#AND AT THIS POINT IM FUCKING TIRED AND IVE BEEN ALREADY DOING FUCKING SHIT FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS SO OBVIOUSLY IM PISSED

[r029]

I miss when things actually meant things.. Back in the day, relationships actually meant relationships. Love actually meant love. But now.. it's just what people classify things as things that are Ultimately useless and pointless. Getting to know people, actually meant getting to know people without any ulterior motives or at least not as much as now. Now everything's a game, of how to play people, who can manipulate better.. like what the fuvk? What is the fucking point anymore? Why even bother? It's all a waste of time.

#there is no point anymore. no one cares and no one tries. no one tries to actually be themselves. no on tries in putting in effort. #if someone does the bare minimum its groundbreaking. and thats fucking sad. things were supposed to evolve but it just disintegrated. #im not meant to be in this generation. #everyone is so close minded and brainwashed into thinking stupidity. no one thinks for themselves anymore. #everything is failing. #and i have to exist and watch it happen because its everywhere and you cant get away from it. #i wish i had an endless supply of drugs to ignore it.. but whats the point of that? because at the end of the day nothing changes. #and then once the drugs wear off.. it all hits me twenty times harder.. #and its only way to not want to kill myself.. but theres no reason to be here and endure this shit. #my mother shouldve drowned me harder 😔 #everything is curated to what you want to see. to what you want to believe. its all just fake. #i despise the promiscuous posts ive put out when i feel the complete opposite.. and yet im deluded enough to think why shit doesnt #doesnt work out for me? I think.. im so accustomed to not being believed and never taken seriously and felt as if i did that #its like my way of saying “youre right” but now im doing it and really making it a reality that can no longer be taken back. #whats done is done. whats happened has happened. and now i cant seem to care about much of anything anymore.. #all because the people who were supposed to help.. didn't. the Teachers. the Principals. the Doctors. the Therapists. the Psychiatrists. #the Attorneys. the Judges. “Child Protective Services” and so many more. just didn't fucking care or try. until it was already too late #and the damage had been done. #im so fucking tired..

[ozlices]

i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person

#mine #i rly do not have it in me to make appointments dawg i have medical trauma can i get used to one new doctor #before im tossed around like a gd hot potato to numerous others. i literally attend my appointments w my cane #what's not clicking abt me having VERY fucking low energy in the aftermath of sm straining stress bruh #but like i dont have a choice bc i could have some of my meds stopped if i dont see certain doctors & im just here like 🫠 #i feel somewhat stupid like damn i rly thought finally i had a chill doctor w common sense but no i still gotta fight for my gd life #just be given say over MY OWN GODDAMN WELLBEING #'oh well this causes physical health concerns' to be completely blunt idfc anymore. #truly i fucking do not #my body is a fucking nightmare my entire system resents at this point bc we always have some lvl of bs going on w it #we've no choice but to stop fucking caring bc the numerous mental strains we're dealing w worsen them ON THEIR OWN #& also like literally fuck off bc my body wouldn't be this shit if doctors actually TOOK CARE OF ME PROPERLY #before it got this bad. #there's no fucking fixing shit now by worsening my already overwhelmed & strained body/mind by making me a gd hot potato #if im not Actively Perishing or on the immediate brink of the risk IDC #I NEED TO FUCKING BE ALLOWED TO //CHILL THE EVER LOVING FUCK OUT// #//that// SHOULD BE THE PRIORITU #ive been strained for YEARS but esp since last year to a CONSTANT degree #can i fucking get one GODDAMN foot on the ground to pick myself back up jfc #im so tired & annoyed & sick of there always being SOMETHING #i just wanna fucking chill & finish my preps to stream again & get back to pursuing what i love please #im gonna LOSE MY MIND

[verdemoth]

mm goin through the horrors. the horrors are bad i can’t recommend the horrors.

#my city is about to burn !! hard to say how bad it will be. but at this point damage looks likely #the fire is very unpredictable and growing and strong winds will push it this way tomorrow #my home will probably be safe. im beside the lake. it’d have to chew through the whole city to reach me #but i’m still scared for family who live closer and all the thousands of people under evacuation orders already #half the city is on evacuation alert. state of emergency declared #my province is on fire #it gets worse every year #this summer was a series of severe alerts. fiercer thunderstorms. hotter heat waves. smoke from dozens of fires #i’m not a pessimist. but at times like this. man. its hard to see a future that gets better #☹️ #i’m so. angry that it’s gotten this bad. i feel very violent abt the people who let this happen. the ones who had a say in it . #ive also been feeling extra shit physically lately and this smoke is not helping the return of my chronic cough #half of my organs are fucked up at any given time and years of seeking answers has yet to provide anything substantial #its bad. it’ll probably end up ok and many people are having it worse but fuck it’s all bad rn. #theres nothing to do about it right now. and i’ll have to try and get some sleep. too many insomnia nights recently. #just needed to yell into the void. get out some of the stress #ghhhhhhhgggghhhhh ok. gonna go find distractions until this body gets tired enough

