#BUT LET ME BE THIS IS FOR MY OWN GOOD TANGINA | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

charmsonlinechatter · 11 months

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im at my limit

no actually i am.

I'm at a breaking point. The weight of disappointment and frustration is suffocating, and it's starting to consume me. It's hard to put into words the pain that rips through my being, fueled by the realization that my parents actively and will still refuse to support me financially, despite my hard-earned achievements, despite how hard I try, no matter how heavy things are for me. The wounds are fresh, and I need to pour out the raw emotions that surge within me because if I dont I WILL just fucking kms

I did everything in my power to chase my dreams. You know how I was writing about how I owe it to myself to try and to get there. Countless sleepless nights, sacrificing social outings, and pouring my heart into my studies, my preparations for interviews—all of it was for a purpose. If I can't get into med school, then there must be something more out there right? I received an admission to both Yale and Oxford, two institutions that made me realize that I have hope for greatness and that there are endless possibilities. I thought my parents would share in my joy, that they would be proud and stand by my side. But their response was cold indifference, a shrug of their shoulders as if my dreams meant nothing, a shrug of disapproval.

It cuts so deeply because I know they are more than capable of providing the support I need. It's not a matter of financial incapability; it's a blatant choice to turn their backs on me. It's an active choice. A decision. I cant even explain the pain I feel when I see them lavishing resources on frivolous endeavors while disregarding their obligation to at least fund all my aspirations. It’s a punch in the gut, it's like a reminder that my dreams are inconsequential, nothing, and shouldn't be pursued if it's not directly beneficial to them.

How can they not see the dreams burning within me? How can they dismiss my potential and the sacrifices I've made? It feels like a betrayal, a rejection of my very being. and when I poured my heart out, hoping for a even just a drop of understanding, for them to recognize the magnitude of my dreams, how much I want to pursue it, how much I am passionate about it, all I received was indifference. No actually, scratch that. Indifference with empty promises of funding me next time for other stuff - which proves my point, they can fund me, they are more than capable of doing so. They will do everything but be a parent. Fund and give everything but the things I need.

I am so frustrated, so so so infuriated with the blatant ignorance and arrogance,,,,,,, I'm overwhelmed by a sense of isolation if that even makes sense. I fucking hate seeing others being supported by their parents, celebrating their achievements together, while I stand alone, abandoned by the ones who should be my greatest champions. Lost because how come my parents dont even recognize how I never gave them a hard time even as a child. Lost because how come my parents don't seem to understand how I am actually smart. It hurts beyond measure, kinda like a pang in my throat- i bet if it was my kuya they wouldve been shouting. I bet we would be celebrating. I never even got the celebration I deserved. Sobrang foolish, sobrang lonely, imagine having to celebrate your own Yale admission by eating tuna pie because all you have is yourself.

I wish I could find peace in my determination. I wish I could just refuse to let their unwillingness define me or derail me, pero I can't help it. Especially when they've been this way since I can remember. I wish i can turnl this frustration into fuel, propelling myself forward, relying on my own strength and the support of those who understand my worth pero tangina hindi. Kasi this is more than just them financing me. What kind of child, who's born into a good, more than comfortable family, has to negotiate for a loan just to get an ounce of money to fund for her tuition? I am your child. I am your obligation. I am so tired. I wish I didn't have to seek out scholarships, work tirelessly to fund my needs, and prove to myself and to them that I am capable and that I can make it just to prove to them that I am worth investing in.

Are my dreams invalid? is my worth measurable? and is my resilience actually unmatched - or do I just have no choice but to draw strength because refusing means quitting on myself.

I wish I can draw strength from someone, even an ounce of support, an ounce of 'im proud of you,' an ounce of credit, a little validation, a little 'look how far youve come," I really wish I make it, I wish zi can forge a future where my dreams are not shackled by financial circumstances and where my potential is celebrated, cherished, and nurtured.

I hope to lige in a world where dreams are embraced and the support we need is never withheld out of indifference. I wish to be in a better family where I am celebrated. Supported. Pag ako nagkaroon ng anak, hinding hindi niya to mararanasan. Magkakaroon siyang magulang na palagi syang paniniwalaan, hinding hindi ko isusumbat kahit piso.

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callmeuberto · 2 years

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mentally tired, mentally exhausted, can’t even think properly, can’t even work well i just want to lay and stare at the ceiling, can’t even respond to anyone’s messages recently. fck dis life bruh.

i wanted to open up in this roof and some of my closest circles but i insist not to do it because everyone have their own problems to face and to fight, and i don’t want them to look after me or should i say i don’t want to add myself to their own problems. and one of my biggest fear is opening up to someone because i don’t want myself to be so-called “ma-drama/drama mo/oa mo”… again, because that gives me anxiety dude ; heartbeat just went from 100 to 0 real quick and made me want to cri and explode. if you’re not in the same page, dude pls respect tangina mo. I WOULD RATHER DIE OF LONELINESS AND ANXIETY THAN SHARE MY FEELINGS WITH SOMEONE THAT WILL INVALIDATE MY FEELINGS.

i want to take a break, leave this place (for the meantime/for good), and to find my own peace, to breathe and finally, to let this heavy feeling out, but i have this feeling that i might end myself because im in my exhausted/tired state of mind. maybe one day if i messed up a lil or stressed out a lil i might end it just right there because sometimes i can’t handle things right. i laugh a lot but deeeeeep down inside im actually drowning and dying.

i know by this point i only have myself to help, to stand, and to look forward. hopefully soon, someone can actually help me to cut this situation off.

( oo nga pala naalala ko, alo nga lang pala karamay ko sa laban na to🫠👍.)

#mentally fucked #mentally tired

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cmivr · 2 years

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[ HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE SPOILERS ]⠀hhhi i shifted to camilo's moving castle last night so that was pog have a storytime of the first day i was there <333 - @merymikey @madrigl @fgdsshgsdf @tyngluv @fluffy-the-satyr

♡⠀( i scripted that my dr would take place over the span of a few weeks rather than like a few days in the original movie- i also scripted that like,, i wouldn't remember what i scripted?? so everything would be a surprise for me in my dr, and i could act of my own accord )

♡⠀i woke up in the hat shop!! it was really cute and pretty, damn, i was also really cute and pretty JNSJNAJAN it was really cool, i could smell the smoke from the train and the fabrics and the strong ass perfume of my adoptive mom and co-workers outside,, the whole chit chatting scene from the movie happened and a few mins later i walked home

♡⠀two douches approached me and started flirting with me, i got really uncomfy, blah blah blah, then wowowjosjijwojw an arm wraps around my shoulders

♡⠀he wasn't soft-spoken like howl was in the movie 😔. was not graceful or subtle in the slightest, mf literally stumbled forward, and put almost all his weight on me, and was super fucking LOUD ANAJAN

"heyyy!! lay off on the pretty little lady guys!" the guards quirked a brow at the young man, the redhead speaking up; "who are you-" he let out a giggle "none of your business, now be on your merry way!"

