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jo-harrington · 10 months

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Peak Sales Hours (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: After his first Black Friday, Eddie is exhausted and takes comfort in his new relationship with you.

Previous Part: Promotion

Warnings/Themes: Established friendship/new relationship, fluff, hurt/comfort(?), idk it's a lot of comfort, working in retail hell, Eddie works at Tape World and Reader is the Store Manager at Claire's in Starcourt Mall, angry customers, weariness

Note: So...hi guys. Welcome back to the Store Manager Verse. This little installment is sort of skipping a step. I had a whole thing planned and half-written of Eddie and our favorite SM actually confessing their feelings and being fluffy...and it's still gonna happen I'm just...on day whatever of work and have a big deadline and have had sleep for lunch the past I-don't-know how many days.

And it just took me back to the countless Black Friday and Peak Holiday shifts where all I wanted was to get back home. So here we are.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

___

Never, in his entire life, had Eddie Munson felt more akin to the heroes from his favorite fantasy stories.

Long journeys and harrowing battles.

Deep wounds and comrades lost to the beyond.

Hoards of villains and the promise of a better future if only there was hope.

Taran. Aragorn. Luke Skywalker. They had seen it all.

"What's taking so long? I just need a gift receipt!"

But none of them had ever worked Black Friday.

He had experienced Black Friday before, as a shopper.

Thanksgiving hadn't ever been anything magnificent in the Munson household, especially after his mom died. Wayne and Rick had always tried to make it still feel special for Eddie, with hearty midwest comfort foods.

There would always be a full belly and an even fuller heart with his uncle and his almost-step-dad around. Eddie could never complain.

Then after a late afternoon dinner, Wayne would pack up a plate of leftovers to make his shift at the plant that paid time-and-a-half, plus a little something extra from the plant manager, cash in hand. By the time Eddie woke up the next morning, Wayne would pull up with a box of fresh donuts, honk three times, and they would be on their way to the Kmart on Rt 9 and get some steeply discounted goods with Wayne's holiday pay.

It was always a madhouse, but Eddie could swiftly dodge screaming kids, empathize with over-caffeinated employees, and wait in long lines if he and Wayne didn't need to fret about things like work boots and gloves, t-shirts and underwear, and usually one nice little Christmas gift for each of them.

This year, of course, had been a little different. Wayne had been a little disappointed--he would never admit it, but Eddie could tell--that their tradition would be forsaken for Eddie's shift at the mall. But your addition into the Thanksgiving festivities had been a welcome one.

Eddie had extended the invitation weeks ago, when you mentioned you wouldn't be able to make it home to spend the holiday with your family thanks to work.

You, of course, promised to pull your weight--

"It's always really casual," he tried to ease your worries as you began to fret over what kind of dessert Wayne and Rick might like. "You don't even need to dress up. Come in your pajamas. Rick makes a really good pumpkin pie, and I have my mom's old scalloped potato recipe that will literally put you in a food coma."

"What about turkey?" you asked.

"We don't really do turkey." He shrugged. "There's only three of us. So we do different things every year. Rick usually catches some kind of fish if it's warm enough. Wayne has a good recipe for fried chicken. We were thinking of doing meatloaf..."

"I can do the meatloaf!" You perked up immediately.

--only to show up laden with a roasting pan for the meatloaf, a plastic-wrapped gravy boat full of some kind of mushroom gravy, a salad, and a casserole dish overflowing with green beans, cream-of-something soup, and heaps of french fried onions.

Eddie, of course, scolded you as you shuffled through to the kitchen, much like he had the first time you showed up for dinner at his place. But he also placed a soft peck on your lips, which earned him a bashful smile as you shoo'd him away.

That was a new development to your...friendship, if you could even call it that anymore. There really hadn't been time to discuss the logistics between the frenzied makeout session in his van outside of the Hideout this past Tuesday night and Thanksgiving dinner.

Now that he had been trapped at the cash wrap, ringing out ungrateful customers for the past 8 hours, he was almost loathing his past self for wanting to be a little discreet in front of Wayne and Rick. For not...making himself have the "what are we" conversation with you, because your lips had soothed every frazzled nerve he had the other night.

Knowing that at the end of the day that he wasn't going through it alone, that his girlfriend was also in the mall suffering through the mass chaos and that he could go upstairs and steal a kiss whenever he wanted...well it certainly would have done him a world of good to mentally prepare him for this.

For the entirety of his time working at Tape World, he thought he had been doing a pretty good job. Sure there were some hard days, some rude customers. But at the end of the day, an 8-hour shift was an 8-hour shift, and he was only selling tapes. Not...ending world hunger.

"Ah you say that now," Kyle told him on Wednesday as they were putting together cardboard "dump bins" for the discount tapes that would be placed every 10 feet in the store. "But Black Friday is a beast, and Christmas Eve is worse. You're honestly lucky you only work here and not at, like, Radio Shack or something. My buddy Todd has seen some shit.

"Actually, I'm almost regretting scheduling you as a mid but I needed a second key." Kyle rubbed the back of his neck. "Peak Hours. Mid's a rough shift for Black Friday weekend."

"I'll be fine," Eddie scoffed. "I've done mid shifts before. I'm almost excited. How bad could it get?"

Famous. Last. Words.

He had barely been able to squeeze into the store when it was time for his shift, the line for the cash wrap blocked the way to the stockroom door. As soon as people saw his name tag, they started shouting at him to open the other register, how they needed help; he could barely get a word out to explain that he wasn't clocked in yet. They didn't care.

He was no longer Eddie Munson, Tape World Keyholder and your boyfriend, probably, maybe...

He was a body who could unlock the electronics case and ring them out.

He was a husk who said "welcome in" and "thanks have a great day" and smiled until his face started hurting.

And for the first time since he had gotten this job back at the beginning of summer...it really fucked with him.

