#I always joke about how I want to get divorced but honestly? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldenwilliamson · 5 months

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hard conversations | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

summary: another angsty one featuring the game of 'we're not really strangers'. reader and leah end up having a fight about different feelings towards having kids and getting married. it turns out alright in the end but. does discuss poor relationship with parents/family.

word count: 1.9k

You and Leah sat down on the lounge, crossed legged and facing each other while you sipped on some wine. Leah's phone played music through the speaker and you had decided to play a little game that Leah had bought called 'We're Not Really Strangers'.

"So it gets us to ask each other thoughtful questions?" You asked, flicking through the red cards in the box.

"Yeah, it's supposed to help people feel more connected," Leah explained.

"Fun," you said, always happy to engage in a deep conversations.

You leant back on the lounge as Leah rifled through the cards, pulling out the first one.

"Alright, in one word, describe how you feel right now," Leah flicks the card with her other hand as she watches you expectantly.

"One word?" You sigh with a smile on your face, "Grateful."

"Grateful for what?" Leah asks.

"For a night in with you," you say, taking a sip of your wine. Leah lifts her glass off the coffee table and holds it out towards you.

As your glasses clink together Leah says, "I'm grateful for this too."

You're already enjoying this game, feeling excited over what questions might come up.

Your first question to ask Leah was 'How would you describe me to a stranger?'. She smirked as she let her mind wander.

"Well, I would say that you're the best footballer I've ever seen. You are the most loyal friend. You're the smartest person I know, and I learn so much from you daily. I'd say that you're the most beautiful girl in every room, and probably that you're great in bed," Leah says, making you laugh with her final statement.

"I mean, I hope you wouldn't tell a stranger about our sex life, but I'll take the compliment," you say proudly.

It's Leah's turn to pull a card again, this time asking 'What dating advice would you give your younger self?'. The question makes you both laugh, your dating history being almost a joke in your relationship.

"Stop dating boys, you're not attracted to them," you say with a laugh.

"Easy one for you," Leah shakes her head, tucking the card in the back of the pile.

It was your turn again and your eyebrows raise as you quickly glace over the question, "Ooh, deep one. What fear do you think holds me back the most?" You ask, unsure about what Leah might say.

She looks at you, as if weighing up how best to say what she wants to say.

"Honestly?" She raises her eyebrows, and you nod, urging her to continue.

"I think your fear of the future might be holding you back a little bit," she says, and you look into the wine in your lap while you process the words.

"What do you mean by that?" You ask, trying not to let your defences come up.

"Um," Leah rolls her lips together as she tries to find the best explanation.

"I just think whenever I try to bring up the future of our relationship you can shut down a bit," she says, and you nod.

You know she has a point. You being a few years younger than Leah, you struggled to envision those big life events like getting married or having kids. For you, all those events seemed rather inconceivable, especially since your own parents had gotten divorced and you don't have the best relationship with either of them. But for Leah, these were things that she desperately wanted, so when they came up in conversation, knowing it might cause friction, you tend to stay silent.

"You mean when we talk about getting married or having kids?" You question.

"Well when I talk about getting married and having kids, yeah," Leah affirms.

"I mean, that's just not really something I think about," you shake your head, not sure how else to explain that at this stage of your life marriage and children isn't a priority. Of course you love Leah and want to spend the rest of your life with her, but you have never felt like you need a ring on your finger or a marriage certificate for that to happen.

"But see, that upsets me Y/N," Leah places her wine glass back down on the table and you see her eyebrows knit together, frustration building. You sigh and copy her motions, placing your glass down as well.

"I see my future with you, and when you say that you don't think about it, it makes me feel like you don't want me to be a part of yours," Leah explains and you instantly reach out to grab her hands, rubbing them soothingly with your thumbs.

"Lee, I want you in my future. I love you so much, and I don't want to be with anyone else."

Leah gently tugs her hands out of yours, "But you don't want to marry me, or start a family. Those things are important for me!" She stresses.

You rub your face with your hands, "I understand they're important for you Leah, but right now at this stage of my life I don't want marriage and children."

"You don't want them now, or you don't want them ever?" Leah asks, crestfallen.

You pause, not knowing what how to respond without breaking Leah's heart, but it seems that you do that anyway. She sucks in her bottom lip and shakes her head before storming out of the lounge room and up stairs, distantly slamming a door as you stay seated with your head in your hands.

You're overcome with emotion, not knowing how such a lovely night could turn so sour. Wiping tears away you stand from the lounge and take the half full wine glasses to the kitchen and pour them down the sink, knowing your nice evening together was well and truly over. As you give them a rinse you try to collect your thoughts and work out how to approach this topic with Leah.

After setting the glasses down to dry you walk tentatively up the stairs, feeling nervous for how Leah might respond to you. Your bedroom door is shut and you knock lightly before turning the handle and pushing it open slowly. Leah is laying in bed, turned away from the door, giving you no response.

"Leah, darling, can we talk this out?" You ask, staring at the back of your girlfriends head and stepping into the room, closer to the bed.

"There's nothing to talk about," she says sharply.

"There clearly is," you respond as you sit down by her feet at the end of the bed. You reach out to squeeze her leg through the duvet but she scoffs and pulls away, sitting up so her back is resting against the headboard. She crosses her arms as she looks at you, waiting for you to continue.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you," you say, feeling genuinely sick to your stomach that Leah has gotten to this state. She just shakes her head.

"I just need you to know that while I don't see myself as a mother or married in the next couple of years, that doesn't mean it's off the cards for me," you say.

"But what if you're never ready for those things? I can't wait my whole life for you to want it Y/N," Leah sighs.

"Well, what if I don't want it?" You ask now, eyes welling with tears, terrified of what this conversation could lead to.

"I know how badly I want kids of my own one day, and how I want to start a family with the woman I love. But if you're not sure that you will ever want that, I'm not sure if we're right for each other," Leah says, voice breaking as she talks.

"See this is why I shut down when this comes up," you are unashamedly crying now, "I just need time Leah! I'm only 23 years old, how can you expect me to know this just now?"

You sob into your hands and Leah moves on the bed, crawling beside you to hold you against her. She wraps her arms around you and guides your head onto her shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into your back.

"I'm so sorry," Leah sighs into your ear.

"I don't want to lose you," you cry even harder as you vocalise your biggest fear.

"You're not losing me, I'm right here," Leah says, stabilising herself to comfort you in your obvious state of distress.

"You deserve someone who wants what you want," you say, gasping for breath between words.

"Shh, it's okay," she leans back to hold your face between both hands, trying to look you in the eyes. You pull your hands between Leah's, covering your face. She grabs your wrists gently and lowers them before wiping your damp cheeks with the cuffs of her jumper.

"I'm sorry, baby, you're right. I shouldn't expect you to give me an answer right now. I think just because I've always known what I want, I find it hard to imagine that it might be a more difficult decision for other people," Leah says, and you nod, knowing where she's coming from.

"It's just hard for me, you know, obviously you're close with your family so it's different. I've always been scared to get married and have kids because my parents had such a hard time with it all, and I'm not very close with them because of it," you say honestly.

"I know, baby, I understand," she says.

"But if I was to build a family with anyone, I'd want to do it with you, Leah. Do you know the first time I met your whole family I went home and cried," you admit, thinking back on that first Williamson family lunch where you'd felt so embraced by them.

"You cried! Why?" Leah says with concern.

"No, it was more happy tears. I'd just never seen a family that loved each other like you guys do, I guess I was crying for younger me who wished I could've had that type of upbringing."

"Oh, my girl, you'll always have that love from me and my family," she assures you.

"I hope so. And it brings me comfort knowing that any child of ours would be loved like that too," you say.

"Of course they would," Leah nods, pressing her forehead against yours.

"I just need you to know that I do want that with you Leah. Just probably a bit further down the line," you say.

"Okay, I can wait for that," she says.

You press your lips against Leah's and she kisses you back gently, apologetically.

"I love you," you say, and she says it back.

"But we're not playing that bloody card game again," you say, making Leah laugh.

"Hey, it did bring it closer didn't it?" She smiles and you shake your head. In some strange way it did.

You and Leah decide to call it a night, crawling under the sheets together. She holds you tightly against her, kissing you softly on the back and side of your neck as you both calm down from the heightened emotions. For the first time you do actually let yourself think about being a mother, and it isn't the scariest idea in the world. You fall asleep with ease in Leah's arms, feeling your future together stretching out before you.

#lionesses #woso x reader #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #awfc #lionesses x reader #woso community

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natti-ice · 2 months

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The Truth Will Set You Free- Tom Riddle.

Pairing: Tom riddle x fem!reader

Summary: a mysterious letter reveals Tom’s biggest secret.

Warnings: angst, written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1k words)

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

"YOU'RE MARRIED?!?" She yelled at him, watching the color drain from his face gave her the answer. Tom closed the book he had been reading peacefully as he lounged in a plush chair in his dorm room.

"What are you talking about, dear?" He swallowed, he saw Y/N holding a piece of paper in her hand, confusion and anger in her facial expressions. He had no idea how this could have got to her, barely anyone knew about this.

"I received this letter this morning" she started, showing him the paper she had been clutching onto for the past twenty minutes. "I don't know if this is some sick joke or if you've been lying to me this whole time. Tom, is it true?" She didn't know what to think, when she got the letter she thought it was someone trying to play with her. But as the letter went on it seemed too real

"Tom and I were wed the summer before his sixth year. Once he graduates we shall start a family together, I believe you deserve to know since there are talks of your attachment to him. Just know, this is how it has to be, he cannot be yours."

Reading this brought a sharp pain in her chest, she thought she knew the man she loved. She knew he had his secrets, but she wouldn't think he would withhold this from her. Her emotions were all jumbled into one, she didn't know what to feel.

"It's true," he said in a hushed tone, his head hung low like a dog being scolded. "You weren't supposed to find out this way"

"Like this? Or was I not supposed to find out at all?" Okay, it seems her anger has gotten the better of her

"Please let me explain, Y/N" Tom begged. His usual stoic demeanor had completely vanished, he had never let his emotions show this way, it made him feel weak.

"I don't know if I want to hear it, Tom. How could you do this to me?"

"I didn't do it to hurt you" he raised his voice as he became angry at himself "I figured if you knew, you would want nothing to do with me" he admitted

"You're probably right about that" she said sarcastically

"Y/N, please don't joke about this" he warned "if you'd let me, I'll explain to you everything that happened. Only the truth" his eyes met hers he could see the pain in them, that shattered his heart. When he met Y/N he knew he had found the only person in the world he could truly care for. She broke down every wall he tried to put up with ease, there was no way he could let her get away.

"Fine, go ahead" she whispered as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat

He sighed, calming his brain before proceeding to tell her about something that has eaten at him every day for the past two years. "At the end of my fifth year, my mother put me into an arranged marriage. I fought and fought to get out of it, but no matter what I said I couldn't get out. She paired me with some pure-blooded floozy who couldn't last a day without her father's money, the day of the ceremony was the worst day of my life. My mother expects me to have children with that girl and I honestly couldn't care less about that stupid girl." Talking about her put a bad taste in his mouth, he hated her with every ounce of his being.

