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#Although I was an artsy fartsy kid

tapioca-puddingg · 5 months

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The Guardians of Light and Content Creation

More headcanons that no one asked for :p

Sora ❤️

plays fornite, minecraft and roblox

plays with Ven and Lea

i think horror games might be too scary for him but he tries anyway

tries to get Riku and Kairi to play with him but they ain't havin it

occasionally enjoys RPGs too

calls Riku when he gets stuck on a hard part

sometimes plays fighting games with Riku. He always loses

Riku 💙

I can't see him doing content, I feel like he'd be more of a private person

although i feel like he might show up in Sora's streams from time to time

he's the person Sora calls when he gets stuck on a hard part

Sora also calls him to get his reaction to certain things. if not in person, then thru discord

also plays fighting games and Mario Kart with Sora and Kairi sometimes. He wins almost every time, Sora accuses him of cheating

Kairi 🌸

as for gaming, i can see her streaming rhythm games, like Project Diva

also plays Terraria

plays Animal Crossing with Xion

sometimes plays Smash and Mario Kart with Sora and Riku. she's gotten a couple wins, but Riku is surprisingly good at the game and wins a lot

very down to earth and is sweet with her chat

Bonus: Namine 🤍

artsy fartsy

does art streams

maybe art tutorial videos

likes drawing the Guardians of Light

she takes requests from the GoL too

i can also see her learning to paint

also plays lofi hip-hop

Roxas🍦

didn't even know what games were until Lea showed him

now he's hooked

likes JRPGs and MMOs

convinced Lea to play FF14 with him

he's a hardcore raider. he gets very intense

stays up til the wee hours of the night until Lea and Isa force him to stop playing and go to bed

joins Lea and Xion for meme reactions

Xion 🐚

i can see her streaming or doing videos of chill games like Animal Crossing or the Sims

has lofi hip-hop playing in the background

joins Lea and Roxas for meme reactions

also likes playing party games with the squad

Lea 🔥

Horror games and asymmetrical horror games (Dead by Daylight, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc)

also Lethal Company with Ven, Roxas and Isa

he tends to scream and freak out. Isa gets frustrated with him in-game

Everyone else laughs at him (hey what are friends for)

meme reaction videos occasionally

plays with funny mods

Bonus: Isa 🌙

Similar to Riku, he doesn't create content, but he does play games sometimes

also enjoys listening to podcasts and reading

will tune in to Lea and Ven's streams on occasion

is amused by Lea's screaming when he's not playing with him

plays games with Lea and Ven

does not understand Roxas and Lea's memes

Aqua ❄️

i think it's canon that she likes to bake, so i think she could run a cooking channel or a cooking blog

she'll have terra or eraqus come in at the end to taste test the food

canonically is into arts and crafts, so maybe she'll make videos about jewelry-making and 3D printing

i can also see her making crystal bracelets

maybe she could run her own online shop?

Terra 🤎

defo a gym bro

does workout tutorials

does those videos where he shows what he eats in a day

canonically is into woodworking so he could do content surrounding that too

and 3D printing

i just think 3D printing is cool okay

plays Smash with Ven. Things get pretty heated between them

Ventus 💚

also streams minecraft, roblox and fortnite

also Lethal Company

also likes Sonic

tries to get Terra to play with him, but those type of games just aren't for him

"You kids and your video games"

Aqua doesnt too much understand it either

plays with Sora, Lea, and Isa

tries to play asymmetrical horror games

plays Smash with Terra. that game might singlehandedly tear their friendship apart

Bonus: Vanitas ☠️

plays online games

CoD, Overwatch, etc

Typical toxic gamer. You don't wanna hear him in lobbies

Has been banned from vc multiple times

None of the GoL wanna play with him lmao

Rip

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vydri · 1 year

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1. Are you named after anyone?

No, maybe my middle name but idk

2. When was the last time you cried?

Um probably August, but maybe a few times since then just over silly stuff like sweet things on TV lol

3. Do you have kids?

Yes, one kid

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Eh not really

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Hair probably, or what they're wearing.

6. What's your eye color?

Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I don't really like scary movies so happy endings... although I don't think a movie has to have a happy ending to be good.

8. Special talents?

I'd like some.

9. Where were you born?

A small city in NW Oklahoma

10. What are your hobbies?

Artsy fartsy and crafty stuff

11. Have any pets?

I don't right now, but there is a dog that lives in the same house as me.

12. What sports do you play or have played?

Lol me play sports? Well I have played a tiny bit of soccer and basketball when I was little, how about freeze tag?

13. How tall are you?

5'3"

14. Favorite subject in school?

Woodshop, we didn't have an art class in high school but i did in middle school and I liked it a lot. Oh and my home ec classes in middle school was great too

15. Dream job?

Oh gosh idk making toys or dolls, or working in animation

Thanks for tagging me @thiickachu

Please don't feel obligated to do this at all but I'll tag a few people anyway ♡

@mercy-misrule @ladygummybuns @lotternlibertine @heartlesspop88 @ashcray

And whoever else that might want to do it

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tailoredshirt · 2 years

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Things I wish the 911 Lone Star writers understood about Texas (and maybe some stuff fic writers will find helpful if they don't live here)

- Not every bar in Texas is a honkytonk bar, although they certainly exist. Most bars will look like any other bar in the US

- I don't know any Texan who would believes a newbie should "earn their spurs" (omg) by line dancing. I couldn't line dance if you put a gun to my head and I've lived here my whole life. Kudos to those who can

- The Austin housing market is ridiculous, and every time I see Carlos's house I become indignant about how a 20-something young cop could afford such a nice place on his salary. No, I will never let it go.

- Austin is a college town! It is notoriously the most liberal, artsy fartsy city in Texas, and I'm irritated that the show doesn't acknowledge it at all (except for maybe Marjan's comment about SXSW). "Keep Austin Weird" is a popular bumper sticker (as TK quoted in 1x05)

- Other popular bumper stickers: "Don't Mess With Texas" "I wasn't born in Texas but I got here as fast as I could!"

- Texas school kids take Texas history classes in middle school. We celebrate Texas Independence Day and other relevant dates.

- I know someone who is literally on an FBI watch list for being part of a group who petitions and works towards Texas becoming its own country again. They exist. Some people are very proud of Texas's history as its own country.

- Most native Texans have experienced snow!!! Not the way it happens up north, with everything covered in 5 feet and snow plows and shit, but we do get snow here. It's enough of a novelty that it's a biggish deal when it happens. My city will shut down if the snow or ice is relatively bad because Texas just doesn't have the infrastructure to handle it, which is one reason the February freeze was so bad

- Texans will pride themselves on "well, Northerners couldn't handle our summers" but we will also complain about the fucking heat every time we get in our cars and the dashboard reads 120F. Idk how TK walks around outside in hoodies all the time unless it's winter, I would roast

- No, Austin is not a small town, but I'm not even sure Carlos meant that literally? It's small compared to NYC for sure. I don't live there, maybe Austin locals can interpret that better.

- Brands that have cult status in Texas: Blue Bell ice cream, Whataburger, H-E-B (grocery chain)

- Idk, there's probably more. Feel free to correct me or add things. This is based on my own limited experience of course.

#911 lone star

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thefangirlphenomenon · 2 years

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A Secret History (one paragraph summary at the end if you don't want to read the whole thing)

“Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful, to souls like Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves?”

- Donna Tartt, A Secret History page 44

I bought a dog-eared copy of this book at a second-hand bookshop and was immediately hooked when I turned the page and read the line “a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs.” I think all of us can identify with this idea, we long for everything to look as if it comes straight from one of those aesthetic collages we see on Pinterest. We try to make our study materials look like they’ve come straight out of a studygram, we try to make our homes look like the ones we see in catalogues (that never look as if anyone lives in them at all) and even now I’m trying to make my writing sound real, relatable, and as poetic as possible.

Richard Papen, the main character is about as average as people come (except for his love of Greek). I love that about him. He’s not a sixteen-year-old protégé hell-bent on saving the world. He’s a normal college kid who drinks, does drugs and is squeamish about dissecting frogs and the myriad of other things that they do in pre-med biology classes (I don’t know what they do there, I’m studying journalism and haven’t set foot in a biology classroom since I was 18). He’s not a perfect student and he has trouble making friends and is ultimately very easy to relate to.

He is however pretentious and disingenuous about who he really is and his upbringing and again I loved that – because honestly who isn’t a little bit pretentious sometimes? Who wouldn’t love to be able to reinvent themselves completely in a place where nobody knows the old you? The main characters come across as likeable (except for Bunny) and I enjoyed reading about their escapades. Some of the book did however feel quite repetitive to me (but I do understand that the intention of that is to make them seem more like normal university kids. Either that or my English teacher has just succeeded in making sure I over analyse every text I ever read).

This book falls into the dark academia category and is very similar to M.L Rio’s novel If We were Villains (although I do prefer M.L Rio’s novel). If you’re looking for a young adult book that has very little romance in it and lots of suspense, I would highly recommend this book. I loved the writing style (although I didn’t like the way Donna Tartt wrote The Little Friend) but felt like the book was a little bit too long and that there were parts that could’ve been left out.

Overall, the book was a great read and while it took me a while to get through because of the boring parts I’d still give it an 7/10.

Summary of my review: This book has pretentious artsy fartsy characters, murder, mystery, suspense, and great poetic quotes in it. It has some boring parts that could’ve been left out.

7/10

#donna tartt #bookworm #bibliophile #bookreader #book review #book reccs #literature #writers on tumblr #the goldfinch #bookish #booknerd #dark acamedia #henry winter #julian morrow #bunny corcoran

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jungxk · 5 years

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just one (iv)

notes: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

warnings: eventual smut, swearing, bad habits (mentions of drinking, smoking etc). trigger warnings: non-consensual touching/ sexual harrassment, verbal harrassment

genre: humour, drama, romance, college!au

wordcount: 10.3k

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

jisoo blows a raspberry into your pillow. "do we have to invite taehyung?"

"yes," you say definitively while she pouts. "he's our friend, babe!"

"he's your friend! for me he's just the guy i'm playing chicken with and seulgi doesn't even like him!"

"that's not true," the older girl weighs in. "he's nice to look at. i can appreciate that," she pokes jisoo in the side. "besides, we need him. jimin plus one of his friends have to be part time bouncers, and if he doesn't bring taehyung he might bring jaebum again," her face twists in annoyance just from saying his name. "and i won't allow that. not at my birthday party."

