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castle-dominion · 1 year

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c3x4 punked

I like a good bit of steampunk & judging from the episode thumbnail this is going to be great.

Do they have mounties in the usa? ew

smorelette sounds genuinely gross & I like weird food combinations...

Even on my first watch-through I noticed ashley was a girl’s unisex name

You should have heard the sound I made when I heard him say “chocolate mousse chimichanga”

Diva’s honour uwu He looks so sweet & angry MR: Maybe it’s a nice murder, darling; brighten your day

PARISH IS SO RIGHT, GET HER A TEA (my family also spent five minutes arguing about funnel cakes, elephant ears, beaver tails (which are crepes & crepes are not pancakes), bear paws, white claws, monster energy, & bear claws. gee ess double-yu is a lot longer to say than gunshot wound. I propose: wed. tee yu vee, wed, ex, wy, zed. Much faster to say & it rhymes with zed to make it not alone.

KR: Photo on the ID matches captain underpants here (Everyone looks at him) KR: Sorry, my nephew loves those books. half my classmates read them but I actually never did (& then an inconsistency in which direction Esposito is facing)

Girl she probably just wears regular women’s underwear. (Also castle I’m shocked. You strike me as a boxer-briefs kind of a guy.) She actually might wear boyshorts.

Lol it’s my little brother, no social skills, sweetheart, dork, math genius... Wow that was some loud knocking Ryan Oh He looks... concerned (& is wearing a nice outfit as usual) RC: Anyone good? KR: *points, gestures, & waves* eughhhhh?????

D’André: *looks at castle* RC: Hey... KB: If you’re so innocent Mr D’André, why did you resist arreest & try to put one of my detectives through a wall? (I’d love to see that scene) RC: *looks back to the glass as if he can see behind the mirror* KR: You know, the right turtleneck, & no-one’s even going to notice bro. JE: *slowly turns to him with a huge-ass neck brace on, the poor guy. It pushes up his ears & cheeks & he looks frickin m a d* KR: Maybe a scarf JE: >:| KR: *hits him playfully?* JE: Ow

I mean castle is a bit high strung but when this buff mountain of a man stands up & you know he already put one of either ryan or esposito through a wall, like, I can understand it. Poor esposito DX JE: I want this guy to fry, beckett! (whipsers) ow, (ryan looks at him in concern)

This is one sexy episode RC: time travelling killer! *goes to high-five lanie but she is already walking off* (Mandolin version of theme song starts playing)

“time ripple” no it does NOT sound dirty castle wtf I like how Ryan half humours castle KR: Can’t be a time traveling killer; bullet had 200 years of rust on it; if the killer had been a time travelwe, the bullet would have been brand new I like abe sanrich. Lol D’André the giant. I just listened to an audiobook on the making of the princess bride actually.

JE: So uh, is Di Andre our guy? (For someone who can say spanish words perfectly his other latin skills seem to be lacking) KB: I’m afraid not. JE: What? Why did he go all hulk hogan on me? RC: Well why did the scorpion sting the frog? It’s in his nature. (Ryan almost looks more upset than Esposito, but then again, esposito can’t really make all the facial expressions one usually would be able to.) RM: I’ll see he gets the max detective JE: Thank you captain RM: You know you can take a couple days if you’d like? Catch some movies. RC: Read Naked Heat. JE: No. JE: No need, sir. RM: *goes to pat him on the shoulder* JE, not much of a touchy feely guy in the first place & also in pain: *eyes* RM: *single soft pat* KB: *doesn’t laugh doesn’t laugh doesn’t laugh doesn’t laugh I swear she is not laughing* JE: -_-

RC: Maybe the killer came through the time ripple naked & needed the clothes KB: RC: Like in the terminator KB: Sadly I don’t have a better theory at this point (Castle & esposito feed birds) (even tho esposito usually hates castle’s theories)

KB: Go check [xyz] out KR: You got it *turns around quickly, bumping into esposito* JE: mhhh XP

Beckett is so important in Castle’s raising of a teenaged daughter

RC: You said something about a giant moth?

Ok so Murphy is at the finance firm

RM: Any luck? (USE CTRL F U IDIOT) JE: turns around slowly KR: Nah. So far I’ve seen a lot of cool old guns on these sites. (I love a good cool old gun) RM: (talks about the cool guy with the cool gun on the site) Check it out esposito JE: *groaning as he slowly turns around* RM: *trying not to laugh or feel bad for getting esposito to move* JE: Yeah that’s nice. See back then they were into the artistry of it all KR: Yeah theyre like little sculptures.. that can kill (he says with his cheek on his fist all cute-like) (huertas probably liked this episode, he’s into guns)

RM: If I had that kind of scratch around I’d be putting it somewhere safe, like me mattress.

Podofski sent an audio file? RC: You think he offered him a blindfold & a cigarette?

KB: & can anyone vouch for that? IP: Me RC: Myself & I got your back too?

sir ACD is the time traveler, castle!

Except don’t old guns have no rifling & won’t ballistics be unable to match the gun? RC: Somehow they never prefer to be arrested for murder

RC: This has got to be a joke. Goldstein drives a DeLorean (My mum used to work at the airport & one of her volunteers owned a delorean that he had modified to look like the time machine. It was p cool.)

I love Ryan & his sunglasses They r just talking about the car, it’s valid, it’s a cool car KR: I hope [there’s something in the car that will help us], that’s a lot of doors to knock on (touches hand to car & gets burned bc it is sunny & south?) WOW FIRST NAMES? OK THEN. KR, seeing a guy with a bloodstained shirt: Hey Javi! NGL I love lord henry! Haberdashery across the park! At least it makes Esposito smile Oh poor esposito KR, with lord henry in a hold: U alright bro? JE with his gun out: I’m fine. >:{

KB: Alright, thank you ryan. RC: How’s esposito? KB: At home resting Finally the man took some time off

Castle is so cool, knows the actual period of the clothing (tho I can’t verify that). He did not go quietly into the night, he fired back

It is going to be HARD to metal detect that entire park bro, even just the area you want to check good framing & camera fun RC, walking off: Let’s say *walks back & starts moving Ryan around* Let’s say that our killer was standing over here (ryan looks like he’s had his feathers ruffled) Castle counted a bit off or had longer/shorter strides but different people have different leg length RC: It wasn’t a game! *holds up finger gun* It was an old fashioned duel! KR: *holds up his own finger gun*

I thought that castle was going to practice lockpicking actually.

OH WOW OK THEN (& I was right about the unisex name) RC: Yess well me meeting ashley has smeared lip gloss all over your face (I don’t like the guns but when you go to meet a girl’s dad that’s the only time when a gun is acceptable.) (still not acceptable actually but you get the point.) Castle knows a cool trick there! Ashley: Yeah sure, if it’s ok with your gun-- dad Ash: I respect her, she is respectable, I respect you RC: I like him. He’s respectful. (Cuz u waved a gun at him lol. Heck yeah bro XD)

RC & me: well at least some guy in ballistics had fun firing em off

Interesting motion with the coffee there

RC: Maybe it was about a girl. In fact, alexis’s boyfriend (who has a girl’s name btw) thought I was going to shoot him last night. KB: *Eyebrows go up, smiles & kinda nods.* KR: Hey RC: Hey, how’s esposito? (Asks ryan this) KR: He’s sleeping in,, mostly because he can’t move. (His voice is more melodic here, a different cadence & pitch.) (& ryan knows that esposito is sleeping in & can’t move) (Like girl the writers knew what they were doing)

Hamlet much?

Danny is a stand-up guy & gave you a job, you’re doing better because of him... Just making a note on troy kendsworth or w/e his name was

& they got the address from him.

What a sexy doorknocker WHOA I LOVE THIS GUY Mum & my little bro just watched around the world in 80 days (I think two different versions too)! I love a good rock shanty, I love adults playing dress up, I love punk, I love simplicity, tbh I’m more into solarpunk & cottagepunk than steampunk, Riding the penny farthing right through the club I love it Love the hats, love the time machine Sheer supercoolness of futuristic design if things were steam powered, not fossil fuels b’y Poetry <3 KB: Excuse me Mr Peterson-- RC: Can I try that?

You know what it is SO valid to ignore death here. Sadness like that is for the real world, this place is an oasis away from all that. Kinda goth with the poetry & meaning even in death.

Hey at least we know he wasn’t dead yet within the time-of-death. 11-1 but he was alive past 11.

Oh those are some sexy guns Sure beckett smell it & know they’ve been fired. Who’s adam again? Adam murphy from the finance place? RC: I THINK HE’S GOING FOR THE TIME MACHINE (When did ryan & esposito get the address & called over for interviews?) KR: it’s just a bunch of interviews, idk why you didn’t take the whole day off. JE: Because I’m fine! KR, badge in hand: *goes to knock* *door opens before he can* (the two look at each other) (Adam Murphey runs smack into esposito. Ryan is still staring at the door in shock. He turns around when castle & beckett come out.) RC: Hey esposito! (esposito is groaning & whimpering from the pain of being slammed down onto concrete)

RC: So if you couldn’t kill each other then what was the point of the duel? Me: Duels are cool castle!

Me: Go test it out! RC: Only one way to find out *handshake meme* YAY THE SANDWICH ANTIQUE GUN GUY I like this song. Ew come on pig leave the guy alone Aiming better now & still runs away from the cop lol. Hey nice guy the pig got him a sandbag. Hey nice guy he’s actually interested now & got a stand. Hey it’s just like mythbusters, remove the human touch. I like the progressions of companionship with this rando.

Castle you’re so cool /gen

I love this family. & even kind of in my ears. I hugged my mom so much during this scene & alexis is so adorable & rick didn’t even say anything. Castle answering the door in his steampunk gear: Beckett! How do you know when you’re in love? Beckett, missing a single beat: All the songs make sense Castle fulfills our need to be an adult who acts like a child.

Making ryan just climb a tree XD “hey BECKETT” (I HAVE A PROBLEM) Poor guy shot a squirrel. Poor ryan has to pick up the squirrel. RC: Oh no they took his clothes too! KR: Could you..? CSU: awwwww :’( KR: Yeah I know I’m sorry

Castle: *gets caught in crime scene tape*

Who is using a magnifying glass? I thought beckett said it wasn’t a thing since sherlock holmes (like around the turn of the century, murdoch & sherlock time)

Castle: Volcano in centre of the earth: sneffles!

Sciency ballistics thing

Right as the church bells chimed midnight. we now have an exact time of death

tragic... but understandable

I always like seeing that cute cop, the short girl with the red hair.

RM: Speaking of tragedy, did you hear about detective esposito? Me: he’s not dead, but the poor man has definitely had more happen to him... KB: no, what about him? (concern from both kate & rick) RM: Oh... he.. *gestured behind them* (wheelchair squaking) KB: Oh! D: JE: *rolled in by Ryan with some big brace on him & a big ol spider contraption on his head* RC: God no. Dude, what happened? (Ryan looks as heartbroken as esposito) KB: Esposito,! JE: No, I don’t want to hear it. No I’m ok JE: BOOM! *Jumps up, throws off the brace right into castle’s face* JE: No I really am fine, bro; we got this stuff from storage. KR: You should have seen your faces! JE: Captain you really sold that. KR: “speaking of tragedy did you hear about detective esposito?” RM: Hey KR: Sir RC: That was good, *claps esposito on the shoulder* JE: Ow, I’m not really that fine. KR: Oh yeah let me just... sorry JE: neck brace please, neck brace. Just lock it down, lock it. KR: Yeah yeah

& then some rando comes in & calls them boys (even tho they call each other boys all the time Ryan: *narrows eyes at this guy* & beckett has her nice helmet bc like we said in a previous episode she rides a motorbike (ryan outfit 10/10)

AC: I want to go on a date tonight RC, strained: Of course, great, have a good time. AC: I mean with you dad. (I miss going on dates with my parents. Just the two of us instead of all my siblings & both my parents...) RC: Did gram put you up to this?

She may be ginger but she’s very strawberry blonde for a redhead

She gets better at lying tho, like in s5 when they have their episode 100.

#castle 3x4 #castle 3x4 spoilers #castle s3 spoilers #castle 3x4 quote #the steampunk episode

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hellothirteenhere · 3 years

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Jujutsu Kaisen x Harry Potter

I feel as though every fandom has that obligatory multichapter Harry Potter!AU. Of course, that’s not to say that our amazing writers hadn’t been writing fic within this universe. (For example, check out seadawnn’s ‘Conquest of Hearts’ - Wholesome™ Itafushi that makes me smile every time I read it.) But I’m interested in seeing how a full-blown Jujutsu Kaisen universe would be like in an alternate Harry Potter-setting. So! I’ve been thinking long and hard about how it would play out and here are my headcanons for our very own Golden Trio! Couldn’t quite place them definitively in their Hogwarts Houses, so I would love to hear your opinions on where each of them should go, as well as your own personal headcanons.

Yuuji Itadori | Gryffindor/Hufflepuff (5th Year)

Ok, so here's the thing: typical shonen protagonist conventions tells me to put Yuuji Itadori in Gryffindor. And it makes complete sense! We see that he's brave - fucking demon possesses you and all you say is "What are you doing with my body?"?. But he's also willing to admit when he gets scared, like when he first faced a Special Grade. GryffindorJock!Itadori who is the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team is a mental image I'm not willing to let go of anytime soon. However, Yuuji is also an incredibly kind individual who just wants to save other people. Hufflepuff!Yuuji is that guy who is popular with everyone at Hogwarts, he cooks meatballs in the kitchens at midnight as he talks to the house elves as though they were close friends, and he would definitely take a curse or two in order to save his friends if the situation calls for it.

Background

Yuuji grew up as a mostly normal kid. Sure, there had been strange (almost magical, somehow) instances here or there but he was an energetic enough child that it never really occurred to him to dwell on them for too long.

As long as he could remember, it was just him and his grandfather. Supposedly, Yuuji had an older brother. But for some reasons that his grandfather refuse to tell him; he had to go away when Yuuji had been very young. He doesn’t even remember what his older brother looked like. But then again, Yuuji can’t even remember what their parents had been like - so he doesn’t really feel as though there was anything lacking in his upbringing. After all, how can you miss something you never had?

On his eleventh birthday, his grandfather solemnly sits Yuuji down and tells him that he was a wizard. He was a “Pureblood” - and potentially very powerful - wizard. His grandfather had been born a squib but he had known enough to explain to Yuuji the basics of the world that his parents had once belonged to.

Imagine: “Yer a wizard, Yuuji.” “….Sweet.”

His grandfather then hands him two things:

First, a letter from some Hog-Wash-Hagwarts?? Warthog? School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that he was to attend. His parents had gone there as well to learn magic.

Second, a long, sturdy piece of polished wood. When grandfather had taken it out of its box, Yuuji had looked at the wand skeptically - almost a hundred percent sure that the entire thing was one huge joke. But his grandfather was no prankster, after all, because as soon as his fingertips touched its surface, he felt a warm glow rush into his fingertips.

According to his grandfather, the wand had been his mother’s, passed on to his grandfather for safekeeping after she had died all those years ago.

When asked about the whereabouts of his father’s wand, his grandfather’s face turned dark. It was with Yuuji’s older brother, he said. His older brother who had also been attending the same school that he would be.

Headcanons

Itadori is one of the best Defense Against the Dark Arts students of their year. He also gets great grades for Charms and, much to everyone’s surprise, Potions. A Chaotic Good™ through-and-through, Itadori tends to forget to follow the very strict instructions that Potions Master Kento Nanami wrote at the blackboard, and yet despite eyeballing the ingredients, his Potion turns out great every time. HOW? No one knows.

His dorm room is filled with Muggle posters - it just feels too weird to have a magical poster of a tall woman with a big ass greeting him every time he woke up or entered his dorm room. He learned the hard way that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing when Todo gifted him a moving poster of Jennifer Lawrence.

He tries his best to collect Chocolate Frog cards, bless his heart - but he always tend to lose them in the journey between Hogwarts and his home every summer. Little does he know that Kugisaki and Toge pilfer the ultra-rare ones that he somehow manages to pull in a semi-regular basis.

Megumi Fushiguro | Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw (5th Year)

Primarily, I want Ravenclaw!Megumi Fushiguro as an aesthetic. We already know that he likes to read non-fiction books in his spare time (babes, i love you but that is nerd behavior), and he's shown that he's very sharp and intuitive when it comes to battles. He is also very knowledgeable about the Jujutsu World. Also, pretty boy looks damn good in blue. I can just imagine Megumi as the quiet, brooding Ravenclaw who is somehow friends with every insane person in Hogwarts. However, Hufflepuff!Megumi embodies who he is as a character. He's loyal to his friends and family, selfless when it comes to protecting the others, and he's willing to work hard behind the scenes even if he doesn't get recognition for it. We also saw how Megumi was willing to be the sacrifice bunt if it meant that Kugisaki had the chance to move forward during the baseball scene.

Background

Megumi came from an aristocratic Pureblood family, the Ancient and Most Noble House of Zenin. An extremely powerful wizarding family rumored to be distant relatives of Salazar Slytherin himself. Only - his father Toji had been born a Squib who married his mother just to spite his conservative family. Much to his surprise, however, Megumi was born not only an incredibly talented wizard but also the first parseltongue of the Zenin family in years.