His legs were cramped from standing at the Cash Wrap for so long, he wasn't sure which of the associates had his keys, his hair was damp with sweat even if he threw it into a some haphazard bun hours ago.

He'd been yelled at by more people than he could count, counted so much change the edges of his fingers were pretty much stained from all the muck and grime on everyone's money, and had made so many returns from people with buyer's remorse that he was sure they had given more money back than they had made in sales today.

Eddie hadn't even gotten a chance to take his lunch out in the mall and pay you a visit like he typically would. He had just collapsed in the little metal folding chair in the break area of the tiny stock room. Kyle had clapped him on the shoulder with a quick "good job kid" as he left for the day and Eddie hadn't even moved.

"Alright Ed," Paulie shuffled over as Eddie wrapped up the last in a long line of transactions and was about to wave the next customer over. "Quitting time."

Eddie sighed and backed against the counter as Paulie counted him down. The adrenaline of the day finally started to wear off as he came to realize that it was all over, and a weariness unlike the one he had been feeling his entire shift settled deep into his bones.

He went through the motions as he went back to the stockroom to grab his jacket and punch out. He wove his way through the still-crowded store and out into the mall, sighing in relief as the cooler mall air hit him.

It was gonna be a mercy once he got out to his van. He'd drive home with the windows down.

His ears rang as he headed towards the employee entrance and he wondered if it would be worth waiting in line at the Orange Julius before he left or if he should just stop through the McDonald's drive thru or something on his way home.

"Eddie."

But then, he didn't really need to stop for anything. There were leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner at home. He could smoke a little bit, make some kind of meatloaf sandwich, and then sink into his bed.

"Eddie."

And sleep until...

Fuck.

He was gonna have to do it all again tomorrow. And the day after that.

He thought back to his favorite fantasy heroes and wondered how they did it. How they put themselves through endless journeys, practically sacrificed themselves time and again.

And he could barely make it through a shift at the Starcourt Mall of all places.

"Eddie!"

He crashed right into your hands as you planted them on his shoulders and prevented him from absolutely barreling into you.

"Jesus are you ok?" you exclaimed and pulled him off to the side of the walkway to get out of the way of foot traffic.

Was he? Probably not.

"Yeah," he shook his head and answered. He finally looked at you, finally actually saw you. Dressed in your Teen Vogue best, as you called it, although a little worse for wear, if the eyeshadow smeared where it definitely shouldn't be and your jewelry all askew was any indicator. "Yeah I'm fine.

"You sure? You looked like you were in a trance," you explained. "I've been calling your name for a little while."

"Oh shit," he sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Yeah, no...it's...It was just a long day."

You didn't hesitate. Your arms immediately wrapped around him and you pulled him in. Pulled him back from whatever precipice he was about to launch himself off of, and straight into the comfort of you.

---

Before long, Eddie found himself in your apartment, fully upside down with his legs propped against the wall as he enjoyed the Blizzard he'd picked up on the way.

"You know just cuz you can hold it upside down, doesn't mean you're supposed to eat it upside down," you laughed as you filled a pot with water and put it on the stove.

"And what are you, the Blizzard expert," Eddie scoffed. "If you'll recall I was the one who took you to Dairy Queen for the first time."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." You rolled your eyes and turned to grab some cans from the cupboard.

You had offered to make dinner--again--while he vented about his shift. Nothing as spectacular as what you made for Thanksgiving dinner, but it left the leftover meatloaf for Wayne to take for his lunches.

"You're lucky I like your spaghetti sauce," Eddie grumbled, a little sad that he couldn't have his meatloaf sandwich.

So he talked as you ran to your bedroom to rid yourself of the remnants of who you became when you were at Starcourt, and as you emerged the person that, he liked to believe, was reserved especially for him.

He told you about the back to back returns he had dealt with when he came back from lunch as you dropped dried pasta into the boiling water and grated garlic into sizzling oil.

He complained about the man who demanded help from a manager only even though all he wanted was a special edition cassette deck that had all the bells and whistles and anyone with keys could help him. His voice got louder and meaner as he quoted the jackass verbatim, but the sharp strike of your wooden spoon against the side of the pot brought him back down to earth.

And as he finished up his story about having to count Sam's register three times because he forgot that there were large bills under the cash tray, you joined him on the couch with a bowl of steaming hot pasta for each of you.

He righted himself and discarded the empty blizzard cup on your coffee table.

"First Black Friday in the books," you announced and you passed the bowl to him. "I'm proud of you."

"Proud?" Eddie groaned. "Seriously? It was a disaster."

"They always are," you explained sagely.

"You survived," he pointed out.

"So did you."

"Barely."

"So?" you asked and twirled noodles on your fork expertly. "Doesn't that count? This is, like...my 5th Black Friday? My 6th? I count each one as a victory. And so should you."

You leaned over to kiss his cheek, then clinked plates with his in a salute, and then the two of you fell into contented silence as you ate.

As Eddie worked ravenously through the layers of starchy, cheesy, garlicky goodness, he realized that the weariness that had settled within him after his shift had started to alleviate. How he felt more like himself now that he was sitting next to you, basking in the warm glow of your company.

He briefly considered this ritual the two of you had been engaging in for months. The way you shared stories and foods and got closer to one another. He had always been a little worried that things would change if he ever got his wish, if this friendship with you ever became more.

But it was like nothing had changed at all.

He wanted to ask, was tempted to ask, what this was? If this was a date, like all the dates that weren't dates hadn't been before? If you were his girlfriend now?

But then...he recalled the time that you had a bad day and you immediately found relief in him, how he thought that he didn't need to be your knight as long as he could be your home.

And Eddie realized that whatever the two of you decided it would be, whether you were still just his friend, or if you were his girlfriend, or maybe...maybe something else...

You, too, would always be his home at the end of a long battle.

