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chainofclovers · 3 years

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Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

#grace and frankie #meta by me #grace and frankie s7 spoilers #a lesbian watches ted lasso #grace hanson is a gay disaster #except #she's not even a disaster anymore #she's totally fine and men keep bothering her!#frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess

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backtothestart02 · 3 years

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If Only She Knew - 9/10 | westallen fanfiction

A/N: It’s been a million yeaarrssss!!!! But finally I got this chap out. I hope you enjoy it as much as it stresses you out. lol. Happy reading!

Commissioned by @shalanda83

...

Chapter 9 -

Barry was wrong.

He was so, so wrong about Iris.

He’d thought he would have to combat her being super touchy-feely like they were as far back as he could remember. If things were really back to normal between them, that’s exactly what he would have had to endure.

Not that it was bad, of course. It was just inconvenient, awkward and embarrassing with him getting aroused at literally anything Iris did that was remotely close to him or in his line of vision. It happened with other girls too, of course, but to a much lesser degree.

Anyway, as it turned out, he didn’t have to worry about her so much as brushing her knee against his leg, because Iris made it her mission to stay as far away as possible from him in the backseat of the car.

And he knew it was her mission, because he could feel the tension rolling off of her in waves from the minute he refused to stretch out in the backseat of the car due to his injuries, in which case she would’ve simply sat in the front passenger seat across from her dad.

His brows had furrowed instantly with suspicion.

“I’ve got Neosporin and bandages on, Iris. I don’t think I need the whole backseat to stretch out in.” He continued before her parting lips could interrupt him. “Besides, it feels better when my knees are slightly bent. And I wouldn’t be able to put my seatbelt on either.”

I wouldn’t get to sit next to you floated around in his head, but he didn’t say it. He didn’t know if that would be too touchy a thing to say after they’d just gotten past – or so he thought – the kiss that he should have reciprocated.

Because for all his fears of embarrassing arousal, Barry still wanted to sit next to his best friend. And he did love her. He just had to find a way to tell her without her shutting him down.

“What’s that about not putting on a seatbelt?” Joe asked, as he approached the car.

“Nothing,” the two of them muttered.

“Uh-huh. Backseat. Both of you,” he ordered, and Barry did not think he’d ever seen Iris be so grumpy to sit in the backseat with him before.

Now Barry did stretch his legs out a little bit into the floorspace on Iris’ side. His legs were quite long after all, and he did need them at a certain angle for his wounds, even with antibiotic cream and bandaids couldn’t dim the pain of completely.

“Sorry, Iris,” he mumbled, as Joe started the car. “I guess-”

“No worries,” she insisted brightly, though an I told you so was probably stifled with the rolling eyes she didn’t think he saw.

Iris knew best, he guessed, but he was still glad she was in the back seat with him.

When a good five minutes passed, and Iris hadn’t so much as kept both butt cheeks in her seat, practically plastering herself against the door and sticking her head out the window awkwardly, Barry grew impatient and had to say something.

“Iris.”

She started humming. That, in addition to the wind blowing over her ears and through her wild locks, should’ve been enough to convince him that she couldn’t hear him. And so she wouldn’t be at fault in the least for not responding to his saying her name.

Or at least that’s what she was probably hoping he was thinking, but he was not stupid. Iris had excellent hearing. It was why she insisted she’d be a great cop one day. One of the reasons at least.

“Iris,” he said again, fighting the urge to tense up and pull her all the back into the car.

Touching her was a bad idea, but so was her ignoring him.

She only hummed louder, and that was all the confirmation Barry needed to know it was deliberate.

He kept his fuming at bay, and instead took a risk and reached for her knee. He’d just been planning to briefly touch it to get her attention in a way she couldn’t pretend to be unaware of. But just as his hand hovered over the gentle curve, her head swiftly turned back to look at him, unintentionally wacking her head on the top of the window frame.

“What are you – ow! – doing?” She rubbed her head, coming back inside and hesitantly sitting all the way down on the seat.

“Trying to get your attention,” he said. “Are you okay?” He frowned.

“I’d be just fine if you hadn’t tried to touch me,” she growled, and a moment later she seemed to realize she’d said the words out loud instead of keeping them in her head, because horror flashed across her face. He knew she was afraid she’d ruined everything again.

“Oh, Barry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay, Iris,” he said. “I just uh…your seatbelt, the top part, it isn’t across your-” He started to blush a deep red as he realized his eyes were glued to her chest. He forced his gaze up into her eyes, but that was almost worse. He squeaked when he continued. “It’s behind you. Shouldn’t…Shouldn’t it be in front?” He cleared his throat, so his voice would normalize. “I mean, for safety.”

Iris stared at him as if she hadn’t heard a word he’d just said. Then the words apparently clicked, and she responded.

“Right. Of course.” She forced a smile. “Thanks, Barry.”

“Uh-huh.”

He looked up towards the front and found Joe staring at him through the rearview mirror.

“We almost there, Joe?” he asked, willing the red in his face to disappear at least to a very light pink.

“About halfway,” Joe said. Barry could hear the suspicion in his voice, but he didn’t say anything more, and for that, Barry was grateful.

Iris licked her lips beside him.

“Why don’t you roll down your window, Barry? It’s nice outside.”

“I’m too tall, Iris,” he whined, not bothering to analyze how that made a lick of sense.

Iris frowned but said nothing more and leaned back against her side of the car, not sticking her head out again but not paying attention to Barry either.

Barry decided it was for the best, since he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He didn’t want her to catch on, so he didn’t watch how the wind blew through the hair framing her face or the slight goosebumps that decorated her arms. No, instead his stayed glued to the knee he’d almost touched and the thighs just above that he imagined were smooth as a baby’s bottom.

An interesting metaphor, but he couldn’t think of another one.

He wanted to touch her.

He wanted to touch her so badly.

And she thought he didn’t like her.

Fuck, he thought, not even feeling guilty when the swear word passed through his mind.

Because truly, fuck.

…

On arrival, Hope Town Mountain did look pretty spectacular.

There were shops and boats and carriage rides, bicyclists and kayakers and shops galore. There was a long road of vendors that ended and began with a large log cabin gift shop that included concessions, and the lake was absolutely stunning as it sparkled in the sun.

Barry knew Iris would want to go shopping, and that he couldn’t go with her because of his knees. He frowned on the realization, because even though he wasn’t particularly fond of carrying a multitude of bags on his arms, he loved seeing Iris buzz with energy and be overcome with the happiness of new discoveries. And he was going to miss that.

“I vote we go boating!” Iris announced, and Barry wondered if she’d seen his downcast face. “You have your boating license, right dad?”

Joe grinned, turning around in his seat after parking the car.

“I sure do. We can take one of the bigger motorboats out into the middle of the lake, and you two can relax while I sleep.”

“Iris, are you sure?” Barry asked. “I mean, we’ve been sitting for half an hour. Don’t you want to stretch your legs? Do some shopping?”

She pushed past it immediately.

“Nope. I can shop any time,” she insisted. “I want you to have a good time too.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but this time Iris stopped him.

“Trust me, my dad does not want to follow me around for an hour while I shop to my heart’s content and he carries my bags.”

“No thank you,” Joe concurred.

Barry managed to laugh at that.

“Alright. Let’s go get a boat then.”

Excited now, Iris grabbed his hands and squeezed them, making his stomach flip and his heart flutter. He swallowed inconspicuously so she wouldn’t notice.

She squealed and released his hands, spilling out of the car with one hop after she unbuckled her belt. He did the same, but it was slower, more gradual, and he winced slightly when he was standing again.

“Is it far?” Barry asked.

Iris frowned. “Just down the way… my Dad will help you.”

Joe stepped out of the car, locked up, and wrapped one of Barry’s arms over his shoulders.

“Come on, son, we’ll get there.”

…

It was a little trickier than expected, and in the end Iris wound up wrapping her arm around Barry’s waist to assist somewhat.

“Oh, Iris, you don’t have to-”

“Shut up, Barry. I’m helping.”

He groaned, hoping her arm wouldn’t slip down to his hip or lower on accident – you never know! Because then he’d be a dead man walking. Or falling rather. Because he would fall, flat on his face.

“Don’t tell that girl no, son,” Joe remarked, chuckling, and Barry wanted to die.

He let them assist to the halfway point though where the first dock on the lake was located. Then Joe left to rent out the boat and get the lifejackets and pull the boat over to this side of the lake so Barry wouldn’t have to walk much farther.

“This is going to be great, Barry. You’ll see.”

He looked over at her and managed a smile with how happy she was acting.

“You’re happy,” he noted.

“Of course I am,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well…considering the last 24 hours…”

She shook her head. “I’m past that.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, of course.” She looked nervous though. “Why are you even asking?”

“The car ride,” he blurted.

Better to get this out now than later when it could potentially cause problems.

“I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to come on to you again is all,” she mumbled, but Barry heard every word.

“Iris…” He took her hand, and she let him. “We’ve always been close. Since we were kids. It’s not weird for me when you touch me. It’s weird when you don’t.”

She laughed a little nervously, then tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

“Noted.”

She looked up into his eyes and smiled. He looked back, all the love in his heart pouring into his gaze.

God, I just want to tell you…how I feel…how you make me feel!

Then, do it, the ornery voice in his head combatted. And don’t mess it up this time.

“Iris, I…”

He started to lean in before he could tell her what was in his heart, and much to his surprise Iris’ expression wasn’t troubled but elated. She was hopeful, that they were finally on the same page maybe. Or so she hoped. He hoped too. Oh, wouldn’t it be just so perfect if-

A horn blasted just as Barry was about to close his eyes, and a bicyclist sped by. What felt like a millisecond later, Joe drove up in the boat and called out to them.

Barry was still processing the interruption.

“Oh, there he is! And look, we don’t have to walk too far!”

“I-Iris, wait!” he called out after she took off.

“Oh, right, I forgot.”

She came back and helped him to his feet and together they started to hobble over to the dock.

“I was going to” He sucked in a breath. “Tell you” He sucked in another. “Something.”

“So tell me,” she ground out, fighting for her own breath as he put some of his weight on her.

This was how he was going to tell her? With him clumsily bearing his weight down on her as they hopped over to the boat where Joe was waiting for them?

He couldn’t do that. It had to be special.

But what if he waited too long and lost his chance?

He couldn’t do that either.

“Here you go!” Joe flung two lifejackets at them once they reached the dock.

Somewhat agitated, Barry put his on. Iris was in the boat with hers on before he could blink.

His brows furrowed, then he registered both Wests holding their hands out for him to grab onto.

“Come on, son,” Joe said, and Barry refocused on the task of getting into the boat with wounded knees.

It hurt, but he managed it, and soon enough he was sitting with Iris in the front of the boat while Joe steered it out into the huge lake from the back.

“Okay, what were you going to say?” Iris asked, turning to look at her best friend, her eyes gleaming.

“Huh?” Joe called.

“Not you, Dad!” Iris rolled her eyes. “Barry was about to tell me something.”

“Oh, my bad. Carry on.”

Barry felt his face grow hot again. He couldn’t do it like this either. Not with Joe here possibly eavesdropping. And he couldn’t wait till he fell asleep either, could he? A snoring Joe West as background noise to his love confession?

Impossible.

So when Iris shook her head and laughed before sobering up and asked him to tell her again, he knew with every fiber of his being that he was going to ruin it.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he said, his lips thinning as his eyes avoided hers.

“No, come on, Barry, you can tell me.”

Her eyes pleaded with him to tell her, as if she somehow knew or hoped she knew, and if he didn’t tell her now she was going to doubt his all over again.

He swallowed.

“No, really, Iris. It’s nothing important.”

Her smile fell. “Oh.”

“Nothing that can’t wait,” he said.

She nodded and forced a smile then, taking his hand as she relaxed into the seat and urged him to relax too.

“Friends then.”

He hated, hated, hated himself as he let the word spill out of his mouth.

“Friends.”

...

*will be posted on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.

#westallen #fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #if only she knew #chapter 9 #teen au #camping

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sleepy-frog-sleeping · 3 years

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oh lol I can send you an ask,, huh so that’s how I do this. damn what could I spam you with. oh. I know.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!

Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

Barry?

Adam?

Can you believe this is happening?

I can't.

I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

You got lint on your fuzz.

Ow! That's me!

Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

Hey, Adam.

Hey, Barry.

Is that fuzz gel?

A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school, three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.

You did come back different.

Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

Hear about Frankie?

Yeah.

You going to the funeral?

No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.

Well, Adam, today we are men.

We are!

Bee-men.

Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!

Will we pick our job today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.

Wonder what it'll be like?

A little scary.

Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.

Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!

That girl was hot.

She's my cousin!

She is?

Yes, we're all cousins.

Right. You're right.

At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.

What do you think he makes?

Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.

What does that do?

Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

Can anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.

But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?

Why would you question anything? We're bees.

We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Check it out.

Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like outside The Hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

Hey, Jocks!

Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

I wonder where they were.

I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.

You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.

Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.

Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!

Oh, my!

I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh?

Barry!

A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.

Maybe I am.

You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?

Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

Well, there's a lot of choices.

But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?

That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

You're gonna be a stirrer?

No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

We're starting work today!

Today's the day.

Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!

Step to the side.

What'd you get?

Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Couple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

You want to go first?

No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.

Any chance of getting the Krelman?

Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...

What happened to you?

Where are you?

I'm going out.

Out? Out where?

Out there.

Oh, no!

I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

Look at that.

Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

Thank you.

OK.

You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!

That's awful.

And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

Antennae, check.

Nectar pack, check.

Wings, check.

Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.

It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

Ever see pollination up close?

No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.

See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Cool.

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those?

Copy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good.

Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Chemical-y.

Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Candy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

Guys!

This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Coming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don't think these are flowers.

Should we tell him?

I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!

Yowser!

Gross.

There's a bee in the car!

Do something!

I'm driving!

Hi, bee.

He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

Ken, could you close the window please?

Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out.

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

What was that?

Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes!

That is diabolical.

It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What's number one? Star Wars?

Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff.

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.

When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.

I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.

Wait! Stop! Bee!

Stand back. These are winter boots.

Wait!

Don't kill him!

You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!

Why does his life have less value than yours?

Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.

My brochure!

There you go, little guy.

I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

My whole face could puff up.

Make it one of your special skills.

Knocking someone out is also a special skill.

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?

Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

You could put carob chips on there.

Bye.

Supposed to be less calories.

Bye.

I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.

All right, here it goes.

Nah.

What would I say?

I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to.

Oh, I can't do it. Come on!

No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.

How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

Hi!

I'm sorry. You're talking.

Yes, I know.

You're talking!

I'm so sorry.

No, it's OK. It's fine.

I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.

Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.

This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!

I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me.

And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.

That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee.

Yeah.

I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!

I just want to say I'm grateful.

I'll leave now.

Wait! How did you learn to do that?

What?

The talking thing.

Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.

That's very funny.

Yeah.

Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.

Anyway... Can I... get you something?

Like what?

I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee?

I don't want to put you out.

It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.

It's just coffee.

I hate to impose.

Don't be ridiculous!

Actually, I would love a cup.

Hey, you want rum cake?

I shouldn't.

Have some.

No, I can't.

Come on!

I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.

Where?

These stripes don't help.

You look great!

I don't know if you know anything about fashion.

Are you all right?

No.

He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.

He finally gets there.

He runs up the steps into the church.

The wedding is on.

And he says, "Watermelon?

I thought you said Guatemalan.

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

Is that a bee joke?

That's the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different.

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

About work? I don't know.

I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want.

I know how you feel.

You do?

Sure.

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

Really?

My only interest is flowers.

Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.

Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?

You're in Sheep Meadow!

Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!

No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.

Why do girls put rings on their toes?

Why not?

It's like putting a hat on your knee.

Maybe I'll try that.

You all right, ma'am?

Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!

Anyway, this has been great.

Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it's no trouble.

Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.

Are you...?

Can I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

Thanks!

Yeah.

All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.

OK, Barry.

And thank you so much again... for before.

Oh, that? That was nothing.

Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...

This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.

We may as well try it.

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

Sounds amazing.

It was amazing!

It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.

Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!

Giant, scary humans!

What were they like?

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

They eat crazy giant things.

They drive crazy.

Do they try and kill you, like on TV?

Some of them. But some of them don't.

How'd you get back?

Poodle.

You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.

You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.

Well...

Well?

Well, I met someone.

You did? Was she Bee-ish?

A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!

No, no, no, not a wasp.

Spider?

I'm not attracted to spiders.

I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face.

So who is she?

She's... human.

No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.

Her name's Vanessa.

Oh, boy.

She's so nice. And she's a florist!

Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!

We're not dating.