Professor Gojo - back when he was still an Auror and not the DADA instructor at Hogwarts - came to the Fushiguro family household after he had apprehended Fushiguro Toji or, as the wizarding world commonly knows him as: the Sorcerer Killer. Much to his surprise, he doesn't find Toji's wife nor his stepdaughter - instead, he finds tiny Megumi talking to his pet garden snake, Orochi. He ended up taking Megumi under his wing, letting him live at the Gojo family’s home and later taking him to Diagon Alley a week before he started in Hogwarts.

Gojo buying Megumi his pet owl, Nue.

No, YOU’RE crying.

Of course, the Zenin family kick up a fuss about custody. It's only Gojo's status as the strongest wizard alive - as well as his well-placed threat to make the knowledge that the notorious Sorcerer Killer had once been a Zenin known to the wizarding world - that keeps them quiet.

Headcanons

Megumi's best subject is Care of Magical Creatures - though he’s also great at Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. Students are, by school regulations, only really allowed one (1) pet (an owl/cat/toad). And legally, Megumi has his horned owl, Nue. It is, however, an open secret within the Hogwarts community that Megumi Fushiguro walks around the castle with his pet snake Orochi wrapped around his wrist under his cloak. No one questions that Megumi arrives at Hogsmeade, conveniently trailed by the same black and white dogs every weekend. His roommates learn to turn their heads the other way when the bunnies under Megumi’s bed escape their cage.

He used the expansion charm in order to house his ever-growing collection of pets. Imagine Newt Scamander’s suitcase but, instead of a large sprawling space, it’s a cozy room filled with books and pets and pet paraphernalia.

He’s not competitive enough to play Quidditch, but he attends every game to support his friends. He also attends their practices sometimes but just sits at the pitch to read his book, do homework, or take a nap.

Half-Veela!Megumi make brain go brrrrr

Kugisaki Nobara| Slytherin/Gryffindor (5th Year)

Out of everyone, I had the hardest time placing the Kugisaki. I feel as though Slytherin!Kugisaki is the girl who dropped everything in order to go live in the city - the girl who was willing to do anything, even join a career with a high possibility of dying, just to follow her dreams. She is unapologetic about being herself, highly resourceful, and is one luxurious queen. But Kugisaki is also incredibly brave - unafraid to stand up for the girl who was being ostracized by everyone in their part of the countryside. I implore you to imagine Gryffindor!Kugisaki pulling the Sword of Gryffindor out of the Sorting Hat in order to save other people.

Background

Kugisaki is a Muggleborn who used to live in the quiet countryside. She’s an incredibly talented witch who started showing signs of magic at an early age - something that had frightened her, especially because it was clear that it also frightened her parents. She tried to suppress her abilities, trying to fit into society for a while - that is, until a girl named Saori moved in from the city.

Saori had been a Pureblood witch who had grown up in the Wizarding World. She had been the first person told Kugisaki that her magic was a blessing instead of a freak of nature or something that she had to hide. Saori talked to Kugisaki about the wonders of their world that she would one day get to take part in. She told Kugisaki about Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, and all these wonderful places that she would get to go to.

However, because they were a Pureblood family, Saori and her family did not know how to integrate within the Muggle community. Not too long after their arrival, horrible rumors about their family started spreading - that they were cultists, satan worshippers, etc. Eventually, they decided to move away from the country. Before leaving, Saori made Kugisaki promise to find each other one day and to never turn back on who she truly is.

When Kugisaki first received her letter from Professor Shoko Ieiri who mysteriously appeared in their doorstop the night of her eleventh birthday, the professor explained to her parents about magic and the wizarding - only, Kugisaki was only half listening.

Unlike her parents, she wasn’t surprised one bit - it was only a matter of time, after all, and she was finally going to get to go to Hogwarts. Surely, Saori had already graduated by the time she entered but it was definitely one step closer to finding her childhood friend.

Headcanons

Kugisaki has pretty good grades all around - but she is definitely known as the best in their year at Charms. She also has great grades at Defense Against the Dark Arts. She and Yuuji definitely almost failed History of Magic, though. They have too much energy to just sit quietly and take notes in class - especially one taught by a ghost.

Every store owner in Hogsmeade knows Kugisaki by name - and by extention, they know Yuuji and Megumi too. She has long since mastered the art of dragging her friends all around the shops and still not paying a single Knut by the end of their Hogsmeade visit. At the end of every visit, Yuuji and Megumi swears that it would be the last time and yet, every visit, she still manages to wrangle both of them into coming with her

In Potions, Kugisaki is a force to be reckoned with. Her cauldron always appeared to be on the verge of exploding and yet, somehow, a supernatural force (or by the sheer strength of her own willpower) seem to keep her from completely fucking up every time.

BeaterNobaraBeaterNobaraBeaterNobaraBeaterNobara

COMING UP

Slytherin!Sukuna Ryoumen

Ex-Auror-turned-DADA-Professor!Gojo

Potions-Master-not-Professor!Nanami

Slytherin!Maki Zenin

Ravenclaw!Inumaki Toge

Hufflepuff!Panda

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dumbdotcomm · 4 years

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a little luck and some frogs

(a/n) the iconic @pricklydapper drew this amazing piece for me of Mikey and Raph and I just had to write a angst/fluff one-shot for it!!!

There’s a still and a quiet that comes with rain, gentle and slow and lulling. They haven’t had quiet in so long, it seems; it feels like days blend into one another, new paths unlocked in their destinies or whatever.

Sometimes Raph would just like to stop. Go back to being that 15 year old kid living below Queens, having nothing but his tight knit family and a lair game tournament to worry about.

They’ve been firing on all cylinders for days, and god he’s just tired, overstimulated and definitely in need of, like, a detox or something- Leo and April go on about those kinds of things. Maybe he’ll give that a try.

But even as the days pass, long long after they’ve settled back into home and dealing with low-level crime, Raph still can’t really relax. Not in the way that lasts. He’s always looking, anticipating the moment their relative peace will elude them, and the next thing he’ll know is they’ll be miles high, falling from a building, pushing and pushing to catch one another- or at the docks watching his brother get torn apart.

Raph feels like he’s gonna hurl and he does, nothing but last night’s dinner and severe anxiety spilling out from him.

It’s gross and embarrassing and Raph knows it’s nothing he can control; the little helpful part of his brain is reassuring that way. But it was easier to feel so panicky when everyone else was still reeling from the fight.

Leo’s got his detoxing with April, Mikey’s gone off and found Draxum to rehabilitate for god knows what reason, and Donnie’s regulated his sleeping cycle again and he’s gone back to shittalking and watching gophers on Youtube so- he’s okay.

Everyone’s okay…. except for Raph.

But maybe what Raph doesn’t know is that the somewhat okay thing about it, the silver-ish lining in all of it is- even if he’s feeling alone… he’s not. He never is. And Raph has always hated his panic-stink but maybe it’s doing him some good, because he brothers are attentive, and Mikey’s especially perceptive.

It’s why, on this languid, rainy ass day, Mikey barges into Raph’s room with a shopping bag from Old Navy. How he got to, and inside, and outside of Old Navy, Raph doesn’t really have to wonder (humans were so funny in ignoring obvious things, it made raph wonder why mutants stayed hidden anyway).

But Mikey’s got a grin that stretches a mile wide and is pretty contagious, as he struts into the room after having stood in the entrance in that weird ‘younger sibling is now here to bother you’ stance.

“Whaaat are we doing…?” Raph asks cautiously, but can’t hide his own growing smile the longer Mikey beams.

He says ‘we’ because there’s always a ‘we’ in these types of situations, and he’d rather just include himself now off the bat.

“Glad’ja asked,” Mikey says, and dumps the Old Navy bag out of Raph’s bed, “Behold….the best freakin’ things ever.”

And woah- they kinda are the best freaking things ever. Practically see-through jackets with-

“No way! Mikey!” Raph clutches his- he already knows it’s his by the size, extra huge and all, “Bro this-? Is pretty sick. How’d you even get it this big?!”

The thing about them and clothes is: Leo, Donnie and Mikey are all, at least, human people sizes. It’s easy for them to snag just about anything, even some of April’s old stuff fits them. Hell, Leo could fit into Dad’s old suit. And that luxury was kinda foreign to Raph.

Humans barely even made enough fashionable clothes for all of their people- and Raph was kind of outside of that caliber.

He’s kinda getting teary eyed, but, like, who wouldn’t, and Mikey’s already slipping into his own coat, see-through and speckled with little oranges.

“Eh, it’s no biggie,” he sniffs, shrugging the jacket on the rest of the way (it’s totally a biggie), “I kinda...customized ‘em. They were havin’ this special, and I thought ‘screw it baby, we need raincoats’!”

And, careful of his strength, Raph goes for a hug that he knows Mikey was anticipating anyway, with the force that he hugs back and all. Raph doesn’t really need to say anything, but his warbly thank you to Mikey is just a fraction of the depth of emotion he feels now.

It’s funny, silly maybe, because this doesn’t erase the threat of a bigger fight, a worse enemy lurking in the shadows to trip them up- it’s just a custom made see-through raincoat with Raph’s favorite fruit, adorable little strawberries, on it.

And yet he feels indescribably lighter than he’s felt in weeks.

“I figured we could do some adventuring, and I gotta cooks tonight so…”

Mikey wriggles his brow ridge, and Raph can’t help but, like, wanna combust from this surge of excitement and normalcy that he hasn’t felt in too long.

“Trip to Katagiri, hell yes!”

/////

The nice thing about rain in the city is, even though traffic is all the same, and people are still moving around, the sky gets dark enough from the clouds that the lights kinda shine prematurely. The streetlamps come on with a dim, orangey light, and with the autumn leaves mixed with green ones still clinging on, it was just so peaceful.

No one, again, seems to care that two turtles are walking down Lexington, and one couple briskly compliments their jackets and so that’s a plus.

Mikey compliments the one girl’s hair, shaved with hearts dyed into her scalp, and Raph can only appreciate that his brother is so well-spoken- that he just is so natural and confident out here.

That he doesn’t worry.

Raph remembers his first time topside, and how his fear led him into the state of consciousness that he hates to be in- where he’s on all instinct and fear and nothing else.

It’s gotten better since then, but the unease still lingers all these years. Raph wonders if he’ll get rid of it all the way.

Donnie realistically told him he might not, but that all he has to do is count to ten and back again, look around, find something to focus on- something ordinary or something great, and cling to it till he can convince his body and mind that he’s safe- that things will return to normal in a sec.

And right now, Raph keeps his eyes locked on his brother’s feet, as they pound the sidewalk, making little splashes in rain water.

As he’s watching, a frog of all things, just hops along the sidewalk, right at Raph’s feet. It makes him halt, because....maybe it’s coincidental or maybe Raph’s reading too into it, but Mikey turns around too, sees the frog that Raph stoops beside, and smiles in soft understanding.

It’s an omen of some sorts, Dad always said so. Of good luck, and of things returning.

Raph breathes out a laugh, shaking his head.

Just as quickly as the frog comes, it hops away, and Raph stands, still a bit speechless, still kinda processing the meaning behind what just happened, desperately wanting to cling to it meaning good fortune.

He doesn’t wanna worry his brother though, and so he thinks of something to joke or talk about as they start to walk again, only for Mikey to beat him to it.

“I never told you thanks,” he says, gently, like he’s been reading Raph’s aura. Maybe he has.

And somehow Raph already knows what he’s thanking him for, but decides within himself that Mikey really, really shouldn’t. He was just doing his job. He tells Mikey this breezily, with a soft smile.

“Bullshit,” Mikey snaps back, but only because he knows Raphael so well, “We’re kids- we don’t got jobs- except for Donnie occasionally….suspiciously-” he shakes off the trailing thought, “Anyway- it’s not ‘your job’. It was just a shitty...long fight and ya really held us down, Raph.”

They cross the street, momentarily separating with the influx of people but find their way back in a second, the neon ‘Gonbei’ sign now visible to them.

And it’s not that Raph is all that surprised by Mikey. He knows his brother’s always had a knack for speaking in a way that just...made so much sense and was so profound without any complexity. But maybe it’s his brother being 14 now, that makes him even wiser.

“I know we don’t got jobs,” Raph concedes, as they pass the Lexington Flowers shop, “But, you know, I’m big...bigger than you guys, an’ I might not be as smart but when it comes to protecting, an’ planning….it’s what a leader’s s’posed ta do, y’know?”

They don’t often talk about the leadership thing- not that it’s touchy, it’s just not really relevant with how they function. But Mikey knows Raph’s internalized the role a bit more recently. And that Leo getting dropped from a building may have been the catalyst.

He knows his brother’s technically got a job to do. Mikey resents that, and their Dad a little bit, for not making Raph ready for all of what happened weeks ago.

Though he knows that’s not all fair. His father was only protecting them.

Still….it sucks.

“Well, if it means anything, I think you’re smart. And ‘m not sure if I can promise this, but I’m gonna do it anyway...” Mikey says, stopping in his tracks and turning to Raph, who also stops walking and gets called a ‘fuckin asshat’ for blocking a chunk of the sidewalk but- hey.

Mikey politely tells the guy to go fuck himself and when the guy turns to get a good enough look- not at Raph’s size, but at his little gremlin brother with a chain that’s starting to flame up- he decides this whole situation is not something he wants any parts of.

Mikey rolls his eyes and turns back to Raph, face all sincere and kind for someone who just...did that, “I promise we’re okay, and we’re always gonna be stuck together, Raph. I know that won’t magically make you feel better but...just thought I’d say it.”

And Raph tries to say something, but has to clear his throat, and it’s definitely the rain on his cheeks and beak.

“No,” he croaks, and laughs at his voice, happy that Mikey laughs too, “Nah, it- it really helps a lot Mikey….thank you- thanks, man.”

Satisfied, Mikey turns to keep on walking, patting Raph’s shell, “Anytime bud.”

////

Katagiri’s never disappoints. Mikey leaves with milk tea, shrimp tempura and shiso, more milk tea and a couple boxes of mochi ice. It’s one of those days.

He swings his groceries as they walk.

Raph doesn’t wonder about the frog and its meaning, and doesn’t doubt its luck and why it appeared to him.

He’s kinda figured it out. Because he still has moments like this, watching his brother merrily skip a few steps ahead of him, chatting breezily about pineapple upside down pancakes- and Mikey made a promise, after all, that they’re gonna be together, no matter what.

If that’s not lucky, being with his family, leaning on them when it counts, then Raph’s got no clue what is.

#rise of the tmnt #michelangelo #raphael #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph

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sincerlypadfoot · 4 years

Text

The Heart And The Head

Word Count - 2056

“You know any witch or wizard would be so happy to being going through the platform, what's wrong my darling?” Mr. Coyota, my dad said, bending down so we were face to face.

“I don’t wanna leave you and uncle,” I swallowed, looking up at my uncle who stood behind my dad, with a sliy smile on his face, he bend down and gently put his hand on his cheek.

“Mia, you’re are going to be the brightest Ravenclaw out there, the smartest, most bravest and hopefully the best prankster,” Elijah, my uncle said with a smile, getting a little kick in the leg from my dad. We had the same eyes, golden yellow with green, it ran in the family with my dad too.

“I know, but,” I started to say but the clock run behind us. “It’s time to go,” I mumbled looking up at the clock, five to eleven.

“Come on now, your dad will take your trolly, take my hand, we can do it together,” Elijah said interlocking our hands. “Now,” He started running, I followed along, we both ran together through the wall and stood infornt of a train.

“Your cousin Remus should be on board now, I talked to his parents and they should have told him to accompany you through your first year, since your both the same age now,” My dad said standing behind the both of us.

“I’ll miss you both,” I said wrapping my tiny hands around the both of them as much as I could. “See you winter break?” I questioned.

“We will be here to pick you up, go on now, your gonna miss the train,” My dad said handing me my trolly.

“I love you,” I shouted to the both of them before getting on the train, I stood at the steps for a moment looking at the both of them then took off.

Third and Fourth years roamed the train, taking ever carriage for themselves and saving some for others, some first years were running in and out of carriages, screaming and laughing, never was this something I would do at home.

“I haven't seen you in what, a year and you’ve changed your hair to brown?” I heard behind me, hearing the voice of my third favorite person in the word.

“Remus, I feared that I was gonna be to weird for you,” I said sarcastically turning around, he wasn't alone. A boy with neat but messy almost black hair stood on the right of him and another with longer brown hair stood on the other side. “Mia Coyota,” I introduced putting my hand out for the both of them.

“James Potter, and this is Sirius Black,” The boy with neat messy hair said, I had shaken both of their hands with a smile.

“Come on now, we have a carriage just down here,” Remus said turning on his heels and walking down the hallway that I had just walked down. I small strand of pink hair brushed down my face, turning slowly back to brown.

“This is Peter,” Remus introduced as we got to our seat, Peter meet Mia, my cousin,” Remus said with a smile. We sat down in the carriage, Peter, James and Sirius all fighting for space as Remus and I watched.

