#ALSO HIM SAYING ‘OUR’ DRAGON WARRIOR | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosmictheo · 2 months

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𝐎𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒 | 𝐟𝐞𝐲𝐝-𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐧

(gif credits to @pascow)

— summary: feyd-rautha was used to have whatever he wanted, it was well known, but so were you; what you desired, was already yours. and what you crave right now, is him. —pairing: feyd-rautha harkonnen x female!reader —word count: 1.5k —warnings: death, mentions of killing, blood, fighting (yk the usual feyd), just the reader and feyd-rautha being horny and a slut for each other.

writer’s note: english is not my mother tongue, so please forgive me if there is a grammatical error. hope you like it!

yes, i'm finally back!! dune part 2 has dragged me out of my cave and has given me inspiration like never before.

Feyd-Rautha was psychotic. Everyone knew it, perhaps the whole galaxy was aware of his very eccentric... preferences and appetites. He was well known for his immaculate and animalistic way of fighting, of destroying anyone who dared to present themselves as his enemy, of anyone who would dare to challenge him. But he was also honorable, proud and loyal to his beliefs, perhaps too self-confident for your own liking.

But every strong man had a weakness, a weakness that could bring them to their knees, to yield, to be left vulnerable. You were Feyd's weakness, rather, his strength, his fortitude, the fire in his veins, the beating of his heart. And it was quite strange and utterly unimaginable to think that someone like Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen would have any feelings at all, there were those who firmly believed that he didn't even have a heart, not even a soul, that he was a demon in human form, a ruthless and bloodthirsty beast, the worst of the worst.

But there you were to prove otherwise.

It had been your idea to actually take him as a husband. Your parents disagreed, of course, for they thought you would be better off alone, after all, you were one of the strongest women alive, you didn't need any man or woman by your side. They called you the Golden Dragon, someone with too much power for this world, you had abilities that the world could not really understand yet, connections with the universe that could not even begin to be explained, the last descendant of one of the most ancient Houses, one that had vanished in time, detached from battles and senseless wars for power, a House that was recognized by that flag with the roaring and menacing red dragon on a golden field. That ancient beast that many thought extinct... until you came to Giedi Prime riding one.

And you had arrived just on his coming of age day, where his favorite ceremony was battles, of course.

You watched him fight the Atreides men from your seat, your mother and father sitting at your sides, watching him as well, all in silence. Your eyes followed his every move, not even pausing for a second to watch the other poor men being annihilated, no, for your attention was solely on Feyd-Rautha, noting the predatory nature of his steps, his precise and powerful movements, eyes darkened with delight, eager for more death and blood.

"He is a good warrior" Your father commented looking at him in awe as well.

"Too much so, I'd say" Your mother added in a naturally stern voice, distrustful dark eyes, observing the gory spectacle.

"He was born for it" Your father continued to comment, turning his head so he could look at you for a few seconds "For slaughter and death. Only to bring that."

"I think he's cute" you finally stated your opinion, voice low and serene, not even having the audacity to look at your parents, for you didn't have to look at them to know that they were both giving you horrified and scandalized looks now.

Your father muttered your name in a warning tone of voice.

"He would look good in our home. He's built for fighting and protect, just like us." You explained, finally detaching your eyes from Feyd-Rautha, who had just killed the last Atreides standing, unleashing a wave of applause, praise and cheers from the audience. "Don't you think so, father?"

Your look was almost defiant, and yet composed, and your father took it as a challenge, but he would never be so foolish as to show any disagreement with you, for what the dragon princess desired, she had.

So, after sharing a short glance with your mother, he gave you a short nod of his head.

"I do."

And so it was settled.

Feyd-Rautha, for his own part, saw you and knew you were meant to be his. He had heard of you, of course, his uncle used to insist that he must behave himself once your family arrived, for you were worthy of having the full respect of House Harkonnen, and that losing you as allies was not an option at all. So behave he did... or at least he tried to.

"I dreamed of you last night."

Was the first thing he said to you, both found in one of the large, dark halls of his home, just a couple of hours after his victorious fight in the arena. The Baron and your father were in an important and pending meeting in which neither your presence nor Feyd's was required, because the whole focus of it was the two of you, and a possible marriage to ensure the alliance and heritage.

His eyes were barely distinguishable with the all the thick blackness surrounding him, his pupils dilated with desire, hands clasped behind his back, as inflexible as ever. He had put his all into making a good impression, his uncle had ordered him to, and Feyd was quite obedient when it came to the Baron's wishes. He was so loyal to that foul man that you thought it was something no better described than adorable.

The thing was that, as powerful and menacing as he was, he was just another man, another pawn into this colossal game of power and thrones. And you felt rather pity for him.

"Na-baron." You greeted him somewhat pragmatically, turning fully towards him, golden eyes gleaming even amidst all the darkness through your gold mask. "It was a good dream, I hope."

"(Y/N) Pazuk, princess." He just took the satisfaction of deliciously savoring the name of your House, pronouncing it in that husky, deep voice of his. He also had the courage to move closer to you, rising from the wall and stepping cautiously, holding your gaze, looking down on you as if you were prey, a small helpless animal under his looming shadow. He then reflected, thinking about choosing the most suitable words... and the most appropriate ones "It was a very good dream."

You were in his territory, his planet, you knew it well and so did he, you were walking straight into the mouth of the hungry beast. Everything that was there belonged to him, he controlled it all and saw it all.

And everything he was seeing now was you. And he was intrigued, captivated even. Because he usually encountered boring and vulgar people, people who were nowhere near his level, people who he liked to torture and make bleed to death. And the thing was, you happened to stand on his level, and even higher.

"Tell me more." You had the courage to order him in a soft tone of voice. He knew instantly that you were testing him, he was smart and knew how to read people well... but you, you were different, he could see it too, you were much more complex than other people. And he was delighted.

A hint of a phantom smile tugged at the corner of his lips just as he stood in front of you, posture rigid and dominant. "You showed me the way. The right way. The way of victory, the way of life."

You swallowed spit slowly and he noticed it, for his eyes descended to your throat for a few moments before rising again to your face, analyzing every expression that passed through your gaze, every gesture of your lips, every sign you allowed him to see.

Then he twisted his head slightly, face turning somewhat mischievous. "You think I'm scary, princess?"

Now it was his turn to test you.

He watched as your lips parted before responding, raising your voice with pure confidence, naturally, holding his dark gaze. "I think you're quite the opposite really, Feyd-Rautha."

He was silent for a few moments, long moments in which he simply gazed at you intently, with his full attention on you, on your body, almost as if he was looking at your pure soul.

"You are my destiny." He finally uttered, you could hear how his voice had wavered more for softness than harshness this time. "Show me the way, my princess."

You managed to feel the warmth of his body against yours. For someone so cold and distant, his body was hot and warm like fire.

"Are you going to ask for my hand?" You ask in a small voice, feeling suddenly intimidated by his closeness. There were very few who dared to stand so close to you, yet there he was, threatening your personal space. "Because here I am, na-Baron."

Before I could answer you anything, you spoke again, twisting your head slightly, barely narrowing your eyes. "You think I'm scary, my lord?"

He had never been so profoundly proud and thrilled by his title as he was at that moment, when you slowly modulated it with your tongue like a purr, your voice tastefully savoring it.

"I think you are beautiful." He immediately responded. "And I want you to be mine."

And so, fate had done it's work.

#dune #dune part two #dune 2 #dune movie #dune imagine #dune x reader #feyd rautha #feyd x reader #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha x you #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #feyd rautha imagine #feyd rautha one shot #dune one shot #cosmictheo

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ophelieverse · 2 months

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I have an idea,Lia angel🪽can you please write Daemon x Hightower!reader where she is Otto youngest daughter and she is religious like Alicent and her father betrothed her to Daemon?Maybe with a little bit of 😏😏Thank you my angel🤍🤍

⊱ •There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader

-Summary:In order to gain full power,Otto Hightower betrothed both of his daughters in the House of the Dragon.

-Warnings:Age gap,a little bit of smutty time,religious topics.

-Thank you for requesting and let me know what you think🫶🏻🩷

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The wind that caressed her bare back no longer carried with it that scent of saltiness that had weighed down her nostrils and kneaded her mouth,while sobs,wheans and bells had shaken her violently in following the ship and the wake of foam that moved away from the beach of Dragonstone and disappeared beyond the horizon.

It had become a pleasant breeze with floral and fruity hints,which rippled her skin filling her with chills,although Lady Y/n Hightower,youngest daughter of Otto Hightower the Hand of the King,was not cold.

She could not feel cold under the scorching sun of the island on which she had been abandoned by her family.Her father who gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and her older sister who cried silently with her,to be alone with her betrothed,the Rogue Prince Daemon Targaryen, not when it was her own body that radiated heat,turning it on from the inside.

Maybe earlier,those days were her father gave her the information of his new plan.Before,perhaps,she had perceived the icy breath of what being married to a man like her future husband would mean,but now... Now those endless tears that had blinded her eyes and moistened her beautiful face had also dried.

«Father,Smith,Warrior,Mother,Maiden,Crone,Stranger.»Y/n whispers those names in her mind with her eyes closed,as if praying could purify her of what is happening to her body.

By the way Daemon hands creep under her nightgown and run through her skin,lingering on places she never dared to explore even on her own.Her hands instead she’ll the rosary of the Seven,to prevent herself from pushing him away or to bring him even closer.

Her whole body felt on fire,her immaculate skin was covered in goosebumps as the night sky engulfed her figure.Daemon had been waiting for her body,for her mind,soul and heart to be completely his.Maybe he suggested to Larys Strong to suggest to that cunt of her father to have her hand to him out of spite,maybe he did because Y/n had always been kind and gentle towards him unlike her father.

What he was certain of was that in that moment she looked like a holy figure,with her hair all sandy,her lips swollen,the skin of her jaw still covered in spit and wine.She looked like one of those gods that she loved tho pray and only now,taking in every inch of her body,he understood why people were religious.Why they needed something to turn to,someone to get on their knees for and chant their names.

Daemon wasn’t a religious person,but he liked to think that the gods had made Y/n just for him.

It was easy in the beginning,when it all started just to see Otto Hightower rage as the prince gave his younger daughter all those attentions.But after a short time,Daemon started to realize that there was something more that was pushing him to always look at her,to caress the back of her neck,to toy with her hair.

It was only when she told him that she prayed for him every night before going to sleep,that everything changed.No one has aver prayed for Daemon,maybe his brother had prayed him to change,but he never went down to his knees before his bed and asked to the gods to always protect him.

From that day he started to pay her more attention,to see the shy way she carried herself,always looking down at her feet,never saying anything without being asked.Always at her father side.She was wasted like this,such a young and beautiful girl that could bring the whole world to its knees to worship and cherish her just like the goddess she was.

When Daemon had caught the whispers of her father wanting to send her back to Old Town to become a Septa,he had to intervene.

He knew Y/n wouldn’t never gave herself to someone like him willingly,not without a promise.And so it was done,in less than a month they would’ve been husband and wife and he could have all the time to see her shine for who she really was,without the dark cloud of her father shadow on her.

Daemon wanted her to want him as he wanted her.Desperately.He wanted to make her shiver from his touch,he wanted to hear her voice breathless and shaky.Oh he wanted to hear her say his name like a prayer,like he was her new god.Full of devotion.

«You should stop crying,Y/n,am I hurting you?»Daemon murmured above her chest,his eyes not leaving the precious and untouched skin of her breast.

«T-that's not what I want.»she lied,her voice was weak and she couldn’t keep her eyes open.

Daemon takes her nipples in his mouth,one at a time and she can’t stop them from becoming erect and turgid.Her mother made her believe that no one could suck her breasts except her children,that sex was only meant for child-bearing but right now Y/n feels anything but a mother and a pure virgin.She felt dirty,she felt like a whore,she felt good for the first time in her life.

«You are a liar.»her betrothed taunted her,his rosy lips were soft,his tongue warm and wet made her thighs clench.

«Father,Smith,Warrior.»she whispered again,one of her hands was now grasping at Daemon long silver hair as he groaned.

Y/n dwells on those figures with a hint of fear,aware that none of them will come to save her now.Not her father who sold her to the Rogue Prince in marriage.Not the warrior,her sworn protector,that was waiting at the castle for Daemon to be done with her before escorting her to her maidens.In the absence of the smith,her father trusted a demon,Larys Strong,and his advices to strength Alicent oldest son claim to the throne by forging their union just to have Daemon on their side against Rhaenyra when war will come.

«You want this.You want me.»Daemon said looking up at her with lustfull eyes,releasing her nipples.

Y/n face was burning red,her lips were quivering with soft prayers«You should s-stop.»she pleaded.

He was still holding her,his fingers felt like pure fire on her ribs.He kissed his way down from under her breast,savoring the sweet perfume of strawberries and the clean and sinful taste of her immaculate skin.

«Stop where?Here?»he asked,he bit and sucked right under her ribcage making her gasp.

His hands were hiking up the gown of her white nightgown,the smooth and silky texture of her bare legs made his head spin.

«Daemon.»she called for him breathlessly.

«What do you want?Tell me,my beautiful princess.»he whispered.

She tries to stay motionless like a statue,but her body trembles,quivers,while he puts a finger in her and then a second, making her find her more wet than she would have liked.

Her language pronounces aloud the names of the Seven,to prevent herself from yelling at him to stop or to keep going forever.

«You want all this, you want me.»he reminds her,taking in all of her beauty.

«How could I?You're a horrible man.»

She spreads her legs wide and feels him rubbing the tip of his manhood erected against her opening without daring to enter yet,and she hates herself for how reflexively she pushes her pelvis against him,for how she widens her legs even more.

«Maybe you're horrible too.»

Y/n head was spinning and it was difficult to remember how that change had happened,how she had started crying at the betrayal of her family when shortly before she had found herself aching for him,for the man above her as the most unfortunate of disasters;nor how she had come to grasp with her lips a pasty and strong flavor, capable of awakening every sense,capable of awakening in her new desires and instilling new life in her.

When Daemon had walked her to a secret area on the beach of Dragonstone and eased her thirst with the most intense,tasteful wine of the known world she had found herself on her knees for him.Till a week before she used to lift her gowns and get down only to pray her gods,now she was doing for the man that her father had raised her to despise and she loved it more than the gods her mother had taught her to worship.

Then she had found herself laying on the cold and wet sand,Daemon on her like a beast on the pray.

Y/n followed with her tongue the route of a thick drop and found a small bump in her mouth.She enclosed it inside and sucked so as not to disperse any of the spicy notes of that purple liquid.The fingers that had played with his long moon hair tightened their grip in a tacit warning and she chased another trail finding herself flattening her tongue on solid muscles,provoking them with the tip to make them contract and relax to their liking.She sucked in other stylls and bit the skin she found underneath to memorize its texture and remember how even the salty of the sweat could turn into sugar.

She knew that the gift,which was dripping from that chest and which had been offered to her so generously, was not to be wasted and she would savor it greedily.

«Good princess.»Daemon had praised her,his eyes,of the same color of the wine,capturing her every movement.

Y/n blinked and the blurred view allowed her to admire the work of a skilled sculptor.The advent of the chest she was worshipping,stained with other droplets waiting for her passage,caused a wave of desire in her belly.Those paths she was entering would soon lead her to the place where she would finally find peace and a new pang of anticipation caught her unprepared.

She strove to bring back to mind how she ended up like this,on her knees for him.A man with the blood of the dragon in his veins,a man who was undoubtedly a deity:he had dazzled her with an estatic vision of immortal creatures singing and dancing,so colorful and lively that he enchanted and chained her to them.And that drink she had tasted first from his cup,then from his hands and, finally,from the rest of his limbs.

Y/n kneeling between the sea and the rocks, looked up at him eyes and,all of a sudden,she didn't care about anything anymore.Her pupils burned,foamed like the liquid she was collecting,and rested her soul.

Then she had found herself underneath him and somehow,she also founded the strength to pray for forgiveness.For the person she was about to become,for the person she was letting him create.

Maybe she was horrible too.

«I want to be.»she whimpered against his mouth«I want to be just like you.»she pleaded,scratching down his back,the rosary long forgotten on the cold sand.

Mother,Maiden,Crone.

Y/n turns to those names but without really praying to them:she thinks of the Mother,the one that she had lost,the one that she had watched her sister turn into and who is the only definition their father had imposed on both of them,of the Maiden who she is no longer,of the Crone who she does not want to be yet.

And never,never,never like right now she was just Y/n,a woman,as she feels the member of Daemon finally slip into her to its entire length.The intrusion snatches a cry of surprise from her,but even though it’s the first time she feels no pain and she is amazed.

Her lips opens immediately when Daemon one’s looks for hers,his tongue caressing hers slowly as his arms brings her impossible closer to him,almost as he wanted to be one with her.