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#fucking therapy dont work meds dont work talking to anyone doesnt fucking work nothing fucking works #nothing is worth god damn anything and i want none of it and there is no such bloody god damn fucking thing as a moment of #comfort in this fucking world im so fucking done i actually wish i could just cut my own throat #by this point though. i think ive figured out that a herion od would probably be the easiest way to kill this body #i want none of this anymore. none of this none of it #i cant fucking do it #what the fuck would be so bad anyway #my therapist no longer has fucking answers or anything to tell me which actually feels convincing or comforting #YoUr pArEntS LiVes WiLl bE RuInED i literally dont give a shit how about that #how about im fucking tired of living just because of some variation of this #this isnt even fucking living #i might as well have already been dead for so long that itd make no difference

[androidemotions]

I wish like anyone wanted to talk to me..

#the only reason my relationship with my therapist has lasted as long as it has is because i literally pay her. #im just like lonely and i know like maybe im not the best at seeking out contact its just like #ive been ostrcized and ghosted and ignored so many times before it starts to just feel like whats the point of reaching out you know? #like whats the point when im really not gonna ever be anybodies priority #like i broke my fucking wrist and i didnt tell anybody about it #because i felt so much like shit already and i didnt want to have to beg someone to care #whatever im still fucking here despite it im just . lonely sometimes and a lot of the time i think it is my own doing #that i just isolate myself and hold nyself back from being genuine with people #but its so hard #and i just get so tired #vent /

[urostakako]

.

#i really cant do this anymore i dont know what to do #i just want someone to listen to me i want someone to understand but i cant make anyone listen to me or understand #im a selfish person but everything ive done is for them. i did everything to go against my nature i did everything to not want anything #i dont care about anyone or anything i dont even care about myself. everything for them. and its not enough #ive been good i think. i havent been selfish. all i wanted was for them to be happy and have a good life and maybe if im lucky mine #will get cut short so i dont have to drag myself through all of this but its not enough apparently to do everything i can for them #its not enough to get the best grades and never go out and never talk about my problems and never ask for anything #i have to want something for my future too? how is that fair. everything for you and you say it was all worthless and wasteful #and everything i did is for fucking nothing and im stupid and telling me shit i already know #you dont have to tell me my hobbies and my likes are for nothing i already know. i asked you for your opinion because everything is for you #my life is for you and i asked you if my choices were okay because your opinion matters over everything #didnt you think there was a reason why i always ask you what you want and what you like? but i was being selfish? #theres no point trying to make you understand you just never will. theres no point talking to you #i can put myself in a position where im begging for help from you and you wont understand. you wont listen to me. you never have #youve never understood me when it mattered. you only ever loved me in the ways you know how and i never complained #i already gave my future to taking care of you because theres nothing else i can do. but somehow i make u feel bad for it. im being selfish #so i dont understand what you want me to do. ive always done everything you said. you tell me to shut up and i do. you tell me not to go out #and i dont. you want me to smile and do all these things i dont give a shit about and i do #and then you want me not to do any of these things? think about myself? make up your mind already #im so tired trying and trying to be a person you wont be disappointed by and i keep failing. nothing i do is good #and i cant talk to you about it or my brother or my cousins because they dont understand it. they never listen when it matters #fucking whatever #vent post #delete later #aricouldyounot

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

#ace attorney #ace attorney spoilers #dashboard simulator #dash simulator #dashboard sim #dash sim #unreality #fake dashboard #fake dash #post simulator #long post #average day on lawblr i think #'op what is the timeframe for this' not applicable people reblog 10 year old posts on here all the time /lh #but sometime after turnabout serenade. #'isn't one of these urls a real blog' yeah she wanted to be included /lh

[fagutt]

i am sane and normal and goign to smoke after this post to become even more sane and even more normal