You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life! And she understands me.

This is over!

Eat this.

This is not over! What was that?

They call it a crumb.

It was so stingin' stripey!

And that's not what they eat.

That's what falls off what they eat!

You know what a Cinnabon is?

No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...

Sit down!

...really hot!

Listen to me!

We are not them! We're us.

There's us and there's them!

Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?

There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!

You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!

Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

There he is. He's in the pool.

You know what your problem is, Barry?

I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on?

It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.

What life? You have no life!

You have no job. You're barely a bee!

Would it kill you to make a little honey?

Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.

Martin, would you talk to him?

Barry, I'm talking to you!

You coming?

Got everything?

All set!

Go ahead. I'll catch up.

Don't be too long.

Watch this!

Vanessa!

We're still here.

I told you not to yell at him.

He doesn't respond to yelling!

Then why yell at me?

Because you don't listen!

I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.

Where are you going?

I'm meeting a friend.

A girl? Is this why you can't decide?

Bye.

I just hope she's Bee-ish.

They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?

To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!

Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?

No. All right, I've got one.

How come you don't fly everywhere?

It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.

Yeah, OK, I see, I see.

All right, your turn.

TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that?

We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.

Oh, my.

Dumb bees!

You must want to sting all those jerks.

We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.

So you have to watch your temper.

Very carefully.

You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.

Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?

Yeah.

What is wrong with you?!

It's a bug.

He's not bothering anybody.

Get out of here, you creep!

What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?

Yeah, it was. How did you know?

It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.

You've really got that down to a science.

I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.

I'll bet.

What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select?

Is he that actor?

I never heard of him.

Why is this here?

For people. We eat it.

You don't have enough food of your own?

Well, yes.

How do you get it?

Bees make it.

I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!

There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!

It's organic.

It's our-ganic!

It's just honey, Barry.

Just what?!

Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!

You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!

And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.

I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!

Hey, Hector. You almost done?

Almost.

He is here. I sense it.

Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.

You're busted, box boy!

I knew I heard something.

So you can talk!

I can talk. And now you'll start talking!

Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?

I don't understand.

I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want to do is upset bees!

You're too late! It's ours now!

You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!

You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!

Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where!

Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!

Crazy person!

What horrible thing has happened here?

These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now

they're on the road to nowhere!

Just keep still.

What? You're not dead?

Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.

I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!

I'm going to Tacoma.

And you?

He really is dead.

All right.

Uh-oh!

What is that?!

Oh, no!

A wiper! Triple blade!

Triple blade?

Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!

Why does everything have

to be so doggone clean?!

How much do you people need to see?!

Open your eyes!

Stick your head out the window!

From NPR News in Washington,

I'm Carl Kasell.

But don't kill no more bugs!

Bee!

Moose blood guy!!

You hear something?

Like what?

Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.

Whassup, bee boy?

Hey, Blood.

Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.

Wow!

I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.

Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in.

It's a close community.

Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.

What if you get in trouble?

You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!

At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.

Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.

You got to be kidding me!

Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!

Hey, guys!

Mooseblood!

I knew I'd catch y'all down here.

Did you bring your crazy straw?

We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.

What is this place?

A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.

They are pinheads!

Pinhead.

Check out the new smoker.

Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000!

Smoker?

Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.

They make the honey, and we make the money.

"They make the honey, and we make the money"?

Oh, my!

What's going on? Are you OK?

Yeah. It doesn't last too long.

Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?

Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.

This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen!

What is this?

Oh, no!

There's hundreds of them!

Bee honey.

Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!

This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.

Oh, Barry, stop.

Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.

Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this?

He's been talking to humans.

What? Talking to humans?!

He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!

Make out? Barry!

We do not.

You wish you could.

Whose side are you on?

The bees!

I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?

I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!

Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked

your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.

I remember that.

What right do they have to our honey?

We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

Sting them where it really hurts.

In the face! The eye!

That would hurt.

No.

Up the nose? That's a killer.

There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.

Hive at Five, The Hive's only full-hour action news source.

No more bee beards!

With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung.

Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.

And I'm Jeanette Ohung.

A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally!

Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.

Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from The Hive. I can't do this"?

Bees have never been afraid to change the world.

What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.

How old are you?

The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century.

You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.

It's a common name. Next week...

He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...

Next week...

Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.

Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.

Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.

In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!

It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

Honey, her backhand's a joke!

I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

Quiet, please.

Actual work going on here.

Is that that same bee?

Yes, it is!

I'm helping him sue the human race.

Hello.

Hello, bee.

This is Ken.

Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

Why does he talk again?

Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.

But it's our yogurt night!

Bye-bye.

Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!

Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.

Frosting...

How many sugars?

Just one. I try not to use the competition.

So why are you helping me?

Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.

Those are great, if you're three.

And artificial flowers.

Oh, those just get me psychotic!

Yeah, me too.

Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!

Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.

Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.

This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.

I guess.

You sure you want to go through with it?

Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!

It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.

What have we gotten into here, Barry?

It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.

You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?

Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.

What's the matter?

I don't know, I just got a chill.

Well, if it isn't the bee team.

You boys work on this?

All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.

All right. Case number 4475,

Superior Court of New York,

Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session.

Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?

A privilege.

Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?

I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.

Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean.

I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches!

Talking bee!

How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?

They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids!

Mr. Benson?

Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives.

Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!

I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are!

I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!

Call your first witness.

So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.

I suppose so.

I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!

Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.

Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.

I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?

No.

I couldn't hear you.

No.

No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

You mean like this?

Bears kill bees!

How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away.

So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. Where have I heard it before?

I was with a band called The Police.

But you've never been a police officer, have you?

No, I haven't.

No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.

Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

That's not his real name?! You idiots!

Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.

Thank you. Thank you.

I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.

I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?

Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!

This isn't a goodfella.

This is a badfella!

Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!

Order in this court!

You're all thinking it!

Order! Order, I say!

Say it!

Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side.

Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.

Right. Well, here's to a great team.

To a great team!

Well, hello.

Ken!

Hello.

I didn't think you were coming.

No, I was just late I tried to call, but... the battery.

I didn't want all this to go to waste,

so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

Oh, that was lucky.

There's a little left. I could heat it up.

Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit. Right... there.

Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

You think I don't see what you're doing?

I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.

Do we?

Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

That's just what I was thinking about doing.

Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

I'm going to drain the old stinger.

Yeah, you do that.

Look at that.

You know, I've just about had it with your little Mind Games.

What's that?

Italian Vogue.

Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

A lot of ads.

Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?

Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here!

I love the smell of flowers.

How do you like the smell of flames?!

Not as much.

Water bug! Not taking sides!

Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat!

This is pathetic!

I've got issues!

Well, well, well, a royal flush!

You're bluffing.

Am I?

Surf's up, dude!

Poo water!

That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings!

Kenneth! What are you doing?!

You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!

We need to talk! He's just a little bee!

And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life?

No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!

Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.

And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!

I'm sorry about all that.

I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!

I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well.

Are you OK for the trial?

I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.

We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...

Yeah.

Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.

Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.

You got the tweezers?

Are you allergic?

Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.

What exactly is your relationship to that woman?

We're friends.

Good friends?

Yes.

How good? Do you live together?

Wait a minute... Are you her little... bedbug?

I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?

Yeah, but...

So those aren't your real parents!

Oh, Barry...

Yes, they are!

Hold me back!

You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?

He's denouncing bees!

Don't y'all date your cousins?

Objection!

I'm going to pincushion this guy!

Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit!

Order! Order!

The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!

Adam, stay with me.

I can't feel my legs.

What Angel of Mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?

I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please!

The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed Turn Against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

Hey, buddy.

Hey.

Is there much pain?

Yeah.

I... I blew the whole case, didn't I?

It doesn't matter. What matters is

you're alive. You could have died.

I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it.

What was it like to sting someone?

I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!

All right.

You think it was all a trap?

Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.

What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.

What will the humans do to us if they win?

I don't know.

I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.

Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!

Oh, my.

Could you get a nurse to close that window?

Why?

The smoke.

Bees don't smoke.

Right. Bees don't smoke.

Bees don't smoke!

But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case!

It is? It's not over?

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.

And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.

Mr. Flayman.

Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

Where is the rest of your team?

Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time.

I actually heard a funny story about...

Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?

They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.

I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!

Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.

But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Where is your proof?

Where is the evidence?

Show me the smoking gun!

Hold it, Your Honor!

You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun.

What is that?

It's a bee smoker!

What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.

Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps?

Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?

What are we gonna do?

He's playing the species card.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!

Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees!

The court finds in favor of the bees!

Vanessa, we won!

I knew you could do it! High-five!

you did not just send me the entire script to the bee movie

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bluejaywriter · 3 years

Text

Guess who re-listened to the entire ZSJL (all 4 hours)

Me. The answer is me.

Thoughts while listening to ZSJL the second time:

Intro/Part 1: “Should be called “The Amazons””

1. Philippus got the first line of ZSJL (“Alert the Queen!”), unless you count Clark going “URRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH” fifty times, or the Amazons going “OOH-AHH! when the motherbox first goes off.

2. Bruce “Vain” trolololol you probably think this movie’s about you, don’t you, don’t you

3. I wish they did more with Lois in this movie. I was pretty happy with what they gave to Iris and Elinore and the Amazons, but Lois did seem pretty stuck in her “mourning for Superman” mode. Which, okay. But also, ehh.

4. Also I only know Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds from that one Harry Potter scene.

5. Has anyone actually counted how many times the Ancient Lamentation Music™ shows up.

6. Why does Wondy’s theme have a cooler synth in this movie than in her movie that’s literally set in the 80s.

7. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Hippolyta? I should mention it more often. She deserves good things (better things than this damn universe seems to want her to have :P).

8. I love that Menalippe is the one calling the Amazons back to their marks. That’d be Antiope’s job if she were here :(

9. Damn even the Amazons get a cool synth theme.

10. But it really is interesting that Junkie XL went with a synth instead of just a straight-up orchestral sound, or even the more tribal sound he seemed to be going for in other parts.

11. I appreciate that the Amazon fighting sounds aren’t like… you know. How most female fighting sounds are in media.

Part 2: “Artemis needs her own movie”

12. I don’t like Steppenwolf’s voice

13. God I’m so glad they got rid of all the Joss lines :P

14. You’d think after 100 years in Man’s World, Diana would have some better excuses up her sleeve e.g. “I sat inside reading a book all weekend” or “I watched a vintage TV show” like God, Diana. Do better.

15. Every time they say “quarantine” in this movie I feel things I’m not supposed to feel.

16. I still don’t get the Aquaman song when he’s taking off his shirt. It just… is a weird fit.

17. I’m glad we got an Aquaman movie before this. It… would’ve been confusing without it. Like, who’s this random long-haired dude.

18. “Dessad, Dessad, I call to thee” is how I start Zoom calls now.

19. I really like Dessad’s voice. It just… it’s nasally enough to be, oh so it’s this character. You just know who he is from the moment he speaks.

20. I dislike WonderBat very strongly but like. Ehh. I get that people like it, and it’s more canon-supported than any of my ships, that’s for sure.

21. I kind of wish we’d gotten the scene where the Amazon turns into a parademon. Or whoever it was.

22. Just listening to the movie makes me realize how grunty Darkseid is. I wish he had some language (maybe he is speaking Apokoliptian? And I’m just uneducated?).

Part 3: “Ray Fisher needs to do audiobooks”

23. I think Barry/Iris’ song is the first one I felt like the pop song really worked with the scene.

24. The football scene was the first part in the movie where I was like, okay the soundtrack is pretty good. It’s not as strong or memorable as Hans Zimmer’s on the last two Snyder DC films, but it does a reasonably good job supporting the film.

25. Ray Fisher has such a beautiful voice.

26. The whole Cyborg sequence is one of my favorite things ever. 2nd or 3rd favorite scene after the Speedforce.

27. I don’t have a lot of patience for Barry, in general. He’s less awkward than in the Josstice League, but he’s still on thin ice.

28. I feel like Arthur’s background scenes are the weakest overall. It might be because we got an entire Aquaman movie, but I also feel like I would’ve been really confused if I hadn’t seen that movie first.

Part 4: “Exposition and stuff”

29. There’s really not a lot of dialogue in this movie. Like. A LOT of things are just visual storytelling. It makes just listening to the movie interesting.

30. Okay, but did anyone else think that Martha Kent had a stronger Southern accent in her scene with Lois? Like, I know it’s someone trying to do his best impression of a Kansas farmer, but... like, sometimes in the past movies she’ll have a slight Midwestern twang, but it’s never quite Southern, and it’s throwing me off.

30. I… get that Superman is like the big deal but it really doesn’t make sense to me that the Apokoliptians never came back in the 5000ish years that Superman WASN’T active. I mean he was only Supermanning for what, less than two years? You literally have a 5000 year-old warrior on your team, I wonder how we can utilize that time frame in a way that make more sense... :P

Part 5: “But what if I don’t care about Superman”

31. I just feel like the part where they’re bringing Superman back is the most boring part lol

32. I also don’t like that Lois JUST gets back on her feet and then… Clark shows up again surprise motherfucker

33. I’m curious what the point was of Aquaman pushing against waking up the Motherbox and Bruce pushing back. Like. Does anything come from that.

34. Okay. This is 1.5 years of writing the Goddess of Death talking, but I kind of strongly dislike that they brought Clark back like this instead of doing the honorable thing and actually going to the Underworld to beg for him back. Like. The JL honestly deserved to get their assess kicked for trying to cheat Death like that. Also it would’ve been cathartic for Arthur’s “no one getting back without trading one in return” line to come into fruition with Bruce dying and then Clark getting his memories back immediately afterward when Lois appeared. Take that Batman

35. Batman, you dumb fuck, the safeword isn’t “Clark” or “This world needs you” it’s “SAVE MARTHA”

36. I’m bored.

Part 6: “The Flash scene”

37. Honestly, am I the only one who doesn’t care about Superman? He’s a side character in this movie. Give me more Cyborg scenes. He just lost his father for God’s sake. Why didn’t we get the scene of Victor figuring out how to get the plane to fly?

38. Although, I have to say when Supes shows up it’s a fun fight. Did he have to punch Steppenwolf so many times tho. It’s fucking brutal.

39. I have no complaints about anything. Forget everything I ever said. This Flash scene. God.

40. Oh good, Cyborg is back. Let’s stay with this guy for a bit. He’s neat.

41. I love that Arthur and Diana both got their dues for Steppy attacking/tormenting their respective peoples.

42. A Hall of Justice/recap scene would’ve been nice. Like we didn’t actually get to see all six of the League just sitting together (eating pie at Ma Kent’s diner) and celebrating.

43. I’m so glad the outro is Silas instead of Lois. It just feels right.

44. I actually prefer Henry Allen’s “Look at you go” line to the “His foot’s in the door” bit. Don’t tell anyone I said that

45. HI DUSTY

46. Man… I hope they don’t kill Hippolyta in a future movie (says me who’s killed Hippolyta in most of my own DC universes)

47. Why does the fake Luthor have such a Joker-esque laugh.

48. I don’t actually care about the Joker. Maybe if I did, then I would care about this scene.

49. Well that was fun.

ALM* final count: 19 appearances

*Ancient Lamentation Music

#ZSJL #gotta watch it a few more times before it leaves HBO Max #this is kind of crack #I actually might've missed one or two ALM counts because I was working at the same time #but still #And I really do like this movie a lot! I'm just having some fun with it #:P

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raging-violets · 3 years

Note

Cadence Nash . . . let's plot-bend a bit. Nora's arrival in season 5. (I'm assuming she doesn't exist, in your flash and flame series?)

Actually...she does! That’s who Alexis is! I just changed her name and some of her background, because Barry and Iris aren’t together in my series. (If this doesn’t actually answer your question, I’m sorry! lol).

I actually have a bit of this scene written out already so I’ll copy/paste that in for you!

[Send one of my OCs + A Canon scene]

Barry stared at the ceiling, eyebrows pinched so tightly he was starting to get a headache. And yet, he didn’t move in fear of removing the arm laid gently around his midsection, hand brushing against his thigh. If he moved too much, he’d wake up Cadence, and if he woke her up, then she’d take one look at him and he’d have to explain why he had such a concentrated look on his face.

Especially when there was no explanation necessary.

He was a father.

Barry Allen was a father.

Not that he hadn’t been a father before, long before himself and others had realized it—Brady had certainly moved his way into his heart easily. Since first meeting the then eight-year-old in Jitters, who looked up at him over the muffin he demolished, only knowing Barry as his mother’s friend, and liked being around him long before he knew Barry was the Flash, Barry felt a sense of protection over the young boy that he’d quickly grew to feel was a son.

