#Corded headsets for phones

[yeonzzzn]

Jake (your roommate) who has oral fixation who can't help but want to suck on your nipples and clit anytime and anywhere he wants (in school, in his car, in cafes, in your dorm). And as the helpful roommate, you try to wear clothes that would give him easy access all the time.

-🪻 hiiii i misseddd putting req here 🥹🫶

hi again🪻anon🥰 i’ve missed your reqs🥹🫶🏻 oral fixation jake has me weeeaaaaakkkk😮‍💨 I kinda went off the deep end with this one. I couldn’t help myself. this request is so *chefs kiss* and bless kay for helping me with the title for this 🤭😘💍

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taste of you: sim jaeyun

pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: 2.9k

For as long as you’ve known your roommate, he’s always had an oral fixation even before he became your roommate too. 

You and Jake attended the same college. You would always pass him in the hallways on Mondays and Wednesdays and have Chemistry with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Man always had something in his mouth to chew on. 

Gum, the ends of his pens and pencils, the bottle cap to his water bottle, straws from his drinks, the plastic spoons, knives, and forks from lunch, the strings to his hoodie, the plastic on his cup if he didn’t have a straw, and hell, even his fingers if there wasn’t anything else. You could tell just from staring at him across the lecture hall that he had this fixation. 

Fate brought the two of you together when you posted an ad on the campus bulletin board about looking for a roommate after your old one moved out. Jake was the first to respond to the ad, and since you already knew him, you disregarded the other applications. Jake was moved in within a week. 

His oral fixation was a lot worse than you thought and was tame while on campus. Jake had the same normal habits on the things he chewed but added a few things: his shirt while sitting on the couch watching TV or playing on the PlayStation. The cord to his headset when he played on his PC in his bedroom. The cord to his phone while it charged and he was scrolling through social media. Your fingers, lips, tongue, nipples, and clit. 

Crazy, right? It didn’t start that way, his mouth on your body parts. It wasn’t a thought in either of your minds until you came home one afternoon after work and took a shower, not bothering to put a bra on afterward, letting the girls have some time to breathe. So you walked around in your shorts and oversized tee shirt. Jake returned home a couple of hours later from soccer practice, wanting nothing more than a nice shower and a good meal. So you told him to shower and that you’d cook for him. Jake couldn’t hide the smile had, being so happy and lucky you were his roommate. 

Jake didn’t even notice you weren’t wearing a bra until you stood from where you sat on the couch, your nipples poking through your white shirt. The hoodie string Jake had in his mouth fell out as his eyes were glued to your chest, watching how grazed your shirt as you walked around the couch and towards the kitchen. Jake quickly jumped up and rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it. Splashing his face with the water of his shower, trying to push the thoughts of your perfect nipples being in his mouth. The way he would bite, lick, and suck on them. 

Jake had to lean his body against the cool of the tile wall to get his body temperature down but failed miserably as his thoughts continued to run in his brain. Thinking about the ways your cunt would ride his cock as his mouth worked on your tits. Before Jake knew it his hand was wrapped around his hard cock, biting his lips to keep from moaning as he pumped himself til his cum was dripping down his hand. Jake prayed and prayed that once he was out of the shower you could have put on a bra. Because it’s an asshole move to think about your roommate like that, right? It crosses your boundaries and that’s the last thing Jake wanted to do. 

But to his dismay, you still stood in the kitchen…braless. Once you noticed he was out of the shower, you called him over, “Jae, I made pasta for dinner and this cake for dessert. Come try the icing and tell me what you think?” 

Jake swallowed, knees weak as he slowly walked over to you. Your long hair was now pulled into a loose ponytail and oh man was it driving Jake up a wall. His eyes wandered everywhere, to your nipples, your earlobes, and the cute spot between your shoulder and neck. His mouth watered as he looked back and forth, wanting to pin you to the kitchen counter and place his mouth all over those parts. His dick was hardening and he was doing everything to try and keep you from noticing. 

You got a spoon from the drawer and scooped up some of the icing and held it to his mouth, “Say ahh!” you said cutely, taking notice of the small pink tint on his cheeks as he slowly opened his mouth taking the spoon in. 

Jake’s eyes widened as you pulled the spoon away, “Goddamn, YN, this is fantastic!” Jake loved your cooking and baking. It made him even more excited to eat the pasta and have a dessert to look forward to. 

You noticed some of the icing was on the edge of his lips, you giggled softly and reached up, “You’re so messy,” you teased him, taking your index finger and sliding it across the edge of his lip. 

The moment you touched him it was over. The feeling of your finger on his lips even if it was just the slightest touch sent him into a frenzy, his mouth was opening, head tilting to the side to wrap his lips around your finger, his tongue licking up the icing you wiped away and then sucking on it. His eyes closed tightly as he softly grazed your finger with his teeth. Jake didn’t know what came over him, but the moment he realized what he was doing his eyes shot back open and connected to yours. 

You weren’t surprised and showed no sign that it bothered you that he was currently sucking on your finger. Instead, you gave him a small smile, inching your middle finger to his lips. Jake was the surprised one but opened his mouth anyway, letting you slip your middle in with your index. 

You always teased Jake about his oral fixation, always giving him some type of hell for chewing up specific things. Like the amount of phone chargers you’ve had to rebuy him, and the amount of headsets Jake had to get replaced from chewing on the cords. The amount of gum packets that lay around the apartment just for him. You found it cute to tease him. And you never knew you wanted your fingers in his mouth until right now. Which is why it didn’t bother you. Honestly, your fingers were better than the cords and other plastic things that would eventually ruin his pretty teeth anyway. 

You’d be lying if it didn’t turn you on. Jake was hoping for it, truly. Keeping eye contact with you as he wraps his tongue around your fingers, sucking on them and biting them softly. If you continued to let him chew on your fingers, he was going to lose all control. 

“I know you want to do more than just suck on my fingers,” you whispered to him. You already knew he was hard as a rock and your panties were soaking, “Why don’t you take what you actually want?” 

Jake didn’t hesitate to pull your fingers from his mouth, his lips attaching to yours and sucking on your bottom lip as his hands slid to your thighs, picked you up, and set you down on the countertop, biting hard on your lip, “Give me your tongue,” he hisses between his grip on your lip and only let go once he saw the muscle slide out of your mouth and taking it in his. Jake was in pure bliss getting his oral fixation off on something other than random small items. His cock twitched hard at it too. It was everything he could have wanted. 

As he continued to suck and bite your tongue, his hands slipped under your shirt and slid up, his hands stopping at your tits to rub at your nipples, making them perk up more. You knew Jake was preparing them for his mouth, his skin sending a chill down your spine and goosebumps on your skin, hardening your nipples even more, “fffuuuccckkkk,” he hisses after releasing your tongue from his mouth, dipping down in the same movement of lifting your shirt over your breasts and attaching his mouth to your right nipple as his left hand continued to pinch at your other nipple. 

You moaned his name and gripped his shoulders as his tongue flicked your nipple, as his teeth bit down on the sensitive nub and lips wrapped around it to suck. He moved back and forth between the two, not leaving one out. You already knew your cunt was soaking the countertop and you think Jake knew too. Mostly by the way his hands moved to cup your ass and slide underneath you. He let out a groan against your nipple before removing his mouth and scooped you up, quickly turning in the other direction and laying you down on top of the kitchen table. He kissed you again, sucking your bottom lip back into his mouth in the same motion of his fingers looping between your shorts and panties to pull them down. 

Jake sank to his knees as your shorts and panties hit the floor, him spreading your legs wide to give him better access to your cunt. His mouth watered at the sight of your sopping pussy, your slit dripping out your hole and onto the table. Fuck it was making him dizzy. 

“Fuck you’re so sexy,” he breathes, sticking his tongue out to lick up your hole to your clit, stopping there to take the bud between his teeth and lips. Jake sucked, licked, and bit your clit until you came into his mouth. He didn’t even stop there, no no. He wanted you. Wanted his shower fantasy to come true. So he pulls you from the table and onto the floor with him, quickly removing his sweatpants and boxers and moving you into his lap. 

You rode him as his mouth worked on your nipples again, moving between them both and stopping every few minutes to kiss you and suck on your lips. You even shoved your fingers into his mouth a few times as you fucked him. This kept going until you came again and he was cumming deep into your pussy. 

It was safe to say you both would have a major mess to clean up in the kitchen. And even have to reheat the pasta. 

This was only the start of Jake using you to get his oral fixation in. You gave him full permission to use you as he pleases to get his fix. Jake would be stupid to turn it down. 

It benefited both of you, truly. You both had the benefits of this new agreement. He would get his oral fixation and other sexual needs met, you’d also get your sexual needs met on top of saving money from having to replace the items he’d normally chew on. 

The only terms were he could only have your fingers and lips in public, but could have everything else in the safe space of your shared apartment, or either of your cars, or if no one else was around. 

Again, Jake would be an idiot to turn it down. 

He forced you to move to the back of the classroom room with him so he could suck on your fingers during lectures without anyone noticing and anytime he wanted. 

You’d sit in his car with him during lunch or before his soccer practice so he could make out with you and get his mouth on your tits. 

Then at the apartment? He’d spread your legs. 

One of Jake’s requirements was you having to wear specific clothing for him to have easy access to while at the apartment. Loose tee shirts with no bra. Any type of shorts or sweatpants or skirts with no panties underneath. 

It truly was a dream come true for Jake. The best roommate he could ask for. This whole dynamic worked for the two of you. Both parties were getting pleasure and their needs met while maintaining a good friendship with each other. It was perfect. So completely perfect. 

Your favorite thing was when Jake would return home from his other classes or work and immediately sink down to his knees in front of you saying, “I need your cunt in my mouth right now,” or lifting your shirt off your body instantly and saying, “I need your tits against my tongue.” Or your personal favorite thing he’d say is, “I need you on my cock as I suck on those pretty tits of yours.” 

Again, so so so perfect. Yet…

…when it came to matters of your heart, you started to love him. You had your suspicions on whether you were actually gaining feelings or if it was just the sex and the way he’d work his mouth on your body that was making you confused. But your feelings became apparent and so clear to you when one day you lay on the couch, scrolling through TikTok to watch the latest trends when Jake stumbled into the living room. He had a hard time at practice that Saturday morning, beating himself up over not making the winning score during the practice match against another team. Jake slid himself under your arms and just laid his head against your chest and got himself comfy on top of you, making no moves to undress you to get his fix. “I just needed to be close to you right now,” was all he said as he snuggled his face into your breasts and slid his arms underneath you, squeezing you tightly to him. He wasn’t horny or anything, just genuinely wanted to be with you. It took everything to keep your heart from fluttering. From it completely busting out of your chest as he slowly fell asleep on top of you. You were done for. You loved him. 

And oh god did Jake fall so hard in love with you too. How could he not? You accepted his oral fixation and even let him get his fix by using your body. Yeah at first it was strictly to get his fix in, the sex just being a bonus, but the more time that passed, the more he fell. He would get so drunk of your scent as he worked his mouth and cock on and in your body. You became his every waking thought and not just in ways to get his oral fixation needs met. He wanted to spend time with you. Take you on dates. Show you off to his friends. Yeah, having a roommate who gave into his oral fixation was such a hard flex. But to call you his girlfriend who also gives into his oral fixation, was an even bigger hard flex. Jake knew he loved you when all he wanted was to be in your arms after his terrible practice that morning. 

It took a week later for him to confess. 

His cock was buried so deep in your cunt, his mouth biting and sucking on your ear lobe as you screamed out his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear. It was as good of a time as any, Jake thought, what better way to confess his love for you while being balls deep inside you?

“Be mine,” he moans into your ear, detaching his mouth from your lobe and lifting you up from the couch in a swift motion, rolling the two of you into a sitting position with you in his lap. Jake bites at your skin between your neck and shoulders, his hands shoving you down onto him to press his cock even further into your cunt, “be mine, please,” he says between each suck, kiss, and bite at your skin. 

You couldn’t believe you heard the words escape his mouth, not knowing if you heard him clearly or not, “What?” 

Jake released your skin with a pop, his hands moving to your tits, squeezing them together and giving them a lift up, licking your nipples then biting them softly, “I am in love with you, I can’t stand not actually getting to call you mine,” he sucks one nipple into his mouth, bucking his hips up into you, being so lost in the taste of you, “Be mine. Be my girlfriend.” 

