#Cassie especially... her skin tone is right(?) when not under lighting- but her hair is still unforgivable What The Fuck Man
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How does this keep happening
#Chip Chatter#I wouldn't go and say these are “bad” models#but like- besides Gregory's which is just kinda awkward- they really don't reflect their designs in their 2d art#Cassie especially... her skin tone is right(?) when not under lighting- but her hair is still unforgivable What The Fuck Man#I added a question mark cause like- when you color pick her textures it's right#but something about her model just makes her skin look slightly lighter compared to her 2d art anyway#Steel Wool is good at making models in general- great even!! But they really need to improve on the their human modeling and keeping#the model designs consistent to their art
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Let it Snow - Chapter Six
Master Post // AO3
December 11th
15 Days until Christmas
She’s pretty, hell she’s more than pretty, she’s hot, and smart, and funny, and fucking perfect, with her kind eyes and easy personality. Her black skin glowing under the bar's warm lighting as her hair fell to her shoulders in tight curls and lips were spread out in a smile. She was fucking perfect, Dean had never been more certain about anything. He should’ve been planning their next date there and then, as she talked about her job as a reporter. He should’ve been planning this wedding, their future together, the house they’d move into, the names of their kids -a boy and a girl obviously- whether they’d get a cat or a dog. Yet he couldn't bring himself to. Every time he even considered a second date his thoughts were brought to someone else.
He already had all that, even if the cat was a little bitch. He didn’t need someone new, he needed Cas.
“What about yourself,” Cassie asked, taking a sip from her cider, “you’re a highschool teacher right?”
Dean nodded, looking back down to his own glass of water, the ice cubes that had filled now melted. “Unfortunately,” he joked.
“It can’t be that bad.”
“Yah, It’s actually pretty awesome. The kids are great, most of the other teachers are great,” Dean added. “The pays shit, but I pick up some hours at an auto shop to make up for it,” Cassie nodded along though didn’t reply, probably waiting for Dean to continue, to keep the conversation going the way she had when talking about her job.
He probably should say something else, though instead he picked up the last fry on his plate and shoved it into his mouth.
The whole date had been a mistake. One big fucking mistake filled with weak attempts at conversation and fake interest in what ever Cassie had to say as if Dean didn’t have a hundred more important things to think about.
Cassie tapped her nails against their table. “How’s Jack?” She finally asked.
“Kids good,” Dean replied, “he’s excited for Christmas.”
“That’s good.”
Dean nodded, pressing his lips together as he glanced across the bar they were sat in. It wasn’t too busy, with music playing above and the low chatter of people echoing against the wall, despite that things couldn’t have been quieter, the awkward silence between them thick.
He should say something. Anything. A compliment, an apology, a joke about the shitty music that played, cause it was shitty, really shitty. Yet nothing came, Dean’s mouth suddenly dry as he glanced to the table next to their own, where a couple was having a much better date than theirs.
Fuck emotionally healthy people that could handle relationships.
“Wanna get out of here?” Dean finally asked, looking back to Cassie, who somehow still had a smile across her face, as if Dean hadn’t spent their whole date being a douchebag.
She brought her glass back to her lips, swallowing whatever was left of the cider before nodding towards the exit. “Lead the way.”
After calling over the waitress over and paying for their food -fifty fucking dollars, how the hell was their food fifty fucking dollars?- they stepped back into the streets, the cold air biting at Dean’s face. Cassie offered a small smile as they began walking in the direction of the impala, something Dean didn’t return. How could he when they were walking so close, their shoulders almost brushing, fingers only inches away; it would take seconds for Dean to lace their hands together.
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and looked down, watching the thin layer of snow crunch under his boots. It was easier than looking at Cassie.
“Hey, “ Cassie began, causing Dean to glance up, meeting Cassie’s gaze for barely a second before he looked ahead. “Is everything alright?”
“Yah,” Dean replied, forcing an easy smile across his face, or at least what he hoped was an easy smile, though Cassie didn’t look convinced, “why wouldn’t I be, life’s awesome.”
She pressed her lips together and shrugged, “you just seem off.”
“Ya well, “ Dean kicked his foot at the snow, sending the small flakes flying forward. “Just stressed about work and shit, money's tight with the holidays.”
It wasn’t a complete lie, money was tight now without Cas there to help, especially with Christmas coming up, but it wasn’t the full truth either.
He couldn’t tell Cassie the full truth. That through the whole date he'd been thinking about his ex. About Cas’s smile, his eyes, the breathless noises he’d make when Dean kissed along his jaw. The way he tilted his head often in confusion, but occasionally when Jack did something cute or Dean made an especially bad joke in fondness. A small smile would spread across his face and his eyes would lighten up, his whole expression just warm. Or how tomorrow Cas would be on a probably much more successful date with the puppy killer Mike whatever the douchebag's last name was.
He couldn’t say any of that, it wasn’t fair to Cassie, and so, money.
Nobody wanted to talk about money issues.
Money would end the conversation and Dean could move on to something else, compliment the dress Cassie wore, ask her about her plans for the holidays, anything else.
Just change the conversation.
Change the conversation.
Change the conversation.
“And I think I’m in love with my ex,” Dean said before his mouth snapped shut and he stopped in place. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. So much for changing the conversation.
Cassie stared back, lips parted and eyes wide, as Dean swallowed, trying to breath through the ball forming in his throat. “Shit Cassie,” Dean finally choked out, “I didn't mean-“
“Oh,” She whispered.
“Son of a bitch,” Dean continued, “I’m sorry.”
“No- don’t, I should’ve seen it coming.” Cassie pressed her lips together as she ran a hand down her face, “no guy is that perfect. So what? I was some final attempt to move on?”
“Worse,” Dean mumbled.
Son of a bitch, he wanted to kill himself; step onto the street and let a car hit him, bleed out in a slow painful death like he deserved.
Cassie crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow “Worse? Like how worse.”
“Like he had a date, and I didn’t want to look like the loser who hadn’t moved on worse.”
“But you are the loser who hasn't moved on.”
“I think douchebags more suiting.” Dean replied, causing a smile to tug across Cassie’s lips.
He pressed his lips together, glancing down to his boots then back up. The streets were quiet, lit only by the few stores that were still open and the Christmas lights that had been hung by the city. Thankfully they themselves and a very confused looking old lady down the street -maybe Dean should go help her?- were the only ones in sight, letting their awful date be private.
Thank fucking hell.
“You’re talking about Jack’s other dad?” Cassie asked, and Dean looked back, holding her gaze before he gave a small nod. “I’m sorry.”
“I think that’s my line.”
Cassie tilted her head, the look in her eyes tugging at Dean’s heart. He hated that pitied look from other people, gentle and filled with concern, wanting to help, even they couldn’t. Dean had caused his problems, every single fucking problem he had was his own fault, he didn’t deserve the help, he didn’t deserve pity and like hell he deserved Cas.
If only he could keep his mouth shut for five fuckin’ minutes
“You can apologize later,” Cassie said. She took a step closer and Dean clenched his jaw, “how about we go back to mine for now?”
“Can I get you a beer?” Cassie offered as they stepped into her apartment. It was the first thing either of them had said since they’d gotten into the impala, the car ride filled with a mix of Led Zeppelin and AC/DC, not that Dean was complaining. He shook his head, and after Cassie offered a variety of other drinks that he'd politely declined, she left to get herself a beer, leaving Dean to take a seat on her couch.
The layout was the same as his own apartment, though Cassie’s was much warmer, covered in pictures and other decorations. Things that even after a year of living in his Dean hadn’t set up. He’d always blamed it on lack of time, weekdays were spent working and weekends were spent with Jack, but even when he did have the time, he could never bring himself to.
“How long were you two together?” Cassie asked as she walked back into the living and took a seat in the arm chair across from the couch.
“We don’t have to talk about this.”
“”No, I want to hear about the guy you were willing to use me for,” Dean cringed, despite Cassie's tone being more teasing than hurt. “I think I deserve that much.”
Dean sighed, “I don’t know how long we were together- a long ass time.”
“You don’t know how long?” Cassie said, “I think I know why he’s your ex.”
Dean ran a hand through his hair as if that would do anything to calm the sudden unease in his chest, an unease that always came when Cas was mentioned. “Tomorrow would’ve been eleven years and nine months,” Dean replied, mouth dry and hands clammy, even when he ran them along his jeans. “But it’s almost been a year since we split up.”
“It hurts- the first year, but it gets better.” Cassie looked down to her bottle, “I’d been dating this guy for six years, and I thought he was going to propose, but-“ Cassie inhaled and gave a small shrug, “instead he was cheating, it took months to get over him.”
‘That’s different’, Dean wanted to say, you didn’t hurt anyone, you didn’t cause the pain. You weren’t the problem.
“How’d you do it?” Dean asked instead.
“Ice cream, crying, more ice cream,” a smile tugged at Cassie’s lips. “I moved. I’d lived in the same town my whole life and I just needed something new.”
“Can’t exactly do that without leaving Jack behind.”
“Ice cream and crying it is.”
Dean smiled, “I think I’m goin’ to need a lot of ice cream.”
“He must’ve been some guy.”
“He is,” Dean replied, looking down to his lap. “He teaches English at the same high school as me, and fuck he’s smart, he could’ve been some university professor if he’d wanted.” Dean said. “but he liked us at the same school and he liked the students.”
He inhaled slowly and Cassie brought the bottle to her lips, taking a small sip. “He’s too nice for his own good, and cares about everything so fucking much, and he’s just-“ Dean hesitated, “he’s just good.”
A small smile tugged at Cassie’s lips, that sad expression once again resting across her face that had Dean looking away and instead to the Christmas decorations that filled her living room. A reindeer in the centre of the coffee table, a couple snowmen across the bookshelf, Christmas lights hanging from her windows,
“I’m worried about him,” Dean finally continued, staring at the small Christmas tree on the top of her bookshelf. It was barely a foot tall, with plastic pine needles that were a soft pink colour and a few silver balls hanging from it. “I know somethin’s wrong but I don't know how to ask, or if I’m even allowed to, you know?”
Or if Dean wanted to know, he had his guesses and fuck he hoped they were wrong.
“There’s no harm in asking,” Cassie offered, though Dean could hear the hesitation in his voice.
“We’ve only just started talking again,” Dean replied. The chance of ruining things was too high, which was selfish of Dean, wanting to hold onto whatever relationship they may have rather than make sure Cas was okay. But he’d always been the selfish one in their relationship. “I don’t want to lose him again.”
Cassie pressed her lips together. “you really love him,” she said and Dean could only nod. ‘Cause he wasn’t good with words, he could barely describe his feelings to himself, never mind someone else. All he knew was he loved Cas with every beat of his heart, with every breath he took, with everything he could offer and couldn’t.
He loved Cas the same way the earth orbited the sun, without question.
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Meddling
A few people requested a sequel to my story from the other day, “Matchmakers”.
***
So I narrowed it down and I think Cassie is our most likely candidate,” Nell explained, gesturing to the picture of a woman with black hair, brown eyes and light brown skin she’d pulled up on the big screen.
Over the past few weeks, the search for a date for Callen had continued. Ultimately, they’d decided that setting up an online profile for Callen would be a security risk. So despite Sam’s protests, Nell and Kensi had compiled a list of friends they thought were potential matches for Callen.
“She’s too short,” Sam said dismissively, leaning back in a desk chair. Nell turned around slowly, her eyes narrowed dangerously.
“Excuse me?” Eric, who’d been quietly working up to this point, stood and reached towards her, apparently thought better of it and sat back down again. But not before giving Sam a commiserating look.
Sam rolled his eyes as Nell continued to glare at him.
“I’m sure she’s wonderful, but I happen to know that Callen likes taller women.” Nell laughed sarcastically at this and took a step closer to Sam.
“That’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. Cassie is warm, and friendly, but not too friendly that she’d freak Callen out. She has a dry sense of humor that I’m sure Callen would appreciate it,” she listed off Cassie’s many qualifying attributes with the same intensity usually reserved for political debates.
“Nell, she’s shorter that you,” Sam pointed out.
“Your point being?”
“It’d be like going on a date with Hetty.”
“Who’s going on a date with Hetty?” Deeks asked, coming through the sliding doors along with Kensi.
“No one,” Sam answered with a tired sigh, rubbing at his forehead.
“Sam doesn’t think Nell’s friend is right for Callen,” Eric informed them, his expression a little too innocent.
“You mean Cassie?” Deeks asked, pointing to the screen. “I thought she was really sweet.”
“Yeah, she was hilarious and super smart, not to mention gorgeous,” Kensi chimed in.
“And apparently too short,” Nell added acerbically, which paired oddly with the tight smile she shot Sam’s way.
“Well, she is tiny, but I don’t Callen would mind if they hit it off,” Deeks said reasonably.
“Of everyone in this room, I think I know G’s preferences the best,” Sam said in a slightly superior tone.
“Secretly a CIA agent,” Kensi sang under her breath.
“Look, we’ve been working on this for three weeks and we’ve gotten nowhere,” Eric interrupted tossing earpiece onto his desk with an annoyed sigh. “If we’re going to do this, we have to choose someone, and Cassie seems as good as anyone.”
