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#I HAVE AN IDEAL VOICE IN MY HEAD FOR ALL OF THEM I JUST DONT KNOW SEIYUUSSSSS UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
natsmagi · 21 days
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How do you imagine Switch's voices in femstars? Have you thought of any VAs that would suit them in your hcs? <:
OH MANNNNNNNN. i gotta preface this by saying i really do not watch alot of anime. there is 100% better voice hcs But i do not know enough about the seiyuu world, but here is at least a very general vibe of how i envision theyd sound like
tsumugi i feel would definitely have that saori hayami voice or something similar though. Soft airy and motherly just like the tsumugi we all know and love
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sora could maaaybe be something along the lines of bisky from hxh? i want there to be a little hint of Bastard in her voice, and im sooo certain theres probably someone in a girl idol game that has the voice i picture BUT FOR NOW. BISKY
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AS FOR NATSUME UHHHHHH. natsume has a very special voice, i feel like id have to do alot of digging to find someone that captures it well.......... but in my mind i imagine like. a mixture of edelgard fe3h and izutsumi dunmeshi? i want the allure of edelgard and the tone of izutsumi........ my ideal natsume concoction
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ANYWAY natsumes and soras arent perfect in how i envision theyd sound, so if anyone is picking up what im putting down ur free to list seiyuus/characters u think capture what im looking for!! i want sora to have a cute anime girl voice but nothing too ear-grating with a playfulness to it, and i want natsumes to be an alluring slightly deeper tone preferably with texture to it. i KNOW theres perfect seiyuus out there i just need to get my hands on them
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honeyhoshi · 9 days
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scarlet, starlet pt. 1
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summary: mingyu intends to make his girlfriend's wishes come true — all of them.
this a part of the man of the match universe
genre: professional football (soccer) mingyu, idol oc, porn with a little plot
wordcount: 3,251
pairing: mingyu x afab!reader
warnings: DDlg kink, d/s themes, both parties are safe, sane, and consenting adults, afab reader, lots of mentions of female anatomy, reader is implied to be significantly smaller than mingyu, making out, dry humping, finger sucking, fingering, squirting, huge mingyu, big dick gyu (canon), slight cum play, cum eating, exhibitionism, unprotected sex (pls dont do it, its not worth it), spit kink (bec i wrote it), creampie (also bec i wrote it), size kink go bbrrrr, bulge kink, dirty talk
author's notes: yet another work written for my lovely @madeforgyu! this is just part 1 of her birthday gift and is a part of the universe we have lovingly poured soooo much time and effort in. wuv u and all of that!
The excitement that comes with a new album and a comeback sometimes gets lost in just how complicated AM♡RE’s schedule has become. In between having to do pre-recording as a whole team, music shows would request certain members to be part of other variety segments which allowed other members to rest or even take on other schedules.
This led to fussy 4AM pre-recording sessions then running back to the company office to film overseas interviews and just napping during the car rides to and from one venue or another.  By the time the whole team made it back to the KBS building for the live broadcast, the only thing fueling you was adrenaline and obligation. It’s a so-so way of celebrating your twenty-fourth birthday.
You try to shake it out of your system when you think of the cute pink drink truck that was parked by the entrance to the studio that your fans were enjoying. You think it could be a lot worse because you did catch a glimpse of the many birthday ads all over Seoul as you moved from one location to another.
But still, it could be better too.
With all the last minute activities and schedules being fit into every free moment you had in the past few weeks, it had been difficult to really set any celebration plans into stone with your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend.
A pout makes itself present on your face the second you start thinking of him. Having Mingyu around would make everything that wasn’t ideal about your birthday just simply melt away.
At this point, a message from him would suffice. You’re no stranger to receiving and sending messages at odd times but after Mingyu’s good morning message, all your other texts had gone unread.
You’re wracking your head if he had mentioned anything scheduled today but you come up with nothing because you can clearly remember that he said he was taking the entire day off to celebrate with you.
The thought sticks even as you’re being ushered on stage and you only really snap out of it as you find yourself in front of the crowd, the rest of your members bowing and waving before you have to take your starting positions.
You shake it off, thinking instead of how you’re sure a message from Mingyu will greet you the moment you step off stage.
You’re greeted by something far better than a text message when the music cuts and you’re trying to catch your breath.
A large smile is still plastered on your face as the thrill and joy of performing courses through you. The cheers fill you with warmth and satisfaction, hoping that you had given a good performance for the live show’s crowd, but a voice cuts through the usual noise of fans.
There’s a booming voice coming from the side stage and a “That’s my girl!” that sets every nerve on your body aflame in embarrassment and pride in equal measures.
It’s your boyfriend.
It’s Mingyu.
A bright smile splits your face and you can’t help the flush that paints your face pink as the rest of your members turn to see the afternoon’s special guest. With everyone on stage giggling and whispering amongst themselves with their lapels turned away from their mouths, even the crowd was starting to realize that something out of the norm was going on.
You make your goodbyes quick, giving deep bows of appreciation, but the excitement coursing through your body can’t be contained.
Once your leader has deemed you polite enough, offering you a sympathetic smile and nodding towards the general direction of the backstage area, you can’t move fast enough.
You briskly walk towards Mingyu who, despite his effort at dressing to be discreet, is still the most eye-catching person in the room. Standing tall and proud in the hustle and bustle of the music show staff is the top scorer of the Cheongdam Diamonds, offering you the most wicked grin.
There are so many eyes around you. Looks of jealousy, resentment, and also awe are no longer strange when either you or Mingyu are in the room. Having both of you present just meant all of the above, but a hundredfold. None of that matters to you at all when you let out a squeal and jump into his arms.
You don’t care. You’ve stopped caring. Let them see.
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You can no longer count how many bad ideas have become good ones when Mingyu whispers them into your ear. You can’t even remember a time you’ve said no to him and his clever ideas. Not that you ever would really, especially when Mingyu always makes it worth your time.
 It starts innocently enough, as it always does with you and Mingyu.
The second you managed to drag him into your dressing room, locking the door behind him, you had peppered his face and mouth with as many kisses as you could as he giggled and whispered birthday greetings every time your lips parted.
In no time, Mingyu had managed to wrap your legs around his waist and was guiding you as you slowly rocked your hips down onto his. The friction was so delicious even through all the layers of your stage costume but you knew that this would hardly suffice for either of you.
“I fucking hate these shorts,” Mingyu says with a grimace as his hands find their way to your ass, upset to find the layer of your safety shorts standing in his way.
Mingyu has always hated it when he would reach down and find your smooth skin covered with a seemingly offensive piece of clothing. On most days you barely wore any underwear around the house, just the way he likes it.
You love the little look of annoyance in his face and trace the lines of his eyebrows as you sit pretty on his lap, “They’re there to protect me.”
Mingyu can only snort at that.
You roll your eyes playfully, “Imagine if we stopped wearing these, then everyone would see what’s yours, Daddy.”
You feel his frown relax underneath your finger, “We can’t have that now, can we?”
“Nuh-uh,” You answer, allowing Mingyu to guide your hips. Even through the stupid safety shorts you could feel how his cock was pressing against the zipper of his jeans and Mingyu always knew how to find the cleft of your center to ensure that you were grinding your clit onto him.
“Why’s that?” He whispers against your lips, tongue flicking out to lick at your upper lip for just a split second.
You bite your tongue at the pleasure slowly building up between your legs and how he’s teasing you with his tongue, “Because this is yours.”
He makes a face of faux confusion before asking, “What exactly is mine?”
“This pussy.”
“Good girl.”
In no time, Mingyu has you strip for him and you stand before him, completely devoid of your costume. In the back of your head you can already imagine the frustration of the staff member assigned to assist you with getting fully dressed again, but the look Mingyu gives you has you pushing the thought away.
He’s sprawled on the couch as if he owned it and you’re dying to fall to your knees between his spread legs, but the second you move to do so, Mingyu grabs your wrist to stop you.
“It’s my sweet girl’s birthday today, so we’ll do all the stuff you like,” He says, standing up and crowding you against the counters littered with different makeup brushes and pots of eyeshadow and powder puffs.
“But I want to suck your cock,” You state as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Mingyu chuckles and you meet his eyes. You’re entranced.
“I know you do, love. But I don’t want you to bruise your knees when I’m dressing you back in that little skirt.”
He has a point and you frown, “How about tonight?”
He smiles as he brings three fingers up to your mouth, “Okay, I’ll even let you choke on it. Now suck on Dad’s fingers, get them nice and messy.”
You immediately let your mouth fall open and start to lap at the three fingers Mingyu offers you, savoring the salt of his skin and the rough pads of his fingers. If you tried hard enough you could pretend they were his cock, hard and smooth and so so delicious. Your little daydream has you salivating in no time, coating Mingyu’s fingers and lubricating them enough for what he’s no doubt about to do to you.
“Look at that little mouth go,” He marvels, “So small, three fingers can barely fit. Are you sure you can suck my cock?”
You’re shaken from your thoughts and immediately a look of distress spreads on your face, “Yes, it can fit! I can make it fit. You’ll make it fit, won’t you?”
Mingyu’s fingers are barely out of your mouth as you try to convince him. The look on your face makes Mingyu smile. It’s horrible and mean and you love it so much.
“Yeah, I’ll make it fit. I’ll make sure my baby will take it.”
You preen at the promise and wait in anticipation as he pulls his hands away from your lips and pressing his mouth against yours.
This kiss was not exactly a typical one. Instead of pressing your lips together, Mingyu licks into your mouth, his tongue bullying its way inside and pushing your own tongue out of the way. He runs this tongue against the roof of your mouth and against your teeth until you slowly start to press your tongue against his.
You groan in relief as he finally eases up to kiss you properly but tense up when you feel one of his hands grab at your left thigh to lift it up and prop it up on the counter. This position has you spread wide open for him. He loves it when he can see all of you.
The slick that’s been gathering between your folds is surely visible in this position and it makes you clench around nothing as Mingyu pulls away to survey you in this position.
“So so pretty,” He whispers underneath his breath, not even to you, just to himself, “Going to destroy this tiny pussy.”
That’s as much warning as you get before he presses two fingers into you at once.
Mingyu is bigger than most men in all aspects. He’s tall and broad, having put in so much time to get his physique to where it is now. His sheer size followed everywhere else. His fingers were long and thick and the press of two into your core has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Whether it was his cock or his fingers, you knew to always expect a stretch. And you loved it.
“Sooo good, Daddy,” is all you can muster as Mingyu sets a punishing pace that has you trembling in his arms in no time.
Each curl of his fingers sent a jolt down your spine that had you inching closer to the edge despite how Mingyu had just started.
“My pussy is taking two fingers so well,” He says, “I think three would be even better.”
You hate that he pulls his fingers out but you’re immediately placated when he brings the two fingers to his mouth to suck your slick off of them.
He makes a noise of delight before removing his fingers and leaning down. For a second you think he’s going to eat you out but instead Mingyu spits out the saliva and slick he’s collected in his mouth and lets it drip down from your clit. 
He moves back to take in the absolutely debauched state of your pussy, smiling to himself, pleased at how messy he’s gotten you, before spreading the wetness with his soiled fingers.
“Are you ready for three, little girl?” He asks, almost mocking. You preen at the nickname and at the promise of the stretch of three fingers inside of you.
Even with the preparation he had given you, he punches a deep exhale from you and he pushes three fingers. The fit is so tight that you can feel how the rough pads of his fingers are. He always did refuse to wear gloves when he lifted weights. Now you want to thank him for it, because the friction inside you makes you want to scream.