Your fingers tangled into his hair as you bounced on his cock, throwing your head back, “Yes,” you moan, “Yes, Jae, yes. I love you too. I’m in love with you too.” 

Jake quickly switches the positions again, pressing your body against the coffee table by the couch, fucking into you with everything he had. He kissed you with so much love and want and need. Being so happy he could finally call you his. You finally being more than just his roommate/fuck buddy that gave into his oral fixation. 

He bites down on your bottom lip and pulls it as he comes undone, his hips snapping to a stop to press his cock against your cervix hard, his cum filling you whole. 

Jake releases your lip and smiles down at you, his eyes wandering to every part of your body he had his mouth on, loving the way his teeth marks look on you. On his girlfriend. Thank god you ended up being such a good roommate.

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— perm taglist: @alvojake @ikeuverse @woniebae @shawnyle @kangnina @jwnghyuns @in-somnias-world @zyvlxqht @aaa-sia @wonniethepoo @addictedtohobi @eneiyri @sparklovespink @skzenhalove @fakeuwus @cherry-park @vousty @ladyartemesia @psh9 @cmoundiamante @enhaverse713586 @wondipity

#yeonzzzn asks #— 🪻anon #jake bby #sim jake #sim jaeyun #sim jake smut #jake x reader #reader x jake #enhypen #enhypen x reader #reader x enhypen #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #yeonzzzn writing

[maritimecorpse]

being able to put spotify on the tv is a lifechanger actually

now if i could figure out how to get adfree youtube without paying for it

#life stuff #i guess i could see what the browser is about and if i can get an adblock for it #instead of using the app #dc destroyed my headset cord for phone use again and my phone doesn't have the best speakers so #i'm gonna get a bluetooth headset for phone use but like. in december. either someone gets me one or i find one on sale

[gunnerfc]

Distracted | Steph Catley x Arsenal!Reader (18+)

Summary: On the rare off day, you attempt to spend it playing video games with some of your teammates but Steph has other plans.

Warnings: fingering (steph receiving) | not sure exactly how to tag that there’s a gaming headset being used so other people could technically overhear 

WC: 2.4k

AN: steph is so 😩🧎🏻😩🧎🏻

You groaned as your eyes fluttered open, the tiring training from the past week plus the game you played yesterday caught up to you. You were thankful today was an off day, any chance to relax around the house was never something you would turn down. Before the game yesterday, you made a deal with Caitlin, Leah, and Katie that the four of you could play a few rounds of FIFA while you were all relaxing.

You sat up in bed, stretching your arms slightly before turning to Steph’s side of the bed. Your brows furrowed in confusion when you were met with an empty bed, your girlfriend hadn’t said anything about going anywhere. You turned to pick up your phone, seeing a text from the defender that she had gone out for coffee with Lia and didn’t want to wake you.

You quickly texted her back before opening the group chat that was made with the three teammates you'd be playing with. You rolled your eyes at the multiple messages of them yelling at you to wake up but responded that you were awake. You immediately got a reply from Katie that read ‘fucking finally’ to which you sent her the middle finger emoji. 

You got out of bed, taking your time doing everything you needed to do in the bathroom just to piss your teammates off further. It was your day off, you were meant to be relaxing and that’s what you were going to do. Just as you made your way to the living room, the front door was opened, and in ran Calvin. The dog jumped up at you in excitement and you couldn’t help but giggle at his actions. You quickly gave him a few pats on the head before he was off to find his water bowl. 

You stood up fully just as Steph came around the corner, a bright smile on her face when she locked eyes with you. “Good morning, baby,” the defender whispered when she was closer to you before you pulled her into a kiss.

Your lips moved against her softly, each time you kissed Steph you put as much love as you could into it. The Aussie pulled back after a moment when air became an issue, her arms locked around your neck as yours rested on her waist. 

“You don’t mind if I borrow the TV for a bit, do you? Me and Caitlin have to beat Leah and Katie’s ass on FIFA,”  you asked, a small smile on your face as you stared at your girlfriend.

“Of course not, though if you're teaming up with Cait, you might be on the losing team,” Steph joked as her hands played with the baby hairs on the back of your neck. 

You groaned at her words, of course, Leah and Katie would stick you with the one person who wasn’t great at the game. You sighed dramatically as you pulled away from Steph to hook up your playstation to the TV. Steph giggled at your dramatics before telling you she was going to take a shower. 

You gave her a thumbs up behind your back as you focused on the cords in front of you. Once you had everything set up and ready to go, you quickly sent a text to your teammates that you were ready. You had your gaming headset resting on your head and once Katie had joined, your ears were met with a round of swearing that you had taken too long.

“Um! It’s our day off, Katie! Excuse me for not wanting to be in a rush all day,” you huffed into the mic, the defender ignoring your words completely. 

You tuned her out as you waited for Leah and Caitlin to join as well. You heard Leah’s voice telling Katie to ‘shut up’ and you were thankful for the blonde. Caitlin joined the call last, quickly saying hello to everyone. 

“Wait, wait. Before we start, Caitlin, how good are you at this game,” you questioned, hoping Steph was just messing with you.

You knew she was right when all you could hear was loud laughter from Leah and Katie before Caitlin said ‘not the best.’ You threw your head back against the couch at her response. You let them pick the teams as you hoped that you’d be able to carry your team to a respectful loss.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Steph had just gotten in the shower. The defender let the hot water wash over her as she washed her hair. Her thoughts started innocently until she thought about how long it had been since the two of you had sex. With your busy schedules, it had been a while, and now with a rare day off, you were downstairs playing a video game. 

Steph could feel herself becoming needier, the pressure between her legs already noticeable. She needed something to distract you from the game you were playing but she knew how you could get when it came to winning things. The defender quickly finished her shower, her neediness growing by the second. Once she was out, she found the perfect set of clothes that would drive you crazy.

As she got dressed, she could hear you yelling in the living room, swearing when Caitlin wouldn’t pass the ball to you when you were open. Steph took a moment to breathe at the sound of your normally sweet tone turned harsh, it was affecting more than she thought it would. She quietly made her way to the living room, though you were too engrossed with your game to realize she was out of the shower. 

You were laid out on the ‘L’ shaped couch, your legs resting on the extended piece of the couch as your eyes were locked on the TV. You didn’t notice Steph right away, not until she was right next to you, seemingly forgetting what personal space was. You spared her a quick glance, throwing her a smile before your eyes were back on the TV in front of you. Steph sat with her thighs pressed tightly, trying to apply pressure to her clothed core.

Steph watched you play as best as she could, her mind hadn't stopped racing with different images of you making her cum and it was becoming hard to focus on anything else. You had yet to realize what she was wearing, too determined to win a video game to focus on your girlfriend. Simply being this close to you wasn’t enough and Steph was going to have to step her game up.

“Baby,” the defender whispered lightly, knowing that if she was much louder, your teammates would be able to hear you over your gaming headset. “Can you take a break,” she added as her hand traced random shapes on your thigh. 

You swallowed lightly as you felt her fingertips on your skin, blinking a few times to keep your focus on the game. “Maybe in a bit, babe,” you nodded but never took your eyes off the game you were playing.

Steph groaned softly, she couldn’t wait for ‘a bit’ because she knew you meant longer than you said. The defender turned her attention back to the animated soccer game on the TV, sighing softly when the game was paused. You scoffed as you heard Leah saying she needed to get her takeout but you took the opportunity to look at Steph.

Your breathing picked up slightly at the sight of your girlfriend wearing your arsenal training shorts and your jersey. She knew that you loved seeing her in things that marked her as yours, especially seeing her with your last name across her back. Your eyes scanned up and down her body, before you locked eyes with her, she was trying her hardest to get you away from your games but your need to beat Leah and Katie was winning.

“We’ll play a couple more games and then I’m all yours. I promise,” you husked, your arousal seeping through your words. You leaned to give Steph a quick kiss when you heard Leah over your headset saying she was back.

Steph tried to deepen the kiss before you pulled away but she was unsuccessful. Her head fell back against the couch when you pulled away, far too needy to wait for you. An idea popped into her head as she stared up at the ceiling and she smirked to herself knowing you would give in to her. When she knew you were solely focused on the game, she slid away from your side slightly to give herself a little bit more room.

You were too focused on your game to notice Steph wasn’t pressed against your side anymore and you certainly didn’t notice when she moved to take the shirt she was wearing off. It wasn’t until the piece of clothing was draped across your thigh and you took a quick look down that your eyes went wide in realization. You blinked rapidly to refocus your thoughts but your need to know won out and you took a quick look in Steph’s direction when you lost possession of the ball.

You bit back a groan when your eyes locked with your girlfriend’s bare torso, realizing she opted to not wear a bra after she got out of the shower. You closed your eyes and shook your head to clear your mind, your attention back on the game after you heard Caitlin yelling at you. It was becoming harder to focus on the game knowing your girlfriend was half-naked just a few inches away. 

You were determined to win this game, the score was only three to two with a few minutes left to play. You hoped that your heavy breathing couldn’t be picked up on your headset, otherwise your teammates would never let you live it down. As you played the game, you felt another piece of clothing hit your legs and you didn’t have to look to know it was the shorts your girlfriend was just wearing.

Steph sat with one leg propped on the coffee table in front of the couch and the other spread wide as the cool air hit her wet center. Steph moaned lightly at the cool feeling, her hands running up and down her body, groping her chest as her head rested against the couch. She knew she was getting to you, but you weren’t caving as fast as she needed you to.

“Give me a second, guys,” you mumbled as you paused the game, ignoring the annoyed shouts from your teammates.

“C’mere, baby,” you growled softly, keeping your voice low so you weren’t overheard on the mic.

Steph jerked her head up as you pointed to the area between your now spread legs. The defender quickly listened, hoping you finally give her what she needed. Steph settled between your legs as you wrapped your arms around her, the controller in your hands was resting on her lower abdomen. You hit resume on your screen as you leaned your head forward slightly to press kisses along Steph’s bare shoulder blade, your eyes still locked with the screen in front of you.

Steph, completely unaware of how gaming controllers reacted to certain plays, jolted slightly when the controller vibrated against her lower stomach, sending shockwaves through her wet cunt. Steph’s head fell back against your shoulder at the sensation, soundless moans falling from her lips. Each time you went in for a tackle or were tackled, the controller would vibrate against her, acting as a stimulation for her quickly approaching orgasm. 

She was no longer paying attention to the TV screen, more focused on what she was feeling between her thighs. She missed when the game ended, but knew something was different when you let go of the controller. You let the item fall against her thigh, your fingers tracing lines up and down any part of her body they could touch. You didn’t bother taking the headset off just yet as you were still in conversation with the other three but that didn’t stop you from dipping your fingers into Steph’s aching core.

One of Steph’s hands shot up to her mouth to cover her lips, silencing the loud moans that were escaping her. You brought the hand that was currently inside her to her wrist, forcing her hand away from her mouth. You kept your conversation going as you thrust three of your fingers in her dripping cunt, the thought of one of them hearing her becoming more of a turn-on as you continued. 

Steph clenched around your fingers but it didn’t stop you from roughly pushing into her, the palm of your hand rubbing against her sensitive clit with each thrust. Steph was close to the edge, the familiar feeling quickly approaching as you didn’t let up. The defender whispered your name followed by a chant of “please” as you sped up your fingers. Her hushed moans and the sound of your hand hitting her skin echoed around the room as you listened to your teammates argue over your headset. 

“I’m gonna cum,” the defender rushed out as her back arched off your front, her hips rolling to meet your fingers.

Steph’s breath stuttered as she came around your fingers, her thighs attempting to close but you kept her legs spread with your other hand. You didn’t slow your movements as you fucked her through her orgasm, her cum coating your hand as you moved inside her. Steph whined lightly when the feeling became too much and you pulled your fingers from her sensitive cunt.

Steph rested against your chest as her breathing was heavy, her eyes fluttering shut as she calmed down. You brought your three fingers to your mouth, sucking them clean as you held back a moan as you tasted your girlfriend.

