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vitaminseetarot · 9 months

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Full Blue Supermoon PAC Pick a Flower: How Are You Blooming? 🧡🌸🌹💜

Hello folks and welcome back to the next chapter of my moon series, all about growing your intention over the month! I had some crazy weather and managed to get both moonrain and moonwater. The moon was SO BRIGHT outside I even attempted (poorly) to read a book underneath it. If there's collective advice I can give for all four piles, it's to get some extra sleep lol especially when full moons this bright can disrupt our schedules.

As a ritual option, if you do gather moonwater, you can consecrate it to your intent via drinking or bathing. Imagine that you're watering that which is now ready to come into full bloom. The water energy will be particularly potent since it's in the tropical sign of Pisces. It's an energy that can receive powerful insights from dreams and visions so long as one's channels are properly cleansed and cleared. If you're an artist this is a great full moon for finding a good creative idea to work with throughout the rest of the year.

Pick one of the three flowers below to find out how your seed is now flowering to its full potential during this Superbloom! Pictures provided from flowers growing in my own house and yard. Divider from @animatedglittergraphics-n-more.

1, Orange Daylily - 2, Mauve Musk Mallow

3, Scarlet Bee Balm - 4, African Violet

Pile 1: Orange Daylily

Five of Swords, Eight of Pentacles, Two of Cups, IX Hermit, King of Cups New Moon Eclipse - Expect Powerful Change, Virgo Moon - Trust, Everlasting Daisy - Fortitude

This tarot deck, I swear! Almost every time I use it, this frightening five of swords pops out. I used to gasp, but now I'm like "really, again?" Maybe that's a metaphor for your reading, pile 1. Big changes are on the horizon and you're shocked and overwhelmed and don't know what you're doing--relax, it's all going to be fine.

You are blooming through persistence. No matter what silly, inane situation or conflict you find yourself in, you have shown that it pays to stick to your vision and keep pushing through no matter what. It's become like a personal compass for you, leading you where you need to go when things on the outside become too confusing to mess with. You know scenes in shows where a bunch of people are fighting over something like a coveted treasure, then you see that one person in the background is quietly making their getaway with the treasure. If the others fighting could stop and think for a second, they'd realize that you're already several steps ahead of them.

I felt the Hermit card long before I even pulled it, so the general advice here is as simple as: keep doing what you're doing! You may not see where you want to be right now but you're success will be guaranteed once you've made it. You're being asked to trust in the process for now. If you need to hide yourself away in order to focus, then keep doing it. You need to be mindful with how you spend your energy, and petty quarrels are the biggest energy drains. Getting too many other minds involved in the process is only going to bog you down, and not with cranberries. There's already a lot going on, so give yourself chances to disconnect.

Eventually, you'll be able to reconnect again, from a healthier place. Isolation is meant to help you, not remain a staple feature in your life. Sometimes we have to step away from people in order to enjoy the time spent with them again. Absence makes the heart fonder and all that. Your sense of light and joy is the key here. Does being alone make you feel more at ease, or does spending time with someone you care about? Daylily is named for their flowers which only bloom for one day before falling away. Orange Daylily is especially optimistic. It's asking you to take it one day at a time. A day for this, a day for that.

Soon, you will come to a place where you can feel more emotionally centered and your boat won't get rocked so easily. King of Cups isn't a rock, he lets himself feel tenderly and passionately, he lets others feel before him, but he doesn't let those feelings consume or overwhelm him. Don't be in a pressure to be that kind of person at the moment. You don't have to act emotionally above it all, or like you're only there to absorb the conflict. You can be King of Cups for your own sake, when you're ready to handle it. For now, quiet persistence is one way you can create emotional boundaries while you're undergoing shifts in your life.

Pile 2: Mauve Musk Mallow

Six of Wands, X Wheel of Fortune, I Magician, Eight of Cups, XIII Death Full Moon Aquarius - Show the World the Real You, Libra Moon - Sympathise, Gardenia - Awareness

I really liked the initial energy of this pile. You must have done something right! Because of your particular talents, and staying true to yourself as well, you were able to accomplish something that would have seemed impossible ages ago. It's like you're striking lucky somewhere in your life. I sense whatever this luck was varies so much because I'm not getting details as to what. The focus seems to be more on your sudden boost of confidence. It may begin to feel like things are finally starting to work out in your favor.

You are blooming through serendipity. This chance will spark a light in you to have more fun with your life. The Musk Mallow can represent playfulness, but mallow plants are notorious for their soothing capabilities. It's offering relief on the pressure valve a little so you can come back into balance with yourself again. However, this luck is not intended to last. It's there just enough to support and push you into a more positive direction, but it's not something to fall back on hoping there will no longer be worries. Allow yourself to enjoy the success but don't let it get to your head.

I think in order to receive this opportunity, you'll need to let go of something, maybe just for a little while like a break. It could be other opportunities that are tempting you or some blockage getting in the way. I get a sense for many of you that you may need to spend less time with certain people even if temporarily. This is in order to focus and allow the best possible outcome. The people you would be distancing will likely be people who don't support you or have the best intentions for your future. Don't entertain those who try to put you down for your successes. It may suck if this is a close friend or family member, but a true friend will stick around for you even if you suddenly get swept up in something good, even if you have to undergo radical change to make it possible.

Either way, I see you taking on this opportunity with a high chance for further success if you can keep your head in the game. Stay vigilant and don't rest now while the iron is still hot--strike! Take a moment to feel good about yourself without shame. It's okay to feel bad if some can't necessarily share with you in that success. It doesn't mean you have to let them drag you down with negative attitudes. You're doing your own thing, here.

Pile 3: Red Bee Balm

Ten of Pentacles (Rv), VI Lovers, Nine of Swords, XIV Temperance, Ten of Swords Third Quarter Moon - Adjustments Are Required, Aries Sun - Assert, Orange Blossom - Enthusiasm

This might be a specific message for some: are you planning to come out of the closet to anyone close to you, like family members? Or you could be disclosing a delicate secret to them about something like a choice you've recently made? Whatever it is, it has you feeling in a bit of a tangle. This is something that's been bugging you for a while and you're at the point where you're willing to step it up and change.

