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therantingsage · 2 months

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Because I promised this, and I really wanted to do it anyway, here's a really really long-winded rambling dissertation on:

Why N and Uzi secretly dating since before episode 5 is genuinely super plausible and also stupidly hilarious /pos

Under the cut cuz it got obscenely long oops-

Idk where to start, so I'll just cover my bases: why people think they've been in a relationship already in the first place.

We all saw this scene:

And legit it can only be implying one of two things. Either A: this is his confession of feelings for her. Or B: this is him admitting that they've been dating for a while at this point. With the hearts it's pretty clear that this statement is meant to be romantically interpreted, and Nori's aghast reaction confirms that that's how it's being interpreted.

Obviously no matter the interpretation, N only writes that because he can't think of anything else to snap Uzi out of it and thereby stop this confrontation from ending poorly. And it works obviously so good on him for the quick thinking.

Two things that make me lean towards the 'we're dating' interpretation over 'confession' interpretation, though: firstly, he's not writing this to tell Uzi something, he specifically calls out to Nori before writing it. "Hey btw I'm dating your daughter" makes more sense than "Hey btw I like your daughter romantically" because if it was the latter, Nori has far less reason to be mad at Uzi about it rather than N. It's not like Uzi can control how N feels. But if they're dating, that means Uzi is partially to blame for that and Nori can get upset at HER.

Secondly, the awkward wording. Like it's really vague and without the hearts you'd have no reason to assume anything but platonic meaning. But these are words we, and him, have heard before:

...from Uzi, in response to a question about who she is and, by proxy, the nature of their relationship. She says it defensively, follows it up by telling N to shut up. N repeating her wording which, again, is a description of the nature of their relationship....but this time implying something romantic with it, it suggests the idea that it had romantic implications the first time.

I don't think it's far-fetched to say Uzi at least has feelings for N at this point in the story. I don't think anyone's arguing that that's not true. But the idea that 'hang out' means the exact same thing both times is what I'm arguing here. They're dating, but this version of N is a stranger to her. A cute stranger, as she says, but a stranger nonetheless who she isn't comfortable admitting to that she's dating him in the future to his face.

Backing up a bit, Uzi's reaction to Nori's reaction:

This is a clear and obvious parallel to the previous episode, when 'Tessa' says "Don't date my robot, please."

In both instances, someone gets on her case about the idea of them dating, and in both cases she doesn't deny it but instead defends both his and her own agency in the matter. No one is allowed to tell them what to do and Uzi refuses to let anyone try.

When Nori says it, though, she does seem to try and deny it for a moment. "I'm not-" She cuts herself off so we can't say for certain what she was going to say (if anything. it's entirely possible she started that sentence with no plan how to finish it, I do that a lot personally). But that's also because, like, she's Uzi. If this was meant to be a secret relationship, it would probably be her who made that decision. And like with butler N, she has no reason to disclose that kind of information to a stranger. She'd probably try and deny it whether its true or not.

As for when it would've started, after camp is the only big timeskip where we don't have much clue went on during. Cabin Fever is a big episode for them, and the three episodes that come after it are all back-to-back-to-back. The only time it makes sense to have started is sometime between eps 4 and 5.

And guys. Guys.

This, more than anything to me, paired with the idea that they've been dating for a while by the time the most recent couple episodes happen.....doesn't this seem so, so romantic? You could easily call this a love confession! So easily! It sounds like one much more than 'we just kinda are hanging out a lot idk' at least.

Like, rephrase that even a little: "Being with you makes scary things fun. Being with you makes me feel brave. It makes me feel safe. So I want to keep being with you."

And Uzi agrees with that sentiment. He promises to stick with her. And she laughs and smiles with him as he makes the scary thing she's been dealing with into something fun, something they can laugh about. The together line gets repeated in the most recent episode, directly calling back to this scene as well.

Like, just...AGH. In Cabin Fever he says it once as they're falling and a second time once they're grounded. The second time its a question, and one she eagerly answers with physical affection, which is super rare for her. In Mass Destruction its a statement, because he already knows her answer. Its a repeated promise. A vow.

Backing up again. Let's assess some interactions under this context. Assuming they're dating in secret. Because it paints so many things in a different light and basically nothing contradicts it which is fricken wild. This:

Isn't a sheepish Uzi trying to hold her crush's hand in a moment of fear. This is an Uzi who wants to keep their relationship a secret but is so in need of comfort right now she's willing to risk exposing them to get it.

This:

Her being so relieved because she almost watched him die but he's alive he's ok and she doesn't care who sees it because she needs to hug her boyfriend rIGHT NOW GUYS I DON'T CARE I'M HUGGING MY BOYFRIEND-

This whole scene. Uzi interacts with him so gently here. She's not gentle with anybody else at all. She sees him stressed and uses his own "you good?" on him and it's just so dang tender when you think about it. Because no one else can hear them talking to each other. It's just these two sending face texts and everyone else's focus is on the Sentinal so they can afford to be as couple-y in this conversation as they want.

And after:

Blushing because they like each other so so dang much.......sweating bullets because the other two can see them do this. Suddenly without either of them really thinking about it they're being romantic around other people and wow! That's nerve-wracking! Peak young love early-in-the-relationship behavior they ain't slick.

His tone of voice in this scene is gentler I think than we've ever heard from him before (Michael Kovach you are so damn good at your job). His loss-filled fury is cooled in an instant when he realizes how close he came to hurting his girlfriend. It's heartbreakingly gentle before 'Tessa' cuts him off.

And when she cuts Uzi off:

He looks like genuinely pissed at her. "Did you really just interrupt my gf while she was talking?? She's scared and you're disrespecting her tf is wrong with u??"

And like- the fact he was genuinely willing to off Tessa for her. Like he realizes there's a possibility she tried to get his gf killed for no reason and upon her not even trying to deny it he just kills her instantly. Because it's no longer a question of the universe or Uzi. It's a question of Tessa or Uzi, and its a choice his heart has already made before this point.

But here's like. The thing about all this that gets me. This is meant to be a secret relationship, right? Like nobody but them is supposed to know about this. And the fact that we the audience didn't have any reason to assume them to be an established relationship without heavy headcanoning means they did a decent job at that, right?

Guys. Guys.

N is terrible at keeping secrets. Like. Horrendously bad at keeping things on the down-low. Every single time in the series he's supposed to not spill info he like. Fails. It's wild. And because the relationship happens after "Inclusive reflexes!" that means that Uzi damn well knows this and still trusts him to try.

But based on V's reaction to the handholding in Dead End:

I'm honestly willing to bet she knew. She doesn't sound surprised, just annoyed that she has to see it. Which means N probably like, heard her badmouthing Uzi or something and got like way too defensive about it and she clocked him instantly. Because he's bad at keeping secrets. And she doesn't bother mentioning it during any of these episodes out loud because she doesn't care what these idiots do in their free time.

Can you imagine how many hundred close calls they must've had? How many times Uzi must've had to aggressively shush him or cover his mouth because he was going to say something slightly too sappy in public? The only reason we don't get to see the time period between eps 4 and 5 is because it would've been painfully obvious that these two dating is the worst kept secret in the entire bunker. I'm going insane.

Uzi fell in love with a proud himbo and they both know it. It's genuinely a miracle they didn't clue the audience in sooner.

#Murder Drones #Murder Drones Spoilers #md N #md Uzi #Uzi Doorman #Nuzi #Biscuitbites #Listen!! I'm feral and I site my sources!!!#This is a hill I'm willing to die on. And then I will rise to keep talking #I miss doing posts like this. I have so so much to say always #Me when I hyperfixate to the point of essays. Oops. Glad I can read

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buddiebeginz · 2 months

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Since I'm still seeing posts where people are saying Buck wanted Tommy's attention in 7x04 I thought I would do a break down of the episode. Cause the entire thing was about how Buck wanted Eddie's attention full stop and I'm baffled that some of you missed that it wasn't exactly subtle:

This is going to be a long post with gifs so I'll put it under the cut

First there was the mansion call. (I know some might say this scene is different because it was meant to be a part of episode 7x05. Doesn't matter they changed the order so it's canon for this ep and so Buck's behavior in it is relevant).

Buck trying to get Eddie's attention with the random facts he knows and also because he knows no one listens and appreciates that stuff about him like Eddie:

Buck glued to Eddie's side the whole call.

Buck also not showing any interest in the ladies from the Bachelor while he's standing with Eddie.

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Then you have the scene at the hanger:

Here's the thing I do believe Buck has an attraction to Tommy and is interested in him but the main draw Buck has to Tommy is because of the multiple similarities Tommy has to Eddie. The show was practically putting a neon sign above Eddie and Tommy multiple times saying that Tommy is a mirror of Eddie.

I'd also like to point out that maybe it was just me but Tommy didn't seem all that interested in Buck throughout this scene or really any scene until the last one. Now yeah he could have been being cautious because he didn't know if Buck was into guys but I honestly got the vibe he was into Eddie. I can't help but wonder if he was trying to get with Eddie and then maybe in Vegas Eddie told him he was straight (not that he is) or maybe Eddie just told him he has a beard girlfriend. No one can convince me otherwise that Tommy doesn't think there's something between Eddie and Buck. I 100% believe all Eddie did was talk about Buck when they hung out and Buck did the same thing right up until Tommy kissed him. That whole "my attention" line was very telling. Tommy you're gonna get your heart broken but I get it dude Buck is hot.

So anyway Buck goes for a tour and unsurprisingly he brings up Eddie before Eddie ever shows up. And while yeah it's him responding to Tommy saying he was in the army it just feels like a partner moment. Like yeah no way my boyfriend was in the army. Buck talking about Eddie is as second nature as someone talking about their spouse. They're such an integrated part of their life that they don't even realize how much they talk about each other. It'll be interesting to see if Buck does the same thing when he's on his date with Tommy too.

Then Eddie shows up and if you watch Buck the whole scene once Eddie arrives he's almost exclusively watching Eddie.

(watching Eddie walk away)

Here's the difference btw in one of the few times he looks at tommy (when Tommy speaks) after Eddie show up 👇

Then at the end you have Buck make this face:

Which I think isn't so much about feeling left out as it is seeing how happy Eddie is and knowing he's not the one making him happy. Although I don't think Buck is consciously processing all of that right now but I definitely think that was a big part of it.

I think in this whole scene what's going on in Buck's head is this: 1. surprise that Eddie is there because he didn't expect him 2. Why didn't Eddie tell me he was hanging out with Tommy (I usually know everything going on with Eddie). 3. Trying to understand what he's feeling when he sees Eddie and Tommy together. 4. Feeling confused about everything. 5. Jealous that Eddie is going off with someone who isn't him but not really understanding that's what it is.

I get some people might watch that scene and say well Buck was essentially asking Tommy out on a date and then Eddie showed up an took off with him so he must be jealous that Eddie is getting to spend time with Tommy. Buck obviously has an attraction to Tommy but the person he really wants and wants to spend time with is Eddie this is further highlighted by the next scene we see them in when Buck keeps getting more and more upset over hearing about how Eddie is doing things he enjoys with someone who isn't Buck. But also in how Buck acted while at the at the hanger. He wasn't focused on Tommy. I mean have you ever been crushing on someone when they're in the room it's like no one else is. The person who Buck couldn't take his eyes off of was Eddie.

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Next we have the sewer rescue scene with Ravi. (We really need more Ravi and Buddie scenes btw I love them together) We have Buddie working together as per usual. Highlighting like in the Bachelor scene how well they work together which they always do.

You have Buck telling the story from the pilot about when he saved that baby in the wall and Eddie smiling fondly like a typical spouse who has heard that story a million times.

While they're working Buck is spending the whole call trying to find out what Eddie was up to when he went to Vegas.