But, it was different to know he had a daughter who was, in fact, his. Especially when said daughter wasn’t supposed to exist yet. Wasn’t supposed to be known for a few decades. More importantly, the first thought that came to Barry’s mind was how was he going to explain her presence to everyone he knew and loved?

How much was there to explain when your future daughter appeared out of thin air—out of the future, from thin air—and said they were now stuck? Barry knew there was something a bit off about her when he met her at the wedding, saw his daughter for the first time and the way she grabbed his hand…

Barry gently lifted his head from his pillow, far enough to look at the ring that glistened on his left finger. Then he looked towards Cadence, who’s own finger was bare, save for the lightning bolt tattooed in its place. Nevertheless, as his wife lay on her stomach arm stretched across him, he could see the glimmer of the necklace around her neck, holding her ring.

Had it really been that long ago? He remembered it as clear as day, as if it were yesterday, as if nothing with DeVoe and his stint in prison had ever happened.

Inside the church, Barry paced, running his hands over his hair, muttering to himself. Just pre-wedding nerves. Jitters. Something that hadn’t struck him until the last five minutes. Everything needed to go perfectly. He needed to have good memories of something. Anything other than his being kicked from the CCPD and…DeVoe…and Demon…and…

“Sparkling water?”

“Excuse me?” Startled, Barry faced the waitress who stood behind him, holding a tray. She seemed to appear out of nowhere. Barry looked around, noticing the other guests all were holding onto glasses from her dwindling tray. “Oh, uh…” He hesitated. If food went through him that fast, a fact Diggle consistently wondered about, drinking too much wasn’t going to help before he got to the front of the church, either.

But he couldn’t get drunk, so that wasn’t much of an issue.

“I thought you might be a little parched,” The young woman said. She pushed her tray towards him, keeping a firm control of the pale liquid that sloshed around. “Jitters. Big day and all.” She gestured with her tray. “You’re getting married.”

“I am,” Barry agreed. He stepped back, eyeing her closely.

The young woman beamed. “Today.”

“Yes, I am. Today.”

The young woman continued to smile up at him. Her eyes sparkled, almost as if it couldn’t contain the mischief within her. Or she was laughing about something someone had told her before. Barry’s eyebrows came together. The young woman jumped at the change in his expression and offered the tray once more. “So, uh sparkling water?”

“No, uh, I’m good.” Barry waved her off. He quickly added a, “Thank you,” noticing her face fall.

Instead of going on to the next guest, the young woman continued to speak rapidly. Almost rambling. “Okay. So, uh, I’m really excited to be here. I mean, at a wedding. A-any wedding, it just so happens to be your wedding. But I’m happy. To be here. Today.”

Barry smiled a little. The energy and friendliness she exuded was unable to be ignored. She was already starting to make his nerves recede. “You…love weddings?” He guessed.

“I really do.” The young woman looked around. “I mean, this looks to be a little expensive for something of your guys’ taste. Not quite something I would’ve chosen for you. But, it’s still beautiful.” She chewed her lower lip, her smile growing wider. “I’m sure you’ll all enjoy it. You know, the whole wedding deal. Wedding day, wedding night…everything that comes with it.”

Barry could feel himself starting to blush, unsure if she realized the double entendre she managed to put into her words. “That’s cool,” was all he could manage to say, hoping no one around had the ability to read his mind.

The young woman blinked rapidly. “Not that I’m a weirdo or anything. I’m coming off weird, aren’t I?” She tapped herself on the forehead, as if reproaching herself. She sucked in a deep breath, shoulders slumping. Curling her fingers around the end of the tray she admitted, “I just love weddings. Some people call me a nerd for it.”

Her comment made Barry laugh. “Well, coming from the biggest nerd on the planet.” He gestured to himself. “I think it’s cool.”

“Thanks.” She smiled widely, obviously relieved. “I just…I don’t know. I feel like this is going to be one for the ages. I’m really glad I got to see it.”

Barry got a good look at her face. Something about her seemed to familiar. So much so, it was practically radiating off her. She looked to be an asian woman; no, he decided after a moment, biracial. Very youthful with hazel eyes that looked bluish towards the center. Her smile was wide, a mixture of what appeared to be shy and outgoing. She stood a bit shorter than him, about 5’6” if he had to guess. Hair hung low, past her shoulders in long waves.

“I…I’m sorry…” Barry tilted his head. Continued to watch her. Couldn’t shake the feeling. “Have we met before?”

“No!” The young woman jumped backwards. The sparkling water she carried threatened to slosh over. Both reached for it, but the woman expertly moved her hands and followed the momentum of the tray to keep it up. “No, I’m a complete and total stranger. So! Good luck up there.” She grasped his wrist, holding him firmly. Barry glanced down, feeling a tingling sensation run up his wrist. “Remember to say ‘’I do’.”

Despite his confusion, Barry managed to grin. “Have you been talking to Brady?” How many times had he been buzzing around him, pestering him to be sure he knew what he’d say for his vows?

“Not recently.” Once again, the young woman looked startled. Nervous. She dropped her hand from Barry’s wrist and took a large step back. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” She turned on her heel and headed to the nearest guest she could find.

If Barry were more naturally suspicious, he would’ve said something then. Asked her more questions, let him know he was onto her. Onto her about what? He wasn’t sure of at the time. But now…to know what she’d done? To know how many lives she’d put in danger? To know what she’d done to the timeline. Or what was left of it? How did he know he wouldn’t wake up that day and Brady was no longer a boy but suddenly twin boys? Or that he’d married Caitlin instead of Cadence and he hadn’t just finished some sort of an illustrious affair?

At the thought, Barry shook his head, sitting up. He raised his knees, prompting Cadence’s hand to drop from his lap, and he pressed his face into his hands. His cheeks were warm to the touch. He’d hoped he wasn’t getting sick from stress.

He replayed the conversation from before. How she, Alexis, his daughter, barged through the front door at baby Jenna’s party and explained herself, speaking rapidly and enthusiastically to Barry’s question of, “Who are you?”

Alexis smiled awkwardly at her father, placing her hand on her chest. She took in a deep breath to steady herself and said, “My name is Alexis. And I’m your daughter…” she looked to Cadence. “From the future.”

Brady nearly choked on his drink. He sputtered, turning to the side to spit a mouthful of soda to the wooden floor. Joe and Cecil were too stunned to reprimand him for damaging their floor. Brady sputtered, coughing before he finally managed to squeak, voice cracking, spitting it out and coughing hard. “You’re what?” He demanded, glancing at his mother, whose expression rivaled that of his step-father’s.

“Okay, uh...” Alexis ran her hands through her hair. She closed her eyes, collecting herself.

Barry took the moment to looked toward Cadence, who looked back at him eyebrows lowered, lips pressed hard together. She was angry, he could tell. Not enough for smoke to come from her ears, but angry. Barry blinked in surprise. There were many things to be in the situation; shocked, confused, curious, but not angry. She took her eyes from her husband when Alexis continued.

“Let me explain.” Alexis searched the sea of confused faces, looking for a friendly face. When she found none, she cleared her throat, wringing her fingers together. “I’m Alexis Nash-Allen and I’m the fastest woman alive. Where I’m from, 30 years from now, I’m the guardian of Central City. I’m a speedster.” She smiled at Barry, a smile filled with pride. “Just like my dad. People call me Overdrive.” She then paused and shrugged. “Or Flash Fire.”

At that, Cadence raised an eyebrow. Barry looked to her again. This time she was less angry and more curious. No, Barry understood now. She was watching Alexis closely, trying to determine whether she was telling the truth. He could see his wife’s eyes gently and subtly flicker back and forth over Alexis’s face hoping to find anything that’d prove her to be untrustworthy.

Alexis seemed not to notice as she continued. “Every day, I hope to live up to the legacy of the Flash.” She shrugged once more. “But I’ve still got a long way to go.” Silence punctuated the end of her speech. She looked at the sea of faces once more, smiling, giggling nervously.

Finally, Barry broke the silence. “You’re our daughter?”

“From the future?” Cadence asked to make sure.

“Named Alexis?” Barry continued.

Alexis smiled and nodded.

“Does anybody need a refill?” Cisco’s sudden and loud question broke the stunned silence that followed her admission. He jumped when all eyes turned to glare at him. “Just me?” He squeaked. “No one else?” He practically melted into the couch as he slouched. “A-are you sure? Okay, just me then.” He got up from the couch and headed towards the refreshments. He paused, glanced at Alexis, and grabbed a bottle of champagne, pressing it against his lips to take on a large, gulping swallow.

Alexis, on the other hand, continued to grin around the room. “Cisco Ramon,” she gushed. “Always cutting the tension with a well-timed joke.”

Caitlin finally came from her deep freeze as she listened to the future speedster. “You know our names?” She asked, voice soft with confusion.

“Of course!” Alexis replied. “I know all of you!” She gestured toward Caitlin and Ralph. “Caitlin Snow, my mom’s best friend. Ralph Dibny, my dad’s annoyance.” Ralph turned to Barry with a look that read ‘Really, Rookie?’ while Barry simply opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish. Alex motioned to Joe and Cecile. “Papa Joe, Mama Cecile, Little Auntie Jenna, Uncle Wally, Aunt Iris, and of course.” She beamed at Brady. “My big brother, Brady!”

Brady paled, looking like he was about to pass out. He turned to Cadence, who looked back at him, their faces screwed up in identical expressions of confusion. He turned back to his future sister, looking at her suspiciously.

“And your nickname is…Overdrive?” Wally asked. His voice sounded curious, but hesitant. Almost as if he were trying to test her name roll off the tip of his tongue.

“Uh, not really.” Alexis waved a finger in the air. “I mean, it is. Sort of. Overdrive is what some of the people of Central City call me. But some others call me Flash Fire…after my mom,” Alexis said, casting Cadence a look out the side of her eye. “Because I’m also a fire meta.”

Caitlin’s head jutted forward at the casual comment. “I’m sorry, what? A what?”

Barry lifted his hand to cover his mouth, then let out a sharp breath, running a hand through his hair. A speedster and a fire meta. A meta-hybrid. The first they’d ever come across. Just as Brady was the first half-meta any of them knew about.

Alexis ignored Caitlin and continued. “And, well, Overdrive makes sense. It’s sort of a nickname you guys gave me. Because, I always move so fast. I always move in overdrive. I’ve always been like that, overdoing things, getting in over my head.” She twisted her mouth to the side, kicking at the floor. “Like, recently. Like, when I helped you break, the STAR Labs satellite last night.” Barry’s eyebrows as his eyes widened. “I just couldn’t help myself from getting involved. But something happened when I did, because I can’t seem to go fast enough to open the speed force.”

Ralph loudly, made a disgusting sound that, maybe, could’ve sounded like someone clearing their throat. Jenna whimpered, her face scrunching up as Cecile quickly started to bounce her. Hoping to soother her cries. “Are we talking about actual time travel here?”

Iris groaned, tilting her head back. “Do you not ever pay attention to our briefings?” She demanded. “Even once? Even a little bit?”

“Wait a minute,” Wally interrupted. “You didn’t teach him about the Legends?”

“No one said anything about time travel,” Ralph pointed out.

At that, everyone started to speak at once, their voices rising over each other’s as they tried to get answers from each other and simultaneously ask questions. All the while, Alexis stood off to the side, smiling awkwardly, intermittently waving her hand and trying to raise her voice over the din that broke out.

It wasn’t until Jenna started to cry that everyone started to calm down. Cecile quickly leapt to her feet and left the room, bouncing Jenna up and down in her arms, cooing quietly as she went.

Alexis clenched her teeth as she grimaced. She waved her hands. ‘I’m sorry, I know how bizarre this must seem meeting your daughter from the future as an adult.” She turned back and forth from her parents to her brother as she spoke rapid-fire. “It wasn’t my plan at all. But I’m kind of stuck here now, and you’re the only ones who can help me so…maybe you know what to do?”

If we knew what to do, we wouldn’t be in this mess, Barry thought. Every time I’ve ever time traveled, I’ve never been stuck there.

“You’re forgetting about Flashpoint.”

If it were any time before, Barry would’ve been startled by Cadence suddenly speaking, voice soft with sleep. But since their powers merged, they’d seemed to read each other’s mind. Not to say it was an actual ability they had, but the hard work that’d paid off after having had to learn how to work together again once Barry’d come back from the Speed Force. A quick look in the heat of battle conveyed a game plan that they’d follow to the T. They didn’t have to look at each other before flinging themselves off a roof or into a dangerous situation knowing the other would be there in that split second of free fall.

They were a unified front, and in that moment, as Cadence turned and rested her chin on her cheekbone, pressing her elbow into her pillow, he truly felt it. He didn’t have to say anything about Flashpoint out loud, didn’t have to mention any of his thoughts about Alexis and the future, and yet she knew everything he was thinking.

“Flashpoint’s the only time you’ve ever been stuck somewhere,” Cadence reminded him. “Future or past.”

“That was by choice,” Barry reminded her. He took in a deep breath. “I decided to stay. Where things were…” he trailed off, thinking of the best way to explain himself. “Different,” he finally decided. Different, because, both of his parents were alive. He had the life he wanted. And, all the same, it was one of the worst lives he could ever had. His friends weren’t his friends, the love of his life didn’t know he existed, his powers were starting to fail. And the only way he’d gotten back was from trusting the person the hated the most in the world.

“Right,” Cadence agreed. Barry’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Cadence let out a quiet sigh through her nose. She looked away for a moment. “I’m just saying it sounds weird.”

“What does?”

“All of it?” Cadence shrugged. “That she’s our daughter, that she’s from the future, that she’s stuck here. It all doesn’t make sense.”

Barry’s eyebrows furrowed even further. He looked her in the eye, searching for an explanation. She looked back at him. Silently prompting him it was his turn to speak his mind. He parted his lips, hesitated. Then rubbed at his eye. “Time travel is a tricky thing. Messing with the timeline…it can have some of the weirdest effects any of us, let alone a speedster, could imagine.”

At that, Cadence lifted an eyebrow. She slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, studying her husband. Almost in disbelief. “You believe that she’s stuck here?” Now it was Barry’s turn to shrug as he repeated, “Time travel is trick.” Cadence conceded that point, “Time travel is tricky, it’s dangerous, it affects a lot of things, but no one’s ever gotten stuck anywhere. Other than Eobard Thawne and the only reason he got stuck here was because his Tachyon device made it so he lost his connection to the Speed Force and it kept him stuck here. Alexis doesn’t seem to have that problem at all.”

“We don’t know that.”

“But it’s convenient, don’t you think?” Cadence insisted. “And you’re already saying she’s our daughter?”

“Did you see her? Yellow lightning like mine, a fire trail like yours? It’s definitely her.”

“But?”

“But, I agree with you, I think we need to send her back to her time.”

#answered ask #ask #nora west-allen #plot change #alexis nash-allen #riley responds #season 5 fic #darknightfrombeyond

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somecunttookmyurl · 3 years

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Lol . Your report is ridiculously baseless. But you may continue to waste your money and time. Who is your lawyer, Rudy Giuliani ? And you and your friends may continue to dig your hole of fanaticism and hateful mentality. BTW Lottie asks that I am "dealt with". I wonder how exactly, perhaps with pharaonic methods ? You are all so sad...

Well

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? �� Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#Anonymous #this loon thinks criminal proceedings in the uk cost money that's so CUTE

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zayray030 · 4 years

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You're an amazing person, Iris!

Summary: Alex and Kara have to visit Barry for help on something but end up finding Iris crying. They comfort her as best as possible and reassure her that she's an amazing person!

Iris sat in the Cortex all alone. Everyone had decided to go out and hang out with Nora. They had wanted to show her all the things that the Flash museum hadn't covered and Iris had declined the visit upon seeing Nora’s face when Barry had invited her to go and told the others that she needed to finish off a very important article for her blog.

Nora had just rolled her eyes and scoffed at her all while muttering about “not being able to make time for her daughter in any timeline” under her breath, low enough for no one else to hear but loud enough for Iris to hear, before turning over to the rest of the team and squealing happily, declaring it ‘Mata day’ for them and quickly dragging them out of the building.

Barry had shot her a small frown adn mouthed if she was okay over Nora’s shoulder. She had nodded, grateful for the fact that the water works haven't started yet, and mouthed back “Enjoy time with your daughter.” before the elevator doors slid closed and then did she collapse in her chair, crying heavily.

She didn't know how long she had sat in the Cortex, crying and lamenting over the fact that she fucked her relationship with her daughter, before a breach was open and Iris had to hastily wipe her tears. She drew out a gun from underneath her desk and pointed it at the breach,expecting to see someone from another earth or to see an evil meta who had breaching powers. Instead there stood Kara and Alex in all their glory.