#theres no point to stumbling my way through this and hoping i settle alright on the other side #i ruin everything i put my hands on - im terribly abusive and everyone is too afraid of me retaliating to say anything so theyre silent #i bitch and whine so much about how 'traumatized' i am meanwhile ive ruined the life of anyone thats known me for even a week #where do i get off acting like every 'abusive' situation ive been in Wasnt my fault and or karma for the way i treat others #no wonder im going to die alone! god i fucking deserve it! i chase off anyone good to me by being a toxic piece of shit #and anyone that stays just gets more and more worn down by me until theres nothing left of them and they ahve to leave too #im so tired of being an abusive friend to anyone that knows me i am jsut a terrible leech onto anyone thats ncie to me #i need to kms SOON so i can fucking stop i might [■■■] just bc i think thatd actually Work . n i need to find a place to do it #im realizing its a bit insensitive to do it in my room and my second choice was the park but thats also a bit insensitive so idk anywhere #theres gotta be a hiking trail thats close Enough but still isolated to the point that nobody would stumble on me before planned discovery #and then i can remove a negative impact from the lives of so many #i keep thinkign about burning myself instead of cutting but i liek . dont know Where to do it so i keep putting it off #im so sad i just want to be good and helpful and get loved in return i want to cry into someones chest rn #i am such a bad bad bad dog i deserve everything i get and worse tbh caus clearly my weak ass “”“”trauma“”“” is all made up #good god i need to get over myself and jsut commit already

[foreverxdaydreaming]

/neg

pretty much just a vent, you can keep scrolling and go about your way, nothin important here tbh. all the tw's are in the tags; always remember to filter the shit outta things, kids.👍🏻

#nothing like being mid mental breakdown and having [redacted] thoughts but knowing there's no one you can call #bc everyone's asleep or wouldn't answer/care anyway #....time to hope i can console myself enough to get any rest.. thank fuck i took tmrw off bc of stuff i needed to do alr #bc these hormones /plus/ my mental health lately? #sorry to vent so much here lately but like ...dont rly have anywhere else to #but i always tag shit so it may be avoided #im just so fucking tired of everything and feel so weary man.. im not even 30 and i feel like ive just about given up on everything already #like ive been trudging along since i was like 14/15 and it's just always felt muggy and shitty with minor breaks.... #i should prob get back to therapy at some point but my other one only helped sm... idc idc man #working and adulting has only made shit worse fr. stress is a nightmare and idk if my major/plans are gonna work out #i just dont think im cut out for anything im so painfully useless at like everything jfc.... #ugdhdhdhdhd #/neg #mental health tw #depression tw #anxiety tx #ideation tw #all sort of shit #also kinda sounds like im romanticizing [redacted] but like.... dont mean it that way i just rly want a break from always feeling like shit #(deep deep sigh) #vent/rant

[billgetsmewet]

Make-up S€x..

Bill Kaulitz

-MUTUALS WHO FLWD ME FOR FASHION PLS IGNORE THIS OMDS-

warnings : s€x , fighting/arguing, sad start (great end😊)

You were at your apartment, waiting for Bill to come home.

He was always getting home late nowadays, barely paying attention to you, even though you tried to let him know multiple times that you felt neglected.

He told you he would be home by 11pm on the dot, he sweared he wouldnt be late this time.

Wasnt a surprise that it was already 1am and he still wasnt in your sight.

Around 1:54am he barged in, not even saying hello, before dropping his bag and his jacked straight on the floor and going to bed.

He knew this bothered you but he couldnt give less of a shit.

You walked up to him, about to confront him, but he didnt even look at you, you were on the edge of breaking into tears.

You sat down next to him, trying to spit a word out of your mouth without crying.

“Bill..” you mumbled, your voice all quiet and shakey.

No reply.

“Bill!” you said, a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

“Oh for fucks sake, Bill!” you angered, raising your voice enough for him to finally look at you, but you could tell he was already tired of you talking to him.

“Bill..” you let out another mumble.

“What?” he replied harshly

“Talk to me..” you begged

He didnt even budge, he was too tired to make an effort.

“You said youd be home by 11.. its almost 2am..” you said, waiting for a reply… but he just stared at you.

Finally he sighed, replying.

“I got busy”

Why has he been so cold and ignoring..? you thought to yourself.

“I was worried” you whispered, almost breaking into tears on the spot, you knew he was lying, you knew he was just having fun with his friends.

“You should be used to it by now” he replied coldly, tearing your heart apart.

You couldnt hold it back anymore and you let the tears shed.

He sat up, snapping back to reality.

You walk out of the room, not wanting him to see you cry.

He follows.

You sit down on the couch in the livingroom, curling up.

He sits down next to you.

“L..listen.. i didnt mean to hurt you.. ive been busy.” he stuttered.

“Bill, i know youve just been out with your friends, i know damn fucking well youre not busy!” you cried.

“Ive been worrying my ass off, you sweared youd be home on time.. Im not your mom, i cant stop you from coming home late, but you can do the bare minimum and make an effort to be home the same day atleast!” you wiped your tears.