"jaebum," jisoo's face scrunches up thoughtfully. "who's he again? the name rings a bell..."

you're already rubbing the ache in your head at the memory. "my birthday from two years ago. he put his hand up my dress and seulgi kicked his balls up into his throat," you pat jisoo's back reassuringly because she still looks confused. "you don't remember because you were throwing up in the kitchen sink."

"and if i see his face in my house again i won't hold back," seulgi finishes, flipping some hair. "the nerve of that prick. i only stopped there because you asked me to, you know!"

"well yeah because with the size of those heels you were wearing you might have killed the guy! do you know how hard it would be to get blood out the carpet?" you explain. everything had happened so quickly you felt like you could barely recall the memory; jaebum had been sweet talking you all night and you'd only ever thrown him a polite smile. then the next thing you know your skirt went flying up but then suddenly he was on the floor crying, right under seulgi's pointy heel. "now that i think about it, i don't know why i didn't see him coming..."

"because you never do," seulgi says, laying her legs over your lap while she decorates the guest list with glitter penmanship. "you don't know how many times i've sent a guy hightailing before he could get to you, ____. there's just something about you, i don't know what it is! like ants all over sugar, i've never seen anything like it!”

jisoo coos, smushing your cheeks. "our pretty flower all the bees want a piece of!"

"you're both ridiculous," you giggle, letting her pinch your face anyway.

"we should send her to every party with some garlic and a vial of holy water," seulgi laughs, joining in to tickle you.

"well maybe we won't have to," jisoo says slyly. "now that you've got hoseok."

"hoseok," you repeat, blinking thoughtfully. "right, hoseok...! should i invite him?"

"are you crazy? of course!" jisoo exclaims. "why wouldn't you?"

"because it's a big step," seulgi says. "showing up to a party together is like, a statement. an implicit one, but still. have you guys talked about becoming official yet?"

"not really?" you shuffle nervously. "hobi always just sort of...got the message that i wanted to go slow. he hasn't pushed it and neither have i."

"talk to him," jisoo urges with a smile. "come on, this is hobi. even if you explain you're not ready to go exclusive yet, you think that'll be a dealbreaker for him? the guy would probably wait for the rest of the century if you asked him too!"

"she's right," seulgi nods. "we say it like it's a big deal, but it really is just a party. a good guy like him wouldn't get insecure over something like that, especially if you felt strongly about it."

"you're right," you nod to yourself more than the girls.

"so is that everyone?" jisoo flicks through seulgi's lilac planner after taking it from her hands.

"pretty much," seulgi leans back with a snort. "but you just know all this planning is for shits and giggles. jimin's gonna bring like, a thousand other people anyway and the next thing you know one of our bedrooms will be on fire."

"then why did we use your pretty paper?"

"because these are new gel pens! we should have just given him tae as a plus one and left it at that, you know. remember last year, when he brought that guy wonho and then all his gym friends showed up? jesus, i thought i'd have an aneurysm that night."

"i know, wasn't it great?" jisoo's eyes are already lighting up at the memory. "i'm still convinced me and minhyuk are in love even though we haven't spoken in like. eight months," she sighs dreamily. "maybe he'll turn up on some off chance and make me forget all about taehyung."

seulgi makes a sly face. "if forgetting a guy is what you're looking for then why don't we invite jungkook?"

"god, can you imagine?" jisoo laughs. "jeon jungkook eating the snacks in our kitchen, fucking some girl on the coffee table?"

"then giving her friend a turn once he gets bored," seulgi snorts.

"yeah," you laugh nervously. you try your best to look inconspicuous even though your palms suddenly go clammy, wiggling into the bed to shove them under your koala plushie. you haven't heard from jungkook since the post office incident, but to be fair even you were shocked by that peck on the cheek you gave him. you just assumed he was busy or too crippled with second hand embarrassment to talk to you again, and you don't blame him. maybe it was best that the whole jungkook phase came to a close now that things with you and hoseok were about to move forward.

but that doesn't stop you checking your phone every now and again, hopeful to see his name light up your screen.

"are you kidding?! i mean, all of that's true but you're crazy if you think jaebum would willingly step within ten miles of seulgi," jimin laughs loudly, making you laugh with him. "i still remember my balls clenched in sympathy just looking at the bastard. you know he texted me the day after and said he really thought his future was childless? i kept the screenshot."

you hold up your hands defensively. "look, these are seulgi's words not mine. just make sure you bring taehyung, because even if him and jisoo kick off it'd be better than eye contact between seulgi and that asshole," you check your phone for the time. "where is tae, anyway? you told him drinks were tonight, right?"

"duh. he's just always late to everything," jimin says, gulping his beer. "aren't you glad we didn't order for him now?"

"no, because now people are gonna think we're here together. like together together."

jimin rolls his eyes. "stop looking so surprised. it wouldn't be the first time."

"exactly," you huff. "aren't you sick of it?"

"you should consider yourself lucky," he shrugs. "so are you bringing hobi hyung?"

"i'm seeing him tomorrow to ask him about it. to be honest i don't really know how that conversation's gonna go..."

"what do you mean?" jimin queries, getting up from his chair to squeeze into the booth with you. he tries to keep his attention on you and your pretty lips while you talk, but he can't help letting his gaze swerve off to that creep by the bar who's making googlies at you. not that you'd notice, because you're far too busy rambling about hoseok, hands gesturing comically and hair sticking to your lipstick.

"...and i dunno, something just feels off about the whole thing and i'm not sure if it's because i'm not ready or if hobi really just isn't the guy for me, which i seriously doubt given that if i met him a few years ago - are you kidding me? artsy fartsy looking prince in balenciaga? i would have been all over him! but now?" you laugh dryly. "well, we both know how much of an abandonment-fearing mess i can be, so-"

"that's not true," jimin says gently. a pause. "okay maybe it's a little true. but hoseok obviously doesn't care," he says, face splitting into a cheery grin when you squint at him. "well, none of it's been enough to deter him so far, has it? so maybe he has a thing for girls with a tragic past and a cocktail of defence mechanisms," he consoles you, although it certainly doesn't feel consoling. "you have told him, right? about those assholes that used to be your family?"

"no..." you say sheepishly. "i don't know, i just...! how do you break something like that to a guy you've been dating? like, he's talking about bringing me to meet his mother and her vegetable patch this summer, the fuck am i supposed to do? casually mention that i was disowned next to her avacado tree? it's a lot of baggage, jimin."

"i get that," he says, opening his mouth say something further when he notices the creep at the bar stare even more explicitly when you cross your legs. "you finished your drink? let's meet tae in the bar next door."

"oh, alright," you say, gulping down your glass. "any reason why?"

"yeah," he huffs, standing in front of you while you shrug on your coat. "that weirdo over there keeps making eyes at you. he's giving me jaebum vibes."

"what weirdo?" you perk up curiously, craning your neck to look over jimin's shoulder but he's already spinning you around by the waist and pushing you in the direction of the door. your playful giggle dies in your throat when his hands remain planted on your hips, leading you through the busy bar with his chest against your back. he's so warm, his grip around you so wonderfully firm it excites you. "you're not gonna let me take a look at my potential captor?"

he chuckles, right behind your ear so that your goosebumps go wild. "shut up. why would you want to look at him," you don't remember how many drinks jimin has had but it must be more than you thought, because you can feel him smirking against your neck. the heat of his lips lay right over the pressure point so you positively melt back into his chest. "you're with me, aren't you?"

"yeah," you shudder, the cold from outside hitting you harshly. you're still gulping for breath while he stares from under the moon like that, utterly gorgeous. the pine of jimin's scent gets you going even though he's a good step away from you again. there's a serenity about his face while he looks at you, hooded eyes intense and hair covering his forehead so you can’t see the way his brow softens. earnest. "what? why are you-why are you looking at me like that? do i have lipstick on my teeth-?"

"you have no idea, do you?" he whispers, like it's a secret. like he meant to ask himself instead of say it out loud, but all the beer's gone to his head and fucked up the thought pathway. "how lovely you are. how many men want you for it."

suddenly in the autumn night winds you're sweltering hot. flushed. jimin's all but not referred to you with gender neutral pronouns since you met him, plunked you into a sexless box you had grown comfortable in. so what on earth do you say to that? especially when it's coming from park jimin? "is-is this your way of saying you like this shirt on me?" you laugh nervously, doing anything you can to diffuse this heavy air. "it's actually jisoo's so i'll pass on the compliment if you wa-"

"its a nice colour," he's looking to the side so you can't gage his expression. "but that's not what i mean."

you blink up at him, totally and utterly lost in this uncharted territory, the butterflies in your stomach climbing up your spine with its intensity, because apparently they seem to know where to go better than you do. thankfully taehyung chooses this moment to make his grand entrance, yelling your names from across the street so you can watch him jog towards you instead of deal with...whatever this is.

"sorry i'm late," he pants, but he doesn't look sorry at all, instead darts his eyes between you and jimin suspiciously, misplacing the tension. "if you're really that mad i'll get the first round."

"are you kidding? first round was an hour ago," jimin laughs, teeth shining. he's so annoyingly model worthy, hair tickling his lashes and hands sliding neatly into his jeans pockets. he glances at you like he didn't just call you beautiful under the moonlight two minutes ago and nudges taehyung in the direction of the bar just a short walk down. “rounds three and onward has your name all over it, though.”

[taehyung 10:52pm] you going to seulgi's birthday thing this weekend?

jungkook is so bewildered by the message even the blonde is lap starts to knock on his head to ask if anyone's home. she gets up and leaves him alone with namjoon and yoongi outside once he fails to reply, but in jungkook's defence he didn't think he'd have to deal with his thoughts going a mile a minute at this time of night: seulgi, seulgi as in the wasted girl he carted around in his truck for you seulgi, your friend, your flatmate. aka, seulgi's having a party in the house that you shared and so you were going to be there. you, with your big eyes and cute cheeks. you with your tinkling laughter and addictive aura, probably clad in a little dress for the occasion that was flattering and girly with the perfect touch of slutty that you'll coyly pretend isn't slutty.

fuck.