“Can we talk later, just you and I?” I asked him before the three boys could pay attention. “You know our secret thing,” I whispered looking up at my hair.

“Yeah, once we get to hogwarts, I was gonna ask you the same,” He said just in time as the three boys who sat infront of us got comfortable.

“So Mia, your Remus’ cousin now? Whats all this secrets?” James asked making Peter kick his foot. I looked at Remus with a smile.

“You know James, we only just met and you're already look for secret, what a fun seven years,” Remus joked making Sirius chuckle.

The five of us talked away, telling each other about ourselves. Peters biggest fear was four walls closing in, Sirius was a huge flirt, which was annoying, and James had the perfect family, a mother and father.

“We should change into our robes, we’re close, I can see some lights,” Remus said pointing out the window, all four of the boys stuck there faces to the window to look at the lights Remus was pointing at.

“See you guys at hogwarts then,” I said to the four, grabbing my robe that laid beside me and walked out wandering around to the bathroom. “Excuse me,” I said to a blonde girl dressed in her robe with her back to me.

“Dear goodness you scared me, I was just about to get the last chocolate frog,” A blonde headed girl said turning around with her hand on her heart. “Hey your a first year too, i’m Marlene,” She said sticking out her hand.

“Mia Coyota,” I said with a smile shaking her hand back. “I could help you,” I said to her looking at the tiny whole she tried sticking her hand in. My hand extended and became skinny, fitting in the whole her hand was trying to get in, the chocolate frog slide right into my hand, forming with it.

“Your a metamorphmagus?!” She said with a smile on her face as I handed her a chocolate frog, watching my hand go back to normal.

“It’s a secret,” I said taking a licorish from the cart that stood beside us. “Do you know where the bathroom is, so I could change?” I asked Marlene as she munched on the chocolate frog.

“Yeah come on,” She said pointing down a couple carts. “You are so cool,” She said as she finished her frog. “I wish I was like that, I could be the prettiest girl in the world,” She gushed pointing to a door. “Just in there, i’ll wait here,” Marlene said leaning on a wall opposite of the bathroom door.

“Thanks,” I said with a smile, knocking on the large door before entering. The first thing I did was look in the mirror that stood infront. A low brown color started turning a bright blue, then to a green, then orange and faded back to brown. I tossed my robe on, looking away from the mirror.

“Hey, so I have tons of questions for you,” Marlene said as I swung the door open. “If you don’t mind, it’s just I never have met someone like you and I think it’s so cool,” She said with a big smile on her face, Remus was the same way, but a little less gritty.

“Shoot whatever you wanna know i’ll tell you,” I said to Marlene, she walked beside me, guiding her back to my carriage.

“Can you turn into a animal?” She said first., I nodded my head. “Any animal?” She added, I nodded again. “Who all knows?” She asked looking at me.

“My dad, uncle, cousin Remus and now you,” I answered making her face light up. “But I don’t want people to know please, so if you could keep it a secret I would really like it,” I confessed to her.

“Not a soul will know about this,” She said opening the carriage door filled with the group of boys, and Remus and arguing with one another.

“This is Marlene, I introduced, all the boys stopped arguing and looked over. “She’s gonna sit with us,” I announced taking my seat next to Remus, leaving enough room for Marlene. A little less then a hour passed our train pulled up to the station.

“Gryffindor common room, here I come,” James said darting out of the train first, slowly followed my Remus, Sirius, Peter then Marlene and I.

“What house are you aiming for?” Marlene asked jumping off the train stepped and onto the platform. “I think I want Gryffindor, I heard if your on their quidditch team they’re parties are sick,” She said making me laugh.

“My dad and uncle are ravenclaw so I think they want me to follow them, so I’d like Ravenclaw to make them happy,” I started to say but got interrupted.

“Firs’ years over here, come on now, into the boats,” A tall hairy man shouted at the group of first years who all looked lost. “Don’t fall into the water now, gonna be a nasty mess to clean up,” He said making some of the first years look at each other in fear.

“Come on Mia, don’t fall in the water,” Marlene joked taking my hand and helping me into the boat. I sat down to see a short pixie hair girl with a red head standing beside her, they both looked nervous and lost.

“Oi, come to our boat,” I shouted at the two grabbing their attention quickly, the both looked over to each other and sat with Marlene and I.

“I’m Alice,” The pixie haired girl said with a smile, she seemed nervous, tapping her foot at the bottom of the boat as they started to row by themselves.

“Lily Evans,” The redhead said with confidence, I saw you on the train, talking with James and Sirius, those too are nothing but trouble,” She muttered looking over at the four boys, Sirius and Peter rocking the boat making James laugh and Remus look over the edge trying to see the water.

“The one with the scars on his face is my cousin Remus, he’s quiet and shy but could be one of the funniest people I know,” I chuckled looking at the silly boys a couple boats down.

“Look, hogwarts,” James screamed causing everyone in their boats to turn around to a castle filled with lights, people coming in and out and towers all over.

“Definitely going to get lost in there,” I whispered making the three girls laugh. “My names Mia Coyota, this is Marlene,” I interested turning my vision away from the castle and too the two girls who sat with us. “Which house are you two hoping for?” I asked

“Gryffindor, I hope we all get gryffindor cause that mean we could all share a room,” Alice said with confidence, I looked at Marlene with a smile, knowing that I was going to be in Ravenclaw, bursting her bubble, but I let her keep it for a bit.

We all made our way inside, awaiting for Professor McGonagall to call out our names, Lily was picking at her fingernails, now standing beside a long black haired boy.

“Marlene Mckinnon,” McGonagall called first, making me look over at her standing beside me, practically leaning on me.

“Good luck,” I whispered to her, she smiled at me a bit then walked up with as much confidence as she could build up, sitting her ass on the chair and giving me a thumbs up, shortly after she sat down and the hat was placed on her head the decision was made.

“GRYFFINDOR!” The hat shouted causing a uproar from the gryffindor table. James, Peter, Remus, Sirius, Alice and Lily all got called into Gryffindor too, it was me and a boy clint left.

“Mia Coyota,” McGonagall called, I took a quick breath and looked at the boy who stood beside me, he gave me a quick node and I walked up to the chair.

“Please Ravenclaw,” I whispered hearing some of the girls on the train talk about the hat and that it listens to your request. “Please put me in ravenclaw,” I whispered again.

“Gryffindor,” The hat said with a chuckle catching me off guard, my eyes went from the people at the Ravenclaw table to over at the Gryffindor table where Remus and Marlene were waving me down like a airplane.

“Gryffindor?” I questioned looking up at the hat. “I think the hat got it wrong,” I said looking at the professor who stood beside me.

“The hat is never wrong, now move along please,” McGonagall said taking the hat off my head. I got up from the chair, taking one look at the hat then at the Ravenclaw table then back at the Gryffindor.

“Seems like someone else got in a house they don’t want,” Marlene whispered in my ear looking over at Sirius Black whos head was faced down on the table, James, Remus and Peter all comforting him.

#Siriusblack #Sirius Black #peter pettigrew #peterpettigrew #JamesPotter #James Potter #Remus Lupin #RemusLupin #marauders fanfiction #the marauders #hp marauders #Maraudersera #young marauders #marauders x reader #marauders map #marauders aesthetic #marauders era #marauders rp

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trying-write-fanfics · 4 years

Text

Shouji MezoX Reader part 3, Remember

Sorry there hasn’t even been Shoji yet. He’s coming I swear!!

“You have like a million students! What if I don’t know all there names! I haven’t even done anything! I’ll look lazy! Aren’t you injured?”

“I thought you’d sass me in front of my classroom.”

“That’s a guarantee later when I’m not worried about being lazy!”

“Why don’t you go get some lunch.”

“What I’m not gonna get escorted there-“

“I doubt you’ll try to escape.”

“I’ve never been here! I don’t know where places are!”

Aizawa stuck his head out of the classroom and called a student over. He had green hair and freckles. Sorta plain, sorta short, but tone. He was talking to him, but she wasn’t listening.

“This is Midoriya, he'll take you around.”

“I’m not gonna remember that!” Her mask was down. “What’s your quirk broccoli?”

“It’s uh-“

“Like a super strength one.” Aizawa said.

“So you’re not a veggie, you're a beefcake.”

“I’m uh what?”

“I’m bad with names, let’s make you memorable.” She told him.

“Just show her to the cafeteria.” Aizawa said.

Y/n being taller than Izuku she towered him (if you’re it you’re in heels) . She put the teaching aid face back on, all responsible and doesn’t say random things.

“So you want to be a teacher?” Izuku tried asking.

There was something familiar about the woman. She was dressed like she was from a big city, and seemed so tall.

“I guess.” The mask was back on. Like hell she knew what to do. The future was hard to think about, and now she has to pretend she’s working towards one she doesn't know enough about.

“Ah…” Izuku didn’t know what else to say to her.

“Is there any drama I should know about? Who hates who, who likes who, whose weird.” Y/n asked.

“What!” A real surprise question.

“I’m at a disadvantage coming so late in the game, but with how everything worked out I’m here now. What if I set up two people non compatible. Do you have a good way of remembering your peers names, beefcake?”

“I uh, it took a minute but I got there with their names. Why am I beefcake?”

“You’re buff, buffer than the average high school boy. I guess that would be expected though with your quirk.” She explained

She was not surrounded by people who wanted to be heroes.

“Ah...is that a good thing?”

“Yeah, I wish I had your forearms.”

“You never told the class your quirk, may I ask what it is?” Midoriya asked

“I’m keeping it a secret. Aizawa may ask me to help with your guys' training. Important for you guys to go up against someone you can’t predict.”

“Good point. You have combat skills?”

“In a way.” She shimmied her shoulders. “At least tell me the class clown, if I need a laugh.”

“Maybe...Kaminari…”

“Description, description!” She gestured her hands that she needed more than what he was telling her

“Oh he’s blond with an electricity quirk.”

“Can he charge phones?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy-this is a huge cafeteria!” She yelled

��She seemed to be from a big city, but wouldn’t she be use to such a big room.

“There are so many people here!” She yelled. “You all just eat together!”

“Y-yeah.”

“Beefcake how is there not a fight every day!” She asked rather loudly.

“I-uh.”

To Izuku, Bakugo could make it happen. He took Velia to the line. Her eyes wide at the food, and asked if she was allowed to get certain items. She didn’t seem like an adult, but she was a teaching aid. Technically other schools did allow teaching aid students, but UA normally didn’t since people going there didn’t typically want to be teachers.

“Okay who are we sitting with beefcake?” Y/n asked.

“I normally sit with Ochaco Uraraka and Tenya Iida.”

“Cool, cool, cool. Could I also sit with you guys?”

“Sure.”

They approached the table.

“You’re sitting with us today, Velia?” Iida asked.

“Yeah, gotta sit with the cool kids first then rotate.” She said. “Can’t pick favorites”

“I was assigned to help her tour around.”

“So where are you from? Do you go to university around here?” The brunette girl asked.

That was not part of the back story. She didn’t even think she was smart enough for university, but that’s fair she’s not even at the average age people attend it.

“No, I got offered the position and took it.” She lied.

“I have to say, you look a little familiar, have we met?” Glasses asked.

Tenya Iida. Yes she knew of him.

“With those legs, you’re related to a pro hero aren’t you. It’s a legacy isn’t it, glasses.”

“Glasses-I’m Tenya Iida.”

“If beefcake gets a nickname you need one too. I can’t get accused of picking favorites.”

“What about me?” The brunette girl asked.

“I'd call you brunette but I can come up with something better, give me time.” Y/n said. “You do have some big ass eyes though.”

Though she was sorta an authority figure she was just like another student. She didn’t seem like someone who would hangout with them if she was another student. If it was a typical high school background she seemed she would be someone popular maybe, she was confident and kinda just said anything that crossed her mind. One of those cool popular girls who gets along with most.

“Whose moth man, he stands out the most, or is he a quiet and reserved type?”

“Moth man?”

“Six arms, kinda look like wings, wears a mask?” Y/n described, she wasn’t going to use her original thoughts out loud to describe him, she had to be an adult.

“His name is Shouji Mezo, he is kinda quiet, but very strong” Izuku said.

What a name.

“I'd be jealous, he’s the only one whose allowed to wear tank tops.”

Words that flowed so freely like that made them wonder how she got the job, but she wasn’t bad. It was kinda fresh to have that. But how did she pass the interview?

The rest of the school day was getting easier. Y/n secretly suffered through her anxieties, but she powered through. Her favorite student was the frog girl and maybe moth man. The class was let out and it was just Y/n and Aizawa.

“You’re calming down a bit.”

“Well your little plan worked eating lunch with some students kinda helped.”

“Are you learning anyone’s name?”

“It’s kinda hard still. I didn’t really call anyone by their real name before this either.”

“I figured you were like that.”

“You must know everything when reading my file.” Y/n mocked.

“That garbage isn’t accurate and you know it.”

“No one really asked me to update it.”

“That should be your own responsibility.”

“I am a child-“

“Not here you’re not, you’re supposed to pretend you’re an adult.”

“I don’t even know how to even act like one. You’ve read enough to know that.”

“For someone who's been isolated I wouldn't think you would talk this much.”

“You’re a ray of sunshine.” Y/n hissed.

#shoji mezo #shouji mezou #xreader #bnha fanfiction #bnha

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moonguilt · 5 years

Note

please give me more kl headcanons.😔

OKAY people this got WAY out of hand and i wrote 7 pages of an entire au plotline so uh. sorry everybody but it’s gonna be split into at least a couple different postswe’ll call this CHAPTER 1: (chapter 2 can be found HERE)I roleplay on MMORPGs so you’re gonna have to deal with my self indulgent online roleplaying AU. There will be klance but I have to SET THE STAGE first so bear with me. basically this is just multiplayer online video game roleplaying garbage. on that note, enjoy.

hunk and pidge were the first ones to discover the video game “Voltron.” they dicked around on it just to test out the game controls and perhaps get coding ideas for a game they are trying to create, but they ended up kinda enjoying it. the gameplay has its issues but is overall pretty fluid.

hunk plays a rogue. he has to turn the game volume down sometimes because of the gross gorey noises the game makes when he stabs people. he probably would have rerolled as a different class just to escape the gruesome sound effects, but he really likes being able to enter stealth. he says it makes him feel “safe”

pidge plays a mage. hunk is under the impression that it’s because she wants to play a class with high intelligence points, and pidge doesn’t correct him. but really she just likes the idea of turning her enemies into frogs

shiro is hanging out with matt one day and ends up watching pidge play. he wants to be Hip and Cool so he decides to create a trial account and see if he likes it. turns out, he’s TERRIBLE at the actual gameplay (his computer reflexes are Bad and he keeps dying to basic mechanics on literally every boss fight. matt downloads the game and creates a priest out of pity just to help keep shiro alive while he levels)

“this is demeaning for everyone involved”

“you’re the one who has died seven times now to haxus. literally all you have to do is not stand in the fire. you’re a FULLY ARMORED PALADIN TANK how are you dying so quic—wait a minute. shiro. shiro why are you still wearing your level 1 starting gear.”

however, he finds out that the server they’re playing on has a roleplaying community! he figures he doesnt need swift reflexes to roleplay, so he starts dipping his toe into RP and discovers he really likes it. he enjoys writing stories about his heroic character, and enjoys combining those stories with the stories of other people he meets in the game. it’s like collaborative fantasy fiction writing, and it quickly becomes a passion of his

pidge and matt tease him endlessly for it. hunk is an angel and is very supportive of shiro’s new hobby. he is the only one who will listen to shiro gush about his character. unfortunately when shiro designed the character, he did not have a good grasp on roleplay, so the character is goofy looking and has an overly dramatic backstory involving dragons and a lost royal bloodline. hunk kindly chooses not to comment on it, and instead helps him develop new ideas and plots for his character’s adventures

eventually shiro manages to convince hunk to give RP a try. hunk is very careful and does a lot of research on the Voltron universe lore. he reads all the fanmade wiki pages, roleplaying guides on the game forums, etc., until he feels confident he can create a good character. he does (and eventually goes on to be a popular community figure who hosts huge server events and is friends with literally everyone, but that is several months down the line), and he and shiro begin their roleplaying adventures together

hunk gets Really Into It. fast. like faster than shiro. and he takes it SERIOUSLY; he is a total lore nerd & WILL tell you (in a very gentle, caring tone) if your character’s story/actions do not comply with the game’s established lore

“your character’s outfit is so cool! btw tho, I noticed you mentioned your character was born in the castle of lions—just wanted to let you know, it was actually only rediscovered and unlocked about 10 years ago in the game’s timeline, so it wouldn’t really make work for your character to be born there, since they’re 27 D: but if you want I can help you come up with a different birthplace :)”

keith, lance, and allura had thus far managed to resist the voltron bug. they just aren’t into mmorpg stuff, they insist. single-player games, sure, but open-world multi-player? sounds weird

lance falls first. Hunk hits him with the puppy dog eyes and its all over for him

he creates the most ridiculously beautiful character he can

“i dont care about whether my guy is a freaking dps or not, hunk, i need him to have an ass like a kardashian. WHERE IS THE BUTT SLIDER HUNK. i have a NICE ASS and i want it IMMORTALIZED IN PIXEL FORM”

he does, in fact, end up picking dps. hunk shows him the archer class and he lights up like a christmas tree

“i know you always wanted to bone legolas, so”

“i wanted to BE legolas, not BONE him, HUNK”

“sure lance”

allura falls next. her and lance��s weekly “self-care spa sessions” turn into lance rambling about all the wacky stuff he and hunk and shiro got up to that week, and she eventually cracks under the pressure because she Hates when there’s a new fad and she doesn’t understand it

“and then this guy came up to us and started roleplaying with us in ALL LOWER CASE and shiro and i wanted to d i e but hunk was all ‘nooo he’s just a newbie in need of some pointers’ and then spent the next TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES giving this guy tips and tricks about grammar and punctuation–”

within 2 days she has gotten almost halfway through leveling her new druid healer because she is Determined damn it

coran, allura’s uncle, also begins playing shortly thereafter. allura never says why exactly, but it does seem to be a direct result of her influence somehow. he plays a gunslinger class because he’s “always wanted to be a ‘rooting & tooting cowboy,’ as you call it!”

for whatever reason, he is Very Good at the game, like freakishly skilled. everyone is kind of afraid to question it so they just accept it and move on

he and pidge are really the only ones who are focusing on the actual game content anymore, so they start doing high-level raids together and then begin to gain something of a reputation as a terrifying duo in player-versus-player combat.

keith is resilient. he is a notoriously stubborn boy and no amount of puppy dog eyes from hunk or persuasive lectures from shiro will convince him to step outside his comfort zone

but lance, well. lance knows exactly how to get keith to do what he wants

“i bet you just know my character’s way cooler than yours would be”

“?? no. i literally dont care about your character or anybody else's”

“huh. guess i will just always be better at video games than you”

“are you seriously still trying to hold your killbot phantasm score over my head. you got lucky”

“i am the peerless king of video games–”

“are you listening to yourself. do you actually hear the words coming from your mouth.”