Buck is asking a million questions which implies that Eddie hasn't told him yet about the trip. This goes back to the helicopter scene where Buck didn't know Eddie was spending time with Tommy and is really starting to feel left out. Again this isn't really about Tommy or Buck feeling like he's missing out on spending time with Tommy it's Buck feeling like he's missing out on Eddie's life.

Buck calls out the similarities between Eddie and Tommy

Although he's still clueless that this is what is primarily causing him to be drawn to Tommy. More than anything this was for the audience to again say in case you didn't catch it by now Tommy is like Eddie. They want to keep reminding us of this before the kiss so we know Buck is going to date someone who is like his best friend.

Also want to point out that while Buck is talking about Tommy to Eddie the camera shakes at points so we feel Buck's nerves. He's nervous to hear what Eddie has to say about Tommy.

Also the whole conversation about "naked men pummeling each other" and Eddie saying that he was wrestling with Tommy. Like I'm sorry but not one ounce of that convo felt heterosexual.

I've seen someone say that Buck's jealousy must have been about Tommy because Buck isn't even interested in the things Eddie and Tommy were doing together like Muay Thai and basketball etc but you can hear/see Buck getting more and more hurt as he and Eddie talk because Eddie is sharing parts of himself with someone else.

I feel like there's multiple reasons why Eddie and Buck haven't been spending as much time together. I mean yeah Eddie made a new friend but for the longest time it's been BuckandEddie like peas in a pod in work and outside. But I think the end of season six played a role in some of that changing

At the end of last season they were both dating someone else and they had both gone through some major trauma with Buck literally dying for 3+ minutes. We know that seriously affected Buck but the show didn't touch on how I know it must have affected Eddie. If you watch the scene (from 7x01) where Buck talks to Chris and we see Eddie's reaction in the hall when Chris talks about how everyone leaves. I can't help but think Buck's brush with death made Eddie think of Shannon and how scared he is to lose another person he loves or worse put Chris through that.

Not to mention what Buck said in the cemetery how he felt like Natalia this woman he had known for less than a minute saw him better than anyone. I feel like all of that combined made Eddie distance himself a little even if he wasn't doing it totally consciously.

There's also the fact that I think Buck has kind of taken Eddie for granted a little. We find out later in the ep that Eddie had asked Buck to play basketball with him many times but he'd always turned him down. I also got the impression in this ep that Eddie has all these hobbies that he was sharing with Tommy when he would have rather been doing them with Buck (he was so excited when Buck showed up on the basketball court).

And I'm not saying Buck doesn't love Eddie or hasn't tried hard to be there for Eddie and Chris over the years but it's something that happens in relationships sometimes. You think the person is always going to be there and you get distracted with life stuff.

This combined with things Oliver has been saying in interviews about how Buck is going to have to put in work for his next relationship. How Buck has always gotten whatever person he wanted mostly and I can't help but wonder if that's going to play a role in how Buddie is developed. Is Buck going to have to prove to Eddie how much he means to him?

This part of the scene if no other really lets you know it's about Eddie and not Tommy. We can see how Buck is looking at Eddie when he says I do I really do and we feel all these intense emotions from him more than would make sense for the brief amount of time he's known Tommy. He's clearly thinking of when he met Eddie.

These are really just the baby steps of Buck recognizing how deeply he feels for Eddie. Because right here he's thinking that he thought their connection and place in each other's lives was special and unique to every one else they knew but then he hears Eddie talk like that and thinks maybe he was the only one who felt that way. Maybe he's easily replaced in Eddie's life.

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So Buck goes to talk about his feelings on everything with Maddie. Tbh I wasn't thrilled with how they did the Buck and Maddie scenes in this ep. Though I do think we're going to get more of a heart to heart with the two of them in future eps when Buck officially comes out. I just feel like Buck needed someone to really listen to him and Maddie was a little dismissive both times he talked to her. I also really want someone to try to ask Buck about his feelings for Eddie.

It's kind of crazy to me how no one in the 118 has ever really brought up the fact of how close Buck and Eddie are. Maddie has said the whole "boy crush" thing and that elf mistook them for being married but what I mean is you know the 118 sees how they are. Look at when Eddie was shot. It was assumed automatically that Buck was going to be the one to talk to Chris because they knew how close Buck and Eddie are and how they're essentially raising Chris together. This is how people talk about someone's spouse not just their friend.

Back to the convo with Maddie

Buck is complaining to Maddie about Eddie and Tommy. His feelings in that scene don't come across like he's unaware of some attraction he has to Tommy or like he's trying to hide feelings for him. He comes across as hurt, and frustrated, and confused that this new person has moved in on his place in Eddie and Chris' life.

Again I'm not saying Buck doesn't have an attraction to Tommy but I do think Tommy is a distraction more than anything. I think Buck is focusing on him rather than looking at the entire situation. Instead of asking himself why does it matter if your friend has a new friend? Why does it matter if Eddie spends time with new people? Why does it matter if Eddie shares parts of himself with someone else parts he might not be sharing with you?

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Then of course there's the gym scene at the firehouse. I've seen people say Buck thought Eddie was on the phone with Tommy. And maybe he did. But you expect me to believe he was upset and jealous over Tommy and because Eddie was getting to talk to him and his way of dealing with that was to try and get Eddie's attention through lifting weights and pointing his dick at him. o_o

Literally sitting up in the middle of lifting weights so he can see if Eddie is looking over at him.

Nothing about this scene is telling the audience that Buck is thinking about Tommy. It's saying he wants Eddie's attention.

This scene is actually very similar to what happened at the hanger

Buck saw Eddie looking incredibly happy and he wasn't the one making him happy. Eddie also wasn't sharing what's been going on in his life with Buck. Buck felt shut out and ignored from the one person who he's been the closet with for years. Even when they've had girlfriends it's clear Buck and Eddie have been close and connected in ways they never were with anyone else. Buck is scared he's losing that.

If the show wanted us to believe that the scene was about Buck and Tommy and Buck's growing attraction to Tommy there are so many different things they could have done to highlight that. Have Tommy ask Eddie about Buck (if that even was who Eddie was talking to) and have Eddie tell Buck he was talking to Tommy maybe direct a question from Tommy to Buck. They also at the least could have said that's who Eddie was talking to and they didn't even do that. They could have had Buck ask Eddie hey is that Tommy? But they didn't because the scene wasn't really about Tommy it's about Buck's feelings for Eddie that he still hasn't fully come to terms with yet.

Buck buys a basketball literally has it sent to the firehouse so Eddie can see him with it and hopefully ask him to go play basketball with him. Because remember he's feeling left out of Eddie's life. It's not like he asked Tommy to play basketball or asks Eddie if he can go with him to the court in hopes of seeing Tommy. No he wants Eddie to invite him. He wants to know Eddie wants him there.

Watch how Buck acts even when he's opening the basketball. He's trying to do it quickly and even while he's doing that he's looking over to Eddie to try and get his attention.

Also someone on twitter pointed out that in season 3 it was shown in Buck's loft that he already had a ball. My head canon is that he still has that ball and the lunatic that he is he just bought a whole new one and had it sent to the firehouse so eddie would see him with it. 🤦‍♀️

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Next is the infamous basketball court scene where I knew the minute I heard "basketball beard" and playing with the boys and other Top Gun references that canon bi Buck was a go.

Similar to the hanger scene Buck's attention is almost exclusively on Eddie through the whole scene.

Oh I'd also like to point out that both times that Eddie was with Tommy in this ep he was wearing sunglasses particularly when the two of them were side by side. I feel like it's the shows way of saying that Buck is not seeing Eddie right now and he's not connecting with his true feelings for Eddie.

I know Oliver is good at basketball but I couldn't help but laugh when they included that shot of him spinning the ball. Like we're meant to believe Buck doesn't play how did he learn to do that 🤦‍♀️

If the basketball scene had really been about Buck wanting Tommy's attention or being jealous that Eddie was getting Tommy's attention Buck wouldn't have been spending the entire time trying to get Eddie's attention. He also would have been competing with Eddie for Tommy's attention and he wasn't he was trying to get Eddie to notice him because he felt like all Eddie was doing was focusing on Tommy.

You can watch Buck get progressively more upset through the game as he feels like Eddie is competing against him and partnering with someone else when for so long that's been his role on and off the court. It's been Buddie against the world.

Also there's a moment when Buck runs into Tommy but the show never plays it as some kind of moment between the two. I mean they had more of a moment on the boat after the cruise ship when Buck patted Tommy's shoulder. But like according to some this is supposed to be the episode Buck is all into Tommy but that's just not present most of the episode.

Buck immediately knows he's fucked up after Eddie is hurt. I've seen people say why wasn't he running to help him but I've been in a similar situation like that where you're so stunned that you did something to cause someone you cared about to be hurt you can't even move.

Then as soon as Buck wants to try and help Tommy swoops in and says he'll take Eddie to the hospital. Taking care of Eddie has been Buck's job for a long long time. Think about how he saved Eddie during the shooting and took care of him and Chris. Also he took care of them during Eddie's mental health crisis. Buck is feeling like Eddie doesn't need him anymore.

Here's another thing I want to bring up about the basketball scene. Like I keep saying people have said that a lot of Buck's motivations in this ep were about Tommy. I'm sorry but you don't have those kind of strong emotions over someone you just met. Even if his emotions were that he had a crush on Tommy and felt like Eddie was taking all Tommy's time away. If Buck behaved that way from a simple crush on a guy he barely knew I would think he'd lost his mind. No he reacted the way he did because all of these feelings (that he's just now scratching the surface of dealing with) are connected to Eddie someone who means everything to him.

Remember too that Oliver said in his interviews that Buck doesn't even know why he's jealous or who or what it's about. Which is why I think even by the end of the episode when Buck thinks he's figured some things out there's still a lot he's missing.

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The second Maddie scene

I definitely agree with what others have said that unfortunately Maddie's words here only served to further confuse Buck. What he was feeling was not just being left out and excluded from this friend but mostly jealous over a man he loves being all excited to spend so much time with someone else. Buck was jealous and scared of someone taking his place in Eddie's life and doesn't really know how to process that.

Oh and for people who say he wasn't jealous over Eddie he literally says he was to Maddie.

Buck admits he was trying to get Eddie's attention which like I said in the basketball scene you can see because Eddie is all Buck is focused on.

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Then of course we have the end scene with Buck and Tommy.

First we get the opening shot where Buck answers the door. And before he even answers we the audience are made to think it's going to be Eddie and made to think Buck also thinks it's going to be Eddie. Because all of the tension that's been between them in the ep hasn't been resolved and Buck hasn't talked about how he's been feeling to Eddie at all. So we're left waiting for that resolution.

Instead however when Buck opens the door it's Tommy

One thing I didn't mention earlier was that the show has made it a point to have Tommy only call Buck Evan. I've seen a number of theories people have for why this is, personally I think it's a reminder to the audience that Tommy for all his similarities isn't Eddie. Like they give us all these signs that say look Eddie and Tommy are so much the same but everytime you hear Tommy say Evan so casually like that you remember they're different.

Eddie who knows the real Buck only ever calls him that and it's only on the rare serious occasion does he use Buck's real name. Maddie is similar. It's like when Ana called Eddie Edmundo. These people have an idea of who Buck and Eddie are but they they don't know all the little intricate pieces that's something Buck and Eddie only have with one another.

So Buck is smiling and laughing (somewhat out of embarrassment for how he behaved on the basketball court) but watch his body language at even the mention of someone replacing him in Eddie's life:

I find it extremely foreshadowing of what's to come with Buddie that the show chose to have Tommy and Buck spend most of the time before their first kiss even right down to the seconds before it talking about Eddie and even talked about him afterwards. I mean if you didn't want your audience shipping a ship or giving them hope it was going to happen would you do that?

