#And this is why I don't record myself doing art

[natalyarose]

𝑅𝑒𝒻𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝓉… (𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜, 𝒮𝓊𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝐵𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒾!)

~ This is a bit of a personal one lol, maybe I'm getting a little too comfy on tumblr- but hey, I like it here and I'm very grateful for everyone who's taken an interest in whatever I have to say :)

~ tagging this on Nakshatra tumblr because I feel like this reflection perfectly encapsulates Venus Nakshatras and is very aligned with the Sun moving into Bharani, the birth of Venus among the Nakshatras

// warning, cringe and angsty lmao

I have such an odd relationship with my artistic process. Unconventional? Stubborn. Sometimes just straight up bad lol.

I want to create beautiful, meaningful things, yet I have this sort of extreme resistance to being perfect or professionalism (however, somehow perfectionism and such a ruthless self-antagonism for not being 'enough' at the same time..).

It's almost like I purposely sabotage my art by intentionally leaving in mistakes, or leaving it somewhat dishevelled in protest of perfection. In hopes that the beauty and artistry still manages to shine through to the right people.

I guess it's also this thing where I feel like the imperfection makes art more unique, more exclusive- more personal & dearly held to the people who do find the beauty in it that I initially wanted to communicate. But, there is a difference between artsy, grungy, rawness and... just being crap, lazy, unrefined, undisciplined. (I'd never refer to someone else's work in this way but myself... mann).

Knowing full well that my artistic creation likely 'needs work', is not a finished product and will very likely be criticised for its' imperfection, I still have the overwhelming urge to go ahead and share it with the world/post it. In all of its' messy (again, maybe just straight up bad lol) glory. Then I wonder why I'm not gaining the traction I want haha. When I inevitably receive criticism, I get so hurt by it, I beat myself up and it eats at me to the point that I can't sleep at night, I'm up reciting the criticisms in my head and weaving them into my very own nightmare!

I don't understand why I do this to myself lmao. Later on after posting & putting myself out there, I hear that imperfection in the song, I hear those vocal parts I stubbornly left in and didn't want to redo, I see the dodgy brush strokes I refused to fix up in the name of authenticity, and I cringe. In fact, I feel such a deep shame for it all that I take everything down out of embarrassment. Even though it was fully my decision to put up something amateur sounding and imperfect.

Maybe it's something like the weight of desire for perfection is too much, so I just go 'to hell with it!'.

It's like an endless cycle for me, and I realise that over the years, if I'd just left things up online and was more patient with myself, I'd probably have cultivated a following of some sort by now, or maybe used peoples' criticisms to improve the art to a greater extent. I mean, there are people who have mentioned to me when they notice the art is imperfect and needs work, but there are just as many lovely people who have gone totally out of their way to express deep appreciation for the music/art I've put out and enjoyed it.

Here's my 'theory' as to why I do this to myself: when I create art, I don't just want to make pretty things, though I want that too. I want to be loved, and FELT. I want to bring people to this raw, vulnerable place in my heart where my ideas emerge from. I want to be loved not in spite of the imperfections, but alongside them, all encompassing.

I don't want to have to be perfect, have $1000 worth of equipment, hours and hours of recording time trying to 'get it right' in order to be understood and deemed beautiful. I don't want to show off how perfect or skilled I am either, I want to make people feel something. I want it natural.

r a w.

I kinda enjoy for art to be unfinished and slightly unpalatable on purpose.

Maybe it's a bit of entitlement on my part, expecting that even if I do a mediocre job, people will still enjoy it and see my 'talents'/message.

Truth be told though, that's how I love other people, how I enjoy others' art as well, it's not just something with me.

When I listen to artists I love, I adore seeing something beautiful, yet somehow messy and jarring. A sort of underground-esque, 'wild feminine' creation. It evokes that much more feeling and passion that something designed to be perfect just lacks to me.

I can't get into a lot of bands that are considered 'objectively good' by many people because they just sound too perfect to me- There's a lot of times I come across artists that sound technically good, very clean but my heart just can't get into it. I find myself listening and thinking 'I wish this was recorded on a toaster', or 'I wish there was a more rough sound to the vocals' lol, I crave the rawness & intimacy that imperfection and roughness lends.

Ugh, it all creates such an internal conflict- like I want my art to be seen, to be loved yet I somewhat reject things it takes for the art to be considered objectively good & well rounded.

The harsh reality might just be that just because I see the beauty in imperfection, just because I know I've got this personal, very niche vision of what 'good' sounds like/looks like in my mind, that doesn't mean other people are going to find value in the same things.

Of course, maybe all of this is just pretentious excuses & my own self-hatred manifested (I don't actively hate myself, I try to be much kinder to myself these days but yknow)

Anyway, I realised that it's the start of Bharani season in galactic centre mid-mula Ayanamsa today & I think this write up really aligns with that.

Thankyou for reading lol.. again, a bit of an angsty personal thing but maybe it could be relevant to someone, if y'all wanna know what Venusian artistic angst looks like in real time lmao 🖤🥀

#nakshatras #astrology #music #artist #aesthetic #vedic astro observations #venus

[florbelles]

old woman yells at clouds moment but i really don’t understand why everyone has become so averse to seeing writing as an art form like any other? like there’s this kind of bizarre mentality that i fully believe is well-intentioned but ultimately plays into the notion that you must view something as a skill at which you either excel or should not do which essentially says “you are automatically an incredible writer and everyone is inherently and immediately a masterful storyteller and no one is any better or worse at it!!!!” when that is just. fundamentally untrue. not everyone is necessarily an incredible writer just like everyone is not necessarily an incredible painter or musician or whatever other creative field you want to mention, and that’s fine. everyone comes into their own voice eventually just as everyone comes into their own style, their own method, what have you, but the notion that “you are as good now as anyone has ever been and you will ever be” is actually kind of the opposite of encouraging, in my opinion. of course you will improve. of course you will. but that’s not even the point. you don’t need to improve to love writing, you don’t need to write with the aim of improvement, because ultimately when it’s something that you’re doing out of love the objective quality is irrelevant. not non-existent, just irrelevant. you don’t have to be a literary genius to love and share your work. you don’t have to be a literary genius for others to love and share your work.

i don’t know, i just don’t think that “everyone is masterful” is the solution to the crippling issue of debating whether or not something is “good enough” because that’s not necessarily something that everyone is going to be capable of believing of themselves, and constantly being inundated with the message “it doesn’t matter because everything written by everyone is groundbreaking and brilliant!!!!” leaves the door open for “but what if mine isn’t?”

the reality is it doesn’t matter if it’s groundbreaking or brilliant. a lot of misery comes from the concept that something must be groundbreaking or brilliant. maybe it isn’t. doesn’t matter. it’s okay to love the process and love where you are and love writing and storytelling and creating without needing to tell yourself that this is a masterpiece — that still ultimately burdens you with the idea that this must be a masterpiece.

tl;dr celebrating unique voices and perspectives and writing journeys does not have to be synonymous with necessitating that everything is a masterpiece. a lot of my favorite pieces are not my best, and that does not make them objectively good, and that’s perfectly fine. i just think we should celebrate creating for the sake of it. leave quality out of it. it doesn’t need to prove its validity.

#this is unnecessarily long but idk. it's something i think about often #FOR THE RECORD I'M NOT SAYING THAT IT CAN'T ALSO BE GOOD #I'M SAYING IT SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE IN ORDER TO BE VALID #my relationship with writing is different because i've done it all my life/work in that field #but i guess a good example that made me think more of this is art #like i am not an incredible artist. i am not even good yet. but i have a lot of fun sketching and learning and that's part of the process #i don't see why writing needs to be different? #like i do not need to tell myself 'everything i draw is uniquely mine and therefore it is a masterpiece that is objectively good!!!' bc uh #it isn't. #it doesn't need to be. #i am not a professional artist i am not making a living off of art #it can be as bad as it wants to be i'm still gonna post it i'm still gonna have fun

[moon7jay]

Can u make a jake or( whatever member u want)make up sex ? If not it's okay! 💗🐣

Ofc I can bb 🫶actually was already working on a hurt comfort fic before you requested it

love on you (s.jy)

Idol!jake x artist!reader

Warnings : angst ,hurt-comfort, smut, fluff, reader is insecure

Wc : 4.5k

"Man you didn't tell us y/n won an award wtf" jay's words sounded like static to jake's ears

"What? " He questioned through his hoarse voice, his head throbbing because of the constant state of moving his body had been in for the past few days. He doesn't remember when he last slept for more than 4 hours

"She just posted it on her story, check it out if you even care bro" jay scoffed and left the room, his voice condescending and accusing.

jake's brows furrowed while he automatically reached for his phone

"What do you mean if I even care? " he muttered to himself, feeling anger rise up in his chest at jay's tone.

His thumb swiped at your profile and clicked on your story, all anger leaving his body when he saw your figure holding the golden trophy while standing in front of the mirror, your face hidden from the flashlight of your phone.

His heart sank to his stomach and dread filled up his chest when he realised the gravity of the situation

"fuck" He muttered and rubbed his temples, heart running a mile per minute. What had he done.

He quickly clicked on his notifs and saw a couple of messages from you dated yesterday

"Shit baby I'm so sorry" he muttered, the throbbing in his chest reaching fever pitch, an ugly feeling rearing it's head in his chest when he finally read your messages

[Mine🤍]

[5:40 pm] I'm wearing the blue dress that you love so much tonight :), tell me how I look

[5:40 pm] (photo attachment)

jake clicked on the picture and he wanted to cry. You looked like a fucking goddess. God you were beautiful, you were so beautiful he was questioning how you were real.... how you were his

[6:30 pm] I'm feeling nervous, can't wait for you to be here, I just need to hold your hand for a bit, only for a bit I promise :(

[7:21 pm] you aren't coming are you

[3:30 am] (audio message)

jake's heart felt like it was tearing apart in two, he had fucked up so bad and he didn't think there was anything he could do to make this right.