«Tell me that you are mine,Y/n.Not your father,but mine.»Daemon sounded desperate,moving in and out of her at a languid pace to savor more of the gentle creature he was corrupting.

«I’m yours.»she immediately answered him with a little moan«And you are mine?»she still had that white innocence in her that made him fall in love with her.

«Soon we will be one under the blessing of the Seven.You are mine and i’m yours.»he promised her and she believes him,he’s her new god,one that was created only for her to worship just like he worship her.

Daemon enters and leaves her at an increasingly rapid pace,sinking more forcefully at the end of that provocation;it should be a punishment, perhaps,it is instead for Y/n is a relief.It’s not a torture,not when he fills her,but the emptiness he leaves when all of this will end.She hates how her body does not consider that as a shameful act,making love before being married on the beach,a humiliation,as,in spite of everything,even her mind recognizes that disgract on his virtue infinitely more pleasant than the honest marital duty that her sister had told her about.

Stranger.Stranger.Stranger.

There is no other god left,as she opens her eyes and feels lost in her own release that hits her like the waves that crush on the shore.Daemon is not far behind her,his lilac eyes shining in hers as he empties himself in her.

Y/n surrenders to him,to the only true Stranger she knows,and thinks that after all she could also die in that moment,because she is dying less now than she died for all her life.Because being with Daemon couldn’t be worse than being with her father,because the unprecedented heat that explodes inside her suddenly can be nothing more than death itself.

She opens her lips and Daemon is the only name she outrageously prays as she opens her hands to hold him now to herself,to draw him closer instead of pushing him back,while he sinks for one last time.

The rosary breaks and the beads fall to the sand,like the gods it represent.

«I’m sorry.»he says.

«Everything is alright.»she says back.

Daemon lays on her and begins to caress her with an unexpected and inconsistent sweetness,like that remorse to which she gives voice,but which she understands after all.He would not have been able to ask for all this without offering her father to marry his daughter,because,in any case,if he had only asked for a fun night together she would have said no.

But now of her rabid cruelty nothing remains but a painful fragility;he is a god who falls too,a god who bows to her.It's ironic how she almost feels obliged to console him,to thank him for taking her away from her father hands.

«Thank you,my prince.»Y/n whispered.

Deamon closed his eyes,laying on her bare chest and enjoying the warmth of her skin«You're the only beautiful thing I will ever have,Y/n.I will make you a happy wife.»and he sounded sincere,she believed him.

Father,Smith,Warrior,Mother,Maiden,Crone,Stranger.

She no longer worships the gods now,because they are cruel,those who brand such a sweet pleasure as a sin.

She doesn't think about the gods anymore,Y/n, because now she knows what it means to be human.

There is no longer any god,not after the Hour of the owl,when Daemon gives unconditional whispers,love and mercy.Because he no longer needs blackmail as a pretext and Y/n no longer has religious images to hide behind.It was only them now,to believe in and to love.

«I love you.»he says

«I love you too.»she says back.

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thebadboyfanclub · 11 months

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Welcome To Our Family (Daemon x Reader)

Hey everyone, so as I mentioned before I wanted to write a throuple thing with Rhaenyra and Daemon although even on this request there was some drama involved but it was interesting to write nonetheless. Also I don’t know why but this song inspired me the most especially the part “where you go I go, what you see I see” that was the vibe I was trying to pass for our reader with daemon

Most would say that the war in the stepstones had no place for love to blossom, the reeking stench of death had overtaken and most men had no life in their eyes, the majority prayed in gratitude that they were alive while others cursed the gods for keeping them on this forsaken realm when their friend of even their kin had been killed.

That did not even grace Daemon, who was lucky enough to spend every night in the arms of his beloved (y/n), the sister of one of his soldiers that had been wounded, (y/n) had marched in and demanded that her brother will come home.

“I will be damned if I allow you to give more than an arm for this, you are coming with me”

Her brother had obeyed her, she was as fragile as a rose but her thorns stung more than anything, right then and then Daemon had become a mere slave to his emotions, something that had never occurred before.

“I wish I could stay in your arms forever”

“That would be a dream, my love, however, we are counting the days until you depart, your wife probably awaits you”

Daemon was deeply offended by the jab his lover had thrown at him, slowly he rose up and away from her arm reach to look her straight in the eyes, the fireplace burned bright and the light shined against her glistening skin.

“You are questioning my feelings for you”

“I am questioning how strong they are, you are a prince, a husband, your life seems to hold no room for me”

“Is that how you think of this? That I just wanted to bed you?”

“Do you truly wish for me to answer that?”

Silence took over them while the only sound came from the crackles of the fire, Daemon was aware of how badly this could look, she was a commoner, a mere lady, and the realm would never accept her even if Daemon had not wed another.

“You and our daughter mean everything to me”

“But nothing to the king, he will ask for my head once he finds out I am carrying your child”

“I would never put your lives at risk”

“How do you plan on keeping us safe my love?”

“Do not worry about that, I will take care of everything”

(Y/n)s belly was starting to show, it wouldn’t take long for the king and his little whisperers to demand answers, the easy route was to declare his kin a bastard but Daemon was flying on cloud nine when (y/n) announced that she was with child, no he must do right by her.

He flew with her to Pentos, far away from Viserys and people that cared most about titles and crowns than love and compassion.

“Twins, my prince, two sons, praise the mother”

“What about (y/n)”

“The lady is a warrior, she is tired but healthy”

Daemon did not speak another word to the maester, he simply passed by him and into the room to find his beloved laying in bed, a faint smile on her face as she held one of her children while the other was being held by a midwife.

“You owe me 3 dragon coins”

“It is a bet I will happily pay, how are you feeling?”

“Sore and gross but happy, why don’t you hold him?”

“I-“

“Come on love it is merely a babe, like… so”

Slowly (y/n) passed one of her sons to her lover, instructing him to hold it carefully but securely, then she reached for the midwife so she can have her other son in her arms, both of the babes were quiet in their parent's arms.

“What should we name them?”

“I was thinking of Orryn, and mayhaps… Baelon?”

“Baelon and Orryn, the two princes”

Daemon and (y/n) had grown inseparable much to his brother's dislike Daemon had scoffed at his previous marriage and took his place next to his most endearing (y/n) that had blessed him with not just two children, but with passion, and comfort, she created a home for him, without her there was no warmth, no color.

Viserys was only finding out the milestones his brother was achieving with his mistress via ravens that Daemon dared to send, the birth of his sons had scratched a wound in Viserys that was not quite healed yet, so naturally when Rhea had passed due to fever, Daemon had even dared to invite Viserys to his wedding that took place in Pentos.

(Y/n) had just given birth to another set of siblings, Alyssa and Arren, two silver-haired princesses that slept peacefully through the night and would only stay quiet if (y/n) or Daemon held them, (y/n)s parents and brother had traveled to Pentos to finally meet the children and also attend the wedding.

“You look dashing sweetling, I see the prince has taken good care of you”

“How could I not? What is more important than the happiness of my lady wife?”

“We must admit we had conflicting thoughts over you my prince, I am happy that you proved us wrong”

“I do not hold it against you, she is your daughter you want what is best for her, also you were not the only one, (y/n) was also very skeptical over my intentions”

“I had every reason to do so”

“I have made peace with the fact that you will never admit you were wrong my love, you do not have to find excuses for it”

Daemon and (y/n) were wed in Valyrian traditions, something that infuriated Viserys, how dare he wed a commoner with the sacred paths of old Valyria, it was distasteful and utterly disrespectful, Viserys had only sent a one-sentence raven scroll back

“You disgust me, never come back”

Daemon had only rolled his eyes at it and threw it in the fire, he couldn’t care less about Kings Landing, they could eat each other for all he cared, (y/n) and their children were all that mattered ever since he met with the beautiful hues of hers, he treasured everything about her and worshipped the ground she walked on, he would always hold her close and shower her with gifts.

“We received a raven, I have taken the liberty to open it”

“What is it?”

“Laenor Velaryon has passed, and your niece is requesting our presence, well yours to be specific, she said “I need you, uncle”

“You are jealous, I have never seen you get jealous”

“Is this the one you told me about, that “spur of the moment” girl?”

“Indeed, we do not have to go, besides, my brother banished me”

“No, it is the first time our presence is requested”

“My dear, you are with child and the flight is long”

“I will be fine, I know it”

Daemon was certain he could not sway her, once something was on her mind there was nothing that could turn it around, he was also aware that the reason she was so adamant was a side of hers that felt threatened, there was a ghost of his past that was requesting attention and (y/n) was not willing to walk away from this without putting up a fair fight.

At a day (y/n) and her 8 children stood next to her and her husband all dressed in black, everyone rubbed their eyes at the sight of such numerous children, (y/n) always knew she was meant to be a mother and that fact that she had Daemon as her husband made it so much easier.

Until it didn’t, they were summoned by the king after the ceremony, (y/n) felt her stomach drop as soon as she walked in the room, instinctively her one hand went over her growing belly, yet she mastered the strength to place a smile and curtsy before the king.

“What is the meaning of this brother?”

“I was hoping we could agree to some sort”

“Over what?”

“I wish for you to come back, I… will legitimize your children and wife as she has proven worthy, bringing forward 8 children with another on the way is no easy task”

“The gods have been generous to us that is correct, we are grateful for this offer but forgive me to ask, since you mentioned an agreement it seems you want something in return”

“Correct, there is no smooth way to say this but as a parent, I hope you understand that I would do anything to protect my daughter”

“No”

“Daemon”

“If you are asking us to wed Rhaenyra then you have lost your mind, I will not involve my wife and children in your scandals”

“Pardon my husband, I think you can understand the reason behind his outburst”

Daemon was left confused over (y/n)s composure that attempted to cover for his utter refusal to hide his brother's plans, he turned to observe his wife, she was calm, and her hand went to find his as their fingers intertwined (y/n) gave him a slight squeeze of comfort.

“The legitimacy of our children and our marriage is something that we are interested in, however, you can see why we might have some objections over accepting Rhaenyra in our marriage”

“You are trying to negotiate?”

“Yes”

“What else would you like to accept, please speak freely”

“I want my children to be given dragon eggs as well as meet any unclaimed dragons, they are Targaryens, they should have the pick of their dragons as well”

“Done”

“I shall also be considered Rhaenyras wife, if we were to wed I shall have the same rights as my husband”

“You are suggesting the realm accept you as the future queen's consort?”

“As you mentioned I brought forward 8 children and another on the way, the crown shall accept them as future princes and princesses, if not then there is nothing for us here”

Daemon chose to observe his lady wife than speak up, she took initiative and strived for the best option, something he admired in her but he had never really witnessed how far she was willing to go to secure the future of her family, now she was sacrificing a spot in their marriage for a seat at the table, Viserys had been outsmarted by what he used to frown upon.

“Very well, we accept your conditions”

“Well then… welcome to our family Princess Rhaenyra”

(Y/n) and Daemon wed Rhaenyra as they had once done while their children and the rest of their family watched, Rhaenyra had underestimated the lady, (y/n) and might not be as assertive or rebellious as Daemon but her wits and calculated movements showed a woman that walked with her head held high and every step was thought after.

The days turned to seasons and then years, everyone was holding their breaths as they took a front-row seat to one of the most important marriages and alliances within the Targaryen Dynasty.

(Y/n) was held in the best light by the small folk, “the realms mother”, and “the Alyssane reborn” as her fertility kept thriving, blessing Daemon with another set of twins soon after Rhaenyra was wed, the two beautiful baby girls were named Megaera and Valera, the first of their family to receive dragon eggs on their cradles a gift by Rhaenyra who picked them herself then came Aegon, Viserys, and Visenya, overall (y/n) had the castle of Dragonstone filled with children, 13 to be precise.

Rhaenyra was painfully aware of how those babies came to fruition, Daemon's thirst for his wife was evident and he did not even consider giving Rhaenyra the courtesy of hiding, Rhaenyra had lost count of the times she had walked in on (y/n), and Daemon lusting after one another at all hours of the day and any room that was close to them, she sometimes wondered if the legends of Rhaenys being the favorite wife of Aegon made Visenya go through what Rhaenyra was also experiencing, is that mayhaps the reason behind Rhaenyra identifying with the warrior queen?

As (y/n) and Daemon stood by Rhaenyra at court, defending her and consulting her on important matters, painting the picture of a happy marriage with two spouses that supported her revolutionary claim, the realm expected Rhaenyra to bare a child as well, (y/n) was producing heirs one after the other, Rhaenyras womb laid empty since Daemon did not spend not even one night in her chambers.

It was the first time in years that the three of them had stepped foot in kings landing, Vaemond had called the court to usurp Lucerys from his claim at the driftwood throne, naturally, all 13 of their children were present along with the three boys from Rhaenyras previous marriage, (y/n) insisted that it would show how United they are and having that strong of a number on their side would scare off any other accusations.

A solid plan, until Ser Vaemond decided to protest against the king affirming young Lucerys as the successor for the driftwood throne.

“You run your house as you see fit, but I would rather die than let that boy take over my family’s name, parading around because you are too blind to see the truth”

“You dare question the decision of a king?”

“Look at them, all thirteen of them hold the characteristics of old Valyrian, true born heirs that I would happily accept as mine even though they came from a womb of a commoner, and you ask me to accept these three boys as Velaryons? It is blasphemy”

“You are certainly bold Ser Vaemond, you have the nerve to call me a commoner when I hold the future queen and the brother of the king as my spouses, my children are not thirteen, but sixteen, and all of them hold their names with pride, it saddens my heart to see that the thirst for recognition has turned you to this low of antics”

“Her children are BASTARDS! and she. Is. A. Whore”

“Pity, you had such great potential”

As (y/n) finished her sentence Daemon had taken the liberty to end Ser Vaemonds life, a clean cut through his head right above his tongue with the great sword dark sister, causing most people to gasp while (y/n) smirked and watched the body fall on the well-polished floor.

“No one disrespects our family”

“Disarm him!”

“No need, my love”

Daemon stretched his hand to his beloved (y/n) who only turned to pinch Lucerys cheek before she took her husband's hand to walk away, only to halt and turn around again, looking back to the rest of her family members.

“Rhaenyra”

Rhaenyra was grateful for (y/n)s graciousness, there was nothing that she could hold against her, she was loving and caring to her three boys, she would listen to Rhaenyra about any concerns for hours and even now she defended and included her in front of everyone.

She should be satisfied with such, still a thorn stuck in her heart and pride making Rhaenyra feel second best when it came to Daemon's heart, it has always been (y/n), (y/n) carried his offspring’s, he gave up everything for her, took her away and gave her a life full of gifts and love, the finest of any kind was reserved for (y/n).

“Pardon my intrusion, the princess is requesting Prince Daemon in her chamber”

“It is late, can it not wait?”

“Sweetling, the poor girl cannot know, go to her, I will be waiting for you”

“Fine, take your nightgown off for me, I want us to get straight to it when I get back”

Daemon whispered deviously before he planted a passionate kiss on the lips he most adored, reluctantly pulled away with an audible gruff and followed the servant girl silently, wondering what was so important that he had to leave his precious bed and his lustful wife right in the heat of the moment.

Rhaenyra paced back and forth with impatience written all over her demeanor and face, Daemon always had an influence over her, making her feel like a little girl again, though this was a different type of anxiety, once Daemon entered the room and the servant gave them their privacy Rhaenyra took a deep inhale through the nose to ease her nerves.

“I hoped to confront you over our marriage”

“What of it?”

“Do you truly think everything is fine or are you just blind?”

“I and my wife have honored our vows”

“That is the problem, you and your wife, it has never been just your vows”

“When you wed us you were to understand your place when it came to me and (y/n), I never used her as a surprise, you called for our aid and we generously offered it”

He was right, Rhaenyra had never been blindsided by them, (y/n) was a staple of their marriage, (y/n)s strive for the legitimacy of her children was the only reason Daemon allowed their wedding to happen, (y/n) had drank for Rhaenyras cup just as daemon had, binding their hands together and swore loyalty and devotion to their future queen.

As a woman Rhaenyra felt cast aside, this marriage was an insult to her pride, and having to bare through a birth of a child one after the other with a smile on her face was a twist of a knife in her wound, while her womb lay empty.

“You refuse to spend time with me, alone, you only show up with your children-“

“Our children, (y/n) and I call your sons our sons”

“At court yes”

“Are you questioning our actions? I did not have you to be as dim-witted as you seem right now, (y/n) called Lucerys her trueborn son in front of everyone, I took a man’s head for insulting you and our house and yet you stand before me and claim it is not enough for your liking?”

