated (i think they could have easily made that into its own episode but considering they've done similar concepts in the past i dont hate that they didn't flesh that out as much as they could have. we already KINDA know where bob is coming from here) and the ending clip with bob singing was soo silly im gonna need to post that too. fun episode!

#txt #bob's burgers #episode review

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transboykirito · 1 year

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kazuto and anti-hero, meta lyric analysis featuring me crying

i'm literally crying to this song as i write this so let's see how this goes. it's him, y'all. it is.

here's the song (the music video is a masterpiece)

i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser,

this is basically saying "i don't learn my lessons, i keep making immature mistakes and i don't know how to grow up". it reminds me of the scene in war of underworld where kazuto revisits the moments of his past, with the perspective of a few years. it also reminds me of the scene in the fairy dance arc where he says he's going to give up and accept reality, because it was immature to think he could overcome the system just because he wanted to.

midnights become my afternoons

this lyric refers to staying up all night, working yourself late into the night overthinking

when my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people i've ghosted stand there in the room

"when i stay up all night in self-loathing and regret and worry and depression, i think about all of the people i left in my past" basically. it obviously puts me in mind of the scene in war of underworld that i mentioned before, looking back on his past in his darkest hour, and the moment where asuna, suguha, shino and eugeo appear as "ghosts".

i made a gifset of this lyric with that scene.

it especially resonates with his relationship with suguha, in my opinion. he ignored her for years and did pretty irreparable damage to their relationship (even they admit it, no matter how close they become now, the years they spent apart have done damage). he regretted it for so long, and he spent so much time in aincrad hating himself for it.

in a cruel irony, he keeps finding reminders of her in that world, when she's out of reach - agatha, silica, even sachi to a degree. when he's already overthinking everything and in crisis, it's like she's a ghost in the room haunting him with his guilt and regret.

i should not be left to my own devices, they come with prices and vices, i end up in crisis

kazuto is someone who, surprisingly, doesn't do well when he's alone. in fact, most of the times when we see him isolate himself, he's doing it to punish himself, like when the black cats died and he swore off guilds and people because he didn't protect them, or when he and suguha fight and he shuts himself away from her because he hurt her again. the last time kazuto is "alone" (despite alice), he tries to kill himself. that's a crisis. this lyric essentially says "when i'm alone i end up overthinking and i end up going down self-destructive and detrimental paths".

tale as old as time

this is part of the last lyric, but. it's a tongue-in-cheek, minorly sarcastic jab at the narrator (taylor swift, kazuto kirigaya, etc. the person narrating the lyrics, you get the idea) saying "i've been doing this (the self-destruction) forever, i always do it and i've come to expect it, so has everyone around me".

this tone carries through most, if not all of the song. the narrator is tired of themself, and they can feel everyone around them growing tired of them too. it's self-aware and self-deprecating, confessional and open with just a hint of sarcastic predictability.

i wake up screaming from dreaming one day i'll watch as you're leaving, 'cause you got tired of my scheming for the last time

the obvious parallel first, "i wake screaming from dreaming one day i'll watch as you're leaving" is kazuto so many times through the series. he struggles with ptsd, obviously, and we see him struggle with imposter syndome and feelings of inadequacy, especially involving feeling like he isn't good enough for the people he loves, and that he'll fail to protect them.

so, for the second half of this lyric, it actually just reminds me of that sarcasm and self-awareness i mentioned earlier. the original intention of the lyric is closer to "i plan everything meticulously and i need to have the upper hand in every situation to protect myself" which i think kazuto would relate to to some extent, but... for him specifically i think of it more referring to his little habits and pranks and impulsive behaviour, asking "how far do i have to push it before this annoys you too much and you get tired and leave?"

everyone knows kazuto as being a lovable pain in the ass. off the top of my head i can think of asuna and eugeo chiding him for beinf distracted and reckless, the water gag he pulls on suguha, when he bites leafa, the way he takes jokes at klein and agil, etc. how long can he keep all that up before they get tired and leave?

