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inkskinned · 1 year

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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

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silverware-is-interesting · 1 month

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have some kinitoPET content, 'cause why not

a version with YOU

+ a thing and a few YOU doodles

#silverware's art #kinitopet #kinito the axolotl #sam the sea anemone #jade the jellyfish #YOU #(yeah that's what i'm gonna call them)#all caps names are great. dontcha think?#750 pixel by 750 pixel canvases are usually what i draw on and some of these are bigger. i'm not too used to that-#i thought it would be important to mention they're not meant to be a Y/N. they are their own person- that being some random enby person #and their web world avatar CAN emote! however! WHENEVER THEY WANT! ('less they like. forget to actually have the screen display on-)#if they forget (or just don't wanna be like. really fucking expressive i guess-) it just says “YOU”#they all have a smily pin!! (well- YOU has a sticker but whatever-) and yes. kinito having it on his left #and the others having it on their right was.#very intentional #over the heart :)#also YOU having it on the left side!! (i imagine kinito made their avatar and made it match!)#FUN FACT! YOU can change the colour of the display! they just picked white (ik it's off white. but idc) because they know the HEX code #anyways. imma stop yapping lol

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supemaeve · 2 months

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It's funny, you know, of all the people here, I've known you the longest. Sometimes it just seems like you're the only person I can lean on.

#queen maeve #homelander #the boys #maevelander #queenlander #i don't know what they're called #from all these gifsets you would assume i ship them romantically #i don't #but i do love their relationship a lot #and this was mostly born from me loving every time hl himself reminds the audience she was the closest to him #both affectionately and in terms of power #yeah that's why i included the deleted scene lol #it's canon to me #that part specifically #not the rest #my gifs #maeve #she meant a lot to hl and i'm gonna hate that he most likely won't care about her death in s4 #ok enough of me spamming her tag i'm done again for a bit

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zebratimw · 11 months

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Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

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disdaidal · 3 months

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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

#personal #i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week #i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here #but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting #i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday #where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get #after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks #but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that #what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed #so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try #because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times #which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even #so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call #from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today #and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out #'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out #because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own #i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still #but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously #so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me #i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but #at least i'd know #anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing #sorry

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radioves · 1 year

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its quite shrimple actually

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da-proti-toku-grem · 12 days

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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting

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cashewally-sarcastic · 15 days

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One of the windmill keepers in Mondstadt calls Barbatos a hard working archon and its such a multi layer thing. Cause the people of Mondstadt know that their god is absent but still believe in him. The first impression you get of Venti is of him being with Stormterror and THEN he is called lazy. It becomes a joke how lazy he is. But underneath the flavor text there are so many hints that yeah! Barbatos isn't lazy and does a Lot for Mondstadt- the winds. Its just everytime we-anybody meets Venti hes taking some time off.

Im so normal rn

The mondstadt npcs really get to ya sometimes huh

#i'm gonna ramble in tags in a second but also yeah!#i swear to god mondstadters heard other nations call their god lazy and are just 'okay lol sure. lazy archon. lmao even.'#anyway ramble time speaking of Keepers in mondstadt i wanna know what that stormwatcher npc is doin' in the mountains #and why *generations* of people who watch for storms over there exist b/c Vanessa ordered them to #anywho doesn't matter #hi steel!

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priceofreedom · 11 months

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rebirth is gonna destroy us i just know it

#as a zerith stan knowing aerith dies in zack's timeline is messing me up #like... they cannot meet unless they 'fix' the timelines or whatever #there's a chance the characters are not actually dead in zack's timeline but idk...#so yeah in the original timeline zack is dead of course #but in zack's timeline they are ALL dead. allegedly #so essentially it's like. if zack gets to live the others die instead??#what is zack's timeline gonna be like? i'm so curious and confused and lowkey scared aksjhkahlds #it's too soon to assume things but it doesn't look good for zack 🥴#he only has cloud atm and he's still in a bad condition apparently #he wasn't anywhere in that last scene in the DLC so either zack left him resting somewhere #or something else happened?#idk about y'all but i'm kinda going insane thinking about theories #the more i rewatch the trailer the more i realize how depressing it could potentially be...#also sephiroth might be travelling between the timelines #and i'm thinking... zackseph reunion maybe? 👀#he was also calling genesis but the trailer was from Ever Crisis right?#so what's going awn.......#i've seen ppl saying the tornado which potentially killed the party probably let weiss nero AND genesis out...#out of the deepground i mean #so does that mean zack will have to face the three of them at some point? that happened in HIS timeline #anyway i'm rambling ajskhakjs i HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS

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nonuggetshere · 11 months

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I'm gonna continue with the requests later, but I also felt the need to doodle my two PVs with a little bit of gender on the side

They're both still very much genderless, but because not every non-binary/agender person will have the same perception/feelings regarding their gender and won't have the same gender presentation, I decided to mess around with it a little

Hallow is genderfluidv(though after some consideration I realised agenderflux describes them more accurately, but oh well, these labels don't even exist in their story so who cares), they're non-binary but their alignment fluctuates between fem-leaning, masc-leaning, something in-between and neither. They're fine with any terms and pronouns but mostly go by they/them.