You are blooming through authenticity. You're coming into a place where you feel more real with yourself, and more aligned with your decisions. You're seeing yourself for who you are, with all the cultural and religious baggage at the side for now. Through that, you're able to expand your awareness on what it is you want out of life. Maybe you'd rather move than stay where you are, or change college majors, maybe you'd rather get a pet fish than a pet hamster. You have to know who you are to know what it is you want. Funny how it doesn't always work the other way around. Wants can be fickle but you're learning to balance the different perspectives.

If this choice means leaving behind values that have been passed down to you for ages, it may not necessarily be easy. It may not always involve stripping away it all. You don't have to throw the baby out with the bathwater, if you're just looking to give the child better soap. You can leave behind that which is only pulling you away from your authentic self. The rest is fluff. Tropical Aries Sun starts off spring season, reminding you that for every end you have the ability to create a new and better beginning with enthusiasm.

Be gentle with how you address this information to the outside. You may likely encounter opposition with your choices, especially those who would rather treat you like a child. Assertion is not the same as aggression, remember. We sometimes get caught up in our heads, believing everyone who's against us will always be fervently against us, which isn't always so. People can always change their minds and open up. It's not in your power to push them through that door, you can only keep the door open and point the signs in that direction. If they sting you, Bee Balm's medicine will be there with you, easing the pain and cheering you on for your commitment to yourself.

Pile 4: African Violet

Knight of Pentacles, Five of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, Eight of Cups (Rv.), Nine of Pentacles New Moon Cancer - You and Your Loved Ones Are Safe, Leo Sun - Create, Azalea - Temperance

Wherever it is in life you're focused on most, you've been diligently chipping away at it for some time. It feels like the right strike to hit gold is close. You're hoping that once you do, things will smooth out again and you can breathe. Every now and then, though, there comes a time where you have to stop where you are at in the present and breathe. As you do, notice everything going on around you and the amazing things currently at your table.

You are blooming through gratitude. It's not a typical message you get with the sad five of cups, but sometimes we have to look closely. The girl depicted clearly feels close to the seal, and they're able to bond over good times together even when dark uncertain times have crossed them. They're able to remember what was special, which any sadness on the surface can't erase. The two cups standing represent gratitude and hope. You're able to see that you've come a long way, and though there's much to still do, you can take the time to enjoy what you've accomplished so far. There's a bittersweet feeling to it, though, like you're not sure if you want to stop and mull for too much or you might feel too hard about what's been missed or left behind long ago.

Is there a worry over how loved ones around you might be reacting to your growth? This spread is signalling that you've already come so far, so there's no fret in slowing down and making time to spend with others. Family doesn't have to mean literal family, it refers to whomever you call "home". It could be your one dog and a studio apartment and I'd say "yes, take your dog on an extra walk today, not just cause they're a good dog but because you need this time to decompress and your dog wants to help you." Whether people in your life are under or over reacting, it doesn't have to affect your sense of gratitude for your progress. Maybe they're giving you no support for your efforts, or they're being overbearing to where you feel like they're actually pushing you away from what you're doing, but you're the Queen of Pentacles here, happily receiving from the Nine of Pentacles. The gratitude is in your mindset and how you approach it.

There's also one more separate advice, pile 4. Don't let your family discourage you from what you're making. Please don't toss away whatever it is you're working on now. Leo Sun wants you to be bold, open, and creatively expressive. Find a way to balance between working on it and getting feedback from everyone else. African Violets love that you care for family, but feels you could do without the smothering effect neglecting your growth. There's a time and a place for everything. Just make sure you're taking care of yourself in the meanwhile.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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lashton-is-my-drug · 2 years

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Luke and Ash living together at Ash’s house during quarantine lockdown and got more serious than ever before.

Amazon Music and Spilling The Quarrantea livestreams, plus other things.

1. The food situation. Discourse back and forth between Luke and Ash of being out of food, during both livestreams.

Both talking about being out of groceries and kept bringing up fish fingers and chicken fingers/nuggets. Pretended to both go get groceries when Michael said the grocery store (Ralph's) just restocked. Ash is the first to get up and leave, fast. Luke only starts to get up to leave.

It seems like perhaps Ash is the one that does the grocery shopping. Ash is the one who says he's going to the store when he can. Luke doesn't offer that idea up. Luke seems like he was sulking because he didn't have the foods he likes. Notice how his demeanor is when they're talking about not having food, in the Quarrantea livestream. Luke even tries to make a point by asking everyone what they're having for dinner, Ash reiterates his fish fingers situation, Michael gives an answer that he hasn't even given it a thought.

2. Amazon Music livestream, Pink Floyd, Lashton listening to Pink Floyd together. Public mentions by both.

a. August 13, 2021 Pink Floyd was one of the influences for Luke’s solo album. Luke brings them up when talking about his song ‘Beautiful Dream’ (Nylon mag interview )

b. Ash worn lots of PF band tees throughout the years (incl. recent pap pics of him walking with Cal via his own twitter May 1, 2019).

c. Ash tweet using “Welcome to the Machine” businessman on fire artwork March 20, 2020.

d. During Luke’s August 2021 interview with Billboard for WFTTWTAF, “I listened to so much Pink Floyd in the past couple of years, especially [during lockdown], and was very influenced by them, particularly Dark Side of the Moon." Billboard 20 Questions interview.

e. ”Welcome to the Machine” from the “Wish You Were Here” EP to Ash’s ig story on Dec 16, 2021.

f. Ash posted a video to his ig story of Pink Floyd “Echoes” in Pompeii performance on July 20, 2022.

3. Spilling the Quarrantea - Luke saying Ash only started growing his own vegetables “10 minutes ago” (He’s clued into this small detail, Ash doesn’t argue it)

4. The only thing Luke had to say about Sierra during lockdown was that she had been making bread (so was many of the population) - not from livestreams but interesting enough to include.

5. Spilling the Quarrantea - The room Luke is in has very similar style to the room Ash is in (possibly in the same house, noteworthy)

6. Ash promo pic of Superbloom includes similar wallpaper than the wallpaper in Luke’s studio room. (same house? wallpaper shopping together?)