"kookie?" namjoon cranes his neck to see what jungkook is agonising over. the kid was young and confident, so it wasn't often that namjoon saw the boy with a knitted brow and dry lips. it could only mean two things: beer flu or a girl. and since the night had barely started at this shitty friend-of-a-friend's party it was safe to rule out the former, but namjoon has enough tact to start off with, "have you seen a ghost, or?"

yoongi, however, isn't one to dance around. "more likely just a girl he's ghosted," he leans back in the rusty deck chair. "wouldn't expect anything less from the highest body count on campus."

"i'm pretty sure that's jimin-ah," namjoon muses.

he takes another drag before answering. "maybe last year, but he's been slacking ever since he became a senior."

jungkook ignores them, thumbs dancing over the keyboard of taehyung's chat as he rakes his brain for a reply that sounds just the right amount of apathetic even though he aggressively needs some answers. right. now.

[jungkook 10:58pm] birthday thing?

[taehyung 11:03pm] ____ didn't invite you already??

[jungkook 11:05pm] she hasn't said anything to me

because i've been avoiding her he says internally. taehyung seems to see right through it because-

[taehyung 11:06pm] well have you talked to her?

[jungkook 11:07pm] typing...

[jungkook 11:07pm]

[jungkook 11:08pm] typing...

[jungkook 11:09pm]

[jungkook 11:10pm] typing...

[jungkook 11:12pm]

"fuck," he hisses aloud, unable to think of a reply that didn’t make him seem like a total asshole.

[taehyung 11:13pm] lol thought so. it starts at 9 bring your own beer

jungkook doesn't know what to say to that, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he stares at the message. his mouth blooms bright pink under his thoughtful gnawing: he knows it's wrong. he knew from the second you kissed his cheek weeks ago that this wasn't a good idea, that this was something he just wasn't ready for, something he may never be ready for. it's too comfortable, too easy, too real. and jungkook doesn't do real. this was destined for disaster written in red, red, red all over his hands that are just itching to have you.

but that feeling in his gut, sitting right below his rib cage, the selfish feeling that knows his weak points and feeds his impulsive nature - it's telling him to go. it's telling him just one more drink with you, one conversation...one dance. after that he'll quit you. after that, after that, after that he's done for good.

"earth to kookie?" yoongi leans over to wave a hand in front of his face. "geez, did this girl send you a nude or something? what's got you so spaced out tonight?"

"nothing," he says quickly, sitting up in his seat. "i was just wondering...do you guys wanna come to a party this weekend?"

hoseok gives you a long kiss when you finally arrive back at his flat, fingers grazing at the nape of your neck to pull you that much closer to him. you can't help but fall into him. everything about him is just so kind, so soft around the edges. even more so today; hobi was extra doting during lunch, holding hands the whole walk home, kissing you slowly and often. maybe that should've been your first indicator that something was wrong.

"we're having a party this weekend," you say absently when you finally plop down onto his couch, playing with the end of his shirt when he joins you. he smiles as you do, because you're just so cute and breathy after he kisses you for while. everything about you was just so endearing, so his type. "for seulgi's birthday. and i was thinking..."

"we should go together?" he finishes lightly, your doe eyes fluttering up to him before you nod nervously. his shoulders practically deflate with affection for you, how vulnerable you look. he leans in, giving you a long peck that leaves you content. but then his next words follow, "i can't."

"oh," you cannot hide your disappointment. "that's too bad...are you busy or something?”

hoseok watches you for a second, really watches you like he's savouring this specific moment before answering. "we need to talk. i think," he takes your hands, hesitant. "i think this is it for us."

your brain short circuits, the city of your body screeching to a stop: the people stand still, the cars stop moving, the power goes out. hoseok's words hang in the air before your face because you're unable to compute them, unable to do anything but look at him dumbly. "what?"

"i know the first thing you're gonna think is that it's because of you," he says evenly, shaking his head. "but it really isn't. it's me, it's all on me. i didn't want to do this at the restaurant, rob your chance of getting to react how you're entitled to, so..."

"you're," you're still rushing to catch up. "you're breaking up with me?"

he sighs, and you can feel how heavy it is. the hollowness in your chest, surprisingly, isn't caused by what he's said or what this means for your budding relationship. instead, it's the absence of hoseok's smile that makes your eyes well up for some reason. he doesn't look right without it. "yeah."

one more time. "you're breaking up with me..."

"you can yell if you want," he assures. "go on, honestly."

instead, you laugh. soft and quiet, very breathy and broken before you cover your face with your hands. of course even when he's breaking up with you, he's the most noble man on the planet. it's not like you're used to people not wanting you, but it still makes the static ring louder in your head because you just didn't see it coming this time. you and hoseok got along so well, your affection for him growing by the day. what were you supposed to do with it all now? "there's nothing to yell for hobi, this isn't a contract. i-i'm not mad, i just..."

"there's something else," he says gently before you can finish, running a hand through his red hair. you miss his dimples suddenly. he licks his lips, chest heaving with how he tries to word it. "i'm also doing this because i think it's for the best. because i don't know how much longer i can go wondering if i'll ever hold a candle to him."

"please," your heart sinks. "please don't say jimin."

"not jimin. jungkook."

a beat. "what?"

"you think i didn't notice how he blew up your phone a few weeks ago? texting you every hour?" he laughs quietly, looking down at your hand that's still in his. "how quiet you've gotten ever since he stopped?"

"hobi," you swallow hard, shaking your head. "there was never...i was never involved with him like that. you know that right?" you squeeze his fingers. "you know i'd never do that to you, don't you?"

"of course i do," he says gently. "i'm just saying that he got more of a reaction out of you from a few texts than i have in two months. doesn't that tell you something?"

you swallow. "that you should send me more memes?"

"you like him," hobi corrects with a sympathetic look. "you really like him, ____. whether you want to accept it or not. so this," he gestures between you. "really isn't doing anything but slowing us both down."

you sigh, covering your eyes in embarrassment. "so what you're saying is you're breaking up with me to save me the misery of doing it in the long run?"

he chuckles softly. "you make me sound so gallant!"

"because you are," you say, so quietly he barely catches it. you see it then, the almost of it all. if things were different, if the timing wasn't like this, how if you had just spoken to hoseok at that party before jungkook you'd probably be history now. it's the strangest thing you've ever felt, looking at hobi in that moment and seeing everything your life could've been together flash past in front of you like a supercut. a cassette movie on fast-forward.

why does no one ever talk about the feeling of knowing that you could've loved someone?

hobi feels it too. he doesn't say it but you know he does, because even though he's smiling again his aura has lost all its orange. like he's only ever been living on the blue side this whole time. it would've been easier if you took his advice and yelled, anything to fill up the gaping hole that is this silence. there are no hard feelings, only soft ones even while hoseok drives you home. you chat over the radio like always, even laugh about that same song you heard at the cafe last week together. except this time he doesn't kiss you when you get out the car.

only when your bedroom door closes do you start to cry, for a reason you can't pinpoint.

the house is already crammed full of people by the time jisoo teeters over to you with two drinks in hand, doing awfully well for herself given how many malibu and cokes she's been sipping all night. of course, none of you had half a clue who most of these people are, since jimin did that thing where he accidentally invited the entire campus again. people filled the halls, spilling out the doorways. the house wasn't big so it was almost like it was falling apart at the seams with drunk college kids and then some, but jisoo still wedges herself onto the staircase with you like it's any old saturday night.

"here," she hands you the drink. "you're looking way too sober for someone who just got dumped and it's upsetting me."

you take a tentative sip, the sour-sweet taste leaving your mouth upturned though it wasn't unpleasant. just strong. "jesus, who made this?" you take another sip before clocking on. "oh no, this is one of jimin's cocktails isn't it? my liver's starting to panic already," jisoo throws her head back in a laugh when you take her hand to press against you. "can you feel that? she's pissed! the last time i had one of these i almost died, 'soo!"

"tonight's an exception," she grins, fixing your hair at the back. "seriously though, are you okay? you should be shit faced by now, singing love ballads and crying on my lap!" she watches you shrug behind the rim of your cup. "you really didn't like hoseok that much, did you?" she looks a bit sad, playing with the end of your dress guiltily. "and there was us, forcing him on you for weeks..."

"it's not that," you assure her quickly with a hand over hers, trying to make your thoughts cohesive through the fog of chatter and alcohol. "it’s just that, i've had a few days to chew on what he said now, and...he was right."

"right about what?" she prods.

"girls!" you both look up to seulgi who's peeking at you through the banister railings before teetering her way over as fast as her slight tipsiness can allow. you and jisoo instinctively grab a wrist each and pull her to squish between you, all clambering knees and party shoes knocking together. "did you see who just walked in? smell my drink, i swear i've been spiked-"

"what?" jisoo takes the cup before she can spill it. "who is it?"

"it's not hoseok is it?" you crane your neck, scanning the people in the hall. "there's no way-"

"no," seulgi shakes her head. "it's jungkook!"

jisoo throws her head back in a laugh while the blood runs icy in your veins. out of all the names you were prepared to hear, that certainly wasn't one of them. "jeon jungkook? alright, maybe you have been spiked-"

"see for your fucking self!" seulgi practically shrieks before hauling their pair of you up with her impressive strength. they both link up arms with you in the middle, weaving through the crowd in a secure chain before reaching the kitchen doorway. it's like some sort of warped stakeout mission from a kids show, the comical way the three of you squish into the door pane and you spy from a distance. sure enough, jungkook is there just outside the open back doors, lighting up a cigarette with two of his friends that you haven't seen before. you can practically feel your stomach flipping through the thin fabric of your dress. seulgi hiccups above you. "now is that him or am i really just off on one?"

"that's," you can hear jisoo gulp. "that's jungkook alright," another pause of disbelief. "god, has he always been that hot?"

"yeah," seulgi huffs. "but it's those friends of his that're making me nervous. see the tall one? god, i'd climb up him like curious fucking george-"

"i gotta pee," you say breathlessly before darting off.

you search through the sea of people for jimin, hands sweating and teeth chattering because you never thought you'd see jungkook here. now. looking like that; brown hair pushed back so his ridiculously handsome face is on display, his leather jacket back with a vengeance tonight. you feel on edge by the time you desperately circle the house a second time to finally see jimin and tae, grabby hands reaching out to clutch their elbows like you need them to hold you up.