It doesn’t help how slowly he’s going either. He’s relishing in how your walls wrap around his fingers, how you tighten up when he slips in a little further. And when he crooks his fingers just right, he can feel how you’re getting just a little bit wetter, slicker.
“You take me so good,” He whispers against your lips, so close it's almost a kiss.
You’re breathless though, mouth slightly ajar, waiting for his tongue to slither between your lips. He doesn’t make a move though aside from a cocky smirk and an arched brow.
Mingyu lets his fingers continue on with their noble job of getting you closer and closer to the edge. Each push and pull of his digits inside you set your nerves alight, but the delicate movement of his right hands make you want to die.
Even as he’s coaxing and orgasm with three fingers on his left hand, the fingers on his right are tracing delicate swirls and unrecognizable patterns along your inner thigh. Every now and then they’d go higher, just by the lips of your pussy.
The pace is much too slow for your liking and you’re worried that your absence would start to seem suspicious. You weren’t at Mingyu’s training center where everything is kept under lock and key with a very well written NDA. You were at Music Bank where staff members were nosy and there was surely another girl group member roaming the halls, praying for your downfall.
“Daddy, faster,” Is all you can manage in between kisses on Mingyu’s jawline, licking a stripe to taste the salt of his sweat and that underlying tinge of just him.
You don’t expect his free hand to come and grip the underside of your jaw, his fingers long enough to reach both sides of your cheeks. He applies just the right pressure to squeeze your cheeks and force your lips into a pucker.
It would be cute if not for the look on Mingyu’s face.
“This is a birthday gift, angel. Be good while I give it to you, hmm?” He says as he begins to pick up the pace.
In no time the pace is punishing, the only thing slowing Mingyu down is how each push of his fingers back inside of you required a stretch and each time your walls made space for him inside you, you let out a little whimper.
When Mingyu presses his thumb against your clit, adding to the already intense pleasure, you can barely keep it together. In no time you feel the telltale signs of an inevitable orgasm.
No matter the method, every single orgasm Mingyu has ever given you was mind blowing, and this would be no exception. You feel the wetness dripping down your ass before you’re comprehending what exactly has happened, having difficulty in processing the immense pleasure coursing through you, your eyes slipping shut at the feeling of cumming all over Mingyu’s fingers.
Your walls tighten around him, even as you spill into his open palm and he continues to push in and out, droplets falling to the floor beneath you and between his feet.
Mingyu’s eyes are fixed on your entrance as he keeps you filled, pleased with how stretched out you are, ready for him to just slip in.
He pulls his fingers out only to move them to cover your clit, gently rubbing, keeping you on the precipice of pleasure, not allowing you a moment to come back to Earth. You’re in that heady space only he take you.
“Eyes open, baby. Watch daddy fuck his cock into you,” Mingyu says with a light slap to your face.
He moves and lifts your other leg up, maneuvering your hands that are wrapped around him to hold yourself open, keeping you fully spread open and seated on the dressing room counter.
Mingyu grasps his cock and gives himself one, two, three pumps to ease the initial need for friction, before he taps the now leaking tip against your clit. A pearlescent drop of precum falls on the hood of your clit and you watch, helpless as he harshly swipes at it with his thumb.
You hiss at rough handling but are immediately silenced when he brings the thumb up and shoves it into your mouth. He presses down on your tongue as if to wipe the cum off his finger. 
He grabs a fistful of the hair at the nape of your neck and smashes your mouths together. You love the way even his mouth seems to hold dominance over your own. The movements, no matter how unruly, are still just the right thing to get you going once more.
“We taste so good together, huh?” He whispers after fucking your mouth with his tongue. He pulls away slightly and lolls out his tongue to let a thick wad of spit fall from his lips down to your center.
The impact of the warm liquid has your gaping hole clenching around nothing.
It pleases Mingyu so much that he forgoes all the other teasing he initially had in mind and just guides the head of his cock to sop up the spit on your pussy before pushing in to the hilt in one thrust.
The blissed out sigh that you let out set him on fire.
Gone is the idea of long, languid strokes to stoke the fire in your belly. Instead he goes with a punishing pace that has high pitched cries slipping from your mouth.
His hands find the thickness of your ass to keep you in place, his hips doing all the work of rearranging your guts. In this angle and position, he can see how the head of his cock bulges in your abdomen slightly. It if was possible, he would have gotten harder.
Having already been so sensitive from hardly being able to come down from your first orgasm, Mingyu’s actions had you reeling into your second one in no time.
“My princess deserves to come already,” Mingyu says, slightly breathless, leaning his forehead on yours “Dad wants this pussy to never let him go.”
You nod in agreement, “It's yours forever. I love you.”
It almost seems pathetic for him to cum at those words, but it's a spectacular orgasm as he pulls out until only the head of his cock is inside you before he slams his hips flush to yours and letting himself flood your pussy with his cum.
You’re delirious as he keeps you steady,  pulling out so slowly to make sure you keep every single drop of him inside of you.
“Keep it in until you get home,” He says, “I want to slip right in the second you get through the door and still feel me inside you.”
You press your lips to his once, twice, and a third one for good measure before nodding excitedly.
“It’s your gift to me. I won’t let a single drop go to waste.”
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remy @ahreumtouch • may 8 GUYS I JUST READ THE CUTEST FAN ACCT FROM TODAY'S MUBANK WTFFFF
remy @ahreumtouch • may 8 There's a special guest at today's live performance!! After the Midas Touch recording there was a really loud and DEEP cheeer coming from backstage. The members were all looking to see who it was ijbol!!
remy @ahreumtouch • may 8 Ahreum was so happy when she figured out who it was that after bowing and greeting fans she left the stage but her mic was still on!!
huhu our baby was probably so happy and giggly as she always is! the op of the fan acct thinks its Mingyu!!
thank you Mingyu for loving and taking care of our precious Ahreum! 🥹🫧🩷
remy @ahreumtouch • may 8 CONFIRMED WTFFFFF 😭😭😭 Mingyu was seen leaving Music Bank today!!
SIR U R A FOOTBALLER U HAVE NO REASON TO BE AT MUSIC BANK IF NOT FOR UR IDOL GF!!
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teabutmakeitazure · 7 months
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Dissimulation Continued
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>Yan! Mafia! Childe x Fem! Student! Reader (modern au)
>Word count: 4.9k
>a/n: childe "leave your degree and be my wife" tartaglia. i dont think anything in this classifies as yan since its just a continuation of the original story but still tagging that since the original is yan. also, i wrote the beginning during my flight lol
Being housemates with a mafioso isn't a very ideal situation.
First Part | reasons why Childe is #1 husband | Continued Again
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Airports are holes in the fabric of time. Minutes and hours are blurred, the signature beeping sound before the limitless number of announcements causing an odd fogginess in your mind. They're surreal but comforting. You are forever a traveller there, only at the mercy of your own mistakes and mishaps.
A familiar hair colour stands out in the distance, rising above the lake of heads. Your luggage trolley is pushed closer and closer to that lake, but instead of relief, only a subtle feeling of dread settles in. It is true that in airports you are at the mercy of your own mistakes, but it is the same for the outside world. The only difference is that simply existing and being alive is not considered a mistake in the former.
The voice you've been hearing through your phone for the past weeks finally greets you directly from the source. Everything is a blur, your eyes focusing on the person who makes way through the busy crowd to get closer as the sounds become exceedingly loud. Slowly, you stop in your tracks, mind still under the haze of indistinguishable time. 
The first to go is your backpack, the item promptly removed from your shoulders. The next is the trolley. Your grip on it is gently loosened, and fingers snap in front of your face to dispel the haze from your mind.
"Earth to [Name]? Hey. You alright? The flight couldn't have been that bad, come on."
Your eyes blink a few times, the background chatter becoming more prominent and the face in front of you being focused on by your vision. Words refuse to form on your tongue, so you have to rely on your actions as a last resort. After closing your mouth with mild embarrassment, your eyes settle on his oversized t-shirt. Bare arms greet you when you look for a sleeve, so you settle with grabbing the side of his shirt instead. 
It’s still summer. Of course he’s wearing cap sleeves. The display of what one could easily pass off as clinginess causes him to take a step closer, his arm reaching to wrap around your shoulders. You refuse to directly look him in the eye, but allow the arm to slither around you. ‘I am with this person,’ the arm announces. ‘And we are more than what a first glance can reveal.’
“Are you feeling alright?” The arm pulls you inside a half-hug, the warmth of his body comforting with the smell of familiar cologne. “Did something happen?”
A shake of your head is all you can manage, but it is not accepted.
“Hey,” voice low, the arm around you travels upwards to gently run up and down your head. “Tell me. We’ve talked about this. Don’t hide anything from me. I only want to help.”
To yield and share your feelings with someone such as him is not easy, but you do so anyway, surprised at how easily you were able to speak. “It’s something silly,” you say, eyes glued to the floor. “I just miss home.”
The arm strokes your back comfortingly. There is more than just comfort in his voice. There is sympathy. “I understand.” Commiseration drips from his tone, a hint of melancholy behind the way he holds you closer. “We’ll get through it. Don’t worry.”
The hand grabbing the shirt is now wrapped with another, the warmth from both palms and the touch more noticeable than you would have preferred. Calluses are barely felt, but you know they are there. You saw them in detail right before you left for home. How could you ever forget?
With the other free hand, the trolley is pushed along as both of you walk to the exit. You say goodbye to the building and the odd feeling of time passing inside it. A familiar routine and life is welcomed in its stead, but the welcome is short lived.
You both have stopped walking.
“[Name]?”
You raise your head but do not meet his eyes.
“You haven’t looked at me since you got here.”
Pointing out your actions is cruel, but so is your treatment. Thus, you capitulate like you always do. The sight of the familiar dull blues is something you did not want to welcome but you do.
“Sorry.” You try your best to give a smile even if it’s shaky and uncertain. “I’m just… shaken up. I’ll be alright in a few hours.”
Unfortunately for you, the devil has another demand. “Say my name. You haven’t even said my name yet.”
“Childe?”
“No,” he shakes his head. “My name.”
A light bulb shines above your head, and you immediately respond. “Ajax.”
He smiles. “Again.”
“Ajax.”
You’re near the car before you know it. 
The sun is setting which paints the sky in a beautiful gradient of red and yellow, hints of magenta red peeking through the clouds. The car’s trunk opens and your luggage is promptly placed inside. Your company for the evening comes to stand in front of you, and your eyes instead go to the constellations of freckles dusting across his cheeks. Diverting your attention to him seems to please him because he’s smiling at you.
“It’ll be night by the time we’re there.”
Your statement makes Childe turn around and face the sunset as well. Somehow the mahogany coloured t-shirt is a perfect compliment to the sky’s colours, his hair glowing a fiery red with the sunset behind him.
“If it’ll be night,” he says, hand reaching for the phone inside his pocket, “you can go home and sleep. You need the rest.”
“No.” Childe turns to look at you, phone in hand, but you continue speaking. “I need to call my mom. She said to call when I reach the airport.”
The questioning look on his face turns into a smile. “What do you think I’m doing right now?”
You raise a brow. “Taking me home?”
“No,” he shakes his head. “With my phone. What do you think I’m doing with my phone?”
Your eyes widen when he clarifies, mouth agape before you compose yourself. “Oi. I’m supposed to talk to her, not you.”