“I stand here to remind you that we have yet to produce a child, you can kill as many men as you wish, and (y/n) can scream it at the top of her lungs but that does not change that everyone sees her parading her belly and call her the realms mother while my womb rottenness under this wedlock”

“Rotten? Alright then, let us entertain this and say you bare my child, a silver-haired beauty that the realm will welcome, has it crossed that brilliant mind of yours that this will be more of a scandal for your three boys?”

“My sons are Targaryens”

“No doubt about it, but certainly they do not look like the part, in comparison to their brothers and sisters they look more like (y/n) than you”

“You are not refusing to lay with me to hush the rumors, you simply do not have the urge for it, I remember a time that you did, mayhaps it was the image of a gullible girl that kept you going”

“Listen and listen well, wife, (y/n) is my eternal love, the woman that took me in her arms and showed me life, you are my blood, I protected you, I defended you, I offered you sanctuary just so you can once again have something to complain about, well that is it, if you dare to summon me again for such idiotic matters I will grab my brother by the neck and force him to annul the marriage do you understand?”

Daemon was furious, as he spoke he started taking steps towards her, to the point that her back found the wall and Daemon was inches away from her face, hissing out the threat of annulment like a snake that released poison to its prey.

Rhaenyra had never experienced such hostility from Daemon, to say she was shocked was an understatement as her eyes frantically tried to find focus on his, daemons eyes were filled with fury, Rhaenyra had crossed the line in his mind, (y/n) had been kind and honorable to the princess, doing her duty like a proper lady wife and Rhaenyra scoffed at her, at his (y/n).

“Alright”

“Wonderful, now you must excuse me, I have some urgent matters that need my attention”

Requests are open!

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manachiichan · 24 days

Text

To see the world that you are so proud of...

Synopsis: Growing up obediently following your empress' shadow, your horizon broaden the moment you met a pirate doning a strawhat who somehow ended up on your island.

Pairing: Monkey D. Luffy x Kuja!Reader, Platonic!Boa Hancock X Fem!Reader

Spoilers from the Amazon Lily and Marineford arcs. Reader is a pure sunshine who is both kind and naive. Having mixed feelings with Luffy now.

|| One Piece Masterlist ||

|| Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

You didn't know what happened after you were forced to leave the arena. You were placed on a cell with two of your fellow warriors guarding as you waited for the outcome of the battle.

"Please! Atleast tell me, Is Marguerite alright...? What about the other two? Sweet Pea and Aphelandra..? Are they alright.?"

"I'm sorry, (Name). But we can't disclose anything to you. All we can say is that the Gorgon sisters are battling that strange man as we speak..."

You sat there in the cell for what it felt like hours. You didn't know what had happened until you were finally allowed to be freed.

However, as soon as you left your cell, you found yourself face to face with one of the Gorgon sister, Boa Sandersonia towered over your form as she gestured you to follow her.

"(Name), Our older sister ordered for you to appear before her."

"May I ask the reason why?"

"You'll see when you get there."

You can see how hesistant her tone was as she refused to look at you in the eye. By her body language alone, you can tell how uneasy and nervous she was being. So to avoid making her uncomfortable, you decided to refrain from talking until you reached the snake princess' bed chambers.

"Oh! It's you!"

Luffy pointed his finger towards you as soon as you entered. His shock expression soon changed to excitement and relief, a grin appearing on his face.

"You're okay! I got worried when they took you away, glad to see that you're not hurt."

You gave him a gentle smile of acknowledgement before focusing your attention towards your empress who sat on her snake, Salome. She was staring directly at you, observing your interaction with the only man in the room.

"Come closer, the two of you..."

She commanded. Unlike Luffy, who approached her without any care, you cautiously took a step forward, expecting for a scolding, a punishment even.

Only for your eyes to widen in shock as she revealed her bare back on to the two of you.

"Snake Princess, but that's-! What about the curse..?!"

You immediately shielded your eyes. Hers and her sisters' backs are a sensitive subject that the whole island knew about. And here she was revealing it for you to see, was this your punishment? For you to turn to stone for disobeying her orders and allowing Luffy to live? Even going far to defending him back at the arena.

"I trust you, (Name). And it is about time you know the truth..."

There on her back, was a symbol dyed in red, circular center with four triangles resembling a claw. At that moment, you see how her shoulders trembled as you observe her mark.

"Is...is it alright for you to show it to us...? my empress, it is something you forbit anyone from discovering..."

You can see how it pained not only her but also Marigold and Sandersonia. Grandma Nyon encouraged to reveal the story, and after a few moments, you finally understood everything.

It was the mark of authority far more superior than of the Pirate Empress. The Celestial Dragon's mark, specifically the mark of slaves that belongs. Everything she experienced and the sufferings she has to endure with her sisters, she revealed it all to you and Luffy.

You stayed silent as Luffy was escorted out, him being invited to the banquet that was host whenever the Kuja Pirates return to the Island with a huge haul. You stayed behind as you felt like you shouldn't leave Hancock alone after everything that had been revealed.

"Has your view of me changer after finding out that I was a former slave...?"

"Can I really speak out my thoughts, Snake Princess? My most honest thoughts?"

You asked, revealing her secret doesn't mean that you should carelessly speak up. Boa Hancock is still the Empress of Amazon Lily, the ruler of the land you were born in.

"I will allow it."

"Then, I will reply with a No....No, I don't think any lesser of you, my empress. In fact, I think....that for to you endure such torment and rise above it is truly admirable. My respect for you just got deepened."

You spoke with true genuine in your tone. Yes, you were anguished with what you just heard. The sufferings of the people who look up upon brought pain in your heart.

"I think that...your past doesn't defy who you are. It just shows how truly strong you are."

For the first time in your life, in years of serving the Pirate Empress. This was the first time you ever saw her smile with tears in her eyes.

It was then night time when Hancock dismissed you from your duties, having kept you around for a longer conversation. You found out the truth about your mother, yet you only found yourself slightly upset. You don't really remember what she look like nor what her personality were when she was alive, however, you could still remember the warmth she emitted whenever both of you share a tender embrace as she on board the empress' ship.

Hancock's attitude around you seems to have slightly changed now. She was more vocal of what she feels and treats you better than she did before, asking for your opinions and outlook of the village. The conversation began changing to how managing the island whenever she was out.

"As you now know, my presence here is somehow a threat. I'm a pirate with a bounty so great, continue doing your duties as usual."

She was more comfortable with you now. Just by thinking about it, made you smile as you nodded at her orders. Eager to aid her with everything.

"Yes, my empress... You can always rely on me."

you immediately went back to the village where the banquet is being held. Now in a more casual clothing, you entered the room and immediately sense the tense atmosphere among the women present there.

The center of their attention was Luffy who was sitting, eating his heart out as dishes were served on his table.

"What's going on?"

"(Name) is it really okay for a man to be present on the homecoming banquet.?"

One of the warriors asked, a look of concern is visible on her face, glancing at Luffy with skeptism.

"The Snake Princess already favors him, therefore we will treat Luffy with hospitality."

Just as you said that, Luffy stood up on the table with a ladle and wok pan, demanding that the women should sing and dance since it is a banquet.

A small smile made way on to your lips, covering them as you let a small giggle of amusement.

In that instant, the atmosphere changed into a lively one with the women eventually joining in, copying Luffy as he danced and pranced around.

Lively to the point, they all got comfortable around him.

"Hey now. Everyone, that's enough."

You scolded, seeing how they all gotten too comfortable around him to the point they all have been reaching towards his rubbery skin.

"Hey!"

Soon you found yourself looking for Luffy as the women all went after him in hopes of touching his skin.

"There you are, Luffy..."

You found him crouching on a building roof. As soon as you said that, his long rubbery arms stretched and grabbed you by your waist towards him.

"Geez...What's the matter with you guys?!"

"I apologize on their behalf. It's just... we barely seen a man this close before..."

You gave him an apologetic smile. Seeing that, he soon let out a laugh as he told you that it was fine.

"I never really got to thank you for defending me in that arena earlier."

"I...just did what I thought was right...."

You told him, slightly ashamed on your actions yet you never regretted it. Yes, you felt guilty for disobeying the Snake Princess, but you couldn't find it in yourself to just allow them to kill Luffy when it wasn't his fault that he ended up stranded on your Island.

"Say Luffy...What does the outside world looks like...?"

You asked. Your curiosity resurfaced after many years of trying to supress it, was it because of Luffy being here? But after becoming Boa Hancock's closest aid, you devoted yourself to follow every command without questions. Your loyalty overcame the curiosity about the world outside of Amazon Lily.

"Are....the seas really that vast? Are there really more islands out there?"

Back then, Hancock barely spoke to you and you could only rely on either Sandersonia or Marigold to tell you all about what they had seen while traveling through the seas. Brief conversations that could never satisfy you. It was thirst of wanting something that you know you will never have.

After all you have a duty to serve and protect Amazon Lily as it's devoted warrior.

"I dunno. Our adventures are always been exciting that I never really cared how big the sea is. But I do know that the Grandline is huge! I can't wait to sail and see everything with my crew!"

Luffy told you about his recent adventures. From his entry to the grandline, meeting Laboon the huge whale, up to his battles on Thriller Bark.

"There are Islands in the sky?!"

"Yeah! I even beated up this guy with long earlobes!"

"Woah..!"

Luffy grinned as he stared at your sparkling eyes that was looking back at him with wonder and admiration. He was reminded of Chopper just by staring at you. He wanted to see his crew badly now.

"I'll sail through these seas and become the King of Pirates!"

"I'm sure that you'll be able to do it!"

You encouraged, getting all hyped up from just his words alone. Luffy's aura reminded you of the sun and its brightness. That's how you felt just being near him.

Warmth.

"You know, you could just get on board that pirate ship your Empress have. You'll see how big the grandline is, with your own eyes."

You faltered at his words, he seem to have noticed and started to frown.

"What's wrong?"

"I just....feel like I have a sense of duty to stay here. And the snake princess said it herself. I'm not ready to leave the Island just yet."

"Why? You're already strong..."

"I can't disobey the Snake Princess, Luffy..."

Why can't you disobey? Was it because obeying her was something that you already drilled into your mind at a young age...? Or is it because you can't make decisions for yourself without having someone tell you what to do.

You grew up never knew how to say 'No'. It was always you doing what you have been told without ever complaining whether the task is easy or difficult. Because you hated to disappoint not only your Empress but also your fellow warriors.

"I see..."

Luffy just looked at you as if he already knows what was going on, yet he didn't say anything. His eyes stared at your tense and slightly trembling form. He then went through his pockets and pulled out a chunk of meat that he managed to save right before he was chased after by the Kujas.

"I do what I wanna do, I'm captain of my ship. Not even my crew can stop me!....Well maybe Nami. She's scary like a demon."

He took a huge bite before looking back at you with a grin. Seeing bits of meat stuck on his teeth made you laugh slightly. Luffy is really is a silly man.

"It doesn't hurt not to listen all the time. You went to defend me even when you know that you'll be in trouble. You do what you think is right!"

Your words from earlier came back towards you. You couldn't help but grew fond of him, hearing his somehow meaningful words as he feasted on the meat was holding without a care in the world.

He doesn't even seems to realize the effect his words he had on you.

"Thank you, Luffy...."

You stood up from your place and immediately waved discreetedly towards Marguerite who spotted you right away.

"Hey...! What are you doing?!.... They might see me and chase me again...!"

"You need a place to hide, right? Don't worry, Marguerite knows what to do. She'll take you there."

When Luffy came back from Marineford, he was gravely injured. You could only watch from the distance as the men wearing white boiler suits docked at the far side of the Island.

The last time you saw him was when he left in a hurry to save his brother Ace from execution. Your Empress gave you a brief summary of what had happened and gave you temporary management of the warriors while her and her sisters sailed off.

"(Name)...Keep watch over those men on the far side of the Island. Report back once Luffy regain conciousness...please..."

The Snake Princess looks very distraught, so you immediately agreed upon hearing her request. Not a command, but a request. You could never deny a request.

Two weeks. That was how long you kept watch. The warriors back at the village would often bring you meals. By following the rules with the exception of Luffy, you kept your distance from the men and hid on top of trees.

Eventually, Luffy woke up. You were happy and was about to report until you noticed something odd.

Luffy went on a rampage.

"Hey...Can you report this to the Snake Princess in my stead? Tell her that Luffy regained conciousness..."

You asked a fellow Kuja who happens to be nearby. From the distance you could hear distant shouting of intense agony and destruction.

"Luffy!"

You stood on top of a tree branch, watching in absolute shock, as Luffy destroys everything around him. Trees and boulders. Nothing was left untouched. You began to worry that he might reopen his wounds.

Fortunately, the blue fish-man managed to calm him down. But the sight of Luffy crying made you feel a sudden ache from within too. As if you could feel his pain. Luffy lost his brother, and it somehow hurt you too.

"It must have hurt so much....doesn't it...Luffy?"

You were hurting for him. You want him to show his usual sunshine smile like he always have. Crying is not something you want to see Luffy do yet you don't even know how to comfort him.

"I want to approach and say something but..."

You weren't naive. You know of the snake princess' illness and how much she needs Luffy if she wants to live long. So to spare your own feelings you decided at that moment, to stay away from him even after growing so fond of him. How much you wanted to be there for him now that he needed someone to lean on as he suffers.

"The....empress' happiness comes first..."

So now, you could only watch on a distance as your heart breaks from hearing his cries.

#luffy x reader #monkey d luffy x y/n #luffy x female reader #one piece x female reader #one piece x reader #luffy x you #monkey d. luffy x reader #amazon lily #kuja reader #female reader #luffy x y/n #luffy x reader angst #boa hancock x reader

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pythonthesnaketamer · 3 months

Text

~the shadow jester's play~

I saw the trailer and had this cool idea, an entire puppet show of the lore told from his perspective.

I wrote the script at like 7 am and made the video at 10pm so. It may not be the best in both regards. But ykk

Music: shadow bonnie's lullaby

All sprites were drawn by me ultimately, either from scratch or using the trailer versions as reference.

Ill provide the script below :)

(Dark blue curtains open to an empty stage. Only puppets of gingerbrave, strawberry and wizard are visble.)

"Our story begins with a small little INSAGNIFICANT child~! Oh! There he is now! Say hello, gingerbrave~!"

"Insignificant??"

"Poor old gingerbrave! He was baked by the witches just to be EATEN! good thing he and his stupid little friends weren't there!"

"Stupid?!"

"Nonono! They were seeking down the ancients~!"

(Curtains close. They open to show a pink, hollyberrian themed stage. A puppet of hollyberry, princess, and the redish green dragon are present.)

"There was hollyberry! The 'brave dragon warrior'! Can't be too brave to abandon her kingdom.. oh, but she came back to defeat the dragon! Doesn't that justify EVERYTHING in the end?"

(Pink curtains close. They open again to a purple, caconian themed stage. Puppets of dark cacao, caramel arrow, affogato and dark choco are present.)

"Then there came dark cacao, the undefeatable king! He's bested dragons, he's defeated armies! Just to be betrayed by his own son..~"

(Purple curtains close. They open to a yellow, golden cheese themed stage. Puppets of golden cheese, burnt cheese and mozzarella are present.)

"Then there was golden cheese! The golden sovereign as her people cry! But she couldn't even save those very people from death~!"

(Yellow curtains close. They open to a green, flower decorated stage. Puppets of white lily and dark enchantress are present.)

"Then there was white lily.. precious white lily.."

"Precious..?"

"She did her verryyy best to keep us sealed away.. oh but then came dark enchantress~! Pasts do come to haunt us, hm?~"

(Green curtains close. A stage opens to a soft yellow, vanillian themed stage, also decorated with flowers. Only a puppet of pure vanilla is present.)

"And there was pure vanilla. The great king, pure vanilla! But what king was he? His kingdom was dead! And worse, so much of this could be blamed on him~!"

"..."

(Soft blue and yellow curtains close. They open to a stage themed like a eye infested faerie tree, with Puppets of the ancients, gingerbrave, strawberry, wizard, elder faerie and some faerie kingdom cookies present.)

"Gingerbrave and his friends collected these five 'ancient heros' to defeat the (mock voice) 'BiG BaD AnCiEnT BeAsTs'! When the beasts came free, however, these silly silly cookies quickly realized they were outmatched! They quickly lost, and the beasts roamed free once again~! Hahahahaha~!!"

"!!"

(The curtains close, and open one last time, to a bowing shadow milk surrounded by discarded- showing to be "dead", puppets)

"The end."

Edit: I POSTED THE VIDEO WITHOUT SOUND FUCK

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totesnothere04 · 11 months

Text

From Heartbreak to Harmony

Neytiri x F!Omatikaya!Reader x Jake

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fanart, screenshots, or gifs used with my stories.

Warnings: Hurt to comfort, tsaheylu, major character death, yall... (Y/n) gots alot of friggin kids. Also 4 releases in one weekend?? Holy crap.