7. I’m suspicious that Luke’s WFTTWTAF ig live was at Ash’s house

8. Luke gets the rose tattoo (Ash has one on his arm). Fans notice in picture August 6. 2021.

9. Luke and Ash each wear the black onyx rings for Twitch stream ranking 5SOS songs (Aug 19, 2021), (Lierra engagement announced June 8, 2021 via People), so he’s engaged yet wearing a matching ring with someone else…. Ok

10. Muke isn’t real, Michael reads wattpad fanfic in front of a huge livestream of fans. A partner wouldn’t do that. Ash swooped in to save the situation by making up his own funny one about Cal.

11. Ash took the trip to the desert to go create his solo album, meanwhile Luke creates his own album back in LA. They gave each other a bit of space in their creative processes to write. Pick someone supportive.

12. Ash writes songs about lies, pain, and he’s so tortured, yet publicly he is supposedly in a happy relationship (which is whats being pushed on social media). Ash’s relationship ends lowkey sometime before his birthday but after release of album. Releases his album independently. Then, right before Luke’s album is released on a record label under Sony, there’s an engagement with the gf who is also a songwriter on his album which is being promoted in his album interviews.

13. Luke writing songs about Camellia Street and a change of heart. The narrative is it's where Sierra’s apartment was when they met, but what’s not being said is there’s actually a Camellia Street in Western Sydney where the guys are from. If he were to say that and Sierra hasn’t lived in Aus, then it leaves it open for question (who is Luke having ‘a change of heart’ with?).

14. Luke writing lyrics “Now with my eyes wide open, I’m nothing but a fake”, “I’m on my way to Wonderland, take off my suit and wander in for a moment Or hide for a lifetime”

15. Ash writes songs about lying and living in a cage (“Perfect Lie”) and lyrics such as, “I’ve been living my life but it’s not how it looks” and “Playin’ but not on the team” (“Sunshine”).

Amazon Music Livestream March 27, 2020

Link to Amazon Music livestream

The moment Ash leaves to go pee, Luke looks away from screen..

Cal remarks about Luke’s background, Ash makes a joke “that's not blurred that the clouds bro, Luke lives up in the hills.” Cal: “He doesn’t like those jokes.” Ash: “I love it! He hates them!” *continues laughing* (this reminds me of when Ash brought up the nickname “breadstick”/a>)

Ash helps Luke with figuring out how to get the chat. “You need to get it fullscreen Luke.” (Helping one another)

Luke “Ashton, where do you buy your glasses? The toilet store” Ash “No no no, Don’t encourage him! 2002 Simpsons humor!” Luke laughing (Luke dishing it back at Ash)

Ash “Luke, here’s one, you bogus!”

Ash “Heartbreak Grill” Luke “Heartbake girl” Burgers versus cookies. Ash starts to fight him on it but then lets it go.

Luke is stone faced and quiet when Ash starts talking about his ‘long lost love bodybuilder gf in high school’.

Ash’s dinner last night was 8 chicken nugs and a bag of popcorn. (In an interview, Ash said of the whole band, he’s the best cook and Luke is the worst, Ash poked fun at Luke microwaves eggs, perhaps Luke doesn’t cook much at all at home so Ash fends for himself often. Also, if Ash supposedly has a gf why didn’t she help figure out food?)

Ash: “Here's a good comment. Luke speak, I want to hear your voice” (Very smooth Ash. Ash has spoken a lot in interviews about how much he loves Luke’s voice. A couple of examples: backstage 2018 ARIAS Seconds of Summer: Backstage at ARIAs 2018 (5SOS Uncut), promo interview for Superbloom )

Ash: “Do you mind if I go upstairs and make a sandwich and be back in 20 mins?” Luke: “a chicken nuggets sandwich?” (the ongoing references to chicken nuggets/fish fingers, they are sharing a freezer/fridge)

Ash chooses a comment asking to sing Pink Floyd, Ash impromptu singing “Wish You Were Here”. “Uh! I’ve got that one!” * Luke immediately picks the guitar back up and starts playing a couple chords with a grin on his face*

(44:00) Luke has heart eyes and touches his eye with his hand, when Ash ends the story he wrote to redirect attention of livestream from the super uncomfortable wattpad Luke romance fanfic that Michael reads.

(48:50) Ash reads a “worst” comment to sing Lady Gaga but yet starts singing “Perfect Illusion”.

(about 50:00) Randomly Ash says “You’re telling me, you’ve seen a million faces and you’ve rocked them all?” *Luke laughs* A lyric of one of Luke’s longtime favorite bands Bon Jovi. Again, Luke picks up guitar then plays a few notes of “Dead or Alive”.

(about 52:00) Ash reads a comment to listen to “Toxic” by Britney Spears. Ash then dances to it. Luke with huge grin on his face, bopping his head.

(about 57:30) Ash reads a comment for Luke to sing SLSP. Luke picks up guitar and starts playing. Ash “that rocked, that rocked my world”

(about 1:00:00) Fun fact: Empty Wallets was the first single they wanted to release off of Youngblood. (Lashton song, but that’s for a different day.)

(about 1:00:00) Ash “Here’s one. ‘Luke sing “Single Ladies” by Beyonce.’ I want to see that.” starts singing “put your hands up”

(about 1:02:00) Luke compliments Ash doing low screams, then says he can do the low screams and Luke can do the high screams.

(about 1:04:00) Ash “I like this comment. ‘This is what real men vibe to.’ Damn right. That’s… thats true” *smiles* Luke: “Damn straight”

Over the course of the livestream, Ash reads out comments to read Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Beyonce.

Spilling the Quarrantea April 20, 2020

Link to Spilling the Quarrantea livestream

Luke and Ash both say that they are low on food, then when Michael says Ralph’s just restocked they both pretend to go together. Ash keeps repeating he only had fish fingers to eat, and Luke saying deflatedly that he has nothing left. When they get back into frame, Luke picks a quarrel by saying he bought all of the fish fingers so he can’t have any. Ash “I’m already down to my last groceries” Luke “Yeah I’ve got nothing left.” It’s brought up again later on. Ash “I just ate my last bag of fish fingers” Luke “yeah I’ve got no, I’ve got no food. I just ate my last chicken fingers.”” Luke brings up “what are you guys having for dinner?” Ash “I ate my fish fingers until I brave the outside world.” *Luke’s small awkward laugh*

Ash: “How was Ralph’s?” Luke: “Ralph’s was good. I bought all the fish fingers and there’s none left for you”

Luke and Ash being in sync so much they both turn to the side and lean down at the same time, at the end.