Childe’s thumb presses something on his phone, cheeky grin infuriating you further. “Too late. I sent her a text. I told her I picked you up and that we’re on our way home.”
Mouth having fallen open again, you stomp towards him. Aiming for his phone doesn’t help, for he simply raises it above his head and takes a step back. Thus, you grab onto his shirt’s neckline and pull. The smile falls from his face only to return when he’s barely an inch away from your face, noses almost brushing.
“[Name],” he breathes, eyes staring into yours, “I’m sure this counts as public indecency. Let’s go home first.”
Unbothered, you simply sigh. “I told you. I’m supposed to talk to her. Not you.”
Childe pulls away, his hand gently undoing your grip on his shirt. “And why’s that? Maintaining a good relationship with your family is important.”
“If my mother finds out I’m with you so often, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
He blinks, obviously not having understood. “Isn’t that good?”
“No!”
Childe tilts his head, hair no longer glowing in the sunset. It’s starting to get dark now. “Explain.”
With a groan, you humour him, albeit begrudgingly. “She’ll scold me for being too carefree. I don’t want her on my case all the time.”
“Alright,” he whines. “Come on. Let’s go home. You need some dinner and rest.”
The car park’s street lights illuminate the area, and following Childe you get into the passenger seat. With a huff, you look at his smile - that upturn of his lips seemingly always present in front of you - and plop down onto the seat only to feel… ‘something’ under you. Childe raises a questioning brow as you halfway stand up, trying to grab whatever hard object was under you.
It would be a lie to say you weren’t daunted when a heavy, cold metal object sat in your palm.
Like throwing away a scalding hot piece of iron, you fling the gun to the back seat, eyes boring holes into the item as it lays in the back. Almost as on cue, memories of what had occurred pre-departure flood back in mockingly. It was foolish to be even slightly comfortable around him. Have you forgotten your differences?
“Woah! Careful there!” Childe glances at the firearm sitting on the back seat, but quickly turns back to you. Seeing how your chest is heaving as you look ahead, he breathes a sigh of relief. At least he used the safety lever so that it accidentally doesn’t fire. That would have ended badly.
He watches as you pay him no mind, eyes focused on what you can see through the dashboard’s glass. “Hey,” he whispers gently, “I left it there by mistake. My bad.”
You put a hand over your throat, fingers pressed to your right carotid artery. The continuously pumping blood grounds you. It grounds you, but it provides no comfort. Whatever strength remains in you after a long trip is what helps you compose yourself again.
“Let’s just go home.”
Your words are taken as a command, and Chide nods, immediately reversing the car out of the parking space. It’s completely dark now, the sky only illuminated by the moon and whatever stars are visible with the light pollution. As you exit the airport premises, you allow yourself to immerse in the silence.
Head resting against the window, you close your eyes. It’s a shame your family doesn’t know about your new living arrangements.
-
The first thing to greet you at your new accommodation is silence. The next is the sound of your phone ringing. The bag on your shoulders is eased off as you press the device to your ear, Childe leaving the thing on the sofa. Silver chalice coloured polished tiles stare back at you as you greet your mother while your new mafioso ‘housemate’ drags your luggage to your room.
After reassuring your mother that you have reached home safely, you excuse yourself with wanting to rest, something she respects and immediately cuts the call for. Now, your greatest conundrum faces you with crossed arms, dull blue eyes observing you instead of simply looking. It’s a test. You know it.
Thus, being the good student that you are, you play along. It is absolutely crucial that you do so because there is only one thing that may land you in hot water: your refusal to cooperate. Despite all that, there are boundaries you will not allow to be crossed, no matter how much he insists.
“Are you sure about the guest room?” Childe patiently eyes you as you mull over an answer. Eyes still taking in every minute detail of your body, he doesn’t miss you biting your lip for a moment.
With a meek voice that you know is his weakness, you mutter a yes. “I’m sorry,” you excuse yourself. “I don’t think I’ll be comfortable sharing a room just yet.”
“Well,” Childe tries again, grabbing the backrest of the sofa behind him for support, “maybe we could live in the same room, but uh, I’ll go to the guest room to sleep. Then we can slowly get comfortable with each other-”
“Childe.”
He blinks. “Yes?”
“Please.” You make it a point to slightly frown, just to garner his sympathy. “I promise I’m not being distant. I’m just… not comfortable yet.”
He sighs, the sound bouncing off the newly painted walls. “Fine. I don’t want to overwhelm you.” His commiseration, although begrudging, is welcomed on your end. Thus, to show your gratitude, you walk up to him and pat his cheek twice. The action makes his eyes widen as he looks at you, and you’re again reminded of how simple-minded he is at times. It’s almost cute… if you ignore the other stuff.
“Do you… want me to be next to you while you sleep?” Childe asks. “It’s a new environment for you. M-maybe my presence will help you fall asleep.”
You smile at him, thankful that he’s caring about your comfort. Nevertheless, you’ll be fine, so you decline. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ll be fine. I’m sure I’ll pass out as soon as I hit the pillow.”
He’s still looking at you like a sad puppy in hope you’ll change your mind. You do not. “Fine,” Childe yields. “Just call me if you need anything. I’ll… wake you up for dinner. You can nap until then.”
Just the thought of bed makes you sleepy, so you nod and head for your new living quarters. Unfortunately, you do not turn to look at your new housemate’s empty gaze.
-
It takes great strength to open your eyes, even if for just a moment, but you do not bother with waking up. Turning to the other side instead, you snuggle deeper into the cover with the contentment that your mother will come and wake you up whenever appropriate. And she does. The warm hand that rests on your cheek caresses the skin gently, a voice hesitantly calling your name.
The realisation that the hand and voice do not belong to your mother is cruel, but it suffices to instantly wake you up with a startle.
Blue. That is what you first see.
The mattress underneath you feels too hard for a moment, and you feel as though you are somewhere unfamiliar, somewhere you mustn't be. The feeling seems to be a mockery created by your mind, but you allow yourself to breathe before listening to the culprit of your disturbed sleep.
“Sorry.” You give no reaction to Childe’s apology. He continues, “It’s starting to get late, and I didn’t want to wake you up for dinner but decided against that because you probably haven’t eaten in a while.”
You continue to stare at him, giving him a look that says, ‘so?’ but he doesn’t seem bothered. Instead, he has the gall to grab your hand from underneath the cover.
“Let’s eat together.”
Childe ends up receiving a very tired raised eyebrow from you before you actually make a move to get up. However, before he could comment on your tired state and ask you to stay in bed, you have thrown the cover off your body and are already on your way to the living room. It makes him sigh, but he doesn’t complain.
Dinner is late and quiet. It’s around half past ten, but Childe doesn’t mind since you don’t have class in the morning. He took a day off as well, just to make up for lost time. The last time he saw you was weeks ago. Of course he wants to spend time with you.
You, on the other hand, down the home cooked meal without any second thought, brain still on autopilot. It makes you feel bad since you don’t have the energy to compliment his cooking, but hey. He woke you up from a deep sleep. He should feel bad. Nevertheless, the cook shamelessly asks about his cooking.
“Did you like it?”
You blink up at him, responding with a sigh. “I’m too tired to taste it.”
Hands folded over his chest, his portion of food is also gone. “I see. Want to go to bed again? I’ll lay down with you till you fall asleep.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Childe gives you a look again, one that reminds you just how easily his dull eyes make you acquiesce. Despite fighting it, you fail and give in like you always do. “Okay okay,” you grumble. His celebratory smile falls when you elaborate. “But no getting into bed with me. You can uh… just sit there.”
“Why not?” The tilt of his head is accentuated by his slightly furrowed brows. It honestly reminds you of a kid trying to negotiate a later bedtime with his mother. “I promised you I won’t try anything you don’t want me to.”
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is?”
Sensing an argument coming up, you decide to steer the conversation elsewhere. There is too much at stake to anger him just because you’re tired, and you would rather not act like a whining child simply to get what you want. No. You are better than his tactics. Better, but not necessarily perfect.
“I’m sorry,” you say, voice low and dejected, “I just want to be alone. I just got back from home and everything feels so weird.” You sigh, simply to make a point. “If I was living in the dorms, I would’ve still been in bed. I really appreciate you, truly, but I just want to be alone. Living alone isn’t easy.”
He counters almost instantly. “You aren’t alone.”
“I meant family,” you clarify. “Being away from family isn’t fun.”
A pensive expression takes over his face. Childe actually looks like he’s thinking, the gears in his head moving as he tries to make sense of your words. Though they were only to get him to back off and subtly establish your boundaries, not everything was a lie. Well, some of it at least.
“Alright,” he surrenders. “I’ll sit next to you.”
Funnily enough, sleep comes easy with his presence. The fact had baffled you when you woke up in the morning, but the plentiful rest ceased any thinking on your part.
-
Like a sponge slowly soaking up water as it’s left over a water stain, Childe has entered almost every part of your life. He has consumed it entirely, trapping you within his confines as every single activity remains scrutinised. You had first thought you were the sponge, but you were mistaken. Childe is the sponge. You are the water he has soaked up and gotten hold of.
The power is in his hands. Though it’s not unpleasant most of the time, his proprietorial behaviour never fails to remind you of the numerous differences in both your personalities and mentalities. At first, you were able to subtly manipulate him like you did when you first got back. Unfortunately, he has either realised your tactic or grown immune to your tired expressions with displeased frowns and sweet pleadings.
You have no idea what to do.
It absolutely does not help that you are under the added stress of your studies and with no means of clearing your mind because you aren’t sure how to go out with your friends. It also doesn’t help that you simply don’t have the time to go out with your friends. 
Rubbing your eyes, you cross out the name of a particular course before clicking on the submit button. The word ‘submitted’ appears in front of ‘assignment 3’, and you instantly put your head down on the table. As usual, your laptop’s screen turns off after its three minute timer is up, prompting your mind to start thinking over your next assignment.
There’s around five days to the deadline and it’s an essay. Perhaps having it drip with affectation might impress the tutor. She is one for grandiose after all. All you’ll need is to find synonyms of every other word and make them sound pretentious. Yes, that’ll do. Just make a rough draft and then edit it with the synonyms so that it’s easier to write and organise your ideas.
Wait… you haven’t even done the reading yet. How are you supposed to write it without doing the required reading? 
Taking a peek at the clock on the wall, you make a mental note of reading and writing down main points and ideas before bed. That’s the only thing you have the energy left to do. Maybe you’ll watch a movie tonight, forget any academic obligations and let the mistakes take over.
“Sulking? Or tired?”
Your beloved housemate’s voice calls out from somewhere behind. That gives you a very clear idea that he’s invited himself inside the room. The door was closed. You didn’t hear anything.
Without raising your head, you mumble out your reply. “Both.”
A chuckle, and you hear him sitting down on the bed. “Wow. You sound like you need a twelve hour sleep.”
“Maybe I need twenty.”
“Yeah,” he chuckles again, “you’re going to need drugs for that.”
With a sigh, you raise your head, eyes staring at Childe’s blurry reflection on your laptop’s screen. “Maybe a drug cartel-ish business would’ve been easier. How much do you make again?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “I don’t really need to keep track. It’s more than enough.”
“Show-off.”
“To be fair there are no drugs involved.”
You raise a brow at his reflection. “Then what is?”
“Hm.” Childe crosses his arms, faking deep thought. “You would have to be assassinated if I told you. Which is obviously unpreferable.”