it's me, hi. i'm the problem, it's me.

it's a very self-explanatory lyric. kazuto feels like he's the problem a lot. he gets himself into shit and then he ends up accidentally dragging everyone else into it too.

at teatime, everybody agrees

this one i just LOVE because it's literally not true. but the narrator feels like it is. it's only really touched on briefly, but kazuto has felt like everyone around him think he's the problem in their lives. suguha and their parents, asuna (especially around the fairy dance arc), shino, eugeo and alice.

we see him decide to take the death gun project all alone, without telling anyone what he's doing, because he doesn't want to worry them. he's afraid of suguha and asuna finding out because he doesn't want to get them involved too.

it just... it reminds me of that imposter syndome again. he feels like everyone is disappointed by kazuto because they want kirito instead.

i'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

so i personally have two interpretations of this lyric, and the one i'll be using for this post is "i'll do something that's going to hurt me because i'm overly ambitious and think i can't be hurt, but i'll never look at myself and adress the root causes of my behaviour. i'll just distract myself and burn myself to avoid having to change, even though i have to."

kazuto wants to be the hero. if someone needs help, he'll help them, even if it's detrimental to him, even if it nearly kills him. he plays the part of the hero, the invincible black swordsman who can rescue the princess and save the world.

and he knows that doesn't match who he really is. he knows he can't keep reaching for "the sun" (being a hero) because it's weighing down on him too much. he knows he needs to step back and work on himself, who he is as a person, as kazuto rather than as kirito. he hates feeling like he has to constantly live up to those standards or risk disappointing everyone, but he does it anyway, because it's easier than admitting out loud that he feels inadequate.

it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

this lyric refers to the narrator's fear that the people around them are bored of them and tired of their bad habits. the narrator thinks it must be exhausting trying to cheer for them when everyone knows they're constantly fighting an uphill battle with themself.

i mean... see above. kazuto feels like everyone wants kirito. suguha sees him struggling in fairy dance and phantom bullet, he admits all his ptsd and insecurities to shino in phantom bullet, eugeo sees him struggle practically daily, asuna sees him at all his lowest points. they see the damage that he does to himself, and yes, they love him and root for him anyway, but aren't they tired of it? aren't they tired of seeing someone they love destroy himself over and over? he gets there in the end, but he's so tired, and he thinks the ones he's closest to are tired of it too.

sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby and i'm a monster on the hill, too big to hang out, slowly lurching towards your favourite city

the sexy baby lyric is good end of discussion that isn't what we're here for. this lyric pretty much just says "i feel like i'm too much to handle and feel like an outcast from everyone around me"

kazuto feels like he as a whole complete, complex person, is too big and too much to handle. asuna and eugeo are really the only people he lets see everything, he pulls himself back around almost everyone else.

"slowly lurching towards your favourite city" is essentially just the narrator saying "i'm a monster who destroys everything and i'm going to destroy the things you love most if you stay around me" which. kazuto.

pierced through the heart but never killed

"i've been absolutely heartbroken and i kept going". again, it reminds me of the scene from war of underworld where kazuto literally rips his own heart out. he tried, he wanted to... but he's never killed. he has to keep going with this wound in his chest (heartbreak, anxiety, depression, etc) that hurts, but it doesn't finish the job.

did you hear my covert narcissism i disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman?

one of the most kazuto kirigaya lyrics of all time imho.

the lyric basically asks "do you notice how many of this nice things i do so that way people tell me i'm doing a good job and praise me for being nice?"

kazuto plays the hero. he goes out of his way to save people, to protect people, to be the knight in shining armour. he does so many good things... and he wants it to be recognised. he wants people to think of him as a hero. especially suguha and asuna.

but then... do they notice? do people notice how hard he's trying to play into that hero role? does eugeo notice when he starts wanting to save everybody? does asuna notice when he says he just wants to run away together?