Ash makes a joke about Petunia being Luke’s roommate. Notice how much Luke and Ash are making jokes and ganging up on Cal and/or Michael.

Right at the beginning, Ash starts pretty much serenading Luke by playing the guitar and singing “Hey Carissa” to him.

Luke starts singing “Come come with a kick drum and a gary” and Ash is the only one that immediately starts clapping along.

Cal asks what they’ve been up to, that he hasn't seen them for two weeks, and Luke jokes about finishing the 5th album. Luke and Ash: “Gotta hit’em with a two hit wonder”, they both start shadowboxing.

Luke and Ash gang up on Cal about his outfit being a surf culture company. (Mind you, they themselves have been spotted before wearing the same company). Luke and Ash are losing their shit laughing.

Ash says “this is gotta be x rated, x rated, parental guidance rating for that fringe” when Luke’s bangs are in front of his headphones. Luke and Ash smirk and laugh.

Luke: I was trying to get the lighting right, does it look better or worse?” Ash “guess so, guess so” Luke: “It's hard to get lighting right” *Ash laughing* Ash “So hard” more laughing while Luke then pouts. (Luke has a pattern, since they’ve known each other, of pouting and fake crying to Ash, if he wants to get his way or feels like he’s let him down.)

Luke is asked “What have you been up to?” Luke: “I’ve been growing this beard, dyed my hair for a music video that didn’t happen” Ash flamboyantly says “you look amaaaaazing”.

Luke does a move with his hands thinking it was a move for the music video for “Lost Boy”. Luke: “That's that video we did this thing.” Ash: *agrees softly to him* (a music video doesn’t exist for “Lost Boy”.)

Ash remembers Luke’s mom's tuna bake “that shit was good”. Luke jokes: “sounds like you're gonna make a your momma joke” Ash: “it was good” (a memory involving Luke’s mom is something that Ash recalls from their time in London, of which all the guys were just saying they don’t remember anything from then.)

Luke and Ash having their own conversation about Ash shaving his head for the album promo. Which then leads to joking about host mode. Luke bullies Ash about asking Michael about his least favorite song on the first album, Ash fondly laughs.

Ash tries again to get Luke to go into host mode, but then Luke tries to put it onto Michael to host.

At about the 26:00 mark, Luke and Ash are mirroring each other's head tilts.

“The Girl Who Cried Wolf” Luke and Ash copy each other’s “it's just lies!”

Ash “When do you think we’ll be able to see each other again.” Luke gets quiet with a serious look on his face and puts hand in front of his mouth.

(35:00) Ash and Luke mirroring touching the forehead.

Luke bursts out laughing when Ash puts the Ikea site on screen. (Luke finds Ash hilarious for everything istg, it's adorable don't get me wrong)

After the Ikea site, the first google search Ash does is “luke hemmings worst moments” then “luke hemmings net worth”. (Luke is first in Ash’s mind)

Ash mimicking Petunia’s zoned out face.

Ash “wow your roommate’s so hot, whats her name? Patrice?”, when Luke turns around to see Petunia, Ash does the same exact maneuver. Mirroring.

Luke does the “I love you” hand sign, and Ash says “I love you man”.

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nguyenfinity · 1 year

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Part 2 of SUPERBLOOM! (Part 1) Yeah so funny story I started this series in late April/May of last year like “Oh I’ll just do one about every day and a half so I can post the rainbow one on June 1st”

This entire thing took me April-October.

Also I was looping the album to get the correct vibes of the songs for these and I think I accidentally landed myself in the top like .1% of MisterWives listeners--

Songs below the cut!

Left to right: 7-2, rock bottom, coming up for air, oxygen, running in place, decide to be happy, love me true, 3 small words, muse, SUPERBLOOM

Full album: https://open.spotify.com/album/59f3BAKRdlWeaGTetnUPob?si=rySFlsZnR5WPKVvjfU42Zw

#original art #music art #superbloom #it really is a good album i do recommend it #it's about the singer after ending an 8 year relationship and her moving on from it and learning to love herself again #it was a rough time for me too so it was also about self growth for me i think #a lot of growth as an artist too #also these are where the pink girlfriends are from!#oc panopte #oc agape #i really really wanna do so much more original art but i think people expect enstars from me now...#which is fine! but i also know it's fine if i wanna do my own thing sometimes!#but if you're here and reading this and sticking with me thank you so much!!

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roads-rise-to-meet-me · 10 months

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10 Songs, 10 People

Tagged by @onlymeandlife. Thank you so much!!! ❤ Need to get into posting again. But even when school is over with for the semester it saps all of my motivation to do anything but reblog shitposts. 😖

Rules: Check out your ‘On Repeat’ playlist and list the first 10 songs that come up.

1. Rose-Colored Boy - Paramore

2. SUPERBLOOM - MisterWives

3. Pierre - Ryn Weaver

4. Smoke & Ribbons - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

5. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince - Taylor Swift

6. Dreaming - Smallpools

7. Brave as a Noun - AJJ

8. This Year - The Mountain Goats

9. Lavender Haze - Taylor Swift

10. Last Rites - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

Tagging With No Pressure: @officiallyjewls @cinnamon-mey @drunkchasind @kugo1 @theviridianbunny @projectdanse @jaymber @rindemption @katsigian @daceyarik

#music #tag game

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ghost-of-you · 2 years

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Catch 22 - CH - Part 1

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Some swearing but I think that’s it, this part is pretty chill.

Author's note: Okay, so, this story is my nemesis. If you follow me you probably saw me complaining about this at least once. I’ve been writing this since April 2019 and I’ve tried to write some form of it many times since 2013 so the fact that I'm actually posting this is quite impressive to me. This started as a one-shot of a fight and, well, I thought about how I could make the full story work this time and it got out of my control. It’s kinda like if I wrote the guy my 17 yo self was building in her head while he kept pulling shit on me.