"Okay let's go through them again." Grace said as she started showing Jake pictures of important members of the clan.

"Mo'at the dragon lady." Jake says and Grace changes the image. "Eytucan." Jake says and Grace rolls her eyes.

"Eytukan. He's the clan leader, and she's the spiritual leader. Like a shaman." Grace tells him and shows him the next.

"Su'tey." Jake says.

"Tsu'tey." Grace corrects him.

"Tsu'tey." Jake corrects himself.

"He's the high warrior." Grace tells him and shows the next picture.

"Neytiri and (Y/n)." Jake says as he takes the tablet and looks at the picture closer.

"Of course those are the two you get right." Norm says exasperated.

"Hey focus." Grace warns Jake when she sees he's about to argue with Norm. "Neytiri is the next clan leader and (Y/n) is the next Tsahík. They become a mated pair." Grace says and Jake seems confused.

"But how will they produce the next of their line?" Jake asks and Norm decides to flaunt his knowledge.

"It's not unheard of for the leaders of the clan to have a third mate." Norm tells Jake and leans against the hand rails. "Which you would know if you had any knowledge of their customs."

"Well who has a date with both of the future clan leaders?" Jake says cheekily and Norm throws his hands up.

"C'mon man that doesn't count-" Norm says and Grace shushes them both.

"Link now. Village life starts early." She says and leans over Jake after he lays down. "Don't do anything overly stupid." Jake doesn't respond as he shuts the lid over himself. When he opens his eyes he finds a pair of eyes staring back at him.

"Come JakeSulì. I will redress your wound." You tell him and he's quick to get out of his hammock. He follows behind you getting a better look at his surroundings now that it's daytime. When you get to the healer's area you gesture for him to sit and he does as asked. You sit across from him and take his old dressings off. He watches you as you apply a salve to his wound and can't help but admire your features. Your bioluminescent freckles aren't visible in the daylight but their pattern is still captivating.

"So, you're promised to Neytiri huh?" Jake asks trying to make conversation. You look up at him and nod.

"We have been courting since we were 14 cycles. I was chosen as tsakarem at 16 cycles, and she was chosen to be the next Olo'eyktan." You tell him and he nods. You back away from him after you're finished and wash your hands off in a bowl of water and dry them off. "Come. We will eat first meal and Neytiri will take you to start your training." He gets up and follows behind you again. You squat down and so does Jake, then not long after Neytiri joins the two of you. It's quiet as the three of you eat.

After you were all finished eating Neytiri planted a kiss on the top of your head and dragged Jake behind her. You smiled softly as you watched her drag the odd uniltìranyu with her.

Later in the day Neytiri and Jake showed up and Mo'at excused you. You followed Neytiri as she led the small group into the forest. When you walked into the treeline you took a deep breath and ran your hands over a few tree trunks. Eywa's voice danced around you and your companions as she led the three of you on an unknown path. Neytiri finally stopped and sat down on a thick tree branch and you sat down next to her. You allowed your fingers to glide over the moss covering the tree bark and you smiled.

"I had (Y/n) join us to help with teaching you our language and to teach you about Eywa." Neytiri tells Jake who nods.

It had been a few months since Jake had started his training and you started to contemplate something. You were going to propose the idea of Jake being your and Neytiri's third mate. He is strong and once he started learning you found him intelligent and a quick learner. Though his reluctance to believe in the Great Mother was a questionable quality to you. Neytiri believed him ready to tame an ikran, but you voiced that you didn't think that to her. Your concern is he didn't want to learn about Eywa. She told Tsu'tey he was ready anyways and had him take him along with the other ready warriors and hunters.

When they returned and Jake had tamed an ikran you started to get an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Something was about to happen but you had no idea what it could possibly be. There were so many things going on in your world right now that it could be anything from an attack by the sky demons, to someone close to you dying again. Mo'at spent the better part of the evening helping to ease your growing concern. But the Great Mother had never lied to you before, so you would not start questioning her now. That night you prepared yourself spiritually for whatever it might be.

The next morning you woke up early and went to prepare healing supplies for the day with Mo'at. After first meal you sat working quietly when your curiosity got the best of you.

"Have you seen Neytiri this morning? I would like to suggest our third mate to her before we present him to you." You say and Mo'at clicks her tongue disapprovingly.

"I have not seen Neytiri today. She was not in her hammock either. I thought she might have slept in here after last night festivities, but she was not here either." Mo'at says and you got the same gut feeling that you had the night prior.

"What if what I am sensing has to do with Neytiri?" You ask Mo'at and her head shoots up to look in your eye.

"It is a possibility. We all return to the Great Mother when the time is right." Mo'at says and you nod.

"I am aware, but my fear exists in having to be given a new mate. I have fallen in love with Neytiri." You tell her and she places a hand on your arm.

"Tsu'tey is in love with Sylwanin. It is why he refused to be chosen to be the third mate. However, if it must happen he knows he is the first choice to take Neytiri's place." Mo'at says. "For both Olo'eyktan and as your mate. He holds the right to refuse our choice, as you do." It seems like she is going to continue speaking when you hear Tsu'tey shouting in the main area. You and Mo'at look at eachother then go to investigate. His hunting party returned early from their outing and you frown.

"Tsu'tey, what is the meaning of this?" You ask him and he looks over at you.

"The demons have destroyed the Tree of Voices. They flattened them to the ground and left nothing of them behind." Tsu'tey says and your hands fly to your mouth. A startled cry erupts from your throat.

"Neytiri might have been showing them to Jake now that he is one of The People." You told Mo'at quietly and you see a short moment of fear cross her features.

"We must stay here. Soon it will be your time to take my place in deciding to take action to war. You must learn to make this decision, ma'ite." Mo'at says and you bow your head in understanding. The proceedings were intense but there was no opposition to going to war with the demons. Tsu'tey was celebrating the preparation of war when Jake and Neytiri emerged from the crowd. You felt relief flood your body when you saw Neytiri was okay, so you made your way to her. But her scent was off. She did not smell just of herself but Jake as well and you took a step away from her. Tsu'tey shoved Jake to the ground and Neytiri pushed him away, and you knew.

"You mated with this woman?" Tsu'tey asked as he cast his eyes to you, who stood nearby.

"Is this true?" Mo'at asked angrily as she came forward. Neytiri looked like a child who had just gotten caught doing something they weren't supposed to do.

"We are mated before Eywa. It is done." Neytiri says in finality and you wrap your arms around yourself. Mo'at pulls you into her arms when she senses your sadness well up within you.

"Ma'tiyawn, we wanted you to come with us but we could not find you." Neytiri says as she tries to come to you but you put your hand up to silence her.

"You have made me the third." You tell her and her ears pinned back. "If you had both waited until this morning I was going to speak with you privately about taking him as our third. However, you have now disrespected my placement on our mating by doing this." You tell her and Neytiri looks close to tears and Jake is looking at you with eyes full of hope.

"Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite, because of this you can never be Olo'eyktan. Your actions have shown impatience and impulsive behavior, which cannot be tolerated from a leader." Mo'at says. "(Y/n) will remain tsakarem and Tsu'tey will become her Olo'eyktan and mate should he accept." Mo'at speaks in an authoritative tone and she looks at Tsu'tey.

"I accept." Tsu'tey says as he makes eye contact with you. Jake speaks up after all of this is declared.

"Tsu'tey, brother. Do not attack the sky people. Many Omatikaya will die if you do." Jake says and Tsu'tey pulls out his knife.

"You are NOT my brother!" Tsu'tey attacks Jake only for Jake to throw him off balance.

"And I am not your enemy! The real enemy is out there and they are very powerful!" Jake says. "I can talk to them."

"No more talk!" Tsu'tey yells as he charges forward to try to attack Jake again but he sidesteps his attack and only sustains a cut. Tsu'tey tries to stab Jake again only for Jake to stop his arm, punch him across the jaw, knees him in the chest, then punches him directly in his nose. You gawk at the fighting style as it is foreign to you and you immediately recognize that this man is far more trained than most of your clan.

"I am Omatikaya. I am one of you. And I have the right to speak." Jake says. "I have something to say... to all of you." Jake pauses and grimaces. "The words are like stones in my heart." He finishes in the demon language.

Grace drops to the ground and you run to her side and start looking over her for any wounds.

"Grace!" Neytiri yells and drops to her knees on her other side.

"Oh no. Look I was sent here to-" Jake says in a rushed manner then promptly falls to his knees. Tsu'tey takes this as an opportunity and lifts Jake's head up with his knife to Jake's throat.

"You see? It is a demon in a false body." Tsu'tey says and Neytiri pounces on his back and throws him away from Jake's still body. He directs his knife toward her and she stands over Jake protectively with hers drawn as well. You exhale and walk back to the healer's area to continue preparations. Some time later Jake and Grace are awake again and Mo'at gathers you to stand beside her.

"Ma'Eytukan! I have something to say." Jake says hurriedly and Grace joins his side.

"Listen to him." She says.

"Speak JakeSulí." Eytukan says and Jake takes a deep breath.

"A great evil is upon us. The sky people are coming to destroy Hometree!" Jake says and Mo'at becomes concerned. "Tell 'em they're gonna be here soon." He says to Neytiri and she translates for Eytukan.

"Are you certain of this?" Mo'at asks.

"Look, they sent me here to learn your ways. So that one day I could deliver this message and you'd believe it." Jake says and you glare at him.

"What are you saying Jake? That you knew this would happen?" Neytiri asks him and he hesitates.

"Yes. Look, at first it was just orders. But then I fell in love. With the forest and with the Omatikaya people. And with you and (Y/n)." Jake says and Neytiri looks like she's holding back tears.

"I trusted you." Neytiri says as she starts to back away from him.

"With you and (Y/n)!" Jake continues to try and calm her but she's angry. She continues to yell at him until she finally walks away from him. Eytukan looks at both yours and Neytiri's sad expressions and turns to the warriors.

"Bind them!" Eytukan says and everything became a blur after that. Grace and Jake were dragged out of Hometree and you stayed with Mo'at inside. After an hour or so you heard the sound of the sky demons machines outside. A few moments later a metal canister flew through the entrance of Hometree. It released smoke that caused your eyes to water so to protect the children and mothers you started telling them to run for the trees. Then they started shooting at Hometree. The explosions throw you off of your feet and you try to push through and get out of Hometree. You're stopped a little ways away from Hometree by Eytukan.

"You must go! Run for the forest!" Eytukan says but he quickly throws you behind him and a massive explosion throws you both off of your feet. When you make contact with the ground your head hits it hard and everything goes dark.

You wake up to the sound of fire and someone shouting for the father. You take notice of Eytukan a short way away and run to his side as best as you can.

"Ma'Eytukan... I'm so sorry. I should have gotten up sooner." You cry as you look over the piece of wood that's straight through his chest.

"Ma'ite. Lead the people wisely." Eytukan says as he takes off his headpiece and hands it to you and you cry harder.

"Ma'sempul!" You finally recognize the voice as Neytiri's as she finds you both. She cries out as she joins you by his side.

"Ma'ite, protect the people." Eytukan says as he hands Neytiri his bow. When she has a good hold on it his arm goes slack. Neytiri falls into hysterical crying and you wrap an arm around her shoulder as you sob quietly next to her.

"Neytiri! (Y/n)!" You hear Jake searching for both you and his mate, but you can't bring yourself to look up at him. He stumbles into the small clearing you're in and he drops to his knees on Eytukans other side. He looks over the beloved Olo'eyktans dead body and he reaches over to set one hand on Neytiri's neck and takes one of your hands in his.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jake says trying to console both of you.

"Get away." Neytiri says through sobs but her sadness quickly turns to anger. "Get away! Get away from here, never come back." She takes Jake's place and cradles her father's body in her arms as she continues to cry. Jake looks on like he's lost and turns then leaves. You put on the headpiece that Eytukan gave you and quietly follow Jake. He collapses and you check him over to make sure he wasn't wounded but find he's alright. You leave your leather pouch full of fresh water on his chest and run off to follow the rest of the clan to the Tree of Souls.

The next couple of days are filled with sadness as the clan mourns the loss of the Olo'eyktan and Hometree. However, the days following Toruk Maktos return are chaotic. War breaks out as 15 clans come together to rid the world of the demons. In the war, you lost your second promised mate and you feel lost.

After a new Hometree is found a new Olo'eyktan is chosen, and it's Toruk Makto himself. Mo'at refused to allow her daughter the title because of her past actions. During the time of rebuilding Jake and Neytiri approached you.

"I meant what I said before the destruction of the original Hometree. I want to be mated with both of you because I am in love with you. The passion and love your eyes held when you taught me about Eywa and helped teach me the language. It made you even more beautiful than you already are. Please join us in our mating?" Jake says and he offers you his tswin and Neytiri offers hers as well. Your breathing becomes shallow as you look from the eyes to their tswin's presented to you. You feel tears start to fall from your eyes and Jake uses his free hand to wipe them away. You take a deep breath and present your tswin to them. The three groups of nerve endings dance until they all bond together. You wrap one arm around Jake's waist and the other around Neytiri's shoulders. The intimacy quickly changes from gentle and comforting, to aroused and complete.

Months later you welcome your first son into the world as Neteyam te Sulí Tsyeyek'itan, right after little Kiri te Sulí Kìreysì'ite born from Grace's avatar, then Neytiri brought Lo'ak te Sulí Tsyeyek'itan. Many cycles later both you and Neytiri brought one more child each. She gave birth to Tukitery te Sulí Neytiri'ite, and you were blessed with another boy, on the same day as Neytiri welcomed Tuk, you welcomed Tomis te Sulí Tsyeyek'itan. Blessed was the only word you would use to describe your life now as you watched your mate teach and play with your children.

Permanent Taglist(message me if you want taken off of it): @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed, @kenzi-woycehoski.

#avatar #jake sully x reader x neytiri #jake sully x reader #neytiri #neytiri x reader #jake sully #avatar 2009

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what-even-is-thiss · 1 year

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I'm kind of fascinated by Ares/Mars as a character. Understandably he's not very well liked. Because he generally represents the undesirable parts of war. Bloodlust, fighting, terror, chaos.

But he's also a god of courage, and a god you want on your side when you go into a war. He also seems to respect women more than other Greek and Roman gods, generally. There's few direct references to him forcing himself on people that I've found. They exist, and many of the references to his lovers are vague so we can't be sure what the women thought of the situation so that should be kept in mind.

His daughters are often prominent in the myths, founding the Amazons and becoming various queens and notable warriors within that tribe. In fact, I'd wager his daughters often take a bigger space in our collective consciousness than his sons, Queen Hippolyta being among one of his most famous children. And he gives courage to his daughters in equal measure to his sons, giving one of his infant daughters the ability to suck milk from her dead mother and survive by force of will.

He's also surprisingly weak. He loses a boxing match against Hermes when they fought over a woman. He gets trapped in a jar for several months by giants. He isn't always on the winning side.

In the Orphic hymn 65 to Ares it says he is "pleased with war’s dreadful and tumultuous roar." but also, it asks him for peace. "Stay furious contests, and avenging strife, whose works with woe embitter human life;... for arms exchange the labours of the field; encourage peace, to gentle works inclined, and give abundance, with benignant mind."

Ares Mars is confusing. Like he's still an embodiment of some of the worst parts of war, but he gives power to the worthy regardless of gender, he's the one you go to to beg for peace, he's the one you go to for courage. Also, he's not indestructible. I think I get why the Romans smushed him together with a fertility god. You need land for agriculture. What's the only way to get more land in the ancient world? War. And Rome, above anything else, was into farming and war. Putting the two together isn't as illogical as you think.

I also always think off how Athena Minerva is almost universally loved even in the present day. But why? She's also a war god. She gets to sit in the tent seeing soldiers as chess pieces while Ares is on the field with them. Arguably she is just as responsible for carnage and woe as he is.

When death goes missing and the mortals are left to suffer through their wounds, never dying, it's Ares who notices. Not Athena. Not anyone else. He's also the one who does something about it and goes to save him.

Do I like Ares? No, not really. Like anyone else I don't particularly enjoy war. In fact, I wish it didn't exist. However, I do think that as a character he's way more complicated than he's often given credit for.

Also one of his sons is a literal dragon. Hell yeah.

#roman said a thing #mythology

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ohhnorr · 2 years

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Genshin impact is so painful now

I love this game to death, the open world and its lore, the dragons, the gameplay, and the land of liyue reeled me in. And ofc Kaeya was one of the major reasons I started playing. I've been playing the game like maybe a month since it was released. So, like the launch era (yes I take pride in that it was the best era).