You tuned back into the conversation over your headset just as Leah asked if you guys wanted to play a few more games. “No, I think Steph and I have some plans,” you responded, earning ‘boos’ from Caitlin and Leah. Katie opted to make a whipping sound before you rolled your eyes and told them goodbye. 

You quickly threw the headset off your head, tossing it somewhere with your gaming controller. Steph was still catching her breath as you ran your hands up and down her body. “You have my full attention now, baby,” you whispered against her skin as you sucked and nipped at her skin. 

The two of you made good use of the day off you had, making up for lost time in the bedroom. You didn’t let up once as you pleasured your girlfriend, pulling orgasm after orgasm from her the entire evening.

#woso x reader #awfc x reader #auswnt x reader #matildas x reader #steph catley x reader #steph catley

[starkwlkr]

You should write baby ruby telling some fans private details about her parents and then finding out and being horrified

she said what? | charles leclerc

ruby back at it again with being on a phone ban 😍 let’s pretend the twitch quartet is back

warnings: just hints at sex that’s all

“Okay, are we ready?” Charles asked his friends, who were all in their own homes streaming.

“Papa? I can’t open my food.” He heard Ruby’s voice from behind him. She entered his room holding a fruit cup she got from the refrigerator.

“RUBYYYYY!” The little girl heard Lando’s voice yell from Charles’ headphones.

“Mate! You screamed right in my ear!” Charles took off his headphones. He grabbed the fruit cup from Ruby’s hand and opened up the container.

“What are you doing?” Ruby asked when she noticed he had a game loading on the screen.

“I’m playing with Lando, George and Alex. Want to say hi?” Ruby nodded with a smile. “Baby Leclerc is here, don’t say any bad stuff!” He warned his friends as he put the headphones on Ruby’s ears.

“Hi, Baby Leclerc!” Alex said to the little girl. “Lily misses you!”

“Where’s Lily?” The girl immediately asked.

“She’s playing golf right now.”

Then Charles read the chat.

paddockbesties BABY LECLERC Hi

gaslysteam she looks so big since the last time she was on stream

lu565 hi baby leclerc!!

“Baby, look they’re saying hi to you.” Charles pointed at the screen and read a few comments to her.

“Hi!” The little girl waved to the screen.

“Hi Baby L! It’s your favorite uncle here!” Lando said.

“Uncle Pierre?” Ruby questioned which made all the drivers laugh.

“This is the worst day of my life.” Lando said.

“Okay, here you go baby.” Charles gave Ruby her fruit cup. “Be careful—“

And down to the floor went the fruit cup.

“Sorry papa.” Ruby apologized. “I clean.”

“Wait here,” Charles said to her. He was going to get the paper towels since she wasn’t tall enough to reach the counter. After he left, she sat in his gaming chair and looked at the screen, watching the chat go by.

“Baby L, how are you?” Alex asked the girl.

“Happy. George, where’s Carmen?”

Ruby loved Lily and Carmen so she was rather upset that the two women weren’t present. She then remembered something that had happened to her a couple days ago that she wanted to share.

“My papa and mama were yelling when I came here with uncle enzo. But then they said I love you.” Ruby said. She started playing with the headset’s cord.

“Why were they yelling?” Lando asked.

“I don’t know! They were on the bed and my papa told me not to go in!”

“RUBY STOP TALKING!” Lando yelled.

“NO NO NO.” Alex tried to make as much noise so the viewers didn’t hear anything else.

“WHERE IS CHARLES? CHARLES COME GET YOUR DAUGHTER!” George had even taken his phone out to text Charles to hurry up.

“My mama yelled louder than that.”

“RUBY NO!”

#formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x you #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc one shot #cl16 x reader #ferrari #charles leclerc imagine #dad!charles leclerc #baby leclerc series

[aplaceforyourhearttorest]

Play Me 🖭 James Hetfield (18+)

"Just because I'm not there right now doesn't mean we can't have fun, baby." Your boyfriend's voice rasps out against the shell of your ear, his used voice coming out hoarse. Raising an eyebrow, you wrap your index finger around the phone's cord, wishing it was a strand of his blonde hair instead.

"And what do you have in mind, phone sex? Because the last time we tried, Lars walked in while you had a hand down your pants."

James laughs loudly at the memory, causing you to grin in response, your fingertips lightly grazing the hem of his shirt you were wearing. "I'd like to never have that happen again, actually," He muses out before pausing. "I have something better in mind. I won't touch myself, but you will. And I left behind a gift for you."

Lifting the receiver off of the bed, you began to stand up and look around the room. "Babe, there's nothing new here." Crouching down to look in the bottom shelves, you purse your lips as you hear him let out an amused hum.

"It isn't really new, I just added something to it," Before you could ask why he was being so cryptic, he spoke up again. "What did we get in trouble for on our first date?"

"For listening to rock music on my dad's.." Trailing off, you began to huff out a light peal of laughter before going over to the desk near the dresser. "Walkman." Reaching over to pick up the shoebox you two kept full of memorabilia, you quickly took off the cover in anticipation.

"If this is your way of finally hearing me orgasm while listening to Van Halen, you really went out of your way." You say in a teasing tone as your hand encircles around the cassette player. Removing the headset from the Walkman, you blink in confusion as you take in the appearance of the tape inside.

"Is this a homemade tape?" Pressing the play button without waiting for his response, you freeze mid-step as a moan rings out around your guys' quiet apartment bedroom.

"Don't run from me baby, take it." Flushing from the grunts that bellow out of the small machine in your hand, you hastily press pause.

"James," You whine out, your thighs pressing together as you feel your clit begin to pulsate. Shakily making your way back to the bed, you sit on the edge as you spread your legs wide open.

"Lie back and take your underwear off for me," James says over the phone, causing you to jolt and almost drop it. "Keep on my shirt."

Lifting your hips and following his instructions, a shiver runs through you as your pussy gets exposed to the cool air. "Yes sir." You whimper out, your free hand gripping onto the sheet beside you as you wait impatiently for his next command.

"Press play and don't stop it again." Blinking dazedly, you reach over and blindly press on the buttons until your cries are the only thing you can hear.

"I-I can't, it's too much!" You hear yourself moan out. Redness covers your cheeks and chest as you remember the positions he had you in. Missionary at first, borderline mating press as he had you by the ankles and stretched out over your head.

Doggystyle was next, his tattooed fist clutching your then tangled hair and bruising your hip with the other.

"Stick your fingers in your mouth baby, then trail them down." Spit traveled down your forearm as you wrapped your tongue around your middle and ring fingers. Closing your eyes and imagining them to be his wide girth, you hear him let out a curse as you swallow around them and gently gag.

Lips quirking up in a smile at how reactive he was at the sound, your fingers pop out of your mouth and slowly leave a trail of wet as you grasp onto your breast.

"James please, I need more."

"You'll take what I give you, like a good girl. Stay still, doll."

Tsking out loud, James breathes in deeply as a sadistic grin grows on his face. His next words have you trembling and crying out in frustration.

"Nothing's changed, baby. You still don't get to cum until I tell you to."

#james hetfield #metallica #metallica smut #metallica x reader #metallica imagines #james hetfield smut

[simonsapelsin]

It's the 1980s. Young Prince Wilhelm is reading a comic book and notices a page in the back titled Pen Friends. It's a listing of names, ages, addresses, and short descriptions of kids looking for pen pals. One in particular catches his eye: a boy his age in the town of Bjärstad (so close!) who is just as passionate about his favorite superhero as he is. Lonely Wille writes to the boy, Simon, using a P.O. Box that his older brother Erik had set up for his own secretive purposes. (Erik knows that Wille could use a friend, and is willing to send and receive the letters for him.) Wille uses a fake last name and doesn't tell Simon that he's a prince.

A great epistolary friendship soon blossoms. They first write about comics, tv shows, pop music, likes and dislikes; then about their families and school, worries and aspirations (Simon is very candid; Wille sometimes tells careful half-truths to shield his identity). One day Simon mentions thinking a male comic book character is good looking, and that opens up an ongoing conversation about liking boys. Simon is sure that he's gay, and has come out to a select few people in his life; Wille is not at all sure of his identity, but is bold enough to admit feelings to Simon that he's told no one else about, and is only just realizing himself.

Simon sends Wille a photo of himself, a school portrait. Wille keeps saying he'll send one soon. He keeps Simon's letters in a shoebox tucked far under his bed. He keeps his photo under his pillow at night, and always remembers to move it into his desk drawer during the day, so the maid doesn't find it.

They start to write about possibly meeting up, since they aren't too far away from one another. Maybe pizza, an arcade? Simon writes his home phone number in a P.S. in one of his letters, asks Wille to call if he wants to, so they can make a plan. Wille memorizes the number. He goes into Erik's room when he's away, sits in front of the phone (Erik has a private phone line), winds and unwinds the long spiral cord around his fingers, picks up the headset, dials most of the digits. Hangs up when his heart starts beating too fast.

One day Simon writes that he'll be going to a new school with his sister. Hillerska. A posh boarding school, but he'll be commuting from home. It's where Crown Prince Erik went! Simon doesn't want to go. He's worried about not making any friends, about not relating to the rich kids there. He wishes he could be Wille's friend. For real.

Wille writes that he's sorry he hasn't called yet. He wants to, but he's been busy, and his parents and older brother are always using the phone when he's free. He'll try again soon. And he's sure Simon will make a friend at Hillerska.

"Mamma?" Wille knocks on his mother's office door.

"Come in, Wilhelm," Queen Kristina replies.

Wilhelm enters, and sits in the seat across from his mother. She looks up from her papers. "Yes?"

"Mamma, I changed my mind. I do want to go to Hillerska."

#there really were pen pal listings in the back of some magazines and comics back in the day #young royals #yr fanfic #penpal au #young royals fanfic #fic ideas

[falasteen7urrah]

i want to share a piece i wrote during the first black out i experienced in gaza during this ongoing genocide.

With the threat of the ground invasion looming around, all 30-40 people gathered. My aunts relative decided to share stories like ghost stories at a sleepover.

During the 2008 war there were two phases of the ground invasion. Phase I, IDF soldiers came in, they killed and bulldozed at random, they separated women and children and told them to run. They then shot at their feet, “for fun”. Phase II, in some Northern Gaza cities IDF soldiers went door to door rallying every male. My aunts SIL tells her firsthand recount of why her husband is scared. That he and her father-in-law were taken down to the basement in troves, stripped naked, blindfolded and psychologically tortured. Some of the techniques included that the soldiers would call out a name, bring them to a corner, shoot near them, again, “for fun” all while the rest of the men would believe they’ve been killed. They did this for hours, amongst other things.

Ground invasion would be more of a scare some nights than others. Some nights it felt like soldiers would be right outside the door. We joked about barricading the door but my uncle said that would all be for naught as the cement wall was a lot easier to break than the metal door. So unless we were thinking of how to barricade the walls, we were sitting ducks. Not that there was anything to be scared of, of course [insert eyeroll].

War, a testament of man’s faith.

Fear is interesting, throughout a war it manifests differently. Sometimes debilitating, sometimes a myriad of physical manifestations, sometimes only felt deeply when expressed out loud.

October 27, 20:00.

Gaza, a territory, cut off internally and externally. With the bombing of At-Tisal all telecommunication was cut off. A flurry of thoughts plagues your mind. I had family and friends in northern Gaza, I had family on the main road, we were located closest to the eastern border, would they sweep in from the north making us safe or will they come in through the entire border, how long will I have to mentally prepare myself before they’re at our house? Ten, five, three minutes? Will this be Phase I? Merciless killing, which actually when thinking of ground invasion sounds like the most attractive option.

Being a female there is one constant fear. Whether in a warring territory or the safest first world country.

“There’s never been any history of IDF soldiers raping any Gazan.” Oh, thank god. I feel so much better. Sarcastic of course, but also settling in a way. However, I don’t know how true that proclamation was, yet in the moment it was the most comforting thing to hear. So I don’t need to be punched in the face, good to know. My sisters and I talked a lot about that actually, being punched in the face, deforming my face to be unattractive, something women used to do in vietnam and other war zones to avoid being sexual assaulted…

Outside men were gathered, an old radio was pulled out, only one radio station was a available, it was in Hebrew. An old man who was imprisoned countless time and his young adult son began translating. They had invaded, they came in by the north. Al-Shifa hospital was now marked, the largest hospital in Gaza, the hospital I volunteered at the third day of the war, home to over 80,000 displaced. Would they bomb it now? In an hour? Leave it until the last day, keeping everyone in a unique state of fear?