About the story: the full thing is about 60k long, and it’s a slowburn, it’s unconventional, but still a slowburn, they just go around and around, you’ll get what I mean. Honestly, when I think about this story I think about how I met your mother and the quote “If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing: timing. But timing is a bitch." I really like chronic bad timing as a plot point and the interesting thing about bad timing is that once it's wrong it's really hard to get it right, add that and a shit ton of denial and we have them. Oh there's also a lot of best friend Michael cuz this is self-indulging okasoasas

quick shoutout to @in-superbloom and @hoodharlow for the feedback on this and literally everyone that had to listen to me talk about this in the past 3 years or so.

The title for this one is from State of Grace by Taylor Swift.

read it on ao3

Series Masterlist

playlist

part 2

_____________________

And I never saw you coming

2011

Sitting on the floor of Michael's room while losing to him in whatever video game they are playing is a common thing in Emma's life. What isn't as common are the other boys that crashed into it. Although they are quickly becoming a constant in her routine: getting home from school, listening to the loud sounds coming from the house next door, crashing rehearsals, and talking about music.

Days like this, where there isn’t someone playing some instrument, are rare, but the Mario Kart match escalated, and Michael and Luke not wanting to admit defeat had turned the game into a full tournament. Emma is betting on Michael and Calum, on Luke.

"Of course, Michael is going to win, playing is all he ever does," she states, gesturing to both boys in the bed while sitting on the floor next to Calum, and that makes Michael protest with a "hey.”

"But Luke is better at this game," Calum says as a red shell hits Luke, allowing Michael to pass him in the last curve.

"Is he, though?" Emma points at the screen, grinning at Calum, making him roll his eyes.

"Victory!" Michael says, dropping his controller, and she leans forward to high-five him.

"That doesn't prove anything," Luke complains as the podium sequence plays on the screen.

"Wasn't that the whole point of the last 30 minutes? Come on it's just a stupid game, who cares?" Emma says, running her hands through her hair.

"I do!" Both boys answer in unison.

“You guys are ridiculous. This game takes more luck than ability. You can be the first, take a blue shell just because you’re loading too much of the track and loose, or Michael can be second during the whole thing and get a red one and pass Luke in the last second. You’ll never settle this. We’ll be here forever at this pace.” She doesn't realize how frustrated she sounds, throwing her hands up, as the two boys looked at her dumbfounded.

“She’s got a point, mate,” Calum says by her side, pressing his lips to stop himself from laughing, and she bursts into laughter when she turns to him. She doesn’t really know why she’s laughing so much. It all just feels so funny to her. So she throws her head back, laughing until she’s out of breath. The boys following as if the girl losing it was the funniest thing that happened that day. Not Michael pushing Calum off the bed when he was about to pass him. Or the terrible race between Emma and Luke where she somehow finished it a full five minutes after he won.

“No, I don’t, not really,” she says when she finally catches her breath again. “That was intense for someone that’s saying you’re the ones too invested,” she adds, looking at Michael, who has an amused expression on his face.

“Does that mean you don’t want me to win?” He asks her with a grin.

“Well, it would be good for your ego to lose sometimes. It’s not like I’m that big of a competition,” Emma shrugs, “at least Luke makes you work for it.”

“So it means you’re admitting I’m the best?” He brags, making her roll her eyes.

“Wouldn’t you like that, M? Maybe you should start another tournament, it’s not like you’re gonna settle this anytime soon.”

“Or we could rehearse like we were supposed to,” Calum says, eyeing them.

“Cal's right,” Luke says, picking up a guitar.

“So, you’re giving up?” Michael questions and Luke just sighs.

“Winning by default it’s not really winning,” Calum says.

“But I already won.” Michael protests, looking around his friends.

“Did you? Did you really?” Calum adds, making Emma choke on a chuckle.

"After this, I want a rematch," Michael replies, pointing at Luke before picking up his guitar.

"You want a rematch for a game you won?" Emma asks, with a giggle. "See, I told you losing would be good for your ego."

"That doesn't make any sense, trouble," he says, giving her a confused look.

"Of course it does," she shrugs as if telling him to let it go. "What song are you doing next?"

_____

"Hey," Emma says before sitting down on the curb and nudging the boy already sitting there with her shoulder and Calum turns and smiles at her, removing his earphones.

"Hi," he replies, while she takes her backpack off her shoulders and places it in front of her.

"It's M not home yet?" She asks, wondering why he's sitting outside alone.

"Nope," he answers, fidgeting with the cable in his hands.

"Shouldn't you be in school with him then?" She tilts her head, studying him, his brown eyes staring back into her hazel ones.

"I skipped it today," he replies, voice low.

"M is at school and you're not?" She laughs, sounding confused before pausing and looking at him for a moment, “are you okay?” She adds, still trying to read him.

“Yeah, just tired,” he nods and rubs his eyes before going back to playing with the cable, twisting it between his fingers.

“Okay,” she decides not to push it. “What are we listening to?” She asks, taking the earphones from him, putting one side in her ear, and listening until she recognizes an All Time Low song playing. She nods to it, scooting closer to him and offering him the other side. He raises an eyebrow to her, before letting out a chuckle and taking it, placing it in his ear.

They stay like that until the song changes, and he relaxes beside her, dropping his head to her shoulder. She giggles when he yawns and lowers her head to his. That’s how Michael and Luke find them after a few songs, sharing earphones on the sidewalk.

“Awn,” Michael says, making Emma roll her eyes and Calum dart away, taking the cord with him, making Emma turn to him, laughing at the alarm in his face.

“You good?” She asks, getting up, and the boy nods. “Come on,” she offers her hand, helping him stand up and stopping in front of him, still holding his hand. “You sure?” She whispers, tilting her head, searching his face. Something about his expression softens, looking at her, and he nods again, letting go of her hand.

“This is like, the first time in months, I’m home before you guys get here,” she turns to the other boys, greeting them with fist bumps, before picking her backpack from the ground, “but I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says and waves, walking away backward.

“Wait, you’re not coming?” Michael asks, frowning at her.

“Nope, sometimes I need to catch up on my school work, if you’re gonna be the famous one, I need to be the smart one,” she jokes, stopping to see his reaction.

“What are you implying?” He frowns harder at her as the other two boys laugh, and she raises her hands.

“You can get whatever you want from that,” she shrugs, “I’ll love you anyway.” She turns on her heels, mock-saluting them, “I’ll see ya soon.”