♡⠀HE WAS SO PRETTY SJAAJNAAA his hair was a bit longer? he looked the same- but like,,, ugh,,, the black skinny jeans(??),, the rings,,, the tiny heart earrings,,, the really fuckin oversized white shirt JHSNDE!?!?!?!? and then i was interrupted with a "like what you see?" smh 💀👊

♡⠀the big black blob guys started chasing us and he rolled his eyes like "oh my fucking GOD it's them again, let's go" and i was just confused as fuck like TANGINA NADAMAY PA AKO?? he took me to an intersection in the alleyway, they were coming from all directions and WOOSH!!! HE TOOK ME UP INTO THE SKY AND I ALMOST CRIED

♡⠀he helped me calm down and walk in the air properly, and he was very gentle ajnsjdne he had an arm wrapped around my waist and the wind was lightly blowing through his hair ack ang pogi shet 🤤. he was like "you're doing great, good job" and my heart was going JNUHSIJIJ019u91i!(U!((!)(@!>

♡⠀and then he dropped me off in the balcony of my family's bakery / mansion,, and he gave me this BIG TOOTHY GRIN UGHFHDH AND was like

"i'll draw em off, don't worry! though you might wanna wait a little before heading back out" his thumb caressed over the back of my hand in a soothing manner "o...okay.. thank you.." "that's my girl" he flashed me a smirk, and with a swish of his cape, he was out of sight

♡⠀i just stood there for a good 2 minutes,,,, like,, crying,,,, 🤩🤩🤩

♡⠀anyways i spoke with my sister lettie and she was,, blonde,, pretty,, really neat and wearing pink poofy clothes, basically the opposite of me, but she was really nice to me!! she genuinely cared and kept fussing about the guy who walked me through the sky to my balcony, and saying like if it were camilo, i might've been dead--

♡⠀blah blah blah, we had a nice talk- i went back to my lil hat shop,, it was like 10pm by then and some LADY!?!?!? BREAKS INTO MY SHOP. i was scared. like really fuckin scared she was belittling me, insulting me, and then saying something about camilo paying her a visit and then SHE DID STH TO ME, and next thing i know she was gone and i'm an old fucking hag 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

♡⠀GUYS PLS CHERISH AND RESPECT UR GRANDPARENTS OMFG IT IS SO HARD AND SO SCARY BEING OLD JWNAJNAJA MY BACK WAS SO PAINFUL,, I WAS SO SLOW AND I FELT SO WEAK IT WAS NOT FUN AT ALL,,

♡⠀i considered like,, running away or spending the night at my shop,, but like idk how long the spell would last, i had no money, no food, i couldn't hide from them forever!! so i HAD TO WALK HOME IN A BIG ASS BLANKET TO HIDE MYSELF FROM MY FAMILY JANJANJAA IT WAS PATHETIC

♡⠀took me about an hour and a half to get back home, and by the time i was there i already like, started packing because i knew i needed to like break the curse and shit because i am an independent woman / senior citizen 💀💀💀💥 and yes i fell alseep crying bc wow lowkey traumatic shit

jnajasnjasnj do i do another part,, i don't really have too much to share from that dr since i only spent a week there so far 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

#.cmc #.🍓#shifting #reality shifting #encanto #camilo madrigal #camilo madrigal x reader #camilo my beloved #camilo x reader #camilo fluff

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tetsvhoe · 3 years

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AFRAID | HAIKYUU FILO SMAU

MASTERLIST | PREV | FIN.

#25 i almost love you

– oh ayan onting backstory chaka redemption arc kay aiko baka may maka relate

– omg finally chapter di ko na to hahabaan basta thank you so much for the support and the laughs! this was my first ever smau and series i hope you all enjoyed and i hope to see you in my future works!

– wag niyo kalimutan si anak ni imelda at anak ng mafia boss, ha? :(( <3

taglist | anitwt

@mirakeul @erinoikawa @haji-bby @seijohoe @szeonn @banananaa4 @stffychn @vvvselfindulgence @devilgirlcrybabiey @knmsapplepi @duhsies @littlemochi @mikeystomanjacket @noitsmrleorio @agasheeee @roanniee @softsakusas @your-girl-mj @hello0i @crustycookiebestie @shanthesamurai @naviation-xx @sciophobia @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa @bakugouswh0r3 @aizameow

iwaizumi shuts his phone off with a faint click, throws his head back against the headrest and shuts his eyes. he feels lightheaded, hands clam around his phone and the steering wheel subconsciously. was he always this nervous to talk to you? he can’t remember the last time he’s seen your face, the last time since he’s heard your voice. he misses it so much it makes his heart clench.

he lets out a long shaky breath as he wills himself to open his eyes, peer out the window. the club lights pulse faintly in the darkness of the night, he hears the faint music and clamor of club goers. the team’s last reply was from roughly an hour ago. he shivers thinking how he managed to cut the drive time in half and thanks the heavens for the mostly barren roads he drove through.

he can only imagine how everyone must be hammered by now. the “demonic hour” as they collectively dubbed 3:00am, is nearing. the demonic hour is when ushijima starts speaking in english considerably louder than his usual stern yet soft spoken voice. bokuto slouched against his seat, arms over his chest, passed out and snoring steadily. atsumu and sakusa may start swapping personalities soon, osamu and suna are talking about extraterrestrial life, and hinata is probably stumbling on the dancefloor holding in the urge to puke. iwaizumi also fondly recalls your friends, how kiyoko would be sleeping on top of the table, god forbid someone tries to wake her. alisa would be flirting with someone’s girlfriend, and tendou making everyone take “shots” of water, nearly falling off as he laughs at their muscle memory reactions as if they are still taking a slug of alcohol.

and of course, his mind wanders to you. how you slur your words and swear you’re not that drunk. you gauge each miniscule action and word carefully in an attempt to prove to everyone you’re sober, but it only gives you away so much more because you’re moving in x0.75 playback speed. he catches himself smiling at the mere thought and blushes though he’s alone in his car. the demonic hour turns you to an angel, quite ironically. you’re poutier than usual and throw a hissy fit at iwaizumi when he refuses to get you lugaw or mamiin the middle of the night out, not like he can resist your pleads for long anyway. you can’t keep up with the usual playful banter anymore and flirt terribly.

the thought of some other man finding you during your demonic hour flings iwaizumi out of the driver’s seat and he’s marching into the club before he knows it. it doesn’t take long for him to weave his way in and navigate your group, and the scene he finds is exactly as he imagines, but where are you?

“ten, ten, saan siya?” he shakes tendou into sobriety. he peers up at him with dazed eyes before grinning widely upon recognizing iwaizumi.

“oy, tangina mo! ano ginagawa mo dito?” the red head laughs. “‘di ko sure lumabas daw siya saglet.”

the rest of the group slowly registers iwaizumi’s presence, greeting him with clumsy high fives and fist bumps and “ba’t andito ka, kupal?”, “late na late na ba’t humabol ka pa?”, “akala namin di ka pwede ngayon?” and he returns each greeting half-heartedly as he constantly searches for your shadow in the crowd.

suna teases iwaizumi’s panicked state before pointing out you might have gone outside for a smoke. a sour feeling brews in his stomach; how could they have let you gone alone, why weren’t they sure where you went? but he saves the frustration in favor of finding you as soon as possible.

he all but runs outside through a back door near the bar which leads to a terrace overlooking the parking lot. his whole body stills as he sees your back turned to him, the heavy metal door creaks to a close, letting the loud pounding of the club music fade. he half expects to see you barely able to hold your weight with your own legs or with another guy, probably why he was so worked up in the first place, but you were alone. you seemed sober enough. it scared him even more.

as if feeling his presence, you look over your shoulder. iwaizumi debates turning on his heel and making a bee line for the exit, back to his car, and driving another hour or so to manila, but he’s frozen in his place.

you offer him a small smile, motioning for him to join you. “hayop ka anong ginagawa mo dito, ha? nag-drive ka pa, eh late na late na.”

iwaizumi is hit with the realization that in all that time he was driving alone with his thoughts, he didn’t even think of all the things he wanted to say to you. his head was simultaneously full and empty, there was just you.

“ikaw kasi kani-kanino ka nagpapa-picture. akala ko pag-papalit mo na ‘ko,” he manages to blurt out, yet you don’t miss the way his remark lacks the usual sass and playfulness.