“Yeah. I’m good then. Keep your secrets.”
He laughs again, louder this time. “Technically, spouses are immune to that rule. You’re gonna have to marry me if you want to know.”
A click of your tongue and you turn to look at him. Your expression is anything but playful. “Keep your secrets.” Now that you see the burnt maroon shirt and black pants, you figure that he just came back home. He’s even wearing his gloves.
“Oh, come on [Name]. I’m not that bad.”
You don’t reply.
“I am…?”
“No comment,” you deadpan. With that, you turn back to your laptop and turn it back on. Quietly, you close the pdf files of your submitted assignment and open the ones relating to the essay you need to turn in. By your estimate, you need to do lots of brainstorming, so if you start right now, you can get it done in around three days.
A hand flat on the table next to yours and warm breath over your ear startle you as you attempt to start reading. “Week six,” Childe reads, “the emotional mind: emotion, reason, and consciousness. Discuss the argument the author of this document has laid out and present your own views on the topic he is discussing. There is no right or wrong answer. You will be graded over your coherency in your writing and skills in identifying any possible discrepancies or invalidity of arguments. Please feel free to contact me or your tutor if you need help. The format is the same as what we discussed in class. Good luck.”
You open the document that is your required reading for the assignment and hear a grumble from Childe. He moves closer to you and instinctively, you lean forward to maintain what little distance there was. Gently, he coaxes your hand off the touchpad and asks if there’s any unsaved progress in the tabs you’ve opened. Once you say no, he closes everything.
After shutting down the laptop, he picks it up and places it on a side table. “Take a break,” he says. “You don’t need to work so hard.”
Tired, you’re almost tempted into listening to him but snap out of it when you hear what he says next.
“I’m going to take care of you, so even if something happens and you can’t complete the degree, you don’t have to worry.”
The statement makes you frown and you clearly show your displeasure with your expression and words. "That's not very nice."
He simply shrugs. "All I'm saying is that there's no pressure on you. Take it easy."
"The kind of pressure you're talking about is irrelevant."
Childe shifts his weight from one foot to the other, hand on a hip. "Is it? In what way," he challenges. "You left home to come to a different country to study. Of course there's pressure to succeed. I'm just trying to ease that."
"No. You're not." You finally find the courage to look straight into his challenging stare, unyielding despite feeling your heart start to beat faster. "You might be trying on your end, but it just makes me feel worse."
Your chest rises with every beat of your heart, the lub dub clearly audible in your ears. Again, Childe shifts his weight onto the other foot. He’s still looking at you that way, and it’s freaking you out. How can his stare be so… overwhelming? 
“If you really think,” he says, “that what I say makes it worse, then I’m sorry.”
Out of surprise, you look over his expression but the furrowed brows fail to show any sign of insincerity despite his flat tone. The discrepancy makes you frown again, but you don’t bother explaining the expression to him. “Alright,” you say. With that, you go back to your table only to stare at the empty space in front of you.
There’s eraser dust around the table, your stationery haphazardly lying around and a single notebook open. There’s also your phone and a little packet of salted peanuts to munch on while studying. You hear a deep inhale from somewhere behind you but don’t bother pausing your aimless staring. It’s the sudden physical presence behind you that demands your attention back.
“[Name].”
Be mature about this, you tell yourself. There’s no need to be petty and say something neither of you will like.
At your silence, he continues. “[Name], are you… mad at me?”
Of course not! I love it when you say that you’ve cemented the idea of the both of us together. You start, “Childe-”
“Ajax.”
“Ajax,” you correct yourself, “gosh I’m still not used to that name. Anyway, I’m not mad at you.”
There’s a sound of disbelief that comes from behind you. “You’re not even looking at me!”
“I’m processing not having to use my brain. Give me a moment.”
He scoffs this time. “I don’t believe you. You’re doing the same thing. You’re being distant again.”
“I’m not,” you defend.
“Yes. Yes, you are. I know how this will inevitably go down. You’re going to grow more distant and talk less until there’s a confrontation that leaves you crying.” Childe continues despite your silence. “I don’t want that.”
It forces you to think he’s selfish, that he only thinks for himself when he says that he doesn’t want that, but despite wanting to think so, you know that he says that for you. His countenance gives away what his words cannot, and you still remember the face he made when it had happened.
That pure horror and regret is one of the reasons why despite his actions you still respect this man. Maybe it’s the only reason you don’t scream at him everyday, be acrimonious and cry yourself to sleep over your predicament. He may have taken over your life, but he also undoubtedly and unequivocally loves and cares for you. Even if he sometimes looks at you like you’re hiding something.
You will ignore the occasional watchful eyes in favour of the care he is capable of. Perhaps, or even most likely, it is the only reason why you think twice before speaking when you’re in a bad mood.
“So,” Childe says, a hand now next to yours on the table as he leans closer behind you, “let’s talk it over, okay?"
A question pops up in your mind, and you voice it after pulling your hand under the table. “Talk over what? I was just about to say that I’ll try my best not to do that again. And as for right now, I’m really just processing things. I’m tired.”
“Hm,” he hums. “The offer is still on the table. I can make your life easy. All you need to do is give me one chance.”
You scoff. “Easy? I think my life is easy enough. I don’t have to work, only study. Heck, you even do the groceries and cook more than half of the time.”
“I suppose you have a point.” In one swift movement, your chair is grabbed by the backrest and dragged to the edge of the bed. There, Childe seats himself, satisfied at the eye contact. “But I could make it easier.”
Arms now crossed, you respond to his offer with a question. “What, so you’re a magician now? I didn’t know you had a side gig.”
He laughs, boyish and charming. “Of course not. I’m just telling you what I can do for you. Nothing more.” 
The smile on his face unsettles you. It’s one of the scheming ones. The one he has when he’s cooking up something that definitely is not food. Nevertheless, his little ‘clarification’ is met with nothing more than nonchalance on your end.
“Alright,” you shrug. “Thanks for making me take a break. I really needed it.”
He’s still smiling, albeit differently this time. It’s morphed into something more sincere, something more warm and welcoming. The look in his eyes is no way the same. “Absolutely. There’s no way I wouldn’t help you.”
The conversation seems almost over, and you are about to get up to lie on your bed when a demand pauses your movements. “Say my name,” he says. “I love hearing my name from you.”
You know why he asks that of you sometimes. It grounds him, reminds him of who he is behind the red mask that lays next to the vase on the side table. Gloves are peeled off, and hypnotised by the reveal of the long fingers underneath them, you mindlessly give your reply.
“Ajax.”
“[Name],” he breathes.
You are just as breathless. “Ajax.”
Face now resting in his palm, his smile is small but affectionate. “[Name].” Eyes follow as well, turning into something more soft. You finally see the image of someone adoring and can’t help the almost desperate call that slips from your mouth.
“Ajax.”
You do not know who you were calling to.
1K notes · View notes
partycatty · 4 months
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you write for mk11 gramps johnny? have serious brain rot for him
if so could you write a fic of him dicking us down for being a brat? u can make up a plot or not i just need it and need him. love ur writing either way!!
- 💙
alright, im using this ask but i have a very specific image for this rn. this is gonna be a meaty post so hear me out
older!johnny cage > waste ur time
this is based off of the song WasteUrTime by Kevin Walkman with some lyrics (in pink) sprinkled in. you and johnny have a clear age gap, trying to avoid giving into desires, but 3am rolls around and you consider the idea of having a late night visitor.
warnings: smutty, age gap, ur both horny demons, virgin reader, i dont know how military ranks work, affair, sonya never gets Rocked
notes: this is going to be a little more artsy that what i usually do, so apologies if the format change is not ideal. this is more of an actual fic than bullet points. also the lyrics are out of order and not all included, so you don't need the song to enjoy this!
word count: 2.6k
[ masterlist ]
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give me a glass of your innocence.
training was hard, your skin glistening with sweat and your face flushed from overexertion. the task was relatively simple; to climb up a deeply sloped wooden platform using nothing but your grip and momentum. your comrades were cheering you on, including briggs, commander cage, her mother, and her father. straining yourself to grip the ledge of the platform, you finally hoist yourself up and stand upright, not before doubling over to pant.
the others applaud and surround you with cheers. a firm hand finds its place square on your back, rubbing in circles.
"atta girl," the voice leans into your ear with an audible grin. "knew you had it in you."
your head turns to thank the disconnected voice, but out of your fuzzy mind, the realization pulls through that none other than your superior, johnny cage was the one congratulating you so intimately. his praise makes your cheeks flush even darker and your gaze averts, too afraid of such direct appreciation which johnny notes. you weren't used to compliments.
this is my creation, here's your invitation.
you knew something intense was brewing with each lingering stare or gentle squeeze to your shoulder. how intense exactly, you couldn't pick out. with minimal experience with others lusting for you, it didn't register in your head at first just how hungrily he gazed at you. not that you were complaining necessarily, he was part-time action star, part-time military leader. he was built, charismatic, and a family man. it felt impossible to not feel weak in the knees around him.
johnny knew he had an effect on you, as he did most others. despite watering down his hollywood charisma, he couldn't bring himself to deny how sexy he was at his older age. something about a buff salt and pepper man telling you what to do had you following commands like a dog, doing anything it takes to have him praise you more.
even still, you couldn't do anything about it. johnny was a married man. his family was your coworkers, hell, it was their job to command you! the guilty thoughts would creep up on you no matter how badly you wanted to avoid them. couldn't you have chosen a more... single man?
you seem so damn nervous.
"how can i be of service?" johnny asks, leaning his front half forward ever so slightly to show you he was interested in every word that dripped from your lips. your vision was too blurred from anxiety to properly articulate what you needed from him, so you nervously swirled your drink. damn the special forces and their free alcohol parties.
"how do you do it?" you ask with a stammer. "earthrealm, netherrealm, tarkatans, ninjas, thunder gods. it all feels so unreal. how do you stay so calm?"
"mm," he hums, lowering his own glass after a brief sip. "well, you get used to it. turns out i was born to a mediterranean war cult's gene pool. watched my daughter kick an elder god's ass while i got maggots down my throat. went face-to-face with younger me. there are just some things that are too damn ridiculous to ever fully understand, so i accept it for what it is. when you're my age, fighting for all of these otherworldly things, most of the little things feel like a walk in the park."
"don't get me wrong, sir, i'll fight for earthrealm, but this is all so... dizzying."
johnny visibly tenses up at 'sir.' "tell you what," he grabs his drink napkin and opens a sharpie with his teeth. "you ever wanna talk about it with someone that's seen everything, you come to me." he writes his personal phone number on the napkin and places it in your palm with a smile.
you fidget with the paper before pocketing it, worried you'd pick at it too much and rip it to shreds before you could save the digits. the most you could bring yourself to do was half-bow, half-nod before scurrying away to the bathroom to cool your hot face. johnny could only chuckle to himself with a shake of his head.
long walks of shame look so good on you.
a long time was spent staring at the new conversation on your phone. despite your inexperience, there was a simmering feeling that johnny didn't just give you his number to let you vent. he wanted to talk to you outside of work. the thought makes you sweat.
why would he want to talk to you? if he wanted conversation, he would reach out to his wife and kid. he had it all, and yet he still wanted to put everything on the line for you.
you're moving fast, and i'm into it.
"lieutenant. it's reader," you shoot a simple text out, lying to yourself when you justify texting him for the sake of him saving your number. it was late, too late to be texting your superior. another lie you told yourself: i'll just send the message now so he sees it in the morning! your shameful justifications are ripped from you when you receive a reply, almost immediately.