---

Next Part: Disaster Preparedness

Tag List for Store Manager Verse is still temporarily suspended. Thank you for understanding.

#Eddie munson x reader #Eddie munson fic #Eddie munson stranger things #stranger things fic #Eddie munson #Eddie munson fluff

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toomanystoriessolittletime · 4 months

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My entry for the @pickled-pena challenge!

Summary: You meet Javier Peña on a New Years Eve party. A year later you're still together, making plans for the future.

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem. reader

Wordcount: 1.3k

Rating: M

Warnings: falling in love, fluff, pregnancy, dumb puns, kissing, suggestive language, awful lot talk of pickles

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

A new year always seemed to come with expectations. You never really understood why everyone was expected to celebrate the changing of the years. Why everyone expected everyone to be in a good mood and wanting to celebrate the changing of years.

All New Years eve to you was, was your parents now not needing an excuse to get drunk and party when you were growing up. They were young when you were born. Just out of high school. And they tried, at least in the beginning from what you could remember.

You did not like New Years eve, and you hated new years resolutions. They never worked for you you, so you didn’t bother. And you did not celebrate New Years.

That was until last year when your best friend dragged you to a house party, making you wear a dress you didn’t like but according to her making you look like a dream.

You never really went out, too busy with work and spending time in bed reading.

But his night, maybe after a couple of drinks you made a vow to yourself (not a resolution mind you) to be more open, to get out more, to maybe even find love.

That it would happen on the same night was not something you could have ever imagined.

You and Javier met twenty minutes after midnight.

He invited you for a free drink after saving you from the drunkest man you had ever encountered with the most stupid pick up line ever. You thought he was just being nice to you. It would take almost three weeks for you to figure out that he was genuinely interested in you.

You were more or less inseparable ever since.

It was a whirlwind, falling in love with Javier Peña.

He was still fighting his own demons, having spent years in the drug war in Columbia you only read about in the newspapers about. He had moved to Portland, Texas to be close to his father, but also have a new start where nobody knew him.

He told you almost everything about his time with the DEA, wanting you to know what kind of person he was, his mind made up about not deserving something good, something to love, to be loved.

It took some time to make him understand that you were in this for the long haul.

Something that came even more apparent when you found out your were pregnant just five months after making things official with him.

It’s how you found yourself six months pregnant on a ranch in Laredo, Texas on New Years eve. Javier’s father had invited you both to spend the holidays with him, wanting to get to know you, and while you were hesitant at first because of your past with your family, you quickly found yourself wondering if this was what the future would look like.

Lazy Christmas mornings spend with Javier in bed before you made breakfast. Chucho insisting on making the whole Christmas dinner, shooing you out of the kitchen everytime you even intended to help.

Presents wrapped under the Christmas tree.

It was like a dream.

Javier was out to help his father take care of the animals while you were preparing some potato salad for lunch. You were looking for the glass of pickles (well one of them, you had to have at least four different sorts in the house all the time because you had been craving different kinds) when the door opened behind you. Looking over your shoulder you saw Javier walk in, brushing his hands over his jeans, wearing a Cowboy hat on his head, before he gave you a small smile.

„Whatcha up to baby?“ He asked, walking over to you.

„Searching for the glass of pickles I need for the salad,“ you hummed, still on your tiptoes as you looked inside the fridge.

„Any specific kind?“ He asked. You felt his hand on your back and sighed.

„The ones with the red label on the jar?“ You said, still looking. They had a shitload of Garlic in them and you were craving garlic pickles. For the salad of course. Just for the salad.

He hummed, pushing the fridge closed and you pouted and turned around, finding him smiling down at you.

„If I remember correctly you ate the rest of those last night,“ he hummed, wrapping his arms around you.

You widened your eyes.

„I did not,“ you hissed.

„Did so. Found the whole jar empty this morning, next to an almost empty bottle of whipped cream,“ he nodded, trying to lean in to kiss you but you narrowed your eyes, bringing one of your hands up, your finger tipping pointing against his chest.

"You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?“ You asked and he huffed, still smiling. He leaned in, his lips at your ear.

„I was trying to get some sleep after you jumped me and made me made you cum four times,“ he whispered and your lips parted in mock shock, releasing a shaky breath.

„I made you? If I remember correctly you were very much into it, Mr. Peña,“ you teased and he shrugged.

„Never said I wasn’t,“ he finally kissed you and you hummed against his lips.

„Where’s your dad?“ You asked against his lips.

„Going to the store to get you your pickles,“ he grinned and you laughed.

„So that means… We have an empty house to ourselves for what? An hour?“ You asked.

„He’s gonna visit his brother too, so more like three hours,“ he nodded.

„Hmm…“ you hummed, bringing our arms up, your hands crossing behind his neck.

„Mhhh…“ he hummed back, his lips slowly wandering down your jaw.

„What… ever will we do with all that time?“ You asked innocently. He grinned at you, slowly turning you and walking you towards his bedroom, his lips on yours.

„Wanna check how often I can hide my pickle inside of you?“ he asked and you both started laughing seconds after.

„You did not just say that,“ you giggled, shaking your head.

„Yeah I can not believe I just said that either,“ he shook his head, helping you sit down on the bed when you made it to the bedroom.

You let yourself fall back, sliding into the middle of the mattress, looking up at him.

„Only you could say something this stupid and still have me dripping for you,“ you sighed, parting your legs. Hungry eyes followed your every move, your fingers as the slowly pulled on the dress you were wearing, revealing more and more of your skin to his eyes.

„Yeah?“ He asked, his voice dark.

You let your eyes wander the length of his body, his shirt halfway unbuttoned, his cock already hard inside his jeans. Still wearing that cowboy hat.

„Wanna eat my pussy?“ You grinned and he groaned.

„Fuck yeah.“

It was in the early morning hours of the new year that you found yourself in front of the fireplace next to the Christmas tree, laying with your back against Javier’s chest.