“G deserves better than just “anyone”, Sam replied, using actual air quotes. Deeks ruffled his hair, beginning to feel frustrated with the whole thing.
“Sam, at the rate we’re going, there’s not a woman out there that will live up to your expectations,” Deeks pointed out, but Sam shook his head again.
“I’m just looking out for my partner.”
“Well, I agree with Eric,” Kensi said, coming to stand beside Deeks. The sliding doors opened again and Callen walked in, looking mildly annoyed.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me we had a case?”
“We don’t,” Eric replied with another small sigh. He started to type again but then apparently decided it was pointless.
“Then who’s Cassie Martinez?” Callen asked, gesturing to the screen. Nell hastily took it down, but the damage was already done.
“She’s just a friend of mine,” she said airily.
“That still doesn’t explain why you had her on the big screen.” Glancing around at all of them suspiciously he added, “This is like the fifth time I’ve caught you guys doing something weird in the last couple weeks. At the risk of sounding paranoid, I’m starting to get a little worried.”
Callen looked around the room again and there was a long moment of silence.
“We’ve been talking about setting you up on a date,” Kensi said quickly, glancing at Sam with an unapologetic shrug. Callen laughed and glanced at Sam too, clearly waiting for the punchline. When Sam shifted uncomfortably, he turned back to Kensi.
“You’re joking, right?”
“Afraid not,” Deeks told him. Callen seemed to struggle to find what to say. He finally settled on,
“As much as I appreciate the gesture, I’m not really looking to date anyone right now.” Nell took a quick step forward and pulled the picture of Cassie back up.
“But if you were looking for someone, what do you think about her?” She asked, smilingly pleasantly at Sam who rolled his eyes. Callen didn’t seem to pick up on the tension.
“I’d need to know more about her-“
“Oh, do you want her number?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Callen answered quickly.
“Give it a rest, Nell,” Sam told her.
“Would your opinion be affected if you found out she was on the more petite side? Say four foot nine?” She continued, undaunted by Sam’s continued glares.
“No...but I’m still not looking to date anyone.”
“What about a stripper called Saphire Angel?” Deeks asked and Kensi smacked his arm.
“Again, I’ll pass.”
“G, at least consider it,” Sam said.
“No,” Callen said with an incredulous laugh. “I can’t believe you’re a part of this, especially after what happened last time you interfered in my love life.”
“It was one time. And it could have been worse.”
“How?” Deeks wondered which earned him an unamused look from Sam.
“Look, I don’t want to date this Cassie-no offense Nell-or Deeks’ stripper-“
“She’s not really my stripper,” Deeks pointed out hastily, giving Kensi a nervous glance as she rolled her eyes.
“Or any other women you might scrounge up,” Callen continued, ignoring Deeks.
“Scrounge?” Nell repeated.
“You know what, I think I’m going to the gym,” he decided abruptly. “Let me know if we get a case.”
“You can’t run from this, G,” Sam warned him.
“Yes I can,” Callen said grimly as he walked back out of the room.
“What about Ginger Storm?” Deeks called after him.
“Still not interested,” Callen called back right before the doors shut.
“Don’t worry, we’ll find someone for him,” Sam said with a slightly manic look in his eyes.
***
I may have given Nell a friend we haven’t heard of before...whoops. Also, I am 4’9 myself, so any references to being short, are not ill-intended.
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I Wasted You- Part 1
A/N: Ya’ll... I promise I am a Drake fan. I promise that hasn’t changed. No matter what this might look like. Anywho. Introducing Lady Cassandra Aberdeen and the mess that she found herself in. I had to create a new MC because I certainly couldn’t put Claire through this in any AU, and even Riley is too close to my heart to put through the wringer in this manner. So...sorry, Cass, you’ve been nominated. This entire storyline can be blamed completely on the song of the same name by Flora Cash (who have been utterly destroying me lately) This will be a two part “one shot” (because i cannot condense my wordiness. sorry, i tried.)
Pairings: Liam x MC (Cassie Aberdeen), Drake x MC (Cassie Aberdeen)
Warnings: ANGST, sexual abuse, and i def dropped at least one F bomb.
Word Count: 3,602
Tunes: I Wasted You, Flora Cash
Cassie couldn’t get into her hotel room quickly enough. Tears she was determined not to cry stung harshly in the corners of her eyes, biting painfully like the winter winds off the water, like the raw, harsh cold of December in New York- and it was May. She fumbled with the card key, cursing to herself as she took a shuddering breath, one hand running through her hair. The light blinked green and she heard the mechanical whir of the lock as it clicked open. Shaking, she pushed the door, entering the room and closed it behind her, sliding down it into a puddle on the cool tile. She let the tears spill freely, landing in splotches on the smoke colored gown that she couldn’t wait to donate to charity; the dress she broke Drake’s heart in, the dress her own heart turned to ice in, the dress she wore on the day she no longer knew herself...on the one day she always imagined would be one of the happiest of her life.
A low, keening sound came from the very back of her throat as she struggled to gasp for air between sobs. The tears were streaming down her face now, taking her mascara with them in rivulets down her cheeks which had flushed red. Her shoulders slumped dejectedly and her head rested back against the door, lolled slightly to one side. She had no energy to keep herself in an upright position, and soon found herself lying on the floor, the beaded fabric of her gown pooled around her, wrinkled and wet. She was thankful that Liam had gone back to his own room after kissing her goodnight, a bright smile in his warm eyes, excited electricity buzzing through him; thankful that he wouldn’t have to see her like this, destroyed for having destroyed his best friend.
How did this happen? How did I let this happen?
She’d asked herself those questions so often throughout the season that she’d lost count. She’d asked herself those questions so often throughout that very evening that she contemplated, several times, running through the city streets, heels in hand, and heading straight for her apartment, closing the door and pulling the bolts on it all. On Cordonia and Liam and Drake. On her feelings and regrets. On the expectations that the Beaumonts had hefted upon her. But she wasn’t kidding herself into thinking that a locked door could keep out the heartache, the utter devastation and the feelings of guilt for having caused it. It hadn’t worked here, in the hotel with the heavy, mechanically locked, thick, bullet proof door, so it surely wouldn’t work at home or anywhere else.
The tears had finally run out, but they hadn’t taken the pain or guilt with them, and she laid there, cheek against the soft plush carpet, until the sky outside her window changed colors. She watched the stars blink out and the neons turn off as the black night softened, early yellow light filling the cloudless sky as the sun rose on a new day. She wished she could rise as a new person; one that hadn’t ruined everything by falling for two men.
How did this happen?
She hadn’t meant for it to. She hadn’t felt anything at all for Drake when she decided to take Max up on his offer to join the Cordonian social season. She’d spent the night before deep in conversation with Liam, laughing and smiling and taking him to her secret spot. She’d felt an instant connection with him and knew right away that he was far more than his crown; that he saw her as far more than a waitress. She’d danced the night away with Liam at the Masquerade Ball, she’d had eyes only for him at the races, and they’d found time alone whenever possible, learning each other in ways that polite tea conversation couldn’t reveal. She was cautiously falling for the crown prince, and thrilled about it, because she could tell, despite the constant presence of ladies far better suited to be queen than she, that he was cautiously falling for her too. But then the court had gone to Lythikos, and her cautious plans had been haphazardly dashed when she followed Drake out into the snow.
How did I let this happen?
He’d treated her like a piece of furniture; like he could take her or leave her, like he expected her to be gone soon, so why bother to get to know her? And for the most part, aside from a slight pang of disappointment in his lack of interest in her- after all, she was likely Liam’s top choice and as such wanted his best friend to like her- she was fine with the distance that there was between them. What she wasn’t fine with, was allowing him to wander out into the frigid ice fields of Lythikos at night, alone, without a coat. She could live with him not wanting anything to do with her. She couldn’t live with him freezing to death because Olivia had been cruel.
She’d found him in a clearing, bare armed and shivering, though he’d never admit to how cold he was, gazing up at the sky full of stars. The look on his face had stopped her in her tracks; eyes shining with more emotion than she’d seen from him over the past few weeks, his mouth hanging slightly open as a heavy sigh slipped out, lines etched into his forehead. She watched the way his back and shoulders rose and fell as he took a few breaths, and as she did she felt his pain enter her chest. She had no idea what it was, only that she felt it, too, and suddenly she wasn’t okay with the distance between them. Suddenly she needed to close it, needed to be there for him. She’d stepped up beside him, boots crunching quietly in the crust of snow that permanently covered the ground, and wrapped her cold, raw, red fingers around his large rough hand. She gave a light squeeze and felt all of the tension in his body fade at that small gesture. When he’d turned his dark eyes from the sky to her face, she knew she was in trouble.
They’d walked back to the chateau with their hands still twined under the guise of safety, but Cassie could feel the danger of the situation- of being so close to him. By the time they reached the estate her hands were just as raw, but every inch of her was on fire and from the look of him, he felt the flames too. He’d bid her goodnight, and for the first time he’d called her by her name. “G’night, Cassie.” Two simple little words. But she heard so much more, felt that he had more that he wanted to say, and found herself wishing that he had said it all. “Goodnight, Drake, sweet dreams,” she’d said back. He’d blinked slowly, closing his eyes on the word “sweet”, and she got the feeling that she’d be running though his mind while he slept. She found herself wishing that if they both dreamt of each other, they could be together in their dreams. She found herself wondering what that meant- her dreams had been dominated by images of Liam- his hands caressing her skin, his lips moving against hers, the deep, rich tone of his voice, his dark eyes boring into her and melting her from the inside out. She tried to fall asleep that night thinking of the time she’d spent skating with Liam, thinking of his smile and the baritone of his laugh and the way they caused a flutter in her chest. She tried.
I should have stopped this. I shouldn’t have let him…
The King and Queen had started to notice that Liam was spending a disproportionate amount of time with “Lady” Cassandra Aberdeen- New York City waitress and heir to nothing, and insisted that he put his desires aside to spend time with the other ladies. Cassie understood, especially after Liam’s genuine apology, after the sincere way he’d looked into her eyes as he said “Believe me, Lady Cassie, yours is the only attention I crave.” He’d pulled her hand to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss to the top of her knuckles before flipping her hand palm side up to leave another kiss there. He’d bent her fingers over her palm, as if to keep the kiss from flying away, and those two tender, chaste expressions of affection had sent a rush through her body as though he’d fully ravished her. “I believe you, my Prince,” she’d responded, batting her lashes dreamily, a low, husky tone to her voice. She did believe him. She knew that if he could have it his way, he’d have chosen her and called off the remainder of the season, swept her into his arms and into their own happily ever after.
But Liam didn’t make the rules, and neither did Cassie. She understood, but she didn’t like the way it felt, seeing Liam with the other women, seeing him laying the same types of kisses on their hands. They’re not the same, she’d tell herself, look at his eyes, he doesn’t look at them like he looks at you. Seeing him dance with the other ladies, sweeping them across the floor. Look at his hands, how he’s barely holding them, not like he holds you, like he’s afraid to let you go. Seeing him laugh at things the other suitors said. The smile doesn’t reach his heart, you can tell, just look at him. Cassie had never been a jealous person, and she wasn’t about to start in on jealousy now. But no matter how much she tried to talk herself down, she felt that gnawing, uneasy feeling every time she had to watch him with Kiara or Penelope or Olivia or Madeline or even Hana. It was at Applewood Manor, at the apple festival, when Drake took notice that she wasn’t coping as well as she wanted everyone to believe.
“What’s the matter, Aberdeen, thought you of all people would be enjoying this,” he gestured vaguely around at the flags and booths, the clear blue sky and the festival goers milling about. He brought a glass of cider to his lips and took a swig, soft leather eyes narrowed at her over the rim of the glass. When Cassie looked up at him to answer, his demeanor changed, dropping the sarcasm and the teasing at the way the season was visibly wearing on her. He put his free hand on her back, between her shoulders, pressing lightly. “Hey, Aberdeen…you okay?” His eyebrows came together in concern, his lips in a tight line. Cassie shook her head and tried to tell him it was nothing, that she was enjoying herself, but she saw Drake follow her gaze to where Liam was strolling towards the orchard with Kiara. “Hey, how about we go get up to some trouble?” he tilted his head towards where Maxwell was readying to bob for apples, but Cassie wondered what other types of trouble he had in mind. She knew what kind of trouble she’d thought about getting into with Drake, despite how she’d tried not to. Given the option of watching Liam with the other suitors all day, or trying to forget feeling like she’d been forgotten, she’d gone with Drake. What a mistake.
It would have been enough, spending the day with him, listening to him tell her about his favorite parts of the festival. It would have been more than enough, seeing the way his eyes lit up when he smiled- a thing so rare she had begun to wonder if he knew how- or feeling his shoulder brush hers as they squeezed past a crowd of people gathered around to watch the crowning of the Apple Queen. It would have been enough to hear him say, “I’m glad you had a good time, Aberdeen,” when he walked her back to the estate as the sun sank and the sky turned purple. It all would all have been enough and too much at once. But two things happened that night to further compound the situation that she found herself in: Liam had to rush into emergency trade meetings that lasted from the end of the festival, well into the evening, meaning that she had spent absolutely no time with him at all. She knew that that’s how it would be when they were married, when she was Queen- knew that their schedules and duties would conflict and sometimes keep them apart. She wasn’t naïve, she didn’t think they’d be able to just ride off into the sunset and spend every waking moment in one another’s arms. But the simple fact that once the season was through they’d at least be allowed to spend what time they did have free together. They’d at least be allowed to hold hands without raising any red flags, to share a kiss without causing a scandal. It wasn’t even the waiting for the engagement and the marriage; it was wanting to be with him, and him wanting to be with her, but not being allowed to. It was being alone while he was with all of them. But she wasn’t alone. Not really.
