#Aaron walks out 10 minutes later

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 24

PREVIOUS

“What do you MEAN Smithy is in the hospital with a stab wound to his stomach?!” Nicky’s own voice is agony for his hangover but honestly, how the fuck else was he supposed to respond when he had asked Andrew where FF was and gotten that as a response.

“Calm down.” Andrew says and he looks tired, looks stressed, and maybe even just…a touch nervous?

Nicky isn’t as good as Neil at reading Andrew Minyard. He doesn’t think anyone will ever be as fluent in the language of Andrew Minyard as Neil Josten but Nicky has picked up some key phrases.

He can see when he’s making a joke that is a step too far. He can see when his cousin wants to kiss Neil but is holding back. He can see when his cousin is stressed.

He can see a guilty curve to Andrew’s spine.

“Andrew, answer me honestly, did you stab my sweet baby freshman?” Nicky asks and he’s not sure if the nausea he feels anymore is from horror or from the sheer number of drinks he had put in his system the night before.

Roland usually cuts him off before he gets this level.

Roland also has a habit of pouring heavier when he’s stressed.

Roland also also tends to make complicated fruity drinks that Nicky likes when he’s stressed.

Andrew’s jaw tenses but it’s Neil who speaks up, “It was an accident. It happened during a fight.” Neil says and Nicky throws his hands up in the air.

“You got into a FIGHT with my sweet baby freshman? Sweet little Smithy? The boy who made brownies that made me feel kinda straight for a dead woman?!” Nicky exclaims and sees Andrew and Neil open their mouths to say something but, “I promised him that if he wanted I’d get him something hard that’d mess his GUTS up but this isn’t what I MEANT.” He lets himself collapse dramatically over the table.

“Nicky, shut up!” Kevin hisses from his spot on the couch.

“When the fuck did Kevin get here?!” Because seriously, how fucked up was Nicky last night that he doesn’t remember Kevin coming on this Columbia trip? Where’d he sit? He couldn’t really remember coming over after Thanksgiving. Had Andrew put Kevin in the trunk? Had Andrew put Nicky in the trunk?

“He came with Wymack.” Neil cut in before Nicky started testing reality. “Wymack is at the hospital since he’s…uh…he’s the…”

“Medical Power of Attorney” Andrew answers.

“Yes! Thank you, the Medical power of attorney for Smith. He needed surgery and Wymack wanted to be nearby in case he had to make any pressing decisions.” Neil explains and yeah that tracks, he knows a little bit about FF’s family and knows that aside from his grandma on his dad’s side the rest can go take a long walk off a short volcano observation platform

“Okay, that explains why Kevin is here….how?! Despite all of the unwarranted advice, Kevin is not a medical professional.” Nicky says before turning to Kevin, “So Kevin, what insane Exy-related reason are you here? Don’t lie and say it’s because you want to sign the get well soon card.” He hisses.

“Fuck you!” Kevin spits, “I need to know how long Smiths is going to be out of commission and what his PT is going to look like. He was supposed to be starting during the spring season.” Kevin growls.

“There it is!” Nicky throws up his hands.

“Nicky, just calm down!” Neil pleads.

“How can I stay calm? Andrew stabbed Smithy! So not only is my favorite freshman in the hospital Andrew’s going to end up back on those god forsaken meds again!” Nicky shouts and buries his face in his hands.

“Smith isn’t going to say that.” Andrew’s voice is calm but Nicky can hear the slight edge.

“Oh yeah?” Nicky asks because he could see FF promising to never mention who stabbed him if Andrew would just spare his life. FF was going to be even MORE of a disaster when it came to his anxiety around Andrew. Nicky wouldn’t be surprised if his friend just straight up dropped out after this. His cousin is safe but he’s absolutely going to lose his friend.

“Because he’s saying Romero Malcolm stabbed him.” Andrew finishes.

Nicky sits up.

“Wait, what?” Nicky asks.

“Last night Romero Malcolm was at Eden’s.” Neil says voice even in a way that lets Nicky know that he’s trying to stay calm, “Smith recognized him, heard he wanted to grab,” Neil swallows thickly, “…grab one of my friends and saw them looking at…” Neil trails off and looks to Andrew who shakes his head, “…around for someone to grab.” Neil seems to decide and Nicky knows when something is being hidden from him but he’s more interested in the story than what Neil is hiding at the moment, “He got Romero’s attention so that he wouldn’t do anything bad in Eden’s and let Roland know to call help. He went out alone into the alley but Romero didn’t follow him.” Neil explains.

“Oh thank god.” Nicky sighs.

“Because he’d alerted Jackson Plank was lying in wait to ambush him.” Neil continues.

“Oh dear god.” Nicky exclaims.

“He uh…” Neil looks to Andrew who shakes his head again, “okay we don’t know exactly HOW Smith managed to do it but he beat Jackson up pretty bad.” Neil explains.

Nicky feels his brain stop working.

He has watched FF trip over his own feet, walk into four different trees, and almost sprain his ankle walking across a flat surface. He knows FF has been watching self-defense videos and had even gotten some pointers from Matt but even Matt had told him his better bet was probably just to yell “WOW WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE?!”, point behind the attacker, and run as fast as humanly possible away from a fight.

Neil is still talking.

Nicky boots back up quickly.

“…a gun. He tackled Romero into Andrew and Andrew’s knife ended up in Smith’s stomach on accident while they were wrestling for the gun. Smith is the one who said he’s going to tell everyone who asks that it was Romero. He even said it to me.” Neil says with an awkward laugh.

“And you believed him.” Andrew says and there’s warmth in his cousin’s eyes as he looks at Neil and teases him.

“And I believed him.” Neil confirms.

“Okay, so you swear to me that you did not INTENTIONALLY stab my BFF?” Nicky asks looking at Andrew seriously.

“BFF, seriously?” Kevin asks.

“Best Freshman Friend.” Nicky answers quickly, “Don’t worry Kevin, you lose out to Matt in all regards for my Best Senior Friend.” He says.

Kevin just flips him off but Nicky turns his attention back to Andrew, “Andrew, I need to hear it.” He says .

“I did not intentionally stab Smith.” Andrew confirms.

Nicky lets the horrified nausea leave him with only his hangover nausea.

“Okay, we can work with that.”  Nicky leans back. “Have you heard from that Agent?” he asks looking at Neil.

Neil nods but then looks nervous and shoots a look towards Kevin, “The FBI is sending Browning and a field office agent to talk with us but…Ichirou also contacted me.” He says and Nicky watches as Kevin perks up.

“He did?!” Kevin squawks looking around like he expected the head of the Moriyama family to appear from the shadows.

“He wants to make sure we do our part to keep the Moriyama name out of this. He is going to deal with Romero and Jackson himself.” Neil says looking nervous.

Nicky clenches his eyes shut, “Well you’re not going to mention them right?” he hears Kevin ask.

“Of course not Kevin.” Nicky hears Andrew hiss.

“Good.” Kevin says.

There’s silence in the wake of Neil’s statement.

Nicky takes a deep breath and wishes his head was a little less agonizing. “Why aren’t we at the hospital to see Smithy?” he asks because he has nothing he can do about Ichirou so he may as well put it out of his mind.

There is some grumbling.

“Wymack said that he’ll just make us sit in the waiting room without any updates.” Neil says. “We’re picking up Smith’s grandma from the airport and she’s our ticket to getting an actual update beyond ‘not dead yet’ from Wymack.” He adds.

“What, you really can’t get updates without Wymack?” Nicky asks.

Andrew looks at Nicky and Nicky can’t read a single thing his cousin is thinking.

“What’s Smith’s first name Nicky.” Andrew asks.

“Oh God fucking Dammit.” Nicky’s head hurts too bad for this.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings

 @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themundanemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees  @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupandfries @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit @lesbian-blackbeard @lesbiansupernatural @silvermasquerade @thepeachfuzz @minniemariex @kazoo-the-demjin @gaypomegranate @ji-nk-ies @neilimfinejosten @omgrubelangel @itsyouitsmeorpheuseurydice @percabethotplove @cozyrosykay @foxyatlas​

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #I'm almost positive the next chapter will involve Grandma Smith actually #like 90% #Maybe even 95% #Aaron walks out 10 minutes later #Aaron: I feel like someone is stabbing me in the stomach #Nicky: You and Smithy both! #Aaron: ????????? #Neil: I think that it is too soon to make that joke #Andrew: At least give it 24 hours Nicky #Andrew: He might still be in surgery for all we know #Aaron: !!!!!?????? #Kevin: I've been researching and it could be 4-6 weeks before Smith can be back on the Court. #Kevin: At least he'll only really miss 2 fall season games and he should be healed up by the time we start the spring season games #Aaron: What the FUCK happened and why is KEVIN here? #Andrew: We're not explaining it again figure it out yourself #GS is in the air right now #She's got a middle seat because it was a last minute booking #But the young man next to her is a real sweetheart #He speaks polish! what a small world #AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG AU #My Fics #Andreil #Fluent Freshman - Part 24

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Aaron Hotchner X Daughter reader

Just watched Mayhem and couldn't get this idea out of my head.

Summary: Aaron still suffers from acute sensitivity to sound, his 10 year old daughter finds him in the kitchen curled up while the fire alarm rings.

Set during season 4 after Mayhem

Third person pov...

Aaron Hotchner had a day off work as the Man was still recovering from the explosion in New York from their last case, he had planned to spend the day with his daughter.

When Haley decided to divorced him she got full custody of Jack and Hotch got full custody of their Daughter Y/N, of course the girl gets to see her mum and brother most of thr week when her Dad is working.

As the Man wonders downstairs he starts to make pancakes usually pancakes are for special occasions, but he guesses that this day calls for pancakes.

As he makes the batter and grabs a pan he turns the stove on and pours the pancake batter in, then he waits for it to cook.

As he waits his mind wonders back to the explosion and how it also costed him his hearing, suddenly the fire alarm is going off and he could smell something burning.

The man cries out and grabs hisbear, he could hear a high pitched squeal, he can only sit on the floor wishing for the pain to go away he can't even move to turn the stove off.

"Daddy!" Yell his daughter as she comes sprinting down the stairs hearing the fire alarm going off, for the man everything is muffled apart from the ringing in his ears.

The 10 year old eyes widening as she sees her Dad curled up on the floor the usual calm and strong man who let nothing get him down reduced to the man on the floor covering his head in pain almost crying.

"Daddy! Are you okay?" She exclaims yelling over the fire alarm that was still going off, she runs to the stove ans turns off the gas, she then takes the pan off ans putting it on the counter.

Then runs to open a window to let the smoke out and hoping the alarm will turn off soon.

After she does that she runs over and crouches infront of her Dad the man's hands hadn't moved from his head, the girl tries to get his attention but its like he couldn't hear her.

His face was screwed up in pain, the girl didn't know what to do shebhad never seen her Daddy like this before, then she sees his phone on the table and grabs it, she whipes her tears and stands up.

She then dials her Uncle Dave the rest of the team would be at the BAU hopefully not on a case. When the call finally connects she almost sobs in relief at her Uncle's voice.

She eyes her Dad in the corner of her vision. "Hey Hotch, wha- Uncle Dave! It's Daddy!" Yells the H/C girl interrupting thr man. "Y/N? What's happend?" Asks the worried Uncle.

"It's Daddy, he's on the floor covering his head, the fire alarm is going off Uncle Dave please hurry" she cries to the man tears now falling from her E/C eyes.

She tries to steady her breathing as she waits for his answer. "Of course Sweetie, I will be there soon" Y/N ends the call and holds the phone in her hand.

She then walks back over to her Dad,he hadn't moved from his position, she kneels on the tiled floor and looks at him, the man looks tired and had bags under his eyes.

She cries more "Oh daddy" she whispers, she then runs to the living room and grabs a soft pillow and blanket, she then runs back to the kitchen almost falling over she kneels again infront of her Dad.

The 10 year old then tries to wrap the blanket around her Dad so he wouldn't be cold and leans his body so he was laying on the pillow, Y/N then kisses his cheek. "It's okay Daddy I'm here" she whispers hoping to comfort him.

10 minutes later the door opens Y/N looks up and runs to the hall she tries to smile when she sees the team standing there.

She runs over to her Uncle ans hugs him tight. "Uncle Dave your here, Daddy is in the kitchen, I couldn't move him Uncle" she cries as the Man picks her up and hugs her tightly.

"Hey guys over here" Calls Morgan from the kitchen, the team wonders in and sees their fearless leader on the floor covered in a blanket and pillow on the floor.

Rossi looks at the child in his arms. "Was that your doing N/N" he asks making the girl nod and sniffle. " 'Was trying to help him" she mumbles watching as Morgan and Emily help her Dad stand up.

JJ then wonders over to Y/N, she smiles kindly at the girl. "Hey sweetie can you tell us what happened?" She asks, Y/N nods her head.

Her Daddy is taken into the living room Reid picks up the pillow and blanket and follows them in. The 10 year old hugs her uncle's neck as she answers JJ.

"I was sleeping when I heard the fire alarm going off, but Daddy didn't do anything to stop it so I came down and saw him curled up on the floor" she mumbles fresh tears coating her vision.

JJ smiles and thanks her before walking off to tell the others, Rossi rubs a hand up and down her back Comforting the child. "Heys it's okay, you did a great job looking after your dad" he says.

The man looks around the kitchen and saw the pancake batter and the pan with burnt pancake in. He then sits Y/N down on a chair and walks to the stove the fire alarm had long turned off.

The man then begins making Y/N the breakfast she was susposed to have, once the girl had eaten Hotch had woken up.

As Y/N finishes of her pancake JJ walks in a smiles at Y/N, the girl finishes of the pancake in the her mouth before asking about her Dad. "Is Daddy okay?" She asks them woman.

JJ smiles. "Yes he's awake now want to go see him?" Asks JJ already knowing the answer, the girl jumps from her chair and runs to the living room.

"Daddy!" She cries running and jumping onto thr sofa where he was laying on, Hotch then wraps his arms around his daughter. "I'm sorry I worried you so much sweetie" he whispers into her hair as she cried.

The man comforts his daughter as his team surrounds them. "Thank you" he tells them making them smile at the Dad and Daughter.

The end!

Hope you liked thus oneshot, sorry for the grammar and Spelling mistakes!

Request are open!

Word count: 1171

#criminal minds #fanfic #behavioural analysis unit #x child reader #fluff and comfort #oneshot #light angst #x daughter!reader #father daughter fluff #aaron hotchner x child! reader #aaron hotchner x daughter!reader #season 4 #aaron hotchner #acute sensitivity to sound #criminal minds season 4

[14buddy22]

I'll Spend the Rest of My Life Making It Up To You Series

A/N: Part 9! Well - it's over, I hope you like the ending :)

Warnings: Have been the same throughout the story :)

Prev Part // Series Masterlist // Masterlist

After a long talk with Aaron when you got home from your in-laws house, you felt better. He kept telling you it wasn’t your fault and as long as you were okay with it, they could work something out where Bob and Carol would still be allowed to see Mason, just as long as Jake wasn’t around.

You didn’t realize how fast your court date would come. A lot of prep, a lot of crying, a lot of hugs from Aaron. A lot of comfort from Mason and Jack. 

Sleepless nights. Lots of them. 

You were up at 2am, sitting on the couch, watching a movie, not able to sleep. Court was the next morning at 9am. Luckily not a 7 or 8am start, so you could have time to be with the boys before you had to go relieve the traumatic events of your life. 

While sitting on the couch, you didn’t expect Aaron to come out of his room, wide awake. 

“Did I wake you up?”

“No. God, no. I just couldn’t sleep.”

You looked at him and chuckled. You moved the blanket off of you and said, “I couldn’t sleep either. Come sit, we can watch a movie together.”

You were falling in love with Aaron. You never really fell out of love with him to begin with. You had to on the outside, but deep within, you knew your heart always belonged with Aaron. Maybe he felt the same, maybe he didn’t. If he hadn’t left you, there wouldn’t be Haley, and there certainly wouldn’t be Jack. He loves him with everything he has. 

You were taken out of your thoughts as his body slid right next to yours, the blanket finding it’s way over both of you. He was your comfort person. You think he always was. Aaron and of course, Mason. They were your comfort people. And now, you’d be adding Jack into that mix of comfort people. 

At one point in your life, you did find comfort in Jake. But that was only a short amount of time 10 years ago. You found comfort in Jake when you were upset about your broken engagement with Aaron. Jake should have just been a rebound, a hookup at most, how’d you let it get this bad?

“Y/n, you know none of this is your fault. Right? Whatever happens in court, they’re gonna blame you, they’re gonna make you seem like you could’ve gotten out.”

“Could’ve gotten out? Jesus Christ, Aaron! He would have killed me! I think he still would if we weren’t gonna be in court surrounded by cops and the FBI. He almost beat me to death with my son in the house.”

You started crying. You were furious, upset. As you went to pull away from Aaron, he pulled you closer next to him, giving you a tight squeeze. 

“Hey, shh, shh. It’s okay. I’m not saying you could’ve left because I know what he did to you. I read the letters, y/n, trust me. I know. I believe you, hell, I saw what he did to you. I’m just telling you, I worked in court, I handled cases like this, I’ve been in the FBI for too long to know that victims of domestic abuse sometimes don’t always win in court and they end up dying 2 weeks later because their abuser kills them. I’m sure as hell not letting that happen. Whatever happens, we will adjust. If he gets off free, then we’ll play it by year.” 

“Try and get some sleep. Mason will be up in a bit for a bottle, you’ll need to get some sleep for court. Come on. Just close your eyes.”

You didn’t realize that sleeping with Aaron, even on his couch, would be a comfy place for you, some where you’d get your best sleep since the last time you slept with him. 

You awoke the next morning to the smell of breakfast and kids laughing. When you walked into the kitchen, you saw Aaron sitting with the kids at the table, he was feeding Mason and Jack was eating breakfast. 

“Good morning!”

Jack got up from his spot to hug you and you smiled at Aaron. 

“Eat, then get dressed. Jessica’s coming to pick up Jack in 15 minutes. I already showered this morning when I got up with Mason.”

“Did you take the baby monitor from me last night?”

“I did. I wanted you to sleep. Mason got up at 7, I was already up by then.”

Mason wasn’t his son and Aaron was being an amazing father to Mason than Jake ever was. You were lucky you met Aaron all those years ago. You didn’t think you’d be in this situation, you were sure you were going to marry Aaron, but life works in mysterious ways. 

After a morning with the boys, saying goodbye to Jack, getting Mason ready then getting yourself dressed, then making sure Aaron had some time to get dressed as well. It was weird to see him dressed for court, especially when it was your case that he was going to court for. 

He grabbed the diaper bag and he said, “Let’s go.” As you all got in Aaron’s car, you couldn’t help but have a silent car ride there. Just the sound of Mason’s soft snores, Aaron’s hand finding yours in your lap. 

Everything went by in slow motion. Walking into the court house, meeting with your attorney, seeing Aaron’s team there. Some of them going to testify. Walking into the courtroom, seeing Jake.

It felt good knowing today was the day you were going to be getting out of this relationship for good. At least you were hoping you would. You saw Jake sitting with his lawyer. He saw you walke in with Mason and Aaron and your lawyer. Part of you felt bad that Jake couldn’t hold his son, but he had a chance to turn his life around with you. He could have gotten better, you think part of him could. Wait, what were you thinking?. You keep going back to him, you shouldn’t. He hurt you. 

Aaron took Mason out of the carrier and you said, “He’s got extra diapers in there, he really likes his strawberry and banana puffs.”

“Y/n/n, I know. You’ve been living with me for a month. I got this. Just worry about the trial. We’re right behind you.” 

You gave him a soft smile and whispered a thank you. You kissed Mason and then you took a seat at the table. 

Court doesn’t appear like it does in TV shows or movies. There are much more boring moments, you see everything. The judge introducing himself, him talking to the members of the jury about what their roles are, the attorneys introducing themselves, who they are defending, the whole nine yards. 

