#1980 what ifs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladywynneoutlander · 10 months

Text

Thoughts on 703 - Death Be Not Proud

Jumping right in to episode three. The story is flying along, but with so much to cover I can see why. It makes me glad to know there is one more season on the way.

What a thrill to see Jemmy's box arrive.

The 1980's look really great onscreen. Honestly I don't remember people in the US looking so nice and cozy. My parents forced us into loud geometric prints, but I digress. : ) This show must be a literal dream for the set designers, costume designers, hair, and makeup artists that get to recreate so many different eras.

I'm glad they expanded on the house fire scene. It needed it for clarity as to what exactly happened and as to who exactly died (i.e. all the bandits). The fire itself was a true spectacle, and very moving. It was fitting for the importance of the event in terms of character's lives, story moving forward, and the settling of the newspaper article plot that brought Bree to the 18th century way back in season 4. "Bloody newspapers. Never get anything right." Good job Brianna. Mission accomplished.

The aftermath of the fire is a visual that struck me. Love amidst ruin.

Mr. Bug speaks at last. I am glad that the Bugs were finally fleshed out as characters, and tie-ins to the Rising are always interesting. These connections past to present give the story so much depth. However, they did leave out some of Mr. Bug's personal vendetta against Jamie's family, and I was a little confused about why he thought he and Mrs. Bug deserved the gold.

The moment of Mrs. Bug encouraging and supporting Arch was simply lovely. It highlighted the complexity of the situation and was completely necessary for what comes next to have the impact it deserved.

Ian, poor lad. I'm not getting into the plot holes here. Ignoring "what ifs" for the sake of time and sanity.

The funeral. Caitriona Balfe really did sing the Ave Maria. She has such a beautiful voice!

Mr. Bug's face as he laid Murdina to rest was enough to break your heart; and then moments later, his face as he threatened Ian was enough to chill it. Wow.

It was a minor thing but I liked the slight drizzle throughout the episode, especially the funeral. So appropriate. I wonder if they created it or just went with the weather?

I love Jamie's dream. How special, and this one confirmed he truly has a connection with the future.

Adso, dearest, you represent the Ridge. This made me hate so much that Claire has to leave her home. As excited as I am for what is to come, I was almost angry at Jamie for making her go.

Finally, the little transitional pictures are perfect emotional cues. I know it is a really tiny detail, but I noticed them this episode particularly. They set the scenes, make everything flow, and reinforce the scenic beauty that has been part of Outlander from season one. And they weren't always used, sometimes transitions are fade outs, so very nice.

I like the little moments of domestic happiness woven throughout this episode, which give it kind of an even keel. Yes, there was tragedy, but there was also calm. There was love through mourning. We even see this in the future with Bree and Roger at Lallybroch, longing for their loved ones. It is very Outlander.

Enjoyed this episode. It felt like time with friends. : ) Wishing everyone the best and a very happy fourth to those in the US. 🧡

#outlander #703 #death be not proud #ladywynneoutlandersthoughts #can't wait to see Lallybroch again!#caitriona balfe #“I think God takes no account of time.”#nice quote #complex thought #theory of relativity anyone?#claire fraser #jamie fraser #young ian #arch bug #murdina bug #brianna mackenzie #adso

48 notes · View notes

religion-is-a-mental-illness · 29 days

Text

By: Szu Ping Chan

Published: Mar 31, 2024

Britain has a boy problem. If you are born male today, you are increasingly likely to struggle in school, in the workplace and at home.

The gender attainment gap is not new – girls have been outperforming boys at GCSE level for over three decades now, while the number of women completing degrees has exceeded the number of men since the 1990s.

But solving the problem of underachievement among boys has never been more crucial. Economic growth is stalling, productivity is flatlining and public finances are creaking under the strain of growing benefits bills.

At a time when businesses are struggling to hire, more and more men are dropping out of the workforce. Everyone in society must achieve their fullest potential if we are to fix our economic problems.

There is a political dimension too – William Hague earlier this month raised the alarm about the growing numbers of disaffected young men who, with little offered or promised to them in life, were turning to far-Right politics.

There is nothing innate about boys’ underachievement. There is no fundamental reason why outcomes should be getting worse.

Yet without a concerted effort to close the attainment gap, it seems destined to widen. Ever more men and boys will find themselves unwittingly consigned to life’s scrapheap.

The problem is clear – where are the solutions?

Deepening development gap

Before children even step a foot inside the classroom, boys are already behind.

The Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) notes that “a significant gender gap in both cognitive and socio-emotional development” emerges by the age of three.

By the time children start primary school, two-thirds of girls have reached a “good level of development”, suggesting they are able to write a simple sentence or count beyond 20.

Just under two-thirds of boys have hit that same milestone. For children eligible for free school meals, the disparity is even larger.

This gap that opens up at three never completely closes, according to the Institute for Fiscal Studies’ (IFS) analysis of Department for Education data.

“There’s a silent crisis brewing among boys and men in our classrooms, workplaces and communities,” says Richard Reeves, academic and author of Of Boys and Men, which explores the male malaise from cradle to career.

“Boys now lag behind girls and men lag behind women at almost every level of education. That’s true in nearly every rich economy.”

Reeves, a former adviser to Nick Clegg, the former deputy prime minister, says biology is behind some of this gap.

All the academic evidence suggests that the prefrontal cortex – or in Reeves’s words “the part of the brain that helps you get your act together” – develops around a year or two faster in girls than boys.

Girls are not smarter, they just mature faster, Reeves says. “Anyone who spends any time with teenagers knows exactly what I’m talking about.”

His conclusion is that there are simply some “natural advantages of women and girls in the education system”.

Rather than recognise and compensate for this, the system has in fact evolved in ways that favour girls. A switch to more coursework at GCSE level benefitted girls more than boys, according to the IFS, which noted that the gap in performance first emerged in the 1980s when exam-based O levels were replaced by GCSEs in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.

“The shake-up brought a move towards more continuous assessment, which seems to have benefitted girls,” the IFS said in a recent paper.