There were missed calls from you after that last message and finally an audio message that sat staring at jake ominously

He rubbed his palm over his face and finally pressed play with trembling fingers

"Hi babyy i miss you- you slurred, your voice was shaky and he could tell that you were drunk when you recorded this message ,intoxication dripped from your tone

"Where even are you? Busy? Did you at least eat today baby?" he didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve your concern or love, he didn't fucking deserve you

"I hope you did- there was a pause - I haven't eaten- your voice sounded solemn all of a sudden, as if you were deep in your thoughts now, ur voice was hoarse like you had been crying

"Don't feel like eating ...... I waited for you- a sharp inhale, shit, you were crying. jake felt his own eyes dampen at hearing your first sniffle, he hated when you cried. He hated that he was the reason why.

"I feel stupid now" You whispered and then laughed condescendingly

"I mean, it's not like it was an important award anyway... just a stupid art exhibition. It's not like my art is that good anyway, I'm honestly questioning if they gave me that award cuz they needed a female in the merit list"

Wrong. You were amazing. And if anyone deserved that award it was you.

But jake didn't remember the last time he had told you that.

another sniffle

"You have more important stuff to do and i get that. And i told myself I won't cry today but here I am- you giggled through your sobs- I look so stupid right now, I bet I sound even more stupid everytime I annoy you with my stupid fucking feelings"

No you don't, he loves you, you are his everything, he wanted to say

"But I'm trying to change i promise.... I haven't been keeping track of our anniversaries anymore since the last time you told me it was childish and you had better things to do with your time"

jake closed his eyes and let a single tear fall down his cheek, god he regretted it everyday, he regretted opening his stupid mouth and talking to you that way every damn day. He had wished you would forget about it after he apologized to you but of course you haven't. That kind of hurt cannot be forgotten so easily

"It hurts but i manage... it's hard to manage tonight, I don't know why.... maybe because I can't stop expecting things to change, hoping that one day I would wake up and I'll be your priority again " You were full on hiccuping through sobs now

"God I'm so stupid and I wore this stupid fucking dress cuz I felt beautiful... not anymore tho, I don't feel beautiful when you aren't there to tell me I am..... you just matter so much to me and it kills me that I won't ever matter even half as much to you"

jake cursed and threw his phone aside while you still talked, holding his head in both hands, jake let himself cry

He let himself cry for all the times he'd hurt your self esteem so much it made you want to change, he cried for all the times he watched your smile fall cuz he couldn't be there for the stuff you wanted to do

He let himself cry for making you feel like you were less of a person just because you got excited over small things and little gestures mattered to you

He cried because he had been hurting the one person who made his life worth living, so much to the point that you had started to make yourself smaller. He had made you shrink.

"You are my first and last everything jake.. and i know you are an important person and have to hide it from the world that you have a girlfriend but i just feel like... Maybe in an effort to make everyone else believe that i don't exist, you started to believe it too.... and i don't even blame you. I've always been forgettable"

His phone dinged to signal the message had ended so he pressed play again. And again. And again. He doesn't remember how long he sat there listening to your sobs and heart wrenching pain. The pain that he had caused.

jake hadn't felt this kind of fear ever before. Not even when he had moved to a foreign country alone. He was losing his mind, dark circles under his eyes as he sat outside your apartment door. You weren't here, he knew that, he'd been coming to see you everyday but no sign of you. A locked door. That's all he was greeted with for the past 1 week.

Your phone was switched off, no calls or messages, no way of knowing how you were doing and where you were. Had you really left him for good this time? Would he never be able to hold you in his arms again? Hear your giggles and taste your sweet kisses? Was this your goodbye?

That was the thought that had him breaking down completely in his car in the middle of nowhere as he drove around looking for you aimlessly.

just once, he needed to see u once.

He wiped his tears and dialed jay's number

"I need you to do me a favor"

You missed him. You missed him so much it hurt. Were you being too harsh on him? You weren't doing it on purpose, you just didn't feel like you were capable of facing him right now, too embarrassed and feeling exposed after you sent that stupid voice note. A drunk mistake.

What if he broke up with you? What if he hated you now ?

You sobbed into your pillows in your childhood bedroom, crying yourself to sleep, imagining his arms around you, shushing you softly, telling you he loved you

God you don't even remember the last time he told you he loved you.

His knees buckled when his eyes fell on you. There you were, so fucking beautiful, so fucking tempting he had to physically stop himself from running to you and taking you in his arms. You weren't smiling and that's what made his heart clench. As long as he'd known you, you were always smiling, you were his personal little cheerleader.

"Y/n look who's here to meet you" your mother's voice made you jolt, almost dropping the antique case that you were cleaning.

And you almost dropped it again when your questioning eyes met his dark ones. Your heart started beating unbearably fast, your palms sweaty as you placed the case back on the counter with shaky hands

"you didn't tell me you had friends back in the city y/n! And such a handsome one at that- your mother cooed, wiggling her eyebrows at jake whose ears turned red - anyways, you kids talk while I bring you guys snacks" your mother said and disappeared around the corner, leaving you and the reason of your escape from the city alone. You stood there fidgeting with your fingers, the silence sitting heavy on you while you made it a point to look nowhere else except your feet.

After a few foreboding seconds which felt like hours you saw his shoes come into your line of vision, moving closer to your feet

Your hands gripped onto your skirt harshly when you felt his big hands cup both of your cheeks and move your face up to look into his eyes. His face inches from yours.

"Baby.. " he whispered and that's all you had to hear before breaking down, your vision becoming blurry and harsh sobs escaping your lungs

"God I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry sweetheart I'm so fucking sorry" His voice cooed, thumbs swiping at your cheeks to wipe your tears, kissing your cheeks and eyes to calm your heavy breathing

Your hands moved up to fist the shirt on his chest and you closed your eyes to finally let it all out, crying and sobbing your pain out, so hurt and so upset from what things had come to.

He pulled your heaving body into his arms and circled his arms so tight around you, as if afraid of losing you. You sobbed your heart out in the crook of his neck while he apologized to you, whispering countless confessions into your ears

"I love you, I love you so much baby, I'm sorry I haven't shown it to you enough" he whispered and you hiccuped in his chest, letting the hurt and disappointment wash over you, hearing him say he loved you already healing a part of you

His guilt ridden voice had you eventually giving in and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling back to stare into his eyes, small sniffles leaving your lips as u observed his tired face. Your hand cupped his cheek and he leaned into your touch, kissing your palm. You traced the heavy dark circles beneath his eyes, his irises were red rimmed and exhausted, hairs messy and uncombed

"How long since u slept?" You asked in your hoarse voice

He stared into your eyes, giddy from feeling you close again, feeling too good cuz you were back in his arms

"2 weeks" He whispered and your eyes teared up again. You knew he had been harsh on himself because of his work, he was often sick, unable to sleep or rest and then there was you and your feelings

Who cared about your stupid feelings when this man in front in front of you couldn't even get proper fucking sleep? If anything, you were the extra baggage that he had been carrying around

"I'm sorry" You whispered and his brows furrowed "baby why? "

"because I'm so inconsiderate, I'm sorry I'm so demanding and - his lips cut your rambling off mid sentence, chapped lips pressed against your plump ones and he kissed you like he had never kissed you before. Desperate hands grabbed your waist while your own tangled In his hairs, pulling him closer to you. You were both hungry. No the better word would be starved. You were starved to the point that even a little brush of skin against each other was sending your heads reeling. The kiss tasted of despair and guilt, it reeked of frustration but most of all jake kissed you like he was scared.

"Wanting to feel loved isn't a demand sweetheart, I'm sorry i haven't been there for you, I'm sorry i haven't been making you feel like you are my priority, because you are. You have no idea what you mean to me baby, you're my little heart" he whispered into your mouth and you started crying again like the crybaby that you were. You were his crybaby tho, his to console and comfort. His to love.

He kissed you again, soft pecks all over your face, whispering things that he had never told you before, he didnt like talking about his feelings this way but the moment demanded vulnerability and he could do anything for you.

You were sure your mother had heard everything by now and that's why you didn't hesitate to drag jake into your childhood bedroom. The both of you snuggled in your bed and talked about your feelings for hours. Tears were shed on both sides but it was comforting in a sense, to clear everything up and come clean about what you both needed

"Will you wear that dress for me again? When we get home?" he asked, his fingers tracing patterns into your waist and you pouted at him

"you've lost that privilege" You teased , slapping his chest lightly

He stared deeply into your eyes, his gaze so serious it made your own smile drop

"I'd do anything to gain that privilege again, to see you look so beautiful for me,so fucking pretty for me" he whispered and you blushed, your head reeling from his words

"I'll wear it" You mumbled shyly, god you were weak for this man

He leaned into you to bite your cheek

"Yeah? you'd let me take it off you too won't you? Unwrap you like a present, just for me? "

You blushed harder, ears burning up, your fists hitting against his chest

"Pervert" you whispered and he chuckled, his hands wrapping around your body to pull you closer, nose burying in the crook of your neck, leaving small sensual kisses

"Can't help it baby I'm so down bad for you" he groaned into your neck, making you flinch slightly as it tickled. His hold on your waist was tight, squeezing you desperately

"you're seriously not thinking dirty things while my mom's down the hallway right? " You asked giggling even though your cheeks were red and flushed. It had been a while since you and jake had done anything like this, since you felt wanted by him like this

jake's pants tightened uncomfortably upon hearing your giggles. God you were so sweet, there was a reason his manager had been forbidding him from seeing you

You were a distraction. You were addicting. And anyone with two eyes could see that jake was addicted to you.