“–undefeated because you are too much of a coward–”

“fuck OFF send me the fucking download link you loudmouth”

keith takes. forever. to design his character.

lance is leaning over the back of keith’s chair, giving outrageous suggestions (and blatant lies) that keith pointedly ignores

“keith. keith if you give him neon orange hair it boosts your speed, did you know that?”

“choosing big ears gives you greater perception stats keith”

“keith listen to me, you gain the ability to breathe underwater if you choose a broken nose—OW, what the hell–”

keith takes SO LONG that eventually lance has to leave for dance lessons and when he gets back keith is only JUST finishing up

turns out he took so long because he wanted to use every resource available in the game to make the character look like a carbon copy of himself. the end result would have been impressive if it wasn’t so eerily accurate

“you’re seriously naming him keith kogane.”

“it’s my name!”

“keith it’s a ROLEPLAYING game. you’re supposed to play a ROLE”

“and my role is keith kogane.”

“that doesnt even fit the naming conventions for the humans in this game! hunk would be having a FIT right now if he was here”

“good thing he’s not”

keith selects the warrior class because, as lance repeatedly and petulantly insists, he is a “boring basic bitch fuckboy”

“im the fuckboy?? thats rich coming from a guy who plays an archer because he has a big fat crush on orlando bloom in a blond wig”

“HUNK is spreading LIES okay I do NOT have a cru–”

“i dont know what you see in him. he’s literally just a white lotor”

“you TAKE THAT BACK”

to be continued :)

#gfkjhdgfDGF im a mess i spent my ENTIRE day and night on this why am i like this kill me #i havent written anything for vld in a long time and it HIT me and i just got carried away :( perhaps i miss them #klance #video game au #headcanon #vld #moonguilt content

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hazyheel · 5 years

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NJPW Best of the Super Juniors 2019 Day 8 Review

From main event to curtain jerking, El Phantasmo took on Ren Narita. Phantasmo quickly overpowered Narita, putting him on the mat toying with him. This was a rough match for Narita. Normally he could kinda hold his own, but Phantasmo was kicking the shit out of him. Narita was able to hit the high belly to belly, but once again couldn’t bridge. The closest Narita got was a bridging german suplex, but only a near fall. This time around, Phantasmo got the win with a big frog splash. Phantasmo: 10, Narita: 0

Grade: C+. Decent match, not a lot of back forth, but this was a fun little extended squash. Not great, but I like seeing Phantasmo being a cocky dick.

Then we had TAKA Michinoku vs. Titan. The two were grappling quite a bit, with both really being able to stand up to the other. The two chopped the hell out of each other, and Taka tied him up in knots early on. Titan got the advantage once he started to speed up the match, using his high flying to keep him on his toes. Taka was able to fight back a bit, forcing Titan to the mat for submissions, but Titan could fight out of it. Titan was actually able to get a quick win with a Michinoku driver of his own, followed by tying his legs for a submission. Titan: 4, Michinoku: 0.

Grade: B-. A weak B-, because of the super weird finish, but they had a pretty good match. I liked how Titan really had to work to create space, while still resorting to his technical wrestling ways to fight out of certain holds. I’m bummed that Taka still hasn’t gotten a win, and this really felt like his most winnable match, so I hope he gets something soon.

Next up was Robbie Eagles vs. BUSHI. Bushi started with a flying dropkick after his pose, and they were off to the races. Once again, Bushi used the belt to whip Eagles on the outside a little bit, keeping a strong advantage in the early stages. Eagles of course worked over the leg, Eagles fought hard in the match, hitting the turbo backpack, and reversing the kickout into the Ron Miller special. Bushi fought back into the match with a couple codebreakers, and then the MX for the shocking win. Bushi: 4, Eagles: 6

Grade: B. Pretty good stuff, I think that these two are blending together really well. Bushi is getting better and better as a singles star, and this tournament is only proving that more and more. I like how Bushi is resorting to bending the rules more and more to win, and he is getting those wins. This is a big deal for him, given that Eagles is one of the front runners in Block B. I don’t know if Eagles is falling out of one of those top spots, it certainly doesn’t seem like it. But it is exciting to see him lose.

Into Jonathan Gresham vs. Tiger Mask IV. The two shook hands, and began on the mat as we all thought they will. Tiger Mask also kept up pressure using quick strikes, and really assaulted his midsection with strikes. Picking up the speed seemed to favor Gresham, but Tiger Mask’s experience allowed him to continue to slow things down with holds. As the two fought on the ground, grappling, Gresham had Tiger Mask in a headscissors when he hooked the leg, and got the pin. Gresham: 6, Tiger Mask: 4.

Grade: C-. I wasn’t too into this. The wrestlers didn’t seem to play much to their advantages, wanting to work a striking angle. I think that this would have been much better if they kept things on the mat. I don’t think Tiger Mask is all that great in a striking contest, but I liked the finish, and I was happy to see Gresham get another 2 points.

Then we had DOUKI vs. YOH. Douki of course attacked before the match, and threw Yoh all around the arena. Douki took a page out of Bushi’s book at one point, choking Yoh out with his own jacket. Yoh really sold his ass off for Douki during his match, making it seem like absolute agony to fight this guy. However, Yoh fought back, focusing on the leg as he normally does. Douki locked in a necktie choke, and he couldn’t really do much to get out of it, not even by tapping. There was an interesting dynamic here as they both looked for a full nelson in order to get their respective dragon suplexes. In the end, Yoh broke out of the suplex de la luna, skinning the cat on the bottom rope for a huge superkick and then a dragon suplex for the win. Yoh: 6, Douki: 2.

Grade: B-. I think this was interesting, but not overly good. I like the dynamic between both guys looking for the dragon suplex. I also think that Douki’s matches suffer from not being brawls, so a match against Yoh wasn’t going to be his best just yet.

Next up was Marty Scurll vs. SHO. Scurll came out with his actual head and neck taped up, from the goddamn ringer that Takagi put him through last night. However, he was faking it, and he attacked Sho before the bell. Sho went to work on Scurll’s arm, ringing it out to soften it up for the armbar. Scurll attempted to keep the match in striking territory, as he could not contend with Sho’s raw strength on the mat. Commentary pointed out that Scurll was not targeting the head or arm here, but rather Sho’s cauliflowered ear. And while Scurll tried to keep things in striking, Sho proved that he can go blow for blow with him. At one point, Scurll hit almost a pumphandle michinoku driver onto the knee for a near fall. At another point, Sho actually fought out of a chicken wing with nothing but his raw strength. Scurll tried to counter the strength by breaking the fingers, but that didn’t stop Sho from using his arms for lariats. Sho was then able to nail a last ride to the knees for a near fall, followed by Shock Arrow for the win. Sho: 4, Scurll: 4.

Grade: B+. Best match on the show up to this point. They did really well together on a stacked card. Scurll didn’t outright cheat during the match, but he certainly didn’t play fair. However, Sho got a second wind, and fought back to win the match. While it is unlikely that Sho gets the actual win for his block, he can still finish on the higher end.

Now, possibly the most important match in the tournament (according to the competitors) Rocky Romero vs. Ryusuke Taguchi. Not only was this for two points in the tournament, but the winner became the head coach of New Japan. I don’t know what that means, but it is important to them. Rocky came out with basketball gear on, while Taguchi was in his classic rugby. The match actually started with Taguchi making a basket in his arms so Rocky could shoot, but the ball hit him in the head, followed by a slam dunk with the ball to the floor. So this was a goofy one. Taguchi beat him up using his ass. The two traded clotheslines and hip attacks running between the corners, the crowd loved it. It took Taguchi a while to go for the ankle lock, despite Rocky’s injured leg from his match with Yoh. Rocky went for the arm in response, and at one point, Taguchi tried to pull Rocky out of an armbar for a powerbomb, but he didn’t have enough strength. Rocky countered the Dodon into a rollup, and after a few counters, Taguchi got the pin. Taguchi: 8, Rocky: 2.

In the end, the two ended up splitting the coach responsibility. They even posed together. This is so dumb, but I’m smiling.

Grade: B. The match was alright, I wasn’t a huge fan of it. I don’t think that they leaned far enough into serious stuff nor comedy wrestling. I think it would have been better if it had gone either way. But it was a fun little match with funny moments that made me laugh.

Then we had Taiji Ishimori vs. Yoshinobu Kanemaru. The two had some history from Pro Wrestling NOAH, where Ishimori has never been able to beat Kanemaru. Puts an interesting slant on this match, as Ishimori is still undefeated. Kanemaru jumped before the bell. Kanemaru quickly countered a springboard kick attempt by kicking out the arm, before dragging Ishimori into the crowd. Kanemaru tried to get the same win as last night by chucking a chair at Ishimori to get the countout, but Ishimori jumped it and made it back. Kanemaru continued to bend the rules, constantly using the ref as a weapon. Kanemaru had the whiskey, but Ishimori caught him. Ishimori was going to use the whiskey, but Red Shoes was back up and took it, only for Kanemaru to reveal that he had held onto the whiskey, and spit it at him, and a roleup for the win. Kanemaru: 4, Ishimori: 8.

Grade: B-. This was just shenanigans city right here. Kanemaru just did all his cheating spots until one stuck, and that entertained me. Ishimori’s first loss of the tournament came at the hands of a guy who patently refused to follow the rules, and it serves as some comeuppance, albeit at the hands of another heel. I liked it, although it was too short and one sided to get much more than a B-.

Into Bandido vs. Will Ospreay, a rematch from an Indie show over Wrestlemania weekend that was really good. This was for sure one that I was looking forward to. Started with a handshake, Both fliers were incredibly strong for their weight and speed, which led to an interesting match that included both power moves as well as flying. Bandido hit an awesome gorilla press into a falcon arrow, followed up with a low dropkick to the back of the head. When the two began striking, they were really beating the hell out of each other, with strikes that thundered in the arena. Bandido targeted Ospreay’s neck in striking, and Ospreay seemed to be fighting on the backfoot during this match. At one point, Osrpeay had Bandido up for a powerbomb, but Bandido countered into a reverse rana, followed by a springboard shootng star press to the outside. Another time, Ospreay hit a stundog millionaire, shoutouts to Mark Andrews, an old friend of his. At another point, Bandido drilled Ospreay with a superkick and a spike rana, only for Ospreay to roll through for a near fall. As Bandido went for the 21 plex, Ospreay held on, so Bandido hit a GTS and tried again, only for Ospreay to completely flip out of it. Bandido hit the shooting star slam, but Ospreay grabbed the bottom rope. Finally, in the finish, Bandido went for a moonsault, but Ospreay caught him on his shoulders, and it a stormbreaker out of nowhere for the win. Ospreay: 8, Bandido: 4.

Grade: A. Holy crap this was so so good. This may be my favorite match of the tournament so far. This was awesome. They flew around at crazy speeds, they beat each other into the ground with their strikes, and Ospreay nearly lost, but was able to pick up a shocking counter for the win. Bandido did great too, showing off some of his unbelievable strength and striking. They just clicked super well, and delivered a great match once again. Match of the night.

And in the main event, Dragon Lee took on Shingo Takagi, in another match that I couldn’t wait for. Lee was looking for a handshake, as he had everyone else. Takagi took it, but then pulled him in to start the match. Lee tried to kick things into another gear, but Takagi simply overpowered Lee with a hard slam. Lee wanted to go strike for strike, but interspersed that with fast paced flying. At one point, Lee went for his rana off the apron, but Takagi actually caught him and hit a Death Valley driver on the apron. Lee hit his usual corner dropkick, but it looked so painful as he connected with the side of Takagi’s head. Lee tried to go strike for strike with Takagi, this time with a knee lift and a huge lariat. Lee then hit a suicide dive, emphasis on suicide as Lee launched about 12 feet into the crowd. Takagi was hurting after that, struggling to hit the Noshigami and a pumping bomber, only getting a near fall for a lot of effort. As Takagi went for last of the dragons, Lee countered with a crucifix bomb for a near fall, and then hit a brutal running knee. Lee then hit an awesome combo, of a German off the ropes, a knee lift, a reverse rana and another knee for only a 1, and then he followed up with another running knee for a near fall. Lee almost hit desnucadora, but Takagi fought out and got last of the dragons for the win. Takagi: 10, Lee: 6.

Grade: A. Another great match to end out the night. They destroyed each other during this match, and Lee looked goddamn phenomenal. Even in losing, he came the closest to beating Takagi out of anyone so far. Takagi best the champion, as we thought he would, but he went through hell to do it. Definitely a must watch match.

Overall Grade: B.

Pros: Eagles vs Bushi; Scurll vs Sho; Rocky vs Taguchi; Ospreay vs Bandido; Takagi vs Lee

Cons: Gresham vs Tiger Mask; could’ve used more comedy for coach vs coach

Losses: Taka Michinoku, BUSHI, Ren Narita officially cannot win Best of the Super Juniors 26.

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lesbiankakyoin · 6 years

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a few jojo characters and the memes they would enjoy: a list

• jonathan joestar: he'd be that guy who doesn't understand memes at all

• erina pendleton: wholesome memes in general

• robert e. o. speedwagon: dead memes. especially those rage comics from 2012

• dio brando/DIO: anything involving wine, the goth aesthetic and shades of narcissism

• joseph joestar (young and old): literally a shitposting machine

• caesar a. zeppeli: he'd probably laugh at joseph's shitposting... just not in front of him. and i feel like he'd get a good laugh from the "...bro" memes

• elizabeth joestar, AKA lisa lisa: has a similar taste to dio's

• rudolph von stroheim: as he's a literal nazi, i figure he'd like alt-right memes or so

• the pillar men: wtf they have no time for that human nonsense (though kars would secretly be fond of doggo/birb memes)

• jotaro kujo: he'd look at lame puns but just to get angry

• noriaki kakyoin: oh, he'd surely be a channer and love /v/. there is a 99.9% probability that he would've helped 4chan track shia labeouf down. and he still collects rare pepes just because he likes the damn frog so much

• jean pierre polnareff: no preferences. anything would make him laugh. ANYTHING, i say.

• muhammad avdol: he'd probably have a good laugh at the weirdest shit in existence

• iggy: he would feel like every human meme is too normie for him

• vanilla ice: this man would have a fanpage for dio and post memes about him, alongside pucci, mariah and enyaba

• terence trent d'arby: one who would enjoy memes about gaming (but not the ones that we see on facebook). a loyal follower of /v/, just like kakyoin

• hol horse: y'know the kind of jokes that your dad and/or your uncle make on whatsapp? this is the one.

• josuke higashikata: he'd be all over doge and would beat up anyone who claims it to be a dead meme. because, y'know, he's practically the human form of doge. insulting doge would be insulting him, just like the hair thing he's got going on

• okuyasu nijimura: like erina, he'd post wholesome memes all over, and probably some weird internal jokes with josuke

• koichi hirose: anything that his friends say is good

• rohan kishibe: memes about the struggle of being an artist (especially from tumblr)

• yukako yamagishi: the kind of memes that teenage girls like

• reimi sugimoto: doggo memes, all of them

• mikitaka hazekura: weird-ass jokes that no one understands and laughs at exactly because of this

• yuya fungami: he'd make memes of himself and would use them unironically in every situation possible

• shigekiyo "shigechi" yangu: overly saturated memes that no one can stand anymore

• yoshikage kira (parts 4 and 8): i bet 2 dollars that he'd share anything as long as it's about laughing at the expense of idiots

• giorno giovanna: have you ever seen this man. he does not laugh. he wouldn't post any memes at all.