This idea is “quite hard to get this across because many people say: well if girls and women always had this natural advantage, why didn’t we see it 40 years ago?” Reeves says. “The answer is sexism.

“There is no doubt my mum would have gone to university if she was born 50 years later, but it wasn’t considered to be a thing. But now having taken the lid off, that potential for women in education just keeps going. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just that along the way a lot more men have fallen behind.”

Woes of the white working class

Of course, it would be wrong to suggest women were doing better than men in the working world. A median gender pay gap of 7.7pc still shows women are being shortchanged.

After graduation, men are more likely to get a “highly skilled” job than women and average earnings for a male graduate are around 9pc higher than a female a year after they leave university, according to the IFS.

That gap rises to 31pc a decade later.

However, what is worrying academics, politicians and teachers is that attainment among men and boys seems to be declining while for women it improves.

Average pay adjusted for inflation has fallen by 6.9pc for men since 2008, according to ONS data. Among women, it has climbed 2.2pc. In fact, men’s wages are no higher in real terms today than they were in 2002.

Men have been behind the fall in average hours worked since the pandemic, while women are working more.

Louise Murphy at the Resolution Foundation says the worsening prospects for boys and men reflect structural factors.

“The industrial structure of the UK has changed. Some of these manufacturing jobs that existed don’t exist in the same way now.”

Reeves says: “It used to be true that men with relatively modest levels of education do OK in the labour market. And that is not always the case anymore.”

The experience of boys in schools has led them to “underperform in the labour market” more broadly, he adds.

Achievement has become a particular issue among one subset of boys in particular: the white working class.

“Too many people in society just see these boys as the people on mopeds with a balaclava on their head,” says Andy Eadie, assistant headteacher at Cardinal Langley school in Rochdale. “Actually, that’s only a tiny minority.”

Eadie has taught at the mixed comprehensive school of 1,200 pupils since 2016. A fifth of his pupils are eligible for free school meals.

Many have already been “written off” by teachers as soon as they enter the classroom, Eadie says, particularly if they are white working class boys.

“There is a perception that some boys are already signed off and have no hope,” he says.

“The danger is that people aren’t bothered about these gaps. They’re just bothered about keeping them quiet so they can get on with other things.”

Just 14.6pc of white working class boys went into higher education in 2021. This was the lowest figure of any ethnic or socio-economic group and a third of the overall average, according to research published by the House of Commons Library.

Eadie says: “A lot of young people in the white working class background actually have really low self-esteem.

“And so you’ve got a lot of young people who potentially all underachieve and not feel very good about themselves.”

There are signs that this malaise is adding to Britain’s worklessness crisis. One in three 18 to 24-year-old boys were classed as economically inactive – meaning they’re not in work or looking for a job – in the three months to January, a record high.

The figure is up by more than five percentage points since the end of 2019, before the pandemic. Inactivity among 50 to 64-year-old men has climbed five times slower over the same period.

The inactivity rate among young men has roughly doubled since the early 90s, with almost two million now out of the labour force.

Some are choosing to stay on in education but the share of men not in employment, education or training (NEET) is climbing back towards financial crisis rates at 15.3pc. For women, it has remained on a bumpy but downward path.

“I think it goes back to the idea that we just don’t expect our boys to do well. So they don’t do well,” says Conservative MP Nick Fletcher, who leads the All-Party Parliamentary Group (APPG) for men and boys.

Caroline Barlow, headteacher at Heathfield Community College, has submitted evidence to the APPG suggesting there was a culture of low expectations for male students.

“In the early days, there was a tendency to almost just be grateful if boys were there and they were doing some work,” she said.

By shifting teachers’ expectations of their pupils, results improved and Heathfield was also able to close the gender gap.

Fletcher says: “We expect our boys to behave badly, so they behave badly. We are letting our boys down and unless we actually recognise we have a problem, then we won’t really start searching for the solution.”

Where does the problem start? Some think it is in the home.

Family circumstances have changed dramatically over the past few decades, with a sharp rise in lone parent households as divorce becomes more common or people don’t even get married in the first place. The vast majority of children in these circumstances grow up with their mothers.

In part, this reflects the economic empowerment of women: they can afford to be a single parent.

However, it raises the question of where male role models are coming from. Research conducted jointly by the Fatherhood Institute found that fathers who read to their children every day are contributing to their development and can help to address early attainment gaps.

The Conservative peer Lord Willetts writes in his book, The Pinch: “A welfare system that was originally designed to compensate men for loss of earnings is slowly and messily redesigned to compensate women for the loss of men.”

This too can leave men rudderless in mid-life.

As Reeves puts it in his book: “Economically independent women can now flourish whether they are wives or not. Wifeless men, by contrast, are often a mess. Compared to married men, their health is worse, their employment rates are lower, and their social networks are weaker.”

‘Crisis in masculinity’

The underachievement of men and boys was once seen as almost taboo.

“There have been people who have sniggered when I stood up and asked for a minister for men and a men’s health strategy,” says Fletcher.

“I genuinely believe some of the problems we face are down to the lack of interest in young boys and men, who we’ve always assumed are going to be fine.”

However, politicians have now started to notice.

Wes Streeting, the shadow health secretary, has announced that Labour is looking at introducing a men’s health strategy to address what he describes as a “crisis in masculinity” that is costing lives.

It is understood that Labour’s forthcoming review into mental health by Luciana Berger will include a chapter that focuses on male suicide. It remains the biggest killer of British men aged under 35.

William Hague, the former Tory leader, believes the issue is reshaping politics. He recently highlighted that a majority of men now believe they are being discriminated against, which is fuelling support among young men for extreme parties.

Fletcher is calling for a dedicated minister for men to match the minister for women, Kemi Badenoch, who is also part of the Cabinet as Business Secretary.

Despite overwhelming evidence that boys are falling behind, some colleagues still treat the idea of a dedicated minister with ridicule.

Fletcher says: “I think one of the problems that we’ve had as a society is there’s a lot of reluctance to speak up for men. We’ve noticed it in parliament over the years.”

Reeves wants to challenge the longstanding assumption that gender gaps only run one way.