He had physically recoiled when his manager had told him to chose between his idol career and you, seeing how he was willing to sneak out to meet you, risking everything and putting everyone at stake

But jake had promised he would control himself. He couldn't live without you, even the thought of you not being there made his chest constrict. So he decided to stay away from you for a while. Even though it hurt , it surely hurt less than to stay away from you forever

"I was drunk and couldn't stop thinking about you" jake whispered, coming up to move your body, laying you on your back so that he could hover over you

"so i drank more and kept drinking till I couldn't feel my fingers"

Your wide doe eyes stared up at him curiously, wondering why he was telling you this all of a sudden

He brought his palm up to your face, stroking your cheek by the back of his hand, caressing you like he loved you

"I didn't forget about your award sweetheart, I was too drunk to remember anything at all, woke up hungover the next evening and i realized what I had done. In an effort to forget about you, I forgot everything else as well. I know it's not an excuse but i just need to tell you" He said, his expression guilty and distraught

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to yourself

"Why were you trying to forget about me? Why not just come see me? or call me? "

Your innocent questioning eyes made jake close his eyes in impending sorrow. He leaned down and kissed u deeply, tasting your hot mouth to stabilize himself before pulling back and telling you everything.

You layed wide wake, stroking your fingers through jake's hair as he slept soundly snuggled into your chest. His soft snores and breath hitting your clavicle.

Honestly you weren't surprised that his manager had done such a thing. You weren't a fool, you noticed the hostile stares he would shoot your way everytime you went over to the boys' dorms or practice sessions. His eyes were always set on you in a glaring warning, as if to say, "you're not welcome here"

You hated that you understood where he was coming from. Being responsible for an entire group's reputation must be hard and your presence only made it harder.

You sighed and hugged jake's head closer to you, burying your nose in his hairs, breathing him in after so long. His hands were around your waist, grip so tight even in his sleep, it made you feel safe and so loved. This was all you wanted. Him in your arms, was that really too much to ask for?

You were still awake about two hours later, sleep just wouldn't come to you, head filled with so many thoughts. You tried slipping out from his grip to fetch water but his strong hands were pulling your body back into him

"Hmm don't go" He mumbled, his voice heavy and sleep ridden, eyes still closed but brows slightly furrowed. You smiled and kissed his nose, trying to slip again when his eyes opened wide, a gasp escaped your lips when he was flipping you over, resting his body over yours, nibbling on your ear

"I said don't fucking go" he growled and the sound had you rubbing your thighs together, hands coming up to rest against his shoulders

"I-i was just thirsty" you whispered and he hummed into your skin, nibbling on your ear again, sucking your lobe into his mouth making you whine softly

"I'm thirsty too" he whispered in your ear, his hands moving down to grab your thighs and parting them so he could settle his crotch against your middle, making you feel how hard he was in his jeans

"so fucking thirsty baby" He groaned and thrusted against you, a harsh gasp left your lips at his actions

"J-jake not here" you whispered but even you didn't believe your words, pussy starting to drip just from the way his voice sounded so husky and deep in your ear. His hands groped your lower body, taking a handful of your ass as he issued another thrust against you

Before you could tell him to stop again, he was pulling back, standing on his knees between your legs while he hastily undid his belt and jeans

"I'm sorry sweetheart I just can't wait any fucking longer, I need to put it in" he panted, you squirmed underneath him, watching how he was quick to pull his pants down his legs, his boxers coming off along with them, hanging around his thighs

He didn't bother taking his clothes all the way off, desperate hands reaching under your skirt to pull your panties down your legs

Your breathing was heavy, eyes pivoted to the hard dick that hung between his legs, arousal gushing down your slit when he rubbed a finger against your hole while fisting his own dick a few times "such a pretty fucking pussy"

"jake please" you moaned and he cursed, coming up to capture your lips into his own while he settled between your legs, rubbing his cock against your leaking cunt, rubbing it up and down, bumping against your engorged clit, making you moan into his mouth that was busy licking into yours

The feeling of being so close to each other after so long had you feeling hot and heavy

"Yeah baby? you want it?" he demanded, eyes dark and lust ridden as he gazed into your teary ones

"Y-yes please" you mumbled and jake clenched his jaw. Fuck. You were sweeter than candy and he couldn't control himself when it came to you

He rested his forehead against yours, looking down to stare at how his dick entered your warm sex, hips grinding to slide in smoother and deeper. Your mouth fell open in a silent moan upon the feeling of him inside of you after so long "baby f-fuck" he groaned into your mouth, feeling his resolve to go soft on you fading away at the way your tight walls were clenching around him

"you're sucking me in baby, so tight"

His words made your hips twitch. The indication enough for him to start moving in you. Your nails dug into his shoulders from above his shirt that he still wore as his hips started snapping against yours, his balls smacking filthily against your ass

His hot moans were making you wetter, drool escaping your mouth at the pleasure

"ts so good baby I fucking missed this" he pants, his hands groping your body mercilessly as he kept moving in and out of your leaking pussy

He licked the drool escaping your lips, sticking his tongue inside your hot mouth, licking into it with urgency while he moved your legs upwards, pressing your body in a mating press, increasing his pace

Harsh animalistic thrusts were sending your body in a ripple, making you move back and forth as he moved above you, sending the headboard of the bed slamming against the wall, the sex getting louder, messier

"Yeah, yeah, fuck yeah" he insinuated with every grind of his hips into you, meshing your lower bodies together to create a friction so insane it had you moaning his name in a chant, mind numbing pleasure clouding your senses

You both shared open mouth kisses, sucking on each other's tongue lewdly, uncaring of how messy it was, you loved messy

His hands moved up to hold onto the headboard above your head as he moved his hips deeper into yours, letting your legs fall around his hips, wrapping around his waist, your ankles digging into his ass to keep him buried deep inside of your warm cunt

"Wanted to make love to you but look what you fucking do to me" he groaned into your mouth, occasionally licking into it and digging his teeth into your lower lip, making you whine and moan in extreme pleasure. His dick made out with your cervix, bumping pleasurably into your g spot, penetrating your womb mercilessly

The sound of the headboard slamming was getting louder, bed creaked beneath your writhing bodies, the sweat on your naked bodies making it easier to slide against each other

Your moans were getting louder as his silent curses reached a fever pitch, a bunch of "Umhhnshit baby" and "so good" s falling from his lips, hips getting sloppier, pistoning in and out of you in a frenzy, uncaring of how your mother could probably hear you get pounded into the sheets

"s-so close jake I'm so close" you moaned and his hips got faster, his hand sneaking down to rub against your clit to make u reach your high faster. He couldn't wait to feel you gushing around his cock "that's right baby, make a fucking mess on me yeah?" he groaned, biting your lower lip and rubbing harshly against you, his hips never faltering, thrusting and thrusting until you were cumming all over his dick with a scream of his name

The moan was so pornographic it had him cumming within minutes of feeling the delicious clench of your cunt around his aching cock, filling you up to the brim, harsh pants escaping his lips as he used your pussy to ride his orgasm, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Sighs of satisfaction filled the empty space between your mouths

Harsh breaths were shared as you both came down from your highs, sharing sweet kisses and confessions, a string of "I love you" s falling from his lips while his palms caressed your body softly, rubbing against the parts where he'd grabbed you harshly

"Don't you need to go back? what will your manager do if he finds out you're here with me?" you asked some time later, his dick was still in you, feeling too good to cockwarm him just like this

He kissed you softly and shook his head "Told jay to take care of it. I honestly couldn't care less baby I just need you"

You bit your lower lip, getting shy now that he was being so sweet to you, not used to have him say such things to you casually "But u should care jake, you can't just risk your career for me"

"I could do anything for you. Nothing matters if you're not there, I hope you know that sweetheart" he whispered in your mouth before kissing you deeply again. "I hope you also know how proud of you I am my pretty little artist, no one else deserved that award more than you baby"

You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and kissed him back, heart feeling full and all insecurities fading away at his words, cheeks flaming red from his compliments, unable to hide the smile overtaking your face

"I love you" you whispered, as if saying them any louder would take the meaning of the words away

"Yeah? Say that again baby" He whispered back and you giggled shyly, burying your face in the crook of his neck where you repeated the words again

He chuckled and kissed the side of your head adoringly "I love you so much too baby, and I'm going to show it to you every waking moment, I'm gonna love on you till you're begging me to stop"

You curled your body further into him at his words, heart feeling giddy after a very long time. Hoping that this feeling would last forever.

#enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard headcanons #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enha #jake smut #jake sim #sim jaeyun #jaeyun smut #enhypen jaeyun #jake x reader

[cuties-in-codices]

About the scaped off/cebsored manuscripts: I have never noticed that before! Can you say more about this? Do we know when it was censored? Was it during the medieval times, or later?

Makes me think of how the victorians overpainted exposed nipples etc with flowers when 'restoring' 18th century art

hii good question! i'm not an expert at all and i ask myself the same questions (when were they censored? by whom? why?), but i've definitely encountered this phenomenon a lot when going through medieval manuscripts. here are some examples i could find on the fly (my personal record-keeping system isn't the best, so this is just an incomplete list of what i've come across):

a censorship of noah's exposed genitals (genesis 9:22) in a german bible, ca. 1425.

(Vatican, Biblioteca Apostolica Vaticana, Pal. lat. 871, fol. 12v)

in the same bible: a censored image of a couple having sex!

(Vatican, Biblioteca Apostolica Vaticana, Pal. lat. 871, fol. 12v)

classic nipple censorship 💯💯 (the nipples of no one less than the mother of the antichrist!) in another bible, alsace, early 15th century

(Colmar, Bibliothèque municipale, 0213 (306), fol. 261v)

censored sexual acitivities (probably missionary sex, as that is what's depicted in the same 'spot' in similar manuscripts -- i'll post it soon, it's spicy). in a german fortune-telling manuscript, ca. 1450-1473

(Munich, BSB, Cgm 312, fol. 56r)

then there's also sometimes censorship of non-sexual contents. all three of the above images are from a swabian 'vergänglichkeitsbuch' ('book of evanescence'?), ca. 1575, where a ton of faces have been censored (no idea why). love the demon btw. i wonder whether the 'black scarf' was also added belatedly to cover something up?