My dad pulled out a Motorola phone from his backpack. Huh? We all looked around in our bags if we had an aux cord headset, my mom finally found one, we plugged it in and radio sound came to life.

Boredom comes with war. That’s not common talked about and probably needs a whole thousand words on it itself for one to grasp the blandness and boredom in war. How does radio work? How do landlines work? Sound waves?

What does a blackout mean? Not only no internet, no way of hearing or reading or seeing what’s going on, but no way of communicating with the people in Gaza. Family and friends, we’re cut off. We have no way of knowing who will live and who will die, which happens every night but there’s a difference when the essence of ground invasion plagues the air.

The radio played all night long, and ever night since.

What to say? We’re alive, we’re safe, nothing happened. Except stuff did happen, not the horrors of ground invasion just the nightly norm. People died, people are dying, streets and cities flattened beyond recognition, more homeless, more displaced.

I connected to the internet. More dead, more injured, more, more, more. Amongst them, a friend. Not having internet was horrible, but off from the world, but when you do connect and all you see is death, death, death you start to avoid connecting anyways.

#save gaza #gaza genocide #stand with gaza #free gaza #gaza #gazaunderfire #i stand with palestine #free palestine #palestine #writing #save palestine #israel is a war criminal #israel is a terrorist state #israhell

[forbidden-ideas]

Sure

F!y/n x girl(?), GL smut, practice draft so bear with it. Cunnilingus, reader giving, dom!reader, praising, reader is mean otherwise.

18+, GL, GxG

_____

You were famous for two reasons that people were afraid to mention.

You had always been known for being a mafia child. People were afraid to even mention your last name.

You weren’t exactly a 'mafia child' but you came from a family with deep connections and a long history of martial arts— the fact that half the country's business owners knew your father's company— it was security business.

Your family was like a mafia family except the fact that it was legal business.

Nobody knew the whole story but there were too many rumours and whispers when you started college.

You chose a silent life in highschool but were forced to go above and beyond after being a target for the school bullies— it was a minor crack in the wrist and they made it a big deal.

You sighed when a girl that sat beside you gasped after realising who you were.

She immediately changed places and went to sit in the farthest possible place.

You didn't know what was so intimidating about you.

The second reason people talked about you, however—

"Excuse me," A cutesy girl spoke, "May I?" She was talking about the seat next to you.

You two looked like opposite poles of the same world.

You seemed like an alien next to the white shirt, black skirt, and a black long coat with your black pants, a grey checkered shirt, and an odd leather jacket.

"Sure," You spoke nonchalantly.

She put down her expensive-looking coffee order on the desk and took out her iPad to take down some notes.

You noticed her baby pink headset around her neck that somehow went well with her outfit— like a signature piece.

The class went by as usual with you barely paying attention to anything and finally taking pictures of the board and leaving with your bag and taking out your earphones.

"Excuse me!" The girl from earlier rushed behind you, "Are you free right now?"

"Why?" You aked, plugging the cord of the wired earphones in your phone.

"I wanted to have a coffee with you!" She seemed excited.

"I'm sorry, I don't drink coffee," You started walking away, "Or tea." You said from a distance.

_____

The girl was persistent it seemed.

She sat next to you again and this time asked if you liked ice cream.

You weren't sure why you agreed but you were sure it was a reluctant 'yes'.

_____

"You said it was an ice cream date," you stared at her— skirt raised, panties gone, "And we're in your room now."

She tried to muffle a moan when you dived between her folds.

One of her hands in your hair, tugging lightly and the other gripping the bedsheets for her her dear life.

She gasped when you started using your fingers to stimulate her clit instead, "Y-Y/n wait— w-wait!" She supported herself up and tapped at your shoulder.

You moved away worried and sat up straight to see if she was okay only to see her hiding her face behind her hands.

"Was it overwhelming? Are you okay?" You asked.

"It's— It is my first— I've never—" she sighed, her chest heaving from the previous activity.

You felt something shift in you, "Do you know what they talk about me?" You asked while getting on top of her.

She slowly lay herself back, "You're from the mafia and that... you almost killed someone when you were having sex..."

"Both are false," you kissed her earlobe lightly, "Martial arts, not mafia and he wasn't 'almost' killed— he died."

She shuddered.

"It wasn't him I was having sex with— he tried to interrupt us." You smirked against her skin, "You got to be a good girl, now. Okay, darling?" You asked again.

She whined softly at the sudden old-fashioned nickname.

"Please," she whispered.

"Tell me if it's uncomfortable," you mumbled.

You made sure to go slow this time, keeping in mind to be gentle and that to make it a memorable first.

"Say princess," You looked down and unbuttoned your shirt, thowing it away, "Aren't you uncomfortable in all those clothes?"

She unbuttoned her shirt and slipped out of her skirt with a little help from you.

"Smart and beautiful, such a classic." You took the liberty to take off her bra.

You slowly and deeply kissing her while fondling with her breast made her go crazy.

There was not much you were letting her do when you had put most of your weight on her and were devouring her like no tomorrow.

You slowly went down kissing along her jawline and finally to her already hard nipples.

"Do you mind a hickey?" You asked in a whisper.

She shook her head to refuse.

"Words darling, words." You chuckled kissing the valley between her breasts.

"N-no," she breathed out.

You immediately started on a mark above her chest and she moaned.

You started going further down to tend to her needs. She kept squirming so you put a hand across her pelvis to keep her down.

You take a quick lick at her wetness and hum, "So wet darling? Do you want me to take care of it for you?"

"Yes— please—" she pleaded.

"Good girls get rewards."

You started lapping at her wetness, ravaging her. It was as if you were hungry for ages.

She moaned when your nose rubbed againt her clit.

You kept going until she became louder and louder, then finally tugging at your hair particularly harder than before and breaking down into throes of pleasure.

Her face was contoured with pleasure and it swelled your pride.

"I don't think I should be here any longer," You tried to get up but she pulled you back to her core.

"Again," she panted, still not completely back from her high.

"Sure thing, darling," you laughed.

_____

#gl smut #gxg smut #my writing #writing #short stuff #practice #scene #gl #gxg #gxg imagine

[anti-psycomics]

MASH ME UP

I'm am. Tired. Been workin on this one for a while, took very many revisions.

Ah shit I just realized I forgot to give the headphones a cord, was gonna have it connected to a pants pocket where there'd presumably be a phone in there. Whatever maybe it's a wireless headset even though I don't use wireless products

anyway this is me mashed up. its mashed up me. up me mashed

more art whenever I feels like it

#art #artists on tumblr #artwork #digital art #drawing #my art

[labyrinthofsphinx]

Statistical Outliers

Part 5...5.5? Idk it's kinda long. Also, Val's in this one a bit. And he's a jerk, so if that's concerning just a heads up. Nothing graphic though.

“Mr. Vox? Sir?”

“Huh?” His voice crackled over the speakers rather than his vocal cords. It ended up louder than he wanted it to be. His assistant nearly jumped out of his skin. Pad in one hand and the other on his headset, he seemed to be trying to find something else to do aside from shaking in place.

“T-the morning broadcast?”

Fuck! What time was it?

Wait. Where was-?

His eyes flicked about the room. Cameras swiveled in place, scanning the immediate area. Every drone, every lens, every goddamn phone and computer camera was dragged from whatever it was supposed to be doing for the moment. In an instant, he was in in Val’s studio, Vel’s design pad, the kitchen set, the main lobby, the elevator, even his monitor room. Thousands of eyes all working with the same goal, the same hive minded command: search everywhere. And he still couldn’t find him.

He stood up way faster than he should, the blood in his body not quite catching up with the adrenalin rush. Electricity vaulted from him like it was trying to run away too. His screen was twitching from the overload.

“Where’s the kid?”

“…kid, sir?”

He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged up. Vox was not a small demon. Sure, he wasn’t Valentino’s obscene height, but he was by no means short. His assistant was dangling in air, legs kicking with panic. Vox understands why. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s fried the brains out of someone using the same pose. But, for now, he opted instead to shake him like a throw rug.

“Yes, the kid! The same fucking kid that’s been here for two days now! Where is he?”

“H-h-h-he’s with Mistress Velvette, s-s-sir.” He stammered. “S-she said had a s-show later today, b-b-but she wanted to spend s-some time with h-her gift. H-h-he should be in her room-”

“Do you really think I wouldn’t know if someone was in her room? He’s not there! So you better get those useless grunts out there and find him before I peel their souls apart-!”

At that moment, Valentino decided now would be the perfect time to barge in. Because the day was already starting out so smoothly. He stormed up the stairs like he was trying to see how many he could break on the way up. He kicked open the door with a hiss.

“Vox! What the fuck? It’s too fucking early in the morning for the high hats to be going off! You’ll burn my fucking eyes out doing that.”

In his rage, he must’ve put a little too much juice into the tower. He dropped his assistant like a rock, stood straight, and smiled. He quickly leaned down, static fizzing through his speakers.

“Your job. Go do it.”

He was out of the room before Val even walked to the couch.

“My apologies, Val. Been meaning to have that wiring looked at. It really shouldn’t be so sensitive.” He readjusted his vest and corrected his antenna. He might still look like he just woke up, but you’d never tell from his performance.

Val, for his part, just took a big drag of his cigarette, smoke curling around the ends of his mouth. It was already half puffed through. Val was a heavy smoker normally, but not usually so early. Aside from that, he had his weight shifted to the side, leaning more so than he might if he was posing. He seemed restless, for lack of a better term. That, in addition to screaming at Vox this early in the morning…yeah, no. This had nothing to do with lighting.

“Yeah, no fucking kidding! Ruined a perfectly good shoot cause the whole place was blinking like a rave! Couldn’t see a damn thing!”

Oh, boy. Here it comes. Trouble. Probably in the pink spider variety.

“Shooting this early, huh? Then I assume-”

“What are you looking for anyway?”

That shook his composure for a moment. Look, Val wasn’t stupid. Well, not in every regard. He knew better than most that the man had certain things he was a bit too scarily informed about, even for Vox. Usually this applied to his particular brand of expertise, but sometimes he does things like this. Vox doesn’t give ‘tells’ anymore. Not when he’s ‘on air’. What’s going on in his brain is purely his own machinations, and he likes it that way.

Ordinarily, no one would blink an eye at the cameras all swiveling about, especially after Alastor returned. It was expected that he was just a lot more attentive now. He had to be. How or why Val knew he was actively looking for something was concerning. Since when did he get predictable?

“Oh, that. Vel’s little pet ran off and I was just trying to-”

He stopped midsentence, a question now clawing into his head.

“…why do you care?”

Valentino doesn’t care what Vox does. This would be a ‘Vox’ problem. Since when has he ever bothered or cared whenever the issue didn’t involve him in some way?

Val’s wings twitched visibly, as if his coat gained sentience and bristled on his behalf.

“Because this little experiment of yours is becoming a problem. And I am fucking tired of cleaning up after it.”

I..he…what?

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, don’t pretend like you didn’t hear me. I know you’ve got every audio upgrade in the world stuck in that head of yours.” He toyed with the fuzz of his collar. His heels clicked against the tile floor as he turned and took his spot on the lounge.

“Val, I’m not sure you understand. The kid is Velvette’s-”

“Yes, yes. I know. Her new stress ball. Here’s the thing. Her new toy is making my old one act out. Every day he comes in bitching about it.” Another long drag of smoke later, and Valentino was starting to puff out designs, mostly hearts. “He asked to speak to you, you know.”

One involuntary twitch later, Vox was back in default mode. Angel Dust didn’t speak to Vox. They’ve never wanted to speak to each other. His grin was sharp and tense. Red lines might be dripping down past the side of his mouth.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he’s under the impression that you might know where the kid is, since you see everything.”

There was a smile playing at the edge of Val’s face, no doubt thinking of some dark concession Angel made for even daring to ask Valentino to bring Vox into this for help. Desperate, it read to Vox as desperate. It was now, what? Three days missing? What exactly did they think would happen to the kid in three days-?