He sighs.

“Y/N i just want to live life until i can! im only young now!” he says.

“Bullshit.” you sigh. “You lie too, theres no point.”

“Bill, you have to understand im young too! And i happen to want to live my life with you! I make efforts, i dont want to beg for your love.”

He feels his heart break as you say that.. did he really hurt you that much?

“Im.. im..” he couldnt seem to get the words out of his mouth..

You zip your sweater down, youre getting hot from crying so much, and Bills body heat is making you feel hotter.

He looks at you as if he saw an angel fly by, you looked gorgeous, but he knew he shoudlnt focus on that, however his eyes were gkued to your chest.

“Im..” he mumbles.

“Youre what, Bill? Is it really that fucking hard?” you mumble, not loud enough to make it clear to him what you said..

“W-what..?! I-Im not.. hard? I..” he tried fighting down what he thought your assumptions are.

You look him up and down, rolling your eyes.

“I- i mean! i… oh god” he stutters.

“Youre a fucking idiot..”

You walk back into the bedroom.

He follows once again.

You lay down on your side of the bed, he lays down on his, facing you.

“Im sorry..” he finally spits out.

“Wasnt so hard now was it?”

He looks down, ashamed.

You turn over, you dont want to see his face right now.

He glides his hands down your stomach, pulling you closer.

“Can i make it up to you?”

His words gave you butterflies, but you didnt reply, you just wanted him to read your mind.. or your body language.

He glides his hands even lower, finally touching the bottoms of your pyjamas.

God, his hands are so gentle..

He pats your thighs a bit before bringing his hands back up and tucking on the string of your pyjama bottoms.

“Can i?”

You nod.

He unties the string, sliding his hands underneath your pyjama bottoms.

He can feel how wet you already are.

Your breathing gets heavier and heavier by the second.

You arch your back, begging for some spark, begging him to finger you.

—————————————————————————

You can barely catch your breath , as he thursts his cock in and out of you at such a fast pace that youre surprised you can even keep up.

With each thurst he slides his cock just to the very tip, only to slam it right back in.

He moans with each thurst, your noises align.

He feels as if he cant control himself…

He can feel both of you reaching your climaxes.

“Hold onto me.. okay? Fuck…”

“Close?” he whines.

You nod, moaning heavily.

“Me too baby, me too..”

He continues, not missing a single beat from the rythm.

Not long after hes on the edge of finishing.

“I..Im.. fuck..”

He tries speaking again.

“Im gonna.. cum..”

He moans as he says the last word, releasing his seed inside of you, making you finish aswell.

He makes sure to fuck his cum into you, not wasting a single drop.

—————————————————————————

You guys cuddle in bed, resting after whatever just happened.

“Im sorry” He whispers.

You pull him closer as an answer.

“I promise on my life i wont be late again.. im sorry..”

He kisses you, caressing your head, before both of you fall asleep.

—————————————————————————

Alright i hope u guys liked that! sorry the smut part was short:(

Also i apologize for the spelling mistakes and all that, im hungarian and i dont know how to spell fancy words, ykwim?

Tried my best! Love u!

#bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #georg listing #gustav schäfer #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #smut #bill kaulitz smut #tokio hotel smut

[oscpaistry]

Misunderstood.

You and Kylian have been in a relationship for 4 years now. But you feel unheard and misunderstood by him. The media is causing you two stress and argument. At one moment Kylian had enough and he thought it would be the best if you two broke up. But all you wanted from him is to be heard and understood. You went out off the house and told the whole media that your taking a long break and why. About your mental health and much more.

Kylian and you were finally back home from the red carpet. Kylian was scrolling through his phone while you were changing out off your dress.

"Are you actually fucking serious?" You hear Kylian telling himself.

"Whats wrong Kylian?" You ask him while coming into the room he was in.

"Tell me the truth Y/n. Im sick and tired of the lies." He says with a stern voice.

"What do you mean Kylian? What have i done this time?" You say with a sigh in your breath.

"I saw on Instagram that your mental health is at risk again!" He says with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

You sigh. "It is Kylian. Im so stressed and mentally drained. I dont have any motivation to do anything at this point. And i-" you tried to say but he spoke through your sentence.

"Pff Y/n. Don't be so dramatic. You have it simple. You only have to sit at home, do the groceries, model, get clothes, get your nails done and much more." He says while laughing at you.

You look down and feel something in your throat. It feels like you can't swallow.

"Mhm" you say and go back to the bathroom.

