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#For real it's just my opinion and other people's may be different
jj-one · 1 month
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HATE YOU
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this is smut, do not interact if under 18
pairing: enemies to lovers ? (sorta one-sided tho), college au, fuckboy!jungkook x f!reader genre/tags: smut, angst, alcohol usage, dirty talk, lowkey perverted!jk, fingering, piv, unprotected sex (oof), drunk sex, public sex (reader & jk do it at a house party), riding, video recording **pls don’t do none of this irl LMAO words: 2.7k
**old repost from my deleted blog
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Hate is a strong word— at least that’s what people try and say. You meant it though, it was a word you didn’t use lightly. Especially when it came to your opinion on 99% of the male population at your school. You couldn’t stand most of them, they all just wanted one thing. Getting into your pants.
You despised hook-up culture with a passion and it didn’t help that most guys who tried talking to you were all the same. You had a special hatred for a particular individual the most though— Jeon Jungkook from your physics class. He was the most arrogant, conceited, egotistical person you’ve ever met your whole life.
Every class he would have a different girl with him wrapped around his arm, walking him to the door like he’s some kind of royalty. The way almost every girl would swoon over him just because he’s good looking was baffling to you. Yeah he may have a pretty face but does that cancel everything else out? Of course not. You’ll never understand why these women would choose to go after someone like him, you felt embarrassed for them honestly.
“Jungkook, meet me after class I’ll be waiting for you!” Some girl shouted through the door to get his attention.
He was sitting two seats from you, looking at his phone while paying no mind to the obvious screaming being directed to him. He was so full of himself it was ridiculous.
“Hey y/n, what’re you doing tonight?”
That voice startled the hell out of you. Who gave Jungkook the right to even be speaking to you right now? Looking over in his direction, you give him an empty stare.
“Why do you care?” You said harshly.
It makes no sense why he would even try talking to you, you’ve never given him any indication you liked him.
“Sheesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,” he chuckles, “you should pull up to my party tonight!” You wanted to almost physically gag at the wink he just gave you.
“I’m good.” You shut him down quickly and try moving on but he doesn’t let you off that easy.
“You sure? The whole schools practically gonna be there, you don’t wanna miss out on all the fun do ya?” That annoying smirk on his face was really starting to irritate you.
“I said I’m good, I’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties.”
“I think you got me mixed up with someone else, my parties are always lit. If you have a change of heart though, I’ll make sure to show you a real good time.”
You scoff, utterly disgusted by his last comment, just about everything he said had sexual undertones to them. His humor was weird and extremely perverted which heavily pissed you off. You couldn’t wait for this class to be over.
“We’re almost here!” Yuna exclaims in the passenger seat.
You were in the back with two of your other friends as you were headed to a party. You weren’t totally up for partying tonight but ultimately your friends were able to convince you to go. You don’t even know where the party is but maybe it’s good to get your mind off things.
“Oh, by the way who’s party is this?” You ask suddenly as Lisa pulls into a driveway.
The car got silent for a second, no one answered your question. It was a bit odd to you the way they all froze up.
“Actually… it’s Jungkook’s party…” Lisa finally spoke, her eyes kept trailing away from you.
“What the fuck? Of all places you choose to go you pick him?!” You felt so betrayed.
They really drove you all the way here just to trick you into coming and now you have no escape plan. They all begged and pleaded for you to suck it up and let loose for just one night. You finally agreed but only under the condition that you want to be far away from him as possible.
“Why do you even dislike him so much? You would think he had murdered someone or something!” Your friend asks.
“I just think he’s a pretentious asshole that doesn’t deserve all the hype he gets.”
They just shrug your opinion off and get out the car. You huff as you open the door and head to the party with the rest of them.
You instantly felt claustrophobic once you go inside. There were crowds of people everywhere. Jungkook was right, everyone at the school was practically here. Loud rap music was blaring through the speakers, red solo cups scattered the floor, people getting sloppy drunk or stoned; the perfect stereotypical house party.
You haven’t seen him yet so that was a good sign and you go up to the kitchen to get drinks with Lisa. 20 minutes pass by now and Lisa was left out of your sight. You have no idea where she could’ve run off to and now you have to search the place to find your friends.
Heading outside into the backyard, your balance was becoming unstable from the alcohol in your system. You were taking shots of Hennessy back to back and it caught up to you faster than you could blink. You sat down on one of the lawn chairs since your head was starting to feel really heavy. You felt a sudden tap behind your shoulder and hear a voice that even when you’re drunk, you can sense with disdain.
“Well, well, well if it isn’t little miss ‘i’d never show up to one of your dumb ass parties!’” Jungkook teases while coming from behind you.
“Get the hell away from me!” You lean away from him to leave you alone but he only came closer.
“This is my house so I don’t need to go anywhere, if anything I think I should kick you out for being so mean to me.” His face inched towards yours further, putting you in an uncomfortable position.
You don’t know why your body felt paralyzed though, it was probably just from all the alcohol inebriating your mind.
“You know, I never understood why you actually hate me. I never hurt you did I?” He says, slightly cocking his head to the side.
His tattooed hand landed on your knee, just planting it there while keeping strong eye contact. You couldn’t speak for some reason, it was as if an enormous lump has formed and got caught inside your throat. He looks down at the skirt you’re wearing and bites his lip, playing with his lip ring.
“Why aren’t you talking? You usually have a lot to say to me, why so quiet now sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?” He continues speaking in that condescending tone of his and you’ve had enough now.
“I fucking hate your guts Jungkook, I absolutely despise you. You’re a cocky, perverted fuckboy that needs to be humbled and finally put in your place!” You snap back at him while pushing his hand away.
“Woah girl chill out, that was a bit harsh don’t ya think? Also, I’d love for you to put me in my place any day.” Yet again, he never fails to make a sexually charged comment.
“You’re disgusting, seriously get help!” You attempt to get up from the lawn chair but he pushes you back down.
“You know, I’ve always liked my girls a little feisty. I find it hot when girls yell at me.”
Either this man has a humiliation kink or is just plain stupid— either way you don’t want to be anywhere near him but he wouldn’t let you leave.
“Please just go away Jungkook, I don’t want you in my sight anymore.”
“Really? Because if that were true then you would’ve been left already,” his hand went to stroke the side of your hair “seems like you really don’t want me to leave.”
His other hand went back to your knee again but slowly trails up to your thigh and goes under your skirt this time. You were surprised within yourself that you were even letting this happen. He leans in to your face, being just a few inches away from his lips. You became almost in a trance by those pink, pillowy lips. You don’t know what came over you but you grab his face and messily kiss him. The movement of your lips colliding and syncing together as he deepened the kiss. He sensually touches your thigh while you moan into the kiss and he squeezes your thigh tightly in response. Looking around to see all the people still here when you pull away from him; you can’t fathom you just made out with Jungkook in front of all these goddamn people. You just lost all respect for yourself.
“You know I’ve always secretly had a crush on you y/n?” Jungkook admits, “I kinda like it when girls are mean to me. Or maybe I just like it when you’re mean, I haven’t figured it out yet.”
“Let me show you how mean I can get then.” You reply, staring up at him with hungry eyes.
That cheesy grin never leaving his face as he hears you speak. The tension only grew thicker and he wasn’t about to waste another second.
“Sit on my lap.” He uses his hands to maneuver you and leans back in the chair.
You drunkenly stumble on top of him, feeling him against you. Your body heat raised through the roof but this time you were sure it wasn’t because of the liquor. You straddle his lap as you go back to hastily making out. His wandering hands kept slipping down to your ass to squeeze it and you were starting to feel dizzy from the way he was kissing you. You feel his touch under your skirt to play with you some more, not caring if anyone’s looking at this point.
“I don’t think we should be doing this.. not here at least. Too many people.” You say when pulling away from his lips.
“I really don’t give a fuck, it’s my party let them watch. Let’s put on a good show for everyone, yeah?”
You know this goes beyond against every moral you’ve had before. You’re about to do the one thing you told yourself that you’d never do.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” Agreeing to go along with his narrative.
He lets you in charge now, letting you have full control over the way you get to ride him. You push your panties to the side and he undoes his pants to free his fully hard member. You didn’t realize how much of a nice cock he has, it was well groomed and had the perfect size/width.
“You have a really pretty dick, must I say.” You still can’t believe these words are being said to Jungkook.
“Thanks baby, I can’t wait for it to be in that pretty little pussy of yours.”
He drags two of his fingers down to your core and swipes in a circular motion, smearing the wet slick as he watches your mouth open wide with pleasure. His digits sink into your cunt harshly, pushing them deeper and deeper.
“Fuck! Your fingers feel too good…” you hid your face in his shoulder as he splits you open.