"couldn't it have waited until the morning?" he replies bluntly, and you're ready to type out a spew of apologies before a second text comes through. "i'm teasing. johnny, by the way. no need for titles."
"sorry." you try to remain professional with your response, fingers dancing wildly across your keyboard. your eyes flicker up to the clock in the top corner, realizing it's well into the night. "didn't expect a response so late. have a good night, lieutenant."
you're ready to throw your phone out of the nearest window out of sheer embarrassment, but you stop when you feel another buzz come through. your stomach flips.
"johnny. you usually stay up late?" he texts, drawing the conversation out much to your surprise. "it's 3:30 in the morning."
"my day's been so boring," you decide to lean into the more casual chat, hoping to find a softer side to your boss. you should feel disgusted, repulsed, put off. he was double your age and then some. but dear god, his attention on you was hypnotizing even if it was just words on a screen. "hoping to waste some time before tomorrow comes. lots of training."
johnny's reply takes a suspiciously long time to come through, his bubble appearing and disappearing. just before you thought you lost the conversation, a photo comes through. johnny's laying in bed, hair ruffled and shirtless. his eyes have a soft, pleading look to them and his lips are curled into a pretty smile. the tiniest glimpse of his chest tattoo pokes through the bottom of the image, and you had to make a conscious effort to swallow your drool and close your jaw. you almost don't notice the text attached.
"maybe i could waste your time?"
you choke on your saliva, glancing off to the corner of your room as if an invisible camera was perched there. this man held zero shame, that much was true. you suppose it's from his age. there's only so much time in one life, so he's seizing every moment. it terrified you, to the depths of your core.
"i don't follow," you text back, playing dumb. this was genuinely unbelievable to you, you needed to hear more from his perspective to make sure you weren't actually dreaming or reading too far into his offer.
"come on, girl," he teasingly responds. "don't play dumb. i may be old, but i'm still sharp." another photo slides into the chat, the same idea s his previous one but now fully displaying his torso. his broad chest with his name painted on it was now boldly on display. his hand laid flirtatiously on his abs, fingers spread out. at the very bottom, you could make out the beginning of a thick tent in his pajama pants. it was like every inch of this man was maximized. you'd seen his shirtless form in his old movies, but seeing it now... it was personal. that photo was for you. "i know you're still fucking with me. i see how you look at me." you bite your lip, wondering if maybe sonya was sharing the other side of the bed. your stomach churns.
"i mean..." you leave the text at that, rapidly typing and deleting. you're not quite sure what to say, how to carry this now heated conversation. you'd never... had to before. "if i may state the obvious, you're... older. and my boss. and married."
his replies stop for a good couple minutes. you wonder if maybe he was regretting his advance. you hoped not.
"is it something that you'd mind?" johnny asks, hesitation in his words as he breaks away from his flirty comments. his question makes you ponder. you were a virgin at your age, holding onto this trait longer than almost everyone at a similar age to you. work was your priority, never giving yourself enough time for a serious commitment. but here you were. johnny was throwing something onto the table that you never expected to happen. were you going to pass this up and stay a virgin forever? hell, no!
"sent you my location. let's try something new, lieutenant."
"johnny." he corrects you one final time before falling completely silent on his end. your stomach twists and churns wildly, realizing you have opened the flood gates to a hookup with your boss. you throw your pajamas off and replace them with a cuter, coordinating pair. you brush your teeth again and try to fix your hair into a neater updo, not impacted by the friction of your pillowcase. shoes and various discarded belongings are shoved under the bed and into the closet. you hadn't had male company, well, ever. you had to come off as somewhat decent for him.
jesus christ, your mind grows dizzy. you were going to lose your virginity, now, or in however long it takes for him to arrive at you apartment. you're not far from work, and even still the time it took for you to hear footsteps in the hallway must have been a century at the minimum. you were seriously going through with this because it was about damn time you enjoyed yourself and spiced shit up.
the heavy footsteps come to a halt, the shadow overtaking the faint hallway light glowing. a part of you wants to hide, maybe jump out of your fire exit. your nerves were blinding, and taking the steps to the entrance felt like an olympic sport. that is, until a new text appears.
"let me inside."
do you open the door? leaning against it, you can smell his musk just through the crack alone. damn his hypnotic... everything. if you open the door, his entire career, marriage, and life could be over. that is, if you spill. you wouldn't.
keeping shit a secret fits you like a glove.
you slowly open the door, hand frozen on the doorknob as you're met with your boss towering over you with a heavy look in his eyes. it's hard to avoid his own hesitation too, but his hard breathing betrays his morals. he looks ready to pounce at any given moment. johnny's mouth opens first, but you beat him to it.
"i'm a virgin," you blurt, mind too empty to feel embarrassed at the fact. you felt the need to tell him now, before he was on top of you and you laid there like a fool.
johnny's brows raise up ever so slightly. "what?"
the heat of the admittance catches up to you, and you twiddle with the hem of your shorts. you repeat yourself meekly, letting the predicament set in between the two of you.
"that's..." he trails off, glancing into your room. "um."
"i'm sorry-" your face heats up, your eyes pricking with tears at the awkward air. "i just... i didn't want you to be surprised, because i don't know what i'm doing."
something new stirs in johnny's core as he understands the weight of the situation. his fists clench and he takes a lumbering step toward you. you back up on instinct.
"that's alright," he purrs, voice hitting a new low, one that's far away from his professional volume. "'cause i'll take care of you. i've got you."
he stands up straight, scratching the back of his neck.
"if you'll have me... i guess that speaks for itself. i'm here, aren't i?"
you nod with a nervous chuckle. your bodies move in sync as you figure out where to put your hands. they settle on his neck, wrapping your arms around him to pull him in. his hands hold your waist. jesus, his hands are big. you'd kissed before, so this is familiar territory.
"i'll take that as a yes," his eyes flick to your lips, visibly restraining himself from fully taking advantage of you. he leans in for a tender kiss, your lips and his moving together. it turns heated quick, with his tongue darting out to get a taste of your mouth which you accept gratefully.
johnny's hands trail down to your ass, cupping the underside as if his hands were destined to fit there. he tugs upward, and you understand what he's trying to do. you jump up and break the kiss momentarily so your legs trap his waist. in between make out sessions, you guide him through your apartment to the bedroom. his lips taste bitter like alcohol but cleanly sweet. exactly how you imagined.
your mind is hazy with lust, your pussy clenching around nothing as you envision taking a monster like him for the first time. a part of you wonders if it's even possible. instead of throwing you onto the mattress, he lowers you like a princess, supporting your head and back with each hand which does nothing to help your aching wetness pooling between your legs.
johnny's lips dive to your jaw, sucking and biting tenderly. you wince, but replace the noise with a lustful gasp as he soothes the pain with his hot tongue. you want to clench your thighs together to relieve the throbbing pressure, but johnny's hands pry your legs open as his hips fit perfectly between them. like a forbidden puzzle piece. you feel his cock rub through your pajamas, and your mouth gathers drool.
johnny finds any possible plush flesh of your neck to take in, kissing wetly as he gently ruts into you, not even realizing he's doing it. he needed to explore every inch of this new body, this new lover... his mistress.
if you were to start praying for forgiveness, it'd be now. you internally cursed sonya for getting her hands on him before you could. your chest burned with jealousy and desire. he was so evilly delicious, and every inch of him needed to be inside before you'd start sobbing. your hands fly forward and tug him forward by his waistband.
"need you," is the most you can coherently ask for, blinded by your horniness. johnny pulls away from your collar, panting in your face. he can't bring himself to look directly in your eyes, your wet, pleading eyes.
"you..." he swallows thickly, brows knitting together. he frowns. "you can't tell anyone. you know that, right?''
you nod with a small whine. you wanted him to just shut up and fuck you.
"hhh - won't say anything," you huff back, gliding your dampened bottoms across his dick with need. he groans, and buries his head in your neck, a deep sigh sending goosebumps across you skin.
"atta girl..."
so hit me up when you feel down i'll make your ass stay 'til sundown i understand what you've been through 'cause I'm a sorry sucker too i know you're scared and that's alright just let me love you for the night
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raainberry · 6 months
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Chill(y)
« silly series - 4 »
Sana x gn!reader
Fluff
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synopsis - just a case of those insanely cold winter mornings except you have a cute gf to warm up with
wordcount - 801
T/W - one singular soft cuss word, also suggestive
A/N - IDK ABOUT YALL BUT ITS COLD AS BALLS OUTSIDE MY GOSH. every winter i’m appalled at the temperature drops in the morning, the only good thing this year is that i got inspired. i actually dont use Sana’s name btw so if you wanna imagine someone else, you’re free to do so it’s none of my business, ENJOY
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Getting woken up by the mattress bouncing a couple times underneath you wasn’t something you expected the night before.
Confusion levels were high, and the sheets ruffling together behind you weren’t any help. You had to open your eyes and look over your shoulder to find answers.
You still didn’t really know what to expect, but seeing your girlfriend shivering as she adjusted the blanket around her own body nearly got it off yours.
“What are you doing?” You mumbled still half asleep.
“It’s so cold.” She complained as she continued to wrap her body in whatever way she could. “Like, actually freezing it’s insane.”
You chuckled, rubbing your eyes before turning on your back. “Did you turn the heater on?”
“No, do you want me to die?”
You rolled your eyes at her drama and began to sit up in order to do it yourself. Sure, there was a possibility she wasn’t exaggerating, but that’s one more reason to do it. The love of your life will not freeze to death on your watch.
“Where are you going?” She asked with her head peeking out of the covers.
“Going to turn the heater on.” You answered, throwing the covers off yourself before leaving a kiss on her forehead.
“Okay, well hurry. I don’t want to go retrieve your frozen body in the hallway… I’m not in the mood.”
You only laughed, promising her that it would only take a couple minutes—and it did take a couple minutes, but that was two minutes too long.
She was not exaggerating at all, even the wooden floors beneath your feet felt cold to the touch. You ended up having to sprint back to your bed the way she had done a moment ago.
The sight seemed to amuse her according to the giggles that left her lips and bounced off your bedroom walls. You couldn’t ignore them, nor how they warmed you up on their own on this cold morning.
The way she opened her arms up to invite you into her blanket cocoon made you sway. You gladly jumped into it with the biggest smile, letting her coddle you as you focused on actually warming yourself up.
“Don’t laugh, that was you five minutes ago.” You said, snuggling into her side.
“So what? You should have laughed then too.” She shrugged.
You ignored her words as an idea popped in your mind. It was a little mean, and you felt a little bad about it, but the eventual reward of hearing her laugh was enough to make you proceed.
So instead of answering her, you snuck your cold hand beneath her shirt. Your fingers only grazed her skin, but it was enough to make her shriek at the temperature shock.
“Y/n!” She whined, slapping your hand away as the annoyance in her voice turned into the melodious giggles you loved so much.
“What? You can do the same.”
“It’s not fair, my hands are warm now.”
“And I need to warm up. Sounds ideal to me.” You shrugged innocently. “Although, I would like it either way…”
“This behavior will only get you on the naughty list.” She warned, reminding you of how close the year-end festivities were.
“I wouldn’t mind not getting presents.” You shrugged again before adding, “That means you’re all I need by the way.”
“Am I weak or was that good?” She wondered, making you laugh.
“That was easily my worst work, I’m sorry baby, but you’re weak.”