Well…kidnaping, for starters. Threatened with bodily harm, extortion, and dubious enslavement to name a few things.

“…you want me to speak with him?”

Val threw his hands up, like the surprise had just revealed itself.

“You’re so smart, Voxxy! Here’s the deal: you give the kid back to Angel, and babycakes comes back to the tower.”

“You told Angel he was here?” That would be bad on so many fronts. As he said before, he didn’t need the mess from Lucifer coming in here and demanding him back. Secondly, Velvette would not be giving up her prize without an argument…possibly a brawl. Which they did not, currently, want with the Devil.

“Nothing like that! Didn’t want the prissy princess knocking on our door after all. Angel and I just came up with an agreement. If you ‘find’ and get the kid back to him, he’s gonna come back to the studio, full time, just like it used to be. It’s a win, win, darling.”

“A ‘win, win’? It’s not a win, win if you’re losing something to gain something else, Val.” There was something here he was missing. He wasn’t used to that in his conversations with Val.

Val feigned nonchalance badly.

“It’s bad for our image to have a brat running around here.” He started, using an argument more at home on Vox’s tongue. “We got our use out of him. You got your headsets and Vel got her pictures. I say we get rid of the garbage and get back a gem of ours.”

Val…Val doesn’t like the kid. No, worse than that. There was an underlined vitriol there, small skulls hidden among smoking hearts. He hated that kid. He’s never spoken a word to him. Vox is pretty sure they’ve never even been in the same room as each other.

It felt like a small cold spike hit him at the nip of his neck. He’s not even sure why.

It could be because he didn’t think it was all that great of an exchange. They have no promises from the kid, no contract that would keep him from blabbing everything off to the others of that shitty hotel. There’d be no excuse for them not to get a royal breaking down the door for the kidnapping. It could very quicky and very easily get ugly.

There was also the fact that he didn’t want Angel back. He was less of a problem when he was gone. He wasn’t constantly in Vox’s direct vision anymore. He didn’t have to see him every single time he went down to Val’s studios. He could actually talk to Val now, without Angel having to be on his fucking arm.

The weirdest thing though was the stupid, drunk memory coming back from last night. Twelve fucking years old, and he knew Val was just going to rip him apart in front of Angel’s eyes. He’d give him over, only to pull his pistol and fire until he was satisfied. He’d do it, no hesitation. It wasn’t anything new to him, and nothing he hadn’t threatened to do to Angel’s pig before. From the drip of poison falling off the edge of his teeth, Vox could practically smell gun smoke.

“It’d be so easy.” He said, interrupting Vox’s thoughts.

There was so much venom laced in his words.

And for what?

He collected himself. He had more than enough logical arguments for why this was a very bad idea.

“Glad to see you’re taking the initiative in protecting our assets, truly, Val. But I think your missing the bigger picture here-”

The anger was more explosive than Vox expected. He felt like he just tripped on a landmine.

“I’m not missing anything! You think I don’t see what happening here?” The smoke came out like a dragon breathing fire, and even Vox had to pull slightly away. “You’d rather take Velvette’s side than mine. After everything we’ve been through!”

“I’m not taking sides.” He kept his voice even or tried to, as much as possible. Hard to do when he felt like coughing every other word. “But you should consider-”

Val rose to his full height, his wings slightly unfurling. It was mostly for show. He knew that. Valentino felt larger when his wings were fuller, which meant his ego was bruised enough to warrant it.

“Consider this! You get that brat out of here or you can sleep alone!”

Calculations jumped between wires. Thousands of different possible ways to approach this popped up in a million lines of code. One seemed better than the rest. Force the kid under contract, under Velvette’s beck and call. Send him on his way and get Angel Dust back for Val. Let everything here be their little secret. That was the best outcome, the best step forward, the best concession.

It should’ve been so simple to explain. So…why did he hesitate?

It was just a moment, a stupid, uncertain breath.

But it had been enough time for Valentino to erupt.

….

On days like these, he just stayed plugged in. He could make himself look like whatever he wanted over the TV. It’s so convenient, having lines, set, and makeup accessible with the snap of the fingers. Up all night drinking? No problem! No one can even see the bags under your eyes in cyberspace. Overworking your systems to the point of failure? Nothing a minor edit can’t fix.

Your face bashed into pieces by your pissed off scorned lover? Meh, not as if anyone can tell. Every single copy he projected looked just as spotless as he had this morning.

That didn’t change the fact that, every once in a while, glass shards, bits of his screen, fell into his actual, physical lap. While his cyber copies went over the recent sports games, his gaze drifted off to his aquarium. Inside, his sharks were viciously circling. The hammerhead had ripped another chunk out of their breakfast and was currently striving to keep it away from the tiger shark. Its success was about a fifty fifty split. The tiger stole an arm, and, in the crossfire, the fingers were ripped free. They drifted down, right past his console. The smaller baitfish darted in and out for the occasional snack.

It was another reminder of things that haven’t changed. The bigger fish eat their fill, the small have to fight for scraps. The philosophy of life didn’t change much, even when you died. Which all the more explains why it’s the old guard fighting against progress. Evolution wasn’t an idea people wanted to accept for a long time.

For a moment, he thought back to a conversation he had with Alastor, back when they were still on speaking terms. Funny enough, he’d used Vox’s own pets to poke holes in his theory. He’d mentioned that, if what scientists had said was true, then wasn’t the shark a very obvious and glaring exception to this silly little theory? They’ve had the same role since they first popped up, and practically stayed the same for millions years. Surely, if things were constantly changing, his pets would be so different compared to how they are. So, naturally, it must all be noise.

He’d always say it like that, like science and theories were nonsense children played with. As there was magic and demons and angels running about, he understood at the time why’d Alastor thought that way. The supernatural was scary, big, and intimidating in ways people just weren’t. Of course, Al had died back when the airplane was a brand-new toy and air raids where the scariest thing humans could be capable of.

Vox was alive to see the bomb drop. Alastor’s entire body count, here and on earth, made negligible in the span of seconds.

Sharks weren’t the same as they had been back when they first sprung up. Same basic function, sure, but it’s viciousness, advantages that drove change. It was better to be smarter, to diversify, to eat whatever and whenever you could. Being picky and unwilling to adapt turns you chum eventually.

He hadn’t said that at the time though. He still thought they were friends after all. Instead, he offered a different, perhaps even scarier idea. Since hell was real and humans haven’t been around all that long,  had the angels just been content to watch animals kill each other for millions of years? Whose idea was it to introduce hunger to the world?

Alastor hadn’t had an answer for him. He had pointed out the hilarity of it though, that hell was just earth before man. Just a bunch of animals eating each other.

He almost missed those weird conversations. They weren’t the kinds of things he could talk about with Valentino or Velvette. Val would tell him to have a smoke. Vel would probably respond with a meme.

His screen glitched as he accidentally brushed an exposed segment. Pain shot up and about the circuitry. It was the closest he could get nowadays to touching a bruise on his face. Though, most people don’t run the risk of accidentally cutting themselves on their faces, puffy or not.

Hm. Serves him right. He should’ve just done what he had in mind. He should’ve gotten the kid under contact day one. Then, this wouldn’t have been an issue.

The doors opened with a metallic whoosh, the tell-tale sounds of his terrified assistant putting on the floor.

“Would you put me down? I can walk, you know.”

“M-Mr. Vox, sir! I’ve found him.”

Vox’s claw dug into the chair. Yes, technically, he had asked for him to find the kid. He can’t maim him for listening to orders. But the very last thing he wanted right now, was for the source of all his recent troubles to be in his personal space.

If it wasn’t for him, his face would still be in one piece. He wouldn’t be down a brand-new screen and having to wait for literal days to get it replaced. He wouldn’t be treading the dangerous waters between his two fellow Vees. He wouldn’t be trying to figure out how to navigate this stupid secondary deal of Val’s and Angel’s. He wouldn’t have to stress about the idea of Angel being back full time.

He was on top of the fucking world not three days ago. And now…

The screens around flashed red for a moment. His assistant all but dropped the kid and fled the room. He knew all too well what all that meant.

The kid didn’t. Obviously. Because he started walking over, stilling only to observe the corpse floating about the water.

“Um…who’s that?”

“That,” He started, his voice unhinging as his frustrations kept building. “is what happens to people who waste my time.”

His fingers tapped against the metal, making a harsh, sharp sound. Current pulsed about, feeling to him like a wire about to snap and lash out of control. Small pains in his face pinched like exposed nerves, getting worse and more numerous with each passing second, but Vox’s patience was too far gone to care.

“What did he…I mean-”

“What did he do?” Vox finished. He supposed his voice was teetering a little too close to the preverbal edge, because the kid stopped walking towards him. “That there is my assistant, the one whose specific job it is to stock up on the usual necessities of Vee tower. If something is needed, he fetches it. If something is missing, he finds a replacement. And if something is broken, it’s his job to get it fixed.”

Sparks started bouncing between screens, flickering them. Some stray arcs dashed up towards the ceiling, causing havoc with the aquarium lights. Every couple of seconds, the room would get ungodly dark, illuminated only by the glow of shark teeth and his own screen peering into the abyss. He stood up from his chair.

“Well, something did get broken.” His tone still sounded friendly, on paper. “And it can’t be fixed at the moment. So, whose fault is that, hm? The man who was supposed to make sure it did get fixed…”

Volts burst about him in streaks of light. His physical form splintered into pieces, ripped apart by the power of screaming energy. As lightning, he was too fast to see, to comprehend. The thunder that followed in his wake shook the tower. In the time it took him to burst into creation there on the catwalk, the kid hadn’t even had time to take a breath.

Thousands of screens bore down on them, projecting blazing red views of Vox’s anger and the kid’s own terror from every angle conceivable. Oh, what a film it would be! It was the making of a perfect horror flick. Slasher flick, of course. The kind where no one made it out alive.

“And the stupid child that broke it in the first place!”

His red, hypnotic eye dilated in fury. Half of his body still felt like it was lightning, fighting against itself to stay in one place. The rest felt cold like ice, a sheet of hollowed flesh and metal. Oh, Tin man, did you ever have a heart to begin with?

Red dripped down from the side of his screen, as it always does when he gets himself too worked up, too enraged, too excited. His smile grew too wide for his face, teeth stuck between phases existence. All the while, the shattered sections of ruined glass contorted and bent every pixel of his face into some nightmarish creation. Like a deranged dog, his expressions flickered between a sickening sadism and malicious mania.

The kid’s hand flew up to his face, catching a scream in his throat. His pupils dilated with fear, the kind that Vox had been owed this whole time. Tears welled in his eyes and pooled at the corners of lashes.

This is the respect he should’ve had. This was how he was supposed to be treated. His name should breed dread in the soul, bring your body to quiver with horror. He was fucking Overlord Vox! If he wasn’t going to be given respect, he would take it. He-

“Are you okay?”

Something numbed just then. A million different angles, of a trembling lip, of tears streaming down his face in rivulets, of his chest heaving and unable to keep a steady breath, it was all the perfect shot right before the killer’s knife.

It was terror. It was the very definition of terrified.

It just had nothing to do with Vox. Or, rather, it was nothing Vox was doing on purpose.

“Are you hurt?” The kid’s voice cracked with strain. And, suddenly, he wasn’t standing still anymore. He quickly wiped his tears best he could and grabbed Vox by the hand. It was so gentle, like Vox was one who might shatter at any time. “Y-you need to sit. S-should I call a doctor? D-do you have any electrical tape?”

The numbness prickled like a limb that just fell asleep, nothing but nerve endings failing to send anything but signals of stinging. That’s what this was, stinging everywhere. His hand hurt to hold. He was guided back to his chair, without a single thought of input. He was too dazed to understand.

What had just happened?

The kid reached around, looking under and about the different units. He found the emergency tape, the one Vox personally stores. Almost immediately, he jumped up on the arm rest and started pulling the worst bits together. He saw him cut himself a few times, red dripping down from tiny fingertips. It streaked bright against dark fur.

Looking at it for too long flipped his stomach.

“There. I think…I think that’s the worst of it.” The kid muttered, though he’d not sure if he was talking to himself or Vox. “But we really ought to figure out how to repair it ASAP. The impact left a dent on the interior screen and that’s not something the tape can really help with. Do you, um, heal normally or..?”