She reaches her gate and waves again to the boys still on the sidewalk, before going in.

_______

"Let's go to the beach," Emma offers, getting up from the floor. They are in Calum's house, supposedly at band rehearsal, now that school is out and they are actually a band, but Emma could tell they were drained. Michael was playing the same note repeatedly, and Ashton was just slowly hitting the same spot on his cajón again and again. They all look at her like it's a terrible idea. "Come on, you guys haven't come up with anything since we got here. You need to get your energy flowing," she adds but they still didn't look convinced. "It's a beautiful day, please, you'll feel better and I like a spot not far from here," she says, looking at Ashton with pleading eyes, knowing that if she convinces him, then the others will follow.

"She's right," Calum says, taking her by surprise, but she smiles at him.

"Come on," she says moving to Michael, taking the guitar away from him with no resistance, taking his hands and pulling him to his feet, "we can take a ball, it will be fun."

"Are you trying to convince me by using a ball?" He gives her an unimpressed look.

"I'll let you throw it at people's heads," she jokes, making them laugh.

"Fine," he agrees, making her let out an excited "yes!" As she spins on her heels, "you do have a ball, right?" She says to Calum, making the boys grin, and Calum smirks and raises an eyebrow at her, "don't you dare," she warns him, raising her eyebrow and he raises his arms in defense, "I meant a football or something, didn't you used to play?"

"I do have a football or something," he looks like he's going to add something, but she shoots him another warning look.

"Great, go get it and let's go!" She shoos him, laughing and he frowns at her but does what she asks while she moves around the room, getting the rest of the boys to get up.

The walk to the place Emma wants to go is short, passing quickly as she stops Michael from throwing the ball into random strangers.

"But you said you'd let me," he pouts when she finally takes the ball away from him.

"Yeah, I meant Luke's head," she replies, earning a "hey" from the blonde while the rest of them laugh.

They finally get to the beach, a spot by the end of it, rock formations to the left, and a patch of sand with not much around.

Emma kicks her sneakers off, picking them up and making a beeline straight to the sea. She's laughing and kicking water, Michael joining her.

"Is it cold?" One of the boys asks as she jumps to Michael's back.

"Yeah," she answers and laughs when Michael pretends to throw her into the water, making her hold on to him harder. He's holding her by her thighs and walks them back to the rest of the boys.

"So? You're all just gonna stand there?" She asks, giving a disapproving look, resting her chin on Michael's shoulder.

"What are we supposed to do?" Luke asks.

"How should I know? I just wanted to get you all out of that room. You need some fun," she says with a grin.

"You could throw the ball at them," Calum suggests handing him the ball, and the blonde grins turning back to Emma and Michael, making her screech and jump off Michael's back the moment the ball hits him. He surprisingly catches it and throws it back, hitting Calum, who turns it into a game of dodgeball.

She doesn’t know how it happens, but all 5 of them are lying in the sand, Emma laughing so hard her belly hurts about how the ball bounced off Luke's head into Ashton's.

"I'm gonna go find us something to drink," Ashton says while getting up. "Does anyone want to come?"

"Yeah, sure," Luke says while he and Michael stand up.

"I'm fine right here," Emma says, and Michael looks back, looking conflicted.

"I'll stay with her," Calum tells him, who nods, and the boys start walking to the street, leaving them alone and Calum moves closer to sit beside her.

"How are you not freezing?" He asks, making her look down at her tank top and his hoodie while sitting up. The sudden change in the weather took her by surprise, the sun hiding and the salty wind picking up speed, making her painfully cold now that he had pointed it out.

"Oh, I am," she reaches her hand to him, touching his cheeks with ice-cold hands and he curses.

"I would offer my hoodie, but then I'd be cold," he jokes, making her roll her eyes. He looks thoughtful for a second and shifts in the sand, getting behind her, legs outstretched on both of her sides, "come here," he pulls her towards him, making her gasp, but melt into him when he wraps his arms around her, "no reason why any of us have to be cold."

"God, you're warm," she drops her head to his shoulder, leaning back on his chest, trying to get as much heat as she could, while she sneaks her hands into his sleeves.

"And you're an ice cube," he states, taking her hand from his arm, making her move her head so she could look at him. "You know, for someone that's claiming to love the beach, you'd think you wouldn't be transparent," he jokes, laughing at how white she is as he looks at her fingers between his.

"Hey, I'm tanner than M," she protests and he laughs.

"That's not hard."

She is about to protest when he pulls the ends of his sleeve, covering his right hand and taking her left, intertwining their fingers, effectively covering hers too. He does the same with the other hand, and she settles back against him.

"God, I love you," she closes her eyes, enjoying the heat.

"Nah, you just love how hot I am," he teases, and she laughs.

"Yeah, you're right."

They start talking about the plans for the holidays, her head moving to lay on his arm, so she could look at him, making him shift his leg up to rest his arm on his knee, making it more comfortable.

"Guys," Ashton's voice startles them both, making Emma jump and Calum drop his head to her shoulder with a sigh, while the boys sit down on the sand next to them, Michael shooting her a weird look and she mouths a “what?” and he mouths back “you two are cute,” and winks at her making her roll her eyes.

“Here,” Ashton throws a bottle to Emma, but Calum is faster, letting go of her hand and catching it before it falls. She laughs, looking at Calum and back at Ashton, getting her hands ready to pick up the second bottle he’s about to throw. She catches it and drops her head on Calum’s shoulder, and the boys start talking about some game, and she just relaxes, the last few rays of the sun making her content with just being there.

It doesn’t take long before the sun is completely gone, and thunders start rumbling, bringing them back to reality.

She detaches herself from Calum, getting up, shaking the sand off of her, and reaching a hand out to him to help him up. He takes it, holding on to it for a second too long. When they get to the street, Calum takes his hoodie off and hands it to Emma.

"I thought you weren't going to offer," she teases, accepting it but looking unconvinced down to it.

"I can take it back if you don't want it," he reaches for it, but she pulls it away.

"No!" She says, her voice high-pitched, "I was just wondering."

"My house is the closest, love, it's fine."

She looks at the hoodie in her hands and back to his face before pulling it over her head, not even noticing he had just called her love. It goes down to her thighs, almost covering her shorts. She's folding the sleeves so she can use her hands when she notices him looking at her.