His father had gone to sleep shortly after midnight, leaving the two of you alone.

„Any resolutions for the new year?“ You asked him, his hand slowly rubbing over your growing stomach.

„Many,“ he said, his lips close to your ear.

„Me too,“ you nodded.

„Wanna share?“ He asked. You shook your head no.

„Don’t wanna jinx it,“ you said and he sighed.

„Yeah, me neither.“

„Got one I wanna share though,“ you hummed, a smile playing on your lips.

„Yeah?“

„Gonna love you even more this year than I did last year,“ you whispered, feeling his arms tightening around you.

„Still love you more,“ he hummed and kissed you neck.

#my fic #javier peña #Javier Peña x fem. reader #Pedro pascal #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #pickled peña #pickledpeña #pickledpena #pickledpeña writing challenge

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msschemmenti · 7 months

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hinge - a potential series

eventual melissa schemmenti x reader

synopsis: melissa joins hinge. who will she match with?

a/n: hello yes i know i’ve been gone for over a month after saying i was going to finish some things. my job got SUPER busy! but i’m trying to get back into writing and with that in mind i wanted to do a little writing exercise that i thought could be fun. so basically this will be a one shot series where melissa matches with different readers each installment. i was thinking if you all were interested i could open my requests for descriptions of readers you’d like to see melissa chat with and date! this is just an introductory piece to the vision, but let me know if you all would be interested in submitting readers for this. if not that’s cool as well ahaha! but either way, i hope you enjoy this chaotic prologue.

“You know, you should really get back out there Melissa.” Jacob’s voice floated over Melissa's shoulder. The older woman felt the tension between her eyebrows tighten as she slowly turned to address the young teacher. Not only had he been listening in on her conversation with Barb, but now he was giving advice. She knew they shouldn’t have let him stay for the Christmas dinner, now he thinks he’s a part of their circle.

"What are ya talking about?" Melissa glared. Jacob had the sense to look a bit squeamish under her gaze but still cleared his throat as if to speak.

"I just mean, it's been months since Gary stopped stocking the vending machine. And kind of disappeared off the face of the Earth. And you're a beautiful woman, who deserves to be treated well. I'm sure there's a sea of men just waiting to make you their wife." Jacob rambled as his face grew red.

"First of all kid, I had nothing to do with Gary's career change and if you tell anyone different we'll have a problem. Second of all, I know I'm hot. I'm a Philly 11. I don't need no man making me his wife. I'm perfectly fine with the way my life is right now. Not that it's any of your business." Melissa scoffed with an eyeroll.

"Well that doesn't mean you can't see what's out there." Janine piped up from her seat next to Jacob.

"Oh you're one to talk, what does that even mean?" Melissa asked.

"Well, I'm not looking for a relationship right now because I'm working on myself. But that doesn't mean I don't want to see who's out there. Or even get a little validation from knowing someone wants me."

Melissa listened curiously, "and how exactly do you do that? Are you going to bars and turning down drinks or something?"

"No! Dating apps. People see my profile and like me but I don't have to say anything back." Janine explained.

"Oh yes! Before I met Zack I had a profile on all of the apps, just to make sure I wasn't missing any of the validation." Jacob added in causing Janine to nod.

"I think that could be good for you." Barb hummed before taking another bite of her salad.

"Not you too!" Melissa groaned before Ava walked through the door swiping on her phone.

"What we talking about?" Ava grinned looking around the tables.

"We're trying to convince Melissa to get back out there. On a dating app."

"Oh you should definitely do that. There's a market of men you're missing out on. Get you a young thing to get all up in that Italian Dressing." Ava said wiggling her eyebrows before reaching to make her coffee.

"Okay. None of that." Melissa groaned as she and Barb shook their heads in disappointment.

"No, you don't have to start out doing that. You can just start out seeing who's out there. Getting some likes, giving some likes, and then if you want to you can move it to chatting. It's all at your own speed." Janine tried to explain.

Before Melissa could even try to continue disagreeing, Ava had finished dumping sugar in her mug and had snatched Melissa's phone from the table. "The question is, what app do we get her on. I think Tinder is out if she's not gonna let any all up in her business. Bumble is dead and boring. What else is there?"

"How about none?"

"Oh Hinge! That ones really good." Jacob volunteered and Ava nodded moving to download the app on the older woman's phone.

"You are insane! Give me back my phone." Melissa tried to lunge at the taller woman.

"Stop fighting girlfriend. Just let it happen." Barbara appeased placing her hand on Melissa's shoulder in an attempt to calm her.

"Oh not you too!" Melissa sighed.

"Give in Schemmenti. I'm already creating your account." Ava grinned flashing the phone toward the older woman.

Seeing the phone, Melissa just shook her head. "I hate all of yous."

Ava took a seat in the middle of the table and smirked over her shoulder at Melissa. "Alright so let's get these questions and pictures together. Gotta show every how hot you are!"

Melissa scoffed but only rolled her eyes in response.

"So I got all the basics, now who are you looking for? Just men? Or are you down for a lil lady action? You seem like you'd know your way around the lady parts." Ava asked.

"Oh my god. You are the WORST!"

"That's not answering my question. You know what, I'll just put it as bisexual for now. Keep your options open. Let's find pictures for the prompts. You have any nudes in here I should be worried about seeing?" Ava asked shielding her eyes playfully.

"No? What kind of lady do you think I am?"

"I don't know. I'm just saying. Okay I already did the first one now the next one is 'As seen on my Mom's fridge', how about this cute picture of you and your blonde sister?"

"Yes that would be cute!" Janine smiled.

"Oh put this picture I secretly took of her crocheting on there. People love crafts!" Jacob said air dropping the photo to Melissa's phone.

"Why are you secretly taking pictures of me?" Melissa glared.