“…no, I…I usually have to replace them.”

“Do you have a spare?”

How did this conversation get here?

“No, that’s…that’s what I tossed my assistant in with the sharks for. Are you seriously not afraid of me?”

The kid looked at him, shock on his face.

“What? No! You’re hurt! Like, really bad. I’m not really an expert on cybernetics or anything, but I don’t think I’d feel good or be in good mood if my face was split in half.”

A good mood? Really?

“I fed a man to my sharks.”

The kid cringed.

“Yeah, okay, granted. That’s, um, really not good.”

“But you’re not afraid of me? You do realize I was going to feed you to my sharks, right?”

He paused for a moment, scratching the fur by his cheeks. His ears fell a little at his words, but he offered up a pathetic smile, nonetheless.

“I’m not sure I’m really all that good to eat. They’d probably be choking up hairballs for a week.”

“I’m being serious.” He hissed.

“…I know but…I mean, I was afraid. A bit. But…then I saw all of that and…um…” The kid bit the inside of his lip.

Numbness gave way to an emotion Vox was much more familiar with. Now, he was just pissed off.

“You think I want your pity?” He smiled too wide, and some of tape ripped. “You, haha, you think I’d give a shit what you think? Haha, oh, kid. That’s just pathetic!”

“…why do you think that someone caring about you is pathetic?”

Oh, that one felt like a gut punch. Knocked the wind out of him and set him spiraling. The kid put more tape on the part that ripped.

“I’m sorry, by the way.” He said, all of a sudden. “I’m sorry you got hurt because of me.”

His fury was ripped from him. Every ounce of him that wanted to lash out at something, anything, to get it out of his system just vaporized and flew away. What the fuck was he doing, threatening children anyways? What was his plan here? Brutalize him? Velvette would be pissed because her toy was gone. Valentino would be pissed because his deal would fall through. His stupid hotel mates would be pissed because, you know, murder. And he’d be mad with himself because, goddamnit, he’d be stuck with mental image of beating up a defenseless child.

See this? This is why you think before you act, Vox. This is why you’re the brains of the Vees: the connective tissue, the thing keeping everything in working order, and the one responsible with making sure all this shit keeps running.

Being emotional trainwrecks was his co-workers jobs.

He waved the kid away from his face. He did pull back, and dropped down next to the chair, allowing Vox some time to collect himself before looking him in the eye again.

“Where were you this morning anyways?”

“Velvette thought it’d be funny if you couldn’t find me, so she stuck me in the oven.”

Oh, yes. Sure. Why not? Hope it was hilarious, Vel.

“Where you there the whole time?”

“She gave the impression that I wasn’t supposed to move, unless you were going to start preheating the oven.”

Yeah, that sounds like Vel. He nodded along, trying not to acknowledge his reflection, a mosaic of glass, tape, and the smallest cuts of blood.

“You know, I think a lot of these screens are the right size and make. Why not just use one of them?” He asked.

“Hm? Oh, that. Well, contrary to popular opinion, this head of mine isn’t just any old TV.” He started presenting like he would on commercial, only more tired. “I’ve had every mod and upgrade installed, the best speakers, direct wifi connectivity, complete automation of any and all Voxtek products directly from my thoughts, the works. Making a new head takes time. Lots of it. Every piece has to be specially ordered to my specifications, installed, then run through about a hundred different redundancies before I’d even consider switching over. That’s why I was so pissed off. Because now I’m stuck with this until the new one is finished, and who knows how long that will take.”

The kid’s face squinted.

“…but you don’t have to make all new circuitry. You can just rewire a new screen with the original parts.”

“…come again?”

“Whoever told you that you have to make all new parts every time a screen broke is wrong. I fix TVs all the time, old ones and new. It’s pretty simple.”

Vox knew a lot about tech. He kinda had to. But for this one, specific thing, he actually kind of required there to be another person’s opinion, since he can’t exactly install himself by himself (yet). The engineer that he relied on for so long had lot of explaining to do.

“I was under the impression that some of it was built into the framework itself.”

The kid shook his head.

“Nah, that’d be silly. That’d mean that every single TV would have to be wired differently because of size and stuff. It’s just easier to have universal screens and plugs.”

You know what? Maybe his anger wasn’t quite spent. But he’s certainly picked a better target.

“…you said you repair TVs?”

“Yeah, all the time. I like fixing things. I’m, like, the unofficial handyman back at the hotel!” He beamed in pride again.

“Isn’t it Alastor’s job to make sure things work?”

“Yeah, but Al’s idea of wiring comes from a time when DC current was still being used. I don’t know about you, but I kinda don’t trust him not to accidently burn the hotel down…again.”

He laughed. It hurt to laugh, but he couldn’t help it. That shit was funny.

When laughs turned to snickers, and he composed himself enough to finally think, he started with a deep breath.

“Do you think you could do it?”

“Do what?”

“Change out the screen.”

“On…on you face?”

“Eugh. Yes, kid. On my face.”

His nails involuntarily popped out as he scratched his neck, nerves finally getting to him. He keeps forgetting foxes could do that, extend their claws similar to cats. Honestly, he’s now wondering why he hadn’t tried threatening with them earlier. Had he even taken a swipe at his grunts? He doesn’t think so.

“I mean, mechanically, yeah. I just don’t know how that works with being your face.”

He snickered.

“Kid, I am so much more than this.” He gestured to his body. With a snap of his fingers, he cut across every screen in the place. Living electricity, part of his very being, danced between the devices. “Even if you wanted to, popping off my head isn’t gonna kill me.”

Call him a hydra. There were simply too many heads to cut off before that was ever an option.

“Cool.” Awe peppered in there as his attention kept getting pulled about. “But, um, how do I…um…remove your head?”

“Oh, that? Easy.” With a simple motion, he ripped his head off.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel ficlet #hazbin hotel fic #drabble #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel valentino #the vees #hazbin hotel vees

[milflewis]

omg a little blewis moment pls I love reading your writing

ok so i saw this gifset of blewis today and my brain went !!! while i was supposed to be doing assignments so obv i wrote instead. hope you like it !! sorry it’s so late lol

“Sorry,” Lewis says, pulling out his airpod, leaning in. He lets himself bounce a little on the tire he’s sitting on, pushing his toes further into the ground, stomach going all fizzy and quiet. Bono blinks out from behind his glasses, unimpressed. There’s a slight smudge in the corner of the left lens that you can see when Bono turns his head to the right and stands under the glare of the bright garage lights.

Lewis balances himself on Bono’s shoulder. His white merc shirt stiff and warm under his hand. His eyes catch off of the hollow of Bono’s throat, poking through Bono’s two open buttons. There’s a sheen of sweat clinging there.

“So i was thinking about the rear wing of the car,” Bono says, hands gesturing. An eyelash sticking lightly to the soft skin under Bono’s left eye

Bono settles more into one leg, hips slouching out and Lewis pays attention to the way his mouth moves so he doesn’t look down. Apparently, he’s supposed to stop being as obvious about what he’s thinking when he looks at Bono in public but, like, Seb can eat shit. He’s not being that obvious, and even if he was, which he’s not, Seb would be the last person allowed to say anything about hiding what they’re feeling.

Still. Toto is watching. And Susie has been worried about his cholesterol so.

Lewis sits back, wrapping one hand around his other arm, careful not to drop his airpod. He cannot lose another while distracted by Bono. Angela will never let him forget it.

He digs his fingers into his elbow, phone in his other hand. They itch to drag Bono in closer, settling him between Lewis’s legs as he shuffles back on the tire, hands on his hips. Palming his ass in those pants.

Bono keeps talking about the rear wing or maybe he’s on about the brakes now. His mouth is still moving. Lewis still doesn’t look down. Bono is fiddling with the cord of his headset. Maybe he needs something in his hands to avoid reaching out too. Even though it’s been years and nothing will ever come from it, Lewis hopes he does anyway.

“Lewis,” Bono says like it’s not the first time he’s said it. Shit. Lewis hums, “Yeah?”

The eyelash is still there.

“You’re not listening to me.”

Lewis grins, shrugging, leaning back onto the tire, bouncing again.

Bono’s eyes flicker down to Lewis’s spread thighs and back up again. Score, Lewis thinks.

Bono might not want lewis. not the way Lewis wants him to but he does want him, just a little, and sometimes that’s even enough.

“You’re distracting,” Lewis says. “Not my fault.”

“I’m literally just talking about the car,” Bono says, eyebrows raising. “About the wings.”

Lewis lets his voice go a little lower, breathy and curling around his words. Looking up through his lashes, he says, “I know,” and watches Bono’s finger tighten around the headphone cord so he doesn’t shove Lewis off his tire. Lewis laughs. A light blush spreads across Bono’s face, colouring the bridge of his nose.

“You’re insufferable,” Bono says, swallowing.

Lewis grins. “But I’m cute though.”

Bono doesn’t say anything as one of the mechanics come up to him, showing him a tablet with something for him to sign off on. Lewis pokes his thigh with a toe.

“Hey. I’m cute though, right? Bono. Bono. Hey.”

Bono ignores him.

The mechanic looks between the two of them, going still. He’s new, Lewis realises as he doesn’t recognise him. Still, he should know his name. He’ll ask Bono later.

Dan leans around the new guy, grinning, elbow on his shoulder. “I think you’re cute, Lewis.”

Lewis smiles at him, winking. “It’s nice to be appreciate around here.”

Bono hands the guy back his tablet. “I wouldn’t know.”

Lewis brushes off the sting. Joke. It’s a joke, Lewis. The voice sounds like Jenson.

Lewis scoffs, “I appreciate you!”

Bono hums, “Do you? Then why don’t you listen to me?”

“I told you. You’re distracting.” Lewis bites his cheeks, tasting sharp copper as it bleeds.

He tilts his head. “Bono.”

Bono is looking at him. “What?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

Bono frowns at him, “You’re going on track in ten minutes.”

Lewis waves a hand, manages not to drop his phone. “No, no. Not that. Could you take off your headphones for a moment.”

Bono squints at him, crinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening, “why.” He drags the word out long enough that it doesn’t even sound like a question.

Lewis smiles. “I want to see your hair do the thing.”

Bono shoves him off the tire this time.

“C’mon,” Lewis says, giggling, sprawled out on the floor, propping himself up on his elbows. He feels a little breathless, going all light and weightless with it all. “I want to see it.”

Bono turns back to the screens behind him. “My hair doesn’t ‘do a thing’.”

The mechanics laughing around them. A tv on the wall at the other end of the garage shows a pink and blue car out on track. It swerves a little, skidding over a wet patch, before rightening itself. Lewis hopes that it’s Fernando driving and not Esteban.

“Yeah, man, it does! Goes all, like, smushed in the middle cause of where they sit and it’s very funny.”

Bono’s voice goes all flat at the ends like it does when he’s trying not to laugh. “Well, then, guess you’ll see it after the race, won’t you?”

Lewis groans. “That’s ages away, though. Please. It’s so cute.”

Bono stays watching the screens. The tv is now showing Sebastian, his black helmet stark against the green Aston Martin. It makes Lewis grin like he did when Seb first sent him the design pics weeks ago.

Lewis sighs, dramatic and long and heavy, feeling his lungs shake with it. Let’s Dan pull him up. Bumps shoulders with Bono who cuts a glance at him, smiling slightly. Lewis grins at him. “What were you saying again?”

Bono looks at him for a second.

“I’m not too distracting anymore?” he asks.

Lewis shrugs, making sure he sounds careful and relaxed. “I can manage.”

He must succeed because Bono’s smile widens and he goes back to what he was saying earlier, cord in hand.

There’s a fine line here. One that Bono drew in the sand years ago when he left Lewis to wake up in a cold bed and messy sheets, smiling at him when he sat down opposite him twenty seven minutes later in the Mercedes ordered private plane. and said hey Lewis. Good party? like he always did and Lewis grinned, stomach tight. The ends of Bono’s come still flaking off of Lewis’s stomach. Not having had time to shower. (Part of him had hoped that he’d show up and Bono would look at him with those eyes again and invite him over when they landed in England and Lewis would know, just know, what that meant and neither of them would need to say anything else.)