“tama naman. ayoko na sa’yo eh,” you laugh, glancing over your shoulder to catch his scowl and an ad-libbed curse. your features soften when you notice the seriousness in his features as he stares into the nothingness ahead. you’re about to ask him if something was wrong when he sucks in a sharp breath.

“ako gusto ko sa’yo,” he says matter-of-factly, eyes meeting yours.

“what?” you laugh nervously, suddenly hyper aware of the way your heart hammers against your chest, of how you get a whiff of his usual perfume because you’re so close, the dark circles under his eyes, the distraught etched on his furrowed brows.

“i said i like you,” he repeats louder and firmer.

“i know what you said, i’m not sure i understand—”

“i like you, fuck i… i don’t know why it took me this long to say it to your face, but if i’m being honest, i was just afraid. i still am, but between being afraid of my own emotions and being afraid of fucking this up, i am actually quite fucking terrified of losing you more than anything else,” he rambles in one breath, words trembling but intense. it knocks the air out of your lungs, and you don’t know why tears start lining your eyes. “i might… even be falling in love with you fuck—”

“haji…” you whisper, body turning towards him like a magnet. he lets out a breath he didn’t know you were holding, oh how he missed you calling him that so soft and endearingly. “you have no idea how long i’ve waited for you to finally grow the balls to say that,” you chuckle, almost bitterly. “but i don’t know how to go about with this anymore.”

“let me set things right. i know we did things out of order, but i want to make us work,” he pleads, rough hands coming up to softly stroke your cheek with his knuckles.

your lips form a tight-lipped smile. he knows you’re about to ramble and finds it adorable. “i’m… i’m not so sure anymore, this is more complicated than i initially thought. w-what about the distance? haji, i’m not built for long distance i—”

iwaizumi grabs your wrist and pulls you against his chest. a strong arm wraps around your waist, his other hand holds the back of your head. you can feel both your hearts beating harshly against your chests, your cheeks heating up while you relish his embrace.

he places soft kisses onto your temple, whispering. “don’t worry that pretty little head of yours too much, there’s no rush. i’ll wait for you for as long as it takes. maghihintay ako.”

your eyes flutter open, light seeps through your vision and iwaizumi’s blurred figure slowly becomes clearer. he’s sat on an office chair, pulled right next to your bed. he watches over you with a soft smile.

“good morning, tomador.”

“tangina mong manyak, kanina mo pa ako pinapanood matulog?” you yawn, stretching your arms and limbs. did he not sleep at all? If he did, that shabby office chair couldn’t have been comfortable in the least. “akala ko ba babalik ka rin agad sa manila, akala ko umalis ka na kagabi.” you sit up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. the clock reads 6:07am.

iwaizumi tilts his head to the side as he eyes you, a small smile tugs at his lips while you glare at him. “cute mo pala pag bagong gising,” he remarks. “gusto ko lang siguraduhin natatandaan mo pa ‘yung kagabi.” he stands up, pushing the chair back and walks over to cup your cheeks.

“oo naman, tanga. ‘di naman ako lasing kagabi—”

“ano sinabi ko?”

you blink back, stunned. you know what he means, but suddenly can’t get the words out of your mouth.

“hm? akala ko ba natatandaan mo, anong sinabi ko sayo kagabi?” he smirks, squishing your cheeks together in his hand.

“uh… s-sabi mo ano, gusto mo ako.”

“gusto lang?”

“baka… sabi mo baka mahal mo na rin ako,” your ears burn up as the words leave your mouth, you attempt to look away but iwaizumi jerks your face to look at him smirking menacingly at your flushed state. “chaka ano pa?”

“sabi mo mag hihintay ka, ‘yan okay na! tangina mo,”you pry his hands off and attempt to close in on yourself by hiding behind the strands of hair that fall over your face.

“good girl,” he chuckles. “una na ‘ko, ha? tawagan nalang kita mamaya, tulog ka ulit maaga pa.”

you nod wordlessly, still avoiding his gaze. you watch his retreating figure, but he halts right in front of the door. he looks over his shoulder, “bye, i almost love you,” and winks.

summer didn’t last a hundred and four days, not this time. iwaizumi came to visit you a few times over the course of barely a month and a half of vacation. you managed to make it work for until then. he was even more busy tending to documents and requirements for his fourth year on top of helping his mom and grandmother, but he made time for you. he always did.

you both made adjustments to accommodate the distance. regular phone calls, curt text updates, movie marathons on discord, sometimes with your squammy group of friends. some things stayed the same, the regular cussing each other out, the snide remarks, the usual roasts. except this time, days end on an “i almost love you” note.

as you’re running late for your first day of third year, you realize barely anything has changed. and when you run out of the house, hopping on one foot as you tried to stuff the other into your shoe, you see iwaizumi parked outside of your house, leaning against his car, and twirling his keys on his finger, he manages to make your world come to a standstill once again.

“good morning, anak ng mafia boss. late na po tayo, bilisan mo na dyan.”

just like that, you’ve come full circle.

#haikyuu smau #haikyuu filo smau #haikyuu filo au #haikyuu college au #filo!iwaizumi #filo!iwaizumi hajime #filo haikyuu #filo iwaizumi #filo iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu filo #iwaizumi smau #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #[ archive ]

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y0shitan · 3 years

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Crispin x Reader

tw: mentions of cheating, miscarriage.

“Ayoko na, Crispin.” She uttered quietly in the dimly lit room, the same room where the two of them stay up late at night talking about the future they're planning to build. “Pagod na ako.”

Crispin could hear the hurt in her voice, but she remained strong for all that's left was her dignity and self worth. “We can fix this, diba? We can do that naman.” He knew it was a selfish thing to ask, why couldn't he just let go and move on?

Sabi nga nila there's plenty of fish in the sea.

(Y/N) shakes her head 'no', she couldn't do it anymore. She can't pretend everything's alright especially when it comes to him fooling around with someone that isn't her.

“I never once cheated on you, Cris. I never did pero ikaw? Kinaya mo. Was I not enough?” She asked loudly as she slammed her hands against his chest, tears started to prickle her eyes but she forced herself not to let a single tear drop. “Tangina mo naman, Crispin. Did everything we had was just a joke to you? I gave you everything I am and you still chose to tear me apart and now you have the nerve to ask if we can still salvage this relationship? Ang kapal ng mukha mo, gago.”

The older twin couldn't find the words to say knowing she was in the right, “I'm sorry, (Y/N)” were the only words he could offer despite knowing that a simple sorry couldn't fix their relationship. “No, you're not. You're only sorry kasi nahuli ka. Kasi mawawala yung isang bagay na gusto mo, to build a family of your own.”

Her words stung even though she merely told the truth or half of it. The short ebony haired male, the one deemed matured enough to know better seems to lack common sense.

“Kung mahal mo 'ko you wouldn't even dare go behind my back kasi alam mong pinagka tiwalan kita.” She cried out; as tears started to flow freely while she started to hit his chest. “Kung mahal mo 'ko you would have been with me when we lost the only good thing in our shitty life.”

#Yoshi Writes #trese komiks #trese netflix #trese x reader #trese kambal #trese 2021 #trese drabbles #trese imagine #trese crispin #crispin x reader #nagtry lang ako sorry na #wag niyo ko sugurin godbless

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the-currian · 3 years

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T7!

lmao this entire fic is full of inside jokes. originally made for the Filo A3!/Genshin discord I’m a part of as part of the server bang. it’s already been uploaded there, so i decided to fix it up a bit and upload it here as well^^

i may not be active anymore in the server; i’m more of a lurker now, but i’d like to dedicate this to the server members. you guys gave me lots of good times and things to smile about & look forward to during a time when i was trying to pick myself up. thank you <3

One event that Izumi brushes off as the daily shenanigans that come along with being the director of the Mankai Company has a bigger impact on her actors than she thought.

or:

The director is clueless to the thirst/advances of the company. The troupes struggle. The director remains oblivious.

