#I apologise for my rambling

[cordelia-cardale]

A lot of rumours have been circulating around the spoilers dropped about Colin and his sexual life. My main thought on this is: intimacy.

Of course, I have to start by saying that if it’s true, I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it, and I feel uncomfortable seeing it. But hey! The man is single and a grown adult, so he does what he wants.

However, I do think that if we want to see half of the things in the book, including some kinky talk and female sexual pleasure on Pen’s part (help, I’ve been in naughty jail for quite some time now) it is crucial for Colin to know a minimum about what he’s doing. That only happens if he’s had time to discover his own sexuality (although it does take away from the sweetness of them discovering themselves with each other).

Yet, that sweetness might still be here and this is where intimacy comes in. If it’s true and Colin is well and truly in his slutty era, I actually don’t think it’s so ooc of him. We’re talking here about a man who, after his first trip abroad, brought home drugs to get high on.

You know what that is? A sort of escapism.

I see his thrysts in brothels as another sort of escapism. Especially if he’s having threesomes.

No strings attached, no single person to focus on = no intimacy.

We know this man is seeking escape. We’ve also been told he has some demons of his own he needs to wrestle with this season. I think one of those demons might be an intimacy issue.

I mean we’re talking about a man who believed he was so in love in season one he was ready to marry immediately. Only to later find out that his trust had been abused (I’m not commenting on what Marina chose to do, I’m just saying that he most likely felt extremely betrayed). And even if he says that he’s moved on in season 2, which his sexual experiences in season 3 will attest to, that boy is probably quite scarred on a mental level and is probably still escaping all sorts of real attachment. I mean even the swagger shows it. He knows he’s handsome and he’s having fun with it, but he is probably nowhere close to being ready to commit when the season starts.

And in comes our beloved Pen and she’s taking none of his shit. Worse, she will see right through him and eventually confront him about his need to escape, which will lead to a passionate carriage make out scene (mind still in the gutter, I do apologise, honestly send help). And for Colin, who possesses all that swagger, is visiting brothels and having threesomes, for his knees to buckle and to have trouble breathing because Pen gives him a compliment about his eyes in the context of a suitor lesson? It’s absolutely hilarious.

That man will always melt into a puddle when he’s with her because it is her. It is Pen, his Pen, a part of the family and someone who brings out the vulnerability in him he is so desperate to hide away.

I think, just as much as she needs to grow in confidence, he needs to grow in his trust in a relationship and to stop running and seeking escape. And I think they will help each other grow in that way. They will discover themselves with each other because there will be that intimacy and that vulnerability that these two do not have with any one else.

Of course that is also what might make the reveal of Lady Whistledown even worse for Colin. Because she is in part responsible for the pain and the betrayal he’s experienced. She did try to warn him and he did not listen so she felt like she had no other choice. But it was badly handled and he says that too. So we might get a duality where Colin finds that intimacy and that trust in Penelope and only her, but he also cannot just ignore how she’s responsible for his demons. And they will have to learn to grow around each other’s best and worst parts and decide whether they are what they want or not.

Anyway all this rambling to say that the sex scenes (if we do get them, I’m still not totally convinced) are probably a way to explore Colin’s demons but mean nothing. And I think (hope) we’ll be able to see the stark contrast in his attitude when he’s with Pen. Because after all, this is Pen, and this is love, and this is nothing like he’s ever felt before.

#bridgerton #polin #bridgerton season 3 #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #I apologise for my rambling #but honestly if this is the story they choose to tell it might get a bit dark #but it will also be such a beautiful love story #of two people who know each other better than anyone and despite all the demons and the doubts and the struggles still decide #to choose each other #because #there is no one else

[lazylittledragon]

i feel like social media has warped people’s perception of conflict in relationships by making you think that any minor fuck up is the end of the world and everyone is secretly a narcissist manipulator with sinister motives, because actually in real life you just say “i’m sorry, that was a bad thing, i shouldn’t have done that” and the other person says “thank you for apologising” and then that’s the end of it

#ramble #i hate that it took until my 20s to realise that i can’t go through my life just trying not to hurt people. because it will happen #it just does happen sometimes #and you have to drop out of the tiktok school of ‘i’m incapable of doing anything wrong ever and everyone else is the problem’ #and get comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them #you’re fine. it’s fine #disclaimer obviously this doesn’t mean you don’t have to try to be kind or considerate anymore as long as you apologise. use your brain

[garoujo]

saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk

CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.

hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.

first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.

on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.

first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.

i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.

a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!

so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.

this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:

again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?

i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.

regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.

she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.

i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.

now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.

but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.

anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.

the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.

it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.

i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.

i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.

i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.

so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.

i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.

