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longeyelashedtragedy · 4 months

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lampard life update

just got the sweetest message from a Very Experienced Social worker i worked with. censoring things that identify the specific place i worked, and my name bc i fucking HATE my name and would rather pretend it didn't exist:

basically this is the kind of feedback i've been getting for the past almost 24 hours--my phone's been blowing up between coworkers and people who work for the City Government (TM). i talked shit on the phone with said Dana this morning (who is...amazing and this very passionate jewish lady who totally plays into my Mommy Issues and she wants to meet me for coffee) and she said she'd act as a reference and gave me some interesting job tips. mind you, i've only known these people since october.

-as i said to protect daniel james i've applied to more jobs in the past 12 hours than frank lampard has applied to in the past 7 months! people are like "you should rest and relax" and like yeah, but i'm not young enough to be on my parents' health insurance anymore and as marieke said, being unemployed in america is scary. being close to broke in nyc is terrifying! i'm stressed as fuck but also never have to enter that trauma pit with the Evil Boss again?

-i was crying last night not even because of me but because of thinking of all the people i work with and support who i didn't get to say goodbye to and i don't know what they will do without my support cause i have no idea who tf will replace me. and whoever does, isn't going to know the context of how to help these people. i literally called some people of my own volition today--i still have access to the city databases that i use--and will have some more calls monday. i cared. i fucking loved my job in terms of the actual duties and responsibilities, and i was GOOD at it when i wasn't being traumatized by, as my New Job Work Bestie said on the phone last night, "a stupid evil cunt." if the shoe fits lol. like literally there are people whose timesheets i sign on fridays and i have no idea who the fuck else can sign them and how will they get paid!!!!! i was frantically texting them at like 11 last night because fuck! that's not fucking right if people don't get paid bc of this evil woman!

-people are advising me to lawyer up and lawyer parents are looking into it. they messed with the wrong bitch! the reason why i am possibly pursuing this is because at the time of my termination~ i had already opened the process of an ADA (americans with disabilities act) accommodation request, feat. a letter from my psychiatrist discussing my PTSD, which is not like. A fun thing to discuss multiple times with multiple people at work, and yet i did. Because i wanted to try to make it work, and all i fucking asked for was to be moved to another job location. My job has around 50 locations. In no universe is that a difficult request, plus, i was asking for a like secondary thing instead which was--fucking staff the vacant position at my job so i was no longer one person doing a two person job.and WEIRDLY, on wednesday i was just told that i WAS getting another person--on monday! she's someone i vaguely know, and we had an amazing zoom talk yesterday afternoon--so like. wtf? the famous dana (see above) said that at the least we could bully them into a better severance package if they were afraid i would sue. The place i worked at is Very Behated in new york and the media thrives on the place getting negative attention.

-another option that occured to me is that i was fired by Evil Boss because she thought i was going to rat her out about things she is doing that are unethical and probably illegal. (i know this sounds dramatic but i won't go into job details in public for various reasons--i already revealed too much in the screenshot!) i was not going to do that, but also i wasn't DEFENDING her and saying what she was doing was okay, and that came to her attention yesterday and she went the fuck off on me. she told me i had to tell the famous dana NOT to inform people that their rights were being violated, and i'm like---I cannot tell someone what to say and not to say, and that would be a REALLY SHADY THING TO SAY? so this bitch probably got spooked. Who even knows what happened but this is clearly one of the most unjust sackings in history 😂 maybe they will hire mourinho to take over my position

-how did i make such a positive impact on 7914433 people while having the most horrific trauma episode since before i started taking meds? damn. i guess i put my whole longeyelashedtragedussy into making connections and truly enjoying them

#lampard life 2024 #i'm scared...i'm so out of money #and relying on my parents for help is a really bad idea lol #but also like. shit is weird bc people are being SO NICE TO ME #sorry for TMI post

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lady-literature · 4 years

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A Miraculous DC Crossover

ALL RIGHT!!

I’ve been sucked into this unholy sub-fandom and I have thoughts okay? lots of them. Almost none are coherent and I don’t care. I have no plotline to write a fic but by the gods do I need to get out all my ideas.

Behold:

the Salttm

Lila, obviously. But she’s a petty nuisance at best, and an annoyingly competent akuma to fight at worst. manipulative, but not really dangerous ya feel?

Alya. which like, home girl probably doesn’t deserve but like,,, the drama??

CHLOE REDEMPTION YOU COWARDS

She and Marinette become surprisingly good friends (because I love that for both of them and you can pry it from me cold, dead hands)

Nettie-bug and Queenie

They pick on Adrien together

Mari’s friends Protection Squad That Don’t Take No Shit

Adrien

Chloe

NINO BITCH HE DESERVES MORE LOVE TBH

Alix?? Probably

Luka obvi

Felix (PV)?? Or does Marinette have enough emotionally constipated boys in her life?

(Answer: no. no she does not.)

Nath? He be a good fox tbh. creative and sneaky boi

Kagami!!! I love her

They’re all heroes because I say so.