You watched people go up one by one testifying for you. Then you went up to the stand, and that’s where the madness begins. Putting the victim on the stand, no, not victim, survivor. 

Brian said, “On the stand is Ms. Y/n Y/l/n,”

“Please. Call me Y/n.”

“Y/n, is it true you wrote a series of letters to your past lover, Aaron Hotchner, when you were engaged and married to Jake?”

“Yes, but those were letters I never sent. It was my escape from reality.”

“I’d like to take look at this letter.”

They started reading the letters from when you first met Jake, to when you got engaged to your wedding night. You watched how the jury was reacting. There was one woman who was silently crying. You saw her wipe her cheek. She wasn’t crying enough for everyone to notice, but it was enough to know that what you went through did hurt outsiders looking in. 

Brian handed you a letter and said, “Y/n, why don’t you read this one.”

You held the letter and began reading, 

“Aaron, Well, I don’t know how to say it so I’m just going to say it. I’m pregnant. Yep. I just found out while in my bathroom. I hadn’t felt good these past couple of days, so I decided to take a pregnancy test. You know I’ve always wanted children, but I never wanted children with Jake. I wanted to have children with you. I don’t even know if Jake wants children. Abortion is an option, but I don’t want to get one. I’ve always wanted children and to be a mom and this might be my only chance. The thing is, when this baby was conceived, it wasn’t even conceived out of love. Jake was mad at me. He basically fucked his fustrations out on me. I just have to lay there like I’m some type of sex doll, and I hate it. If I were to tell him no, he’d hit me. So I have to live with this. I’m sorry I hadn’t seen you in a while, it was for the best. Well, for you. Maybe not for me. I’m hoping that when I tell Jake, he’ll be so happy. Maybe he’ll turn around, no longer hit me or abuse me. I hope you and Jack are doing well.”

Aaron was sat with Mason on the benches behind the table where you were supposed to be seated. Derek and Dave both on his sides. His friend had stood up while you were on the stand and said, “Your honor, right now, we’d like to show the court and members of the jury direct evidence of the final piece of physical abuse that Ms. Y/L/N sustained from Jake.”

You looked at Aaron, eyes looking back at yours. He didn’t know what was going on. He thought you gave him every piece of evidence you had against Jake. He looked at you, what hurt you the most was that you never showed this to Aaron. You weren’t about to cry because of the trauma you endured with Jake, but you were getting ready to cry because you saw that Aaron’s heart was gonna break.

Your attorney said, “People of the court, members of the court, people of the jury, I do want to give you a warning that what you see in this video is a heinous act. There will be blood, yelling, etc.”

Dave whispered to Aaron, “Why don’t you go outside and take Mason for a walk.”

“No. No. I’m not leaving her alone. It’s fine. I can control myself. I’m a profiler, Dave. I’m a Unit Chief. I can control my emotions.”

Aaron was cut off by the sound of your voice coming from the video. 

The video had shown you downstairs coming to greet Jake. You had secretly propped your phone up on the counter, hoping to catch him in the act of one of the most disgusting things a man could do to a woman. You wanted to catch him, that way it wouldn’t be hear-say. You know since you’ve seen shows about it, but you also know because your father-in-law was a successful attorney. 

Watching the video up at the stand, you couldn’t help but flinch when the first hit happened. It all comes flooding back to you at once. You had gone to see Aaron. Came back home and Jake flipped. 

When you looked over at Aaron, you saw the tears rolling down his face. How he held Mason tighter, shielding Mason into his chest so Mason couldn’t see. You’ve never seen Aaron this heartbroken before. You hated that you couldn’t hold him in your arms and tell him you’re okay. 

You’d lie to Aaron and tell him that it didn’t hurt, even when it was one of the most painful things you went through. This was one video of abuse, but you had been abused for 10 years prior to this one video clip.

Aaron whispered to Dave, “I could kill him right now. Dave, this is the night I picked her up. She called me after this. Had I known he would’ve done this.”

“Relax, Aaron. Relax.”

Dave put his hand on Aaron’s back, telling him to calm down, don’t make a scene with a baby in his hands.

Looking at Aaron’s face, you saw the anger, the hurt, the guilt, sadness. You saw every emotion he was going through. You didn’t miss the way he wiped his tears away and you certainly didn’t miss the way that your son had saw him upset and leaned into him, and patted his stomach. 

Mason was amazing, he always knew how to calm people down, even if he was just a baby. He was a great profiler, maybe deep down, the universe needed Mason to be like Aaron and you. Maybe Mason was the the baby you and Aaron were meant to have all those years ago. 

You decided to shake the thought. You couldn’t think about them right now. You had a case to win. You wanted justice to be served. You wanted to show everyone who is in an abusive relationship that it’s okay to get out. 

Aaron watched as the video ended, you quickly grabbing the phone, catching a glimpse of your face and the blood running down. He made eye contact with you, whispering an “I’m sorry.”

Brian said, “That’s all, your honor.”

Jake’s lawyer stood up and said, “We have no questions, your honor.”

The judge told you that you could step down and you walked back to sit down at your seat. The judge dismissed the jury and you walked over to hug Aaron. 

Rossi said, “We got sandwiches in a break room. Come on, let’s go have lunch.”

“I’m going to go change Mason and freshen up in the bathroom, okay?”

You took Mason from Aaron and walked into the bathroom, you changed his diaper and fixed your make up. Walking out, you saw Jake. 

“Y/n, please. Let them drop the charges. I’m gonna change. I’ve started going to therapy. I want to raise our son. Look how big he’s gotten.”

“No Jake, you had 10 years to change, and you didn’t. It only got worse.”

Aaron said, “Rossi, the last time he hit her.”

“Um. Aaron, I think we got bigger problems right now.”

Rossi nodded his head towards where you were and Aaron started walking towards you, Jake, and Mason. Rossi following right behind him. 

“You’re not supposed to talk to her.”

“Aaron Hotchner. What a man. This is the guy who left you?”

“Jake, just drop it. Go with your lawyer, I’m going with mine.”

Jake stepped closer and said, “Is she as good in bed as when you first had her? I worked her open for you, turned her into a whore.”

“Don’t speak about her like that.”

“You know, you won. You got her back, you get my son, you won.”

“Good, because you never deserved her. You never deserved her love, affection, for her to be the mother of your child. You never deserved for her to even look at you. She trusted you and you hurt her. You’re a monster and I’m glad your son isn’t going to be around you.”

Jake took a step back and you walked over to Aaron. You started to pull Aaron towards Rossi and Aaron stopped. 

“You know, I didn’t deserve to win either, I broke her heart and me breaking her heart led her to you. And you put her through so much hell, Jake. But this wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me. But I’m damn sure gonna spend the rest of my life making it up to her and fixing what you broke. So you know what, I’m glad I won. I’m gonna protect her and Mason from monsters like you.”

Aaron put his hand on your back and you guys walked into the break room. Aaron’s team was playing with Mason and you just sat with him on the couch. Taking everything in. How did Aaron say he didn’t deserve you? Why the hell would Jake even approach Aaron. 

There was a knock on the door, Brian came in and said, “The jury has made a decision.”

“That’s good, right Aar?”

“That’s quick for a jury. Hopefully it is good.”

As everyone got seated back in the courthouse, they went through the usual spiel that you watch on TV shows. The first juror stands and responds back to the judge. Here it is, the verdict. 

“We find the defendant, guilty, on all counts your honor.”

You began to cry. You had won. This battle was over. You’ve won custody of Mason, Jake was going to jail, he would never touch another girl like what he put you through again.

You hugged Brian and then hugged Aaron and Mason. Aaron kissed your cheek and you took Mason. You told Brian you wanted to see Jake before they took him away. 

You walked over to Jake’s table with Mason and Jake said, “I’m sorry for what I did to you Y/n, you didn’t deserve any of it. I know you’re going to be a great mom to Mason. You already are. And Aaron, I can see why you were still in love with him when we first met in that bar 11 years ago. He loves you, don’t let him go. You deserve him after what I did to you. I’m sorry. Can I-can I kiss my son goodbye?”

You looked over at Aaron and he was watching you. You told Jake to sit down and you walked next to him and placed Mason in his arms. Aaron got closer to where you were standing and Rossi pulled him back. Rossi said, “She’s got this Aaron. Let her do this. Let her get some closure.”

“Goodbye Mason, Be good. You’re very lucky to have an amazing mom. Very lucky to have a good dad from here on out.”

Jake kissed Mason on his head and you took Mason back. “Goodbye Jake.”

You walked away. Closing that chapter of your life, opening the next with Aaron. As you went home that evening, Aaron inviting the team over for dinner, letting the kids all hang out, you were cuddled into Aaron. 

Penelope said, “So, now that this is all over, does this mean you two are getting back together again?”

Aaron said, “We’re not in a rush, whatever happens, happens.”

After everyone had gone home, Jack gone to sleepover with Henry at JJ’s house, Mason put to bed, you sat in front of Aaron’s fire place with him. The soft glow of the fire going with the lights you had hung up.

“I’m proud of you, for ending the cycle of abuse. I’m sorry I broke your heart all those years ago, I was scared. I was scared of marrying my best friend, having children with her, and growing old with her. I knew all your deepest darkest secrets. I knew your biggest insecurities and I treated you like shit. You didn’t deserve that, y/n. I am so, so sorry.”

“Did you really mean what you said to Jake? That you didn’t deserve to win?”

“Yeah, because I didn’t. Jake nor I didn’t deserve you.”

“No, you deserve me because I deserve you. I don’t know any other man in this world that would drop everything he had going on in his life to help an ex-fiance. You let me move into an apartment with my 6 month old son at the time.”

“I told you I was going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I meant it.”

You leaned into Aaron for a kiss. His hand cupping your face. It was a soft, beautiful kiss. It wasn’t long before you and him found yourself stripping your clothes and mkaing love right in front of the fire place. The last time you had made love instead of had sex had been two weeks before your engagement had ended. It was your anniversary with Aaron. There was something meaningful with Aaron, and you had it even after all these years. 

*3 months later*

Things were great. You had a successful teaching job, Mason was thriving, Jack was a great son, and Aaron was amazing. Your little family was great. Aaron wasn’t officially your husband but you were all living together. You and Aaron bought a beautiful house, Derek helped renovate it to make it your dream home. 

You were celebrating Mason’s birthday. He was a year old. It was scary to think that just a year ago, you were in an abusive relationship, giving birth to a baby, alone. Now, you were surrounded by Aaron and Jack and amazing friends and family. What you never thought about was how Mason’s birthday was the day that you wanted to marry Aaron all those years ago. 

You never thought about it until Aaron brought it up to you last month. Mason took very well to Aaron, started calling him dada. It brought tears to Aaron’s eyes, he never knew that Mason and you could fill the void in his heart when Haley passed and when he left you. Jack was amazing and he loved Jack so much, but there was something about adding another child, one that wasn’t biologically his, into the mix. 

Aaron said, “If you’ll clean up, I’ll go get him cleaned up and into his PJs?”

“Sounds good, Aar.”

You watched him walk away and upstairs with Mason. Jack helped you clean up. He was such a great helper with Mason. He was an amazing big brother. You were hoping you could make him a big brother to more siblings, but that would come later down the road, only if Aaron wanted more.

Rossi said, “There’s my baby boy! Look how cute he looks.”

Rossi read his shirt and Mason said, “Mama!”

You turned around and Aaron was walking behind Mason. You knelt to the floor to hug Mason and Mason pointed to his shirt. 

“Will you marry, Daddy?”

You looked up at Aaron and watched as he knelt down to the ground. You held Mason by you and then Jack came to yourside. You were with Aaron and he held out an engagement ring. 

“We’ve been through a lot Y/n, in 20 years, more than anyone else has been through. I’m asking you to marry me, but I’m in no rush to have the big white wedding. I want you to be Mrs. Hotchner. I wanted you to be that 20 years ago, but I was a coward because you were a powerful woman, knowing what you want. I should have stuck with you. You went through hell and back and hell and back just to get where we are today. Let me make it up to you for the rest of my life. I love you, Jack loves you, so, will you marry me?”

“Absolutely I will.”

Aaron slipped the ring on your finger and you put your hands on his face. Pulling him into a kiss. Jack hugged you and Mason hugged him. Your little family was complete. You were so proud of getting out of your relationship with Jake. You and Mason deserved a happy life with Jack and Aaron. You were so proud that this was the outcome you had. 

If there’s ever a doubt in your mind that you deserve better, you do, and you go find it. 

“When it comes to abuse, you believe there’s no way out. There is always help. There is always a way out.” – Donna Mulvey

Tags: @8crazy-freak8 @angelmather1 @rousethemouse @lex13cm @mrs-ssa-hotch @comfortzonequeen

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x single mom!reader #jack hotchner #restofmylifeseries

[lemonadeinfuser]

Into You - Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Season 4, Episode 9 “Pickup” - Reader is in place of Emily in the first scene, then she goes in alongside Emily later on (part 2) as bait, instead of Jordan (mostly because I hate Jordan lol)

Thank you so so much to @cerisereids for the prompt, and to @ilikw for bringing it to my attention!! I hope i did it justice!

“I’m so into you, I can barely breathe”

As you stepped into the sleazy bar, you suddenly became very hyper aware that you were the only female in a few-mile radius who wasn’t wearing a low cut something-or-another. You trailed close behind Morgan and Hotch, as you all made your way to the monologuing misogynist hidden away in the back corner of the bar. Viper’s voice carried through the air- saying something that, you’re sure would’ve made your blood boil, had you been paying any attention- his poisonous eyes landing on you and smirking. A shiver went down your spine as you subtly shifted your gaze over to Hotch, who was watching Viper intently- but his eyes softened when he glanced back at you. “Agent, you alright?” You nod, avoiding his gaze as Viper finishes talking- in fear of your cheeks flushing if you look directly into Hotch’s eyes again. You feel his gaze on you, until it shifts and you instead look up as Viper walks towards the three of you.

“So, what, you think this guy, this unsub took one of my classes?” “He copied your ‘the camera adds 10 pounds' routine verbatim.” Hotch replies. Viper smirks. “Yeah, that’s a good gag.” You bring your eyes up to meet him, speaking for the first time, “If you could just give us your attendance lists, it might help us find him.”

Viper toys with it for a minute, before a defiantly sassy “No.” “No?” You repeat. “My clients expect a certain amount of confidentiality. I won’t compromise that.” Hotch then continues to banter with him about warrants, then something about outwitting “alpha males like you” to Morgan before you speak up, “What club were you at last night?” Hotch’s jaw has been clenched slightly this whole time- he shouldn’t have had you come along on this particular questioning. With every passing second, he became less and less in control of his actions, as jealousy clouded his judgment. The way that that man was looking at you, all that he wanted to do was grab your waist and show that stupid snake man who you really belong to. But, no, you weren’t even his, regardless of how inappropriate that would be if you were. He grins, very obviously checking you out as his eyes travel up and down your body. “It’s a legitimate question.” Derek counters, watching his body language.” “Firstly, How many times do you have to rely on your badge to score, baldy? Secondly-” He turns to Hotch, standing opposite you while Morgan follows him intently with his eyes. “Here, in this harsh light, you may have the advantage..” Viper suddenly takes a step towards you, inching his face so close you can smell the tobacco on his breath, “But meet me on my turf, and ohoho, the things I could make you do..”

A flame erupts inside you, wanting more than anything to cuss him out- but a tall figure is in front of you before you get the chance to respond. Hotch’s voice rang out, cold as he passed the man a business card. “Call us with any questions. And, if you do, I can be certain that if you talk to my agent like that again, it won’t end this peacefully.” You could hear the anger in Aaron’s voice, and you scoffed. As if you couldn’t fucking protect yourself. You feel Derek’s hand on your shoulder, indicating towards the exit. “You okay, blondie?” You shake your head, muttering under your breathe, “All he sees me as is a fucking child, I can protect myself.” Derek furrows his brows slightly, letting you walk to the SUV ahead as he lays back and walks in pace with Hotch. “How much longer are you going to pretend that you don't want to kiss her, boss man?” He winks at Hotch, before hopping in the passengers seat. Hotch’s hands clench the wheel as he drives. That stupid guy. The things that I could do to him, I’d make him regret ever letting his filthy face near her’s. She needs my protection, she hasn’t learned how to calmly react yet, that’s it, she’s new, that’s why I want to protect her. His eyes flick up and find yours in the backseat, as you sit there with your arms crossed, quickly shaking your head and looking out the window when you feel his eyes on you. Every fucking time. He never lets you stand up for yourself, never lets you fight back, half the time he finds an excuse to make you stay out of the unsub crime scenes. Who the fuck was he to defend you? His stupid, handsome face.. Morgan observes you both with a slight smirk, shooting a text to his baby girl that says something along the lines of “I think Blondie and Hotch may finally realize something’s up between them.”

“Been waiting, and waiting for you, to make a move”

As soon as the SUV pulls into the Georgia Field Office, Hotch gets out, with a curt “Agent. My office, now.” before slamming the car door behind him. You grumble and shoot an angry look in his direction, before following him into the Field office, and into his makeshift headquarters. As soon as the door shuts behind you, you start, “Do you not think I’m strong enough for this team, sir?” He sits down, folding his hands and watching you intently as you pace. “I do.” “Is there something weak about me? Do I not make it clear that I know how to deal with suspects and criminals?” “I do not see you as weak, and I certainly know your ability to argue-” You interrupt him, “Then what, sir, what is it? Every damn time, you just cut in front of me as if I’m your daughter or something, I mean, come on, I know I’m younger than you but I-” “That isn’t why I do it, you haven’t worked here long enough to get your footing yet, I’ve done it with Prentiss, Reid, when they first started-” “Then why do they look so surprised every time? It’s like I’m some special pearl, I can only ask questions but never actually interrogate or go catch unsubs-” You’re both yelling by now, and Hotch has stood up and made his way towards you, “Agent, I do not appreciate your tone with me right now.” “Well I don’t appreciate your- your- your weird, jealous, overprotective-” Your stop, chest heaving as he towers over you. You thought he would be angry, on the verge of dismissing you, but instead, his eyes have gone soft as he gazes down at you. Suddenly, you feel his lips on yours. You’re kissing your boss, and it feels so beautiful, so good, so right, as he wraps his arms around your waist and you bring yours around his neck. He pulls away, immediately trying to step back, sputtering apologies, but you grab his hands and kiss him again, with more passion than before. He gives in, for a moment, but pulls away firmly after a few more seconds, and as quickly as it had happened it was over. “Tha, uhm, that will be all, Agent. Thank you” Hotch says breathlessly, motioning towards the door as he resumes his seat at the paint-chipped desk.

Well, fuck.

“A little bit scandalous, but baby, don’t let them see it..”

Keep your eyes peeled for part 2…only if it’s wanted, that is ;) Also on AO3 under the same name!! i’m @/pumpkinspicedtheatre on there :)

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #bau team #spencer reid #criminal minds hotch #criminal minds fanfiction #cm fanfiction #criminal minds incorrect #derek morgan #criminal minds fic #fanfiction #em writes #writing

[gothamslostboy]

Hi me again! Could I request Spencer Reid x trans male reader (ftm) with the prompts

“Please stay” and “It’s cold when your gone”

Where the 2 r js cuddling bc some asshole at y/ns work said some shit abt him being trans

Maybe a bit of making out but fs like kisses

Ty luv 🫶

- 🦭

A/N: hey 🦭, thank you for my first ever Spencer Reid request! This was a great experience to write and I hope you like it:]

Meliorism

WORDS: 850

MELIORISM (n.) the belief that the world gets better; the belief that humans can improve the world

Spencer Reid x FTM reader

SPENCER YOU

Spencer had 3 main amazing talents. His eidetic memory, which allowed him to recall the tiniest visual details of the things he sees, even if briefly. Reid could also read 20,000 words a minute, finishing books that would take a regular person multiple days in only a few hours. These are well known about Spencer, but, his third talent is something only you’ve experienced. He has the ability to read your emotions perfectly.