“Wait, we come in peace!” yelled Kara, holding her hand up in defence before she put them down again and looked at Iris carefully. “Hey Iris, are you okay?” she asked worriedly when she saw the prominent tear tracks on her face.

Iris nodded and wiped her face quickly before smiling widely at Kara. Too wide to be real. “Hey Kara! Alex! What did you need?” she asked, her excitement sounding too fake, even to her.

“Well we were going to ask if Barry was here and if we could talk to him. But now? We're going to find out why you're so upset!” declared Kara, flying over to the petite woman.

“Kara! We need Barry right now!” snapped Alex.

“He's out with Nora and the rest.” said Iris, feeling hurt spread through her body and she quickly looked down to make sure her tears weren't seen.

“Who's Nora and why aren't you with them?” asked Kara, raising an eyebrow. The situation didn't seem right to her. Barry gushed about Iris every second he got and there was no way he would have gone without her.

“Umm, Nora’s mine and Barry's daughter from the future.” said Iris, preferring to ignore the second question. Alex looked at her for a second before rolling her shoulder and raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, princess. What's up? You're normally happy and excitable and would normally be talking our ear off about something or the other.” asked Alex, hands on her hips.

“Apparently people don't stay happy and excitable in the future!” Iris snapped, turning to glare at the taller woman and Kara gasped softly when she saw the tears running down Iris's cheeks.

“Iris! What happened!?”

“I was a bad mother is what happened!” Iris answered, curling up into herself, disappointed to find out that she couldn't shrink down on herself.

“How could you bad mother Iris? You're amazing in every way possible! Even Oliver likes you!” she added in an effort to make the small woman laugh but instead it made it worse and she let out choked little sobs.

“I dampened my own daughter's powers! I stopped her from using her powers for most of her life! I lied to her about everything!” Iris yelled, standing up while more tears fell down her cheeks. “I was barely there for her when she as abusky and when I was, I was way too overbearing and-and-” but Iris lost the battle with her tears and quickly collapsed onto the floor, sobbing her heart out.

Kara quickly pulled the girl into a hug, trying to soothe her. She even tried to sing a song her mother would sing to her when she was feeling upset but that wasn't working. If anything it made it worse. She quickly shit Alex a look and the girl understood what it meant.

‘Get chocolate, Alcohol, ice cream and candy galore for this woman along with a horde of blankets.’

Alex quickly reopened a breach and quickly started looking around Kara's apartment for stuff and quickly grabbed some mint chip ice cream, candy canes, twizzlers and more and quickly grabbed a few blankets before making her way back.

When she breached back and showed the items to Kara she nodded as if to say ‘Good choice.’ before she started to lol around with her X-ray at the walls of the lab and quickly found a room she could use.

She gathered Iris up in her arm, still sobbing, and quickly flew over to the lounge/canteen area and placed the girl gently on the sofa before flying back and picking her sister up.

Kara and Alex did quick work on the situation and wrapped Iris in the blankets and layed out the food in front of her. They cuddled her, yes even Alex, and soothingly spoke to her.

“Hey, it's okay. It'll be okay.” murmured Alex softly stroking the black woman's hair.

“Yeah! We love you Iris!” agreed Kara excitedly and Iris couldn't keep her wet giggle to herself. Kara's excitement was so endearing, it reminded her of Barry.

“Thanks guys.” she finally said, sitting up slightly, wiping away her tears with her hand feeling slightly embarrassed at crying in front of them.

“Hey, a friend in need is a friend in need.” said Kara waving away her gratitude.

“Now, cause it's kinda obvious that you don't want to talk about what happened, and because what we wanted earlier can wait we're going to be watching a few movies. .” declared Alex. “And yes, we can watch the Wizard of Oz.” she added when she saw Kara's face.

“Yay! We're so watching that first!” she said excitedly and they quickly started the movie on the TV. Half way through the movie Iris began speaking.

“When she first came it was so unexpected. But I was so happy. I thought this was the universe's way of saying, ‘Here, sorry for fucking with your life way too many times to be considered fair. Here, have your daughter and raise her for a small period of time.’ pfft. What a joke. She barely even gave me the time of day apart from the occasional cold glance and hidden words.”

Kara nodded and rubbed the girl's shoulder. She knew that you had to let it all out before letting someone interrupt. Alex did the same and slowly pulled Iris I to her chest a bit.

“But ten when I was trying to stop her from flirting with a woman who was almost responsible for the death of hundreds of people, she revealed that in the future I decided to dampen her powers. I dampen her powers. I take away something that I should not have taken away. And Barry stuck between being a good husband to making sure Nora doesn't run off and the others say they aren't taking sides but I can tell that they're all leaning towards Nora’s side and I-. I don't know what to do.” she finally let out. She grabbed the tequila bottle from the table and took a long hulo if it.

“We know that you wouldn't have done it without reason. We know you wouldn't have done it without purpose. We know that you love that little girl to be bits. We know that you're an amazing mother.” said Alex firmly.

“And we also know that you've had enough alcohol to make even Barry drunk.” Kara added and Iris let out a little giggle.

“I know. But Barry's cute when he fusses. He gives me this look as if I'm the only thing in the world worth looking at.” she said happy drunk. Kara and Alex looked over at each other both conveying completely different looks. Kara sap and happiness while Alex showed concern.

“Speak on the angel and he shall arrive.” said Kara, picking up the noise of Barry's heartbeat.

“I thought it was the devil?”

“Please, Barry's the farthest thing from a devil.”

“IRIS!” Barry yelled and Kara could hear the desperateness in his voice.

Barry quickly sped over to the canteen, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Iris between Alex and Kara before immediately narrowing when he saw the alcohol.

Soon the others joined Barry and Nora looked worriedly at her mother's drunk form.

“Barry!” her mother giggled before anyone else could ask what happened. She tried to walk over to him but she tripped and would have fell if Barry didn't catch her and pick her up, bridal style.

“Iris!”

“I love you so much!” she giggled into his neck where her face was placed. Everyone smiled at the scene in front of them before hearing their hearts break at the next few words. “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do Iris! Why wouldn't I?” he asked, baffled and confused.

“I'm not a good mom. Duh. Nora says I'm absolutely awful! Like Francine! But I don't want to be like Francine! I want to be better! I am better, aren't I?” she pouted at the brunette.

“You're the best!”

“Yay! Do you think I can convince Nora that I'm a good mother? Do you think she'll let me talk to her at all? Ooh, what do you think her favourite flowers are…?” and as her mother continued to ramble, Nora’s guilt continued to grow.

“It's going to take a long time to get her forgiveness. Sure, she might act like she's fine, but honestly she'll constantly feel hurt.” whispered a voice in her ear before she jumped at the sound and saw Kara on her side.

“I know.” she said simply.

“We aren't going to kay it out on you right now because Iris is way too drunk and Barry seems happy.” muttered Lex on her other side. Bira just bowed her head down in shame and nodded.

“If you want her forgiveness try and get to know her. Really know her.” Kara softly whispered into her ear. Nora nodded slightly before speeding over to her mom and giving her a kiss in the cheek.

“Come on old man! Mom needs her sleep and you need your beauty sleep.” she added playfully before turning to her now unconscious mother and Nora couldn't help but admire the smoothness of the skin without worry lines blemishing the skin.

“Yeah lets. And we need to make sure we stop at every available store for mint chip chocolate and ice cream when she wakes up.” he added before the West-Allen family disappeared out of sight.

“Shit! We forgot to ask Barry for help on the CSI case!” exclaimed Alex.

“Forget that! Who's going to clean up this mess!” snapped Caitlin.

“We're visitors, so yeah! Adiós!” Kara said before opening up a breach grabbing Alex, and flying off.

“At least madame West-Allen got a happy ending.” said Sherloque.

“And since you care about that so much you can clean up!” snapped Caitlin, already matching out with Ralph and Cisco following behind her.

“Of course. At least I get a few more hours to go through Nora’s journal.” Sherloque whispered to himself, already beginning to clean up.

#iris west #iris west allen #barry allen #westallen #dctv #alex danvers #nora west allen #caitlin snow #sherloque wells #kara danvers #kara zor el #Iris West friendship #iris west deserves better #iris west defense sqaud #Protective Kara Danvers #Protective Alex Danvers

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the-awkward-outlaw · 4 years

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Wishing you were my Arthur right now, lol. Omg, can write something like that? Arthur is taken by another woman and reader wishes she's that woman. A forbidden love kind of thing? I don't want him to be a cheater but I like to think it's natural for him to also wish he'd rather date the reader but can't. If that's too much, then do the first part? I'm sorry! 😦

Hello, Anon! That is so sweet, I’d love to do a scenario for you and Arthur! Tell me some things about yourself and I’ll see what I can do! 😊

This one was fun, even if it did take a long time. It’s been a hellish few weeks and honestly I don’t remember most of the things that happened.

You stand on the edge of Horseshoe Overlook, enjoying your morning coffee. An eagle soars overhead, swirling in lazy circles in the gentle breeze. This place is beautiful, Hosea couldn’t have picked a better spot.

You hear the sound of a horse coming up the trail behind you. Looking over to your left, you see Arthur’s horse coming up the hill with the man himself astride it. Behind him sits Mary, her arms wound around him. You wrinkle your nose in disgust as though she were a bad smell, but you go back to drinking your coffee and pretending you didn’t see them.

Arthur knows you did, of course. He’s horribly aware that everyone’s eyes are on him and Mary. He hadn’t expected to get back together with her, it’d been the last thing he thought would happen when he received her letter. He helped her brother, of course he did. Arthur was just the kind of man to help anyone in need unless they gave him a reason not to. When he’d brought Jamie back to Mary, she’d clasped his hands and kissed him.

“Oh Arthur,” she’d said, “I’ve missed you more than I can say. You know I… I only married Barry because it was what daddy wanted, but he’s dead now. I’m willin’ to take another chance with you if you’ll have me.”

Arthur’s heart felt ripped in two when she’d said this to him. There was a part of him that was overjoyed, but another part that wanted to cringe and tell her to leave him alone. Deep down he knew if things hadn’t worked the first time, they wouldn’t this time. He’d only end up with a broken heart again. Not only that, he’d had his eye on you for some time.

Although you’ve only been with the gang a few months, about as long as Charles and Micah, you and Arthur clicked immediately. It didn’t take long for you two to develop a crush on one another, but neither of you would act upon it. Arthur was handsome and too good for you. A man like him would certainly never go for you. You didn’t blame him either. Hell, you wouldn’t be interested in you. Arthur felt the same way about himself when it came to you. He saw himself as nothing more than a killer, a robber. A bad man. No way could someone as sweet and gentle as you want to be seen with a man like himself. No, Mary was what he deserved, he told himself.

Ever since Arthur and Mary got back together, he’s been going off to see her more often. Since she already knew about the gang, no one had any qualms about him bringing her to camp, even though many of them didn’t like her. You aren’t a fan either. Sure, Mary’s pretty, smart and strong. But she’s not unique in that aspect. Mary-Beth’s smart, Tilly’s pretty and Karen could knock Mary’s teeth out if she wanted to. What they didn’t have that Mary did was her ego. It was clear to you upon first meeting her that she saw herself as better than everyone in the gang, Arthur included. It was just the way she talked to them, how she would never invite anyone to start a conversation. Most of the time when she was in camp, she acted like she didn’t want to be and she’d beg Arthur to go somewhere else with her. You had to bite your tongue, feeling sure she was dragging him off someplace to have some mind-blowing sex, which did nothing to lighten your mood.

It wasn’t just the way Mary talked to you and the others in the gang that made you hate her. Most of it was how she talked to Arthur, always putting him down in some way. Once you’d been passing his tent when she’d been in there with him and it was clear she was trying to get him to do something he didn’t want to do. “I shoulda had you hung years ago. You’ll never change, Arthur.”

That made you want to go in there and rip her hair out. How dare she threaten him that way? Did she talk to her late husband in the same manner? You doubt it, as he was likely a law-abiding man. You argued that following laws set by a bunch of men didn’t make people good. Hell, you grew up in a law-abiding family and most of the people during that part of your life treated you and everyone else like shit. Here, in this gang of outlaws and criminals, you’ve never known such a tight-knit family. Everyone looks out for one another. Sure, people argue and fight, but they’re still family and the whole gang would be moved to action if a single person was in danger.

Arthur knows the gang isn’t happy to see Mary riding behind him. He dismounts and helps her off. He wants nothing more than to rip his arm out of her grasp. He regrets getting back into this relationship with her. He’s always had a low opinion of himself, but being with her has made him realize how truly horrible he is. He wonders why someone as good as her could want to be with him. He spots you by the cliff, drinking coffee in the morning light. You look so beautiful. What he wouldn’t give to be standing by your side, your hand wrapped around his arm instead of Mary’s. But that can never be. You’re too perfect for him.

He sidles over to his tent with Mary. Dutch gives him a tense nod. He clearly wants to talk with Arthur, likely about a job, but he holds his tongue when Mary’s around. He knows, along with everyone else, that if she doesn’t like even the slightest thing, she could very easily go running off to the sheriff and turn them all in. That’s the only reason why her presence is tolerated, that and out of respect for Arthur. Arthur’s not a fool though, he knows most people walk on eggshells when she’s around. He doesn’t bring her to camp often, only whenever he needs to talk to someone or pick up something and then he heads off somewhere else with her.

Arthur’s here to just drop off some fish to Pearson now. He’d suggested fishing when he picked up Mary. She hadn’t wanted to do it as she found it boring, but Arthur wanted to make sure his people had something to eat tonight. She’d relented at that. You eye her across camp now. Why can she not see how good of a man Arthur is? He’d break his own back if he had to for the gang. She’s not good enough for him, which means you’re definitely not either. Hell, you’ve committed almost enough crimes to get as heavy a bounty as Arthur, including murder. You go back to your cold coffee, though you’ve lost all interest.

Before Arthur had gotten back with Mary, you two were becoming close friends. He took you out on a lot of hunting trips and you were sure one time he almost kissed you. It’d been under a tree and you’d been caught by a sudden rainstorm. Soaking wet and slightly cold, you both huddled under the tree, wrapped around each other to stay warm. Your faces had been inches apart and you desperately wanted to press your lips to his, but you wouldn’t. You couldn’t destroy your friendship with him like that, your desires weren’t worth it. You’d rather have him in your life as a friend than not at all because you couldn’t keep your crush to yourself.

It broke your heart when he’d shown up in camp with Mary the first time and when people asked, he’d announced why she was there. You’d heard enough about her before to know she only used him for her own gains and then always tossed him aside when he was no longer useful. At least that’s what the others said. Hosea told you a bit about what their first relationship was like and why it hadn’t worked. So when Arthur showed up, his arm in her hand and a big smile on his face, you started pulling away from him. You had to in order to protect himself.

It hurt Arthur when you did that. You no longer went hunting or fishing with him, he stopped asking you to help him on small jobs. He understood why you did, most of the others changed towards him too when he brought Mary in. It just made him regret taking her back all that much more. He wanted to end things with her already, but she had some sort of pull on him. Whenever he thought about leaving, she seemed to sense it and she’d kiss him and fawn over him and make him think things might be okay, then she’d slip back into her habits of insulting him.

Arthur couldn’t even say that the sex was good enough for him to stay, it wasn’t happening at all. Mary had a firm stance against premarital sex. He respected her wishes, of course, he was easily capable of taking care of himself if he needed to. However, when he was with Mary, he felt no desire to be with her intimately. He used to when they were first dating, but things had ended so badly that he blamed his lack of interest on that. A voice from a dark corner of his mind told him that he wasn’t attracted to her because he wanted you. He shoved that voice out of his mind though, he’d already told himself he wasn’t going after you. He wouldn’t ruin your life like that.

He drops the fish off to Pearson and as he turns away to go back to Mary, he bumps into you as you’d been going back to put your coffee tin in the water barrel.

“Sorry, Y/N,” he says.

“No, it’s okay, Arthur,” you say, quickly looking away. “You, uh, heading off with Mary again?” You try keeping the accusations from your voice.

He shuffles his feet a bit. “Uh, yeah. She wants to go see one of them movin’ pictures, I guess.”

“I see. Well, have fun.” You turn away quickly before he can say anything else. He realizes he genuinely misses you. Whenever he needed to talk, you were always there and easy to talk to. Not only that, you were always telling jokes, making him laugh. Your cool, easy-going temperament was infectious to him and he found himself becoming more steady and less angry in your presence. Now that he rarely gets to see you, he finds he’s gotten more angry again. He runs up behind you, calling your name softly.