• bruno buccellati: he would actually and sincerely laugh at everything the other passione members sent to him

• guido mista: his favourite meme would be "no homo bro", to the point that he'd say that to giorno all the time, who wouldn't get it and just stare blankly at mista

• narancia ghirga: the dANKEST MEMES IN EXISTENCE

• leone abbacchio: depression memes, to a point where the other passione members would start to become worried about him

• trish una: memes about pop singers and LGBT culture in general (she's like the typical straight girl who says she's "one with The Gays™")

• pannacotta fugo: he would give angery reacts to every meme even if he liked it

• vinegar doppio: no memes, just cute pictures of anime girls and dogs

• risotto nero: he looks very menacing, but the kind of memes he would like is... dad jokes. all over.

• ghiaccio: to quote the man himself, and that may or may not be an actual ghiaccio quote, "WHO THE FUCK HAS TIME TO LAUGH??? I AM TOO ANGRY FOR THIS"

• cioccolata: the kind of meme that makes you think "what sort of psychopathic fuck would get even the slightest laugh from this shit"

• diavolo: he wouldn't normally laugh at anything, but if doppio showed him any meme he would probably chuckle

• jolyne cujoh: memes about sex. even before she turned 18, she'd still make these jokes over and over

• ermes costello: would giggle at lesbian memes but swear to god that she isn't one

• f.f.: she doesn't understand human humour, but would definitely have some good laughs at the lamest facebook memes in existence

• wes bluemarine AKA weather report: any sort of memes that make fun of florida, for any reason

• narciso anasui: those memes like "we are number one but every one is replaced by pingu saying NOOT"

• gwess: has pretty much the same sense of humour as cioccolata's, only more toned down

• enrico pucci: aside from managing the dio fanpage mentioned above, he would also like christian memes ofc

• johnny joestar: oh he'd laugh so hard at the "i have crippling depression" meme, because he would just find it so relatable. and then cry afterward

• gyro zeppeli: like in canon, he'd share pointless jokes, stupid puns and songs that became memes (such as man's not hot or the 7th element)

• lucy steel: a very simple girl, would laugh at anything mr. steel showed her. like her original universe counterpart, she'd also be fond of wholesome memes

• diego brando: like kira, would share memes that make fun of others. probably an addict to failarmy compilations

• hot pants: christian memes, like pucci, given her religious background

• sandman: that one image that has a boy presenting a powerpoint slide that says "white people are crazy" would be, hands down, his favourite

• funny valentine: there's a very high chance that he'd share memes poking fun at hideous spelling/grammar errors. and memes mocking the UK. he'd also say "FREEDOM, BITCH" unironically

• jo2uke higashikata: his timeline would be comprised of lame puns. he'd also make some OCs and show them all to yasuho before publishing them

• yasuho hirose: haha reacts at every meme jo2uke posts

• norisuke higashikata IV: the daddest dad jokes. no one can compare to his dad jokes. he would be a winner in that aspect

• daiya higashikata: music memes (and, as she's blind, she'd ask kyo to read the memes for her)

• joshuu higashikata: would probably like the ideal GF meme and make a "yasuho GF" of his own

• hato higashikata: similarly to trish above, she'd enjoy memes about pop singers. and there's a high chance that she'd like stuff about the kardashians

• jobim higashikata: beetle memes if those exist at all. the man would also be a huge pokémon lover as well, and share jokes about the franchise

• tsurugi higashikata: as in canon, lame puns. jobim would also show him the pokémon jokes, which tsurugi would greatly appreciate

• kyo nijimura: doesn't laugh in front of the higashikatas, but she herself would make some OCs at the expense of the family and send them to jo2uke, hoping that his "kira" side appreciates those

• kaato higashikata: she once saw one of kyo's OCs. and damn, she loved it so much that she begs kyo to send more, especially if they're about norisuke

• karera sakunami: anything will make this woman laugh, especially relatable memes

#jjba #tw: depression #i spent too much time thinking about this

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unpretty · 6 years

Text

hey finals week is coming up and i have like two projects so i

LET'S READ: KRAVEN THE HUNTER

(Previously On, or, The Mess So Far)

THE ANNUALS

I FORGOT ABOUT THE FUCKING ANNUALS

I need to make an actual list of every appearance in order because I have only done two of these and already I have dropped the fucking ball. Fuck. ANYWAY

This is legitimately the first time I have read this so we are going on this journey together, you and I. This comic is literally from right after Kraven's first appearance, as far as I can tell? So Kraven really was gone for two years, it's just... the two years after this, I guess. I don't know how annuals fit into the main timeline.

Aunt May what the fuck are you wearing, girl. It's so weird to see Betty Brant described as one of the most important people in Peter's life. Mary Jane who? Gwen Stacy what? No, it's all about power couple Peter Parker and Betty Brant, his one true love, forever.

Blah blah blah Doc Ock escapes from prison and Spider-Man steals JJ's newspaper just to be a dick about it. This explains a lot about why Kraven's impersonation seemed so plausible. "Spider-Man just randomly tormenting JJ for no goddamn reason? Yeah, that seems about right."

Peter is this really the easiest way for you to read the paper. I feel like those lights really weren't designed to carry that much weight.

THOR IS LITERALLY JUST HERE TO KNOCK SPIDER-MAN OVER? OKAY.

But FINALLY, OUR BOY SHOWS UP.

YEAH.

Oh my god Doc Ock. He's killing me. He looks so sleazy here with his cigarette. Like an angry frog. WHY DO HIS GLOVES HAVE FINGERNAILS.

Then the story returns almost immediately to a far more important issue: Peter being a huge asshole at the slightest provocation.

Flash clearly has his own issues, Peter. His relationship is on the brink of collapse and you're not even trying to deny fucking his girlfriend. Come on, dude. Come on.

DO YOU KNOW WHO HAS TO BREAK UP THIS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY DIPSHIT BATTLE?

DR STRANGE.

DR. STRANGE HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN INTERVENE IN THESE SHENANIGANS.

Such smooth cameos. Such compelling cross-overs. I feel so drawn to spend all of my money on these other comics, about characters who just kind of swan around New York breaking up fights and knocking Spider-Man off lampposts.

Anyway then some stuff happens, Sandman is there, Aunt May is sad, rehash of Spider-Man's origin story for some reason, etc. Then Spider-Man's powers go away, possibly because he's so sad. I don't know. I haven't read ahead. I just wanted to show you these panels.

"If I weren't stuck on this pole, losing all of my great powers and great responsibilities would be awesome" - Spider-Man, basically.

THEY JUST KEEP DRIVING. OH MY GOD, I'M LOSING MY MIND. "YUP, THERE'S SPIDER-MAN, DICKING AROUND LIKE USUAL. YOU KNOW HOW HE HATES PEOPLE. LET'S JUST KEEP GOING AND PRETEND WE DIDN'T SEE." OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS AMAZING. Godddd. The way Reed STRETCHES to really get a good fucking look at what this idiot is doing, while driving. Johnny like UGH, THAT FUCKING GUY. This is the best relationship for superheroes to have with each other. "I don't know what he's doing, and to be honest, I don't want to know. We have our own problems. I'm a rock, for god's sake."

It takes Peter like hour to get home and he doesn't have any spare clothes so he's just creeping around like a loon in terror that someone is going to rip his mask off while he's vulnerable. Then THE SINISTER SIX ASSEMBLE except they aren't calling themselves that yet.

"Working together, how can we fail?"

"Wow, Kraven, I'm glad you're so on board with this plan."

"What? No. Fuck this plan. I hate it. If there's no chance for me to die a horrible death then what's the fucking point? Get away from me, nerd."

I'M CRYING

THIS IS DOC OCK'S BRILLIANT PLAN

THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE TURNS BY DRAWING NUMBERS OUT OF A HAT

EVERYONE'S JUST GOING ALONG WITH THIS LIKE IT'S NOT THE DUMBEST THING THEY'VE EVER HEARD IN THEIR LIVES

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS

"LET'S TEAM UP TO DESTROY SPIDER-MAN BY FIGHTING HIM ONE AT A TIME, IN AN ORDERLY FASHION, EVERYONE DRAW STRAWS" - A CRIMINAL FUCKING MASTERMIND

So anyway then Peter mopes for a while about his powers and skips school, while Aunt May worries herself half to death. Then he mopes at the docks for some reason (WHY DOES PETER PARKER LOVE TO HANG OUT AT THE DOCKS, WHY DOES THIS COME UP MORE THAN ONCE) and then mopes aggressively at... Giant-Man?

Giant-Man and the Wasp? Did Ant-Man used to be called Giant-Man? Why the fuck was his girlfriend the Wasp, then? What was their theme? Did they have a theme? Her costume isn't even Wasp-ish. I have a lot of questions that aren't going to be answered here. Anyway Peter is really bitter for someone who was psyched about losing his powers. Getting pointedly ignored by the Fantastic Four really did a number on him, I guess.

Now the Sinister Six kidnap Aunt May and Betty Brant. They were mostly trying to kidnap Betty. Aunt May was just there for meddling purposes. THANK GOD JJ IS THERE TO SAVE THE DAY

Thank God. Someone competent.

Aunt May... please. Some trouble with his arms.

This is getting really bogged down in shit that isn't Kraven. Kraven isn't even hanging out with the rest of the team. He hasn't been in a single panel since he drew his number. He does not give a shit about any of this. He's just politely waiting his fucking turn to kick Spider-Man's ass.

Vulture tells JJ that he wants him to tell Spider-Man they've kidnapped Betty, who I guess the villains have figured out is his girlfriend. They say fuck-all about Aunt May. JJ insults Spider-Man a lot by implying that he doesn't know how to read and also asks them to keep Betty safe. Peter spends the whole panel in intense thought bubbles, saying nothing. He just stands there in silence as JJ negotiates for his hostage girlfriend. I know he's brooding about his powers and whatever, but oh my god, Peter, fucking say something.

JJ is frantic to save Betty while Peter is having an episode, so he just starts calling superheroes at random asking if anyone knows how to get in touch with Spider-Man. Cap doesn't know shit about shit, but the Human Torch decides to do JJ a solid by putting a message in the sky, I guess.

"Hey, Professor X? It seems like there's some weird shit going down."

"Does it say mutants? Does it say 'to me, my X-men? No? Shut the fuck up and get back to training. Beast, what the hell are you even doing. We've talked about this."

So Spider-Man goes to fight Electro powerless, but nearly getting killed by Electro makes him realize that he still has his powers. He had his powers all along. He just moped so hard that he lost them for a while. So he kicks Electro's ass and no one cares. Iron Man shows up for five seconds to see what that noise was, then leaves. JJ is still frantically calling superheroes because Spider-Man didn't bother to give him a heads-up that he was aware of the situation.

FINALLY, OUR HERO RETURNS

Okay so I guess this explains that brief flashback cameo where Kraven had two leopards in a featureless void. That makes this the actual first appearance of Kraven the Tamer. Post status: corrected. Kraven whistle-trained some goddamn leopards. Good for you, Kraven.

SPIDEY DID YOU JUST KICK KRAVEN IN THE DICK.

Oh my god was the gratuitous racist reference really necessary here, Peter??

ARE YOU SHITTING ME. HE DOESN'T EVEN BEAT KRAVEN. HE JUST SHOVES HIS HAND DOWN HIS PANTS TO STEAL THE CARD AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT GUY. WHAT THE FUCK. Also that's just the worst comeback I have ever seen in my whole life. “More like never.” Work on your banter and come back to me, young man.

I can't believe I'm reading this whole fucking comic just for Kraven to get pickpocketed without any good fight action. I've been robbed.

We get it, Peter. He's hairy.

Then the Human Torch shows up and PETER STARTS TRYING TO KICK HIS ASS FOR NO REASON.

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK, PETER. They fight for like two pages before Spider-Man stops flailing long enough for Johnny to say that he wants to help him fight the bad guys. All he wanted was to help. And then Spider-Man says no and Johnny shrugs and leaves. I can't believe this fucking comic.

Doc Ock has been politely serving the ladies tea and danishes. No, really.

Who the fuck am I supposed to be rooting for in this comic. My god.

It briefly seems like there might be a plot twist where Kraven set Spidey up to fight the X-men, but they're actually just robots. Spider-Man beats up some robots that look like the X-men. Mysterio was number three. He kicks Mysterio's ass and... sets him on fire??? Look, it's unclear. But the card with the next address on it for this damsel scavenger hunt gets lit on fire, and Peter has to try and silly-putty this shit with some webbing.

I feel like that's not how Spider-Sense works, but what the fuck do I know. I didn't even know about Spider-Beams. I'm clearly lacking in the subject of Spider-Man lore.

JJ. JJ YOU FUCKING ANGEL. I LOVE YOU, JONAH. NEVER CHANGE. HE'S SO DESPERATE TO SAVE HIS SECRETARY HE'S TALKING TO A GODDAMN SPIDER, EMBLEM OF HIS SWORN NEMESIS. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. This almost makes up for the lack of Kraven. What a perfect, perfect moment.

Hey, wait, he references Ant-Man. So there is an Ant-Man? Then who the fuck is Giant-Man? What the fuck.

Spider-Man fights Sandman, whose clever plan was to trap Spider-Man with him in some kind of perfectly sealed cube. But then Sandman couldn't breathe and he passed the fuck out, allowing Spider-Man to run away. His spider powers include holding his breath for a really long time. That's canon I guess.

JJ has been so frantic and spent so much time interrogating spiders that he forgot to print extra editions. All of his competitors have now scooped him on the exciting Spider-Man story. JJ is a fucking mess.

It's Vulture's turn, and Vulture insists he won't fight unless Spider-Man takes off his web shooters. Like? Okay? Vulture gets his ass kicked legit, which is fair, because if Peter pickpocketed an old man and ran away he would never hear the end of it. He goes to an old castle where he kicks Doc Ock's ass. Aunt May hates him.

They'd better give me at least one more Kraven panel after all this. Fuck.

CHIPPER IS NOT THE WORD FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS.

IS THAT REALLY ALL I GET, HERE. ARE YOU SERIOUS. Fuck this. Fuck annuals. Oh my god. Kraven is just sitting there in annoyed silence with a bunch of dudes in green. He regrets everything. He didn't even get to fight Spider-Man. Their plan didn't work at all. He was promised a fight with Spider-Man and instead he just got pickpocketed and had Rudyard Kipling references made at him. This is the fucking worst.

Let's summarize this whole debacle from Kraven's perspective:

Kraven is told that there is a plan to kick Spider-Man's ass as a team. He's iffy about it. They tell him he gets to fight him alone, he just has to draw a number out of a hat to decide when he gets his turn. Yeah, okay, fine. Then the other villains go do some dumb shit that Kraven doesn't care about, except that he's been told it will ensure that Spider-Man will be forced to fight him. Okay, fine. He gets some leopards that he had lying around because they could use the exercise and they match his pants. Things are looking up for Kraven. The fight starts good. Then Spider-Man shoves his hand in Kraven's pants, steals the card they made him carry, and runs away. There is no more fight. Kraven gets arrested. That's it. That's all that happens.

Fuck annuals.

(Next Time, or, The Mess So Far)

#original #kraven readalong #kraven the hunter

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alphacrone · 7 years

Text

The Origin of the Bittle-Zimmermann Cruel Jam Empire (Another Non-NHL!Jack fic)

[Sequel to this fic]

CW: FOOD, mentions of real people

“Alright, so I got so stressed out about the exam I had today that I made a couple things of jam,” Bittle said as he swept into Jack’s apartment. He’d had his own key since Jack had gotten the place, and he abused that privilege on an almost daily basis. If it had been anyone else, Jack would have regretted living so close to campus.

“What’s ‘a couple?’” Jack asked without looking up from his laptop.

Bittle huffed and set a box down on Jack’s table with a small thud. “I plead the fifth,” he said, hand on his hip.

“Mhmm.” Jack raised an eyebrow, standing to peer inside at the half dozen mason jars. “What’re today’s flavors?”

“Three things of strawberry rhubarb -- I experimented with adding vanilla and nutmeg -- and jalapeño jam, which everyone back home loves to use for holiday parties and whatnot. Goes great with cream cheese and crackers.”

“Because I throw so many parties,” Jack chirped.

“Didn’t I tell you?” Bittle asked, bustling around to grab himself a cup of water. “We’re hosting a holiday party before everyone goes home. Not a big thing,” he added quickly at Jack’s frown. “Me, you, the gang, the Frogs…”

“Matt?” Jack asked far too casually.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Bittle said, frowning down at the sink. “Things have been kind of weird with him lately. I think he’s gonna break up with me.”