I shouldn’t have let him…
The second event that had changed everything would continue to stick with her for the rest of her life; one that would cause her skin to crawl, one that would make her check the locks on every door, one that would make her look behind the curtains and under the bed and in the closet before getting undressed for years to come. Tariq. In her room. Advancing on her nearly naked form with lust in his eyes and a Cheshire cat grin on his half drunken face. She’d tried to tell him to leave, she’d tried to cover up and push him away, but it was as though she were speaking another language, as though he couldn’t hear her…as though he could hear her but didn’t care. As he wrapped his arms around her, the fabric of his suit jacket scratching at her bare back uncomfortably, he closed his eyes and leaned it to kiss her. Heart pounding in her throat and limbs shaking, she knew she had to scream before his lips covered hers, silencing her cries. She took as big a breath as she could and let out a blood curdling sound just as Tariq’s wet lips crashed to hers. She felt violently ill as he smothered her, crushing her to his body despite how she struggled to push herself away from him. He was stronger than he looked, especially fueled by lust and cider, and Cassie was 120 lbs. soaking wet and never the strongest to begin with. Seconds ticked by as his hands roved her body, gripping, grasping, fingerprints digging into her soft flesh, and she felt tears slipping past her eyelids, she felt her cries die on her tongue as it tried to evade his. She sobbed against his mouth as her mind raced fearfully with what would happen next.
And then the door flew open, the frame cracked with the force, and Drake was there in two strides. One hand clasped around Tariq’s shoulder, pulling him off of Cassie, the other hand balled into a fist and drawn back before it came down like a hammer on Tariq’s face. Cassie stumbled free and clutched the bedpost, wide eyed and breathless as she watched Tariq tackle Drake to the ground, getting a few punches of his own in before Drake delivered the final blow that brought the drunken letch to his senses. He looked from Drake’s enraged expression, his eyes nearly black, his top lip curled, to Cassie, fearfully cowering away from him. Shaking his head, he fled the room, mumbling to himself about the American sending him mixed signals, mumbling about how this wasn’t his fault. As soon as he was gone, Drake was by her side, hands held tentatively up in front of him, the anger in his eyes changing immediately to hurt at the way she looked. “Cass…” he croaked, “Cass, are you…” he shook his head, closed his eyes and let out a breath. “Did he hurt you?”
He looked like he was in pain and not just from the fight. He looked like he was having trouble breathing, and not just from the bruised ribs. She couldn’t answer, not with words. Instead, she flung her small body at him, curling around him and holding tight, as though he could keep her from disintegrating after what just happened. He winced, and she couldn’t tell if it was from his injuries or from her body wrapped around his, from the close proximity that they both knew was better to avoid. After a few beats she felt his arms come around her, felt his whispered words against her hair. “It’s okay, Aberdeen, I got you…I got you…” She cried into his shirt until she felt her breath even out and her heartbeat slow.
She’d asked him to stay for a while. She’d insisted that he let her take care of him, ice his wounds and clean the cut under his eye. It seemed innocent enough; Liam’s best friend coming to her aid in his absence, protecting her, comforting her. It seemed only natural that she’d want to make sure he wasn’t hurt, that she’d want to repay him with kindness. But they both knew that’s not all that was happening, and neither could walk away. Neither wanted to.
I shouldn’t have let him stay…
He’d been the one to break the silence, after she’d done what she could for him. “I should go, Aberdeen…you should…” he swallowed and looked away. “You should call Liam. Tell him what happened…I’m sure he’d want to know that you’re safe…” Cassie couldn’t help the way she felt: that if Liam was concerned about her safety, he wouldn’t have left her on her own all day, wouldn’t have left her to Drake. She immediately cringed at those thoughts, knowing full and well that Liam was in love with her, and that he was sure to be devastated, sure to be wracked with misplaced guilt once he heard what had happened. Reluctantly she nodded, agreeing with him.
“Okay,” she said softly. He nodded, finishing with the buttons of his shirt and turning towards the door. “Drake!” she called out, not quite sure why. He stopped and pivoted slowly back toward her, his coffee colored eyes burdened with how desperately he wanted to stay, to hold her through the night- he had his own feelings about the way Liam hadn’t spent any time with Cassie all day, felt like his friend was wasting his time with Cassie. He knew it was duty. Protocol. What was expected of him. But he also knew that if he were in Liam’s shoes he wouldn’t give a flying fuck about any of that. “Thank you…” she managed, though her words were barely audible.
“Aberdeen…” he sighed. “I’d never let anything happen to you… not if I could help it…I…I couldn’t live with myself if I knew you were hurt.” He paused, a pained expression crossing his face as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Even if you’re with Liam…I…I…” he sighed again, dropping his shoulders. “I know you’re with Liam. I know that.” His breathing quickened and her eyes flicked to the way his chest was heaving. “But I care about you too, Cassie. More than I should.” He crossed the room in nothing flat and slid his hand behind her neck, looking deep into her eyes, searching them.
She felt the dam break as she showed him what he was looking for. Without hesitation, and before she could stop herself, she closed her eyes and closed the distance. Her soft lips met his, moving together as a wave crested and crashed throughout her body. By the way Drake was responding, fingers curling around her neck, breath hitching, body following his hips as he matched himself up with her, she could tell that he was riding the wave, too. When they finally broke apart he rested his face against hers, eyelids closed tightly. “Aberdeen…” he breathed her name and as he did she saw flashes of what could have been throughout the season had they not both tried to ignore one another. Twirling across the floor at the masquerade ball. Smiling in the sunshine at the races. Skin sliding against skin as they learned each other’s bodies, confessions and secrets as they learned each other’s souls. Suddenly she was full of regret, of longing, of the feeling of wasted time. Before she could arrange her thoughts into anything coherent, she felt him slip away, heard the door open and shut before she opened her eyes, and he was gone.
How did I let this happen?
Five minutes later, Liam was in her room, apologizing, soothing, kissing, cradling. Drake had called him and told him what happened with Tariq, told him that Cassie needed him. “Cassie,” Liam’s voice held so much pain, so much hurt at what she’d just been through. “Cassie, I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here…so sorry, my love…” she felt his tears against her cheek, his exhales against her neck as he rocked her and she held tightly to him, thinking about how sorry she was, too.
I shouldn’t have let this happen…
tagging: @ooo-barff-ooo @sleepwalkingelite @zaffrenotes @brightpinkpeppercorn @jovialyouthmusic @mind-reader1 @endlessly-searching-for-you @notoriouscs @endlesstaylormckenzie @agent-bossypants @andy-loves-corgis @drakewalkerrosenberg @akrenich @nekkidmolerat @indiacater @thequeenofcronuts @the-everlasting-dream @the-whiskeywife @roonarific @stopforamoment @mkatschoicesblog @mfackenthal @drakewalkerisreal @drakesensworld @gibbles82 @gardeningourmet @iplaydrake @rainbowsinthestorm @carabeth @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria
#trr#the royal romance#liam x mc#liam x cassie#drake x mc#drake x cassie#cassie aberdeen#cassandra aberdeen#drake walker#liam rys#choices fanfiction#trr fanfiction#trr love triangle#i promise i still love drake#forever and always#blame the song#i keep that excuse in my back pocket#i wasted you#flora cash
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The Sorceress and the Sergeant: Reconnaissance
So.
I was ‘persuaded’ into writing a sequel to the AU of my fanfiction.
Yes I’m mad at myself, at the person who gave me an idea, and mostly at myself for actually going through with this terrible trashy romance.
Eat your hearts out, shippers.
Marjory shifted in her seat, fiddling with a bit of her sweater as her eyes darted around the familiar room. The early evening sun leaked in between wooden blinds, casting strange patterns of light and dark onto the office walls and desk. A light breeze with no origin flitted around the room, dancing between the almost comical amount of houseplants and paintings that were just a little too strange to have been made by mortal hands. Clicking keyboard strokes mixed with the low ticking of the wall clock, stretching seconds into hours.
“Well, it seems your last assignment went well, Miss Teller,” the woman said, finally breaking the silence. She pushed a classy pair of spectacles up over her nose, deeply tanned skin complimenting piercing golden eyes. “A little messier than I think anyone expected, but that’s to be expected with acid spitters.”
“Thank you, Miss Northwest,” Marjory said with a quick nod.
The woman clicked her tongue and shook her finger. “It’s either Patricia or Miss Vixen, nothing more and nothing less, dearie,” she replied with a light smirk crossing her face.
“Right, sorry Miss Vixen,” Marjory said, glancing off to the side. Despite almost a year of working with her ‘case manager’, Marjory still had no firm idea of who or what Patricia Northwest actually was. Her best guess was either an old trickster deity or a nature spirit from when the world was younger, but she had a feeling she would never fully get this strange creature’s story.
“Ah, much better.” With a painstaking slowness, Patricia began re-arranging some of her desk knick knacks, eyes flickering between various baubles. With one hand, she nonchalantly pushed some of her orange hair behind an ear. “Now, Miss Teller, seeing that I am your case manager, I want you to be honest with me,” she began, taking her hands away from her keyboard and placing them under her chin. “I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors floating around the office. You know, the ones of you and Ollie being perhaps more than just each other’s Sorceress and Sergeant.”
A shiver ran down Marjory’s back as the memories of the past week or so came flooding to the forefront of her memory, tending to her injured partner and the passionate night that had followed. In that moment, neither of them had truly thought about how their dynamic would change or the workplace consequences. Turns out a large menagerie of supernatural creatures were especially good at picking up on new relationships. With a sigh, she slowly nodded her head. “I...yes, I have.”
Patricia tilted her head to the side ever so slightly. “Are they true?”
Palms nearly dripping with sweat, Marjory could feel her shoulders slump in defeat. Her heart was up in her throat, pounding almost loud enough to drown out her thoughts. Almost. “...they are. We’re now…I mean, I guess you can say that we’re dating. I’m not sure what you call a relationship between a human and a supernatural creature.”
A playful smile crossed the woman’s lips. “Ah, so I was right. You did manage to snag our little angel,” she said with an almost pleased tone to her voice. “I didn’t think anyone would ever get through to him. I’m impressed, Marjory.”
Her head snapped up. “You’re…not mad?”
“Why would I be? I’ve been trying to get that ‘all work and no play’ boy someone nice for centuries, not to mention I saw this coming from the moment I met you.” Patricia paused for a second, reaching into her desk and pulling out a small manila folder. “You’ll be good for him. And as long as the two of you can still work on missions together, I don’t see why you two can’t get up to no good in private.”
Marjory could feel her cheeks flushing as red as her hair.
A snicker danced from Patricia’s mouth, showing a row of slightly pointed teeth. “You’re so easy to mess with, dearie,” she said, sliding the folder over the desk. “You really should work on that.”
“Easy for you to say. As far as I know, you don’t actually feel embarrassment,” Marjory mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing to the folder. “What’s this?”
Patricia one again adjusted her glasses, leaning back in her chair “Given this development in your relationship status, I think this next assignment will do just nicely for the two of you.”
Still red as a beet, Marjory snatched it up and glanced over the contents. She read it over once, twice, feeling her already flushed face growing more heated with every line. Slamming down the paper onto the desk, she stood up with as much dignity and height as she could muster.
Given that she was maybe five foot on a good day, that wasn’t a lot.
“You want us to do what?”
Patricia simply smiled wider, her eyes narrowing until she held the smug confidence only a fox could muster up.
“We have some nice ensembles in cloakroom three if you need something a bit more refined,” she said without breaking eye contact or her smirk. “Now, you had best get going, dearie. Your reservation is at eight.”
“Hold still, your hair’s a mess,” Marjory said, delicately running her fingers through strands of Ollie’s raven black hair and untangling knots.
“I still do not see the point in all of this,” he replied, tugging at the tie around his neck. He had forgone his normal casual clothing for a blue button up, gray vest, and slacks, though not without a significant amount of confusion and protest. “There have to be better ways of conducting surveillance than wearing clothing this impractical.”
Marjory huffed, smoothing her black cocktail dress free of any wrinkles. “There probably are, but Patricia insisted we scout out the restaurant in the least conspicuous way possible,” she explained, checking her clutch one last time. “Apparently, there’s been some dimensional warping in The Silver Spoon and management has closed off entry to everyone except paying patrons. Which means we’re going to dinner as a couple if we want to get in at all.”
Ollie just shook his head, eyes darting between the restaurant outside the car and Marjory while gears turned in his head. “She set us up on an evening outing, didn’t she?”
She heaved a long sigh. “It’s called a date, and yes she did.”
“I will never understand that woman.”