“Y/N, I just wanted to ask ya somethin’. Would, uh, would ya wanna go on a huntin’ trip with me soon? Pearson’s getting low again and, well, you’re a good shot. What you think?”

You’ve kept a steady gaze on him but when he’s done you glance over at Mary. Is that all you are to him, just a steady shot? “I don’t know, Arthur. Grimshaw’s keeping me pretty busy.” That’s a downright lie. Sure, Grimshaw’s been breathing down your neck, but no more than she always has and no more than she’s done with the other girls. “Besides, Arthur, what would Mary say if she found out you went out for three days alone with another girl? If I were her, I’d be suspicious.”

Arthur sighs and knows what you mean. He can’t have friends who happen to be women with Mary. Because of him being a criminal she’d suspect him of being a cheater too. “Right, o-of course. Well, just thought I’d ask. Looked like ya might need to get some time away from this camp.”

He walks back to Mary, looking miserable. He’s right, you do need a break from this camp. You’re tired, tired of Grimshaw’s barking and Dutch constantly screaming about faith and his plans. Tired of Pearson’s same stew every night, tired of everything here. You’ve missed the hunting trips with Arthur more than you thought possible. Your lip trembles as he walks away. You goddamn fool, you think. He’s just trying to help you and you can’t get over your jealousy.

Shortly after Arthur leaves with Mary, you decide to head out of camp too. Pearson gives you a shopping list, so you jump on the opportunity. You sidle into Valentine’s shop and give the shopkeeper your list. He snaps at a shopboy who starts gathering things and putting them into the wagon you drove here. As you’re browsing the shelves, the front door opens and Arthur walks in.

“Oh, hi Y/N,” he says, coming over. “You doin’ a’right?”

You nod. “Pearson just needed some things. Is uh, Mary outside waiting?”

He sighs and looks out the window. “Yeah, she is. I just needed to buy some provisions. I gotta go huntin’, with or without you. Camp’s gotta eat somehow.”

Your gut clenches with a bit of guilt. “I see. You takin’ Mary with you?”

“No. No she’s never shot a gun. I’ve offered to teach her how but she says she’ll be damned before she touches a gun. Says if she does it’s a slippery slope to turnin’ into one of the other girls from camp.”

Your face flushes with anger. She really does think herself better than the rest of the gang just because she’s never robbed anybody. Yet here she is, abusing Arthur and judging everybody else.

“Why are you with her, Arthur?” you ask before you can stop yourself. “I don’t have a lot of experience with dating, but I’d find it difficult to be with anyone who could so easily insult those I called family.”

Arthur dips his head, hiding his eyes. “It’s complicated, Y/N.”

“No, it’s not. Someone who can insult your family so easily can’t hold much respect for you. Seriously, why do you let her treat you this way?”

“Why do you care?” he snaps. “It ain’t none of your business.You don’t know Mary, I pulled some bad crap towards her when I was young. She’s got her reasons for being the way she is.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to put up with it, Arthur. Your relationship with her won’t work if she’s got no respect for you. No healthy relationship can last without it.”

“Like I said, Y/N, why do you care?” His eyes bore into yours, the blue turning cold. You swallow nervously.

“I guess I don’t care, Arthur,” you snap. “You be with her if it’s what makes you happy. I won’t bother you anymore.”

Before he can say anything, you push past him and march out the doors. You throw Mary a dirty look and get into the cart and go back to camp. She ignores you, though it’s obvious she’d seen.

Later that night when Arthur comes into camp, alone this time, you completely ignore him. It’s obvious to you at this point that he doesn’t want you interfering with his life in even the smallest way, so you won’t go digging around in his business any longer. He wants Mary to treat him like the tread of her boot? Fine, let him. He walks over to you at the fire and gently calls your name, wanting to talk things through. He wanted so desperately to admit to you that he’s miserable with Mary, but you’d walked out before he could say anything. When he calls to you though, you pointedly ignore him. He gets the message and goes to his cot.

In the morning, Arthur approaches you near Pearson’s fire where you’re pouring a cup of coffee.

“Y/N, can I talk to ya?” he said. He’d spent half the night lying awake, trying to think of how he can talk to you about Mary. He knows this fling with her can’t last much longer, but he’s afraid the more he tries to escape, the tighter she’ll hold onto him.

You straighten up and look at him. “Why do you want to talk to me?” you say sharply. “Thought you wanted me to have no part in your business.”

He hangs his head again. “I-I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to get so defensive yesterday, I always do when it comes to her. But look, I… I really need to talk to someone about this whole thing with Mary.”

“Hmm, well, go talk to Hosea. He’s good with advice.” You start walking away. You’re still stung by his words from yesterday.

“Y/N, please,” he says loudly after you’ve only taken a few steps. You can hear the pain in his voice. You sigh and turn around to look at him.

“Why?” you say, softer this time. “Why the hell would you want me to hear about anything going on in your life, Arthur?”

He takes a few steps closer to you. “Because I know I can tell ya anythin’, Y/N, and you won’t judge me for it. Just please, give me a few minutes and then I won’t bother ya anymore.”

That stings again. Here you were thinking you’d been bothering him. “Okay, Arthur.”

You go into the trees with him and almost to the main trail leading to Valentine. Arthur stops there, staring off down the path to the river. He’s silent for a few moments, and you are too. You want him to be the one who speaks up first since this is his problem.

“Yesterday when ya said I should stay with her if I was happy, I wanted to tell you that I’m not. Not happy, that is. I don’t know what it is, but that woman knows exactly how to play me. Whenever I pull away in the slightest, she reels me back in. I don’t know what to do, Y/N.”

“You think I do?” you say quickly. “I don’t know a thing about her, except what gossip has been tossed around camp since you started bringing her around and I don’t know how much of that is true.”

He sighs. “I know, and I got no business draggin’ ya into my problems. But, Y/N,” he turns to you and reaches for your hand. “I’ve missed havin’ ya around. I always knew I could tell ya anythin’, that I could be honest and open. I can’t do that with Mary. Seems we always fight whenever I tell her even a shred about my life.”

“I’m sure, I uh, heard her the other day saying she should’ve turned you in years ago. Has she always been like that?”

“Not always. In the beginning, all them years ago, she weren’t. But then I… we were gonna get married and then her awful daddy got involved. After that, I did some stuff for the gang that caused some attention and it made her mad. She left me after that, said some bad things too. Told her after that I wanted nothin’ with her no more.”

“So why did she call on you a few weeks ago? If she knew things were over between you…”

“Well, her husband passed away and she needed someone to help her brother. He got involved with some religious bunch of crazies.”

“Ah, so she needed someone scary enough to go after him and you’re the most frightening person she knows.”

“Guess that about sums it up,” he says. You look down at your joined hands and squeeze a little.

“You’d think with her seeing you as this violent, scary person, she’d be a little less belittling.”

Arthur sighs and looks down the path again.

“She used to know how kind you can be, didn’t she?” you say, realizing what his silence means. He looks down and nods.

“I really loved her, Y/N, but when things ended between us and I learned she married another man, it broke my heart. I never wanted nothin’ to do with her. But when she wrote to me and asked for help, I couldn’t say no. I owed it to her. Guess I was hopin’ I could fix one of my many mistakes.”

“And now she has you completely wrapped around your fingers.” You let go of his hand and cross your arms over your chest. “How long will this run last, Arthur? How long before you end up doing something real stupid that finally pushes her over the edge and she decides it’s over? Or worse, how long before you decide to marry her?”

His eyes shoot up to yours. “I don’t wanna marry her, Y/N. I’d have to love her to wanna do that.”

“So then why are you with her? If you don’t love her, end the relationship!”

“I want to, but like I said, she’s got some kind of hold of me. I… I want nothin’ more than to end it. Truth is, there’s someone else I’d rather be with. But she’s way too good for me.”

“Who?” you say, genuinely perplexed. “Mary-Beth? Know she’s got a bit of a thing for you. Don’t tell me you’re thinking of Karen, she’s with Sean and they fit together. Tilly, she’s cute. Can be a little scary-”

You didn’t see the way he smiled when you started rambling about the girls, but when he saw you weren’t going to stop, he put a hand behind your head and pulled you to him, your lips meeting. You’re stunned into silence, but just when he starts to pull away, your hands grip his shoulders, keeping you to him. Something in your chest purrs, a hunger you didn’t even know was there begins to melt away. He smells good, like grass and pine, old leather and tobacco leaves. His lips are slightly chapped and warm, God are they warm. His arm winds around your back and you clasp the back of his head, sinking deeper into the kiss.

Finally, after what feels like years, you break off, slightly breathless. You stare up at Arthur, his cheeks rosy. He smiles a bit but then it fades.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I never meant for ya to get involved in all this crap.”

You stare into his beautiful blue eyes. Your hand goes to his cheek, his jaw lightly stubbled. “Don’t be, Arthur. I’ve…” It’s your turn to blush. “I’ve dreamt about what it would be like to kiss you for ages, never thought it would be that good.”

He smiles and leans forward to kiss you again. You want to so bad, but you stop him. “Arthur, we shouldn’t. Not until this Mary business is sorted out. I don’t like her, but it’s not fair to her.”

He sighs and pulls away, nodding. “You’re right. Well, I’m supposed to go see her later today. Come with me, Y/N. I’m gonna tell her things are over.”

You nod and smile. “Of course I will. Hell, if I have to kiss you in order to get her to leave you alone, I certainly will. I’ll take any opportunity to do that again.”

His grin makes your heart flutter. A few hours later, you’re going along the trail with him to where Mary’s staying. She doesn’t live in Valentine, she’s just staying with a family friend in a little farmhouse just outside the town.

Arthur steps onto the porch with you by his side and knocks on the door. A moment later, Mary opens it. Her eyes meet yours for a moment before she goes back to him. She’s certainly worked hard to make herself look prettier, even applying powder to her face and her hair plaited down her back.

“Hello, Arthur.”

“Mary. I um, I think you and I need to talk.”

She glances at you again and then steps out, closing the door behind her. “May we do this in private, Arthur?”

He looks at you a second and you nod, going back to the horses where you can see them but can’t hear them. You pretend to brush your horse when really you’re watching them. Arthur takes off his hat and says something, but his back is to you so you can’t tell what he’s saying. You can guess based off Mary’s face. Her hands clasp together and her brows furrow. She says something, looking confused and angry. Arthur responds and then she walks away from him to the other side of the porch, looking almost like she’s searching for an answer. She turns around and says something to him, Arthur shakes his head. He puts his hat on and then walks down the stairs, towards you. Mary puts her hands on the rails of the porch and hollers, “I shoulda had you hung years ago, Arthur Morgan!”

You throw down your brush and march up the porch to her. “What the fuck is the matter with you? You treat everyone this way when they make you mad?”

“I don’t know you,” she says, her face clearing.

“Well you can know me from now on as Arthur’s girl, and I ain’t letting some snotty brat talk to my man like that. If you ever send a letter to him begging for his help, I will come to you and I will put a bullet between those pretty eyes, you got me?”

Mary swallows. She looks over to Arthur, who seems stunned by your response.

“I didn’t mean… I just….”

“You were just trying to manipulate him, you ass,” you say. “You don’t love him. Maybe you did once, but now he’s just something for you to play with and control. Well, it may come as a shock to you, Mary, but Arthur’s a person! Just because he’s an outlaw doesn’t mean he’s incapable of feeling. If you mention him or any of my family to anyone, I will destroy your entire life.” You spit at her feet for good measure and then march down stairs. When you get to Arthur, you stretch up and kiss him on the cheek. When you look back at Mary, she’s burst into tears.

“Did you really have to do that?” he huffs softly in your ear as you go to your horses.

“Had to get the message across, didn’t I? Now how about you and I go somewhere and have a proper first kiss?”

#rdr2 fanfic #red dead fanfic #arthur morgan #awkward asks #red dead redemption 2

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singeramg · 4 years

Text

Midnight: Chapter 8

A/n: I am really kicking these out aren’t I? LOL Hope you enjoy reading

Pairing: Clark Kent/ Metahuman! Black! OFC

Rating: M

Warnings for chapter: ANGST, maybe even some tears idk?

Catch Up Here!

Midnight: Chapter 8

In the walk to the ship I had fallen asleep fairly quickly, as I was exhausted and against his chest I felt safe, but when I woke up in a bed. I was totally confused as to where I was. Had those men succeeded in getting me back?Had the team, Clark included all been a dream. I did my best to let energy build on my hands, preparing for a fight.

“Whoa there cowgirl. You are safe here.”

I heard Arthur say as I realized I was not alone in the room. I sat up ignoring the pain in my lower abdomen as the recent events came rushing back. I groaned and looked at Arthur and Diana who were in the room with me.

“Where are we? Where is Kalen? Is he safe?”

“You are in Bruce’s mansion. You are safe Kalen is safe. Bruce thought it might be better if he and his caretaker were not here.” Diana tells me with a look of concern on her face.

I looked confused and my senses told me Clark was no longer in my immediate vicinity.

“ Wait where did he take my son?”

“He just had Alfred take them to another part of the property. Gia does he know?”

Diana asks softly, I pretend not to know what she was asking me.

“Does who know what?”

Diana sits on the edge of my bed as Arthur leans on the wall with his arms crossed against his chest. The frustration is back but it is intertwined with concern and the compassion the rumors said he lacked.

“So you are going to sit there and act like you don’t know what we are talking about?” Arthur says.

I huffed in frustration. Ignoring the burning feeling of the raw skin where Clark had used his heat vision on me. I realized I had on some flimsy hospital gown. If I had enough energy I would shift into proper clothes, but I didn’t.

“I need some clothes.”

“I think you are going to have much bigger problems than clothes if you don’t figure out how to tell Supes.” Says Arthur

“I’ll send him a thank you card.” The answer was flippant I knew.

“Gia!”

Arthur says angrily and I had the forethought not to jump at his voice, but I knew nervousness showed in my face. I lashed back out at him. It was a defense mechanism I was unfortunately good at.

“Arthur! Now that we are done yelling each other’s names, can someone go get Ms. A and My son.”

“You think whoever tried to basically kidnap you will stop?”

“If we get away...”

“They shot you. Almost killed you. If I hadn’t shown up when I did you would be dead.”

I looked at my hands, unwilling to make eye contact.

“And I thank you but I can’t stay and put my son at risk.”

“He will never be more safe than he is right now. Arthur can you please retrieve her son?”

He grunts in confirmation and leaves me alone with Diana. She turns to me with a sincere look on her face. I took note of her hair pulled back into a bun and she was dressed in a pair of jeans and a yellow top. I was jealous. I wanted clothes really badly. Being this naked left me feeling vulnerable.

“Gia, I know this must be hard for you. I can hear how your heart is racing. I know we do not know each other well and maybe I am the last person you want to tell your secrets to, but I like you Gia. I want to help you. We all do, we cannot help you if you won’t admit the truth.”

“Diana I appreciate your offer but I can’t stay here. Everyone has their life and we have ours. I cannot let my past catch up with us.”

“You know as well as I do that Clark will not let anyone hurt you. Neither will we, you are on the team now. Now I’m going to ask you a very direct question, and while the answer is obvious I need a yes or no.”

I shook my head to let her know I understood the instructions.

“Is Kalen, Kal- El’s son?”

Before I knew it I was crying again and I hated that I looked and felt so weak.

“Diana, he can’t know. He was happy with Lois. He will think I can’t protect him. He is going to take him away. I...I just...”

I broke down sobbing into My hands, Diana moved closer, pulling me into her arms.

“I promise you that I won’t let that happen. You protected your son to almost your dying breath. Everyone including Kal saw that, I think you will be able to come to a solution about this. No matter what happens everything will be okay. I know there may be some shame in being with Clark while he was in a relationship, and while it is something I didn’t think he would do, that’s okay too. The past...”

“Wait stop Diana. Clark is still the same guy you thought of him. He and Lois were not together at the time, I am many things. A home wrecker is not one of them, furthermore the reason why we need to leave. I can’t impress a child on their relationship. At some point in my life, I considered Lois a friend, I can’t come in and ask her to play Step-mother. This is why I need to go...”

“I apologize for my assumption.” She says and means it.

“It’s okay it was a logical assumption but please help me get out of here.”

“Kal-El will only look for you if you go. He will be back soon I imagine. He and Bruce went to figure out who sent those men to attack you. He was not very happy when he left. He made sure you were safe on the plane and he went home to change. I however will bring you some clothes. Gia he deserves to know.”