"Oh hush, it's helpful now. Oh a writing prompt, what are your simple pleasures?"

"Food, wine, and the Eagles." Melissa answered quickly.

"Let's say Cooking, wine, and the Eagles. People like cooking." Janine amended.

"Another picture, let's do this cute one with me in the back. That'll really get you some likes. I'm pretty well known around this app."

"Last prompt, the key to your heart?" Janine asked.

"A clean kitchen and an empty stomach." Melissa spoke with a shrug.

"Oh cause you like to cook for people. You're so good at this. Yes." Janine swooned.

"And with that, you're live. Now you just wait for the local baddies to match with you."

As Ava handed the phone, Melissa had no choice but to scroll. Well I guess this is what we're doing now.

"If this ends poorly, all of yous better watch your back."

#melissa schemmenti x reader #lisa ann walter x reader #lisa ann walter #abbott elementary x reader #msschemmenti #hinge series

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morethansalad · 2 years

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Festive Kale Salad (Vegan)

#vegan #salad #appetizer #cranberries #kale #vegan parmesan #pecans #nutritional yeast #salad dressing #lemon #maple syrup #garlic #mustard #easy to raw veganize #christmas

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dovahbeeotch · 4 months

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NORMANDY SR2 INFO BOARD HOLIDAY EDITION

[NEW MESSAGES AS OF 12:09]

12:09- XO. LAWSON: Good afternoon. As all of you know, it’s the winter holiday season on earth. I would like to invite @all to the starboard deck for a cultural exchange at 14:00 for anyone interested in learning about human winter traditions.

REMINDERS:

- Candy canes are NOT weapons. ALSO they are a privilege, not a right.

- Mistletoe (the greenery hanging from the roof) is NOT edible.

- Mess Sergeant Gardner is dressing up as Santa Clause; if you see a man with a white beard and red clothing DO NOT OPEN FIRE.

- Menorahs are NOT edible.

- Hot chocolate is HOT. Human skin is sensitive. For the love of god, just be responsible.

Happy Holidays. See you there.

12:10- FLT. MOREAU: seriously

12:10- LT. TAYLOR: how stupid do you think we are?

12:10- CHF. ZORAH: yayyy happy holidays! merry christmas, happy hanukkah, joyous kwanzaa, feliz navidad, gung hay fat choy!!! am i saying those right??

12:10- GO. VAKARIAN: someone did research last night

12:10- LC. SHEPARD: goddamn it, did grunt eat another menorah?

12:11- SPEC. JACK: im pretty sure mistletoe is edible. i mean it’s a plant, right?

12:11– SPEC. MASSANI: good goddamn point

12:11- SPEC. GRUNT: will there be food other than the roof salad

12:11- LC. SHEPARD: i would like to point out— candy canes absolutely are weapons. i dropped a guy with one once.

12:11- XO. LAWSON: Not helping, Shepard.

12:11- SPEC. GRUNT: noodles please

12:11- SPEC. KRIOS: Impressive, Commander.

12:11– SPEC. GRUNT: please teach me battlemaster

12:12– LC. SHEPARD: gladly. just suck on the tip until it’s pointy then ram it in the jugular. should work for humans, turians, drell, quarians, batarians, hanar (probably?) and vorcha. it’s messy as hell but satisfying.

12:12- XO. LAWSON: That’s it. You’ve all lost your candy cane privileges.

12:12– DR. SOLUS: Wise decision. Shepard and Grunt safety hazards.

12:12- CHF. ZORAH: seriously??? You can’t punish all of us for shepard’s bloodlust

12:12- SPEC. GOTO: so let me get this straight, miri. you trust us with your life in a firefight, but not with candy canes during a Christmas party?

12:13- XO. LAWSON: a HOLIDAY party. and yes, that is correct.

12:13- LC. SHEPARD: i mean… it sorta seems fair. i trust vakarian on my six with an SR… but with a taser? absolutely not.

12:13- GO. VAKARIAN: i think LCs been shot in the head one too many times

12:13- LC. SHEPARD: not the point, numb nuts

12:13- SPEC. SAMARA: If Commander Shepard can safely operate a live firearm, she should be able to responsibly handle a sharp sucrose stick.

12:13- SPEC. GOTO: you’d think

12:13- LC. SHEPARD: i don’t know if i can. i just get this overwhelming urge to stab.

12:13- DR. CHAKWAS: Pushing your psych eval forward, LC.

12:13- GO. VAKARIAN: called it!

12:14- SPEC. MASSANI: so this party… do we get turkey dinner if we show?

12:14- SPEC. JACK: what the fuck is a turkey

12:14- XO. LAWSON: Dinner will be at 18:00, given Gardner has finished up. No turkey, just rations.

12:14- GO. VAKARIAN: Why the hell does Gardner look like that? [image.attachment_sergeant_santa_clause]

12:14- LC. SHEPARD: huh. looks like he was born for the role.

12:14- CHF. ZORAH: this seems… offensive. why did he stuff his pants and belly?

12:15- FLT. MOREAU: compensation, zorah

12:15- CHF. ZORAH: ohhhh

12:15– FLT. MOREAU: it’s not a real holiday party without booze @XO

12:15- XO. LAWSON: the LAST thing this crew needs is alcohol

12:15- LC. SHEPARD: [image.attachment_secret_candy_canes] jokes on you @XO i bought myself some on the citadel. knew you’d pull this crap.

12:15- XO. LAWSON: fine

12:15- LC. SHEPARD: this too [image.attachment_4.5L_bottle_vodka]

12:15- XO. LAWSON: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

#sr2 info board #mass effect #HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!#me2 #shepard

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libraryofloveletters · 4 months

Text

Burnt

Darwin Nunez x Fem!Reader

Warnings: use of darwin's favourite phrase 'yeah man 😁', dinner parties are a lot of work, darwin is regretting his idea, wandering hands, almost pg-13, alexis is a cockblock and reader gets to play with darwin's hair loool

Word Count: 681

Author's Note: this whole idea came from me and pookie joking about how darwin would be like 'yeah man😁' to whatever you suggest lmao - this one's for you bookie @themandaloriansdiaries

Darwin suggests you host a dinner party at your place for a few of his teammates before you all head out for the holidays. He seems to have underestimate how much work goes into said party.