"I just don't get why you didn't tell me" Y/N said during Tom's pause

"I didn't tell you because it's a part of me that I hate. Having my name attached to someone who I will never love, isn't something I'm proud of. When I met you, it was like that terrible situation was in the past and you were my future. For years I have been trying to find a way out of this marriage. I plan to divorce her as soon as I'm done with school." He felt slight relief as he finally got this off his chest, it always weighed heavy on him.

Y/N stood a foot away from Tom, as he explained his story her heart broke more, she had never seen Tom in such pain before, and it definitely wasn't a good feeling to watch. "What about your mother?" She asked

"I don't care about that woman! She hasn't a motherly bone in her body, once I'm done with school I'll never see her again" His hatred for his mother ran deep, Y/N knew he never liked his mother. She understood why, if she was her mother she'd probably feel the exact same way.

"Y/N" Tom reached for her hand, wrapping both his hands around her, bringing it up to his mouth gently kissing the back. "I am very sorry I never told you about this, I've never been good at telling the truth but that's no excuse. I promise you, you are the only person I will ever love." This is the truest thing to ever leave Tom's mouth

God, he's so beautiful she thought, searching for any trace he was lying to her. Sometimes she felt foolish thinking about how much she loved him, his hold on her was so strong. But she wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm so conflicted right now" she admitted, "but I believe you, you swear you want nothing to do with her?"

"Cross my heart, I would never dream of being with her" he brought his hand up to Y/N's cheek, slowly stroking it with his thumb. "You are the only person I want to marry" he whispered

"Good, because I don't think I'd like a life without you" she slightly grinned

"What if, when we're done at this tragic place, you and I run off together? We won't have to worry about anyone else, it'll just be us living our life together" Tom suggested

"That sounds like a very thought out plan, dear" she smirked "perhaps I might take you up on that offer" she leaned in, slightly pecking his lips

"You really have to get those papers signed, Tom. I am no one's mistress" she half-joked but he knew she was serious.

"Anything for you my dear"

Join a tag list!

#tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x fem!reader #tom riddle x you #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle fluff #tom riddle angst #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle

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radiant-reid · 2 years

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hopping on the hot wife bandwagon… can you reason a blurb of when it’s y/n and spencer’s wedding day and while they’re having dinner the team finally decided to ask the question they’ve been dying to ask forever, “so how the hell did you to get together?” and they all found out little spencer is actually smooth and flirty

yessss. also this is meant to have the same vibe as JJ's wedding

HIM ^^ always him

Sitting around a large table in Rossi's backyard with the BAU family is exactly where she wants to be for her first meal being married to the love of her life. It's peaceful, personal and nice to see all of her husband's colleagues relaxed for once.

Spencer's as perfect as the day they met, hair parted down the middle and held in place with gel rather than curls messy on top of his head. A thing that's never changed is how in awe of her he is, speechless whenever he looks at her for too long and constantly wondering how he'd ended up with everything he ever wanted sitting next to him.

"You doing okay, handsome?" She whispers, touching his shoulder as she leans over.

He's literally never been better. "Yeah, of course."

"No regret yet?" She jokes.

Spencer grins widely, shaking his head. "Never."

Before they can continue having their moment of intimacy, Emily draws their attention away from each other. "So I've got to know, how did Spencer actually manage to get with someone as hot as you?" She's definitely had a few too many, judging by her slurred speech and bluntness, but the team can't deny they're all thinking it. "No offense, Spence. She is way out of your league, though."

He scoffs playfully. "Thanks." He knows it's true, too, no one has the warm glow and gorgeousness that she has, but he's more than reassured that she's only in love with him.

"Tell us the story." Penelope insists also.

Y/n frowns. "I'm not sure there's much to tell." She admits. It had been one of the best days of her life, of course, but it was also probably the most ordinary day she'd ever had in her time knowing Spencer Reid.

"There's got to be something." JJ tries to nudge her to spill because none of them can imagine how it happened.

"Well, it was at a bar." Y/n starts, immediately stopped by the confused looks on everyone else's faces. "What?"

"Spencer at a bar? Without one of us dragging him there?" Morgan asks incredulously.

Spencer laughs, jumping in to explain that night from his perspective. "You did drag me there." Spencer points out. "You just left early... Jasmine, I think her name was?"

Everyone laughs at that, knowing Morgan's tendencies to be a ladies' man. "Spencer was, I don't know, suave, charming, smooth." She's looking for the right word, but each one doesn't seem impressive enough to describe him.

He's looking at her with puppy dog eyes, totally love-sick. "And handsome." He adds.

"The most handsome." She amends, but when she turns to see the team's reaction, she's shocked by how shocked they look.

"Did you just use the word suave to describe Spencer, or did I imagine that?" Penelope asks, her mouth lingering open. None of them can imagine it. Sure, he's endearing with his awkwardness, but he's terrible with women he's attracted to, to the point of aversion.

They also don't imagine her standards were low, not when she's so immaculate, which makes it even more puzzling that Spencer managed to land her.

Y/n nods. "Yeah." She answers. "He totally charmed me. Honestly, I worried he was a playboy, but I don't think I had any reason to worry."

"You definitely did not." Morgan agrees passionately before he can help himself. "I saw him flirt with a girl in a bar once, he sucked." He exposes Spencer.

"What?" Y/n asks, tipping her head to the side to look at her husband. "What happened to I never do this?" She presses him, voice dropping lower to mimic his from that night.

He holds up his hands defensively. "Technically, I was only successful once."

"When you divorce," Emily interrupts the playful retort Y/n's about to make. "Can I take you out, Y/n?"

Spencer giggles with Y/n at that, and the whole team joins in on the laughter when Morgan jumps in with his offer. "Nuh-uh, if she were going to date anyone else here, it would be me."

While they argue, she rests her head on Spencer's shoulder and whispers that she loves him and his smile only grows bigger.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb

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harrywavycurly · 25 days

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I love killer!eddie❤️ (actually all the Eddie's but yk)

I imagine Old Eddie telling Old Steve how apparently his wife knew all along and Steve is immediately comforting him expecting a divorce. Eddie's just like "No, man. She's inside making tea" and explains it all to him.

Do you think she knows Steve knows? Does she find out?

Hiii lovey!!! Honestly I feel like she’s always known that Steve had SOMETHING on Eddie she just never knew what until she put the whole “my husband is a serial killer” thing together so that’s when I feel like she knew that Steve was in on it but idk if she’d ever ask Eddie about it? But I will happily give you a little something where Eddie tells Steve that his wife knows, I hope you enjoy!! 💖

-find all things A Killer’s Love here✨

*this is a follow up to part 14 so in this Eddie and Steve are way older like 50’s*

“What are we doing here?” Eddie just ignores Steve’s groan as he takes a seat in an empty barstool. “This place is for people who don’t care they are getting served watered down liquor and stale beer.” Steve adds as he takes a seat next to Eddie at the bar, Eddie just smiles at the bartender as she places a beer in front of him. “You a regular here Munson?” Eddie just shrugs as he picks up the bottle and brings it to his lips.

“I sometimes moonlight as a bouncer here.” Eddie jokes before taking a sip and placing the bottle back on the bar.

“You joke as if it’s not a possibility…you could be like Sam Elliot in Road House.” Eddie laughs as a smile takes over Steve’s face at the thought of Eddie still managing to kick people’s ass even in his early fifties. “But really Eddie what are we doing here?” Eddie lets out a sigh before taking another swig of his beer just as the bartender places one in front of Steve.

“She knows.” Steve raises an eyebrow at his bestfriend as he looks in the direction of the bartender that just gave him a beer that he didn’t order.

“Who knows what now?” He asks as he looks back at Eddie who then turns so he’s looking Steve dead in the eyes.

“She knows.” He repeats and Steve feels his heart drop to his stomach as he realizes what he means. “Before you go asking me a thousand questions just know that she didn’t call the cops and she didn’t ask for a divorce.” Eddie explains as a look of pure shock takes over Steve’s face.

“She didn’t call the cops or ask for a divorce?” Eddie just shakes his head no before finishing off his beer and signaling the bartender for another one. “What did she say? Did she ask for details?” Steve asks as he runs a hand through his hair and reaches for his beer so he can take a long chug of it.

“She just asked if I took care of that Nick dude and I told her the truth because clearly she already knew and then she asked if he was the first and I said no and she said okay.” Steve nearly spits out his beer as Eddie finishes telling the story making Eddie roll his eyes at his dramatics.

“She just said okay? Like oh that’s fine honey now what do you want for dinner?” Steve mocks your voice as he speaks and Eddie gives him a warning glare letting him know he’s on thin ice if he keeps talking about you in that tone. “Sorry I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around her being okay with it.” He explains before taking another sip of his beer.

“I don’t think she’s okay with it Steve I think it’s more of a thing that she knows she can’t change it and I also don’t do it anymore so she doesn’t have to worry about it now so she just wants to move on because clearly when I was….dealing with people it didn’t get in the way of our marriage or she would’ve left my ass a long time ago.” Steve just nods his head as Eddie speaks and lets out a sigh of relief as he reaches over and pats Eddie on the back.

“I’ll give you that Eddie…you may be a retired serial killer but you’ve always been a great husband.” Eddie laughs as Steve brings his beer bottle over to clink with Eddie’s.

“Thanks Harrington.”

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thesupernaturalhouse · 2 months

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Damn yall are liking this Hazbins Fallen au- I'm glad!! Honestly I was hoping people would like it but like, still a shock you know-

Anywaysss, I am busy but figured I'd post some fact/headcanons of the au, aoke plot points, mostly surrounding Emily because she's the main change of the au

Emily has a pretty big sweet tooth, and when she does get sweets she always gets extra for Razzle and Dazzle

Again, I will say this, Vaggie, Charlie and Emily are wrangle and dazzles moms. Keekee is not counting as a child cause the seems more like. A ept while Razzle and Dazzle seem mroe sentient, at least to me

Charlie and Seviathans relationship, post break up ofc, is like Ron Swanson and Tammy 2s, no the uh- getting back together part but the '....she's here-' part, Charlie absolutely hates his guts and whenever he's near her more demon features come out as she looks around trying to spot him

Emily barely holds herself back from killing slaviathen, you'd think it'd be Vaggie, but no, it's Emily

Emily design resembles a succubus, it was by complete accident, she lieks the color of horns and didn't realize what it could resemble-

Emily absolutely hates Al but hides it ebhidn a cheerful smile, silent anger so to speak(she does end up snapping at Al and I am so excited to write that scene)

Husk is Emily's father figure I already have a whole chaoter planned surrounding how they bon, Emily calls him dad from that chaoter onwards

Angle constantly makes 'I fucked you dad' jokes, even if they aren't true, at Em cause he knows it pushes her buttons....she retaliated by buying water balloons and throwing them at him one day when he makes the same joke again

Husk just watches.