"Okay if you wanna act like that and act as if you have so many problems go ahead. Be my guest. But not in my house Y/n. Go somewhere else and cry about it. I dont have time for it. And besides. I dont see your stress and see that your sad or some shit." He says while throwing and bag at you.

Your eyes started to swell up and you pick up the bag. You pack some stuff and went downstairs. You took a glas of water and drank it before you left. You two didnt speak in those 30 minutes of packing. You grabbed your car keys and went outside to go in your car.

You went to a hotel somewhere in Paris. You asked for a room for one. The front desk lady gave you the room card 267. You went up with the lift and went onto your phone. You left the lift and went to your room.

At the end of the hall you see room 267. You entered and as soon you saw the bed you just feel into it and cried.

Your eyes were already swollen and red from crying.

Your phone was going off none stop. You check it and see texts from Neymar, Achraf, Messi and Ramos. They were asking why you were acting like this and were shaming you. You sighed at the messages. Those people were the ones you trusted with your heart. And then in one snap they turn their back at you. It broke you into million pieces. You decided to post on Instagram that you were taking a break bcs off your mental health. This is what it said in your post.

"Hey guys, there is something i want to clear up and say. So the media is spreading rumors around of me. Those are completely not true and are lies. Kylian saw those posts. And because of those posts Kylian and i are having alot of arguments. Im not at Kylian's right now. That doesnt really matter right now. But those posts have me giving stress. But ive been already suffering with bipolar disorder. Ive been so mentally drained fir he past few months it isnt really okay anymore. I havent got any motivation to do anything anymore. Im physically so exhausted. Ill be taking a break from social media for now. I dont know for how long. I hope you guys understand. I love you guys. Im sorry."

You read it again and again. You took a deep breath and posted it. You put your phone in the drawer and went to unpack and to take a shower.

After the shower you went to change. You heard the vibrations from your phone. You went to grab your phone and saw texts off Kylian, Neymar and Messi.

"Sorry Y/n. I didnt know you were struggling with all that."

That is what Neymar, Kylian and Messi texted you. You sigh and leave them on read...

#psg football #football imagines #kylian mbappe #mbappe imagine #sadcore

[modernghostfare]

Hello.. can we get more ghostmace headcanons. If you ever wrote any pls link them too...

:)c YESSS i love talking abt maceghost.. i know ive made a bunch of sporadic posts about them but i havent done a like dedicated hcs post. i feel like often im struggling to understand the narrative of their past but generally i keep the same vibe to it all.

mace is for sure the more level headed of the two only because relationships and love freak ghost out. ive mentioned on a post like years ago hes traumatized by watching his mother stick with his father and i still believe this. hes like scared to be in a position where something Isn't working anymore but hes too emotional to cut it off so he self sabotages the relationship so mace will get pissed and stop talking to him.

in the past (as i mentioned in another post) mace Did also feed into this. he had a good home life but his own personal issues and anger at more outward issues caused him to like. seek an outlet for this sort of petty squabbling. and he found it in ghost. until he got tired of festering and being pissed off all the time and decided to actually like Do Shit he feels good about. and he broke up with ghost.

now in modern times where theyve caught up with each other it's like a weird mash of their past and them both being more mature. ghost struggles more because hes very adverse to actually improving himself and how he feels about himself bc hes like. hes Given Up on being a person. while mace has done a lot of healing.

like the toxic factor of maceghost Is Ghost at this point to me. but theres a lot of love there bc theres a lot of mutual respect and, like, easy familiarity there. mace understands how ghost works at his core.

so like. when ghost is being Normal and not anxious they literally just. like. Click? mace can extremely put ghost at ease with just his presence. and mace in turn rly enjoys his company bc a calm ghost is actually just sort of casually funny.

and ghost does like making mace laugh i imagine mace has a really beautiful smile bc he has resting bitch face so when it lights up it's very special.

ghost also i think would be 100% willing to take his mask off in a room of just him and mace. no special occasion needed he's just comforted. mace has already seen it over many, many years.

because they're like an Old couple i think theyve been on and off since their mid twenties for ghost and late twenties for mace. WHICH is another reason mace like wont entertain the childish picking ghost does theyre literally too old.

but he does play along a little. sometimes. old habits die hard. if it's petty mace will have a back and forth w ghost for old times sake its just how ghost communicates sometimes. emotions are just hard for ghost mace understands this. to put all of this simply.

i will say tho if more comes out and they end up more antagonistic than my current read i will still be a huge stan i love when dudes try to fuck and kill each other 💪🥰💕

speaking of fucking tho. tw for implying sexual assault also i just got kinda nasty sowwy.