He takes particular issue with the World Economic Forum (WEF), which looks at progress on gender equality across the world.

Countries are scored on a scale from zero to one, with the former representing no equality and the latter signalling full equality. The problem, says Reeves, is that the index itself assumes that only women have any catching up to do.

For example, it “assigns the same score to a country that has reached parity between women and men and one where women have surpassed men”.

This is a deliberate choice. However, as a result the UK’s educational attainment score stands at 0.999 despite the fact that girls have clearly outperformed boys for decades.

Reeves believes continuing to publish the index in this way is damaging and leads “to a lack of policy attention to the problems of boys and men”. In short, he says: “It makes no sense to treat gender inequality as a one-way street.”

The Government insists it is making progress, with a Department for Education spokesman saying the gender gap “across most headline measures is narrowing across all key phases.

“Education standards have risen sharply across the country, with 90pc of schools now rated good or outstanding by Ofsted, up from just 68pc in 2010.”

Reeves offers some radical solutions to closing the attainment gap in his book, including starting boys a year later in school. Many teachers and academics believe this is not practical and Reeves himself says the idea was designed to spark a debate.

Reeves says the evidence also suggests children should take more frequent breaks at school because boys find it harder than girls to sit still. He himself was put in a special class for English because his teachers felt he lacked focus.

At Balcarras secondary school in Cheltenham, headteacher Dominic Burke felt the only way to tackle what used to be a 15pc gender gap in the GCSE results was to level with his students.

“We got the boys together en masse and said to them: ‘You’re going to underachieve. The girls are going to beat you hands down’. And then we showed them the evidence. Their ability profiles were the same. But we said the reality is girls are going to get better results than you and we challenge you to be the first year group to stop that. We called it the ‘effort challenge’.”

It worked. Competition and the offer of cold, hard cash was enough to encourage many to put the effort in. Boys who were judged to have done so received £20 at the end of term. The school managed to close the gender gap and a few years ago, the boys beat the girls for the first time.

“Competition does work I think, and it’s a good tactic for teaching because it becomes a rewarding experience to meet the challenge,” says Burke. “If you make something more engaging and enjoyable, people are more likely to do it.”

Healing

No survey of the state of boys and men in Britain today can ignore the changing ideas of masculinity.

Whereas men were once seen as breadwinners, American sociologists Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas point out that many women in poor US neighbourhoods have come to see them “as just another mouth to feed”. This is disorientating.

Yet perhaps the way to survive as a man in the job market of the future is to junk ideas of traditional masculinity altogether. Many of the jobs of the future will be in things like caring and education.

Reeves wants governments to spearhead a drive to get more men into health, education, administration, and literacy jobs – which he brands HEAL – just as they have ploughed efforts into getting more women into science, technology, engineering, and mathematics – or STEM roles.

Increasing the number of male teachers would also raise the number of role models for boys in class. Three-quarters of state school teachers are women, according to data published by the Department for Education.

The share of men working in state-funded nurseries is even lower, at just 14pc. Around 30pc of primary schools have no male teachers at all.

“I did actually get some funny looks when I first started,” says one male nursery worker who does not wish to be identified.

“Even now I tend to leave the cuddles to my female colleagues as I think there’s still a stereotype that any man who wants to work with young kids has to be some kind of pervert.”

Encouraging more men into these types of jobs would be no small undertaking. Perceptions that men are not suited to caring or creative professions are deep-seated.

Florence Nightingale, who in the 19th century established the principles of modern nursing, insisted that men’s “hard and horny” hands were “not fitted to touch, bathe and dress wounded limbs, however gentle their hearts may be”. The Royal College of Nursing did not even admit men as members until 1960.

Edward Davies, policy director at the Centre for Social Justice think tank, cautions: “It’s absolutely right to remove cultural, perceived and real barriers that keep men from certain careers, especially caring and teaching professions. But we also need to be careful not to pretend men and women are exactly the same.

“At a blunt population level women seem more interested in people and men in things. You would expect to see that reality play out in the jobs they do too. Imposing quotas or expectations that all professions should be evenly split between men and women will probably drive some people into careers they are not suited to.”

Fixing Britain’s boy problem may be harder than even experts think.

[ Via: https://archive.today/AFaiR ]

The people who talk endlessly about "equality" and "equal rights" are strangely silent when it comes to areas where boys and men fall behind: education, health and lifespan, and life satisfaction.

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0205349

[ The Basic Index of Gender Inequality (BIGI, x-axis) as a function of the Human Development Index (HDI, y-axis).

BIGI is the average of 3 components: Ratio in healthy life span, ratio in overall life satisfaction, and ratio in educational opportunities during childhood (see Materials and Methods for details). Deviation from zero implies the extent of gender inequality. The plot shows the largest contributor to the overall score for each nation: Purple dots indicate healthy life span is the most important component, green dots indicate educational opportunities, and red dots indicate overall life satisfaction. The Ns indicate for each level of HDI how many nations have a BIGI score greater than 0, and how many less than 0. ]

Almost like it isn't "just about equality."

#Szu Ping Chan #education #education crisis #boy crisis #equality #religion is a mental illness

5 notes · View notes

fqirycollective · 2 years

Text

Endogenic Systems

What is an endogenic system?

The term “endogenic system” is an umbrella term for all systems that origins of plurality did not stem from trauma. According to all research I’ve read (and if you have a source, I’d love to read it /g), this is impossible. Systems form due to prolonged and severe trauma during childhood (although severity isn’t necessarily the most important part). In essence, I’d like to believe that all endogenic systems are really traumagenic systems that don’t remember their trauma due to amnesia and they identify as endogenic because of such. I hope this is the most common type, but I know it’s not. Other reasons people may identify as endogenic systems is because they want to fake a system without faking the trauma, they have an Internal Family System (IFS, which is very different from a system of alters), or they’re tulpas/tulpamancers (which unfortunately is often a culturally appropriated version).