“You and me both,” Marjory said, pulling a light shawl over her shoulders and grabbing the car door. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”
With lightning fast reflexes, Ollie wrapped an arm over her shoulder and pulled her ever so closer. A slight fire danced in his ice blue eyes. “One moment first.” Ever so delicately, he pulled her face closer to his, lips meeting in the dark. Marjory melted into the kiss, closing her eyes and feeling his fingers brushing her cheek and hand gripping her shoulder tight. It was drawn out, long and loving, neither wanting to be the first to break away.
His breath was hot on her ear, barely louder than a whisper. “You look so beautiful tonight.”
Hers was hardly louder. “You look so handsome.”
In the end, the clock won out, the alarm on Marjory’s phone jolting the two of them back to reality. She gave a wistful smile and carefully pulled away from the embrace, popping open the car door and stepping out into the chilly autumn air. A second later, her guardian ‘angel’ was at her side, one hand holding hers as they made their way down the sidewalk and to the restaurant.
She vaguely paid attention to the hostess asking for their reservation, answering the woman’s questions with stock answers as her eyes and ears scanned the room. It was dim, the room bathed in orange mood lighting. Good for both a romantic aura and keeping any visual warping hard to sense. The main hall was extravagant, walls lined with abstract paintings and a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Tables were set with crisp white tablecloths, arrangements of freshly cut flowers, and flickering tea lights.
Their waiter lead them to a table in the back corner, a small booth where they could sit side by side. Marjory slid into her seat and picked up her menu, quickly scanning over the options for anything that sounded appetizing. Not long after, she felt an arm slip around her waist and pull her closer. Her face flushed ever so slightly.
“I’m not sure if you’re supposed to do that in public,” she whispered, shifting the menu so that both of them could read.
“With this place as dark as it is, I doubt anyone could see us anyways,” Ollie replied with an equally low tone. He leaned back into the cushioned booth and closed his eyes. Tapping his fingers, a nearly invisible pulse of silver energy shot from his fingertips and spread out across the restaurant floor. A slight frown crossed his face and he sat back up. “Nothing of note just yet.”
“We just got here, give it a little time.” Flipping the menu to the next page, she furrowed her brow and glanced up to Ollie. “Do you actually need to eat?”
He tilted his head to the side, seemingly trying to find the right words. “To my understanding, no. That being said, I find it enjoyable from time to time, not to mention it would be odd if you ordered something and I did not.”
“That’s very true,” Marjory said with a nod, pausing her uninterested browsing on a selection of entrees. “What do you want?”
Leaning in a touch closer, his eyes scanned the small list of dinner specials. “I do remember enjoying steak the last time I had it,” he mused, laying a finger next to the small description and reading it over. His eyebrows furrowed. “...what is cassis?”
“That’s french for blackcurrant. It’s a type of berry used in sauces and jams.”
He blinked a couple of times, glanced to her with visible confusion written in his eyes. “It is a fruity sauce…on meat.”
“Yup.”
“...why?”
Marjory shrugged, leaning her head against his arm. “Because different flavor combinations can pair together surprisingly well, like sweet and savory,” she explained, picking up her glass and taking a sip of water. “It brings out different tastes in both.”
“If you insist,” he replied, not sounding wholly convinced. “What are you getting?”
“Duck a l'orange,” she said, pointing to the entry under ‘poultry’. “It’s duck in orange sauce. I had it at this restaurant my grandma took me to when I was little. From what I remember, it was very good.”
Another blink. “Somehow, I think I am more confused about human cuisine than before we came here.”
The waiter returned a few minutes later, taking each of their orders and leaving behind a small bowl of bread and a plate of butter. Marjory took a roll and absentmindedly began tearing it into bite sized bits. After a minute of watching her movements and committing them to memory, Ollie did the same with his own piece of bread. The two of them sat in a comfortable silence, the constant clatter of dishes and low voices serving as a low din to focus on for the time being.
Ollie’s eyes began glancing between the other tables, the gears once again turning in his head as watched the various groups interacted. “Are we supposed to be sharing in conversation constantly?” he asked, slightly nodding his heads to the other groups.
Swallowing the last of her roll, Marjory took a long drink of water while she turned the idea in her head. “Usually during dates, people make small talk, talk about their day or their life, mutual interests, sometimes the sports or weather. Silence is usually considered rude.”
“That seems rather arbitrary and fairly uninteresting,” he said with a slight frown. “And silence is often better than a space filler.”
“You know, you aren’t wrong,” Marjory said with a slight giggle. “Then again, that mostly happens on first dates when you don’t know a person well.
Ollie smirked a little mischievously, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “Whereas I happen to know you very well at this point, Sorceress.”
Thankfully, the dim lighting hid her flushing face.
Their entrees came not long after, both arranged with artistically placed vegetables and potatoes on colorful platters. Marjory hungrilly dug into her dinner, letting the mixture of roasted duck and tangy orange sauce in between bites of grilled asparagus roll over her tongue and down her throat. Glancing up at her…boyfriend? Significant other? In her opinion, guardian angel still worked best. Glancing up at her guardian angel, she watched his face contort in various expressions of bewilderment. “What do you think?”
Ollie glanced down at her, picked up a small piece of his dinner with his fork, and brought it up to her mouth. “I think it would be best if you tried some yourself. I’m not sure if I have the proper words,” he said with equal parts sincerity and teasing jab.
Rolling her eyes, she bit down and let the flavors roll around her mouth for a little bit. She swallowed and gave it a moment or two of thought. “Sweet, savory, very rich, a bit fruity.”
All that was on his face was a half smirk.
She didn’t need to see her face to feel the heat on her cheeks.
Muttering a curse or two under her breath, she took a bit of her duck in order to return the favor. Before she could offer it to Ollie, however, he suddenly sat up straight as a board. His eyes were narrowed, scanning the darkened room with the eyes of someone who doesn’t need light to be able to clearly see the world. Glancing around the room, her own mortal vision was enough to see the slight warbling of reality on the other side of the hall.
She shot him a quick glance which was shortly returned by one of his own. They both gave a slight nod. There was the confirmation that they needed.
“That is one of the strongest dimensional warpings I have seen in a long time,” he mused, leaning over the table and propping his chin on his hand. “We should take care of this sooner rather than later.”
Marjory nodded her head, glancing around at the other patrons of the restaurant. “Definitely, but let’s wait for the place to clear out a little more before we do that. We don’t need witnesses.”
“How do you suggest we wait it out?” Ollie asked, leaning back into the booth.
Glancing at the food on the table, Marjory cracked a small smile. “Take our time with dinner and order dessert?”
A small smile twinged at the corners of his mouth. He pulled her closer, once again brushing the top of her head with a light kiss, the two of them sitting in the relative darkness together. “That does sound…rather nice, actually.”
“Certainly more fun than our last adventure,” she said with a slight giggle.
“It is less dangerous so far, yes” he replied, turning her face to meet his. “But more fun? That is…a bit more subjective.”
This time, it was her turn to initiate the kiss, craning her neck up so that her lips met his. The surprise momentarily filled his eyes, then he sank into the kiss all the same, holding her tight against him. Not wanting to make too much of a scene in public, she broke the kiss a bit earlier than she would have liked. She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.
Work could wait just a little bit longer.
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Fast Cars and Freedom
3/? Rock You Like A Hurricane
Words: 6,166
Rating: T+
Masterlist:
Ari rolled over with a quiet groan, the pounding on her head overpowering any other sound she might have heard. She clamped her eyes shut and put a hand over the closed lids, another groan escaping her lips. She frowned when she felt a bit of resistance on her arm. Slowly, she moved her hand from her face, squinting in the light that assaulted her senses.
"Hey there, metal head."
She turned her head slightly, narrowing her eyes as she tried to identify the voice that came from across the room. "Jon?" she asked softly.
She heard a quiet rustling and then felt a pressure on the bed beside her.
"Yeah, it's me."
She tried to push herself up into a sitting position, wincing at the pain in her head as she ran her hand through her bright red hair. "What happened?" She looked around, trying to figure out where she was. "Where am I?"
Jonathan sighed as he leaned his weight on the bed beside her. "You were in an accident last night."
She frowned before the memories came flooding back. She gasped and practically lunged forward, her hands clamping down on his arms like a vice.
"Woah, Ari, calm down, it's okay!"
She shook her head, her eyes wide. "No, you don't understand." she said. Jonathan knew that look. He had seen it too many times before. He saw that look every day on his brother's face. He knew Ari wore it when she was having flashbacks. But he had never seen it that bad, or that prominent. "Where's Will?"
Jonathan frowned at her. "He's okay. He's with mom and Bob."
He winced when he felt her nails dig into his skin. "It's happening..." she said quietly, the haunted look in her eyes making him even more concerned.
"What's happening?"
Ari made a move to swing her legs over the edge of the bed, cursing under her breath when she realized she was connected to both an IV and a heart monitor, which at the moment, was going off like crazy. "The Upside Down." she tried to explain. Confusion flickered across her face before she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting off the headache that was threatening to drag her back to the inky darkness that shrouded her mind.
Jonathan obviously wasn't understanding what she tried to say.
She growled in frustration when she opened her eyes to see several nurses rushing in, concerned at the rapid pulse she had. She sighed and leaned back, letting Jonathan go as the nurses took her vital and asked her a few questions. When they were finally gone, she took a deep breath and turned back to her concerned best friend.
"The Upside Down. Things..." She shook her head, "Things are getting worse. I'm seeing things. And...I think Will is too. Look at his drawings when you get home."
Jonathan frowned. "What do you mean you're seeing things? Like, hallucinations?"
Ari shook her head again. "No. Like...flashbacks...but now. I know that makes about zero sense, but that's the only way I know how to describe it. The sky was red, I think there was a storm. I saw this giant monster. It was looking for something...or someone. Will was yelling for me. I could hear him, but I couldn't see him." Tears were filling her eyes as he sat down again and pulled her into a hug. Ari and Will had a connection to the Upside Down that none of them understood, Not even the doctors.
"I think we need to see Owens."
She opened her mouth to reply when her parents walked hurriedly into the room. She quickly composed herself, pulling away from Jonathan to smile up at them. "Hey." she said.
Her mother, Cassie, smiled widely and moved to hug her. "We were so worried about you."
Eric, her father, nodded his assent. "Hopper showed up at our door last night. He said you were in an accident."
Ari frowned, trying to remember. "There was an animal...a dog, I think, that ran in front of me on my way home."
Cassie shook her head, smoothing her daughter's hair down. "What were you even doing out that late sweetheart?"
"Steve called me. He was pretty wasted from a party and needed me to take him home."
Eric sighed, putting his hand on Ari's shoulder and leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'm just glad you're okay."
She frowned. "How did I even get here?"
Cassie and Eric flashed a glance to Jonathan, who just shrugged. "All they would tell me was a guy in a blue muscle car dropped you off and then sped out so fast he left skid marks."
Her eyebrows furrowed and a frown creased her features.
Billy?
She didn't have time to dwell on it though. "I'm okay..." she said, sitting up again. She knew one thing, she wasn't spending a moment longer in the hospital that was necessary. She hated doctors. But, Jonathan was right. She needed to go see Owens. That was first thing on her list tomorrow. She didn't care about school. That was the last thing on her mind. She needed to get this Upside Down thing sorted out first.
Ari had no intention of ever letting Will go through that again. And if what they were both seeing was real, crap was about to hit the fan.
Her father shook her head. "You were just in an accident, Ari. I want you to stay here overnight."
She frowned at him. "Dad, come on. I feel fine."
Cassie gave her a look. "Your father is right, sweetheart."
Ari shook her head. "I can't stay here..." She turned a pleading look on Jonathan, who looked at her helplessly. He knew he didn't have a dog in that fight, and he wasn't about to get in the middle of it. Seeing that she was going to get no support from him, she turned to Eric. "Dad, you know how I feel about hospitals."
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked at his wife, who looked just as conflicted as he felt. They knew how their daughter felt about doctors, especially after what she had been through. She didn't trust them, and they didn't blame her. But they also wanted to make sure she was okay.
Ari gave them both a pleading look. "Please? We'll talk to the doctor. If he thinks I'm okay, will you let me go home?"
Finally, they agreed.
"Speak of the devil, and he shall appear." Jonathan said with a laugh. The doctor knocked on the doorframe with a smile before stepping inside.
"Hey, Ari. How are you feeling?"
She pursed her lips. "Honestly? Like I flipped my motorcycle. But, nothing is broken and I just have a couple bruises. So I don't feel too bad."
He chuckled at her response. "Well, that's true." He picked up a clipboard that had all her information on it, reading it over. "Nothing was broken, but you took a pretty good hit to your head. Do you have any nausea?"
Ari shook her head. The motion made her vision a little blurry, but she figured that was normal.
"Good. You do have a slight concussion, but it's nothing serious. You don't have to worry unless you start throwing up or can't see." He flipped through a couple pages. "Just a few superficial scrapes and bruises, nothing too damaging."
She raised an eyebrow. "Does that mean I can go home?"
He chuckled. "Yes. But, I want you to keep an eye on that head. If you start getting overly dizzy, feel sick at your stomach, or anything like that, I want you to come back in and see me."