It all started with a towel.

Living in a dorm along with over twenty young men, surely there would be no shortage of needs for day-to-day life… or so Izumi thought. Staring at her reflection in the bathroom’s mirror has made her realize that perhaps she’d overestimated the dorm’s supplies.

‘Maybe if I’m quiet enough, no one will notice me sneaking back to my room.’ She thinks to herself in dismay, tugging at the bath towel that just barely covered the more…indecent parts of her body.

‘It’s just my luck that my bathroom sprung a leak.’

Thus, Izumi was forced to use one of the communal bathrooms shared by the actors. Of course, she’d made it abundantly clear that no one was allowed to go in while she made use of the actors’ facilities (Izumi’s also fairly sure that Sakyo had stressed that no one was allowed even remotely near the communal bathroom while she were there) but the thought of walking back to her room with nothing but a towel on made her anxiety skyrocket.

‘I should’ve just waited for my own shower to be fixed.’

Being too used to having her own private bathroom, Izumi had developed the habit of only grabbing a towel from a cabinet before heading off into the showers since it’s directly connected to her room. Why bother bringing new clothes into the bathroom and risk getting them wet when she could just change in her own bedroom?

Obviously that logic was null in this scenario – what with the trek she now has to make back to her room from the communal showers, and only in a towel! Moreover, the towel was obviously intended for only covering the lower half of men, if the short length was anything to go by.

Mulling it over, Izumi weighs the pros and cons of walking through the dorm’s corridors in only a towel to shield herself, then allows herself a few minutes to sulk over the decision made. Taking a deep breath, Izumi steels herself before slowly creaking open the bathroom door, peeking for any bystanders. Seeing none, she carefully tiptoes back to her room.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

As she makes her way through, Izumi feel like every step echoes throughout the halls and she instinctively tightens her grip on the towel, desperately trying to draw it tighter and more securely around her. Thankfully, Izumi is able to make it to her room without incident – she really needs to thank Sakyo for clearing the area later – when suddenly, as her room is less than a meter away, a shadow darts into her field of vision.

Already tense and on edge from the situation she found herself in, Izumi lets out an ear-splitting shriek and all hell breaks loose.

Footsteps come thundering her way and Izumi’s brain short-circuits as the whole company suddenly appears in the corridors, all of them calling out “director” or various other namesakes in worried tones.

Izumi struggles to form a coherent sentence to tell them that she’s fine and for all of them to stay the hell away please and thank you, when the shadow from earlier who she now identifies as Misumi in the middle of a triangle hunt cheerfully calls out,

“Oh, director! Did you have a nice bath?”

The corridor goes eerily quiet, and Izumi feel several pairs of eyes focused on her state of dress – or lack thereof, rather.

Masumi and several other of the younger members faint almost instantly. Most of the adults’ faces flush bright red as they stammer out apologies, while some others politely avert their eyes.

One thing is for certain.

The entire company is suddenly reminded that their director is in fact a very attractive, very single, woman.

As all the men seem to be distracted by their own mental turmoil, Izumi takes the opportunity to slip into her room. After making sure the door is securely locked, she deflates and slides down against the door. The shuffling of footsteps fades away, signaling the company members’ retreat, and Izumi’s mind takes its sweet time to process what just occurred.

Once again, the Mankai dorms are filled with Izumi’s ear-splitting shriek, only this time the members are wise enough to leave her be.

By dinnertime, Izumi figures she’s calmed down enough to let bygones be bygones.

“Thanks for the food!” she forces herself to say in a cheery manner, tight-lipped smile giving her away.

She’s honestly still feeling a bit apprehensive by the stares she receives over the dining table, but her actors fall back into an easy conversation. Izumi, on the other hand, finds herself half-heartedly poking the eggplant tempura that she normally eats with gusto as a side dish to her beloved curry. Something about the atmosphere makes her feel uneasy as if there’s some sort of unspoken tension that everyone but she has figured out.

Again, Izumi feels everyone’s eyes on her as she abruptly stands up. In her haste, the chair screeches against the floor and her tableware clatters noisily, making herself the unwanted center of attention.

“I…I’m not feeling that hungry tonight.” Izumi mutters, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. Mustering up the last of her dignity, Izumi shuffles out of the room and goes straight to her bedroom, making sure the door locks.

Unbeknownst to her, mere minutes after she’d cleared the vicinity, Sakyo abruptly calls for an all-troupes-on-deck meeting. After clearing the dining area, the large group of young men make their way over to the living room and try their best to get comfortable amongst one another, the room suddenly feeling very cramped with everyone in the room at the same time.

In front of them all, the only one standing, Sakyo paces back and forth as he strategizes the best course of action to approach the situation. He comes to a sudden halt and the group’s attention is immediately focused on Sakyo, with the younger ones’ backs stiffening as they straighten up in an unconscious sign of deference.

“We do not speak of the incident that happened earlier this morning.” Sakyo’s voice comes out quietly but threateningly as he levels a glare at each and every occupant of the room. “We make the director feel as safe as possible in our presence. Got it?”

Not bothering to wait for a response, Sakyo stalks out of the room. Slowly, the actors disperse and go about their usual nightly activities, but fuelled by the reminder of the spectacle that had occurred that morning gave them some other plans in mind.

“Tangina mo, Banri.” Itaru swears under his breath as his character is suddenly left for dead in the middle of a space station. The culprit was none other than Banri, who had Itaru and the other players in the server fooled.

“What was that, Chigasaki?” Chikage questions with mild interest from his side of the room.

Itaru takes out his phone and opens up another game to play as he waits for Banri to inevitably win as the impostor in the game.

“Playing a game with some strangers online. Picked up some lingo from these Filo players that Banri and I happen to clash against a lot.” Itaru elaborates with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

“Hm. I do wonder how you or Settsu intend to win the director over when all you do is mess around in those games of yours.”

Itaru’s fingers hover over his phone screen for a split second as he processes the older man’s words.

“…Excuse me?”

“You are aware of what the... ah, towel incident this morning has caused, aren’t you?”

“Sakyo already told us to not bring it up.” Itaru says calmly, but Chikage notices his roommate’s ears redden at the reminder, and is pleased to see that his goading has its intended effect.

“Of course.” Chikage concedes. “However, the younger members of the troupe can be quite rash.”

Itaru lightly drops his phone onto his desk and runs his fingers through his hair as he grudgingly turns to his roommate. Itaru hastily ties his bangs away from his face and levels what he hopes is a neutral stare at Chikage.

“Not my job to keep the kids’ thirsting under control.” He says, then turns back to face his monitor.

“I suppose…”

With that, Itaru starts playing his game again as the subject matter is dropped.

“But perhaps it’s not the kids you should be worrying about.”

…or so he thought.

Again, Itaru takes the bait and bites out, “What exactly are you trying to say, senpai?”

Chikage changes his expression into one of feigned innocence. “Nothing, really. Ah, I do hope you don’t mind having curry for lunch tomorrow. The director and I will be cooking together all morning.”

Itaru is about to stand up and retort, fed up with Chikage’s subtle remarks, when a loud noise blares from Itaru’s computer, causing him to curse and swiftly turn back to his screen. “Shit, you’re distracting me from my game. Do me a favor and go back to being the absentee roommate for a while.”