Your eyes hung low and your mind was hazy. Unable to think straight, you just wanted to feel Jungkook inside of you already.
“Need to fuck you nowww!” You yell, almost sounding a bit whiny.
“So do it then cutie. Come fuck yourself on my cock.”
He withdraws his digits out of you and licks the juices off them one by one. His grin would only get wider as you lowered yourself on his cock. You were so soaking wet you sunk down on him easily while resting your hands around his shoulders to brace yourself a bit before moving. Once you regain focus you slide up and down on his shaft nice and slow; making him bite his lip, moan, and curse under his breath.
“Your pussy feels so good… so tight… fuck..” his mind was going blank as you pick up a steady pace.
You were so out of it by now that you were bouncing on his cock in a frenzy. He roughly thrusted his hips back into you while you sloppily rode him. The way he filled you up felt like you were in heaven. You open your eyes for a second, forgetting that you were at a party. Almost everyone was looking at you, some people even took out their phones to record the scene in front of them. It was probably all the alcohol you drank but you didn’t even care anymore, you continued savagely riding him. You’re moaning louder as you slam down into him harder, pulling his body closer to yours. He loudly grunts from your walls aching around him, his cock was throbbing so intensely he felt himself wanting to burst already.
People were beyond shocked to see this happening, it was a wild party but they weren’t expecting all this. You try not to pay attention to everyone and focus on Jungkook so you can make yourself cum. Then out of nowhere, he spontaneously lifts you up while you’re still on his cock. Engulfing those large hands on your ass cheeks to keep you balanced and thrusts into you deep while he’s standing up. You had your arms wrapped tightly around him, you weren’t too scared of falling since he had a strong grip on you. You were taking his cock with each harsh stroke he gave, screaming out his name over and over so the whole party could hear it.
“Fuck yes Jungkook! Keep fucking me just like that, you’re so good!!” You could feel yourself coming close and so does Jungkook. Wet strands of sticky hair cling to his face from all the work he’s putting in, his eyebrows furrowed to concentrate solely on making you cum.
“Gonna cum on this cock for me baby? I feel you getter tighter ‘round me.”
“Yess, wanna cum on your cock so bad please!”
He was hitting all the spots in you just right, the slight curve of his shaft fit so perfectly in your core. Your mouth was back to being jaw locked again, feeling the heat wave of your orgasm coming through. It hit even harder when you were drunk, you felt like you were going to fall out of his arms but he noticed you slipping and pulls you up into a firmer grasp. While shutting your eyes you feel your release take over, cursing and moaning his name repeatedly like a broken record.
“I’m ‘bout to cum ….” He pulls out of you and sets you back on the lawn chair, “look up and open wide for me.”
You open your mouth eagerly for him, he gives his cock a few pumps before releasing his white creamy load into your mouth. You swallow every drop of his cum and stick your tongue out for him to show your empty mouth. He smiles at the pretty sight of you and goes in to kiss you once again.
“This is fucking insane!” One of the random people at the party says.
You recognize the person since they’ve been watching you from the start. To say that you and Jungkook left everyone at that party speechless was an understatement.
“You know people were taking videos of us right?” Jungkook says cautiously.
“Yeah… it’s probably going to end up all over social media now, if it hasn’t already. Oh well, like I care!” You shrug nonchalantly.
Oh you’ll definitely care when you sober up.
“Let’s get outta here?” Jungkook zips his pants back up and takes his hand out for you to grab.
You hold onto him and balance your wobbly legs to stand up. You were both severely drunk but he held his liquor way better than you did. For the rest of the night, the party continued and you ended up finding your friends. They soon found out about you were doing and how you fucked Jungkook in front of everyone there, they were all completely taken aback. You went from hating his guts to him destroying yours— guess that’s one way you can end a burning hatred for someone.
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athena5898 · 6 months
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I often think when people hear "infantilizing a group of people", they think of it literarily that we are actively being made a infant. While this is a part of it, I think people miss the subtle things that end up causing chasms in their relationships with that group of people.
It's actually hard to pinpoint because it's never a singular event, it's many tiny things but the end result is always "I am the authority, I will always know more then you, I will never take your advice, I will never be honest with you (you know to spare *your* feelings), any disagreement is your fault, any problem in your life is my cross to bear and you must follow how I tell you to fix it, I will never stoop myself to understanding what your needs are as X group and will view everything from my own lens and judge you accordingly, we are not equals, and we never will be. (This is not a exhausted list, nor will everyone have all the same traits)
It is very hard to connect with someone who just automatically assumes a higher status to you just because of something you can't change. All the while the offender thinks what they are doing is actually a good thing. They are somehow helping you by just assuming they are better then you (which in the end, that's kinda what this is).
I have a few people in my life that I care for a lot, but they are not that much older then me yet they act like I can't possibly understand them and automatically shove this "child" label on my forhead.
And here is the thing, they will voluntarily bring up why they think this if you pay attention. It might be trauma they've dealt with, it might be that they have kids and you don't, age, or anything else like this. However I think it's important to note that I have friends who do not talk down to me and respect me as my own person with autonomy and also have these things going on in their life. So it's not like it's impossible to treat someone with respect and have these differences.
Now what do some of these subtle differences look like? There are many ways they can materialize but to name a few.
- Demanding the person solves a problem their way despite the person telling them why their circumstances do not allow that.
- assuming...well anything and all the time. These people have a tendency to think they know exactly what you are feeling and other such things and if you try to correct them then they will actually get upset at you or show some type of passive aggressiveness.
-Speaking on your behalf without asking permission
-never valuing your expertise on any subject. They are older/more mature then you, therefore to them they know more about everything. What's really fun (/s) about this is when they will explain to you, why you are wrong, by repeating what you said back at you.
- any reason why you can't do a thing, or why you need an aide is an excuse. You could do it if you *really* wanted to, but you are just being lazy. Now the real adult has to take up your burden.
- they do not/cannot listen to you. No matter what you say or how you say it, or if they even confirm what you say, there is always a part of them that is not listening. Or hell, they could of listened to you, but since what you say isn't important to them, they will quickly forget it and may even try and claim you never said anything to them.
- I'm not sure if this counts as infantilizing, but I notice that it happens a lot in tandem. While they think less of you and treat you like a child whose facts and opinions don't matter, all of this will change at a moment's notice when they need something from you...oddly enough something they probably normally do not take seriously from you on a normal day. Suddenly thrusting you with this burden of taking care of them even though they are never there for you in any meaningful actually helpful way most of the time. Like you will literally be demanded to stop what you are doing, and get over whatever you are going through to help them and their problem. I cannot explain how frustrating it is to be demanded to be the mature one while most of the time being denied respect.
I could go on, but honestly if I sat here and thought of every single tiny thing they do to make sure there is distance between you and them up on their self made pedestals, I'd be here all day.
The worst part on all of this is that I have no idea how to resolve it. People who do this are not inherently bad people, hell they might not even realize they do it. But this can actually make it more difficult to bring to their attention. I have tried many ways and many different times to resolve this, but I haven't been successful yet. Anyone who has corrected themselves were people who just had a little mess up but still obviously viewed me as a person from the start.
These subtle ways someone can dehumanize you, it can cause terrible rifts and of course the other person never understands why (see point above about not listening)
I am writing this as a autistic person, but I know there are others who go through this. Please check the ways you create artificial authority over someone.
Edit: someone reblogged this with hashtags about how we shouldn't do this to children either and I completely agree, I was using the term because it's the one often used to explain these things. Adding the edit cause I have no idea how to respond to the hashtag thing and I think it's a important thing to note.