"someone having fun?" jimin steadies you with a strong hand.

"um," you swallow back all the babbling you want to do, doing your best to appear collected. "yeah. yeah, you?"

"as good as jisoo ignoring me can feel," taehyung mutters into his cup.

"god, don't you think you're getting a little ridiculous now?" jimin rolls his eyes. "and that's coming from me, taehyung. it's been months! if you really liked her you would have done something by now-"

"it's not about that, it's about my principles!"

"which are?"

"i want attention," taehyung huffs like a child. "all the time, no exceptions."

jimin rubs his head. "do you hear how much of a brat you sound right now?"

"of course i do. i'm a self proclaimed brat, jisoo knows this," taehyung's mouth stretches into a mischievous smirk. "and she got with me anyway."

"actually, can i ask you guys something?" you butt in a little too loud, unable to watch their back and forth in silence anymore. "uh, did one of you...did you invite jungkook? not that i care or anything, i just...didn't expect to see him here...is all..."

"jungkook?" jimin's brow immediately creases. "no, i didn't. he never shows up to parties anyway, are you sure it's even him?"

"it's him," you confirm. "definitely him."

"he probably just heard from a friend of a friend of a friend. you know how it goes with these things," jimin appeases, totally missing the way you lock eyes with taehyung who's rather keen to avoid your gaze all of a sudden. you know in an instant that it has something to do with him, but for now you just nod up into jimin's flawless face. his lips extra plush tonight, candy pink and inviting. "but it doesn't matter though, right? since hobi hyung's gonna turn up any minute now."

"yeah about that, jiminie...he's not coming," your chew your bottom lip. "we broke up."

jimin's brows snap together. "what?"

"aw, sorry princess," taehyung rubs your arm affectionately. "you okay?"

"what do you mean you broke up?" jimin splutters, looking far more upset than you would've anticipated. he wets his lips when you peer at him curiously, reigning in his volume a little to card a hand through his hair coolly. he only pulls it off because he is a master of composure. "did you, um, meet someone else or something?"

"nothing like that. hobi just thought we had run our course, you know?" you give taehyung's fingers a reassuring squeeze. "i'm okay, really. we had fun and we're still friends, so-"

"i gotta pee," jimin mumbles, taking out his phone to tap frantically before stalking off.

you blink after him. "uh, is he okay?"

taehyung just rolls his eyes, finishing the rest of his beer. "how much time do you have for me to answer that question?"

"probably not long enough," you sigh, sagging against taehyung only to shoot up straight again when you see the unmistakably large silhouette of jungkook making his way up the corridor. it was too late to try and scurry out of his line of vision now, all you could do was turn to face taehyung with wild eyes and your hands locking around his thick arm. "now do you mind telling me why you decided to invite jungkook into my house?"

"what's the big deal?" he counters, already waving the younger boy over with his signature big smile. he peers down at you with an expression that is way too cheeky for your liking. "you're friends, right? you invited all your other friends, didn't you?"

"i mean," you huff, exasperated. "yeah i guess, but-"

"hey hyung," jungkook's voice is behind you, forcing you to turn and face him. his jawline alone has your throat going dry alone, round eyes full of stars as they swivel down to take you in. you watch jungkook wet his lips, small and pink. the mole dotted underneath holds your gaze for longer than you'd like to admit, your hands squeezing the life out of taehyung's arm just to keep yourself upright. "how are you, noona?"

"me?" you blink up at him, your fluttering lashes making you look that much more irresistible. thankfully jungkook is great at saving face, flicking some hair from his eyes so you can see his brows hop up at you. god, you can barely breathe. "i'm good, really good. you? are you...are you having fun?"

"yeah," he flashes his big smile at you and your knees practically quake. "you know how to throw a party."

"oh, it's not me! seulgi and jisoo did all the work. jimin's guest list might've had something to do with it, too..."

"did you come here with namjoonie and yoongi hyung?" tae perks up. "i haven't seen them in ages!"

"yeah, they're outside. you should say hi tae, they missed you," he points a thumb over his shoulder. his eyes fall back to you, looking impossibly gorgeous even in the shitty lighting. "i'll see you guys around, yeah?"

"yeah," you mumble, the disappointment causing a sinking feeling in your stomach when you watch jungkook walk off to chat up some girl who's with her friends on the sofa. you don't even realise you haven't said anything until taehyung pokes you in the ribs, dragging you back to earth.

"you good?" he asks, his tone casual but the look in his eye serious.

"yeah," you say quickly, finally releasing him. "yeah, i'm good."

jungkook doesn't talk to you for the rest of the night. not that you expected or even waited around for him to, but it still rubs you the wrong way, like something isn't quite fitting and you're not sure what. within the span of a few hours you've seen him entertaining more girls than you can count on one hand, and you don't know what it is about that that makes you reach for the spirits jisoo hid behind the microwave for emergencies, but it does.

even at the height of your passion with hoseok, you had never felt so jittery. jungkook wasn't even in the same room as you and you felt like a ball of nerves. he clearly wasn't interested in you anymore, on any level; clearly came all the way here to show you that. and yet here you were, giddy and excited simply because he was near you for the first time in weeks. it felt a bit humiliating. you mutter to yourself, trying to shake all thoughts of him out of your head and at least try to enjoy yourself tonight. "the fuck is wrong with me..."

"absolutely nothing by the looks of it, beautiful," a guy says beside you. he must be one of jimin's friends because he's pretty, tall with dark hair and a shit-eating grin. the friends around him have the same kind of vibe too. "i'm jinyoung. miss...?"

"____," you answer with a forced smile, though you're really not in the mood to talk.

"a pretty name for the prettiest girl here..."

you try your best to play the polite co-hostess. it's not your birthday party to mouth off on, after all. "thanks. have we met before?"

"maybe," he shrugs, quickly invading your personal space. "i'm friends with jaebum. you know him?"

you visibly wince. "the name...definitely rings a bell," you scan his friend group cautiously. "he's not here is he?"

"not tonight. something about a crazy chick in stilettos," he leans in close, leaving you barely any breathing room. you take a hearty step back to which jinyoung only follows. given how overwhelmed you are tonight, you quickly become irritated. "but thankfully i'm here to show you a good time tonight."

"thanks, but no thanks," you finish, until his hand encloses around your arm. firm, demanding.

"come on doll, don't i deserve a chance?" he smiles sweetly, totally contrasting with his grip on you.

"do i look like i'm gonna give you a fucking chance? take a hint," your eyes narrow dangerously. "and let go of me."

"or what?" he teases, clearly not taking you seriously even though steam is practically erupting from your ears.

"there you are, baby!" a voice jumps in, a nimble arm snaking around you to effectively tug you away from jinyoung and the situation in general. a guy with near-white hair has planted himself between you and the asshole, and even though he's shorter than him and wearing a sickly sweet fake smile, there's something about him that makes you play along. "thanks for keeping my girlfriend company. you can go now."

jinyoung scoffs. "whatever. your bird's too stuck up for a lay anyway."

"the fuck did you just say?" you spit over the short guy's shoulder but he's got an arm out to stop you, letting jinyoung walk away in one piece. he takes your wrist when you open your mouth to shout something at his retreating back, dragging you out to the tiny patio with the other smokers the night air sobers you up a little but you still tingle with anger. "what are you doing? that prick does not get the last word, not in my house-"

"take it easy tinkerbell," he drawls, but there's a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, clearly amused by your temper. he's rather striking, what with his pale hair and delicate features contrasting with his camo jacket. he looks tough, but the way he drops your wrist is tender. "pick your battles. not saying the dirt bag doesn't have it coming, but he's a tree. and you're shorter than i am, for starters."

you pout miserably. "i could take him...!"

"with what?" his friend laughs next to him, a tall boy with silver hair and beautiful dimples to boot. the same one seulgi was lusting after earlier. "those pretty eyes of yours? isn't that how you got into this mess?"

your cheeks heat at the inadvertent compliment. "a-are you advising me or hitting on me?"

"do i have to pick one?" the guy smiles, perfect teeth shining at you in the night. he looks like he's been plucked straight out of an eighties movie leaning against the brick wall in his ripped jeans like that, him and his friend. "i'm namjoon, by the way."

"yoongi," the other boy grins around his cigarette. "your fake boyfriend."

you sigh at his reminder. "i guess i should thank you," you shift from one foot to another begrudgingly. "for helping me. i don't know why guys like that always end up finding me, but..."

"i think i know why," yoongi chimes, eyeing you up and down.

"people fight my battles for me a lot," you say quickly, your determined stare making yoongi smile to himself again. you're cute. "at this rate i'm starting to think i should hand out complimentary mints or something."

"i don't think people are after your mints baby," namjoon smiles. "but sure."

"my approval, then?" you test, letting him tug you gently between him and yoongi so you're out of the way while people walk past to get through the door. even through the fog of smoke and party musk, their presence is comforting and resolute. nothing like jinyoung’s. "or my undying gratitude, maybe?"

"is that what they're calling pussy these days?" yoongi flicks his brows up. "well fuck me, i'm getting old."

"hyung, you're twenty-five!"

"positively ancient," he grins at you. "don't you agree, tinkerbell?"

you laugh with namjoon into his arm. "actually, my ex-boyfriend from like, years ago, back when i was a science major...he'd be twenty-six right now. so i guess i can't vouch for you, yoongi-ssi."

"so you're saying i have a chance?"

you pinch his chin. "i'm saying you're not old. and as my fake boyfriend, aren't you first in line anyway?"

"he is old," namjoon jumps in. "he's super, super old. pre-historic. look, even his hair's white."

"i told you, this shade’s called platinum," yoongi warns, tousling it for emphasis. "and you think you have room to talk shit with silver fucking hair? what are you, a vampire cosplay? a broody anime kid? pick one, joon-ah, the rest of us are getting confused."

"excuse me, i can be both. haven't you watched vampire knight?"

"no, because i'm not a fourteen year old girl."

"now i understand how you're friends with jungkook," you hum, to which the boys both snap their heads to you. they take a long look at you before exchanging one between themselves, the sudden pair of eyes on you at once making you feel exposed.

"you know kookie?" namjoon blinks. "like know kookie?"

you squint. "uh. is there a difference between those, or..?"