In the pilot, vaggie holds up her spear and Emily pushes it down like "...no, no..." the Katy says soemthing homophobic and she immediately moves her hand away and says "nevermind. Do what you want."

Emily hates waking up early, she's done it for YEARS in heaven she'll eb damned if she does it for more in hell (plus there's nobody on her about being on time to places)

You knwo that scene where Husk is calling everyone out? Well, he looks at Emily and goes "and SHES....well....I've got nothing on her, she's perfect" you can tell who his favorite is

Remember when angle brings them ti a bdsm club? Yeah, I've- I've got a FUN scene idea for that-

Screw shoes let charlie show her hooves- especially since I 70% sure that hoped animals have to walk on their hooves or else they risk a lot of different things so- yeah, I'm throwing away her shoes.

Also have her show sone more demon features, I love making designs so much- and of course their gonna be more animalistic, cause I love expanding on animal nosies and behaviors and stuff, it was always planned tho I didn't have a specfici bird in mind for vaggie until the hawk feather exorcists au, she also makes moth noises

I am going to have so much fun making their designs-

Also, Emily and Peter are best friends in this au, mlm and wlw solidarity when they go back up to heaven while Sera is tlaking Peter is jsut staring at her

'I know' she knows he knows....she silently promises to catch him up before the trial and he finally looks away satisfied

I feel liek while Emily would be very quick to accept husk is her father figure I think Husk would be a bit hesitant to accept that HE is a father figure

You know victor from lackadaisy? I dont knwo why but I kinda like to imagine husk as him- like I'm debating if I should make husk have had a daughter when he was alive who he didn't get to see cause of the divorce and turned to alcoholism slowly. And Em reminds him if her and that makes him SCARED

Fun little idea I had that I may or may not include, depends how I'm feeling honestly, I do wanna ta leats keep some things liek how 'gruff' he is and apply it to husk, idm I feel like their personalities are every similar, thoguh that might jsut be me-

Husk would teach Emily how to play Chess

Charlie knows Vaggie and Emily are angles and all that stuff, as I've said before. So I'm debating wether or not to keep Al's deal in, I think I will but tweak it a bit

I love Al, but he is an above avrage overlord at best, the only reason he was able to fight agaisnthe exrocists and Adam was due to them not being used to people attacking BACK and seeing it more as entertainment then actual hunting.

Anyways Em may or may not call him out casually on multiple occasions- 'he does realize if he fights Adam he'll die- oh, and there he goes called it!' She doesn't like him

Em was very much called 'lucifers replacement' by many angles, not Sera but even Sera soemtimes accidentally said lucis name instead of Ems at Keats a few times. Anyways she hates lucifer despite never meeting him and for soem reaosn never realized he was Charlie's father-

Al and Rosie are Charlie's uncle and aunt, foudn family my beloved

The reveal that Emily is Emily the seraphim....well, lets hsut say when revealing vaggie to be an exrocist doesn't work. lute notices how fimiliar Em looks..... it's gonna be a very interesting chaote rthats for certain

Speaking of the episode list- probably gonna alter them cut ep6 into 2 parts to, I'll make a diffeent post about it-

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel au #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel emily #hazbin hotel angle dust #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #chaggiem #chaggie #huskerdust #but its pretty minor. main focus is on the girls. as it should be!#hazbins fallen au

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trickster-archangel · 7 months

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During my h50 fast-forward rewatch I couldn't help but stopping on this very scene, because I'm sure the subtext is powerful here. It's all about subtext. It actually gives you the chills to read, now, comments written on fanfics dealing with this specific episode, because so many of us were damn sure Steve was foreshadowing his death because of radiation poisoning (which, honestly? Would've made sense, so damn sense, considering the framing of this scene. And it wouldn't have left such a HUGE plotline open. Not that I want Steve dead at the end of s10, but you know....consistency...).

Anyway I tried to read this scene in a different light, knowing that Steve already knew he was thinking about taking a leave, going away from Hawai��i, finding himself, and he didn’t know how to tell Danny. Danny who already KNEW something was wrong, something was afoot, and Steve was definitely fucked up.

Don't focus on Steve, here, nor on his words — because now it's clear, so damn clear and painfully obvious he's not talking about sunsets: you get sunsets everywhere (even in Montana, while your father-figure is dying in your arms...and fuck you all if now sunsets will always be a cliche metaphor for death), so it's not really like you'll miss these specific Hawaiian sunsets. The only sun, the only sunshine he's ever had in his life is Danny. His Danno. So the only thing he'll miss, truly miss, while he searches for answers around the globe, will be his Danno. And that’s why he's so ready to agree when Danny tells him to visit New Jersey. He's basically telling Danny that even if he's the constant in his life, he's never taken him for granted, and that he's the thing he'll miss the most.

No. I'm not focusing on the obvious, here.

I'm seeing only this: Danny's face in the third gif. That's not a relaxed, tired, maybe annoyed-at-the-impromptu-feelings-dumping face you'd expect. He's just told Steve he's there for him, whatever he needs to say or talk about. Dammit, he's asked Steve to confess what's tormenting him!

No. Look at the strained lines around his eyes. Look at his furrowed brow. Look at his grimace, barely restrained.

Don't forget Danny's a detective. A hell of a good detective. By those seemingly innocent words alone, he's already understood Steve is going away. Maybe he only feels it in his guts — but he knows he's going to lose Steve. And that’s exactly why, in answer to Steve's heartfelt, gloomy words, all Danny can do is draw from his most reliable coping mechanism: joke. He jokes about squirrels and dinner. Because he doesn't known, literally has no clues, how to cope with the idea that his main dude is leaving him.

Danny knew Rachel was going to divorce him the day they married. He knows.

#h50 #h50 10x19 #mcdanno #steve mcgarrett #danny williams #yes I'm suffering so you have to suffer too #mcdanno meta #mtmcd

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useless19 · 5 months

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Do you think Bowser has hinted at marriage once in awhile randomly or do you think he's chilled out about rushing things finally. Sure he was pretty dead set on marrying the Princess not only from his own interests and political benefits but prehaps abandonment issues caused him to see marriage as mostly a way to insure himself they wont leave him since it a final say writen on papers? (divorce exist but if you got unspoken issues the smaller details are usually ignored)

Honestly I've always been fascinated by peoples take on Bowsers possible attachment or abandonment issues

He absolutely has.

"Or I could just lock you in the dungeon when it's time for you to go back," Bowser said. He laughed when Luigi started to protest. "I know, I know. No kidnapping. It was a joke." -Bowser, in the middle of planning Luigi's kidnapping.

I imagine a lot of the earlier proposals got passed off with a similar 'I'm joking' sort of thing. But because Luigi's still got fairly low self-esteem, he takes Bowser's word when he brushes off Luigi's bemusement with a 'I'm not being serious' or the like whenever Luigi comments on a pretty place and Bowser hints that it might be a good place to have a wedding.

Ultimately, Days!Bowser had a (at his best) distant dad, a mum who died when he was barely old enough to remember her but not young enough to have not remembered her at all, and some relatives who couldn't be around very often for their own safety. And then he only reinforced that by kidnapping people. So yes, he sort of thinks that marriage will make someone stick around (and it did during the main plot!).

(I considered going for a Bowser who lost both his parents at a terribly young age (playing into the fact that some of the Yoshi games refer to him as King Bowser, even though he's a pretty young kid), but a Bowser who has literally never been accountable to anyone is going to be different to the Bowser I was putting together for Day 7/9.)

Anyway, this means it comes as a shock the first time Bowser goes all out on a proposal. Luigi is not a fan of surprises or being the center of attention, and Bowser's not going to half-arse something as important as a proposal. It'll be loud, there'll be a crowd, and Luigi's going to have the frightful time of figuring out how to say 'no' without Bowser assuming that's the end of the relationship. (He doesn't do great).

Luigi escapes the resulting fiery chaos and retreats to his room. He feels awful and has some miserable thoughts on whether or not this relationship is viable if they keep having stuff like this happen. (It's not been that much that often, Luigi's just spiralling here). He gets ready for bed automatically, but doesn't get any sleep.

And trying to figure this out turned into just writing fic... It's first draft, but here you go.

Luigi yelped when his bedroom door slammed open. Bowser stomped in, only to stop short when he noticed Luigi.

"Knock, please," Luigi said.

"You haven't escaped yet?" Bowser said.

Luigi clutched the heavy book he'd been trying to use to send him off to sleep. "Do I have to escape?" he asked carefully.

"Not yet," Bowser said. He began to pace around Luigi's room.

Luigi put the book aside and laced his fingers together. It was hard to even know where to start. How were you supposed to tell your partner that you weren't ready for marriage when they so obviously were?

"I'm sorry I messed things up," Luigi said.

"You should be," Bowser snapped.

Luigi flinched. Bowser stopped pacing and took a deep breath.

"I'm furious," Bowser said on the out breath.

"I'm sorry, I -"

"You said you wouldn't leave without telling me why," Bowser said, looming over Luigi.

"Do you want me to leave?" Luigi asked.

"What? No!"

Luigi patted the bed next to him. Bowser huffed. Instead of sitting next to Luigi on the mattress as Luigi had intended, Bowser slumped to the floor and leant his head on his folded arms on the bed.

"I don't want to leave," Luigi said.

"Then why didn't you say yes?" Bowser asked, a note of hurt in his voice.

"Because I don't want to get married yet," Luigi said. "It's a lot to say yes to. It's a huge decision."

"Figures I managed to bag the one mushroom person afraid of commitment," Bowser grumbled. "What do you think a relationship is except a precursor to marriage?"

Luigi hadn't considered it like that. "I don't know. There's still a lot we haven't talked about with... us and everything it entails."

"The proposal can be a surprise but the engagement shouldn't be," Bowser said.

Luigi blinked in surprise. "Exactly. Where did you hear that?"

"Can't remember." Bowser shrugged, knocking Luigi off balance.

Luigi lifted his hand to put it on Bowser's arm then hesitated. Would his touch even be welcome right now? When he dropped his arm, he caught sight of Bowser's red eye watching him.

"Hate me so much you can't stand the thought of touching me?"

"No." Luigi braced himself. "Do you hate me?"

Bowser closed his eyes. "I asked you to marry me a few hours ago, what do you think?"

"I think a lot of people would hate someone for saying no."

Bowser huffed and reached out to pat Luigi's leg. If he wanted to hurt Luigi, it would have been so easy, but he didn't. Luigi reached forward and threaded his fingers through Bowser's coarse hair. Something he hadn't realised was tense relaxed as Bowser gave a rumble of contentment.

"Was it just a no?" Bowser asked. "Or was it a not now? Because it felt like the former, but you waffled a lot before you got there."

"That's it exactly," Luigi said, relieved beyond measure at finally getting the right words. "I don't want to get married now, but I might change my mind in the future."