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pallastrology · 3 months
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observations on aquarius
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artwork by jules pierre van biesbroek
aquarius moons, like other air moons, can treat their emotions kind of like a puzzle; they turn them over in their hands and really break down and analyse their thoughts and feelings. aquarius moons in particular tend to be very focused on the wider impact of their actions and emotions, which, while a testament to their kind and caring nature, can get in the way of them experiencing their full emotional range and the insight that comes with that.
a lot of people with aquarius dominance can go through life feeling dreadfully lonely. though (depending on individual placements) they often pride themselves on being different, or not needing to follow the crowd, deep down they can feel they don't belong, or aren't 'normal'. really, their uniqueness is what makes them beautiful, and while their journey isn't always predictable, they generally find their tribe along the way, and become people with a strong sense of self and steady values that guide them and their relationships.
aquarius on the ascendant tends to have a reputation for looking 'alien-like' or asymmetric, and while the second one especially can be true, my opinion is that a lot of aquarius risings have a doll-like beauty, with very fine and neat features, not unlike virgo risings actually. what sets them apart is that they are more expressive with their style, more congruent and more open to showing their true selves through their clothing. they are prouder and stronger that way, almost more dramatic.
mars in aquarius is a placement that has a strange relationship with anger and assertiveness. they tend to be very cool people, in that they're stoic, relaxed, grounded and pragmatic; they aren't as controlling or fearful as a fixed mars tends to be. but they can be quite detached from their anger and agency, and so if they aren't self-reflective, they don't see how it can affect those around them when they are angry. they are prone to anger at the state of the world and are sensitive to justice - or injustice, rather - but can be erratic in how they display this, at times seeming uncaring.
jupiter in aquarius is a placement that brings a lot of kindness, a lot of generosity, but a strict will and a clear vision. they are dreamers at heart, like a lot of aquarian placements, but if it's channeled properly, jupiter in aquarius gives the native the power and confidence to succeed. the other interesting thing about this placement is that the native tends to love to work; as long as the work means something to them, as long as it does good. they absolutely cannot work just to make money, it's bad for their souls.
aquarius in the sixth house can bring health issues that appear suddenly, are hard to diagnose or treat, or come and go. they may have unusual symptoms or reactions to things, and the phrase 'when you hear hoofbeats, think horses' doesn't tend to apply so well to them. somewhat nervous individuals, aquarius in the sixth house natives can be sensitive to lifestyle factors that help or hinder their health, and so they need a solid (if maybe a little unconventional) routine to really flourish.
aquarius suns are some of the funniest people i've ever met. they have a real deadpan, dry sense of humour and their serious delivery just makes the joke land better. although they may have unconventional taste in material, they don't tend towards the inappropriate and in fact are very even and fair in their roasts. maybe for this reason, they aren't the best roasters, but at least you know you won't be traumatised if an aquarius roasts you...
venus in aquarius gets a reputation for being distant, 'away with the fairies', even unromantic, but i don't think that's true at all. while they are a more grounded and cerebral placement for venus to be in, these natives are incredibly sweet. when they love someone, they will tell them so in a thousand tiny ways. they're the type to take their time getting to know every part of you, down to your microexpressions and innermost worries and favourites.
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thesharktanksdriver · 11 months
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Anarchy in the Spiderweb (Romantic)
I don’t know British slang so sorry if he’s dialogue seems a bit out of character.
Also watches this movie 2 days ago so I’m going off of memory of him plus other people’s interpretations
Not even sure this is good but my mind is racing with him and this is what came out of that
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From the moment you met Hobie brown you knew that the two of you would end up inexplicably tangled together somehow
Your not sure why, but it felt as if fate had pulled you both together
It was in high school you both met
Him, the cool and justice focused punk who was regularly getting himself into fights
And you, the relatively normal but meek kid who was regularly picked on
It was a cold and dreary afternoon which was normal for London weather
You were walking home, new bruises lining your arms after being pushed around once again
Old cuts now reopened as you walk with your bag hugged to your chest
It was then turning a corner you saw him
Bruised just like you were but with a proud smile, blood staining his teeth and knuckles like shining beacons to his victory
A complete opposite to you
Without thinking you pull out some spare bandages from your bag
Rushing over before he could say anything and doing your best to patch him up
It was when you looked him in the eyes you paused
And it was then that you felt it, an odd spark of something that you both seemingly felt
A shiver goes down your spine and it’s not from the cold nor your bruises
Once your done wrapping him up as best you could you go to scurry away but your stopped when his hand grabs your wrist
For a moment your afraid
But then he speaks
“You got into your own battles huh?”
“I…” you pause to think of the right words “if you call standing there and taking it as a battle…then yeah”
He gets a look in his eyes, something burning and angry but not directed at you. “I’m Hobie. You need some company?”
For a moment you think it over, there might be more kids on your way back home “I…sure. I’m Y/n”
He pats your shoulder with a gentleness you haven’t expected, his smile is cool and calm. “Aight”
From then on you stuck like glue
Despite skipping classes he’d show up when your classes would end to walk you to the next
Lunches that used to be alone were now spent with him behind the school with his newest track list
In his words it was to “listen to some real music”
The bruises that we’re constantly reappearing now faded away
As did the constant frown and anxiety that filled you when going to school
At some point you enjoyed heading to the corrupt system that did nothing to help you
But Hobie did and that’s what had mattered to you
Even as people stopped picking on you he stayed
You began hanging out with him after school
Being taken to some hole in the wall places he found via word of mouth
Some of which end up in running from the police afterwards but with that comes dodging into alleyways and then laughing your ass off
Going to unknown concerts for bands you’d never heard of
Being dragged backstage by him during his small concert venues as well
It’s quite possibly the most fun you’d had in your life
And with that you begin to open up more much to his pleasure
You used to be a shy wallflower but now he saw a different side to you
One that loved adventure and risk
Someone who desperately needed to break out of their shell with a little help
A person who began experimenting in their own style with his help
Sometimes he crashes randomly at your place, coming in through the window after knocking on it
Usually at some random time in the night
But despite how you grumble about it you let him in
On nights like these he strums his guitar, trying out new songs he’s made and getting your opinion
Or doing activities like having you paint his nails
He doesn’t care about the colour, even if it’s something that clashes with his looks
Also may or may not have pierced your ears
At some point within the night you both crash on the bed in a mess of limbs
Luckily he has the hindsight to take off his boots and studded clothes
At some point Hobie begins to show up at your place more with injuries that need to be patched up
It worries you a bit, especially as Oscorp becomes bigger and bigger
It’s not like he hasn’t gotten into fights before and came to you but now things are changing
And not for the better
But regardless you know it’s useless talking him out of it
you knew how he was
He’d never not stand up for others
Never stop going against the system
And that had to be one of the things you loved most about him
So you just stick to patching him up, lightly teasing him a bit which makes him chuckle
Butterflies fluttering in your stomach as his deep voice rumbles
It doesn’t help that as of late he had also been much more…affectionate?
Not in the traditional sense, but in his own way
From the beginning of knowing him, Hobie has had a habit of gifting you things as a sign of care
And that hasn’t stopped, it increased quite a bit
All his gifts are handmade and personal. Things only you and him would have the context to understand
Also cause he hates capitalism
Hand painted bottle caps that he made into buttons
Small scraps of paper of lyrics from his songs
Playlists he made with hand selected songs that “remind him of you” that have certain romantic subtext
Customizing your clothes (with your permission) into something similar to his style yet personalized just for you
They aren’t grand gestures but each are more meaningful that way
Each somehow recalling an old memory between the two of you
Like him showing you the sex pistols for the first time at lunch whilst he played along with the tune
Or a button with your nickname on it
All those can be somewhat written off though, maybe he was just being more sentimental as of late
Maybe he did this with other close friends (your not sure if he really talked to anyone but you though?)
But then again he’d also been more touchy
Draping an arm around your shoulder when he notices you getting uncomfortable
Lingering by your side closer than he did before
The occasional time his rough hands will graze yours almost intentionally
By doing this many seem to assume your both a couple and he never goes out of his way to correct them
Just letting the comment slide as your left to frantically explain
It seems to be signs that he might like you yet your not fully sure
He’s the first ever really good thing in your life and you can’t risk ruining it
Not when there’s still a chance your looking into things too much
Not when he may find it too awkward and stop being there for you
Eventually during hangouts he brings up the subject of the new spider vigilante
It’s not very surprising to you, yet you can’t help but be a bit intrigued since he had a negative view on heros
You tell him the truth though since there no point lying to him
Spider-Man or Spider-punk as he’s widely nicknamed, is pretty cool in your opinion
He reminded you a lot of Hobie in the fact he stood up for the weak and gave the middle finger to pricks in power
In that regard he earned your respect
Along with the fact you had to admit he was pretty cool looking
That earns you a chuckle from Hobie as he rummages through his bag for something
Meanwhile your still talking when he suddenly shows you a very familiar spider mask with spikes along the top to mimic a Mohawk
And now your staring in complete and utter shock
Mouth agape
Eyes wide
He just fucking laughs and pulls it over his head, somehow being able to contain his hair
“So you like it eh? Well…Do you like it even more now?”
“Hobie what the ever loving fuck?!?”
“I’ll take that as a yes”
“Your Spider-Man?! How??”
“Long story short, radioactive spider from illegal dumped waste. Not surprising to be honest. Not when you still haven’t caught onto the hints that I like you luv”
“Huh?! Wait you like me?!”
“Thought I made it pretty clear.”
