TW d**th and existential crisis kinda
I have just watched a video about a show called "The midnight gospel" and its made me think a lot. growing up I didn't understand that life was short and I had a period in my life where I constantly had panic attacks about death and it made me really scared. I wouldn't know how to carry myself and it made me feel so small. but watching that video and rethinking on my life has made me feel less scared. I know deep down that I'm afraid of death. everyone is to some point but man I think I get it. being into fossils and other things that's have lived and died has shown me that ill truly never be forgotten at least in the way that is the existents of human beings. my name will be said one last time and that's the scariest thing I know that. but I know we as a people, as a species will leave a mark on this world for a long time and I'm ok with being forgotten. I know who I am and what my purpose is and that's ok. is my purpose something that will bring in lots of money and ill be able to survive off of it. no, never but do I know that what I do makes the people around me feel seen and make people know that they are loved, yes. my purpose in life is to be there for people and to make them aware that yes we die but living is the most beautiful thing a person can do. just existing is a wonderful thing and that we need to live in the moment and be at peace with ourselves. death is something that the human mind can not understand because it can not understand not existing. that's ok we will all in the end come to terms with it in our own time.
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Sometimes I think that nobody else on the planet could possibly share my bizarre Venn diagram of niche interests, but I am always pleasantly surprised.
I was listening to The Apocrypals a few days ago (“a podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible and try not to be jerks about it”) , and:
Benito: so here we have the Coptic word ⲅⲉⲛⲟⲥ, which is a loan word from the Greek γένος, which seems to mean “generation,” similar to the Latin word which gives us “Genus”—
Chris: So when he’s talking about “the generation,” he’s talking about, like, One Punch Man’s friend?
Benito: Basically which generations have an immortal soul inside of them and get to ascend to the spiritual plane when they shuffle off the mortal coil.
Anyway, they’re super cool and I love to plug them any time I can.
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free online james baldwin stories, essays, videos, and other resources
**edit
James baldwin online archive with his articles and photo archives.
---NOVELS---
Giovanni's room"When David meets the sensual Giovanni in a bohemian bar, he is swept into a passionate love affair. But his girlfriend's return to Paris destroys everything. Unable to admit to the truth, David pretends the liaison never happened - while Giovanni's life descends into tragedy. This book introduces love's fascinating possibilities and extremities."
Go Tell It On The Mountain"(...)Baldwin's first major work, a semi-autobiographical novel that has established itself as an American classic. With lyrical precision, psychological directness, resonating symbolic power, and a rage that is at once unrelenting and compassionate, Baldwin chronicles a fourteen-year-old boy's discovery of the terms of his identity as the stepson of the minister of a storefront Pentecostal church in Harlem one Saturday in March of 1935. Baldwin's rendering of his protagonist's spiritual, sexual, and moral struggle of self-invention opened new possibilities in the American language and in the way Americans understand themselves."
+bonus: film adaptation on youtube. (if you’re a giancarlo esposito fan, you’ll be delighted to see him in an early preacher role)
Another Country and Going to Meet the Man Another country: "James Baldwin's masterly story of desire, hatred and violence opens with the unforgettable character of Rufus Scott, a scavenging Harlem jazz musician adrift in New York. Self-destructive, bad and brilliant, he draws us into a Bohemian underworld pulsing with heat, music and sex, where desperate and dangerous characters betray, love and test each other to the limit." Going to meet the Man: " collection of eight short stories by American writer James Baldwin. The book, dedicated "for Beauford Delaney", covers many topics related to anti-Black racism in American society, as well as African-American–Jewish relations, childhood, the creative process, criminal justice, drug addiction, family relationships, jazz, lynching, sexuality, and white supremacy."
Just Above My Head"Here, in a monumental saga of love and rage, Baldwin goes back to Harlem, to the church of his groundbreaking novel Go Tell It on the Mountain, to the homosexual passion of Giovanni's Room, and to the political fire that enflames his nonfiction work. Here, too, the story of gospel singer Arthur Hall and his family becomes both a journey into another country of the soul and senses--and a living contemporary history of black struggle in this land."
If Beale Street Could Talk"Told through the eyes of Tish, a nineteen-year-old girl, in love with Fonny, a young sculptor who is the father of her child, Baldwin's story mixes the sweet and the sad. Tish and Fonny have pledged to get married, but Fonny is falsely accused of a terrible crime and imprisoned. Their families set out to clear his name, and as they face an uncertain future, the young lovers experience a kaleidoscope of emotions-affection, despair, and hope. In a love story that evokes the blues, where passion and sadness are inevitably intertwined, Baldwin has created two characters so alive and profoundly realized that they are unforgettably ingrained in the American psyche."
also has a film adaptation by moonlight's barry jenkins
Tell Me How Long the Train's been gone At the height of his theatrical career, the actor Leo Proudhammer is nearly felled by a heart attack. As he hovers between life and death, Baldwin shows the choices that have made him enviably famous and terrifyingly vulnerable. For between Leo's childhood on the streets of Harlem and his arrival into the intoxicating world of the theater lies a wilderness of desire and loss, shame and rage. An adored older brother vanishes into prison. There are love affairs with a white woman and a younger black man, each of whom will make irresistible claims on Leo's loyalty.
---ESSAYS---
Baldwin essay collection. Including most famously: notes of a native son, nobody knows my name, the fire next time, no name in the street, the devil finds work- baldwin on film
--DOCUMENTARIES--
Take this hammer, a tour of san Francisco.
Meeting the man
--DEBATES:--
Debate with Malcolm x, 1963 ( on integration, the nation of islam, and other topics. )
Debate with William Buckley, 1965. ( historic debate in america. )
Heavily moderated debate with Malcolm x, Charles Eric Lincoln, and Samuel Schyle 1961. (Primarily Malcolm X's debate on behalf of the nation of islam, with Baldwin giving occassional inputs.)
----
apart from themes obvious in the book's descriptions, a general heads up for themes of incest and sexual assault throughout his works.
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Hey, CT, I've been following you for a while and I really admire your dedication as a scholar, but I was wondering about your practice of "occult red herring traps" as you put it a few posts ago.
I understand that you're trying to get people to think critically, even skeptically, about their sources of information—which is particularly important given the subject material—but since people are treating you like an expert, don't you think you have an obligation to give them correct information? If you aren't a practicing occultist purposefully trying to be obscurantist, but are writing about the topic for the elucidation of others, what is the point of inserting falsehoods into your work?
No disrespect intended, just curious about your intentions.
Few reasons:
Im not going to claim any higher educational goals here. I do this because I think it's fun to fuck with people sometimes. That said, I have rules:
I'll never lie about anything serious. When I do spread deliberate red herrings, it's things like "Goku was present in Andalusian Spain." Or St. Christopher drove to the council of Nicea in a Dodge Charger." Things that if believed would only cause minor embarrassment.
When I do lie, I always make sure it can be easily dispelled with a simple Google search or a basic fact check. Or even just thinking about it critically for two seconds. Like hold on, I don't think Goku was in Andalusian Spain because he is a cartoon character.
I generally consider it in the spirit of Occultism. I find it fun, but its also a fun way to encourage people to not take everything I say as gospel. I don't want to be seen as "person with all the right answers and correct opinions" my opinions are often dogshit. I want to be seen as "person who can point you towards actual historical sources."
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