If he hadn’t already explained that the ability to be a genuine mind reader would require factors that don’t exist in our world, you would’ve been sure he was one. No matter how insignificant the feeling, Dr. Spencer Walter Reid knew you felt it. So it was no suprise when he was already at the door when you arrived home, scooping you into a hug and kissing your forehead.

Daniel said something again didn’t he? You know, even after one transphobic comment the U.S Equal Employment Opportunity Commission says that he can be fired. I’m sorry he does this Y/N, you deserve better. You let out a small chuckle as he continues to ramble about different papers and documents he’s read that could help. Just knowing how much Spencer wants to help makes the hurt you feel evaporate away for a bit.

I’m gonna be ok Spence, it just hurts to hear those things. Especially because he was a work friend before he found out I’m trans. You broke away from the hug to shrug the burgundy coat off your body, placing it on the coat rack before grabbing Spencer’s hand & walking towards your shared bedroom. I know Y/N, but you’re just too great of a guy to have to put up with hateful speech. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I just want to lay down and watch a show, is Star Trek alright? He smiles, matching the small one on your face as he nods.

Sounds perfect! Did you know that Star Trek actually has very little physics mistakes? Considering the time it was- Spencer’s phone rings, cutting off a rant you were honestly interested in hearing. He answers, the corners of his mouth dropping back down as he exhales. He nods his head a few times before excusing himself to the person on the other end of the phone. Sorry Hotch, just a moment. You’re now back to feeling the same disappointment you had earlier, Aaron only calls after 6:00pm when there’s a case.

Y/N, im so sorry, Reid cups your face with his left hand. There’s a briefing for a case, we leave early tomorrow. Please stay. You lean your face into his hand even more. I know it’s selfish, but I just don’t want to be alone…. Its not selfish. A quiet silence fills the moment. Spencer examines you for a second before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He guides you onto the bed, pulling off your shoes and turning on Star Trek. He exits the room and moves the phone back to his ear. You sigh, knowing that the case is important or he would’ve stayed.

Surprisingly, Spence re enters about 10 minutes later, with waters and your favorite snack. I thought- I can read the case files on the flight tomorrow. There’s more than enough time and Hotch said he’d fill me in on any other information needed. You hug his side as he sits down, pulling yourself close enough to rest your head on his shoulder as you watch the show. Thank you Spence. It’s better when you’re here, the house is so cold when I’m alone. He turns your head to face his, you come first Y/N, always.

Both leaning in for a slightly intense kiss, time passes and you realize 1 and 1/2 episodes have played in the background. You two had got so caught up in eachother that the tv noise had been completely forgotten. Spencer shares one more peck, before turning back to the screen. I thought you just wanted to lay down and watch a show? We haven’t done very much of that have we? A snicker escapes you as your eyes roll playfully.

Alright, I know. You’ve seen this show a hundred times- 68 and 3/5ths. Reid beams at you as you raise an eyebrow. Ok, you’ve seen this show 68 & 3/5ths times, what’s happened so far in this episode?

He begins to tell you all the needed context for the episode, and then some extra. You lean back against his shoulder and you two hold the hands closest to eachother, the horrible day of work completely forgotten.

Spencer tended to do that. He made all your bad days turn into good ones. You knew no matter how many people tried to hurt you, to tear away your happiness, that people like Spencer Reid existed. People who spend everyday trying to fix this broken world. You knew that meeting Spencer and falling in love with him was the luckiest thing a guy like you could do.

#glb fan fiction #criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds spencer reid #cm spencer reid #spencer reid cm #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid x trans reader #spencer reid x reader #cm reid #reid cm #male reader #criminal minds fan fiction #spencer reid request #trans reader #ftm reader #glb requests #🦭 anon

[aew-kun-age-regression]

"Rossi to the rescue.."

Pairings: Caregiver!Aaron Hotchner X Little!Reader (+ David Rossi + Jack Hotchner)

Summary: Hotch can't cook, good thing Rossi can, right?

Warnings: none <3

A/N - Wrote this on the bus, turns out the bus is the only time I seem to have any motivation to write. 😂

@lunalovegood134

‼️THIS IS NOT NSFW‼️

.

.

.

NOT Proofread

.

.

.

The BAU for once had a day off and were currently all enjoying their day.

You and Jack were currently sat next to each other, the two of you colouring quietly whilst a colourful show played in the background.

Aaron was situated in the kitchen, trying to figure out how he was able to mess up the food he was trying to make the three of you for dinner.

Hotch let out a sigh of defeat and picked up his phone, calling Rossi.

"Hi..."

"Aaron..? Is there a case?"

"well no..?"

"no?"

"no.."

"so can i ask if there's a specific reason why you are calling..?"

"well I kinda messed up dinner.."

"oh?"

"yea... do you think you could maybe- come over and help cook?"

Rossi chuckled, pridefully and agreed. "I'll be there in 10."

Hotch hung up the phone and walked back into the living room where you and Jack were still colouring.

True to his word, about 10ish minutes later there was a knock at the door and Hotch got up and let Rossi in who quickly said hello to you and Jack before both men went into the kitchen to this time successfully make a meal suitable for dinner.

It took roughly 45 minutes to make what Hotch thought to be a simple pasta dish thanks to Rossi's expertise.

You all sat down at the table and ate peacefully, You, Jack, Aaron and Rossi.

Hotch was incredibly grateful that Rossi had come over, making dinner. Stopping the three of you from order take away for dinner again..

Rossi to the rescue-

#agere blog #sfw agere #sfw littlespace #sfw little post #little space #agere little #aewlittlerambles #sfw little community #aewlittlestories #criminal minds agere #caregiver!aaron hotchner #little reader #little!reader

[starandcloud]

Asking them to pick you up

This is how I think the spiders would react to you saying: "My parents are fighting again, can you come pick me up?"

1610!Miles Morales

He was more anxious then you when he heard the distant yelling on your end of the phone.

"Miles..? My parents are fighting again... Can you come get me..?"

"Yeah... Just give me a few Y/N, I'll be there soon."

When he arrives at your window, he has a bag in his hand.

He didn't let you peak inside because "it's a surprise"

His mom completely understood why Miles had brought you over and asked you if you were hungry

You politely denied and explained your stomach hurt to much

As soon as his bedroom door was shut he gave you the bag

His excitement for you to open it really calmed your nerves

When you opened the bag you smiled softly

He had gotten you your favorite snacks and drinks to calm you down

10/10 gentleman

He made you take his bed and he slept on the floor

The two of you ended up in his bed anyways, you were having nightmares so he said he'd "just lay with you" but you woke up pressed to his chest

He held you while he slept, you weren't the only one anxious

He made you breakfast and made you laugh as he cooked

Your laughter had woken his mom and dad up, his dad went to speak up but Rio stopped him and just watched the two of you

42!Miles Morales

He had been in the middle of a job with Aaron when you called

He hadn't been expecting anyone to call so his phone loudly rang

He panicked and quickly picked up

"What is it Mami, I'm wor... Is everything okay?"

He asked as he heard something crash and you whimper

"My parents are fighting again... Can... Can you come get me Miles..?"

The way your voice shook when you spoke made Miles' heart ache.

"Yeah... Yeah I can do that... Can you hold out for an hour Amor?"

"Yeah... I-I can do that..."

"Alright, I'll be done with work by then. I'll be there soon."

Miles promised and hung up

His anxiety about your well being showed as he fumbled a bit on that "job"

He got you around 12 in the morning and you launched yourself into his arms, you had a bag on your back and you had been waiting on the fire escape for him.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. I've got ya, let's go see my mom? Yeah?"

He asked and all you could do was nod

Miles literally carried you towards his house

He didn't want you walking

"You've been stressed out enough tonight, lemme carry you"

Stressed and worried about you all night

Uncle Aaron picked on him about it, A LOT but eventually left Miles alone when he saw Miles jump up when he heard you whimper in your sleep

Miles didn't really sleep that night, but you woke up to him sleeping on the floor next to the couch.

You smiled softly and looked down at him

What would you do without him?

Gwen Stacy

You caught her just as she was about to go to sleep

"Gwen..?"

"Yeah? Are you okay? Usually you're asleep by now Y/N, somethin' wrong?"

Distant screaming made you flinch and whimper.

"No... My parents are fighting again... Can you come get me Gwen? I'm scared..."

You broke her little heart when you told her you were scared.

"Yeah... Yeah! I'm coming, stay put okay? I'll stay on call with you, I promise."

Her words comforted you and the entire time she walked to your house, she talked to you.

She would've gotten there quicker but she didn't wanna risk being seen as "Ghost-Spider" going to your apartment. For your own safety.

She snuck in through your window, fire escape, and helped you pack your bag

"My dad's never home anyways, stay as long as you need Y/N."

She said and the two of you started to walk back to her apartment

She kept making you laugh which lessened your anxiety

You ended up sleeping over at her house for a week, your parents didn't even notice

For the sake of this pretend there was phones in the 1930s

"Peter..?"

"Yes Darling?"

"My parents are fighting again, can you come pick me up,,? Please?"

"Of course, I'll be there soon."

You heard shuffling before the line went dead.

He showed up minutes later and made a bullshit excuse of why he needed to bring you out that late. Something about "I need something mended and I promised her I'd by the fabric, she just needs to pick it out."

You spent the night at his house

He slept on the couch

Miguel O'Hara

You worked at the same company, and he was your boss

You came in with bruises a few times, and he was concerned

So he made up a bullshit reason to give you his number

And it was a good move on his end

You called him around 9:15 sobbing, incoherant apologies came from you as you apologized for calling this late

Miguel was annoyed until he heard a male voice screaming and a glass shatter

"Y/N. Be honest with me. What's going on."

"My parents... They were staying the weekend cause they were just passing through and they started fighting and I-I'm sorry this was a stupid idea... I-I'll just be a little late to work to-"

"I'm picking you up."

Honestly? Miguel stopped listening after "My parents", he knew all about them.

When he showed up outside your house, you rushed out

And hugged him

You sobbed into his chest and Miguel just kinda stood there, like a fucking idiot, for a minute before wrapping his arms around you and gently rocking you. Muttering things like "You're okay, I've got you" and "You're safe"

He kinda just drove you around until you calmed down, then he got you ice cream.

He didn't know why, but he did

Ice cream always calmed Gabriella down, so he guessed it would help you

It really did calm you down

Miguel bought you a hotel room

You insisted you'd pay him back

He insisted it was fine

The two of you were close after that

Pavitr Prabharkar

You called him

Hysterically sobbing

And he was already on his way before you even told him your parents were fighting.

You were sitting outside, barefoot, when you saw him. You kinda flung yourself into his arms and he just held you close

Very worried boy

Kinda just stood there with you in his arms swaying back and forth to calm you

Poor baby didn't know what to do so he kinda just gave you a piggy back ride around Mumbattan until you were happy

His legs hurt after but seeing you smiling and happy again was worth it

Hobie Brown

You didn't really have to call him he just kinda knew

So he didn't hesitate to pick up

"Hobie... They're fighting again... I-I can't be here please..."

"Of course Luv' I'll be there soon"

Bro wasn't discrete

He straight up knocked on the front door

The sudden stop of yelling made you curious

You slowly came out of your room and saw Hobie leaning on the door frame

Made it good and obvious he was pissed

"Oh, just the girl I was looking for. Come're."

Hobie motioned for you to come to him.

He hugged you tight and gave you a kiss on the forehead

"You got an overnight back Luv?"

You nodded and he whispered.

"Go get it, I'll meet you at your window..."

You disappeared into your room and Hobie's calm voice filled the air, you didn't hear most of what he said but by the time you were climbing out your window he was there

"There you are Luv, come on. You're sleepin' at mine for a bit"

Peni Parker

After her Canon Event she was hyper aware of moods and activities of her friends, so you calling late at night made her worry.

"Peni!"

You screamed into the mic as a broke sob fell from your lips.

"Y/N? What's going on?"

"I-I need you to come get me... Please, my parents are at it again and I--I dunno what to do and they're screaming and the baby won't stop crying and and I'm scared..."

You babbled, bouncing your baby brother in your arms trying to soothe him. The sounds of screaming echoed off your walls as you sobbed, you weren't even aware that Peni was already half way to your house until you heard a knock on your window. You dropped your phone and fumbled with the glass panes until you fell into SP//dr. Peni's arms held you as she rocked you back and forth.

"I'll be right back Y/N."

Peni said with a kiss to your forehead and she disappeared, when she came back you heard the familiar chiming of a baby toy and the hissing of SP//dr's glass door shutting. Peni held your hand as you soothed the infant in your arms. Kissing his head softly you got him to relax and he was soon fast asleep, you slowly followed. Knowing Peni wouldn't let any harm come to you, you slept in SP//dr. You woke up to her humming along to some music she had in her earbuds, you rubbing your eyes and looked up. She was doing some homework, her hand in yours. You smiled softly and laid your head against her legs. The adrenaline had left your body, leaving you exhausted; even after your nap.

"You're amazing Peni... I think I could love you..."

Peter B. Parker

He's already a dad, so he knew something was off with you. You're a younger person, late 20s early 30s, and he just knew something was off when you messaged him. "Cabbage Patch"

It took him a minute to know what you meant by that

Cabbage Patch was code for "Help me"

When he arrived at your home, he didn't get to knock before you opened the door.

"Peter!"

You half yelled as you hugged him close, Mayday's babbling made you laugh through your tears. "AND YOUR DISGRACE OF A DAUGHTER IS A SLUT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BOYS SHE'S SLEPT WITH!? ONE OF THEM IS AT THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Your parents words hurt and you hid your face in Peter's chest, Peter's eyes narrowed as he rubbed your back.

"Hey... Hey it's okay kid, you're nothing of that. Come'on. You can stay at my place. How long are they staying?"

Peter asked as he lead you away, all you did was shrug and mumble out "as long as they want..." before falling silent again

You hadn't realized where Peter had lead you before an ice cream was shoved into your hand. You blinked away the tears and laughed gently as Mayday smeared hers on her father's face. Your laughter only grew when M.J. walked up to the table and slid some chocolate towards you and said.

"So I heard some bitches were harrassing you?"

Definitely tag-teamed to lift your spirits

#peter b parker #earth 1610 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales #spider gwen #atsv hobie #spider noir #miguel o'hara #peni parker #pavitr prabhakar #M.J. #faeriesberries #ATSP Angst

[fatecantstopme]

I Can't Lose You

PART ONE

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Summary: The BAU team is hunting a sadistic murderer and you go undercover to reveal his identity and catch him in the act. Things don’t go according to plan and so much is revealed about you, your team, and your boss…things that will change all of your lives forever.

Warnings: Mentions of murder and prostitution. Cursing. Kidnapping. Use of pet names.

A/N: The reader in this story is named Isabelle Heywood. I needed to name her for ease of writing purposes. You'll see what I mean and I'm sorry if this bothers anyone. This will be a series because the story completely got away from me...but I'm obsessed with it. Please read the warnings for each part individually!

Part Two

You woke to the sound of incessant wringing. You rolled over and stared at the glowing numbers on your alarm clock; it was only 3am. You sighed in annoyance and picked up your still ringing phone. You squinted at the bright screen and saw the name “Aaron Hotchner” across the screen. You knew why he calling you, but you wished it was for a different reason. 

You sighed again as you answered the phone, “Hey boss. You do know what time it is, don’t you?” 

The voice on the other end of the phone made your heart flutter. “I know it’s really early, but we’ve got a case. It’s urgent.”

“Define urgent.” 

“We don’t have time to brief at the BAU. The case came directly to me from Strauss. Wheels up in 30 minutes.”

You swore under your breath. “On my way, sir.” 

You hung up the phone and dragged yourself out of bed. You had about 15 minutes to get yourself together before you had to leave. You headed into the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked completely exhausted. You regretted letting Morgan and Garcia goad you into going out last night. 

“So much for having Sundays off,” you muttered to yourself. Your only consolation was that Morgan and Garcia would be equally tired. 

You pulled your hair into a bun and jumped in the shower. You were used to getting ready in a hurry and 10 minutes later, you were ready to go. You’d learned not to bother with a lot of makeup when you first joined the BAU 5 years ago. It was rare that you were given much time to get ready in the morning, so you cut out the nonessentials. 

You took one last look in the mirror, running your fingers through your hair to smooth it down. “Good enough,” you sighed. 

You grabbed your go-bag and headed down to your car in the apartment building’s underground garage. The drive to Quantico was quick and 10 minutes later, you were pulling into your usual parking spot. 

You got out of your car just as Morgan pulled up. He got out of the car and turned towards you. “You look like shit,” you said lightly.

“I feel like it too,” he grumbled. “Why’d you let me drink so much?”

You laughed. “No one ‘lets’ Derek Morgan do anything.”

He chuckled. “You have a point.”

The two of you walked into the building together and met up with the rest of the team waiting in the lobby. You smiled at everyone in acknowledgement. 

“You two look awful,” Emily Prentiss said with a knowing smile. 

“You’d look just as bad if you’d have come with us last night,” you said playfully.

“I had a hot date with Sergio,” Emily joked.

You rolled your eyes and turned to Reid. “What’s your excuse, Spence? Too cool to hang out with us?”

“I was at a live reading of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’. It was actually quite fascinating, they—”

You held up your hand to silence him. “I’m sorry I asked.” 

The group laughed. David Rossi looked at you and Morgan and shook his head. “I’m too old for those late night shenanigans.” 

“Nonsense,” Morgan started. “You’re only what? 85?”

Everyone laughed, including Rossi. “Just wait, Morgan…revenge is a dish best served cold.” 

“He’s Italian,” you joked. “Better watch out.”

“Hey guys!” JJ said brightly as she walked up to the group. 

Garcia trailed behind her looking much worse than you and Morgan. She had sunglasses on and she shushed everyone when they said ‘Good morning.’ “Too loud. Too bright,” she mumbled. 

“Yikes. I think she had too much wine,” Morgan said. 

You nodded your agreement and looked around. “Where’s Hotch?”

Rossi shrugged. “I think he’s still dealing with Strauss. You know how she can be.” 

You scoffed. “Do I ever.”

Just then, Hotch came striding up to them from inside the building. Even with the dark circles under his eyes, he was still incredibly handsome. You felt your heart begin to race and your stomach filled with butterflies. You got that feeling every time you saw him, even after all these years. 

You would never tell him how you felt…you couldn’t. Hotch was a strict, by-the-book kind of guy and he was your boss. You knew nothing would ever come of you telling him, so there was no point. Plus, you could even lose your job. No one else knew how you felt…even though you were dying to talk about it. You’d loved him for the last 3 years of your life. No one else could ever compare. 

“Alright guys, we’re a go,” Hotch said as he joined the group. “Garcia, you can get started on the files I left in your office.” 

Garcia nodded. “Yes, sir.” She headed into the building while the rest of you headed towards the tarmac.

Hotch was walking behind everyone else, so you slowed down to match his pace. “Hey,” you said softly. “Did you sleep here?”

He looked at you and sighed. “Yeah, I had a lot of paperwork to do.”

“Hotch. The paperwork can wait. What about Jack?”

“Jack’s with his aunt this weekend.”

“Still…please tell me you didn’t spend your entire day off in the office.” 

“I didn’t,” he insisted. “I went out for lunch.” You glared at him and he sighed. “It really was important.”

“Nothing’s more important than family, Hotch. And that means you need to actually get away from this place occasionally.”

“I know.”

You shook your head and walked up the stairs and onto the jet. You chose the seat beside Morgan, Emily and Reid sat across from you. Hotch took a seat toward the back of the plane by Rossi and JJ.

Hotch waited until after takeoff to begin the briefing. Once the plane was comfortably in the air, he moved closer and perched on the arm of an empty seat. 

“This case is highly sensitive,” he began, “and it’s likely that the locals don’t really want us there.”

“What happened?” Emily asked. 