Felix (Sparrow) is an honorary member even though he doesn’t have a miraculous

He handles PR and other background things along with Chloe

Joined up a few years back when Parisians were getting a bit too critical of the heroes

No Hawkmoth b/c fuck that guy

He existed, just not anymore. Bitch got yeeted

There’s other villains in town now. After Hawkmoth’s defeat other metas/supervillains looked at Paris and was just like, ‘free real estate?”

So now the Miraculous Team are Paris’ Actual Full-Time Hero TeamTM… yay.

Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Abielle (or like, Wasp/Yellow Jacket idk Chloe changes her name because ~identity stuff~) are the core three team. like, the wonder woman/batman/superman trio of the MTeam.

Nath is called Reynard Ambre b/c I love him

The public knows he exists but he’s never seen in battle and no pictures exist.

but there are plenty of instances where Paris knows he out mucking around because those akuma battles always get really weird.

Marinette be the guardian?

Guardian in training

Along with all the other holders b/c jesus. Give the girl a break.

Yeah. I like that Idea. All current holders are training to be guardians as well, but Mari’s going to step up as Guardian Supreme when Fu steps down.

Hero fashion!!!

The Miraculous Team is all decked out in their own merch like 24/7

Rarely is it thier own hero persona tho

Not because of like,,,, secrecy or anything. Just because they’re all nerds who love each other

Marinette is the lead producer of Miraculous Merchandise. It’s like,,, her BrandTM It was completely unintentional too

(Adrien and Chloe financially support her work tho. She designs, makes a prototype, and has her two blondes get others to replicate it)

Half of Paris is wearing her without knowing it

(Go MDC! get it girl!)

She totally makes Gotham inspired outfits because what else would she do????

Don’t get her wrong, most of Gotham’s fashion sense royally pisses her off but it’s fun and hey, supporting her fellow heroes ya know?

She wears a Robin hoodie after being officially acquainted with both Damian and Robin (separately of course)

Damian chokes on something, probably his own tongue.

It confuses Nettie. But then she thinks maybe he’s a fan too? She offers to make one for him but he steadfastly refuses much to his brothers’ amusement.

Might make a robin themed dress?? If so, she crosses paths with Robin when she does, thoroughly embarrassing her and almost sending poor Dami into a crisis.

Rogues Gallery

She makes a lot of designs off the rouges gallery because like, supporting people trying to get better??? also they’re some of the few who’s aesthetic aint shit?

She can’t make all of them because she ran out of time, so the rest get posited up on her Instagram and MDC blog (that’s run by Tikki mostly. She’s a great secretary and gets bored in Mari’s purse all the time)

Everyone is very flattered

Harley, if she ever finds it, immediately commission all pieces and wears them around Gotham don’t @ me

Daminette obvi

Marinette meets him and is just like ‘wow, you’re horrible. I want five’

Marinette, in the group chat later: so I met Kagami and Felix’s love child today

Kagami and Felix, seconds apart: I would never stoop so low

immediately after: Hey what the fuck? Rude

Nino: Nettie, dearest, sunshine, light of our collective lives and reason I breathe, what the fuck

Adrien: Kagami, my love, how could you? the Betrayal

Chloe: ew

Luka: Send pics or it didn’t happen

Nath: [insert the ‘right in front of my salad?’ meme]

Whenever they cross paths as Robin and Mari, he’ll just like,,, appear from nowhere hanging upside down spiderman style. Mari finds it endearing but she also wants him to stop scaring the shit out of her

Nicknames, because I have an unhealthy obsession with them, alright?

Misc Mari names: Bug, Bugaboo, Buginette, Madame President/Colonel (when the Team’s being cheeky), Princess, Marigold, Nettie (by like, Nino and Alix)

Jason calls her Pixie-pop

The bird boys call her Nightingale/Mockingbird in like, honor of her being a kickass civillian

Mari refers to them as ‘the flock’ (and bird-brains after getting to know them better)

Damian calls her: Starling, Habibti, ya qamar(my moon), malaki (angel), ya wardati(my flower) (b/c like, angel’s cute an all but I just think Damian’s way more dramatic than that tbh. he’d put thought into his nicknames)

Mari calls Damian: mon soleil (my sunshine) (because symmetry and also Mari thinks she’d hilarious), Birdie, petit oiseau/oisillon

I like the idea of Jagged being a native Gothamite tbh

it’s just so fun honestly???

He’s probably the reason the MTeam are in Gotham in the first place? maybe? anyway, the class is there, right? right.

Kagami, Luka and Felix are all holding the fort down in Paris. Ain't no akumas but sometimes they need backup so when certain heroes need to disappear, Nath has Trixx set up an illusion of whichever one so they can slip away with the horse miraculous.

Mari’s the one who has to leave the most because she’s still Paris’ damage control, so like,,,,, ya know.

Mari doesn’t get left behind, at least not on the first day b/c come on people! She has plenty of friends in class watching out for her and a semi-competent teacher who does care even if she’s non-confrontational to a fault.

She does eventually become separated from the group. Half because of Lila and half because she’s always fucking late and got distracted.

She actually runs into one of the civilian batfam in the first place because the class was allowed an hour or so to wander around the shopping district or whatever to explore/buy things/get food. They just needed to return to the meetup spot at a certain time but Mari is like ten minutes away when it’s five minutes to the meetup

So she’s just… fucking booking it and completely takes out this trained vigilante without trying to.