— emmie :)

#i apologise in advance to my mutuals & the innocents #i probably had more to say but yk i was rambling atp #anyways see u guys 🖤 love most of u !

[inoreuct]

would you agree that we all need more Sanji getting nosebleeds over Zoro in this fandom?

YES *pelting down a hill waving the proposal for this in my hand like a madman* YESSSSSS

the first time sanji gets a nosebleed over zoro is his clue-in that oh. i’m not straight, am i. the swordsman’s doing a bench press (shirtless, as always) as sanji walks by (and sanji sneaks a look, as always, because who wouldn’t?) and when he glances over the plates he has to do a double take because what the fuck. zoro’s pressing more than twice his body weight. zoro’s repping more than twice his body weight. he’s just registered that maybe he’s stared for a bit too long when he feels something warm and wet on his upper lip, iron dripping over his mouth, and he books it for the galley.

he slams the door shut and presses his back against it before he slides to the ground and screams into his knees because what. the fuck. it’s not even that he’s getting hot and bothered over a guy; it’s just that the guy’s zoro. he’s not supposed to get nosebleeds over zoro.

but he does.

and it gets worse.

zoro walking around shirtless on deck? nosebleed. zoro re-tying the sails and just hanging on with his legs around the mast? nosebleed. zoro strutting out of the shower door, damp with steam and hair dripping wet and a towel around his waist? nosebleed. zoro tsking irritably and grabbing all of sanji’s food and packages from him to haul the whole lot over his shoulder? NOSEBLEED.

and not even that. he starts getting breathless around zoro and his chest hurts. he kicks zoro back while they’re sparring one day and the swordsman grins, feral and unrestrained and all challenge and teeth, and sanji’s heart spasms so hard that he actually wonders if he’s about to go into cardiac arrest. he’s barely twenty, he isn’t ready to die— much less because of some stupid marimo. chiselled abs and a nice set of biceps are only worth so much of sanji’s dignity. he twists and smashes the sole of his shoe right into zoro’s pretty face.

still, it gets so, so bad that he’s elected to just. avoid zoro completely. he’s sneaking around corners and running across open expanses ducked low like some kind of goofy thief and he knows it’s so fucking stupid but he doesn’t. he doesn’t know if zoro likes— no. he doesn’t even think about it. there’s no way, and if he gives himself false hope he’ll just break his own heart. he doesn’t know if zoro likes men, or anyone, much less him; nobody in their right mind would, not really. he's nice to have but not to keep and he's come to terms with it.

…until zoro corners him in the galley and demands to know what the fuck’s going on.

sanji stays facing away, slowly washing the dishes even as his heart pounds so hard it hurts. he is painfully aware of the way zoro’s seething like an over-boiled kettle in one of the chairs behind him, arms crossed over his stupidly broad chest and stock-still because he never, ever shakes his leg even though sanji knows he wants to.

his sponge squeaks across ceramic. the water’s warm against his fingertips, and his eyes flick up to meet his own reflection in the porthole window; he looks… well, he doesn’t know. scared, maybe. nervous. his mouth is thin, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, a shudder running its fingers down his spine even as his heartbeat thumps between his ribs and god, fuck, it aches. and he knows. he looks himself in the eyes and he knows that somewhere along the line nosebleeds had turned into falling in love and he was the stupid idiot who had just let it happen because he was too weak to pry zoro out of his thoughts.

his gaze flicks down sharply when he hears the sudden scrape of the chair, and zoro spits, “look, i can’t fix whatever i did wrong if you don’t tell me what it is.”

sanji’s heart throbs. “what?”

he can hear zoro’s scowl. “what, what? i obviously did something. you’ve been avoiding me like the plague.”

the cook almost laughs. he bites it down and swallows his words, salty-sweet at the back of his throat. guilt nips at him; zoro’s his rival and and his personal annoyance and a blockhead but he might also, maybe, just maybe, be sanji’s best friend. and sanji hasn’t been very fair to him lately.