(Bono didn’t invite him over, clapping him on the shoulder in goodbye the minute they got their bags, and Lewis didn’t see him again until two days before the next race)

(Neither of them needed to say anything else.)

There’s a fine line here. One where Bono doesn’t say anything about Lewis being in love with him and puts up with his teasing and Lewis doesn’t say anything about Bono not loving him back and makes himself still and listen to Bono when it matters, never mentioning that he knows how Bono tastes when he’s laughing.

Lewis bumps his shoulder into Bono’s again and doesn’t look down and doesn’t look at Bono’s mouth. Just listens to him worry about the brakes of a car that sometimes Lewis can’t even bring himself to not hate.

#i started writing fluff and then. yeah. idk what happened #im blaming it on naila bc she keeps talking about unrequited blewis on bonos side n now the brainrot is sinking it but with lewis #stuff i wrote #hopefully rewriting this will get me back into it #blewis #f1 rpf fic #fic.asks #anon tag #niamh.asks

[fourseasonsfigs]

The Wizard of Oz - Deluxe Version

I already posted about LV Wizard of Oz Jun, wearing this LV Virgil Abloh suit...from the same fig maker, even! This seated fig was her special version, released on a limited quantity drop of 400, with a 7 minute timer countdown.

Purchasers had to answer a question (his birthday) which was quite literally the easiest thing in the world, but I lost precious seconds using my translate app, and it sold out. Thankfully, I was able to pick this up when the fig maker dropped a few remainders. Those sold out right away too, but there was no question this time, so I was able to speedily click right through.

This inflatable red chair used for Gong Jun's Vogue World shoot last October is the inspiration:

Here's also a behind the scenes version of the shoot for your viewing pleasure, showing him in the chair:

I grabbed a quick screenshot of him in the chair so you could see it for fig comparison purposes!

I love the casual pose - the bare feet, his leg tucked up under him. It contrasts wonderfully with the full glam of the outfit and jewelry.

Did my heart sink a little when I opened this up and saw the phone like this? Yes it did! It looked weird in the box. Also, I had so much trouble with Gong Jun's other phone on his CT Pink Jun, that I perhaps was not mentally prepared for another one.

Luckily it unfolded just fine. It's a really well done little phone, with some nice detail on the headset speaker and also on the key pad.

The chair looks great. There's a little tiny hole on one side of the phone (and only one side), where the end of the cord fits into.

He kept slipping right out of the chair, so I stuck him into it with one larger fig sticker. Easy enough. But then, it was phone wrangling time. The phone handset only goes in one angle and one way. There ends up being plenty of room in his grip once you get the phone in it, but only in the midsection of the phone.

OK, great, right? Actually, terrible. If you zoom in a little, you can see a notch on his finger where the phone cord is supposed to wrap around, just like in that screen grab I, uh, grabbed. However, his knee is in the way of the cord. I tried very gently bending the cord to try to get it to connect to his finger, and no way. I tried bending it a little harder, but it's fairly rigid, and I was worried I would snap it in two.

Unfortunately, because of the sharp angle of the cord, when I attach the phone into the hole on the side, you end up with this weird kind of half-standing phone. And, it covers up his foot, which kind of ruins the whole casual vibe of the look.

The funny thing is, I had actually seen photos of this fig on xhs (a Chinese equivalent of Instagram) looking exactly like this. I remember thinking, my goodness, why do they have the phone looking so weird? WELL NOW I KNOW.

You and me, Zhehan. And Hanbao!

Here's another try, where I focused on getting the cord as close enough to his finger as possible. You can see how the handset is almost coming out of his hand, and how the cord is in no way reaching his index finger.

Here's an even worse configuration! I'm not easily discouraged, but let me tell you, I started muttering some choice words after a while. I fiddled with this so much it really is remarkable I didn't end up snapping the cord or wiggling the other end of it loose.

Did I ever get it to work? No. I finally just stuck the phone on his lap in aggravation and started to fire off some pics.

The patchy area on his eyebrow is not a flaw, it's simply a ray of sunlight gently touching his face.

You will note here though that he's not centered on the chair - there's a lot of distance between his curled-up leg and the armrest. That's not a trick of the camera angle, that's actually how it is. When he's centered in the chair, his hand fits perfectly over the armrest, which further negates any possibility of the phone cord wrapping around his finger, so I tried to scooch him over a bit to see if that would be the solution. Nope! It sure wasn't. I haven't moved him back over yet though, but I'm going to.

You can see here how his hand doesn't fit on the armrest of the chair, but it normally would.

I really do like the chair. It's smoothly molded with no real flaws or inclusions in the acrylic. What you see as weird bumps and ridges is actually just the summer sunlight pouring in through my window and reflecting off Junjun's colorful suit.

Case in point! You can really see the outline of the fig through the chair here.

As you might imagine, this fig is pretty heavy. That head is pretty huge, and the chair is fairly light, so that contributed to him slipping out of it so easily. The fig sticker has been working very well to keep him sitting firmly in the chair though.

The only problem with the fig sticker, of course, is that his foot doesn't touch the ground, since the sticker is fairly thick. I really ought to just glue him to the chair, but I dislike doing anything permanent to the figs unless I absolutely have to. I don't mind his feet not touching the ground!

I really dislike the phone in his lap, but we're just not going to mention it. Instead we're just going to admire the leaves in his absolutely enormous eyes and his gold Tiffany ring.

Here's a slightly more angled-down shot so you can see how close the cord manages to get to his hand on the chair (although of course it makes the handset almost come out of his other hand). Keep in mind at this point the other end is not actually attached to the phone, it's just hiding underneath the base there. If had actually tried to attach the phone to the base, it would be standing up strangely on one corner on the ground or something.

Please note the beauty mark on his chest! That's a nice touch.

I'm not sure why his curled up foot (and his chest, for that matter) is skewing so white colored here. It looks like he has a sock on! That foot is indeed a bit lighter than the foot resting on the floor, but not that much.

You can see how his hand is molded to fit around the armrest of the chair, and the detail on his toes.

The box card art and box are similar to the other fig, but prominently feature the red inflatable chair. Which makes sense, this is the "deluxe" part of this deluxe version!

Material: Resin (figure) and acrylic (chair)

Fig Count: 424

Scene Count: 29

Rating: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

#gong jun #word of honor cast #figthusiast

[pfhwrittes]

You’re so sweet!! I actually do work in call centers/corporate customer service now! It’s a LOT easier for sure, in many ways, but one of the things I miss that you illustrate SO beautifully in the Retail Hell AU is the camaraderie you have with the other people you work with, how you all become protective of each other, how you all waste time on the clock together, and how nice it is to work with people who have your back. I am thrilled to accept your hybrid hug/high five/handshake!

Please don’t feel obligated to pick up a fic you’ve put down for me! IF you want to and IF you have time I’d love Price or Ghost but truly you write all four boys so well I’d be thrilled with any of them. And again, NO PRESSURE! You put it down for a reason and if you need to keep it tucked away that’s absolutely okay, I appreciate just the offer!

♥️♥️♥️

-✨♥️🗡

✨♥️🗡 you're back! yay!

hey quick question, how are you getting on with being made to sit/exist in one spot for your entire shift instead of constantly moving? when i did a brief spell in a contact centre work they had to give me a bluetooth headset so i could wander up and down the row without pulling the cord out of the weird phone set they used. good times.

oh thank you! i'm so glad i manage to show that it's the goofing off with colleagues who become your friends that really makes it! i used to love the unofficial huddles i'd have with my team/friends from other departments whenever a team leader or manager wasn't looking. or putting away go-backs and running into someone and we'd very leisurely take a turn about the store to catch up on gossip.

i ended up working in so many departments (front end, seasonal, decor, showrooms, stockflow) that i somehow managed to make friends with nearly everyone in the store. it was great. especially when the stockflow manager would swoop me out of the store on my lunch break for a cheeky milkshake or when the showrooms guys would stop mid-consultation to ask if i wanted to look at their bathroom design. (or when i'd play hide and seek with the seasonal team in the garden centre during the summer and whoever got found would get soaked with the hosepipe)

i've got a little something bubbling away for you which i'll post separately when it's done. thank you again for being so nice and inspiring me to pick up retail hell au again. ♥️

#pfh answers #retail hell au #✨♥️🗡 anon #i promise i did actually do some work when i was in b&q i didn't goof off all the time #however on a sunday afternoon after the store closed at 4pm and most of us were still scheduled in to work until 5pm/6pm #there would definitely be an increase in various shenanigans depending on who the duty manager was

[ded-and-gonne]

Ded & Gonne present

Chapter 6: The Evil Lair

<<————————————————————>>

AN: For anyone who has been following @sheehalloween 2022, this will be a bit of time travel. Whoops: I posted my first Devil’s Night story out of order. Technically, it takes place after the action of this chapter. Couldn’t move forward with Devil’s Night until this went up. TW: flirtation between two not-brothers, my sense of humor, klaus’s lucky boa, sometimes calling ben evil

Ded & Gonne || Masterlist || Prev: Ch5 || Next: Devil’s Night

<<————Ded & Gonne Chapter 6————>>

Mean Ben is deadly serious. “Klaus. Is it an Evil Lair? Klaus? Don’t fuck with me on this. I need this.” His voice emanates from the ornate headset of the shop’s very bronze antique telephone.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, you big meanie.” Klaus likes to taunt people. That’s what’s happening here. He called Ben up specifically to taunt him. (With a door, which incidentally, does not display Ben’s name. Yet.)

“Yes, Klaus. I do want to know. Tell me. Or I swear Klaus, I will-” As you know, Mean Ben loves to threaten people. He was born for it.

Klaus likes to picture that butch scar whenever he’s taunting Ben. Pretty much daily. Just cuz, you know, running the building stuff. That’s all it is. ‘Course it is.

Klaus winds the cord of the phone around his finger. He made the executive decision to keep all the landlines. Even he doesn’t know how many there are. “What’s with the whole Evil Lair thing, Bennerino? Childhood dream?”

“Your childhood nightmare, asshole.”

“Nightmare asshole? What kind of dreams are you having, Benji?” Klaus giggles in the background.

Ben decides to move on. It’s called ‘restraint.’ He’d like to restrain Klaus, and probably will get around to it eventually, but not today. No, not today.

“And I am not a meanie. I am evil. There’s a difference.” This is one of those moments when he really wishes he was there to point angrily and aggressively at Klaus. It’s a stabby kind of motion.

Ben continues with a sneer, “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before. Are you writing this down? That would help keep us from having it again.” Ben sighs the sigh of a man enjoying being annoyed. “Spit it out, Klaus. What did you find?”

“Well,” Klaus responds slowly, with more sexy winding of the phone cord, “I was lounging in my usual spot on the chaise longue by the register when something creepy tickled me.”

“Something did what.” Ben’s voice is deadly serious again. His self-awareness notices this and forces him to backpedal, glossing over it with a mumbled, “I mean, not that I care or anything.”

“Yeah! It tickled the little hairs on my neck.”

“The-” Ben starts then stops.

“The little hairs on my neck, yes. So I put on my lucky boa — you know the one.”

Ben does not contradict him.

“Of course you do! What am I thinking?” Klaus chides himself (for what might be the first time ever), and shakes his head. “Yeah, you know the one. So I put it around my neck, because I figure y’know, feathers are for keeping birds warm. And then I lit a cigarette-”

“Skip to the end, Klaus,” Ben warns, doing that thing he always does, which is losing patience. “Wait,” he interrupts his impatience. “Are you smoking again?”

“No one ever truly quits, babe.”

“You are such a lying asshole. Why do I believe a single word you say? I should have known,” Ben huffs.

“I’m kidding! I quit.” …Wait for it… “Until I started getting really bored.” Ah. There it is. “And cigarettes are better for me to soothe my oral fixation than food, even. It’s true! In the long run, I mean. Girlish figure and all.” Do not follow Klaus’s example. Which applies to pretty much everything, so no big news there.

Ben has been taken by surprise enough to make him behave in an awkward fashion. Related to the oral fixation Klaus mentioned. “Your oral what now?”

Klaus just rolls rough-shod right over him and his words. “Anyway, I’m immortal. Why wouldn't I smoke, is more the right question, Ben.”

“Might be because, Klaus, it makes you smell.”