Mari, as she’s groaning on the ground, tangled around a boy: By Kwamii, I thought my luck was supposed to be good Tikki.

That or like, the subway doors close before she can get on them and the rest of the class ends up ahead of her leaving her to get caught up on some bullshit in the next train or smth.

Oh, like. Of course it’s her train that gets held hostage. Wonderful.

(Later, Mari will rant at Tikki about her luck. A common conversation between the two tbh.)

This could be where she officially meets the Batfam as the Batfam. Or, like. A couple of em, at least.

Marinette getting serial adopted by the whole goddamn batfamily because i will die for this trope tbh i dont even care

The Robins nickname her Nightingale before they realize she’s Ladybug

They still call her that after but it’s not with the intention of making it her hero name anymore

Her and Alfred are def bros you don’t understand

Actually, Gina and Alfred are old friends. Mari totally knows Alfie before the bat fam and calls him Poppy/Pépé

which floors the batfam because what? Since when does that happen???

Alfred and Mari never, like, actually met in person before, but video chats exist and Gina def talks about the two to each other so it’s like they may as well know each other.

I also like the idea of Alfred being a former holder, probably the peacock. I would adore that

Just,,,, so many fun hero shenanigans

Yeah sure. The batfam are super detectives and have a history of figuring out people’s identities in no time at all. Whatever. Where’s the drama in that though? The showmanship?

Fuck canon, the Miraculous all have glamours because magic bitch and it plays fucking hell on the Batfam and all their shit

Every single Batfam member is simultaneously pulling their hair out because they don’t know who these heroes are???? Why can they figure them out?? Confusion???????

Miraculous team is just…. Straight up laughing at them. The poor dears.

That one gag where it’s a well-known secret that Mari has connections to every Parisian hero and is basically their own personal catering service/comfort place.

Also, it’s the worst kept secret in Paris that Mari is Multimouse

None of the MTeam have confirmed that rumour but they also don’t deny it.

they actually started the rumour. If all of Paris thinks Mari’s the mouse, a temporary hero, no one’s going to think she’s Ladybug/or that she’s an easy target to go after

chloe actually came up with that one

Mari meeting all of Damian’s ‘associates’ (ie pets)

She adores all of them and they her.

Especially GOLIATH, why isn’t he talked about more honestly???? He’s GREAT

She meets Goliath as Ladybug and Robin is just… so done with him??? You are supposed to be a fearsome beast and a professional why are you rolling over and expoSING YOUR STOMACH??? Meanwhile, Ladybug is just: Awww! Who’s a good boy? Who’s the best boy? You are! Look at how handsome you are! Cute widdle baby-

Miraculous Team hanging on the roof of their hotel kinda chilling

Maybe having a debate about doing some free-running/parkour?

Also maybe about whether or not they should be heroes while in Gotham

MT being like, why can’t we go and stop an armed robbery? we can help!

“Gotham already has very active heroes-”

“Vigilantes!”

“-whatever. I don’t want us stepping on any toes. This isn’t our terf and Batman’s known for being strict about Metas rolling around here.”

“We aren’t Metas though.”

“I don’t think he’ll enjoy splitting that particular hair, Nino. Just- not unless lives are at stake, okay? Emergencies only.”

“Yes, Colonel Ladybug.”

This debate most def gets crashed by batfam and confusion ensues upon both sides

batfam didn’t hear anything, they’re just really confused about these french kids hanging out on a roof in Gotham

Just.... yes. all of that. I have like, more but those are not organized or even remotely coherent. here you go! I might write for this but I already have other fics rn so... it wouldn’t be for a while. and as I said, I have no plot.

take this though, i guess. *throws confetti*

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jabberwockprince · 3 years

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my favorite ship dynamic is neglected rich princes who cope with trauma by being dramatic brats and who only have each other as emotional support

so anyway here’s some good Red Prince & Prince Average content, just two bros dealing with their curses by ignoring them completely - the fellas in the red shoes server were like “hey, your OCs BUT with the credits’ artstyle” and I blacked out for 2 hours to draw that first pic

commissions are open if yall interested btw !!

AND HERE COMES THE BRAINROT RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT OH BOY OH FUCK OH SHIT

inhales, i’m a Jack simp cause I love pretty french boys that also happen to be blondies but I also love Discount Lucio, so obviously I gave Prince Average rights while making my OC

I like to HC that Prince Average comes from a long line of known hunters since he IS based on the Huntsman from Snow White - but y’know, his family wanted a hunter and they got a kid who realized he wants the entire royal experience, fancy balls and all of that, instead of the Noble Art Of Shooting Things :tm:

So with that lack of understanding and support from his family, Average is left to inherit the entire fucking shebang. And it doesnt END WELL because he’s young dumb and full of dreams of grandeur, so he pretty much ruins the entire family name, leading to his unpopularity

but ALSO he and Red Prince are childhood friends, they met when they were just little dudes dreaming about being big heroic princes. Wonderland was going thru hard times after the disappearance of the White Queen (one of Red’s mothers because if no one else is gonna shove LGTB+ characters in this bitch then I will) and needed allies, so most of Red Prince’s childhood friends were just strategic relationships to strengthen the bond between different kingdoms and powerful families

Back then, Prince Average was your stereotypical starry eyed hero, boasting about his family’s achievements, on the OTHER HAND tho, Red Prince was a momma’s boy, a crybaby thru and thru. And then you know, typical fairytale stuff happens.