The lateness of the hour hit Luigi and he was unable to stifle his yawn. It must have been gone midnight by now. Tomorrow was looking better than it had been, but too little sleep wouldn't help anyone.

"We should probably try to get some sleep," Luigi said, untangling his fingers from Bowser's hair with a pang of disappointment. "Would you stay with me, tonight?" he blurted out before he could wimp out of asking for what he wanted again.

"In here?" Bowser waved at Luigi's quite-big-for-Luigi-but-small-for-Bowser bed.

"If that's okay?"

Bowser crawled onto the bed. There really wasn't much room for Luigi, but he'd spent enough time in too-narrow or too-short beds on adventures that he could probably doze off. Bowser curled his hand around Luigi's body. Luigi put his hand over Bowser's finger.

Heavy, absurdly long breaths were becoming a welcome sound to drift off to. Luigi snuggle down, enjoying the extra warmth a fire-breathing Koopa added.

"How long will it take before you're ready?" Bowser asked in a tone that he'd probably meant to be casual but missed by miles.

How long did it usually take before people were comfortable taking the next step in a relationship like this? Luigi had known people with whirlwind engagements who would have had a kid already on the way at this point, and others who had been together more than five years before they even hinted at marriage.

And it didn't matter how other people did it, Luigi had to figure out what worked for Luigi.

"I don't know," Luigi said. He clutched Bowser's fingers. "If I try to pick a date, then I don't know if I'll be ready by then and the extra anxiety over whether or not I'll be ready by then will probably just make it take longer. And I don't think you'll do very well with a specific date to get your hopes up for."

Bowser grumbled unhappily, but didn't disagree. Luigi rubbed Bowser's claw with his thumb and was relieved when Bowser gave him a gentle squeeze in return.

"I can promise that when I'm ready, you'll be the second person to know," Luigi said.

"After Mario?" Bowser said, disgruntled.

"After me," said Luigi.

Bowser laughed sleepily.

#bowuigi #days #fanfic #ask #this got long #would've loved to work in Luigi making a comparison between his certainty that no one likes him with Bowser's certainty that everyone leave #but i couldn't figure out where to fit it in #(first draft problems)#(who knows that it would even make sense here)

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spirit-of-the-chaos-gospel · 1 year

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My thoughts on John Mulaney & the Baby J special

There’s so many places I could start but it doesn’t matter because this is definitely gonna be long af.

So. I’m not exactly clear on what exactly the beef with Mulaney is. Here’s what I have heard:

People are upset about his addiction and stay in rehab. Honestly, I don’t understand why this is even a reason to be angry at someone. Parasocial relationships really have y’all pissed at this one man for something a lot of celebrities have done, are doing, and will continue to do. Dumb reason to vilify him.

Divorcing his wife and having a baby with another woman even after saying he didn’t want children. Okay, if he did cheat on his wife, that’s fucked up and he sucks for that. Another ‘my wife’ guy down the drain. But whether he cheated or not, the reason his marriage fell apart is not our business. Stop taking it personally.

Dave Chapelle transphobia when he opened for JM. Alright, I’ll give you this one. I don’t know the details (honestly I don’t really want to go looking for them), so I’m not going to say whether it did or didn’t happen and how bad it was. I’m a genderqueer person and it makes me sad that Mulaney may have knowingly let that joke happen. I wish he would say something.

I found Baby J comforting in a weird way. I went into it wondering if he was going to address any of the shit that happened in the past few years; I was thrilled to see that that is literally all the special was about.

Someone on tumblr said “John Mulaney is a piece of shit, but he’s still the funniest motherfucker out there” and dude. Yes. As always, his comedic timing was incredible.

Baby J made me laugh so hard. There was some killer lines in there that nearly knocked me out; his vibe is truly different, but there’s also still that token Mulaney dry humor. It reminded me why I took so much comfort in his past specials as a teenager, because his sarcasm and wit have never failed to make me smile. As I watched the special, I found myself relieved that he was back, happy that I have new John Mulaney content to meme about.

Don’t get me wrong, Baby J was not as raw and brutal as Bo Burnham’s Inside. If Mulaney had tried to make it like that, it would’ve been disingenuous and boring. He was true to his own humor and I things that’s really important.

Everything he said was blunt and honest. I noticed that he was genuinely laughing at his own jokes and the memories he was recounting. I don’t think anyone ever realized how truly buttoned up and rigid he was onstage in the last specials because we were all “hehe funny man runnin around”. Isn’t that wild? Suddenly he’s showing his real self, and I think that’s incredible. He’s imperfect and uncomfortable and that’s not something we haven’t gotten to see in celebrities very often.

I can’t speak from experience with addiction because I’ve never had an addiction. But I do understand that it’s a remarkable thing to overcome. I’m really happy for John Mulaney, and I’m very glad he’s doing better. Hopefully we’ll see some more improvement in him from here. I wish we could’ve gotten to hear more about what happened with his wife and the baby, but like I said that’s not really our business.

“When I’m alone, I realize I’m with the person who tried to kill me.” Okay but that one felt very personal, I won’t be taking questions.

TLDR; I think parasocial relationships are a big part of why people are pissed at John Mulaney, and we all need to recognize that. He’s a human being and he’s allowed to fuck up. Baby J was an incredible show from start to finish and I will be watching it a million more times.

#I’m probably going to get hate for this #but oh well #i stand by what i said #john mulaney #baby j #spirit rants

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afyrian · 10 days

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ch. 5 - november 1 masterlist

"'how is married life going?' well, chat, it's interesting! i mean not much has changed, taxes were weird that's for sure," you sit in your office chair, one of your legs crossing the other, "but we've always been roommates so nothing different."

you search the screen, tossing a piece of grass into a lake of lava. minecraft isn't necessarily your best game, rin having only briefly taught you for a stream. however, sometimes, on a calm evening, you like to play a game and interact with your followers. especially when they start getting engaged with both the game and your conversations.

a new donation pops up on your second screen, the iconic voice reading out 'do you plan on admitting if the marriage is actually real...'. you widen your eyes, watching as the rest of the chat comments on the romance between the two of you. the countless videos, the closeness of the two of you, faking a wedding for a video. it just seemed all too much like coincidence for the people of twitch.

"no, no, trust me! i do really love rintarō, but the marriage was ultimately for a joke. it was my idea to do it and he was totally up for it. the only part really messing with the both of us was when it was revealed we couldn't get divorced," you shrug, shaking off the idea of legitimately being married to rin.

it wouldn't be bad, you figured. he was your first kiss (to make your crush jealous at the time), your closest friend, the one person you could binge a five hour youtube video essay with. being legitimately married with rin would be perfect, the only part would be him wanting to be married to. because truthfully you could never imagine him liking you like you like him.

the comments continue spewing the idea that the two of you just don't want your relationship publicly on the internet. now, of course you'd want to keep most of your relationship personal, but it's hard to ignore the thought of the two of you kissing for a video. "chat, if rin and i were to ever actually date or get married, you'd be like the last to know. so how about we leave it alone and play a little minecraft?"

you've very rarely had to put everyone in your comments in their place. however, the begging to know about your personal life with your closest friend strikes an annoying chord within you. especially if you don't know if you'd ever want that type of thing with him. but if you ever did, you don't want chat ruining that for you. luckily enough, the rest of your stream went as normally as it typically does.

when you take off your headphones, you can feel yourself already gaining some energy back. you love what you do, but sometimes answering all of those questions while concentrating on something else can drain you. so, you do what you always do after an honestly draining day.

you make your way into the kitchen and grab a few stacks, tossing them into a bowl and walking into the living room. on the couch sits rintarō who is binging another new show, feet resting on a small ottoman. when he notices you enter the room, he scoots over some to let you on.

"how was the stream?"

"okay? i don't know, i just hate how incessant they can be on stuff they know nothing about. like our 'marriage', which they all assume was real and that's why we aren't divorced. like that's none of their business," you rant, unaware of rin having paused the show to bring his full attention to you.

like normal, you lay down on the couch, resting your feet on his lap. “well, i could always say something to my subscribers,” rintarō looks over at you, resting on of his hands on the top of your socks.

“you would? i don’t want to force that on you, i just feel so frustrated,” you frown, crossing your arms over your chest with just enough of a force to really show your feelings.

“yeah, absolutely. i mean it sucks that we need to, because we’ve said all that we’ve need to say, but i’m willing to do that for you. for us,” he shrugs, his hand rubbing the top of your feet in a soothing motion.

the stress leaves your system and you find yourself closing your eyes in relaxation. you open your eyes and peer over at the screen. on it is a new show that you’ve been meaning to watch, rin having just started the first episode. as soon as he sees the look on your face, he starts the show over and rests his cheek onto his fist.

a/n: sorry this took so a bit longer than normal!!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #the longest contract #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintarō #suna rintaro #suna x reader #haikyuu suna #haikyuu fanfic

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faesystem · 8 months

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You know when you see a post that just. Really indicates so clearly none of these people have ever known anyone who is polyamorous nor bothered to learn anything about it.

There was a post about how they should legalise polyamorous marriages for all reasons, but also because they want to see what polyamorous divorces look like. Someone else reblogged with the image of Charlie Day next to that mail wall with the threads, captioning it with, "Divorce Lawyer."

Honestly, a bit funny.

But the notes are just... Filled with people who genuinely have no idea about anything to do with polyamory, who's only experience with polyamory is joking about it and making fun of Mormons.

Sure, joking about breakups happening like voting someone off the island is funny and all, but those jokes are all people know about it. It makes trying to exist as a polyamorous person so frustrating. Especially when it is jokes centred around our marriage inequality. If you are going to make jokes about something that majorly impactful to our lives, perhaps know the first fucking thing about polyamory.

I have never met someone who I have told I am polyamorous that did not know anyone else who was polyamorous who did not have assumptions built on these sorts of jokes. Especially in regards to explaining that no, I am not dating all of my partners' partners, and even if two of my partners are dating our relationships are separate. My relationship with each of them and theirs with each other have actually nothing to do with each other. It blows their minds and it is such a basic part of polyamory. The majority of the people I know are polyamorous, and none of them have any relationships where they date multiple partners as a sort of joint relationship.

People look at polyamory through such a monogamist lens that they do not actually seem to conceptualise it as multiple relationships that co-exist. Whenever I clarify that no, it is not a 'singular' relationship containing more than two people, I always get looked at like I have uprooted their entire worldview. This revelation is almost followed by enquiring how I do not get jealous.

I do. That is a part of life. I get jealous of my friends' friends too. I just process those emotions on my own time, and communicate if these emotions are stemming from specific behaviours of theirs. (Such as, for example, them not making time to speak with me but making time to speak with other partners.)

It is not that the question of how to manage jealousy that really bothers me (it does bother me though), but the idea that it would not exist if you frame polyamory from the point of view of it being a single relationship with multiple people. It just speaks to how these people have never even begun to learn the first thing about polyamory. It is not as though there are not people who's relationships function like that, but it is that it is the hardest form of polyamory to maintain. You need to have good communication so everyone is on the same page about everyone's relationship with everyone else all at the same time. A and B's relationship, A and C's relationship, B and C's relationship, and any more is all one relationship. That is so much harder than all of those relationships being their own separate ones co-existing. If A and B have a problem, it is also a problem with A and C and B and C and whoever else there is.