Yeah so, Hobie just randomly dumps that on you
And it takes a while to process
But in that time he’s already holding you close as your a stuttering mess of confusion
He finds it cute
Especially since he gets to tease you about it a whole shit ton later
But once you do process it, things progress
He becomes you partner and you become his
Your trust between one another growing stronger as he tells you of his fights and goals
Those night visits increase as he literally swings past to say hi or get quickly patched up before heading out again
But now before he goes he insists in getting a kiss for luck
And how can you refuse him when he gives you that damn smirk
With his spider powers he likes to take you places you normally couldn’t see
Like the top of buildings to some old dilapidated factory that the two of you explore for shits and giggles
These become the equivalent of dates since he finds restaurants too cliche. He does bring food though on these excursions
In public he doesn’t change the amount of affection he gives you very much
A arm around your shoulder or curled around your waist
He prefers to not go beyond that but if someone is trying to flirt with you and they are the getting the message that your already in a relationship he may sneak a quick kiss
Along with this he also lets you have the honour of wearing his stuff
Jackets, vest, pins, shirts, you name it and he’ll lend you it
He finds it cute especially if it clashes with your own style
Speaking of which, he’ll also probably steal your stuff as well since he finds it nice to have something of yours with him
His enhanced sense make smell much more prominent to him and having something of yours with it makes him feel a bit more relaxed
Helps him on duty as well when things get rough, it just reminds him what he’s fighting for
Cause from the moment you both met on that shitty cold day he knew he needed to help you
And since then he’s wanted to make this shitty world better for the people who deserve it
Eventually when he’s approached by another Spider-Man from a different dimension named Miguel he is apprehensive
Hobie has (and will) never be someone who is ordered around
Especially not by some big wig who thinks he’s better than everyone
But despite that he can’t help but be tempted to know more about all of this
Throughout his entire run as Spider-Man the only other person he’s had is you
But even then you didn’t know the full potential and extent of what it’s like to have these powers
Now there are literal hundreds of thousands who know
Some of which he can’t help but think would be cool to meet, especially since there had to be others like him
So for now he agrees but not before giving you the heads up first
Especially since he doesn’t trust Miguel and whatever the hell he was talking about with “canon events”
All you ask is that he gets back safe at the end of the day and tell you all about what he’s seen
He smiles and gives you a kiss before leaving through a portal via a bracket of sorts
What he quickly learns whilst at spider HQ is that for every spider-person a set destiny of events would happen to them
Some of which he recognizes in his own story
But one that didn’t was you
His love for you goes against the bullshit of whatever canon decides is supposed to happen
Your not an M.J or a Gwen
Not some weird variant of them with a slightly altered name
Your you
Perfect, beautiful, amazingly caring you who has always been there for him when society spat on him
But when has he ever listened to authority?
So due to this he keeps mention of your name to none. Just sticking to the nicknames he’s given you when talking to others
Of all the spiders he meets he ends up to be pretty close friends to a small group of them
Gwen, Pavitr, and Mayday (by extension her father as well)
He even begins letting the Blond spider-woman crash at his place one learning her situation of going home
Warning you of not saying your actual name around her just in case as a precaution
But besides that you get along with her as well
She feels a bit awkward staying at his place considering he’s in a relationship but you assure her it’s fine
You trust her
And most importantly you trust him
Plus by how she was talking about “Miles” you had no real reason to worry
(Along with the fact her situation hit too close to home when Hobie ended up without a home for awhile and you were the only person he could turn to)
Gwen is welcome company especially as she and Hobie practice songs together while you all hang out
It’s fun watching
Especially since Hobie at some through focuses his attention on showing off whilst staring at you with his dumb smile
You can’t help but giggle afterwards as he make some comments about it
Meanwhile Gwen sitting nearby on the couch wondering if she should leave the room
Pavitr is another who ends up occasionally dropping by at Hobie’s who ends up meeting you
He’s a ray of sunshine who is bouncing with joy once seeing you and Hobie
He comments on the “beautiful chemistry” while Gwen sighs
During hangouts Pavitr tends to talk with you about what it’s like in his dimension and the differences between here and there
It’s actually pretty cool
Especially as he occasionally brings snacks and drinks for everyone to try as he talks about his Aunt preparing them
He might or might not have let it slip that Hobie constantly talks about you to everyone who will listen
Which he then absolutely gushes about being super adorable
What he finds even more adorable are the songs Hobie wrote that are obviously about you
Yet at the time he wrote them you kept thinking otherwise
You swear Pavitr somehow knows every nerdy fact know to man
He might’ve taught you how to use string to create stuff
And then he squeals when he finds out you did what he taught you and made it a gift to Hobie
He is both your and Hobie’s number one supporter
Hobie says he brings Mayday over to “teach her about anarchy” but you have a feeling it’s really so Peter can spend some time with his wife
Not that your complaining thought since Mayday is adorable
The little redhead is climbing up the walls and parading her knitted Spider-Man hat as if it were a priceless treasure (which it is)
She absolutely loves Hobie and you
Sometimes he lets her play with a little “drum” set he made with some cans and junk
She loves it, partially cause she loves causing chaos
Which he approves of
When he tuckers her out she goes to you
You gently hold her and lay her to bed
Peter secretly pays you for this cause Hobie refuses to take the money
Miguel is a name you hear a lot in passing but you’d luckily never met him (yet)
You have a feeling it wouldn’t end up well
Especially since you aren’t an “M.J” or Gwen
But you know for a fact if it did end up in a fight Hobie would be at your side
He’s not listening to some goth Garfield who thinks he’s automatically in charge of everyone just because he figured out multiverse travel first
Especially not when Hobie sees the guy has a few screws loose
He just has to wait for the right moment though
Besides, what’s more punk than sticking it to the man for someone you love?
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lunarliyah · 11 days
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Everyone’s favorite types of astrology posts..
Astrology observation’s 🤍
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By lunar liyah
Juno In Sagittarius people love to travel with their partner. Prefers someone that is out of state and sometimes even out the country. Their obsession with travel and exploring is also a huge part of their love language.
Moon/Mercury
🤝
Moon/Mars
Both experiencing major headaches. In fact, they get headaches easier than others. If they don’t eat enough or take long periods of time without eating can result in headaches. Being tired can cause headaches. Quicker than normal and typically more painful.
Aquarius placements can be some of the most delusional people. They can lack self awareness. They are be so opinionated on others and what they’re doing. They can try so hard to pick apart what others have going on. As soon as someone says “you” to them, defense mode.
Leo and Capricorns have very similar energy. Both can be very sure of themselves and what they want. Both are goal oriented. Having both Leo and Capricorn in a natal chart, specifically in the big three, makes someone very reliable and independent. (My favorite type of placements tbh lol) Both energy care about how they’re perceived, they don’t do anything without thought. Contrary to popular belief, Leo’s are very calculated people. All earth signs are calculated in different ways of course. Capricorns in particular have a way of playing chess and making sure that they do things that benefit them in the long run. As far as these energies being together in a relationship, perfect match. Leo being a fixed sign, this energy wants to make things work. They are not easy to give up on things and people. They make change happen if need be but only to keep the stability in their connection with others. At the end of the day you can summarize that as being loyal. Capricorns never leave people high and dry. They are straightforward with their ACTIONS. They are honest and if they care enough (lol) they’ll speak up. For the most part, they are showers. They show people how much they care. Which Leo’s loves. A doer, not someone who’s all talk. They’re the show off and the ones doing to talking! Not their partner. Capricorns are also very loyal as well. I personally love love love these two together. Power couple for real. Also makes the best of friends too!
Cardinal
These people are considered the scout. The leaders. What this means is when it comes to relationships, they are more upfront about what they want and what their needs are. They enjoy people to let them take the lead. They are not afraid of pursuing people they want in their life. Romantically or friendship wise. They’re more picky and they are definitely more independent. It doesn’t take them long to move on. (cancers.. yeah maybe a little different but once they’re gone, it no way possible for anyone to get the back) They shoot their shot directly and can even be flirty. They do not beat around the bush at all. They like to jump straight into things. Sometimes this does backfire. Moving too fast into things. Rushing even. Thinking too far ahead. Sometimes they can stress themselves out by thinking too much into the future or may even be seen as bossy. Or pushy even.
(Capricorn, Aries, Cancer, & Libra)
Mutable
These people are more inclined to fluctuate. They love having variety and options. They tend to not sit still, ever. Always on the go. Tend to go well with someone who helps balance them out. They are not the neatest people, yes even Virgos. These people are not that straightforward I’ve realized only when it comes to things they aren’t passionate about. In comparison for cardinal signs, it doesn’t take much for them to pursue anything. These people struggle with finishing project, ideas, etc. They can have an idea that they sit on for days (or forever). These people are very creative though. Don’t underestimate their creativity. They just need that push to execute and consistency.