"What?" She shoots him a questioning look, and he shakes his head and says, "nothing," at the same time Michael calls for her.

She’s still looking at Calum as the soft smile fades from his face when she moves away from him.

___

Emma doesn't even have time to question herself on why she is there. The rain took her by surprise, and now she's knocking on Calum's door, her feet taking her there because she has no idea where else to go. She's painfully cold and soaking wet from the run, praying for him to be home.

"Emma?" Calum takes in the sight of her with confused eyes, and she almost cries out in happiness at seeing him.

"Hi, can I wait here?" She says trying not to think about how cold she's feeling, "I called my dad but he can't pick me up yet and I'm cold and I'm wet and I didn't know where else to go," she rambles all in one breath making Calum laugh.

"You were at the beach," he states, “get in here,” moving to let her in, and she nods while getting into the house and she tries not to get water everywhere while following him to his room.

"Here," he hands her a towel, and she wraps it around her shoulder, too cold to try and dry herself. "What happened?" He asks while she stands in the middle of his bedroom, now unsure of what to do.

"I didn't notice the weather changing," she holds the towel closer, teeth chattering, and he walks to his dresser.

"No, why were you alone at the beach distracted enough not to notice the rain?" He asks, turning back to her, handing her a black piece of cloth, making her frown at him. "Dry yourself and we can talk without you breaking your teeth," he jokes and steps out of the room to give her privacy.

She stares at his closed door for a second before shaking her head and looking at the fabric in her hand, a plain long-sleeved black shirt. She dries herself as best as she can, before pulling his shirt over her head.

She looks around the room, confusion spinning in her head for a second, before walking out of the room to look for Calum, finding him sitting in the kitchen.

"Thanks," she stops by the door while grabbing the ends of the long sleeves and closing them in her hands, trying to keep in as much heat as she could, "for the shirt," she says when he turns to look at her.

"Can't let you freeze," he shrugs and she smiles at him swinging her arms around her while stepping into the kitchen.

"Are you alone?" She asks, looking around the room.

"Yep," he says, popping the p, and she stops.

"You sure it's okay for me to be here?"

"No, I should totally throw you back out in the rain," he teases, voice heavy with sarcasm, and she rolls her eyes, closing the distance to the chair beside him, leaning into the back of it.

There's a moment of silence where he's looking at her with a soft expression on his face, and she doesn't know what to do with herself.

"I just didn't want to be home," she blurts out, and he tilts his head, face puzzled. "You asked why I was at the beach," she states, and he shakes his head.

"No, I asked why you were distracted on the beach," he corrects, and she shrugs.

"Same difference."

"Is it?"

"I just lost track of time, I guess. I like being there. It’s calming."

"Is this why you like being there so much? ‘Cause it's calming?" He asks, looking intently at her.

"I'm not really calm in most places y' know?" She tells him after a beat.

"Not really," he chuckles.

She pulls the chair back, moving around it to sit facing him.

"It's just that, most of the time, I'm way too conscious about everything around me, so when I find a place that makes me stop feeling like that, I tend to forget about anything else." She pulls her feet up to sit with her legs crossed, leaning forward to prop her chin in her hands, "so on a bad day I run to the beach," she thinks for a second, "that if M is not available," she chuckles and Calum is looking at her, trying to understand it, and a small part of her wonders why she’s so comfortable around him.

"That sounds stressful."

"Maybe? Most days I barely notice it. Some days I don't notice it at all, some days are hell though," she frowns and shakes her hand to move the sleeves up so she could use her hands, "I don't know, does it make sense?"

"Not at all," he says, shaking his head.

"Well, it doesn't make much sense for me either," she tucks her hair behind her ear, "like, if I'm in class or something, I'm really conscious of everything, but if I'm at M's place and we are playing something, I'm not."

"Are you stressed now?" He leans forward a bit, his gaze so intense Emma feels like he can see her thoughts. That alone should've been enough to make her freak out, but when she looks back at him, she's as calm as she possibly could.

"Not really," she shakes her head.

"Good, come here," Calum says, standing up, taking her hand, and pulling her with him.

He walks them back to his room, still holding her hand, only letting go to sit down. She sits on his bed, kicking her shoes off and sliding into the bed while he fumbles around with his computer.

She laughs when Avatar The Last Airbender starts and raises an eyebrow at him when he turns around.

"What? It's good," he replies, standing up, "I was watching it before you got here. Now make room for me," he adds, making her roll her eyes while moving, crossing her legs, and leaning against the headboard. He settles beside her when the recap ends, and a clap of thunder makes her jump.

"God, I hate storms," she whimpers and unconsciously leans closer to him.

The episode is barely in the middle, Emma's head leaning on Calum's shoulder, when there's a flash, another thunder shaking through the house, and all the lights go out, leaving them in the dark.

"I fucking hate storms," she grunts again, burying her face in his shoulder and making him laugh. "What?" She asks, lifting her head.

"Nothing, I just don't think I've ever heard you swear before," he replies, making her groan and fight the urge to roll her eyes even though he can't see it.

“Really? Me saying fuck is funny? How old are you? Ten?” She frowns, leaning back to the headboard.

“Yeah, something like that,” he replies with a chuckle and she laughs.

“You want me to say fuck more often? For you to get used to it?” She jokes, watching his silhouette become clearer as her eyes get used to the dark.

“No, you’re too cute for me to get used to it.”

“Cute? Sure, I’ll take it,” she chuckles, and he gets up searching for something.

She watches, trying to see what he was doing until a song she didn't know starts playing on his phone.

"Come on, get up," he says, holding his hand out to Emma, who just looked up at him, confusion on her face.

"What? Why?" she asks, not moving, frowning at him suspiciously.

"I just want to try something," he takes her hands, and she lets him pull her to her feet.

She watches as he takes her left hand and puts it on his shoulder before doing the same with her right.

"Cal, what are you doing?"

“Can you just trust me, love?” He leads, making them move from side to side, and she chokes out a laugh. But she lets him move them, awkwardly dancing until it’s not awkward at all.

He moves a piece of her hair away from her face, and she feels her face heat up as his hand lingers on her cheek, and for a moment she's thankful there's not enough light around them, so he couldn’t see her blushing. She can barely make out his features in the low light, so she doesn't know if she is imagining the intensity in his gaze.