he swallows again, clears his throat silently. “you didn’t do anything, marimo,” he murmurs to the plate in his hands, trying for airy and getting more somewhat vaguely strangled. he coughs. “just forget about it. sorry i’ve been weird.”

sanji will deal. he will, somehow; he’d been careless and careless is dangerous and for perhaps the first time in his life, he has too much to lose. he’ll squash his heart into a box and lock it down tight like he always has and it’ll hurt, but when does it ever not? he mentally declares the matter done and dusted as he shakes off the plate and gently sets it on the drying rack.

his lungs hitch as a callused hand cups his elbow.

zoro pulls him around. he’s too weak to resist. the edge of the sink digs into his hip as stormy grey eyes scan his face and zoro looks tense, his jaw set in the way it only is when he faces off with a particularly vexing foe.

“did i not look happy enough at dinner?" he asks, and it could be mockery but it isn't, not with that edge to his voice; not desperation, but damn near. like filter paper burning its way to ash. "was it my clothes on the floor? my boots on the bed? what?”

sanji can't stand it anymore. he looks away, tries to twist out of the invisible bonds zoro has him trapped in, but fingers looped around his wrist are all it takes to make him stay and fuck, fuck, he's so fucked.

"sanji, what did i do?” zoro breathes, brow furrowed, voice too near and too damn earnest, and sanji's throat bobs as he digs the heel of his palm into his eye.

this isn't how it's supposed to go. zoro isn't supposed to care. zoro isn't supposed to be standing here in the galley saying his name in that tone of voice. a hand carefully pulls his own away from his face, and zoro doesn't fucking let go, and sanji feels too much like he's been stripped down to the bone.

"i know," zoro continues, gruff like he doesn't know how to be anything else, "that i upset you. so would you please tell me what i did so i can fix it?" he bends lower still, ducking to try and catch sanji’s line of sight but sanji just can't look at him. "i'll fix it, i—"

"you can't fix this." the words are out and in the air before he can stop them, and a bittersweet smile curves his mouth. "there's nothing to fix, so you can't fix it. just let it go, alright?"

zoro wants to argue. sanji can tell. but the swordsman lets out a measured exhale after a long moment and pulls back, face carefully neutral. "at least tell me what's going on, cook."

sanji looks down at his feet. "...i can't."

"like hell you can't," zoro replies immediately, and it's such an abrupt reminder of their normal banter that it wrenches a rough noise from sanji's chest. "i was the one who held your hair back after you had, like, seven margaritas too many. don't think you could tell me anything worse than the experience of trying to stop you from falling into your own puke."

"oh, jesus fuck," sanji swears on instinct, then laughs. it's unfortunately hollow. "that was one time, asshole."

"one time too many," zoro hums, raising an eyebrow. "so you gonna tell me what's going on, or do i have to make it a captain's order?"

sanji grits his teeth.

"i will drag luffy in here, i don't care—"

"fucking—" he holds his breath, flipping around to white-knuckle the edge of the sink and letting it out slow. "fine. you ever loved someone, marimo?"

"sure." zoro shrugs easily, crossing his arms as he looks out the window. "kuina, but i think i learned to love her memory more than anything else. luffy, nami—" a near-unnoticeable flutter of thick lashes. "you."

sanji exhales through his nose as he rocks back on his heels. squeezes out air till it hurts. "you know that's not what i meant."

"what did you mean, then?"

he turns to look at where zoro has settled lazily against the counter, the moon turning his eyes to silver. "I mean the kind of love that makes your blood race. that makes you want more even when you know you'll never take more than you're allowed. the kind that makes your heart hurt so badly you feel empty without it."

the swordsman's face is unreadable as he tilts his head slowly. "i did say i love you."

it hits sanji like a bullet. he sucks in a sharp breath, and his throat burns as he turns away and tries to stop his shoulders from heaving up. "don't fuck with me, zoro. not about this."

it feels rather like a cruel cosmic joke. he's so near yet so far, just one step away with a gauzy curtain between but he can't touch it. he won't. he's got too many things on the line and yet he can't even name one of them.

"hey."

he squeezes his eyes shut against the burn of salt that shouldn't even be there, and look at that. little sanji's gone and broken his own heart again.

"hey," zoro tries again, more insistent, one hand hovering in the space between them and sanji feels the pull of it like a magnet.

he doesn't turn away as it cups his cheek. doesn't run as fingers slide through the short hairs at his nape, a thumb behind his jaw. his lashes are damp. it is everything he wants and everything he cannot have and he can't—

"look at me."