Red Prince gets cursed for being the wolf who cried wolf, Prince Average decides to focus on being an immature hedonist, they turn into the mean teens who judge your shoes and your lifestyle, develop even more dysfunctional and toxic habits due to untreated trauma, enable each other never change, the usual.

then POOF, some girlboss hottie kills her evil stepmother and gets her very own malewife trophy boy and Prince Average is turned into both a fucking tree and a gremlin dwarf in the span of like, a day or two. So obviously the first thing he does is cry about it and then demand that other people fix it. And by other people I mean Red Prince, who is too busy trying to break his own curse after 7 years of doing nothing but sit on his ass and brood.

and they get their own 2D Animated Spin Off Show where they go around Fairy Tale Island annoying other popular fairytale characters to find an easy fix for their problems until the F7 and Snow show up to teach them about the importance of independence, agency and responsibility for 2 seasons and bOOM then there’s a MOVIE where they finally break their curses by pure unfiltered self-appreciation and love and friendship, none of that romantic love cliche and also solve the 10 different plotholes from the show

no, i havent slept in 20 hours. no i wont apologize for anything

#red shoes and the 7 dwarfs #red shoes and the seven dwards #rsatsd #prince average #purinsu art

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florafey · 5 years

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Thoughts on TWK

I started reading The Wicked King on 24 Jan. 2019, and finished about half an hour ago on 27 Jan. 2019. I decided to make an all-inclusive list of my thoughts/theories as I read. Here they all are.

Spoilers, of course, are under the cut.

- When did the prologue take place? I was thinking it was directly after the happenings of The Cruel Prince, and it caught my neck when it wasn’t.

- “His most ostentatious decoration, however, is his soft, sullen mouth.” Lmaoo Jude, girl you in lOOovEE hehehe

- Jude is probably right to not trust Grimsen because I don’t either, but it’s too bad CARDAN doesn’t LISTEN

- Jude seems to have fallen into authority really naturally, giving orders to Faeries as though she isn’t viewed as lesser. She’s turning into a protagonist you have a love/hate relationship with and Black is writing that extremely well in my opinion

- I think the Roach teaching Cardan how to steal is amazing and it will certainly come in handy later on it did, believe me

- Jude burning her stuffed animals is so DramaticTM but go ahead, girl

- I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke at all

- “Kiss me again. Kiss me until I am sick of it.” SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE IT DAMMIT JUDE

- Jude seems to always tell Cardan before she commands him which is super respectful for someone she’s supposed to loath

- “The last room Cardan occupied caught fire....let me rephrase, it caught fire because he lit it on fire.” I’m sorry, I was rolling, that was hysterical

- Jude and the Bomb lying on the High King’s bed together to “see if its safe” and teasing each other about crushes only for the Bomb to actually open up to Jude and trust her ??? Wow okay wasn’t ready for those feels

- I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke, I don’t like Locke at all

- Cardan really stole Jude’s ruby ring I’m DEAD that was kinda petty

- When Locke tried to humiliate Jude at the Hunter’s Moon, only for her to take the attention and OWN it...a bitch was shook. That was such a power move on Jude’s part. I have one (1) Queen and her name is Duarte

- I was on page 173 where I had known about Cardan’s mother being imprisoned for approximately .27 seconds and I already couldn’t wait to see what unfolded with her

- Eva’s child was destined to be a greater weapon than even Justin could forge......mmmmmmm that child is for sure Jude

- “He survived on cat milk?” that was a little sad and a lot funny, sorry sorry

- BAPHEN SEES A NEW MONARCH COMIIIIIIIING (IS IT JUDE HERSELF OR IS JUDE PREGNAAAAANT????)

- Cardan sitting sideways in his throne with his leg thrown over the armrest is a Big Mood and I expected nothing less

- I absolutely detest Locke and how he treats Taryn, but I love seeing Jude snap at him and assert herself over him like a straight QWEEN

- I also feel so, so bad for Taryn because it seems like she truly loves Locke and is willing to overlook how he treats her- including how he’s cheating on her with countless Faeries- just to have him near her. She’s growing dependent on him but she doesn’t have anyone to help pull her out of that situation and I feel awful for her

- hell YEAH my Jurdan slept together best BELIEVE

- Jude kicking Locke’s chair out from under him is simply another reason on an already lengthy list of why she’s literally my hero also the way she stepped on Locke’s chest and threatened him

- “Once you’re wed, if you want to take other lovers, she better be with you, and she better be into it. If it’s not fun for everyone, it’s not happening.” A great way to put it, but also made me giggle a lil bit

- Jude not knowing what pepper jack cheese is

- Oof I hated the way Vivi handled the whole deal with telling Heather about Faerie.....telling her at the last possible minute was not a great plan in my opinion

- “It seems I have a singular taste for women who threaten me.” Cardan, I-

- I DON”T LIKE LOCKE ONE FUCKING BIT NUH UH

- Okay, Queen of Nothing just got that much better because I know Jude won’t let Locke almost kill her and get away with it....she’s coming for him hehehe

