#I also sit in the dark at work

[hyperfocusme]

Things I do that I believe are ADHD #35

When I enter kitchen at work in the morning, I always turn on only the least bright light, because when it's dark outside, the lights inside can be too much and they hurt.

#I also sit in the dark at work #mine #adhd #neurodivergence #things i believe to be adhd #neurodivergencies #neurodiverse stuff #Light #Work

[buttercupshands]

can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big

and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today

#sketch #my art #bnha #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #all for one #midoriya izuku #bnha manga spoilers #only after I finished basically polishing this sketch did I notice how it's basically dark and light mode #also the first one is basically a redraw of illustration from vol 11 #I know that translation of Tenko's words is different in official but eh #fanart #I've kind of recovered from recent chapters #and I was analysing those chapters all morning #I'm still thinking but otherwise the chapters are so good #also did you notice that AFO actually talked about how his other him didn't use that 'last thing' yet and that was in ch 410 #and in ch 419 he did so it's real and it's still sad #but still AFO was never hiding it enough #from Tomura maybe but we as readers actually saw his plans play out #in any case I'm still just sitting with those two Izuku and Tenko interaction chapters #I waited long enough #and if you don't count AFO's return Izuku DID save Tenko and it's so interesting #since he now has to save his OTHER origin that was in ch 237 taught to kill whatever he wants #Tenko and Tomura both had 'origins' chapters and for now we only worked with 235 and 236 #and even if Izuku helped with the start of 237 there's still AFO #in any case it was a hard week #also the second thing actually had them holding hands #and then I was like 'but at that point Izuku's hands are gone oh no' #and it was just Tenko holding air where the hand was destroyed #in any case that scene.

[sysig]

Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Gaster #Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol #Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird #Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth #Not to mention the trauma #And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories! #It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :( #This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0 #I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things! #Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting #But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation! #Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment #The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats #And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached #How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥ #But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember #Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol #Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[amygdalae]

I feel another vtmb playthrough coming over me

#i also gotta play vtmr cuz a studio my dad worked at made it. they worked on it while he was there but he was on a different team #but he kne/was friends w some of the devs hed see them out on lunch breaks #theyd be sitting in a booth soemwhere in their dark clothes and long hair (as my dad describes it)

[why-the-heck-not]

31.03.23, friday

perfectly good sofa right there but noo, let’s sit on the floor in front of it with the shrimp posture. this is me working:  💻🦐 “hmmm why does my back hurt ??”

#i might have a clue as to why that is hmm might it be ... no wayy.. #sitting like a dungeon troll is bad for you ????????? #also next to this? my desk that would actually have somewhat alright-ish work ergonomy and the another monitpr so i wouldn't have to do #do things the annoying? why am i on the floor ? #studyblr #study #studyspo #booklr #bookblr #books #reading #book #read #aesthetic #dark academia #chaotic academia #march 2023 #2023

[cyncerity]

Okay okay look they give me brainrot but:

Sapnap noms Karl and Q as like his way of flirting (classic line of 'your just so cute I couldn't help but eat you up' or whatever-)

YES YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY

ignore the fact that I only drew Karl, i didn’t wanna draw two people and Q and Sap already have their own nom story and ignore that I can’t write flirty dialogue so i did icons instead

but YES SAPNAP DOES THIS. at first it’s kind of a joke cause they all know that Sapnap could just ask like a normal person but no, he has pickup lines now. Q and Karl think it’s funny at first cause the pickup lines also started as a joke, but then Sapnap got more serious and flirty and both of them kind of had a “shit this is hotter than it should be” moment.

Karl especially is a lot more receptive to it than he first thought he’d be

#fuck hands fuck hands i hate hands so much #i spend 25 minutes picking the pose for the first angle cause of the hands #anyway #i love drawing wholesome fiancés shit so much hsksksjsk #especially noms #also the reason Sapnap’s wearing a hat is cause he’s at work #that’s his disguise to hide his pointy ears and he’s going to immediately go back to work and Karl is gonna sit there flustered #ALSO the dark mark around his eyes is the bruise I was talking about #he hit his face really hard when he was a kid and it left that dark mark on him so Q and Karl nicknames him ‘pandas’ #that led to the rest of them having animals nicknames too btw #Q is obviously duckling and Karl is bunny #these tags have gotten very off topic #anyway send in any other ideas if you have them i love my shifter boy and his little fiancés <3 #cyncerity #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #store shifter au #cyn art #tw vore #g/t vore #soft vore #safe vore #extreme cuddling #mcyt g/t vore

[seaweedstarshine]

You know that time in the comics when the Doctor is so depressed, he shuts off the lights, turns on an interrogation spotlight, locks himself in the console room, and argues with a bunch of judgmental shadow-figures resembling his past incarnations?

And all the TARDIS' lights go out and her interior becomes a maze to keep his companions out of the console room, all from her psychic connection with the Doctor (“moodbleed”)?

And his companions are left wandering in circles for two days as the air goes “stale,” not knowing where he is but thinking the worst, while he hallucinates in a dark room?