"i'm certain it's the second one," yoongi says confidently while regarding you. "i've known that kid a while and i've never seen him so desperate to come to one of these house parties before. you must've really done a number on him."

something in your chest flutters, making you shake your head dismissively. there was no way. "i really don't know what you're talking about. me and jungkook are just friends, it's not like he even...it's not like that at all."

"you sure about that?" namjoon challenges, so gently you can't help but entertain the idea. he watches you stare off thoughtfully, the way you ring out the end of your dress in your hands and hold your breath. your feelings were written all over your soft features, and namjoon now sees exactly what jungkook was losing his wits over. you’re so...tempting. "look, i've seen kookie involved with a lot of girls. not one of them has made him as antsy as you have."

"now you're just buttering me up," you pat his chest teasingly. "i'm not exactly his type. go and ask the girl he's probably fucking in the bathroom right now, she'll tell you if you don't believe me."

namjoon tries not to enjoy the contact so much, but its hard not to when it’s so chilly outside. "jungkookie's dumb, i'll give you that. him and his dick fight over the one brain cell he's got left all the time, but don't write me off on this one. trust me."

you smile. "i just met you, namjoon."

"trust your fake boyfriend then," yoongi chirps. "kid's got a perpetual hard-on for you, tinkerbell. do with that information what you will."

"no wonder he's always getting so many girls," you laugh between them. "you two might just be the best wingmen on the planet."

"you really don't believe us, do you?"

"____!" taehyung calls from the kitchen, poking his head out of the open back doors. he gives his hyungs a friendly wave before remembering why he was sent to fetch you. "am i interrupting? sorry, but seulgi wants you. someone threw up behind the coffee table and she stepped in it."

"ugh, fuck. tell her i'm coming," you call back, throwing the boys an apologetic look. "i'll see you guys later, yeah?"

"and you'll think about what i said, yeah?" namjoon teases, dimples showing in an amused smile when you poke your tongue out at him.

and jungkook...jungkook really didn't think shit like this would ever happen to him. maybe he'd finally hit rock bottom, and rock bottom looked like your greasy house party because that's certainly what it felt like. how else could he describe coming all this way with the intention of getting over you, only to be so blown away by how beautiful you look that he chickens out? even trying to score some pussy to help himself feel better wasn't working, because every time he has a girl right where he wants her, he leans down and sees you: your eyes, your smile, your lashes fluttering up at him, how breathless you'd sound if you were the one who he was kissing. it just wasn't fair.

so jungkook thinks, maybe this is how he gets you out of his system. fuck a girl in your bathroom, against the door maybe. while you're in the next room with your wonderful laugh and amazing tits, probably getting comfortable under some other guy's arm. maybe this is how he moves on, by parading around on your terf doing what he does best right under your nose. maybe this is how he forgets your sparkling eyes and alluring waist, wrapped up in a nice little dress that makes you look even lovelier than jungkook could've ever anticipated. maybe this is how he swallows this pill. maybe this-

"what is wrong with you?" your voice shoots straight into his earshot, jungkook's head snapping up from some girl's neck to see you through the doorway down the hall. you're distressed, eyes wild, teeth bared in anger - and then he sees it. some guy towering over you, dragging you by your little waist right into his hold with the help of his drunk friends. "would you get off, jinyoung? i told you i'm not-"

"where's your little boyfriend now?" he jeers, far bolder than he was a few hours ago. his grip on you is bruising and his friends surround you, keeping you nicely shrouded in the corner of the room while he locks you against him. "too busy to save you this time? or did you think you were so smart, trying to pull the wool over my eyes? min yoongi and his lot never go exclusive with anyone."

you shove him dangerously, turning your heel before you act irrationally. "you're a delusional motherfucker. you and your asshole friends better leave before i-"

a resounding slap echoes above the bass music. you register the sting on your ass a second later, whirling round to him utterly shocked and positively bubbling with rage. jinyoung sneers at you with his friends, already pulling you back by your skirt. "that's better. nice and quiet, how it should be."

"don't fucking touch me," you warn. but jinyoung doesn't care.

jungkook was already moving by the time jinyoung raised his hand. there's not a thought in his head so it all happens in a blur; one minute you're being manhandled next to the rice cooker and the next thing you know you're pushed back by the fridge, jinyoung suddenly knocked clean onto the ground with a heavy thud. you gasp in shock with everyone else in the room, eyes darting up to watch a fuming jungkook grab him up by the collar, slamming him so hard into the wall the kitchen clock smashes to the floor.

"what part of don't fucking touch her doesn't compute with you?" he slams him again for good measure, jinyoung's head smacking the concrete with an audible thump. "huh? ya deaf or somethin'?"

as horrified as you are to watch the scene unfold before you, nothing compares to the horror of watching jinyoung's friend land a solid punch on jungkook's cheek, throwing his weight to the side so he staggers to the opposite counter. it's like a pit of dread opens up in your stomach, swallows you whole as they loom over him while you watch helplessly, paralysed with fear, a murmuring crowd gathering quickly.

but this isn't jungkook's first rodeo. a duck here and a step there and he's got one guy knocked on the floor within a minute and the other with a bloody nose the next. it all becomes too much when jungkook beats jinyoung's face into the tiles, people gathering round to watch the fight so the sound of bone splitting is covered by shouts and jeers.

"stop...please stop..." you whisper when he raises his fist again. your voice finally finds you, feet racing to plant yourself before him. "jungkook, stop!" he freezes when he registers your hand on his chest, gripping his shirt. "please, please don’t jungkook," all evidence of fury dies when he sees the tears in your eyes, terrified. "please don’t..!"

his hand falls limp at his side. disarmed. jungkook doesn't know what this feeling is but it's the same one he felt when you were in his truck after the post office, and it's the worst feeling ever: seeing you cry. he doesn't know what to do, jinyoung barely conscious on the floor under him. he groans loudly in pain, face swollen and covered in blood so you can hardly look at him without feeling sick.

the lights turn on, music now off. "what the fuck happened?" you hear seulgi above you, the sound of jisoo dissipating the crowd as well. she crouches down to you when she sees you crying, smoothing your hair to get a look at your face for any harm done. "____, are you okay? are you hurt?"

you shake your head, trembling. jungkook can only watch you guiltily, the adrenaline pumping through his body evapourating into nothing under your touch. he doesn’t even notice namjoon and yoongi enter the room with jimin and taehyung once they get most of the people out of the house, the party effectively over.

"we'll get them," namjoon assures jisoo quietly, already hoisting up jinyoung's friends with yoongi's help. they seem to know what they're doing as if it's routine, kicking the other guys out easily before dragging jinyoung out as well.

you've stopped crying now but you're still clutching jungkook's shirt through his jacket, peppered with blood. you sniff and he flinches, the sound alone more painful than any beating. he still doesn't know what to do or say, gulping nervously when you take his hand. it's hot and sticky from jinyoung's blood but still you grip it, tugging him out of the kitchen. "come on."

you're not sure which one of you interlaces your fingers together as you pull him up the stairs and into your room, but you guess it doesn't matter when you let go of him to sit on the bed while you dampen some towels. jungkook waits silently, eyes swivelling around the small room.

it's small and cosy, lots of blankets and pictures of jimin, jisoo, seulgi and taehyung stuck on a cheap corkboard. a lot of pictures of you and jimin. little painted figurines in the corner of your desk, an oil painting leaning against the far wall you haven't hung up yet. hoseok's flowers, wilted in their vase. a sketchbook open before it from where you've half drawn them. the faint smell of vanilla, coconut and you. you didn't have a lot, but what you did have what so obviously precious and it makes him feel even worse for some reason.

when you return from the bathroom, you tear up again when you take a proper look at jungkook's face. his cheekbone is bruised and already swelling, another bruise blooming on his jaw along with a split lip. you look to his hands that rest obediently on his knees, knuckles split and cracked, weeping blood and colouring shades of purple and red around the edges. even the silver rings he wears are bloodied. jungkook can't bear to look at your face as you take him in, turning his head to the side. "it's fine."

you don't reply, just dab his face with the cool towel, sniffling and blinking like mad to cover up your glassy eyes. "it's fine," he insists, but he lets you tend to him anyway. he winces, not sure if the grazes are burning him or if it's just your touch. "geez, if-ow! if you think this is bad you should see me after a real fight."

the pain twisting your voice blindsides him. "is that supposed to make me feel better?"

he doesn't know what to say to that, watching you take his hands to clean the blood away there too. yours are so small compared to his, so gentle and dedicated. he spends so much time staring it's a good minute before he talks. "look, i-"

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you cut off, your big eyes suddenly alive once again. you huff, shaking your head in disbelief while you focus on his grazes. "hardly say a word to me all night but you still felt the need to pull hero shit like this? are you fucking kidding me, jungkook?"

it's hard not to feel embarrassed because you're right, but jungkook still forces himself to sit up straighter in defiance. it's like the reappearance of your fire has caused his own to resurface, filled with the same anger he had when he marched up to jinyoung. "am i just supposed to sit and watch, then? that cunt had it coming and you know it, noona."

"that doesn't mean you have to beat him to a pulp in my kitchen!"

"yes it does!”

"are you insane? like, do you think before you do literally anything?" you retaliate furiously. "if jinyoung wants to charge you for what you did he can, jungkook! jesus, the guy could barely see out of both eyes by the time namjoon threw him out-!"

"if you're asking me to say sorry or regret it, it's not happening," he stares at you, jaw clenching firmly. some hair falls into his twinkling eyes briefly, and you think it's absolutely unjust that he'd look so handsome even with a busted face, even while you're arguing with him.

"you're ridiculous," you laugh breathlessly in disbelief, head shaking. "you're absolutely fucking ridiculous...!"

"because i taught them a lesson? because i gave them what they deserved? something that should rightfully make them think twice next time?" jungkook bites back. "they don't get to do things like that and think they're hot shit, guys like them are scum and if it takes me getting a mark on my record just to shut them up then-"

"i don't want you getting into fights!" you snap, eyes welling up again so jungkook clamps his mouth shut immediately. "for me or for anyone, jungkook. the idea of something happening to you, of someone doing to you what you did to jinyoung...i can't stand it. especially if it's over something this stupid."

jungkook has always known you're an inherently good person, but this is the first time it's made him feel like shit. he peers at you, your bowed head and wet cheeks. "it's not stupid."

"yes it is."

he shakes his head firmly. "no it isn't."