Ari had finally managed (with the doctor's help of course) to persuade her parents into taking her home. They were reluctant to let her go to school the next morning but she finnagled her way out of the house. Jonathan was kind enough to pick up her bike from where he figured it was, with help from her father. It was a little banged up and she had to admit that she was a little more than pissed about the scrapes and dents in her newly restored Harley, but she also knew that she was more than capable of fixing it again. It was just more work than she wanted to go through.
She had to use her spare helmet, a red one with black racing stripes, to go to school. She wasn't as fond of that one as she was her black one because it fit a little too loosely on her head. But, she knew her parents would have an absolute fit with her if she didn’t wear something protective. She smiled at the thought as she eased her bike into the school parking lot, her eyes scanning the area. It looked like a normal school day. People were lagging as much as usual, if not a little more. And Ari couldn't blame them. She wasn't much of an academic person, getting good enough grades to slide through, but not enough to land any special scholarships or have the counselors riding her about picking a college to attend. If anything, school was one of the few things she could use to keep herself focused on the real world. And she needed that now more than ever.
Ari narrowed her eyes as she pulled towards her favored parking space. The familiar baby blue Camaro was parked there, basking in the sunlight that streamed through the branches of the trees. Annoyed, she revved the engine before dutifully pulling in beside the muscle car. Several people who were sitting on the nearby picnic table stopped their conversation to stare curiously as she swung her leg over the body of the bike, taking her helmet off as she did. Her shoulder length fiery locks cascaded out and she looked around, catching more than one stare. She rolled her eyes before taking the keys from the ignition and tucking them into one of the pockets of her black backpack. Her jeans were form fitting but not tight enough to restrict her movements as she walked towards the school's entrance, her hips carrying a natural sway with her steps. She ran one hand through her hair while the other adjusted the leather jacket that she wore.
She almost paused mid stride when she heard a wolf whistle coming from behind her. But when she heard his voice, she did stop.
"D***, Rusty. I could watch you walk away all day."
His gravelly tone was sure to send most women swooning but it only served to make her clench her teeth. She could hear him blow out a puff of smoke from the cigarette that was stuck between his lips, his nimble fingers taking the nicotine stick sway from his mouth so he could talk. She only paused for a second before resuming her pace, spitefully adding a bit of extra sway to her hips. She had planned on finding him later and saying thank you, but of he was going to be a jerk about it, then screw him.
The sound of his quiet chuckle filled her ears as she walked away, not even turning to face him.
She found Steve waiting for her nervously beside her locker, his thumb nail being torn to pieces nervously between his teeth. He leaned against the wall of lockers, his stance relaxed, but his eyes telling her a different story. She frowned as she approached him.
"Steve?"
Her voice seemed to holy him out of his thoughts and he jumped before sighing and running a hand through his hair. "Sorry." he muttered.
She frowned. "For what?"
He didn't answer, instead pulled her into a hug. Surprised, She didn't respond at first, she just awkwardly stood there before letting her arms snake around his back. He sighed as he buried his face in her shoulder and she frowned. Steve wasn't an overly affectionate person, at least with her, and his behavior was beginning to concern her. "Steve?" she tried again.
He sighed and pushed her back, his fingers almost dogging into her shoulders. "I'm sorry I put you through that crap last night, Ari."
She shook her head. "Don't be. I get it. You're a normal, average, male human being, and these things happen." she said with a smile.
He snorted at her. "Average? I think not."
She rolled her eyes. "Fine, below average. Happy?"
He gaped at her before shaking his head. "Whatever, that's not the point. The point is, I shouldn't have been that stupid. I got wasted because of some stupid thing Nancy said while she was drunk. I made you drive me home in the middle of the night, and then You have an accident on your way home."
She pursed her lips. "Obviously, you're still upset about what Nancy said. Otherwise you would be following her around like a lost puppy."
Steve sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. "That's not the point, Ari."
She rolled her eyes again. "Then what is the point, Steve?"
"That you got hurt trying to help me!" he snapped. "It's my fault, Ari."
She arched an eyebrow. "I don't think you're the one that's showing me visions of the Upside Down, Steve. If you are, then we really need to have a talk."
He frowned. "What?"
She just shrugged him off before grabbing the books she needed from her locker. "That's why I crashed. Not because an animal ran in front of me. Because I saw the Upside Down."
He blinked at her, not fully understanding. "Has this happened before?"
"Flashbacks? Oh yeah. More than I would like them to. But this wasn't a flashback."
His frown deepened. "Ari-"
"I'm not the only one. Will saw it too."
He practically threw his hands up in the air. "Why didn't you say anything?!"
She slammed her locker door shut, with more force than she knew was necessary. The loud noise stopped a few nearby conversations and made several look at her with raised eyebrows. She knew she looked like a mess, bruises all over, probably a wild expression, and Steve looking like a deer in the headlights. "Because I was unconscious in a hospital bed, Steve." she said.
He cursed and reached for her, but she shrugged him off again.
"It's not the end of the world. Jonathan and Joyce are going to take me and Will to see Owens today."
Steve shook his head. "I shouldn't have-"
"Steve." she snapped, gaining his attention.
“It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could do about it.” The bell sounded above them, and she glanced down the hall. “Besides, if it was that bad, then I wouldn’t be here.”
He sighed, relenting the point. She was as stubborn as they come, especially when it came to school. She didn’t exactly enjoy being there, but it kept her distracted. And he knew that. “Fine. But if it happens again, I want you to go home.”
Ari rolled her eyes. “Yes, mom.”
Steve snorted at her and picked up his own backpack. “Can I walk with you?”
She nodded, shoving her notes and books into her bag and taking off down the hallway. She passed several people who nodded at her. They were the ones that used to know her. Before her disappearance, that is.
She and Steve passed Billy, who gave her a knowing look before raking his eyes up and down her figure. A cocky smirk took over his features and he winked at her. Ari completely ignored him, instead taking a small step closer to Steve and clenching her fist at her side while the other clenched tightly around the strap of her bag, her knuckles turning white.
Steve immediately noticed to exchange, deciding to take the matter in his own hands. He slipped his arm around Ari’s shoulders and tugged her close to his side protectively. He glanced over his shoulder as they walked away, noticing Billy smirking as they walked away, watching the way she moved.
“What was that about?” he asked, turning back to Ari.
She mumbled something under her breath that he didn’t quite understand, continuing to walk straight ahead.
“I didn’t catch that, A.”
Another mumble fell from her lips and he rolled his eyes.
“Come on, Ari. That guy is trouble.”
She sighed. “I may have made a scene with him at Tina’s party last night when I came to get you.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “What kind of scene?”
Ari shrugged. “Nothing important that you need to worry about, Steve.”
He grunted in disbelief before letting her go when they stopped in front of the Chemistry lab. “Fine. You gonna be okay if I leave you by yourself?”
“No.” she deadpanned. “I will be completely lost without my all-powerful friend Steve to keep me company and keep me out of trouble.”
He snorted before squeezing her shoulder and turning to head to his math class. Ari rolled her eyes and walked into the lab, quickly and quietly finding her seat. She could hear the whispers as she walked by.
“Did you hear about what she did last night?”
“She went up against Billy. And he just let her go. I’m surprised he didn’t gut her right there.”
“No, man, he’s the one that should be happy she didn’t lose it. Remember what happened to Jeremy?”
“She’s got a target on her back now.”
“I don’t care. As long as she stays away from Billy, I couldn’t care less what that freak does.”
She clenched her jaw as she caught bits and pieces of different conversations. Billy was a jerk, and she knew it. The entire population of Hawkins High knew it. But the girls were too busy swooning or trying to get in his pants to care, and the guys were too busy trying to be just like him to give a crap. Ari seemed to be one of the few that could see straight through his bull crap. And she wasn’t about to put up with it.
And if that meant supporting her drunken her friend and staring down the new King of Hawkins, then she would do it in a heartbeat. She would take a beating for her friends. She would fight for them. And if Billy Hargrove was the worst she had to face, then bring it on.
She was extremely protective of all her friends; Jonathan, Nancy, Will and the kids, and Barb. A sharp pang shot through her heart at the thought of her fallen friend. She tried everything in her power to get to Barb. She tried so hard to keep them all safe and together. But, in the end, she had failed.
She sat at her desk, a veil of sadness shrouding her from the rest of the world. She went through the class on autopilot, and the class after that. She paid attention enough to grasp what her assignment was and when it was due, but other than that, she blocked everything else out.
Ari knew Jonathan was going to be upset when he found out she was spacing off again. But sometimes it was beyond her control. She made her way through the rest of the morning without much of a problem, finally dragging herself out of the fog around lunch time. She made her way out to her bike, where she saw Will anxiously waiting for her.
“Will?” she called, picking up her pace a little. He looked up when he heard her voice, a relieved smile breaking out across his face. He bolted towards her, his arms clamping around her waist like a vice. She almost had the air squeezed out of her and she chuckled, hugging him back. A few moments later, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas all came up, smiles on their faces.
“Hey guys!” she said with a grin. Once Will released her, the other three attacked her in a group hug. She laughed and returned the embrace. “What’s up?”
“Nothing, we just wanted to come say hi.”
She grinned at them, ruffling Dustin’s hair before nudging Mike and Lucas. “I’m glad you did. I’m having a crappy day.”
Dustin frowned at her. “Why?”
She shrugged. “I just keep running into someone I have no interest in seeing.” The smile fell from her face when she saw someone approaching them. She knew immediately who it was. Catching on to her mood change, Will looked over, a small frown on his face.
“Hey, isn’t that the guy who stopped Tommy from hitting you?” he asked.
“What?!” Dustin demanded.
“Some jack*** tried to hit you?!” Mike asked incredulously.
“That’s just messed up.” Lucas said, crossing his arms and turning back to Ari. “No one hits a woman.”
“I agree.” His rough voice cut through the air like a knife, sending a chill down Ari’s spine. She narrowed her eyes at him as the kids formed a small semi-circle around her, all crossing their arms. That brought a smile to her face that she couldn’t hide, and Billy raised an eyebrow at the sight.
“Letting kids fight your battles now, Rusty?”
She rolled her eyes. “No. They’re just trying to act all macho, when we all know they’re not.”
“Hey!” Dustin snapped, turning back to her. “We can be macho when we wanna be.”
Ari laughed. “Sure, Dusty.”
He mumbled something under his breath, and she grinned at him. “You guys should get back before someone comes looking for you.”
Billy leaned against his car as he watched her interact with the middle school kids. They all muttered their agreement before hugging her and turning to Billy, nodding at him, and walking back to their own school. “Huh.” he said.
She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, looking at him. “What?”
He just grinned and shook his head. “I just didn’t take you for someone who likes kids.”
Ari just rolled her eyes. “You don’t know me, Hargrove.”
“I’d like to.”
Another eye roll. “Sure. Whatever you say.” Then she took a deep breath. “Look, Hargrove. I don’t know why, but I know it was you that took me to the hospital last night. I wanted to say thank you for that.”
He pushed off his car and approached her. “I can’t do something out of the kindness of my heart, Rusty?”
“No.” she deadpanned.
He chuckled. She caught on quickly. She knew he wanted something from her, and she had a good idea of what it was. But she wasn’t going to give it to him. Not in a million years.
“Do me a favor, Hargrove.”
“What’s that, Rusty?”
She picked up her bag. “Leave me alone. You stay out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours.”
He crossed his arms. “Who says I want you to do that?”
She gave him a half smile before turning and walking away, leaving him to stare after her.
What is it with this girl? He thought. What is it gonna take to get her to pay attention to me? He turned his head, watching from afar as the middle school kids that she had been with stood, arms crossed, observing the scene play out in front of them. He cocked a smirk, shoving his hands in his pockets. The puzzle surrounding her kept getting more and more detailed. And he was going to have a blast putting it together.
Ari was walking into her next class, English Literature, with a smile. That was one of the classes that she actually enjoyed and planned on doing everything she could to get an A. She smiled at the teacher, Ms. Braum, as she walked in. Ms. Braum was a younger teacher, only in her mid 30’s. She always wore her honey colored hair in a messy bun on top of her head, and her wide rimmed dark blue glasses made her hazel eyes look a little bigger. Her casual style was reflected in the old jeans, dress shirt, and blue blazer that she wore.
“Hey, Ms. Braum.” Ari said as she walked into the classroom. She was one of the first ones there, and she always enjoyed the few minutes that she got to spend with the teacher.
“Hi, Ari!” she exclaimed. “Did you get a chance to read the book that I suggested to you?”
Ari nodded her head. “I did! I liked Les Misérables, but out of the two, I preferred Lorna Doone.”
Julie nodded her assent. “I figured that would be your pick. I’m glad you got a chance to look them over.”
Ari grinned. “Thanks for the suggestions.” Reading was one of her many escapes. She could lose herself in the words, spinning the world in her mind as she read. She could focus on something other than the living he** that was her life.
“Of course! Just don’t forget about the assignment.”
Ari laughed. “I would never.”
She made her way back towards the desk she shared with a girl named Kate, dropping her bag over the back of the chair and grabbing her book and notebook from her bag and sitting down. The bell rand a few moments later, and a lazy flow of students began to shuffle in. Her eyes scanned the crowd, looking for the familiar face of her desk partner. Kate was one of the people that enjoyed Ari’s company, and she wasn’t going to complain if the girl happened to be friendly on top of it all.