Your boyfriend suggested you do a little something at home to mark the end of the first half of the season, perhaps a party. You made him aware that throwing together an entire Christmas party in a week wouldn't be possible.

A dinner party would be more doable and Darwin being the darling he was, replied with a smile and his favourite phrase - "yeah man."

It would be a small party, 7 of you in total. You and Darwin, Lucho, Gera and their little girl, plus Alexis and his girlfriend. Your boyfriend wanted to get everyone together before you were all off for the holidays - Alexis headed home to Argentina, Lucho would be visiting family in Colombia and you and Darwin would be in Uruguay until their return to training.

You agreed to cook dinner rather than Cather, you figured it wouldn't be that difficult seeing that you prepped whatever you could ahead of time.

Darwin peeked into the kitchen, you had sent him out to fix the malfunctioning Christmas lights outside. "Need help?"

"Did you fix the lights?" You asked him, cutting the peppers.

He nods, getting water from the fridge, "yeah man, had to change the plug." He says, arms wrapping around you from behind. His chin rests on your shoulder, "is there anything I can do to help?"

"You can help me cook."

Darwin looked at the counter, the bowls and ingredients lined up were overwhelming. "You're using all this?"

"Yeah," you laughed, "all of this is prepped, you should have seen the place when you were at training yesterday."

Darwin lets go of you, "is there something else I can do?"

You grabbed his wrist, turning to face him before he could pull away. "These are your teammates, you're helping me cook, Darwin."

Never have you called him Darwin unless you were serious about it, and that you were.

The man nods, making him busy. He was more of a hazard than a help; he almost burnt the pasta for the mac and cheese, gagged at the touch of the raw chicken and nearly lost a finger while cutting stuff for a salad.

You take the knife from him, setting it aside to check his hand. "Jesus, be careful, will you?"

"Yeah man," he nods, "I got it."

The two of you finish up dinner earlier than expected, giving you more time to get ready.

Darwin was getting out of the shower as you finished up your makeup, looking for something for you to wear. You had just gotten dressed when he appeared in the room, shirt undo as was his hair. "Babbeeeeeeeeee," he calls, walking over to you as you were putting on your jewellery.

"What?" you looked at him in the reflection of the mirror.

He sits beside you, squeezing next to you on the bench in front of your vanity. "Can you do my hair? It's not going the way I want."

You get up, letting him sit properly as you grab the hair brush. "Do I have a choice?"

"No," he grins, leaning his head back for you to brush his hair.

You manage to get his hair into a bun, smoothing out all the bumps as you wrap the hair tie around it to secure it.

Darwin smiles, "perfect." He turns around, pulling you between his legs. "Thank you." He leans up and you meet him halfway, leaning down to kiss him. You can feel your boyfriend's hands rest on your ass, grabbing at it as he pulls you into him.

Just as you go to get on top of him, the doorbell rings. Alexis's voice carried from downstairs. "Open the door!"

You laughed, your boyfriend's face is against your side, groaning. "He's early," Darwin grumbles as he stands.

"You're late," you inform him, "it's 6:30, we invited them for 6."

"So he's late."

"Technically, yes." You did up the buttons on Darwin's shirt. "But you should have been ready by now."

"Not helpful, baby."

"Wasn't trying to be," you smiled, giving him one more kiss before you two headed down.

#holiday extravaganza blurbs 23 #darwin nunez #darwin nunez x reader #darwin nunez x you #darwin nunez x y/n #football x reader #football x you #football x y/n #football imagine #football blurb

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lisbeth-kk · 4 months

Text

December moments

Prompts used in this chapter: "did you bring your gun?" - sentiment - love

The boys are leaving 221B to spend some days at Sherlock’s parents. If John’s anxious about meeting them again? Not particularly, but he observes that he’s misjudged one of them quite profoundly.

December 23

They have an early breakfast at Mrs. Hudson’s before they leave for the train station. Gifts are exchanged and the elderly lady wishes them Happy Christmas when they kiss her goodbye.

They avoid the busy hours and arrive only twenty minutes before their train to Bexley, where Mr. Holmes will pick them up for the ten-minute drive to Wilmington.

“Did you bring your gun?” Sherlock asks John after he’s placed their luggage into the boot of Mr. Holmes’ car.

John chuckles, shakes his head and interlaces his fingers with Sherlock’s when they’re settled in the back seat. Sherlock grunts displeased, but the kiss he places on John’s palm, speaks another truth.

Mr. Holmes asks about Mrs. Hudson and both their works and tells Sherlock news about some of their neighbours. John learns that Holmes senior is quite the observer. When John lifts a questioning eyebrow at Sherlock, he only shrugs but his smile is fond and proud.

Mrs. Holmes is a whirlwind compared to her husband, and greets them with hugs, kisses and endless questions, while simultaneously making omelettes and dressing for the salad. John watches her in conversation with her youngest son and is soon joined by Sherlock’s father.

“He’s so much like his mother,” the elderly Holmes tells John.

“Oh, I don’t know, Mr. Holmes. I think Sherlock’s got his observation skills from elsewhere,” John retorts mildly.

And the adorable blushing when being praised, John notices.

It’s no secret that Violet Holmes, the mathematician professor, is a highly intelligent woman, but her husband, who’s just an ordinary teacher without the professor title, is far from an idiot. He’s astute, eloquent, and has a warm sense of humour, which makes him easy to talk to. Most of what Sherlock and his mother speak about, doesn’t make any sense to John whatsoever.