Harm of Endogenic Systems

Endogenic systems do a lot of harm to our community. The first way is spreading misinformation. From the idea that systems can form without trauma, to the idea of system hopping from brain to brain. This gives singlets the wrong idea and romanticizes the idea of having alters. Alters aren’t something you want, but we’ve already made a post on that. System hopping (as the endogenic red-flagged term) is impossible, as you can’t literally give a piece of your consciousness to another person. It’s also used as a form of manipulation to cause fear and anxiety around the idea of someone else entering another system and harming the alters in said system. This fear and anxiety can be used to coerce a system into doing something they don’t want to do. Not only this, but endogenic systems often message “sysmeds” for believing science over what they’re talking about and angrily talk about how we deserve our trauma, how we should be traumatized more, etc. and while I’m sure these messages aren’t only from their end, it doesn’t change that it still happens, even to those who don’t send such messages first. The idea of being endogenic is also harmful to endogenic systems themselves, as it can shatter their entire reality when they do discover their trauma (if actually traumagenic).

“Trauma isn’t in the diagnostic criteria.”

This is absolutely true! It isn’t in the diagnostic criteria. However, do a little research on the history, and you’ll know why. But to put it simply, the phenomenon of dissociation was originally considered to be a form of hysteria. The 1st edition of the DSM differentiated “dissociative reactions” from “other reactions,” while the 2nd edition included dissociative conditions under hysteric neurosis. Eventually in the 3rd edition, the hysteria symptoms were distributed across a bunch of different diagnoses and the label of hysteria then became meaningless. Because of the history of dissociation being considered hysteria, the diagnostic criteria reflects that, NOT the overwhelming connection to trauma.

“There’s no connection between trauma and dissociation.”

In all studies shown, there has been a vigorous and consistent connection between trauma and dissociation. The connection between trauma and dissociation is so strong that the APA put dissociative amnesia, dissociative fugue, and DID under the commonly associated list for PTSD, a trauma disorder. However, things such as drug and alcohol usage can also simulate dissociative experiences. I even have quotes from an actual scientific paper to back this up. “Most patients with dissociative identity disorder, dissociative disorder NOS, and dissociative amnesia fit readily into the disorders of extreme stress NOS or complex PTSD paradigms, or both.” “Since the 1980’s, research has elucidated multiple lines of evidence linking dissociative disorders with antecedent trauma. In aggregate, these separate lines of evidence constitute a strong case for significant trauma as a necessary antecedent to the development of pathological dissociation.” “The frequency of this finding for many different forms of traumatic experiences and across many cultures indicates the universality of the association between trauma and dissociation.”

Non-disordered Systems

The only reason for a non-disordered system to exist is when a system undergoes therapy and trauma work enough to no longer qualify for a diagnosis (either through functional multiplicity or final fusion). Otherwise, there is no record of such an occurrence outside of what people just claim. The only scientific paper that I’ve read that suggested systems are formed by anything other than childhood trauma (that’s not the first few ideas) instead believed it is caused by psychologists implanting the idea of being a system into the person’s mind. Therefore, I don’t believe in non-disordered systems beyond systems formed through OSDDID who have gone through trauma work and integration. An IFS may fall under this non-disordered system idea though, so if anyone wants to comment about that and tell me for sure then I’ll gladly listen.

#did #DID System #osdd #osdd system #trauma #endogenic #endo system #shit endos say #anti endo #traumagenic only #non traumagenic dni #actually traumagenic

36 notes · View notes

doctorstrangeaskblog · 2 years

Note

Hello Doctor! I really want to read your comics but I don't know where to start. Can you recommed me some to read?

I started with Strange Tales from 1963 and followed the publication dates.The first stories are independent ones so the order doesn’t matter.

The easier way though might be: start by “Epic Collection” compilations or stuff like “the best of” or “the classic stories of”, which gather the most popular works. Then, go read the years you liked the most or the stories with the writer/director you liked the most, since there are SO MANY.I particularly love the publications between 1963-1985 because the stories are so interesting. I also love the What If comics in which Doctor Strange appears (What if Doctor Strange never learned magic and the one his master was Mordo). They are all so tragic and I love it.

My biggest advice is:

Don’t try to understand everything at once, just read the comics and move on and things will fall into place eventually.

A lot of things and events were retconned with time (like Clea betraying him and other factors) and some details change from time to time, like Stephen being able to eat normal food or not. This happens because of author divergences and the change of directors etc. But that sort of happens to all sorts of comics, so don’t worry about that.

Doctor Strange also appears a lot in other comics such as New Avengers, Young Avengers, Defenders, Fantastic 4, Spiderman and specials.You can find online compilations of every single comic so far that Doctor Strange appeared, if you want to beat every single time he appeared.

And keep in mind that now that the MCU has officially hugged the MULTIVERSE idea, remember each Stephen might be a different Stephen, just like the Blue Stephen (Supreme Strange) kinda looks like the first version of Doctor Strange (his cloak was blue with pointy details) and Defender Strange was based on the phase in which Doctor Strange founded the Defenders with Iron Man and participated in adventures with different characters, fighting non magical threats.

MCU Stephen resembles A LOT Infinity Saga Strange and 1985-1990 Strange (because he’s a depressed dork). Strange Supreme (What if) resembles a lot Doctor Strange from the What Ifs and from the arc from 1970-1980 in which he uses dark magic.

If you guys have more ideas or suggestions, please contribute in the comments/reblogs. This is just my opinion.

#doctor strange #doctor strange comics #comics #marvel #marvel comics #stephen strange #dr strange

14 notes · View notes

thenewsinfo · 1 year

Text

Chiefs' Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce deliver Jets draft 'what if'

PHOENIX – “What if” drafts are a part of Jets history. What if the Jets drafted Anthony Munoz instead of Lam Jones in 1980? What if three years later they chose Dan Marino over Ken O’Brien? Taking Kyle Brady over Warren Sapp still stings for Jets fans. This week at Super Bowl LVII, there are two Chiefs stars that will have Jets fans wondering what ifs. Both Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes and…

View On WordPress

#Chiefs of Kansas City #New York Jets #NFL #Patrick Mahomes #Philly Eagles #Sports #Super Bowl 2023 #Travis Kelce

3 notes · View notes

thessalian · 2 years

Text

Thess vs Gun Control

So here we go: the school shooting in Uvalde. Because ... y’know, I’ve been watching this shit for a very long time. Hell, this shit has been going on for a very long time - I was kind of horrified to find out that the first recorded school shooting in the US was in 1840. Numbers slowly escalated until about the 50s, when they started to increase rather faster and then fucking skyrocketed starting about 1980. And every once in awhile they have to upgrade ‘shooting’ to ‘massacre’ because of just how many people died. And I watch this and I just...