"i can't," he breathes, lungs rising fast and shallow. he's afraid to open his eyes. he's afraid of what he'll see.

"yes, you can." zoro shifts closer and another hand joins the first. it's big and rough and warm and he holds sanji's face like he's the moon herself. "look at me, curly."

he can't.

he does.

zoro's gaze is almost painful to meet straight-on with how intense it is. he seems to realise, face softening as he leans closer, closer, posture loose enough that it would be no problem for sanji to shove him away. "you love me," he breathes. "yes or no?"

sanji's heart stops. his tongue is clumsy in his mouth, his brain a mess of yesnoyesyesnoiwon'tican’tido—

"don't think." zoro's voice cuts through the haze as he shakes his head slowly; a sword through smoke, silver-bright, singing in the air and leaving silence. "don't think. you love me, yes or no."

the galley swims around sanji as his vision blurs. he feels his tears spill hot down his cheek, knows the way zoro aches to brush them away and yet stays still. he opens his mouth and it feels like stepping out of the only shelter he's ever known; he is an open fucking wound and he's raw and everything hurts, everything but zoro. zoro. zoro. "yes."

just one word, three simple letters, and still it feels like damnation; if he'd never said it he could deny it but now it's real. the swordsman relaxes, shoulders dropping enough that his forehead brushes sanji's, and sanji tracks the way his throat bobs. the way steel-grey eyes flicker over his face, molten in the light of the electric lamps and the moonlight spilling through the window, gilding zoro like something out of a dream. a fairytale sanji read as a child until the edges of the pages fitted familiar to his thumbs as his little hands reached for a happy ending that was never meant to be his.

he shakes, now, as zoro reaches up to run tentative fingers through straw-pale hair. "let me love you. yes or no."

"i—" the sound that twists from his mouth is cracked jagged down the middle, unpolished as a common pebble picked up off the damn street. "you don't—"

"yes or no."

"i'm not what you want," he gasps, his face wet.

"yes or no."

sanji wants to break apart. because zoro sounds like he's begging, and he cannot fathom anybody possibly wanting him that much. he wants to scream and cry and claw at the walls until his nails break. he wants to shatter into pieces all over the floor without having to worry about putting himself back together. he wants. he wants, and zoro's looking at him with the closest thing to reverence he's seen in his life, and even that isn't enough for him to believe it. "i'm not what you want."

he can barely look at zoro. he can barely look at himself. the shame is clawing a pit into his stomach, and he lets it, feels every inch of it, because what kind of person doesn't know how to be loved? his breath catches wetly as zoro cups his jaw in both hands, tilting his face up, and once again sanji is too weak to pull away.

"you are everything i want."

the words are so fierce, so sure, and sanji is cracking apart at the seams. the stitches pulled tight by his own hand are unravelling and he can't stop it—

"yes or no."

zoro's breath ghosts warm across his mouth, fingertips in his hair, just far away enough for sanji to see the way his eyes are blazing and yet he waits. his thumb on sanji's cheek is the gentlest thing sanji has ever known.

"you'll get tired of me," he tries weakly, one last time for good measure, and zoro just shakes his head. the resolve in his expression does not waver even once.

sanji breaks.

"yes." the word scrapes itself out of his throat seconds before arms are going around him, and he sobs. lets the swordsman bring them both to the kitchen floor as he curls up in zoro's lap, fingers clawing into his white shirt, numb with how hard he cries because nobody, nobody has ever stayed. not without him getting hurt in the process. he pushes them away when he gets scared and they let him and then it becomes his fault when it all blows up in his face, but zoro's not leaving, and it's so foreign to him that he's shaking so badly and he can't stop.

a warm, heavy palm smooths over his spine and he lets himself be shifted closer, settles sideways as zoro wraps an arm over his shins and rocks them until his breathing evens out. the embarrassment hits like a gut punch; he knows he looks like a mess, face blotchy and hair everywhere and eyes puffy as hell, but zoro cards his bangs out of his eyes and looks at him like he doesn't care, and sanji turns away.