She quickly goes out of the room, the clothing must not have been far because she came in with some jeans and a deep purple cap sleeved shirt. I knew my hair had to be a mess of dark curls. The elastic holder had long since disappeared. A quick and hot second shower freed me of any lingering debris and dirt and I dressed in the clothes that Diana provided me.

I was rubbing a towel on my hair that I was forced to wash when my door opened and a ball of energy came flying into my legs. Followed by Ms. Alphonse. Tears in her eyes she hugs me as well, then pops my arm like my mom used to do when I was a child. While the memories were fond, the pain was not. I rubbed the sore spot and looked at her afraid she would just hit me again.

“Tiffany or should I say Gia. You have a lot of explaining to do.”

“I know Ms. A. I promise you at least that much. I will tell you what I can about me and Kalen as soon as we get out of here.”

“And go where Child? I’ve got a feeling if Kyle’s...sorry I mean Kalen’s father is who I think it is you won’t get very far.”

“Mommy!!!!!” Kalen pulls at the bottom of my shirt until I bend down to pick him up.

“Should you be doing that?”

I looked at Ms. A and hugged my baby tight to me. I ignored that maybe she was right, I needed to hold him.

“Mama’ you feel better?”

“Yes mama is okay. Are you hungry? Are you okay?”

“You said we can eat Ice cream!”

I looked at him and he didn’t seem to answer my question, but his mood was fine.

“I am sure my friend has some ice cream here somewhere. Let’s go find Alfred.”

I kissed him on the cheek and sat him down on the ground and he grabbed my hand. I noticed Arthur in the doorway.

“Kalen did my friend introduce himself to you?”

“He looks mean” he says quietly, Arthur hides a smirk.

“He’s a friend of mommy’s. He’s not going to mean to you if you are nice to him.”

I led him forward stopping in front of Arthur.

“Baby, this is Mr. Arthur.”

Arthur’s face softens, and he comes down to my sons level, a smile on his face.

“ I’m usually only mean to the bad guys. Can I get a high five little buddy?”

He holds his hand up and Kalen reluctantly smacks it . Arthur pretends to be hurt, grabbing his hand as if in pain.

“Whoa little man, you are strong! Gia, you are you sure he is only 3!”

He says with dramatics but he also looks at me. The unspoken words being that his obviously abnormal strength was furthermore proof of his paternal parentage.

“Mommy he doesn’t look like the Arthur on TV.”

I laughed and Arthur looked at me confused.

“Kalen he is not the same Arthur from your TV show.”

I looked at Arthur who had now stood back up and looked confused.

“He thinks you are supposed to be Arthur the Aardvark.”

“Oh, well I think I’m cooler than an aardvark. More like a fish. We will go to the beach one day and I’ll show you a buncha cool stuff that I can only show my friends. You are my friend right?”

My son nods happily.

“Alright my man! Let’s go raid the kitchen. I’m sure Barry is down there somewhere with the good stuff.”

We followed him down the hallway to the large sitting room where Victor and Diana were chatting with Alfred. Barry was lounging with a large sandwich and his feet up.

“Hi everyone. I have some very important people I’d like for you to meet if you haven’t already. This is Sarah Alphonse, she has been instrumental in helping me with little man here.”

Ms. A. Smiles at everyone in the room and walks over to have a seat on one of the large couches in the room.

“And speaking of the little man, everyone this is my son, Kalen.”

Barry’s eyes got big and I was under the assumption that he hadn’t actually seen my son up close. Diana simply waved at the little boy.

He waved back clearly having remembered her from the plane ride. He took one look at Victor and to his credit he didn’t scream, he only moved behind my legs, peaking from behind them.

“Kalen this is Mr. Victor. He helps mommy when she needs to get the bad guys. He’s kinda like a transformer and a computer all in one.”

“So he a robot?”

“He’s A PERSON that just can do really awesome stuff with computers and looks really cool too. Mr. Victor is pretty darn awesome himself, Can you say to him for me?”

He comes behind my legs slightly and Victor leans forward but otherwise lets Kalen come to him. He reaches out slowly once Kalen is close enough and Kalen reaches up touches the metal of his hand. Victor makes a fist and they bump in a cool way and Kalen smiles at Victor.

I could feel Victors relief to be able to interact with a small child and not have him run screaming.

“BooYah!” Victor says and my son picks up in that instantly

“Boo ya! Boo ya!!”

We all laugh at his innocent excitement. I take note his eyes are no longer brown like mine but have reverted back to their natural blue.

“So guys little bro was promised some ice cream, Alfred my man do you think we could find some for him?”

“Of course Mr. Curry. Would young Mr. Smith and Ms. Alphonse like to accompany me to pick some out? Mr. Wayne likes to keep a few flavors in the house for his ‘cheat day’”

We all laughed at Alfred’s little reveal about the stoic man that he basically raised.

“Come on young man they might have some candy too!”

He cheers and takes off in a run behind her and Alfred.

“Please Don't let him have too much sugar!”

I yell behind them, but I know it’s a moot point.

That leaves the team to look at me.

“So am I crazy or does that kid look like A mini, tan...”

I cut Barry off before he could finish his sentence with a raised hand.

“He looks like the father that does not know about him Barry. It’s complicated and I’m scared as shit. Diana here has convinced me to come clean. I think this a terrible idea, but I will pull him aside whenever he and Bruce come back. If he doesn’t come back here, I’ll drive out to Smallville. I just want to ease this on him. It’s delicate...”

I am interrupted by a door opening to my left.

“Recon proved unsuccessful. I’ll start gathering surveillance.”

Bruce says as he comes into the room, removing his cowl and still frowning. He looks at me standing there and maybe he is even surprised I am up. He doesn’t let in linger however.

“Gia. It’s good to find you awake.”

“Thank you for coming to save me Bruce.”

“Glad I could be of service. Have they told you where your son is?”

“Yes he is raiding your cheat day ice cream as we speak.”

“Good. I assumed that it was best to keep him away while you healed and had a chance to explain.”

“Everyone else has had a very brief explanation, one that they can explain to you. I am not fond of repeating myself. Where is Clark?”

I said really hoping Bruce wasn’t about to try and check me about not telling any of them about my dalliance with Clark. It really wasn’t any of their business. He seemed to have enough sense to back off of the subject anyway.

“He went to the room you were in to check on you. I guess since you are here, he will be in, in about...”

At that moment Clark comes back in the room, still in full Superman Regalia. His eyes softened the moment they saw me.

“Gia I was worried when I couldn’t find you in your room. Why are you up and moving already?” He furrows his brows (a habit he had developed for his confusion)

“I am fine Clark.”

He comes closer, his arms pulling me into a hug which I resisted. I could feel his disappointment at my lack of interaction.

“I don’t know about that. I literally just cauterized an internal bleed less than a few hours ago. I think you ought to come lay back down.”

He keeps one arm wrapped around me, a sort of one armed hug as he tried to usher me out the door. I pulled away.

“I said I am fine Clark. I don’t want to sit down or lay down. We, however, should talk.”

I motioned between the two of us.

“I agree Gia. I need to change out of this but we should talk...without the eyes.”

He motions to the other members on the team, and smirks at me. Innocent enough that I almost tear up. This could be the last time I see this directed toward me, a sort of warm fondness envelops me.

“Let’s go back to my room.”

Clark laughs at how I begin to push him toward the door, he moves because he wants to, not because I can move him under any power of my own.

“Forever the pushy one now this is the Gia I remember.”

“Omg just move it Kent.”

We were almost to the door leading to the hallway, when the doors on the opposite side of the room opened and Kalen came running at my legs, full speed, I picked him up despite the burn to my side. I forced a smile on my face while my heartbeat I knew Clark could hear went wild.

“Momma! Momma! They had the bestest ice cream here! They have the Star Wars kind! I ate’d it and Mr. Alfred let me have some gummy bears too!”

I swung him around noting that the Sugar High he had was just getting started, and kissed his cheek, looking at only his face, because I knew shit was about to hit the fan as soon as I looked up.

“That is Good Baby. I told you that you would get your ice cream for being a good boy.”

It was then that Kalen finally looked beyond me and to the two new additions to the room. The excitement mixed with trepidation as they landed on the man closest to me. I finally looked up at Clark, and when I did. It was the first time he made eye contact with his son. The emotions felt like a punch in the gut.

Confusion and fear are the most prominent. The fear from Clark was new to me. He was never scared, I didn’t even feel fear from him when he flew that spear into the Zod-monster.

“Momma is that the man from the tv? Supa’man?”

He points to Clark who I have yet to see breathe. Clark is only staring at him, taking a few steps back from where the two of us stood.

The rest of the room follows the same suit as him, holding their breath as they await something to happen.

I push his hand down.

“Baby, What did momma say about pointing at people?”

“It not nice. I rude if I points. But momma that’s Supa’man!”

He starts bouncing in my arms excitedly.

“Sorry everyone. You guys know When Superman passed they did and still do a lot of specials about the people he has saved, plus on the kids shows they animated him, talked about him. They even did a whole special about his death and what it means. He became a big fan.”

I looked at my son whose eyes were lit up still their natural blue. He had the biggest smile on his face as he worked around trying to get down. Little did he know I was using him a life jacket. He was the only thing keeping me grounded.

“Ummm yeah baby that’s Superman, but you still can’t point at him.”

“Can’ts I say hi? You put me down momma?”

I kiss his cheek, he wipes it off, not wanting to be seen getting a kiss from his mother in front of Superman.

“Ummm I can but please be the polite young man I know you can be?”

I let him slide down and I watch as he takes the steps over to Clark, which were a lot calmer than I thought they would be. Clark wastes no time dropping to his knee in front of the little boy.

“Momma says you are Su’paman.”

Clark opens his mouth to speak and at first his voice is only a whisper, as clearly his is clogged. He was choked up and I couldn’t blame him.

“Your mother would be right. I am Superman. What is your name?”

“My name is Kalen Jo-seph Smith! You have a cool cape Mr. Supa’man! It’s my favorite color!”

“What color is that Kalen?” I offer trying to smooth the interaction.

“Red!” I smile at his child's excitement.

“Wow! I like that color too. How old are you Kalen?” Clark says

“I’m 3 and a half years old!”

Clark doesn’t look at me, but I know he was confirming the timeline in his mind by Kalen’s age. I had my hand near my mouth already, the other arm wrapped around my torso, trying to disappear. I knew I couldn’t go invisible, not with my son in the room.

“Wow you are such a big boy! Strong little man too I bet.” Clark says with a wide smile, though his emotions were still a mix of shock, fear, and worry.

“Yeah man you should feel little dudes high five. Lil man is going to be catching trains just like you someday.”

Arthur says with a joke to soften the tension in the room and my Kalen feels even better. Something I was grateful for. It was short-lived because it triggered my son to inadvertently change his hairstyle to match the short- straight cut and black that Clark currently had.

Clark jumped slightly along with everyone else in the room, with the exception of Ms. A.I ran over to my son, picking him up again to which he was okay with because he was startled by Clark’s sudden movement. I smiled at the room hoping to show that my child wasn’t dangerous to anyone as everyone’s anxiety and nervousness shot up ten fold.

“I guess I owe a small explanation to you all. My little Kalen here is special. He can change small things about his appearance. His eye color, his hair. The hair can be kind of funny, one time I came in the room it was long and blue. I imagine it will be bigger things as he grows into his powers. It’s the reason I only have trusted him with Ms. Alphonse. He doesn’t do it knowingly yet, which means he can’t control it.”

“He has been able to do this since birth?” Bruce asks

“Not immediately after. They had enough time to note his hair was dark brown and his eyes blue. It honestly didn’t start until he was about 6 months and it was only his eyes. Funny thing was I thought I was going crazy from lack of sleep. I finally broke down one day while trying to get him to stop crying because he had colic and Ms. A came to my door. She helped me so much with him since then. After a good night's rest, I took note that my child’s eyes were no longer like...( I was about to say Clark’s but stopped myself) they weren’t blue but brown. I was staring him in the eyes when they changed back as he lit up upon seeing me. Kalen just has gifts.”

“Well I guess we should expect nothing less from your child.” Victor offers with a smirk.

We all watched his hair go back to normal and I looked to Ms. Alphonse who stepped forward then I looked at my baby.

“Alright little man. It’s getting kind of late, I think someone should start getting ready for bed.”

“But mommy I don’t wanna. Superman is here! What if I go to sleeps and he goes away?”

“Umm...”

I start to say, still not sure if Clark will have anything to do with us, but Clark steps forward and holds out his arms to take Kalen, who excitedly reaches for him. My eyes prick as Clark truly holds his son for the first time and I feel the full feeling of completeness and love I felt pouring out of him. My son hugs him back, just happy be hugging Superman. Clark finally pulls back to swing him to his side, Kalen basically sitting on his forearm, with a huge smile on his face.

“Momma I’m taller than you now!”

“Yep you are! Someday will be that tall without a Superhero holding you, but for now, you are a little mini that needs to get ready for bed.”

“Can Mr. Superman come with me?”

He asks and Clark who hadn’t stopped looking at his son since he appeared finally looked me in my face, eager as to what I would say.

“Ummm... how about you get ready for bed with Ms. Alphonse and if he doesn’t get called away to save the world Mr. Superman will come up and read you a story.”

“Don’t worry Kalen the world will wait when it comes to you. I’ll come read you any story you want.”

Kalen almost squeals he’s so excited and Clark sits him down on the ground excitedly.

Alfred comes over to Ms. A.

“Let me show you to some guest rooms on this side of the wing.”

Clark stands back up after sitting Kalen back in his own two feet, we both watch him leave with Ms. A. Once the door closes, he just looks at me.

“Ummm...I think I left a tea kettle somewhere in Hong Kong. I better go.” Barry takes off and I feel like I am about to fall apart at the intensity at which Clark stares at me.

“ I have to go do...something. Gia remember what I told you.”

Diana offers before leaving the room, Bruce and Victor begins after her.

“Yeah it’s getting pretty damn intense in here. I need a drink.”

Arthur says and follows the rest of the team out.

As soon as the door closes I get the strength to look Clark in his eyes again...

A/n: CLARK KNOWS! Now I can get into the meat of the story!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Tag list for this is open so just let me know if you want in!

TAGLIST

@bloodyinspiredfuck @romyr4

#Henry Cavill #henry cavill x black ofc #henry cavill x ofc #Clark Kent xOFC #SUPERMAN X OFC #Superman #Clark Kent #Man of steel #fanfiction

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bia-wayne-west · 4 years

Text

Stolen kiss – Wally West

Synopsis: You are Wally's tutor of English literature, because you were in need of money to buy a dress. Iris would buy the dress if you helped Wally get a B+ in school. Wally realizes he has a crush on you and decides to steal a kiss from you

Characters: Wally West, Barry Allen, Íris West and Reader [Touch]

Warnings: None.

A / N: Sorry for the mistakes in English, I wrote this in a few minutes and I didn't have time to correct the words. I'm a Latin girl and I'm still learning English. Sorry.

I'm watching YJ and I'm completely in love with Wally's cuteness and how he becomes an idiot around girls. Lol. I hope you like my fic.

Requests are open

Masterlist

[I imagine Wally is like that. Ginger, beautiful and cute.]

Wally West was never good at English literature. He always got C- or D, and that wasn't pleasing Batman or Aunt Iris. Batman decided that all members of Youth Justice should do well at school and get at least one B- at school to stay at YJ.

Your mother is best friend of Iris West and she commented to Iris about how you got A + in every class. Iris offered you $ 400 to teach her nephew and you agreed, since you needed $ 400 to buy a dress for your sister's wedding.

You went to Iris' house and Barry opened the door, a handsome blond man who was trying to be funny. You struggled to laugh after he told the third boring joke.

Iris called you to introduce Wally. You smiled when you saw the red-haired boy with pink cheeks and freckles on his face. He seemed to be cute and funny. Wally stammered when greeting you and you smiled at the scene. Wally wondered if you could hear his heart beat as fast as he could run.

— Wally, this is Y / N. She's my friend's daughter and will be your tutor. — Iris said, with a beautiful smile. She was so beautiful with red hair and bright eyes. Barry, her husband was a very lucky man.

— Hi, Wally. - You said, placing your backpack on the kitchen chair. You approached the boy and held out the hand that was taken by Wally's hand. He squeezed your hand slightly and you could have sworn he vibrated with the contact. — In the coming weeks, I will make you love English Literature.

— Ahh... — He said, trying to find words. — I'm good in other classes but I don't see anything interesting in English Literature.

— When we study Shakespeare, you will be confused at first but then you will love every word and poetry. - You said, trying to sound sweet and sincere.

— Y / N, do you want to have a drink or do you want to go to Wally's room to study? — Barry asked, entering the kitchen holding a shopping bag.