“Your worst work, huh?” She repeated, and you nodded. “Well your fingers have been doing a great job…”
She finally acknowledged the random shapes you gently caressed all over her side, and your heart started racing as the near future she let on allowed various ideas to bloom in your mind.
“Maybe I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself.” She whispered, making the moment that much more intimate.
You only smiled at her suggestion. As much as the ideas were enough for your blood to rise in temperature, it was just too damn cold.
“I’m sorry, I just can’t right now. There’s no way I’m getting out of this blanket.”
“You tease. Who said you’d have to get out of it?” She pointed out, leaving soft kisses along your jawline only for you to try and get away from them.
“Come on, Y/n, can you think of a better way to warm up?”
“Yes, by cuddling you like this and going back to sleep so I can ignore it” You argued, nuzzling your face further into her neck, where she couldn’t access any of your weaknesses.
You felt her breathe in before letting it out in a heavy sigh. “You’re lucky I like you.”
“I know, that’s what I tell myself everyday.”
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iravinirattu · 10 months
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ik im late but im playing through kaveh's hangout event and. the haikaveh brainrot is real
since these losers can't do it themselves i am here to offer my translation services ‼️
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al haitham you liar. we are in a library using our indoor voices you did NOT hear us.
and even if you did mr. "i hate small talk" why'd u walk over hmm?? hmm??
"dont mind if i ignore you, i've got my earphones in" <- applies to everyone except kaveh
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"okay now that i've gotten him distracted tell me what's wrong so i can discreetly fix it"
mans literally sent kaveh away to boost his confidence a bit + find out if he was okay.
"you annoted those books with such long and beautiful notes that eveyone hated lolol anyways check out those shelfs where there's a book with someone appreciating ur notes"
i can't get over how many exceptions al haitham makes for kaveh. he's not heartless and cruel in the way i often see him portrayed... but at the same time his entire demeanor is "i respect you as a person but won't go out of my way to do things for you unless it benefits me"
like he's one of the only characters who isn't super super close with the traveler, at least that's how i see it in the voicelines! he respects them as a friend, would consider doing things for them if they asked, but that's about it really!
but KAVEH. for someone who enjoys a peaceful life and has such a rational and efficient way of working it theoretically makes no sense for him to do all the things he does for kaveh.
like sure "maybe the cheering up kaveh is just to avoid having to deal with him drunk later", but that's too roundabout of a demeanor to be al haitham's style. plus, if he really didn't want to deal with a drunk kaveh, he could just kick him out.
but he doesn't because he cares, and kaveh does not understand that because he has created a vision of what he thinks al haitham is in his head, and in that vision he, kaveh, has no value so why would haitham have him around?? clearly he's got ulterior motives.
and they won't move further until kaveh lets go of that vision, and he can only do that if he truly realises his own worth, and until then haitham's gonna have to keep pushing him towards that from the shadows.
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"he overworks himself, it's not healthy. he forgets the practicality of his ideals when he starts something, thinking he can pull through it, but reality hits him halfway. he can keep his ideals, that's fine, but i wish he was a bit more realistic about them."
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"and despite all of the above, despite wanting to uphold his artistic integrity, he still puts everyone's needs before his own."
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"his approach is too contradictory, and hence people don't see his talent. there are those who's resolve is so brash they are seen as confident and unshakable; and yet he who is more talented than them all falls behind because he's so easy to take advantage of."
al haitham taught me two new words today lol
irascible - someone with a quick temper
paragon - something viewed as a standard
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"if he wants things to change he needs to find a balance between compromise and resolve. there is no way to please everyone, but instead of accepting this, he thinks he can nullify it if he takes all the burden instead."
kaveh's altruism stems from his own self-hatred, moreso than his desire to help others. and while doing a good deed puts a smile on his face, the melancholy guilt that trips him when he doesn't is far greater.
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"if they are his ideals then i have no right to say anything about them. but he hurts himself so much as a result of that and i wish he would love himself a bit more."
al haitham has a great deal of respect for kaveh, not just as a scholar but as a person. and it's hard watching someone like that dig their own grave, and there's nothing you can do but wait in the sidelines, because they won't believe anything you say.
al haitham is constantly bickering with kaveh to get him to feel a little, challenge his ideals, find a way to make them work without sacrificing himself in return.
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"at this poing talking to him is no use, he's convinced himself that his life only has purpose if it's in the hands of others. all people face hardships in life, but he seems to believe he deserves all he gets and more"
and then after kaveh is back he gives him space to talk about things that make him happy, and more importantly, appreciate himself.
how to tell kaveh i want to listen to his silly lil rants without sounding like a sap - al haitham's brain, probably
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al haitham knowing all of kaveh's little buttons, and pressing the right ones after determining his mood, so he can show kaveh he loves him but still sound like a bitch.
"you did so well. i am so proud, and i hope you are proud of yourself too."
and sometimes he does click the wrong one, but then immediately goes back on it, becomes soft(er than usual), offers reassurance, changes the topic, and so on
we saw this in the parade of providence event, when kaveh got legitimately upset at one of haitham's remarks and he immediately went into I HAVE UPSET MY BF recovery mode.
and what i love the most in all this is KAVEH'S DUMBASS IS SO OBLIVIOUS TO THIS LMAOOO
but also it's sad because the reason he's oblivious is because he doesn't think he's worth being cared for like that.
haikaveh's whole vibe is "i love you, but i'd much rather you love yourself first" and "i'm your one and only, your only exception, the one you'd break all your rules for" and i love it.
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eunkitarot · 2 months
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Enhypen Jay ideal type please
Hi sure lets see the cards i pulled are:
6 of cups: for Jay, he seeks someone that is comforting to him. Someone when he is together with them he feels healed. Someone that has a youthful energy to them. A carefree vibe. This person may have a warm smile. He likes people who are kind-hearted. Jay also likes people who are simple all around. Maybe in the way they wear or their routine is simple. He likes someone that is not so picky or complicated.
I think this make sense with my tarot read of him as bf where he is fast in resolving problems. He likes to deal with it and move on. So if his ideal type is complicated and very nitpicky its going to make it difficult for him. So someone that is simple and understanding is what he likes.
The hanged man: i feel like his ideal type might be someone that is in the creative aspect when it comes to career. Anything that involves art ,design or crativity. With this card , Jay may find someone that is willing to stand apart from a crowd attractive. Maybe because not everyone have the courage to defy social norms. So when someone dares to stand out it shows bravery and having a backbone even when their own views can be unorthodox /unconventional.
Judgement: so again with this card , similar to the hanged man, Jay finds people who stand out attractive. Someone that is the catalyst for change in society. Their actions may impact people in a good way and inspire others to confront truths they may have ignored. For eg someone like Greta Thunberg or Malala Yousefzai. Someone that is brave to voice out and take actions so that other people will follow suit and not be a blind sheep.
Tbh im kinda shooketh that these eg are coming out but ofc this is jay, he is someone that is knowlegable and have this kinds of facts on his fingertips. While channeling his ideal type, a lot of fun facts kinda pop up in my head so yeah...
Eight of pentacles: Jay finds people with great work ethics attractive. Someone that is educated and have skills that they master in their craft. He likes when his partner is absorbed in their work and focused. Someone who commits wholeheartedly to their endeavors, constantly seeking to improve and perfect their skills is very admirable for Jay. So his Ideal type is someone that is a professional in their field of interest. I am getting like scientist or reaearchers could also be his type of people.
9 of swords: with this card his ideal type may be someone that works in high-pressure environments or deals with crisis management. Where stress and worry are prevalent. Their job may demand constant vigilance and problem-solving, which contributes to their state of mental overload. A profession where the stakes are high and the pressure is constant. So if his ideal type is someone that is about to change the world, obviously its going to be heavy on their shoulders.
So overall, he likes someone that is career oriented. And if that career influences people and able to change others lives for the better , thats is even more admirable to him. He feels that if everyone is a blind follower, the world could be a disaster. So once in a while humans should take control of their lives and find ways to make the earth a better place.
Help the ending is just taking me out. But honestly i understand what he meant.
Anyways i hope yall love this reading and dont forget to like💗
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davekat-sucks · 1 month
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i want that anon to think about it this way: can you actually name five good non-forced canon heterosexual romances off the top of your head?
because i cant, and thats the problem, its forced *writing*. how can you expect people to write something theyve never lived through (assuming the writer is like hussie for example) when nobody seems to know how to write a story first and opts for masturbatory self insertion instead?
look at samurai jack, genndy is very creative and has great ideas, but that got ruined the moment he decided jack just NEEDED to have a love interest based on his real life dream girl. the results? a rehash of ttgl ending, but shittier.
or my life as a teenage robot, did you know jenny was supposed to end up with sheldon? her stalker who feitshized she was a robot? because the creator related way too much to him?
hell, not only western shows, remember how sasuke ended up with sakura despite never giving a shit about her the entire show and abusing her? or naruto with hinata? kishimoto said he was like naruto and his wife was like sakura multiple times, how do you think she felt when he tried to justify these endgame pairings saying hinata was his ideal woman?
its shit like that. as for me, this is my personal opinion, but why i would i want someone feel forced to give me "representation" when theyve never met someone like me and all i end up with is an offensive caricature? look at hsbc for forced cynical representation, was rosemary worth it when they are reduced to ntr fuel and character assassination? or davekat for the very same? what about johnroxy, dont you think that was forced as well? trans roxy so that now roxy can end up with dirk? isnt that forced?
i dont watch a story for representation or validation, i watch a story for entertainment, and i dont want writers to feel pressured or restricted to just tell their story at the detriment of their original ideas and setting. if i want to see something hyper specific to something i saw, then i do it myself, i dont need anybodys crumbs or disingenuous hand me dows because they see me as a checklist to get money. i want sincerity and effort. writers arent gods that need to acknowledge i exist, they are voices that tell a story, dont depend on them or put them on a pedestal, you or anybody else can become that too. tell your story because are passionate about it, and that way itll never be forced. thats just the way i see it.
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True and wise words, Anon.
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baalzebufo · 1 year
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two years ago I tossed my designs for some fan cogs, the adbot department, onto tumblr. well its been a while and ive gotten back into toontown again, so! it was about time I gave them a fresh coat of paint and a few new faces. please zoom in/open in new tab for detail!
the adbots deal primarily in broadcasting and propaganda. they aim to reach toons through their tvs and radios, either convincing them to buy their products or their ideals, or skipping that in favor of straight-up brainwashing. a quick tldr of each cog below the readmore, if you’re interested!