Yet so many people are just functioning under the mindset that that is what polyamory is, and the idea that it not being one relationship (as in, like monogamy) that has multiple people in it is so confusing and hard to understand is just. What right do you have to be joking about our marriage inequality if you don't even know what you're joking about?

#Mod Tim (He/Him)#Rant #polyamory #polyamorous #polyam #nonmonogamy #vent #marriage inequality #Queer Subection

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sunlightmurdock · 2 years

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Ceasefire | Prologue | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Masterlist | Next Chapter

Synopsis: Bradley Bradshaw is in San Diego, summoned to Top Gun for the first time. Commander “Hyde” Simpson is his flight instructor, and she doesn’t have time for schoolboy crushes.

Warnings: ex-husband!beausimpson, divorce, age gap (rooster is somewhere between 26-28, reader is 38), will be smut, swearing, angst, power imbalance between instructor and student aviator

…

“I want a divorce.”

The words ring in your head as you tap the heel of your boot against the leg of the desk. What kind of woman leaves her husband of fifteen years with those words and then just goes to work like it’s a normal day?

Truthfully, you feel like a monster.

You were at your breaking point. The words had been on the tip of your tongue for bordering a year now. This morning was, quite simply, the final straw. Your daughter was sick - someone had to stay home to care for her until your mother could arrive to take over. Either you would have to miss the first day of class for this year’s Top Gun - a programme you had been in charge of for three years now - or, your husband would have to push back his morning meeting.

It had caused a huge argument.

Beau was a hardass. You had known this before you married him. Honestly, it was one of the things you had loved about him. His unwavering devotion to the things that meant the most to him.

As your marriage had progressed, as you had navigated raising two children with him, the man that you loved had been left behind. In his place was Beau. Not Cyclone, the devoted Top Gun graduate you had fallen in love with. Just Beau.

“Ma’am?” You flinch as knuckles rap against the wooden door frame to your right. That’s how you know that you’re wound especially tight this morning. You’re usually very aware of your surroundings, and it’s hard to make you jump after fifteen years of Naval service.

It’s a relief to see the softness on Bernie’s face when you look up. He must not know. Beau must not have told him yet. “They’re ready for you down in Hangar A.”

You smile. Just the corners of your lips quirk. It’s polite and nothing more. “Thanks, Hondo. I’ll be right there.”

He nods and leaves you to it. You give yourself a few more moments of reflection, of mourning. You hope that Beau will understand, one day, exactly how much it took for you to be driven to this.

Then, you push yourself up from your desk and head downstairs. It’s the same drill every year. Someone - usually Bernie - will introduce you, you’ll enter from the back of the hangar and then turn to face your new students at the front, each time met with a variety of smug and scared-shitless young faces.

Same as always. One foot in front of the other, turn and smile.

“Good morning, aviators.” Your speech is the same every year. You’re running on fumes today, after being up all night with Taylor while she was puking, but you speak confidently nonetheless. The last thing you want is for one of these little shits to think they’ve got you rattled on the first day of class.

You’ve worked exceptionally hard to get to where you are. Sure, the field is becoming less and less male dominated by the day - but you haven’t had it easy.

At this point in your career, you’ve heard just about everything someone could throw at you. Whether that’s comments about your body, jokes insinuating that you’re sleeping with senior officers - which only got worse after you happened to marry a senior officer - or, outright misogyny. You haven’t let it hold you back.

You’re an acomplished pilot and you’ve been a top gun instructor since you came back to work after the birth of your youngest child. No one can claim you haven’t worked hard to be where you are today.

“Welcome to North Island.” And then you look at him.

He’s hard to miss even if he isn’t sitting right at the front. He’s on the left in the middle, sitting next to a dark-haired woman who’s already tapping her pencil on her notebook impatiently. He’s handsome - that’s not a first, that isn’t what stuns you. What stuns you is the fact that he’s blushing.

You can tell that he’s tall, even when he’s sitting. He’s got a very 80s approach to facial hair; you almost want to smile amusedly when you clock the neatly groomed ‘stache above his top lip. He’s got the sweetest brown eyes, and he has mastered the puppy-dog stare. You know that he’s probably got girls hanging on his every word regularly.

Not in the same way that you expect the mouthy-looking blonde chewing on a toothpick to have girls. Just in the sense that he’s impossible not to look at when his cheeks flush that pretty shade of pink and his eyes are practically glimmering when he’s looking at you.

You take a deep breath before you continue with your lecture. He blinks finally. Then, when his eyes reopen and he finds that you’re still looking at him, he smiles.

Cheeks still flushed, pretty brown eyes crinkling at the sides, curls falling down just slightly onto his forehead. Grinning right at you.

Now, you’ve dealt with crushes before. It just seems to be part of the deal - it might as well be in the contract when you sign on to be an instructor. It hasn’t ever phased you.

Watching the young pilot sitting in the middle row, you can see the exact moment that he decides he’s in love with you. He thinks that you don’t know, he thinks that he’s cool about it - you know. It’s so obvious. He might as well be doodling your name and his name on the desk in front of him.

You’re thirty-eight now. You’ve been married since your mid-twenties, you’re secure in the fact that you’ll be happier with your husband than one of those hot-shot young guns could ever imagine making you.

Only, your husband doesn’t make you happy anymore. Soon, you won’t have a husband at all.

You turn away, angling your body towards the right side of the classroom and you begin your lecture. Each time you glance in his direction for the remainder of the intro session, he’s staring at you with the same look in his eyes. The same flush to his cheeks. The same longing he’s going to be feeling all damn summer.

Bradley Bradshaw. You snicker when you read his file at the end of the first day. His parents must have had a sense of humour to curse him with a name like that. You stay late at work that night, flicking through the pages of his file. Half because you’re interested and half because you don’t want to have to face the man you’re leaving behind.

Still, after an hour or so of mulling through information about your newest prized pupil — they always perform well when they have a crush on you — you decide to head home. Taylor’s sick and she’s going to want her Mommy.

She’s on the couch when you arrive home, wrapped in a blanket.

“Hi, honey.” You smile as you drop your bags in the entryway and cross into the living room to kneel at her side. She smiles tiredly at you.

“Grandma said you wouldn’t be home until after my bedtime. She owes me ten bucks.” Your five year old daughter tells you happily. You chuckle softly and stroke a hand over her cheek. She’s burning up.

“Is Grandma still here?” You ask, trying not to let you smile falter too much despite your growing concern.

“No, Daddy’s in his office. He said to call Dylan if I needed anything.” She holds up the house phone from beside her. You fight back any physical display of your frustration. You stroke her hair back gently off of her face.

“Okay. Have you had dinner yet?”

“Yeah. We had McDonald’s.” She tells you. She would never lie to her Mommy. Unlike her older brother, who seems to be doing that more frequently as he gets closer to becoming a teenager. Your lip quirks. So much for the soup packed with veggies you had suggested to her Grandma.

“Alright, well, you finish your movie. I’m going to go and talk to Daddy and then I’ll come put you to bed.” You kiss her forehead gently and push yourself up. Beau’s office is at the back of the house with a view over the yard - he spends a lot of his time in there these days. You don’t grant him the courtesy of knocking on the door.

Maybe if he had bothered to check your five year old’s temperature or sit with her while she was sick, you would have knocked. Maybe if he did things like that you wouldn’t be divorcing him.

Beau pushes himself back from the desk slightly and lifts his chin to look at you. He’s sitting behind the stupid, way too big, solid oak desk he bought a few years back after he was made an Admiral. There’s a moment of silence when you stare into the eyes of the man that you loved.

“Did you mean what you said this morning?” He asks.

“Yes.” You don’t hesitate for a minute.

A muscle in your husband’s jaw ticks. He inhales deeply, then looks at you with a coldness you haven’t seen before. “So you just don’t care about what this will do to the kids?” It’s a low blow. He knows that you would lay your life down for those children a million times over. He also knows that people always question on how good of a mother you could possibly be with how much you work.

You press your lips together and step inside, closing the door behind you.

“I know that they deserve to see their mother happy.” You’re just as cold as he is. He isn’t going to change your mind.

“And I don’t make you happy?” Beau asks. He seems to be in genuine disbelief. You feel guilty about that. Maybe there had been room for recovery before, but it’s past that now. You can’t stay.

“No. You don’t.”

Beau swallows, then nods his head. There’s a look in his eye that tells you that he isn’t going to make this easy.

And he doesn’t.

Beau drags it out as much as he can.

It makes you glad that all of your investments are in your own name. That means you don’t have to wait for the divorce settlement to be able to move out.

You tell your children first. Beau refuses to be there for it. Refuses to acknowledge any of it, actually. You sit alone and tell your five year old daughter and eleven year old son that sometimes things like this just don’t work out. You tell them that they are so loved. That things won’t be too different.

Truthfully, you think that that last part is bullshit. You hope that things will be different.

You navigate life with two grieving children, an exceptionally cold husband, and fifteen students for the next four weeks. By mid-June, Bradley Bradshaw has made his crush on you known.

At first, he was coy about it. Longing looks, perpetually flushed cheeks, nervous tapping on his desk when you spoke to him directly.

By week two, he stopped by after class and introduced himself to you personally. Like you hadn’t been flying with him for five days straight already. That made you smile. Laughing at him, rather than with him - but smiling nonetheless, which was something.

“I know who you are, Lieutenant Bradshaw.” You scoff, leaning back in your desk chair. You tilt your computer screen slightly so that he doesn’t catch a glimpse of you googling San Diego real estate.

You never mention to anyone exactly who your husband is - they usually put two and two together eventually - you don’t see any need to give your students more fuel to gossip by letting them know you’re getting divorced.

You have, however, stopped wearing your wedding ring.

“No, I know. I know you know my name, I mean.” He stumbles over his words. It’s enthralling to watch this man embarrass himself in front of you like this.

Bradley fidgets in the doorway to your office. He takes a long step inside until he’s on the other side of the desk. He has noticed the absence of wedding ring this week. He’s handsome in his khakis. He’s just as tall as you expected him to be.

Your first impression of him has proven to be accurate so far. Just another shy, young pilot with a schoolboy crush on his instructor.

It’s a shame. If you were ten years younger, you would be all over him. But, you aren’t.

“I just… wanted to see if I could help you out with anything.” He thinks he’s a genius for playing the extra-credit route. You smile at him, amused. You’ve seen this all before.

“I’ll be fine, thank you.” You answer him calmly.

“No, I know - but… but if you needed like anything, I could give you my number-“

You squint at him. Terracotta spreads up onto his cheeks.

“I don’t think that that would be terribly appropriate, Lieutenant.” Rooster listens to the amusement in your voice. He feels embarrassed for trying for a split second. Then he thinks back to his time in his new apartment with his fellow students.