See, I live in the UK now. And in 1996, there was a school shooting that had to be upgraded to ‘massacre’. That was Dunblane. Thing is, there are two major differences between Dunblane and ... like, every unholy mess you find in the US. See, first of all, Dunblane wasn’t a student who got hold of his parents’ firearms or somehow managed to buy their own. No, the Dunblane Massacre was perpetrated by a paedophile asshole with four legally-owned handguns.

And that’s where difference number two comes in. Immediately after this whole mess - handgun ban. No ifs, no buts, no maybes. Automatic weapons are banned wholesale. Rifles and shotguns have control on the type and ammunition you’re allowed, and then only after a lot of background checks. And pistols? You’re literally only allowed a muzzle-loading pistol, and that with a license. Summary? They were tough on things here before Dunblane, but after? Nope nope nope.

Thing is, as much as I would love for this to happen in the US? I see it being a long, hard road to get there. Why? Because, again, gun culture. The US has one. The UK does not. When the handgun ban came into effect here, people quite happily took advantage of the buy-back scheme that the government ran. I don’t think that’d happen in the US ... and the worst part is? The people least likely to give up their guns are generally speaking the last people in the world who should have one.

They’ll always talk about how they need guns to protect themselves and their families, and the second amendment, and blah. And I actually had a friend who, when the Virginia Tech shooting happened, said, “If more of those kids or the teachers were armed, fewer people would have died”. Wouldn’t listen when I flagged up that was bullshit, and in fact that probably more people would have died. Because first of all, I’ve read where even armed people with military training haven’t just shot the gunman down in those situations; what the hell chance does a civilian have? And second of all - friendly fire isn’t. Once Mr Bullet has left Mr Gun, he is no longer your friend. More bullets just mean more deaths and more injuries.

As to the second amendment? That’s a horrible misreading and a moot point besides. People are granted the right to bear arms to form a militia against a tyrannical government. I mean, even if the people with the guns weren’t more likely to support the tyrannical government than oppose it, that amendment is a holdover from the days when weapons tech was a little more even than it is now. I’m sorry, but your AR-15 is going to do jack shit against a tank. So that kind of militia is pointless long-term, so the second amendment needs serious revision anyway.

But, again, gun culture. I know that everyone thinks that there should be better gun control. And there should be better gun control. The UK manages just fine without people being allowed automatic weapons and handguns. However, I don’t expect to see decent gun control in the US in my lifetime. There would be way too much push-back from way too many people who would shoot anyone who even tried to ‘take their guns away’.

And as for the people saying that Biden should just do it and to hell with what anyone else says? Keep in mind the following: that’s how Trump governed. We can’t be okay with one president throwing out an executive order for whatever he feels like at the time after we spent four years bitching about another president doing the same. That kind of law can’t just exist for people whose ideas we don’t like.

This is another one that has no easy solution. The handgun ban worked for the UK. It would never fly in the US. The only thing we can do now is try to break up the gun culture so that maybe, someday, our descendants will be able to do what we’d like to be able to but can’t.

#Thess has opinions

7 notes · View notes

brokenmusicboxwolfe · 2 years

Text

Anyone over a certain age that merely sighs and sees school shootings as inevitable is lying to you. They did NOT grow up with this happening.

When I was a child school shootings did NOT happen!!!!

Oh, I’m not saying there was never any violence in some idyllic age. But school shootings were on no one’s radar.

Oddly bomb scares were a thing at my school, but it was all just a teenage girl calling them in. We’d troop out like a fire drill, stand around a bit with a little extra “what’s going on” whispering, and then go back to class. No one actually thought anything was about to explode. **

But shootings weren’t a huge thing. In fact the only mass shooting I really remember from when I was growing up was at McDonalds restaurant. Maybe I just wasn’t noticing because I was a kid. I’m sure they happened, but the scale must have been small.

Admittedly I did spend time at school daydreaming about what I would do if a gunman came into the school, but I was always imagining what ifs. I was an imaginative kid, who read tons of book and comics, watched plenty movies and tv, and was eaten up with school anxiety. It was barely more realistic than what I’d do during an earthquake (I live in NC, so not earthquake country) or if I met an alien. I doubt most other kids thought much about it.

Look, there weren’t even cops at school! Maybe one came for an assembly or to talk to a class, but I don’t ever remember seeing one. Things like fights were sorted out by teachers…or not. Honestly few teachers wanted to stop a fight, just punish everyone afterwards. Soon after I graduated I heard they were going to have “resource officers” and I was horrified. I’d thought of school as being like a police state before there were actually police. It still bothers me, this normalizing of policing among children, but not having one seems have become unthinkable by most people.

Don’t get me wrong, school wasn’t anything like safe to our bodies and souls. School was full if bullying, sometimes violent. Cruelty from classmates, and MANY teachers, if you were even the slightest bit atypical was normal. Things that would never be allowed now were policy. School was a place of trauma and lifelong scars…

But you didn’t have to worry about being shot!

So if someone like me, a Gen Xer , remembers that having mass shootings in elementary schools is NOT normal, what is the excuse of all those Boomers for saying it’s just the way things are? They know better. And if the world is “just like that” now, who made it that way? Not the kids!

**Alright, when I was a teen a classmate and I made a game of plotting to blow up the school. We were only slightly serious, and even hypothetically we were going to do it on Sunday when no one would be around. We didn’t want to hurt anyone, just make a statement. But like I said, it was a game, and at the time we hadn’t so much as seen a movie involving blowing up a school. (Heathers wasn’t out yet, and we had limited access to older movies if there were earlier ones. ) It wasn’t “real” to us and not one person worried we would actually blow anything up. It was the late 1980s, and it wasn’t “real” to anyone.