- Jude’s brain really told her, ‘Kill him before he makes you love him’ like...babey that’s so DramaticTM

- I pieced together the Ghost’s betrayal only, like, four seconds before it actually happened but that didn’t make it hurt aNY LESS. I’m interested in hearing motives for that because very few were offered

- “Now kiss me as though I were Cardan.” BITCH, I-

- And Jude actually kissed Balekin differently, because that bitch is in loooove

- So you really expect me to sit here and read about how Cardan ALLOWED the Undersea to attack his people without retaliation just to get Jude back and not think he’s in love with her???? yeah okay

- Cardan’s first reaction to seeing Jude on top of him in his bed is to pull her closer to him and roll her in his sheets...I’m weak send help

- Cardan canonically sleeps naked. Thank you, @hollyblack for giving us that gem

- The sheer vulnerability that Cardan has with Jude in his bed is touching and heart-wrenching and I need more, more, so much more

- You know what really killed me? Like, absolutely decimated me? This quote: “’Yes, my sweet villain, my darling god. I will be as sober as a stone carving, just as soon as I can.’ And with that, he kisses me on the mouth.”

- Balekin’s dusty ass really tried to frame Jude for the murder of the High King and then his wig got snATCHED when he realized she wasn’t actually glamoured

- I need more Jude taking care of a sick/drunk Cardan, comforting him and telling him he’ll be okay

- Balekin’s dusty ass also tried to surrender the moment he realized Jude was beating him in their duel and his wig got snatched again when she still killed him hell yeeeaaahhhh

- The only good part of the scene where Jude finds out Taryn betrayed her is when Caradan admits he trusted her wholeheartedly and she didn’t have to command him to do anything

- I also need motives for Taryn doing this because ???? it isn’t adding up

- So I’d like to think that Cardan had been planning on marrying Jude since the beginning of the book when he initially stole her ring, because he gave it back to her as a wedding ring

- “Beneath every bit of your sea is land. Seething, volcanic land. Go against me, and I will show you what this will do, my lady.” OKAY NOW I HAVE ONE (1) KING AND HIS NAME IS GREENBRIAR

- I loved it when Jude was like “during my month in the Undersea, Cardan changed.” like lol yeah babey, he’s your slut and he’s in love with you

- Okay okay okay alright alright we were getting somewhere with Jude and Cardan trusting each other but I fell like this exile might have put a damper on that. Maybe could have taken us a few steps back.

- I, for one, do not having debilitating trust issues so I’m sticking my neck out for Cardan and saying that he has a plan and a good reason for exiling Jude. It was in response for her killing Balekin and it was in front of Orlagh, who was demanding retribution for his death, soooooo idk seems like he was playing his cards wisely if he had a plan

- Is Jude....watching....Yuri! On Ice....?? Because same

- Honestly this book gave me crippling trust issues and anxiety and I need the third book like, instantly. It was amazing, I wanted to cry through the whole thing

- If you made it this far, congrats, you witnessed my emotional roller coasters and I appreciate that

#the wicked king #the cruel prince #folk of the air #my thoughts #wicked king spoilers

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lcvebuilt · 5 years

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That’s FINN MIKAELSON not ROSS BUTLER. He is OLD AF and an ORIGINAL VAMPIRE. He may be +resourceful, +strategic, & +intelligent but he's also -resentful, -cunning & -petty.

hey there hi there! it’s ya girl c, back at it again with a new muse. this time, it’s actual disaster finn mikaelson. let’s just say he’s not very happy about being back in his original body, and would have been much happier body-jumping or something of the like. but we’ll get into that later.

BACKGROUND

finn is a canon character from tvd / the originals. he is the second oldest of the mikaelsons, after freya. speaking of freya.. her being taken away from the mikaelsons is why he’s so strange with his siblings. he was suffering from extreme ptsd, let’s be clear, from losing her to their ‘aunt’ so he distanced himself from the rest of them. always and forever? he doesn’t know her.

he is best known for all the years he spent daggered in a coffin bc klaus doesn’t know how to have healthy relationships! when the rest of the siblings were undaggered after the five were defeated, he was left to rot bc he was a downer. i get it, but yeesh. unfortunately for finn, he started to come to over time and was conscious in his body even though he couldn’t move or undagger himself. so he went a little crazy, which, yeah, understandable. but before that, he was in love with a mortal named sage who he agreed to turn (at her request) even though he believed he was condemning her. that’s love, bitch. when he was daggered though, she was on her own, he’s also died several times. he was the first original vampire to die, which decimated his sire line. ( and killed sage wyd ) y’all welcome for THAT. someone had to be the guinea pig i guess.

but this is tvd / the originals, so the dead never really stay dead. when esther was brought back and possessed the body of a young with, she brought finn back and threw him in vincent griffiths body. he continued his legacy of being a mama’s boy and helped esther fight against his siblings. the goal was for all of them to end up in witch bodies so they wouldn’t be immortal monsters forever. they got kol in a witch’s body, and rebekah at one point, but the plan was largely unsuccessful. he also got a little creepy creepy with cami, trying to infiltrate into the lives of people close to klaus, there was a whole lot of drama that went down there but it confirmed finn’s coffin ptsd triggers for me so y’know ok. i think we also confirm how fucking savage finn is, even though he tries to play nice guy. he’s just as bad as his siblings he just think he’s doing the “right” thing which, ok buddy,

FINAL DEATH DESTINATION

finn died for good towards the end of the originals s3. he was bit by lucien and died on relatively good terms with his whole family. he died surrounded by all of his siblings and finally started to understand the whole ‘always and forever’ mantra they always had. he was also starting to come around to the whole immortality thing so its ironic that he had to die.