“I already know how to smell,” Klaus taunts. “And anyways…Hypocrite! You’re a sometimes-smoker!” Klaus is outraged, figuring he’ll give the emotion a try and see how it feels. It feels ok. “Have you ever noticed that former smokers are the worst non-smokers ever? It’s known by science. And I do not smell.”

“Yeah you do,” Ben snarks. “It’s gross. Wait! I’m not doing this with you right now. Skip to the end, Klaus.”

“So hot when you use that tone of voice,” Klaus purrs. Before Ben can warn him again, Klaus gets back on track. “Sorry, about the sexy. Just thought I’d lean into it a little, but that’s ok, one day at a time.”

“Klaus!”

“Don’t interrupt me, Benji.”

“Klaus! Don’t you ever-”

“Don’t I always? As I was saying when I was so rudely interrupted, my lucky boa found a door.”

Klaus pauses, because he knows the heart attack he has caused/induced on the other end.

Evil Ben just got very deadly serious. “You found a what.” There was no question mark at the end of that sentence. At least Ben meant for it to be obvious that there was only a flat, dull period at the end of that question. Ben believes it makes him scarier and even more evil.

“Hoooo, I knew this was going to be good.” Klaus’s voice has just gone up an octave and giggled with almost as much delight as when he wore his soon-to-be-lucky boa to that Backstreet Boys reunion concert. Like teen Klaus squealing while also sporting a raging hard-on. One of the best nights of his life. This is almost like that. “Wanna know how?”

“If the sentence ends with the word ‘door,’ then yes.” Ben is learning the delicate dance of Klaus. Like slipping between all the distracting trip wires and loooong detours to Chatty Town. Just go with it, and know it’ll end the way you want it to. He hopes.

“So the little pink feathers were shivering, too. And I thought, ‘buck up little feathers, we’re in this together.’ But then I realized that not all of us were in it together!”

“Klaus.” Appears he really hasn’t learned how to dance with Klaus. Ben’s warning voice begins the countdown at Defcon 5.

“They weren’t in it together because only one end was shivering. It wasn’t monsters creeping up behind me, after all! It was a breeze. Are you impressed yet?”

“No.” Seriously, what did Klaus expect?

“Ok,” Klaus forges on. “So you know how my power makes me both woo-woo and spooky?” Klaus doesn’t bother waiting for an answer. “Well, other woo-woo people like that talk about, like, these hanging, dangling thingies that you follow around until you find gold or the philosopher's stone. So I was like, ‘Lucky Boa! You are my divining rod! You are my pits and my pendulums!’ Reminds me of that fortuitous snow globe. The right magical item at the right magical time.” Klaus enjoys being an educator. “I have a powerful dousing boa! I followed the boa straight to the source of the cold breeze!”

“Klaus? Do not go through that door.”

“What? Why not?”

“Klaus, whatever you do, don’t touch it.”

“Why not?”

“Klaus? Don’t you dare.”

“Huh? Oooohhh, I see what’s happening here. You just want you to be the one who opens it.” Klaus already knew this, which is why he hasn’t already opened it.

“Klaus! It’s my building! My name is over the door! Don’t you touch that god-damned door.”

“Ah, now I get the allure of the name over the door thing. You just want to throw it around since you can’t throw your weight around.”

“What?” Klaus has caught him off guard. “Why can’t I throw my weight around?”

Klaus sighs wistfully. “Just like my sweet boy. The boring one who used to nag me about orange juice and smoking eggs.”

“What about your sweet baby Ben who is so much better at everything than anybody else. According to you.”

“He didn’t have any weight on him, either.”

“KLAUS!”

“Evil Ben?”

“That’s right I am, and I am warning you, don’t touch that fucking door! Or I will murder you in your sleep. I’ll dangle you from your toes til you starve to death.” He believes he’s just tossed out a good, solid threat. He’s proud.

“In my sleep?”

No one would blame you for rolling your eyes or laughing derisively. Ben deserves it.

Klaus has been musing while you were laughing derisively. “I wonder where that kid Stanley is. My little nephew with the ear cheese. He would have loved this. He eats awkward for dinner.”

“It’s my building. It’s my name. It’s my door. Klaus? Listen to me. Listen very carefully. It’s mine, and I will be there instantly. Wait for me, and don’t even look at it til I get there. Just, it’ll, no, five. Count to five and I’ll be there. Instantly.”

<<———>>

Meanwhile, Logan gets snowed in for like three days. You saw that coming, cuz fate telegraphed it. By the time Evil Ben arrives, Klaus hasn’t seen him in 6 months and 5 days.

<<———>>

Klaus is still considering alternative names for the bookstore. It’s his new hobby. The Noccult Bookstore is still a favorite. “Books & Bodies? Ben’s House of Evil & Books?”

The door blows open screaming “Slam!”

It’s Evil Ben. He is not in a joking mood. Or a talking mood. Or a hugging kind of mood. Without even removing his galoshes, he stalks across the floor of the shop, pausing at the door to all the back rooms, and without turning says, “Where is it? Show me. Now.”

“Oh, so that’s all I’m good for, is now? I’m hurt, Benji.”

“You will be in a world of hurt if you do not show me to my Evil Lair instantly.”

“That’s kind of asking a lot, Ben. Not everybody gets places instantly. That’s a Five thing. And a {Ben + Logan Airport} thing, proving that {instantly = 3 days}.” Klaus inspects his fingernails conspicuously. “I’ve always been gifted at theoretical mathematics, don’t know why.” Klaus is so close to experiencing wrath, but he’s aware, so it’s ok.

“Now!”

“Ok, ok. Now is more manageable than ‘instantly.’” Klaus flaps his hand to indicate that Ben should wait.

Pulling three janitorial-sized key rings out of a drawer, Klaus winds his Lucky Boa around his neck and approaches Ben. All told, there have to be almost a hundred keys. All of them, keys to the building. Parts. Parts of the building.

“Hug me and I’ll show you.” Klaus is officially on thin ice. Officially. “Ok fine! Fine, fine, fine. I’ll take you to the frickin-” Klaus jerks open the door to all the back rooms. He likes to think of it as his Back Door. Easier than calling it the ‘Door To All the Back Rooms’ in his head every time he sees it.

<<———>>

Ben follows Klaus upstairs with great agitation. He wants to run to his Evil Lair, but Klaus is the one who knows where it is. They finally reach the second floor, which is where a room with a hole in the floor looking down into the shop below, should be.

They clear the stairwell door, and Ben is already breathlessly demanding, “Which one is it, Klaus? Which one?” There’s only one direction from the stairs, and Ben is speed-walking down the hall, looking at doors.

“I set up the next one over from my room for you. I couldn’t find fresh sheets, but-”

“Klaus! Which one!”

“It’s the one at the end. The one next to my bedroom that is, therefore, right next door to it.” Klaus wants to whisper ‘Your Evil Lair,’ accompanied by twinkle fingers, but he restrains himself. This is Ben’s moment, and Klaus wants to let him have it.

Ben is standing in front of the correct door. “It’s the one that says ‘Dead Letter Office’ on the door, isn’t it. I can feel it. Can you feel it? Nevermind, get away. Don’t touch it. When was the last time you washed your hands?”

Ben tries the handle. “It’s locked?” His face pales. “Did I come all the way to Boston for this?” He slumps against the door looking deflated and a little bit glisteny around the eye area.

“Cambridge, Ben. It’s Cambridge, not Boston. We’ve talked about this,” says Klaus in a strained voice, due to Ben’s fingers strangling him. “You don’t want your neighboring Cantabridgeans hating you, do you? They feel strongly about this.”

Klaus can handle himself in a fight if he needs to, and he steps easily out of Ben’s strangulation hold. “You’ll get used to it, when you move here.” Ben is momentarily distracted by this. “Because now that you have an Evil Lair, Evil Ben, you’re going to need to mastermind from it. On an ongoing basis.” Klaus knows this for a fact. So do you, really.

“It’s time to move your base of operations, Ben. And let Diego & Lila have the place in LA. Just make them save two of the seven bedrooms for us.”

“I hate you. I hate you so much,” Ben whispers, with his forehead against the door. He takes stock of his options, and thinking it over thoroughly and completely, he decides it might be worth staying to see, well, whatever’s worth seeing.

“There, there. It’s ok, Benji. We have keys! Look at all these beautiful keys!” They’re heavy. He jangles them. It’s loud. “You can spend as long as you want trying them. It can be a hobby, while you get used to living here. I can’t amuse you all the time. Just some of the time.”

“Who said I’m moving here?” asks Ben, wondering how he’s lost control of his life.

Klaus waves with a big smile. “I did!”

<<———>>

Ded & Gonne || Masterlist || Start: Ch1 || Prev: Ch5 || Next: Devil’s Night

Devil’s Night is part of the inspiring @sheehalloween 2022 event. Start Here!

<<———>>

#klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua #tua fanfic #robert sheehan #justin h. min #ben hargreeves fanfic #klaus hargreeves fanfic #ded & gonne #chapter 6 #the evil lair #the mystery of the dead letter office #part 2 #tua s3 #justin h min #justin min #mean ben hargreeves #mean ben #sparrow ben hargreeves #sparrow ben #sheehalloween 2022 #ded and gonne booksellers and private dicks #ded and gonne bookstore and detective agency #ded and gonne #robert sheehan character fic #robert sheehan character fanfic #justin min fanfic #justin min fic

[brightgnosis]

My poor Husband's really had a rough go of it the last week 😭 It's rare to see him ill because he has the far better immune system of the two of us (which is great for me since I'm immunocompromised and he's the one that works outside of the home. So he rarely brings things home to me) ... But boy, when he has issues he has issues and it sucks for him.

On Sunday he nearly got food poisoning because we had a couple cans of soup that were out of date in the pantry and he ate one of them. Thankfully he managed to throw it up early enough that he wasn't horrifically ill- only his vocal cords were fried for about half a week, and he had a slight fever for a couple days. But he still had to take Tuesday off work because he just couldn't talk to the headsets.

Then yesterday he came home from work (his first day back after the soup incident) with a Migraine so bad that I'm honestly impressed that he was even able to drive himself home; when he finally got down the stairs and to his computer desk, he was swaying so bad I had to catch and steady him.

I forced him to take an Excedrin- and when that didn't work, a Tylenol Rapid Release Extra Strength from my Fibro cache (which he tried to fight me on because "I need my medicine more" 🙄). After a cold compress and running through a list of things to make sure it wasn't something we could fix through intake (caffeine, nicotine, etc), I finally shoved him into bed and forced him to lay down.

He slept until about 9 or so when his mother accidentally called him from upstairs and woke him up (which annoyed me, but her phone was being weird and freaking out because of water damage- and she'd just been messaging me on Facebook Messenger to make sure we were alright because she hadn't seen us all night- so I can't actually be too mad about it). But thankfully he was able to get back to bed after a big bowl of Ramen and a cup of Tea.

He went back in to work this morning and says he's feeling a lot better now. Just a few hateful twinges in random spots here and there. But I forced him to accept a small baggie of my Tylenol in his lunch pail, and so he's taken one of those already and it's helping him.

He feels so bad now for "ruining my week", though. Which is nonsense, because he didn't ruin anything; I'm glad that I was doing well enough this week that I could take care of him while he wasn't feeling all that well and was having his own issues.

He loves me and he thinks it's worth it to spend so much money on me, and so much time and energy working and taking care of me all the time, with all of my issues that I have as a disabled person. And while I don't enjoy seeing him in these kinds of states any more than he enjoys seeing me in mine ... In a weird kind of round-about way? It is nice whenever I'm able to finally show him the same form of care and love that he shows me daily.

I'm happy to take care of him, and to give back to him in the same way he does me ... But boy I do definitely understand the guilt of being ill and having to dominate someone's care and time because of it all too well.

I think I'm going to do a Novena for his health, however, after the way this week has gone. Especially now that I remembered I can actually do a lot more here than I thought I could ... I just need to find a suitable prayer to do it with; he's a Red Letter Nordic-Protestant syncretist and I'm NeoWiccan-Noahide syncretist, ha. It's going to take a moment to finagle something appropriate to both of us.

#Personal #2022 #Daily Life #Alphabet Soup #Prayer & Adoration #Religion & Magic