(Pisces, Gemini, Virgo, & Sagittarius)
Fixed
These will be your most unconvincing, stubborn, my way or the highway type of people ever. They rarely change their minds. The way they’re used to something is how it will be for a long time. How they were raised shows up a lot in their adult life. These people enjoy routine. These people also love the thought of continuous things. These people don’t like forming deep relationships with new people. They will try to make things work. They will be very loyal people. Aquarius is known to be flaky. But they’ll be there for those who give them space and don’t conflict with their decisions and beliefs.
(Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, & Scorpio)
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Thank you all for reading. I’m open for doing synastry readings and natal chart readings all week. Make sure to book your reading in my bio. Again, thank you all for reading have a nice day!
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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 months
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My dear lgbt+ kids, 
So, you have been in a relationship for a while and you’re ready and eager to take the next step - but your partner isn’t. What now? 
The “next step” I’m referring to here could mean a lot of different things because relationships do not all follow one specific timeline (and also because my readers may be of wildly different ages and live in wildly different situations) but I am thinking of any “deepening our commitment” things here: for example introducing them to your friends or your family, moving in together or (if you are in a situation where that’s a legal possibility) even marriage or having a child together. 
Whatever the step actually looks like, you may have this romantic idea of “If they’re right for you, you’ll always naturally want to take these steps at the same time”… but that’s not really how relationships work in real life. Even in the healthiest relationship and even if you absolutely feel like they’re your soulmate, you may still disagree on when to take those steps or even on whether you want to take these steps at all. 
In fact, it’s uniquely frustrating if everything else is going well. If their refusal to meet your mom is just another point on the long list of behaviors that make you feel like they don’t really care about you, that’s also painful but it’s easier to give advice there: maybe you should think about breaking up. It’s tempting to believe that you can make them love you more if you move in with them or that they’ll treat you better once you get engaged, but that won’t work out. You can’t fix a broken relationship by deepening the commitment - commitment needs a stable foundation to grow. And this doesn’t only go for outright abusive relationships: they may be a wonderful person but you two just have entirely different goals and needs, and those won’t suddenly overlap more just because you moved in with them or married them. 
With all that being said: if there IS a healthy and stable foundation, if you are happy in every other aspect and they’re just hesitant about this one specific step, then jumping straight to “break up with them” would obviously be pretty unhelpful advice. Differing opinions occur even in the most compatible couple, you are both whole people with your own individual feelings and those do not necessarily doom the whole relationship. It’s important to see this situation in the context of the relationship in general. 
You may be able to guess that a big portion of the advice is just gonna be “Communicate with your partner” - but first of all, I’d advise you to have an open and honest conversation with yourself. Why is this step of commitment so important to you? What does it mean to you? Do you feel a sense of urgency in taking it and if so, why? Is this specific step the only possible path for your need to be met? Are you open to alternative approaches, are you open to waiting (and if so, for how long)? The purpose of these questions is definitely not to convince yourself to give up on your needs or to talk yourself into a compromise you’re not really happy with! The opposite of that, actually: It’s helpful to reflect on what exactly you want and why you want it, so you have the clarity you need to discuss it productively. You don’t want to agree to something that ultimately leaves you unsatisfied and bitter, but you also don’t want to push hard for something you later on realize doesn’t even mean that much to you. 
When you feel confident enough about your own stance to discuss it with your partner, the most important thing to remember is: you’re on the same team. The goal here isn’t to “win” or to change their mind, but to see each others perspective better and find a solution you’re both happy with. Listen with an open mind. Try to understand before you try to influence. Remind yourself that your partner isn’t your enemy, they also want the best outcome for both of you - otherwise you (hopefully) wouldn’t want to commit to them! 
Something you should get clarification on during your conversations: is it a hard no (do not want to do that at all ever), a soft no (open to alternatives or adjustments), a no for now (want to do it but not yet), a yes but (want to do it but only under certain circumstances or in a different way than your original plan) or a I don’t know? How does this affect your feelings on the situation? (I’m sure that even just while reading these different scenarios, some instinctively feel better or worse than others! But it’s still important to take some time to sit with any new information that comes up during those conversations. Neither of you should feel pressured or rushed here!) 
You may find that they just never considered that there may be multiple approaches to that step (an example for this would be that they are not actually opposed to the idea of being married to you, just to the idea of a wedding, and didn’t consider yet that eloping is also a possibility) - but don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting the conversation to 100% go that way. It may also be a hard no, and that wouldn’t make them a horrible person. People can deeply, truly love someone and still do not want to take certain steps with them. It’s a good idea to remind yourself that you’re not “in the right” or “the better person” for wanting to take those steps. While certain steps may be a big part of your own future plans or even of your identity and self-image (and that’s valid!), they are just personal preferences. It’s not a moral obligation to want them, and your partner isn’t mean for not wanting them. But, of course, at this point we also need to say: if you can not imagine a life where you never get married, you are not a horrible person for breaking up with a partner who can not imagine to ever marry. “Irreconcilable differences” are a common breakup reason for a reason. 
So, to summarize: Building a strong foundation is crucial before taking big steps. Communicate openly with yourself first - understand why you want to take this step and if there are alternatives. When talking to your partner, remember you're a team; it's not about winning but understanding each other. Be open to different responses, from a clear no to conditions on a yes. Do not pressure your partner but do not completely give up on your own happiness either. 
The journey of commitment should be a shared adventure - not a battle or a competitive race! 
With all my love, 
Your Tumblr Dad 
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lina-studen · 1 month
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"something floral": literature student blabbering about the usage of flower symbolism in "nevermore", how it ties to the theme of insanity and a little bit (a lot) about shakespeare.
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from lenore's perspective, flowers are closely associated with isolation caused by her trauma and supposed "hysteria". floral pattern wallpaper accompanied her loneliness for days, months, even years. image of the flowers signaled that lenore's position would remain unchanged, that she was stuck, that she would continue to slowly loosing the clarity of her mind.
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having torn the wallpaper off the walls, lenore believes that she will never see this image again, but flowers continue to accompanying her. lenore sees them again during her first meeting with annabel lee. and during the last one, too. she may have managed to get out of her lonely room, gain more strength in her legs, find a new friend, but lenore is still trapped. she's the daughter disowned by her parents, a stain on the family reputation that must be hidden forever. the image of flowers doesn't let her forget about it.
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similar symbolism is also not alien to annabel lee. episode 66 is interesting in particular, because it directly quotes ophelia's monologue. I'm a big fan of shakespeare, it was he who instilled in me an interest in floral symbolism. a year ago, for a conference on foreign literature, I wrote an article about flower language of "hamlet". it's not available in english, but I'll list down some points that I considered relevant regarding "nevermore".
• rosemary can serve as a keepsake between lovers and also between the dead and the living. it could be seen at both weddings and funerals. in the old days it was also believed to be helpful in mental illnesses treatment.
• pansies, just like violets, symbolize innocence and devotion. ophelia doesn't consider the people around her worthy of violets, since she blames them for the death of her father.
• rue is a symbol of eternal suffering; grieving over her murdered father and the loss of her beloved hamlet, ophelia leaves some of the flowers for herself.
• the image of daisies has a close connection with the concepts of innocence, fidelity and eternal love. in shakespeare's tragedy, this symbol is overshadowed by the fact that in the world around ophelia there's no place for these beautiful things. for "nevermore" the symbol is also not so positive, since the readers are already familiar with daisies. they were on that wallpaper in lenore's room.
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it's impossible not to note that annabel lee recites the monologue while in the bath, in the water. ophelia decides not to resist the river flow. her life turned into a tragedy: she was left without a father, her lover has seemingly lost his mind. her own sanity is also called into question. ophelia sings cryptic songs, goes into the field to weave a wreath, gives flowers to other characters. in the eyes of those around them, hamlet and ophelia seem crazy, while being the only sane and honest people among them. there's no place for tender, innocent ophelia in a cruel, deceitful world, so she drowns.
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annabel lee also reflects on how both she and lenore are considered madwomen. her meeting with "leo" is accompanied by floral pattern on the annabel's dress. their madness is contextual, they both are perfectly sane, but don't fit into the system that could be leading to real madness with time. "all madwomen die twice. at least twice".
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now about the arboretum. it obviously has a lot of flowers, but in my opinion this place is interesting in a different context. lenore and annabel visited the arboretum twice to discuss upcoming plans and such, and there are many parallels, both visual and narrative. not much time has passed since last time, but their situation has changed. they seem to look on their past selves from the upper level, having their conflict more acute now. I'll make a more detailed post about it later.
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and now I'll just focus on how the characters in this arboretum full of roses behave as lost and confused as in the phobia-inducing flower labyrinth from earlier episodes. “the closer you get to beautiful flowers, the closer you get to their thorns,” says duke in episode 38. the flower imagery haunting the main characters doesn't let them forget that their sanity is always on a verge of slipping. and once a flower falls from its stem, it cannot be fixed.