They stop moving, and Emma can feel her heart hammering in her chest. She wonders what's going through his mind, and she thinks he's leaning in when her phone starts ringing and the lights come back on, making them jump away from each other.

She clears her throat and shakes her head, moving to pick up her phone from the table while Calum scratches the back of his neck and starts looking at everything in the room but her.

"Hi, dad," she answers, sounding a little baffled before she can put her thoughts in order, "no, I'm not in the rain, I'm at Calum's," she pauses, listening, "you know, dark hair in the band with M? You drove us here the other day. Yeah, yeah, near the beach," she pauses again. "Okay, see you in a bit." She hangs up and puts the phone in her back pocket, turning to Calum, "he's already coming to pick me up," she motions to her back, "maybe I should wait outside, he said he's close," he only nods at her, whatever was happening before is clearly gone now, "okay." She mumbles fidgeting with the ends of her sleeves, before putting her shoes back on. "I'll give you your shirt back next time I see you," she says, even though she still hasn’t returned his hoodie, and moves out of the room with Calum following her.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, love," he says from behind her.

"Thank you," she murmurs when they reach the door, and she hears her father honking. Calum opens the door, and in a moment of boldness, Emma stands on her tiptoes, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "See ya, Cal," she says, rushing to her father’s car, leaving the boy standing there.

He's still watching when the car turns, and she can no longer see him in the rearview mirror.

______

Emma jumps when her phone rings on the counter, making her almost drop the tray she's about to set next to it. She puts the tray down before checking the phone.

From Cal: are u home?

She blinks a couple of times before responding, still startled.

To Cal: yeah…

To Cal: why?

From Cal: I think im early for rehearsal.

She laughs and makes her way through the house, stepping out to the porch and seeing Calum sitting on the sidewalk.

"Hey!" She calls for him, and when he turns around, she waves him over before buzzing the gate open.

"Hi, love," he greets her.

"Hey," she motions for him to follow her inside.

"I've never been in your house," Calum says, looking around.

"Really?" She frowns at him.

"Yeah. I wanna see your room," he states, and she laughs, leading him to it.

She learns against her wardrobe as he studies the room. His attention is drawn to her bed or the wall behind it.

"We have more pictures together than I thought," he says, getting closer to the pictures she has been taping there for a while now. Michael is the person with more appearances even if they never planned a lot of them. "This is cool," he adds without turning around.

"Yeah, I like pictures. And they make the room feel more, mine, I guess." She moves to sit in the bed, watching him when he points to a picture of the two of them. Her favorite. Not that she had really stopped to think about it. One where they're on the beach and she's sitting between his legs, back to his chest, head on the arm he’s resting on his knee looking up to his face, and Calum looks really concentrated on whatever she was telling him at the moment.

"I don’t think I’ve seen this one."

"Oh, M took it and sent it to me," she shrugs, “I thought you saw it too.”

“No,” he says, distracted, turning to look around.

There's an awkward pause, and she catches herself staring at him as he moves, his gaze going to the other side of the room.

"You have a guitar?" He points to the acoustic guitar she has set in a corner, sounding surprised.

"It was my dad's. He said I could have it if I learned how to play it. I never did, though, not really, anyway," she explains, but his attention had already shifted to her keyboard.

"You play that?" He asks, sounding impressed as he moves towards it, making her laugh.

"Yep," she tells him, getting up from the bed when he sits on the bench near it. He looks back when she comes to stand behind him, looking a little in awe.

"You're kidding," he says, and she shakes her head, "no way, how did I not know that?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "you never asked, I never told you."

"We're friends 'cause of a band and the subject of you playing something never came up?" He turns, and she shakes her head. "Okay, any other talents I need to know?" He adds, making her laugh.

"I bake?" She tells him, sounding more like a question, and he looks a little surprised.

"You bake?" She nods, and he frowns, "you?"

"Yeah, me."

"That's something that should've been mentioned at some point," he exclaims, making her laugh.

"I didn't feel like having to feed you all," she jokes and he opens his mouth and closes it again, thinking of a comeback.

"You know what? That's fair."

"I was taking some brownies out of the oven when you texted me."

“Really?” His eyes light up and she laughs.

“Come on,” she says, motioning for him to follow her and going back to the kitchen, with Calum in her heels.

Emma fumbles through the drawers, looking for a knife when she hears his cursing and starts laughing.

“I meant it when I said they had just come out of the oven,” she says, turning to him and seeing him pouting slightly, her heart skipping a beat as she registers how cute he looks. She shakes her head, moving to the counter, “just sit down, and prepare to be amazed,” she laughs and he gives her an impressed look.

“Okay,” he replies, sitting on the stool by her side while she cuts the brownie into squares.

“Here,” she pushes the plate towards him, before sitting and looking at him expectantly.

He takes a bite and lets out a pleased groan that makes a grin show on her face.

“You’re my new favorite person,” he says and she starts giggling, “please marry me.”

“You’re that easy?” She asks, trying to keep a straight face before breaking down laughing.

“Yes,” he tells her, laughing too.

“All I have to do is supply you with brownies?”

“Yes, the only string attached.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she giggles, taking a piece for herself, “I think M is home,” Emma says, as a muffled guitar starts to play. She gets up and takes the plate with the brownies, and Calum follows her when she remembers something. “Wait,” she hands him the plate and runs to her room.

“I keep forgetting to give this back to you,” she says when she comes back, and he's still standing where she left him with a confused but amused frown, handing him the hoodie he lent her that day on the beach. “The shirt is washing, though, so you’re gonna have to wait,” she adds.

“It’s fine, love, don’t worry,” she smiles and takes the plate from him.

“Let’s go then.”

_______ If you wanna get tagged, please feel free to message me.

#5sos fic #calum hood fic #i dont know how to tag fics #so yeah #mywriting #catch22 #calum hood fanfic #calum hood x oc #5 seconds of summer fanfic #if this gets literally any interaction im posting part 2 tomorrow soasokas #im doing it folks #also shoutout to my best friend #he wont see this but he was pivotal in me writing this cuz he remembers how shit went down better than i do and he has some great insights #i just wanna add this somewhere

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