Hotch passed out files and continued talking. “Three months ago, a prostitute was brutally murdered, her body dumped in an alley.” 

You opened your file and began looking at the pictures within it. “She was completely nude, stabbed multiple times, and thrown away like garbage,” you said.

“The unsub likely views her as garbage,” Morgan added. 

“There’s been an identical murder every week since,” Hotch said.

“Every week?” you exclaimed.

“Why weren’t we called in sooner?” Rossi asked.

“Why wasn’t this in the news?” asked Reid. 

“The locals have been keeping the murders under wraps,” Hotch answered. “They’ve had a suspect since the third killing, but they don’t have enough to arrest him.”

“Who’s their suspect?” JJ asked.

“Senator Mark Jacobs,” Hotch responded. 

“The Senator Jacobs?” you asked.

“None other,” Hotch said.

“I’m assuming that’s why we’ve been called in,” Rossi commented.

“Yes…we’re expected to rule out the Senator’s involvement unless there’s irrefutable proof he is responsible.”

“That’s not how this works,” Morgan said angrily. 

“I agree,” Hotch’s frown deepened. “Which is why we’re going to work this like any other case. We’re the fresh eyes, so let’s see what we can find.” 

Everyone settled in and started reading through the files. Hotch went back to his seat in the back of the plane. He was facing your direction and you could feel his gaze on you. You pretended to be focused on reading, but it was impossible to concentrate under the circumstances. 

After a few seemingly unbearable moments, you felt his gaze leave you and you instantly relaxed. You glanced up at him and found that he was writing intently, his focus entirely on the paper in front of him. 

You got up and went to sit across from him. He looked up at you and covered his notes in a not-so-subtle manner. You raised your eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. 

You sat down and asked, “So if the locals don’t want us there, why are we going?”

“Politics,” Hotch answered simply. “As much as I hate it, we don’t have a choice in the matter anymore than the locals do. We’ll have to make it very clear that it’s their case and we’re only there to help…we want to catch this guy regardless of who he is.”

You smiled at the passion in his voice. “You don’t have to convince me, Hotch.”

He gave you a small smile. “Sorry, I get carried away sometimes.”

“You’re a passionate person, there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

He blushed and looked down. You loved it when he did that. His usual stoic expression quickly returned and he looked up at you. “What do you think about this case, Heywood?”

“Honestly, sir, I’m trying not to form an opinion before I get all of the facts.” If he was going to be professional, then damnit so would you.

He nodded. “Smart. As always.”

You blushed at the compliment and looked down at the file in your lap. “I need to go through this,” you said before making your way back to your seat. 

Morgan looked up at you and smiled. He patted the seat beside him and you plopped down in it. You opened the casefile and began to acquaint yourself with the facts of the case. You tried to push all thoughts of Hotch from your mind, but you found it exceedingly difficult. 

You could feel his eyes on you periodically and it was just enough to keep you off your game. You thought it was strange behavior for him and you were unsure of why he kept looking at you. Normally, Hotch was completely focused on the case, but something was clearly on his mind. 

You started to wonder if you’d done something wrong, but you figured he would have just told you. Maybe it had nothing to do with you at all and you were just making things up because you wanted it to mean something. 

Then the worst thought occurred to you…what if he knows? Your mind started racing and you began to analyze every interaction you’d ever had with the man. You couldn’t think of any time that you had tipped your hand. The team was family and as such you cared deeply for each other. As far as you knew, you’d never done anything that a family member wouldn’t do. 

You sighed inwardly and tried desperately to clear your mind. You needed to focus on the case. You finally managed to relax and absorb what you were reading. 

An hour later, your thoughts were interrupted by Hotch’s voice announcing that the plane would be landing soon. “Now that you’ve all had a chance to go over the details of the case, I want to hear your thoughts.”

“This unsub is definitely angry at someone. There’s a lot of overkill,” you began.

“The victims are all high-risk, which makes them easy targets,” Reid added. “But other than their occupation, the victims don’t seem to share any other similarities.” 

“There’s no DNA evidence, despite the fact that all of the women had sex shortly before they died,” Emily said. “The unsub is careful; cleans up after himself.”

“He views these women like garbage,” Morgan said, echoing his earlier statement. “He might think he’s cleaning up the streets.”

“Isn’t Senator Jacobs all about crime control?” Rossi asked.

Reid nodded. “His campaign was run on a tough-on-crime platform. He focused primarily on drug-related offenses, gangs, and prostitution.” 

“I think that warrants looking into the Senator,” you said to Hotch.

He nodded his agreement. “Reid, JJ, and Morgan, I want you to go to the most recent crime scene. Rossi and Prentiss, I want you to canvass the streets. See if any of the other girls in the area have seen anything. Heywood and I will get set up at the station.” 

You felt elated at the prospect of working with just Hotch. You looked up at him to find him gazing at you with such intensity that you were certain he could see straight into your soul. He seemed to realize you caught him staring and he frowned before looking away. You felt your heart sink a little, but you push down any feelings of sadness and put your focus back where it belonged. 

When the plane landed, the team separated, heading to their respective destinations. On the drive to the station, Hotch was completely silent, which was normal for him, but something about this silent felt strained. 

“What’s up with you?” you finally asked. 

“What?” he looked at you in confusion. “I’m fine.”

“You’re acting strangely, so I wanna know where your head is at.” You could practically see the wheels in his head turning as he tried to make up an excuse. “Don’t bother trying to lie, I know you too well.” 

He let out a long sigh. “Today is Haley’s birthday,” he said slowly.

Your eyes widened. “Oh Hotch. I’m so sorry, today must be tough.” 

He shook his head. “That’s just it. It’s not tough. I don’t feel sad. I mean, I do miss her, but it’s not like it used to be. Today is just a day to remember her, not mourn her. I—I just don’t know how to feel about that.”

You looked at him with a reassuring smile. “It’s okay to not feel sad. It means you’ve finally healed. Haley will always be a part of you, but it doesn’t have to hurt.” 

He looked at you with that intense expression again and you felt your pulse quicken. When the light turned green, the moment passed, and he looked away. You were both silent for the rest of the drive to the station. When he parked the car, he didn’t get out right away.

“Hotch?” you prompted gently. 

“I need to tell you something,” he began. “It’s important.” 

“Okay…”

He shook his head. “Not now. Tonight. When we get to the hotel.” 

You stared at him and your mind raced. You had no idea what he wanted to tell you, but now you needed for it to be evening. You desperately wanted to know what he had to tell you. You did your best not to panic as you got out of the car and followed him into the station.

A detective met you inside. Introductions were made and you were shown to the conference room where you could set up. You and Hotch worked in silence as you set up the boards and got everything organized. Your nerves were starting to get to you, so you took a few deep breaths to try and relax. 

“Are you alright?” Hotch asked, looking at you with concern.

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” you lied. 

He raised his eyebrows and looked at you skeptically. “You just took several deep breaths. That’s not exactly ‘normal’ behavior for you.” 

“Profilers,” you mumbled under your breath. “You can’t just drop a bomb on me and expect me to function properly,” you said louder.

“Drop a bomb on you?”

“The whole ‘I have something important to tell you, but not now’ bit you pulled in the car.”

He looked down. “So I shouldn’t have said anything?”

You sighed. “That’s not what I’m saying. I want you to be able to tell me anything. I just can’t help but wonder what’s so important and why it has to wait.”

He looked at you almost affectionately, his expression catching you off guard. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when the lead detective walked into the room. You saw Hotch’s mask slide firmly back into place and it was clear that he was once again in work-mode. 

The detective glanced between the two of you as if he could sense that something was up. After a glare from you, he cleared his throat and said, “My guys would like to brief you on the case as soon as possible.”

“Is there more that we need to know that wasn’t in the files?” Hotch asked.

“Not necessarily, but they’d like to ensure you’re up to speed and on the same page as them.”

“On the same page, referring to Senator Jacobs?” Hotch asked.

The detective caught the tone in Hotch’s voice. “I think it’s important that you understand all the facts.”

“And I think it’s important that we find the facts for ourselves. It won’t do any good to have fresh eyes if they’re all biased,” Hotch argued. 

You could see that the detective was going to argue back, so you stepped in. “What he’s trying to say is that we need to remain the impartial third party. We want to catch this guy as much as you do, but we need to be certain of who the unsub is before we go after a sitting Senator.”

Hotch looked at you and you couldn’t quite tell if he was grateful or annoyed, or possibly both. 

The detective, on the other hand, nodded in agreement. “I see your point. I’ll tell them to cool their heels until your team has a chance to come to your own conclusions.”

“Thank you, detective,” you and Hotch said at the same time.

Hotch shot you another look and you blushed and looked down, clearly deferring to his seniority. After all, he was your boss. 

The detective left the room and an awkward silence settled on the room. It made you crazy because things were never awkward between you and Hotch. You’d been friends for too long for there to be any awkwardness. 

The silence was broken by the ringing of your cell phone, which you gratefully answered, “Heywood.”

“Hey it’s Morgan. This crime scene is definitely just a dump site. There’s nowhere near enough blood for her to been killed here.”

“That’s not a surprise. Thanks, Morgan.”

“Anytime, hot stuff.”

You chuckled as you hung up. Your banter with Morgan rivaled Garcia’s, which was why the three of you were so close. Derek Morgan may have been one of the most attractive men you’d ever laid eyes on, but he wasn’t the one you wanted. He’d never hold a candle to Hotch.

Speaking of Hotch, you looked up at him, intending to update him on what Morgan found. His frown had deepened and his expression was cold. It surprised you, but you carried on. “That was Morgan, he said—”

“I heard what he said,” Hotch cut in icily.

Surprise lit up your face, mixed with hurt.

Hotch seemed to realize that he’d been unnecessarily harsh and his expression softened. “Let’s get to work on the profile, okay?”

You nodded and sat down on the edge of the table. The two of you bounced thoughts off of each other as you waited for the others to return. 

**********After Profile Delivery

“You literally just described Senator Jacobs,” one of the officers called out.

“The Senator does fit the profile, yes, but he’s not the only one. A number of people in this room also fit it,” you said. 

“Are you saying one of us did it?” another officer accused. 

Hotch stepped forward. “That’s not what Agent Heywood is saying. She’s simply pointing out that members of the law enforcement community also fit the profile, which means you can’t single out one person.” 

“Just because someone fits the profile, it doesn’t mean they did it,” Reid added.

“That being said,” Rossi began, “we do believe Senator Jacobs warrants further investigation.”

“We’ll be looking into him, as well as pursuing some other leads,” Emily said. 

“What other leads?” someone asked. 

“We’ll discuss those when we have more information,” Hotch answered. “Thank you.”

It was quite clear that the discussion was over, so the crowd of officers began to disperse. You looked around at the faces of your team. You could see the exhaustion on everyone’s faces and you, yourself, were starting to feel it too. All the coffee you’d been drinking all day had finally began to wear off. 

Hotch apparently noticed the same thing and said, “Let’s call it a night. We’re all exhausted.” 

Everyone agreed and began to pack up. Within 5 minutes, the whole team had piled into the Suburbans and were on the way to the hotel. Thankfully, the drive was short and you arrived within minutes. 

You checked in at the front desk and headed up to your respective rooms as a group. Everyone said goodnight to each other and headed off to their rooms. You tried to catch Hotch’s eye to see if he still wanted to talk, but he didn’t even look at you. You sighed and headed into your room, shutting the door behind you.

You started to get ready for bed, washing your face, brushing your teeth, and letting your hair down. You changed into shorts and a t-shirt for comfort. You were about to crawl into bed, when there was a quiet knock at your door. 

You crossed the room and opened the door to see Hotch standing there, still fully dressed. He’d taken off his suit coat and his tie, but that was it. You suddenly felt very exposed, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. 

You let him in and quickly grabbed a hoodie from your bag. It made you feel a little better about your current attire, given the company. 

Hotch was eyeing you with an appreciative expression, but it was mingled with something else you couldn’t quite place…nervousness, maybe? You’d never seen Hotch nervous, and that made you nervous. 

After a few moments of awkward silence, Hotch began to speak. “I didn’t want anyone else to know I was coming over here.”

“Okay…”

“I—uh, I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

You nodded, but remained quiet. 

He took a deep breath and looked you in the eyes. “This is very hard for me,” he began. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about this for quite some time, but I never knew what to say.” He paused and looked down. “From the moment I met you, I knew you were different. You have the kindest soul out of anyone I’ve ever known. You have this strange ability to make me laugh and you always know exactly what to say.” 

He finally looked up at you. “When Haley died, you were there for me…more than anyone else. More importantly, you were there for Jack. He adores you.” 

That made you smile, but you still didn’t say anything. 

“What makes all of this so complicated is that you’re my subordinate. I shouldn’t look at you as anything more than a great coworker…but I can’t help it. You make me feel things I never thought I’d ever feel again. You’re the reason that I’ve been able to accept Haley’s death and even move on from it. My life is better with you in it.” He paused. “But I understand if this is too much for you, or if I’m overstepping, I apologize. I just can’t keep going on like this and pretending everything is normal. You need to know the truth.” 

Your breath caught in your chest as you waited for him to continue. 

He took a deep breath. “The truth is that I’m in love with you, Isabelle Heywood. I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

Your eyes widened and you stared at him in surprise. “You…you what?”

“I love you,” he repeated softly. 

You exhaled sharply. “You love me?”

He nodded. “With all that I have.”

You continued to stare at him, still in a state of shock. You’d wanted this moment to happen for years, but now that it finally had, you had no idea what to do. 

He shifted his weight and you realized you hadn’t actually responded to his declaration.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out. “I’m just really surprised.”

He nodded and waited for you to continue. The hope on his face warmed your heart. 

“When I first met you, I thought you were way too uptight. You never smiled, you rarely joked, and you spent more time at work than you did at home. Honestly, I didn’t like you that much.” You paused. “But then I started to get to know you. I pushed you to come out of your shell, I learned more about you, and I quickly discovered you are so much more than you seem. You’ve got a big heart, you’re passionate, you’re brave and heroic, but you’re also kind and gentle. You love your job, your team, and your family in a way that I deeply admire.” 

You smiled at him and he smiled back. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve loved you since the moment I realized what kind of man you are underneath the gruff exterior.”

His eyes widened and he grinned. The smile lit up his whole face. Suddenly, he pulled you into his arms and kissed you passionately, sucking the air from your lungs. Your heart pounded in your chest and you couldn’t breathe. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. The feeling of his hands on your body drove you wild and you desperately wanted more. Eventually, you had to come up for air, but it wasn’t long before his lips found yours again. 

The kiss was even better than you had imagined, and lord had you imagined it. He gently pushed you up against the wall and trailed kisses down your neck. You were both breathing heavily and you could feel the desire radiating off of him. He kissed you again and your body responded with a hunger you didn’t know you had.

“Aaron,” you whispered as he kissed your neck.

He smiled against your skin as his lips caressed your jaw, your cheek, and your lips again. He pulled back and stared at you, his eyes heavily lidded and full of desire.

With his mouth away from your skin, you had a moment of clarity. You gently pushed him back and said, “We can’t do this here. Someone might hear.”

Realization morphed his features and he stepped back. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean—”

Your smile silenced him. “You have nothing to apologize for. We can pick this up later.”

He smiled too, causing your heart to flutter.

You stepped forward and gave him another kiss. “By the way,” you said softly. “I love it when you smile. There’s nothing hotter.”

He smiled again and returned your kiss. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

You chuckled softly and took a step back. “So…what exactly does this mean?”

He looked perplexed. “It means I want to be with you.” 

“Even though it’s against the rules?” you asked softly.

He took a step toward you and grabbed your hand. “I’ve spent my entire life living by the rules; following all the policies. I can’t live like that anymore if it means living without you.”

“But Hotch…you could lose your job.”

“Call me Aaron, Isabelle,” he said gently. “And I hope it doesn’t come to that, but I’m willing to step down if it means I can be with you.”

You gasped. “I would never ask you to do that. This team needs you as its leader.”

He smiled. “You’re not asking, I’m just putting it out there.”

You looked down at his hand entwined with yours. You desperately wanted to be with him, but not at the expense of his job…or yours. “Maybe we should keep it a secret.”

“What?” he exclaimed.

“Just for a little while…until we decide what to do.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

You nodded. “Absolutely. It’s safer for both of us this way.”

“Alright,” he paused. “Does that include the team?”

Your expression was pained as you nodded. There was no one on this earth you wanted to tell more than them, but you didn’t want to put them in a compromising position. 

“It’s safer for them…plausible deniability and all that.”

“You know they’d never tell anyone.”

“I know…but I don’t want to put them in that position. It’s not fair to them.”

“Okay.” He kissed your forehead affectionately. “We’ll keep it a secret.”

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“Anything for you,” he whispered back.

He wrapped you in a hug and you laid your head on his chest. The two of you stood like that for a while, just enjoying being near each other.

“You should probably be getting back to your room,” you said regretfully. “We’ve got a long day tomorrow and we’re all exhausted.”

He sighed. “You’re probably right…I just don’t want to go.”

You laughed softly. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t want you to go either.” 

He smiled down at you and kissed the top of your head. “I think that actually makes it harder.”

You reluctantly separated and he headed for the door. You followed him to close the door behind him. He paused and turned around to give you one last kiss goodnight. “I love you, Isabelle.”

You smiled warmly. “I love you too, Aaron.”

He smiled one more time before slipping into the hallway, shutting the door quietly behind himself. 

You locked up and slid into bed. Your mind was racing and you had no idea how you could possibly fall asleep even with the exhaustion. You couldn’t believe what just happened…you were so excited you could hardly stand it. You were dying to tell Morgan and Garcia, but you knew you couldn’t. 

You sighed and closed your eyes. You could feel the tiredness creeping up on you and you began to drift off to sleep, your last thought was of Aaron and the way he smiled when you told him you loved him too.

**********

At 6am there was a knock on your door. You groaned and dragged yourself out of bed. You threw the door open to find Reid standing in the hall, fully dressed. 

He walked right in and you grumbled, “Do you even know what time is it?”

“I’ve got an idea.”

“An idea so important you have to barge into my room before dawn?”

Reid looked at you in surprise. “It’s almost dawn?”

You raised your eyebrows. “It’s 6am.”

“Oh.”

“Spence…” you began, “did you even get any sleep last night?”

He shook his head and you sighed. “You can yell at me later, Iz. This is important. I think I know where the unsub is taking his victims.”

“How? Where?”

“Well, I was studying a map of the area where the bodies have been found. The only place that’s near all the dumpsites is an old abandoned warehouse. It’s be the perfect place to torture and kill these women.”

“I’m going to ignore the creepiness of that last statement and just say ‘good work, Reid’.”

“There’s a problem though.”

“And what’s that?” you asked.

“Senator Jacobs owns the warehouse.”

You inhaled sharply. “Shit. Well we can’t just go barging in there without probably cause. It’s private property owned by a freaking Senator.”

“Exactly, which brings me to my idea.”

You nodded and waited for him to continue. 

“We need a reason to enter the building…and it would make matters easier if we could catch him in the act.” Reid paused. “I think you should go undercover.” 

You took a moment to process his words. “You want me to pretend to be a prostitute?”

“Only until he takes you to the warehouse.”

You thought for a moment before nodding. “That actually might work.” You jumped up. “Come on, let’s talk to Hotch.”

“Uh, Izzy.” Reid points to your wardrobe and you realized you were still in your pajamas. 

“Right. Let me change first.”

Five minutes later and the two of you were knocking on Hotch’s door. 

He answered the door looking mildly annoyed. When he saw you, his expression softened. “What are you guys doing up?”

“Reid found something.” 

Hotch stepped back to let the two of you enter. Reid explained what he found and Hotch listened intently. “So we can’t enter the premises without a warrant,” Reid concluded.

“And no judge is going to sign a warrant based on Reid’s intuition, no matter how good it may be,” you added.

“So what do you propose we do?” Hotch asked.

“We catch him red-handed,” you answered.

“How?”