***

“Has anyone told you about your resemblance to your father?” John asks Sherlock after they’ve gone to bed that night.

Sherlock’s nuzzled into the crook of John’s neck, his favourite way of cuddling, and he rarely gives up the position, but now he almost knocks John’s jaw when he jerks his head up in surprise.

“My father? Never. I’ve always been told by everyone who knows us, I’m reminiscent of my mother,” Sherlock declares, but there’s a hint of insecurity after John’s question.

“Don’t get so worked up, love. Come lie down again, and I’ll tell you what I’ve noticed today,” John says fondly.

Sherlock seems quite satisfied when John’s finished telling him about his observations, if his hums and warm kisses are any indicators.

“Father’s always so quiet compared to Mummy, and he seems truly satisfied playing second violin, so to speak,” Sherlock muses.

John agrees and concludes that Sherlock’s parents remind him quite a lot of himself and Sherlock.

Read it on AO3

@totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @a-victorian-girl @phoenix27884 @safedistancefrombeingsmart @sabsi221b @gregorovitchworld @raina-at @helloliriels @peanitbear

#christmas ficlet prompts #sherlock fandom #sherlock #john watson #mr. holmes #mrs. holmes #johnlock #sherlock fanfic #bbc sherlock #ao3 fanfic #december moments #respite in december

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darksaiyangoku · 5 months

Text

RWBY Christmas Tales

A Feast for Kings

Yang: Jaune! Quick! I can't find my dress! *runs all over the house*

Jaune: Woah, woah there! *gently grabs Yang* What's going on?

Yang: I can't find my dress! I've been looking all day for it and it's gone missing! I even tore up our mattress to see if it was under there.

Jaune: You mean this dress? The one you're holding in your hand right now?

Yang: ...oh. *chuckles*

Jaune: Are you okay, babe?

Yang: Yeah... I guess I'm just a little bit nervous. Arthur's coming to dinner and I want everything to be perfect.

Jaune: *chuckles* You don't have to worry about that. He's seeing us, not the King of Vale. We're his friends. I'm sure he'll appreciate the dinner and the gift.

Yang: You think so?

Jaune: I do. Don't forget, I was his Master at one point. Still, we can't give him some basic Christmas dinner. We need to show him how we do it Arc-Long style.

Yang: *nods excitedly* That we do! Shall I bring the reinforcements?

Jaune: Make the call, soldier!

[20 minutes later]

Jaune: *opens the door*

Ruby/Oscar: *saluting* Ruby and Oscar reporting for duty, sir!

Jaune: At ease, soldiers! Now then, did you bring what I asked for.

Ruby: *shows bag* All here!

Yang: Alright everyone, battle stations! Each of us is gonna make a signature dish. Ruby what do you have?

Ruby: Garlic rolls, with my own butter, pigs in blankets, and a cranberry apple salad!

Yang: Nice one! Honey, what do you have.

Jaune: Our ever so awesome roasted duck, with a side of potatoes, parsnips and carrots.

Yang: And now for the best part, dessert! What have you got for us, Oscar?

Oscar: *smirks* Strawberry cheesecake!

Jaune: Excellent! *puts on apron* Ladies and gentleman, let's get cooking!

[2 hours later]

Jaune, Yang, Ruby and Oscar, now dressed up in their suits and dresses, prepared the table for the arrival of their guests. As soon as Ruby placed a poinsettia in the vase, the doorbell rang. Jaune opened it and found Arthur Pendragon standing alongside Robyn Hill and Mordred.

Jaune: Arthur, you made it!

Arthur: *chuckles* Good to see, Jaune. Merry Christmas. *hugs him*

Jaune: *hugs back* You too man! Merry Christmas!

Yang: It's great to see you again, Arthur.

Arthur: You too. Oh, me and Robyn have something for you.

Robyn; *hands Yang a present*

Yang: Aww, you shouldn't have. Thank you so much!

Mordred: Ruby, Oscar, I got something for you guys too. *hands them two long boxes*

Ruby: *jumps with excitement* Oh my god! I can't wait to see what it is!

Oscar: Now, now, Ruby. Wait until after dinner.

Ruby: But-

Yang: Come on, sis. Patience is a virtue.

Ruby: Hmph! *pouts*

Jaune: Now that you're here, let's get started on the appetisers.

Robyn: Oh don't go through so much trouble.

Jaune: Oh don't worry. Come on, everything's hot. We got a lovely apple and cranberry salad, pigs and blankets and- gah! What happened to the garlic rolls?

Ruby: What?!

Everyone rushed over to the table and saw that the garlic rolls had gone, including the plate.

Ruby: ...I worked so hard.

Oscar: There, there. *hugs Ruby* It'll be okay.

Jaune: How did they just vanish like that?

Yang: Guys, look! *points to an open window*

Mordred: Wait, was that open the whole time?

Arthur: Who'd be that crafty to steal garlic bread unseen?

[Outside]

Ren: *sneaks behind the tree*

Blake: Did you bring what I asked for?

Ren: *shows garlic rolls* It's all here.

Blake: *licks lips* Excellent.

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allyheart707 · 4 months

Note

Request 🤨?

Uh-

Draw my foodie oc, onion and salad? /nf

Ta-da! :DD

Also as a little bonus, here is a sketch that I started probably almost a month ago at this point- I was trying to draw Salad in the seaweed themed dress but I couldn't get it to look right:

Merry Christmas!! :D

#ally art #ally asks #requests! :D #ally doodles #rottmnt #foodie au #tmnt foodie au #onion the turtle #salad the turtle

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gatzilksis-2 · 4 months

Text

My Stepfather Joe: 2023 Christmas Special 3

Last Part Here

18+

December 23, Day

Joe came back with Mom, and we all ate together.