Luna is genderfae/transfem, their gender fluctuates between agender and fem-aligned non-binary. They mostly go by they/them and gender-neutral and feminine terms, they're fine with she/her and some neopronouns, but any masculine terms and pronouns are a big no-no for them. Currently, I'm considering making them an enby lesbian, but that might change in the future.

#spooky arts #hollow king au #I swear this is the longest I've ever spent considering what labels would describe a character. I myself have a weird relationship with #labels so I only ever think about what people would a character be into and how their gebder 'feels' like and never go into details #I spent like an hour looking for a term that could describe how I imagined Luna's gender LMAO #Hallow is mostly me projecting. Luna is 75% me wanting to explore a situation where the pure vessel comes out as trans after they're found #out that they're not hollow. And 25% spite for all the people who call them he/him #So you know how some enby lesbians describe their gender as like. The only connection to womanhood they feel is their attraction to women?#That's kind of the vibe I get from Luna. They're enby just very sliiightly titled towards womanhood #They're also a teen and in a scenario where all the different AU hollows interact they'd bond a lot with Hallow as the only other person #who went through the same confusing gender feelings as they are going through right now.#They're kind of like 'man I wish I was a girl sometimes so I could be called princess and wear dresses' 'you know you can just do that #right?' 'I CAN?'#Also even though they're fine with different pronouns I'm still just gonna be using they/them on my blog for them. Bc I know some people #are weird about Hollow's gender and refuse to acknowledge theyre enby or keep misgendering them 🙄 I don't wanna add to that #We give a little bit of gender fuckery to the vessels though. They deserve it.#But yeah I still wanna be clear. Their genders fluctuate in alignment but they're still very much agender/genderless. Please don't treat #them like binary people 😭

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ridiculously-over-obsessed · 4 months

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I swear, this is the last ever New Year that I ring in with people who don't value me or my time and efforts. This is the last year that I spend the holidays etc feeling utterly despondant and miserable. This is the last time I spend the 2 weeks that encompass Christmas, New Years, and my birthday with my cunt of a mother and sister. They have had almost 25 of them in some way or another, and this is their last. I'm done.

#max rambles a lot #pissed off exhausted and ready to go to bed now tbh #i worked really hard to try and make the most of the fact that i'm stuck with them #i bought us some fun card games for xmas to try and give us something to do together #and they just half heartedly sulked through it and then pissed off upstairs again less than an hour later #i'm done trying and i'm done caring #if i'm ringing in the new year by myself then so be it #seems a fitting end to this crap shoot of a year tbh #like it would be one thing if i was choosing to spend it by myself #but yeah i've put a lot of effort into trying to make the best out of this and they just both fucked off #mums watching whatever bs tv show she like this week and furthering her emotional affair with a married man #my sister who said she was tired and wanted a nap is actually on a discord call and yelling and laughing and screaming with her friends #so yeah fuck em i'm done making an effort to make things nice or easy or whatever #fuck 2023 tbh what an absolute cunter of a year #gonna make myself a drink and see if i can write anymore of this current chapter of tmwyh(icfit)#might get it out in the first couple of days of 2024 who knows #anyway happy new year ig

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outer-edges · 8 months

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bruh apparently my roommate fell down the terf pipeline this summer and proudly told me she is a terf tonight. uh. babe what the fuck do you want me to do with that.

#i made a joke about how the people i like to be friends with aren't her kind of people #referring to the fact that i like my little gaggle of loser and weirdos (affectionate) and she likes loser and weirdos (deragatory)#but she thought i was referring to the fact that i'm mostly friends with queer people and she was like #“omg yeah ur friends are going to call me a terf!! 🤣”#and then she told me she's on terftok and how she identifies as a terf #which this is a totally new development btw. in like june she told me she thinks she's getting indoctrinated and falling down the pipeline #but we had a long conversation about it and we've had a couple since and i thought she like changed her opinion #slash kept it the same as before she started falling down the pipeline #but i guess not?#and i guess she thinks it's funny?#idk lads i just know im gonna have to be real careful about who i bring around my apartment #unfortunately #i know she'll like be respectful if im around bc she doesnt want to upset me but i just dont want to have to deal w/ anything #she also was calling bella ramsey by every single set of pronouns in the world except for they/them bc i guess that was funny to her too?#and she was doing it for a nonbinary classmate of ours too #this all came about recently too like she used to respect pronouns and reject terf talking points?#ive heard her argue against them before what happened 😭

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mozart-the-meerkitten · 1 month

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Rant

I love my job because I love working with kids. I love seeing them grow and watching the ways their little minds work and helping them when they need it.