“By sending Isabelle in undercover,” Reid responded. 

Hotch looked between you and Reid in surprise. “No—no, absolutely not.”

“Hotch, we don’t have any other options,” you pled.

“I’m not putting you at risk.”

“It’s my decision.” 

“I’m the Unit Chief and what I say—”

“No one else can do it,” Reid interjects. “JJ doesn’t have the necessary field experience and Emily isn’t the unsub’s type. It has to be Isabelle.”

Hotch looked crestfallen. “There has to be another way.”

“I’ve thought of every possible variation. This is the only way.” 

Hotch looked down and shook his head.

“Please, Hotch. People’s lives are at stake,” you said softly.

He looked up at you, his face a mix of emotions. He sighed and his mask slid firmly into place. “Fine. We’ll need the day to prep you.” 

You nodded. “I can do this.”

“I know you can, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

**********

“Hell no,” Derek said emphatically. “No way in hell, over my dead body…need I continue?”

“Come on, Derek,” you began.

“No, Izzy!” He looked over at Hotch. “You can’t seriously be okay with this.”

Hotch’s face remained impassive. “I’m not, but Reid makes a good point.”

“I don’t care what Reid says, we’re not sending Isabelle into the den of a sadistic serial killer,” he argued.

You sighed. “It’s not your decision to make, Morgan.”

He glared at you and you returned the stare. Neither of you backed down until JJ stepped between you. “Okay, both of you need to relax.”

“Relax? How am I supposed to—” 

“Enough,” Hotch cut in aggressively. Morgan shut his mouth mid-sentence and watched his boss. 

Hotch sighed. “Look, I know this isn’t the best idea, but it’s all we’ve got.” He looked at you and you nodded. “And Isabelle is okay with it. So instead of arguing about this, let’s prepare her to make this mission a success.”

Rossi stepped forward and looked at you closely. “I have the utmost faith in you, Isabelle. I just want to make absolutely certain that you are completely comfortable with this.” 

You looked at him and gave him a small mile. “This isn’t my first time undercover, Rossi. I’ll be fine.” 

He nodded. “Okay then. We should get started.”

Everyone gathered around the conference table. The next three hours were spent going over the plans for that evening. You could feel your anxiety ramping up as more time passed. This certainly wasn’t the most dangerous undercover mission you’d been on, but it had been years since you’d last worked incognito. You knew your team would be there and they’d have your back no matter what, but this was still extremely dangerous and there were a lot of unknowns. 

“Hey, gorgeous. You still with us?” Morgan asked. 

You looked up at him and nodded. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

You could feel everyone’s eyes on you and you knew they were all profiling you. Especially Hotch. The intensity of his gaze made your skin feel like it was on fire. 

“Guys, stop,” you said firmly. “I can practically feel you all profiling me.”

Most of the team had the decency to look embarrassed, but not Morgan. He continued to give you the same concerned look.

“D,” you said gently. “I’m good.”

It was a few moments before he finally nodded and you released a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. 

“Is everyone clear on the plan for tonight?” Hotch asked. 

“JJ and I will be on the street with Isabelle so we can see who picks her up,” Emily began.

“Rossi and I will be parked down the street to keep watch,” Spencer added, “We’ll follow at a safe distance once Isabelle gets picked up.” 

“Morgan, you and I will trade off with Rossi and Reid to make sure that the unsub doesn’t realize he’s being followed. Once they get to their destination, we’ll keep watch and wait for the signal,” Hotch finished.

“I’ll have a tracker in my shoe so you’ll know where I am at all times,” you said. “Once I’m in the car, JJ and Emily will get into the surveillance van with Hotch and Morgan.”

Hotch nodded. “Good. As for the extraction plan—”

“Wait for my signal, then infiltrate,” you said. 

Hotch nodded again. He peered at you intently. “If we don’t hear from you in thirty minutes, we’re coming in.”

“An hour,” you countered.

“Isabelle—” Hotch began.

“We need to catch him doing something other than sleeping with a prostitute, Hotch. Give me an hour, okay?”

Hotch closed his eyes briefly. “Fine. One hour.”

“Hotch—” Morgan started.

Hotch cut him off with a look that clearly said who was in charge.

“Easy boys,” Emily said to ease the tension. “Us girls need to go shopping. We need appropriate outfits for tonight’s…festivities.” 

JJ nodded her agreement and the three of you practically raced out of the room. The men began to bicker the moment you’d shut the door behind you.

“They’re being way too overprotective,” you said.

“They’re your family, Izzy. Of course they’re being overprotective,” JJ insisted.

“I think they’re worried that I can’t do this.”

Emily shrugged. “They don’t get it. Derek and Hotch are alpha males. They instinctively want to protect their female.”

“That’s a disturbing way to put it,” you said with a laugh.

“Eh, you know what I mean.”

“How do you explain Rossi then?” JJ asked.

“His concern was more compassionate. He’s worried about the girl he sees as the daughter he never had. I think that’s an acceptable reaction,” Emily replied.

“And this whole thing was Spencer’s idea, so it’s no surprise he’s okay with it,” you said.

“Doesn’t mean he’s not worried,” JJ said softly. 

You just nodded. 

Emily picked up on your mood and said, “Alright ladies, enough about them. Let’s go get us some skanky clothes.” 

You and JJ laugh. “Garcia would love this,��� you said.

“You know she would find you the most outrageous outfit,” JJ said.

“Yeah she would,” you paused. “She’s going to worry about me.”

“She always does,” Emily said softly. “The only thing you need to focus on is keeping yourself safe.”

You nodded. “I know, I know. You’re right.” You took a deep breath. “Okay, where do we go to find prostitute-worthy clothes?”

Emily gave you a wry smile. “I know just the place.” 

You and JJ exchange glances and a chuckle as you follow Emily out into the parking lot. 15 minutes later, you find yourself in a Target parking lot.

“I figured Walmart would be a bit too trashy,” Emily said with a shrug.

You rolled your eyes and JJ laughed. The three of you headed into the store and began to scour the clothing section to find just the right outfit. After trying multiple items on, each of you walked out with the perfect ‘never wearing this again’ outfit. 

“You know, the boys are going to die when they see us in these outfits,” you said.

“Especially Hotch,” Emily said with a laugh.

You raised your eyebrows questioningly. “Why Hotch?”

“Well for starters, he’s a bit uptight,” Emily said. “A little bit of a prude.”

“He is not a prude,” you said lightly. 

Both Emily and JJ stared at you. You laughed and said, “Okay, he’s rather uptight. This might give him a heart attack.”

“Just wait until Morgan see you,” JJ teased. “He’ll die of delight.”

“Oh stop.” You gave her an affectionate swat on the arm. “It’s Spence who will really freak out.”

“Oh my god,” Emily cracked up. “I’m picturing his face and it’s gold.”

The three of you laughed all the way back to the station. You left your bags in the car and headed inside. 

Rossi, Reid, and Morgan were still in the conference room. They were all talking animatedly and laughing. You looked around for Hotch and finally found him in the Captain’s office. It looked like they were having a very heated discussion. It was clear that Hotch was agitated. 

“That can’t be good,” you said, nodding toward the office. 

“Hotch looks pissed,” Emily agreed.

The three of you entered the conference room to try and get the scoop from the others before Hotch came back. 

“Hey boys,” you said. “What’s up with Hotch?”

“Apparently one of the idiot goons out there was chatting with a member of Senator Jacobs’ security team. He mentioned that we had a plan to catch this serial killer in action,” Rossi answered.

Your jaw dropped. “Shit. Did he tell the guy our plan?”

“Thankfully, no,” Rossi said.

“We’ve kept to ourselves most of the day,” Reid added. “No one but us knows what’s going to happen.”

“Still…” JJ started. 

“I think we should call it off,” Morgan said.

“Morgan, no,” you said.

“It’s too dangerous, Iz! What if Jacobs is the unsub?”

“As long as our plan isn’t compromised, then we’ll be fine,” you said. “Maybe the security guy didn’t say anything to Jacobs.”

“Oh he told Jacobs everything,” Morgan said.

“How do you know?” Emily asked.

“Because Senator Jacobs called Hotch to personally congratulate him,” Rossi said.

“Holy mother…I can see why he’s so pissed,” you said.

You heard a door slam and the entire precinct looked up to stare. Hotch had just stormed out of the captain’s office and was headed outside.

“I’m going to go check on him,” you said.

“You’re a brave, brave soul, Isabelle Heywood,” Rossi commented. 

You rolled your eyes and hurried out after Hotch. He almost never lost his temper, so this intense display of emotion surprised you. You found him around the side of the building, pacing back and forth. 

“Hotch?” you called out tentatively. 

He looked up at you and the cold fury in his eyes made you take a step back. He realized it was you, and his expression softened. He stopped pacing as you walked towards him. 

“What happened?” you asked, even though you already knew.

“One of those idiot cops jeopardized the entire operation!” Hotch said angrily.

“Jacobs doesn’t know the plan,” you said softly. 

“Does it really matter? If he is the unsub, he’s going to be on high alert.”

“You’re right, he will be,” you agreed. “But if it’s him, then he’s also a sadistic killer. He won’t be able to resist his urges.”

Hotch looked down at you, and you were surprised by the fear in his eyes. “How can I put you in danger when I’m so terrified of losing you?”

You shook your head. “You’re not gonna lose me, Aaron.” You reached up and gently rested your palm against his cheek. “I’ll come back.”

He closed his eyes and leaned against your hand for a moment. “You can’t promise me that,” he said softly. He took your hand and pulled it down, but didn’t let it go.

“You’re right, I can’t make that promise, but I can promise that I will never give up. No matter what happens, I will fight to come back to you.” 

He inhaled sharply and nodded his head. “That’ll do,” he whispered. 

You’d never seen him so vulnerable before and it was pulling at your heart strings. You could feel his love for you. It was so intense that it overwhelmed you. It was also a testament to his ability to hide his emotions. You’d never noticed and as far as you knew, no one else had either. 

Aaron Hotchner hid himself away from the rest of the world and you worried that if something happened to you, he would never show his vulnerable side again. Your heart practically ached with all the years of unexpressed love that you’d kept bottled up inside. 

“When all this is over,” you started softly. “I want to tell you something.” 

He raised his eyebrows. “You can’t tell me now?”

You shook your head. “You’ll have to wait until we catch this guy. It’s just a little incentive.” 

“You’re right…” he said softly, “that is cruel.”

You laughed and flashed your brilliant smile. He leaned down and kissed you gently. Butterflies floated around in your stomach and your heart beat faster. When you parted, both of your faces were flushed and his eyes were burning with desire.

He took a deep breath and pulled you into a hug. “Thank you,” he whispered into your hair.

You pulled back and looked up at him. “For what?”

“For coming after me. For calming me down. For being you.”

You laughed softly. “You’re quite welcome.” You squeezed his hand and let go as you made your way back to the front of the building. “So what did you say to the captain?”

“I told him that his officer put one of my best agent’s lives at risk. Then I yelled a little bit.”

“A little bit?” you asked skeptically.

“Okay, probably more than I should have.”

You nodded. “Go apologize.”

He paused and stared at you. The two of you were right beside the door and you could feel the stares through the glass. 

“I’m serious, Aaron. It’s not his fault one of his officers is an idiot. Plus, yelling never solved anything. So, go apologize, please.”

He looked at you and sighed. “You’re right.”

You smiled. “I know.”

He rolled his eyes before he once again slid his mask firmly into place and entered the building. You followed, but headed towards the conference room as he headed to the captain’s office.

“What did you say to him?” Emily asked, staring across the room.

“Is he apologizing?” Morgan asked incredulously. 

You laughed and punched his arm. “Yes, he’s apologizing. Not all men are savage animals who can’t admit when they’re wrong.”

He rolled his eyes and crumpled some paper into a ball, which he proceeded to throw at your head. You ducked and the paper hit Reid, causing him to jump and the whole room to laugh. 

“Rude,” Reid said to Morgan. 

You bent down and wrapped your arms around Reid’s neck and kissed his head. “Come on, love. It was pretty funny.”

Reid laughed. “Oh, I will get you back, just you wait.”

“I’m trembling,” Morgan joked.

You straightened up when Hotch entered the conference room. He nodded to you and then addressed the rest of the team. “I’m sorry about that everyone. But the plan is still on for tonight.”

“Are we sure this is still a good idea?” Morgan asked.

“Isabelle’s still okay with it and Jacobs, if he is the unsub, has no idea what our actual plan is.”

“We profiled that the unsub would kill again, so it’s a safe bet that his urges will have him on the hunt tonight,” Reid added. 

“Alright. Let’s go over the plan one more time just to be sure,” Morgan said. 

The room groaned, but Hotch agreed, so everyone sat down to discuss it.

**********At the hotel

“I’m pretty sure I’ve never shown this much cleavage in my entire life,” you said with a laugh.

“Girl, I used to go to clubs practically naked in Europe,” Emily said.

You all laughed.

“Not all of us can be as cool as you,” JJ added.

“Aww, you think I’m cool?” Emily asked with a grin.

“Doesn’t everyone?” you joked.

“You’re right,” Emily said as she dramatically flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

The three of you burst out laughing. You grew sober again as you looked at yourself in the mirror. “I look like a prostitute.”

Emily came over to stand beside you. “A very high-end prostitute,” she said. “And besides, isn’t that the point?”

You sighed. “I know. It’s just slightly horrifying.” 

JJ laughed. “Honey, we all look like prostitutes. I’m just glad Will isn’t here to see it.” 

Emily nodded. “Perks of not having a boyfriend. I don’t have to worry about what anyone thinks.”

You blushed slightly as you thought about Hotch’s reaction. You didn’t really want him to see you dressed like this…but it was for the job. He’d have to understand.

“You’re blushing,” Emily pointed out.

“Thanks for the info, Em.”

She laughed lightly. “Anytime. Now, who are you thinking about?”

“Spence,” you answered automatically.

“Reid?” she asked in surprise.

“He’s like my little brother,” you said. “I don’t like the idea of him seeing me dressed like a hooker.” 

It was true, but it wasn’t exactly the answer to Emily’s question. She, however, didn’t need to know that. 

“Don’t worry, Iz. I doubt he’ll judge you. Besides, I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would ever taint his view of you.” 

“He looks up to you,” JJ added. “You’re the big sister he never knew he wanted.”

You smiled. “Thanks guys.” You took a deep breath. “Are we ready to do this?”

“I think the more accurate question is, are you ready to do this?” Emily corrected.

You nodded. “I think I’m ready.” You straightened your shirt and headed for the door. 

The three of you went across the hall to Hotch’s room, where the rest of the team was gathered. You took another deep breath and opened the door.

Four heads immediately swiveled in your direction. Your entrance was met with stunned silence. 

Rossi was the first to recover. “You guys look…”

“Like 2 dollar hookers?” you asked.

The tension in the room lifted and the boys laughed. 

“Well I was gonna say ‘nice’, but I doubt that’s an accurate term,” Rossi said with a smile.

You made eye contact with Hotch and you were surprised to see the discomfort on his face. You gave him a small smile, which he tried to return, but it looked forced. He looked away and you glanced around to make sure no one saw the exchange. Everyone was chatting, not paying attention to the two of you at all…or so you thought. You were unaware, but Emily had seen the exchange and she filed it in the back of her mind to bring up to you later.

Suddenly a phone started ringing. Morgan looked down at his and smiled. “Hey baby girl, what’s cooking?”

“Well, my chocolate delight, let me tell you. I’m a bit peeved that you haven’t called me all day. I’m wasting away at my keyboard, feeling useless,” Garcia whined. 

Morgan laughed. “Sorry, sweet cheeks. We got a little busy over here.”

“Fine, fine. You’re forgiven. Now, let me talk to Izzy.”

Morgan looked surprised. “Okay, hold on.” He handed the phone to you. 

“Hey, Garcia,” you said. 

“Take me off speaker.”

You did so before putting the phone to your ear. “What’s up, PG?”

“You’re going undercover?” she demanded. 

You sighed. “Who told you?”

“Reid called me.”

You shot a glance at Reid, but he was blissfully unaware. “It’s not a big deal,” you began. 

“It’s a huge deal, Isabelle Heywood! You could get yourself killed!”

“I know, Penelope. I’ll be careful, I promise. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.” 

“I worry, you know that.”

“I know. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want you to worry.” 

“Well don’t do it again. I need to know what’s happening to my family, Isabelle.”

“I promise I’ll keep you in the loop.”

“Good,” she paused. “Stay safe, Iz,” she said softly. 

“I will, Penelope.”

“Okay. Now give me back to Morgan.”

You handed the phone back to Morgan. You didn’t hear what was said, but you could assume. You sat down and took a deep breath. You did your best to focus on the task ahead of you. 

On the phone, Garcia ended the call with, “Keep her safe, Derek.”

“I’ll do my best, baby girl,” he said before hanging up.

“Alright,” Hotch said. “We need to get moving. Is everyone ready?”

A mixture of nods and ‘yes, sir’s’ answered his question. Everyone filed out of the room, you and Emily at the back of the group. 

“Hey,” Emily says quietly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“I—uh—I saw you and Hotch…”

You tensed up. “What are you talking about?”

“When we first came into the room…the way he looked at you.”

You sighed. “It’s nothing, Em. It’s just Hotch being Hotch.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think so. He didn’t look at me or JJ like that.”

You shrugged. “Nothing’s going on, Emily. We’re coworkers—friends. That’s all.” 

She didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “Okay, Isabelle. If you say so.” 

The two of you moved quickly to catch up with the rest of the team at the elevators. Once you were down in the lobby, you got a lot of judgmental stares from both guests and hotel staff. The men gawked and the women looked at the three of you with disgust.

Hotch led the group, with the girls in the middle, Reid on one side, Morgan on the other, and Rossi bringing up the rear. Each of them had a protective stance as if daring someone to say something. 

At one point, Morgan yelled at an especially creepy man, “What are you looking at?” The man backed up and you managed to get outside and into the vehicles without further issue. 

Hotch drove the three of you downtown. He didn’t look at you the entire way down. As you neared the destination, he pulled over. “Okay ladies. You’ll have to walk from here. The van will be parked down the street, so as soon as Isabelle gets picked up, start moving.” 

JJ and Emily nodded.

“Stay safe out there and watch each other’s backs.”

“We will,” you said as you opened the door. 

JJ and Emily got out and you were halfway out of the vehicle when Hotch grabbed your arm. You turned to look at him and found his face filled with emotion. 

“Come back to me,” he whispered, too softly for Morgan to hear.

Your breath caught in your chest and all you could do was nod. He released you and you slid out of the car and shut the door. You smiled at the girls and pretended that everything was fine. 

“Let’s do this,” you said as you started walking down the street. Your high heels were uncomfortable and your skirt was so short, you were afraid that your underwear was hanging out. The three of you remained silent until you could see other street-walkers just up the road. 

“Get into character, ladies. It’s go time.”

The other two women nodded and you all headed into the lion’s den together. A couple of the girls eyed you suspiciously, but no one said anything. You paid attention to your surroundings without being obvious, absorbing everything you saw and heard.

You paid strict attention to the Johns that pulled up, having to quickly assess them to determine if they could be your unsub. An hour in, and no one had stuck out to you.

You walked over to Emily and said, “Hey Casey, got any bites?”

She sighed and shook her head. “Nothing good yet.”

JJ slid up beside you. “Nothing good for me either.”

“Well don’t give up just yet, Vikki,” you said cheerfully.

JJ smiled. “How ‘bout you, Lilly?”

“Not a damn thing,” you responded. 

You parted ways again to continue your observations.

~In the van~

Hotch and Morgan had been sitting in silence for most of the previous hour. Hotch was too busy trying not to worry about you to have a conversation. He couldn’t quite make you out from this position, but your tracker placed you across the street.

Morgan had been fidgety for the last half hour. He was clearly restless, but Hotch had a feeling he was really worried about you too. 

Finally, Morgan couldn’t stand it anymore. “What if something happens to her?” he blurted.