Buck not only talks about Eddie before the kiss he talks about how great he is and brings up memories of their past. Almost like someone talking about an ex they're still in love with. Like you're trying to move on but you can't help what your heart wants.

Like I said above I fully believe that when Tommy said "my attention" he knew that Buck is all about Eddie. Buck's response being "I guess" is even more telling because it shows his confusion. I definitely think that when Buck and Tommy break up (or however far they get in their dating) that we'll get some kind of confirmation that Tommy always knew Buck and Eddie were in love.

I think a lot of the stuff Buck talks about in this scene is him trying in the moment to make sense of the confusing way he's been feeling. I do think he's attracted to and likes Tommy but there is also a whole host of other feelings he has that really were the main motivating factors into why he acted the way he did in this episode.

The last time Buck was with someone and there was an I love you it was with Taylor and it was like Buck just went along in that relationship because he felt like he was supposed to. Buck and Eddie are similar in that way. They have this amazing love and bond with one another but there's a reason besides the fact that they're both guys that they keep avoiding really confronting their feelings. They're scared. They're scared to loose what they have. They're scared to change it. They're scared of fucking it up like they believe they have their past relationships. Scared of so many things. So they just kind of side step it at every turn.

The show mentioning Eddie right before the scene ends is one of the biggest indicators that this is all leading to Buddie.

If the episode was really just a misdirect where Buck was really into Tommy all along they wouldn't have made the last scene so Eddie heavy and especially not the last bit of dialogue about Eddie. The last few lines are what you're leaving the audience with until the next episode and the words they left us with are about Eddie (and Buck) so we're meant to focus on them.

If you read all this thank you ❤️. This post took me forever (which would be why it's getting posted a full week after the ep >_< ) please reblog if you like it. Can't wait for the ep tonight.

#buddie #911 meta #911 7x04 #911!#long post #911 s7 #buddie s7 #b*ck t*mmy for bl

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wen-kexing-apologist · 5 months

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Top 5 platonic friendship moments

Thank you SO much for asking me this, I love friendship!!!!

Nick and Sand Kissing in Only Friends, Ep. 9

gif by @aprilblossomgirl

I know you have your thoughts on Only Friends at this point because of how it ended, but there were a lot of things I do think Only Friends got right, one of my favorites being the platonic make out session between Nick and Sand. I mean, we talked about this before. It felt so queer, and it also did a really great job showing the difference between platonic and romantic feelings, because the kiss gave us nothing, and did the same for Team Second Option. I will forever love the fact that they made out, giggled, cuddled, and then giggled some more about it because it was kinda awkward and a little embarrassing, but they love each other as friends and that kiss changed literally nothing about their dynamic.

Porjai giving Mhok a Massage in Last Twilight, Ep 6

gif by @khaopybara

I like that some of the shows this year are starting to get in to the relationship dynamics of exes who stayed friends after. Like, listen, I've never been in a relationship before, and I know why it does happen where exes never really speak again, but it never made sense to me why 99% of the ex-partner relationship dynamics I've ever seen are bad. Like, this is a person who matter so much to you, and then you're just never going to see them or talk to them again? I love this massage moment that Porjai has with Mhok especially because it feels familial and familiar and friendly, and it is the scene that made me be like "man I can't believe they used to date" in exactly the same way that Porjai was confused when Day called Mhok her boyfriend.

Wataru Being a Little Shit on Shiro's Birthday in What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2, Ep. 7

Wataru is such a little shit, and I love him desperately, and his whole relationship with Shiro and Kenji is so strange. He's such a complainer, and while it can feel like the four gay men in this show hang out and are friends because they are the only gay people they know, it is moments like these that sell their actual friendship for me. Sending your friend a bouquet with a MASSIVE 50 balloon in it because you know it'll piss them off is pique best friend behavior.

Gay Boy Cuddle Pile in A Boss and a Babe, Ep. 9

gif by @paisky

I am not immune to a gay boy cuddle pile. I will never be immune to a gay boy cuddle pile.

Having had multiple conversations with a straight male friend about how much cis men lack platonic, physical touch from friends I now get emo about when boys hug, cuddle, kiss cheeks, hold hands with each other especially if they are not dating or hoping to date.

Rose Trying to Steal Charn's Phone in Laws of Attraction, Ep. 4

gif by @panncakes

It's such sibling energy, and I love it so much. As an immature adult, I love when adultier adults than me are shown being childish/immature themselves. No one should be expected to be put together all the time, and I moments like these show such a beautiful form of love.

and cause Laws of Attraction is technically a lakorn...

Sailom and Yiwa in the entirety of Wedding Plan

They love each other so much they were going to enter a Lavendar Marriage just so that Yiwa especially could be free. I can't say much about them because if I start talking about them I won't stop. But it is by far the most sacred form of platonic love we've had all year.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

#ask game #best of bl 2023 #only friends the series #ofts #last twilight the series #what did you eat yesterday?#kinou nani tabeta?#a boss and a babe #abaab #laws of attraction #wedding plan the series

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matan4il · 16 days

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911 ep 709 first watch reactions

The way this ep starts with giving us a clear shot focused on the front, solely on Buck sitting between the man he's dating and the man he's been married to for the past six years, and only on them. XD I'm here for it.

Oh, Bobby. :( Feeling unworthy of his medal, and remembering his dad, and how everything went wrong after he got it. </3

Aaaah. Man, IDK. The openly and explicitly homophobic and racist captain cartoon just feels like an easy target now. Prejudice doesn't seem like it mostly gets expressed that way anymore, and when we only teach people to reject that kind, we not only fail to teach them to recognize subtler forms, we may be misleading them to think those more nuanced ones don't count.

Love Athena trying to "save" Bobby by contacting Amir. I'm always a sucker for a couple where they both save each other.

I enjoyed the little play with "Mother Hen," and I know it's not specifically about Buddie, but it is damn funny that when she's told she's raising more kids, they're the ones the camera focuses on. lol Raising a kid together for 6 years, still a couple of morons in desperate need of parenting from their colleagues. Even when Bobby's "wordless goodbye" moment with Buck is letting him cook for the 118, Eddie's by his side and they're doing it together. I swear, 911 said, "Take note, this is what a marriage looks like" and then just kept hammering the point for 6 seasons now.

Okay, I am pretty sure that, while Bobby's acceptance of Buck's first relationship with a guy, is really lovely, "Because we haven't had to talk about it" is not an actual good criterion for discerning whether someone is good for their partner or not. People whose spouses are abusive don't talk about it, either. :/ I am NOT saying that's Buck and Tommy, because it obviously isn't, it just feels like a line thrown in there to be cutesy, but which isn't actually helpful to people, who might take it too seriously.

I AM GONNA LOL FOREVER. So, just like Buck's bi awakening was all about Eddie, now Eddie's messed up whatever he has with Kim is gonna involve Buck, too? Gotcha. Battlefield boyfriends being off-battlefield boyfriends once more.

So... Buck was going to see Tommy, in an ep where TPTB have already paid for Lou in the role, so might as well use him as much as possible, but instead a non-emergency run in with Eddie's current whatever-Kim-is makes Buck ditch Tommy, and run straight over to Eddie's to help him? Look, I'm obviously a One True Pairing kind of shipper, so Buddie are it for me, as much as I can enjoy and see the value of Buck and Tommy as a stepping stone, and nothing will make me stop shipping Buddie (especially not after the tsunami eps), but 911 is feeding me way too well with how it frames these scenes and stories, I don't think the show's trying to get me to stop.

Man, if anyone's ever had a doubt that Eddie is the world champion at denial, this kitchen scene will def cure that.

"I'm worried about you." "Yeah, I'm worried about me, too." And then Buck, the one person who can ALWAYS penetrate through Eddie's denial wall, no matter how thick it is.

Eh, IDK how much the part where they try to re-define Shannon as the love of Eddie's life works, or how much it just serves to show he's still in denial, just a different kind than before, when Buck got through to him that he can't go on like this with Kim. For one thing, in his little retelling of their dysfunctional r/s, Eddie doesn't mention that Shannon was leaving him a second time, even before she died. Literal denial and repression.

So I'm gonna choose to believe Hen and Karen will get Mara back, because I can't deal with that particular storyline otherwise.

Kim's reaction is too deranged for me. Who does something like that, even if we assume the kindest of intentions? And then Marisol and Christopher's timing... I didn't sign on to watch a soap opera, but I guess I'm getting one free of charge?

"Now you gotta save yourself." If that ain't a painful summary of what growing up means, IDK what is. the conversation with Bobby's dad in his sleep was a good, painful scene, built right, leading to him hopefully getting his closure through saving his wife from a fire, and leaving us with just the right amount of suspension for next week and the season finale, where we'll see if he can let go of his past mistakes without a doppelganger dressing up like his dead wife...

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

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lenaboskow · 12 days

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If you truly believe that Tommy hasn't changed, why would Chim and Hen keep hanging out with him (Bobby Begins Again)? Also, there's the fact that Tommy, for the most part, wasn't an instigator. Rather, he tried to keep to himself and not be involved. It's clearly a shitty thing but no uncommon, especially in toxic work environments. Was he dickish? Sure, would Chim think highly of somone openly racist? Based on the latest episode (spoiler: his interaction with Gerrard) he clearly uses the words "good to see you haven't changed" which I think it's intentional to show that Tommy (unlike Gerrard) changed.

You're entitled to your opinion, and you can also hate Tommy for no reason. No one is going to force you. I think saying you just hate him for no reason would be better than trying to build a narrative that the show clearly disputes. Last but not least, Lou giving his headcanons for the character he portrays isn't that uncommon. In fact, many actors do, and it helps them get more into character.

lol i wasn't going to answer this but then i read the "wasn't an instigator" line and i just had to. let's take a look at some of the things tommy said or did in the begins eps...

in chimney begins, he starts by saying "did you forget to tip the delivery driver?" though not explicitly stated, it's implied to be racially motivated because they had ordered chinese food, and chimney is asian. then he proceeds to actively participate in the isolation, once saying "you still here?" to chimney as they return to a call. the most notable time is during the locker room scene where chimney is trying to reach out an olive branch, and tommy actively pushes it away, saying he doesn't think about chimney enough to hate him, but if he did he was sure he would. the only time chimney gets a semblance of an apology is after he saves tommy's life, and that's a messed up way of thinking, no matter how you spin it.

then, we have hen begins. oh boy. gerrard makes comments to hen, and chimney stands up for her, while tommy is standing by letting it happen (this isn't instigating, but it's a notable mention). then, we have "new york bitchiness is a compliment?" which, wow okay. that entire meal he participated in the conversation while chimney tried to drive it away. finally, i know a lot of people think tommy was the one to turn gerrard in, but the way he looked pissed off in hen's speech at the end, and the way he looked like he didn't want to apologize makes me think otherwise.

i don't know what happened off screen for hen and chimney to be friends (or at least civil) with him now, but i do know that recent events have shown tommy is still the same dickish (your words) person he was in the begins episodes, this time without the racist and sexist undertones. some examples include, but are not limited to:

calling buck "kid" and telling him in a condescending tone that eddie was allowed to have more than one friend

the closet comment

leaving buck at the curb the way he did

the bachelor party

the way he acted at the ceremony (looking like he was waiting for buck to stop talking and "enjoy it while it lasts)

so i think it's safe to say i'm not just "building a narrative". the show is proving that tommy is still the same person he was before, he just toned it down.

finally, i'm not even going to touch lou because that story is rapidly developing and i can't keep up.

#911 spoilers #911 #911 on abc #911 abc #anti tommy kinard

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otomotoelzhinee · 6 months

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This might be their sweetest moment so far.