Mondstadt was an amazing introduction, to the familiar buildings of Germany. And the beautiful design of the culture mixed with the signature of genshin's design made the characters brilliant. Now the first story event (reconciling stars??) made me heavily excited about all the lore that was hidden ingame.

When I got to liyue I was glued to the game, forever, I thought. This was china from a whole nother perspective for me as a Moroccan. And to see such an elegant (not heavily sexualized) character like Ninguang in that cutscene. Yo, I fell in love. Childe was cute too, but then the man that got me everything or anything related to excitement and admiration came upon us. Zhongli. Oh, he was the package, with a beautiful outfit reminding u of the Chinese culture as it has its own modern genshin signature twist. Stunning. It's such characters that get me obsessed with games. Next to all of the intricate details and lore plus gameplay.

To finish off, Inazuma. That was one beautiful region, from the flora to the architecture. The temples and that beautiful quest. Ayaka's design is by far one of my favourites. Her design has her culture written all over it and it's beautiful. In Inazuma, we have so many characters inspired by their Japanese ancestry and it looks stunning and recognizable.

But then the sumeru leaks dwindled along. I was super excited for sumeru, that was my downfall.

After seeing these 3 beautifully represented cultures i was so naïvely excited for Sumeru. And thats expected right, i was rightfully excited to see the beautiful culture of the middle east, north africa and SEA being equally represented like the other three.

But thats when i heard al haitham an important arab figure whose name is now being occupied by a white buff tech man with a fandom who couldnt even pronounce his name right and call him habibi ?

ATTENTION: REPRESENTING. SWANA

Unrecognizable. In no way was the representation of Sumeru as intricately thought out as with the other regions. We have been colorised, orientalized and sexualized once again.

I'm gonna start with the one hurting me the most, Dehya.

(Listen i only heard her name and i was so excited to see my culture in this game i was jumping and ecstatic to see representation--- wait she is a cat girl warrior tf)

Dehya's name is inspired by Dihya, the name of an Amazigh Algerian military queen (Kahena). So quite a name to live up to. The Imazighen (us North Africans) barely get any representation as it is. And when we do, we become drawn out as barbarians or savages (for example another "name" for us is Berbers which the Romans called us).

Now what does Dehya look like huh? Yes indeed she has been revealed to be some warrior cat with an wild and savage look. And as an amazigh i hoped to see at least a little of our beautiful culture respresented. Yet i didint recognize any cultural aspects in comparison to litteraly any character in this game.

While we actually wear alot of beautiful jewelry! And we also have beautiful tribal tattoos, and Dihya herself is such a stunning figure to take refrence from.

But instead we get practically nothing. So we are now standing up for her. And yet there are people complaining against us saying that sexualization happens to every character. But Dehya is litteraly oversexualized on such a level that no cultural aspect is recognizable nor a point of interest.

Look im aware of the sexualization of female characters in games especially in gacha's. And its mostly the reason why i dont play alot of them. Yet in genshin its more mild and the design still upholds cultural aspects. Like with Inazuman characters; https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/o7eifv/inazuma_characters_design_analysis_spoilers_for/

And alot of Liyue characters;

This is why i ask of the bare minimum. To analyze and take interest in the amazigh culture. So Dehya's design could be oh so much more elevated and still badass. Because we as well would love to see a badass cat warrior with actual amazigh tattoos, clothes and jewelry.

Unfortunatly she isint the only problematic character.

Nilou, is an Persian dancer. Whilst having culturally accurate horns from the Sassanian period and a burst move from the gorgeous Persian dance. She has still been sexualized and orientalized. Dancers have always had their stomachs covered. Its culture, it's beautiful. By exposing the belly it's unrecognizable as Persian and becomes mixed with the Arab belly dancing outfit. If they want to sexualise her that badly then exposing the belly is the worst move- it erases the culture, it mixes with another culture, it sexualizes and orientalizes. It becomes a problem.

(Cr: demonscallme on twitter)

Tighnari, an amazigh name supposedly Moroccan. With ears from the fennec an animal from the western desert. Other than that his outfit and design is all over the place. In genshin they are more than capable of making modern day clothing mix with cultural themes. Yet this is not working at all. Nothing is recognizable nor representative of anything amazigh nor arab. Its just a jumbled mess. Disappointing in comparison to the modern clothing and cultural mixture of design with for example zhongli.

Dori is the worst of all the characters. She is orientalized and sexualized. No one encounters representation except seeing a fucking joke. She has no cultural aspects that are recognizable instead she is the spitting image of an orientalized character. They have a huge region and countries with countless cultures to take interest in. Yet they went with none and followed stereotypes. Her clothing is also grossly sexualized for a child model. It's disappointing how we are being spat on, our cultures are being treated like a joke.

Now a major argument against anything related to the word orientalism had been "it's fictional".

Stereotyping and racism are stated under orientalism. When we say it's racist, stereotyped, and so orientalized it is wrong, it should not be spread around as if it's nothing. It hurts to see and it's disrespectful. So we SWANA deserve just like the german, Chinese and Japanese to be respected and upheld with the same input into our designated region. This game isin't so fictional anymore.

Colourism, all characters until now are pale. Not denying it. We have in the swana region, people of all colours. If u are gonna represent characters from that region we expect different skin tones. To be recognizing oneself is an amazing experience. And it would be representing swana perfectly. It does not hurt it only embraces. That's why we are speaking up about this. Look I'm willing to wait, to take this back, the moment we get a broad set of people from different skin colours. Its not hard to do, it does not contradict anything. So why are people still pressed? Aren't we supposed to break free from the stupid standard of the pale is elevated. There are white Arabs yes, I'm not saying we can't have any pale characters. But with a region as broad as the swana region. There are bound to be some different skin tones and that should not be ignored.

To conclude,

we want to have equal input into our region as there has been done with the previous three. We want people to see our beautiful cultures. And above all, we want to be respected. Yes, we cannot have everything, but it does not hurt to try. It does not hurt to speak out. And you who are against this notion, you are not achieving freemogems out of this. You are not changing our minds. You are not the only one in the world. Broaden your perspectives. For the sake of an exceptional game.

#genshin impact #genshin impact inazuma #genshin #genshin impact liyue #genshin impact leaks #sumeru #genshin leaks #genshin impact sumeru #sumeru leaks #genshin impact dehya #dehya #genshin impact haitham #al haitham #Tighnari #Dori #Nilou #Collei #genshin sumeru

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gaykarstaagforever · 9 months

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FREE ON YOUTUBE

...YouTube, I feel like your free animated movie recommendations have declined in quality a bit since the halcyon days of Osmosis Jones.

Yes, it is a blatant Kung Fu Panda knockoff, with an American voice cast that is clearly whoever was home at 11 am the week they called.

This is bad. Like, unfinished, I think I'm missing like half the movie, they forgot to resolve the main plot and it just stops, bad. There is a scene where the only character on screen suffers an animation error, and no one fixed it. The framerate of the movie drops every time the action picks up or the camera swings around too fast. Like...you made a computer-animated movie, and you don't have the hardware or time to do...you know...computer animation? The stones on the Chinese producers of this mess.

Not everything has to be Pixar or DreamWorks. CG is hard. I get it. But you gotta work to your strengths. In this case, the computers you are using can't even render the movie properly. Like...I don't know how you get around that. That's kind of a major issue.

Technical incompetence aside, this suffers from the usual bad CG animation problems of every character looking like they come from a different artistic universe, and most of the action is generic mocaping that doesn't take into account how any real bodies shaped like these bodies would move. And there are just things they didn't bother capturing. Like none of these dough monsters ever stands up on screen.

Shot composition is a disaster. Most scenes are a mob of creatures standing in a pack in an empty space, doing exaggerated facial reactions to someone else talking. It's like bad machinima made in the Skylanders games engine, except all of the character designs are way worse.

The plot, such as they attempted it, is supposed to be about a small, incompetent warrior who looks like Jackie Chan who gets transported to the mystical realm of Merryland by a magical jade necklace his grandfather gave him. There, he transforms into an anthropomorphic panda, for reasons that are never explained. There is a prophecy that a Panda Warrior is destined to save the realm, and our guy is apparently it, except there is a flashback to like a couple of years ago when the ultimate evil took over, and...there is ANOTHER Panda Warrior who was just there and sort of stopped it? But then didn't? Who the hell was that guy?!

Also the ultimate evil is one of the two sky-whales who guard the Dragon Ball (yes, literally) just turning evil because it absorbed too much power. Why did this happen? How are you going to stop it from happening again? Then that whale turns into a nine-headed snake after an evil mouse from the real world just...is there, and merges with the Whale. After the snake is defeated the mouse just crawls out of it and runs away, and no one says a damn thing.

Our panda warrior and his 7 legendary warrior friends kung fu fight the snake at least 3 different times, and never get close to stopping it. And the panda doesn't do anything special or lead them, he is just there, and then at the very end his necklace glows and that...helps? Somehow? The true hero here is, and I'm not joking, Jimmy Ginseng, a tiny ginseng man with an erhu who shows up whenever the warriors are losing, plays the erhu, the enemy gets soothed by the song, and then Jimmy gets tired and leaves. EVERY BATTLE ends like this, including the final one.

So...?

The panda has that cool green sword in the picture. And he does have it. It is just...a sword, thst someone randomly gives him. I think he ends up dropping it and it never comes up again.

Also all the warriors are animals, except for the one who is a talking tree stump...filled with lava. And he dies at the end by setting himself and the snake on fire. Because his master, a purple fox, told him to do that to save everyone. ...Except the SNAKE SURVIVED IT, and they had to fight it again, lose, and wait for Jimmy to show up.

The bull character also sacrifices himself, TWICE, to save everyone else, and both times that doesn't work, either.

The movie ends with Merryland being restored from the devastation of the snake...BEFORE the snake is defeated. It just...gets better, after they resuce an elf girl princess who does...something...? And then the regrown flowers shoot the snake with missiles of some kind. Which ALSO fails to defeat it.

The panda doesn't go home and become human again and nothing is explained. But during the credits there is a fight scene between the little human warrior and his general, in which they get drunk and wrestle and tons of fight animations repeat in a loop for 3 minutes. Is this part of the movie? Are these outtakes? What does this have to do with anything? If this is what happens after he got home, I don't know why or what it means.

...My guess is that the first panda warrior we see was supposed to be his grandfather, as a panda? That was probably the idea? But no one ever says that. The movie doesn't remember to explain that.

This was translated from Chinese. Perhaps the translation is terrible. Or they did a massive reedit of this for the US release. That could explain some of this. ...But then why didn't they cut out the glitch scene, or some of the shots with the bad framerate? There are literal 10 second sequences in this movie where there is no dialogue or music, just a camera sleeping over a scenery to ambient nature sounds. Who reedits a movie for the foreign market and cuts out vital plot scenes, but leaves in shit like that?

...Unless all those vital plot scenes had even worse technical problems. Jesus. That's a terrifying thought.

One positive here. While nearly all of the voice work is as boring and bored as you'd expect, the immortal Tom Kenny is good, with what very little he is given to do, here. The man is a professional.

And here is the weirdest thing: Rob Schneider is really good here as the panda man and Jimmy Ginseng. Like, shockingly good. Like, this is without exaggeration the best performances of this man's miserable life. He is funny, charming, nuanced, he feels like he is reacting properly during what were probably one-sided conversations recorded on different days in different places. It is shocking how good he is in this awful, stupid movie. My only guess is that he was somehow involved in bringing this over and it was going to serve as an audition piece to get him more voice work. In which case, like, fair enough, dude. You nailed it. He is genuinely very good in this very bad movie.

What an odd artifact from 2012. What a waste of time. Why did YouTube recommend this? What do any of us gain from being shown this? I am just flabbergasted.

You're on time out with these movie suggestions, Google.

Also there is a pig who flies who looks like this:

Those aren't ears, they are just gross misshapen tendrils that bob around as she moves. It's like someone was playing with a stretch tool and then...stopped.

I was gonna end with "Now let's have Jimmy Ginseng play us out," but I can only find this one bad picture of him, and it doesn't show his erhu:

Here is some nice erhu music from someone else. Something redeeming in this godforsaken post:

youtube

#the adventures of panda warrior #the adventures of jinbao #kung fu panda ko #2012 #movie review #free on YouTube

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stupid-sloot-headcanons · 30 days

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The genuine confidence of Tai Lung on the bridge was damn hot I have to say. I'm not a furry, but human!Tai Lung can hit it

He probably has no idea how to interact with someone in a way that's not related to martial arts. He doesn't know any way to hit it aside from literally hitting something lol

If he found someone cute for the first time he'd be legit confused and probably train the weird feelings away to make those feelings "useful"

Hrrrrrrrr imagine humanoid Tai Lung with leopard ears and a tail that always sways a little when he sees Darling

A Darling who somehow manages to catch him by surprise because he keeps unconsciously letting his guard down when he's around them, so he reacts instinctively by pinning them in a hold before realizing they're not an opponent. Once he does he lets them down and snaps at them for interrupting whatever he was doing

Hating meditation even more than he used to as a child because Darling's face keeps popping into his head. So he decides to use them to help his training instead, just to make those feelings useful and not a total distraction. Like he'll legit lift them as a warm up exercise or make them hold up targets for him to practice precision strikes with.

Him getting sick and Darling taking care of him alongside other Jade Palace attendants, and while he has a fever he's forced to accept being helped in his pathetic weakling state. Darling puts a cool rag in his forehead while he starts falling asleep, and for the first time since Shifu took care of him as a baby, he starts purring and nuzzling their hand. He just thought he was dreaming so he didn't ever think much about it, but when he discovers it actually happened he avoids them for a full week

Hating the idea of them being a weakness for him, and resenting them for "making" him weak just by existing. But also not wanting to get rid of them either...Arrrgh, how is he so strong and powerful when a weakling like Darling can cloud his mind like this?

So he decides to once again make his feelings for them useful by using them as motivation. He'll become the Dragon Warrior, and in addition to achieving his destiny as the strongest warrior in the world and receiving ultimate power, he'll have earned them as well.

Also Shifu can see how his ears perk up, how his tail sways a little sometimes, and how his pupils widen a little whenever That One Palace Attendant is with him. I think he'd initially discourage Tai Lung from doing anything that would distract him from his rightful destiny, but Oogway would probably tell him that loving someone is not a distraction or weakness. Compared to that, only a fool would consider the Dragon Scroll more important.

...still, our guy Oogway would also see how the darkness in Tai Lung might hurt those he cares about. Maybe he'd try to encourage Tai Lung being around Darling to a) dissuade him from working so hard to become the Dragon Warrior, since he never can be and b) bring a little bit of light to diminish the darkness in his heart. Love isn't a form of kung fu, but it IS a powerful force of nature, after all.

#.sillyshit #thots #.kfp #.tai lung #fuck my life im down bad for the imaginary gijinka in my head of a kung fu panda villain #.myshit

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hamsterclaw · 1 year

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Dragonfire

Lord Namjoon commands the dragon riders of Mount Halji, he's authoritative and respected, a fearless warrior, celebrated for his prowess on the battlefield. So why aren't you afraid of him, damnit?

Pairing: Namjoon x F! reader

Genre: Fantasy AU, smut, a spin-off from the Royal Pain AU

Rating: 18+

Word count: 7.3k

Warnings: Sex, Namjoon mounting everything in sight

Namjoon’s watching from across the room as she greets guests at the banquet. She’s striking, not only because she’s beautiful, with her dark hair and lovely eyes, but also because of her bearing. There’s pride in the way she holds up her head.

When it’s his turn to greet her, he bows, low, and kisses the hand she offers to him.

‘Good evening, your highness,’ he says.

He can feel her eyes on him, his black armour, the mark on his hand signifying his status as a dragon rider.

‘Lord Namjoon,’ she murmurs. The way her tongue flicks over her full bottom lip, the spark in her eyes, makes his blood warm.

Then she’s letting go of his hand, stepping away gracefully to greet the next person, and Namjoon’s left with the faintest scent of lavender, tantalising and sweet.

When she reaches the end of the line, she looks straight at him, like she’d known he’d be watching.

She inclines her head just slightly, but it’s enough.

Blood hot, lust thrumming through his veins, Namjoon follows her out of the banquet hall.

***

Namjoon’s tired from his night with the beautiful and lusty princess of Ijil, and it takes him longer than it should to realise that his armour is missing.

Even worse, his sword is gone.

He storms out of his chambers, looking for Jimin and Taehyung. He’s heading for the stables when he sees you.

His first impression is of softness, which is ironic given you’re staggering under the weight of his armour. His sword swings from your hip, he doesn’t even know how you managed to attach it you.

‘Stop,’ he commands.

You glance around, looking for where his voice came from.

Namjoon doesn’t know how you could possibly miss him. He’s always been tall, and of recent years, his build has filled out, a byproduct of wrangling Styx, his bonded dragon.