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sockpuppet - a bold new recycling technique using parts from cogs that were either faulty or too broken to put together properly was used to create these lackeys. they can only mimic other cogs voices and follow orders very well, but most cogs dont like working around them- likening them to zombies and being generally unsettled by their presence.
signal jammer - adbot tech support, these guys are tech-addicted and always grouchy. usually because they keep accidentally jamming their own phone signals! they tend to work as cameramen, engineers, really any behind the scenes help an adbot would need.
viral marketer - working alongside signal jammers, these guys are ideas cogs and adept with technology themselves. small and numerous, none of the ideas they come up with are very good... but thats why they make so many of them. one of them is bound to have a profitable idea eventually!
wheeler dealer - these speedy cogs are door to door salesmen and expert at pestering toons until they just give up and take whatever theyre selling. they often run advertisements on cog radio signals and slip themselves into commercial breaks.
motor mouth - fast talking loudmouths, these cogs feature primarily in lengthy- and loud- infomercials. they have boistrous personalities and a smile that could sell sand to a beachgoer. however, they tend to get caught up in rambling unrelated to their actual sales pitch, seriously damaging their productivity.
string puller - these cogs tend to hide behind the scenes and help produce most of the adbot syndicated shows and advertisements. theyre sketchy talent scouts whose contracts always- always- have strings attached. often seen with a posse of sockpuppets, they love bossing them around.
talking head - they say each face has its own personality- but theyre all so boring, nobody can tell the difference. these cogs make watching paint dry seem interesting! their natural lack of charisma can be downright deadly to a toon if they spend too long listening to their droning.
crowd pleaser - uncharacteristically upbeat, these cogs seem fun until you learn that they work exclusively with talking heads. they charm toons into watching their shows before switching to their co-host, who can turn a toon sad before they can even change the channel! theres an insidious nature under that cheerful grin.
tv personality - these bots rarely leave the adbot studios, and thats a good thing- they’re highly dangerous! they seem to have technology similar to toon hypno goggles, and it works through a broadcast signal to boot. thankfully, their ego refuses to let them take parts in a show or commercial they feel is ‘below their level’- seriously reducing their screen time.
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if you read all this, hi! wow! hope you liked them! i’ve got plenty more lore about these guys and especially about their boss- the Executive Producer- but that’s stuff for another time and another post. hope you have a good day :D
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sailfish-serum · 6 months
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Genuinely asking for advice here, i'm having some serious gender problems in the house of congress,
So Ive been forming this ideal version of myself in my head for a long time n i'm fully aware im some sort of genderqueer but i gave up trying to handle it because it didnt matter what i tried to do it never really stuck to anyone around me that i was seriously wanting to be more masculine, they thought i was messing around so i tucked myself back in the closet but its driving me nuts being like this
Depicted here is this ideal
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I want to begin working on myself, i want to be a cool buff surfer vibed guy who wears cool pants and while still being soft just generally more muscular yknow? I wanna sound all rumbly and nice n stuff,,
My main dilemma. My partner is a cishet man and I'm scared he wont love me anymore. I opened up a little and he said he's fine with whatever i do because id still be me but he sounded so unsure about it and i just cant get what he said out of my head,,, he said if all i wanted was more hair and a deeper voice then he's sure he'd be fine,,, but i dont want it to end up like one of those stupid reddit things where a cishet person loses attraction to their partner as they transition and leaves them behind,,
I want to be comfortable with myself i want to feel secure but he's really the love of my life and i dont want to push him away over my own comfort, i fear im going to lose everyone around me if i really try and go ahead with this,,, should i? Or should i just wait it out and hope it goes away so i dont have to deal with it?
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mxrp-official-steve · 11 months
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Hi I am loathe to send anything complainty bc I'm sure you get it literally all the time. And I understand hex's situation is less than ideal rn so I'm definitely not saying like 'hey F y'all go faster'. I just want to express frustration in that we were told there's be frequency in updates on MXRP and its state. But there's been... Like... One. One update in 5 months (MAYBE 2) and they've both been about the logs or the original update we got 5 months ago.
Again I'm not demanding a rush, I understand the situation at present, but it's been really frustrating to just haaaave nothing. No idea where the mxrp code rests at current, no idea at all what's happening with it ever. Dreambubble isn't an option personally for my own reasons which is fine, but the lack of any communication for the past few months feels rough. Anyone who even asks what's up is just pointed at the FAQ which gives no more than it did 5 months ago.
I really am just hoping you can acknowledge this in some way, shape, or form, because it's not just me this comes from. It's a voice of many, I think I just am the first to crack and want to say something as directly as an anon message can be. Please again understand, I'm not demanding a rush or saying anything like that. Just frustrated with the sub-zero updates that we were promised.
Oh I have no doubt that this is the voice of many- the issue is I don't really have like... an update to give. And that's kind of kept my mouth shut these last few months.
The parp rebuild is a one-person show right now, just Hex making it in their increasingly sparse free time. The reason why things haven't been moving is because Hex has a really, really bad financial situation right now, and i refuse to pressure them to work on the site when it's leagues more important that they find stable work so they can feed themselves and have a roof over their head (i've even given them 100% of the patreon money a few times at this point, and likely will in the future).
I teased this in the server already, but this is part of why we're opening an MxRP merch store, and why we're probably gonna open it before the site is back up. It's also why, and you can nudge Hex, TT, and Kon about this if you dont believe me, I will receive not one cent of the profits until MxRP is back up and running, and my cut will be going to Hex. The more stable they are, the faster parp comes back up. Simple as.
As it stands, dev on newerparp has halted. I completely understand if this makes you unsubscribe from the patreon- I probably would too at this point. But I'm not going to pressure someone who's doing this basically for free (the most we ever made off the patreon, post-split, was like 70$ each) to prioritize MxRP over their own personal health and safety.
There's probably like, an alternate timeline where AWS wasn't nightmarishly expensive to host this rickety bridge on where she's still up on there, but "hey can we get this patreon to 700-ish bucks a month minimum like right now guys so I can put her back up on AWS in the meantime" is a genuinely insane thing for me to ask. That's ridiculous. But as it stands, there is no update.
I'm real sorry for the silence, y'all. You're right to be upset with me, I just didn't want the monthy news to be "No news, still down" like, several times in a row.
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Hi there! I just came across one of your comics dealing with your own self-image and T and I saw in the comments, one of your replies saying that you shouldn't have a singular self-image and that you should think about yourself the way you view others. I was just wondering if you could elaborate on the singular self-image idea more. I'm not trying to bait you or anything I'm just interested because I've been trying to make decisions about going on T and how I want to present myself and I didn't realize I could be thinking about it in unhealthy ways.
sure! so the big pitfall with any kind of appearance-altering procedure, especially one that takes place over such a long timeframe as HRT, is going into it with an image in your head of exactly what you'll look like by the end of it.
just like with teen puberty or aging, there is no real way of knowing precicely what you'll look like after a year, after 5 years, after 10 years on hrt. think back to being in highschool: for some people, puberty changed their whole body until they looked like totally new people. for others, it just slapped some boobs or a beard on them and called it a day. my puberty as a teen made my nose bigger! i dont know why! hrt can have similarly unexpected effects.
holding on to a detailed, idealised version of what you want to look like by the end of hrt is likely to set you up for disappointment when it gives you changes different to, or less extreme than, what you were hoping for. there are some things that are more guaranteed - like a deepening voice on T - but not everybody is going to come away with a full beard, or reduced cheek fat. there are cis men out there with round, smooth faces! hormones are unpredictable for everybody.
so, ive been trying to encourage myself to instead consider the possible changes in a vague, agglomerative way - for instance, there's a lower and upper limit to the quantity of facial hair i would consider ideal, but ive stopped picturing my future face with a highly specific hair distribution, because chances are im going to get something not quite like that, and i dont want to be bummed out about it, i want to be able to appreciate what i get when i get it.
as some people have pointed out, you can sort of predict what hrt will do to you by looking at the men and women you're closely related to and seeing if there seem to be genetic trends cropping up. chances are, hrt will do to you the same thing puberty did to your relatives. the men in either side of my family aren't tall, so im not expecting my bones to change much, but they do tend to have defined jawlines, so my hopes are high for facial fat redistribution - but again, that's only a chance, not a guarantee.
ultimately, deciding whether to go on hrt should be based on whether you want to move your appearance "in the direction of" the changes hrt can bring about - if you look at the list of changes and think "yeah i really want some or all of these, to varying degrees; and the ones i dont want, i wouldnt really mind that much", then hrt is probably a good idea.
but if youre thinking "i have an exact future body i want to achieve, and hrt could give me this body, but if it gives me a different body i will feel terrible", then either hrt isn't for you, or you need to step away and do some self-reflecting before commiting to the process.
this post is already super long but i will add one last bit of advice if you're still not sure: with some forms of hrt, you can deliberately choose a very low dose, so that changes come about much more slowly - making it much easier to notice if a change you don't like is happening, giving you the option to back out. in the early stages, many hrt effects are reversible, including fat redistrubution and hair loss. (note that voice deepening and new facial/body hair growth are not reversible, unless you undertake more surgery to reverse it.) (infertility is sometimes reversible but its complicated. if you plan on having kids do extra research specifically on that)
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vigilskeep · 1 year
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Hi, I'm sorry if this has already been asked, but I'm fascinated with your character Minerva and was wondering why she didn't betray Jowan to Irving?
ah good question thank u for it!!
minerva is a pragmatist about the circle. she's very aware that a certain number of mages die or are made tranquil and she's in the mindset, at that point in her life, where she's been taught to accept this as a necessary evil. which actually ends up meaning she knows more than anyone that if this is true irving will go ahead with it. she has a very realistic idea of who irving is and what he does. but it's been easier to conceptualise all those losses as um a statistic than it is to face the immediate threat to the person closest to her. especially when her way of dealing with it all has been to say that mages who die or are made tranquil didn't try hard enough, didn't study hard enough, didn't fight hard enough on their harrowings. she rationalises it that way because it means if she just tries hard enough and is polite and gifted and perfect as she always is then nothing's going to happen to her. but she knows how hard jowan tries. so it isn't right. it isn't fair!
the other thing is that in my canon, my amell, halliserre amell, was made tranquil a few months before dao starts. minerva had a bit of a fiery relationship with them (i'd like to summarise it as fierce academic rivals with benefits, jhghsfdgsk) and their tranquillity was a huge and sudden recent shock. that definitely affects minerva's decision-making here. though she tries to rationalise by blaming halliserre themself in that case (halliserre chose to submit to tranquillity rather than undergo the harrowing), she knows deep down there's more to it than that. it's a complicated and painful topic to come up again so soon, it makes her just that bit angrier with the templars and irving, and it makes the danger feel very real
but all of that is kind of blurring the main issue which is that jowan is like minerva's brother and she loves him. the above factors are kind of what allows her to actually do something about that, but the motivation is simply that she cares about jowan, he's her closest friend and the only person more important to her than irving, and she very much thinks it's her job to protect him. she's more skilled than he is, more socially capable than he is; it is and always has been her role to protect him from the templars, even if it that only meant helping him with his studies or calling in favours with senior enchanters. being able to do all that is what has made her feel comfortable with how much she's betrayed herself to be the ideal circle student in the first place. it proves keeping your head down to get influence works, that it's not just selfish, that in the long run it means mages are better off. so if she can't even protect him, then what's the point of it all? it's probably worth noting, too, that minerva's fatal flaw is arrogance: if she's always been able to look after jowan before, what's one more time?
i actually have this really fun um super rough dialogue snippet somewhere in my word doc from when she was little, um, talking to karl thekla actually. and she's being disapproving of anders while hes like benafflecksmoking.jpeg because that's the whole dynamic lmao. she's like, why would you spend time with someone like that, he's an escape artist, the templars hate him, he's not going to make it! (this last said in a kid's deadly serious tone where she expects it to be heard as a totally damning accusation.) and karl is like [in the voice of a very tired young academic] minerva what would you say if i told you, i don't know, your friend jowan wasnt going to make it. and she totally freaks out. shes like thats a lie, dont ever say that, hes trying with the spells, hes going to get it! she's only a kid she's nearly in tears over this immediately even though karl's the furthest thing from a threat and he barely meant anything by it. it's always been the one thing that makes her lose her head. she cares so much about keeping up this perfect image except this one thing, right, she's got this perceived weaker nobody mage trailing after her. she's supposed to be able to keep this one person safe and that will make it all worthwhile. and what she has to learn is that even for all her sacrifices and good behaviour, the circle simply does not care. there's nothing it won't take
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roseworth · 8 months
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hello it is the tangled fan back for more! I was thinking about how underrated cass and eugene's friendship is.