it's such a loaded lyric and i'm not doing this parallel justice, just please. it's him.

i wake up screaming from dreaming one day i'll watch as you're leaving, and life will lose all it's meaning for the last time

eugeo. this is him about eugeo. and also asuna. and sachi. when he lost them, his life lost everything.

when sachi died, he just kept aimlessly fighting with little sense of purpose. when he lost eugeo, he tried to kill himself because he couldn't bare to go on anymore.

when he thought asuna died, he literally says he lost his reason to do anything. "fighting in this virtual world, returning to the real world, continuing on with my life - it was all meaningless."

i have this dream, my daughter-in-law kills me for the money, she thinks i left them in the will

okay so this lyric is like... A Lot, it's pretty much saying "i'm scared that all i am to people is what i have and not who i am". also worth noting she specifies daughter-in-law, its someone she had no control over entering her life, and they only did it to get her money.

in the context of kazuto... i don't think it's about money, exactly. for kazuto it would likely be something more to do with notoriety or infamy. it kinda reminds me of eiji and their battle for the top spot in ordinal scale, or vassago's obsession with him, or his duel with kayaba, etc.

the family gathers round and reads it and then someone screams out, "she's laughing up at us from hell!"

so, in the music video, taylor leaves her children 13 cents each, and everything else goes to her cats. then a fight breaks out at the funeral and she watches in disgust and horror that she didn't really mean anything to these people (even her own family)

kazuto has mentioned before that he would sell his soul to the devil to protect the people he loves. trying to think of this lyric for him just makes me think of him waking up from his coma in the underworld and fighting vassago. because... like... if that wasn't him metaphorically laughing at him from hell idk what else would fit here.

it's me, hi, i'm the problem, it's me. everybody agrees, everybody agrees.

the narrator is tired of themself. the s in the final "agrees" is drawn out to sound like a snake hissing, implying the narrator feels that someone around them will grow tired of rooting for them and instead turn on them because they would know every weak point.

kirito vs eugeo s32. that's all i have to say.

anyway... this song just reminds me of kazuto so much, and a few lyrics put me in mind of some other sao characters too (eugeo, asuna, leafa, sinon, mito, bercouli, quinella, oberon) but yeah. it's like, 5:39 in the morning and i've been awake since 3am yesterday so sorry if this is like. a mess.

thanks if you read this much, sorry i force you all to read taylor swift lore on my sao blog <3

#kirito #meta #saoxmidnights

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avadaniels · 1 year

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/post/708163486549786625/insp-by-steveharrington i understand eddie and steve's parts but why is nancy trapped by the narrative? i just never really thought about and am curious !

Thank you for the great question!! I called Nancy "trapped by the narrative" to refer to her romantic relationships. (More under the cut, beware this is very thorough lmao 😇)

There are different ways to interpret Nancy's character, what she wants and what's best for her. All of these interpretations are valid. You're allowed to think whatever you want about Nancy since she's a fictional character, but here are two specific interpretations that make me think she's "trapped by the narrative".

(1) There are many fans that think Nancy should not end up with either Jonathan or Steve. They think that she should not be in a relationship, and instead just go college and focus on her career. Maya Hawke said something like this in an interview. From personal experience I can say it's very difficult and confusing to be in a long-term relationship around this age, while you're also trying to grow up and plan your future. Stranger Things is not real life so real-life rules don't apply, but in the show Nancy has shown a lot of ambition and career focus. She resented Jonathan when he didn't support her at their job in season 3, so if either Steve or Jonathan ever wanted her to prioritize their relationship/starting a family over her career, this would likely lead to some issues. And Steve has specifically said he wants a big family. So textually, it looks like Nancy would be better off moving on without either of her love interests.