“Nothing’s going to happen to her, Morgan.”

“You don’t know that for sure, Hotch.” 

Hotch sighed. “I’m worried about her too, you know. We just have to trust her skills. And we’re all here with her.” 

“I know. It’s just…” he trailed off. “She’s just so incredible. I can’t help but adore her.”

Hotch glanced at Morgan, but his focus was across the street. He felt a surge of jealousy, which he pushed down immediately. 

“I love her, Hotch. I really do.”

Hotch took a moment before he responded. “I didn’t know the two of you were together.”

Morgan barked out a laugh. “No, no. We’re not together. Isabelle’s too good for me, but that’s not what I meant. I love her like family. Sure, I’d date her if she wanted, but I’m not quite her type.”

Hotch visibly relaxed, which didn’t escape Morgan’s notice. He raised his eyebrows, but decided not to say anything. After all, Hotch was his boss. He was a little surprised that Hotch had feelings…in general. So it was almost shocking that he had feelings for you specifically. Not because you were unlikeable or anything, but because you were Hotch’s subordinate. Morgan knew Hotch was a rule-follower by nature. There was no way he would break the rules, even for someone as incredible as you.

Hotch was about to say something when a large SUV pulled up across the street. “We’ve got movement,” he said. 

Morgan lifted his binoculars to try and get a better look. “The windows are tinted. I can’t see anything.”

“Damn,” Hotch said. “Reid, Rossi, do you have a visual of who is in that SUV?” he asked over the radio.

“Negative, Hotch,” Rossi responded. “We can see the girls though. Izzy’s going up to the passenger window now.” 

~Back on the street~

A dark SUV pulled up to the curb and you took a step forward. The windows were tinted and you couldn’t see into the car at all. You could see Emily and JJ out of the corner of your eye. They were watching you like hawks and you were glad for it. 

The passenger side window rolled down and a man leaned his head out. He pointed at you with a smile. “Hey there gorgeous. Come a little closer.”

You smiled and walked up to the car. “Hiya handsome. What can I do for you?”

The man smiled. “Well darling, it’s not for me. I’ve got a very special client that wants to meet you. You have to be very discreet. Can you do that, baby girl?”

You bristled at the nickname, but you didn’t show it. Instead you gave him a seductive smile. “Discreet is my middle name.”

“Perfect,” he grinned. “Get in the back and tell me your name.”

“Lilly,” you responded as you opened the back door. You could see JJ and Emily move closer, but you didn’t look at them. It was important not to attract attention.

You slid into the backseat and shut the door. You were quite certain these men weren’t your unsub, but you had a feeling they were going to take you to him. “Who’s this special client?” you asked sweetly.

“You’ll see real soon, darlin’.”

You smiled and sat back. You calmed your nerves by taking in everything about the vehicle, the two men, and the landmarks you passed on your way to meet this client. You remained silent and that seemed to suit both men.

~In the van~

The moment you got into that car, the rest of the team sprang into motion.

Reid and Rossi followed the SUV while Hotch and Morgan picked up JJ and Emily. Hotch’s grip on the wheel was so tight his knuckles were turning white. No one spoke until Rossi radioed and said the SUV was heading west, which meant it was their turn to follow.

“Copy that. We’ve got them,” Morgan responded.

The SUV traveled west for about 1.25 miles before turning into the drive of a luxury hotel. It was the kind of place where the staff were paid to be discreet and the rich came to do the things they couldn’t do at home.

“They’re at the Conway Hotel on Pike,” Hotch said to the team. “We’ll set up down here and watch the front. Rossi and Reid, you watch the back. Wait for Izzy’s signal and we’ll all go in.”

“Roger that, Hotch,” Rossi responded.

The nerves in the van intensified. They were all wishing they had eyes on the situation. For now, the best they could do was wait. Your tracker said that you were in the hotel. They just had to have faith you would be okay. 

~In the hotel~

You stared at your reflection in the metal walls of the elevator. From the outside, you looked completely composed, as if this was something you did every day. On the inside, however, you were nervous, and frankly a little scared. You had a good idea about who this ‘client’ was and you hoped your team made the same assumptions. 

You were led off the elevator and escorted to a room at the end of the hall. The door opened almost immediately after your arrival. You stepped into the room and gasped in surprise. Sitting in a chair in the front room was none other than Senator Mark Jacobs.

The Senator stood up and walked toward you. He was a very imposing man. Roughly 6’2”, former football star, and still in excellent shape despite being almost 50. Most women (and even some men) would say he was very attractive, but all you felt when you looked at him was revulsion. You did your best to hide your true feelings and focus on your persona.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked you. 

“Yes, Senator, I do.”

He smiled. He walked around you. You pretended to appreciate his gaze, even when it lingered on your ample cleavage. 

Once he’d finished his inspection, he turned to his security personnel. “She’s perfect, boys. Wait for me in the other room while I get down to business with our guest.”

The guards left and all of his attention was on you. “What’s your name?”

“Lilly,” you replied with a sultry smile. “And what would you like me to call you?”

“You can call me ‘sir’.” He took a step towards you. “I’ll give you $5,000 for the night if you let me do what I want with you.”

You were surprised by the amount, but you didn’t let it show. “$8,000 and you can do anything.”

He smiled. “I like a woman who knows how to bargain. You’ve got yourself a deal, Miss Lilly.”

You bit your lip and took a step towards him. “Okay, handsome. What do you want to do first?” You placed your hands on his chest and fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. 

He said nothing, just watched you with hungry eyes, so you began to unbutton his shirt. Your hands slid down his smooth chest to his muscled abdomen. You pushed him onto the couch and climbed on his lap. 

“Kiss me,” he demanded. 

You felt your heart begin to race and bile rise in the back of your throat. You swallowed it back down and pressed your lips to his. It disgusted you to be intimate with him, but you had no choice. His hands slid up your ribcage and under your shirt. He yanked your top off over your head and buried his face in your breasts. You ran your fingers through his blonde hair and let out a fake moan.

Just then, the door to the room opened. 

“Oh shit!” a man’s voice said. “Sorry, Senator. I didn’t know you had a girl with you.” 

You turned around and your heart stopped. The man’s jaw dropped when he saw your face. You scrambled off the Senator’s lap and took a step back. 

The man standing before you was Detective Brady, one of the officers working on this case. “Do you know who she is?” he demanded.

“What are you going on about, Brady?” The Senator asked in annoyance.

“She’s an FBI agent! She’s one people down from Quantico working the prostitute case!” 

Your heart was thudding in your chest as you thought about your options. You could feel the disposable cell phone in your back pocket. All you needed to do was hit the call button and it would connect directly to Hotch. 

“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” you said as your hand slid into your pocket. You tried to press the send button just as the Senator took a step towards you. 

“What’s your name, girl?” he growled. 

“Lilly!” you said emphatically. 

He squinted his eyes at you and you stared back at him in defiance. At least, you hoped that was the expression on your face. 

“Her name is Isabelle Heywood,” Brady insisted. “I can prove it to you.”

Your heart continued to thud as Brady pulled out his cell phone. He pushed a couple buttons before handing it to the Senator. You heard Hotch’s voice, then Morgan’s, and then your own. You realized Brady must have filmed the presentation of the profile. You took a step back and tried to determine your next move. 

The Senator handed Brady the phone and looked at you again. Your hand was still in your back pocket and you just managed to press send before the Senator grabbed you.

~In the van~

Hotch’s phone rang and he glanced at it to see who was calling. “It’s Isabelle,” he said aloud.

Morgan nodded and the van fell silent as Hotch answered the call. He put it on speaker so everyone could hear, but muted his end.

“Now, what are we going to do with you, Isabelle?” a man’s voice asked.

“Get your hands off me,” you said angrily. 

“Oh my god,” Emily said.

“He made her,” Morgan added.

“We need to move, now!” Hotch yelled as he jumped out of the van. “Morgan, you’re with me. Emily and JJ, stay out front in case they try to come down.”

He and Morgan ran into the building. “Rossi!” Hotch yelled into his radio. “They know who Isabelle is. We’re going in. Stay in the back and make sure they don’t escape that way.” 

“Got it. Go get her Hotch.”

They ran up to the front desk. The woman behind the desk eyed them warily until Morgan flashed his creds. “A woman escorted by two men came in roughly 15 minutes ago. We need to know what room they’re in.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give you that information.”

“She’s in danger. We need to know,” Morgan insisted.

“I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“She’s an undercover agent!” Hotch said angrily. “If you don’t tell us what room they’re in right now, she’s going to die.”

The clerk turned white and glanced down at her computer. “Room 305.”

Hotch was already running towards the stairs. Morgan thanked the clerk before chasing after him. When they reached the room, they didn’t even bother to knock. Hotch kicked the door in and the two men rushed into the room. It was completely silent, not a soul in sight. 

Hotch went to check the bedroom while Morgan checked the living area. “Hotch, you need to see this,” Morgan called.

Hotch came into the living area. On the floor was a pile of clothing…your clothing. Your shoes were off to the side and the disposable phone you’d used to call Hotch was sitting on top of the clothes. 

“No…” Hotch said softly as he took in the scene. He seemed to be frozen in place as he stared at your shoes. 

“They’re not here,” Morgan said into his earpiece. “Anyone have eyes on them?”

“Negative,” Emily responded. 

“Negative here too,” Rossi said. 

“Call in back up. They’ve gotta be here somewhere,” Morgan said.

“What about the tracker?” Reid asked.

“Her clothes, shoes, and phone are all here,” Morgan replied.

“Shit,” Emily mumbled.

“We’re going to search the building. Cover every entrance and make sure they don’t leave,” Morgan ordered. He looked over at Hotch who was still frozen in place. “Hotch?”

“She’s gone. The unsub has her,” he mumbled.

“Hotch, snap out of it. We need to look for her,” Morgan insisted.

Hotch looked up at him in surprise. For a moment, Morgan could see the vulnerable man underneath the hard outer shell, but his normal stony face returned almost instantly. “It couldn’t have taken us more than 3 minutes to get up here, so they can’t have gone far,” he said.

“Agreed. Maybe they took the other stairs. I doubt they would have taken the elevators,” Morgan said.

Hotch nodded and the two of them rushed out to the other staircase. There was no sign of anyone and they made it all the way down to the lobby just to be sure. 

“Shit!” Morgan exclaimed. “Hotch, there’s an underground garage.” He pointed to a sign and the two of them ran down the final flight of stairs. 

“What if they have a second car?” Morgan asked.

“We have to hope they don’t,” Hotch answered. 

One minute later and they’d found the SUV…it was completely empty. Hotch cursed under his breath. They went back up to the lobby and met with the rest of the team. 

“I think they had a secondary vehicle,” Hotch said.

“What--are you saying they got away?” JJ exclaimed. 

“Yes, and they have Isabelle,” he responded.

Reid went pale. “But…I promised her we’d keep her safe.”

“We all did,” Morgan said gently.

“We have to find her,” Reid said urgently.

“I know kid, but we have no idea who has her, what they’re driving, or where they’re going,” Morgan replied. 

“We know who took her,” JJ said. “We heard his voice.”

Hotch nodded in agreement. “It was Senator Jacobs.”

“Are you positive?” Rossi asked.

“One hundred percent.”

“Then he’s taking her to the warehouse,” Reid said.

“Let’s go,” Hotch said and the team raced to their vehicles.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #criminal minds fic #I can't lose you series

[ukrfeminism]

10 minute read

In early January 2012, Karen Ingala Smith was at the airport returning from holiday when she took a call from a colleague. She heard that a desperate young woman who’d sought help from Nia, the women’s refuge charity Ingala Smith runs, had just been murdered. Once back home, Ingala Smith opened her laptop to find out more.

Searching Google for “woman’s body found”, she soon discovered Nia’s client Kirsty Treloar, 20, the mother of a month-old baby who’d been abducted from her family home in Hackney, east London, by her boyfriend, Myles Williams, from whom she’d recently fled. Stabbing Kirsty’s brother and sister as they tried to stop him, Williams bundled her into his car. Later her body was found two miles away, dumped behind a wheelie bin, with 29 knife wounds.

But this online search yielded other results, so Ingala Smith read on. That same day in Co Durham, Susan McGoldrick, along with her sister Alison Turnbull and niece Tanya, were shot dead by her partner, Michael Atherton. Meanwhile in Nuneaton, nightclub bouncer Aaron Mann had beaten his girlfriend, Claire O’Connor, then smothered her with a pillow. The next day in Shropshire, a retired teacher, Betty Yates, 77, was beaten with her walking stick and stabbed to death by a drifter, Stephen Farrow. On January 3 in Buckinghamshire, Marie McGrory was strangled with a dog lead by her husband, John; in South Lanarkshire Kathleen Milward, 87, was bludgeoned to death by her grandson, Garry Kane.

Through her work, Ingala Smith was grimly familiar with such killings. But this deluge of cases appalled her. Eight British women had been murdered by men – all except one a partner or family member – in the first week of 2012. Each brutal murder, illustrated with a smiling holiday snap, was reported as neutrally as the weather: men killing their womenfolk was “just one of those things”.

“Perhaps because it was the start of the year,” says Ingala Smith. “I made a list of the names, as that’s the easiest way to tell one case from another. And then I never stopped.”

She began trawling local newspaper and police websites, creating an ExCel spreadsheet which she’d update as cases came to court.

It was an upsetting task, which Ingala Smith learnt to avoid just before bedtime. Her data collection method was crude but, until this year, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) only published figures for the sex of victims, not their killers, making female victims of male violence hard to quantify. As her list lengthened Ingala Smith created a Counting Dead Women Twitter account, posting each killing. This attracted public attention and a philanthropist who awarded her a grant to hire part-time staff. Now she could analyse murder trends and since 2015 has published the Femicide Census.

But what mattered most to Ingala Smith were women’s names, not numbers. So in 2016 she was delighted when the Labour MP Jess Phillips – who’d previously worked for Women’s Aid – asked to read them out on International Women’s Day. Now this roll call of more than 120 stolen lives, recited to a hushed House of Commons, has become an annual commemoration. “Dead women is a thing we’ve all just accepted as part of our daily lives,” Phillips said last year, when among the names was Sarah Everard. The list not only put male violence in the national spotlight but, says Ingala Smith, “Family after family have said how important it is to hear their loved one’s name read out in parliament, and know it is recorded in Hansard for ever.”

Now Ingala Smith, 54, has written a book, Defending Women’s Spaces, drawing upon more than 30 years of working with vulnerable women who are homeless or fleeing domestic abuse. After witnessing the power of female-only services she is alarmed by moves to make “gender identity” rather than sex the criteria for admission to refuges and rape survivor groups. She points out that 98 per cent of rapes and 90 per cent of violent crime is committed by males. While “What is a woman?” has become a question politicians struggle to answer, Ingala Smith is categoric. “Allowing biological males with transgender identities to access women’s spaces,” she writes, “poses a serious potential risk to women’s safety, wellbeing and recovery.”

Ingala Smith grew up in a home that was far from harmonious: anger and upset were never far away. The man she called Dad was a builder, providing what she describes as “a comfortable working-class home” in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire. But, she says, he was a controlling man: “It felt the whole family, especially my mum, was always walking on eggshells.”

Eventually, when Ingala Smith was 18, her mother left and confided in a friend that Karen had a different father. In fact, she was the product of a fling at 18 with her fiancé’s best man, a Sicilian who’d moved to Yorkshire to marry a local girl he’d met in Milan. While Ingala Smith’s brother and sister were blond, she was dark and, as she grew older, her mother secretly removed photos from the wedding album in case she noticed how similar she looked to a certain guest.

When Ingala Smith heard about her real father she made contact. At 21 she met him at Thornton railway station, near Bradford. “I was looking for this gorgeous Italian man,” she says. “I’m thinking Robert De Niro, Al Pacino – and actually I got Danny DeVito.” She laughs. They hit it off straight away and she was quickly welcomed into his family, later meeting her Sicilian grandparents.

A bright girl, Ingala Smith found school a sanctuary from her troubled home life. There were few books in her house and she’d never considered A-levels let alone college, “but I happened to have a good friend from what you might call a first generation middle-class family. I remember having my mind blown that they had political conversations around the dinner table, because we weren’t allowed to speak when we were eating.”

Studying sociology at sixth-form college was “absolutely life-changing – it put everything I was experiencing into context”. It was here she first encountered feminism, which she regarded then as irrelevant, feeling more in common with the lads from her old comprehensive than the “posh girls” now in her class who’d been at a fee-paying school.

After graduating from the University of Kent, she took a job in a hostel for homeless women, mainly elderly former psychiatric patients. Then, after two years, she began work at a domestic violence refuge and felt immediately she was in the right place. “Any woman I met could have been my mother. In fact, one summer Mum came on a trip we organised for the refuge kids and she started talking about how there hadn’t been anything like this when she’d needed it.”

Would her mother have left for a refuge? Ingala Smith shrugs. “I don’t know. They are not easy places to live in. We had a nice home and to give that up would be really hard, as it is for anyone.” She says people rarely understand refuges are places of absolute last resort. “They can be chaotic, noisy. Women who have other economic choices would go elsewhere. You’re moving into a house with maybe ten other families that you don’t know, with children of all different ages, with very different parenting ideas to your own. They can really help kids who’ve grown up with violent dads because they meet others in the same boat. But they’re challenging places.”

A move to a refuge is invariably fast. A woman in danger is referred by police or social services, then refuge staff have a brief phone call to try to determine whether she’s a danger to others – perhaps has a history of violence or arson – before arranging to meet her close by. (A refuge never gives out its address on the phone.) “You’d imagine women would turn up black and blue, but that is rare,” Ingala Smith says. “I think women wait until they’re ‘decent’. Besides, after an assault they often don’t have the strength to get themselves together. They wait until it’s quieter, when they know it’s coming again, and then leave.”

The refuge suggests a safety plan: to gather up passports and bank books; siphon possessions discreetly to a friend’s house; to remember that you’re most at risk of violence just after leaving. Ingala Smith notes there were few referrals in late December. “Women didn’t want to leave violent men and disrupt Christmas for children, and you knew anybody who came at that time of year – one year we had a woman turn up on Christmas Eve with three kids – was in a really bad way. In January, the phone rings off the hook.”

Ingala Smith has been the CEO of Nia since 2009. Beginning as Hackney Women’s Aid in 1975, it supports about 2,000 women a year, running a specialist refuge for women in prostitution and another for those dealing with substance abuse. Much has changed since she joined the refuge movement: many small feminist charities have merged as they must now compete for council contracts with generic housing trusts. These don’t provide the “woman-centred care” Ingala Smith believes is vital for those fleeing violent men.

Nia also works with women at high risk of domestic violence and runs East London Rape Crisis, serving both sexes. Here it counsels men and trans women, whom it often refers to Galop, a specialist LGBT+ anti-abuse charity. But no male people – whether men or trans women – are allowed into Nia refuges or group counselling.

In 2017, Nia’s trustees decided to invoke the exemptions in the Equality Act that permit single-sex services “as a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim”. It knew this was a risk. Such is the toxic debate on gender, female-only services often receive threats to their funding or have staff reported to trustees merely for liking a JK Rowling tweet. They receive hoax calls to test whether they are trans inclusive. The whole sector is chilled by how trans activists targeted Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter: it was defunded, vandalised and had a dead rat pinned to its door for remaining single sex.

The question of whether a trans woman can safely be accommodated alongside women has riven the refuge movement. “They [trans women] are not a potential risk to women because they are trans,” she writes, “but because they are male.” She cites cases of trans prisoners like Karen White who were allowed into female jails and sexually abused inmates. “Prison officers, who are really good at risk-assessing violent men, get it wrong. So how can we screen [people] in five-minute phone calls?”