LIKE we know ghost has a complicated relationship w sex a lot of his past history w it is like traumatic. i think he was already promiscuous as a teen bc he already had issues from his upbringing so hes like. well experienced. and he likes sex. and he likes fucking mace bc his dick is thick, hes good with his hands, and he's not afraid to be rough with him and take their time bc mace likes to be edged and when ghost is rly into it he Likes it to Last esp if he can cum more than once. he likes when his pussy is sore.

BUT ALSOO theyre both like. verse esp w each other. ghost likes topping more tho. he likes fucking mace for being a little bit vocal and just. like. huge. ghost loves bending him over and watching his fat bounce. ghost would blow off any task and anyone to go fuck him.

but also, bc its ghost and i think if the wrong buttons get pressed in the wrong order and it goes sour he gets quiet and, like, disassociates. and mace keeps watch for that bc he doesn't want to put ghost in that state. its not fun

#asks #anon #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #mwmp #maceghost #i love them literally i think about them all the time. #ive said maybe 50% of this before but The Vibes #Important. #i think also i said like and literally a million times brothers im sorry

[steffigraf]

warning for a clearly anxiety-ridden oversharing freakout below the cut. sorry. i’m too sensitive and i’m unfortunately acutely aware of it.

tldr; im being a drama queen. gonna take a tumblr break for a week or two. to my mutuals, feel free to dm for my insta. i’ll be active until i wake up tomorrow morning and then i’m gonna zip

gonna preface this by saying this is in no way directed to the people whom i actually talk to constantly on here like you lot were lovely and im just dealing with a lot of demons in my head :(

anyway. sometimes i feel more like a product manufacturer than a person on here. and idk. i know most of you guys are really just following me for gifs and content and whatever but. yeah. idk. i guess the things i say don’t matter to anyone unless it’s funny. or if people want to call me out. not that im mad abt that exactly btw i do appreciate when people respectfully call me out for my own mistakes but. sometimes. i feel like im in a fishbowl and you’re all just waiting for me to say something wrong and cancel me. or then again, maybe most of you already think im a shit person and you just stay for the gifs. or maybe you guys think i’m a loser who has nothing to do but spend all day on this goddamn website.

and i know, somewhere inside me, that that’s not true and that it’s clearly the anxiety talking. maybe it’s just me maybe i’m making this up in my head i dunno. but i’m just kinda tired right now. too tired to battle the anxiety like usual at least. and i don’t really feel wanted outside of the content i produce, beyond the notes of my gifs or my fun posts. which ik shouldn’t matter but. i’m a pathological people pleaser etc etc.

(god, seeing this all typed out, i can’t even fucking blame you guys if you actly don’t like me cause. i kinda wanna shake myself by the shoulders and tell myself get a grip girl the world doesn’t revolve around you shut up shut up shut your damn mouth—)

i’ve been trying to manage by unfollowing and blocking a few people (which btw, if i did that to you and we used to be mutuals, it’s probably nothing personal i mostly just kept people i’m a bit closer to). but i’m still not really settled. and considering how i’m posting like every other day about feeling like shit, you guys probably figured that out lmao.

and well. on a separate note. seeing that rat’s name alone is too much for me sometimes. i couldn’t watch his game with carlos. i spent hours in his match with daniil turned away from the television, wearing noise canceling headphones while trying (and failing) to talk myself down from a full blown anxiety attack. i’ve said this before but the way people talk about him, both the fucked up silence and the justified outrage, it reminds me way too much about a family problem i have right now. hits uncomfortably close to home. prior to this i kinda thought i’d made my peace with the whole family situation but no apparently not. had he won the semis, i wasn’t even sure if i would be able to stomach cheering for jannik if it meant having to watch that man play.

so. idk. between the way actual tennis has been making me feel and the way tennisblr in general has seemed for me lately, i figure i need some space.

long story short ive been spending way too much time on tumblr this ao. and its gotten really bad for my mental health i guess. so i think i need to take maybe a week or two, to clear my head. watch tennis without opening this app every other point. spend time with people i love. get back to therapy. try to be a functioning adult.

(this is so fucking dramatic for a goddamn week of no tumblr i know that and i want to smack myself upside the head because why am i like this why do i make things snowball why why why—)

anyway. yeah. that’s it. if you actually read through all of that then. thanks. if not it’s okay too.

to my mutuals, the ones whom i’ve had at least some form of friendly interaction with in replies or dms, you can ask for my insta account btw. not that i’m crazy active on there but like. if you guys wanna be friends beyond the anonymity of this yknow. no pressure though.