I also hate my job because I'll get used and abused all day, having to do things that AREN'T MY RESPONSIBILITY because literally no one else is paying attention to the kids, I am the only one watching even though I'm NOT the teacher, I'm NOT the classroom aide, I am a one-on-one.

But I CARE. I care so FREAKING MUCH about these kids that I can't just not do anything. I have TRIED to not do anything. It never works. And it's maddening and I hate it I hate it I hate that I can be USED in this way.

But by God these kids do not deserve to suffer just because I'm the only adult in the room willing to DO MY GOSHDANGED JOB so I do more than I should because these are LITTLE PEOPLE who don't UNDERSTAND. I want to wear a shirt every day that says, "I'm doing this FOR THE KIDS."

I just wish somebody else would do it for them too.

#rant #parapro #paraprofessional #kids #teacher #rant brought to you by: my coworker who does her job was out today and the teacher wasn't doing squat #and neither was the other teacher/aide #Idk how to classify her she's there because the actual teacher STILL doesn't have her certification #so for legal reasons she has to exist #and I GET that she didn't sign up to do this for a whole school year she signed up to do it for like a month #but crap happens and you're here so DO YOUR JOB #I 👏 AM NOT 👏 THE CLASSROOM 👏 AIDE 👏#STOP TREATING ME LIKE I AM #I'm also still sick and I am just TIRED #there was NO appreciation today #I had to YELL for them to realize one of the kids hurt me (slammed his head into my jaw not fun)#this happens at every parapro job I have I swear #one of the kids called me mean today and I almost lost it I swear #GIRL IT'S BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE DOING ANYTHING #*AND* I'M SICK #not like I wasn't the one to figure out what one of our nonverbal kiddos needed #she had like ten puzzles out on a table and I had her clean them up because the other kids were gonna need the table soon #whole meltdown but we did it #meltdown continues #she's just walking around with a puzzle crying she doesn't want to DO the puzzle but she doesn't want to put it back either #WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO JUST IGNORE THE CRYING CHILD (like everyone else)?!?#yeah did that for about a minute couldn't take it #asked if she needed a hug #got down and asked her what was wrong #she finally does uppy arms at me so I pick her up

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britneyshakespeare · 7 days

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re: my last long personal post about the day i had at work today

i'm sorry like i just can't get over it, i can't get over it. i am not there to be ogled, i am not there to be objectified. i'm not there to be a petting zoo or a table. i'm not there for any of it. i feel different enough at work for my age and position.

i'm VERY aware little boys have crushes on me. every now and then, one of them makes it very obvious. it's seriously nothing to me, because it's always been respectful. kids have crushes on adults, especially young ones. but i have no more intention of being a seductress than i would if i were fifty and married. i just so happen to be 25 and single. oh well. i am equally disinterested, and would like to be presumed as equally disinterest-ing. if i get a little unfair halo effect sometimes, i don't care.

it has literally never been so sexual in nature before. it has never been so much about my body, my legs. i worry about the reaction to this being dampened by the effect of the other adults around me seeing that and being like, well, yeah, if he's gonna be interested in anyone's legs, it'll be hers. i feel embarrassed calling attention to the fact that a kid is attracted to me. it has always, always been a non-issue before this. it has always been innocent and respectful of my role as the adult.

i wanna say i don't worry about this happening again, because it is a first. it is a first for me in four years, with dozens if not hundreds of kids, that i've been treated so inappropriately by a child. i worry about this being seen as more natural because it happened to me. but it's not natural just because it happened to me. i'm the teacher that a lot of kids have little crushes on, whatever. i'm not the teacher kids get to pinch and gawk at; that's never happened.

if this happened to me and i were fifty and married, would it be more scandalous? would i just, perhaps, not be believed? i don't know. i don't know. i keep going down these thought spirals of why me. what is the reaction people have to it being me? because while the few people who saw/heard about this seemed not to condone it, they don't seem shocked either. but it hurts, it does, because i'm shocked. that it happened to me. it's like i don't really know if people can put themselves in my shoes more than they can put themselves in his.