NOW...

finn ‘i’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me’ mikaelson is back. i feel like he woke up and was just like... are you fucking kidding me. nature couldn’t throw him back in a witch body, or heck even a human body? nah he’s an original. he’s a little less upset about it than he would have been years earlier but i feel like he felt peace, though he can’t remember, so he’s pretty bitter about having it stolen from him.

personality wise, finn has always been loyal to esther. do i think he might try to find a way to bring her back? maybe so. will he also try to find a way to bodyjump into a witch? 100%. i think he’s definitely exploring his options y’know. it is what it is. he’s always been a moral guy but his morality has its blind spots. his mother, especially. even when she was terrible he still helped her, even at the expense of his siblings. for the most part he thinks his siblings are dramatic as hell and brought him a lot of suffering. like, idk, 900 years in a box. but his anger is mostly gone now, he’s resigned to his fate. he has pretty good self control with his vampirism and probably isn’t the sort to drink directly from the vein and is a bloodbags kind of guy. he’s probably less interested in the white oak now given that apparently the dead can rise bc of... gods? honestly he’s not surprised by anything he’s just like sigh okay whatever. he’s over it.

UPDATE: feb 2020

finn was doing his best to acclimate again with the family and you know what? it was working. he and klaus had one (1) civil conversation, he only tried to chomp on henrik twice, and there were croissants exchanged creepily with the niece he one tried to kill. all in all, by mikaelson standards, pretty civil. but. ( and there’s always a but) everything went to hell.

levi stone ( aka daniel warren ) who was possessed by the horseman famine infected finn with insatiable hunger. the hunger was so strong that he couldn’t control himself. this led to the daggering of his original body. rip finn. however, because he’s a paranoid bitch, he had a fail safe. in the event his body was ever daggered again, or incapacitated, he had a witch spell him into the body of a young, dumb, witch. so as the dagger went in, finn was yoinked into arlo park’s body. then, with the barrier down, he preceded to yeet out of town and to parts unknown. with cloaking spells hiding his location, and his family thinking he was slumbering ( not so ) peacefully, he’d finally achieved the ‘peace’ he thought he wanted.

so imagine he’s on a beach in tahiti, or waikiki, idek where he is but olivia raymond popped by for a quick hello and a romp ( or twelve ) in the sack, and he thinks to himself — wow self, i’d love to be in the hot tub right now. then, suddenly he is. bitch can orb because he’s also a darklighter. the witch clearly didn’t know, neither did the poor sucker he’s riding. so he’s been having some Fun with all of that let. me. tell. you.

now i know what you’re thinking .... he has it made, why come back? the quick answer is this; freya. remember that ptsd he had? that close bond? yeah it makes him stupid and that’s why he’s wandering back into the lion’s den. he’s not totally stupid though so he will have to come up with a plan as to how the hecky he pulls this one off without a) getting caught by the real arlo, and b) not tipping off his family to the betrayal TM.

#apx:intro

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gildedskull · 3 years

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so i mightve finally finally cut off the “Friend” thats ive fucking bitched and moaned about for forever on here

long fucking post under here. again this blog is more for later me to be fucking bitter apparently lul

its been like three weeks since weve talked talk

Everything has just been so fucking much, I’m majorly Not Okay, someplace I haven’t been in a loonnngg time. I’ve self harmed again.

But yeah. In me feeling like shit, I’ve decided that I just don’t care anymore, that it’s too much effort and I deserve better than how “Friend” has treated me.

I’d stay the catalyst event was when I had Another Mutual Friend over to my house, and we decided hey let’s invite “Friend” over and their new roommate (who has also been a mutual friend for a while) and Like. Written in text it doesn’t seem that major it really doesn’t.

But “Friend” essentially said no, I should just come over - drop everything and drive two hours ((I was trying to get them to uber and pay for it and then drive them back in the morning)) and there was more conversation and “Friend” said, “Oh they just blew us off like always.” - like bitch like bitchhhhh the amount of fucking times you’ve actually blown us off with set fucking plans and now you’re trying to put the fucking blame on me when this was a last minute thing, not preplanned or shit, and I could’ve just not fucking invited you and it all would’ve been fine - you’re gonna insult me like. Like you’re once again gonna be a fucking hypocrite and make me feel bad - when I could’ve just not reached out! Not said anything! Great. Fantastic. Love being friends. There was just something about that that wounded me so much. Maybe cuz it’s the one time I actually asked something of them and they didn’t do it idk. Idk. Idk.

ANYways tho. Not the point I wanted on this post.

I haven’t kept them updated about anything. I’ve started school again, car broke down, and bought a new one and I’ve told them 0 about it. not much, but it’s major for me when we used to talk every single day about the most mundane shit.