She frowned when she didn’t see her, everyone quickly finding their seats like drones. Her heart just about leapt into her throat when he stepped through the door.
No, no, no, no! she thought. This was one of the few places she could count that he would never step foot in. But, like everything seemed to play out that morning, she was wrong. He looked over Ms. Braum with a raised eyebrow, his eyes telling Ari exactly what he was thinking. She almost gagged at the thought.
“Am I in the right class?” he asked, his deep voice carrying over the room and making several heads snap up. He glanced down at the paper that was in his hand before looking back up to Julie. “Literature?”
Ari decided to block him out entirely, instead burying herself in the world of Lord of the Flies, their current reading assignment for the class.
She smiled warmly at him. “Yes, sir! You’ve got the right place.”
He showed her an award-winning smile. “Sweet. I’m Billy.”
“Nice to meet you, Billy. I’m Ms. Braum. The Principal told me I would be getting a new student today.” She looked over to the room of drooling girls and annoyed boys. Ari was the only one who seemed indifferent, her nose already stuck in the book they were reading. She suppressed a smile at the thought. “I’m sorry I don’t have a spot assigned to you yet, but you can have a seat next to Ari.”
His eyes swiveled to her. She was leaned against her desk, elbow resting on the wood beside her book while her hand supported her cheek, strands of her red hair falling in her face as she flipped the page with her other hand. “It would be my pleasure.” he said.
The head of every single girl in the room turned to Ari, eyes narrowing with hate.
“What does she have that I don’t?”
“She’s not even that popular. I don’t know why he would be interested.”
“Come on, Allie. You know she’s like the Queen of Hawkins.”
“Since when? People don’t acknowledge that!”
“Someone want to tell her she’s not? She’ll charm the he** out of you and make you walk off a bridge or something.”
“I don’t know guys, she seems cool enough.”
“I don’t think I believe all those stories about her.”
“Who cares? She’s still a freak.”
She jumped when she heard the chair beside her scrape against the floor. She looked over to see Billy smirking at her, dropping into the chair. He leaned against the desk and used his foot to scoot the chair in, his eyes darting over to the book that lay open in front of her.
“Whatcha got there, Rusty?”
She glared. “Reading assignment.”
His eyes skimmed a few lines of the page, his eyebrows raising. “Nothing prospered but the flies who blackened their lord and made the spilt guts look like a heap of glistening coal. Even when the vessel broke in Simon's nose and the blood gushed out they left him alone, preferring the pig's high flavor. With the running of the blood Simon's fit passed into the weariness of sleep.” He looked over at her, his eyebrows about to his hair line. “Da**, Rusty. A little dark, don’t you think?”
She shrugged. “It’s a classic, Hargrove. Besides, you have to read the book to understand it.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’ve read it before, Rusty. That doesn’t mean I think it’s not dark and creepy.”
Ari snorted, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips, teasing him. He knew she had an amazing smile when it was genuine. But he also knew that he would probably never be on the receiving end of that smile. “Fair enough.” she muttered. Then she paused, turning to face him. “You read?”
The smile that had been teasing him disappeared into a confused frown and he almost laughed at her expression. Hiding his amusement, he rolled his eyes. “Yes, I read.”
She opened her mouth to say something before Julie interrupted her. She reluctantly gave Billy a look that told him that conversation wasn’t over before paying attention to what the teacher was telling them.
“And I want a report done by the end of next week. Complete breakdown and analysis of the book. Got it?”
Everyone voiced their agreement.
“I want the project done in twos. And guess what? You get to work with your desk partner. No arguments.”
Ari just about dropped her head down onto the desk. She had to work on an assignment with Billy? That was going to be fun. He chuckled at her reaction.
“Awe, come on Rusty. I’m not that bad. Besides, you’ll love me one you get to know me!”
She glared at him, having no intention of willing spending time with that grade A jerk. “In your dreams, Hargrove.” With that, she stood, grabbing her bag and walking away before he could say anything else. She could hear his chuckle follow her out the door as she stalked towards the gym. She had a free period and she knew Steve would be having basketball practice. And she might as well get a jumpstart on the project because she knew Billy would practically be useless when it came to helping her with the report.
She set herself up in the bleachers, her back against the wall and her feet resting on the wooden seat in front of her. She hummed quietly as she made herself comfortable, scribbling some notes down as she read another chapter of her book.
She looked up only when the doors opened to reveal the basketball team coming in. She watched as Steve entered, waving up at her. She returned the gesture, smiling broadly. Steve was one of the best, if not the best on the team. She went back to her book until a few moments later, several other girls invaded the gym to watch the practice. Ari rolled her eyes before the whispers caught her attention. She pretended to pay no mind as she continued reading.
“Billy looks so hot out there.”
“What’s the freak doing here? Is she stalking him?”
“Pft, probably. The girl’s just a slut.”
“I saw her with Steve Harrington this morning. Isn’t he supposed to be dating Nancy Wheeler?”
“Yeah, Wheeler’s not gonna be happy when she finds out her boyfriend has been double dealing.”
“Guys, come on. Just watch the game.”
Ari’s grip on her book tightened, her knuckles turning white. People could think what they wanted about her, but when it came to her friends, they should keep their opinions to themselves.
The ball bounced out of bounds, and Ari looked over as it started rolling towards the bleachers. She raised an eyebrow as Billy came over, shirtless, and wearing a pair of small gym shorts that showed more than they needed to. He leaned down, picked up the ball, and stood, holding it under his arm.
“Come to cheer me on, Rusty?”
“You wish, Hargrove.”
He chuckled at her. “Enjoying the view?”
Ari’s eyes scanned the rest of the team, all pausing to gulp from their water bottles as Billy stood and talked to her. “It’s not bad.” She shrugged before nodding over to Steve. “He’s kicking your butt, ya know?”
Billy glanced back before frowning at her. “Harrington?” He snorted. “Dude doesn’t stand a chance.” Ari rolled her eyes when he winked at her. “See you later, babe.”
He ran back out to the court, dribbling the ball and shooting it as he went. Of course, it sank into the basket and he smirked triumphantly. Ari just rolled her eyes, feeling the jealous stares of the other girls. She stood up, grabbing her things before yelling spitefully, “Kick his a**, Steve!”
Ari stalked out of the gym, running a hand through her hair. She paused in her steps when she felt a tightness in her chest. She frowned before her vision suddenly turned hazy. Gasping at the sudden lack of oxygen, she almost dropped against the lockers, throwing her hand out in time to catch herself. She looked around, everything turning black. Specs of white danced across her vision and she whipped her head around. A low growl sounded from down the hall, and she narrowed her eyes.
The Upside Down.
She gasped as a dog like creature leapt forwards, it’s face splitting apart like the Demogorgan. She let out a hiss as she felt its teeth sink into her flesh.
“Ari!”
Her eyes snapped open and she saw Jonathan in front of her, holding her shoulders tightly with a terrified expression on his face.
Steve watched as Ari stalked out of the gym, a frown on his face. “What’d you say to her, man?” he asked, turning to Billy. “I haven’t seen her that pissed in a while.”
Billy just snorted. “Harrington, right? I heard you used to run this school. King Steve, that’s what they used to call you.” He moved behind Steve, waiting to make his move to steal the ball. “Then you turned b****.” He grabbed the ball at the same time he planted his foot between Steve’s, knocking him over with his shoulder.
He ran towards the hoop, jumping up and swinging his leg over the ball before landing the shot.
It wasn’t long until Steve was interrupted by Nancy, and the coach called five. Billy rolled his eyes before watching as Steve left the gym with Wheeler. He pursed his lips. Everything he heard lately said that Wheeler and Harrington were a happy couple. But judging from the looks on both of their faces, they were anything but. Earlier in the day, he had watched Steve and Ari walk down the hall together. They looked like they were enjoying each other’s company, more than just friends would. His arm had been draped over her shoulders and she was tucked comfortably against his side. He wondered if that had anything to do with it.
Billy stalked towards Steve, the hot water scalding his skin. “Today’s just not your day, is it, Harrington?”
Steve grunted in response, ignoring him and continuing to rinse his hair of the half-rate shampoo the school provided them with.
Billy smirked, knowing he had hit a nerve. “Don’t worry about it, man. I mean, a pretty boy like you’s got nothing to worry about, right?” Steve turned a glare on him, but Billy’s smirk only got bigger. “I’ve seen you around, Harrington. Seen you with Wheeler. And Ari. Plenty of b****** in the sea, right?”
Steve turned on him, his lip raised in a snarl. “Don’t you dare talk about them like that.” he snapped.
Billy laughed. “Did I just find your pressure point, Harrington?”
He growled, slamming the valve shut, immediately cutting off the water. “Stay away from Ari, Hargrove.”
Billy raised an eyebrow. “Interesting. You mentioned your friend before your girlfriend. I wonder if that has anything to do with the pissy mood Wheeler was in earlier.”
Steve’s eyes hardened and he shoved Billy away from him. “I know guys like you, Hargrove. And I know Ari. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll back off. She doesn’t need someone like you in her life.” With that, he turned and stalked away, leaving Billy to scowl after him.
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Reignite (Present!Carol/Reader (OC)) - Chapter 1
A/N: Hey guys! I’m writing my first fanfic. It took me a lotta courage to actually post it, so I hope you like it. Tell me what you guys think <3
Ever since you could remember, you were never certain of your emotions. It was much easier to manipulate feelings rather than wasting energy to solve such a trivial mystery of your mind. That particular strategy, however odd, had been the main factor for not only your success in life, but you assume of your entire family. Varying media had slapped on countless titles like geniuses, progressive-minded, genetic and family goals. Using any silly, eye-catching terms to feed to the public. And they’d eat it up; they always do- like a junkie getting their hands on anything to get a fix out of reality. It’s sad, but the truth can be just that. No one wants their reality, not even yourself.
You, Lauren Troy, graduated from high school at 12 years old, successfully earning your double major degree in psychology and business by 16 before adding a degree in nursing and completing its master program at the age of 22, and finally working as a regular staff nurse. You, the daughter whose mother is one of the world’s best surgical oncologist, your father, the owner of one of wall street’s most profited firm five years running, the niece of a senator, and a CEO of New York’s number one hospital. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that you could lead a life that is untouchable and almost without consequences. However, it does seem to take a fucking genius to figure out that that life is excruciatingly isolating.
It wouldn’t surprise anyone from your family though, they’re smart enough to know that something stupid’s bound to happen. So went that ‘something stupid’ thing did happen, which was of you being found directly responsible of several patients’ deaths that were under your care, they just expressed fair amounts of disappointment and without another blink, would have proceeded to make the phone calls needed to fix the legal problem and handle whatever journalists that’d try to scoop up anything and make it a story.
What they didn’t expect was that you wanted to go to prison, and you wanted to serve the time the judged had given of four years. It confused your father the most. As dirty as he might be playing and winning in the money-making game, he loved you too much to have you stain your record and ruin your own future. You had persisted, barely at the edge of sanity from feeling so bothered by your own emptiness. You did something heinous, and you should face the consequences of it. You thought maybe then you’d be fixed. Finally, he had agreed but made an appeal to the judge for you to be placed into maximum security, away from any potential enemy that your family’s legacy might have made. Fortunately, serving your sentence went as smoothly as prison life could offer, and because of good behaviour and reputation, the board gave you an early release- two and a half years early. That night, you had laid down on your bed back in your expensive family home, forcing yourself to cry from just about anything- nothing happened.
Perhaps you felt slightly guilty when you realised how easy it was for you to get a job. It almost felt like nothing had changed. Like you weren’t hold up in a cell and only had an hour a day to see partial sunlight for 18 months. Like you hadn’t purposely overdosed vulnerable people and watch as they take their last breath. You ought to feel offended, you thought a second before accepting the offer of becoming a hospital CEO. Bonus point was having your brother as a colleague. Double bonus points for being able to resign comfortably at the age of 32.
So what if you definitely are an empty, emotionless being? You now have the money and time that could keep you cosy for a decade, and that’s without giving much thought to the calculation.
“Damn Laure, you’re really going for it huh? Got a plan for after?” Your brother brought your attention back to earth with the tone he used. There was a hint of jealousy that was laced in his first question, and you raised an eyebrow at him, intrigued that he’d feel that way. He wasn’t like you. He liked money, especially a shit ton of it to spend ridiculous things on. “Yeah, I doubt it’ll last long anyway. I get bored too easily.” “That’s true.” You were both just exiting the hospital to head over to a nearby restaurant for some late lunch when your brother phone’s ring. The ringtone was different than usual; it was a pop song that was playing. This meant that it was one of the girls he’d hooked up with called. You snicker at his confused look as he answers it.
“A babygirl of yours forget the rules or something? Or is she a new one?” You teased. He throws you a death glare before he walked away to have the conversation with some privacy, lifting his index finger for you to wait on. You turn your attention to the street in front and began people-watching. A fun activity to waste time, plus, it makes you think, and you like thinking. This suddenly made your mind run over the memories you had whilst in prison. You realise you didn’t have to do much thinking there. No stimulations, or puzzles, or mysteries that held your attention for long.