With an amused chuckle, Chikage acquiesces to his roommate’s request and heads out, closing the door behind him.

Itaru slumps back against his chair as soon as the older man is gone and puts on his headset. Taking a quick glance back before clicking it on, he speaks in a low voice,

“Hey, director, sorry for muting my mici. Let’s get back to the game, shall we?”

The next morning, Chikage walks into the kitchen with a special bag of spices in hand. However, seeing another member of the company already in the kitchen with the director has him narrowing his eyes and his mouth curving down in displeasure.

“So first we have to roast the eggplant before we dip it in the egg?” Izumi asks her companion.

Chikage takes in the sight of Omi leaning in quite close behind the director with the excuse of supervising her work, and a twinge of annoyance bothers him.

“That’s right.” Omi confirms, drawing even closer to Izumi as he points to the long, purple fruit. “But before that, we peel the skin off after it’s done roasting.”

The tall college student is practically caging Izumi as both hands reach from either side of her to demonstrate how to peel the eggplant. At this, Chikage decides to make his presence known.

“I was under the impression that it would only be the two of us making lunch, director.” he butts in, frown replaced with a sharp smile.

“Oh, Chikage!” Izumi calls out as she casually slips out of Omi’s arms, oblivious to the pout on Omi’s face as she does so. “Don’t worry! We’re still making curry for lunch. It’s just that Tasuku got a bunch of eggplants from helping out at a farm, so we’ve been trying to figure out different ways to cook them. I believe this dish is called tortang talong? Anyway, Omi insisted that he help me out with lunch today! I hope you don’t mind.”

“Yes, I hope you don’t mind the intrusion, Chikage.” Omi echoes, looking completely unapologetic as he says so.

Not one to back down, Chikage completely ignores the younger man’s backhanded apology and instead turns his attention to the director.

“Here.” he says, holding the bag of spices out to Izumi. As she takes the bag from Chikage, his hands linger on hers for much longer than strictly necessary, causing her grip on the bag to fumble. A blush quickly creeps onto Izumi’s face.

“Th-thanks.” She stammers, hastily pulling her hands back as soon as she’s gotten a firm hold on the bag of spices.

The three adults cook in the kitchen with an awkward silence that Izumi just can’t figure out the root of. An unspoken tension looms over and she can’t bring herself to speak up. Lost in her thoughts, Izumi picks up a roasted eggplant then yelps at the heat of the newly roasted fruit, burning herself. Before Izumi can act, Omi grasps her wrist, inspecting her hand.

“Be careful, alright?” he says gently, guiding Izumi over to the sink and sticking her hand under the running faucet.

Izumi involuntarily shivers, and she’s not so sure if it’s because of the temperature of the cold water or if it’s because of the tender way that Omi handles her.

“Let Omi and I take care of the rest, director.” Chikage’s voice comes out harshly, snapping Izumi out of her thoughts. He hands her an ice pack and she takes it with a grateful smile.

“That’s probably for the best.” Izumi agrees, then turns off the faucet. As she leaves the kitchen and heads over to the living room, Izumi can feel the tension from earlier return tenfold and quickly hightails it out of there, deciding that she didn’t want to know, nor did she want to get caught up in the crossfire.

“So it’s curry again today, huh.” Tenma says dejectedly as he settles at the dining table.

Most of the other company members mumble the same sentiment but ultimately sit down.

Citron’s eyes light up as he spots the other food dish on the table. “Not to worry, everyone! It appears we are also having Tasuku’s eggplant for lunch!”

Several of the actors give Citron a blank stare.

“Somehow, that just doesn’t sound right.” Taichi says, and Juza nods in agreement.

“Oh, director! What happened to your hand?” Tsumugi blurts out, immediately picking up on the strange way Izumi held her chopsticks.

Izumi blanches and reflexively cradles her hand to her chest, closing herself off from the young men to spare them from worry. “It’s nothi–“

“Izumi accidentally burned herself while preparing lunch.” Chikage immediately speaks over her.

“Uwah!” Muku cries out. “Director, you shouldn’t be using your hand, then! You might irritate the wound and then it might get worse and then you’ll have to retire from being director because your–“

“Hey, hey, chillax!” Kazunari reins in Muku before he can start spiralling into catastrophizing Izumi’s minor dilemma. “The solution is obvious, Mukkun! All I have to do is feed Izumi her lunch! Her dinner, too, probs!”

“If anyone is feeding the director, it’s gonna be me.” Masumi asserts.

“Now hold on a minute. “ Izumi begins to protest.

“Fufufu~ How about it, director?” Azuma says, offering his own eggplant to Izumi with his chopsticks.

The dining room is quickly filled with the clamor of various members insisting that they be the one to feed the director her lunch.

“Boys, settle down!” Izumi yells over the cacophony of voices. At the authority in her tone, the young men back down and turn their attention to Izumi. “No one is going to be feeding me my lunch but myself.”

“But director, I must insist that we protect your hand from–“ Homare insists, then cuts himself off as he shrinks back from Izumi’s intense glare.

“I’ll just eat with my other hand using a fork.” She says before turning to Sakyo. “Sakyo, if you’d be so kind, could you cut my food into smaller pieces for me?”

“What a kid.” He grouses, but obliges to Izumi’s request, a triumphant glow in his eyes as he challengingly looks at the other members who are about to protest.

With the problem solved and the members (relatively) under control, lunch proceeds as normal – well, as normal as possible – for the Mankai Company.

“I’m really sorry to bother you two like this.” Izumi addresses the two men in her room later that afternoon. “I know I should probably get a professional to do this, but I just don’t want a repeat of yesterday happening anytime soon.”

All three occupants of the room’s faces heat up at the reminder.

“It’s fine.” Tasuku mumbles, determinedly looking at anywhere but Izumi.

“Right!” Tsuzuru chimes in, eyebrow twitching in betrayal of his true emotions. “Since Tasuku and I are both used to doing odd jobs, this’ll be a cinch.”

“Alright, then.” Izumi says, then opens the door to her bathroom, ushering the two young men inside. Tasuku and Tsuzuru take wary steps, toolboxes in hand, feeling a bit apprehensive about invading Izumi’s private space.

“Go ahead.” Izumi encourages, noticing their stiff posture. “I have nothing to hide! No dead bodies or horses or any other weird things like that.” She jokes, hoping to lighten up the atmosphere.

Neither of the actors deign to give her a response, and instead set down their toolboxes, pulling out wrenches, screwdrivers, flashlights, and the like to figure out and solve the leakage.

Izumi silently watches as the two men deftly handle the tools. She finds herself entranced by the way their arms slightly flex while their fingers nimbly maneuver their tools as they tinker away at her shower.

Realizing her train of thought, Izumi lightly slaps her cheeks as she feels a blush rising to her face.

‘Get a hold of yourself! They’re just here to fix your shower–‘

Izumi’s mind comes to a screeching halt as Tasuku lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe some sweat off of his brow, unknowingly (?) allowing her to catch a glimpse of his abs. Similarly affected by the heat as they work, Tsuzuru rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, showing off his lean arm muscles along with the veins that slightly protrude from his forearms as they flex whilst working.

“I-I’ll leave you to it, then!” Izumi barely manages to squeak out, face glowing bright red, before fleeing the bathroom.

Tasuku and Tsuzuru spare a quick glance back at her retreating figure before going back to work, identical smirks on their smug faces.

Later that evening, Izumi’s shower is fixed without incident and she’s ready to relax after all the shenanigans of the day.

‘Nothing like a hot shower to wash the stress away before going to bed.’

This time, she makes sure to check the towel’s length, ensuring it’s long enough to cover all the important bits. After a few seconds of contemplation, she also grabs a bathrobe.