"don't you want to even try to agree with me?"

"but i don't agree with you! you want me to lie?"

you give up, throwing your hands up in exasperation. "yes!"

"okay," jungkook looks you square in the face. "if another perv lays a finger on you i won't beat his ass into the fucking dirt. happy?"

already, you're fuming again. something about him gets you juggling emotions so fast, faster than you can keep up, nails dragging through your hair as you momentarily turn your back to take a breather. "i hate violence, jungkook. i fucking hate it, okay? talk big if you want, measure dicks if you have to! i don't care what, but nothing is worth getting hurt over-"

"some things are," he says vehemently. you are, is what he doesn't say.

"this isn't one of them!"

"you're wrong."

"look at yourself!" you retort, all patience lost. "look at your face, jungkook! even that asshole jinyoung's! how can that be something that you stand for?" he doesn't answer because he knows it's futile. jungkook wasn't going to change his opinion and neither were you, his raw hands gripping his knees hard in whatever composure he can still manage around you. it only makes you that much angrier, chest heaving from it. "you understand that what you did was absurd, right? that it's exactly the kind of thing that's gonna bite you in the ass one day if you're not careful?"

jungkook's gritting his teeth so hard the words barely form. "yeah, got that loud and clear."

"good," you snap, before stepping between his parted knees and taking his bruised face in your hands. he got bruised...for you. bloody, for you. so for the first time you act without thinking, only with emotion as you brush your lips over jungkook's chapped ones. it's short and warm, but the contact is electric, jolting. jungkook's lungs seize up in his chest upon the feather-lightness of it, but you're already stepping out of his space before he can process what you just did. you kissed him. your cheeks burn as you fight to maintain eye contact with him defiantly. "then don't ever do that again or i'll kill you. okay?"

jungkook stares at you. he's thought about this a few times now, and every scenario in his head did not play out like this. he never thought his bad behaviour or an argument in your bedroom would lead to this but fuck if he isn't buzzing about it. he really can't help himself after that, taking your waist in his battered hands like a compass to north and pulling you back between his thighs snugly, parted lips searching for yours. "got it..."

jungkook's kisses are slow and breathless, everything you expected and more. hotter, wetter. in an instant his tongue is in your mouth like neither of you can stand to wait a second longer. you'd be toppling over if his hands didn't bracket your middle like that. you feel him rubbing the pads of his fingers into where you cinch in, your mouth falling open at the sensation to sigh softly. jungkook drags you closer upon the sound, laying a sweet open mouthed kiss over your top lip before diving in again. he feels relieved with your round hips finally in his hands, his low hum resonating against you when you drag your nails through his undercut and let him trace your tongue with his. he's so thorough, so greedy and practised - so perfectly jungkook.

his hands slip under your thighs expertly, lifting you up with ease to slide you onto his lap faster than you can squeak. you clutch jungkook's big shoulders and he smiles at your surprise, so blindingly charming your face burns. "j-jungkook, your lip is half busted, we shouldn't-"

he kisses you harder just because you said that, your weight in his lap making his shoulders relax and jaw go slack, tongue bolder, finally feeling the pressure in his chest release. your brain is still clouded from the arguing and lingering alcohol so you don't know how long he spends kissing you senseless in your room - grabby hands mapping you out like fucking terrain - but by the time taehyung barges in your brain has effectively turned to fuzzy static, your body a pile of mush in jungkook's lap that only his hands hold together, warm torso meshed into yours, arms locked around his neck with his tongue down your throat when the door slams open.

"princess, ya know where jungkookie is? yoongi’s got his car, they're outside and-" he stops dead in his tracks, takes in the image. you screech and scurry out of jungkook's grip, mortified. "well! can't say i didn't see this coming!"

jungkook lets you climb out of his lap but grabs your wrists before you can put any more space between you, turning to hurl a pillow into taehyung's face with his free hand. then he tugs you between his legs again, your face on fire, but jungkook doesn't care. "get out, hyung."

"or what?" he challenges with a naughty smile. "ya gonna pretend you'd stop?"

"tae, get out!" you hiss, your hips wriggling insistently in jungkook's hands.

taehyung shows a palm defensively. "fine, fine! but your lover boy's ride is here."

"he's not my-!" you start indignantly, but he slams the door shut before you can finish.

there's a pause, your eyes sliding reluctantly to jungkook, who wears a pleased smile on his wet, kiss-swollen lips (that are little bloodier from it all). you drum your fingers on his wide shoulders, watch him look down your dress at your cleavage without a lick of shame. "i really didn't think this'd happen," he squeezes your ass affectionately so you gasp. "like this."

his eyes twinkle, smug. "you thought about this happening?"

you wince, realising the hole you've dug yourself into. you take a minute to reply, distracted by jungkook's hand venturing up your back again to trace your bra clasp absently. "that's not what i mean." he hums in response, brown bambi eyes now on your bitten neck, and you fight the urge to kiss him again, instead have another go at shimmying out of his strong hold. "come on. it's past dawn, you should go home and-"

"i'm busy," he retorts, leaning his face so close against yours his eyelashes just miss your skin, round nose nestling into your face. his warm breath fans over your lips which part upon reflex, and jungkook quickly realises how much he loves making you squirm, all hot cheeks and fluttering eyes.

"don't think i won't throw you out," you say albeit breathlessly, finally peeling his hands off your ass. he lets you drag him up, compliant for once, managing to keep his hands to himself the whole trip downstairs and to the porch. yoongi beeps again just as you open the door, namjoon’s arm sticking out of the passenger’s window, ushering jungkook to the car.

"hey," you say, holding back. jungkook turns, watches your arms fold over your soft breasts, cute pout making him suddenly eager to touch you again. "i’m serious. you promise you won't do anything stupid like that again, right?"

he smiles, somehow even more attractive with a swollen cheek and sore jaw. "no."

you glare at him, opening your mouth to start another row but jungkook reaches out before you can, takes you by the waist and pulls you flush against him so that everyone can see when he dips his head down and catches your lips in a passionate kiss. the boys catcall from the car but you can't hear, helpless against jungkook's big chest, tender lips parting yours to taste your tongue one more time, leaving you reeling when he finally pulls away. he tucks your soft hair behind your ears, the sweet action unfamiliar but somehow not out of character for him. his eyes skirt over your face, gratified.

he really does love making you squirm.

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sharynl5064053-blog · 5 years

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The fifty U.S. Cities Along With The Greatest Sky Premium

One of one of the most recognized poets of our time Claude McKay was actually birthed in Sunny Ville, Jamaica, British West Indies in September 15, 1889, as the youngest of eleven youngsters of his laborer moms and dads in Jamaica, Thomas Francis and also Ann Elizabeth (Edwards) McKay. There is actually likewise excessive of every thing not therefore good, i.e., things that may potentially be actually a hostility to your heart: cars and trucks, laborers, folks, buildings, lightings, buses, taxis, http://extracwiczenia.info subways, telephones, people speaking on telephones, noise, visual and air contamination, billboards, outlets, flats, roads-big and also small-criminals, groups, website traffic and also traffic control, honking, very small apartments, roaches as well as various other pesky critters, escalators, power lines, trash, sewer, left pets, vagrants, graffiti, and more. To stay in ketosis, lots of people need to have to restrict their daily carbohydrate intake below 50 g a day, although some folks might require to be even more selective. Those individuals that are produced in Mumbai wish to have their severe dug here at the same time; no person can easily take their passion for the metropolitan area out of their hearts. If you want to highlight the harmful residing problems of International migrants during the Progressive Age, Sinclair allows the majority of Rukus' enjoyed ones to pass away as a result of prostitution as well as inhumane lifestyles that were largely utilized in United States areas. Angkor Wat architecture consists of great as well as luxurious sculptural and bas-relief decorations of the lords, apsaras, professional dancers, war scenes, mythological celebrations as well as journeys, tales from the Hindu legendaries Mahabharata as well as Ramayana, and war settings featuring the king and also the Khmer military. At one time he was actually the best paid for kid star in television's past history (that report today mosts likely to Angus T. Jones, the fifty percent" man in the long-running, embattled comedy Two and also an One-half Male). In the case of Isolation," the objective was actually to present that you may really feel lonely even when you are among 8 thousand folks living in a city fresh York," Kordas mentioned. Having said that, Digestive tract outraised Johnson for the month-$ 64,000 to $16,000. Our authorities of the Philippines should criticize right now a times what happened to our cherished land. Diane Arbus helped Esquire, Harper's Exposition, and the Sunday Times Journal and also later on showed photography in each New Jacket as well as Nyc. From the record of the path to the Indian designs that, also today are desired items, the adventure has been actually each heartbreaking and amazing. Website visitors may explore the 123-acre Tumbles Park to find the drops and a number of the area's initial field buildings. San Miguel de Allende is actually an artsy-fartsy town regarding an hour out of our team. Gringos, mainly wealthy American ones, have purchased the community. So, our experts are actually certainly not listing of the number of opportunities a certain sin might be dedicated and also God still eliminate but we are actually referring to an attitude that is actually usually discovered. Lots of folks do certainly not recognize their convictions as well as their happy-go-living life. Certainly not as long ago the only way to determine who resides on a specific street was actually to walk out as well as meet them, or even to talk to individuals that you actually know on the road. 25 Three days later on, while each one of all of them were actually still suffering, two of Jacob's (Israel's) kids, Simeon as well as Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their sabers and tackled the unsuspecting area, eliminating every man. More people equal additional cars and trucks, as well as our experts are actually collaborating with City government to serve raised car parking needs. Now in such a way i feel that all though what richard was actually doing mistook yet, truly coming from his standpoint it was actually, i believe the lord damn smart the means he went about factors, the way he intended points and never ever acquired recorded however all at once he was a dedicated husband, he possessed his princeples as well as set ways of life. Quickly, the cadaver is actually highlighted, a train types and after that relocates at, what seems to an International, a hurried speed through the streets of the dead individual's locale (twah) and on with the city to the cremation ground exterior.

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rebelstreetclothing · 5 years

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https://rebelstreetclothing.com/blogs/news/every-man-should-date-a-goth-girl

She changed my life in ways she could fathom, although I don't have any idea who that eighth grader was.