Jack gritted his teeth. Sure, he wasn’t Matt’s biggest fan, but he didn’t the guy was that stupid. “His loss,” he managed to say, switching over from his assignment to his Gmail account to try and distract himself. There were three new emails waiting for him: one from his parents, checking in; one from his bank with his daily checking account balance; and one, surprisingly, from Georgia Martin.

“You’re sweet,” Bittle said sadly, sitting down across from Jack. “But he’s, like, way out of my league. I never stood a chance.”

Jack frowned, mouse hovering over George’s name. “Bittle, he’s out of your league because he’s- he’s little league and you’re- you’re fucking Peyton Manning.”

Bittle chewed on his bottom lip, looking pleased. “Thanks, Jack.”

“Just stating facts,” he replied, opening George’s email and skimming the contents. “Huh…”

“What?” Bittle cast him a curious glance.

“I have an email from George Martin- you remember her, right? She was the AGM who knocked you over while you were Tweeting your way to class.” Bittle glared at him but nodded. “She’s just...I don’t know. Checking up on me. Making sure I’m doing okay, asking if there’s anything I need from her. That’s...nice.”

Bittle cooed. “What a sweet lady. I should send her some jam.”

“We’ve got plenty,” Jack mildly. Bittle scoffed.

“There’s a whole case left at the Haus. I’m giving some to Farmer for the volleyball team, and some to Atley for being the best advisor ever, but I think I can definitely spare one or five jars. And make some bread to go with it.”

“Here,” Jack said, pulling his wallet from his pocket. “Use my card for the shipping.” “Jack, I couldn’t-” Bittle started, but stopped at the look Jack cast him. “Alright, thank you. The Sin Bin’s been running a bit low since March and Ransom broke up and Holster declared a moratorium on Nursey using the word ‘hashtag’ in conversations with Dex.”

Jack chuckled and shook his head. “You know, you can always count on me to be your personal Sin Bin. You don’t have to pay for all of your baking from fines and Christmas money from Moomaw.”

Bitty sighed. “You know I can’t do that, Jack. Plus, I have two whole jobs now! They don’t pay much, but they definitely fun my butter obsession.”

Jack sighed fondly, holding back a smile. Bittle had managed to get a job over the summer filming video blogs for the administration office’s YouTube channel. It was a weak attempt on their end to attract students to Samwell, but Bittle loved it to death -- and he’d been so good at it, they’d offered him a position as a tour guide. Neither was more than a few hours a week and both were minimum wage, but they made Bittle happy and gave him some sense of financial independence, no matter how inconsequential.

“Okay,” Jack said placatingly. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Only if you’re ordering Thai,” Bittle teased.

Jack rolled his eyes fondly and opened up his phone, thumb already on the GrubHub icon.

The holiday party was as low-key as Bittle had promised. Matt had broken up with him, but Bittle didn’t seem too upset. Ransom and Holster were so burned out from finals and the season that they didn’t even try to bring a keg, and Shitty brought a whole sack full of presents for everyone, poorly wrapped in “non-denominational, boss-ass snowman” wrapping paper. Nursey and Dex seemed to fighting less, and Chowder brought Farmer, who was always really nice to Jack. They sat around Jack’s tiny living room, eating jalapeño jelly on crackers with cream cheese and drinking wine that actually came from a bottle.

“I feel so adult,” Bittle whispered to Jack, cheeks flushed from the alcohol. “It’s like the New Year’s parties my parents always go to.”

Jack grinned down at him and helped himself to some of the artichoke dip that had just been pulled from the oven. “You’ll be 21 in a few months, Bittle,” he said. “Soon you’ll be old and boring like me.”

“Shh,” Bittle shushed. “Will not.”

“Oh, did I tell you?” Jack sat up a little straighter, trying not to feel excited when Bittle leaned into his space. “George wrote a thank you note for the jam and bread you sent over. Apparently,” he continued, leaning over to grab his own glass of water. “Alexei Mashkov had some -- they brunch, or something -- and was asking her for your contact info. I can pass that along, if you want.”

“Oh!” Bittle held a hand to his mouth. “An NHL star wants my jam?”

“What?” Holster looked over at them. “Bits, are you boning a pro athlete?”

“No!” Bittle gasped loudly. “Alexei Mashkov wants my actual jam, the kind I make in a kitchen.”

“Dude, what?!” Ransom jumped up, eyes wide with excitement. “You’ve talked to Mashkov?!”

“No,” Bittle repeated, looking frustrated. Jack casually leaned over to grab the wine from the coffee table and pour Bittle another glass. “Jack talked to Geo- the Falconers’ GM recently and she was so nice I sent her a care package and she shared it with Mashkov and now, apparently, he wants some for himself. Which I am happy to do,” he said, turning to Jack.

“Cool,” Jack said. “So that’s, what, $5 a jar, $6? How much for the bread?”

“What? Don’t be silly,” Bittle said, stunned. “I can’t charge him.”

“Why not?” Lardo asked, head tilted to the side.

“That’d be rude!”

Shitty snorted. “Bits, I think that’s small change for someone like him.”

“It was a gift for Ms. Martin,” Bittle said sternly. “So it would be a gift for Mr. Mashkov as well.”

“But you don’t know him,” Ransom argued, looking a little too disappointed at that fact. “And he hasn’t done anything for you, like favors or whatever. Obviously he should pay you, at least for the cost of supplies.”

Bittle huffed, looking worked up, so Jack squeezed his shoulder and said, “Bud, Mashkov wouldn’t see it as rude. George’s words were, and I quote, ‘Mashkov really wants to order some jam from Bittle.’”

This seemed to sway Bittle. “Well, if that’s what she said…But the bread is gonna be complimentary, got it?”

“Dude, you could sell this shit for a hundred bucks and people would buy it,” Ransom said around a mouthful of crackers and jam. “It’s that good.”

“Oh, stop,” Bittle said, frowning. “Let’s open presents. Ooh, wine.” He noticed his newly-filled glass and took it happily. “I made all’ve y’all food and stuff, in those baskets over there. Merry Christmas.”

Shitty collapsed on top of Bittle, nearly spilling his wine, and kissed his face all over with glee. Ransom and Holster immediately began stealing things from each other’s baskets, and Lardo stole from both of theirs while they were distracted. Jack leaned back and watched his friends, feeling calm and content and confident that he was right where he belonged.

A few days after Jack returned to Samwell from his winter break in Montreal, he received a text from an unknown number with a 401 area code. He opened it, curious, and grinned as he read the message.

From (401) 680-XXXX: Jack Zimmermann! George gave me ur number, hope that’s OK. A few friends would like to order jam. And bread! Will pay for bread this time )))

With a laugh, Jack pulled up Bittle’s number and slowly tapped out a text.

To Bittle: Alexei Mashkov says friends of his would like to order jam and bread. He emphasized that his friends would be paying for their bread.

The reply was almost instantaneous.

From Bittle: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😱😱😱

From Bittle: ARE YOU SERIOUS

To Bittle: Yeah, bud. Your jam is good.

From Bittle: Oh, it’s really not. But I’m glad people like it.

To Bittle: I’ll text him back and see what the order is. Do you think you could get him an ETA after that?

From Bittle: YESSIR! 😉

Jack stared at the winky-face emoji for an embarrassingly long time, wondering why his cheeks felt so hot and his heart so light.

It was a few weeks later that Jack received a large envelope. For a few minutes, he wondered why someone had sent him a huge wad of cash and several checks, then remembered the order he’d organized before classes started. Checking that he had time, Jack grabbed his bag and his laptop and headed out on the ten minute walk to the Haus, feeling happy as the chill of January nipped at his skin.

When he arrived, Bittle was sitting at the kitchen table studying, wrapped in a large sweatshirt he’d stolen from Jack before break. Underneath he wore what looked like two sweaters and a scarf wrapped around his neck.

“Mail call,” Jack said, throwing the envelope onto the table. Bittle looked at it, confused, then peeked inside.

“Oh, goodness,” he said, pulling out the wad of cash. “This is- this is too much-”

“It’s the amount we agreed on,” Jack said, sitting down across from Bittle. “Six dollars per jar, three for a loaf of bread. They ordered a lot of jam.”

“Oh,” Bittle said again, staring at the money like he’d never seen such a thing before. “Gosh.”

“People like homemade food, especially things that keep like jams and preserves,” Jack said, quoting the many market studies he’d...perused over break. “Because it’s homey but not something they would want to make themselves, the average, upper-middle-class consumer doesn’t mind spending a little extra money on this kind of quality good. Plus, your stuff is abnormally delicious, Bittle,” he added sternly. “If you’re willing to put in the work with this jam stuff, people will be willing to pay.”

By the end of his speech, Bittle’s mouth was agape. “Was that…?” He began, looking a little shellshocked. “Was that a business proposal?”

Jack shrugged. “Sort of.”

“Huh.” Bittle looked down at the money again. “Well.”

“I’ve gotta get to class,” Jack said, clapping Bittle on the back. “You think about it. And don’t spend all of that on butter, got it?”

Bittle rolled his eyes. “Bye, Jack. Oh! Wait! Try this before you go.”

Jack ended up five minutes late to class with an entire tupperware of shortbread cookies. No one, not even the professor, seemed to notice his tardiness after he offered to share with the whole class. It was a fair trade; there were always more cookies to be found when Bittle was around.

“But what would we call it?” Bittle asked on Valentine’s Day as he mixed a new batch of blueberry jam for Mashkov (“Call me Tater!”), Robinson, St. Martin, George, and several people whom Jack believed to be players on teams other than the Falcs. “Also, do you think they’d mind if I sent samples of my apple butter? I made too much and there’s no way the boys’ll eat it all…”

“I don’t know, ‘Bittle’s Kitchen’?” Jack said, sketching out a rough business model on the back of a Jiffy Lube receipt. “And I think Tater would ask you to marry him if you sent him free apple butter.”

“It would be a partnership, we’re not putting my name in there without yours next to it.” Bittle sighed, mouth pursed as he fell into thought. “Are there any good jam puns? ‘This is My Jam?’”

“Door jam, paper jam, traffic jam,” Jack listed off. “Jam It.”

“Funny,” Bittle said drily.

Jack laughed. “I don’t think you should limit yourself. What if everyone loves your apple butter more than your jam?”

“You bite your tongue,” Bittle said, waving his spoon at Jack. “My jam recipe has been perfected over several years, the ultimate hybrid between my mama’s recipe and my Aunt Judy’s, with my own flare, obviously. There ain’t any jam tastier than this north of the Mason-Dixon.”

“Sure,” Jack said easily, grinning up at Bittle. “I still like ‘Bittle’s Kitchen.’”

“Of course you do,” Bittle sighed. “Do your parents want any of this, by the way? I’ll probably have leftovers.”

“My parents want to adopt you,” Jack said, returning to his doodling. “So, yes. Anything and everything you’ve got.”

“Tim Gunn wants how many things of apple butter before his brunch next month?”

“Maman says a dozen.”

“And no jam?”

“Jam’s not in this season. Apparently he likes apples.”

“What is even happening right now?!”

“Also papa says hi.”

“...tell him I say hi back.”

<<So Mario told me that Sid asked him about jam,>> Papa said in lieu of a greeting during their monthly phone call. This call had been one of his parents’ stipulations before they agreed to pay for grad school. At first it had made Jack feel like a child who needed to be monitored, but halfway through his second semester he found he enjoyed talking to his parents.

<<I’ll put him on the waitlist. You have an order or just an inquiry?>> Jack said, grabbing a pen and notepad from his bedside table.

Papa just laughed and said, <<Can I give him your phone number?>>

<<Sure,>> Jack said. <<That’ll simplify things. Now tell me about that gala Maman’s been working on all month.>>

“What do you think of ‘Haus and Home?’”

Jack sat up straighter, eyes burning with fatigue. It was finals and he and Bittle had been working at the library together for hours. This was the first thing either of them had said in almost as long.

“For what?” Jack asked, rubbing at his temples. It was probably time to pack up and head home. The Haus was closer, and he wondered if Bittle would let him crash on the couch if he put a towel down first.

“The jam...thing,” Bittle said hesitantly. He looked as tired as Jack felt. “Y’know, because this all happens in the Haus kitchen and it’s been our home for years now and it just feels...right.”

“I like it,” Jack said, a slow grin spreading across his face. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s good.”

“Good,” Bittle said, meeting Jack’s smile with his own. “Alright, let’s head off to bed. I think I’m about to pass out.”

“Okay,” Jack said, closing his laptop and shoveling books back into his bag. “Can I-?”

“Do you want herpes?” Bittle asked crossly. “Because that’ll be least of your worries if you sleep on that couch.”

“Bittle.”

“I will walk you home, you big baby,” Bittle said, standing and packing his things. “C’mon.”

Bittle did end up walking Jack home. He also ended up sleeping on Jack’s loveseat, covered in the throw blanket his mother had sent Jack for his birthday. Jack smiled down at the sight of Bittle passed out on his couch, dead to the world, and wandered into his bedroom to write one last email before crashing himself.

“What?”

Bittle stared at the computer, both hands over his mouth.

Though he’d lived with Jack over the summer, working full-time for the admissions office, Bittle had been kept completely in the dark about this particular project.

“Lardo and I have been working on this logo on and off since May,” Jack said, grinning at Bittle actually leaned over to stroke the laptop screen. “I paid her, of course, so it’s kind of...official.”

“Oh, my gosh…” Bittle whispered, then Jack found himself pulled into a tight hug. “Oh, this is too wonderful! Jack, this is amazing, this is-! Oh!” He buried his face in Jack’s chest. “We have a logo.”

“We do.”

“A real logo!”

“Yep.”

“You know what this means?” Bittle asked, looking straight up at Jack.

“What?” He asked, all too aware of how close their faces were.

“Lardo’s a professional designer!” He cried, grinning widely. “She designed a logo for money -- she’s a professional! This is so exciting.”

“Bittle.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said softly, pressing his cheek to Jack’s shoulder. “Are we really doing this?”

“I think we are.”

“Wow. I...wow.”

“Yeah. Seconded.”

Bittle’s senior year was busy, full of ups and downs. He was captain and led the team to victory at the Frozen Four, something that filled Jack with so much pride he thought he might burst. Bittle also came out to his parents, which had been a mixed bag of emotions, but things slowly seemed to be heading in a positive direction. There had been the long, drawn-out horror of Bittle trying to write a thesis, but after many sleepless nights he got through it. Professor Atley would be receiving a lifetime supply of free Haus & Home goods for all she did to aid Bittle, of that Jack was certain.

Jack’s last year of his MBA went pretty smoothly. He worked part-time in the sales department of a video streaming company in Boston proper, which was challenging in its own ways, but Jack found he really did enjoy managing accounts and developing sales strategies in tandem with the marketing team. He learned more in that job that he had in his actual MBA program, he felt, but both were preparing him to take this leap with Bittle. As scary as it was, Jack felt calm and confident in the risk he was about to take. Everything seemed easier when Bittle was by his side.

His birthday/graduation present to Bittle came in two parts: the first was a notebook filled with two-bedroom apartment listings all around the area, keeping close to their friends and within their budget; the second was a URL written down inside a sparkly card shaped like a mortarboard.

“Jack…” Bittle breathed, clutching at Jack’s arm as he pulled the website up on his laptop -- one of the few things he had yet to pack, though graduation was only a week away. “This is…”

“I’m sorry I didn’t include you in the creative process,” Jack said sheepishly. “I just wanted it to be a surprise. I gave Dex and Chowder a bunch of your pinterest boards in preparation.”

Bittle smiled up at him with wide, shining eyes. “Jack, it’s beautiful. Dex and Chowder made this?”

“They did. We’re almost there, bud.”

Bittle hugged him tight. “Okay, mister, I love these surprises, but no more decisions without me, okay? Ugh, I could stare at this website forever. Look at it. Jack, it’s ours. This whole...thing is ours.”

“Yeah,” Jack said. “Happy Birthday.”

“Happy Graduation,” Bittle said, raising the cup of beer someone had handed him in the midst of the party that was raging downstairs. “To the future.”

“The future,” Jack repeated. “And the present.”

“Was that a pun?” Bittle asked. “I’m disowning you if that was a pun.”

“Let’s get back downstairs,” Jack said, wrapping an arm around Bittle’s shoulders. “And enjoy being college students a little longer.”

“Sounds good,” Bittle said, leaning against Jack’s side. He stayed there for the rest of the party, and Jack’s face hurt from smiling so much by the end.

[My writing tag]

[The Non-NHL!Jack AU]

[My online novel, The Discourt Knife]

#cruel jam empire au #check please!#anna writes things #jesus this got long #also didn't include everything i wanted lo #*lol #pre-relationship

560 notes · View notes

newtothewaywardparty · 6 years

Text

The Ghost of an Idea 3

Read Stave One: Bobby’s Ghost, Part 1

Read Stave Two: Bobby’s Ghost, Part 2

Stave Two: The First of the Three Spirits, Part 1

When Dean awoke, it was so dark he couldn’t make out the rickety TV stand in the ratty motel room. He blindly fumbled on the nightstand for his phone and checked the time, his eyes squinting against the blue glare of the screen.

