#I am feeling vulnerable about this

[roanniom]

So…

I’m thinking of branching out with my fan fiction. Writing for more characters in different fandoms.

I’m realizing lately that I want to dabble in different kinds of stories, and I think I’ve gotten into a little bit of a rut - my ADCU fics are feeling repetitive lately and while I enjoy writing them, I feel like I can only do so much with Sackler, Charlie, and Paterson (the ones to which I tend to gravitate).

I really would want to just go with whatever tickles my fancy at the time so I can’t even like give a list of possible characters.

To be completely honest with you, I’ve randomly just read a bunch of STRANGER THINGS fics in the last two days and Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson have just scrambled my brain and I want to write for them.

That’s the truth

So what are we thinking? Would people be down for me being a more fluid fic writer?

#eddie munson x reader #steve Harrington x reader #fanfiction #tbh please don’t hurt my feelings lol #I am feeling vulnerable about this

[lesbianangeldust]

huskerdust fic where angel has a flashback/ptsd moment during sex and husk helps him manage it (I am totally not projecting nor do I want to read this for my own mental wellbeing)

#the brackets are sarcasm i am absolutely shamelessly projecting #please cuz angel would feel awful for 'ruining' the sex and embarassed for being vulnerable #and he would feel bad about himself cuz he failed at the thing he sees as his only source of worth #and husk would want to help but not really know how but somehow manage to make things easier anyway #just by being respectful and not a total dickhead #i will write this but i still have my current fic to finish #huskerdust #hazbin hotel #hellaverse #helluva boss #vivzieverse #vivziepop #angel dust #husk #my posts #hazbin hotel angel dust #husk hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfic

[uncanny-tranny]

The most fulfilling thing about art (and why I'm so passionate about it as a concept) is just knowing that this is a piece of you entering this world and being born, and it's as imperfect, messy, and human as you are.

Like, this is my first single crochet, and look at it!

It's lumpy and not even whatsoever, but that came out of my hands. It is, essentially, not unlike a toddler who has just learned to walk with uneasy legs. Would you punish a toddler for toddling, for being unsteady and unrefined? Then why is it that we must punish ourselves for being in what is essentially that same state? Create, even if you cannot run with it. You can still walk with it. You can still crawl with it. But, create

#art #crochet #described images #image description in alt #a lovely lovely crochet youtuber helped me by uploading a video too (it was overwhelming to watch her crochet with me though) #i am going to be so mentally ill about this by the way #i wish i hadn't picked up this acrylic yarn but i got it because it was yellow and so bright and happy-looking #plus it's one of those yarns that come in the huuuuge skeins #my grandma had so many of those skeins and they always fascinated me #this isn't my first time picking up a crochet hook and crocheting but this is my first actual single crochet #whereas i always stopped at a chain #i always talk about how important all of this is but it still feels vulnerable #i was in So Much Pain sitting on my bed to do this 😭

[suits]

help a black woman in need

tldr; beat homelessness just in time to have my car repossessed.

hi ive been putting this off as long as i can because idk how to ask for help but i really need it rn. some of you might know, i was homeless since oct 2022. we found a place and have moved in at the start of this month (july). unfortunately this morning i was on my way out to work only to find that my car had been repossessed due to me falling behind on the payments (see: being homeless). i had to call off today but i need my car to get to work the rest of the week. im not asking for a specific amount because i need a lot and this will most likely be ongoing.but ANYTHING helps. please share even if you can't help out financially. words of encouragement/advice also appreciated. thank you 🙏🏾🫶🏾 pypl: @mkwats cshpp: $mkawatson vnmo: mk-watson

#i've literally been crying all day i have no idea how im going to make it through this #i do not like asking for help and only like 2 people knew about my previous situation but this is just so #all encompassing i feel completely defeated i really dont know what to do #sorry ill probably be annoying rb this #please do not be rude this is incredibly vulnerable i genuinely dont know how to even #put into words how defeated i feel #maybe its my own fault for waiting so long to ask for help #maybe if i asked sooner i would not be where i am right now but i genuinely hate feeling like a burden #im very much suffer in silence type but this is so much more than i can handle alone