Last night, the three young men had been sitting in their make-shift, ninety-percent-ikea, living room and just talking about girls. Rooster has slept around a little. He went to college. He experimented. He has experience. It isn’t like he’s a virgin.

Sure, maybe Jake and Javy have a little more confidence to them - but his experience so far is on par with theirs. The issue is that Rooster can’t close. He can’t seal the deal. Now, usually, this isn’t a problem. He’s not a bad looking guy, girls his age flock to him. He doesn’t have to work hard to get attention from girls his age.

But you, now you’ll barely even look him in the eye.

Rooster declined to give names when he told his roommates that he had his eye on someone in class. They assumed he was talking about Natasha. That’s their fault, not his. Normally, Rooster wouldn’t take advise from two guys who had recently had a fifteen minute conversation about whether or not cleaning the lint trap in the dryer was important, but this was urgent.

He needed you to like him.

Their advice wasn’t that bad. He had heard it before, but never considered applying it to his love life. Fake it ‘til you make it - that old chestnut. “Women like a man who they know can show them a good time. Without confidence, you might as well be her little brother.”

Bradley’s standing on the other side of your desk and looking you in the eye. He has been for a few seconds now. You begin to wonder if you had upset him with your last comment. Rooster lifts his broad shoulders in a nonchalant shrug.

“Maybe not,” He acknowledges the inappropriate nature of his feelings for you. Tilts his head to the side and swipes his tongue across his bottom lip. “But I would really like to be someone that you can count on, Commander Simpson.”

His voice is already pretty manly, it’s deep and velvety most of the time. There’s a gravel to the way he says your name.

You raise an eyebrow at him. This is fairly bold for someone standing in front of you and blushing even now.

“Are you flirting with me, Bradshaw?”

He grins. It’s boyish and fun, yet the glint in his eye lets you know that he’s so much more. This time, you’re the one blushing. You refuse to admit that, settling into your best poker-face.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He rests a palm onto the other side of your desk, leaning in closer. He smells like men’s cologne. You’ve been flying all afternoon so you know he put that on especially to come and see you. He smells divine. You’re close enough to see the vein on the right side of his neck bulge out slightly over his camel-coloured collar.

His brown eyes study over your features. He’s even more beautiful up close. Poker face. You bite your tongue, poised and professional - looking at him like he’s the ridiculous one in this situation. Not the grown woman pressing her thighs together over a handsome guy with pretty brown eyes.

His gaze flickers down and back up to yours, “Can I?”

Your eyes widen for a moment. There’s no way that this idiot is propositioning you on the second week of class. Anger builds in you. As hot as he may be, who does he think he is to assume that you would be willing to sleep with him? - And in your office of all places. You’ve barely even been to a divorce lawyer yet. You haven’t even moved out.

You’re furious. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly and you’re even more baffled. It doesn’t seem right that he would be so calm about asking you for sex when he stuttered his way through offering you his number a few minutes ago. You look down. The stack of post-it notes with a pen resting on them is right in front of you.

That’s what he’s referring to.

He wants to write his number on the notes. You almost sigh in relief at the realisation. Instead, you look up at him. Daring him to take that pen. You’re interested to see if he has the guts to.

“You mean ‘may I?’”

Bradley smiles at you again, he nods down to the block of notes. “May I?”

“Fine.” You don’t know what it is about him that makes you agree, even after you’ve said yes. It isn’t that big of a commitment. It’s just his number on a piece of scrap paper in your office.

This is what being single is, isn’t it? - Letting guys that you have no intention of calling give you their number just because you can.

For Rooster, this is a win. He scribbles his number on the orange piece of paper and peels it off of the block, sticking it to the bottom corner of your monitor.

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow, Lieutenant,” You can’t stand those eyes on you any longer. You’re being ignored at home and you’re not the same woman you were last time you were single. As much as you remain steadfast in your aversion to dating students, you can’t pretend that the attention isn’t appreciated at a time like this. Still, you busy yourself with opening up a document you’ve already read. “Dismissed.”

Rooster heads for the door. Then stops.

“I mean it, by the way.”

You lift your head and raise an eyebrow at him.

“Anything. You can call me for anything.” He explains himself, lingering in the doorway, tapping the doorframe with his knuckles. You nod your head. Finally, he leaves. You turn your attention to the orange note on your monitor, and the ‘call me ;)’ scribbled under his phone number. You scoff and shake your head. Ambitious.

…

Tag List:

@cherrycola27

@mak-32

@khaylin27

@stoncms

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #miles teller #bradley bradshaw smut #rooster x you #rooster bradshaw imagine #top gun smut

716 notes · View notes

loserdiaz · 8 months

Note

do you have any interesting 911 headcanons?

i'm just gonna write some of my favorite hcs and you decide if they're interesting jajsjhdk <33

(they're not all buddie hcs @ice-sculptures but some of these are 👀 )

buck and maddie have a small tattoo on their pinky promise finger and it's a d in each other's handwriting to have daniel always be with them.

when buck gets reallyyy drunk, he gets this awful and hilarious british accent that everyone finds ridiculous. (except eddie, eddie finds it incredibly hot but only bc he's pathetically in love with buck and it's embarrassing honestly)

hen, chimney, buck and eddie have a movie night all together once a month. buck and eddie usually fall asleep and hen and chim take pics of them, tease them and every now and then play a prank on two.

buck is actually friends with eddie's sisters. it started at his firefighter ceremony where they met and then they made a group chat with him to keep in touch. sometimes eddie struggles with texting and keeping his sisters updated so buck always sends pics of eddie cooking or at the firehouse or with chris at the beach or on their weekly movie nights. sophia and adriana also tease him endlessly about eddie (bc they know how their brother really feels for buck) but buck just takes it as a joke.

eddie and hen are the most nosy ppl in the station. they're always gossiping while stocking the ambulance and they know everything and anything about everyone.

buck goes to pts meetings when eddie can't make it and half the moms thinks they're married, the other half think they're divorced and a small amount want to jump his bones either way.

eddie steals buck's clothes. it started probably after the well incident— buck lent him his hoodie on the way home bc eddie could not stop shaking and he wanted to keep him warm. and then... eddie just forgot to give it back (on purpose but shhh) and every chance he gets he takes one of buck's tshirts or hoodies. they're just softer than his and they smell nice and no one has to know, okay?

these are just some but i can probably think of more kshsjsjs

sleepover weekend! 💌

#tsunamibuckley #ice-sculptures #sleepover weekend asks #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #buddie #buddie headcanons #911 headcanons #911 abc #911 on abc #april gets mail 💌#april answers

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schrijverr · 9 months

Text

What a 'Your Mom' Joke Can Get You

Richie accidentally comes out on twitter. He has a panic attack about it, but his friends are always in his corner.

On AO3.