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p.s. guess which writer’s works I chose for a new article this year?
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whateversawesome · 1 month
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About Twiyor, Damianya and Chapter 96
Let me start by saying that, I like both stories and that both ships are great precisely because they're so different:
Twiyor is a relationships between two adults. Is it developing slowly? Yes, of course. The slow-pacing of the relationship is what makes it so real. Here's why:
Entering a relationship as an adult, and I mean any kind of relationship (romantic, friendship, or even work relationship) can be tricky. Why? Well, adults have more experience, they've seen and gone through more things, the carry psychological issues, and, in some cases (like Twilight's) trauma. All this makes it difficult to open up and trust people. Twight's character arch is precisely about trust and vulnerability and that's one of the issues that pushes the story forward.
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So, even though I would love to see Twiyor kiss like in many fics, this will take time. Maybe it's not as obvious because there's not a lot of physical contact between them (yet 😏), but there's definitely progress in their relationship (more on that here and here).
The development of their relationship is so beautiful! Can you see it too? On one side, we have a man who lost everything and thinks of himself only as a tool for peace slowly regaining his humanity through love. On the other hand, we have an innocent woman turned into a weapon, who is slowly realizing she's much more than that, and getting to know herself while falling in love. Come on!!! You don't want to miss that!
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Even though it may take a while to get there, I think it's one of those things worth the wait.
Now Damianya in my opinion is about innocence and the development of a deep friendship.
Talking specifically about chapter 96, to me, it makes sense that Anya's secret slipped out. I don't think she consciously decided to tell Damian. I believe it just kind of slipped out because:
1.It's easier for kids to trust other kids and open up.
2. This is the second time Damian guessed her secret.
3. They are kindred spirits; they both were "abandoned" children (Anya while she was in the orphanage, Damian by his family) and they both seek the approval and love of their father.
4. She often uses her abilities in front of Damian and he pays enough attention to her to realize something is off.
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Let me ask you something: have you ever been forced to keep a secret?
Keeping a secret is a heavy burden, isn't it? Can you imagine a 5 year old carrying that kind of burden for so long? It doesn't help that Anya was returned to the orphanage by several different families. It's implied in the story that Anya used her telepathic abilities and the other families considered her too strange too keep her. This is the reason why Anya has kept quiet: she doesn't want to be abandoned again.
Still, it must be hard for her to carry that and to feel that people wouldn't accept her exactly for who she is if they knew about her secret. So, I'm happy she was able to tell someone. In some ways, her arch is similar to Twilight's: Anya is also learning it's okay for people to see her real self and trust they will still love her. I hope that in the future, Anya learns that she can trust her parents too and I think trusting someone else is a big step into that direction.
I know it will also take some time, but I can't wait for both stories (and all the stories) in sxf to merge into one. It'll be a very exciting time or everyone when that happens.
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sissa-arrows · 4 months
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by settler/coloniser do you mean like, west bank settlers and the like (i mean actively settling or whatever. i hope you understand what im trying to say) or like all descendants of settlers who may no longer have a settler role like idk some guy in jaffa whose grandparents were settlers but he himself is just. a guy and doesn't own property etc etc.
asking bc in the first sense i fully agree with you but i saw too many leftists embrace a practically ethnic definition of coloniser which i find rather disagreeable
ps this is not meant to be like an attack i am curious
First of all this is how I personally view things and I’m Algerian not Palestinian so my definition is not a rule. At the end of the day my opinion, our collective opinions don’t matter in the scale compared to Palestinians’ opinions. I’m still choosing to answer because I don’t think Palestinians should carry that burden alone BUT if a Palestinian read this and think I’m overstepping send me a DM I will delete my post without any arguing.
Now to answer the actual question. All Israelis are settlers excluding the rare Palestinians who have the citizenship but then those are Palestinians not Israelis. Settlers = colonizers = non indigenous people permanently living in a settler colony.
The difference between the settler in the West Bank and the settler in Jaffa is not that it’s them doing the settling or their grandparents. Both live on stolen land that does not belong to them and never will. So both are settlers. The difference is somewhere else. The settler in the West Bank is fucked. He is unredeemable because he is doing the colonizing himself right now. He should leave that’s the only option. Now the guy in Yaffa there’s more nuance to it.
That guy whose grandparents were settlers and therefore stole Palestinian land… he is still living on stolen land even if he is not a land owner even if he didn’t do the stealing himself… he is still benefiting from settler colonialism. He doesn’t get to just wash his hands and pretend he is not involved because his grandparents did it not him.
Is he actively fighting against Israeli colonialism? Is he in favor of giving ALL the land back to indigenous people aka Palestinians with the right of return for the Palestinian refugees and one single Palestinian country where those who fought for its liberation could stay and live with equal rights regardless of religion? If the answer is yes he is still a settler BUT he is a redeemable settler he can get rid of his status of settler by helping get rid of settler colonialism. If the answer is no if he just sits there thinking the status quo is good enough thinking the problem is Netanyahu or any other politician when the real problem is Israel itself because it’s a settler colony, then he is a settler AND he can go fuck himself too.
Living in a settler colony as a non indigenous person means that you cannot be neutral. You cannot just exist. You are either a settler trying to end settler colonialism (and in the process put an end to your status as a settler) or a settler supporting settler colonialism.
The “suitcases carriers” I mentioned. They were still settlers (excluding the mainlanders who helped Algerians in France). They just made the right decision and stood for the liberation of Algeria. That decision led to the end of French settler colonialism which put an end to their settler status. By fighting to end settler colonialism they freed themselves of being settlers. It even allowed those who wanted to stay to do so and stay as Algerians.
Lastly I want to add that a settler colony cannot create people who do not have racist bias against the indigenous people of the land they occupy. So one also needs to actively work to unlearn those bias because even settlers who fight for the liberation of indigenous people have those bias.
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blacknedsoul-blog · 2 months
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A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD
So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.
Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?
But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:
I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.
In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.
I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.
You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.
If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.
If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.
Anyway, let's get started.
What is ADHD?
According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:
Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.
Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.
Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.
Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.
Hyperactivity
One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.
In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.
Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.
Annabel.
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Doesn't.
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Sit.
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Still.
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Never.
It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.
This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.
Emotional Dysregulation
The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.
This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.
Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.
It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.
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Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.
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Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.
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And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.
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If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.
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We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.
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I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"
Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."
Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.
Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?
And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:
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Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.
Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).
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My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.
Codependency
Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.
As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.
The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.
This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.
But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.
The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.
And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?
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What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.
Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.
But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.
If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.
Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards
Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.
New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.
So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."
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One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.
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If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.
It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.
Erratic Communication
When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.
One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.
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Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.
That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.
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This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.
Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.
Drinks that are like a pill
Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.
And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.
Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.
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You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.
If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.
Boredom
We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.
Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.
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Boredom
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Is
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Fucking
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Murder
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Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.
Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)
In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.
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So…
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Um…
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…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.
Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.
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stolitzsings · 3 months
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This is a sort of response to a post I've seen floating around, drawing parallels between the chains in Blitz’s trip that bind him to Stolas and the chains that bind Husk, Angel, and Fizz to Alastor, Valentino, and Mammon respectively. I'm not commenting on that post directly bc I avoid Discourse (tm) at all costs for the sake of my health, and I don’t want to get drawn into an unproductive argument that will mess with my anxiety for a week. I'm not trying to start a fight, just get my thoughts out on why I feel that comparison is inaccurate, and hopefully provide some helpful context and nuance.
So! Let's start with a few disclaimers! First of all, I'm not going to debate the moral purity of any of these characters. I just don't think it's an interesting or valuable critique. On a related note, I am not trying to excuse any of their behavior. I'm happy to admit that my favorite characters in this show have hurt people and are sometimes total assholes. Stolas treated Blitz very poorly at the beginning of their relationship, frequently pushed or even ignored boundaries, and was just kind of a dick about things. My objection to a direct comparison between Stolas and the other characters mentioned above isn't because I think Stolas hasn't done anything wrong; I just think that saying they're similar without further clarification or commentary ignores the nuance of the situation.
Read on below the cut, it's gonna be another long one folks!
Let's start by examining the "agreements" forged by Val, Mammon, and Alastor. I think it's important to note that, in their cases, the person they got to sign their contract could have been anyone. Husk and Angel could have been any sinners, Fizz could have been any imp. They aren't interested in them as people; they were only using them to gain more power for themselves. The only thing that matters to them is, "What can you do for me?" Angel and Fizz quite clearly become cogs in the machine of Val and Mammon's businesses, and Alastor only thinks of Husk as a tool to be leveraged in specific situations to further his own mysterious goals. Each of them has demonstrated to their subjugates that they own them, body and soul. They have signed legally and spiritually binding contracts that essentially surrender their autonomy to a more powerful demon.