But, I can't say it feels deserved? At least, from what I gathered. This change of heart comes out of nowhere. I think it's incredible seeing Shrike try and show interest into something that Beebs enjoys. Not only that, he's getting to enjoy it himself as well. Something as simple as playing the guitar, only because he probably saw Beebs doing it and he decided he wanted to do it too, cause it's cool to him! But it also means something to Beebs, and Shrike was able to pick up on that, so he offered a time for the two of them to continue playing together. Shrike's shown to have little care for others so far. When the Lythops were murdered, he was shocked, but he was able to dismiss that part entirely the moment his ship got wrecked. As he said, that's when it became personal. He didn't care about the genocide he just witnessed anymore, that was secondary, if even a concern at this point. Beebs, however, as little as time as he had with the creatures-- Who he barely interacted with compared to Shrike, is haunted by this.

And Shrike dismisses these feelings, unintentionally perhaps, but he's still avoiding them. Despite the fact that, deep down, he does feel some remorse. But it's unclear if it's for this particular incident, or something else entirely.

I feel like it's just the subject of "regrets" that gets to him, rather than him feeling any consequences from leaving Punti and letting his family be turned to paste.

But regardless, although he doesn't care much, that doesn't mean he does not care at all for other people, nor is he "incapable" of caring. There's things he wishes he could take back, just like Beebs. How they cope with this, however, is entirely different. But I don't think this disagreement is used at all for this ep. You could argue it's because this episode is not about them, or Shrike, but about Beebs.

Beebs finding his own way to come to terms with what's happened, about his own regrets he isn't ready to speak of, perhaps accepting them, or allowing the possibility to accept, in some capacity. But not letting these stop him from continuing to seek out to do things right, not letting these regrets cloud his vision, prohibiting himself from caring anymore.

That's a sweet and incredibly powerful step to make, to continue to choose to be kind, to choose to love, no matter how many times it has hurt. To continue to lose people around you and still finding meaning in connections with others, no matter how brief.

It's a direct parallel to what Shrike is doing. Isolating these feelings from everyone, not confronting them, brushing them aside. "Things happen and there's nothing anyone can do about it, so why bother." It feels like this should've brought up a conflict of sorts between the two. But, it never does. The last segment should wrap this aspect about their relationship, at least for this episode. It should be the two of them agreeing there's things they don't want to talk about, Beebs choosing to give Shrike another chance. Even if they can't see things the same way, Beebs still trusts Shrike, he chooses to. He's seen he's not as cold as he wants to make himself out to be, and therefore chooses to spend part of his time with him, to get to know him. He's his friend, and there's so little they know about eachother, he wants to change that. Shrike, on a similar note, is incredibly excited to get to gush about one of his many terran interests. But he's always done that with Beebs, he's always given him the attention. This time, he wants to return the favor. But I'm only left wondering why. After their conversation on the bridge, Shrike is too busy bickering with Scratch and gushing over Terran stuff to have any more interactions with Beebs. During the rest of the epiosde, nobody but Beebs knows what's happening, and Shrike isn't the least bit concerned. Not even for the state of Beebs' hand.

So what made him change his mind? Why does now he care if he's bothering Beebs or not with his show?Maybe out of courtesy, because of what they just went through, to "give him a break". But that feels a bit too considerate of Shrike at this moment. It feels like I just missed a key scene that was meant to bring these issues to light, and them finding a solution to help the Agari. When Beebs can't play anymore, it should've been the moment where Beebs gets a true glimpse of who Shrike really is, the moment where he has to relay on him, unwillingly putting his trust in him to make things right in such a tense moment. But then realizes-- he can trust Shrike.

Shrike notices how nervous Beebs really is, that his arm has failed him, and all he wants is to play his guitar?! No, something else is going on, something Beebs can't explain at the moment but it means everything to him right now. And Shrike chooses to trust him and aid him. Friendship! It would've made more sense then, for Beebs to look at Shrike and say "We're getting there" when the Agari asked him if he had found his way yet.

It would've made this last interaction between Shrike n Beebs watching cartoons all the more powerful. Without a real disagreement, without a small conflict between the two. It's still a sweet moment... But it almost feels empty, there's no resolution behind it, no real meaning. It's just a "small bonding moment", and after everything that went down, it doesn't feel like that was the point.

I've rewatched this ep for a bit and, although I loved everything we got lorewise, and getting to see Beebs be the focus-- I don't think the emotional impact hit as hard as it wanted. I wish I could say I cared for the Agari as much as I did for the Lythops in a single episode, but I didn't. I wish I could say Beebs going from "He's my friend…Or something" to staring into the possibility of considering Shrike an actual friend, got to me. But, it didn't feel like anything happened to defy that in the first place.

So, what changed?

#MW spoilers #Otomo talks #Monkey Wrench

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miss0atae · 22 days

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Ming’s coercive control in My Stand-In (Ep 4)

First of all, and before saying anything else, I also wanted to say, I don’t know anything about psychology and I may make mistakes in this post when using some terms. If you know a better way of saying it, don’t hesitate to tell me. I’m still learning everyday.

The return of the prodigal son ! Ming was not too nice in episode 3, but he wasn't at his prime. In this episode we saw again how he is trying to regain the control in his relationship with Joe. Unfortunately, he lost it by the end of episode 3 when he drunkenly admitted his feelings for Tong to Joe, breaking up the poor man's heart at the same time. Joe decided to break up with Ming because of it.

However, Ming doesn't want to accept it and he decided to go to his workplace to threaten him. Ming has decided he is not going to listen to what Joe has to say because he must decide. He made his decision and he is going to stay with him, no matter what.

Firstly, he is using emotional blackmail again, by telling Joe it was his idea to ask him to move in and telling him now to move out, isn't really nice. His idea here is to put the guilt in Joe. The guilt trip was already used in episode 2.

When Joe didn't let him do it like he previously did, you can see how Ming felt cornered. Joe knows about Ming's crush for Tong and he wanted him to understand he is not a second choice. He tried to make Ming see how Tong will not be with him. Ming reacted with explosive anger and told him it's his personal stuff. Let's not forget in episode 2 how he told Joe that one of the two conditions to be together was that they never mess with each other's privacy. In this episode, he wanted to dismiss Joe's accusation by reminding him of this.

However, this time it didn't work because Joe was set on stopping this relationship. So Ming again used threat to force Joe outside of the workplace and make him go back in the house where he can persuade him more easily. The evidence being that in Joe's work there are too many people who can intervene, such as Sol or Wut.

When Joe came back home, he tried to use verbal abuse. It is shown in a delivery of a statement intended to frighten him when he told Joe, he will never find a better boyfriend.

Since it didn't get him what he wanted, he tried a form of positive reinforcement. Ming apologizes and showed a vulnerability he always tried to hide. He asked Joe to start again so they can go back to what they were before Joe asked for a break up. He wanted to bring back the memories of their “happy time” and he also did some love bombing by asking him about this love Joe has for him. This time Ming got close to Joe and hugged him. The intimate embrace is also a way of showing what he wants to get again from Joe.

But when everything failed, Ming decided he can use physical aggression and lock Joe. I'm amazed about how he did it without thinking twice. He also made sure to bring Joe somewhere else so no one would find him. Is Ming really aware of how possessive he is and how unhealthy it can be?

But in the end, it's fascinating to see how Ming can't really understand his own feeling for Joe. Does he love him or does he care for him because it's the first person who truly gives him everything, just like his sister? This is so different from what he has with Tong. It is also because he doesn't really love Tong… He idolizes him. It's this fantasy he created in his mind while Joe is real. Ming doesn't know what to do and he lost Joe before really processing all of this.

#thai bl #thai series #bl series #bl drama #my thoughts #my stand in #my stand in the series #my stand-in #about ming #episode 4 #I find him so fascinating #This duality in him makes him really intriguing #I guess it's also because the way he is portrayed by Up makes him more likeable #This is really not healthy at all

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saucymalum · 1 year

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What's This? (Consequences of my Actions) W.S

Wilbur Soot x Gn! reader (they/them pronouns)

Warning: Angst, Enemies to lovers, mentions of past death, y/n being dumb, miscommunication.

Summary: Bro idk figure it out.

Word Count: 2.6k

I always knew he hated me. He didn’t hide it. He didn’t like that I was “Invading” his friend group. That I was getting along with them. He didn’t like me. It infuriated me how he acted like he was better than me. All I wanted was to be his friend and he didn't give me a chance. I couldn't understand how he could hate me for no reason. So I gave him a reason.

I tried to annoy him everytime I could. He didn’t want me at a party so badly he would text me to not come and I’d arrive early with baked goods. He didn’t like me tweeting about his band so much that he’d intentionally be the only member not following me? I tagged them all in every tweet. I became his hell. Did I hate him? No. But I hated that he treated me like he was better. Like I was insignificant.

To the fans, I was their biggest fan. I’d cover their newest songs on my Instagram story and take pictures in their merch. Some thought I was even dating one of them, which was almost laughable. I truly loved them all. The party's welcoming environment they created pulled me in as Wilbur stood in the corner. His dark brown eyes look almost black in this light as he watches my every move. Watching me talk to everybody while he tries to keep up the small talk and savors his beer. His eyes left a burning trail down my skin. It became a game for me, how far I could push him.

I’d try to ask him questions in conversations, simply because I knew he didn’t want to talk to me. And that's when my plans started to crumble. I liked the guy. I thought he was fucking funny. Being antagonizing was so much easier when I didn’t know him. I wanted to be the asshole's friend. I kept trying to keep up my game, but I failed every time unless it was social media. It’s easy to fake things there. So I did.

I ignored my emotions, my guilt, and the rising feeling that I refused to acknowledge. I posted pictures of myself at their concerts; I posted their songs on my story. I was a good friend, but I avoided Wilbur. And at the end of the day, it didn't matter much to him if I showed up to the parties. I saw the glares he’d given me that made me want to laugh in his face. I missed not knowing him.

I started showing up early at parties and sneaking out early. I’d avoid Will even if I felt his eyes burn me. It seemed fine until he caught on.

I sat at their EP release celebration, an hour in, and I zoned out and stared at a wall. People passed by and I sat drinking my now warm beverage. Blurs of people, laughing, smiling, dancing, pass around me. I can't believe I did this to myself.

The seat beside me dips and I look to see Phil looking expectantly at me. One eyebrow raised slightly and his blonde hair messed up a bit.

"What's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?" I laugh nervously.

He sits there, giving no answer, knowing I'll break. And I do.

I spilled everything, beginning to now. Frustration pours out every word as the temperature in the room seems to rise. I don't want to be here anymore.

Phil sighs and I feel shame replacing my relief.

"Why would you do this to yourself Y/N?"

"I DIDN'T WANT THIS! I JUST WANTED THE STUPID LITTLE PRICK TO BE HUMBLED. Or at least annoyed enough to stop being a dick." my breaths shake for a second "In no universe was THIS my plan. "

I fall into the back of the couch. "What do I do?"

"Talk to him."

I groan, "I forgot you're a 'communication is key' person"

Phil lightly shoves me, "So are you until you get scared and run away. You can't run away this time. Avoiding him means avoiding us and you know that."

“I know.”

“So what do you think you need to do?” He asks softly.

I take in a deep breath and straighten my back. My eyes find Wilbur chatting up some girl in the corner. I let my feet guide me to him and without a word, too scared to speak, I grab his jacket and pull him out onto the back porch.

“What the Fuck, Y/N?”

“What is your problem with me? You refuse to talk to me, You hate my presence, and you constantly make an effort to show me you think I'm less than you. Why?”

“Maybe because you do shit like you just did without thinking about how it’d affect me.”

I scoff, “What a cop-out. You’ve hated me from the beginning. I want you to tell me why.”