(2) There are many fans that think Nancy is a lesbian, and maybe she could be with Robin instead. In this case, Nancy has likely stayed in her relationships with Steve and Jonathan because of compulsory heterosexuality, something that many lesbians experience (which is basically the societal pressure to be straight. It is the norm to be straight, and any other sexuality is not accepted). Here is a cool post that shows this happening in the show.

But it's very unlikely that either of these things will happen.

In season 4, we saw the return of the Nancy-Jonathan-Steve love triangle. What's strange about this decision is that it sort of already happened and was resolved. Things ended between Steve and Nancy and she got with Jonathan instead. Steve had closure for their relationship in season 2, and in season 3 they had both moved on, but then in season 4 he suddenly confesses he still has feelings for her. (The Duffers probably didn't know what else to do with him, because of all the reasons in the original "Steve was abandoned by the narrative" post that inspired my gifset.)

But anyways, it's happening. They are setting up lots of drama between Nancy and Jonathan and Steve in season 5, and this will likely be the main focus of Nancy's storyline. Even though she already got over Steve... And even though her relationship with Jonathan was in trouble even before Steve got involved... Based on how they ended season 4, when everyone thinks of Nancy during season 5, their main question will be who does she end up with, Jonathan or Steve?

In season 1, Nancy talks about how her parents didn't really love each other, but got married and started a family anyway because it was what they were supposed to do. About this, she says "Screw that!"

In season 3, we saw Nancy to be fiercely ambitious, and wishing to be more independent, so she could have agency over her career and become an accomplished journalist. After Jonathan left for California, they could have done a lot of interesting things with her character, and it would've been cool to see her move on and be successful and fulfilled without a relationship at all.

But in season 4, they reintroduced Steve as a love interest, and by the finale both him and Jonathan have unresolved drama with Nancy. Now Nancy's narrative is all about her romantic relationship once again, and she's trapped in the very same love triangle from season 1. She's trapped into choosing someone, one or the other. She likely will not have the option to choose herself. She won't have the option to really explore what makes her happy, by exploring her sexuality, or exploring what her life looks like without a romantic relationship.

I think that's everything. I hope that explains it, thanks so much for the question! 🥰

#ask #anonymous #meta #nancy wheeler #ronance

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outrunningthedark · 1 year

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My real big problem with BuckTaylor is him wanting to date Taylor in the first place despite knowing what she almost did during the brownies accident, which also happened briefly in Season 2 until he decided to be with Ali because seriously, it just makes him look very stupid in comparison when he can be more than that. The only real acknowledgement to Taykay's behavior from the firefam that I remember of is that during Jonah's investigation via Chim and Hen's silent gesture, the same episode we're seeing her "true nature anyway" so it's redundant and Athena talking about her to Lou which does not go anywhere and she does nothing with it afterwards.

Babying Buck or not, Taykay's writing is riddled with stupid, stupid decisions one after another.

Look, it's really easy for us as viewers to question the choice to bring TayKay back as a real LI and then never truly address her previous behavior, but (IMO) we would have a better understanding if we thought like a show runner.