Stolas and Blitz’s agreement is... not that. In the most literal sense, they don’t appear to have made any sort of binding deal. They just made a verbal agreement, which I sincerely doubt has anywhere near the force of a signed soul contract. Additionally, Stolas did not ask for and does not seem to want that sort of total control over Blitz. He very clearly does not view this as any sort of power exchange (which may actually be part of the issue, since it leaves him blind to Blitz’s discomfort with their class difference), he sees it as "favors for favors." While this agreement is inherently unbalanced due to Stolas's status, it's worth noting that they’re both putting something on the line here. The other three risk practically nothing (if the person bound to them fails they can always get a new one), but Stolas IS taking on a real risk by letting Blitz access the living world illegally using his book. Again, that doesn't make his actions right, and probably helped him to justify them, but it does set their relationship apart from the others.
In my opinion, some of Stolas's greatest flaws are his thoughtlessness and his ability to justify his own actions to himself. This manifests in the fact that he clearly doesn't see the ways in which their relationship is hurting Blitz. He convinced himself that this was just an equal exchange, and a continuation of the dynamic Blitz established in their first encounter as adults: "I fuck you, and you give me the book". As he becomes more aware of his feelings for Blitz, though (stay tuned for a deeper analysis of this progression later), he also begins to realize that Blitz isn't happy with this relationship. And this, as @masonshmason pointed out, is the central fact that separates Stolas and Blitz from the other relationships. Stolas did not realize- or chose to ignore- how he was hurting Blitz. Once he came to terms with it, though, he understood that he had to make things right. He specifically says this in "Just Look My Way"; "I will try to make amends/ For making you means to an end". None of the others could say this, because in their case, that was the POINT. Angel, Fizz, and Husk were ALWAYS a means to an end, intentionally trapped for that purpose.
We also need to talk about the CONTEXT of the scenes in which the chain imagery appears. For both Angel and Husk, the chain is at least semi-literal, a physical (and perhaps supernatural) manifestation of the way their souls are bound to an overlord. In "Two Minutes Notice," Fizz purposely CHOOSES to represent his relationship to Mammon as chains around his wrists. However, Blitz's scene is part of a drug trip after being forcibly dosed with hallucinogens. It does not exist in any literal sense, nor is it a representation of Blitz’s conscious, literal thoughts. What it DOES do is showcase Blitz’s deepest fears and his greatest flaws through symbolism and metaphor. Blitz is not literally afraid of being forced to wear a clown costume; he is afraid he'll never escape his past traumas or Fizz's shadow. THIS is the context in which Blitz sees himself being chained by Stolas: a bad trip all about his fear of intimacy and vulnerability.
Stolas appears in this trip as someone elevated high above him, something he's climbing towards, reaching for, even though it means being chained to him. It's directly preceded by his ex girlfriend and his former best friend berating him for how he pushes people away even though he hates being alone. Then Stolas directly asks him, "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" Furthermore, the WAY in which he is framed is alluring, slightly hazy, golden and tempting. It couldn’t be further from the ugly, slime-covered past he's fleeing. It's a new start, a chance for something better that seems too good to be true. This trip is all about Blitz’s inability to be vulnerable with another person. The chain around his neck is a representation of the fact that, by getting closer to Stolas, he's giving Stolas the power to hurt him emotionally.
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And man, there's a part of him that wants to give Stolas that power. At this critical moment, he's not baring his teeth in defiance or anger. He's blushing, just slightly, and he looks... nervous. Blitz's instinct, when things get too real, is to cut and run. Hurt them before they can hurt you. Abandon them before they have the chance to leave you. It’s how he tanked his relationship with Verosika. This is a manifestation of what might happen if he stays. This is the sort of trouble he can't fight his way out of.
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This is the emotional climax of the scene. There are so many ways they could have gone with this if they wanted to represent Blitz being chained and trapped by his agreement with Stolas. If that was the fear--if that was the POINT--they could have had the chains wrap around him until he couldn't move, or glow white hot and burn into his skin, or a million other more direct metaphors. But the chains aren't the thing that hurts him. It's the feathers: the thing that's left behind after Stolas abandons him, sing-songing "you're going to die alone" right alongside two other people who he loved and who now want nothing to do with him.
Finally, let's look at Blitz’s reaction to this scene. It's a moment of revelation for him, in which he realizes he's pushing everyone away and starts to make an effort to change. It's why he's a bit more open with Moxxie in the next scene. The trip sequence ALSO inspires him to get closer to Stolas, indicating that the trip didn’t make him realize "I'm trapped and I need to get out of this" in the same way Fizz did. Rather, he realizes that he doesn't want Stolas to leave him like everyone else, and he wants to start feeling out what it would be like to deepen the connection between them. As I've mentioned in other posts, their kiss at the end of "truth seekers" represents a level of intimacy that we haven't seen before; it's teasing, affectionate, shows Blitz’s interest in making Stolas happy, and takes place in front of M&M, who have repeatedly teased him about their relationship before.
In summary, while the image of chains may have been invoked in all four of these relationships, they don’t necessarily mean the same thing across the board. Blitz and Stolas's relationship differs substantially from the others in its dynamic, and the context of their scene also sets it apart. It's important to look into the details and the nuance of their relationship to interpret what's going on under layers of trauma and unreliable narration.
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genderkoolaid · 4 months
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i am genuinely confused by something you said in your joan of arc post & i would love if you could clarify. you said "women afab can be trans. men amab can be trans." i understand how that applies to intersex people, who may be assigned a sex they identify with but have other sex characteristics that they get dysphoria from. or theyre assigned as one sex but once puberty hit they developed far more traits of the other sex, so they had to transition back to what they used to be. i understand those scenarios. but as far as we know, joan of arc wasnt intersex & you dont bring up intersex in your post. how can a non-intersex person transition to something they already are & have been for their entire life? changing how one presents, like changing their style of clothes to better suit their gender & personality, doesnt count as "transitioning" imo, cis people do that aaall the time, multiple times throughout their lives. so what do you actually mean by this??
So my definition of trans is very much inspired by Leslie Feinberg's definition of trans(gender): An umbrella term for "everyone who challenges the boundaries of sex and gender," in which ze specifically includes cross-dressing and GNC people who are men AMAB and women AFAB. I would define trans as being inclusive of anyone who queers sex and/or gender.
In my humble nonbinary opinion, we way over-rely on the idea of trans as being about identifying as a gender that isn't your assigned sex. I, for example, was assigned female and identify as (amongst other genders) a woman, but my womanhood is very much trans. For one, I was on T for two years and intend to get bottom surgery, but I was also alienated from typical cis girlhood for my entire life and my womanhood is inherently tied to me also being a man and abinary. My womanhood is not cisnormative at all.
"Woman" and "man" (and male and female) are all constructs. Just because someone may call themself a woman, and have been assigned female at birth, does not mean they identify as the same kind of woman that society expects and demands them to. There are different ways of constructing womanhood. The "gender identity that isn't AGAB" definition was built on the idea of trans people as going from one binary point to the other, with the assumption that "woman" and "man" are still Real Things with one natural meaning. Attempts at being nb-inclusive have basically just said "well nonbinary isn't a gender assigned at birth, so its trans!" which is completely true, but it also ignores all the nonbinary and genderqueer people whose genders are more nuanced than that.
On Jeanne d'Arc specifically, I actually have some relevant quotes on this:
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(from Vested Interests: Crossdressing and Cultural Anxiety and Clothing and Gender Definition: Joan of Arc respectively)
This is why I included that line: because we often assume, in our exorsexism, that a historical figure must identify as a man/woman (cis), as the opposite (trans), or maybe as neither, but those are the only options. We are still limiting ourselves and these historical figures' by limiting how we understand gender and genderqueerness. To Jeanne, being a cross-dressing female virgin soldier could be its own gender, something different than the genders of cisnormative mothers and nuns.
& as a note: I feel like, a lot of the time, non-intersex people in the community will make exceptions for intersex people (like "well, intersex people can be transfemmascs/male lesbians/etc" but no one else!!!") which. doesn't actually seem that great for intersex people? Like aside from assuming that these genderqueer experiences can only be had by intersex people, it also means that if you identify that way, you must Prove that you are Allowed to be doing that, by both outing yourself as intersex and arguing that you are intersex Enough.
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balsalmic-vinegar · 1 month
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I'm so sick and tired of the Demon Brothers judging Mammon. Like, calling him scumbag and worthless. Do they not realize that words hurt? That their words might actually have an affect on mammon that they may not realize? Like, omg I know it's a game, but god fucking damn. Let my poor baby have a break :(
He's trying his fucking hardest, but he stills gets so much shit from his brothers. HIS BROTHERS. Of all people (or demons ig). Like be so fucking for real.