To his astonishment, it read 11:58 p.m. Dean had passed out around two in the morning. He swiped his screen to wake it up, checking the date next to the time. Had he actually passed out and slept all the way through the day and into the next night? No, the date still read December 24.

Dean stumbled out of bed and groped his way to the window, pulling aside the curtains, upsetting a cloud of dust that rained cigarette ash smell into the room, clouding his vision and making him cough. When the fine powder settled, Dean almost shrieked. Jo Harvelle stood just outside the window.

She stood still as a statue, unblinking yet unmenacing. Her hair was long and golden, carefully arranged in gentle waves. Mindless of the cold, she wore not her usual hunter’s jeans but rather a long, white sundress, the kind Dean knew chicks sometimes wore to outdoor music festivals. The dress was cinched with a southwestern-style silver concho belt, studded with turquoise. Her well-worn shit-kickers completed the ensemble, Dean noted with a small smile. You could take the girl out of hunting, but you couldn’t take the hunter out of the girl.

The weirdest part was, she seemed to glow from the inside out with a strange light, making her appear both younger and older than when Dean had known her at the Roadhouse and, later, on hunts together. The light emanated strongest from her head, which was just weird. Dean held his arm up like a visor to protect his hungover eyes as he tried to see which version (childlike or ancient) she really was, but it made him dizzy and sick. He was going to blame the sherry.

Dean pulled the window open. Let’s kick this in the ass, he thought. “So you’re Bobby’s first messenger?” he asked.

“That’s right, sweetheart” Jo replied, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past.” She spread her arms wide. She always had a flair for the dramatic, Dean reflected.

“Can you maybe-” Dean waved his other hand to indicate her head, shining like a beacon in the dark parking lot.

“Fine,” she sighed, producing a straw cowgirl hat with a colored beaded band from somewhere and placing it on her head. The light dampened considerably so that Dean could look at her through narrowed eyelids. “But it’s not my fault you can’t look at it.” She pouted a bit, and looked every bit the young woman she had been all those years ago at the Roadhouse in Nebraska. Dean shook that memory away, trying to clear his head.

“Uh,” Dean began. Articulate as always. “So what’s the game plan, here?” The frigid air was beginning to make him shiver, even fully dressed as he had fallen asleep. He grabbed his own arms to stop his shivering.

Jo gave him a lopsided smile. “C’mon Dean. I know you like to pretend to be dumber than a post, but I know you’ve at least seen Scrooged.”

Dean shrugged noncomittally. He was a huge Bill Murray fan. Of course he had seen it, but he wasn’t going to give anything up easily. He was even more reluctant to admit he had seen A Muppet Christmas Carol back at the bunker with Cas. They had sat together on Dean’s bed, comfortable with beer and Funyuns. Dean’s heart clenched as he remembered fielding Cas’ questions. “How can a Pig and a Frog be romantically attracted to each other? How do they reproduce? This movie is extremely scientifically inaccurate, Dean.”

“Let’s go, Dean” Jo said, now seeming older again, confident and immune to Dean’s bullshit, holding out her hand through the window. “We’re burning time here.”

Dean took her hand, a little unsure how she expected him to scramble through the windowsill, high above the ancient radiator. Once they touched, though, he found himself floating, perfectly warm, through the air with her, flying above the Western Kansas countryside. The highway stretched out below them, and Dean could see wind turbines like a field of white sunflowers, their red air safety lights blinking at the top. It was like looking down onto a field of twinkling red Christmas lights.

“I can’t believe you Superman’d me!” Dean shouted over the rushing wind. He couldn’t help grinning widely as they soared over the Flint Hills, the lack of moonlight making their rolling curves seem sharper and deeper.

Jo laughed, a childish bubbling sound. “Can You Read My Mind?” She intoned in mock-serious tones.

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re no Lois Lane, Joanna Beth.” He glanced down to see Mount Oread speeding toward them, the red-tiled roofs of the limestone University buildings visible even in the gloom. “Hey, this is Lawrence!” he exclaimed in recognition. “I grew up near here,” he said, even as they glided over his old elementary school, the playground where he had first learned to swing, pumping his little legs forward and back. It felt like flying. Dean experienced an unfamiliar physical sensation, one which he was unaccustomed to feeling, except on rare occasions of peace with Sam, and of course whenever he and Cas shared companionable moments, like when they had worked that case in Dodge City. He felt light in a way that had nothing to do with the magic of soaring through the air with Jo.

Jo steered them lower until they almost hit the roofs of the houses on the suburban block. “Do you know where you are?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. “Sam and I actually worked a case here about ten years back.” He blinked and somehow they were in the living room. He would have been more panicked but time travel had kind of becoming routine for him. Nevertheless, he was still amazed, taking in all the detail his memory had forgotten over the years. An afghan of multicolored granny squares adorned the avocado green and harvest gold plaid couch. A modest tree, draped with tinsel, stood by the window. Dean’s eyes fell to the carnage of empty boxes and wrapping paper under it.

“Oh wow! My Big Wheel!” He ran a hand over the red, yellow, and blue tricycle. “I totally forgot about this! And my G.I. Joe, man, he was so cool.” Dean picked up the action figure (no, it was totally not a doll, thankyouverymuch) and made shooting noises with its little gun. He turned, dropping it, as his eyes widened. “Oh, whoah, I totally remember this-” He started toward the object of his attention when he was interrupted by a man walking into the room.

He wore wide-leg light-wash jeans cinched with a brown belt with a large buckle. His western-style plaid shirt was tight with pearlescent buttons. His hair was shaggy (almost as long as Sam’s now), his face clean-shaven, but Dean would know him anywhere.

“Dad?” Dean breathed. His chest hitched. His Dad did not acknowledge them in any way. Jo placed a reassuring hand on Dean’s arm.

“They can’t hear or see us” she said, a too-kind expression on her face.

“Dean! Get in here, son. I found what I was looking for” John Winchester called. For the first time, Dean noticed the cardboard album cover in John’s hands. A small boy, little more than a toddler, careened into the living room, rushing into his dad’s arms with a squeal. He had a blonde bowl haircut, chunky cheeks, and brown corduroy jeans. Dean flinched, instinctively guarding against John’s reaction. His father only gathered the boy up in a bear hug and roared.

“All right, little monster,” John said, after setting young Dean down on the braided rug. “I want to show you how to use this new tool.” Dean’s mouth fell open as the man indicated the toy adult Dean had been wanting to get his hands on, an orange plastic Fisher-Price record player in its own portable case, designed for young hands.

With patience Dean had never seen John Winchester use anytime in his conscious memory, his father explained, step-by-step to his child self how to carefully place the vinyl on the turntable, turn it on, and place the needle. The album in use was John Denver’s Poems, Prayers, & Promises. After completing his explanation, John kindly coached young Dean through the steps himself, praising the child when he did something correctly, and gently correcting him when he forgot the order of steps or was too rough. Preschool Dean beamed, eyes gleaming, when “Sunshine on my Shoulders” began playing from the player’s tiny speakers. John patted him on the shoulder, silently approving.

“Boys!” came a voice from the kitchen. “Supper’s almost ready.” Dean’s mother appeared at the doorway, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. Mary’s skin was flushed from the heat of cooking. She was lovely and warm, just as Dean remembered. “Go get washed up now” she said, in a not-at-all-stern tone, putting her hands on her hips, her belly heavy with Sam, who would be born in the spring. Dean drank her in greedily. This was Christmas 1982. Dean was just three years old. This was his last Christmas with his mom. Their last Christmas as a family. Before…

Jo interrupted him. “What’s that on your cheek, Dean?”

Dean sniffed “Sweat. It’s too damn hot in here.” Jo pretended not to see him discreetly swipe at his eyes with the back of a sleeve. He resumed watching as his small family gathered around the oak table piled high with ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and of course, his mom’s homemade apple pie. Little Dean sat in a green molded plastic booster, eating enthusiastically with his Bert and Ernie and Big Bird silverware, his parents chatting happily on either side. Dean shook his head. “Poor kid,” he uttered under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jo. She raised an eyebrow knowingly.

“I just…” Dean struggled to find the words. I barely remember this, but at least I had it once. Sam never had it all, even though I tried my best. Now it’s Jack’s first Christmas, and…” he shrugged, stuffing his hand in his pockets. “I just wish I had maybe stuck around; shown him a good one. Like this.”

Jo smiled thoughtfully and waved her hand. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand” she said brightly, and suddenly they were in a different living room. Dean recognized the tan velour couch instantly. This was Sonny’s farmhouse, the boy’s home where he had spent a couple of months in 1995 after he had gotten nabbed for stealing food for Sam. Teen-aged him sat on the couch, sucking face with Robin.

Dean whirled on Jo. “What the hell? This wasn’t even at Christmas!”

“Your history didn’t leave a plethora of choices. We had to make do with what we had.” Jo shot back, defensively.

“We?” inquired Dean.

Jo gave him a sharp smile. “When Bobby Singer calls, I answer.” She shrugged. “Plus, I’m not gonna pass up the chance to work one last case with a Winchester.” She winked at him, then nudged his arm. “Shhh, or you’ll miss it.”

They turned back to the teenagers making out on the couch. They were discussing the upcoming school dance. “I’m not going anywhere, Robin.” Grown-up Dean winced at those words. He knew how much he meant them at the time. How quickly he’d forget them once John showed up with Sam in tow. Sam would come first, before anything else, for a long time after that.

“She was your first love.” Jo said, a soft look on her face. Dean’s face didn’t leave young Robin. He nodded.

“You never loved anyone like this again.” stated Jo. She looked older now, tired and sad.

Dean whipped his head toward her. “I have so!” he retorted.

“Not like this,” said Jo. “Not in that whole, pure, unguarded way.” The scene around them shifted. Sixteen-year-old Dean was tying his tie over that dorky short-sleeved dress shirt, and Sonny was telling him his father was here to take him away.

“This was the moment, Dean.” Jo said, voice low and deliberate. “The moment you discovered giving your heart to someone could mean getting it broken.” Dean’s tracked his young self helplessly as he went to the window, looking out at John and Sam. Followed the boy, he was just a kid, as he shook hands, brave face through tears with Sonny. Jo continued: “You always held yourself back after this. Cassie, Lisa, anyone else; you never really let them in.”

Dean grit his teeth and whirled on Jo. “Good talk, Russ. Next stop?” Jo touched his hand and they stood on the shore of a lake Dean had never wanted to see again in his life or any other. He barely had time to draw a breath before his eyes landed on Cas, blade sticking through his check, blue light escaping his mouth and eyes. Shit.

Read Stave Two: The First of the Three Spirits, Part 2

#supernatural #spn #fanfiction #futurefic #Sam Winchester #John Winchester #Dean Winchester #Mary Winchester #Jo Harvelle #A Christmas Carol #Dickens Crossover #destiel #deancas #Cas isn't really in this yet #don't worry we'll get there #it's a lot longer than I planned #yes I know it's not Christmastime anymore who cares?#I'm the same age as Dean can you tell?#1980s christmas

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hale-of-stiles-heart · 7 years

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damn it, here I'm again: how about sterek + (those are all so perfect dear lord someone send help) "I picked up what I thought was a stray on the side of the road last night and it turns out you’re a werewolf. Um. Can I offer you some pancakes?"

This was such a fun prompt to work with! (also on ao3)

Stiles had a history with strays.

Ever since he could walk, toddling around the Stilinski home as fast as his tiny little legs could carry him, he had an affinity for animals. More specifically, taking in any animal in need.

Living in a residential neighborhood adjacent to the local woods meant that he had never been lacking in that department. He couldn't throw a stone around their neighborhood without finding a baby bird that had fallen from its nest or a dog that had wandered out of its yard.

In the creek behind their house, buried in the woods by a groove of black willows and white alders, he used to catch redwood salamanders and Cascades frogs. He would wade knee deep into the water in search of the sneaky amphibians, never caring that his pants got soaked.

He would keep them in an old fish tank, arranging algae covered rocks in the water of the terrarium so his new pets could spend time on land. He used to spend hours digging up worms in the backyard so he could feed his amphibians.

Of course, they eventually died — wild animals weren't meant to be in captivity, after all — and Stiles had been devastated. He had cried for hours, until his eyes were red and puffy and his throat was sore.

A few months later, he found an abandoned squirrel pup in their front yard. There had been no nest in sight, nor any mother squirrel searching for her lost baby.

The pup was cold to the touch and Stiles refused to risk letting the pup freeze to death while waiting for its mother. John had reluctantly agreed and allowed Stiles to adopt the squirrel.

For the next several weeks, he dutifully nursed the squirrel pup with an eyedropper full of puppy milk. He set up a nest for it inside, composed of old t-shirts and ripped socks that made a perfect bed for the tiny pup.

It had been a bittersweet day when Claudia had informed Stiles that it was time for the squirrel to leave. They had released it in the backyard where it ran right up a nearby sycamore tree, chattering away as though saying goodbye.

After the squirrel came a blind kitten they found wandering through the neighborhood, mewling pitifully. Stiles had snuck the kitten into his room and cared for it under his parents' noses for weeks until his mom went looking for something in his room and stumbled onto his little secret.

Unfortunately, with Stiles in elementary school while both of his parents worked full-time, they just didn't have the time or resources to care for a special needs cat. But luckily there was an older woman who ran a cat sanctuary a few towns over.

After taking the cat in, she had assured Stiles that he could visit anytime he wanted. And he did, his mom driving him over every other weekend.

Next came an entire litter of puppies that he begged to keep, only for his dad to painstakingly explain why adopting six Tibetan mastiffs was not a very good idea. And after that was the mountain lion cub that he somehow found on one of his exploration through the woods.

John nearly had a heart attack when he came home from a double shift to find his son cuddling the baby of a two hundred pound killing machine.

He then had to inform Stiles that a mountain lion was not a pet. Park rangers had been called in and the cub was safely returned to its den for its mother find.

But Stiles' affinity for taking in strays never wavered. Even as he got older.

In high school, he worked at the vet clinic with his friend Scott, just so he could help out any animals in need. It was better than working some crappy retail job like many of his classmates.

And it was a great reprieve from the everyday stress of high school. If he was ever feeling particularly stressed, he would just call up Deaton and volunteer for an additional shift.

Basically, his job consisted of bottle feeding kittens and doing trial introductions for potential pet adopters. It was a pretty sweet gig apart from the occasional bittersweet moments when animals were adopted.

Even after he moved out of Beacon Hills to attend Stanford he made a point of dedicating his time to animals, getting a job at the local pet store just outside of town. So it was no surprise to anyone that while on break in Beacon Hills, he didn't hesitate to pull over to check on what looked like a stray dog standing on the side of the road.

He had been driving in from Stanford, having enough days off for Thanksgiving break to warrant the drive back to Beacon Hills. Drumming his fingers against Roscoe's steering wheel while imagining the amazing meal his dad would be making in a few days, Stiles had been absorbed in his own thoughts.

Until he noticed a dark shape in the shoulder of the forest road leading into town. His interest immediately piqued, he had pulled over to get a better look at whatever the dark shape was.

Lo and behold, it was a dog. A stray by the looks of it.

The dog was huge, probably some sort of wolf dog hybrid that someone had purchased on a whim then realized the complications of the hybrid. Its coat was jet black with a few grizzled spots around its muzzle.

Fortunately, the dog didn't seem undernourished or injured in any way. And it wasn't wearing a collar let alone a tag bearing an address or phone number.

But what really caught Stiles' attention was the dog's eyes. He hadn't thought dogs could have hazel eyes with that much green in them, captivated by the specks of gold and rivers of bluish silver in the canine's irises.

His heart instantly captured, Stiles had coaxed the dog closer with a few soft words and careful touches. He had been glad to find that the dog was a gentle giant, docile and sweet as Stiles scratched it behind its ears.

With plans to take the dog to the vet clinic first thing in the morning to check for an implanted ID chip, Stiles had corralled the dog into his Jeep and continued his drive home. His dad hadn't even bothered to act surprised when Stiles showed up on the front doorstep with a stray in tow.

But, of course, because Stiles' life could never be normal for more than a few months at a time, it turned out that the stray he had picked up was much more than meets the eye. He found that out the hard way the next morning.

After a wondrous night curled up in bed where he actually got the recommended eight hours of sleep, Stiles woke early in the morning craving pancakes. But not just any pancakes; his mother's famous pancakes.

They were fluffier than a cloud and had just a hint of vanilla, making them perfect for any kind of syrup under the sun from traditional maple to boysenberry. His mom had always made them on special occasions, especially holidays, which made them perfect for Thanksgiving break.

Once he brushed his teeth and took care of some other hygienic needs, he tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen, careful not to wake his dad. He hurried past the living room couch where the stray dog he had picked up had spent the night, too preoccupied with his thoughts to pause and greet the dog.

He was in the middle of flipping pancakes, adding an extra bit of flair the way his mom had taught him, when he heard the telltale pad of bare feet on the kitchen tiles. Beaming, he looked over his shoulder, cheerfully greeting, "Mornin', pops— Uh... You're not my dad..."