It was I was introduced to a particular -- Fashion? Lifestyle? Fetish? -- that's since become my greatest aesthetic quirk. All men have a kind -- a few are into your regular breastaurant waitress mold, others are to the tatted up neo-pin-up template, and many others are all about the artsy-fartsy nerd chic -- and it was here, I assume, that I developed mine: the all-American goth chick.

Now, at the moment, we did not call them "goths." In actuality, we did have an term of both genders, who wore three pounds of eyeliner everyday and wore all donned spiky jewellery. Some called them "the other children," some called them "skaters" (which none of them possessed skateboards, apparently, meant very little) but by and large, the other students called them as either "the freaks" or "the weirdos." The rest of the kids before Columbine -- were terrified. Rumors spread that They did needle drugs and hung out together on the weekends and practiced magic charms. While blaring Marilyn Manson they chainsawed hobos behind Costco to passing. Granted, the worst items they actually did was smoke cigarettes away from the movie theater and perhaps shoplift a couple of malt liquors, but they embraced the paranoia and dread the other pupils fostered for them. In a way, it made them over the junior high totem, which makes them a more effective caste system force than even the preppiest of preps.

And there was something about that I discovered inherently attractive. I found them alluring, while everybody found the women to be terrifying. Others believed their morbid, sadsack dispositions was the turnoff, but I thought it strangely entranced.

She was the first crush of my own adolescence. Even now, I've no hint what her name was, but I won't ever forget seeing her at the bus stop for the first time. Curling her auburn coif out of her eyes -- showing a pair of peppers outlined in what I presumed was an whole bottle of dollar store lashes -- she smiled a sinister smile and asked me, with the playful lunacy of Harley Quinn, "what you staring at, curly?"

I never reacted. But each time she saw me in the hallway, she would take me that half-playful, half-evil smile and say something along the lines of "hello, curled, how you doing?" I guess she thought she was freaking me, but deep down, I adored the focus (god knows, she was the only girl in the sixth grade who ever acknowledged my life.) Forget tans, forget the blindingly blonde hair and forget that all too dull "girl next door" look -- I was eternally enamored by the women who seemed more Morticia Addams compared to Christina Aguilera.

During high school and college, I more or less homed in on each of the pale girls who wore Invader Zim tops and loathed their parents. Really, my very first makeout was having a woman wearing a literal pentagram on her brow and I had been introduced to the joys of carnal pleasure with a young woman whose whole makeup chest was full of nothing but novelty Halloween lipsticks and nail polishes. Throughout these relationship sojourns, I discovered a seldom spoken truth concerning the "goth girl" motif/stereotype. Actually, I soon learned that there are really five genuses of goth woman, each with her Own idiosyncratic quirks:

THE RICH, SUBURBAN GOTH -- Her father makes $150,000 a year and her mother lets her spend $500 at a time on naturally Hot Topics buys (usually, Hello Kitty-branded lip gloss and anime-inspired belt buckles.) Really, she likes to wear a lot, although she claims to be a poetic soul. She's at least three Nightmare Before Christmas posters in her room along with the heaviest ring she listens to is AFI.

THE POOR, ANTI-SOCIAL GOTH -- She lives in a trailer park, works part-time in the local grocery store or hole in the wall restaurant (usually on the rear of the home -- they do not want her spider tattoos creeping out the clients) and has attempted at least 80 percent of all of the drugs known to man. The only thing in her handbag are the cigarettes at 7-Eleven, a few wadded bills and a switchblade. She will break up, if she does not have at least one felony on her record.

THE ARTISANAL GOTH -- She gets good grades, she is most likely the best actress in the theatre department and she spends her evenings studying Dante's Inferno from the original Italian, as it is more atmospheric like that. Her dream is to obtain a art endowment to produce the world's biggest ball of sculpture.

THE FASHIONISTA GOTH -- She's hyper-concerned about her looks. You absolutely can't leave the home till she has her winged eyeliner down. Every day she paints her nails and she makes at least one visit to Ulta. From the time she graduates college, she is usually evolved into a "health goth" or abandoned the aesthetics entirely for a new lifestyle that allots for pink and yellow wardrobe options.

THE UNKEMPT GOTH -- The reverse of this fashionista goth. She apparently just wants to kiss you shortly after she sucked down a Camel cigarette or peeled off her lips her dragon-shaped bong. Her jewelry is pewter, she farts in public and she spends at least half of their afternoon playing League of Legends. She like the poor goth, except sans the penchant for criminality. After all, to do so you must get up off the couch.

Yeah, sometimes you get a mix of three or two of these, but by and large? Each subset has its advantages and disadvantages, its flaws and benefits, something to admire and love and something to detest and hate. And men, I think you owe it yourself to experience all five of those sub-goths before you get your bachelor's degree. Why? Because goth women -- for better or worse -- represent the most varied range of feminine character types. While some are pretentious and -- ironically -- stuck-up some are cool. They will make you laugh, they will make you cry, they will make you think notions that are existential that are profound and they will -- by design, perhaps -- make you want to kill yourself. Even as fleeting, transitory relationships, they offer you something to consider about both the fairer sex and that what you are as an individual. You date nothing but club women or cheerleaders or nerds for a year, and you won't learn any nobler truths. Spend a year dating only goth women, however, and an whole cosmos of previously unrevealed knowledge befalls you. Hell, you may even find one which is just the ideal match, and who knows?

But maybe the biggest motive to date goth women even though you're a young dude? Because, to put it simply, existing at age 25 stops. They're professionals today, and they must terraform themselves to that dull, staid, office drone appearance. Adios blouse with sayonara eggplant eyeshadow and the shoulder pads. The ring comes out, the Doc Martens proceed the Cureshirts and the thrift shop are locked away never to see the light of day. You can always locate a bubbly cheerleader or artsy geek kind when you're 30 and 40. But the red-blooded goth? You have got up until your senior year in school, and that is pretty much your last opportunity to land one your own age.

For those of you have been pursuing a darker kind? Bear in mind, the clock is running out, and the sands of time are falling by a lot. And you don't need to visit your grave not knowing what it is like to make out with a woman wearing lipstick to midnight, do you?

Rebel Street Clothing

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a-w-k-o-h-a-w-n-o-h · 4 years

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upon realising i was never meant to be here

i’ve kind of known all my life that something about my existence was always a little bit off. always feeling just slightly out of place in places where everybody “like” me felt they belonged the most, feeling like somewhat of an observer when family got together. i suppose that a little part of me is always sort of floating above me, observing what i should be feeling and doing instead of me actually experiencing and doing these things.

i’ve been meaning to write about this for a while. i think it’s played a bigger part in the past few years of my life than i ever realised. i don’t even remember when i found out, but while i’ve been in my early twenties, at some point, i learned that i am a child of an affair. half my life i’ve been a child of divorce, but i just learned to live with that. but a child of an affair feels like a totally different level of broken.

my parents got married a couple of years after they had me. lots of people have kids before they get married; i never thought of anything of it. but now i think, did they get married because they had me? did they feel they owed that to me? did they want to prove themselves somehow? is it vain of me to think that way?

their marriage was deeply, deeply troubled. as an adult looking back on what i know, it’s obvious to me that my parents were doomed from the start, although i’ve never been able to fully pinpoint why i felt that way. maybe it came from seeing it end, seeing how they hated each other. i don’t have a single childhood memory where my parents seemed happy. that’s not to say they ever showed that to me directly as a little kid... their interactions with each other and their individual interactions with me were so, so different. i know they loved me, and they love me just as equally as they love my siblings. out of the four of us together, i know that only my eldest brother was planned. my mum has always told me that the other three of us were “surprises”. what if that’s not true, and i’m the “accident”?

i feel like an accident. my existence is clumsy. i stumbled my way through high school, and to be honest i think i fell before the finish line and never really had my victory run. the fact that i finished doesn’t mean shit to me. my last 3 or 4 years in formal education, i was completely consumed by my mental health. most of my memories of sixth form are overrun by hiding in bathroom stalls and having panic attacks sitting at computers, or crying in the corridor where everybody could fucking see me but i had nowhere to fucking go because i was frozen and i couldn’t make myself move no matter how god damn hard i tried. i came out with some pretty poor grades, and i know that my parents definitely think i’m not smart. i know i could have done better, way better, and i know it could have happened if my parents noticed how hard i was crashing onto thin fucking ice.

i still trip up over myself a lot. i must have some sort of magnet that attracts absolute fucking idiots to me. i have a terrible habit of letting people walk all over me to the point it’s laughable, but never wanting to call them out on it because i worry too much about hurting people. which in turn leads to me hurting people anyway because i become resentful and irritable. it’s so clumsy and so irresponsible and i’m consumed by it. if a terrible person makes me feel terrible, who really wins when i inevitably end up terrible too? i don’t know what it is. maybe i’ll never know.

everything i do feels like i’m bringing down a wall of glass, even if my intentions feel like i’m decorating a windowsill with candles and flowers and fairylights, and other artsy fartsy bullshit that people seem to like to put in their windows on stupid websites like this one. i’ve never set out to hurt anybody, but i always end up doing it. and somewhere in my weird little kind-of-self-aware bubble, i let myself continue to dwell on it long after apologies enter the room, even though i stutter and stumble trying to maybe mention just how fucking hurt i am too. “don’t downplay it,” i tell myself, trying to find a gentle way to tell somebody i still have nightmares about how terrible they made me feel. how i accidentally gaslight myself after all the times they made me feel crazy and stupid.

but that’s irrelevant.

i think i’m sort of an echo of my parents’ relationship. i don’t know if i have any weird metaphor for this. i think i’m incapable of being in love and i mean that wholeheartedly, without it becoming some stupid self pity party. woe is me, whatever the fuck. i think i’m broken and i don’t know how to fix it because i’m 22 and i still don’t know what the fuck my purpose is and to be honest i don’t think i have one because my existence was and is a complete accident.