#sorry to get all sad again #been editing this on my drafts all day #ive not been in a good headspace lately #*

[gemwolfz]

SORRY IM A BIT LATE FOR THE EPISODE REQUESTS BUT 238B. IT HAS A DINOSAUR GUY. the A part is funny too it involves giroro getting arrested

BY ZIV SUGGESTION: two of the most promising synopses ever

i will be viewing part A first of course because thats how i work

im not sure ive seen this version of the intro yet lets GO NEW KERO MARCH JUST DROPPED (<- several years old) (<- edit i have seen this intro already but only once. durr)

PRESSURE COOK MY GREASY BALLS

arbitrarily chosen- PURURU SPOTTED HIII PURURU. giroro doesnt even fit at the thingamabobber he could fall at any moment. injustice in the court of space law

ohhh i get it this is like. like the movie. the classic movie i haven't watched. i get it

i cant say i understood that reference necessarily but i sure do recognize it!!

PURURUUUU it would probably be nice if i had already watched her introductory episode but who give a shit pururu hiiii <3

really good academic discussion going on on the whiteboard back there. Mfs didnt even refer to giroro by name

Keroro sir im going to fucking lose it what is your problem. has this mf just been waiting his whole life to go to court just to cause drama

what is your problem!!!

YOOOO THEY GOT SPACE PIZZA sorry im tired and adhdridden. Free my mans he has brain damage and should probably see a doctor. I like pururus voice btw its very normal compared to some anime girls ive met

ykw he makes a fair point giroro seems like the kind of person to give himself brain damage out of frustration. still what is your problem

AWESOME. GET HIS ASS. KILL HIM. VIOLENCE

FR9G PHONE REAL i hit image limit hang on

#Autism

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Not to be overly morbid, but do yall ever think about suicide in prythian? Personally, i think killing yourself would be pretty common. I mean, it has to be given how few old people seem to exist in this world even though fae (or atleast high-fae) seem to insanely powerful and difficult to kill

And I dont think its because living in prythian sucks THAT much or even because being immortal is THAT bad, i mean arguably the biggest issue with immortality would be to watch all your loved ones die and thats not something that sjm's fae have to deal with. I think its moreso a thing of people just kinda getting tired of living after a few centuries and being like "welp. ive experienced pretty much everything, time to explore the world beyond" yknow. Thats why I think Velaris would have a pretty high suicide rate, because if youre stuck in a city thats presumably completely stagnant and never changes because its already perfect, youre going to run out of new enjoyable things to do wayyyy more quickly and get tired of your existence. It would also explain how this city full of immortals that can never leave but can reproduce hasnt already collapsed under the weight of overpopulation after over 5000 years

One idea that i like because it could make for some poignant commentary is that suicide rates are really high among faeries because theyre a lot more likely to live in poverty and its really hard to escape poverty and its really fucking miserable so after a few decades most of them decide they dont wanna live like that, and its gotten to the point where the high fae think they just naturally have shorter lifespans for some biological reason when they can actually live just as long as high fae, its just that they take poison or some shit to die in their sleep or something idk. Maybe thats a little very dark for acotar, but then again, sjm is constantly throwing around domestic violence and abuse and rape in this series so

I think suicide rates among high lords would be pretty high as well because I imagine their lives are pretty monotonous and tiring because of their responsibilities and because its not like they can leave prythian for an extended period of time to experience some new things or have some fun adventures, theyre tied to their court geographically. And god, can you imagine what would happen if theres a crisis. Yknow how a while ago the UK went through like 5 prime ministers in two weeks because of some bullshit that was happening? Imagine that but its just all these newly-chosen high lords killing themselves because they cant handle their court for some reason. I actually have a theory that thats what happened in the night court because theres this weird little throaway line where they say like, Mor's family used to be the ruling family but then the highlord power somehow got transferred to Rhys' family and its been driving me insane because WHAT do mean by that??? So basically, I think there was a time when Mor's highlord-chosen ancestors kept killing themselves for one reason or another, none of them wanted to be highlord and the magic of the land kept reaching out further and further until it landed on like, Rhysand's great-granddad who was only distantly related to Mor's ancestors and the ruling line just continued from there

Anyway, Id like to end this post on a more positive note and talk about the demographic that I think is the least likely to kill themselves, and thats the youngest children of noble families with multiple children. As ive said, im mostly basing this off of any given fae's ability to have a lot of new experiences to keep their lives from becoming monotonous and tiresome (combined with their material circumstances) and I think the youngest children of nobles hit the sweet spot of being pretty wealthy and not needing to do a lot of hard labour that would take up their time while also not being tied down by responsibilities that would force them to stay in one place. (Unless its a family of all girls and the youngest is their only son ig because as of acomaf, prythian is super patriarchal but i try not to think abt that ngl)

#miscellaneous acotar thoughts

[istherewifiinhell]

okayyyy also. tagged by @joelletwo for 5 topics i could talk about for an hour with no prep.

now. two things. 1. i have infernal podcast dude energy and could say a lot about nothing. weird trait to have if u dont like talking to people? hard to say. 2. GESTURES AT BLOG. im ALREADY. talking at length abt my beloved shit. so im just ruling out turtles, alien robots, trek, etcetcetc all the shit thats been a main blog topic for the last past. 4 years?