(Stuttgart, Landesbibliothek, Cod. Donaueschingen 123, fol. 10v, 11v and 12v)

there's also a different type of censhorship: cut out images! this one's from a medical-astrological manuscript ("iatromathematisches hausbuch"), bavaria, ca. 1474. i don't know what the intention behind this cutting out was, so maybe it wasn't even intended as a censorship?

(Munich, UB, 2º Cod. ms. 578, fol. 10r)

in the same manuscript (the "iatromathematisches hausbuch"), we also find quite a lot of censored faces though.

(Munich, UB, 2º Cod. ms. 578, fol. 21v)

so yeah, these are just some examples i can provide. if anybody knows more about the context(s) of this phenomenon, please let us know!

the only thing that i could add is that there's a word for when a text has been scraped or washed off from a manuscript page, which is "palimpsest". but this term is typically used for when a page of parchment was re-used for a new text by scraping off the previous writing, so it's typically not about censorship and idk if the examples i provided would also be considered palimpsests.

thank you for the question! :)

#palimpsest #censorship #illuminated manuscripts #ask #medievalism #medieval studies #medieval manuscripts

[grungeprincess2]

Kurt Cobain Quotes

1. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

2. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

3. Friends are nothing but a known enemy.

4. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.

5. If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile.

6. I am definitely a feminist. I'm f--king disgusted by the way women are still treated. It's 1993 and some people still think we're in 1950s. We need to make more progress. There needs to be more female musicians, more female artists, more female writers. Everything is dominated by f--king males and I'm sick of it!

7. Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art.

8. Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self-esteem. They're no good at all.

9. We're so trendy we can't even escape ourselves.

10. I definitely feel closer to the feminine side of the human being than I do the male - or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be. Just watch a beer commercial and you'll see what I mean.

11. I mean, I’m definitely gay in spirit, and I probably could be bisexual. But I’m married, and I’m more attracted to Courtney [Love] than I ever have been toward a person, so there’s no point in trying to sow my oats at this point. [Laughs] If I wouldn't have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual lifestyle.

12. Ever since the beginning of rock and roll, there's been an Axl Rose. And it's just boring. It's totally boring to me.

13. I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I'm just more sexually attracted to women. But I'm really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it totally saved me from becoming a monk or something.

14. If any of you, in any way, hate homosexuals, people of a different color or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone. Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.

15. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.

16. The duty of youth is to challenge corruption.

17. We’re not as popular as everyone thinks, and we’re not as rich as everyone thinks.

18. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life.

19. Punk is musical freedom. It’s saying, doing, and playing what you want.

20. Words suck. I mean, everything has been said. Words aren’t as important as the energy derived from music, especially live.

21. I'm a spokesman for myself. It just so happens that there's a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I'm just as confused as most people. I don't have the answers for anything.

22. Holding my baby is the best drug in the world.

23. No one is afraid of heights, they’re afraid of falling down. No one is afraid of saying I love you, they’re afraid of the answer.

24. I use bits and pieces of others’ personalities to form my own.

25. If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.

26. I just can’t believe anyone would start a band just to make the scene and be cool and have chicks. I just can’t believe it.

27. To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred and valuable. To be negative at all times is to be threatened by ridiculousness and instant discredibility.

28. You can’t buy happiness.

30. Nobody dies a virgin. Life f***s us all.

31. Music is energy. A mood, atmosphere. Feeling.

33. If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

34. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f****** sad.

35. I have to admit I’ve found myself doing the same things that a lot of other rock stars do or are forced to do. Which is not being able to respond to mail, not being able to keep up on current music, and I’m pretty much locked away a lot. The outside world is pretty foreign to me.

36. I really miss being able to blend in with people.

37. It’s better to burn out than fade away.

38. God is gay

#kurt donald cobain #kurt cobain #kurdt kobain #frances bean cobain #courtney love #grunge #life quote #beautiful quote #quotes #90s grunge #rock #grunge tumblr #feminism #feminist quotes #queer #punk music #god is gay #kurt #smells like nirvana #nirvana #punk community #holeband #bisexual #inspirational quotes #aberdeen #grunge music #riot grrrl #activism #anti homophobia #anti sexism

[skykashi]

So I just had to turn off the reblogs of the Gai art, it seems like some popular blog reblogged the post with the ridiculous reblog of the baseless accusations that has absolutely no evidence or proof whatsoever and ppl have been reblogging it from them to point me out as the new villain on Tumblr, just because someone think they are too smart for this world and has a built-in AI detection sensors in their brain that they can throw serious accusations like that with literally nothing to back it up except that their Spidey senses are tingling!

I just can't believe how easy it is to destroy someone's reputation and years of hard work in seconds just because someone wanted to, you have no idea how discouraging this whole thing is, to work your butt off to create something just to be met with this at the end, am I supposed to record the process of every artwork I create and post it with my artworks from now on? How am I supposed to keep working on myself and challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone and improve my skills if the second I post something a little different from the usual I get attached like this? You have no idea how hard it is to have to work with such a crappy tablet, how time and effort consuming it is to keep trying to create something pretty on a lagging screen and no pen pressure sensitivity, but I have no choice but to be stubborn and determined enough to just keep trying anyway and spend 10x more time and effort than anyone else because that's what I love to do and it's limiting my creativity so much but I just have to make it work with what I can afford... and then the one time I had enough motivation coming from wanting to create something that will put a smile on my friend's @depressedhatakekakashi face just like they continue to put a smile on my face so I chose to do something different this time for them, something that I don't usually go for because of how extremely hard it will be on a stupid tablet like mine but my appreciation and gratitude for them gave me the push I needed to do it and challenge those limitations even further, not knowing that there's someone lurking in the shadows waiting for a moment like that to destroy all of my hard work.

First, they said "oh, I think it's AI because some parts look pixilated" so I recorded a video showing how things get pixilated when I move them between Adobe Illustrator and Clip Studio Paint and why I'm forced to use both software together for a piece like this so they then say "I don't understand how what you said is relevant" then changed their reason to "because the art style in this piece looks different from your usual art style" and um, my usual art style is meant to look like cartoon and this one is meant to look realistic HOW COULD IT NOT LOOK DIFFERENT?!!!, like I don't understand, am I stuck with only one type of artwork now because that's what I usually do? Am I not allowed to try something new for a change or try to challenge myself or develop my skills? Can someone tell me where I can get a permit to have freedom with my creations? Or am I supposed to just stop trying all together?!!!

#rant post #I have spent years getting bullied in school when I was a kid #and honestly thought that I would never have to go though that again now that I am a grown up #never thought that I will be bullied on the internet too #didn't know I will have to relive this feeling again in my 30's #naruto

[alittlefanatic]

🍎Shall we Dance? - Ch 2🍎

You can find Ch 1 Here: Shall We Dance - Ch 1

Or here: Shall We Dance - WattPad

This chapter will switch between Wally and the Reader's point of view! This is just to flip back and forth on viewpoints in later chapters! I'll let you know when the POV Changes! <3

Art by: @kluelezz on Twitter

Wally's POV

The morning had arrived as I yawned, my hair in my face as I stretched to wake myself up. It was about seven 6 a.m but I couldn't help but lie in bed thinking about yesterday's events.

After the neighbor and I talked about what we needed for the competition, I went straight back Home in search of records to use. Thankfully I had a few that were in working condition that we both could use to practice, just slow enough to get some footwork down, they were some of my favorite records after all which helped ease my mind.

"I still can't believe they wanted to join a dance competition...I didn't know they were into dance." I grumbled to myself, putting my hand over my eyes. "Have I ever seen them dance before? Why did they even..? I thought they didn't even want to act again in a play, isn't that what the winner is rewarded with?"

My head hurt already, but I couldn't help but chuckle. It was all so silly in reality! My neighbor was always so excited about learning new things, I guess I really should have seen this coming, but still???

Shaking my head, I sat up out of bed, dragging my feet over to the side as I went and changed into my outfit for the day. Grabbing my blue cardigan and red tie, I quickly put both of them on as I sat down in front of my mirror, staring at myself with my hair down.

"I wish my hair could stay up permanently..." I grumbled, grabbing a brush to smooth it out, then tease it out, slowly forming the pompadour on my head as I grabbed some hairspray to keep it still.

"Home, do you recall if we have any books here about dance?" I spoke, and a very soft and quiet squeak was heard from the door as I shook my head. "I'll definitely have to grab some from Howdy or Frank today then. I need to be a good dancer for my neighbor! I can't let them down today! Or ever...I don't want to upset our dear neighbor."

After combing my hair, I headed straight to the kitchen, grabbing some apples to eat as a snack, and I looked out the window. The neighbor didn't live as far, fortunately, but they were near the forest near Eddie's Postal shop.

"It's better to be early than late, I might as well be on my way!" Wally spoke happily, looking at the time which read eight am. "Do I really take that long to style my hair...?" I shrugged. "What can I say, I always want to look my very best. You can't rush perfection~"

With Home opening the door for me, I made my way towards our Neighbors home!

...

Making it to the door, I knocked.

"Neighbor! I know I'm early, but I figured an early start is better than no start!" I spoke happily. I waited a couple of minutes until knocking again. Maybe they were still sleeping?

I heard some feet shuffling behind the door accompanied by a couple of groans, as I heard the click of the door opening.

"God, the sun is bright..." They grumbled, rubbing their eyes. Their hair was all messy and tangled, and it looked like they still had their oversized pajamas on. I couldn't help but chuckled. They looked so silly! Silly, Silly...

"Well, yes, neighbor, it is the sun. What do you expect?"

Neighbor rolled their eyes and simply waved me inside.

"Make yourself comfortable, I have some water beginning to boil for some tea. Let me just make myself look alive." They grumbled sleepily as they went to presumably go get changed.