Besides, this is about more than safety. Many women in refuges endured sexual abuse, often as children. Being housed with any males generates a debilitating and involuntary post-traumatic response in the brain. “It’s not hate. It’s not bigotry. It’s not transphobia,” she says. “It is an impact of abuse by men… The presence of a male-bodied person among vulnerable women causes distress and consternation.” She is aghast that Mridul Wadhwa, the trans woman who heads Edinburgh Rape Crisis, told The Guilty Feminist podcast last year that female survivors who demand male-free spaces should work to “reframe their trauma”.

In group counselling, she says, male people have been socialised to dominate groups, to ask more questions and take up space, while women have learnt to serve and make way for them. “I remember talking to a woman about what her options were and she started crying. I asked why. She said, ‘Nobody’s ever given me a choice before.’ To recover, women have to centre themselves in their own lives.”

But what of women who say they have no problem receiving counselling alongside trans women? “I understand that some female rape survivors can say, ‘A women-only service is not important to me. I’d be happy for a trans sister to be in my group.’ If they want to say that, it’s fine, but they shouldn’t take away that choice from women for whom it isn’t fine.” Young women who campaign for trans-inclusive services, she says, are mainly middle-class graduates unlikely to need them. Nia’s younger staff support the policy, even though defending it has cost some of them friends.

At root, Ingala Smith believes, violence suffered by women and trans women has a different dynamic. In her book she disputes Stonewall’s assertion that trans women suffer the highest levels of domestic abuse and murder. “Well, show me the data. Because I hear that, but I’ve never seen figures to demonstrate it.” She has collated every murder victim who might come under the broad Stonewall definition of a trans woman (which includes occasional cross-dressers). Since 2009, there have been nine murders, the last being Amy Griffiths in 2019. Most were sex workers murdered by punters or who died in drug-related fights. Just one, Vanessa Santillan in 2015, was killed by an intimate partner.

By contrast, only about 8 per cent of women victims are killed by strangers, the rest by men they know. “Most women’s refuges work exclusively with women who are fleeing partners, former partners and, in some cases, family members,” she writes. “That doesn’t mean other people don’t need places of safety or support, just that their experiences and needs are different.” She wonders why Stonewall doesn’t devote its resources to setting up specialist services rather than campaigning against those created by and for women.

The Femicide Census has revealed trends Ingala Smith hadn’t anticipated. “I was shocked,” she says, “by the number of elderly women killed in burglaries. I assumed that if a man broke into an old woman’s house he might push her down the stairs, she could be frail and bang her head. But there’s a real brutality, a particular anger and misogyny involved. Often young men use sexual violence against elderly women.” She was also surprised how many women are killed by their own sons.

Twice as many men are murdered than women but overwhelmingly by other men. When women kill – 8 per cent of murderers are female – they are both more likely to use a weapon (which makes it an aggravated offence in sentencing) and to have been abused by their victim, while men, being stronger, frequently kill with their bare hands. Strangulation is men’s second most common murder method and lately Ingala Smith has seen many lawyers adopt the “sex game gone wrong” defence.

How has devoting her life to the terrible things men do to women affected her own life? “I had a string of disastrous relationships – I just shagged around, basically – and didn’t think men were up to much.” She’d find herself moved to tears when witnessing a happy family, since her own experience was so dysfunctional.

Then, after writing off men as “avenues for happiness”, she decided to apply herself properly rather than settling for “whoever I ended up snogging in a pub at the weekend”. She started internet dating, setting herself high standards. The result was her husband of 20 years, André, a subtitler of South African parentage who speaks four languages, to whom she dedicates her book. They have no children, after several painful failed courses of IVF.

Ingala Smith knows her book will put her further in the firing line – the Labour Party has already refused her application for membership – but single-sex services “are the hill I’m prepared to die on”. That list of dead women never gets any shorter, I say. Will there ever be fewer names? “That’s the subject of my PhD, which I’m just finishing,” she says, “and my next book.” Defending Women’s Spaces by Karen Ingala Smith is out now (£15.99, Polity)

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 10

PREVIOUS

He calls his grandma to thank her for everything. She promises him that if anything keeps him from her on Christmas she’ll just make her way over to South Carolina to see him. “Maybe I can give that boy who is bullying you a piece of my mind!” She says and he loves her for it even if the thought of Andrew vs. his 70 year old grandma gives him heart palpitations that have nothing to do with the five hour energy he just slammed when no one was looking.

(He had eaten turkey because Abby had asked if he didn’t like it when he had forgone the white meat being passed around. She looked SAD so he just piled the dark meat onto his plate (at least it has less tryptophan) trip and now he needs to counteract the turkey. He could not afford to be sleepy on the impending car ride.)

He lets her know that everyone likes her pie and Abby had been overjoyed when he informed her that his gran always attaches a recipe card to the bottom for any pie in transit / for public consumption. (This is a woman who has been asked enough that she has the confidence to assume).

He gets off the line and feels the 5 hour energy kick in when Captain Neil appears out of nowhere next to him and he thinks he strains something when he resists the flinch his rapidly beating heart almost forces him into. “What language was that?” He asks.

“Polish.”

“You really do know a lot of languages. Just like your friend said.”

DANGER. DANGER. DANGER.

“Not that many.” DEFLECT DEFLECT DEFLECT “When are we heading out to Columbia?” DAMMIT

Captain Neil blinks but smiles, “We’ll be heading out in a little bit. Abby’s packing us leftovers. Too bad there’s no pie left. Do you think we could make it at the house? Andrew really liked it.” Neil says.

Pie is a safe topic. Pie will not betray him. Also if Andrew wants pie then he can’t kill FF until FF makes it and, perhaps, the pie will buy him a few extra days of mercy from his executioner.

“We can try. The secret ingredient is a grandma’s love though.” He says because it’s on the recipe card. It’s the most important ingredient in the whole pie. It’s what can keep a pie warm across a country. “Gran always says whipped cream can be used as a substitute though.” he says.

Captain Neil blushes.

DAMMIT WHY? WHY BRING UP THE WHIPPED CREAM?

“Well, we’ll have to pick some up from the store.” Captain Neil manages.

FF blanks his face as best he can and nods but gets up his heart beating too fast to remain seated. “I’ll be outside.” He says because he needs to walk around in some circles while he can. The car ride to Columbia is going to be a nightmare in general but especially since he slammed the five hour energy.

Kevin is the reason for the hold-up and the reason that FF gets 80 more laps around the house. He’s reminding them that they can’t stop exercising just because it’s a break gesturing to himself and the 20 minutes of squats that he just did to burn off the pie and then to FF who passes a window for the 10th time since this conversation started “See FF is keeping up with his fitness. Be more like him.”

Wymack eventually drags Kevin out of the house and into his car since they’re spending the break together. He flashes FF a thumbs up as FF passes and FF (unaware as always but great at mimicking social cues) gives him a thumbs up back.

It’s then that they get into the car. FF (as is the way of the world) is sitting bitch with Aaron and Nicky on either side of him.

Captain Neil is up front and starts to play some music. Both Nicky and Aaron are conked out before they even reach the entrance to the interstate. They have also slumped onto FF with Aaron asleep on his shoulder and Nicky drooling into his hair.

“You can just shove them off.” Andrew says.

“It’s fine.” FF says reminiscing about the last time he’d had something like this.

20 minutes later it’s not fine because the five hour energy is definitely kicking in but it would be so rude to move and wake Nicky and Aaron up. Nicky is probably tired because he came to check on FF five different times the night before and kept dragging him away from whatever Saw movie he was taking notes on and Aaron ate a LOT of white meat so he’s filled to the brim with tryptophan.

But he thinks he’s about to vibrate out of his skin.

He closes his eyes to try and breathe through this when.

“Smith said that we can try and recreate his grandma’s pie. We’ll just have to do a grocery run tomorrow.” Captain Neil says in Russian.

“It was good pie.” Andrew returns in the same language.

“He said that the secret ingredient is grandmotherly love.”

“It was on the recipe card. It said for best results be sure to add throughout the baking process.”

“His grandma said whipped cream was a good replacement. That it goes great with the pie.”

Uh-oh

FF knows that tone.

FF has fled across campus, the bus, the dorm room, and (one one notable occasion) the locker room when he has heard that tone coming from Captain Neil.

“Pie isn’t the only thing it will enhance the flavor of.” Andrew says back and FF feels as the car speeds up.

FF wishes that Andrew would just hurry up and crazy murder him already. He’d take the reverse bear trap over this psychological torture. He wants to pull up his phone and read if the Geneva Conventions list this as a war crime.

NEXT

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion​ @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie

#Fluent Freshman AU #Even I couldn't bring myself to write the next hour of Andrew and Neil getting one another excited #Just imagine Fluent Freshman in this car #Body full of five hour energy #Trapped between two sleeping cousins #He can't sleep and he can't move #But he knows EXACTLY what Captain Neil and Andrew are planning to do with some poor unknowing can of whipped cream #Does the fact that he knows Andrew will be preoccupied give him any mental relief? #No it does not #because what if they do sexy stuff to get hyped up for murdering him as a couple activity #He's heard weirder from the two of them at this point #AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG AU #Andreil #FF - Pt. 10

[ssareids-coffee]

Unrequited

hotch x reader series [part 3]

part one | part two

With the help of your friends, you were settling into motherhood. You loved your babies so much, even more than you thought you would but being a single parent was hard. When you looked at Arlo, he looked so much like Jack did when he was a baby, whereas Maeve was the spitting image of you. Sleepless nights, countless feeds and not knowing which of their bodily fluids that stain in your shirt belonged to was unbelievably hard- but worth it. Mae was the first to talk, her first word being “mama” and Arlo quickly following with the same. The sweet giggles and babbling when they see you and how happy they are just made all of the doubts you had, not only about the pregnancy but doing it yourself, disappear.

You spent 10 months at home with them, popping into the hospital for their checkups and stopping to talk to your friends as they cooed over your babies. Although you loved spending time with them, money was getting short and you missed surgeries- so you made the difficult decision to go back to work. After researching all the local nurseries, you selected this perfect little one attached to a school to make the transition easier when the time came. It felt horrible leaving them there, but they seemed to love spending time with the other children and it allowed you to focus on something other than being a mum.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

You were called to the pit to collect an emergency case to take straight to surgery, and the last person you expected to see what Aaron’s colleague, Derek Morgan on the table. Looking up to see who is with him you saw Aaron alongside the rest of his team- thankfully you didn’t have any time to think about what to say to him as you were rushing Derek into surgery. 8 hours of operating later, he was going to pull through, you walk out into the waiting area to find the team to tell them the good news.

“It was touch and go for a minute but he’s going to be just fine, when the anaesthetic wears off you are more than welcome to visit, i’ll get one of the nurses to tell you what room he ended up in” you smile softly, penelope pulling you into a huge hug as she cried tears of joy.

“Thank you oh my god y/n, i miss you, how are you?” she guahes quickly after pulling away.

“i’m fine” you replied quickly, your gaze moving to meet Aaron’s which had not left you.

“Y/N, can we talk?” you froze, there was no way you could speak to Aaron. You were too angry, to hurt and you knew you couldn’t keep it together.

“No, we aren’t doing this Aaron. You made it very clear you wanted nothing to do with me, you don’t get to pick and choose when this suits you.” his team look around uncomfortably as they wait for his reply, but before he could say anything one of the nurses ran over to you with your phone.

“Dr y/l/n? the nursery are on the phone, apparently Mae has a temperature?” she hands you the phone and walks away quickly.

“Hi, this is y/n, is she okay?” everything else in the room melting away as you became so concerned about your babies “She has a temp? Could you give her some medicine and i’ll come get him asap, im just finishing up here. Tell her mommy loves him ok!” you hang up quickly, placing your phone in your scrub pocket and looking up to find the entire BAU (bar morgan of course) staring at you with wide eyes.

“uh, who is Mae?” penelope asked hesitantly.

“I have to go” turning and walking away before they could ask anymore questions.

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *  Aaron’s POV･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

you walked away and left him standing there with his team, who were awkwardly exchanging gazes after your outburst.

“Aaron, what happened to you both?” rossi asked quietly, ushering him to the corner of the waiting room so they could talk more privately.

"not here Dave, we can talk about this in my office later"

after they had visited Morgan once he was awake, Rossi and Aaron left the hospital and headed back to the BAU under the guise of paperwork. closing the door quietly behind him, Rossi sat down in front of Aarons desk waiting for him to speak.

"I slept with her" sighing as he placed his head into his hands.

"You did?" shock evident in Rossi's voice.

"Before we went to that case in Virginia, when I got the call I was asleep next to her" rubbing the back of his neck as he recalls that night "I told her it was a mistake, I text y/n and said that I couldn't see her anymore- that I was going to try things with Haley for Jacks sake"

"What a load of good that did you" Rossi scoffed "You love her though? You always have Aaron, it was obvious."

"I do, I know I fucked it all up and there's nothing I can do- Dave I think she has a kid now, that call from a nursery? Saying that Mummy loves her?" he sits quietly, standing up before Rossi can say anything else. 'I need to ho pick up Jack, please keep this between us okay?"

"You have my word Aaron"

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *  Your POV･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

You clocked left the hospital as soon as you could, waiting till Derek was awake just to check over all his vitals, slipping out before you could see Aaron or his team again. Changing into a simple pair of jeans and vest top you headed out the pick up the twins from nursery. Arriving quickly, you buzzed the intercom and let them know you were there and sat down on a bench while you waited.

"Y/N" you froze, it sounded like Aaron, raising your head slowly to find him standing in front of you.

"Aaron? What are you doing here?" you ask hesitantly, brushing a loose piece of hair away from your face.

"Uh- I'm picking up Jack from school" clearly flustered by your unexpected presence.

'Oh, of course its three! I am always running on hospital time so my times are always off" laughing softly as you smile at him.

"I remember, you once turned up to my house after work at 5 am because you didn't realise how early it was" he laughs and it makes your heart ache- you missed his laugh and you missed him. "What are you doing here?" before you could reply one of the nursery workers walks out of the door with your babies in their arms. They both start babbling excitedly when they see you occasionally shouting "mama" which never fails to make your heart soar. You take them in your arms, kissing them both on the forehead before thanking the person who bought them out.

"Hi babies, mummy missed you, oh both so happy" smiling down at them as they excitedly babble and smile.

"They are yours?" Aaron asks, clearly shocked.

"Yes, they are" looking up at him quickly to gage his reaction. He looks sad, a small smile on his lips as he looks down as how happy your babies are to see you.

"Wow, I thought you wanted to wait before having kids, for your career?"

"Yeah well plans changed" you smile "Its hard working such a high stress job and being a single mum but I love them so much I wouldn't change a thing"

"Single mum? Their dads not around?"

"No, its just me" before he could reply again, Jack ran out of a classroom and into his dads arms.

"goodbye Aaron" looking into his eyes before slowly walking away.

Tag list-

@the-mouse27

@realdirectionx

@angelmather1

@ana-kat-evergreen

@elhotchner

@sunandmoonchild158

#aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotch series #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotchner #Aaron hotchner unrequited

[cloudlessly-light]

The greatest thing that I have achieved  9/10

Chapter title: Lay your heart on me Summary: After Haley’s death, Aaron isn’t sure how to move on from the grief. Then one night, months later he finds himself falling into bed with Emily, his best friend and that changes everything. Word Count: 2,3k Rating: Explicit Warnings for this chapter: Grief, pregnancy, feelings, fluff, 

 Aaron wakes up early, too early really since it’s still dark out. He looks at the clock on the nightstand and suppresses a groan when he realizes that it’s not even 5am yet. Then he turns to look on the other side of the bed and he smiles at Emily’s sleeping form beside him.

It’s been three weeks since she told him that she loved him, three weeks of him getting to kiss and touch and sleep next to her. He didn’t remember the last time he felt so blissfully happy, didn’t ever think he’d ever be able to feel like this again. His eyes move over her face, soft and relaxed and he wants to kiss her, but he doesn’t in fear of waking her up so he settles for watching her for a few minutes.

He watches the gentle rise and fall of her chest, watches her belly that’s stretching his shirt that she’s wearing, watches how even in her sleep she keeps her hand over her stomach, as if she’s protecting their child. Then she stirs, eyebrows furrow and he knows she’s about to wake up so he moves closer, pressing up against her.

“You’re watching me again.” She mumbles, voice raspy but her tone teasing even as she keeps her eyes closed.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He presses a kiss to her forehead and she sighs, content at feeling the warmth of his body against hers. “But that’s not what woke you up.”

“Your kid better be cute, it feels like she’s salsa dancing on my bladder.” She smiles when she hears him laugh, still reluctant to open her eyes.

“Only two months to go.” He’s not surprised when she grunts. She was getting tired of being pregnant, tired of staying back at Quantico during cases, she was restless and at the same time exhausted.

“Like I said, she better be real fucking cute.” She gets out of bed with a huff and tries to ignore the way he smiles at her, his eyes filled with love.

 *

 “When did I agree to a baby shower?” Emily huffs as Penelope tugs her along up the driveway to their house.

“Don’t think of it as a baby shower, think of it as friends getting together.” JJ says on the other side of her, bags in both of her hands.

“You’re fooling no one.” Emily mutters as they open the door. She isn’t surprised when they reach the living room and the walls are decorated with banners and balloons, what did surprise her though was when Penelope had time to decorate all of it. She looks around at the team, Jessica and Jack among them and then turns to JJ. “You were saying?” She watches as JJ only shrugs.

“Just be glad I talked Pen out of the unicorn theme.”

She doesn’t get to respond, Jack and Aaron making their way towards them before she can. They hadn’t told the team yet, even though it had been a month since they officially got together, wanting to enjoy a few weeks of each other before the knowing smiles and comments started.

“Is this Peanut’s birthday party?” Jack asked as he sat perched on his father’s shoulders.

“No honey.” She laughs right along with the other adults. “This is a baby shower, Peanut’s birthday will be when she’s here.”

Aaron lifts him from his shoulders to put him down and gives Emily a smile.

“How are you feeling?” They hadn’t seen each other in two days, the team having been away on a case.

“Like I’m 35 weeks pregnant.” She ignores the itch to touch him, sees that he’s struggling just as much from the way his eyes are darting all over her face and his fingers flex.

“Daddy you haven’t kissed her hello.” Jack says as he continues to look up at them expectantly. For weeks now, every time one of them walked away or came home they had kissed and he couldn’t figure out why they hadn’t now.

The sound of Jack’s innocent voice makes the room quiet down. There’s raised eyebrows and smiles and Aaron is the first to break the silence that stretches out.

“You’re right, buddy.” He smiles at his son and then takes Emily hand as he leans down to kiss her, a gentle press of his lips against hers that she smiles into. When they pull apart, Aaron’s arm wraps around her waist and they turn to their friends still watching them.

It’s another few seconds of silence and then Derek steps forward, a huge grin on his face.

“So, that’s it? That’s all we’re getting?” He teases and it seems to set of a chain reaction of laughs and cheers and mutters of finally across the room.

“It’s what you’re getting for now.” Emily tells them as she leans into his side. “Any other questions can wait until certain people are asleep.” Her eyes move to Jack who rolls his eyes dramatically.

“Let’s get started on presents, and then we’ll eat.” Aaron suggests and just like that, everybody moves on. Emily doesn’t miss the way Dave pats Aaron on the back or the way Penelope is basically vibrating with joy.

It was weird, how she at one point thought that getting pregnant would tear them all apart, but as it turned out, it only brought them closer.

 *

 Emily stirs as she sleeps, at first unsure of what has woken her up. She opens her eyes and turns to look at Aaron, but he’s fast asleep beside her, arm thrown over her waist as she lays on her side. Then she feels it, a dull ache in her lower back. She’s been feeling ready for weeks, but as she realizes the contractions have started, she can’t help but to feel scared, worry quicky nestling in her chest.

She takes a steadying breath, knows that it will be hours to go and there wasn’t any reason to panic. She’s read all the books, knows that the best thing is to try and relax but how could she?

“Emily?”

She isn’t surprised when he wakes up, almost like he’s feeling her worry as he looks down at her.

“Are you alright?” He sees the way she forces a smile, can see the strain in her jaw as she clenches.