#my day #schools #school shooting #gun violence

8 notes · View notes

denimbex1986 · 3 months

Text

'*****

Among the most profound and touching of films in recent years, All of Us Strangers weaves a harrowing tale of queer love; exploring lives unlived and the bittersweet truth that time with loved ones is precious and finite.

Written and directed by Andrew Haigh (45 Years), All of Us Strangers is based on Taichi Yamada’s 1987 novel Strangers, but changes the protagonist’s sexuality and relocates the story from Tokyo to contemporary London. While not strictly a ghost story or a time travel film, the film unfolds like a dramatisation of a dream from which one can’t fully awaken.

In a mostly empty apartment block, lonely screenwriter Adam (Andrew Scott) exists in the echoes of his past. Immersed in the music of his childhood, he remains disconnected from the modern world around him. But after a fire alarm goes off, Adam meets his flirty neighbour Harry (Paul Mescal), and the pair embark on a tender romantic relationship. Harry’s a self-assured millennial, masking his own alienation with a facade of brazenness and hedonism. Adam, on the other hand, is burdened by years of insecurity and discomfort in his own body, a lingering effect of being raised during the AIDS crisis. However, despite their contrasting personalities and past heartaches, they find a glimmer of hope for a future together.

Scott and Mescal’s chemistry together is undeniable. Both Irish actors are committed to the tenderness between Adam and Harry, two lonely men desperate for intimacy. All of Us Strangers concentrates on the small touches between the couple instead of the rough urges often depicted in queer cinema. And while their sex scenes are graphic, they never feel gratuitous, and it’s refreshing to see two men be allowed to be romantic in the bedroom on the big screen.

All of Us Strangers delves into grief through the lens of magical realism, interwoven with a romantic thread. Seeking inspiration for his next script, Adam returns to his childhood home in suburban Croydon (actually filmed in director Haigh’s own childhood home). To his surprise, inside he finds his mother (Claire Foy) and father (Jamie Bell) seemingly alive and well, the house frozen in time since their passing decades ago. The 1980’s decor remains untouched and an Erasure poster still hangs on Adam’s bedroom wall, creating an unsettling yet poignant tableau.

This encounter with his parents, decades after they died, sparks in Adam a touching reflection on how they’d react to his sexuality. While the tragic reality of their drunk driving accident leaves the night of their loss unalterable, he discovers solace in allowing them to witness him as a thriving gay adult. This reunion echoes the yearnings of many people, carrying the weight of a parental acceptance never achieved in life.

Despite good intentions, an awkward conversation arises as Adam confronts his sexuality with his mother. Her anxieties about AIDS and his potential isolation clash with his experiences of school bullying and adolescent discomfort. While their limitations, rooted in traditional mindsets, create tension, the interaction fosters healing. Although harrowing, these conversations are healing and offer hope to anyone going through the same struggles.

All of Us Strangers isn’t particularly concerned with explaining how Adam can be sitting in his parents’ kitchen years after their deaths. Audiences will have their theories about the film’s central phenomena, but writer-director Haigh smartly keeps many threads ambiguous and allows us to bring our own interpretations to what unfolds.

Though firmly centred on the queer experience and those who grieve a lost childhood, All of Us Strangers resonates as a universal tale. We all carry “what ifs” that time can’t mend and people we crave more time with who now aren’t with us. It captures the introspective conversations many of us have in our heads with loved ones, past and present, trying to rewrite or relive specific memories.

Lacking a defined setting, All of Us Strangers never feels real. James Ramsay’s cinematography creates a dreamy environment, often showcasing characters through reflections on windows and under the muted lighting of the London underground. As the narrative progresses, timelines blur, and the distinction between genuine events and the fragmented perceptions of an unreliable narrator becomes increasingly ambiguous.

Scott and Mescal give career-best performances as two lovers clinging onto each other in an empty London apartment block. There are so many emotions and generational trauma in just a glance between the pair. Scott’s physical performance around Foy and Bell, like a child awoken from a bad dream, is extraordinary. With each visit to his childhood home, he visibly regresses in age, culminating in slipping on his childhood Christmas pyjamas before bed. Equally compelling is Jamie Bell’s performance as a kind father overwhelmed by the task of comforting his adult child, solidifying his place as one of the most underrated British actors.

Mescal, as his portrayal in Aftersun (2022) also demonstrated, can masterfully balance charm and trauma. It’s perplexing that the Academy overlooked both actors at this year’s Oscars, while the BAFTAs nominated rising star Mescal but not Scott. A single tearful glance from either actor evokes more emotion than pages of dialogue could ever express.

Watching All of Us Strangers without any prior knowledge of the plot or ending is highly recommended. The film boasts one of the most devastating final half-hours in recent cinema, as the subtle writing and performances combine to deliver a gut-wrenching climax, leaving audiences feeling like they’ve been stabbed in the chest.

All of Us Strangers is a hypnotic study of grief, childhood trauma, and redemption through love. Is it a ghost story, a heartwarming love story, or a poignant metaphor for forgiveness? Regardless, it’s undeniably a powerful and moving film.'

#Jamie D. Ramsay #All of Us Strangers #Oscars #BAFTAs #Andrew Haigh #Andrew Scott #Claire Foy #Jamie Bell #Aftersun #45 Years #Strangers #Taichi Yamada

0 notes

codealiaswave · 4 months

Note

A question, totally far from destructive criticism…. Why in your two longest fics gambit is a total predator and rogue the opposite? why he does and undoes as he pleases in the relationship and she just accepts everything from him with so little resistance or lets herself be convinced so fast? It really strikes me and in a way it's even funny because in the comics their dynamic is the other way around, and what's even more curious is that in most of the romy fics I've read (a lot) that's how they write Gambit; imposing, cold, overwhelming…

Most of my fics come from a What If…? thought that popped in my head and wouldn’t go away. Sometimes to make What Ifs…? work, characters have to be a little off or put in a situation that causes them to behave differently.