He creeps further into my personal space. His height becomes increasingly harder to ignore when he looms over me. His breath fans over my face, and I want to cringe at the warmth.

“Has it ever occurred to you in your self-centered little head that not everyone likes you? You’re not some god or goddess Y/n. You grate my veins and you enjoy it. You TRIED to annoy me and you’re confused why I don’t like you? How into yourself can you be?”

Electricity pricks at my skin and the back of my eyes burn, “Don’t act like you didn’t hate me from the get-go Wilbur. I know what it feels like to be disliked.”

“Then why does it bother you so much if I don't like you? Huh? Sweet little Y/N just wants to be loved and cherished by everyone, isn't that right?” My breath shakes as the back of his hand brushes against my cheek. “Well, life doesn’t work like that. Some people will hate your grating voice and some people can't STAND your GODDAWFUL laugh. So get over it and be a fucking adult about it. Stop being a little baby.”

WARNING: description of a panic attack, stay safe and skip to the end of the trigger warning <3

He steps back and I quickly escape the cold night that suffocates me. My throat closes in on itself and my eyes water. I can’t breathe, I can’t BREATHE. I try to drag in breaths, but the effort is beyond fruitless. Through my watery eyes and past the blur and dizziness, I walk to the bathroom. I need to escape. I need to GET OUT. Everyone hates me, such a stupid baby who can’t even handle a man not liking them. How pathetic can you get? Everyone's eyes are on me. They’re laughing at me, aren’t they? I bet they are. The bathroom door’s soft close sounds like a thunderclap in my ears but that thunderclap is the most comfort I have felt since Phil and my conversation ended. My ears are ringing. I don’t know what to do.

I sink to the floor, and my back hits the cold tile, shocking my skin through my thin shirt. I've prepared for this. Ok, just find something you can smell. Ok, I can do that. My mind wanders into my negative talk, but quickly it snaps to the smell of the Febreze air freshener going off.

Good, good. One down, four more to go. I can see the design in the ceiling, that's another.

My lungs slowly feel less pressure on them. Not a semi-truck but maybe a minivan. I can hear yelling outside the door, maybe someone knocking. It's so hard to hear when I feel like I'm underwater.

I can feel the tile under my fingertips, the cold feels nice against my skin, the hot trails that the tears leave sting and I almost want to press my face into the floor to cool them.

The sweet drink still lingers on my tongue. Good, I got all five. Now breathe. It's so hard when the hiccups interrupt but I practice these exercises daily.

The weight on my chest slowly releases and the tears go dry. I'm left exhausted. I want to go home. The room goes steady and I slowly stand on shaky legs.

I avoid the mirror as I cool my hands in the water flowing in the sink and press them to my cheeks.

WARNING OVER: Stay safe, love.

The yelling outside gets clearer when I open the door, the house has been cleared away of any guests and the pounding of my heart gets louder. Phil stands in front of Wilbur yelling at him, words I barely have the energy to decipher.

“What the fuck is wrong with you right now, Wilbur? You are a grown-ass man. What the hell would possess you to think talking to someone like that was ok?” Kristin stands next to Phil. She shoots a disappointed look at Wilbur, but he ducks away.

“Oh don’t give me the disappointed parent act.” He scoffs.

Wilbur walks over to the couch, closer to me, and I press my back closer to the bathroom door that I closed.

Phil chases after him, “Well, if you didn’t act so immature, maybe I wouldn’t have to Will! What were you thinking!? You barely know her and you already decided to chase her away?”

“If she didn’t want me to hate her maybe she could have tried to not do everything I hate on purpose.”

“You gave them a panic attack! Nothing they did made them deserve that. We just want you to explain. Can you please just let us understand?”

Wilbur pauses putting on his jacket and sighs, “I’m scared, ok?”

“Of what?”

“Phil, they remind me of Lacy, and I can’t get hurt like that again.” He turns around and his eyes meet mine. Shock and remorse fill his eyes, but he brushes past me and bolts for the door.

I take a shaky breath in and look at Phil and Kristin. "Who’s Lacy?”

We sat in the living room of Phil and Kristin’s house as they tried to explain it in the most delicate way. But really, how can you explain to someone that they reminded a person they considered an enemy of their dead girlfriend? That they reminded someone they thought hated them of someone they were in love with? I didn't think I could cry anymore. I was wrong. I reminded Wilbur of a love that was ripped away from him. I hurt him by being around him.

I wanted to be mad at him. Hurt him for punishing me for something I had no part in but I couldn't.

I just wanted to go home and never leave.

And that's what I did. I stayed in bed, emotionally exhausted and numb. My self-destruction hit me like a brick, canceling my therapy appointment for the next day and turning my phone to do not disturb.

Wilbur POV:

No one had heard from Y/N in almost a week. Seeing their face when I left made me feel like I swallowed a brick. A part of me felt glad that finally, FINALLY, they would feel just a sliver of what they've made me feel for months.

But the guilt…the guilt at that thought overwhelmed my brain quickly after. What kind of person would that make me to want someone to hurt the way I have? Even if it was someone who hurt that doesn't make it ok.

This guilt led me straight to Y/N's front door. My hand hovered over the door. What was my plan when I got here? I don't think I even gave myself time to make one.

Before I could attempt to knock on the door, it swung open with the image of Y/N's dark-circled eyes staring shocked at me.

"Oh Jesus!" they exclaim and hide behind the door a bit. The wrinkles in the pyjama shirt clinging to parts of their body. A small smile creeps into the corner of my mouth at seeing them again. To see that they were at least still alive and kicking.

"I'm so sorry to just show up like this!" I step away from the door, giving them some space. "I want to check in."

Their bottom lip moves between their teeth as they chew at the loose skin. A mental debate wars on behind their eyes, no doubt wondering who asked me to come here.

"Who blackmailed you?" they ask.

A hesitant silence floats between us as I wonder if it'd be wrong to tell the truth.

A sigh passes my lips. "I felt bad."

Their eyes quickly widen again as they forget the effort to hide themself behind the door. They rush the 2 feet to me and place a hand on my arm.

"No! No, you have nothing to be sorry for! I was a goddamn asshole, Wilbur! Why didn't you slap me earlier? I was so arrogant and antagonistic towards you. I can't believe it. You did nothing but try to avoid me because you were hurting and I made it ten times harder."

"Y/N, I said horrible things to you. I felt like a villain. I never want to feel like that again. I am so sorry for talking to you like that." My shoulders sink in a subconscious effort to get down to their level. To look they straight in the eyes. To maybe show them all the emotions that I felt the moment I left Phil's house."

Y/N sighs and releases my arm from their grip. They step out of the doorway, a silent invitation. Luckily, I'm not a vampire.

"Will, what you said was true. I can't fault you for saying the truth."

How could they think that? That anything I said was true, calling them such stupid names in order to belittle them and make them feel small? What have I done?

“Nothing, and I mean nothing, I said to you was true. Yes, I was hurt and yes how you treated me didn’t help but none of it was true and keep telling you otherwise until you believe.”

They look away from my eyes to the ground, “Well, that's gonna take a while since I thought all of those things about myself long before you told me.”

A sour feeling rises in my stomach. Everything in me wants to protect them.

“Well, I’ll be here every time you doubt me.”

They scoff, “Like you’ll call me at 3 in the morning.”

“Who says I won’t” I shrug.

Their eyes glaze over with tears as they look hopefully into mine, “This isn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. I didn’t want us to hate each other.”

They turn away from me, busying themselves in front of their kettle. “I wanted to stop that stupid game months ago.”

My eyebrows wrinkle quizzically, “Then why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t admit to myself I had feelings for you.”

Their shoulders tense quickly and they spin around to me, “Not that I’m pressuring you at all, I swear. I just-I just had to let you know I didn’t want to hurt you like this.”

“But you did mean to hurt me?”

“I thought you saw me as less than you. I wanted to prove you wrong. Now I know I was the one in the wrong.”

“Y/N I thought you were amazing. I was stupid and thought if I avoided you I wouldn’t fall for you.” I step forward into their space, “I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“Did you?”

The space between our bodies shrinks til we’re breathing the same air.

“Yes,” I whisper, my hand gravitating to their hip.

“And can you handle it?”

“With you, I think I’ll be more than fine.”

#wilbur soot #wilbur soot angst #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur mcyt #wilbur x y/n #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur #mcyt x reader #mcyt fic #mcyt fanfic #mcyt x you #mcyt imagine #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x gender neutral reader #dsmp x reader #dsmp fanfic

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starlight-bread-blog · 5 months

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I Watched The First Two Episodes of Hazbin Hotel

Overall I wasn't bored. It's a fun show from the little I've seen. I have thoughts and notes I'd like to give so here's how this is gonna go:

🔵 Is for things I liked/would like to be expanded upon in the show's future.

🔴 Is for things I disliked ranging from nitpicks and just general critisisms.

Whenever something about Angel Dust's trauma I will come up, I'll mark "————" at the beginning & ending so you can avoid the topic if you'd like.

So let's dive right in!<3

🔴 I am so confused. This is narrarated by Charlie. And her goal is to redeem sinners so they can enter Heaven to save their lives. But she also knows that Heaven doesn't kill sinners to stop over-population, it's just plain evil. So, what are we doing here again?

🔴 This is the first time her relationship with her father is mentioned in the show. And it's done though a joke made by Alastor in a commercial he made. (Also, how would he know about Charlie's "daddy issues"? This isn't common knowledge as far as I know).

————

🔴 WHAT THE FUCK? I'M SORRY. WHAT THE FUCK? I hate being this negative in the beginning but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I don't want to discuss this line any more than the shock I felt while hearing it. Next.

————

🔴 Everyone already talked about how the camera work is crap and I agree. But here's an idea: If they wanted to make something grandiose, why not make a classic musical number that's completely unrealistic, and then make the reality of Hell clash with it?

🔴 This scene could be cut off mostly entirely. The point here is to show how awful Adam is, and the second the talking's over, we get a better song that does just that.

🔵 At first I was gonna make this a critisism, but all it did was making me ask questions, which is good in a first episode. This has me wondering about the characterization of Heaven and how it came to be. I can accept them being a shitty bureaucracy who only appear good, but this is some Saturday Morning Cartoon villian stuff. I'm very curious about this.

🔵 Niffty couldn't say her lines and just stared at the camera and was completely unaware of the fact that she did a shitty job. How come? I wonder what they'll do with it.

🔴 This is edited. The scene didn't go like this. We cut from the hotel to the Vees before we see Alastor's counter-attack. They cut to a really long section of the episode, in the middle of something that could be dealt with in a second. I wasn't as invested as I could have been in the introduction of the Vees, because I kept waiting to come back to Alastor.

🔵 I'd like to know why Charlie is so naive. Optimistic? Yeah, makes sense. But naive? Now that's interesting to know. She clearly goes outside and sees how sinners aren't the safest people (ie Happy Day in Hell), so you think that spending eternity with them would get her acquainted with the culture and make her adjust her behaviors. But she's still looking at the guy who just tried to kill her and goes "Oh, hello again". I'm dying to know why she's like that.

————

🔵 I see where this is going<3 Despite it all, Angel Dust clearly still loves acting. So when he'll escape Val, he'll show his theatrical side by improvising and acting for Charlie<3

🔵 Despite Angel Dust not adoring the hotel, it's very much a safe place for him. A safe the Vees, from Valentino. Now, someone who worked for them just a second before getting discovered, is in. Can't wait to see more of this.

————

🔵 I liked the rivalry of Alastor and Vox. I liked how Vox is this perfect big shot, yet crumbles about Alastor when he's barely trying. Definitely a highlight.

To Summarize...

🔴 6 negatives 🔵 6 positives

I enjoyed myself a fair bit. Most of the negatives are either nitpicks or won't matter in five eps. It had some flaws but it's a start.