In my opinion, Mammon is the demon closest to regaining his title as an angel. He's never used his demon form on MC and hasn't even threatened it. He's never harmed them. But all of the other brothers have (besides maybe Asmo and Beel, but still). Anyways, PLEASE LET MY SWEET BABY BOY BREATHEEEE
edit: i know he’s not innocent, i’m not saying he is. he does steal their things to sell them, and so in those situations it is deserved. however, all the times he’s called an idiot and stupid when all he’s trying to do is talk, i think is a bit much. and i don’t he should be strung up as often as he is, bc that can be considered abusive. i’m just saying that all the name calling and degradation can’t be good for his mental health
edit (again): this was supposed to be a silly little rant and wasnt supposed to be taken too seriously. and i’m sorry if any of you who come across it find it offensive or inaccurate. these are just my personal opinions and you don’t have to agree. i respect that you may feel differently on the matter, and i respect different thoughts and opinions on it. so all i ask is that you respect mine as well. but i am open to further discussion on the topic if any of you would like to have one. my dms are open! :3 <3
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fawnfictions · 1 month
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i know there’s a lot of this same prompt on this app but i love your writing and i would love to see it from you <33
OK!! Macaque and Wukong with a gender natural reader which simply LOVES their fur and gets really clingy on their tail and ear(s for macaque :3), treating them like a literal plushie
monkie plush!
— wukong & macaque, gn!reader
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i feel the need to personally apologise for how many months it took for me to post this <//3 i've been SO SLOW recently,, i can't guarantee i'll be getting any faster, either
heheuwudhhey!! none of u should worry about sending me an ask with a 'common' prompt—just because someone else has done it before, doesn't mean i won't want to write it!!! i like giving ppl my own opinion on these sorts of headcanons LOL
;; fluff, fluff, and more fluff!! (+mention of something more spicy, but nothing explicit)...
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WUKONG
- he RELISHES in any affection you give him, and he isn't afraid to show it.
- you'll come up behind him, embrace him while rubbing your face in his fur, and he will MELT.
- leans back into your arms, wrapping his tail around you to pull you even closer; and, if you're listening closely, you might hear quiet purring.
- honestly, he'll do the same to you — compared to monkey hair, human hair is VERY soft and feels very nice :3
- cuddles between you two are just constantly rubbing your faces in each others hair.
- i can also imagine that his tail would be sensitive, as most monkey's tails are...
- be careful, though, because certain areas of his tail are more sensitive than others — you may run into a situation you didn't mean to...
- ...ANYWAYS
- while i can imagine him being the big spoon a majority of the time, he could TOTALLY be a little spoon.
- he enjoys being able to hold YOU, since he likes feeling in control, and as if he's protecting you, but he'll happily sit back and let you cuddle him.
- play with his hair, twirl his tail, brush him...
- tbh, the other monkeys would probably join you a lot, interpreting it as a grooming session.
- me and the boys [monkeys], grooming each other on a sunday morning.
- he will complain, though, if you don't let him cuddle YOU sometimes.
- you two are almost sickening with the amount of PDA you show; cue MK pretending to puke in the background, but Wukong does have SOME decency, and will get a little embarrassed if you take it too far.
- if you're both out in public, chilling in Megapolis or something, and you start rubbing your face in his fur and cooing at him? he'll go red pretty quickly, and shyly respond with small affections in an attempt to sate your clinginess for now.
- this especially goes for being around people he feels the need to keep a reputation up with — like, the brotherhood, although most of them would laugh it off, they'll tease him for it at some point, or anyone from the celestial realm.
- he'll make it up to you later with plenty of cuddles, but for now? he's gotta look cool and tough in front of lil' old Nezha /j
MACAQUE
- hes touch starved as hell (we all know it).
- BUT he gets shy when it comes to affection, but he's hypocritical about it...
- constantly drapes himself over your shoulders, resting his head on top of your own when he gets the chance, etc etc.
- however, if you DARE even try to hug him, he's gonna get real nervous.
- doesn't know how to properly relax at your touch; he may not exactly move away from you, but he won't lean into it (at first).
- this especially goes for PDA – he loves you, but not now; he's gotta look cool and mysterious at all times.
- if you're with people that he lets his guard down around, he'll be a bit more playful with you.
- he notices you attempting to sneak behind him for a cuddle attack? next thing you know, theres a familiar cape-covered arm thrown over your shoulder, blocking your affection with his own with a teasing smile.
- he IS different when in private, though !!
- more willing to give in to your touches, but it is clear that he's unsure how to feel about it.
- after a while, though, i feel that he would learn to find a lot of comfort in your hands ?
- like, if he's had a rough day, he'll probably seek you out to be showered in affection,, in a way, it makes him feel very loved and worthy.
- he's such a little spoon too, i'm sorry LOL
- but he has his confident days, just ask and he'll be happy to be the one holding you instead.
- it took a while for him to be comfortable with normal affection, yeah? well, it's gonna take even LONGER for him to be comfortable with touching his ears, let alone losing the glamour on them.
- the day he lets his glamour down around you, is the day he's decided that you're stuck with him forever, sorry to break it to you...
- his ears are VERY sensitive, so please be careful, he's very cautious with you touching them.
- but he'll never admit how nice it feels for you to massages his ears, especially with how much stress they give him from the loud noises in the city (not that you can't tell, he's practically melted into your lap and would ABSOLUTELY be purring if he could).
- overall, it takes time, and he won't ever be fully comfortable with PDA, but he's a big softie in private <3
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monakisu · 3 months
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How did the cat tank arc make you like torisai?? Isn't that the chapter where Toritsuka literally betrays him and doesn't believe in him at all, until Saiki shows how unconditionally kind he is despite the betrayal?? And then he still says he has a shitty personality afterward...
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TOXIC YAOI BABY!!!! 
saiki will diss toritsuka as much as he wants, will drone over and over how the author should just go ahead and kill off what's obviously deadweight—yet when the chance for precisely that comes, he still risks life and limb to keep this nuisance safe... and toritsuka will whine and whinge abt saiki-san's hardass rules but he still thinks of him as a god?? "our god has returned!!"—i think that's what he cheered when saiki's powers came back, lol? he clearly worships saiki as some super powerful entity/deity, yet he still has the audacity to beg him for dumbass pervert favors... i've never witnessed this breed of worshipper before... fascinating specimen. 
their relationship has a sort of an "enemies to lovers" flavor, except in this case it's more like "haters to enemies to haters again with a tad bit more understanding for each other". at this point, toritsuka mayyy be saiki's closest confidant? arguably the one who knows saiki the best! (subconsciously. he's too dumb to consciously realize it.) he'll likely be one of the first people saiki turns to whenever he needs help, which sucks because toritsuka is sorta useless, power and personality-wise HAHAHA
also toritsuka is probably the only (non-familial) person saiki is so flat-out MEAN to! it's hilarious!! yknow how romantic partners are supposed to bring the best out of each other? Not Happening Here. in the slimy presence of toritsuka, saiki is at his most honest but also his worst. toritsuka is the antithesis to the emotional support puppies zookeepers will pair anxious cheetahs with; he's more like........................
lice.
yeah. he's the lice in saiki's fur. plainly speaking, he's a pest!!!
also toritsuka's betrayal was sorta necessary in my opinion, because this guy's too damn dumb to learn a lesson the normal way. he absolutely needs to be put into Situations in order to walk away with at least a teeny tiny sliver of character growth. and i definitely credit a huge part of his betrayal to kusuke's psychological warfare. pitting a super-human cambridge genius against a sub-human highschool dumbass... poor, pathetic toritsuka never stood a chance!! still, the resentment he'd been harboring definitely also contributed to his backstabbing. howeveeer, now that he's seen firsthand saiki's affection for him, that resentment has vanished! he's been shaken to his core!! the worship has been amplified to the MAX!!!
lastly, i just think it's hopelessly hideously HYSTERICAL to have the world's worst womanizer fall in love with a man!! and have the world's most sexless guy fall in love with a future sex offender!!! they're so fundamentally incompatible it loops back around to being compatible?! it's a real comedy. tragedy. tragicomedy. (saiki and toritsuka would doubtlessly view it as a tragedy)
lastly-lastly: height difference. that is all.
thanks sending for this ask! it let me think (<< very rare) and put into words why i actually like torisai besides "hehehe hater x hater". writing all of this made me like it even more!! but i think this may have made you despise it more? oops. my tastes are strange and off-putting. i mean, kusuke is literally my favorite saiki character, after saiki himself... that's gotta tell you something.
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