“I’m okay. I just- I think my contractions has started.” She grabs his hand before he has the chance to jump out of bed. “It’s early, don’t panic.”

Her words make him stop and he can see that she’s trying to stay calm. Emily had never liked not knowing what to expect, had mumbled about being nervous about giving birth and he knows that he has to stay calm, for her. So he lays back down, puts his hand over her straining stomach and kisses her neck.

“She’s going to be here soon, and you won’t be able to imagine how much you love her.” He whispers against her ear and Emily interlocks their fingers.

“I’m only at 38 weeks.” She knows logically that there isn’t any danger, but as much as she had prepared, how her doctor told her that she’d probably give birth before the due date, she still felt anxious. She turned onto her back and looked at Aaron, his face gentle and some of that anxious energy faded. He was her safe space and she knew that he’d be the one thing to keep her calm.

“She wants to meet you, she’s impatient like her mother.” He kisses her forehead as she chuckles, he feels her relax some.

“It’s going to be a long night.”

 *

 “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” Emily screams as she pushes in a hospital bed clenching Aaron’s finger hard enough that he thinks they’re going to break. “I can’t believe I let you do this to me!” She had refused medication, much to Aaron’s dismay but he hadn’t complained once, even when she yelled at him repeatedly.

“You’re doing so good honey.” He tries soothing her, hates how much pain she’s in and when she looks at him with tears streaming down her face he gently brushes a couple from her cheek. “You’re almost there.” His eyes move to the OB that nods with a reassuring smile.

Emily looks into his eyes, kind and gentle even after she’s screamed every profanity in every language she knows at him and she nods with a sob.

“I don’t hate you.” She mumbles before another contraction starts, making her scream out. “No fuck that, in this moment I do and I know it’ll be worth it when she’s here but fuck you Aaron Hotchner!”

Aaron nods along, doesn’t take offense because he knows that she’s just trying to deal with the pain in any way she can. He pushes some hair away from her sweaty face, presses his forehead against her temple carefully.

“Only a little more.” He promises, his voice quiet and calm and she cries out, exhausted and in pain as she slumps back in the bed.

“One last push Emily, then your baby will be here.” The doctor continues and Aaron watches how she forces herself to sit back up again and grip his hand even harder. She pushes, screams and swears and when she falls back against the bed again the sound of a baby crying fills the room.

Aaron kisses her, not realizing he’s crying as well until she’s wiping tears from his face with her thumb.

“You did so good, I’m so proud of you, I love you so much.” He mumbles quietly as the nurses clean the baby off.

“I love you too.” She pulls him into another kiss and then turns to the doctor handing her their baby. Emily’s eyes fasten on her daughter, small and fragile, still crying and for a moment she think her smile will tear her face apart. “Hi sweetheart, it’s mommy,” she shifts the baby towards Aaron “and that’s daddy.”

“She looks just like you Em.” He can’t look away from his daughter who’s calming in her mom’s embrace.

“You think?” She whispers, fresh tears falling from her eyes.

“Carbon copy.” He smiles and she laughs, then winces.

“Don’t make me laugh, jerk.”

 *

 Emily sits in the hospital bed cradling her daughter in her arms. Aaron had gone to pick up Jack from school and for the first time since giving birth she was alone. She looks down at the little face looking back at her, brown eyes and a full head of hair. Emily smiles, Aaron had been right, she couldn’t believe how much she loved her daughter.

There’s a soft knock on the door and she looks up just as Derek pokes his head in.

“Can I come in?” He asks and she nods. Derek might have been the one protesting the loudest at them in the beginning, putting a strain on their relationship, but since the initial shock he had been her biggest supporter, always looking after her if Aaron for some reason couldn’t be with her. She watches as his eyes fell onto Ally and she was sure she didn’t imagine the way his eyes glinted.

“Don’t get emotional on me Morgan, my hormones can’t handle it.”

“Me emotional? Never.” He smiles as she chuckles and shifts on the bed, wincing slightly at the ache in her body.

“Do you want to hold your goddaughter?” She asks then and the smile falls from his face and is replaced with a look of doubt.

“My what?”

“Your goddaughter.” She waits as the emotions cross his face, a huge, beaming smile being the last one.

“Really?” He laughs as he takes the baby from her, his large hands so gentle as he holds her against his chest.

“Really.” Emily quickly wipes a tear away as she watches Derek look down at her daughter. She sees how careful he is, how small she looks as he holds her with one arm and softly strokes her cheek with a finger.

“Hi Peanut, it’s your godfather, that’s right I’m going to be the one teaching you everything your parents’ wont.” He winks at Emily who shakes her head in return. When he looks back at the baby his face is suddenly serious. “Thank you.”

“There was never anybody else, Derek.”

 Haley,

Allison Prentiss Hotchner was born at 1:04pm, and she’s beautiful. She’s a splitting image of her mother and I know that I’m in trouble because I can’t imagine ever denying her anything. Jack is in love with his baby sister, doesn’t really want to leave her side even though (and these are his words) ‘she’s kind of boring’.

Emily’s doing great, taking to motherhood like a fish to water, but I already knew that. I know she had her doubts about her abilities as a mom, but I never did.

I wish you would have met her, I wish you could see the way Jack lights up when he talks about her, want you to know that I know that you would love and spoil her if you were here. I know that you were there with us, looking out for Ally and Emily, I felt your presence. That sounds crazy, and I never used to believe in that kind of stuff, but ever since you died, I have moments when I feel you.

I want you to know that we’re okay, for the first time I can truly say that we’re okay. Jack will miss you forever, I still don’t go a day without thinking about you, but we’re okay. We’re doing more than just surviving, we’re living.

I love you, Haley, we love you and we miss you.

Aaron

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #hotchniss fanfic #hotch x emily #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #Criminal Minds Fanfiction

[84hotpockets]

I Can’t Get No Sleep

Just a little something that took up too much space in my brain. No warnings, gen. audiences, implied hotchgan, insomnia.

If sleep was for the weak, he probably should have changed careers years ago and become a strongman for some travelling sideshow. Two or three hours, four if he was lucky, that was all his mind and body were willing to give him. The nightmares were part of the problem, but nothing he couldn’t handle. The far bigger problem was his body. After years of abuse, getting shot, beaten, stabbed, garroted, blown up, thrown down stairs, and basically dying, every day presented a new - or sometimes very familiar - problem. Some nights he lay awake shivering despite the two duvets and heating blanket. Other nights he got so hot, he had to kick each and every blanket off the bed. Only to put them back 10 minutes later when his body decided that a 85 degree Floridian night was too cold to survive without at least three layers on top of him.

Sure, his doctor had prescribed some very good sleeping aides, but they were so effective that the one time he took them on a case, he woke up to three of his agents almost breaking down the door to his hotel room because he didn’t show up for breakfast, wasn’t already at the local precinct and didn’t answer his phone. All of them remembered what had happened the last time no one could reach him.

Another problem were those hotel and motel mattresses. Some of them so soft he felt as if he was drowning, others so firm that the carpeted floor felt more comfortable than the bed. At least in this regard, he wasn’t alone with his complaints. More often than not, Reid, Rossi or JJ blamed this specific part of their accommodations when they downed the 4th cup of coffee at breakfast.

At home, things were better. He kept the bedroom at a constant temperature, his mattress was almost perfect, the nightly noises were familiar, and yet often enough sleep eluded him. When all the tricks and remedies he knew didn’t help - taking a walk, a bath, warm milk, tea, counting sheep, and everything else imaginable - and he knew that he needed the sleep, there was one thing that always worked like a charm.

So, once again, he stood in front of the by now very familiar door, a sleeping Jack cradled against his shoulder, hoping for the two inhabitants to welcome him and his son in. When the door opened and the warm air and familiar smells engulfed him in a hug of familiarity, he immediately felt more relaxed.

“That kind of night, huh?”

He nodded.

“Ok, you know the drill.”

A tired smile was answer enough for Derek. He took Jack out of Aaron’s arms and carried the still sleeping boy into his makeshift bedroom. When he returned to the master bedroom, Hotch was already in the bed with Clooney acting simultaneously as protector, weighted blanket and heating pack. A combination that never ceased to work its magic powers. In the time it took Derek to turn off the light and get comfortable, Hotch was already asleep.

“Good job, Clooney.”

The dog’s wagging tail was the last thing that registered in his mind before he too drifted off.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #clooney the dog #hotchgan #fanfiction #insomnia #accidentally deleted the first post while trying to edit a thing 🙄

[boldlyvoid]

Bigger than the whole sky??? Do share???

anything for you bestie!!

She brings Tara back into the bullpen just as JJ is leaving her office and rushing over to Aarons, she sees Y/N and Tara and shouts over to them. “We have a 10-year-old girl who was just abducted from a park in Wauwatosa!” 

“Shit, okay,” Y/N stops dead in her tracks. “I’ll continue the tour later… Anderson,” she shouts over to him. “Can you grab Penny and Luke, and tell them to meet us in the briefing room? Tara and I will meet them there,” she orders and pulls Tara towards the other set of stairs towards the round table. 

Y/N cleans the older files off the table and powers up the presentation board, she logs onto the computer it’s attached to and searches the system for abductions in Wauwatosa so they can read over the file quickly while the plane gets ready. CARD already has a case going with everything they know. She loads it up and starts reading over it as fast as she can with Tara doing the same as she takes a seat at the round table. 

The team is quick to fill the room, they discuss what little they know and then JJ gets a call from the pilot to tell her that they’re ready to board. “Okay, we gotta go,” JJ says as she hangs up. 

Derek, Tara, Luke and JJ all rush out the door to grab their things while Aaron takes a minute to say goodbye to Y/N. He wraps her up in a hug and cups her face in one hand as he pulls back, his other hand gently rubs on her belly, “I love you, both of you.” 

“Be safe,” she begs. “Come home to us.” 

He nods, leaning in to kiss her. He breathes her in, holding her in a kiss and then just as she thinks he’s pulling away for good, he kisses her again and again. She can feel everyone watching them through the briefing room window, but she doesn’t really care. She keeps kissing him, smiling slightly, she loves how affectionate he gets before he has to go. When he does eventually pull away, he sighs. “I love you. Now, you call me if you need me, okay?” 

“Okay,” she can’t help but smile. “Go save the day, superman.” 

He hesitates to keep going but he knows the plane is waiting for them and he still has to grab his bag from his office. But fuck it, he thinks. He pulls her in for one last kiss and then he’s off. 

She follows him out of the briefing room, he’s a lot faster than she is so hes leaps ahead of her, “I can text Jess from the plane or you can get Jack tonight?” 

“I can get him,” she offers, breathing heavily from walking so fast. “He has things at our house, he can stay with me until you get back.” 

At his office door, she watches him pick up his bag and search the room for his phone. He pats his side to ensure his gun is still there and pulls up his pant leg to check the other gun. He’s all good to go, so he lets out a sigh, his shoulders drop and his brow goes up as if to say, “I guess this is goodbye.” 

“Call me when you can, I love you,” she says one last time, stepping out of the door frame so he can squeeze past. 

He runs his free hand over her stomach as he moves past her, “I love you—” 

“Hotch, man, we get it, you’re in love, let's goooo,” Morgan says from the double glass doors, the teams already in the elevator, on their way down to the shuttle car that will take them to the runway. 

“Get going,” she scoots him along. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he complains as he runs down the little steps and heads off after Morgan. He turns back to her just before leaving the room, he blows her a kiss and then he’d gone. 

She just smiles, shaking her head, everyone is watching her with the same sweet look. It’s nice to see Aaron like this, having their boss in love has been a blessing, they appreciate this. He’s not as much of a hard ass anymore. 

“Back to work,” she teases everyone. 

She lets out a sigh, it’s weird when he’s not around. And instead of going back to sitting at her desk, she grabs her snacks and makes her way down to Penny’s office. Where she will stay for the remainder of the day. 

#bigger than the whole sky #ask #wip wednesday

[starlitangels]

10 First Lines, Thirty of Them Edition

So, initially I got tagged by @frenchiefitzhere​ and I did it. Then a few days later I got tagged by @romirola​, @konnorhasapen​, and @autisticempathydaemon​. And instead of just reblogging and tagging them like, “hey, I already did it!” I decided to be Extra™ (because my only two modes are apparently Extra™ and Lazy as F^&k™) and instead, give each of them ten more first lines from fics of mine.

Because... Idk if you know this, but there are two hundred and fifty two posts in my “#fic” tag. Meaning I could basically do this 25 times and still have stuff.

I’m not gonna link them all this time though because that would take forever.

So, let’s start with Romi’s 10 first lines! 

1. Falling Stars

“Min’Ara! E’Laetum!” a voice cried.

2. Worried

The moment Aaron got off the phone, I knew he was antsy.

3. Warped Smile

"Evening, sunshine,” a voice said as I stepped into my tiny apartment.

4. The First Morning

This wasn’t the first time I woke up in Elliott’s bed.

5. Coyote Problem

“Look! Horses!” Micah exclaimed, jerking against the belts of her carseat in the rearview mirror to look out the window.

6. Forever With You

“Oh, God, this feels so high school,” I whispered, twirling Vincent’s curl around my fingers.

7. High School Crush

“Y’know, one of these days you’re gonna actually have to talk to him,” Melissa said. 

8. The Wolf and the Bear

“I’m going to Uncle Vincent’s!” Micah shouted, thundering down the stairs in her bare feet.

9. Spitfire

“Why, why, why, why, why?” I complained.

10. Disconnect from the Details

This isn’t personal. You can’t make it personal, James thought sharply to himself.

—

Fun fun! Here’s Koob’s 10!

1. Sorry (Isn’t Enough)

I stood in front of the mirror, biting my lip.

2. How They Met (Good Boy Audios)

“Y’know, you’re really good at stuff like this. You should, like, run with a permanent crew,” Huginn said.

3. Recruited (Good Boy Audios)

The ruckus of the pub was normal, at this point.

4. Ask For Your Blessing

I clenched my fingers around my steering wheel for a second.

5. Parental Problems

“Have you spoken to your mother recently?” I asked as James and I folded laundry together.

6. Through the Years

I peered out the window, watching the moving van in the driveway of the house next-door.

7. Too Much “Practically Family” (Good Boy Audios)

I stood against the wall just around the corner, smiling to myself.

8. Keeping Cool (Good Boy Audios)

“Thank you for the update,” Tyr said to the guards.

9. Shards on the Counter

I gripped the edges of my sink, watching the blood from my nose drip onto the porcelain and leave trails toward the drain.

10. The Spare Room (Good Boy Audios)

“Hades? Oh, Hades?” the beautiful, familiar voice singsonged softly.

—

Aaaaand here’s Lexi’s 10 first lines!

1. Meeting the Family

Avior held a hand out, catching one of the fat snowflakes falling on his free palm and watching it melt against his skin.

2. The King (Pin the Crown On) - Part 2

Vega leaned against the wall in the private, small room off from the main audience hall.

3. Somewhere Only We Know

Avior walked across the empty land around him.

4. Hoodie

Moonbeams filtered through the open blinds of the living room windows and onto the sleeping form of AJ when Gabe slipped into the house.

5. His Mama’s Boy

Crying in the nursery, also audible over the baby monitor, jolted AJ out of her sleep.

6. Headstone

David had been silent for the last few minutes of the drive.

7. Not-Yet Alpha, Not-Yet Mate - Part 4 I’ll skip the rest

Two black wolves ran through the dark forest.

8. Someone Like Me

Three days after the Inversion, I yanked open the door to the Department office.

9. My Angel (Sent to Save Me)

David jerked the truck’s gear shift into Park and stared across the front yard at the front door.

10. Handy Wolf

Incoming Call... Bossman 🐺

I snatched my phone. “Hey David, what’s up?” I asked.

—

Extra™ enough for you? Hope so! Hope you enjoyed!

#tag game #first line tag game

[linn-94]

Chapter 10: Come what may

He looked absolutely stunning. Light denim jeans, white sweater and white Converse. In both his hands he was holding coffee cups.

He walked towards me and handed me one of the coffee cups. "I got the one you had when we walked through the city." he said. "Thought you might like it."

"Thank you so much Aaron!" I responded.

I liked that he was so thoughtful.

"Shall we go inside?" He asked.

"You mean through stagedoor? Am I even allowed?"

"You're with me silly and it's not like you've never been backstage here."

"No, I know. But that was practically only your dressingroom."

"Yes, and now you get to go through stagedoor with me, come on." He said and took my hand.

He pulled me inside stagedoor.

He walked directly onto the stage and I followed him.

"Wow! This is amazing!" I said in awe of what I saw. There was no special decor on yet, but it still was amazing.

"Yeah it's great right?" He said.

"Aaron, this is crazy. This is what you guys see every night? I didn't realise it was so big!"

"I know, sometimes I still have the same feeling as you do."

He took my hand again "Let me show you the rest of the backstage." He said.

He showed me around all behind the stage, every dressingroom and every hallway. I got to see Ashley's dressingroom. She wasn't there yet, but it was beautiful. I was hoping I would meet her sometime. I got to see all the costumes from the cast, the wigs everything. When we were done, we went back to Aaron's dressingroom.

"Why don't you make yourself at home. I'll have to take care of something real quick and then I'm back." Aaron said.

He walked out of the room and I walked around in his dressingroom. Taking everything in. I looked at all the fanart he had on his mirror, he even had his costumes hanging in his dressingroom. I felt at home in this room. It was cosy. I sat down on the couch that was in his dressingroom.

I took my phone out and took a selfie. I decided to send it to Melissa to see if she knew where I was.

A few minutes later Aaron came back and laughed at how I was laying down comfortably at his couch.

"You ok there Wilson?" He asked mocking.

"I'm perfectly allright Tveit, thank you for asking." I said teasing.

"I can see you're feeling at home on my couch, but I need you to get up and follow me." He said.

"Oh do I need to get out already?" I asked.

"No I'm gonna take you somewhere and I think you are going to like it." He said.

Aaron walked out of his room again and I followed him. We walked onto the stage again, but this time there was the decor of the 'Come what may' scene.

I was in awe again and Aaron could see that.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"Like it? Aaron I freaking love it! I'm standing on stage in a decor."

Aaron walked into the wings and got two mics. He put one of the mics on me.

"W... w.. what are you doing?" I asked confused.

"I'm giving you a mic so you can sing." He said calmly.

"But I have never sung on a stage before.. only in the shower. Let alone for a Broadway actoren." I said anxious.

"No buts, you know the song 'Come what may' right?"

"Y.. yes I do."

"Perfect!" He said.

He put the other mic on himself and gave a sign to a man in the back of the house that he could start the music.

Aaron started singing and the only thing I could do was look at him. Here he was, standing right in front of me. Singing one of my favorite songs from the musical. And he expected me to sing the lines that Satine had to sing in this song.

I was in trance until I heard him sing the following lines.

Seasons may change winter to spring. But I love you until the end of time.

Come what may.. come what may. I will love you, until my dying day.

Omg I freaked out, it was my time to sing. I looked into Aaron's eyes and he looked back and smiled. It was calming me down and I went for it.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace.

Aaron took my hands, looked me in the eyes and started singing again.

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

It all revolves around you.

We started singing together what I thought was in perfect harmony. When singing Aaron kept looking at me with a twinkle in his eyes still holding my hands and I was the happiest I had ever been.

When we got to come what may again. He turned me around with my back against him and he held me tight.

Then he let go of me again so that we were facing each other. He brought me to the sofa that was behind me and I sat down on it with my knees. He did the same.

We kept singing while looking deep into each others eyes. Like nothing was around us and like we were the only people there. There was a tension, a good tension, a hot tension.

We sang the last come what may and then it happened. He cupped my face in both of his hands, and after we sang the last words to the song, he kissed me!

#moulin rouge broadway #fanfiction #aaron tveit #aaron tveit fiction #aarontveitfanfiction #aarontveitfiction #broadway #aaron tveit imagine #ricky rojas #imagine