Also, early Rogue (1980s) was written as this naive, innocent who was constantly trying to repent “evil” ways. My presumption would be the writers did this to balance out when one of her “psyches” went out of control. Something like, “see, she’s not really evil. It’s just her uncontrollable powers taking over from the evil person she absorbed.” Plus, she was physically untouchable (which I never liked and try to speed past or workaround).

Early Gambit (1990s) was this dark, mysterious character revealing very little of his history and following his own motivations without (seemingly logical reason or explanation. It took his second and third solos to really learn anything about his background. Before those, he often did things without considering anyone else (especially Rogue). He hadn’t fully committed to the hero life and waffled between returning home to the Thieves Guild, going out on his own again, or staying with the X-Men.

Since both my biggest fics are trying to establish What If…? versions of their comic history AND put them in the movieverse (because I’m getting tired of waiting for them in MCU), I often try to recapture these early dynamics. You may see a difference in the shorter fics because those plots usually are picking up on something directly happening in the comics around the fic’s publication date.

As for my themes coincidentally matching other fic writers, you’d have to go ask their motivation if you’re looking for any correlation. 🤷‍♀️

0 notes

519magazine · 4 months

Link

0 notes

backissuebin · 6 months

Text

What If. Before it was a series on Disney + the comic showcased alternative events or what ifs. With a dad who had comic shopps in the early 80s I inherited some really cool items, and these are 4 of my fav what if stories. What if #4 is my first intro to the Spirirt of '76, Patriot, and the Invaders as a whole.

Of Course everyone who knows comics get why what if 24 was so awesome but for those who don't, Gwen Stacy initially died int eh MCU and it changed Spider-man forever. Here we are privileges to witness a world where Peter Parker is forced into hiding after he saves the love of his life.

In issue 250 of Captain America, he is asked to run for President but declines, in What If 26, we are shown an era where Captain America runs and becomes President of the United States. Long live the President.

And the best of the best for last. What if 44 Captain America was revived today (1980's today). Here nothing went as previously recorded and Captain America wakes up to a world very different than even the normal MCU time line.

What if, no matter the character, storyline, or situation are alway a fun read and if you love alternate story and histories these are the just a small number of really great Vol 1 stories. Vol 2 of What if are even better if you can believe it.

#collectables #comic #comic covers #what if #sentroller #ebayseller #ebay #selling on ebay

0 notes

talkonlinecounselling · 1 year

Text

Why the Internal Family Systems Model Is so Effective for Couples Counselling

No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, or how long you’ve been with your partner, maintaining a healthy relationship can be tough.

Whether it’s difficulties with abandonment, ambivalence, communication, intimacy, trust, power struggles, financial problems, or something else entirely, romantic relationships can be very tumultuous and are often filled with conflict.

And when a couple is dealing with these kinds of problems, or questioning the viability of their relationship, one of the best ways to address these issues is through the use of couples counselling.

There are many modalities that are typically used by counsellors for couples therapy, including things like solution-focused therapy, narrative therapy, or the Gottman Method, but often these modalities don’t dig deep enough to actually get to the root of the problem.

However, there is another modality that’s been gaining ground in the world of couples counselling, not least because of how effective it is at getting to the root cause of relationship issues.

It’s called the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, and it has the potential to revolutionize couples counselling as we know it.

So, if you’re having relationship problems, and you’re looking for the most effective modality out there, then you’re going to want to keep reading.

Because in this article, we’re going to explain what the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model is, and why it’s so effective for couples counselling.

What Is the Internal Family Systems Model?

Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on understanding and addressing the internal conflicts that people experience.

The IFS model suggests that each individual has multiple parts within them, which are basically just sub-personalities or aspects of the self. These parts may have different beliefs, emotions, and behaviours, and can sometimes conflict with one another.

For example, in the context of couples counselling, a person may have a part of them that wants to be more intimate and spend more time with their partner, but it’s in conflict with a wounded part of them that wants to avoid getting too close, as it’s dealing with abandonment issues stemming from something that happened when they were a child.

This modality aims to help individuals understand and manage these different parts of themselves by learning to identify and communicate with these parts in an effort to develop a more harmonious relationship between them. This process can help people to reduce internal conflicts, improve emotional regulation, and increase overall well-being.

IFS therapy has become quite a popular form of counselling, not least because it can be used to treat a wide range of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and addiction.

What’s more, it can also be used in individual therapy, group therapy, and couples counselling.

Why Is IFS Therapy so Effective for Couples Counselling?

Although it’s not commonly used, the Internal Family Systems model is gaining ground in the world of couples counselling, as it can be highly effective at helping to maintain the health of relationships.

For one thing, because it teaches people that each individual has different “parts” within them that are sometimes conflicting, it provides a great framework for understanding and addressing conflicts that may arise between partners.

This can help couples learn to communicate more effectively and make them more likely to work together to resolve issues.

For example, if a couple is struggling with communication, the Internal Family Systems model can help them to identify which parts of themselves are contributing to the problem. Perhaps one partner has a part of them that is afraid of conflict and avoids difficult conversations, while the other partner has a part of them that becomes angry and defensive when they feel unheard.

But by recognizing that these different parts exist and considering how they affect the relationship, the couple can work together to find more effective ways to communicate and resolve conflicts.

Additionally, IFS therapy can help couples to build greater empathy and understanding for each other.

Because when both partners understand that they have multiple parts within them that may have different needs and beliefs, then it’s much easier for them to learn to approach each other with curiosity and openness, rather than judgment or criticism, which can lead to a deeper level of intimacy and connection.

In our experience, one of the best things about IFS therapy in relation to couples counselling is that it forces both parties to take responsibility for their own contributions to relationship problems, and that collaborative effort makes it more likely that couples will find long-term solutions and stick to them because everyone involved is investing their time and energy into solving the problem.

At the same time, the Internal Family Systems model goes much deeper than most modalities and is often better equipped to get to the root cause of problems, as it considers how what’s happened to you in the past, and the trauma it may have caused, could be contributing to problems in your current relationship.