[andromeda3116]

planning to make a move tonight with this guy and deeply terrified even though i know he's interested, he's made it very clear that he's interested but putting the ball in my court to decide what, if anything, i want and i've made up my mind to pursue this but like. i've been single since the obama administration because there's not, like, a person-shaped hole in my life, i don't need to be with someone to feel whole, and i have to make room in my life for another person and idk how to do this and i hate feeling vulnerable or exposed or out of control and giving someone else the power to hurt me and having to just. trust that they won't. but i kind of... accidentally already gave him that power without realizing it. i kind of... feel like this is just acknowledging something that's already started.

i am. so nervous.

like, a little giddy, a little eager, a lot anxious for no reason other than how terrified i am of major changes even when i feel like they're good ones and. and. and.

#i am having to force myself to eat #i have cleaned the whole apartment. i am shaking like a leaf. i will 100% need a glass of liquid courage. #i've already told all my family that i'm doing this so i can't chicken out. #it just feels like... it's time. we're here. we've reached this point. #he won't be over here for like four more hours and my brain is eating itself. #this is going to be comical probably i am just going to have to come out of the gate with it bc if i wait i'll chicken out. #i've been trying to come up with what to say all week but i know my mind is going to go blank and i'll end up babbling. #he knows about my issues with vulnerability. he knows about my anxiety. he knows about... me. #he'll probably pick up on the gist of it even if i'm stumbling through what i need to say #hnnngh #i feel like komi from komi can't communicate when she accidentally calls tadano #like bouncing around the room ''panic panic panic panic'' #and its been all day of this and like probably four more hours of it and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[the-holy-ghosted]

which terror crewmate would wear the baby slut tank top and camo capris?

i know you said terror crew but for the life of me i cannot fucking think of any other character who deserves it

its collins. it has to be collins, right? its gotta be collins. final answer collins

#the heron giveth #the heron heareth #the terror #henry collins #drawings of men that tell you every last thing you need to know about a person #i feel so vulnerable posting this but the thing is? the terror girlies will love it #and so i will post it. i am being so brave #anyways i have a fic to read here take this im leaving GOODBYE im not TAKING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT #idk if anon was expecting a full drawing but YOURE GETTING ONE

[coconut530]

CHECK AND MATE ♟️

#Nevermore #Nevermore Webtoon #Webtoon #OHOHOHOHOHHOOHHO AN EPISODEEEEE #Wow just out the gate she wants the biggest secret he has (I wonder what it is?????) #Be vulnerable or die. Seems like you’re already doing the first so just lean into it #Ada “😓 can barely watch Montresor like this ohooooooo” oh boi #I had the exact same thought process as Prospero watching them 😂 #“No one knows more secrets than a queen.. Lenore” And there she is collecting secrets #“Louder. So they can hear” OOOOOOOOOOO “And what I want right now is for you to beg” AAAAAAAA “For the thrill” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #ANNABEL YOU’RE SO COOL #His disdainful expression while he’s begging goddamn 🫢🫢🫢🫢 #Look Monty they care about you (I guess) try caring about them for once #POSH BESTIES MOMENT AAAA THEY’RE SO CUTE TOGETHER (PLATONIC) #Seriously like the ep. 71 hand moment and the ep. 80 hug and now this like Posh Besties is so cute #I wonder what the favor could beeeeeeee #Also hi all the suitor armor fans amongst us how’re we fEELING #:D I for one am feeling like 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #And that’s all I’ll say :’D

[a-s-levynn]

(source)