Ships: reddie

Warnings: homophobia mention, panic attack

~~~~~~~~~

Richie comes out on a whim. Well, not so much a whim as an accident, but a planned accident, or more well put, an accident that came from something he wanted to do, but never dared yet played so much on the background that he did it without taking a moment to reflect on it.

He’s scrolling through twitter, head resting on Eddie’s lap (who honestly should have stopped him, in Richie’s defense). However, Eddie himself isn’t a twitter person and isn’t paying attention to Richie’s giggles as he amuses himself on twitter, a common occurrence.

After their reunion, Richie took a step back from being in the spotlight. He stayed with Eddie as he recovered and went through his divorce at the same time, something that wasn’t easy. But now, two years after the reunion, Eddie is a divorcee and they are happily together.

About half a year, Richie slowly got back into the spotlights with the tweet: Rumors of my drug addiction have been vastly exaggerated

Later he went on an interview and explained how he got news of the loss of a close childhood friend, with whom he lost contact (Stan). And how another of his old friends got into an accident when they all met up and he has helped during his recovery (Eddie).

Overnight his story about drug abuse and rock bottom turned into one of loss, reaching out, and healing. It was crazy to see how people received him differently and it allowed him to change his stand up. To change views, write his own stuff, present himself differently.

He has been happier with his work and glad he gets to be more open with people without as much of the backlash he would have gotten otherwise. He has been able to shift his content and audience to a place he’s happy with. And with the support of Eddie, being in a happy relationship for the first time in his life, he has been playing with the idea of coming out as mentioned before.

With the new leaf he turned over, he’s become more active on social media, dropping the techno-inept dude for becoming hip with the kids and failing at meme’s in his own way. It was easier to ease back into the scene like that and built up a different audience before he went up on stage again, plus he found he quite enjoys memes.

One of his favorite things to do is to send them to the groups chat and watch no one but Beverly and Ben get them. The other Losers attempting to guess and failing miserably.

His other favorite thing to do, is to comment on the posts of random users that are obviously not meant to see the light of day or posting his own random thoughts on twitter. This is what he is doing on that faithful evening it happens (he would emphasize the it, but bad memories and all that).

He’s looking at funny tweets, commenting where he goes when he sees a post that claims gay people just flirt in the worsts ways. Richie snorts to himself and without think he responds: Uhm, excuse me, if I can get a boyfriend with my ‘your mom’ jokes then I don’t want criticism on my methods

Right as he presses tweet Eddie randomly starts groaning, so Richie locks his phone and frowns in concern. He asks: “Are you okay, Eds?”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie says, choosing snark first, before saying: “My back is acting up. I’m going to lie down on the floor for a bit.”

“Want me to give you a massage?” Richie asks.

Eddie gives him a look and replies: “Really?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Eduardo,” Richie says. “I meant an actual massage.”

“Oh, yeah, that would be nice actually,” Eddie tells him and Richie forgets all about messing about on twitter in favor of making sure Eddie is comfortable and cared for.

They make it an early night and since Richie doesn’t need to get up early, he leaves his phone near the couch. He snuggles into the bed with his boyfriend and is comfortable, unaware of the shitstorm that is happening on the internet.

The next morning he wakes equally oblivious. Eddie is already out on his run, because he is an insane person, so even weekends aren’t holy to him. 9-5 freak, Richie mentally calls him with a fondness that was unknown to him before Eddie. With that he gets out of bed and starts some coffee and breakfast for the two of them.

It’s not until he’s waiting for Eddie to come back with finished breakfast that he is bored enough to want to catch up on the world.

He finds his phone near the couch and vaguely remembers being on twitter before leaving it there, as he grabs it. His anxiety starts to spike, however, when he sees the thousands of notifications on his phone, trying to remember what his last tweet was. Maybe he accidentally tweeted slur mcslurton and he is getting canceled!

With shaking hands he unlocks the phone. The tweet he posted yesterday is still open on his phone, now with thousands of likes, replies and retweets.

Richie’s heart drops to his stomach.

Uhm, excuse me, if I can get a boyfriend with my ‘your mom’ jokes then I don’t want criticism on my methods

He tweeted that.

He just threw that out in the world.

He wasn’t thinking.

Without his consent his hands start to shake worse and he drops his phone as his breath starts to catch in his throat, the oxygen burning. Tears gather in his eyes and his vision blurs. His knees buckle and he sinks to the ground as he attempts to get his breathing back in check.

That is how Eddie finds him when he comes back, still a little sweaty, but satisfied from his run. He is humming and calls out a greeting to Richie, not yet spotting him.

Richie desperately tries to stop. He doesn’t want to worry his Eds. However, it’s no use. His lungs aren’t cooperating and when he greets back, he sounds out of breath and distressed, which is perfectly matched with mood.

He hears Eddie’s footfalls pause, before they speed up as they get closer to him. Concerned Eddie gasps: “Oh my god, Richie! Are you okay? What happened?”

“I-” Richie starts to answer, to explain, to soothe Eddie’s worries. But the words catch in his throat and he starts to spiral again as he thinks of what happened.

He hates how he is still reacting like this to something he was planning on doing at some point. It’s just that he hasn’t been able to check the reactions and his brain is working overtime to supply him with all the ways this can blow back up into his face. He wants to be queer and comfortable, but he isn’t fully there yet it seems.

Helplessly he gestures to his dropped phone, hoping Eddie can figure it out himself as Richie goes through his breathing exercises.

Eddie knows Richie hates being touched whenever he has a panic attack, so he sits down on the floor close to Richie, letting him know he’s there for him without distressing him more.

As he waits, he picks up the phone to check whatever happened to trigger Richie. Richie is glad that Eddie will be the one to break the news of how it’s going to him, that he doesn’t have to see the hate himself. Even if he does feel a little bad about making Eddie see it and more anxious when Eddie gasps as he sees, before clicking more.

Richie ignores it best he can as he calms himself down, going through all the exercises he and his therapist worked on. Until, he feels well enough to crawl to Eddie and curl up next to him and ask him: “What are they saying?” in a meek voice.

“It’s a mix up between people who think it’s a bit and people who are nice. And some mean people, but those are a lot less,” Eddie tells him. “#UselessGayTozier is trending. Also, you have a lot of missed calls from Steve.”

“Fuckkk, he’s gonna be pissed,” Richie whines, hiding his face in Eddie’s shoulder, being comforted by his smell. Then he can’t help but ask again: “But there is truly not a lot of hate? I’m not, like, getting canceled or something?”

Eddie gives him a comforting smile and says: “No, you’re not being canceled, except by a few who think it’s a bit and you’re taking the shit out of gay people.”

“Rude, I am gay people,” Richie replies, feeling capable of joking now that he got the panic out of his system.

His sweet Eddie snorts at his admittedly shitty joke and says: “You’re an idiot.” Then there is a beat of silence, before Eddie tentatively asks: “How are you doing?”

After a moment of reflection, Richie answers honestly: “A bit tired and anxious, but better. I’ve been hyping myself up to do it, now I did it. That should be a good thing, right?”

“If you’re comfortable with it being out there than that is a good thing,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here for you, whatever you decide. If you want to deny and take it back, you can do that and I’ll still love you. We’re going to be fine.”

It is really comforting to hear it said out loud, even if Richie knew already. He and Eddie both had their own journey to being comfortable with their queerness and being together. So, Eddie would never pressure him to be out, hell, Eddie isn’t out at work.

However, there is more to Richie being out than Eddie being out. He sighs: “I don’t think I can take this back without looking a giant asshole, but thank you, Eds.”

Eddie doesn’t even protest the nickname like he usually does, just holds Richie tight and lets him gather himself. Just the two of them on the floor of their apartment, Eddie sweaty and Richie still sleep rumpled.

Richie leeches all the comfort he can out of Eddie until he feels human again. He’s sure that with enough time, he’ll find this hysterical. Perhaps he can even make a bit out of it for his new show that he’s working on. He lets out a groan at the thought.

“You okay?” Eddie immediately asks and Richie is touched by his concern.

“Yeah,” he smiles, “just realized I’ll have to rewrite a bunch of my show with this information known. I had a whole bit about dating your mom.”

“Fuck you, dude,” Eddie say as he pinches him, but he is also laughing as Richie squeaks and tries to get away from the attack.

“Breakfast is probably cold now,” Richie comments after a moment.

“That’s okay,” Eddie tells him and gets up, pulling Richie up as well, using the moment to check Richie over. God, he truly got so lucky with Eddie as his boyfriend. He never had someone care for him like Eddie does, except his parents, but even that was different.

Eddie cares deeply without making Richie feel incompetent or a chore. He just chose Richie and loves him, thus wants him to be alright. It takes his breath away.

Eddie cares by gently encouraging him when they work out together, by cooking healthy and delicious foods, by being there when the nerves get to him, by holding him when he wants to be held, and by listening to his comedy, giving genuine feedback, yet also compliments and the validation Richie has always craved. And Eddie is the one person who can keep up with Richie the best, both in banter and how his thoughts jump around.

Of course he cares about Eddie as well, but after his mother and then Myra, Richie knows better than to care in an overbearing manner. He’ll do chores, keeping the house clean as Eddie works, cuddle with him on the couch or in bed, help him with chronic pain, but back off if asked. He likes being able to care for Eddie like that, in a way that makes him feel safe.

They just care differently.

Right now, Eddie needs to be assured that Richie is okay and Richie needs to feel like someone will always be in his corner.

After Eddie has ensured Richie is truly as okay as he will be, he gives him a kiss on the nose that has Richie grinning like a loon. He manages to blink out of it and follow Eddie to the breakfast bar where they eat the cold breakfast.

All throughout Richie is distracted, but for once Eddie doesn’t scold him for being on his phone. He checks the damages, trying to gauge the reactions and come up with what to do next. He should definitely call his manager back. Fuck, Steve will have his head. But he’ll also help him with coming up with a statement or something.

Beyond twitter, he also has a bunch of message from people he hasn’t spoken with in forever reaching out now that he’s in the midst of a controversy.

Luckily, all the Losers have also reached out, both private and in the groups chat. It truly warms his heart and he feels so blessed that he has these people back into his life again. They were the pieces that have been missing for so long. The people who were meant to fill the loneliness.

He ignores most people that have reached out, but replies to the Losers, having his confidence boosted by their support. It’s such a nice feeling to know he won’t be alone again.

When breakfast is done, he bites the bullet and calls Steve, his manager. Anxiously clicking the button, not even having a few rings to steel himself as Steve picks up immediately: “What the hell, Rich! You could have at least prepared me for this stunt.”

“It was an accident,” Richie mumbles, feeling a little sheepish about it.

“An- An accident!” Steve exclaims. “How do you always manage to do this?”

“Steve,” Richie sighs, not in the mood to be berated. “I know I fucked up. I can’t take this back. I know, trust me. Lets just talk solutions.”

And Steve must hear something in his voice, because he drops it. Richie can almost picture him rub his forehead tiredly as he says: “Alright. So, it’s not too bad. But you need to say something. People are taking your silence and running with it. You need to confirm or go underground again and have a long while of no comment and I don’t know if you can manage that.”

“I think I need to confirm,” Richie says.

“Good, good, that’s good,” Steve sounds so relieved as he agrees, like he feared Richie would not want to, which would make his life so much harder. It makes Richie snort a little.

The snort lightens the mood a little, which Eddie picks up on. He quirks his brow up from where he’s seated close for moral support. Richie smiles and Eddie smiles back. That smile only hardens Richie’s resolve. So, he asks: “What’s the plan now?”

“We can go through normal media lines, but that gives you less control about it and most get their news from social media anyway,” Steve explains. “So, I think it’s best to get a message out there on twitter. You can do just do a conformation tweet, but you can also go video. Send it to me before posting it, please, Richie.”

“Ahw, don’t you trust me?” Richie pouts, playfully.

“No, I know you, that’s different,” Steve tells him, which is both fair and unfair. Richie has gotten better, but Steve has been there for all his lows and stupid shit.

So, he says: “Alright, I’ll let you check.”

“Good,” Steve nods. “Now, are you okay by yourself to figure this out?”

“Yeah, I have Eds as back up,” Richie assures Steve.

“Alright,” Steve says. “Call me if you’re stuck.”

“I will,” Richie promises, before they both hang up. And Richie is confronted with the silence that means he has to face the reality and do something about it now.

He’s broken out of his stare into a different dimension by Eddie nudging him and softly asking: “Hi, you doing okay?”

Richie looks up and grins, pushing Eddie’s sweaty hair up his forehead and says: “With you smelly presence here, I am fabulous.”

“Oh fuck you, dude,” Eddie replies, both of them knowing he hasn’t showered yet to support Richie emotionally.

“I love you too,” Richie grins, before assuring him: “You can go shower, sweetie-sweaty. I have to pick whether I want to put effort into this or not.”

“Asshole,” Eddie says, but he’s smiling again (not that Richie doesn’t love his little frown) and he goes to shower.

Richie sits down and contemplates. He could make a video. He is known for performances, so video should be his comfort zone. He also wouldn’t be bound to the character limit twitter sets. However, that would mean making a script and getting psycho-analyzed for his body language by randos on the internet. Plus, the idea of having the perform makes him want to vomit.