#AAAAA #hazbin is out!!#hazbin hotel critical #anti hazbin hotel #really just tagging because the stans scare me lmao #not an anti #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel criticism #anti vivziepop #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critique #spindlehorse critical #spindlehorse criticism #spindlehorse toons critical #anti spindlehorse #spindlehorse critique

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phxntomhives · 28 days

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About the reaction of Gregory in the latest Kuro ep

Here are some theories about his scream and his reaction at the fire. I love that they don't have much background info so we can just say whatever we want. It's not like anyone can tell me I'm wrong ✨ so here is some angst xoxo

I genuinely hope not one of these is true

1) His house burned down

I mean it still happens today, accident happens. So yeah, his house could have burned down. It doesn't matter your age, that would be traumatizing. On top of that, if a fire suddenly spread out, it is possible that some people may have not survived, adding more fear of fire. Anyone, from the servants to his family could have died in a similar accident, maybe he himself barely survived. Of course he wouldn't want anyone to get close to that hell, and will react badly if they try to do it. And you won't really stop to elaborate, especially if you see possibly seeing flashbacks of the scenes you already saw once.

He feels hopeless while staring at the fire and I wouldn't be surprised to see a tiny Gregory looking at the same scene and just be normally scared, a fear that will remain with him for life. It's the other prefects that somehow snap him back to reality, hopefully freeing him from the bad memories.

2) alternative: a friend's house burned down

Basically the same as before, but his house is lucky enough to not be the victim here. Just like Lizzie saw the Phantomhive manor burning down, he could have seen the house of a friend being devoured by the flames. And unlike the previous version... There is no guarantee there was a survivor. In the worst case scenario, he may have seen the people inside being able to run out of the building, but with high degree burns so extended and dangerous that they weren't able to survive. Maybe he had to see his friend/relative/fiancé come out screaming in pain, burned to the point of being unrecognizable, and later watch them die before his eyes without being able to help. And he just doesn't want to go through all of that again. He isn't letting anyone of them go any closer to the fire and put their life at risk.

3) Lost works

He is an artist. He made 4 different sketches (ok one was the labyrinth game BUT STILL) completely different one from each other, in something like 10 minutes? If that's is his average time to create a piece of art, just how many has he made in the years he has been living there? Thousands probably? Some may be silly or stuff that he doesn't like and he was just waiting to throw away, but others may be drawings he cared about, in which he put all of himself. Hell, maybe there are paintings that took him MONTHS or YEARS to make. And they are all vanishing in a single night. All the effort he puts in them, all the memories he saved as a picture, gone. Turned into ashes without him being able to do anything. Everything he has ever worked on burning in front of his eyes. He can't retrieve anything of those and is likely mourning them already. When the other students want to enter he wonders if they will put themselves in danger to maybe retrieve them. I think Edward trying to enter in particular triggered him, maybe the other students don't know him a lot but Edward has been with him for a while now, since he was Herman's fag/drudge. He can't NOT have noticed that Violet spend his time drawing and maybe he even saw some pieces that Violet was proud of. So he knows that the moment Edward steps in the building, he is likely to try to save anything that he can carry out, because it is important to someone out there. But getting any of those works may put him in danger. And therefore, Violet is scared. He is scared there can be other knightly heroes among the students, that will put themselves in danger to retrieve anything they can still save. "I can remake a drawing, but I can't bring you all back to life." and so he tries to stop them. He tries to do it as an introvert that is having a very bad internal crisis and mourning. But he tries, because while he cares of his art, he can't put it above other's people lives.

4) There are nudes

Hopefully I made you laugh with the title. What I mean is: it's their dorm, they have likely decorated it in the best way to suit their taste and expose themselves in the most true way they can. It's their place and they can be themselves in there. But they are aware they are considered the "weirdos" of the school. Some probably don't care but some may have decided to be truly themselves only inside the comfort of the house. This could also be true for Violet himself. So not only you are watching your home burning down, but now the same strangers that made fun of you, made you feel badly about themselves, want to enter? And potentially learn more secrets about the poeple that lived there? What they cherished and didn't want to share because they didn't feel comfortable to show? It would all be there in plain sight for anyone to see. And so Violet screams at them to not enter. The house can burn down for all he care, but he will let the precious secrets burn down with it so that none of them will have to risk their reputation at school (and later outside) because of him.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #black butler season 4 #gregory violet #purple house #violet wolf #kuroshitsuji theory

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ranchthoughts · 9 months

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Manipulate, Mansplain, Manwhore, Manslaughter: Ray confronting Boston, ep. 6

I've been loving watching Neo play Boston, and the scene when Ray comes to Boston's house to confront him about sleeping with Top stuck out to me in particular, so I figured I would ~dig~ into it a bit. This conversation felt like Boston cycling through various approaches as he tried to gain the upper hand and hit back at Ray, so I've tried to pinpoint when those approaches start and what distinguishes them.

"Ton, you son of a bitch." "Ray. What the hell?" "How could you be so filthy. Will you do filthy shit to all of your friends?" "What shit are you talking about? What did I do?"

Ray walks into Boston's weirdly shabby chic house and doesn't waste time laying into him. Boston is not unfamiliar with confrontation so he knows better than to volunteer details- better to ask questions and find out what Ray knows (or thinks he knows) before getting defensive or fessing up to something. Boston likes collecting information, he likes knowing where people stand.

"You hooked up with Top! What a douchebag." "How did you know that? Who told you?"

Ray doesn't notice because he's too furious, but Boston is genuinely taken aback. He freezes then shifts side to side, he looks like he did in the shower when Mew came in looking for Top; this is a moment of real panic. Boston is too surprised to play dumb or deny it. Crucially, he doesn't even try the "yeah sure, before Mew and Top got together. what of it?" strategy Top tries at the end of the episode. Instead, Boston is more quiet than we've ever heard him before when he asks, "How did you know that?" and then, quickly, almost frantically, "Who told you?".

Not only is Ray's information good, it's something he should have NO way of knowing. Ray doesn't have the wherewithal to get this information himself, so he must have gotten it from someone else. The fact that Ray, of all people (drunken, incompetent Ray), knows something Boston tried hard to keep on the down low is not good. Boston's used to being the one who holds all the cards, so being out of the loop is disconcerting and alarming.

"Doesn't matter how I knew it! He is your friend. Mew is your friend!"

Ray is preoccupied with not revealing his sources and being angry (he steps closer into Boston's space and shoves him) and gives no indication that he caught Boston's little moment of weakness. This gives Boston some time to pull himself together and pick a course of action.

Approach #1: Manipulate

Downplay.

"So? Top and I screwed before they even started dating. Is it so weird to screw again? I just wanted more. Then I let them love each other all they want. Everyone is filled."

Caught off-guard, Boston has confirmed Ray's accusations. But Ray hasn't accused him of sleeping with Top recently, just at some point (unless there is a nuance in the Thai I am missing). In Boston's panic he now confesses to sleeping with Top after he got together with Mew - Ray already knows that, so it doesn't change the interaction, but this is information Boston gave up without being pressed. He's rattled.

Boston's first approach is to downplay the situation. He and Top have already had sex, what is one more time? At the end of the day Boston's hasn't tried to steal anyone's boyfriend, it didn't stop Mew and Top from falling in love, bing bang boom everyone is content. Boston tries to position Ray as the weird one for not understanding why this is fine. He even pulls out the puppy dog eyes - how could a man with these eyes do anything truly harmful?

Note also how Boston says, "I let them love each other" -> Boston sees himself as the one pulling the strings, he is the one in control. Even when trying to minimize his impact he can't help but drop a little reference to his own superiority.

Probably not Boston's best play in this situation, given how mad Ray is and how emotional he is about Mew, but Boston did just have his world rocked so we can forgive him the sub-optimal initial strategy.

Approach #2: Mansplain

Admit some fault, but smooth it over.

"You're selfish. Damn it, he's your friend. What did Mew do to you? You know that Mew and Top love each other!" "Hear me out, okay? I don't hate Mew at all. I was just needy. The timing was just wrong."

Boston hasn't convinced Ray this is nothing to get worked up over so he needs a new strategy. Ray is sensitive about Mew, so it would be good, would help defuse the situation, if Boston can convince Ray this was not about Mew specifically. To do so, Boston assures Ray he doesn't hate Mew* and takes a little bit more of the blame ("I was just needy!"), but he attributes most of the issue to the timing.

*Note how Boston says "I don't hate Mew at all". Ok Boston... Ray just asked what Mew did to you. You were the one who brought hate into this... Yet another case of Boston telling on himself. While Boston is hung up on Top, he's hung up on Mew too and their comparison war of ideologies they have going on.

Ray has escalated the conversation by stepping closer and even shoving at Boston, so Boston changes his body language as well. He goes from neutral and shrugging to more engaged, leaning in closer, making direct eye contact, and raising his hands in surrender. Boston signals that he is being sincere and non-threatening, just explaining logically.

Approach #3: Manwhore

Ok. Now it's personal.

Gifs by @chickenstrangers

"Timing, my ass. The point is your slutty ass just sleeps with anyone." "Not anyone. I picked him."

Ray isn't backing down - he takes a step forward and escalates it to a personal insult. Now Ray has insinuated that Boston is slut who will sleep with anyone, when Boston takes pride in being a slut in such high demand he can afford to be choosy, he can pick whoever he wants. Boston ducks his head briefly and absorbs the hit, widening his eyes like "did this bitch just...". When he bounces back up, his demeanor has completely changed. Ray didn't listen to logic, and Boston is done playing around. He is a manwhore, and proud of it, and now it's time to go for the jugular.

Boston immediately switches to a cocky, confident tone. He's unapologetic for his actions (look at that little shrug!!). Boston could have his pick of anyone and he chose Top. He doesn't actually care what Ray or Mew or anyone else thinks of that choice; Boston gets what Boston wants.

"And how are you involved in this? Oh! You're playing a good friend who is always so protective of Mew. Honestly, I think you're glad that that happened. You've always waited for your chance. This is in your favour. You're waiting for them to break up and be his rebound when he's weak. You will get that, man."

Thus far Boston has been on the defensive, reacting to Ray's accusations. Now he's on the offensive: Boston loosens up, gets fake casual, and leeches manufactured concern into every syllable. He's not trying to be convincingly, disarmingly sincere anymore, he's being snarky and he wants Ray to feel the contempt dripping off each syllable. Boston leans in, pats Ray condescendingly on his shoulder. Now Ray is off kilter, watching Boston warily. Boston uses Ray's feelings for Mew against him again and smiles like he did in Sand and Nick's apartment that night, the satisfaction of knowing he's hitting hard and causing damage.

Approach #4: Manslaughter

Scorched earth.

Gif by @chickenstrangers

"Ton you motherfucker! What a scumbag. Say that again." "If you tell him, then you're as evil as me. Don't act like you mean well while deep down you hope they will break up. It's disgusting! You should even thank me big time for getting you out of the friendzone."

Boston has dropped almost all his masks now. He's done trying to convince Ray it's nothing, or justify his actions, or defend his slutty honour, or attack Ray with faux concern. He's smiling, even after being punched in the face and knocked to the floor. He hit a nerve, like the night at Sand and Nick's. He's turned this around, now it's Ray hurt and reeling. Ray looks nervous, like he's just seeing Boston for the first time, as the latter sits on the ground and grins up at him.

Eyes locked on Ray, Boston gets back up and advances right into his face, smacking him on the shoulder, barely able to hold back the fury in his voice. Now he's being threatening: if Ray says anything, he's the evil one (or, at least, as evil as Boston, as evil as everyone thinks Boston is). Really, Ray should be thanking Boston for this opportunity, not coming into his house and accosting him, but maybe Boston will be lenient and let it slide this time.