#sleep token #here is a thing #there are certain moments when Vessel looks.. no he rather feels.. small #i mean his.. aura? presence? but not in the non-captivating way but as in an emotionally vulnerable way #i don't really have the words to describe this but just like on this picture #bear with me for a minute because this is either gonna sound completely unhinged or make some sort of sense #it's probably just me having a little more time on my hand than i should and just want to see things but.. #sometimes he feels so present in a here-i-am as-i-am take-me-as-you-will this-is-all-i-am i-can't-give-more-nor-less it's-just-me sorta way #he feels so human in the rawest sense possible and yet so deep in character maybe even more so than when he creatures or teefs and all #like.. he is just vessel in it's simplicity and without the 'divine' if you will.. simply just vessel #in his barest of existance #a shadow of someone who used to be but not quite anymore #he is in pieces and it is willingly laid bare under the mask and all that bodypaint oh so clear to see for anyone #and that is not the outstreched hand of you-are-not-alone but the outstreched soul that cries you-can-find-yourself-in-me #and that is what i find so heartbreaking about him #this kind if raw openness because the lore says vessel is a conduit for sleep #for us vessel (and the the others) is the conduit of our emotions #and he is there somewhere inbetween the truths #just him a simple human being who sometimes seems to wish not to be human which makes him more human than anything #and that is what i can't describe better than 'sometimes he feels small' and at time even maybe makes me cry a little

[everythingisconfetti]

Orym's insistence on protecting Fearne (and increasingly, all of the Hells) under any circumstance, no matter the risk to himself is so beautifully painful because it isn't just protectiveness. It's also his own guilt at walking away with his life from the fight that killed Will. It's him saying "you will kill me before you touch anyone I love. I will die before you lay a hand on my family." It's more than vigilance, it's a willingness to self-sacrifice that edges on reckless. Those moments are also the ones where his pain is the most visible, where he raises his sword as if to say "here we are again, and this time I won't fail." He's let people in again, let them get close, and now he has to do all he can, give everything necessary to keep them safe.

#my shield is on my back bc i am double wielding which drops my ac' - i will make myself vulnerable to raise my odds of keeping you safe #i have an enormous amount of feelings about orym #he's just so. quietly layered with both pain and life experience and there's a maturity there that is only challenged by his recklessness #and liam plays that 'informed by grief but not controlled by it (except in very certain situations)' so fucking well #orym of the air ashari #orym #fearne calloway #bell's hells #critical role #cr spoilers #cr meta #cr3

[dootznbootz]

I'm going feral again with a silly headcanon.

I just had that post on how Odysseus made Puzzles for himself and Penelope and I have another idea and I'm just really excited to share it lksdjf

I basically plan to have this man in love with Penelope within 10 mins (I HAVE A PLAN! It sounds crazy but I think it'll work. Plus these two are reckless and young when married. His first crush and he's not handling it well.)

This is them. Or at the very least Penelope is definitely playing it off very nonchalantly and is kind of messing around at first, thinking that the "trickster" is "not being genuine" when he's never been more genuine in his life. She can see right through all his lies and bullshit and basically forces him to be vulnerable, something he loves yet is TERRIFIED of. Especially as she "unmasked" him so quickly (and tricked HIM.😉 Won't say how. no spoilers yet) and so effortlessly and he's just a MESS. Athena isn't helping and just watches them both fumble around, even when Odysseus is asking for some guidance, Athena just smiles and is all like "I'm the Goddess of Wisdom, not of Love. Figure it out yourself." (PENELOPE IS JUST AS MUCH OF A BLORBO TO HER AS ODYSSEUS IS, YOU COWARDS!)

(Art by isei-silva right here on tumblr! Their post! )

I won't go into huge details. I WILL write this fic someday and I need to leave SOME things a surprise. But KNOW this man will be pulling out all the stops trying to impress her and tries to show all the things he's good at and one will be his "puzzle making".

He'll bring a puzzle to her TRYING to talk all "suave" (he'll be semi-tongue tied. Something that he's not used to and is annoyed that he can't seem to think around her)

It'll probably have a little gift inside and he'll be chatting away about how he worked hard to make it and that there's a trick to it and blah blah blah

Penelope: Oh! There's (some sort of treat or gift) inside!

Odysseus: Wait, you solved it already?

Penelope,🤨: Yes. All you have to do is this.

Odysseus, falling (more like sprinting at this point) further in love but also mad his plan to woo her didn't work: Well... Yeah. That's a gift for you.