I couldn't help but look around their place. The walls were a wonderful shade of light blue as there were fairy lights adorning the walls. They had many bookshelves of books, as well as many soft pillows and blankets. Neighbor sure did love to be cozy! I couldn't help but chuckle to myself when I heard the kettle. Walking over to the kitchen, I looked around, grabbing some green tea bags and some honey, I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and put the teabag in along with the hot water and honey.

"Ahh...that feels much better," Neighbor spoke, as I turned to look towards them. I could feel my eyes dilate as I looked at them, absorbing the new information. They had on a rainbow-striped short-sleeved shirt with some blue jean shorts with some black tennis shoes. Their hair was brushed neatly back and pulled back out of their face.

"Hello? Earth to Wally?" The neighbor waved a hand in front of my face as I shook my head.

"Sorry, neighbor! I like your attire -" I coughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. They looked cute! Cute? Friendly cute! Yes!

Neighbor couldn't help but roll their eyes, taking the cup of tea I laid out and taking a sip. You could see them visibly perk up.

"Oh, that's some wonderful tea, thank you!" They spoke happily, taking another sip as they sighed. "We gotta get down to business today! I have nothing to wear for any of this, and I do have some books about dancing, just not about foxtrot..."

"I'm sure Howdy's open by now if you would like to hurry on over neighbor."

"Might as well! Besides, I want to ask around and see who else is in the competition! Maybe we can catch some of them dancing~" They spoke, drinking the last bit of their tea before putting it in the sink.

"Well, we know Eddie and Frank are competing since, you know... Sally pretty much ran to them after us." I spoke, Neighbor chuckling. "I wonder who else is competing, though, maybe Barnaby and Julie? It can't just be two groups. There needs to be more."

"Well! That's what we can go to Howdy's and ask! Being the shopkeep, others have to get things to right?" Neighbor perked up, grabbing my hand, obviously very excited. "Let's get going then!!"

Without even getting a word in, they dragged me right out the door to Howdy's shop.

...

Reader's POV

Hurrying to Howdy's shop, holding Wally in my hand, I barged through the door, the little bell ringing to signify people have entered.

"Oh? Neighbor! Wally! Welcome to the Bugdega. Can I help you find anything?" Howdy asked happily, fixing his little hat and setting down a box with his other set of hands.

"Hi Howdy! I was actually wondering if you had any clothes or books? Particularly about dancing!" I spoke happily, glancing around the store, walking up to a couple of pairs of shoes.

Howdy couldn't help but laugh. "Sally got to you to huh? I take it your joining in the competition?"

"Yes, we are, Wally is actually my partner!"

Howdy looked towards Wally, then back at me. "Him?? Wally, I thought you didn't know how to dance, nor cared to?"

Wally rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "Neighbor wanted to, and they needed a partner! Simple as that! Can't I help out a good friend?"

Howdy gave Wally a certain look, I figured out Wally's face getting slightly red. "It's not like that!!" He grumbled, turning his head away as I raised an eyebrow, shrugging my shoulders as I went back to looking at the shoes, grabbing a pair of white tennis shoes with a red stripe down the sides. Walking back over to the counter, I put the shoes on them, then went to the books to search.

"Is it so unusual to want to try something different? It's getting hotter out and I'm bored! Besides, a little competition could be fun, and it's good to learn something new. How hard can it be to learn how to dance?" I spoke, finding a book about the different types of dances, as well as the basics, grabbing it as I put it on the counter.

Wally grabbed some water bottles, putting them on the counter as well. "Yes, exactly! Actually, Howdy, we were curious if you knew of anyone else wanting to join?"

Howdy put a hand to his chin, folding his other limbs across his chest. "Hmm... I do believe Frank and Eddie will be entering. I saw those two dancing the other night, as sweet as can be! You know how Frank loves to learn. He probably already has some knowledge, and Eddie is quick on his feet, so that's probably gonna be your main competitors! Other than that, I'm not sure, I believe Poppy was thinking about it but was too nervous, I know she still has time to decide." Howdy spoke as he began to put the items in brown sacks with the Bugdega logo on it.

"Hmm... maybe we can catch them in the act? Maybe seeing how good they are might give us a shot of what we are up against!" I spoke happily, Wally looking over wide-eyed.

"You mean SPY on them? That's not very neighborly! They deserve their privacy!"

"And we deserve to see how good our competition is~" I spoke with a smirk, looking over at Howdy. "How much?"

Howdy looked down at the items. "Hmm... tell me your best joke!"

I paused, thinking a moment. "Why do you tell actors to 'break a leg'? ...Because ever play has a cast."

Howdy erupted in laughter. Man, I didn't even think it was that funny, but his laugh was infectious, and I couldn't help but join in.

"Ok ok that's a good one. Let's hope you two don't get hurt during this. Dance injuries are no joke!" Howdy spoke, waving us off as I grabbed my new book and shoes, Wally grabbing the waters.

"You take care, Howdy! It's been getting hot!" Wally spoke, opening the door for me as we stepped outside, hearing the door shut behind us. I couldn't help but glance towards Frank's house. Wally looked where I was looking and raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, neighbor, let's go put these up -"

"Aww, come on, Wally, I'm sure it's fine to do a little bit of snooping~" I spoke, taking a step towards Frank's home.

"Neighbor, I swear if we don't go back to Home right now -"

I smiled, taking more slow steps to Frank's house before sprinting in its general direction.

"NEIGHBOR- UGH!' I heard Wally yell behind me before following after me. I smiled in victory as I ran towards the tall flower bushes near Frank's home as I knelt down behind them. He kept those for the butterflies and other insects to study. It would only make sense they he grew flowers for the bugs around him.

I could hear soft, slow music play, as Wally finally caught up to me, catching his breath as he sent a playful glare my way. I smirked, sticking my tongue out before motioning for him to be quiet and listen. It sounded like 'Can't take my eyes off of you' was playing, as I heard two voices speaking. Standing up, I peaked through the bushes and fence, seeing Eddie and Frank smiling.

They were both dancing slowly, Frank smiling happily as Eddie looked at him with adoration as the two practiced slowly. You motion Wally to stand up and watch, to which he obliged, staring at the scene ahead of us. He couldn't help but smile softly, and honestly, I couldn't blame him. It was sweet seeing Frank smile, as he often frowned. I couldn't help but be amazed at their dance moves, though. They almost seemed to be pros if it wasn't for Eddie at least, who fumbled on his feet and seemed to mess up on his cues. Frank had more rhythm between the two, but in the moment, it seemed neither of them cared. They were just happy to dance with each other.

Wally and I looked at each other, nodding in mutual agreement to give them some privacy. We sneakily and quietly got out of earshot and began to make our way back towards home.

"Did you see that?? Wasn't that so sweet??" I couldn't help but swoon. I was a sucker for romance. What can I say? I loved reading romance and falling in love with other characters. But loved always seemed to avoid me, maybe one day though someone would sweep me off my feet.

"They are dating after all. Though, it does seem like we have some good competition." Wally chuckled, though I couldn't help but be off in my own dream world.

"I hope one day someone will look at me the way Eddie looks at Frank." I sighed happily, to which Wally chuckled.

"I know someone will. You are the most, I'll say." He spoke simply. I rolled my eyes. He's my friend, of course he would say that!

Finally making it to Home, it opened its doors for Wally and I, as I held onto my book, walking to and sitting on the couch while Wally put the waters on the counter.  "We got some supplied, I got some records. We should read through the books next to get a better idea, yea?" Wally spoke, coming to the couch to sit next to me, as I opened the book.

"Yea, that might be a good idea... I do have some musicals that we could watch as well. If you want to, I could read the book to you, and tonight we could watch some movies? Just to get an idea."

Wally smiled, nodding as he looked towards the book. "That's more than ok with me, neighbor." He spoke, sitting with his head against his hand. I couldn't help but smile as I scooted close to him, as I began to read from my book, feeling a pair of eyes on me on occasion as I spoke. Though it was a small start, it was a start in the right direction. I didn't mind reading to Wally anyway, and based on how relaxed he was?

I don't think he minds either.

Authors note

I know this was a more mundane chapter, but we're going to be getting into more fluff and crushes next chapter, so be prepared~

Lovely original request by @conchoyster

#wally darling x reader #welcome home requests #welcome home x reader #wally darling #welcome home #wally darling x y/n #wally x reader #wally x y/n #frank x eddie

[graciegoeskrazy]

“and i do make art ty very much”

Matty Healy x Teen!Daughter!reader + lil bit of george

a/n: random thought the popped in my head. enjoy this cute lil blurb :)

As soon as you walked in the door you were expecting to follow your usual routine - burst through the door announcing your presence, grab a snack, tell your dad all the details and mundane facts about your day, then go upstairs and hide for awhile until your dad yells at you to do your homework or makes you come downstairs to get dinner. Today, however, that didn't exactly go to plan.

“I’m Home!” You said, but instead of being greeted my your dad or uncles, you were met with silence. “Hello?”

Nothing.

“Dad? George? You here?” You didn't worry and just headed up to your room deciding to shoot a text to your dad to make sure he wasn't dead. Before you could hit send though, you found your father when you walked into your room.

“Jeez! You scared me!” You yelled.

Instead of a ‘sorry’ or ‘oh my bad’ he kept a straight face when asked, “What’s this?”

It took you a second to register exactly what he was worrying about, but eventually you realized it was your journal. Like your father, you kept at least 2 journals going at the same time. You however had 3. One for your usual ‘dear diary, blah blah blah’, one for the stuff your therapist makes you write, and another for the lyrics and poems you jot down in your spare time. And that just so happened to be the one your father held in his hands.

“Something you weren’t supposed to find.” You shyly replied.

You weren't mad at your father one bit. You tell him everything anyways, it’s like there isnt even a need for a diary because he a human version of one. Filled with all the knowledge of your hopes, dreams, stupid habits, and crushes. This, however, happened to be one of the rare things you kept from your father.