— Thank you, Mr. Allen, but I already had lunch. If Wally wants, we can start now. — You questioned Wally, who was looking at you as if you were a goddess and did not hear what you said. — Wally?

— What? — He asked, looking scared to you.

— Do you want to drink something or do you want to go to your room to study?

— To my room? — He said, it seemed that you spoke Greek. You giggled, grabbing your backpack from the chair and walking over to the redhead.

You put your hand on Wally's shoulder and squeezed it lightly. He was even more ashamed.

— Can you show me where your room is? My backpack is heavy and I have to be home before 7 pm.

— Of course. My room is upstairs. — He said, finally leaving the kitchen and heading towards the house stairs.

You followed the redhead, with your backpack on your back. Iris's house was large and there were several rooms. You followed Wally into a room with the blue door, that was full of band stickers and a big “DO NOT ENTER”.

The inside of the room was gray and had a double bed with a Simpsons sheet. A bookcase was full of comic books and teen books.

A black desk had an expensive computer and a gaming chair. You thought he spends the day playing video games. He turned on his bedroom television on a cartoon channel.

— Wally, I came to teach you English Literature and not to watch cartoons. — Your voice was in a high tone, showing that you were angry. Your body sat on the redhead's bed and started taking some books out of his bag. Wally also sat on the bed and you started teaching him some things about poetry.

(...)

It had been three weeks since you went to Wally's house every day to be his tutor. He was very hardworking and always looked at you with bright eyes. You were lying on Wally's bed while he read a poem he wrote about his favorite video game. As soon as he finished quoting the poem, you applauded him. He was learning fast.

— It's great, Wally. You'll get an A. — You celebrated, getting up from the bed and giving the redhead a hug. He stood and did not return the hug. He was always blushed next to you.

Did you ever hear Barry make a joke when Wally blushed when you said the boy was cute. You were so embarrassed by Barry's comment that you stopped looking at Wally's uncle.

It was only a week before Wally's grades arrived and you stopped being Wally's tutor. He looked sad that you wouldn't be going to his house anymore.

— Wally, I can come here to spend time with you, if you want. Can we be friends. — You said, still hugging the boy.

— I don't want to be your friend.

— Did I do something you didn't like? It's okay if you don't like me. If you get an A in English Literature I will be very happy.

Wally looked you in the eye for a few seconds. Your mouth opened to say something but you were stopped. Wally's lips beat against your lips. The redhead's hands went so quickly to your waist that you wondered if it was human speed.

You looked scared at the boy when he stopped kissing you. His cheeks were as red as his red hair. You let out a breath before you speak again

— Wally, what did you do?

— I like you, Y / N. You are so beautiful and cool, when you smiled at me, I felt my legs shake and it was like in the movies when a beautiful girl walks into the room. — He said, with his hands shaking in an odd way, they seemed to be vibrating. He was smiling like a fool and his lips had a bit of your MAC gloss.

— I don't know what to say, Wally. You are so cute and kind, I thought you were just being nice to me.

— Y / N, you are so amazing that all the guys in the world wanted to go on a date with you. - He said, still with the stupid smile on his face.

— And do you want to be the guy who is going on a date with me? I heard that an ice cream shop opened near my house, I think it would be a good idea to have an ice cream in the afternoon. — You said, running a hand through your hair while looking at the floor in Wally's room.

— Of course, it will be an honor to eat ice cream with you. — The red-haired boy said, taking your hand.

— I will let Iris know that you are taking me home. I bet your Uncle Barry is going to make a joke about it. — You said, ashamed. You picked up your bag and collected the books with Wally's help.

You went down the stairs, listening to Iris talking to Barry about putting a sprinter in the garden. When she saw you and the boy coming down the stairs, she smiled.

— Have you finished studying? Wally's teacher said he was doing great. Thank you, Y/N.

- Wally worked hard to learn. He will get a good grade. - You said, adjusting the bag strap on the shoulder.

— I will take Y / N home. - Wally said. Did you hear Barry hold a smile.

— It's a great idea, Wally. It is dangerous for a pretty girl to walk alone after 5 pm. — Iris spoke, while mixing a cake batter. — If you want to wait, I'll make a delicious banana cake.

— Sure, Mrs. Allen. All the cakes you make are incredible.

— Thanks for the compliment, dear. — Iris asked you to butter a cake pan so that she could bake the cake batter. — You are such a sweet and kind girl. I'd love I would love it if you and Wally were together.

You blushed and looked at the floor. Barry laughed and squeezed Wally's shoulder.

You helped Iris make the icing on the cake and make coffee. After you had a piece of cake and watched Wally and Barry eat 6 pieces each, you decided it was time to go home.

After you said goodbye to Iris and Barry, Wally walked beside you to your home. He looked nervous and he had a beautiful smile that made your stomach full of butterflies.

At some point along the way, you decided to hold Wally's hand. The red-haired boy was shaking and sweating. He was so cute.

As soon as you got home, you smiled at the boy.

— Thank you for accompanying me home. — You said, still holding Wally's hand. The boy looked at you intently and seemed to want to tell you something. Before he said anything, you leaned over and placed a small kiss on the redhead's soft lips.

Wally returned the kiss quickly. His hands went to his waist and his hands went to the boy's red hair. The kiss was so good.

As soon as his lips came off, he stroked your hair and gave you a bright smile. You gave the redhead a hug before walking to your front door.

— Come pick me up at 7:30 pm to have the ice cream.

Wally waited for you go into your house to do a victory dance. He checked that no one was looking and used his speedster speed to get home.

That was the beginning of your love story with Wally West.

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berkmansimagines · 4 years

Text

Look What You Made Me Do (Barry Berkman Imagine)

A/N: I got this request and I’m doing this a little different than the other ones. I usually just reply to the ask, but this was getting really long and has some tws so I thought it would be easier to just make a new post! Thank you so much to the anon that requested this! It was a lot of fun to write and yes I totally did name it after a Taylor Swift song. Gif credit goes to @rozethehat

Request: Hi I have had the idea in my head for a while that Barry could find out the name and address of teen daughters abusive foster dad and kills him/almost kills him or something like that? thank you for writing these I am always excited when you post new ones lol

TW: mentions physical abuse

“Just leave me alone!”

You hang up the phone and throw it on the couch. Your foster father, Alan, called out of the blue tonight. You hadn’t seen or heard from him since the day in court when Barry was granted custody of you. You ignored him at first, then he called again. And then again after that. By the third call, you were so frustrated that you answered just to tell him off. You were on the phone with him for less than a minute before hanging up.

“Hey! What’s going on?”

Startled, you jump back. Then you look up and see Barry standing at the door. He just got home from a shift at Lululemon.

“Jesus, dad! You scared the shit out of me,” you anxiously run your fingers through your hair.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare… Who were you on the phone with?” your father gives you a concerned look.

“It was no one,” you quickly answer.

“It didn’t sound like no one,” Barry keeps pushing.

“Uh,” you nervously shift your weight onto your back foot, “My old foster dad, Alan, he called...”

Barry’s face drops a little bit, shocked. As far as he knew, your old foster dad hadn’t made any contact with you. From the little tidbits that you told him, Barry knew that Alan was a bad dude. And Barry didn’t want him anywhere near you again.

“What? What did he want?” Barry asks, trying his best to remain calm for you. You were obviously upset and a little frazzled, he didn’t want to make it worse.

“He was drunk,” you shrug, shaking your head, “And he was being aggressive. Apparently the state ruled that he’s no longer able to be a foster parent and now he’s blaming me. Like it’s not my fault that he’s an abusive alcoholic asshole... He’s literally all of the bad A’s.”

Frustrated, you rest your hand on your forehead. Barry comes closer to you and pulls you into a hug.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Barry says softly.

After a quiet moment, you pull away from Barry and rest your arms across your chest.

“Did he say anything else?”

“No...no I just told him to leave me alone and hung up. Then you got home,” you explain.

Barry nods, not sure what to say.

“I think I need to take a really long shower,” you sigh, “Alan always makes me feel...gross.”

“Do you want to watch a movie or something after? It would help get your mind off of him,” Barry suggests, knowing it would also help him keep his mind off of Alan.

You give a small nod, “Yeah...yeah that would be really great.”

You start walking away, when Barry spots your phone on the couch. He reaches down and grabs it.

“You almost forgot your phone,” Barry holds it out to you.

“Just keep it there,” you shake your head, “I don’t even want to look at my phone right now.”

“Okay,” Barry nods, putting your phone on the coffee table.

“Thanks dad,” you say quietly.

“For what?”

“Being here.”

You walk away to the bathroom and close the door behind you. Just as Barry hears you turn the shower on, your phone buzzes. You just got a text message. Barry glances down to see who it’s from and his eyes widen. It was from Alan. Barry keeps reading.

Never hang up on me again you fucking bitch

Barry takes a couple of deep breaths to try to calm himself down, but his heart is racing. And then your phone buzzes again - another text from Alan.

When I get my hands on you, you’ll be sorry

Barry’s entire face drops and his ears are now ringing. He’s furious. When I get my hands on you… who the fuck did Alan think he was? Barry wasn’t going to let anyone threaten you and get away with it.

Barry springs to his feet and walks towards your bedroom. He never went into your bedroom without your permission because he wanted to value your personal space. But this was different, he was trying to keep you safe. At least that’s what he told himself. Barry knew that you had all the old paperwork from trying to emancipate from the foster system, it was in a desk drawer. One of those documents must’ve had Alan’s address.

Barry enters your bedroom and goes straight to your desk. He wasn’t worried about you catching him, he knew you would be in the shower for a while. It doesn’t take Barry too much time digging through your stuff before he finds the paperwork. He quickly scans each page until-

“Yes,” Barry mutters to himself.

He’s found Alan’s address. Barry immediately takes his phone out of his pocket and puts the address in, he’s only twenty minutes away. Barry rushes out of your bedroom and grabs his gun. If he really hurried, he could get back before you even noticed he was gone. He was going to take that chance. Barry leaves the apartment, gets into his car and speeds to get to Alan’s as fast as he can.

The next thing Barry knows, he’s arrives at Alan’s house. He parks across the street and gets out of the car. He looks around, the street is quiet. Barry quietly sneaks around the house, looking for a way in, and finds an open window. He takes a look inside and the room is empty. Barry opens the window a little more and gets inside the house.

Now inside, Barry takes a better look around. He sees an unmade twin sized bed and realizes that he’s in your old bedroom. It’s very small and a little cluttered. Barry sees an old belt on the floor by the foot of your bed. It didn’t look like anything that would belong to you. Suddenly Barry feels a buzz inside his pocket. He takes his phone out and sees a new text message from you:

Dad! You don’t have to do this. Please come home

After you finished showering and getting dressed, you noticed the emancipation paperwork on your desk. The page with Alan’s address was right on top. You definitely didn’t leave those documents out. You looked around the apartment for Barry, but he was gone and the mattress he kept his gun under was a little uneven. Then you put the pieces together.

Barry looks down at his phone for a few moments. What was he doing? You never wanted Barry to do this. In fact, you’ve talked to him a few times about how you didn’t want him to hurt people anymore. Barry just shakes his head, this was a bad idea. Maybe he should go back-

“Who the fuck are you?”

Barry looks up from his phone and sees Alan standing in the doorway. He smelled like cheap alcohol and looked drunk.

Barry pulls his gun out from his jeans and keeps it close to his side. Alan doesn’t notice. He takes a step inside the room to get a better look at Barry.

“Oh shit… you’re that guy. Y/n’s real father…” Alan raises an eyebrow, then snickers, “Why are you here? Want to return her already?”

Alan sits down at the foot of your old bed, a few feet from Barry. He still doesn’t know that Barry has a gun. He’s so drunk that he’s not even concerned, he actually finds this kind of amusing.

“Why did you call her tonight?” Barry asks coldly, tightening his grip on the gun.

“Why do you care?” Alan doesn’t answer the question.

“Y/n has been doing really great. She’s doing well in school, she’s happy. And she doesn’t want to hear from you anymore. Don’t contact her again,” Barry warns.

Alan starts cracking up, “Or what? You’re going to stop me?”

Barry clutches onto his gun. All he wants to do is shoot Alan, but he’s trying his hardest to fight that urge. He just wants to get out of here and home to you.

“No, I’d kill you,” Barry says in a low, serious voice.

Barry turns around and starts to walk away. When Barry reaches the open window, he sees Alan pick up the belt beside your bed from the corner of his eye.

“Let y/n know that I’ve got the belt waiting for her,” Alan laughs.

Barry’s eyes widen and he rubs his finger against the gun’s trigger. His mind is racing. He’s just imagining you in this room, on the floor crying, as Alan hits you with that belt.

Impulsively, Barry turns around and raises his gun. Before Alan even has time to react, Barry pulls the trigger twice. One bullet to the chest, the other to the head. Alan drops to the floor. He’s dead.

“Fuck!” Barry curses to himself.

How was he going to explain this to you? Should he say anything? He had no idea what he was going to tell you. Then Barry feels his phone buzz again. Another text from you:

Please respond, I’m worried about you

Barry takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He then picks up the bullet casings off the ground and looks around to make sure there’s no other evidence of him being here. Barry climbs out the window and quietly sneaks back to his car. He texts you back as he’s walking:

I’m sorry for making you worry. On my way home now

Thank you so much again for this request!

#barry berkman imagine #barry berkman x reader #barry hbo imagine #barry berkman x teen!daughter #requests #bbtd

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backtothestart02 · 5 years

Text

The Updraft - 1/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: For 601 anon...here’s the first chap. It’ll be a bit before things get really volatile between Barry and Iris, but it starts depressing as heck all the same. Enjoy! lol.

Based off the 6x01 spoiler that Barry and Iris will not be grieving Nora in a healthy way...taken to the extreme.

...

Synopsis: Post 5x22 - Barry and Iris' struggle to grieve Nora in a healthy way escalates when they discover the changed date of Barry's disappearance.

...

Chapter 1 -

Day One.

The sun filtering through the window beat down on her face, warming her hair and burning her skin. She couldn’t remember the last time the sun had felt so hot. She turned to Barry’s side of the bed, to complain to him maybe, but he wasn’t there. Sitting up slowly and pushing her hair out of her eyes, reaching for a hair tie with one hand as she did so, Iris scanned the room.

“Babe?” she called out.

He didn’t peek out of the bathroom or run upstairs. There was no note on her bedside, and his phone was gone. She reached for hers to see if there was a text from him, something explaining his absence, but there was nothing.

“Hmm.”

She gnawed on her bottom lip, trying to think if she was making too big of a deal of this or not. Sure, there were times when they missed each other in the morning, too busy to write a note or blow a kiss because something important had come up that demanded their complete attention. Still, something about this morning felt different.

Something different…

She set her phone down. Suddenly she was terrified of talking to Barry on the phone. Would the heartbreak in his voice kill her? Would she break down crying? Would he come home? Did he even care if she was hurting? He hadn’t even told her he was leaving. He hadn’t kissed her goodbye or whispered good morning. Hell, it felt like she’d lost him instead of Nora.

Her insides froze.

Nora. Her daughter. Their daughter.

They would still have their beautiful girl one day, but she wouldn’t be the same. They’d find a way to keep Barry from disappearing, so Nora would have her father. She wouldn’t resent her mother. They’d be one big happy family. Everything would be different. Iris would love her daughter just as much as she loved the person she’d gotten to know over the past several months.

But she’d never see that version of her daughter again. And that…

That was too much to think about right now.

She climbed out of bed and sorted through her clothes until she found a comfy yet professional look that she was satisfied with. She did her make-up and her hair and headed downstairs to make herself some coffee.

There was no one in the kitchen. She couldn’t decide if that relieved or saddened her. She felt cold, almost like ice, and so very in need of Barry holding her. The warmth in his embrace was a paradise, a safe haven - and right now, it was missing.

After breakfast, which consisted of two cups of coffee and half of a banana, Iris resisted the urge to run upstairs to call Barry. She had work to get to, anyway. She couldn’t let herself be dragged down by Nora’s…

She couldn’t let herself fall apart. She hadn’t when Barry went into the speed force and she’d thought she’d never see him again. She couldn’t do that with Nora now.

“Damn it.”

She ran into the bathroom to grab some tissues and blot at her eyes.

“Damn you, Nora.” Her breath caught in her throat as guilt flooded through her. “No…not- I didn’t mean - I’m so sorry, I-” She fell to the floor, sobbing.

After that, she was incoherent, unable to speak or breathe or move. All she could hear were the cries emerging from her own lips. All she could feel were damp cheeks and the tears running down them, dripping onto her neck and fingers urgently trying to brush them away. She couldn’t think any thoughts other than, Stop crying, Iris. Stop it.