‘Just in case…’

Izumi lazily undresses herself before settling under the stream of warm, steaming water. A satisfied mewl escapes her lips as she feels herself unwind, her body relaxing in the warmth of the shower.

She allows herself a few minutes of comfortable silence in the shower before grabbing her shampoo to start lathering when the water suddenly turns ice cold. Her eyes widen at the sensation as she instinctively jumps away and lets out a screech.

Within seconds, the actors’ footsteps thunder down the corridor over to Izumi’s room. A sense of déjà vu comes over her as she hears several shouts of, “Director, are you okay?!” and “What’s going on?!”, coupled with loud banging on her (thankfully) locked door.

Izumi lets out an exasperated groan.

‘I knew I should’ve just gotten a professional to fix the shower.’

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! act addict actors #A3! Actor Training Game #a3game #a3! scenarios #a3 #a3 act addict actors #a3 actor training game

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from-a-reckless-writer · 3 years

Text

wrote a thing.

She is sitting behind you; back propped up against the harsh cement wall the double-deck is pushed against. She isn’t wearing her shirt, merely draped it over her frame. She is like this with you. Always partially naked, almost always bare but never completely. A sleeping short but no bra, there; grinding on your thigh with only a tank top and no underwear, here; and now, chest bare with only a shirt draped over.

You hear rustling and you know she is reaching for the pack of cigarettes and lighter on the head of the bed.

You are proven right.

You hear the flicker of the flames and the string of cigarette smoke climbs into your nostrils. You lace your shoes first before even wearing a bra. The first time you did this in front of her she laughed at you.

Shoes first before a bra? If you hadn’t just fucked my brains out I’d have half a mind to call you a psychopath.

She always smokes the same brand of cigarette. The ones whose sticks are black, as if a premonition of the blackening of her lungs if she keeps at it. It is always the one with the menthol aftertaste.

“Do you always have to have cigarettes after sex?”

“They're called stimulants for good reason you know? And besides…”

She trails off and it irritates you, because her trailing off means that she knows you’re thinking the same thing; implies that with you, she doesn’t feel the need to finish her words out loud because she is all too aware that you have already finished the sentence in your head.

It is most irksome.

“Besides what?” You spit out, even though you already know the answer; even though you know that she knows you know.

“Besides,” she drawls, and even with your back to her, you know there is a puff of smoke around that one word.

“You like the taste.”

You feel liquid fire running in your veins. Of course, that’s what she would say. That’s what you were thinking of, wasn’t it?

“They’re bad for you.”

You hook the clasps of your bra together.

“Mm. Like how I’m bad for you?”

“Fuck you.”

“You just did, baby.”

******

There is no love there, you think as you wait for a cab below her apartment.

Above, you know she is listening to the trashy music you know she doesn’t really like but always listens to. You hate that you don’t know the reason why she does this. You hate that she always seems to know more about you, than you about her.

You imagine what she does when she’s alone in her apartment.

In that cramped space of a studio apartment, where the kitchen faces the door of the bathroom and the bedroom is three steps away from said kitchen. The one place you’re sure would always be burned to the back of your lids till the day you die.

It’s yellow walls eternally living in the gray matter of your brain. It has embedded itself there, along with the image of her spread open for you each time and every time.

You raise your hand to hail a cab. A car stops in front of you, you look up one last time.

There’s the silhouette of a woman behind the curtains.

You leave.

******

The city rolls past your windows. Manila in the middle of the night feels like a neon lucid dream. Well, it is, if you look past the homeless children in the streets and the rows of carton boxes inhabited by cold bodies on the sidewalk.

You think about her and how cold the metal frame of a double-deck feels at night. You never ask about the person who used to occupy the top part of the deck. You don’t ask about how there is a whole drawer of clothes that she doesn’t touch.

You don’t ask and she doesn’t answer.

It’s always been like that between you, hasn’t it? An eye for an eye. A tit for tat. What you give is what you get.

The entire taxi smells like orange Lysol and you suppress a gag reflex. It gives you a headache. But the pain of it is nothing compared to the chasm inside your chest.

It’s been getting bigger and bigger, wider and wider, you notice. The gap always increases whenever you decide to lace your shoes and hail a cab.

You ignore it.

******

She doesn’t call you, the next Friday.

It’s not the first time she failed to call. Often, it’s a work thing or a university thing...or both.

She’ll call the next evening; always eager to fuck off the stress the prior day has inevitably brought.

She wouldn’t even bother with foreplay on days like those. It’s fine by you. You’re more than happy to get down and get to work.

You’ve always been an efficient employee after all.

Because that’s it, isn’t it? This is just a contract between the two of you. If you need an itch scratched, you'll dial the familiar number and she'll show up on your doorstep and the next minute her hands would be down your pants and vice versa.

It works. It’s fine.

But then, she doesn’t call.

Not during that Friday night and not during the next evening and before you know it, a whole weekend passes by.

You find your hand on her doorknob on Monday morning.

******

She slams the door in your face the moment she realizes you’re behind it.

You pound your fist on the locked door three times, twist the knob roughly for good measure.

“Tangina, just let me in.”

You hate how fucking needy you sound.

******

You wake up falling backwards, the back of your head hitting the bone of her legs painfully.

“Aw. Pucha, what the-”

You look up and there she is, looking down on you and then she is muttering under her breath.

“Idiot. Who fucking waits outside somebody’s door?”

You scramble to your feet.

You embrace her. Tightly. It surprises you both. You hear the breath get whooshed out of her lungs.

You feel her stop fighting against the hug. She turns soft. She sobs.

You let your shirt get soaked.

******

You don’t fuck that night.

You hold her instead.

******

You feel nauseous on the ride home again but this time you know it isn’t because of some cheap air freshener.

There is something different churning in your gut. It makes you want to throw up. It’s got to do with the ever widening chasm in your chest and the woman in the studio flat, you think.

No, you don’t think. You know.

You elect to ignore it again.

******

There is a man with his arm around you when you run into each other in the LRT. In the distance you can hear the whistle of a security guard. You can feel the rumble of the oncoming train underneath your feet. Somebody says, Please observe the following for your safety and protection while inside the station...Thank you for patronizing the LRT.

You watch in real time how a nebula dies.

The light bursting, exploding and then blinking out of existence all in the same breath.

“Nice to meet you.”

She extends a hand to the man beside you.

You try not to think about the fact that that same hand had trailed up and down your body not only two nights ago, how those fingers had mapped out every single scar down the back of your thighs, how that hand had cradled your face so softly before even softer lips descended on your own.

“Well, I should probably get going. I’ll let you go now.”

The five words grate against your veins like broken glass atop cement walls grazing trespassing robbers.

You try to crane your neck to follow her disappearing figure.

His arm gets in the way.

******

She doesn’t answer your Friday night call.

And the Saturday morning call.

And the Saturday afternoon call and the evening call.

And the Sunday morning call and the afternoon call and the evening call.

Once again, you find your back against her door on a Monday.

******

She finds you there; sitting stupidly, head thumping repeatedly against the wood.

You scramble to stand up so quickly you almost trip over your own feet.

“Hi.“

—is the most stupid thing to say in the history of stupid things to say.

“You didn’t answer my calls,” you’re quick to add.

“No answer is an answer.”

She jams her keys into the door.

“Yeah, I figured.”

You twiddle your thumbs, eyes cast to the floor.

She opens the door. You follow, naturally.

She takes off her shirt.

“W-what are you doing?”

“Well, isn’t this what you came for? Let’s get it done and over with. The sooner the better, I have an essay deadline tonight.”

“No, I-”

“You what?”