he feels... fragile. like he's made of tinted glass and spun sugar, like he'll cave in at the slightest touch. there is something melting in his chest and it drips down over his ribs; pools fresh as a river in spring, offset by the grounding presence of zoro's hands on his skin. "don't say i didn't warn you," he mumbles, masking his very real fear behind a layer of watery bravado as he hides his face in zoro's shoulder, and of course, of course zoro sees right through him.

the swordsman's thumb traces the swirl of his eyebrow before zoro rests his chin on top of sanji's head. "i don’t listen. you know that."

you know me, is what goes unsaid, and sanji doesn't deign to reply. he buries his face into zoro's chest and breathes in the smell of steel and sword oil and— he sits up slightly, eyes narrowing. "you've been stealing my deodorant, yes or no." the way zoro stills momentarily is a dead giveaway, and he yelps when the swordsman flicks his forehead.

"would you rather i be stinky?" zoro scoffs, rolling his eyes gently as sanji settles back down with a huff.

"you still are stinky. if we're gonna be together i'm expecting you to shower at least once every two days—" zoro groans, and he powers through, raising his voice, "—and if you aren't fussy i'll let you shower with me."

the way zoro instantly stops complaining cracks a laugh out of him. it's weak and watered-down, but it's a start. zoro's hands slide back into his hair and he hums as he lets his eyes fall shut.

the moon's full tonight. their ship rocks gently, and sanji gets comfortable; zoro's warm and solid and happens to make a perfectly respectable pillow. the thought that he can have this now sends a thrill through him.

he's not a fool. he's not optimistic when it comes to this. when it comes to love.

but with zoro's thumb rubbing mindless circles against the side of his thigh and a kiss pressed to the top of his head, he's got a pretty good feeling about this time around.

#er. this dragged me down the hill and i let it #this got so off-topic anon i apologise #but to be fair even after they start dating sanij gets absolutely HORRIFIC nosebleeds #like hello?? that man is hot as hell?? and he's MY man??? good lordy #cue him leaning against the wall in a dramatic swoon and yelling for zoro to catch him #(zoro does not catch him. sanji falls on his ass.) #(he does get a forehead kiss before zoro walks away cackling though so. a win is a win!) #black leg sanji #zosan #one piece zosan #zoro x sanji #roronoa zoro #one piece zoro #one piece sanji #one piece #ino writes #ino's ask box #sanji's issues deserve a tag of their own #my habit of segueing from chill fun rambling to emotionally damaging content should be studied. jesus christ.

[random-human-being2311]

whoopsies sorry there I accidentally revealed how much I obsessively care about my interests, very cringe I apologise it'll never happen again

can we all just ignore that and pretend that it never happened?

#doctor who #queen band #the beatles #six idiots #good omens #classic who #/hj because no it's NOT very cringe I DON'T apologise it WILL happen again but also my brain tells me this on a daily basis and I hate it #as much as my friends reassure me that they care about hearing about my special interests/hyperfixations #being told repeatedly to shut up and let everyone else speak and notice and stop when youre going on about something too much has its toll #that one's ramblings #wait a sec how did I not include nu who #nu who #bbc ghosts #yonderland

[humanblt]

i feel like i’m being dealt white damage every time i talk to non-pm fans and they use any variation/the original ayin grip meme bc it gets me like this and i’m trying so so so hard not to be annoying but also like,,,, DO THEY KNOW??? DO THEY KNOW?.????

#this is directed at like 3 people #i’m so fucking insane it’s not even funny #i need to finish formatting my sandwich’s guide to pm #and then when it’s done i need people to ask me about it so i can autistically ramble about this framchise and hand them the doc #i also will not apologise for any gay ramblings in it about any of the women #sandwich speaks

[distorted-smile]

Characters belong to @weevmo.

Dahlia…you and me, girl /hj. I’m sorry, Weevmo you keep dishing out these scrumptious characters and I just gotta go a little silly, as a treat. I struggled a bit emulating her into my style but I hope she’s still recognisable.