*LI is going to be temporary, mostly to fill the void left by Maddie (one woman leaves, another is available) and Madney as a couple. What would be faster/easier? Creating a whole new character, or reinserting someone the audience doesn't have to get to know? *LI's career should have some sort of connection to the first responder life so she can fill those gaps in screen time, but not be important enough where her presence or absence affects the overall story. TayKay is a reporter whose segments meant crossing paths with the firefam, but once the narrative shifted she was easily swapped out for another voice (they don't even need to be seen!) who could do the exact same job. *Not atoning for prior actions served two purposes: keep any newer members of the audience (s4 was when the fandom *really* took off, I think) from dwelling on a past version of a character they never knew, and hope that by not having Buck or any of his friends question why he'd get involved with her again, the audience wouldn't think twice about his change of heart. And for the most part, it seemed to work, especially around here. We've seen the gifsets about #charactergrowth after 4x11 when she made her "celebration" at Buck's about solving two cases rather than a promotion. Hook, line, and sinker. (Good thing those edits don't circulate anymore!) *Her work didn't negatively impact the people in Buck's life (this part is important - those of us who always saw TayKay for what she was had no problem criticizing her obsession with solving the husband and wife murder plot or how she tells other people's stories to hide from her own, but none of that hurt anyone directly connected to her bf) until it was time to end the relationship. When her quest for the truth crossed the line for the second time, Buck realized she was never truly going to prioritize their relationship or his trust in her over a chance to make headlines. Does it make sense? Not to people who over-analyze and assume the show runners like to have some grand plan at all times. But remember what Kristen said after 5A - TayKay wasn't even supposed to be in as many scenes as she got that first half despite being a reporter. She was always meant to be a "for now" option, not "forever", and the writing had to reflect that. (Unfortunately, not everyone could see the story for what it was, hence the panic over trying to legitimize her as Buck's future from Buddie fandom and then the BeeTees claiming the show switched things up last minute because they couldn't handle the idea that their fave was made "better" until the show brought all the mains back where they belong.)

#anonymous #tina speaks #i'm not actually insulting taylor in this so not tagging as such #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #evan buckley

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shioaoi · 8 months

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Today is finale day for Nancy Drew.

I've attempted to keep myself busy, not let the sadness envelope me at the loss of somthing so precious to me. But at some point you have to stop moving, so I thought I would be sappy here on main cos so many other fans are, and reading everyone's experiences has shown me that I'm not the only person this show has touched so deeply.

I was rather late finding this show. Here in the UK, we don't have the CW network, though to be honest I don't watch a lot of cable anyways. It was simply by chance that a gifset was reblogged onto my dash, one of the morning-after scenes from 3x13. The softness of Nancy and Ace in that scene melted my asexual heart, and then I read the tags and saw it was from a show called Nancy Drew.

The Nancy Drew games were some of my earliest experiences with video games, my aunt for my Birthday and Christmas would buy me games from a site called Big Fish and install them onto my PC, and one of the ones she brought was a Nancy Drew game. Visual Novels, Point and Clicks, and Mystery Games are still a core part of my tastes as a gamer, even as I branched out into more modern, AAA games and the growing indie market.

So I downloaded the show, and watched it while running raids on an MMO - and I was instantly in love. It's difficult for me to find the mental capacity to consume media - particularly anything new - but the story telling, mystery and characters kept me hooked and guessing every episode, and by the time I had finished watching it, I was inspired in a way I had never been before.

At the time, I was working a corporate admin job, one I had been working ever since I had turned 18. I was a collage dropout with no grades, complex mental health issues, and PTSD from abuse, which caused me to lose a good few many years of my life just trying to stablisie. This show came into my life when I was starting to find a footing, and wanted to do more after all those years lost.

I began writing, creating narratives for characters I long had ideas for; fanfics that made me connect with fans; and fanart I used as opportunities to push myself out of my comfort zone of drawing.

It made me realise that I was discontent with where I was, and that what I wanted to do was create. I left my job to pursue art. Things didn't go according to plan, but the show was there for me throughout it and I kept writing and drawing even when I was in recovering from almost dying thanks to pancreatitis - 7 fics in 7 days is something I will forever be proud of but will never repeat.

And then I made the decision to apply to Uni, despite my disabilities and having no grades. I applied with a portfolio that featured the fanart and fanvids I made for this show, and I got accepted - now I will be going to learn how to make games, with the aim to make ones like the Nancy Drew games that got me into gaming as a kid.

I found a fandom that I wanted to engage with, even when I was bad at doing so.

I made my own merch because I was sad there was nothing official.

And now, even with this show ending, I will keep going forward with the spark this show ignited within me - and maybe I'll get to tell my own tale with this crew someday, you never know.

Thank you to the cast and crew, and to the fans, for quite literally changing my life

#getting emotional on main #nancy drew #shio speaks

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