I'm gonna say.... western voice actors? not that i could really. Give a lecture so much as. I'm way more familiar with them that than I am live action actors. And I'm kinda just CONSTANTLY like. Oh you know so and so from every cartoon youve ever fucking seen? And FEEL a real. gap. with people when they dont have a same reference point. probably like how ppl feel with me when i dont know their acting guys jhadbgjfga. Like u can name 5 VAs from ur childhood cartoons/animated movies right? And personal interest like, hey btw u know like the entire cast of tng was in disneys gargoyles? U know keith david can SING? And diego luna? Hey you know about Canadian actors who are in all the dubs and video games and yeah cheap shit? You know Scott McNeil right? You know Ian James Corlett? You know. THE IAN. of being Ian. Hello. is this thing still on?

I really like and care about the topics of education, children's rights and pedagogy? Not academically so much as, personal interest. What seeing very clearly that there was a lot of arbitrary rules that involved things like. The Government. and Systems. as a child does to a motherfucker I guess? I'm always INTERESTED in a discussion about it, is how i mean I guess. Like focuses of multiple intelligence and "applied knowledge" (and short comings there of). I mean long and short of it. Kids are full human beings and until u can grapple with that their feelings and opinions um. Actually matter. I hate you? jdhbgjhdb. And Naturally the world being good for kids has the prerequisite of it not sucking ass for adults too....

UHhhh guh. User design/civil engineering? You'll hear it from me until the day I die, crushed under the tires of a ford f1 giga truck with the LED 20million watt bulbs. PROTECTED BIKE LANES. for the love of god. I just know a lot of designers I guess and like engineering, conceptually. But like, u know that famous bridge everyone crashes into. If theres 80million warning signs and people are still crashing... maybe theres. other factors. Or you know ofc like, traffic planning, vehicle accidents, structural disasters. A lot of them are not just. Things happening. Tragedies. There's politics there. Usually a lot of Money stuff. and structural racism. The real reason your fridge is full is that there's a bunch of half empty condiment jars hiding all your forgotten left overs. And widening the roads isnt gonna do shit for traffic.

Jackass entry: Themes and motifs of anyyytthing ive watched with another person or saw, and like they also know it. I realllly like, visual theming and narrative shorthands. Anything that breaks like, maybe people in this setting dont have the same customs, but their gonna do something so you the audience can recognize it. Non literal/accurate use of colour and lighting, for mood and clarity. Breaking the physical shape and scale of things so they can appear and be readable on screen. COSTUMING COSTUMING COSTUMING. A well styled character can do soooo much for your understanding of a work, especially with large casts, and a poorly styled one can take me right out. Well. anyway. yes i love animation u all knew that.

uhhhhh Thatgamecompany/giantsquids studio. im giving myself a free space. lol technically I DO. blog about this. the music. at least. BUT beloved. games. Me and everyone else I guess. Hey speaking of u know its laura bailey and troy baker as the voices in the pathless? And you know how a lot of the games have themes of coming into being/growing/rebirth. And LOTS of environmentalism. And implied cultural world building, and wordless stories. and beautiful metaphor rich otherworldly visuals. and gameplay styles that really connect with the emotional story their going for. and ofc, the music. oh the leit motifs. well. there u go. sword of the sea when?

tagginggg. uh did anyone get @deadgrantaires or @army-of-bee-assassins yet? anyone elseeee who wants to regale me with things they knowww about. id love to know.

#some shit #KINDA. gave up. cause i hampered myself with the restriction not my fandoms. jadgbdhf BUT YALL ALREADY KNOWWWWW i could take u thru #my fav mirage issues or like. my favourite implications of tf stuff. #like. all the things i like to watch and like. this is a story about familys. or rebellion. or why people care about each other. #why its important to keep living. and everything iver ever blogged about. lmao #i also skipped on things like. cool machinery i like or how products are WORSE now days. even tho. djjhdbfj. if i have to talk to a #less known person i would consider those like. safety topics. dgjhdf #if u wanted to be really vague i could to a tangential daisy chain all themed around the colour blue. ofc.