#okay it’s gonna sound weird but she is a very specific of fabric texture #I think it’s like a starchy type #maybe what you get from old dresses? #its like if jeans were firmer #she feels like she would be that texture if she was a fabric #that’s was a whole ramble #corduroy stew #I’ve been working on a fan oc but it’s taken longer than I explected #I made dahlia look like she’s eating a single slice of bread so I apologise for that #fanart #digital art #digital drawing #digital illustration #art #my art #sketch

[coreaflame]

so ssorry to anyone i promised art to . my msm hyperfixation has unfortunately ended , which took a toll on my motivation to draw . i still really like the game , but it just does not make me as happy as it used to

above is an artistic representation of what ive been doing for the past month or so . resting . and i will continue to rest for a bit more .sorry

#this is unnecessarily dramatic im trying to say that my autism just doesnt vare abt msm anymord while i genuinely want to be interested in i #one does not simply force a hyperfixation #as you could tell this blog will be taking a break and possibly start posting more about non msm related things . i sincerely apologise #i really hope the hyperfixation comes back . i really do . it has brought me insane amounts of comfort for a year now #sorry for rambling its just made me a Little Upset haha overall im mentally doing the greatest i have in a bit #miss these melodious critters tho . #my singing monsters #blarret #tw vent #? idk

[random-lil-illing]

screenshot redraw of everyone’s favourite hacker!! i may have gone a little overboard with the neon, haha. do i regret it though? not at all.

#my art #art #digital art #finished art #fanart #carmen sandiego netflix #carmen sandiego player #carmen sandiego fanart #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019 #carmen sandeigo #cs player #cs player fanart #player #player bouchard #player bouchard fanart #carmen sandiego season 4 #screenshot redraw #screencap redraw #screencap #screenshot #redraw #this screenshot redraw made me realise just how different the player in my head is to the player in canon. huh #also for those who cant see the picture on their shirt its supposed to be a pic of 6arelyhumans profile pic :3 #i apologise for the shit quality i genuinely don’t know what happened there. ill try to correct it next time i do a redraw #listen i think theyd get bullied by people in a higher grade then them. but the people in their grade would be OBSESSED with them #my boy introduced themself as player and then like. 2 thousand dollars worth of electronics started ringing in their bag #the people in their class would have a conspiracy gc about them you cannot convince me otherwise. theyre the school cryptid #anyway enough rambling #enjoy the burnt food

[goonflower]

me when i see ronance being critised yet again bc robin is steve's best friend who wouldn't "break bwest fwiend code" and nancy is steve's ex who bwoke poor stevie's heart uwu.

first of all, nancy and steve have been broken up for TWO YEARS already. steve has already forgiven nancy for the break-up. and let's not forget that a big part of why the break up happened was bc nancy was actively mourning the loss of her best friend.

am i saying she handled things perfectly or that her grief is an excuse? no of course not. but i am saying people do not have nearly as much empathy for nancy's trauma and how it affects her as they do for other (male) characters, they just jump straight to calling her an evil bitch. first it's her fault that barb's dead bc she dared to be blinded by romance as a teenage girl then it's her fault when she pulls away from the same guy bc of what happened like... what do you want from her, genuinely?

i'm begging you to stop centering male characters for once in your fucking lives omg. if you don't ship ronance, that's fine but don't bring up this bullshit as a reason not to ship them. robin buckley and nancy wheeler are so much more than their proximity to steve harrington.

btw i'm not hating on steve okay. sorry for the rant i just saw a tiktok that pissed me off so much about how steve would/should be mad about ronance

#stranger things #ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #steve harrington #thoughts #rambles #rant #normalise nuance #barb holland #listen i can handle critism about my fave nancy #but not when ppl don't show that same energy for male characters #bc at that point its a double standard #like s2 steve was not a good bf he actively told her to stop talking to him about her own grief #something which he also acknowledges as wrong btw when he apologised for it so you can't say i'm wrong for that #nancy wheeler defender #nancy get behind me

[mazzystar24]

So Buck and Tommy start hanging out and become friends, but then Eddie starts cockblocking them??

Are we a jealous arc from both Eddie and Buck?

Everytime I get an ask I blush and twirl my hair and kick my legs at the opportunity to yap so thanks for the ask anon!

I’ve been trying to work out how they’ll pull this storyline because it went from ooo it’s gonna be bucktommy with jealous Eddie to ooo buck is like my husband can’t have other friends to my husband is stealing my new friend but also some underlying self discovery?