...because I'm thinking again about the times this definitely happened when he was with the Ponds.

#when they find him- Rory (one good nurse™) asks neutral questions to check on his emotional state while respecting his space #Amy knows when he's locked himself alone long enough to call River (fortunately Amy talks to her daughter often) #River can calm the tardis and go directly to the Doctor. she sits with him and nods when he rants. she tells him hes loved. #eleventh doctor #11th doctor #doctor who #words by seaweed #(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag #honestly same. I don't want anyone looking at me when im in that way because eyes are very uncomfortable lasers slicing my thoughts #so river doesn't look at him. she looks away and lets him look at her so he knows she's not looking at him. she also does active listening #the shadow-figures in this comic are beyond psychosis coded #emphasis: it isnt presented like some conference of past selves here (which the doctor can't just do anyway- see Power of the Doctor). #and the shadow figures dont have personalities anyway. the way theyre drawn is VERY psychosis coded (as is 11 this whole Si Spurrier run) #this is from Eleventh Doctor Year 2 Issue 3 (set between A Christmas Carol and The Impossible Astronaut) if anyone's wondering #note that he put on his comfort fez I love him #alice obiefune #poor Alice got drove up the wall from wandering in the dark for two days… I think Amy and Rory get to get used to it if they're together #eventually they work out a plan to calm the tardis enough to show them the comfy spot in the bunkbeds to wait and give him space #he joins them in their bunkbed for platonic snuggles. all in the same bunk. Rory doesnt mind. they make sure the doctor knows hes loved <3 #I think- having been percieved as psychotic growing up- Amy would be conscious about making sure the doctor knows she still adores him #I really want this fic to exist

[non-un-topo]

Daily November crying sessions start today

#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week #all of which are ~20 pages. #i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one. #and i have work. #i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration. #and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done. #what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays. #november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!! #meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace. #oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood. #fuck you lol #like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You. #if i can offer some dark humour though..... #my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie #sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time? #i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see! #i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f #rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal

[funkyness]

helloooo does anyone have any tv show recommendations that have whimsical/interesting/cool costume design? i need it for school

#it doesn't need to be ongoing or recent it can be an oldass show #it's for a tv and movie costume design assignment #i was thinking dark crystal but I'd love a more humanoid one #star wars stuff could also work but personally I'm not a huge sw fan so i don't really wanna sit through mandalorian ahsjjdjfjdj

[spider-man-2o99]

to this day i still think miguel’s funniest cameo in another comic is 100% that time when he showed up in ghost rider 2099 and kenshiro hit him in the head with a brick

#talking tag #spider-man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #ghost rider 2099 #zero cochrane #kenshiro 'zero' cochrane #marvel 2099 #comics #unironically i love that miguel is also just. sitting at his work station in the dark wearing sunglasses indoors at night #also that he goes down in one hit. #never change king little loser pogchamp of my heart

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

so recently i decided to roll the 'what will my human!pericles look like This Time' roulette again, only this time in color for once! it's always itched at me how his design looks like a totally different person before and after the timeskip, having been through the wringer aside, so i thought i'd take a shot at combining my interpretation of the two. (the creators pretty obviously took cues from his voice actor for his present-day design, and it's been fun to draw on that too while still keeping the design my own.)

i mostly like how it's turned out, as far into it as i managed to get before i had to take a break and my executive function stalled out; i kept putting off posting it, meaning to come back and finish it later, but i finally decided to go ah fuck it i'd rather it be out there unfinished than disappear into my sketch folder forever. or get fucked up by my trying to continue it while Not in the Groove, especially given how difficult the painting tools i've got available are to wrangle with. Sometimes You Just Gotta Call It

there's a lot of things i'm eyeing to hammer out more next time--i can never seem to figure out what the hell to do with his hair, for one; for another they did a great job at getting across 'babyface that has become aged/haggard' with his designs, and that balance can be difficult to nail when the art app i use really brings out the Everyone is Soft and Babyface in my artstyle. it's a real bastard, but i liked drawing him with this brush a lot and i'm looking forward to working it out more if i can.

the upshot of this is Lo, Cunty Grandpa Be Upon Ye

bonus flats, including an early-to-mid-twenties edit, as well as a couple speed doodles from the same page:

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #professor pericles #ricky owens #humanizations #god i really do need to sit down and Actually Properly Work Out my design for his semi-humanoid-but-still-a-furry form #it's what i'm thinking of 90% of the time i write/talk/etc about him and it's frustrating how hard it is to actually translate it to paper #the story behind why this one is in color for once is hilarious and an accident #but then i rolled with it because i liked the resulting color palette and figured it was a good opportunity to practice darker skin tones #which is annoying to wrangle in this app; because once again the painting tools are terrible #and it is incredibly easy to make dark complexions look Grungy #but fuck it might as well practice to the extent i can for now #also as far as i'm concerned this gay bitch 100% wears makeup he was just a bit subtler about it before the asylum #afterward he just went Full Edgy Messy Goth and in this and this alone he is valid #me seeing a homosexual bird furry with a beak darker than the rest of their face: oh lipstick? #SDMItag #whosebaby makes things #whosebaby draws