You stare stupidly, mouth closing and opening like a fish, with no words coming out.

“Ano?” She demands, “Wala? Well, if you’re not gonna fuck me I suggest you get out and stop wasting my time. Like I said, I have a deadline tonight.”

You can take the dismissal for what it is.

Or...

You can fight back.

You can call her out on her bullshit.

You can apologize for your stupidity.

You can-

You rush towards her and smash your mouths together harshly.

You make her cum three times that night, her letting out your name in breathy whimpers.

It doesn’t feel satisfying. It just leaves you feeling empty.

She doesn’t smoke after, this time. She just gets out of your arms, pulls out a chair, a charger and her laptop.

She gets to work.

You dress yourself. Shoes first, then bra.

“I’m sorry.”

******

You stop hearing from her.

You know better than to call her non-stop.

No answer is an answer.

******

The apartment is empty when you get there.

The landlord says it’s been empty for two weeks now.

She didn’t leave her future destination nor her new address nor her new number.

She didn’t leave anything behind.

Well, except maybe for…you.

#this isnt supercorp so pls just scroll past #because sometimes u just gotta write the most cliche thing to write about and get it out of ur system

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heyifyouseekae · 3 years

Text

Oh, you were a good dream.

Madalas talaga risky ang mga message na matatanggap mo kapag 2am na. Sabi nga ni Ted Mosby, nothing good happens after 2am. But last night was an exception because it was from someone na minahal ko ng sobra noon. Dating bestfriend na minahal at naging simula ng pattern ko sa lovelife. :D That thread gave me so much feeling to remember and it gave us both freedom. It was YOU. The cards were right. There’s a person who’s trying to reach out to me for a very long time but pinipigilan sya ng mga sarili nyang force. I was totally thinking of a different person, but it was you, Em. I’m glad that it’s you.

Ang daming revelation from you tonight & you’ve been keeping those things for 8...9..10 years? Habang sinusulat ko ‘to pinapakinggan ko yung Lifetime ng Ben&Ben. Tangina, alam mo bang ibang tao ang inalayan ko ng kantang ‘yan only to realize that it suits us more?

“I was scared to lose you then But secrets turn into regrets Buried feelings grow Oh, you were a good dream Was there a lifetime waiting for us In a world where I was yours? Was it the wrong time, what if we tried Giving in a little more? To the warmth we had before

Tangled with another's eyes Never mind, you were never mine Glimpse of me and you”

Tonight, you finally told me that you did love me when we were younger. That all this time you kept me there with the love and hate. Grabe ‘no? I was focused sa heartbreak na naranasan ko dahil sa friendzoned moment ko with you but look at you telling me the same thing. Hahaha! Nakakatawa talaga ang tadhana, puta. Ang tagal mong tinago ‘yan, tangina. Namamangha ako sa totoo lang. Akala ko talaga one-sided yung relationship/friendship na ‘yon, ang selfish ko pala all those times? Oh well, I guess I really live by my principle na don’t assume unless stated. Kasi naman! You kept on reminding me na bawal tayo mainlove sa isa’t-isa and all those bff bullshit rules, hahahaha! Clown ka rin pala. But you made me happy, alam mo ba ‘yon? Even in 2019 when you greeted me on my birthday kahit HBD lang ‘yon, I remembered writing something here to express how happy I was that moment. And tonight, you told me...you’ve always remembered.

Nilet go talaga kita nung nagkaboyfriend ako, but I guess I took some parts of you all these years. It gave me realization why I want to date engineers and why I want smart guys and how I easily get attached when a guy sings to me, I guess those attributes came from you and they remind me of you. Kraaazzyy! Now, you are letting go of me. I’m so happy for that.

The questions I buried a long time ago got their justice tonight and so was the pain that you were feeling all those times, finally laid to rest. The pain that I was so clueless about, those feelings you kept in for a very long time had their way out tonight and I couldn’t be happier to read these things. One of the reasons I’m keeping it here is to remind me of how I should view myself in the eyes of those people showing what they really feel towards me but can’t verbalize them. I want these screenshots to remind me that I, too, can cause pain to others and I need to be ready for those moments.

You brought back the memories I kept hidden for a decade. I didn’t realize that they will be dug out tonight. Happy Halloween, indeed! Hahaha. Bwisit na ‘to. But I’m so happy to know all these things now & how we can’t do anything about it anymore since you’re already settled & I have my own life too now. I’m happy that you and Odyz ended up together, I truly am.

Finally, you can look at me when we see each other on the street and you can smile back at me without pretending you didn’t see me. I’m sorry for causing you that pain, thank you for all the memories and influence you gave in my life after all these years, and I will always treasure the good and the bad that we had. Cheers to the frustrations we had tonight and to setting ourselves free! I will see you soon. Magkakape tayo kahit saan mo gusto. Namiss din kita! ☺️

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xllxxrbxg · 3 years

Text

so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

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drabblesbydobi · 3 years

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Hyunsuk went down on the architectural department awhile to ask the team leaders about the progress of their ongoing projects. Well he can just tell them to go into his office but he wants to check on his wife and see if she's doing fine.

"Goodmorning, Sir!" the employees stood up greeted him as he entered the department. Tin also did the same as if he is not her husband.

While one of the team leader is discussing his plans on the project, he slightly peaked at Celestine. She's wearing a white fitted turtle neck and a black pencil skirt. He's lowkey checking her out since she doesn't even look stressed while working compared to the other employees. He smiled knowing that his wife is one of the best architects in his company.

His thoughts got distracted when he saw one of the employee casually looking at Celestine instead of working.

"Sir hindi niyo po ba gusto yung idea?" The team leader asked since his forehead suddenly creased.

"Ah no, I like the idea. Send me the file of the the whole plan" He said to dismiss the employee in front of him.

Hyunsuk stood there for awhile and saw the guy still looking at his wife. He wants to walk towards her and kiss her in front of that guy but he just dismissed his thoughts and went back to his office.

He's currently reading the project plan sent to him but he just can't process everything so he texted her to come up to his office.

"Pasok" Hyunsuk said when he heard a knock on his door. Tin has the rights to just barge into his office anytime without knocking but she still treat him as a boss when they're in the company.

She opened the door and peaked first to ask him what's up but he just stared at her so she decided to enter the room already. She doesn't have any idea why he called her and as far as she know she didn't do anything wrong and she's not even a team leader.

"Why did you call me?" She asked and she stood up in front of his desk.

Instead of answering, he tapped his desk as a signal for her to sit there.

"Mahal?"

She looks so confused and cannot think of a reason why Hyunsuk is suddenly acting like this.

"Just come here" He said and looked at her seriously.

She sat down on his desk and as she was about to cross her legs, Hyunsuk held her thighs and stood in front of her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck while examining his face, "You look mad. Why?" She asked and pouted.

He didn't talk and just kissed her lips. She kissed him back but the thought of someone might barged into his office bothers her.

"Mahal, wait" She pulled away from him and place her hand on his chest. "Baka may pumasok"

Instead of locking the door, he pressed the intercom to talk to his secretary,

"Don't let anyone come in. I'm having a serious talk with my wife"

"Noted, Sir"

Hyunsuk kissed her again and wrapped her legs around his waist. He lightly gripped her thighs which caused her to moan.

"Mahal" She called him when he let go of her lips and kissed her on the side of her ears instead.

"What happened?" She asked and as much as she want to continue what they're doing, she wants to know first the reason why he's acting like this.

"Answer me or aalis ako dito ngayon" she said with authority since he's still not talking to her.