He looked at the pages again, “When did you make this?”

You quickly diverted the conversation. “Why are you going through my journal!?”

“I was cleaning.” He replied.

“You never clean.” You said, looking at him quizzically.

He shrugged and smiled. “You’re right. George told me you got high the other day and I was looking for drugs.”

“Ugh! That bitch!” You said, throwing your backpack on the ground.

“But screw that- this is really good! When did you make this?”

“That one was like a year ago? I don’t know.” You said crossing your arms, suddenly feeling a bit insecure.

“Can you stop reading my private feelings and thoughts please?” You tried to grab the book out of your dad's hands but he pulled it away before you had the chance.

“Is this one about your crush on June?” He said tauntingly.

“Dad!”

“Awe! You’re in love!”

You finally grabbed the book from him and held it tight to your chest.

“Why did you never tell me about this?” he asked.

“Because I didn't want to embarrass myself. Duh.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dad, you're a Grammy-nominated musician and I’m an angsty teenager who writes about teenage love. There’s a fine line and I don't want to embarrass myself by crossing it.”

“Darling, those were good! Hell, those are fucking great!”

“Thanks?”

After an awkward silence he continued.

“You should record those-”

“No-”

“It would be really good-”

“Get out-”

“I know some peopleeee.” He said smiling.

“Get out!”

He smiled and left the room, not before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

When he got downstairs, he was greeted by George in the kitchen. “What was happening up there?”

Matty got a drink from the fridge, “My baby is a songwriter.”

“Hm?” George asked.

“She wrote lyrics, George. And they're good too.”

George looked confused. Matty continued,

“We need to get those songs she wrote and make her record them.”

“Mate, you can’t force your daughter into the business.”

“Yeah, you’re right…”

“But I’m her uncle so it’s okay if I do it.”

Matty just laughed.

#matty healy x daughter!reader #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #matty the 1975 #matty healy #the 1975 #george daniel

[waitmyturtles]

As much as I've been trying to shake Only Friends from my brain vibes, I can't quite do it yet, simply because I'm a little shocked about how much time I spent on this show, for it to end in such a way that struck me as a very heavy-handed moral indictment against the character of Boston. I think I'm feeling just generally unmoored about the fact that the show was going to make moral indictments of any kind in the first place. If I knew that was the intended direction of the show, good god, I would have dropped it and ran away from the burning fire a long-ass time ago.

I need to process something that I've seen coming across my dash the last couple of days, in part inspired by this excellent Q&A exchange by @chaos0pikachu, which touches upon how some Only Friends defenders have defended the ending -- either by noting that the show is coming from a transcendent perspective of very literally demonstrating that so very often, people judged as "sluts" are kicked out of their friend groups; and/or saying that the show is "message-less," and thus, the finale is defensible.

That "message-less" notion is something I've seen repeated a number of times, and I need to comment on it.

All media is communication. Art is communication. And: all communication has intention. All communication has messages and messaging.

What's the point of communicating otherwise? There is messaging inherent within communication, because.... how can you communicate without a message?

People get in trouble all the time for trying to defend their communication as message-less. I'm a huge believer in personal accountability; if I say something that reads or sounds idiotic, I'll call myself out on it and try to fix it. Communication is about messages, it's about tone, it's about phrasing, it's about intention. You might be acting like a little putz on a social media forum, and you might defend your right to act like a little putz, and you might even say that you don't mean to act like a little putz! But no matter if you say that your communication doesn't have intention -- well, it actually does, because communication will ALWAYS have implicit AND explicit layers of intention and messaging in it. Intention and messaging are inherently built within ALL styles of communication.

I don't recall Jojo and his team ever saying that Only Friends was a show without a message, and I'm happy to see primary sources with quotes that recorded him saying that. If and when I see these primary sources, I'd like to say to him, and to OF fans who defend the ending by saying the show is message-less:

There is no such thing as a message-less show. There is no such thing as a message-less piece of art. If the piece of art exists: it's communicating SOMETHING.

The best way to NOT send a message? It's to not create that piece of art. Because art is inherently communication. And all communication has messages. No messages means no communication. A message-less show means: no show.

Not only did Only Friends have messaging embedded within the show -- but Only Friends was incredibly heavy-handed, especially at the end, about the way in which the show judged sex outside of monogamous dyads. In my Morning After meta published on Sunday, I screenshot numerous conversations within the show judging Boston's casual sex outside of relationships. And I also note that Boston is judged for having sex with people other than Nick -- Nick, to whom Boston wants to commit, and Nick won't commit back to Boston. But Boston is still judged for having sex outside of a relationship setting -- while Nick refuses to be in a relationship with Boston. This hypocritical messaging is extremely clear in the show. Boston is caught in a hypocritical catch-22 of judgement by his (idiot) former friends.

I don't know why Jojo larded Only Friends with these messages. I don't know Jojo. All I know is that Boston's resolution at being left alone by Nick, and being made to grovel to his group of friends, left a message that only monogamous couples were allowed to find happiness within the fictional sphere of the Only Friends series. There was no other transcendent indication that happiness of a kind that included casual sex existed in the fictional Only Friends universe. And that is a HELL of a message to send to young folks watching this show.

All I know about Jojo is that I've enjoyed some of his past works -- especially those that came with CLEAR messaging about topics he clearly feels strongly about, such as 3 Will Be Free and Dirty Laundry, and wealth and social disparities; Gay OK Bangkok, and sexual health and equality for Bangkok's queer community; and The Warp Effect, for sexual health awareness and women's reproductive freedom.

The notion that Only Friends was intended to not have a message is not only disingenuous. It's literally impossible by the ways in which communication works by way of art and human psychology. When we receive communication -- we receive messaging, full stop. It's up to us to learn how to deal with those messages.

(....which is why I write meta. I need to process the communication that I received from Only Friends, and that I'm still shocked by. Thanks to @lurkingshan for hearing these ramblings before I put fingers to keyboard.)

#only friends the series #only friends meta #only friends

[arcadekitten]

With the new year on the horizon and 10 completed games under my belt, I thought it might be fun to go through some projects that didn't make the cut and I ended up shelving for one reason or another! (It's only like, 2 of 'em but still)

The first is a game about Theodore and Zapara. While Tricks N Treats was my first finished + published RPGmaker game, I originally started testing things out with RPGM shortly after Cemetery Mary's release. The following game was meant to take place in the CM universe.

It was my first time using RPGMaker & it shows. It was also being made in VXAce, hence why proportions are so different from all my current projects. VXace uses 32x32 tiles whereas MV + above use 48x48. Trying to work within these limitations was a bit tricky for me

The (gif) footage you see above is all that exists of the game now(I didn't even screen record LOL). Back when my old laptop kicked it the files for this game went with it and I never cared to back them up. I don't consider it a hard loss though as by that point I had already moved on to bigger more polished projects and I didn't see myself returning to it any time soon(or at all).

The plot of the game was that Theo woke up in the night to hear Zapara leaving their apartment. When he goes to look for and finds her, she seems to want to avoid going back to the apartment for reasons she won't share. By the end of the game she confesses that she had a really realistic nightmare and she's scared if she goes back it will come true. Theo reassures her that he would never let her nightmare happen in reality, and so the two go back together. In the morning, we see Crowven texting them. They're making plans to go out to a club, when Crowven asks if his cousin can come along--tying it into CM.

I think if I made this game, it would've been cute, and maybe I'll even do something with the premise for a larger game, but I don't see myself trying to start this as a solo project again.

The next game that was shelved from when I was learning Unity & Adventure Creator. Patrons had seen previews it! I started this game as a tool to help me learn the programs, and it got shelved when I felt it was no longer teaching me but instead adding weight to my back.

Unlike the previous game, this is a game I COULD see myself starting again--probably using the same method I'm using for WISHMAKER in RPGM. This game is called "Dreary Elaine", and it's a bit interesting!

(ignore the reference PNG of Elaine here HAHA) This game, like WISHMAKER, is a point-and-click adventure game, where you play as the titular Elaine as she delivers party invitations to her neighbors.

The thing that makes Dreary Elaine interesting is that it is actually an offshoot of my other work! Mary Anta is a character that exists in the fictional world of Noisrev. Dreary Elaine is Mary's favorite childhood book series. A fictional world within a fictional world!

As I said above, this is a game that has the potential to come back one day--I'm just not currently sure when. But exploring the Elaine-verse is something that always appeals to me and who knows! Maybe I'll represent it more in my work going forward.

I think that's all for now? I hope it was fun to read through and I'm excited to have more (finished) games and art for you soon! ❤️

#cemetery mary #? #theo #theodore #zapara #elaine #arcadekitten #arcadekitt3n #art #my art #cain

[peachpety]

Upon reflecting this past year, I’m reminded of one area as a fandom citizen that i am lacking - reading fic. And so was born an idea to canvas my fandom family and friends to share with me a fic they've written, art they've created, a podfic they've recorded in 2023 of which they are most proud.

This two part 'rec yourself' list is the result.

Part One features Drarry creations (heavily featured since that's my OTP). Part Two (here) includes a kick-ass mix of various HP ships and ships from other fandoms, including Carry On, Check Please!, Good Omens, Teen Wolf, and Stranger Things. Also, and most importantly, each entry presents a smol blurb from the creator about why they chose their particular piece as their 2023 favorite.

For ease in reading, I've also placed all submitted works posted to AO3 into a filterable bookmark collection, Rec Yourself 2023. Be aware that there's a range of ratings and archive/creator tags, so please, take appropriate responsibility for your personal consumption. And please also be sure to shower the creators with kudos and lovely comments.

Y'all. This endeavor has been a fucking blast. One thing's for sure, I am blessed, humbled and honored to know a whole bunch of fantastic, brilliant, fun folks. Big love to you all, and thank you for participating.