I think that it is telling that Boston's last move in this confrontation is "if you tell him you'll be as evil as me"- out of options, he makes a blatant threat. He's been insinuating that Ray revealing this information is self-serving, trying to make Ray feel bad by bringing up his feelings for Mew; now the gloves are off and Boston serves it to Ray straight: it's evil, it's disgusting. I think it's interesting that Boston doesn't go for a strategy he's tried before with Ray at Sand and Nick's house, when Ray was horrified that Boston took photos of him and Mew kissing and Boston said "What? I just want to keep track of my best friends' romantic moments. Was I wrong?" Contrast that with Boston here, where he says he's been "evil". I don't think Boston thinks there is anything wrong with his actions in either case, but he's not pretending to be ignorant of how other people feel about his actions and he's not goading Ray playfully. Boston is spitting mad and lashing out and I think that reveals how rattled and out of control he feels. At Sand and Nick's he had all the cards, he could afford to be playful and antagonistic. Here he's been confronted with information he never intended to get out and he's trying desperately to shut it down and regain some control.

The Aftermath

Gifs by @chickenstrangers

"You asshole! Fucking jerk." ... "Damn it!"

Ray leaves, having lost this battle, and Boston allows himself a moment to gloat, satisfied in his victory and the pain he caused, before dropping his last mask. He sinks down into the chair, hits out, and swears. Ray might have left and Boston might have had the last laugh, but Ray knows about Top and Boston and Boston is pissed. I imagine that conversation felt like a fight for his life, especially after he started off so wrong-footed (allowing cracks to show in his armour, revealing freely he and Top slept together after Mew and Top were together).

Boston is the Hunter, he is the voyeur, he is the one who knows everything (or at least, he thinks he does - see @wen-kexing-apologist's brilliant post). He doesn't like being wrong, he doesn't like being weak, he doesn't like when he isn't the one in control. Now someone has information on him, information he worked hard to keep quiet. Boston doesn't mind scrutinizing other people for weaknesses and blackmail material, but he draws hard boundaries around himself and gets mad when they get crossed (think of how he reacts to Gap taking videos of him without his consent, or sending him messages, or finding him in person - all things Boston has done to his so-called "friends"). I imagine there's an element of "it's Ray of all people" who caught him out going on too - Boston is supposed to be the one with the read on Ray, Ray is supposed to be the drunk one who doesn't know what is going on.

What was Boston's end goal here? I think he wanted to defuse the situation because an angry and vindictive Ray is unpredictable - if Boston can calm him down he can better control Ray. This is why he went for manipulating and explaining and smoothing things over first before bringing up Ray's feelings for Mew. He tried to get Ray to drop it and when that didn't work, he turned Ray potentially sharing the information into a selfish and cruel act, trying to make Ray feel doubt and shame.

Boston doesn't want this information out yet. I think it's partly because he wants to be in control, he wants to be the one who decides when, where, and how Mew gets told... if he intends to tell Mew at all. Boston's been stealthy this whole time - he told Mew to be wary of Top at the beginning, but after that he's kept his comments out of it. He even was supportive of Mew when he phoned right before having sex with Top the first time. I've been chalking this up to Boston wanting to "beat" Mew "fairly": Boston and Mew have pitted their respective ideologies about sex against one another and while Boston has been trying to undermine Mew and break his heart the whole time (choosing Top, someone Boston thinks would never have interest in a long-term relationship, especially one without sex; seducing Top, etc.), he doesn't want this to be known. Boston doesn't want it to look like he rigged the game, he wants it to seem like Mew failed organically his approach to sex and relationships (and by extension, Mew himself) really are inferior (and because Boston's are superior), but Boston needs to be in control so he can't just leave it up to chance. I wonder if it has something to do with Top as well: if Mew finds out about Top and Boston hooking up, Top will be pissed at Boston for messing things up, and Boston will lose any chance of hooking up with or having control over Top again.

@waitmyturtles says Boston is the most honest character on the show, brutally so. I think that if he had had his wits more about him at the beginning of this confrontation he wouldn't have confessed to sleeping with Top recently, at least until Ray brought it up himself, but that's withholding information not lying. Throughout this whole conversation, even when he is trying to downplay or justify, Boston doesn't lie, or at least never quite:

"Then I let them love each other all they want. Everyone is filled." -> I don't think Boston is HAPPY that Top and Mew continued to be together after he slept with Top, but they are, and Boston is either trying to convince himself that it's because he "let" them (gave up on pursuing Top, not that Top shut him down) or he's somehow internalized this as true.

"I don't hate Mew at all. I was just needy. The timing was just wrong." -> Boston doesn't think it is weird for him to want or have Top again, but he's willing to concede that some people might have a problem with his timing. I also don't think he's quite lying about not hating Mew, there's definitely SOMETHING going on there but is envy/jealousy/insecurity perhaps the better word?

"Honestly, I think you're glad that that happened. You've always waited for your chance. This is in your favour. You're waiting for them to break up and be his rebound when he's weak." -> Boston doesn't lie here either: Ray has loved Mew and wanted to be with him, and I think Ray's reaction (going quiet and still, losing his momentum in the argument and settling for lashing out physically and swearing) proves there's a grain of truth there. I wonder if Boston framing telling Mew as something Ray would be doing for himself, a hurtful act for selfish reasons, is why Ray at the bar is so insistent on telling Mew he wants only the best for him, even if it isn't Ray.

#only friends the series #ofts #ofts meta #ranch thoughts #long post #I love love love getting into Boston's brain

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shortpplfedup · 9 months

Text

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 5

It's The Date Episode! And honestly, fucking outstanding. The core six pair off and spend the day lying to themselves and each other. It's mostly cute and sweet but the undercurrent of shit about to hit the fan hangs over the entire episode. It's sort of the calm before the storm. Last week, Boston held onto his top spot in the viewer rankings for the second week in a row, with Ray and Nick rounding out the leaderboard. Can the most miserable bastard in the world do the hattrick? Here's this week's winners and losers.

🔺1. Top (2)

Why don’t you try Lasik? A friend of mine had it, and they said their eyesight is so much better. But now that I think about it…I don’t want you to get it now. I like you better looking like a nerd.

Look, ain't nobody more surprised than me, but this man legit got every goddamn thing he wanted this ep. Top putting on the perfect man act (and I am more convinced than EVER that it's an act) was fascinating to watch. Studiously ignoring all the various signals put out by various other men all day, knowing Mew's eyes are on him. The fucking INSTAGRAM COUPLE PHOTO. And then the knockout blow: when he looked Mew dead in the eye and said 'I love you' I said out loud OH YOU MANIPULATIVE MOTHERFUCKER WELL PLAYED. Do I think Top has bad motives towards Mew, no. I just think he likes the idea of Mew a lot more than he actually likes Mew. And now that Mew's given up that bussy, I'm counting down to Top finding a mistress to give him some variety.

🔺2. Nick (3)

-You’re acting weird. -Weird how? I’m just… I’m just shuffling up my style.

Speaking of getting everything you want, Nick looked like he won the lotto when Boston started talking about settling down. Never mind that Nick is doing ALL of Boston's work for him. Never mind that 3 separate people have now told Nick that Boston ain't shit. Nick is euphoric. Nick has ascended. Nick is doodling 'Mr. Nick Boston's-last-name' in his Trapper Keeper. Nick is going to the gym and dressing more upscale. Nick is giggling when Boston asks to spend the night instead of fucking off as soon as they finish fucking. Nick is headed for a crash so great I'm SALIVATING.

🔺3. Boston (6)

I feel like I should stop sleeping around for a bit. It’s been feeling so empty lately. In the end, I want to have sex with someone I can… talk to for a little, you know? Like, have great sex, have good chats, and…someone I can get affectionate with. Right now…there’s only you.

Told y'all you can't keep a bad bitch down for long and Boston's already bouncing back. He might have had a moment of weakness and tried to be nice for exactly one day, but Nick getting drunk and stoned and running his mouth about how cute Sand and Ray were activated his asshole glands. He smelled happiness and said NOT ONE FUCK OF THAT ON MY WATCH. Boston is that Marie Kondo gif, he fucking LOVES mess no matter how much he goes on about hating drama. He will always poke the hornet's nest. Shutting the fuck up was free, but he just COULDN'T. And thank god, because Ray punching him in the mouth was like 3 of the 5 top things that happened this ep.

🔻4. Ray (1)

-That’s a nice top. Where did you get it? -This thing? It’s secondhand.

Whew Ray's day slummin' it was so classic I shed a tear. I can't really adequately describe his facial expression through the whole day, but 'condescending amusement' is closest. His enjoyment of Sand's company is very real, as are his attraction and hints of affection, but he absolutely does not consider that man his equal, and that's why he doesn't even consider the 'boyfriend' label. No matter what Ray's feeling, Sand's demi-monde, not part of his world. He likes that Sand treats him like he's special, he likes that Sand seems to always want him around, he likes that Sand will take care of him, but he'll never take Sand seriously. This would be true even if he wasn't in love with Mew, but being in love with Mew makes it all worse. Pathetic, I love it.

🔹5. Sand (5)

I work. I save up money. I sleep. I dream. I go to bed alone, wake up, and go to work. Until…he came along. It’s like somebody presses pause on all my 24 hours. Next thing I know…I’m living my 25th hour. Ray’s extra hour.

Oh SAND. I've been saying from jump this is hurting most because SAND KNOWS BETTER. When Sand called Ray his 25th hour I wanted to SCREAM because BABY BOY YOU KNOW BETTER. This dude is either drunk or hungover all of those same 24 hours you are grinding out a living, but you wanna spend your birthday with him because he makes you feel sparkly. He stays sneering at how you ain't got no money and work 17 jobs, but because he does it with a twinkle in his eyes you're blind and deaf all of a sudden. He told you HIS MOTHER DRANK HERSELF TO DEATH and you pour him another drink. I ain't feeling sorry for Sand anymore, he did this to himself.

🔻6. Mew (4)

-Does this mean I passed your test? -Yeah. You’ve convinced me that you really only have eyes for me.

Mew really tried to play a player and ended up playing himself instead. Like, in one way he's won: Top's his boyfriend, and honestly very likely to stay that way. But Mew should have been careful what he wished for because 'boyfriend' and 'faithful lover' are two very different things.

⭐7. Sand's mom

You keep nagging at me, you know that? Who between us is the mother, exactly?

WE AIN'T MET THIS LADY FOR NOTHING! My Sand/Top half brothers theory LIVES!

⭐8. Summer

Sorry to chat you up, but I’m alone, after all.

Poor girl's a hottie but didn't stand a chance.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

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buddiebeginz · 7 days

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/buddiebeginz/752112763763097600

So do we take this as confirmation that it’s not happening since they once again shut it down.

No, for me this is an even bigger confirmation that Buddie is in the plans we just need to be patient. I firmly believe that they wouldn't have even gone down the route with making Buck bi especially not how his bi awakening happened in 704 if there was never any intention of making Buddie happen. It centered very heavily around Eddie.

Some might argue well maybe Tim wanted to make it happen but then changed his mind and or someone behind the scenes stopped it. I think it's likely that the network didn't want both Buck and Eddie coming out in such a short season. They also probably wanted to wait and see how the ratings went after making a major change to a newly acquired show. I also think it's likely that Tim wanted to wait and tell Eddie's story when he had more episodes to do it in. Buck's coming out was told as a relatively simple and happy story. I don't think Eddie's is going to be the same. We're probably going to see Eddie struggle and it's going to be harder for him to accept who he is than it was for Buck. Telling that kind of story properly does need more time.