Hyunsuk groaned and stopped kissing her. He hugged her waist and placed his chin on her shoulder before answering, "Naiinis lang ako kasi nakatitig sayo yung isang architect kanina"

She laughed and pushed him away from her. She went down on his desk and walked slightly away from him. Tin started posing and even did a catwalk in front of him.

"Duh mahal ang ganda ko kaya, who wouldn't look? I mean, look at me" She said and pointed her face and her body.

Hyunsuk looks so amused while watching his wife flex her physique. He really loves her confidence. Well, as she should. He knows he's one hell of a lucky man.

Tin walked towards him and wrapped her arms on his waist, "Mahal don't be jealous. May anak na nga tayo oh. Tingin lang naman kaya nilang gawin" She said and kissed him on the cheek but sneaky Hyunsuk followed her lips and lifted her again on his desk.

She pulled away from their kiss and started kissing his neck. Tin likes placing small hickeys on him which he clearly don't mind. She owns him after all.

He lifted her top together with her brassiere to reveal her breast. Her hand automatically gripped his hair when he took one of her mounds inside his mouth. She's getting loud as the time goes by so he covered her mouth with his hand while he's still busy with her breasts.

She guided his face up to kiss him while Hyunsuk lifted her skirt up. He traced her folds slowly which made her moan loudly. "Quiet, mahal" he said before kissing her again to drown out her moans. He wouldn't mind if people from the outside will hear her but he's worried she might get embarassed. He knows Tin can't really control her moans so he placed a handkerchief on her mouth for her to gag on.

He sat down and pulled her thights towards his face. He removed her underwear and stared at her folds for a moment to admire his view. Tin got shy and as she was about to cover it, he grabbed her arms and pinned it on her sides.

He held her thigh as he started kissing her folds. She can't help but threw her head back and grip his hair hardly. Thankfully Hyunsuk placed a handkerchief on her mouth since she knows she cannot control her moans right now.

She looked down and almost gasped when she saw him staring at her while he's eating her out. He saw how disheveled she is right now and he wants to see more so he inserted a finger on her core as he lap her juices away. Tin almost screamed when he added another finger inside her. She don't know what to do anymore or where to place her hand. It feels so good she started tearing up.

Tin got quiet which is a sign that she's already close. He already knows her habits when they're doing it. It means she's already overwhelmed with what she's feeling that she cannot find her voice anymore. He removed his fingers and sucked her core. He felt her body vibrate and licked all of her juices.

Hyunsuk stood up to hug her and waited for her to catch her breath. "I love you" he whispered on her ear and stroked her back to calm her down.

"love you" she said in a low voice. She was about to bury her face on his neck but she saw some of her extra juices on the side of his lips which made her laugh. She took a tissue and cleaned up his face.

He cleaned her up down there and helped her put back her underwear.

"Pero mahal" she protested when he's putting back her underwear and looked at him knowingly.

"No, its fine" He smiled and gave her a peck.

"Eh pano ka?" She looked at him worriedly.

"Let's just continue this later at home" He winked at her and kissed her again.

Things were about to get heated again when the intercom suddenly beeped and he pressed it without even breaking their kiss

"Sir andito po yung kaibigan niyo, si Sir Jihoon po"

The two of them laughed when they heard Jihoon's name.

"Let him in" Celestine told Hyunsuk's secretary.

Jihoon entered and he saw Tin sitting at Hyunsuk's desk and of course, he already understand what just happened.

"Tangina niyong dalawa. Tanghaling tapat!" He shouted at them and the couple just laughed at him.

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wickedbarnes · 4 years

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Culture Shock | Keanu Reeves x Reader

Prompt: You're Filipino and it's been a while since you had eaten some good ol' rice with your hands. However, your boyfriend, Keanu has never seen you eat this way before.

Note: I thought this was fun to write and I always wanted to write something like this and considering I'm Filipino myself, I wanted to share some of my culture with you guys.

WARNING: None. Just fluff.

You sighed once you saw the clock on your bedside table. It was only 8 AM. You looked down at the heavy arm that was draped over your body as Keanu's breath slightly tickled your neck. You felt bad for leaving the bed but you had no choice considering at how loud your stomach has been rumbling. You were really hungry. As quiet as a mouse, you gently lifted Keanu's arm off you while you carefully slipped out of bed, causing him to groan and turn his body to the other side.

Letting out a breath, you tied your hair up in a bun and quietly tiptoed your way out of the bedroom where you proceeded to make your way to the bathroom to wash your face.

Keanu had stayed the night at your house after he finally got some free time from filming. He was incredibly tired and you were more than happy for him to stay the night. Making your way out of the bathroom, you went downstairs and immediately rummaged through the kitchen on what to eat.

You weren't in the mood for pancakes, waffles, eggs and bacon or any of the American style breakfast. Almost immediately, an idea popped in your head and you began to prepare some rice. Washing it and eventually cooked it in your trusty rice cooker.

It had been a while since you had some rice for breakfast and you really missed it. It somehow put a smile on your face since it really reminded you of home. You're Filipino and proud to be. When you first met Keanu he was so interested on learning about your culture and you were more than happy to enlighten him. There were times he'd hear you speak in Tagalog and sometimes curse in your mother tongue as well. Which he found amusing.

After a few minutes, you heard the familiar click of the rice cooker, indicating it was already cooked but you indulged yourself by cooking some chicken breasts and Keanu's breakfast. Which consisted of eggs, bacon and some french toast. Once everything was done, you set everything down on the table and immediately washed your hands thoroughly before sitting down on your chair.

"Hay, salamat sa Diyos. [Oh, thank God.]" You sighed in relief and began to dig into your food. You used your left hand for eating while the right one was used if to grab your glass of mango juice.

You carefully took a small chunk of chicken breast and put it on top of the rice. Then, you gathered just the right amount of it with your fingers, shaping it around the rice and the chicken before you lifted your hand up to your lips and pushed the food inside your mouth using your thumb.

It was just like the good ol' days. You were so indulged with how you ate that you didn't hear Keanu going downstairs until he cleared his throat, looking at you with an amused yet confused look in his face.

You jumped in your seat and put a hand over your chest in surprise.

"Tangina, ginulat mo ko. [Fuck, you scared me.]" You said and gave Keanu a little glare to which he chuckled and sat down across you. He didn't quite understand some of the words you said but he was picking up some key words and understood those.

"I'm sorry, baby. I woke up and you weren't in bed anymore so I came down and... saw you eating." Keanu pointed over to your food by pouting his lips to it which he kinda got from you considering you'd often point to things using your lips.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that, baby. I woke up and I was really hungry so I made breakfast." You explained, "I made you some toast, eggs and bacon. You know, the usual."

Keanu smiled softly and nodded at you but he didn't quite get up from his seat to get his own plate. Instead, he stayed there and watched you eat.

"What is it, honey?" You asked, taking another small chunk of your chicken.

"You're eating chicken and rice in the morning?" Keanu asked confusingly and you giggled at his expression. You knew this would be a little weird for him.

"Yep! In the Philippines, we always eat rice. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And often times we eat with our hands. Of course, we wash our hands first before we handle the food." You smiled and gathered a decent amount of rice with your fingers as you watched Keanu staring at your hands as if he was trying to learn how to eat with his bare hands.

Carefully, you lifted your hand up and with your thumb, pushed the food inside your mouth. Before you smiled proudly at Keanu who looked so impressed by what you did.

"Teach me how to do that, babe?" He asked and your eyes lit up by his question that you couldn't help but nod your head vigorously.

"Wash your hands first, mahal. [Love]" You'd say and Keanu would grin at the familiar nickname that he seemed to love so much especially when it's coming from you.

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves oneshot #keanu reeves imagine #keanucharlesreeves

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