So go forth. Indulge and enjoy! xo peach

* * *

✩ @pato-roldnart ✩ Quiet as a mouse HP | Viktor Krum x Ron Weasely | ART | G rating | Unleashed!Fest 2023 I'm quite proud of this one, I don't know how I made it, I had never drawn them before! My mind went full "oh yeah ronvik " Also, I like the idea of them bonding over their pets and Ron seeing that Viktor cares about something else that is not Quidditch.

✩ @tontonguetonks ✩ Coffee and a Croissant HP Next Gen | Scorpius x Albus | 903 FIC | G rating There are parts of myself and my lived experience in every story and character I write—how I socialize, how I take my coffee… I can’t help it. In *Coffee and a Croissant*, I put a lot of myself in my ace and autistic Albus. He is very dear to me in this story, and in my Fizzy Lifting Drinks drabble. The fic is just a toe-dip in the Soulmate waters where Albus grapples with what to do if he is someone’s Soulmate, but they’re not his. Parts 2 and 3 are in the works, but there is no timeline on either of them. Maybe in 2024?

✩ @crazybutgood ✩ I Bloom Pink For You HP | Narcissa Malfoy x Pansy Parkinson | 993 FIC + ORIGAMI COMIC | M rating | HP Bodice Ripper Fest 2023 This whole idea came about because I got so excited to fold a corset for hp bodice ripper fest, realised I couldn't just submit that one thing, and started brainstorming more loose ideas. It all clicked together when I was inspired by a fic by @schmem14, whose writing I adore. I was so grateful and even more excited when Em gave permission to make this. From there started the self-indulgent process of folding fancy things with fancier papers for this origami comic, and I couldn't have done it without Em and my lovely support team.

✩ @seekercass ✩ Something Cosmic HP | Cedric x Draco x Harry | 1.7k FIC | M rating | Polyship Week 2022 A self-rec that I am still extremely proud of is a short fic written for Polyshipping Week 2022 called Something Cosmic. It's a small coda to Something Good to Always Keep, another fic that I wrote for Quidditch Fest 2021 that I cherish very much. Even though writing is still hard for me these days, I often think about this 'verse and what life is like for Harry, Draco and Cedric after they graduated from Oxford. These three and slice of life bring me such joy. I hope to write more of them.

✩ @roseharpermaxwell ✩ Sounds Worth It HP | Hermione x Draco | 5k FIC | T rating | D/Hr Advent 2023 Being nominated for d/hr advent was a sweet surprise. It gave me a good excuse to remember how to write and the nudge I needed to create something this year.

✩ @basicallyahedgehog ✩ (They) Keep Me Warm HP | Hermione x Harry x Ron | 5.8k FIC | E rating | HP Trans Fest 2023 This was my transfest fic - I wrote it as a love letter to all my trans and Enby friends and as a way of processing some of my own feelings. It’s my first (and so far only) foray into poly golden trio and I loved playing with their dynamics with that added layer to their relationship.

✩ @lumosatnight ✩ For I Have Found Salvation HP | Harry x Severus | 7.1k FIC | E rating | Snarry AUctoberfest 2023 Although this is a smut fic at its core, I tried really hard to make the pacing flow, bringing in background characters, and creating memorable imagery. I am very proud of how it turned out. However, this is probably my favorite fic from 2023 simply for the fact that I had the most fun writing it!

✩ @sugareey-makes-stuff ✩ Feel You Breathing Teen Wolf | Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski | 8.4k TEXTING FIC | E rating | 2023 Year of the OTP This is my fav 2023 piece because I learned how to create a custom text message AO3 skin, stylize things for plain text reading, and I wrote a whole story  that had some plot that was told through text messages. Also, I did not know I could achieve so much spiciness and throw in so many bad pick-up lines through this medium, but hey, the more you know! XD

✩ @schmem14 ✩ Mastermind HP | Harry x Ron; Draco x Harry; Ron x Draco | 10.7k FIC | E rating | Dronarry Fest 2023 This is one of the few times a story just flew out of me. Possessive stalker Draco sets out to win over Ron in this creepy thriller, but there’s a catch: Ron is already in love with Draco’s boyfriend, Harry.

✩ @drwhoisginnyholmes & @fledglinger ✩ Not Bad, For A 6000 Year Old Classic! Good Omens | Aziraphale x Crowley | 11.8k FIC + ART | E rating | DIWS Reverse! Reverse! Mini Bang

✩ @sniperjade ✩ The Sounds of Us HP Marauders | Regulus x Remus | 20.4k FIC | M rating | Remus Lupin Fest 2023; HPFC Spring Fling 2023 I've been thinking about this for a couple of days and whilst I would really love to say it was the drarry I wrote for this fest last year my favourite would have to be this moonseeker I wrote for Remus Lupin Fest last year. It's my favourite because I lived this fic. It became the entirety of my personality for a whole month because I desperately needed to get to the chapter where Regulus was riding on Padfoots back, through the forbidden forest, with only the light of the full moon to guide them, just to try and help Remus. It's also just because it's very musical and I'm very musical so that makes me love it all the more.

✩ @ghaniblue ✩ Sleeping With Ghosts HP | Regulus x Draco x Harry | 21.9k FIC | M rating | Harry Potter Rare Pair Fest IV I posted a Regulus/Harry/Draco fic last month that I'm very fond of. I started writing it more than 1 1/2 years ago, before I ever read a single Regulus fic. It's triad fic, and I'm pretty proud of the way the individual relationships develop. That was important to me, and I think I succeeded. Posting the first fic on ao3 with this triad tag doesn't hurt either.

✩ @celilasart & @wolfspurr ✩ Shifted Teen Wolf | Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski | 25k FIC + ART | T rating | Sterek Reverse Bang This work was created for sterek reverse bang, a collaboration fest where the artists create first and the writers write second. wolfspurr and I just clicked when we talked about my art and the things that it inspired in their writer brain ;D the result is just an amazingly sweet and wholesome fic, that is still set in the teenwolf universe as we know it. but unlike many other fics which are full of violence and danger, this one starts with a bang and then it is a beautifully woven story of two people who just complete each other. also... the working title for my art was: tiny fox & sour wolf.

✩ @orange-peony ✩ At the speed of light Carry On | Basilton Pitch x Simon Snow | 26.3k FIC | E rating I picked [this fic] because I had a lot of fun writing it! It started off as a drabble and ended up 26k because I just had a blast writing it and the fandom support was so lovely. Last but not least, Pato made an absolutely stunning art piece for this fic, and it was the best present ever.

✩ @wynnyfryd ✩ i don’t know, you figure it out Stranger Things | Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson | 35.4k WIP FIC | E rating bragging about yourself is difficult, but i’ll just say it’s my favorite because i’m proud of myself for sticking to one project for this long, i love all the artwork the fic has inspired, and i just think the line “the river styx must taste like pennies” fucks severely lmao.

✩ @decaflondonfog ✩ growing pains Check Please! | Eric Bittle x Kent Parson | 50k FIC | T rating i am not usually a long fic gal, which i think is in part lack of patience, but also how attached i get to a universe if i’m working on it for a longer period of time. i finished writing this back in june but this fic felt very “me” in many ways and i think about them so often still  so it’s definitely my 2023 creation i’m proudest of!

#rec yourself 2023 #rec yourself part 2 #rec list #carry on #snowbaz #good omens #aziracrow #hp #dramione #dronarry #moonseeker #ronvik #scorbus #snarry #hermione x harry x ron #narcissa x pansy #regulus x draco x harry #omgcheckplease #bittyparse #stranger things #steddie #teen wolf #sterek

[thana-topsy]

Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.

Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.

I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.

I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.

Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.

And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.

Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.

Happy New Year!

#topsy's asks #long post

[shadale-s-safe-space]

I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

#murder drones #murder drones oc #artists on tumblr #digital painting

[ninjas-and-coffee]

I used to draw like this in highschool and wondered why nobody liked my art lmao

 💀 💀 💀

Old vs newish so i don't die of embarrasment.

So talking time. I was into Ninjago since like 2013. I got my first art tablet in like 2015 and it had 0 and i mean 0 pen pressure. Which didn't help that my process was basically copying other cooler people. Most of these came out 2017-2018 Like damn i remember Erraday, artcanary, maypong, blackcat(this one might be wrong it was a while ago.) Some older ones i forgot the name of. When the nindroid jay comic was out. "Proselytized"from Prpldragon.

I am just floored that i'm still here. And HOLY SHIT ART PROGRESS

For the record this blog is not that old. This blog was started in like 2020 after i accidentally deleted my entire fucking account. But that one was started in 2018 and before that I had another account as like Ninjaofsugar? ninjaofmagics? i don't remember from like 2016. And no you won't recognize my art, it was shit back then and very sporadic. Took me a long ass time to find myself. And build a style that wasn't following tutorials or borrowing cheats from others' speedpaints. Seriously I had like 6 different art/identity crisis' depending on who i was following at the time. like tinylightningninja, wlop, ryky, squira130, spinningninjas, rossdraws, feefal, ProNastya, Sakimichan, ninja-tiddy, and others lmao. So yeah. If you squint at my art now you can see exactly which artist inspired different pieces of my art. My self indulgent gradient of peach to blue, too many sparkles, body proportions, hair styling, etc. All eventually molded into something that is completely me while also being like 20 other things. lol

Umm also about to hit 1k (which has never happened to me before holy shit! i think ill do a dtiy with prizes this time.) Before i didn't have prizes cause i fear commitment and have a fear of failure. BUT i'm better now so yeah. Coffees1k Lets GO!

#ninjago #art progress #jay #lloyd #morro #coffee speaks #coffee doodles #pixal #kai #personal post #old vs new #im only tagging characters first names so i can find this post later #coffee art

[the-fiction-witch]

Nurse Y/n

Media - The Artful Dodger Character - Doctor Jack Dawkins Couple - Jack X Reader Reader - Nurse Y/n Rating - Flirty Word Count - 1413

I finished up work with a patient on the ward and I noticed Captain Gains arrived at the door, I tried not to let panic rise to my face given Fagin was upstairs in my room counting out the score from our last venture. But I did my best to merely act normal as he came through with his usual sit, cane and chipper smile.