So my current theory is that like it’ll start with buck being super intrigued by Tommy and wanna be his friend then Tommy perhaps starts hanging out with Eddie instead (my theory for this is that it has something to do with the line bobby says to Eddie about not being able to tell him how to feel about the job and Tommy is really scouting out Eddie for air rescue team)

But buck then feels let down from both sides in a way because he’s an insecure idiot puppy and it’s like oh wow Eddie has a girlfriend AND is befriending the guy I wanted to be friends with AND Tommy would rather be friends with Eddie 😔

I saw someone also point out that Eddie low-key does a keep your enemies closer approach when jealous and explained the 911/lonestar crossover with marjan as Eddie scouting her out cos buck was staring at her and she’s this like hotshot firefighter and him slipping in little oh yeah we are basically raising a kid together hints so maybe that’s what we’re seeing here where Eddie recognises Buck’s intrigue toward Tommy (platonic or otherwise 👀) and like does his own jealous petty thing in a very roundabout way that just makes buck more jealous

Now buddie shipper goggles is that there will be introspection about his reasons for being jealous and it’ll conclude with either an “oh” moment or with more sort of stretching it out by sort of mimicking this very complicated jealousy thing where we think it’s toward one then it’s toward the other so what I’m saying is if bi buck is becoming canon they might do it where he’s like oh yeah I’m after Tommy then it’s like nope it’s actually Eddie

I do think overall that there is DEFINITELY potential that we get jealous buck and jealous Eddie which honestly I’m a jealous Eddie girlie because jealous buck just depresses me and jealous Eddie is a petty bitch who I love

like I made this comparison in someone’s tags but like jealous Eddie is like you belong with me or hits different “I pictured you with other girls in love and threw up on the street” energy meanwhile jealous buck is like maisie peters “good enough” or “details” energy that makes me wanna sob into my pillow

#oh my god I’m so sorry this was so long #I don’t even know how much of this is coherent #deeply apologise to anyone who reads my rambling I swear I’m way better at verbally explaining stuff #eddie diaz #911 fox #evan buck buckley #911 abc #911onfox #evan buckley #buckley diaz family #911 spoilers #buddie #911 spec #911 #911 speculation #asks #answered asks #send asks #asks open

[lazylittledragon]

ok so i dyed my hair and it's giving raggedy ann which is great by itself but how fucking sad is it that i smile in photos so rarely that i'm almost 22 and just learned TODAY that i have a dimple

#ramble #idk why but recently i've realised how fucked my self esteem actually is #i need to do something about it bc i found myself apologising to my boyfriend for the way my body currently exists #that's!!!!! really bad!!!!!!!! #disrespected in my own house #i live here that's not nice why am i doing that to myself

[tuesdayinthedas]

So in my classic me driving an hour on my way home from work got me thinking about Vegeta (another classic) and his relationships to other Saiyan's/being Saiyan and how much being under Freeza's rule warped his sense of being and thinking.

When Raditz dies, Vegeta is very blase about it, much like he was for when he found out his entire race and planet was erased. And then there is no hesitation in killing Nappa as soon as he was seen as weak. And yet we also see Vegeta, who clearly has sense of pride for his race. He always talks about being the Prince of Saiyan's and living for his pride, a trait that he aligns with being inherently Saiyan.

So it got me thinking to his time under Freeza in the PTO particularity at such a young age. It feels there is this very ingrained "there is no point to you unless you are strong", like the only value is strength or at least the ability to keep going regardless of how beaten you are. As any sign of weakness pretty much (we see again and again how Vegeta refuses to stay down) is a death sentence. On top of this we all know how Freeza talks about Saiyan's he never has anything nice to say about them is constant berating and belittling. So Vegeta would constantly be exposed to the belittling of his people and taught to value this strength above all else, leaving such conflicting emotions. Imagine having so much pride in being a Prince of your people, and having pride being so integral to that identity and having it so warped that the sign of weakness from even the last of your people means they are deserving to be removed. I don't really have a point to this, I just thought about it and made me kinda sad lmao. Especially as we see Vegeta eventually has some remorse for his actions (speech to Goku on Namek) and the way he reacts to Universe 6's Saiyan's (you can see how his real pride for his people manifests and honestly I loved the interactions with Cabba and Vegeta so much cause it just shows what he could have been)

#I apologise for my lack of eloquence #I'm not very good at putting points together #and though I have watched all of dbz its been a very long time and I am not all through my rewatch #vegeta posting #vani rambles #i think about Vegeta too much lmao

[majunju]

What's staoke

its a phone game! the full name is "la corda d'oro starlight orchestra" but a lot of ppl refer to it as "staoke" bc of its lengthy title... it's currently only available in japanese but i promise u guys it's actually so good if u like classical music, a very sunny heroine and an amazing coming of youth story, you'd 100% love it