It’s been hard. I’ve wanted to. Especially being alone on campus now. I’ve wanted to reach out to them. but yeah. Part of me is wanting them to reach out again - I accidentally started the cutoff when I got really really sad and didn’t talk to anyone for a week. They sent my parents a text after about a week and a half. And then yeah, nothing more 2 week later. Like I’m not saying they ‘should’ reach out again but my selfish stupid ass is like?? that’s it?? you reach out once and that’s it??? like okay I Understand - def reinforcing that I shouldn’t reach out. Definitely reinforcing that we are not “Best Friends” as they said.

- Something that hurts more is that we’re in a group chat right, and they’ve insulted me a couple of times since radio silence. like they said to what I’d consider still fairly new friends for me, they’ve known em maybe 4 yrs by now (internet/xbox friends) - but they just said like, ‘Big gav energy when you just dipped’ and then explaining after first reach out to them what was up with me, ‘He said he just didnt wanna be a person rn So he ghosted everyone for a week :/’ which like again doesn’t seem that fucking bad. But it just twisted the knife more, like they were talking behind my back.

ADDITionally. Sorry lot to update on.

So the Mutual Friend (and the roommate) I was talking about, I’ve decided to drop them too. Like with them (Mutual Friend) I could’ve maybe considered them a best friend. But I’ve decided I’m embracing this toxic piece of shit pile of garbage image that “Friend” has for me. I don’t need friends. I truly like being alone. Is it gonna suck for a bit? Yes. But my friends have never ‘gave’ me anything besides a ‘better’ time going out in public, and literally anything I’ve done with them I can do by myself and probably have a decent time - and I can spend as much time doing it and without wasting any additional money on them. They don’t owe me shit, but in that same vein there should be no reason I’m bending over backwards for them. But yeah. In my Brand New Toxic tm fashion, I’ve decided to just cut off Mutual Friends bc there is no point or reason or kindness in making them ‘choose’ between me and “Friend”. I’ve decided to just make the decision for them, they can have them. Like. They’ve already hung out in the meantime without reaching out to me, so I’ve guess they’ve decided as well.

But yeah.

None of them have no idea about any of my feelings on this, and that’s like Probably Not Great. But I really don’t fucking care. They’ll forget me soon enough and That’s Okay and I’ll only have my fucking parents as ‘friends’ and That’s Okay and I’ll never have anyone again bc I’m too tired and anxious and don’t think it’s worth the time to try and make new friends who will ever understand me again.

Am I being the most dramatic bitch out here. Yes. Do I really at the end of the day care. No. Can I actually feel the “walls building around my heart.” Sadly and dramatically yes. Being extra as fuck. But I am a human being with emotions and have never been treated like so. And I’m tired of that.

#my post #long ass posts like these are what happen when I dont just type vague shit in the tags which i wanted to include in the actual post #ima do it anyways #My heart has hurt so much and they really just don't care #I'm tired of being called fat and stupid and the butt of each and every of their jokes #And being ignored and meant to listen but never say anything #I think I deserve better than that #like I don't know and I hate myself but I think I deserve better

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lenin-it-to-win-it · 7 years

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“we are so (thot) married”

i was bored so i decided to write a parody of the first chapter of my good comrade @theseerofdoomisunaltered‘s magnum opus “we are so (not) married”, if i have time maybe ill do the rest but no promises bc im a lazy inconsistent bitch lmao

*****************************************************************************************************

hizashi was fuckin PISSEd!

he was angery and is upset bc shouta THAt dumB THOT had gone and goetten himself injured AGEIN!!!! he hadnt sleeped in 69 hours (hehe) bc he was 2 busy gettin turnt with tha bois (painkillers and mowten dew) and had goten into a fite with some villens (fourth graders) bc they sed cats were lame.

showta got carried by on a stretcher and hibachi pissed himself and not even in the kinyk way. paremdedics kept hziashi from geting close to the stretcher or the room shota is carreid into. “shit boi u fam?” a nurse asked.

“no’ mic sobbed loudly. “we;r emore like,, friends wtih benefits? as in, i beneFIT this dick up his ass ayy lmao” he lamaoed thru his tears.

the nurse kept askieng quetions but hizashy was sobbing too loudely to hear so he just said yes bc why not its good enouff 4 improv rite? the nurses let haizashi pass so he RAN into shotuas room, screming so loudly he killed like four people and a dog.

shoauta looked like he’d gotten fucked by knife dicks in all six holes at once. one of his legs was being held together with silly string and glue (aizawa was sniffing the bottel) and he was covered in blood and helo kitty bandaids. to put it simply he looked fine as fuck and mic was super fuckign horny for him but his teeers killed his boner

“mike u ignoernt slut ur so fcukin loud” aizawa moaned, taking a big hit from the glue bottle.

hizashey wanted to screm but he didnt want to get sued for murdeer again like last time so he kept his mouth shut by tenderly taking the glue bottle from aizawa and shovig it up his own ass.

“wat, arent u gonna offer me some simpathy sex?” aizawa asked raiesing an eyberow.