"Mr Dawkins," he said,

"Doctor Dawkins," I corrected, 

"A quiet word?" 

"Trouble with the prostate?" I joked,

"If you could be so kind doctor," He glared,

"Yes course," I nodded, 

He led me to the stock room where he sat his book and pen, "Do sit down, doctor."

I sat down trying not to look sheepish, and the more I did the more I wondered if it was actually possible. Silence sat between us for a moment and I felt as If I wanted to break it, "What uhh... what is this concerning?" 

He didn't answer at first taking the time to fully extend his tongue from his mouth and lick the tip of his pen before he began his notes. "Nothing to worry about Doctor Dawkins, just a formality during our investigation," 

"What investigation?" I asked, 

"I am sure you have heard about these... dreadful atrocities in port victory." 

I relaxed a little, "Yes, of course. Been the talk of the town," I nodded, "Wretched, horrendous, accidents." 

"Apparently not." he said, "After much investigation, we have determined these... atrocities were not accidents,"

"Not- not accidents?" 

"No, we have determined in our investigation... that these were not accidents,"

"Ohh goodness..." 

"And we have determined they are likely the work... of a serial killer."

"oh... I see..." I nodded, "What... does that have to do with... our conversation today?"

"It is very obvious the body's damage was caused by someone with... medical knowledge." 

"Are you implying-"

"I am not implying anything doctor Dawkins," he said, "Merely asking questions,"

"Yes.. of course,"

"You wouldn't happen to have noticed any medical equipment going missing of late?"

"No, no, nothing of note."

"I see... you and Doctor Sneed are our two residents? there isn't another doctor lingering about?"

"No, Myself, Doctor Sneed and Prof. That's all," I explained,

"I see," He made a note, "Have you noticed any other changes in staff?"

"Ohh uhhh a couple of nurses retired last month and we brought in replacements,"

"Well, nothing to worry about there then. Would you be able to tell me where you were on the evening of the 17th?"

"Here." I answered, "Caring for my patients," I lied even though I was defiantly not here, I think on the 17th I was either down the cat and bagpipes stealing Darius' watch or possibly across town stealing Mrs Asterlynn's diamond necklace, 

"Yes... and various nurses and patients could collaborate on that,"

"Uhhh..." I scrambled, "Unfortunately the patients from then have all passed on," 

"Pity, your nurses then?" he asked, "I'm sure one of your nurses would be able to confirm your presence that evening," 

"Hetty, my head nurse would yes." I nodded hoping to god he wouldn't call my bluff because she was currently mad at me and I got the feeling she was at the right level of throwing me under the carriage mad, 

"I see... you're head nurse," He chuckled, "any others know you were here?"

"...ughhh... Yes." I lied, "The uhhh the new nurse." I said, as it suddenly hit me that the new nurse who works down in the morgue with Tim, the little one, always has pigtails, she had a day off on the 17th so she wouldn't know I wasn't here, "yes, the new nurse, she was at my side helping me all night, I was showing her the hospital and such," 

"I see, you don't mind I ask her of course. For the records." 

"...No, no of course not," I lied, 

"Good take me to her then," He said as he got up, 

I nodded and led him down the corridor trying to think of what the hell I was gonna do, why did I say that, why didn't I have a plan, what nurse could stand me enough not to get me hung, I couldn't ask hetty she's mad, and I already called her my head nurse so he's met her before... I saw the new nurse, the one who had the day so coming up from the morgue in her usual nurse's dress, with her hair in sweet pigtail braids, well I hope to god she plays along. "Nurse," I spoke up as I don't know her name yet...

She stopped and seemed puzzled as to why I was talking to her, "Yes Doctor Dawkins?"   

"Captain Gaines just wanted a word with you," I said, "About the 17th, when we were working... on the ward... together... all night..." 

She looked at Captain Gaines and then at me for a second seeming confused, "I'm sorry the 17th?"

"Yes, you know nurse when you and I were working on the ward together all night, and I showed you around, we cared for patients, did some paperwork..." I lied giving her a rather pleading look almost begging her to play along, 

"Oh, yes the 17th. of course." She nodded and I relaxed, "Yes of course what did you wish to ask me about Captain?" 

"You can confirm Doctor Dawkins was here in the hospital that night?"

She glanced at me and we shared a look, "Yes I can,"

"Really?"

"Yes Captain I swear on my life," she said putting her hand to her chest, "Doctor Dawkins was ever so kind to me, I only just started and he took the time that evening to give me a tour and run me through some procedures. Letting me shadow him for the evening,"

"And he didn't leave your sight all evening?"

"No Captain, we worked on the patients together until dawn," She smiled, 

"Yes we did, yes... never left my sight did you?" I asked,

"No, absolutely not," She smiled,

"And would there be other nurses that could confirm this?" He asked,

Ohh shit- "Ughhh well..."

"Well unfortunately," she said, "Most of our lovely nurses had already taken to bed given such a busy day, the few who were still working, I am sorry Captain but we were so busy popping around the hospital we don't recall any names of nurses still awake and I doubt they would remember us was given how short a time we were in one place," 

"Right," he made his notes,

Hum... damn she's good, I glanced over at her and she gave me an innocent little smile, 

"I see, it's interesting who you two were working all evening, together, and yet not a single other nurse or patient can confirm such information," 

"Well, admittedly a lot of our work was... down in the morgue." I lied,

"Yes, down in the morgue popping up for other business of course," she smiled,

"So you were alone, in the morgue together?" he asked,

"Yes..." I nodded,

"And what work were you doing, exactly? For the records?"

"I believe that is our business Captain," she smiled her hands slipping around my arm, 

I looked down at her a little confused about what she was doing but as she laid her head on my shoulder it clicked... oohhh... she's going that angle with it... smart. Certainly explains us being alone together. 

"I see. Thank you. Any other questions I'll be sure to ask," He nodded folding up his notebook and heading away, 

As soon as he was gone I let out a sigh, "Thank you, nurse,"

"You're welcome," she smiled, "Figured you were in a spot of bother," 

"Yeah think I was for a second..." I sighed, 

"What did he want?"

"I think... he thinks I have something to do with the deaths in town,"

"I see... do you?"

"No! Of course not!" I protested, "I was just out doing... other business,"

"Understandable then," she nodded,

"What about you?"

"Humm?"

"You were gone then?"

"I was,"

"Do you... have anything to do with his?"

"Doctor Dawkins how are you insinuating such a thing," she faked protested, "No no, I had... other business too,"

"I see," I nodded, "You uhh you don't have to hold my arm anymore you know,"

"I know," she shrugged, "you're kinda comfy," 

"ohhh ughh thanks," I blushed a little, "you uhhh you're... kinda cute." 

"Thank you," she giggled, "Well if you need a cover story again, you know where to find me, Doctor Dawkins," she smiled as she tapped my arm and headed off down the hall,

"Ughh yeah, wait! Ughh what's your name again?"

"Y/n!" She yelled back before turning the corner, 

"Hu... Nurse Y/n," I smiled a little before I headed up to my room. 

#tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomasbrodiesangster #tbs smut #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster imagine #tbs #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie sangster smut #jackdawkins #jack imagines #jack #jack dawkins #jack dawkins x reader #doctor jack dawkins #doctor dawkins #the artful dodger jack dawkins #the artful dodger #thearttfuldodger #theartfuldogger #jack x reader

[unexpectedstormy]

Why Podfics are Important

A big part of why I like podfics so much is because to me it is an accessibility feature. There are times when I cannot look at a screen due to light sensitivity or I don't have spoons/brainpower to interact on Tumblr or or I'm too unfocused to read a fic but I still wanna be distracted and think about blorbos and podfics are perfect for that.

The problem is that there aren't very many of them.

When I first discovered them, I filtered for LU fics with no smut or MCD and there were only like 27 podfics. I listened to all of them in about 2 days. I was disappointed there weren't more, but the ones that were there were all excellent. So I asked myself why not try my hand at making them?

It took me about a week to figure out how to record audio, edit, where and how to host it, and how to link to AO3; and now that I know how to do it, I can record and post a fic in a couple of hours. You don't get alot of attention or fanfare for doing it--podfics are nowhere near as popular as ordinary fics, but it's a public service and its just plain fun. Actually its addicting. Every time I finish recording and posting a podfic my brain is like a sled dog pulling on a rope begging "More! Do more podfics!"

In an ideal world, I think every fic should have a podfic version. It would benefit everyone, not just disabled people. Not only are they good for low spoons time, they're also great for ordinary times when you're doing chores or riding the bus or something and you want something to listen to, just like you would listen to any other podcast. Not to mention the fact that by making podfics, you get to learn the valuable modern skill of recording audio and posting it.

I have a motto: "Try anything once," meaning, I'm game to try out learning any new thing and there's no commitment to do it long term or even do it more than that one time. Its just fun to learn and experiment. I've been trying a new thing every year for the past several years and have had fun gaining a bunch of oddball jack-of-all-trades skills like slacklining, longboarding, watercolor, digital art, and podfics.

I'd like to encourage everyone to try making a podfic and seeing how they like it (it does take a couple of podfics to really get your feet under you though). If you like it, or if you're willing and able to, making more podfics would be an invaluable service to provide for the fandom. And if you can't make podfics for whatever reason, why not just listen to a podfic and drop a kudos or comment or something to let the person doing them know that you appreciate it?

If anyone wants to know how to podfic, please feel free to reach out to me and I'll do what I can to help. Also, I'll be putting together a "how to make a podfic" post in the near future so keep an eye out for that.

#reposting this because something went wrong with the last time I posted it #podfic #fanfiction #linked universe