Also like I talked about in this post, I think Tim wanted to do his artsy Vertigo story with the whole Kim/Shannon thing. So it wasn't just that the network paused it I think Tim had other ideas for this season and he chose to focus on that.

The other thing you need to remember is that if Buddie was really off the table for good they would have lessened the amount of time they had them on screen together and I'm positive more effort would have been put into B/T. This season was already very crunched for time so there was definitely episodes were they didn't need to include Buddie but they did.

Look at ep 707 with the Buddie and Chris scene (when Eddie drops Chris off so he can go on the date with Kim) where Buck compliments Eddie's cologne. Even all the way into episodes 709 and 710 where they had plenty of time to lessen Buddie and add in more B/T if that's the direction they wanted things to go leading into s8. But they didn't.

In fact in 709 we had Buck apparently ditching T*mmy to go talk to Eddie after seeing Kim at the fire station. There was very little of T*mmy even in that episode and the short scene we got between him and Buck T*mmy was being kind of snippy with him. There was also the shot where when Buck got his award the camera pans to Eddie not T*mmy. This had to be a delebrite choice because even the DP Joaquin Sedillo liked a tweet about it.

Then Buddie were together most of 7x10 and were a real family unit. Both in dealing with everything with Chris and also with sitting by Bobby's bedside together. This is incredibly important with it being the season finale because 911 has always used the final episodes of every season as a preview of where things are likely headed.

We did get that date scene with T*mmy in 7x10 but the message there was what it's been all season and that's T*mmy doesn't really get who Buck is. If T*mmy was being set up to be this important person in Buck's life he would have been at the hospital with Buck or at the least had an emotional conversation with him about all he'd been dealing with. Instead we saw Buck trying to be vulnerable and T*mmy turning it into a joke.

I am more sure now than I've ever been that Buddie is a when not an if. We just can't let that other part of fandom get to us or over think if we see things Tim posts on FB or Lou posts with his cameos.

Not sure if you were around in fandom years ago but Taylor stuck around for two seasons and she's gone now. T*mmy will be soon enough too. The best person for Buck is Eddie and the best person for Eddie is Buck. No matter who else they bring into the show they'll never be able to compete with the chemistry and history that Buddie have. Tim and ABC know this and they also know the popularity that Buddie have. They know the amount of attention and praise they'll get when Buddie finally does happen. They're not going to pass that up.

#buddie #911 buddie #911!#buddie s7 #911 7x10 #ask #anon

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mytalemyworld · 1 month

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A little ranting and some of my thoughts about Yabani Episode 31...

Since finally I have time, I'm going to get some things off my chest. It'll be a long post, so here we go.

After having seen the writing of episode 28, I said to myself I shouldn't expect anything from this show, especially with the rating pressure it wouldn't get any better. Because the writers show they aren't competent enough to deal with that. I also said as long as it didn't affect my couple, I could ignore the rest and skip the other parts.

However I learned my lesson, if the show is going downhill, probably your couple is not safe either.

In some parts of ep 31 I rolled my eyes, in some parts I didn't understand the motives of some characters. They were trying so hard but it was neither logical nor touching. Especially some lines and some scenes didn't make any sense.

A conflict was needed between Alaz and Yaman, I can see that and of course it would be delicious if it was written well. So no problem for me. But what's this nonsense, excuse me? Serhan may be cruel, evil and a bastard, (and that's why Alaz still doesn't talk to him or expect anything from him and he's okay with going like this) however wanting your father out of your life is one thing, being okay with him dying is another thing.

Alaz: He's my dad, unfortunately and I can't change that, Mom. But is this what he should get in return? Did he deserve this? What are we supposed to do? Should we be happy? What do you want to hear from us?

I mean, if we're talking about the worst traumas, then Elif should get her punishment too, because the girl literally tortured Yaman & Asi and Alaz even though it was for "the greater good".

And these people who went to the hospital to be by their side, to give them comfort and support acted like Soysalan siblings shouldn't get angry because their father was a bad person. Then Yaman got involed in their argument and asked Alaz what his problem was.

I mean, what? How did all of these make sense? This was just plain stupid.

Poor girl found herself in the middle of their conflict.

I knew he wouldn't listen to reason. Not even Asi could calm him down, I was expecting this and wrote it before. He already fought his mom and his brother so when he came to the worst conclusion I didn't think it was out of character.

Alaz: So you're on his (Yaman's) side.

I could have understood this as well. Because even back then, while they were waiting for any good news about Çağla, Asi's first instinct was to prevent him from blaming himself although he was a bad brother to his twin sister. So I guessed he waited to see an unconditional support again, like her getting angry like himself and stopping the other people, not the other way around.

She actually wasn't on Yaman's side but he misunderstood her words.

So, yeah, even though he was acting irrational, I could understand that.

However this…was truly unacceptable.

I think there's a line that shouldn't be crossed while trying to prove you're right about something, especially the other party is someone you deeply care about.

To me, no matter how much angry he was, he would never say that line. Especially after Zafer plot. This guy was ready to die and kill for her, cared about her traumas and pain. You may say he was also behaving like this towards his twin at the beginning of the series, so he can do anything but I beg to differ. First of all I hated him for that matter as well and that happened at the beginning, a very long time ago. He's been through a lot. If he continues acting like he has no empathy, why are we watching this show?

And I know Asi didn't have bad intentions but in order to make him to say those words, they wrote illogical lines for her too.

So why did they write it anyway? Maybe it was for this scene to happen:

To show that she is compassionate and loves him so much despite how much he's fucked up.

Was it worth it? No. Because we already know that.

I think the director couldn't get rid of that line because of the messaging scene, however he could have shown Alaz regretted it later. But he did not.

So some directing and writing choices were really unnecessesary and disappointing.

You can especially tell this is true because after the hospital scene, Yaman said to Alaz how he wished he could have changed everything. I mean, from the beginning he could have seen what Alaz needed but no, he waited for an hour because the show should last 120 minutes.

What did the show benefit from this? Nothing. I mean, if it happened after he had learnt the truth, we could have said he did it because he tried to make her break up with him. But they didn't choose that way.

There were many good scenes but the rooftop scene literally killed my desire to talk about them.

Like this is probably one of my favorite scenes in the whole series.

Alaz: I hate being your son. You're like a nightmare. One can't get rid of you. No matter what I do, you somehow ruin my life again. I'm tired of listening you, your making up excuses, blaming others. I went crazy thinking that something would happen to you today. I forgot all of your crap. I said he was my father no matter what. I forgot everything you did. Don't worry, I will keep silent, I will stomach it again, because I have to. I have to because of your health state, because of your daughter who is scared that something may happen to you, because of Ece. I have to because I have no choice. But you know what the most painful thing is? I will never be able to look at Yaman's face again. I know you won't like hearing this but I really loved being Yaman's brother. But as usual you forcefully took away another thing I love from me. How can I look at my mom's face now? How can I look at Asi's face now? Serhan: If you keep talking like this to me, it will be my face you can never look at. Son- Alaz: Son…Yes, I am your son. This is what's the worst. I am the devil's son. This is my curse. You took away my last hope that I could be a good person. Endless thanks to you.

And this was good too.

Because you can literally pinpoint the moment he started dying inside. For the first time he wanted her to let him go and she said she couldn't do that.

He was always the one who couldn't let her go but this time she said his trademark lines. *fml*

The whole scene was written just like how I imagined. This was not ooc either. But it could have been more impactful if the rooftop scene hadn't happened.

I don't have any expectations right now, if they give me more beautiful scenes that make it look like they were in a delirious state while writing that scene I can try to forget it. However the first 30 episodes will always have a different place in my heart.

#yabani #asi x alaz #alaz soysalan

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kissporsche · 2 years

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I think Pete's resignation scene is one of the most important in the development of VegasPete's relationship even though they don't really interact, and Pete's character arc.

Now this scene is wonderful, for many reasons, beginning with Bible's acting when Vegas sees his father's body and it hurts to watch as he tries and fails to process the cavalcade of emotions he's feeling. Then Pete runs in, Pete who was just beating the shit out of Vegas and screaming in his face, who's anger fades away in an instant as he takes in the image in front of him and knows better than anyone how Vegas must be feeling. So wrapped up in his and Vegas's internal world, he barely remembers to raise his gun as a good, loyal bodyguard would do.

Because until this point 99% of Vegas and Pete's relationship has taken place alone, just the two of them. This is why I have compared KinnPorsche's ep 6 forest to VegasPete's safehouse: the only way they can truly be themselves and form a basis of a relationship is when they are isolated, away from external boundaries suppressing their individual wants and desires.

Vegas and Pete have based their entire selves around external validation: Vegas has been honed into a weapon for his father to wield against the main family, basing his self worth on unattainable love; and Pete has sacrificed most of his autonomy to be a bodyguard, who switches masks seamlessly to fit what he thinks other people want of him.

In the safehouse they have nowhere to go but to each other and they strip each other bare until they're both forced to reckon with the most difficult questions: without those external forces who are they, really? What do they feel? What do they want? They see each other truly but don't know if they can stomach being seen.

This foundation is still shaky by the time it is put to the test, this whirlwind between the two of them making contact with the outside world. Vegas the weapon and invisible Pete, being perceived by others but not understood; not as individuals, and perhaps especially not together.

The office scene is really the first where they are tested like this, and what is the first thing Pete does? He calls him Vegas. Not Khun Vegas, as he should, just Vegas. In front of Korn and Kinn and Porsche. A plea to be heard over the din of grief, already revealing so much of that internal world to their spectators. Whereas before he begged with Porsche to stop questioning him about what happened, now he allows it to show, knowing the consequences will be worse if he doesn’t. The potential of losing Vegas overrides his natural instincts.

Then, the other bodyguards storm in and guns surround Vegas, Pete's being the last to join the tableau. But when Korn stands them down, Pete is also the last to leave.

If Vegas still chooses to shoot Korn, he's dead. And he asked Pete to be the one to kill him if he had to die. And Pete knows he can't.

He knows that he can't pull the trigger as much as he knows he couldn't stand to watch someone else do it, and if his loyalty is tested there's only one side it could fall on. Pete suddenly sees there was never any question of what he would choose at all. Nothing else matters, but Vegas.

When Vegas shoves past him to leave, Pete is still trying to catch his eye (and continues to try up until the poolside scene, see rambling here) but can't. Vegas's world has just been ripped apart, he can't see Pete right now, because seeing Pete is seeing himself and his sense of self has just been shattered. Perhaps his self hatred is so strong he can't bear to see it relfected back at him in Pete.

So it’s down to Pete, who was the more conflicted, Pete who didn’t know what he wanted, Pete who couldn’t shoot and knew why even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself.

I love this little moment. Pete has to physically stop himself from running after Vegas then and there, he stops and squeezes his eyes shut for a second before forcing himself to turn back around and face the rest of the room.

He is left with only the external forces in his life present: Korn, who he has sworn loyalty to; Kinn, who’s orders he followed without hesitation; Porsche, who he risked his life for. And this is the moment Pete self actualizes. He does not make the decision other people want him to make, think he should make, the decision that would shove him back into the background, safe but unseen.

He chooses Vegas. He chooses himself. These are one and the same.

He strips himself of the external trappings of the main family, and is left just Pete, who knows what he wants and what he will give up to have it. Pete with Vegas's blood in his mouth, blood he put there, that Vegas kissed there. Just Pete who loves Vegas.

And he goes to follow his heart.

#kinnporsche #vegaspete #long post #kp meta #kp orig #kinnporsche the series #IS THIS WHAT I INTENDED TO WRITE? NO. I JUST LOST MY MIND AT 11PM AND THIS HAPPENED #i don't know if this makes any sense but that's okay <3 #can codependant autonomy be a thing? well it is now #pete saengtham #i simply must stop coming back to edit this huh

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