He still feels a thrill of pride when he thinks about her. Styx, with her midnight black scales, her wingspan wider than any others in her clan. She’s a magnificent beast, fiercely loyal, with the instincts of the finest warrior in battle.

He snaps out of his reverie when he realises you’re limping away, dragging his armour with you.

‘Stop!’ he commands again.

He catches up to you easily. ‘Where are you taking my armour and my sword?’ he demands.

‘Didn’t Jimin tell you? I’m your new squire,’ you tell him, like it’s a done deal.

Namjoon’s flabbergasted.

‘I’m a dragon rider, not one of those fanciful royal knights,’ he scowls. ‘I have no need for a squire.’

‘The dullness of your armour tells a different story,’ you have the audacity to say.

‘It’s black!’ protests Namjoon, not sure why he’s arguing with you but unable to stop himself.

‘You’re a disgrace to Styx,’ you mutter.

Namjoon realises he’s walked with you all the way to the stables.

Cursing, he lifts his armour off you, and you sigh, relieved.

‘It’s very heavy,’ you remark. ‘No wonder you’re so muscular.’

Namjoon stares at his sword, hung carelessly around your shoulder.

‘How are you supposed to be my squire if you can’t lift my armour and sword?’ he mutters, more to himself.

You’re already gesturing to a small area you have set up with a scrubbing brush and a bucket, a polishing cloth and a tin of oil.

‘Leave it with me,’ you say airily.

You frown at his sword. ‘Sweet mother of Jaesu, how old is this blood? It’s caked on.’

Namjoon scowls. ‘I’ll be back in an hour to collect it for a sparring session.’

You wave an arm at him, muttering something that sounds awfully like ‘Lord Jimin’s armour is pristine.’

Namjoon decides to pretend he hasn’t heard you.

***

When Namjoon returns, Taehyung’s leaning against the wall, chatting to you.

‘Did you know about our new squire?’ Namjoon asks.

‘I’m right here,’ you announce, bright, chirpy.

Namjoon ignores you.

‘She’s very good at mending clothes as well,’ Taehyung replies, smiling at you.

Namjoon’s forced to turn to you when you push his armour into his arms.

‘I only do mending for selected people,’ you say, haughty, like he’d shown any inclination to ask.

He’s about to snap a retort when the Princess of Ijil arrives.

Namjoon bows deeply.

You drop into a surprisingly graceful curtsy.

She eyes you.

Namjoon’s already stepping in front of you when you say, ‘I’m the squire to the dragon riders of Mount Halji, your highness.’

‘Charmed, I’m sure,’ she says, dismissive.

She turns back to Namjoon.

‘Do you have time for a quick catch up in my chambers before you set off back home?’

‘Of course,’ Namjoon replies, admiring the way her skin glows in the late morning sun.

She flicks her gaze over his shoulders, gaze meaningful.

‘I can help you mend that rip in the seam of your tunic,’ you say, helpfully, calling everyone’s attention to it.

Namjoon narrows his eyes at you, then turns back to the princess.

She’s already walking away.

***

‘Oof,’ you remark, holding up Namjoon’s tunic. ‘What’s this stain?’

Namjoon’s gaze flies to you.

‘Just kidding,’ you say, chuckling gleefully.

‘Are you ever quiet?’ Namjoon asks, exasperated. ‘Being a squire is a serious task.’

‘She’s a very good squire,’ Jimin says, emerging from the stables with their horses in tow.

‘Thanks, my lord,’ you say cheerfully.

‘You don’t call me my lord,’ Namjoon observes, tetchy.

‘I’ll call you it, if you can tell me my name,’ you say, smiling at him.

Namjoon realises he doesn’t know your name.

‘You didn’t tell me your name,’ he complains.

‘You didn’t ask,’ you shoot back, merrily.

‘Is everything a joke to you?’ snaps Namjoon.

‘Ignore our grumpy commander,’ Jimin says, giving Namjoon a quelling look. ‘He gets cranky when he’s tired.’

Jimin hands you the reins to your horse. ‘Need anything before we set off?’ he asks, offering you his knee to help you mount.

You shake your head, seating yourself. ‘Thank you,’ you tell him.

Namjoon mounts his steed and sets off, nudging his stallion into a brisk canter.

He doesn’t look back to check on you.

***

The first hint of trouble is a rustling in the trees overhead.

Then, firebolts rain down.

Namjoon’s about to urge his steed into a gallop when your horse, spooked and less battle-worn than all the others, rears up.

You land in an ungraceful heap on the forest floor and immediately get up, dazed.

A firebolt grazes your foot, and you lift an arm up over your head in an attempt to protect yourself.

Taehyung and Jimin are up ahead, turning back to help, but Namjoon’s the closest to you.

‘Get your horses away!’ shouts Namjoon. ‘It’s fire demons!’

He turns his steed, Thunder, and speeds towards you.

You watch him approach with wide eyes.

Namjoon reaches down and plucks you off the ground.

You land, hard, on the front of his saddle, face planted in the breastplate of his armour.

‘Hold on,’ grunts Namjoon. He leads Thunder towards a clearing he noticed earlier, to another route that will take you both to the edge of the forest, away from the fire demons.

For once, you appear to have no snappy remark at the ready.

You wind your arms around his waist, holding on tight, and Namjoon’s stomach flips unexpectedly when you press your face into his chest.

He leans forward on Thunder, urging him on, you soft and pliant between his thighs, and gets you both the hell out of there.

***

It’s late afternoon, the sun filtering through the trees, and you’ve yet to catch up to Taehyung and Jimin.

Namjoon stops by a brook to allow Thunder to drink and dismounts.

He lifts his arms to help you down.

You place your hands on his shoulders trustingly, and Namjoon’s stomach does another curious flip.

He wonders if he drank too much arabica before leaving Ijil.

You stay for a moment like that, pressed against him, arms up, face tilted to his.

‘Thanks for saving me,’ you say.

‘You’re one of mine,’ Namjoon says. He doesn’t think he’s saying anything but the truth, but you look pleased about it just the same.

He looks around. ‘It’ll be dark soon. We should set up camp around here.’

***

Namjoon lets out a sigh.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asks, barely concealed impatience in his voice.

‘It’s cold,’ you complain, even though he can barely see you under the mound of blankets you’ve stolen, including his own.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. ‘Live with it,’ he says, unsympathetic.

‘They say body heat is good,’ you suggest.

Namjoon scoffs. ‘Is that an attempt to get into bed with me?’

You’re quiet, he almost thinks you’ve fallen asleep when you say, ‘we’re not technically in beds.’

Namjoon thinks it’s dark enough that he doesn’t have to hide his smile.

‘Come here then,’ he says, gruffly.

‘No thanks,’ you say rudely.

Namjoon reaches over and yanks you into his arms, blankets and all.

‘Just shut up and sleep,’ he advises, when you open your mouth.

Your mouth closes and you nod.

You’re asleep in seconds.

***

When he wakes, too hot, you’re already up. For some reason you’ve wrapped him in blankets, even though he runs hot all the time, a byproduct of his bond with Styx.

Namjoon fights his way out of the blankets and rises, stretching and yawning, rolling the stiffness out of his muscles.

Footsteps make him straighten up and turn around.

You’re bright and freshfaced, holding out a mug to him.

‘Made you arabica,’ you chirrup.

‘Thanks,’ he grunts, accepting.

Your eyes fall to his bare forearm.

‘You’re burned!’ you say, sounding genuinely worried.

‘It’s nothing,’ Namjoon says, amused by your concern over the tiny burn. You should see the scar on his side from the last dragon battle.

You’re rustling through the leather bag you carry near your hip.

‘Let me put some salve on it,’ you say.

Namjoon sits and drinks his arabica whilst you fuss over his arm.

‘You’re aware I’m a dragon rider,’ he can’t resist teasing you, but he lets you rub salve into his arm anyway.

He can’t deny it feels soothing.

He realises you’re looking at the dragon rider mark on his hand.

‘Pretty,’ you say. Your thumb rubs over it, a quick smooth swipe, and then your hands leave his skin.

Namjoon doesn’t think anyone’s ever called him pretty before.

Big, yes. Tall, certainly. Ruthless.

Not pretty.

To hide his discomfiture, he stands. ‘We should get going,’ he says, brisk.

You’re already heading to Thunder.

You stop in front of his enormous steed and look to him for a leg up, as though you’re expecting him to kneel before you like Jimin did.

Namjoon mounts Thunder, then holds out his arms for you.

You reach up, trusting like you were yesterday, and Namjoon’s stomach flips again.

It’s definitely the arabica, he tells himself as Thunder falls into an easy canter.

***

Namjoon says, grumpily, ‘stop wriggling.’

‘It’s just, the hilt of your sword keeps poking me,’ you complain, wriggling more, another smooth movement that makes him grit his teeth.

You look back at him just in time to catch him clenching his jaw.

‘It’s not my sword,’ Namjoon growls.

Your hand on his thigh makes his muscles jump.

‘Something in your breeches —-‘ you trail off abruptly.

‘It’s just the friction,’ Namjoon says, as your whole body stiffens between his legs, against his chest.

You don’t say a word.

‘You’re my squire. I don’t think of you lustfully,’ Namjoon continues.

You’re still silent, ramrod straight against him.

‘I prefer women who are —-‘

‘Beautiful and curvaceous,’ you fill in for him, describing the princess of Ijil.

‘Less annoying,’ finishes Namjoon.

You suggest, ‘I can ride behind you, if my ass is too tempting.’

Namjoon snorts a laugh. ‘And press those pretty breasts into my back?’

You look down at your chest thoughtfully.

Then you quip, barely stifling your laughter, ‘want me to polish your sword, my lord?’

‘Silence, wench,’ growls Namjoon.

Your laughter is equal parts infuriating and infectious.

***

You both catch up to Taehyung and Jimin at the gates guarding the dragon rider enclave on Mount Halji.

Namjoon takes a moment to savour the familiarity of it. He was born to be a dragon rider, the latest progeny of a long line of Eosulian warriors.

He was fourteen when he bonded with Styx, a lanky, graceless teenager with no idea what the hell he was doing. There was more than one surprised reaction at the unlikely combination of the studious teenaged Namjoon and the most fearsome dragon in the clan.

It’s been a while since anyone’s looked at him and Styx with any incredulity.

These days, Namjoon leans into his powerful build, his broad shoulders and chest, the lean muscles of his thighs.

Underneath he’s never stopped studying, learning, trying to better himself.

You nudge his chest with your shoulder, and he realises you’re talking.

He’s quite pleased with how he’s managed to tune you out.

You’re much more easy to tolerate when you’re on mute.

Namjoon allows himself a moment to admire your piquant little face.

He’s almost smiling when your voice manages to break through.

‘Plain?’ you ask.

Namjoon frowns, and obligingly, you repeat yourself. ‘Heading to the plain?’

He nods. He’d automatically guided Thunder in the direction of the plain, where he knows Styx will be waiting for him.

Namjoon stops and dismounts, instinctively reaching up to help you down.

It’s funny how he’s got used to doing that so quickly.

He faces North, and within moments, there’s a change in the air.

Styx lands noiselessly before him, sleek and so beautiful his skin thrums at her proximity.

Namjoon bows, and her massive head dips low to the ground in response. In two steps he’s mounted her, feeling at home in the way he never did in the vast Royal Palace of Ijil.

Something makes him look towards you.

You’re watching him and Styx, unmoving, hands clasped.

Namjoon doesn’t realise what he’s going to say until the words leave his mouth. He’s never invited anyone else to ride with him on one of these journeys before.

‘We’re reacquainting for the bond,’ he tells you. ‘You can come, if you want.’

He can sense Styx’s assent, but she lowers her head again, as if to show you, too.

You approach tentatively.

Namjoon holds out his arms to pick you up, and you say, ‘wait. Would you prefer tits or ass?’

Namjoon, to his surprise, can sense Styx’s mirth.

‘Just get on, and be quiet,’ he grumbles. He lifts you in front of him, locks his thighs around yours and pulls you tight against his chest, and then you’re off, gliding through the mountains of South Eosul.

***

Namjoon looks up as you enter the courtyard where he and the other dragon riders are combat training.

You march past everyone and head straight for him.

‘I need your muscles,’ you announce, without context.

Namjoon mops sweat off his brow and waits.

‘I’ll help you,’ Taehyung volunteers.

Namjoon stops him with a look.

‘What do you need help with, squire? And why is it so important that you’re interrupting our training?’

You frown. ‘The merchant down by the market is a swindler and a scoundrel,’ you tell him.

‘A swindler, and a scoundrel,’ Namjoon teases, amused by your vehemence.

You stare at him. He can almost see the smoke coming out of your ears, the way you’re vibrating with rage.

‘Fine!’ you burst out. You stomp away. ‘I will take care of him myself.’

You’re walking so fast you’re most of the way to the market before Namjoon catches up with you, even with his longer stride.

‘I’m sorry I teased you,’ he tells you.

‘I’m sorry I interrupted combat practice,’ you reply immediately.

You sigh. ‘I needed cloth for your jackets for the Harvest banquet next month. This merchant’s got the best supplies, but all the cloth he’s delivered is less than what we bargained for. Less than what I paid for.’

You’re getting worked up again, indignant. ‘How dare he try to swindle us?!’

Namjoon falls into step beside you. ‘It could be a genuine mistake,’ he says, trying to be reasonable.

You snort in disbelief.

Namjoon accompanies you to the stall, a little worried about how you’re going to approach this.

The merchant bows as you both approach.

‘Can I interest you in the new silk taffeta I’ve imported from Seldinia?’

‘No, but you can interest me in the remainder of the order I put in last week, of which only half has been delivered,’ you say, firmly.

The merchant eyes you narrowly. ‘Which order is that? I’m afraid I’ve completed all the orders from last week.’

You’re apoplectic. ‘Surely you have a ledger!’

You step around the table displaying his wares as he sighs and opens a worn ledger.

‘There!’ you say triumphantly, pointing to an entry that takes up half a page.

The merchant elbows you away from the ledger, making you step back.

Namjoon’s not sure how it happens, all he knows is one second he’s watching you and the next he’s got his forearm to the merchant’s neck, holding him up against the pillar.

The merchant’s looking at his dragon rider mark, spilling apologies.

Namjoon takes a moment, letting the rage recede.

You’re unharmed, you hadn’t even flinched when the merchant pushed you.

So why is he so goddamn incensed that that asshole had the audacity to touch you?

You can hold your own.

So why does Namjoon want to grind this man to a pulp?

He grunts, lets the man down, and he scuttles to do your bidding.

You wait until you’re both walking away, cloth tucked in a basket over your arm, before you turn to him.

‘What?’ snaps Namjoon.

You put your hand on his arm. ‘Thanks for ——‘

You pause, searching for the right phrase.

Namjoon lifts the basket off your arm.

‘Thanks for helping,’ you say carefully.

You seem to not know what to do with your arms now that he’s taken the basket, so you clasp your hands demurely in front of your chest.

‘No problem,’ Namjoon replies.

You keep sneaking glances at him as you walk, until Namjoon sighs.

‘What?’

‘You look quite dashing when you’re angry,’ you tell him.

‘Is that why you’re always vexing me?’

You nod. ‘That jaw clench you do.’

Namjoon glowers at you.

‘You’re doing it right now!’ you point out, delighted, skipping alongside him.

Namjoon says, ‘Quiet, or I’ll make you carry this,’ nodding to your basket.

‘Pfft,’ you scoff. ‘It’s nothing.’

You give him a sideways look. ‘Especially after I’ve got used to carrying your sword .’

You waggle your eyebrows meaningfully and nudge him between the ribs, like he wouldn’t get the innuendo otherwise.

Namjoon turns away so you can’t see him biting back his smile.

***

Namjoon answers the knock at his chamber door with a brisk, ‘come in.’

You take two steps into his chamber, eyes fixed on his chest.

‘My lord,’ you say, bowing. ‘You look very well indeed. That material suits you.’

Namjoon finds he’s distracted by your own appearance.

Has your body always been this lovely shape? And surely you’ve done something to your hair, too.

‘My eyes are here, my lord,’ you say, but you sound more amused than vexed.

‘You look beautiful,’ he tells you.

‘Thank you. Did you call me in here to seduce me with your sweet words and broad chest?’

Namjoon rolls his eyes.

‘I have something for you.’

You look suspiciously at the black bangle in his outstretched palm.

Namjoon says, ‘hold out your wrist.’

You hold out your hand, palm up, and Namjoon fastens the slim black band around your wrist, securing it with a tiny key.

You lift your arm, admiring the way the onyx gleams in the light as Namjoon threads the key along the silver chain he always wears around his neck.

When you speak, there’s a softness in your voice Namjoon’s only heard a handful of times.