God, where was Barry?

A knock sounded at the door to the loft during one of her inhales, and she forced herself to be silent.

“Barry?”

A key turned in the lock, and Iris managed to get to her feet and compose herself somewhat before the door slowly opened. Only one other person had a key to hers and Barry’s loft – for emergencies.

“Hey, baby girl.”

Her voice cracked. “Dad.”

And then she was in his arms sobbing, because this was too damn hard. Because she needed her husband. Because everything she was feeling was so beyond her, so hard to understand, and memories were started to fade, and she hated it. Everything was a blur. Everything was nothing without her daughter.

Her husband should be here.

“Shouldn’t you be-” She tried when she finally found her voice again.

“Barry asked me to check up on you. Said you weren’t answering your phone, and he was worried about you.”

Well, now she felt terrible.

“Barry…” She swallowed. “Barry said that?”

Her dad’s brows furrowed as he rubbed her back soothingly.

“Yeah, baby. Are you okay?” Iris gave him a look. “I mean, besides…that.”

That?

Iris sighed, putting a lid on her raging emotions. She didn’t want to pick a fight.

“I was just thinking things I shouldn’t have been thinking.” She took a breath. “Left my phone upstairs for the last fifteen minutes or so. I was confused why he left with no warning and started thinking…” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I was wrong.”

Joe watched her carefully.

“He loves you, honey.”

Iris forced a tight smile. “I know.”

“We had a case come in early this morning. Barry stayed longer because Singh wanted to know why… Why Nora West wouldn’t be coming in today or-”

“Ever.”

Joe was silent.

It’s West-Allen, Iris wanted to add, but she knew there was no point. The world in later 2018 and 2019 had known Nora as Nora West. No matter how much she and Nora had wanted to scream from the rooftops that Barry was her father.

He still was, even now. And he must be hurting so badly right now, having to explain Nora’s absence in a way Singh would understand - if he even remembered her. She started crying again.

“Oh, baby.”

Joe rocked his daughter in his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He started to sing as he swayed, lulling her to relax.

“I need Barry,” she said quietly when she’d calmed again.

“I know,” he said. He needs you too.

...

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.

#westallen #fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #westallen fanfiction #the updraft #chapter 1

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keyboard-smashed · 5 years

Text

The Storm That's Brewing

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality (probs more I haven't planned yet lol)

Warnings: None? Tell me if there are some I didn't think of

Note: This is a fic I've already posted to ao3 (keyboardsmashed33) but I've decided to post it here because ?? I have a new side-blog about the story (my-keyboard-did-it-not-me)

Superpower! Roommate! au regards

Chapter summary: Virgil and Patton Summers move into a new apartment with Logan Barry and Roman King.

-----

Chapter 1- Settling In

"Have you got everything?" Virgil's aunt asked, unpacking the last box from the car.

"Yep, think so!" Patton said cheerfully. Virgil wasn’t so sure.

Patton picked up the first few boxes, Virgil following his example, and started moving towards the apartment building before Virgil exclaimed, "Wait!"

He quickly scanned the boxes again, "What was it Lerman asked us to bring?"

"Logan," Patton corrected, "Asked us to bring the-" He quickly checked his text messages from his new roommate, "-kitchen supplies."

Virgil quietly cursed.

"We forgot the only thing our new roommate asked us to bring. He leased the apartment we're going to be staying in and we forgot the only things he asked us to bring. God, we have to live with him for how long? He's gonna think we're lazy or-"

“Virgil! Sweetie," His aunt interrupted, "Look what you're carrying."

Virgil did as his aunt suggested and found, surely enough, he was carrying a big container labelled "cookery stuff" in his own rushed handwriting.

"Oh."

His aunt chuckled, "Alright now that that's sorted, you boys had best start taking these boxes up and meet your new roommates. I'll wait here and join you with the last few boxes in a minute."

Virgil and Patton agreed and each carried a few boxes to the elevator in their apartment building. Despite their apartment being on the fifth floor, and Virgil having no athletic ability, Virgil decided it was safest if he took the stairs. Who knew what could go wrong in an elevator. He left his boxes with Patton, who was practically buzzing with excitement to meet his new roommate whom he had been texting for the past two weeks, and went back to the car to fetch a few more boxes, where he found his aunt chatting with an unquizzically attractive guy.

The guy towered above Virgil’s aunt, which in all fairness, wasn’t difficult since she stood at a mere 5ft. But the guy was still tall- Virgil estimated he was roughly 6ft tall, making him a whole 6 inches taller than himself. He was well built too, darn him, with the body of a jock.

He simply wore a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and skinny black jeans (that, unlike Virgil’s, had no tears in them), and finally a red scarf to tie the outfit together. Despite the scarf, Virgil thought the guy’s outfit was completely innapropriate for the chilly October weather that had Virgil shivering in his thick black hoodie. The air grew warm around Virgil as he approached.

When Virgil’s aunt saw him coming, she waved, causing the other man to turn around. Virgil’s jaw dropped. He looked like a sculpture- with prominent yet warm and soft features that had to be a result of make-up, because nobody could be that naturally beautiful in Virgil’s opinion.

His auburn hair was styled back neatly, except from one stray hair that stubbornly stuck up which Virgil found rather endearing. The man’s eyes were a beautiful and rich chocolate colour (and Virgil sure had a sweet-tooth).

Virgil found his mouth agape and quickly closed it. He was suddenly very grateful that he’d remembered to put on foundation that morning, otherwise his blush would be painfully obvious. Get a grip, he told himself.

Virgil’s aunt smiled knowingly. “Virgil! This lovely gentleman is Roman. He saw me with all these boxes and offered to help, it turns out he’s your other roommate!”

Virgil’s eyes widened in shock. This handsome stranger that Virgil totally was not crushing on, was his new roommate. Oh, he knew he was screwed right then.

Roman extended his hand to Virgil, “Roman King. Nice to meet you.” He smiled.

Virgil gulped and shook his hand, “I’m Virgil- uh- Virgil Summers. Nice to meet you too.” He stammered. Great, you’ve been here one minute and already made a fool of yourself, he scolded himself.

Roman let go of his hand, much to Virgil’s dismay. He noted, “You’re hot.” His smile fell as he tried to correct himself, “I mean warm. Your hand is really hot.”

Virgil was pleased to see that Roman’s face was as red as his hair. He laughed, “Thanks I guess, but you’re probably just freezing because you’re wearing only a shirt in the middle of fall.”

Roman brought his hands to his face in mock annoyance, “It’s fashionable. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

Virgil raised his eyebrow. “Oh yeah, Prince?”

“King.” He corrected.

Virgil’s aunt, who’d been silently watching this back and forth, cleared her throat. The two gentlemen stopped arguing and faced her.

“Oh no, don’t let me stop you two.” She said. The two looked at each other briefly but remained silent. “Oh alright then, why don’t you two take some boxes up then? You can continue while you walk.”

The pair agreed and walked to the elevator together, exchanging awkward smiles, and small talk, when they ran right into Patton.

“Oh Virgil! Who’s this?” Patton asked, trying to get a good look at Roman whose face was hidden behind the three boxes he was carrying (like a show off, Virgil thought).

“Pat, this is Roman Queen. Roman, this is my brother Patton.” Virgil gestured at them with his head, since his hands were full.

“It’s Roman King, but I actually am a queen so you didn’t offend me.” Roman quipped.

“It’s great to meet you! Are you our new roommate or just a kind stranger?” Patton asked.

“I am indeed your roommate, I would shake your hand but...”

“Oh of course! I can take those up in the lift and you two can go get the rest of the boxes?” Patton offered. Virgil agreed.

The elevator was already waiting when they got there.

“Are you sure you can take all these by yourself?” Roman asked when the elevator was stocked with boxes, Patton standing in the centre.

“Well, I am a little boxed in, aren’t I?” Patton joked.

Roman laughed And Virgil groaned that he shouldn't encourage him.

“But anyway, I’ll be fine, Logan said he was happy to assist me. He’s unpacking in the apartment.” He continued.

“Kay, well there are only a few more boxes anyway so we can take them up ourselves.”

Patton nodded. “Tell Aunt Maria I’ll call her tonight.”

“’Course.”

Roman and Virgil made their way back to the car where they discovered that what they’d thought was only few boxes, turned out to be another seven, of which Roman took four. He sat on the curb while Virgil and his aunt said their goodbyes.

“Message me whenever and be careful- especially because of, you know...” Maria trailed off.

“Yeah, yeah, I will.” Virgil promised, picking up the remaining two boxes. Roman stood from the curb.

“Roman, you’ve got my number in case this one doesn’t check in, you can free to message any time for a chat too.” Maria said. Virgil shot a strange look at Roman who simply smiled in response.

“Bye! Té amo!” She called out as they walked away.

“You too!” Virgil shouted back, a little quieter.

“¿Hablas Español?” Roman asked.

“Huh? Oh right, yeah no. Not really. Maria does. I just know a few phrases.” Virgil replied. He opened the door for Roman, who he doubted could even see with all the boxes he was carrying. A hypothesis that was proven correct when Roman walked straight into the elevator door. “Well done.” Virgil sneered.

Roman put down what he was carrying and glared at Virgil, pressing the button, and not breaking eye contact until the elevator arrived. When it arrived, Roman moved his boxes inside and took Virgil’s too, stepping into the elevator. He moved to make space for Virgil who looked nervously inside.

“I know it’s a bit cramped but I don’t bite, Dr Gloom. Well, not usually.” He laughed. Virgil remained motionless.

“You go on up, I don’t trust elevators.” Virgil shrugged. Roman nodded and picked up a box; “What are you doing?” Virgil asked.

Roman passed him a box. “You don’t like elevators so we’ll walk up the stairs, unless you can teleport?”

“I can walk up some stairs by myself.” Virgil said pointedly, handing the box back to Roman.

“I’m sure you can, even with those short legs,” He looked down at Virgil, who was only 5’6” (a perfectly reasonable height, Virgil thought, Roman was just unusually tall), “But you need not.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “God, you really are just a Disney prince in training, aren’t you? Fine, I’ll text Pat to get the boxes.” He said, texting while he spoke. “Or you could, you know, just text my aunt since you got her number for some reason.”

Patton replied almost immediately, ‘Sure thing!’.

Virgil clicked floor seven on the elevator and moved out before the doors closed him in.

Roman raised his arms in defence, “Hey, she gave my her number, not the other way round. She just wants to check on you.”

Virgil slid his phone into his pocket. He walked next to Roman, on the inside of the wall, so that Roman would have to walk further. “You could’ve only spoken to her for like two minutes before I came out!”

“Ah, coming out, how difficult. Anyway, I’m very charming.” First he called himself a queen, then a coming out joke? This guy was surely gay, Virgil reckoned (or hoped).

He waved the coming out joke away, “Right, Prince Charming, I forgot.”

Roman looked delighted, “Why thank you!” He beamed.

They walked in an (awkward? Virgil wasn’t sure) silence for a few seconds. Anxious to fill the silence, Virgil coughed, then asked “So, uh, what’s Logan like?”

Roman put his hands up in the universal ‘I don’t know’, “Dunno, haven’t met him yet. I got here just after you. My stuff’s coming in a few hours, I just wanted t get here early and meet the new roomies.” He explained.

“Weird, but sure.” Virgil panted, “Why are there so may stairs?”

“What, your short legs tired, Fall Short Boy?” Roman teased.

“Bad insult, good reference, challenge accepted.” Virgil sprinted up the stairs. He heard Roman exclaim something along the lines of ‘Unfair!’ and race after him.

Virgil was easily outmatched. Roman reached their apartment while Virgil was still in the fourth floor hall, moaning about his loss and unfair advantages Roman had despite the fact that nobody could hear him. He’d given up on running as soon as Roman passed him, walking the rest of the way and enjoying the brief silence which he felt was going to be a rare occurrence with both Patton and Roman around, and who knew what Logan was like?

When he finally made it to the apartment, he found the door ajar. So much for Roman’s princely manners then, shouldn’t he be escorting Virgil in? Not like Virgil minded, of course.

Inside the apartment were the sounds of gentle conversation and movement- then suddenly the sound of something smashing. Virgil rushed inside.

“What happened?” Virgil asked at the same time as Patton said, “It’s okay!”

A man, whom Virgil assumed was Logan, turned to face him. He wore jeans, a black button up t-shirt, a dark blue tie and glasses almost identical to Patton’s.

Logan smoothed his pristinely slicked back medium-brown hair into place and pushed his glasses further up on his nose,

“Hello, I am Logan Barry, your new roommate. The noise you just heard was a plate smashing which would be the result of Patton and Roman's inefficient unpacking method."

Virgil looked at Logan cautiously, he seemed nice enough- a little direct, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“Virgil Summers.” He replied.

Roman glanced at Virgil, nodding slightly, but addressed Logan, "It would actually be very efficient if I was working with someone that could catch- no offence Patton."

Patton swept his hand through the air like he was literally brushing off the comment.

"Oh, no worries, it's true." He agreed.

"For safety reasons, I think it would be wise if somebody swept up the plate shards.” Logan reasoned.

"I'll do it!" Patton volunteered, searching through the cleaning boxes for a dustpan and brush. It didn't take long, since there was only one but he still didn't find it, "Oh dear, I think we've forgotten the dustpan and brush."

"Let me check." Roman said, rooting through the boxes. "Uh, what colour is it?" He asked.

"Ooh, it's a lovely dark blue." Patton replied.

Roman pulled out a blue dustpan and brush, "Aha! A new set of eyes always helps." He knelt and swept up the plate fragments, Logan occasionally pointed at a piece he missed and Virgil tried to suppress his snickering as Roman imitated Logan when he turned his back.

By 8pm, most of the apartment was ready, due to Logan's incessant nagging that it would be optimal if they completely unpacked that same day. Boxes were unpacked and stacked in a corner in the family room which was otherwise empty until Roman's things were to arrive.

The only messy parts of the apartment were the rooms, as everyone, other than Logan, had decided to leave theirs (mostly) alone until they could paint them- only putting duvets on the beds that had been left by the old owners, or supplied by the landlord, Virgil wasn't sure.

The rooms were quickly claimed: Logan, who had arrived first and already picked the room, chose the room with the best view for stargazing; Roman picking the largest room which he measured with a measuring tape he found in one of Logan's boxes; Virgil opting for room closest to the kitchen, which unfortunately shared a wall with Roman who had blasted Disney songs on his phone while unpacking and Patton subsequently moving into the second smallest room that, to his delight, was the easiest to access the main room (or family room as he liked to call it).

Virgil's room was one of the messiest due to Logan's insanely fast organisation skills and the fact that Roman didn't have anything to put in his room yet. Virgil's bed, which was a simple black wooden bed, took up a good portion of the room. It was a snug fit with a wardrobe and inbuilt desk, as well as Virgil's few packed up belongings, but Virgil didn't care.

Virgil sat on his bed, tired from the excessive amounts of exercise and socialization he'd done in the last few hours. He’d managed to avoid too much, ducking into his room as soon as he felt like he’d done enough not to feel guilty about not helping.

All Virgil really wanted to do after a long day was rest. However, fate is a cruel thing. And fate decided he wasn't allowed to rest. As soon as he thought his job unpacking was done, he heard a car horn and then a knock on his door.

Begrudgingly, he got out of bed. He manoeuvred the boxes in his room and opened the door to find Patton, looking as bubbly and energised as ever. Virgil had no idea how he did it.

"What?" Virgil yawned.

"Roman's stuff's here!" Patton said. He was rolling on the balls of his feet, ready to run and help Roman as soon as possible. Virgil however, was missing the warm spot on his bed.

"So?" He leaned against the doorframe, hoping Patton would just drop the subject and leave him be but if previous experience meant anything, he’d have no such luck.

"Oh, don't be a couch potato, come help us get the couch, please?” He asked hopefully, dragging out the please and launching into his signature irresistible puppy-dog eyes.

"I can't be a couch potato if there's no couch?" Virgil had meant it as a criticism to Patton’s- was it even a pun?- but his heart wasn’t in it.

"Exactly!" Patton exclaimed, "Plus Roman said he'd buy us all dinner if we helped."

“You had me at free dinner.” Virgil’s stomach rumbled in agreement.

-----

Taglist: ~nobody~ xoxo

(also does anyone wanna tell me how to link chapters or do anything at all?????????? pls)

Chapter 2:

#the storm that's brewing #fanfic #already a few chapters on a03 #prinxiety #logicality #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #sanders sides #original story

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