[bunnie-bits]

i wanna kis (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) it's almost midnight ladies u know what that means .. (yearning hours)

#me n my friend got crossfaded n rly cozy and i wanted 2 cuddle but that wouldn't b appropriate btwn us (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) i wouldn't #dare ask omg. but now i rly want someone 2 lay on my chest n hold them n give each other eepy kisses ₍ ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ ₎ #i also wasn't expecting company 2 day bc i didn't have the energy 4 stuff this wk and it's like (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) #i don't wanna kick u out given ur night but i should be laying down rn (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) either that or doin fuck all in the back lol #and so i brought us 2 the back n we smoked n talked in the dark‚ and got to trade ghost stories bc she also dealt w ghosts as a kid 0: #that was fun (❁´◡`❁) I'd been wanting to do that w her since i found out #it's nice having a friend who's been into horror since they were young too ╰(￣ω￣ｏ) that talk was after watching 2 movies hehe #we saw evil dead rise n malignant 😈 and then talking abt spiritually in a non-religious sense then ghosts #and originally i was gonna get food but nah we used a coupon for 2 pizzas n got delivery it's been an extremely chill night and i needed it! #things have been so crazy this week with work omg. my weekend is probs gonna b uneventful (hopefully!) and i wanna b at home!! #just veg out n play bibyo gaym (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) and buy more bags of food for the squirrels n birds #these squirrels omg 😂 i work in the back and they know i give them food so they've been getting up on my lap sometimes like hello?? #or i look over my laptop and fr see a squirrel just sitting in the chair across from me poking their head up over the table staring #i knoooow babies i know I'll get u ur food as soon as possible. omg and i have monday off?? i forgor ;u; !! n e ways I'm feeling good 2night #started out Yearning but (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) what a great way to start my weekend. she called me just as i was wrapping things up w work :3 #i can actually Breathe this weekend and I'm not exhausted (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠;⁠) nice. #im gonna go listen 2 my silly little music n go back 2 yearning hehe. but hiii a girl is Up now and im v stoned n in sleepover mode

[guinevereslancelot]

the best thing about teaching toddlers is that the kids take a two hour nap in the middle of the day right after lunch and i get to spend most of that time doing nothing on my phone <3

#i spent part of it on my lunch hour today bc they went down while i was gone #and then i didnt have to do lunch time cleanup either #i just came back from my lunch hour a few minutes ago and they're literally going to be alseep for another hour and a half or two hours #and i just get sit sit here :) #usually there's some kinds of tasks to do during naptime but not today for me #but even when there's tasks its still basically an hour extra break after that #which is needed when working with kids tbh #anyway #i love getting paid to sit on the floor in the dark and scroll on my phone lol #so glad im done being horribly ill #if only this job paid better it would be the perfect job tbh #def going to start my own home daycare someday #its tiring but basically my job is to be fun and silly and make sure the kids are safe lol #also change diapers and wipe their noses all day long but its not that bad except for getting sick #i do change diapers when they start waking up from nap so i dont get the whole two hours off but still #its a very nice extra break

[daughterofhecata]

Tagged by @wodkapudding, thank you <3

Last Song: Mein Element by Erdling

Relationship status: not romantically inclined

Sweet/savoury/spicy?: all of those have their place tbh

Favourite colour: everything dark - dark greens, dark reds, dark purples in particular, also olive green (aubergine and burgundry are also extremely good choices imo!)

Last movie/TV show: good question. I think I rewatched Dunkelfeld (Tatort Berlin) last week or the week before that, love me a completely unhinged Karow <3

Last thing I googled: "Haflinger", I think, which led me down a wikipedia rabbit hole about horses in medieval times

Current obsession: lowkey wish I had something more active than the ddf background radiation obession rn. But that's it at the moment, I think. The Tatort Berlin/Karow obsession might come out of hibernation next Sunday tho xD

Tagging @crazy-walls, @wheresmybloodynauglamir, @borealopelta, @otis--driftwood & @autumncalls (if you feel like it!)

#i was tagged #thanks again! #...still not fully sure where erdling sits like. politically. because norse mythology stuff is normal for metal #but also there's some weird vibe i can't quite put my finger on that keeps me extremely wary of them #unfortunately my brain hates me again lately and their particular mix of heavy and dark is one of the few things that work against that #idk idk #anyway i'll now go back to the justus/victor fic i just started (as if i needed more wips) #kaj rambles

[thelittleangryitalian]

There’s a chance I won’t be posting a new chapter of smile more this week. Work has been crazy. Our closer called out today so I opened and closed, which is about an 11 hour shift. I’m hoping to work on it tomorrow and Saturday so fingers crossed

#I also had to write an incident report for a work related incident #which was fun #I’m very tired #and sitting in the dark doing paperwork