i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
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Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it
hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS
PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:
unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal
the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing
has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again
(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)
based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?
has canonically worn Dad Shorts
CONS:
(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)
NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties
despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)
currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything
Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family
???:
turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess
all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!
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Okay but given that you can make alcohol from just about any plant, a world built around Minecraft could have SUCH a liquor cabinet.
You’ve got your basics, the potato and wheat vodka, gin, whiskey, then rum from sugarcane or beet sugar if you’re feeling a little adventurous.
Then you’ve got the fancier things. Dandelion and melon wine, spike vodka, pumpkin liqueur, applejack. Zhuyeqing jiu and chocolate liquor if you REALLY want to go for the cool stuff.
You’ve got mead and all kinds of moonshine, everything from carrots to kelp to sawdust brandy if you live out in the Badlands. Sunflower and rose spirits, lilac wine, even milk liquor and advocaat if you want to deviate from plants a bit.
But then you’ve got the plants that don’t exist in our sphere.
Chorus liqueur, dripleaf absinthe, glowberry champagne and sweet berry wine, glow lichen beer and crème de spore blossom, golden apple cider, glistering cordial. For the truly danger-seeking, wither rose lanique.
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As part of a two-part reverse bang-bang, here's some more Valentines art to which @probablytoooldforthis wrote an amazing fic, Sweets for the Sweet! Please go check it out, I promise you won't regret it, and keep your eyes peeled for the second chapter - and artwork, of course - coming out on White Day aka the 14th of March!
Also, I this is an unrendered version, the finished version will be posted within about a week's time (hopefully) since I don't have access to digital drawing at the moment YuY
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I wish Batman would fuck with the Joker more. I know he can't. Scratch, I know an important piece of their core dynamic is that he is above it, which opens the way to great contrasts when other characters (ie icon Terry Bats) do. But come on, it would be so easy. It would be free.
During a teamup in Gotham, Bats could dreamily remark that he likes Superman because he makes him laugh. What options does the clownfucker have now? Try to jealously kill fucking Superman or simply dive backwards into the Hudson River. The whole thing would take ten seconds of work, and I don't think there'd be collateral damage. Superman's already there.
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