Except for one.
Pieces of scattered memory flashes in your mind: steely blue eyes; a pair that could read you like how you read your favourite books. Death grips; the kind that’s so painful that you would feel alive in. Greying blond hair; something you didn’t know you have an itch to feel gently against your fingertips, almost like old pressed up leaves. And jumbled up letters that you think forms a name, what was it?
Cathrine?
Cassie?
Cornelius?
Cape town?
Cornstarch?-
“Hey Laur, we need to get back inside.” Your head snaps quickly to where your brother was, almost jogging shortly to reach you. “Why?” Cheekytita? You think the C’s that are endlessly popping in your head are going to frustrate you to no end. “Remember Linda from MCC? Corporate prison people that would be better in prison?”
“You’re one to talk, but yeah I remember.” It would also mean that your brother had banged her a couple of times and the realisation made you feel repulsed. Cate Blanchett?
“She’s brought in someone from Max. Inmate suffered extreme blood loss, and is in a fucking coma right now.” You were confused by the lack of context. You hated not knowing something. “Then let the medical handle it. I don’t get why you’re like this.” He bites his bottom lip, hesitant to answer. “I owe her a favour, and now she’s claiming it. I’m worried because not only is her ass on the line, but my ass is dependent on this prisoner’s survival. Linda’s got major dirt on me, and I intend on not having it spread.” You nod, the gears in your head turning. Your brother starts to head to the ER room that the prisoner and Linda is. You follow him in quick steps. Half-shouting another question. “What does she want then? You said the guy’s alive?”
“She wants full recovery. Guy better be better than before he was stabbed. But she wants it hushed, as far away from bad PR as possible. A prisoner’s gonna get his own dedicated team or some crazy shit like that.” Both of you were close now, a couple more turns. “And you’re actually considering to follow every request?” The door’s to your left, and you automatically wrapped your hands around it before stopping yourself. “Sorry, you do it.” You take a step back for your brother. “Exactly, I have to.” He mirrors your words as he opens the door and steps inside.
As your mind recognises Linda’s face, you felt a wave a disgust and turn your gaze elsewhere. Your brother can sort this out, you convince yourself as his voice fills the room as he greets the black-haired woman with fake warmth. The hospital bed was to your right, and you see the outline of a body at the corner of your eye. You mind thought of multiple scenarios at once for a prisoner to be in this position, now completely filled with curiosity. You head over to see the luckily unlucky man. What was it?
Gang capture gone wrong? Then there should’ve been multiple sent here.
Cage fight? No cages there, cell fight more like it.
Castration? Obviously not, but it does start with a ‘c’.
What it was had frozen your body and mind; an upward curve at the torso, thin, pale hands at the sides with veins that pushes high against the skin, lined complexion- wrinkles. Shoulder length dull blond hair, it seems to be greying. Something in the back of your head began pounding to be released. A locked information that you wanted to know as well but can’t recall. Something had reflected light into your eyes. A glint from beside the bed and your eyes searched for the source. Big framed glasses, it reminded you of a style you barely recognised, like in the 80s.
A piece of a puzzle manifests in your mind. Whether it’s the final or the first, you don’t know.
Oh, wait- oh no.
C is for Carol. Carol Denning.
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Kiss for @nihil-remedium and the rest of their muses since I know they do your Varus as well
// Someone is painfully unaware of how many muses Birdie has. Or they know perfectly well and just want to torture me? Hard to tell, not gonna tag every single one of Birdie’s blogs just gonna link [X] this post which has a full list while also tagging. @nihil-remedium I’m going to attempt the whole list, we’ll see how far I get.
Lux is finding it hard to breath with how tightly Cassi is coiled around her. She’d known the other’s tail was flexible, but she hadn’t expected to be nearly crushed in it. It wasn’t that it hurt, not really, it was mostly just making her dizzy. Thankfully the other didn’t seem to mind when Lux rested her head against Cassi. How she’d ended up sitting in the serpents nest of pillows was a little beyond her at the moment. It’d started out simple, something about letting Cassiopeia play in her hair and now? Lux glanced up at the other woman, eyes a little dazed. There was the softest little sound, almost like a hum from Cassi, as if she was debating something. Lux wasn’t sure what she was debating, and didn’t care either as she leaned up slightly to nuzzle under Cassiopeia’s chin. The snake stilled, but didn’t pull back even when Lux pressed feather light kisses to her throat. Was she losing her mind? Possibly. Was this a terrible idea? Most definitely.
He didn’t look angry, as she’d thought he might. It had been a cheeky move on her part but self defense training wasn’t something she was keenly interested in. Not at least in the way Varus had planned for them. His pace was grueling, and she was reminded once again that he just liked to fight. Combat for him was fun, exciting, even if it was tiring for her. She’d tossed out a flash of light followed by tackling him to the ground. The resulting scuffle had ended with him pinning her with an almost bemused look. His expressions were always minimal, and she’d had to learn how to read the slightest change. She still didn’t get it right all the time, despite how hard she tried.
“Sorry, just needed a break.” Maybe it was pride then, at her doing something unexpected? Lux had a habit of surprising him after all, despite his attempts to understand her. She lifted her hand to play in the strands of silver that had tumbled over his shoulder during their fight. He stilled for a moment, waiting, before relaxing into her touch. He always did that, tensed as if ready for an attack or a threatening motion before relaxing when he realized it wasn’t.
He was about to pull back, likely to insist they pick back up where they’d left off when she stopped him. His skin was always warm under her touch but his lips were fire on hers. It had her stomach fluttering, and him freezing in place, if he put an arrow through her a few moments from now at least it’s be worth it.
You’d think meeting a dragon would be easy for her. What with Shyvana living in Demacia. It wasn’t like she’d never seen a dragon, but she’d never seen one quite this large before. She’d also never seen one that shimmered like the stars either. The fact that he’d done nothing more than lazily spoken with her was an even stranger occurrence. He was sassy and hilarious, and she found his company quite enjoyable. Thus the parting kiss to the tip of his snoot as she promised to return had seemed entirely natural. At least until she remembered that he was a dragon and he might find it offensive. Ah well, hopefully he liked her enough not to smite her.
Lux has rarely in her years of travel met someone shorter than her, or quite as fascinating as Orianna. The young woman has been decidedly pleasant throughout their entire conversation. She’s answered as many of Lux’s questions as she can but there just seems an overwhelming sense of loss about her. She seems confused about her place in the world, and Lux can understand that. The offer to dance is a random one, but Orianna accepts it with grace and Lux can’t help the kiss she places to the back of the other’s hand. It’s silly, it’s not her place, but she doesn’t care because it just felt right.
The feeling of his nose pressing into her stomach has her heart fluttering in her chest. The flick of his ears indicates he’s heard the sudden increase in her heart rate. Lux forces herself to calm as she reaches out a gentle hand to rub one of Warwick’s ears. Her small hand vanishes into the fluff around it as she smiles at him gently, though he can’t see it.
“Good boy. I brought you something.” Her voice is soft, her tone the most gentle and calming thing as she pets his ears. His breath is warm against her abdomen as he huffs against her. He can smell the meat she’s brought him, carefully devoid of blood lest he frenzy. This isn’t their first meeting, but this is always how it goes. It’s as if each time he has to acclimate himself to her scent. He’s clam today, more himself, less feral but still just as sad as he always is. She runs her other hand along his maw encouraging him to lift his head, across his cheek and into his neck ruff, all her motions slow, calming, but deliberate. There can be no fear, no trepidation, so the kiss she places on the side of his muzzle is firm, but shows no hesitance.
“Missed you.”
“Kayle.” Lux has dropped to the floor at the angel’s feet, exhaustion finally kicking in. She can feel the arms around her, the wings draping over her gently. Too much energy, too much effort, and yet somehow Kayle doesn’t seem to be the least bit tired as she gently lifts Lux into her arms. The tiny mage curls up easily, tucking herself small against the other woman who’s lifted her wings to shield them. There is no need really, other than the fact it makes Lux just feel safer in general.
“Sleep.” It’s a bit of a command but Lux doesn’t mind all the same. She leans up slightly missing her mark and ending up kissing Kayle’s jaw instead, close but not quite where she was aiming. If the angel is shocked she doesn’t show it, just continues to hold the tiny mage without complaint.
She doesn’t want to believe it, even when he stands there before her cigar between his lips and shotgun in hand. To his credit he looks just as shocked as she feels, at least in the way his eyes widen at the sight of her she perceives it as shock. Tears spring to her eyes and she drops the piece of wood to the ground next to the other member of his group. The man is unconscious and bleeding but at least he’s breathing. She holds her hands up and takes a step forward.
“Malcom, he... I.. . I’m sorry.” He’d attacked her, pretty ladies didn’t walk alone at night in these parts. Especially not ladies of rich families, but she’d come to warn him. Her brother had picked up his trail, asked her questions about him being a member of the mafia. Lux had denied it, every word, she wouldn’t believe it. That wasn’t her Mal. He was an honest man, sweet, shy about some things, not this, never this.
“It’s alright Lux, go on.” He puts the cigar out on a nearby wall and motions to the door with is head. Graves shouldn’t let her go, should end it quickly but he doesn’t have it in him. Doesn’t have the heart. He half expects her to flee out of the room. To run past him, and for a moment that looks like what she’s going to do. He’s got a few moments to consider his options before he’s got an armful of sobbing blonde who’s peppering his face with kisses until she finds his lips.
“Please don’t hate me.” Her voice is a broken little whisper against his lips as he carefully moves the shotgun out of the way. Gods this was a mess he’d never expected to find himself in.
It had started simply enough, stroking his ears had been a simple process. The soft sound of his pleasure at such menstruation, the feeling of his arms around her. Of being pulled into his lap, his hands on her hips as she’d moved her fingers through his hair. It had all seemed so natural at the time. She loved the feeling of his feathers, and Rakan had never begrudged her petting him, touching him. She wasn’t sure how it had gone from simple petting to the feeling of his nails digging into her hips and her lips on his. It had been a very strange turn of events. It was a dizzying display of lights behind her eyes, and electricity along her skin wherever his fingers touched. Really, how had it ended up like this? More importantly, why was she still kissing him, and even more than that why as he letting her? All questions she supposed she could answer later, after she’d finished drowning herself in the bird below her.
#Lux Answers#ALL 8 of BIRDIES MUSES#FITE ME#I AM AWESOME#Do you hear me?#awesome#I know they aren't all on the lips#But there are 8 guys#It's a lot#But I did it#An Arrows Illumination | Lux & Varus#Some are long#Some are short#Most likely don't make sense#I don't care#It was wonderful to write anyway#haHA#Long post#Anonymous
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Inside Avas’ OCs
I got a questionnaire from mibba.com for my OCs
Oliver Asman
Basic
1. What is your full birth name? Oliver Lee Asman
2. Any nicknames? Oli
3. When were you born/how old are you? June 5. I’m 19
4. If immortal or slow-ageing, what is your apparent age? I’m human soo.
5. Where were you born?
The United States
6. Who were your parents? Cassie and Daniel Asman
7. Do you have any siblings? Yeah. He is 5. His name is Joel.
8. Where do you live now? At jacks house in the US
9. Who do you live with? Jackson Canmore and his mom.
10. Are you right or left-handed?
Left
11. What words/phrases do you regularly use? I definitely say sorry a lot.
12. Name some habits or strange quirks you have? I chew on hoodie strings. And my shirt sometimes. I know it���s gross
Appearance
13. Height: 5’ 7”
14. Weight: 147 pounds
15. Skin Tone: I’m tan
16. Body Shape: normal? I don’t know.
17. Hair: blonde quiff
18. Eyes: blue
19. Face Shape:what does this even mean?
20. Everyday Dress Style:I like to wear black jeans and a t shirt
21. Formal Dress Style:slacks and dress shirt.
22. Any Jewelry? A few bracelets just to fidget with really.
23. Any Scars? Just a few. Ive got some on my thigh. I don’t want to talk about it.
24. Tattoos? No.
Growing Up
25. How would you describe your childhood in general? It was okay. It could have been better. I was kicked out though. There was that.
26. What is your earliest memory?
My mom and dad arguing over money. He hit her.
27. How much schooling have you had? I graduated
28. Did you enjoy school?
Yeah. I got to spend time with friends. And jack
29. Where did you learn most of your skills/abilities?
School
30. Any role models while growing up? Not really until middle school. I really liked the flash. Jack made me watch it.
31. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I actually wanted to be a dinosaur. Then I wanted to be a teacher
32. What was your favourite thing to do? Play with dinosaur toys with jack. And when I grew up a bit I liked to write.
33. Were you popular?
No
34. Who were your friends?
Jack, Misha, Collin, Rex, Alex, Loni
35. When and who was your first kiss?
My first kiss was a girl named Maddie in 6th grade
Past Influences
36. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Moving in with jack when I got kicked out. That really influenced our friendship and helped us get together. And that was life changing.
37. Who has had the most influence on you? Jack.
38. What do you consider is your greatest achievement? Healing from being kicked out and not trying to reach out to my toxic family.
39. What is your greatest regret? Missing so many opportunities because of insecurity.
40. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I have no idea. I try not to do bad things.
41. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? No
42. When was the time you were the most frightened? When I was kicked out. I was so scared. My dad had me by the hair and was dragging and throwing me.
43. The most embarrassing moment of your life so far? I accidentally submitted one of my writings for an assignment instead of the actual assignment. My teacher was really confused.
44. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be and why? As much as I loved living with Jack and his mom, I wish I wouldn’t have come out to them. Maybe they would still talk to me.
45. What is your best memory? My first kiss. Jack and I were in the park. And without me even telling him I liked him, we both just kinda kissed.
46. What is your worst memory? Other than being kicked out, Being beat up in the bookstore. I didn’t do anything to them, but because I was holding hands with jack, they put put me in the hospital.
Beliefs and Opinions
47. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? I try to be an optimist.
48. What is your greatest fear?
Being alone
49. What are your religious views?
I believe in the Christian god. But I never go to church or anything.
50. Political views?
Not conservative.
51. Views on Sex?
Sex is a cool thing. Everyone is different with it, but it’s nice. I like it. I want to go more into detail but I really shouldn’t.
52. In your own opinion, what is the most evil thing someone could do?
Kick out their child for being lgbt+
53. Do you believe in Soul Mates/True love? I do.
54. What do you base success on?
Personal Achievements. I’m successful for finding a healthy relationship and getting out of a toxic situation. Other people are successful for getting past their bad pasts.
55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with yourself?
I try to push my feelings away. I don’t like negative emotions.
56. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with others?
I usually tell jack how I feel if I’m depressed because he likes to help.
57. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
Yes.
58. Is there anything you would absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances?
I’m sure there is. But I don’t know what they would be
59. Why would you refuse?
N/a
60. Who or what, if anything, would you die for?
I’d die for jack and his family. I’d die for my friends. Id die for the kids like me who don’t have anyone to go to because they were abandoned for who they are.
61. What do you feel the most passionate about?
Jack.
62. What one act are you most proud of?
Healing from bad things.
63. What one act are you most ashamed of?
Coming out to my parents.
64. Are you a leader or follower?
Follower
Relationships
65. In general, how do you treat people you don’t know well? I try to be nice to everyone.
66. How do you treat people you do know?
With respect.
67. Who do you respect the most and why?
Jack. He is a nice human who has been through bad days. And he is still the best and nicest person I know.
68. Who are your friends?
Misha, collin, Jack, Loni, Alex, and Rex.
69. Who is your best friend?
Jack
70. Ever been in love?
Obviously.
71. Who do you consider family?
Jack, Misha, Collin, Ms. Canmore
72. How close are you to your family?
I don’t talk to them. At all.
73. Who do you turn to in desperate times and why?
Jack. He has always been there for me.
74. Who do you trust to protect you and why? No one should have to protect me. But in the times that I needed it, Jack. Sorry if I keep saying his name for everything. He is everything to me.
75. Who do you despise the most and why?
My dad. He took me by my hair and threw me from our house because of my sexuality.
76. Do you tend to argue or avoid conflict? Avoid. My anxiety doesn’t like to fight.
77. Do you care what others think of you?
Yes.
Sex and Intimacy
78. Do you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, trans or something else?
Pansexual.
79. Do you have a significant other?
Yes.
80. Describe them: kind, smart, sweet, supportive, loving, and everything someone could want.
81. What is the perfect romantic date?
Going to the park and having lunch.
82. Best sexual partner?
Jack is the best. But he is the only person I’ve had sex with.
83. Worst sexual partner?
No one. Jack is the only person I’ve had sex with.
84. Worst thing you’ve done to someone you love?
I don’t know.
Likes and Dislikes
85. What is/are your favourite hobbies/pastimes?
I like to watch tv. And write.
86. What is your most prized possession?
The bracelet jack gave me.
87. Favourite colour?
Green
88. Favourite food?
Pizza
89. Favourite movie? Spider-Man: far from home
90. Favourite TV show?
Glee
91. What, if anything, do you like to read?
I like poems. Rupi Karar especially
92. What style of music do you like?
I like all music. Except country.
93. What is your idea of good entertainment? Books, tv, plays, etc.
94. Do you smoke?
No. It’s gross
95. Drink?
I don’t unless someone offers at like a party or something.
96. Drugs?
Nah.
97. Typical Friday night?
Cuddles with jack.
98. What would be the perfect gift for you?
Roses.
99. Rain or Sun and why? Rain. I like to feel the rain.
100. Day or Night and why?
Day. I like the sunrises and the sense of everyone having something to do in the light.
101. What makes you laugh?
Puns. Jokes.
102. What shocks/offends you?
Anti-lgbt people. People who deny human rights to others.
103. How do you deal with stress? I usually break down and cry.
104. Are you spontaneous, or do you feel you always need a plan?
I prefer plans to ease my anxiety.
105. Any pet peeves?
Nah.
Occupation/Study
106. Do you have a job or are you studying? I stay at home. I don’t do much. I sometime write for commission money.
107. If so, what is it/what course?
Writing.
108. Do you like it?
Yeah.
109. If studying/not working, where does your money come from? It doesn’t really.
110. What is your boss/teacher(s)/agent/publisher ect like? I am my boss that’s pretty cool.
111. What are your co-workers/other students like? Nope.
112. Do you get along with them? Nope.
113. What is something you had to learn that you hated?
Semicolons
114. Do you tend to save or spend your money?
Save
Misc.
115. Describe the routine of a normal day for you:
Wake up. Cuddle. Sometimes work. Eat. Cuddle. Blah blah.
116. What is your greatest strength?
Being able to pick myself up when I’m down
117. Greatest weakness?
Being so emotional
118. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I would want to look better. I think I could improve my face.
119. Introvert or Extrovert?
Introvert
120. Organised or messy?
Organized.
121. Three things you’re good at:
Writing, overthinking, and being a friend.
122. Three things you’re bad at:
Rationalizing, talking to strangers, and being alone
123. Do you like yourself?
Kinda
124. What is your life goal?
To be fully happy with who I am.
125. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully I’m married to jack. Maybe having a baby.
126. If you could choose, how would you want to die? With jack by my side. I don’t want to be alone.
127. Three things you would do with 24 hours left to live? Talk to my family and explain to them some things, tell Joel how important he is to the world, and to have some alone time with jack.
128. What is one thing you’d like to be remembered for after your death? Being a good person
129. Three words to describe your personality?
Awkward, caring, and nice.
130. Three words others use to describe your personality?
Awkward, horny, and fun😂
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This is a Call of Arms- Chapter One
Summary: Danielle is gay and her parents are very religious. They force her to attend church and youth group, but when the pastor’s daughter, Phoebe decides to befriend her, it becomes much more bearable.
Genre: AU, fluff, eventual smut, angst
Note: This is my first fic. I noticed that there weren’t a lot of fem!phan fics, so I wanted to contribute. I’m just a very gay girl who wants to write about very gay characters. Feel free to send asks, anons, and requests.
I like girls. I don’t understand why more girls don’t like other girls. Everyone at school knows that I like girls. So do my parents, prompting them to decide to send me to youth group every Sunday. I’m not sure if they actually care about the sermons “curing” me, or if they just want to get more involved in the church to gain the respect of the pastor. Mom and Dad have always cared about what the pastor and the church thought of them, and I still can’t pinpoint why, but that doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to go to church every Sunday morning and youth every Sunday night.
Saturday dinners are always fairly dull, as are most dinners we spend together as a family. The only thing about Saturday dinners is that they are required. I usually spend most of my time at Jessica’s house. She has been my best and only friend for years, but it has and always shall remain platonic. Her mom is always so welcoming, as her daughter is far more open about her sexuality than I am. Dinners are usually much more fun at the Keaton household than they are at mine.
“Sweetie, I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to attend youth group. All of the kids are just so wonderful, especially Pastor Mark’s daughter. Phoebe is a lovely girl.” My mom keeps trying to make me want to go to church so she won’t feel bad about making me.
“Making me go to church every week isn’t going to change the fact that i’m gay.” I didn’t look up from my plate as I said it.
My father spoke up, “Danielle, I will not have you identify yourself as a homosexual any longer. I did not raise a dyke.”
I was surprised. I actually chuckled a little bit after I heard my mother gasp. I just looked at him, stood up, and went to my room. I just sat on my bed for a moment. I had never heard something so hateful from either of my parents before. I would say it hurt, but it’s hard to be affected by people who think of you like that. I didn’t want to think about it too much, so I just put on a record. I figured that The Smiths would be a little too sad, so a settled on Kid A. I’d rather feel spaced out than depressed. Maybe i’m a little bit more affected by my father's harsh words than I let on. Neither of my parents spoke to me again that night. I didn’t stay up too late. I had church in the morning.
…
I woke up at 8:00, which was fairly early, considering church didn’t start until 9:30 and it usually took me about 15 minutes to get ready. I’m sixteen and I still haven't started wearing makeup, i’m just too lazy to learn how. Luckily, my skin is decently clear, so I can almost get away with it. About ¾ of my time is spent trying to tame my hair, which I can’t say is curly because only parts of it are. Others are wavy and some strands are pin straight, but all of it is frizzy and permanently tangled. Because I had time, I took a shower before church and straightened my hair afterwards to tame it. By the time I had finished, it was 9:00 and I heard a knock on my door. I quickly put on a dress and walked to the car where my parents were waiting. The car ride to church was silent, and it wasn’t until we were greeted at the door that my parents finally spoke.
“Danielle, what a beautiful girl. Where have you been hiding this one, Cassie?” Gloria Davis, an old woman that was greeting at the door said to my mom. “We haven’t seen her here in ages. We are delighted to have you back, young lady,” she said to me before turning to shake the hands of another family.
“So noone here knows.” I said under my breath, only half wanting my parents to hear me.
“You are correct, and they will NOT find out. Do you understand me Danielle?” said my father in an incredibly harsh tone.
“Yes, of course. We wouldn’t want the whole congregation to find out you raised a dyke, now would we?” I retorted.
“You will not use that language in God’s house,” he said back to me as we sat down in a pew.
Before the sermon started, I spent some time looking around the church. I hadn’t been to a service in over a year, and I was starting to forget what it was like. There was so much forced friendliness as everyone greeted each other. I will admit, however, that the stain glass was gorgeous. I was admiring it when Pastor Mark and his daughter Phoebe entered the sanctuary and started greeting the people in the pews. They made their way to the front when Phoebe stopped at the first pew. As she walked to find her seat, she turned and her eyes met mine. It was extremely awkward, as neither of us looked away for a while. She was pretty, with long light brown hair that hung past her shoulders in natural waves. Her eyes were brown, but they had depth that I thought my father’s and mother’s brown eyes lacked. I finally broke eye contact when her father started speaking at the pulpit. He went through the mundane announcements, obituaries, and births, when the music started playing and everyone stood. We sang an old hymn, and then he began his sermon.
“This world, or rather the society, is broken. We allow immoral things that are blatantly against the will of God to be legalized and even celebrated in our culture. Examples of these include the legalization of marijuana, euthanasia, and most disgusting, homosexual marriage.” This earned nods and hums of agreement from the congregation. I started to stand up in order to avoid a hateful sermon, but my mother grabbed my hand and pulled me down before I could fully stand. “Leviticus 18:22, Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. This, of course goes for women and womankind,” he says. Both of my parents quickly glance at me and return their eyes to the pulpit. “Leviticus 20:13, If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. The men and women committing these acts do not deserve our prayers, but they need them. As Christians, we cannot allow them to damn themselves to an eternity in hell.”
The sermon continued as would be expected. Afterwards, everyone began to greet each other with the same forced friendliness as before. The pastor and his daughter approached my family.
“Danielle, it’s so nice to finally see you here again. What has it been, a year? Why haven’t you been coming?” Mark said to me.
I opened my mouth hoping to respond with, “I have been coming, but with girls,” but my mother interrupted me.
“She had a few rough months and preferred to look to God in solitude rather than with a congregation.”
“Well, that’s fine. A personal relationship with God is the most important aspect of life. I trust that you have moved past these rough times?”
“Yes, sir.” I responded. “Thank you for asking,” my words practically dripping with disdain. He didn’t seem to notice, but my mother did, shooting me a harsh look.
He looked at his watch. “Oh, my. I have a meeting right now, but it was nice catching up, Danielle. Bill, Cassie, see you at the luncheon on Wednesday. Beef stew, yum.”
“Of course, Mark,” said my mother. “See you then.”
Pastor Mark walked off as my parents started walking to the car. I was about to follow them when Phoebe spoke to me, “Are you coming to youth group tonight? It should be a blast.”
I was confused as to why she was talking to me. She went to my school, which meant that she knew that I was gay. “Yeah,” I responded. “It’s not like I have a choice.”
“Oh,” she said.”Well, i’ll see you there. It’ll be fun. Maria is bringing Twister.”
“Great,” I said before I turned and walked towards my parents car. She was beautiful, and if she wasn’t a gay-hating Christian, I would probably have been much less curt with her, but looks can’t always make up for personality.
#religion#christian#sexuality crisis#teenagers#highschool#popular!phil#enemies to friends to lovers#fem!phan#homophobia
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