‘What’s this for, my lord?’

‘The merchant at the marketplace,’ says Namjoon. ‘He changed his tune when he realised I was a dragon rider.’

He shrugs. ‘You don’t have a dragon rider mark, but I want people who deal with you to know that you have our protection.’

You’re standing so close to him he can feel the warmth of you, smell the fresh scent of your hair.

You look up at him, and he braces for whatever smart retort you’ve thought of.

Instead, you say, very sweetly, ‘thank you, my lord, that’s very thoughtful of you.’

Namjoon opens his mouth to speak, but you’re already speaking again.

‘Thank you for my shackle.’

Namjoon stares at you, speechless.

‘Shackle?’ he splutters, incredulous.

‘It goes round my wrist, it fastens with a key that you wear around your neck. It’s a shackle,’ you say, nodding.

Namjoon glares at you.

‘Aaaaa there’s that sexy jaw tick,’ you say, beaming at him.

Namjoon sets his jaw and ushers you out of his chamber.

‘Ooh, you look like you’re about to turn me over your lap and paddle my bottom,’ you say, chuckling merrily.

‘Maybe I will one day,’ Namjoon threatens.

‘I’ll look forward to it,’ you say, looking positively thrilled at the prospect.

Namjoon slams his door in your really rather pretty face.

****

Namjoon’s near the end of his speech to open the Harvest Banquet when the doors to the Great Hall open.

‘The Princess of Ijil,’ announces the herald.

Namjoon remains standing as she crosses the room, beautiful and resplendent in a gold gown that matches the brocade embroidery of his jacket.

She raises a hand, and Namjoon automatically leans down to kiss it.

She smiles at him, skin burnished gold in the candlelight, eyes full of promise, and Namjoon feels that familiar heat pool low in his groin.

She takes the seat next to his like she belongs there, and on any other day, Namjoon would be proud and honoured to have her by his side.

Today, though, his attention is divided by you, sitting in between Jimin and another dragon rider, Mingyu.

You’re chatting to them merrily, more than a little tipsy, judging by your bright eyes and the way you’re letting Mingyu lean against you.

Namjoon doesn’t realise he’s glowering at you until the Princess says, coyly, ‘I’ve come all this way, and you haven’t so much as complimented my gown, Lord Namjoon.’

He turns reluctantly from you. ‘How remiss of me,’ he says, politely. ‘You are very beautiful, as always, your highness, and we are privileged to have you in our midst.’

A burst of laughter and a round of applause erupts from your end of the table as Jimin leaps up, gracefully, to catch a tray of mead on the verge of tipping over.

Namjoon watches as Jimin deposits the tray safely on the banquet table and twirls you around triumphantly.

Jimin is his second in command, and has saved Namjoon’s ass more times than he can count. He’s a gifted fighter, instinctive and merciless when he has to be.

It’s also vaguely annoying that he has the face of an angel and a physique sculpted by the gods.

Namjoon tears his eyes away from you in Jimin’s arms.

He turns back to the princess.

***

Namjoon’s heading to his chamber after dinner, wondering where you are and why he cares.

If you’re with Jimin, you’re in safe hands.

Jimin likes you more than he does.

Namjoon stops in front of the looking-glass by his bed, staring at his reflection.

Does Jimin like you more than he does?

He slips his jacket off, starts unbuttoning the white silk shirt underneath.

There’s a knock on his door.

Namjoon cracks it open, an odd burst of warmth blooming in his chest when he realises it’s you.

You hiccup and reach out, curling your fingers into the open placket of his shirt.

The tips of your fingers are cold, and Namjoon realises just how much he wants to warm you up.

He’s reaching for your arm to pull you into his chamber when you both hear approaching footsteps, an entourage.

The Princess of Ijil.

Namjoon’s distracted for an instant, and when he looks back at you, you’re giving him a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

His hand closes around nothing.

The Princess of Ijil reaches his chamber door.

And you?

You’re gone.

***

Namjoon has to admit, you’re quick.

By the time he’s made his excuses to the princess and tried to follow you, there’s not a trace of where you might have gone.

It’s only when he passes the stables and hears Thunder whickering and stamping his feet that he finds you, sitting on a groomsman’s stool in a corner of Thunder’s stall.

You give Thunder an accusing look that makes Namjoon bite back his smile.

Namjoon looks at you, at the petulant way your lower lip is pushed out, the bottle of potent mead in your hand, and says, gently, ‘want to go for a ride?’

Before you can come up with whatever terrible innuendo he knows you’re capable of, he’s saddled and mounted Thunder, and is holding out his arms for you.

You give him a curious look but it doesn’t stop you from letting him lift you up into the saddle in front of him.

You settle back into his arms, between his thighs, against his chest, like you belong there.

Namjoon leans forward, urging Thunder into a gallop.

The cool night air is like a balm on his brow, and for the first time Namjoon decides to let himself enjoy how you feel in his arms.

He thinks you’re trying to say something to him, but it’s lost in the wind as the fields of Mount Halji speed past.

He’ll ask you later.

***

Namjoon beds Thunder down in the small barn and heads to the tiny farmhouse.

He finds you standing by the door where he left you, waiting for him.

He lights a lamp, holds his arm out to you.

You say, ‘wait.’

You set the mead down on the wooden table and step up to him, hand on his chest, going on tiptoe.

Namjoon stays perfectly still as you press your lips to his.

It’s sweet, chaste, and yet it makes him want to push you against a wall and take you right here.

You pull away.

‘Just wanted to check if you’re a good kisser,’ you say, breathlessly.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow at you, tilts his chin.

‘Am I?’ he asks, like he doesn’t care what you think.

‘Yeah,’ you say.

‘I’m good at a lot of things,’ he tells you.

‘Stop showing off,’ you chastise.

You squeal as he chases you into the bedroom.

***

Namjoon’s trying to take it slowly but you’re writhing under him, rubbing against him in all the places that he likes, and god, he’s so hard he can’t imagine there’s any blood going to the rest of his body.

He can’t think .

You’re kissing his neck, tongue flicking against his skin, and Namjoon groans at the pleasure of it.

‘I didn’t know you were so sensitive, here,’ you note, a purr to your voice that makes his eyes close.

You grind your hips against his, arms splayed around him.

Namjoon’s got no idea how you managed to get on top of him but Jaesu, he loves the view. He already knows he’ll never get tired of taking the weight of you.

Namjoon raises his head, trying to kiss you as you’re pulling away, and you press your hand to his lips.

‘Look at you, my big dragon rider,’ you taunt. You roll your hips against his cock, still covered in the dress pants he put on for the Banquet, pulling another grunt from him.

‘You like being under me?’ you ask.

‘I’d rather be in you,’ Namjoon tells you, honestly.

He runs a hand down his torso, cups his length. ‘Get these off and I’ll show you.’

Your eyes meet, and the heat in his gaze makes you visibly shiver.

Then you’re undoing his pants.

Namjoon lifts his hips to help you slide them down.

His cock brushes your parted lips, and quick as a cat, you open your mouth and take him in.

Namjoon’s fist clenches in the silk of your dress as you take him deeper, tongue flat against the underside of his cock.

‘You unman me,’ he utters.

You look up at him, mouth full, eyes wide, and he groans at the sight of you.

‘Do you like this?’ you ask, pulling back, lips swollen, stained with the stickiness of his seed.

Namjoon reaches down to cup your cheek. ‘I want you on top of me, love,’ he tells you.

He never knows if you’re going to do what he says, but to his relief, you wriggle up to sit on his chest.

He reaches out, undoes the ties fastening your gown carelessly, enjoying the way it falls open under his hands.

He tugs it up over your head, leaving you in a chemise so gossamer thin he can see the outlines of your pretty breasts, your hardened nipples imprinted against the fabric.

Past the length of your torso he can see between your legs, and, he realises he can feel the dampness of your arousal on his own stomach.

You’ve wetted through his shirt, and Namjoon doesn’t think he’s ever been more aroused.

Your mouth opens, and Namjoon shakes his head.

‘Look what you’ve done,’ he tsks, his voice husky, low.

You open your mouth again, and again, he shakes his head.

‘You and your smart mouth,’ he says. ‘You’re so wet you’ve ruined my shirt, and I’m so hard I hurt.’

He hisses as you roll your hips over him. ‘What are you going to do about it, my love?’

You’re moaning at him, and he laughs harshly. ‘You want my cock? Do it yourself.’

‘Or do you just like talking with that smart mouth,’ he taunts. ‘Can’t follow through?’

Your eyes flash at him, and then you’re bracing against his chest, taking him in hand, lining him up.

Your eyes flick to his, and Namjoon stares you down. ‘Shy?’ he asks, voice mocking.

‘No,’ you gasp, as you lower your hips onto his pelvis, taking him in increments.

Your hand tightens on his arm. ‘Too big,’ you murmur, breathless.

Namjoon has to take a breath when he’s in all the way. You’re wet, and warm, and he can already feel his pleasure starting to coil out from his shaft, sending tingles across his groin, making his balls tighten.

You’re moving on him, thighs flexing as you ride him. Namjoon has the loose thought that the definition in your thighs is probably from carrying his armour around for months, because he’s never seen you do any other form of exercise, then you’re leaning forward on his chest, murmuring in his ear, and his thoughts evacuate his head again.

Fuck, you’re beautiful when you come.

You cry his name, and Namjoon cups your ass, helping you move on top of him, wringing every last bit of pleasure out of you until you’re limp on top of him.

He waits, hard and throbbing inside you, until you look up at his face.

‘Did you think we were finished?’ he asks.

There’s a spark of something in your eyes at his challenge.

‘I did, actually,’ you say haughtily.

You make as if to move off of him, and as always, Namjoon’s amused and outraged by your audacity.

He grips your thigh, admiring the mark his fingers leave when he lets go.

You’re watching him carefully.

‘Should have known you’d like that,’ you remark.

‘You know,’ Namjoon says thoughtfully, pulling you underneath him, thrusting once, experimentally.

You wait for what he has to say.

‘I like you better when you’re not talking,’ he says.

Your squawk of outrage turns into a moan as he starts to move, his cock sliding in your slickened cunt.

‘Yeah,’ he says, as you moan. ‘This is better.’

He seals his lips against your own and fucks you until you’re crying out and coming on his cock.

***

Namjoon’s awakened by a pounding on the door.

He stumbles to the entrance of the tiny farmhouse and is greeted by Jimin, dressed in full battle gear, thrusting his armour at him.

‘Halians,’ Jimin says grimly. ‘They’re en route to the Hold.’ He pauses, meaningfully. ‘The Princess of Ijil is still within our Gates.’

Namjoon’s pulling on his armour, methodical. ‘The dragons?’ he asks.

‘They’re all in formation,’ Jimin says.

He looks up as you walk into the room, dressed in Namjoon’s shirt from last night.

‘Ah,’ says Jimin, unsurprised. ‘Tell me later if I need to defend your honour to your brother.’

You laugh. ‘Seokjin can’t talk,’ you say, and Jimin grins.

‘Don’t I know it,’ he agrees.

Namjoon doesn’t have time to unpick this conversation right now.

He tightens his sword and says to Jimin, ‘Let’s go.’

‘Wait,’ you say.

You step forward and pull him down into a kiss.

‘Stay safe,’ you say.

Namjoon casts a look at your pretty face, wishing he had the time to appreciate how good you look in his shirt.

You’re already stepping back.

‘Look after him, Jimin,’ you say.

Jimin nods. ‘I always do.’

The laugh you both share at his expense makes Namjoon scowl.

***

Jimin grew up with Namjoon, and he’s been analytical, an overthinker, for as long as he’s known him.

Namjoon was the friend who always used to get caught when they played dragons and wizards, the kid who was busy trying to strategise when what he needed to do was run.

He made up for it by becoming quicker, stronger than anyone else. So then he didn’t just win at games, he annihilated his opponents.

He’s fought alongside Namjoon in countless battles against the Halian army, and there’s no doubt that Namjoon’s brilliant strategising has saved their asses many a time.

It’s just that, Namjoon’s so damned serious all the time. He wears his responsibility as commander on his shoulders, bears the weight without complaint.

When he started sleeping with the Princess of Ijil, Jimin had realised he was in real danger of losing his friend to a life of power seeking and political manoeuvring.

That’s where you came in.

Jimin’s known you for years, he’s friends with Seokjin, your brother who’s currently making a name for himself in the vast plains of Daljeon.

He’s always liked your sense of humour. Like Seokjin, you cloak your inner steeliness in jovial banter. Also like Seokjin, you’ve been blessed with a face as pretty as Jimin’s own.

You’d been at a loose end when Seokjin left, and Jimin had quickly realised that your personality was the perfect foil for Namjoon’s seriousness.

He’d watched in amusement as you ran circles around Namjoon with your quick wit, and had relaxed after he’d seen the way Namjoon had consistently chosen to laugh with you rather than flatten you.

Today, though, Namjoon’s not laughing.

They’d returned from a skirmish with a Halian sub unit at the border of Eosul to find the farm cottage empty.

A search of the Hold has so far, not revealed your location.

Namjoon looks up as the doors of the Great Hall open and a messenger comes in carrying a package.

Namjoon tears it open and stops dead as pieces of onyx fall out.

He looks at Jimin, jaw set. ‘It’s hers. I gave it to her the night of the Banquet.’

Jimin’s already grasped the messenger. ‘Where is she?’ he demands.

‘It’s from General Dei of the Halian army,’ splutters the messenger. ‘That’s all I know.’

Namjoon moves so quickly the messenger’s against the flagstone wall before he finishes his sentence.

‘Tell me where she is and I’ll spare your life,’ he utters, voice low and deadly.

One move of Namjoon’s hand toward the hilt of his sword yields the information they need.

Then Namjoon’s running, heading for Styx on the plain.

***

Namjoon glances over at Jimin as they approach the caves where you’re being held.

‘I’m worried, Jimin,’ he confesses.

Jimin places his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder, drawn taut with worry.

‘She’s the only bargaining item they have, even the Halians wouldn’t be stupid enough to harm her knowing you’re on your way.’

Namjoon’s gaze is dark. ‘I’m more worried about what this is going to cost them,�� he tells Jimin. ‘I’m angry.’

His fists clench. ‘I’m really fucking angry right now.’

Jimin says, carefully, ‘This isn’t a reason to start a war.’

Namjoon laughs, short, humourless. ‘I don’t want a war,’ he agrees.

He sets his jaw as they reach the entrance. ‘I want a massacre.’

You’re against the back wall of the cave, flanked by Halian guards.

General Dei’s standing by. ‘Lord Namjoon,’ he says, inclining his head in greeting.

Namjoon, imposing in his battle armour, gives the General a look that has the guards behind him shifting nervously.

‘I know you wanted a negotiation, General,’ Namjoon says, ‘but I don’t negotiate when one of my own hangs in the balance.’

He draws his sword. ‘Release my squire.’

***

In the clamour of battle, Namjoon has a direct line of sight to you, and sees the moment you flatten yourself against the wall to avoid a wayward strike.

He’s by your side in moments, cutting you loose, pushing you behind him.

‘It took you a while,’ you point out. He can’t see your face but he can hear the smile in your voice.

‘I’m sorry I left you,’ he says, tucking you under his arm, cutting down two Halian guards in a swift movement.

He heads for the entrance of the cave, where Styx is waiting to dispense with any Halian guards who manage to get past Taehyung and Mingyu.

Jimin emerges a moment later, sheathing his sword, breathing hard from exertion.

He draws you into his arms, raises an eyebrow when Namjoon doesn’t let go of his hold on you.

‘I’m taking her back to the Hold,’ Namjoon says.

Jimin murmurs, ‘and the rest?’

Namjoon helps you onto Styx, jaw tightening as he takes in the rope marks around your wrists and ankles.

He can find no mercy in his heart for anyone who’s tried to hurt you.

Honestly, he can’t even trouble himself to look.

He turns to Jimin.

‘Let them burn.’

***

You awaken so quietly Namjoon’s got no idea how long you’ve been watching him sit by the window.

You clear your throat.

‘You’re beautiful,’ you say, the words heartfelt.

Namjoon looks at you, at your skin coloured in the hues of the rising sun, at the sincerity shining in your eyes, and thinks that you’re the beautiful one.

He comes to sit on the bed next to you.

You clamber into his lap, face close to his, legs either side of his waist.

‘Thank you for coming to get me,’ you say.

‘I’m sorry I let you get taken in the first place,’ he replies. ‘Did you get hurt, my love?’

He’s looking at the mark on your wrist, where your bangle was.

You catch the direction of his gaze.

‘It didn’t hurt apart from that I didn’t have anything to show I belonged to you,’ you tell him.

Namjoon lifts your wrist to his lips, kisses over the bruise marking your skin.

‘I can take care of that,’ he says.