He was pretty much stating the obvious since the tall, bearded, naked man standing in the kitchen was clearly not his father. The aforementioned bearded, naked man said as much, simply stating, "Uh, no."

"Are-Are we being robbed?" Stiles asked, turning the heat on the stove down and tightening his grip on the metal spatula in his hand in case they really were being robbed. "Because, I gotta say, this is fucking weird, man. You're not even wearing pants."

The mystery man's eyes widened almost comically as he tensed and rushed to cup his hands over his crotch. His cheeks flushed, drawing Stiles' attention back to his eyes. His eyes that were oddly familiar.

Hazel-green with gold and silver. Holy shit.

"Shit, you're a werewolf, aren't you?" Stiles groaned, feeling his own face flush. He had practically kidnapped someone! Because he thought they were a stray!

The yet to be introduced man just nodded, still looking embarrassed as all hell. Stiles let out a sigh, "Keep an eye on the pancakes. I'll be right back."

He waited for the werewolf to nod before he slipped out of the kitchen and back upstairs to the laundry room where he rifled around for a clean pair of pajama pants. After finding his baggiest pair, he hurried back downstairs where he was met with an eyeful of the werewolf's firm ass and the tattoo between his shoulder blades.

"Uh, here. These should fit ya," Stiles announced after clearing his throat, holding out the red pajama pants that just so happened to be patterned with white dog bones. Turning his head to give Mr. No Name some privacy, he wandered back over to the stovetop where his pancakes were still cooking. "I'm Stiles, by the way."

"Derek," the Sheriff's voice returned, managing to make Stiles' cheeks flush even deeper. He craned his neck to take a peek at his dad who was embracing the now only half naked werewolf, a friendly smile on his face. "Son, this is Derek Hale, my new deputy."

"Of course it is," Stiles mumbled, hanging his head as he poked at one of the pancakes with the spatula. Sparing another glance over his shoulder, he watched Derek and his dad plop down at the kitchen table.

"So... Can I offer you some pancakes?" Stiles asked, meeting Derek's mesmerizing eyes.

"Yeah, why not," Derek answered smoothly, sending Stiles a sly wink when the Sheriff wasn't looking.

It may have been one of the most embarrassing moments of his life but it made one hell of a 'how I met your father' story.

#sterek #au #first meetings #meet cute #pre-slash #full shift derek #werewolves are known #awkwardness #embarrassed stiles #naked derek #because reasons #my fic #fic #xamberry

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survivorjordanpines · 6 years

Text

Episode 1 Pt 1: I’m Gonna Snatch her Weave so Hard she’ll be Seeing Stars. - Charlotte

I'M ON THE PENIS TRIBE WHAT THE FUCK

LMFAOOOOO THE FACT THAT REGAN WAS WILLING TO RETURN TO A SEASON HOSTED BY J O R D A N P I N E S IS HILARIOUS I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY All jokes aside, it's great to be back! So far I have met Lily and Amanda, who are new to me, and then there's Chrissa....yikes. I voted her out of Wikia Main ORG, but I think we've patched up things. I get Jack back, yes! More to come soon!

MISS KEISHA....MISS KEISHA!!!! Oh my fuckin god shes fuckin dead

That Adam on the other tribe sucks. I don’t like anything about him but especially not his hair. He seems like someone who gets really upset about ice cream sundaes

I'm shook Jordan casted Regan

I AM SO OVERWHELMED MY TRIBE IS SO ICONIC WHAT

First confessional of the season here we go. First impressions of my tribe...... Charlotte: Who? Ive heard she’s an icon but she also hosts the same game as L.A. Karen: icon that I think likes me, Alliance Member, probably gonna be my #1 Jaiden: crazy lunatic flop who will hopefully overcast myself being a crazy lunatic flop Regan: female jaiden David: pretty sure he has a beef with me rip L.A.: hosts a game with Charlotte, I’ll probably target them Adam: heard he’s an icon, don’t know why but that makes me scared I can’t remember who the other 2 are so they’re probably irrelevant

I’m here and I’m ready to party! I’m sad Sambrina isn’t on my tribe she seems pretty cool. That Ryan guy can suck an egg

Literally why did I do this. Jordan Pines better love me forever. #regrets

So like we got some pretty iconic people on this season like Chrissa. I love that girl. Anyways, my tribe seems like a good bunch of people and I am already predicting Charlotte doing well. I need to work with her so that I can get far as well then cut her off cause from what I know that girl is good at this game. These people seem like a good group because I am already getting messages from them and not to them. So I think it will be really good to be here. Having two tribe go to tribal is ugly because now he HAVE to win. I wish Adam the best of luck and will not blame him if we fail. Good luck to myself!

I hate writing confessionals so TBH I probably won't do very many. In the past I've always played as a very loyal player and I think that's what people will expect from me in this game. Ha, jokes on them, I'm here for blood and I can't wait to bathe in it. Playing loyal got me eighth place the last time I played TS and I don't plan on flopping again - actually, that's probably not true, but let's pretend I actually stand a chance. I think my tribe is alright but we're going to have some stiff competition. A lot of the "threats" from past games are on the nahte and nadroj tribe so the fact that only one tribe can win immunity is a little inconvenient. I'm also sad that RTP isn't on my tribe. His intro video was just fun. I need to make it to the first tribe swap or the merge so I can play with Ryan! But anyways, let's do first impressions because people - for some reason - care about those. Adam: I don't know him and I haven't heard of him either. I liked his intro though so he seems like he could be someone fun to play with in this game. I guess we'll find out more but he had some good ideas for the flag so - phew, I think he'll be a good addition to the tribe. David: Oh look, another person I haven't heard of or know. I have a feeling this is going to be a trend. He seems nice enough? It's been a day, Joyce, I don't know these kids yet. Kage: Alright so Kage and I were the first people in the group, so we had a chance to talk a wee bit before we got the rest of our tribe. I like him TBH. We never got a chance to play together in any previous games so I think this could be interesting. Karen: I HAVE ONLY HEARD NICE THINGS ABOUT KAREN. I'm excited to see if we can work together in this game but I am a little worried because I think she'd be more likely to work with LA than me in this game. What's that? I'm worried someone wants to work with LA? lol. Cage: We haven't had a chance to talk much but I think he might be GMT so maybe that'll happen this morning?? IDK the wiki says he's in the US so maybe I'm wrong. Regan: Of fucking course Regan is on my tribe. I love Regan, don't get me wrong, but "Fought" in the VL and she rage quit before the cast reveal. LMAO oops. Here's hoping she doesn't vote me out for pointing out that she was wrong about Taylor Swift's live performance dates. I hate that I even knew enough to contradict her wrong statements. Ugh. I hate me. Jaiden: I am actually so excited to have Jaiden on my tribe. I just hosted him on Themyscira so I kinda think I know how his brain works?? He likes to be chaotic and make big moods and you can never trust him as far as you can throw him. I like to think that he might work with me, just because we do get along, but you never know. Jaiden is a wild card. If I decide I want to play messy, he's a great guy to do it with. LA: Bitch needs to go. Seriously. There's absolutely no way the two of us can work together in this game because it puts a huge target on our backs. If we lose, I lowkey want to campaign to send her ass home. It'll only help my game. Rafael: I was so hyped to see Rafael on my tribe. I just watched him play in IOS and was annoyed I didn't draft him because his VL confessionals are hilarious. I really hope we are able to work together in this game. That's my goal. Also can you believe Jordan threw all of the Geminis on one tribe? Fuck, we're going to murder each other. I love it.

Hilo! Im back for another season..aka my 6th time. I swear I dont love myself but im only here to have fun so whatever. 30 PPL? and im not?!? on the icons tribe!??! okie whatever idk any of those irrelevant ppl anyways..like who the fuck are these ppl? (king andreas ur not included) anyways evaluation time because i love reading what ppl say about me so im sure ppl feel the same way MY TRIBE: Allison-we did a tribe call last night and she literally rubbed me the wrong way. How can you be that annoying? I seriously dont know. And it was just her and alex and jordan and i on the call at one point and she said something rude just as i was telling them bye for the night. Like literally leave? Amanda-We played in Maldives but i dont really count that because we were on the opposite tribe and i was second boot. I mean Im trying to connect with her ...but nothing bad to say about her. But also nothing good? ya feel me? Chrissa- Idk what to say about her :c sorry girl Drew- oh drew, we have such a weird relationship. Weve played in sides and mains together and for the first 3 times ive snatched him and now hes returning the favor. If I remember correctly were actually even now. BUT IM DYING TO PLAY WITH HIM AND HAVE HIM BE LOYAL. Lets be real I cant send him home as long as there is a redemption island fkjsdhfkdshf Jack- Andreas was his mentor in whatever shitty game steffen hosted? so idk if i can use that to my advantage or not. Liam- mY LITERAL SON! I LOVE HIM. After i forced rocks in india and he left i felt so bad so i will literally try to save him as much as possible and ill be super loyal to him. my love LIAM I LOVE U Lily-LOL regan hates her so if u think im not going to use this to my advantage ur so wrong. I love her she is so adorably cute. I want to keep her as a pet. And it makes me happy regan hates her ahahhahahahah. Madison- again..sorry idk her? Nick- WHO? The I hate jp tribe (also can we talk about who is on this tribe...jordan what...are u trying to do ...all these players are messy?) anyways Adam- irrelevant Charlotte-literal queen/ i hosted her before and i adore her so much David- DAVID ROBB I LOVE U Gage- ok but what kinda...name? Jaiden- JORDAN PINES WHY WOUIKLD U DPO THIS TO ME? WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ANYONE? LET ME LIVE! hes crazy . pls let him live a short life Kage- hes so funny, and hes also messy so like....omg? but i deadass have him under control so i love that bitch Karen- can i just say shes so cute and we met in person and shes cuter in person. Fucking 10/10 would bang. I love her so much. But she never makes it to swap so L.A- literally love. I hosted them as well Raffy- who are u? Regan-ok but like shes obsessed with me and i think in like...a friend way idk hopefully in a friendway lool i think im the only one who can control her so this is going to be fun if she lasts and i get to play w her Icons tribe Andreas-LITERALLY MY BESTFRIEND EVER LITERALLY I LOVE HIM ANDREAS WE ARE CO WINNING I LOVE U SO MUCH!! the rest of the icon tribe can suck it because literally yall are all ugly and just really fucking irrelevant to me? like why are u icons? idk you????????? uhuh

I love this cast, holy shit. Being on the same tribe with Char is gonna be hard, people know we are friends and we have some of our Themyscira kids in here so this will be interesting. We already know we're gonna be gunning for each other at some point. KAREN (heart eyes) I also REALLY wanna work with Jaiden tbh

I love frogs and I currently am aligned with my whole tribe except for two people.

6th time.... Holy Kawolski. This time around I'm just going to try to make it as far as I can. I'm taking it one day at a time and not focusing too long term. So im on the Legends/Icons tribe and I feel out of place. 7 of these people played TS before me, and I still feel like the new kid on the block.... isn't that crazy? I also see a lot of familiar faces in this cast so I'll have to deal with that eventually. Right now I think my struggle is theirs so many old school people that all know each other. Who thought it was a good idea putting Ari, RTP, Jessica, and Casey on the same tribe ??? I think I wanna try to form some sort of alliance with them though. If all of us who played a bunch of times can band together then I think it may be better for all of us. We shall be targeted eventually, we shouldn't go after each other on top of that. I think the only person who might have an issue with me is RTP. I got him out in Easter, but this time around I understand how he likes to play so I need to cater around that. No personal talk - just game. Let's rocket.

The tribe seems to be very connected through the first challenge. I've been talking a lot with Kage and he seems like a potential ally for me. Throughout the day, the tribe has spoken with each other in the tribe chat and sadly I was not able to participate a lot because of school. The people most in it were Karen, Regan, and Adam. I sense that they could be working together down the line if this behavior keeps up. I want to try and continue communications with Kage as well as trying to get on Charlotte's good side.

Kage wants to work with Charlotte, LA, and I in an alliance. I think this will work well for us in the long run. He also wants to have one other person in this alliance they the two of us control so that if it were to come down to it, it would be 3 vs. 2 with us having the majority. I feel that this is a good plan, but we lack the fifth person. I hope I can try and find someone or Kage does. Pray and hope! I am talking with LA more though so I hope this establishes the groundwork for us to be allies.

Oh man, oh man, oh man. Looks like I'm putting my faith in Sarah to be a power duo. I love her to death, I really do, but I really do hope she means what she says and doesn't try to cut me loose early.

I cant believe I might have to align with R*gan but thats what it looks like its coming down to. Karen is my favorite minion. I love Gage, Everyone else idk ha

ok so my tribe......... has the WORST ideas for this flag and like adam was gonna do it????/on??/paint????/ this tribe is already selfdestructing anyway as much as I hate jp like I don't want a flag with us murdering him??? ugh anyway I think I have an ides but itll be blandish

@the flag making challenge and our flag specifically The supportive tribemate in me: https://media.giphy.com/media/l3JDFJncJHteKIYzm/giphy.gif The pessimist in me: https://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/skirt-vintage-mean-girls.gif?w=650 The try-hard comp queen in me: https://media.giphy.com/media/115nGRivk9zjkA/giphy.gif The realist in me, seeing RTP on the icons tribe and knowing I'll never make something better anyway: https://media.giphy.com/media/Hb0mP3CTazPmU/giphy.gif Me today: https://media.thedailytouch.com/2014/11/shaun-dead-gif-pub.gif

So, I like my tribe, they're all very nice people. BUT! They are very weak willed. Like I feel like I've got to kindergarten teacher them into getting work done. Lots of exclamation points and happy encouragement. It's only because you've got us doing this stupid arts and crafts challenge. Mr. "Too Lazy to Make the Flags Himself". I like Charlotte the best, she's being very helpful. Karen annoys me kind of but she's the one with photoshop so I need her. Kage is cool but he doesn't seem to have anything to offer to the challenge. Same with a bunch of them really. Like everyone is very friendly and excited but no one really offers up any ideas or help. LA gave us the good idea about word art but didn't really back it up with anything so me and Charlotte figured it out on our own. Like I don't really want to be the leader but everyone is such a follower. Like I wanted to gather minions but damn I don't need this many. Someones gotta be voted out at some point. Whatever, I'm just tryna get everyone to like me, because people really only align with the people they like. Idk, this game is stupid and I don't have time for it but I'm already in it so I'll at least try. "Tumblr Survivor Jordan Pines" What kind of idiot let this happen

Adam is really doing that with this challenge. There is no way that he would be able to be voted out after this level of participation.

so I love the flag idk if it will win but i love it, I am in a perpetual panic attack right now generally for today in general and shit that happrened yesterday. But I hope we win I need something good.

Well, I thought I'd finally break down how things are going. Looking at this cast I see a lot of familiar faces. Like, A LOT! We have: Jack, my student from Kvaloya. We were paired together however we never had the chance to play together. In this game we have no reason to play together and I think he would trust me easily because of our past. I'm not really loyal to him and I don't feel a need to work with him if we do end up on the same tribe. Gage, we were on a tribe together very briefly in Kvaloya. We went to a tribal but I always felt he was up to no good. I still feel that way lmao. Liam, we were also on a tribe in Kvaloya. However, we did work together - more trust on his side then mine BUT he's a solid guy none the less. Kage, O M G. HA. I literally orchestrated everything about his elimination in Great Lakes from Day 1. I lied to people about him and started rumors and ultimately got him to sent to Redemption Island where I single handily sent him home. He has reason to want me out but we have a good relationship outside of games so we shall see. Drew, I'm happy to see him here! We worked together in Bangladesh but we never completely trusted each other. However, we were grouped together and I think we could work well together. Hopefully he feels the same way. SARAH LYNN, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. Actually one of my best friends in the whole world. I went to visit her once. She's my final 2, I don't care what people think or say. We have each others back 100% and I can't wait until we can play together on the same tribe. Karen, HA. Another person who I contributed greatly to their elimination. But I think she's someone I want to work with so I think we can put Easter Island behind us. Ryan, I sent him in Easter and I can't read him for shit so is he still mad at me ? We shall never know. Emma, MOM!!!! I love Emma and honestly I'm so happy we're on the same tribe ! Someone I know I can trust. Regan and Casey have also hosted me so I have good working relationships with them. So on our tribe we have a lot of people who were old school TS. I'm trying to like remind people we all need to have each others backs, as if we don't then these new people will target us. Hopefully their listening to me. I'm very aware of the friendships these people and I'm trying to get in with Ari/Jess/Ryan as I think they would be able to take me the furthest. Cole and I also talked and we mentioned how we wanna go far together so thank GOD i got him! I like him, hes real and I respect that. I think I also plan on playing a very social game. I want people to want to tell me their secrets and such. So for the challenge it's flag making and I decided to make the flag because I knew I could do an A++ flag, so I hope we win with it! ALSO so i found on the rule page a puzzle to a secret advantage and i did it and I was too late :( Someone has one and i'm not happy !!!!!!!!! I think it might be Drew, hes smart like that.

#supportyourlocaljordanpines

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