a young woman being treated at her place of work as a piece of meat is offensive, but it's everyday. it's banal. a teenage boy having a preoccupation with an adult woman that he can't see as fully human also so normalized. it just feels like an unempathetic view for me is all i can expect. when i already experienced this alone. AND i have to be the one to take responsibility and make others aware about it. because it's not like he was going to... somebody had to. and oh, look, i'm the adult. that makes me somebody.

like i don't even want him to be "punished" per se. i just want to be assured that steps will be taken to stop him from objectifying more women and girls in the future. holy shit, WHAT if he does this to a girl his age? would he? i don't know. i don't know the kid well. i have an idea of why he targeted me, but i don't know what he wouldn't do to someone who was more of his equal. i can't speak for or predict that.

it's just fucking humiliating. hi yeah i'm the substitute from friday. yeah i'm the one he couldn't keep his hands off of. cuz i dared to wear a skirt. yeah, same skirt i've worn to work with kids a bajillion times in the past four years. yeah i guess i was just so seductive. like give me a break; i don't want to receive any more attention for this but it just feels like i'm gonna. i don't know what kind of response i'm going to get to the email i wrote the regular para.

i don't know if i'm gonna have to elaborate further. i feel like i shouldn't have to. i gave her all the details somewhat unemotionally; it just stings the more and more since i got out of work. like i just can't believe that really happened. and the shock was dulled while it was happening, because i didn't believe it was happening. the more hours go by the more i'm like, well, yeah, i did the right thing: escaping that situation as promptly as i could, telling another adult, and emailing the permanent teacher about it.

i keep wanting to act unaffected by it. but i'm just so offended and dismayed. i also feel powerless, because i couldn't be the one to get him to stop. something about my presence to him was an invitation to treat me that way, and my not being amused did not deter him. it feels like the interpretation he had of me was not at all in my control. he wanted to view me as an object, and so i was one in his eyes. the other teachers can scold him for that, make him feel bad for that, but i can't. i'm not really the authority. i'm just the pretty one.

#cont #long post #tales from diana #yeah i'm gonna be in a bad mood about this for who knows long #this was just today. hahaha funny thing is i'll definitely remember this for years!#idk. i have a feeling the principal will reach out to me if nothing else. definitely the permanent teacher will #but i dont really know that permanent teacher well so i have noooo idea what to expect #i got mixed reactions from the other two paras i was working with today when i told them #and again thank god for that social studies teacher who didn't try to draw attention to it but helped me create some distance #between the kid who kept grabbing me and calling me pretty while i was just trying to give him instructions #i was told this is new behavior from him. well the first time better be the last time. that's all i can say

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mercymaker · 1 month

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chilling vibing getting stuff done and then suddenly getting hit by 'why do you try so hard to make something new and good and bend yourself backwards pushing for quality when that stuff is mostly discouraged and low effort quantity-over-quality stuff is constantly rewarded'

#life #was on a high after writing quite a bit today #but now feel like a deflating balloon lmao #like yeah nah yeah i've worked with social media enough to know that you have to play 'their' game in order to 'succeed'#but that whole premise is so soulless and yet #it's the shit paradox that most often the less time and effort you put into something the more likely it will do good online #but with constantly diminishing returns it can get pretty tough #like the pattern is there it's all in motion #and it's just gonna get worse and worse and worse #people barely reblog anymore barely comment #i started posting my writing because i thought 'well at least one person might like it!'#like... i cannot NOT write it's just who i am #but even with the folders full of personal writing and whatnot at some point i stopped #because writing is just incredibly lonely and it was starting to make me feel worse about it so i stopped #but yeah nah fam #i'm just fully in the period shits and getting emotional #but the ongoing decline of engagement and communication is just sad to see #like even artists around me who are incredibly talented i see them barely get any notes and if they do it's pretty much all likes #shit's depressing fam #and then on top of that we have people stealing shit from us #like that fucking guy who copied every bg3 creator's ideas and then started playing victim when called out #what was up with that lmao

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i3utterflyeffect · 1 month

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also sometimes with the media i consume i don't think about how starved i was for good trans rep as a kid and i just remembered this morning the first time i saw a trans person in a movie and it's just like. man............

#was the studio ghibli film w the trans woman #tokyo godfathers i think it was called? and i'm pretty sure it was the dub that was recontextualized with trans rep #and i literally fucking sobbed my eyes out after the movie bc it was a time where i was still really confused about my gender #am i a woman? no. was it still really important for me to see a trans character at that time in my life? ABSOLUTELY!#i think it's part of what prevented me from going down the worse pipelines when it came to being transgender #i'd rather not tag them because you just know some fuckers are gonna hound me but. you know what i mean yeah?#pitch posts #just. god. i forget how fucking lucky i am to be alive in even the very beginning of the era where we began to be accepted

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