Among other things, this allows people to have a better grasp of how to set boundaries, learn to accept responsibility for their actions, and stop expecting their partner to be responsible for the way they react, while having a better understanding of their partner’s sensitivities or vulnerabilities, and the behaviours they can inspire.

Overall, the IFS model can be a valuable tool for couples counselling because it helps individuals to understand and manage their own internal conflicts, along with those of their significant others, which can ultimately lead to more effective communication, deeper understanding, and stronger relationships.

Are you looking for couples counselling and would like to give IFS therapy a try? Contact us today to book your free consultation.

#family counseling #family trauma #family systems model #family relationships

0 notes

messyworldxx · 1 year

Text

Desiccated Echoes of Yesterday: A Reflective Essay by Nicole Aubrey Canarias

Bobby Griffith, a young man living in a small town in the United States in the early 1980s, is the subject of the film Prayers for Bobby. It's the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, and the belief in homosexuality is growing. In this story, I just wanted to express how grateful I am for his story, as tragic and sad as it is. The entire world is sharing and supporting it. And he appears to be a genuine, sympathetic guy, and after watching the movie, I feel so much sadness for other Bobby out there, Bobbies who have religious, ignorant parents and don't prioritize love. Not only did the film evoke strong emotions in me, but it also reminded me of some of my lovely gay friends. They are amazing, and they have given me a colorful light that has given me so many treasured moments.

(ctto)

As I reflect on the 5 stages of grief, I realized how messed up my life is. My Father died last April 2021 and my Grandfather died November this year; and I am still stuck in the 4 stages and never reached the last stage which is ACCEPTANCE. Let’s start with the first stage: DENIAL, in the movie, Bobby confessed to his mom about his gender preference and his mother is in denial and thought that Bobby can still change with the help of prayers and healing. The moment I heard the doctor mention the time of death of my Papa, I was in denial and thought it was just a dream. After his funeral, I just thought of him working in Korea while denying the fact that he died, and that went on for months. Every time I miss him and can’t process the thought of him lying down in a coffin, I run away from it and occupy myself with something else. I started working day and night, took care of my son in between, went out and had fun, depended on liquors and friends, and worst of all, I depended on someone whom I thought I could trust.

Second stage is ANGER. I remember Bobby and his mom had an argument which resulted in them not talking for quite a while, I can definitely relate to that. As I was starting to accept the fact that Papa died, I also stopped talking to people. I became so angry with the world and isolated myself from everyone. I went to Mindoro and walked away from everything. I did not reply to anyone, not even to my family and best of friends. I also questioned God for taking my Papa home very early, I still need him. Months passed and I became angry with myself too. I got angry that I wasn’t able to do my best as a daughter when he was still alive. I am angry that he was not even able to see me become successful. I was very mad that I forgot how to live, it felt like I was in a box trying to breathe just to say that I can, but not to live. I used to ask God, “how come it’s always me who goes through painful situations since I was a child? Are you mad at me? Please give me an answer.”

The feeling of anger eventually led to the third stage of grief which is BARGAINING, I started having my what ifs. I said “Lord, what if I devote my life to you and promise to do good deeds always. Will I wake up from this bad dream?” I also developed a thinking that If only I asked the doctors to revive my Papa, he would have been alive right now. This is one of the stages that I still cannot move on until now. Bobby used to say that if only he’s like everyone else, his mom would have been proud of him. I literally cried during those scenes of him bargaining. As I was trying to bargain, I became lost in a maze of what and only ifs. It caused me to find faults within myself and developed the feeling of guilt. At present, I am still bargaining with pain. I always negotiate with myself to get out of the feeling of hurt or pain of losing my anchor. When I pray, I say “ Lord, pakawalan niyo na ako rito. Parang awa niyo na po, ayoko na maramdaman itong sakit na ‘to.” I am willing to do anything to take away the pain and longing from losing my one and only ally, hero, anchor, and true love.

Bobby became depressed because of his situation and relationship with his family, specifically his mom. He tried to fight the feeling of loneliness, but he got tired of it and took his own life. As I continue my journey of accepting the fact that my Papa died, I am here stuck with the feeling of loneliness, and emptiness, that I continuously try to run away from. DEPRESSION affected my life in many ways. After Papa died, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Abandonment Issue; I know that no matter how hard I try, how many people I meet in a day, how fun my day went, it will never replace the feeling of void inside me. There will always be an empty space within myself. Every time I am at my best and even worst, I always cry. I miss having a parent, I miss having someone whom I could always rely on. I am a ship trying to stay afloat amidst the storm. I am continuously drowning while breathing, the water is taking over me which makes it harder to stay afloat. The peaceful thought of dying gives me peace and I am ready to die now. However, thinking about my son who needs me more than anyone, that thought keeps me afloat.

If there’s one thing that I am always praying for, it is the ability to ACCEPT that it will never be the same, that things will never go back to the way it is. I always pray to God and ask help from my Papa to be able to accept what happened. It's been almost 2 years and I still cannot accept the truth that he is gone. Whenever I feel like I am ready to accept things, the immediate response of my inner self is to think about what could have been, regrets, unanswered questions, and guilt. I don’t want to accept the fact that I am capable of living without my Papa. I feel guilty that I can laugh, have fun, and continue living a normal life without him around. As much as I wanted to accept everything, I am not yet ready to face the reality of not having a Papa in this lifetime. I know that it will take a long time for me to reach the ACCEPTANCE stage but I am certain that I will.

To my forever love,

Things were very hard and life was painful after you left but I am still here, fighting. I hope you’re happy and at peace with our Creator. Tatay died and I know that you are now together, telling stories to each other. I miss our ice cream, takoyaki, and ramen dates. I miss having you around, Papa. I miss your voice, laugh, and mini-drunk dances. Please help me accept the reality of you never coming back. Help me take away the longing, pain, and emptiness of losing you. I love you very much, Papa. Till we meet again in my dreams. You will always be the best person and I will always treasure all of your wisdom and our memories.

Your one and only princess,

Coli

1 note · View note