He moves his mouth further up your arm, sucks your warm skin, laves the new mark he’s left with his tongue.

You’re breathing faster now, watching him intently.

Namjoon tugs the shirt he put on you apart, presses his lips to the warm curve of your left breast, and sucks.

You make a pretty sound, and he does it again, suctions his lips over your softness, admires the lurid colour of the mark he’s made.

You’re shifting your hips slightly, moving over his thigh.

Namjoon flexes his thigh between your legs, and you whimper.

He dips his head again, this time to your other breast, coaxing your nipple out from under his shirt. He licks over your nipple, and to his pleasure, you let out another pretty moan.

You’re still moving your hips over his thigh, more boldly now, grinding harder with each pass.

Namjoon keeps up a steady pace laving your nipples with his tongue. He takes your breast into his mouth, lifts a hand to tweak your other nipple, and you gasp.

He can feel your wetness on his thigh.

His free hand lands on your thigh.

‘Ride me,’ he utters.

‘Namjoon,’ you gasp.

Namjoon can tell by the raggedness of your breathing that you’re close to your release.

He flexes his thigh again, helps you drag your hips along, laps at your nipples, and with a cry of his name you come.

Namjoon pulls you onto the bed, slides his hand onto your bare hip under his shirt and admires the view.

Your breasts look so pretty covered in the marks his lips have made, nipples taut and slick with his saliva.

There’s wet between your thighs, your cunt glistens with your release, and Namjoon’s never seen anything prettier.

His cock, already hard and aching, swells even more as you pull him down to you.

‘I want you, Namjoon,’ you plead.

‘You have me,’ he replies.

He settles himself between your spread legs and pushes into you.

Your back arches as he slides in, slow, giving you time to adjust.

He can feel your hands on his back, one near his shoulder blade, one low on his hips, urging him on, and Namjoon doesn’t want to hold back anymore.

He sheathes the rest of his manhood within you with another push of his hips, groaning at the pleasure of it.

He can feel the walls of your cunt fluttering around his hardness, the rush of slickness from you coating him.

You’re so wet, so warm Namjoon finds himself without words.

He starts to move, and you cry his name so loudly he stops, worried he’s hurt you.

‘Don’t stop,’ you reassure him, teeth on his earlobe. ‘Jaesu, don’t stop.’

Namjoon drags his cock from you and enters you again and again, going deep with every thrust, hard the way you seem to like.

He rolls his thumb over the swollen bud between your legs, and you buck your hips against his, chasing your pleasure.

You’re tightening deliciously around him now, clamping down on him like a vice, and Namjoon’s close himself, leaking into you with every thrust.

He strokes between your legs, dips his head to lap at your nipple, and then you’re coming again, gasping his name.

Your pleasure drags him over his own edge, Namjoon manages another thrust before he’s coming, spilling his seed into you with an intensity that robs him of his breath.

You’re pulling him down onto you now, arms around him. Namjoon has just enough awareness to move slightly so you’re not taking his full weight as he collapses onto the bed, tangled up with you.

***

When he stirs, you’re up already, but thankfully not any more dressed than you were.

You’re looking at him in the looking glass by his bed.

‘I like these marks you made on me,’ you announce, nonchalant.

‘I’ll make more,’ Namjoon says.

He rises from the bed, drops to his knee before you.

‘On my legs?’ you ask, looking down at him quizzically.

‘If you want.’

Namjoon reaches for your hand, looks up at your face seriously.

‘I vow fealty to you, in this kingdom and beyond,’ he promises you. ‘I will protect you to my last breath.’

‘Well,’ you drawl, with the familiar quirk to your lips he’s grown to love, ‘we’d better make sure you live a very long life then.’

#namjoon smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon fanfic #bts smut

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markantonys · 7 months

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My Mom Reacts To: wheel of time season 2 episodes 5-8 (episodes 1-4) (season 1)

the episode 1-4 post did not contain book spoilers, but this one does, so beware!

first, some dinnertable questions that arose in the past few days:

mom: 3000 years ago, when the first dragon was around, was ishamael--wait. was ishamael the dragon? me: no mom: but he was around back then? me: yes, he was the first dragon's best friend, but then he betrayed him mom: just like how liandrin is betraying everyone

(also, she keeps trying to call him "ishmael" like the moby dick character)

mom: at the end of 14 books, does good triumph over evil? me: i'm not gonna tell you that mom: well this show won't go for 14 seasons, or if it does, i'll be in a dementia ward by then

mom: how long is someone the amyrlin? me: for life, unless they get removed mom: is it an elected position or would they have like a coup? me: [sweating] it's an elected position

she wanted to know where everything was, so i pulled out the handy randland map mug she gave me for christmas to show her! haha

she also asked if we see more of the other colors (ajahs) in the books, and i said if anything we see less because liandrin and alanna have much less screentime in the books, and she was very surprised to hear that

dad: [setting up a dad joke voice] what's it called when lan dies? me: what? dad: lan's end

(okay that might be an americans-only joke lmao there's a big clothing chain called lands' end, not sure how widespread it is. but it cracked ME up, at least!)

mom: does lan die?!?!?!? me: you read his wikipedia article like 2 months ago mom: well i don't remember any of it, that was a long time ago!

she also assumed that no one who is together now (lanaeve + randgwene) will end up together. i'd straight up told her a while ago that rand and egwene don't end up together but she wasn't totally sure of that now, so i think it's actually okay if i tell her spoilers because she'll forget them immediately djkfjgh

episode 5

"she should be glad to get those ridiculous nails cut"

she was horrified by the horse slaughter!

my dad laughed at the guy getting his head exploded, maybe it's not just rand maybe he just likes to see Anyone have a bad time

elyas: your friends from the two rivers aren't your pack mom: ohhhh 😔😠 elyas: neither was your wife mom: [GASP]

she loves hopper so much and i'm not ready for her to see ep8!!

brown sister trio introduced, we pause as i am tasked with writing down every ajah and what they do lmao

my mom repeatedly asked if suroth was a forsaken. probably because she has The Audacity to talk to an actual forsaken Like That!

not much reaction to aviendha at all this episode! i think my mom was a bit overwhelmed by all the new info being learned in this episode, so she was more concerned with trying to figure out who the aiel and the seanchan are than with paying attention to aviendha specifically (partially my fault bc i first explained the aiel as "those warrior people" and she thought i meant the seanchan lmao). she mourned that we hadn't started our character/terminology list on a bigger piece of paper!

i had to fight to keep it together rather than shout with joy during the gawyn namedrop djkjfgh

mom: did the red one free nynaeve so they could try to escape?? me: yes mom: she is just too complicated for me

in this same vein, my dad later referred to liandrin as a "double double agent"

moiraine: [big sigh] dad: she's always a drama queen

he's not wrong jkdjfg

ishy tenderly stroking rand's face also got no reaction, much to my surprise haha i meanwhile was silently losing it

when the seanchan were bringing out egwene and saying how powerful she is, my dad was like "but she's the wrong one, it's the other one who's powerful" oh my god let poor egwene LIVE djkfg even he is pulling a "did you hear that nynaeve is the most powerful channeler we've seen in 1000 years" on her!

my mom cracked up at moiraine saying "it's your choice rand, i mean it this time" and was like "yeah i was gonna say, is she ACTUALLY going to let him choose here?"

episode 6

my mom literally THE SECOND renna's bracelet linked with the a'dam: "so she can channel too? i thought these people punished everyone who can channel" not her INSTANTLY clocking The Sul'dam Secret when in-world it apparently took hundreds of years for anyone to notice hahaha this certainly lends weight to the "this information Is Known but routinely suppressed, as fascist governments are wont to do" interpretation over the "literally not a single person had any idea until the wondergirls" interpretation

lanfear: why do you think you can't trust me? mom: because you have a silly hat

911 lanfear's just been murdered. i guess some people (straight women) ARE immune to her dominatrix outfit djkfg

my mom also voiced her displeasure with rand's haircut again in this scene. my mom 🤝 me 🤝 mat

BOTH my parents thought lanfear's condition was going to be that rand had to kill moiraine himself! the second he opened his eyes they both said it! they're already thinking so dark!

on that note, i'd predicted my mom would be annoyed at moiraine for refusing barthanes's sandwiches, but that was not the case: instead, she and my dad both went "oh i bet the sandwiches are poisoned" they're so suspicious of everything now! and rightfully so

"i can hear you bickering from the fruit market" got a good laugh

my mom also gave a hearty, appreciative chuckle at mat shitting on rand's hair. he spoke for all of us!

mat: i'll meet you in an hour mom: they don't have watches, how will they know when it's been an hour?

mom when moiraine apologizes to barthanes: why is she being nice? me: because she feels bad mom, as if it never occurred to her moiraine might have a conscience: oh..............

mom when siuan arrives in cairhien: now someone can tell her about liandrin! me: but no one here knows that mom: UGH!!!

haha welcome to wheel of time! the necessary information is always stuck in the wrong plotlines and unable to be passed along to the relevant people!

elayne to nynaeve: if we help ryma, we can't help egwene mom: oh this poor woman, now she's faced with another hard choice just like in the arches! me: [sits there stunned because i never made that connection]

episode 7

my mom loved lan telling rand to tuck in his shirt, naturally

lan: heron dips over the wing [or whatever the name was] mom: what? me: it's a sword form, they all have weird names mom: oh, that would explain why it didn't make any sense

lan: your duty is to protect everyone in the world, not just the ones you love mom: that's a big responsibility :(

she laughed and said "she doesn't like not being the boss!" at nynaeve's face when elayne told her to do what she said

she is SO PRESSED about other characters needing to find out about liandrin. she was so excited when anvaere eavesdropped and then so mad when moiraine left before anvaere could tell her the news (but i reassured her by saying that moiraine is about to go to the same place as nynaeve & co who will be able to tell her)

moiraine: [is Mean to lan] mom: TUH! dad: he should just slay her

mom: so what does this tea do? me: allegedly it will show mat his past lives mom: but it might be a trick me: ishamael DOES call himself "father of lies"

my dad was like "that was cool!" after mat's bad trip, which is among his biggest reactions to anything, other than "[chuckles] that was a good one!" when egwene said "renna i will kill you"

ishy: i just want to close my eyes and never have to open them again mom: so kill yourself then 🙄

911 ishamael's also been found murdered. i think she could put the forsaken in line honestly, "you have a silly hat" "kill yourself" she's just not having any of their shit. i hate to compare her to cadsuane, but it's kinda giving cadsuane.

lanfear's dominatrix outfit did get more appreciation this time though when the silly hat was not present ("they had fun with her costumes")

rand: i need your help lanfear mom: ??????? doesn't he know she's evil???????

"she could at least say something nice to lan 🙄" when moiraine fails to say something nice to lan after getting unshielded thanks to him

lanfear: [broken amyrlin line] mom: is she broken??? me: i think she just meant metaphorically, not physically mom: oh. but their love is broken :(

episode 8

my dad actually put his laptop away to watch this episode with his full attention. this is high praise! he never does that!

mom: who's that? [dain] me: the whitecloak perrin spared when he escaped with aviendha mom: i don't remember that me: we watched that YESTERDAY mom: 🤷

she did remember after another moment though haha but that supports my impression that ep5 was A Bit Too Much New Info for her to take in all at once

lanfear: rand i'm the only one who truly cares about you mom: i don't think THAT'S true!

when perrin tells hopper to stay there: "he's just going to leave his dog out in the desert with no water???"

mom when lanfear calls ishy sweetheart and strokes his hair: wait was he the one she was in love with????? me: no it was rand's past life, that's why she's obsessed with rand mom: rand's past WIFE???? me: LIFE

babe wake up new polycule just dropped (lanfear/ishy/lews/ilyena)

she GASPED when renna cut off egwene's braid! as she should!

she said "too bad min isn't here" during the episode (she thought it would be helpful if min could tell mat what would happen if he were to touch the dagger; i was like "i think he knows it would be bad mom" lmao) and after the episode she anxiously asked if we would ever see min again, dammit mom don't you dare become a min stan on me jdkfgh (although, the fact that she thought we might not see her again indicates it's 0% on her radar that min might be anyone's love interest, which is interesting! a number of show-onlys were at least expecting her to be mat's i think)

nynaeve: i'll make you regret the first kiss your mother ever gave your father mom: [delighted] that's a creative one! dad: there are a lot of nasty women on this show and only one nasty man [ishy] me and mom: TUH!

although he is not wrong to say that s2 was the season of Female Villains and Women Being Mean (and i loved every moment of it!). don't you worry dad, rand's gonna be stepping up to fill the Nasty Man Quota soon enough. and i can't wait!

dad when rand is watching egwene from a distance: he's not doing a good job of hiding me: at least his cloak is the same color as the wall dad: well his dumb face isn't

why is he SUCH a hater when it comes to poor rand jkdjfg please, that's your future son-in-law!

they both were repeatedly pressed about everyone carrying the horn box (or rather "the briefcase" as my dad called it) out in the open

mom: they need to just put it in a sack! me: they don't have any sacks on hand! mom: there's plenty of sacks lying around!!!

she keeps thinking that rand got the heron-marked sword from his mom, and when she saw that turak had one she was like "but i thought those were the swords of the aiel?" and i cracked up imagining how offended aiel would be to hear her say that

she missed rand killing all the seanchan because she was too busy asking me the above question, but when she looked back at the screen she went 1) "oh, this is so gory" 2) "did RAND do all that????"

she was sad about ingtar, she was like "ohhhh, i liked him :(" imagine caring about ingtar, could not be me jdkfg

me: so lanfear is talking about the seals of the other forsaken, she wants this guy to throw them all in the ocean because she doesn't want them to be released mom: why doesn't she just do it herself? me: me: me: i don't know, actually..................

(maybe she just wanted them gone stat but didn't want to leave falme for even a moment while shit was going down with rand and ishy? or maybe she was like, I'm Too Hot And Iconic To Get My Hands Dirty Doing Things Myself)

mom as soon as renna's shown to be alive, after egwene's picked up the collar: she should go put the collar on her!

she been knew again!

mom at the mat-perrin reunion: put the spear down before you hug him, you'll stab someone by accident!!!!

she was glad to see egwene get her vengeance, but added "but now i bet she'll feel guilty for killing someone because she's a good person :("

ishy: [talking about what rand did in his past life] mom: rand doesn't even remember that! rand right on cue: i'm not lews therin!

i warned her "you might not want to look" just before hopper's death, but she did look, and she was very sad. as was i!

she thought that one of the heroes of the horn was stepin and i told her it wasn't (it was just some random guy with similar hair) but maybe i should've let her keep on believing it because it's a nice idea!

mom when the spear goes through ishy and hits rand: OH NO!!!! just like min said!!! me: [vibrating with glee over The Great Cauthor Stabbening]

when ishy said "i'm sorry old friend" to rand here my dad said "that sounds familiar" and i was like what's he talking about? but then realized that's what LTT said to ishy in the cold open!!! my heart!!! thank you dad for catching that parallel, i gotta go make a gifset now

"how is one guy holding off all these soldiers by himself?" mom i cannot believe you of all people would doubt lan!

she laughed at rand being like "[half-dead] who are you???" but made no comment on the subsequent romantic shot of elayne. however, after the episode she was like "'who are you?' rand said................is something going to happen with him and elayne??" and i was like 🤷😁😁😁😁 and then she said "but they both have red hair, are they from the same place?" and i told her that elayne is not aiel and not ALL redheads are aiel lmao and maybe i should've just said "you'll see" but. i don't think it's a spoiler to confirm that elayne is not aiel.

she does not believe that ishy is really dead, and she kept asking me if he was really dead and if he shows up again later in the books and i swear, the three oaths possessed me in that moment and made me incapable of saying "yes he's really dead, no we don't see him again in the books". so i just kept shrugging which probably made it obvious that indeed, this is not the last we see of him haha

mom when moiraine starts weaving fire in the direction of the tower: what's she doing?! everyone's up on that tower!!! me: she's not trying to BLOW UP RAND mom: oh

at some point during all the battles she was like "now what's lanfear up to during all this? 🤨" a good thought to have always!

at the end of the episode: "now we have to wait a whole year or two for the next season!!!!!" she's hooked!!

favorite character roundup: my mom said lan is #1 and egwene is #2, and she also loves loial, and she said that she didn't care for perrin last season but likes him a lot now. my dad said his favorites are "the tree guy" (loial) and "the new woman at the end who's more powerful than anyone we've seen so far" (moghedien! that one was a surprise to me. tumblr 🤝 my dad. i hope he'll enjoy The Season Of Moghedien next season! tho it could also be that he just said her because she was the last character we saw and he'd already forgotten all the other ones lmao)

#wot #wot on prime #the wheel of time #wot show spoilers #wot book spoilers

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