"Plans for today?" Joe asked over his empty plate.

I was still working on mine, and so was Mom. "The Christmas Village and then lights, right?"

"Sounds good to me," I said. "It's like a little mock town, right?"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool," said Mom. Joe got up with his dishes.

"They might think you're Santa," I joked.

Joe shot a short fart in my direction. "Ho ho ho, bitch!"

"Joe!" Mom yelled, while I laughed.

I finished and rinsed my dishes. "We're not going yet, are we?"

"After lunch." Joe burped as he refilled his plate.

We decided to watch another Christmas movie. Mom and I went in first, and Joe joined us after inhaling his second plate. He stood in the center of the room, two feet away from me, watching Mom scroll streaming apps. "How about It's A Wonderful Life?"

"Ew," said Mom.

"Boring," I agreed.

"You know, when an angel farts, it gets its wings," Joe quipped.

Mom rolled her eyes. "Will you sit down?"

Joe turned his head to her, meeting her eyes with a huge grin as he ripped a deep one.

Mom shook her head, giving up and choosing a movie at random, Home Alone. Joe finally sat down, unfortunately without farting again.

By the end of the movie, Joe had fallen asleep. His shorts were too big for him now, and they'd fallen to expose his full belly. It was slightly smaller than the huge, impressive thing I'd admired long ago, but it was still awesome.

Mom and I put on sitcom reruns and continued to catch up with each other. Joe slept for about half an hour. He woke slowly and sat up, pushing himself up with both hands. As soon as his ass left the couch, he was farting. FLRRP-flrrr-wrrrt!

"Ah, yeah!" Joe stretched in the center of the kitchen, his belly jiggling just like it used to. "Lunchtime! We got chicken salad, tuna salad, potato salad, and macaroni salad."

"A bunch of chickens and now a bunch of salads." I followed Joe into the kitchen, only to take in his trail of gas.

He got the containers of various salads from the fridge and set them all out with a loaf of bread and a stack of paper plates. Joe loaded up a plate and turned to wink at me. "You like all that stuff, right?"

"Yeah." I went ahead to get my food, and Mom joined me. We sat with Joe together, and I laughed at my plate. "At least there's no egg salad. Joe doesn't need that."

Mom and Joe laughed. I was surprised Joe didn't respond with some gross, awesome comment.

We finished the sandwiches with no farts. I went to shower as Mom did the same in their bathroom. I dressed and walked out to find Joe dressed in a gray sweater, sweatpants, and his trusty slippers. "Just waiting on your mom now."

I nodded and sat down beside him. I smiled at a fresh fart in the air. "How far is the Christmas Village?"

"With traffic? Half hour."

"Cool." I'd hoped for a longer ride, but I couldn't have everything.

Mom came out, and we walked outside and up the packed driveway. Joe had a big black truck now, for his business. He headed for it, but Mom pulled out her own keys. "No, honey. More room."

We got into her SUV instead. It felt weird to sit in the back seat; I hadn't in years.

Joe and Mom got in, Joe still insisting on driving. He hated being a car passenger. Joe set off down the winding road. I held on for dear life. "Jesus!"

"Ha!" Joe yelled. "I'm so used to it. Your mom takes it like a grandma."

Mom smacked his chest. Joe responded by lifting his ass and farting. BWART-fwrrrt! "I'm trying to drive! Jesus!"

"Can we stop yelling Jesus on Christmas, please!" Mom yelled.

Joe and I laughed as his fart took over the vehicle. It was the perfect sour, heavy, skunky scent only my stepfather's insides could make. Mom quietly cracked her window. Thankfully, it definitely didn't feel like winter outside.

Mom put her window up a little down the highway. Joe was grinning the whole time, and he glanced at me in the rearview mirror. "That was a blast from the past."

He farted against his seat. All three of us laughed, though Mom's window went down again. I had missed this. Adult life became so sad sometimes, it was good to be back in the exact place I'd been in my happiest memories.

Joe parked in a lot beside the Christmas Village. It looked exactly as it sounds, a bunch of small buildings designed to look like those infamous Christmas miniatures collected by grandparents everywhere.

I followed them to the gate, where elves took the tickets Joe had printed from their old desktop computer. We fell into the crowd moving in one direction, touring the Village. "It doesn't feel right, being so warm."

"You're telling me." Mom was already fanning herself.

Joe continued to walk ahead, while Mom kept wanting to go in everywhere. We got some caramel corn and watched some creepy animatronic carolers and families. Finally, we got to the line for Santa.

"You wanna go?" Joe asked me, a grown man.

"Wait, you're not Santa?" I joked.

Joe stepped in front of me and backed up, letting out a clear blast of a fart. Mom gasped as nearby people looked. She whispered, "Joe!"

"What, they never heard a fart before?" Joe laughed and lightly pushed my shoulder. "You deserved that."

"Whatever, Santa," I replied.

We came to realize there wasn't much to the Christmas Village, not when it was too warm for snow-related things. Mom wanted to complete the entire thing, so we did. As we walked out, Joe got ahead of me and farted step after step. I tried to count, but they stopped after a few more. I wasn't sure if Mom had even noticed, but I followed Joe with a sniff.

"Damn caramel corn. Makes me pop like popcorn." Joe chuckled at his own funny and unlocked the SUV. "Still got about an hour to dark. Wanna go ahead and eat?"

"We just did!" Mom got in the passenger side.

Joe and I got in together and shut our doors. I leaned between the seats. "Can I get coffee somewhere?"

"Ooh, I'll get a hot chocolate." Joe started the engine.

I wasn't sure what was coming, but the lights could be great. And then tomorrow, Christmas Eve, we would eat all that real good food, and Joe's farts would be at max power.

...

#farts #gatzilksis #eproctophilia #fart kink #eprocto #flatulence #fart fiction #fart stories #male fart fiction #male fart stories

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