“maybe later” hixzashy wept sobbily. “right now im too full of emotion and ass glue to present my mic up ur bootyhole.

aizawa tenderly patted mic on the cheek with his scotch-taped cock (cock tape) and then licked the tears off his nuts. “its all good in the hood”

“All is N OT good in the hood you jelly filled fucknut!” mic screamed tearfully and angrily. “what if u are is DIED??? then the two of us could never cha-cha real smooth again!??? HOW COD U DO THIS TO MEH>???? IF U DIED,,,,,,” hizsahy cried and nutted at the same time “i’d die 2 bc my gay ass cant fuckien drive but its too far to walk 2 school so id try yo drive anyway and id crash the car and die and it would be ALL UR FOLT!!!!”

aizawa just rolled over in the hosptial bed and ripped his hospital gown open,e xposing his lush bird nest of chest hair and supple pink nips screaming out for slurpage. “ur so dramatic” he whsiepred seductively. “why dont u quit the shakespeare and start suckspeareing me off?”

hizashy wiped away his tears and got to succking. the nurse walked in as hizashi was giving aizawa some eraserHEAD if u know wat i mean. she crumbeled some paperwork into balls and threw them at mic and them stormed off.

“FILL THOSE OUT YA GODDAMN TWINK”

mic fillde out the paperwork with aizawas pen(is) and tehn tenderly cradeld aizawa in his arms (carefully cupping his nuts for protecktion of course) and got on the roomba he used insted of a car bc his gay ass never learned how 2 fuckin driev. “vrroom vroom bitch” he said as they sped away at a blistering pace of .005 mph from the hospital. “the ass-magnet 9000 is in motion fuckers!”

‘take me 2 taco bell” aizawa whined. “i hav some casual craigstlist sex solicitors to meet for dinner tonite”

“NO CASUAL CRAGESLIST SEX UNTIL U RECOVER FROM UR INJURIES!” hizashi screamed. “IM GONNA TAKE CARE OF U, U BIG SALTY BABY” hizashy was super mcfuckin gay for aizwa so watching him get fucked the hell up and then just want to immedetly get back on the plow horse (so to speak) and jump into th e casual craigslist sex wasnt fun.

hziashi did a sick ollie off his roomba and knocked the door down with his throbbing erection only to promptyl start sobbing when he got a dick splinter.

“u dum fuck thats wy u shoud go thru the door like a normal person” aizawa grumbled as he sucked out the dick splinter. “for fucking out loud even that 5 dollar thottie ALL MIGHT, SYMBOL OF PEACE TM goes thru doors like a normal person.” shouta thought for amoment. “well except for the one time at that christmas party in april,,”

“well YEAH but if i didnt kick down the door dick first wat kind of pro hero wold i be?” hizashi protested

“one wihtoout dick splinters”

“ya ok tru”

hizashy threw aizawa over his shoulder like a thicc sack of poatatos and caried him 2 his lightning mcqueen racecar bed where they made the sekcs for 35 seconds before aizawa fell asleep. mic, exhausted from the hwole dick splinter fiasco, fell aslep too, resting his head on shoutas soft pillowy ass.

he woke up the next morning when nemuri broke down his door and started kicking his ass “HIZASSHI YOU STUPID BITCH HO W D ARE U GET MARRIED WITHOUT ME????”

tensei, who had been wheeled in in a weelbarrow, slapped mic in the face with one of those rubber stretchy extendy hands that he carried around for that express purpose. “YEAH YOU WHORE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BRIDESMAID DAMMIT I ALREADY HAD MY OUTFIT ALL PICKED OUT I WAS GONNA WEAR THIS DANK ASS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG COSPLAY AND U FUCKERS R O B B ED ME OF MY HAPPINESS”

“wat in the fresh hell are u talkign about?” hizash asked confusedly.

tensei whipped out his rose gold iphone 69 and hsowed hiszashi a news report that said “THEY GAY BITCH” followed by a picture of mic and aizawa doin the scooby dooby doo on the hospital bed.

“Everyones shook af by the news that screme mcmeme, also known as president michael, and iceicezawa are married!” the report said. there was a picture of one of the paramedics mic had accidently murdered with his screaming. before dying she had apparently tweeted to the news and told them that mic had said YEAH when she asked if he was married to the patient shoota and so now everyone in the world new they were gay and thogth they were married!!!

some ppl like tensei and nemuri were happy (about the marriege anyway, in general tensei wasnt happy bc his twitter had got hacked and the entire internet could see his turbo-nudes and his ingeniDONG) but there were some bitch ass hos that were not plesed with this developement.

for example endevor had posted in the yuotube comments of a video entirely unrelated to the marraige thing “these daM hOME OF SEXAULS keep ruinging eeverything with their GAY AJENDA!!!! my son looked at a Gay once and hes fuckin gay now, thx oBamA!!111! THIS IS THE FUTERE LIBERALS WANT!11! present mic?? more like present CUCK!!1!”

hizashi dropped the phone. how was he gonna explain this to the internet? how was he gonna explain this to shouta?!?????

tune in next week for more fuckery, i can probably get this done in three chapters lol, if not three then DEFINITELY six, it sure would be wild if it ended up being nine chapters huh lamao

#bnha #erasermic #tag yourself im present cuck

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