He's trying SOOOO hard but he has to stop "showboating" to genuinely impress her. Man has to be fucking vulnerable for her to be impressed by him because she already can read his "tells" on when he's pulling something. No more "tricks". Be yourself, you fucking idiot >:D

#uygfidhsojhf I revealed a LOT already but I just??? I really love writing this man being a fucking mess and not knowing what to do #for once in his life. The man who “always has a plan” now DOESN'T know what to do and he's all feelings right now. #And Penelope has no time for tricks (unless she's the one pulling one). They've both met their match (in practically everything. Likeminded #remember?) and they're both excited and scared because #I'm a trickster. He/She is just like me. I desperately want this to be real but I know how good I am at tricking people. What if this is a #lie?“ BOTH have to stop ”tricking“ in order to truly bond. And then I get into the nitty gritty >:D #Like how Odysseus has to be vulnerable and sob about their bed to get her to believe it's him. They did the same in their youth. #It's a PATTERN for them at this point. #I love making this man simp and her realizing that this “trickster” IS genuine. This man actually loves her and that there's no “game”. #then it's HER turn to be a mess >:D #odypen #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #Hi. I'm vibrating from excitement and I don't know what to do.

[eebie]

i cant keep it hidden any longer

#i get nervousss n shit about gettin character voices all wrong #i spent all of yesterday worryin about if theyd say each others first names or last names or WHAT ! idkkk #i didnt write any more than this But i rlly rlly want to #basing this over the exact types of convos me n my friend have When i watch her play granny #i say dumb shit like ooohhh shes gonna get you Or why are you so mean to this old lady😢😢😢 to rile her up🤭 cos its funny #and then when i run out of things to say i start asking shitty would you rather questions like Would you rather make out with granny #or springtrap. would u rather have to be angel dust Hazbin hotel(she HATES him) or Pinkypills william afton (also HATES) #idk how id write that for these guys. ik theres gotta be a way though #my rambles #homestuck #writing feels more vulnerable than just my silly ass drawins Cos its lettin ppl peek in2 how i think n perceive shit . its intimidatinggg #but im posting it anyways !! ill fight off the urge to delete it the best i can #sayin all this Meanwhile it’s just a few lines from a pesterlog emulator LMAO . i take myself too seriously w stuff like this #rhas my problem i think . joviality come to me NOW! i am lighthearted and carefree about rhis #yaaaayayayaaayy!!!! #FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW. GRANNY IS A SHITTY MOBILE PUZZLE HORROR GAME. THE OG !!! #all the shit like Piggy on roblox. thats copying granny 😤😤😤😡😡😡 #my drabbles

[crybaby-bkg]

Incubus Dabi who is so used to being so charming and easy to slide inside the comfort of anyone’s bed, only to be brought to his knees by you—a succubus so old and grand and divine that he can’t even tell that you’re other. that you’re higher and greater than him in every way, shape, and form. that pins him so easily and makes him scream your name, gets him drunk enough on your scent and power that he forgets who, and what, he even is.

#wow that’s a lot of italicizations #but u get the point #I’m literally 9 weeks late but I finally got to the episode where he reveals that he’s touya #and HELLO I’m bouncing off the walls for him #had to pin myself down to keep from pulling my computer out and write something for him #only bc I have somewhere to be in the morning 😔 #but I wuv him and wanna write a million stories about him #I feel like he’s a character that you can do so differently ya know??? #like I can write him so cold and standoff-ish and so vulnerable and emotional and angry and even a lil sensitive #I just #am not normal about him sorry #he’s my bsf’s fav and she goes bonkers over him #but do you think she’d block me if I got fanart of us together 🫣 #the answer is actually yes and I’m so disappointed ☹️ #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #dabi treats! 🍬

[hamartia-grander]

so my general paranoia has always been pretty bad (hi ocd) but I thought it was more manageable the past few years as I've matured and gotten better at catching myself before I spiral, but recently (as in the past three weeks or so) it's been so bad that I do things impulsively as I'm spiralling without even realising it and it's been negatively affecting the way I perceive how friends think of me which I do NOT want to start happening again because that sucked. Idk why it's happening but I'd be grateful for any advice idrk what else to say about it.