I think they understand each other more than they like to admit which is why they tend to butt heads. they both need to prove themselves at the castle and are very sure of themselves. I think eugene is annoying on purpose but he doesn't realize how much it actually hurts cass that he rose in importance so much compared to her stuck where she is. and cass doesn't understand how eugene has been living on the streets and this is really important for him. so they have to learn from each other, have to understand where the other person is coming from. and when things get dangerous, they do respect each other's strength and quick thinking and can work together.
I think part of why cass doesn't like eugene is because she was planning on catching flynn rider to prove to her dad that she's strong enough to fight. who better to catch than the man her dad hates the most, right? then his crimes get absolved and he's just hanging out in the castle and she resents him for taking her chance to prove herself. he got what she has been looking for her whole life. lots of potential character development with learning to let go of the past.
when cass betrays them there should've been some focus on how eugene is hurt because cass throws their progress back in his face. he wants to trust her but he just can't, he didn't grow up trusting people easily. he has to make an effort to forgive her, especially after seeing rapunzel so distraught and being mad on her behalf.
I think they shouldn't be 100% buddy-buddy like there should still be some rivalry and old grudges but hey that's life! also they're both dating rapunzel so they have to deal with each other or else the polycule falls apart
(sorry for the mini character study I just had to share this with someone who understands)
!!! ALL OF THIS!!!!! cass & eugene have such a fun dynamic since theyre both similar in personality but like exact opposite in everything else
like at first it makes soooo much sense that cass hates eugene bc not only is he annoying and will never go away. he also is there and sort of in charge of her (well. not necessarily "in charge" but hes the princess's boyfriend so he ends up getting some clout) just because he stumbled on what the entire kingdom had been looking for for 18 years, meanwhile she had been trying her whole life just to be taken seriously so obviously shes gonna be pissed off when he can come in and just do whatever he wants. not to mention he joined the guard just because he had nothing else to do even though cass had been trying to for years !!! and i looooooove your idea about her plan to catch flynn rider bc YES she would want that !!!!!!!!! she wants to do something to make her dad pay attention to her so catching the criminal is the best way to go. but then said criminal gets all his crimes pardoned and is also making her life a living hell just by existing. she should get to kill him
for eugene... i think he has less of a reason to dislike her other than that she was probably mean to him first and it just kinda kept spiraling (so funny. this is ideal) but also to him i feel like cass kinda represented everyone else in the kingdom in a way? like just because he brought rapunzel home hes not just suddenly Everyones Favorite Person so cass constantly being like "kys and leave my house" is sort of. voicing what everyone else is thinking.
and THEN theres the fact that their relationship goes from "bickering because they hate each other -> bickering like siblings -> uh oh now shes trying to kill them!" i just. ough. they liked each other and they were FRIENDS!! so it had to have been hard for him to see. all that. i dont think cass really thought about him at all bc she was focused on rapunzel BUT for eugene.... like you said he doesnt trust easily! so putting his trust in someone and having it broken HURTS. however. i honestly think that he would forgive her pretty easily afterwards. he loves giving people second chances given everything that happened to him so he would not have a problem forgiving her
actually side tangent there. sometimes i see people saying that its out of character for eugene to forgive cass in the finale but um. no. look at every single person hes friends with. i dont think hes drawing the line at cass's mommy issues. "but she tried to kill rapunzel!" ok?? so did varian but he and eugene still made an amber bazooka together after it happened. after she died saving the world i think he'd be fine with her
anyways all that to say. i agree! i love their friendship! i love them butting heads over the stupidest shit ever and i love both of them going out of their way to insult each other. sometimes i think about cass calling him "fitzherbjerk" and eugene seeing a dead snake fall out of the sky and going "friend of yours?" and. yeah. i just love them :')
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renegades-garbage · 1 year
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Finding The Truth
So i haven’t posted any content of my own on here in literally forever so sorry for that but here’s a fic. (:
This is basically what I think would have happened if nova found out the truth on her own before the end of supernova. I’ll prob do a part two of her actually telling them about everything but I didn’t want this to be too long.
i don’t think the anarchists actually cared this little about her in the story it’s just for the angst lol.
This is set in the beginning of supernova after max tells adrian that nighmare didnt try to kill him but before she goes to jail lol. Those two things overlap im pretty sure but we are going to pretend they dont.
Im also pretty sure she has danna trapped in a jar at this point but we can all overlook that for now.
Anyways, hope you enjoy, love you bye (:
Finding The Truth
When Nova arrived back at the house on Wallowridge after her less-than-relaxing day at HQ, all that awaited her were empty rooms and a note on the kitchen table. 
Visiting Ace,  be back soon 
-QB
Nova rolled her eyes at the little crown above the initials and the kiss mark left on the corner of the small piece of paper. As her eyes scanned the note a feeling of dread settled in her stomach. Nova hated when the anarchists visited Ace without her. She didn't like being gossiped about, especially to Ace, rather than being treated like a member of the group.
Knowing they should probably discuss plans going forward after her most recent mission, and needing the walk to clear her head she decided to go down to the catacombs and join the meeting.
Walking through a hallway full of rotting skeletons was never an enjoyable experience for Nova but she understood Ace's need for the dreary hiding place. Just as she was nearing the entrance to Ace’s dwelling she heard muffled voices through the curtains of bones.
“I didn’t save her for nothing Honey Harper!”
The angered voice belonged to Ace. Nova’s brow furrowed, not knowing who he was talking about. 
“I know Acey, and she’s been very valuable but I think it’s time we accept that she’s too far gone. She cares too much about the Everhart boy.” Honey's voice dripped with disgust at those words. “I’m starting to think you should have let her die with your traitorous brother.”
They were talking about her. Nova’s breathing quickened as she tried to stay quiet. Her mind raced as she tried to comprehend the words. 
“Well, we can’t just abandon her.” This voice was Leroy’s and somewhere in all the confusion, she was thankful for him.
Ace spoke again. “Well if she truly becomes a threat to us becoming the kings and queens of all of this I suppose we could…. get rid of her.” He sounded reluctant to say those words but not in the way Nova would have expected. No, he spoke more like that would be too much of a chore. Her stomach churned. Her mind reeled trying to make sense of everything.
“Right,” Leroy said, and Nova could practically hear the eye roll that accompanied his words. ”Just like you did with the rest of her family.”
Nova’s breath hitched as tears filled her eyes.
“Well it’s not exactly ideal,” Honey drawled “It would be a shame to lose our little nightmare, but it seems like she’s getting ready to switch sides…..”
“We could use her death to lure the boy right to us,” Ace suggested.
“Oh a big hero act, how romantic. Maybe he’ll even race in dawning his sentinel armor. Like a fairytale.” Honey said it all like a joke. She seemed delighted by the idea, like they were pawns in a game. Honey began to laugh even more. “And we can have Phobia push him off a building so he can die just like his mother trying to save the Artinos.”
Stumbling around in the darkness of the night, Nova felt like she couldn't breathe.Tears were streaming down her face. She had run up to the surface when she decided she couldn't listen anymore.
She needed to get out of there before the Anarchists ended their meeting, but she didn’t know where to go. She certainly couldn’t go back to the house on Wallowridge. Snippets of what she had heard were still swirling around her brain as she tried to steady her breathing and think straight.
I didn’t save her for nothing. Very valuable. Dawning his sentinel armor. Your traitorous brother. Just like you did with the rest of her family. His mother. Get rid of her. The Everhart boy.
Adrian. Nova thought back to the night of the gala. Holding Adrian as he cried. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and let herself be comforted by him, but she couldn’t go to him. Could she?
Of course not. She thought to herself, but the pain was becoming too overwhelming. Still not quite thinking straight, and knowing she had to get out of there as soon possible, she began to make her way to the Mayor’s mansion.
The walk to the Everhart residence was a blur, it was almost midnight and it had started to rain pretty heavily by the time Nova got there. Her tears had all but subsided on the walk over. 
As she went through the security system dread settled over her. She really shouldn't be here, it was so late, not to mention these people would probably gladly throw her in prison given the chance.
By the time Nova had come to her senses enough to realize she should absolutely turn around, she was standing on the porch watching as one of the huge doors swung open.
To her dismay, it was Simon who opened the door. He was dressed in a bathrobe and slippers looking like he had just tumbled out of bed.
“Nova it’s the middle of the night, what are you-” he cut himself short upon seeing that she had been sobbing and was soaking wet with rain. His brow furrowed with worry.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” no “Um is Adrian home.”
“Yeah, he is. I’ll go get him, I think he’s still awake.”
Just as Simon turned around to get his son, they heard a voice.
“Nova?” Adrian.
Nova’s whole body relaxed upon hearing his voice. Adrian was looking at her with so much worry she had to fight not to break into a sob, though she wasn’t very successful.
Simon seemed to take this as his cue to go. “I'll be in the kitchen,” he said, giving her one last sorrowful look before walking away.
“Nova,” Adrian said again coming towards her, and this time her knees buckled. Nova fell into Adrian’s embrace and sobbed.
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eunkitarot · 1 month
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Sakura's Ideal type,please? Thankyou 💖
Its about time i do Le sserafim😭😭. So this is the cards i pulled for Sakura's ideal type:
The lovers: this is someone committed. She seeks someone that is committed when it comes to a relationship. Someone like her bcs the lovers card is like yin and yang. A counterpart that is similar yet different. This person have engaging personality.Drawing people in. An attractive and charismatic type of person.They possess a deep capacity for love and empathy, often showing a strong understanding of others’ feelings and a desire to create meaningful relationships. Emotionally intelligent.
Strength: She likes someone that is caurageous. Sakura feels like people that is brave to voice out their inner thoughts admirable. Someone confident too is up her alley.This person is most likely composed and possesses inner strength, often demonstrating patience and empathy.This individual’s strength is not just physical; it is deeply rooted in their emotional and spiritual resilience.
8 of cups: someone that is contemplative and reflective. Sakura likes if someone is introspective. Where you look within youself and see what u can work on. Someone that is constantly trying to improve themselves and evolve into a better human over time. This person might feel dissatisfied with the superficial, yearning for something more profound and spiritually fulfilling.
Ace of Swords: a logical thinker. Someone that is head over heart.That means that this person is clear-minded and intellectually sharp.They are analytical, decisive, and values truth and clarity above emotional considerations. Sakura likes if someone that look at an issue on a rational standpoint. This person are often seen as rational and objective, prioritizing logic and reason in their decision-making processes. This individual’s approach to emotions is often characterized by a desire for honesty and straightforwardness, preferring clear communication over emotional ambiguity. I think this person applies this on important decisions only. This doesnt mean the person is cold hearted. Just when it comes to important choices, they dont use emotions.
Queen of cups: Despite it all, she wants someone that is kind and good natured. A calm person and receptive to emotions still.they still can be empathetic, nurturing, and possesses a deep understanding of emotions and relationships. Someone emotionally supportive, and often acts as a confidante or counselor. They have a remarkable ability to understand and empathize with others’ feelings, making them a trusted and valued companion.
Ok thats all, i hope you like my read 💗
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