#asks #im not even joking i could go on ab yui (the mc of the game) and sakuya for like. years #my followers on my priv twt have been subjected to the most delusional rambles at 5am and i apologise 2 them </3 #but like. down to the NAMES sakuyui r bound by fate . its so crazy actually #enough rambles from me play staoke for clear skin

[itsnotmourn]

CONCEPTS AND RAMBLINGS | "animal" cult pmv extras

thank you everyone for liking my pmv (and on yt and twitter) !! i got more attention than i thought it would and that means the world to me! <33

here’s some of my concept art + rambles for it!

the first thing i made up, the character designs!

i didn’t think to refine them because they were good enough to use LMAO... so i scribbled colours down, threw a filter and called it a night

i wanted a sharp change from the verses and chorus (since the song goes from calm to... louder) so i made it greyscale (with a red filter) that changed to brighter colours!

also changed the text font/colour for ignacio hmm. the font was hard to read, in my opinion.

ignacio's design

ignacio loses his bandage colours because that was too many colours for my liking… i completely forgot his hair highlights tho

ah and he doesn’t get a mouth until the fire scene too…

it was only meant to be done for a few frames but i thought it be cooler if it was consistent.

the missing mouth represents his repressed feelings/silence, or something like that.

skidad's design

i got a few questions on whether skidad was a goat. despite looks, skidad’s design is actually based on the herbiadean/jacob sheep! four horns!

i have drawn skidad as a jacob sheep before as well!

look at them ominous friends.

the resemblance to goats is something i considered as well (links with cult/sacrifice) so i think of it as a fun bonus

i gave him wolf teeth because the whole “wolf in sheep’s clothing” but also because i like it when prey animals are given predator features

i left the body as "human" because i only wanted the face to be censored… i considered clawed/darkened hands too but nah

skidad was originally going to be lined like ignacio, but i liked the lineless look for him so voila! makes it feel like he’s “not bound by anything”... actually, this is the same reasoning for the match to be “out” of the border, even though it’s ignacio’s hand

storyboards

i rarely storyboard (most are locked in my mind) but i figured it'd be fun to try!

halfway, i got bored of drawing digitally so i moved onto my notebook. i think it was a good decision; since i drew with my ink pen, it forced me to move on with my mistakes instead of clicking "clear canvas" lol

i had a pretty solid idea of what i wanted after weeks of listening to the song over and over again. the only thing that really changed was the mirror, which was replaced with a shadowy ignacio

the coloured thumbnails i actually did first, just to figure out out what i’m doing for the chorus part… limited palette my beloved

i didn't know where to put the text so i was scribbling everywhere lol

ratio changes

in the chorus, the ratio of ignacio and skidad’s frames changes! it’s more obvious if i combined them together, like this

less for ignacio, more for skidad

did you notice that the fire in this shot look like the cult ?!!! why did i do that, you ask? well:

the fire is the same “red”as the robe

too lazy to draw fire without abusing motion blur

mmm symbolism idk. it's somewhere there

it wasn’t in my plans but i’m happy i made the choice in the last minute. this was the last thing i needed to finish before syncing it up with the music

also this… i just wanted to point it out… make sure everyone knows... did you notice this? did you? did you did you? well now you do!!!

that's it !!! that's your trip into my mind!! okay byeeeee !!

#even though i gave my own reasons; i welcome any other interpretations! #/gen !! i'm very interested to hear! throw an ask or in the reblogs! #[ mourn's mourns ] #[ mourning pmvs ] #[ the art of mourning ] #spooky month ignacio #spooky month skidad #not apologising for the absolute chaos of my writing... its rambling for a reason........ /J LOL #i won't be free from skidad videos ough #but now im starting university so i guess they won't be out anytime soon HAHAHA #hope you enjoy reading this!

[screemu-ribbons]

Can't stop thinking about this. The image looks so strange. They look like they're eating in silence in the darkest, dingiest, most depressing diner they could find. All of them look mildly upset, staring at their food as if they're too stunned to stomach up an appetite; it's like they just witnessed a car crash on the drive there, and nobody wants to talk about it.

#msm #my singing monsters #clamble #oaktapus #fwog #dandidoo #official material #rambling #shitpost #i apologise if this is completely nonsensical i just needed to say this out loud #car crash mention