#But anyways if you catch me acting really strange (more than usual) #or saying/doing things that seem overly docile or apologetic it's just another spiral don't worry about it #I genuinely don't know why it's gotten so much worse like I didn't change my meds I didn't change my diet I didn't change my habits #nothing crazy happened #I just have no idea #forcing myself to be vulnerable to my friends because I need help and it's about time I let people know that #affirmations certainly help but I feel so so bad asking for them like 'ohh I'm just fishing for compliments' or 'ohh I need someone to say #smthn nice every 6 seconds or I die' or 'ohhh I'm being so dramatic wahh' you know how it is #I at first thought it was just one or two occasions but no it's happened repeatedly consistently with ALL of my friends #and even coworkers and professors #I need to get out of my head I apologise to everyone who's ever had to deal with me spiralling #I promise I don't say the shit I do because I want you to feel bad for me I just genuinely in the moment am thinking that way #I know it's bad and after it's over I feel awful about it but idk what to do

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

#before i maybe get yelled at: #1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even #though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism #2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them #3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have #encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in #nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally #about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person. #4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces #and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too. #5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided #tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla #6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things. #7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl #i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know? #8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this #nyarla dni #<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks

[skunkes]

Your post about loving to study the beauty of the human body as well as wanting to love someone male while also be them is something I've been feeling for the past few years tbh but I've never heard someone put it in the exact words I use before. I think it's also because when it comes to topics like that I also feel embarrassed trying to explain a melded and complicated but beautiful emotion that doesn't have a word for it other than imagery in my mind

Sorry for the random soul post in your inbox but I get you! And that makes me happy

Also you're art is very cool and holds the very idea of human warmth and love within keep it up

responding to the compliment first, thank you!!!

as for the rest, yes! In the past I've definitely understood "love someone so much you want to crawl into them because hugging and physical intimacy isn't enough" as well as the usual "do i wanna fuck them or be them 🤪" sentiment floating around,

but it's not until very recently that I pieced together the, "well, what would I do if I literally got my hands on another [human being]. I'm not sure it would be enough to just Behold a [beautiful human being], I also want to be a beautiful [human being], but in the way this [person] is, which is. Unlike the way I am. Different from how I am. (In the many ways that can be interpreted)."

Which is adjacent to the "crawling into them", and adjacent to wishing I could be desired in the same way that I desire, and then directly connected to the way I am being genuine and casual when I say I love looking at and am in awe of the human form, but it's so very easy for that genuine love to slip into that intense and strange enthusiasm to map out, touch, explore, examine, open, crawl, meld, Be. Be!

#skunk mail #Anonymous #(all metaphorical of course; im not chopping anyone to pieces) #<- also actually saying this genuinely and not in a sneaky sarcastic way #im not chopping anyone to pieces AND i understand healthy boundaries. i obvs wouldnt actually just get weird with somebody #in such a vulnerable state. its meant more playful. you are human im human i dont feel human i want to be human #i want to touch you human i want to be you human. human like you. not human like me. #is it enough to admire you when i so badly want to be a human of your appearance...in some ways general and some ways specific... #...your usage of the word ''male'' also rings true. for some of this. augh. #long post #long ask #Another way to describe it is: I have made many posts about my feeling of isolation from my alleged hobbies... #it's never enough to just collect beautiful art from others or marvel at someone's skilled Print Making #How do you just admire? I want to do it too. I want to do it too. #and also i am looking back and forth from the dynamic with talon wrt these sentiments #scratching my neck and looking nervous #🌺

[mu5a]

i was debating adding different options but people tend to use more than one social media platform lol

#winx club #winx #but anyway i do lurk on the winx reddit page thingy and it’s a lot of the same recycled stuff. like how much they hate s4 #etc etc or about how toxic riven is or how much they hate bloom #i do understand that they are rewatching the show probably for the first time #i feel that everyone characterizes the characters different on different platforms #i think on twitter i saw someone describe musa as being one of the more levelheaded characters but imo musa is one of the most emotionally #driven characters!! but i do think being levelheaded is the persona musa wants to project to hide how vulnerable she is yk #anyway i feel that on tumblr people tend to be more forgiving and are more willing to analyze riven’s character #imo sky hate is pretty universal on all platforms #but i do feel that i am more bothered by this stuff cus ive been hyper fixated on winx for years #anyway just wanted an excuse to vent