Text it is! He can just take a screenshot of his notes should it come to that.

Now to think of what to say. He already has decided that he wants to confirm. But should he explain? Should he give backstory? Should he be short yet sweet? Or try and be funny? And he mentioned his boyfriend, how does Eddie see this? Should he say something about that?

He opens the notes app on his phone and stares at it, before he decides to just start trying things and find what feels right. Starting with typing: Yeah, I’m gay lmao

It’s short and funny. It would give everyone the information to end canceling campaigns, but it wouldn't put him in a position to be open and vulnerable. Richie likes it, but the more he stares at it, the more it starts to feel dismissive. He doesn’t want to come across as an asshole, he’s already done that for most of his career.

So, he sighs and deletes the text, before trying again: Surprise, I am gay! No, I didn’t make it up for attention, please ignore it ever happened

That’s a little pathetic and vulnerable, albeit true. He wants people to know, he doesn’t care if they do if he’s quite honest, he just doesn’t want to talk about it ever. Okay, so maybe he’s not yet fully comfortable, but it happened and it’s more that he knows it will always be a topic and people are going to be invasive that bothers him, more than people actually knowing does.

He sighs and deletes it as well, staring at his blinking indicator on screen, before trying a different route: As you’ve all seen, I posted a jokey comment yesterday. It was not my intent to come out, the chance for comedy overtook me and I forgot I wasn’t out yet. But now here I am. Out. Hopefully everyone understands that this is not a topic I wish to comment on more for now, once I do you will all know, because gay jokes will make me unstoppable. For now, I will just confirm and go hibernate like a bear ;p

This is more honest and would be a screenshot of his notes to post. However, it makes him look like an idiot.

Hell, he feels like an idiot. Who the fuck forgets they’re not out? Him, apparently.

Fuck, he just likes talking about Eddie, alright. None of their friends ever let him forget how obnoxious they are now that they’re not both repressing how they’re feelings. They’re just that couple, who constantly talks about and teases the other. It’s a brand. He just saw the opportunity and took it, like he has done his entire life with jokes.

Before he can delete this version too, however, he is distracted by Eddie returning now wet from his shower. He sees Richie on the couch, still in his pajamas and asks: “You doing okay? Found something to post?”

Richie sighs and gestures to his phone as he says: “It all sucks,” before explaining his attempts to Eddie.

Eddie just listens as he explains, nodding along to show that he understands, that he is listening to his words. Richie can’t explain how much he appreciates that. Because, yeah, they’re often lovingly bullying each other, but they know when the other isn’t in a mindset to be teased. And Eddie knows that Richie never had many people willing to listen to him, how relieved he is that Eddie is listening to him, not dismissing him.

Plus, of course, Eddie is part of this conversation. Which Richie acknowledges and also hates about the whole situation. “I also mentioned you, well, not you-you, but a boyfriend, which does not have to be you, but people will speculate. And I don’t know if I should say something about it or not, because it can just encourage some people to pry.”

He cards his hands through his hair and heaves a deep breath, done with speaking and feeling a little empty after.

Next to him, Eddie gives a thoughtful hum. He is still nodding as he thinks, before he says: “Well, I don’t want to be mentioned by name and if looking into me could be discouraged, I would be in favor of that.”

“In favor of that,” Richie repeats. “Are you a senator or something? You don’t have to lobby here, we can make this together. It’s your life too.”

“Thanks,” Eddie gives a lopsided smile, before he exclaims: “But I totally could be a senator. I have the face.”

“Yeah, a generic white guy, who fits into corporate America,” Richie rolls his eyes, but he’s laughing. “They’d eat you up.”

“Hell yeah they would,” Eddie smirks.

There’s a natural pause in the conversation, before Richie says: “So, a note about not looking you up, got it. Let’s start again.” He grabs his phone and mumbles as he types: “Yes, this is my confession, or coming out, or whatever you want to call it. I am gay. However, before I go into my sob story, I want to state that I will not answer any questions about my boyfriend. I gave up a little privacy to become a public figure, he did not. Respect that.” Then he looks up at Eddie and asks him: “What do you think of that?”

“Little dramatic,” Eddie critiques.

“I am dramatic,” Richie guffaws, offended, before dropping the show. “Is it too dramatic?”

“Depends,” Eddie shrugs. “It fits with your personality, but you weren’t ready to come out yet and now you’re talking about telling your sob story? How far do you want to get into it?”

Richie sighs again, he’s been doing that a lot this morning, then tries to follow his own thoughts, made easier by verbalizing them. “I don’t know. I wanted to just post a quick confirmation, but then everyone will ask me about it. If I just throw the story out there and then hide until the latest scandal, then- I mean, I guess I hope they just forget to ask me anything about it.”

“Do you think that will work?” Eddie asks. He doesn’t know much of this lifestyle, tries not to be involved, so his only source is Richie.

“Depends on how interesting they find it,” Richie shrugs. “Right now they smell a scandal. They see ‘Comedian Richie Tozier Mocks LGBTQ Community’ on the covers of their gossip rags and while ‘Comedian Richie Tozier Comes Out as Gay’ is also a story, but its less of scandal than the first. If someone else does something noteworthy it will likely over shine it. But that is only when they don’t decide to pull up all my old work and try to cancel me over it or analyze me about it and try to dig into all the reasons I repressed myself.”

Now it’s Eddie turn to sigh as he wonders out loud: “Are they ever going to let you forget that? I mean, you’ve changed.”

“I know, but I know it was shit. People will always be mad about it,” Richie says. He isn’t proud of the sexist jokes he used to tell, who he hears them quote. He was an asshole and the people who he hurt can bring it up whenever they want in his book. He just hates it when the magazines come after him, trying to condemn him for things he is trying to correct. As if they don’t allow him to grow as a person, as if they have that power over him. It drives him mad.

“I don’t like that they keep reminding you of it,” Eddie still pouts. “You’re a braver person than they’ll ever know. They don’t know what you’ve been through. How much you’ve had to deal with, how much you worked on yourself. Derry sucked and it took all of us years to recover from it. Your stupid mistakes are just on the record.”

It does something with Richie’s heart to see Eddie so protective over him and he can’t help but place a soft kiss on his cheek. The texture of the scar under his lips feels familiar and it makes him all the more grateful that Eddie is alive. That he is here with him.

“What was that for?” Eddie asks, an instinctual smile on his face, making his dimples appear, which Richie loves so much.

Richie’s own face contort into a smile as well as he softly replies: “I just love you.”

Eddie melts besides him and says: “I love you too, you absolute softie.”

“Fuck you, you’re just as bad,” Richie argues with a smile. He likes this ribbing a lot more than the serious conversation from before.

“Am not,” Eddie protests.

“Are too,” Richie shoots back just to be annoying, even sticking out his tongue to go with it.

“I have never done anything soft in my life,” Eddie huffs dramatically.

“Yeah, right, tell that to the roses that got delivered to my dressing room the first time I went back on stage,” Richie says, recalling that memory with a wave of fondness for the man next to him.

“Shut up,” Eddie blushes, not meeting Richie eyes.

“Ahww, Eddie spaghetti, the cutest there is!” Richie exclaims, pinching Eddie’s cheek as he does.

“Stop it,” Eddie says as he swats Richie hand away, but he can’t hide the laughter in his voice as he does.

The action reminds him of their childhood. Of Richie annoying Eddie and Eddie pretending he hated it, while sharing in a blush. How they have been years in the making, even if they forgot each other for a long while.

Eddie has always been part of his life, part of the person he wants to be. Eddie keeps him grounded and makes him feel loved. Makes it feel like all those years of self-hatred, of loneliness, were worth it, because he gets to have this life with Eddie now. And he’d go through what happened a hundred times over if it means this is the outcome.

His past is part of him. It has shaped him, shaped them. He can’t forget that. Derry is intertwined with who they were, who they grew up to be. His reaction to the whole thing won’t make sense without that part of him, he can mention it.

“Where did you go?” Eddie asks, after a few seconds, having noticed that Richie’s thoughts drifted away to a different places.

“Yeah,” Richie smiles reassuringly. “I think I wanna talk a little about Derry in the post. Will you read it after I type it?”

“Of course,” Eddie says without hesitation. “Take your time.”

“Thanks,” Richie says, before setting to work crafting the message he wants to send out into the world. It takes a little time to fine tune it, before letting Eddie check it over and making the last adjustment.

With both of them happy he sends it to Steve to be checked over. He gets a thumbs up back after a few minutes, thus screenshots what he wrote and posts it on twitter. It reads:

Hi, if you’re aware of me enough to read this you have probably seen my latest (albeit hilarious and completely true) reaction to a tweet. It has sparked some controversy because I have never said that I was gay. And that is correct! I forgot I am not out and just saw the opportunity for a joke and took it, because – to put an end the rumors – I am gay. It has taken me a long time to get to the point where I am comfortable enough to joke around with my sexuality like this, since I grew up in a highly homophobic small town. Slurs and bullying have followed me for a long time and I repressed a lot of those feeling for a long time, hiding behind a facade of misogynist straight guy as to not raise suspicion, which I regret. However, I have been able to work through those feelings, helped by support from my friends and my lovely boyfriend. I am very thankful for them and glad I got to grow. I am very happy where I am right now, but coming out was an accident. I will likely not share more about it until I am more comfortable, thank you for understanding. I also ask you all not to pry into the life of my boyfriend. I have chosen to be a public figure, he absolutely has not, so please respect that. That is all I wish to say about the situation now.

He posts it with as caption: Tl;DR: yeah, I’m gay lmao

Once he’s done so, he texts to the groups chat that he’s okay, just turning his phone off for a bit and to text Eddie if they want to reach him, before putting his phone away. A part of him wants to religiously check all the reactions, the other part of him wants to put his fingers into his ears and lalalala his way into forgetting it exists.

Eddie takes him into his arms, saying nothing and just rubbing his back. It allows Richie to let himself be comforted without feeling like he has to do something, give a reaction. He can just exist with a far away stare.

It’s nice to lie like this and he’s glad this didn’t happen on a day when Eddie had to go to work. He honestly doesn’t know what he would do without Eddie.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” Eddie replies easily, planting a kiss on his forehead and holding him closer.

When lunch time rolls around Eddie gets Richie snapped out of it a little, not wanting him to disappear too far into his own world. Eddie cooks something nice as Richie scrolls through the messages of the other Losers on Eddie’s phone.

Beverly has shared some of the memes people made about the situation to cheer him up. His favorite is one reading: When the urge to make a gay joke is so big but you’re not out with the image of the bulging veins boy below it.

Meanwhile, Billy has gone through the pits of twitter to find nice encouraging messages from people to Richie, which nearly makes him cry, though he doesn’t say that. Billy himself has also posted words of encouragement on twitter, as did Bev.

Ben isn’t famous like Beverly, Billy and Richie are, but he’s just send encouraging words and offered his wood cottage if he needs to get away from bustling Hollywood, which he might take him up on if this ends in him being stopped in the street every time he goes out.

Mike isn’t famous at all, but that isn’t stopping him from being vocal, though not over text. He has chosen to pick fights with random people online, who are shitheads. Richie and Eddie are kept up to date about his shenanigans in the group chat.

At some point Richie sends Mike a text that it’s very sweet, but he doesn’t have to do that, because that might get hatred redirected at Mike.

To that Mike responds: Man, I have pulled you out of your life towards Derry and there you saved my life, of course I’m going to protect you from these assholes. Besides, they’re nothing against It and they have nothing on me. I’m out here exploring the world, they have to find me first if they want to come fight me.

It makes Richie again feel so lucky with his friends. They have all decided that Mike gave up enough, so they all sponsor him, so he can go see the world, yet Mike doesn’t let the time he was trapped in Derry make him bitter. He still loves them and this is how he shows it.

Somehow he is reminded of the time they were both stuck in the vision, back when they fought It as kids when they came together in the clubhouse to do the smoke ritual. Back then it was the two of them as well and they kept each other safe. In a way, they’re still living the echoes of then.

By the time lunch is over #protectiveboyMike is on the trending page right next to #UselessGayTozier.

A lot of people think Mike is the boyfriend. Mike denies it with the statement: I’m not, but what if I was? That a problem?, which only invites more reactions.

The whole thing makes Richie feel much better about himself. Just three years ago, he would have lost his mind at the idea of being out, of being comfortable with what has always floated beneath the surface. And he never would have believed he has the support system that he does. Yet, here they are. His friends. He feels like a very lucky man.

Eddie kisses his cheek, snapping him out of his musings. He says: “Had enough scrolling for today?”

“Yeah,” Richie says, feeling a lot better about himself.

A/N:

Do y’all ever really panic and then ur like, done. Like, you can’t be bothered anymore, because you got all the panic out and now you feel a bit like a drama queen.

#rr writing #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it stephen king #it 2019 #eddie lives au #the losers club #reddie #richie x eddie

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