one of my earliest memories is watching my parents screaming at each other in the kitchen. they were trying to push each other out of the back door, or at least it looked like it to me. or maybe it didn’t, but that’s how i look back on it now. they were screaming at each other so loudly that i couldn’t understand what they were saying, but it was so aggressive and angry. i don’t know how old i was, but i think i was maybe 6 or 7. i remember my dad had somehow managed to get my mum mostly out of the door. she was pushing back at him, their hands were connected and they were just pushing each other. my dad is 6ft 3 and was a really big guy at the time, and she can’t be more than 5ft 4. but she was pushing back at him, she wasn’t out of the door yet. and i remember suddenly she was screaming at me. i didn’t know what she was saying, but somehow i knew she wasn’t shouting at me to be aggressive, she was trying to tell me something, or get me to do something, and i remember at 6 or 7 panicking because my mum needed me and i didn’t know what to do or what she could be screaming at me over my dad’s bellowing. but then i had an idea! i’d get the house phone for her! i remember how somehow it still felt a tiny bit wrong to do that, because it felt like i was picking a side. i wish i could recall exactly how my head worked in that moment; all i really have are memories of it that progress and deepen as i get older. but i know i had the idea to get the phone, so i ran to get it in the other room, and i ran back to the kitchen to go give it to her... somehow. when i got back in there, though, dad had pushed her out of the door. i don’t remember if they were still arguing through it, but i know he locked it. he locked my mum out of the house that she had lived in before he came into the picture. i knew even that young, that that was wrong. and i remember really feeling like that was my fault. like i didn’t do something in time, like i took too long to get to her. i remember telling my mum through the door that i had gotten the phone for her, i remember crying. and i remember she said, gently, that that’s what she’d been asking me to do, and i remember feeling so fucking stupid that i didn’t hear her. wasn’t it obvious she’d needed the phone? how stupid of me to not hear her, to not go get the god damn phone in time before she got locked out of her house and now there was nothing i could do and nothing she could do and my dad was angry and i was scared.

this isn’t my only memory of this kind of nature. i remember being a little bit older and they were trying to push each other out of the front door this time, but my big brother heard and ran to intervene just in time and he managed to push my dad out of the house before mum got locked out again. i remember that so clearly. i have so many memories like these.

the reason this has all come about again for me is because PVRIS released a song called “loveless”. i put off writing about this for a bit, and it went away for a while so i figured i didn’t need to. but i can’t seem to get away from that song.

“if this is what love is, then i guess i’m loveless”.

it feels so pathetic to say this at only 22, but i really think that i might just be loveless and it kind of comes full circle to be my fault in a way because i’m the child of the affair here that troubled my parents so badly. i watched their marriage disintegrate, granted i never really knew it to be good in the first place, but i never knew just how deeply intertwined i was with that. i think it’s my fault they were so miserable; maybe not directly, but i think i’m definitely part of the root.

maybe that’s why i’m so fucking clumsy in everything i do. i was never meant to be here in the first place, so it’s like i’m constantly crashing life events and friendships and experiences for other people, because everybody else’s lives are embedded in the ground and i’m kind of falling about all over the place without an anchor. that makes sense to me, but it’s past 2am, so maybe it won’t the next time i read this back. that seems to be another common theme in my life.

i’m trying to think of some sort of positive that could come from this. if everything is sort of embedded and i’m kind of just existing on top of things, then surely that means i can do and go where ever i want. right? i would hope so. i don’t know if i believe that, but i’m going to hold on to that because i have to, and because i don’t want to keep ending these silly ramblings with depressing shite.

i was never meant to be here. how good is that?

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lookgoodformula · 6 years

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MAC NICOPANDA | Can You Guess Which of These 5 Looks Was Done By a Child?

Can you guess which of these looks was done by a real, live human child? And by “child,” I don’t mean my inner child. 😁 I mean the other child who also resides at this address. (The two-year-old one.) HAHAHA!

Is it look one, two, three, four or five? I know, it’s quite a mystery…

I was inspired by the visuals for the MAC NICOPANDA collection (which is available meow, BTW). There’s something very “Matisse meets Jem and the Holograms” about it…

It’s cray but I love ❤️ it.

The colors are mostly pastels, mint green, pink and violet interspersed with darker shades like navy blue, gray and a dark plum, which I like because those are colors I wear all the time, although normally with browns.

I get a cool, edgy, artsy-fartsy theatrical performance vibe, like this is makeup that androgynous club kids who are tight with the bouncer and never wait in line might wear.

So, the theme isn’t exactly my gig right now (my scene is Club Toddler in My Living Room), but I’m feenin’ hard for the packaging, because the second-grade me who loved all things Hello Kitty is going bananas 🍌 over the panda heads.

Continue reading "MAC NICOPANDA | Can You Guess Which of These 5 Looks Was Done By a Child?" on Makeup and Beauty Blog.

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inquiringquilter · 5 years

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My July Island Batik Challenge

The July challenge for the Island Batik Ambassadors was “Artsy Fartsy,” and it was to showcase the beautiful Aurifil threads that are included in our twice yearly boxes. Aurifil is a partner in the Island Batik Ambassador program and as such has always been generous in sharing their threads with us.

I’ve been an Aurifil user for years, well before the Ambassador program. I love how low lint they are, and how perfectly they stitch! I can honestly say that both my piecing and my quilting improved after I tried Aurifil. No kidding.

Aurifil Threads - A Guide

So for the benefit of those of you who may not be as familiar with Aurifil, let me present this quick tutorial.

As you can see, Aurifil threads have different colored spools. The orange spools you see here are 50 wt. good for both piecing and quilting.

The green spools are 40 wt. which you can also use for piecing although I typically don’t. I use 40 wt for quilting and for machine applique. 40 wt is thicker than 50 wt by just a touch, so it’s more visible. Choose it when you want your quilting to show just a bit more than normal.

The grey spools are 28 wt. Because this thread is even thicker than 40 wt, use it when you want a decorative touch. For example,if you are adding a decorative stitch to the edges of your applique (such as a blanket stitch), use 28 wt for a bold look. You can quilt with 28 wt like I did in my challenge quilt, and it will be visible and add a nice texture. You can also hand-quilt with this thread.

Not shown because I didn’t use them in my piece but also included in my Island Batik box are these threads: the red spool on the left is 12 wt. and it’s perfect for sashiko, redwork, and other hand embroidery. It’s also a good choice in art quilting where you want the stitches to be an integral part of the piece.

The natural colored spool second from the left is Aurifloss, which is suited for embroidery just like other floss. The red spool third from the left is 12 wt. wool thread (actually, it’s a blend of wool and acrylic) that’s perfect for woolwork embroidery. The darker natural colored spool on the right is 80 wt. Because it’s so thin, this thread is perfect for hand piecing and applique, English paper piecing, “invisible” machine applique, and quilting.

Aurifil also makes other threads including an awesome invisible thread and a special thread designed just for the longarm that they call FortyThree (40 wt. 3-strand thread designed to take the stress of high-speed quilting). Always in Stitches (the quilt shop where I work) carries Aurifil threads so they keep me supplied.

My Quilt

I thought long and hard about how I wanted to showcase these wonderful threads in a quilt, and I came up with several ideas. I often sit on ideas while they gel until something nudges me in the right direction. I finally got the nudge after scanning through some photos and finding this one, of a cardinal on our bird feeder in the dead of winter.

I didn’t copy the photo exactly in my quilt, as you can see. I added another cardinal because just one seemed to lonely. I used a yellow and green batik as the background instead of the light grey of our house because I liked how the red cardinal fabric looked with it. I moved the spruce tree closer to the feeder than it was in the photo to improve the composition and I added less snow to its branches because I felt that the hint of snow was enough.

Here’s my quilt, which I’m calling Wintertide.

I used fusible machine applique to create Wintertide. I started with the feeder and the cardinals because they seemed the easiest to do. I built the feeder on my pressing sheet and then fused it in place as a whole unit onto the backing. Next, I added the cardinals and fused them in place.

I edge stitched the feeder and cardinals to finish them, using 50 wt threads in the following colors: #2846 Iceberg, #2260 Red Wine, #2692 Black and #2235 Orange.

To simulate the browner feathers of a female cardinal, I overstitched them with 80 wt. #2372 Dark Antique Gold.

Next, I started cutting and fusing the branches of the spruce. I used a variety of blue greens and greens to create a rich tapestry of color. To add the texture of the branches, I machine stitched their edges with spikes of thread. Here I varied not only the color but the thread weight in the hopes of creating a more natural look.

I used the following threads to embellish the branches: 28 wt. #1125 Medium Teal and #2890 Very Dark Grass Green; 40 wt. #2890 Very Dark Grass Green and #2885 Medium Spruce; and 50 wt. #4093 Jade, #5013 Asphalt, #4129 Turf Green, #2785 Very Dark Navy, and #4644 Smoke Blue.

I didn’t need to quilt in the spruce area because I’d done all that texture stitching. So I quilted only in the background areas, using 50 wt. #4129 Turf Green. I wanted to emphasize the wintery feel so I chose a swirly, windy pattern.

As i often do, I used scraps for the back, binding, and hanging sleeve.

Here are the quilt details:

"Wintertide" 17-1/4” x 20-1/2" Original Design Fabrics: Island Batik scraps, including #121815843 Paisley Tree Peacock from the Elk Lodge collection for the Background, #BE32-F4 Nutmeg for the backing, and Pinecone for the binding. Batting: Hobbs Batting 80/20 Piecing Thread: Aurifil 50 wt. #2610 (Light Blue Grey) Quilting Thread: Aurifil 50 wt. #4129 (Turf Green) Applique and Embellishment Threads: 28 wt. #1125 Medium Teal and #2890 Very Dark Grass Green; 40 wt. #2890 Very Dark Grass Green and #2885 Medium Spruce; and 50 wt. #2846 Iceberg, #2260 Red Wine, #2692 Black, #2235 Orange, #2372 Dark Antique Gold, #4093 Jade, #5013 Asphalt, #4129 Turf Green, #2785 Very Dark Navy, and #4644 Smoke Blue. Pieced and quilted by Jennifer Fulton

Next month, our challenge is to create a star quilt. Wish me luck in getting my quilt done more quickly! Actually, this challenge only applies to half of us, as the other Ambassadors are participating in a blog hop featuring the Spring 2017 collection. The blog hop begins Monday. Come back then when I post the schedule and links to every blog. The collections are gorgeous and you won’t want to miss the hop (or the giveaways!)

So What Are You Working On?

Thanks for stopping by!

While you’re here, why not take a moment and share what you’ve been working on in my weekly show-and-tell linkup, Wednesday Wait Loss? Click here to read all about it and to link up a photo.

Disclosure: The products featured here were provided to me free of charge by Island Batik, Aurifil, Hobbs, and AccuQuilt GO!